Etiquette Hell

General Etiquette => All In A Day's Work => Topic started by: Syfygeek on February 18, 2013, 10:33:25 AM

Title: Update #20 Enough is enough, but how to say it?
Post by: Syfygeek on February 18, 2013, 10:33:25 AM
I am a notary.  I am the only one where I work.  The company paid for my renewal and new stamp a few years ago, and I notarize company documents whenever requested.

I will also notarize personal documents for employees when needed. But one employee is driving me crazy. His work hours and mine end at the same time.  He wants me to stay beyond my quitting time so he can get off work and then come to my office to notarize something (he works 2 blocks away). So far, we've only communicated in voice mails, but I have told him that my office hours are from 7:30-4:30, and if he wants me to do this, he needs to see me then.

I have tried the Toots Special, repeating in each message I leave him "my office hours are from 7:30-4:30" but it doesn't seem to sink in.

Suggestions?
Title: Re: Enough is enough, but how to say it?
Post by: Auntie Mame on February 18, 2013, 10:39:24 AM
Keep saying no, keep repeating your office hours.  he can show up with the documents after 4:30 as many times as he wants, you won't be there to notarize.    Perhaps tell him "You are free to stop by after 4:30pm, but I will not be here".
 
He is interrupting your work day?  Because that is something I would take to my manager.

Title: Re: Enough is enough, but how to say it?
Post by: bopper on February 18, 2013, 10:40:22 AM
Why can't he come at lunch time? 

I think you need to be a bit more forceful that after work won't work for you.  Also you could send him an email reiterating.

"My office hours are from 7:30-4:30 and I will not be staying later as I have other obligations. I can meet you during lunch if necessary.  If this doesn't work for  you, then perhaps you can try your bank or credit union as they also have notary services at no cost and are often open on weekends."
Title: Re: Enough is enough, but how to say it?
Post by: onyonryngs on February 18, 2013, 10:42:31 AM
Just tell him that you cannot stay past 4:30pm to notarize personal documents & he needs to make arrangements to stop by for this favor while you're in the office. 
Title: Re: Enough is enough, but how to say it?
Post by: SamiHami on February 18, 2013, 10:45:20 AM
Perhaps the next time you speak with him, or leave him a message, you could state explicitly "I will not be able to stay late to accommodate you. If you want to come to my office during my regular working hours I will be happy to notarize a document for you. If that does not work for you I suggest you check with your bank or your local library as they often have notaries available."

 Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
Title: Re: Enough is enough, but how to say it?
Post by: peaches on February 18, 2013, 10:49:03 AM
I used to be a notary for an office where I worked. I never was asked to notarize personal documents. That kind of presents a problem, in that company time shouldn't be used for it. Personal time is, after all, personal, and you naturally don't want to spend time right after work doing this.

If this is a regular need of his, I'd suggest he find a different way to solve this. He shouldn't be imposing on you.
Title: Re: Enough is enough, but how to say it?
Post by: MyFamily on February 18, 2013, 10:53:08 AM
I am also a notary for the office where I work, but my boss wants me to notarize personal documents - he feels that the small cost involved is a nice perk for the staff that they can get items notarized during the day without having to go elsewhere.  That said, I'd never agree to stay late to notarize documents unless there was a really good reason.  I think you need to continue to tell your coworker no, and if he stops by after you've left for the day, that is his problem.  I would also suggest following up with an email, since so far all requests have been done via voice mail, that way if he complains you'll have an email showing you told him that was not possible.
Title: Re: Enough is enough, but how to say it?
Post by: siamesecat2965 on February 18, 2013, 11:42:48 AM
My friend is a notary, and the company has no problems with employees coming to her with personal docs; upper management also does it.

But in this case, I think all the OP can do is reiterate her hours, and that she will not, and cannot stay late to accommodate him.  and if he gets annoyed when he shows up after she leaves, and she isn't there, too bad. He's being a special snowflake.
Title: Re: Enough is enough, but how to say it?
Post by: peaches on February 18, 2013, 12:01:14 PM
I have tried the Toots Special, repeating in each message I leave him "my office hours are from 7:30-4:30" but it doesn't seem to sink in.

Suggestions?

If it's not sinking in, could it be that you are staying to notarize documents for him, when he shows up at 4:30?

If so, the solution is to refuse to stay. Say "I'm so sorry, but I have to leave now. I can help you any day from 7:30 - 4:30."

Title: Re: Enough is enough, but how to say it?
Post by: Syfygeek on February 18, 2013, 12:09:44 PM
Thank you for the suggestions- I have not stayed late for him, he's called repeatedly to have docs notarized, but hasn't been able to get here. 

I found out after my original posting that his normal hours do not start before 9:00 AM. If he cannot come in early, I most assuredly will not stay late.
Title: Re: Enough is enough, but how to say it?
Post by: peaches on February 18, 2013, 12:14:45 PM
I'm wondering, what is he doing that he needs this service regularly?? I need a notary about once every 10 years. If I needed this service regularly, and they are personal documents, I'd be looking for another solution, one that didn't involve someone at work.

I wouldn't worry about it. This truly is his problem to solve.


Title: Re: Enough is enough, but how to say it?
Post by: oceanus on February 18, 2013, 12:27:01 PM
Like peaches, I rarely need a notary.  (Maybe every few years for something legal, estate/financial forms, etc.).  So the fact that he needs notary services so often is strange.

POD.  "I can't stay after 4:30". 
Title: Re: Enough is enough, but how to say it?
Post by: BeagleMommy on February 18, 2013, 02:04:18 PM
His work hours are later than yours so he should be the one making a concession.  Since he starts at 9:00 he could easily come in early, get his stuff notarized and be at his desk on time.  Especially since you say he works only two blocks away.

Keep up the "later, rinse, repeat".
Title: Re: Enough is enough, but how to say it?
Post by: snappylt on February 18, 2013, 02:30:31 PM
Would it be possible for you to be politely honest and say that he is asking you to stay at work beyond your quitting time, you have other obligations after work, and while you are willing to help him during your work hours you are not available outside of work hours?  (All said in a polite tone of voice, of course!)
Title: Re: Enough is enough, but how to say it?
Post by: Amara on February 18, 2013, 02:55:13 PM
Since you've explained it to him already, I see no need to repeat yourself (again). Simply reply, "I can see you any workday between 8:00 and 9:00 am."
Title: Re: Enough is enough, but how to say it?
Post by: TootsNYC on February 21, 2013, 10:31:24 AM
Maybe stop using a positive.

Use a negative. It seems like that may be the only thing that gets through. When you reiterate when you ARE there, that doesn't tell him to stop.

Say, "No, I will not be here after hours. I'm sorry I can't help you. If you don't want to come in early (since I'm here before you), then you'll need to find someone else. Perhaps you can try a real-estate office or the Yellow Pages. Good luck."

And then never respond when he asks repeatedly.
Title: Re: Enough is enough, but how to say it?
Post by: Dorrie78 on February 21, 2013, 11:24:46 AM
Maybe stop using a positive.

Use a negative. It seems like that may be the only thing that gets through. When you reiterate when you ARE there, that doesn't tell him to stop.

Say, "No, I will not be here after hours. I'm sorry I can't help you. If you don't want to come in early (since I'm here before you), then you'll need to find someone else. Perhaps you can try a real-estate office or the Yellow Pages. Good luck."

And then never respond when he asks repeatedly.
I agree with this - I guess I don't understand what exactly the problem is. OP - your workday ends at 4:30. Just leave at that time. You've told him that is when you leave. Why are you having any sort of a discussion with him about your hours? Tell him once that if he shows up after 4:30, you won't be there and then ignore any emails or calls after that ask you to stay later.
Title: Re: Enough is enough, but how to say it?
Post by: Really? on February 21, 2013, 11:37:24 AM
Hi

I work retail and our posted  hrs are xx - yy, and people show up at 1 minute before yy and think they can start shopping and we'll just stay late, since we're there to serve them. Right? no, not right.

I would suggest you tell anyone, posted hours are xxx but somehow stress that your out of the offce at closing.

onlyme
Title: Re: Enough is enough, but how to say it?
Post by: lowspark on February 21, 2013, 11:51:28 AM
I am a notary.  I am the only one where I work.  The company paid for my renewal and new stamp a few years ago, and I notarize company documents whenever requested.

I will also notarize personal documents for employees when needed. But one employee is driving me crazy. His work hours and mine end at the same time.  He wants me to stay beyond my quitting time so he can get off work and then come to my office to notarize something (he works 2 blocks away). So far, we've only communicated in voice mails, but I have told him that my office hours are from 7:30-4:30, and if he wants me to do this, he needs to see me then.

I have tried the Toots Special, repeating in each message I leave him "my office hours are from 7:30-4:30" but it doesn't seem to sink in.

Suggestions?

Quit calling him back. You've already left him voice mails with the information he needs. He now either shows up during your office hours or he doesn't. Either way, it's not your problem. If he continues to leave you voice mails, just ignore them. Question has been asked and answered multiple times. End of story.
Title: Re: Enough is enough, but how to say it?
Post by: oceanus on February 21, 2013, 12:23:46 PM
Another thing - if he showed up in my office and stood in front of me at 4:25 with his papers, I'd tell him he would have to come back tomorrow or get notarized someplace else.  I used to hate those 4:55 calls/appearances because I need time to finish what I'm doing, clear my desk, lock and shut off whatever needs it, and leave.
Title: Re: Update! Enough is enough, but how to say it?
Post by: Syfygeek on February 21, 2013, 03:11:08 PM
UPDATE!

I received a phone call from him. He just wanted me to know that he and his wife went to the bank to have their docs notarized, so I didn't need to worry about staying late for him.

I evidently was being too nice if he thought that was a possibility.
Title: Re: Update #20 Enough is enough, but how to say it?
Post by: Giggity on February 21, 2013, 04:56:20 PM
"Nope, sorry, but if you get here by four I can take care of it."

Every time he asks, same tone of voice.
Title: Re: Enough is enough, but how to say it?
Post by: LadyClaire on February 22, 2013, 06:56:37 AM
Another thing - if he showed up in my office and stood in front of me at 4:25 with his papers, I'd tell him he would have to come back tomorrow or get notarized someplace else.  I used to hate those 4:55 calls/appearances because I need time to finish what I'm doing, clear my desk, lock and shut off whatever needs it, and leave.

I get stuff like that all the time. I get here earlier than all of the other assistants, so I leave earlier, too. Which means people either forget I leave at 4:30 or they assume I'm OK with staying late to help them because the other assistants are here until 5:00 or 6:00. My voicemail even states my hours and I'll come in to work in the morning to find missed calls/voicemails from the same people at 4:45, 4:50, 5:00, and so on. I've worked here for nearly 3 years and people still can't seem to remember or care that once 4:30 hits, I'm on my way out the door.
Title: Re: Update! Enough is enough, but how to say it?
Post by: JenJay on February 22, 2013, 06:58:53 AM
UPDATE!

I received a phone call from him. He just wanted me to know that he and his wife went to the bank to have their docs notarized, so I didn't need to worry about staying late for him.

I evidently was being too nice if he thought that was a possibility.

"No worries, I wasn't planning to."  ;D
Title: Re: Enough is enough, but how to say it?
Post by: Hmmmmm on February 22, 2013, 07:37:10 AM
Hi

I work retail and our posted  hrs are xx - yy, and people show up at 1 minute before yy and think they can start shopping and we'll just stay late, since we're there to serve them. Right? no, not right.

I would suggest you tell anyone, posted hours are xxx but somehow stress that your out of the offce at closing.

onlyme
off topic
The retail issue is because of a norm change.  I do rember when retail establishments kept their doors unlocked till closing time and were welcome to stay until they finished their shopping. But I think once large stores with a massive labor force became more common it wasn't feasible to continue to do that.