Etiquette Hell

General Etiquette => Family and Children => Topic started by: Softly Spoken on February 22, 2013, 11:34:30 PM

Title: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: Softly Spoken on February 22, 2013, 11:34:30 PM
Okay the shared dessert thread reminded me that I almost never got upset about sharing dessert...because whenever I would eat out with exBFF I almost never was "allowed" to order any. >:( :'(

My friend B was almost always on a diet for an upcoming wedding or, if not that, always in a hurry once she decided she was done with her meal. Early on in our relationship, I would express and interest in ordering dessert and be dismissed with "Oh you don't need that," "We (um, we? ???) don't need that today," and at one point she informed me that I was being rude/a bad friend if I ate it in front of her when she was on her diet. Now I will admit to buffing my spine if I was really in the mood and the restaurant had amazingly awesome dessert, but for the most part I would just shrug. I think sometimes I felt pressured if we had gone to a restuarant far away in her car, because then I felt more like a "guest" even when we went dutch since I couldn't tell her to go on without me - well I could have but I never found dessert worth the trouble of making it my hill to die on.

Looking back on it, I really can't believe I let her bulldoze me like that. I don't think she had any right to tell me what I could or couldn't eat. Her diet was not my problem. My diet was none of her business.

I've heard of similar instances on this board in regards to vegetarians claiming other people eating meat was offensive to them. I could never wrap my head around this. It always sounds to me like an SS whining "You aren't doing what I want so you are meeeeean," not an actual case of rudness.

Now the most I can give to my exBFFs pov is to acknowledge that if you are done and ready to go it can be frustrating to have someone lingering over dessert if you both came in the same car - but I think the mature thing would be to just say so and maybe ask them to either get it to go or maybe say they could get it next time, instead of aggressively trying to talk them out of doing what they want just because it inconviences you.

So my stance on eating out, with anyone, is: my food, my business. Is that in any way rude or unreasonable? What the heck is up with people who try and tell other people what they can and can't order? >:(
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: GSNW on February 23, 2013, 12:45:55 AM
It's rude and off-putting for sure.  Eating out with someone is (IMO) about the company first, though I get that most people like to pick a fun/tasty place to eat, so the food is definitely part of it. 

I have a coworker who does the opposite - she is a diet shamer.  I can only conclude that she's terribly insecure about her weight/eating habits.  She actually got mad at me on a field trip once - we stopped for lunch with a few options and she asked me to hit burger joint with her and I said I was going to eat at subway instead.  "Come on, a few fries won't kill you.  You didn't even have a bug breakfast."

Food is such a touchy topic for so many people, me included. 
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: DottyG on February 23, 2013, 01:43:38 AM
Softly, your story makes me angry. And it makes me want to drive you to the nearest "got the yummiest desserts" restaurant right now and let you get as many desserts as you want.

Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: Diane AKA Traska on February 23, 2013, 05:12:25 AM
It's rude and off-putting for sure.  Eating out with someone is (IMO) about the company first, though I get that most people like to pick a fun/tasty place to eat, so the food is definitely part of it. 

I have a coworker who does the opposite - she is a diet shamer.  I can only conclude that she's terribly insecure about her weight/eating habits.  She actually got mad at me on a field trip once - we stopped for lunch with a few options and she asked me to hit burger joint with her and I said I was going to eat at subway instead.  "Come on, a few fries won't kill you.  You didn't even have a bug breakfast."

Food is such a touchy topic for so many people, me included.

How can you not have a bug breakfast?  Crickets are the most important meal of the day!  ;)
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: siamesecat2965 on February 23, 2013, 08:27:21 AM
I think its rude; I know I don't always order dessert, or sometimes I'm the only one in the group who does. It has never occurred to me that its rude to make people "wait" while I have my dessert. And I've never thought when I don't and others do, hurry, hurry, let's go, I don't have time for this.

ExBFF was rude. If she didn't want any, fine, but that doesn't give her the right to dictate what others can do or have.  My cousin can be like that sometimes. She is forever trying to lose weight on fad diets, and through not so healthy methods. I'm convinced she thinks she has a supermodel figure lurking inside her, which, I'm sorry to say, she does not. What's funny is she'll be on this eat right kick one day, then the next have a huge sundae. I've learned just to ignore her and do what I want.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: weeblewobble on February 23, 2013, 08:40:11 AM
I probably would have ordered the dessert to go and eaten it when I got home.  I'm all for being considerate, but I have an instinctual negative almost over-reaction to people trying to control me.  I've had people say, "Oh, you don't want that, you want XYZ." when I mention what I want.  Or, "Wow, are you really going to eat all that?" when I'm starving after spending two hours at the gym that morning.  What I eat is no one's business.

I, too, had an ex-friend on a perpetual diet.  (Fiona, the one who was always trying to "improve" me by rescuing me from my own tastes and trying to force me to like different tv shows, books, etc.) It never lasted more than a few months as she bounced from fad to fad.  She frequently told me what I did and didn't need to eat based on whatever fad of the moment she was devoted to.  I pretty much ignored her and did as I pleased. Until she went carb-free and I ordered pasta for lunch.  She spent the better part of an hour complaining about how mean and unsupportive I was to eat that in front of her, and how baaaad it was for me, and I was never going to change for the better if I kept eating this way.  I enjoyed my pasta and went home.  She emailed me a menu/meal plan she'd put together for me from her diet plan because she was "determined to fix this problem for me."

I ignored her meal plan and declined meals with her from then on.  She continued to harp on me about my tastes and need for personal improvement, including telling me to take a direction with my work that probably would have tanked my career if I'd followed it.  I continued to ignore her advice, making her lament about my stubborn nature.  Because good friends do what they're told, I guess.  ::)

The final straw was when I asked her why she was trying to improve me all of the time.  Either I was good enough to be her friend or I wasn't.  The look on her face said it all.  I relieved her of the burden of being friends with "someone like me." :)  And I'm a lot happier.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: jaxsue on February 23, 2013, 08:57:10 AM
I have a friend whose parents take us out to dinner when they come to town. The dad always brings coupons for chain restaurants and decides where we will eat and what we will eat, based on the coupons. Fine, he's paying, his rules.

What was odd was one time friend and I decided we'd order an app (to share, we said). We'd pay for it. The dad was visibly upset. And when friend oredered a soda instead of a water, dad was upset once again.

Okay, so dad pays, dad makes the rules. Yet when I paid for everyone's meals the dad still controlled everything! The level of control was astounding (yes, he is "Mr. Control" with a lot of things).
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: GSNW on February 23, 2013, 11:53:42 AM
I have a friend whose parents take us out to dinner when they come to town. The dad always brings coupons for chain restaurants and decides where we will eat and what we will eat, based on the coupons. Fine, he's paying, his rules.

What was odd was one time friend and I decided we'd order an app (to share, we said). We'd pay for it. The dad was visibly upset. And when friend oredered a soda instead of a water, dad was upset once again.

Okay, so dad pays, dad makes the rules. Yet when I paid for everyone's meals the dad still controlled everything! The level of control was astounding (yes, he is "Mr. Control" with a lot of things).

I would probably decline invites from this man in the future!  That sounds really uncomfortable for everyone except the food nazi.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: *inviteseller on February 23, 2013, 02:26:10 PM
Water???   He only let you get a water?  A soda is like $2 with free refills !  If I went out to eat with them again, I would ask for a separate check and pay my own way to eat what I want.  If someone is treating, I keep it reasonable, but as an adult, to be told what I will be ordering and only getting to drink water?  Nope. 
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: jaxsue on February 23, 2013, 04:34:24 PM
Water???   He only let you get a water?  A soda is like $2 with free refills !  If I went out to eat with them again, I would ask for a separate check and pay my own way to eat what I want.  If someone is treating, I keep it reasonable, but as an adult, to be told what I will be ordering and only getting to drink water?  Nope.

Yeah, he has control issues. According to friend, he's always been this way. I'm going to try your suggestion next time. It should be interesting.  :)
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: PastryGoddess on February 23, 2013, 05:20:29 PM
Water???   He only let you get a water?  A soda is like $2 with free refills !  If I went out to eat with them again, I would ask for a separate check and pay my own way to eat what I want.  If someone is treating, I keep it reasonable, but as an adult, to be told what I will be ordering and only getting to drink water?  Nope.

Yeah, he has control issues. According to friend, he's always been this way. I'm going to try your suggestion next time. It should be interesting.  :)

I'll be looking for news of an unexplained volcanic eruption happening in a chain restaurant.  :D
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: Susiqzer on February 24, 2013, 11:19:22 AM
I have a friend whose parents take us out to dinner when they come to town. The dad always brings coupons for chain restaurants and decides where we will eat and what we will eat, based on the coupons. Fine, he's paying, his rules.

What was odd was one time friend and I decided we'd order an app (to share, we said). We'd pay for it. The dad was visibly upset. And when friend oredered a soda instead of a water, dad was upset once again.

Okay, so dad pays, dad makes the rules. Yet when I paid for everyone's meals the dad still controlled everything! The level of control was astounding (yes, he is "Mr. Control" with a lot of things).

Oh, I waited on someone like this once, when I was a server at Chain Italian Restaurant!

The first request was that his family must order off the lunch menu, at dinner. That's absolutely fine -- dinner portions are huge! -- but then he wanted to order an item that was specially priced at lunch. I apologized, and explained that the computer wouldn't allow me to ring it in at the lower price at that time of day. (I had to bring him to the computer to prove this!) Cue first tantrum.

We got past that, and the rest of the group continued to order. One dared to order a fountain drink, and was reminded that only water was allowed. Cue awkward exchange as his mid-20's child tries to rationalize the $1.50 item... and fails.

Then one of the party ordered something that did not come with the free salad. I asked if they wanted to "add" the salad ($1.95, at the time). Cue second tantrum because "the salad just comes" and he was NOT paying for more. I apologized again, and explained the restaurant's policy (something about how it was fine for that person to share, but I'd have to charge them if the table needed a refill). He agreed.

All was fine until they of course did need a refill, when another tantrum ensued. After being yelled at multiple times, I was NOT budging -- I generally pretended not to notice if someone shared the salad, but not with this guy! -- and asked how he wanted to handle it. He finally agreed to pay for the refill.

The final tantrum came when I delivered the check. One person had ordered an item which, while listed on the lunch menu, wasn't a lunch portion. All of the lunch items are marked on the check with an "L" and it was noticeably missing upon his careful review. I explained that the correct item was received, showed the menu as proof of price, and explained that there wasn't a smaller portion at lunch. 

By this point, the entire section of the restaurant is watching this grown man throw tantrums about every little thing. It was awkward, but a little bit funny... but I'm perverse like that.

He finally paid and left, with the entire party thanking me and apologizing on the way out. My tip? $1.95, the amount of the salad add-on. Tips from other tables who watched me calmly handle the tantrums more than made up for it... I think I actually came out ahead!
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: CrochetFanatic on February 24, 2013, 01:36:47 PM
I've run into this from time to time.  I don't tend to order dessert, especially if someone else is paying, unless the whole table decides to get it.  But a couple times, I had a "friend" try to shame me into not getting something.

One time stands out in my mind.  I was in my early twenties, and was meeting a co-worker whom I was friendly with so that we could hang out and get some shopping done.  I'm kind of heavy, and she was...I would say 'average', but everyone seems to have a different definition of that.  There was (and still is, come to think of it) a DQ/Orange Julius at the mall, and since I had skipped lunch I was dying for a smoothie.  I suggested that we get something from there, and she seemed surprised.  I was even willing to treat her, but I never got that far.

She said, "I don't really want to.  I'm trying to fit into the next size down, and I've been doing pretty good."

I understood, but replied, "Okay, well, I won't be long.  Where do you want to meet?"  The day had gone pretty much like that; if one of us was going into a store the other wasn't interested in, we would split up and name the next store where we would meet.

She sort of scoffed, and said, "I just said I didn't want to go there."

Now I was a little surprised, and said, "I know.  You don't have to.  But I missed lunch, and I'm getting something to eat."

"Yeah, but something from there?  Do you know how many calories are in that?! I don't need it, and, uh... *looks pointedly at me* you kinda don't either."

Uh, yeah.  >:(  I got my smoothie without answering her, and she sniped at me all the way to our cars because I was "rude" enough to have it in front of her when she was 'trying to be good'.  Just passing by places like that strike me as being a temptation, and I wasn't actually drinking it until we left.  She was just mad that I had it.  I was "unavailable" for mall trips after that, and she trashed me up and down for being "unsupportive".  Trying to tell me what I can and can't eat, and insulting my weight to shame me into obedience?  That never works.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: jaxsue on February 24, 2013, 02:08:25 PM
Water???   He only let you get a water?  A soda is like $2 with free refills !  If I went out to eat with them again, I would ask for a separate check and pay my own way to eat what I want.  If someone is treating, I keep it reasonable, but as an adult, to be told what I will be ordering and only getting to drink water?  Nope.

Yeah, he has control issues. According to friend, he's always been this way. I'm going to try your suggestion next time. It should be interesting.  :)

I'll be looking for news of an unexplained volcanic eruption happening in a chain restaurant.  :D

I'll be happy to oblige when it happens.  :)
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: mmswm on February 24, 2013, 02:38:24 PM
I have a friend whose parents take us out to dinner when they come to town. The dad always brings coupons for chain restaurants and decides where we will eat and what we will eat, based on the coupons. Fine, he's paying, his rules.

What was odd was one time friend and I decided we'd order an app (to share, we said). We'd pay for it. The dad was visibly upset. And when friend oredered a soda instead of a water, dad was upset once again.

Okay, so dad pays, dad makes the rules. Yet when I paid for everyone's meals the dad still controlled everything! The level of control was astounding (yes, he is "Mr. Control" with a lot of things).

I didn't realize you knew my dad! 


Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: weeblewobble on February 24, 2013, 03:02:28 PM
I have a friend whose parents take us out to dinner when they come to town. The dad always brings coupons for chain restaurants and decides where we will eat and what we will eat, based on the coupons. Fine, he's paying, his rules.

What was odd was one time friend and I decided we'd order an app (to share, we said). We'd pay for it. The dad was visibly upset. And when friend oredered a soda instead of a water, dad was upset once again.

Okay, so dad pays, dad makes the rules. Yet when I paid for everyone's meals the dad still controlled everything! The level of control was astounding (yes, he is "Mr. Control" with a lot of things).

Oh, I waited on someone like this once, when I was a server at Chain Italian Restaurant!

The first request was that his family must order off the lunch menu, at dinner. That's absolutely fine -- dinner portions are huge! -- but then he wanted to order an item that was specially priced at lunch. I apologized, and explained that the computer wouldn't allow me to ring it in at the lower price at that time of day. (I had to bring him to the computer to prove this!) Cue first tantrum.

We got past that, and the rest of the group continued to order. One dared to order a fountain drink, and was reminded that only water was allowed. Cue awkward exchange as his mid-20's child tries to rationalize the $1.50 item... and fails.

Then one of the party ordered something that did not come with the free salad. I asked if they wanted to "add" the salad ($1.95, at the time). Cue second tantrum because "the salad just comes" and he was NOT paying for more. I apologized again, and explained the restaurant's policy (something about how it was fine for that person to share, but I'd have to charge them if the table needed a refill). He agreed.

All was fine until they of course did need a refill, when another tantrum ensued. After being yelled at multiple times, I was NOT budging -- I generally pretended not to notice if someone shared the salad, but not with this guy! -- and asked how he wanted to handle it. He finally agreed to pay for the refill.

The final tantrum came when I delivered the check. One person had ordered an item which, while listed on the lunch menu, wasn't a lunch portion. All of the lunch items are marked on the check with an "L" and it was noticeably missing upon his careful review. I explained that the correct item was received, showed the menu as proof of price, and explained that there wasn't a smaller portion at lunch. 

By this point, the entire section of the restaurant is watching this grown man throw tantrums about every little thing. It was awkward, but a little bit funny... but I'm perverse like that.

He finally paid and left, with the entire party thanking me and apologizing on the way out. My tip? $1.95, the amount of the salad add-on. Tips from other tables who watched me calmly handle the tantrums more than made up for it... I think I actually came out ahead!

Ugh, I got stressed out just reading that.  I can't imagine having to live with/spend lots of time with someone who was that joyless and controlling.

I complain about my dad occasionally, but I will say that he really enjoys taking all us kids/grandkids out to dinner and making it as enjoyable as possible.  Appetizers, dessert, cocktails with funny names, he doesn't care as long as everybody at the table is laughing and having a good time.  We didn't have a lot of money when I was growing up, so we didn't eat out a lot.  I think he's trying to make up for that now.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: mmswm on February 24, 2013, 03:11:59 PM
My mother runs into food dictators more often than she should on account of my little brother.  He has FAS and neurological complications from heavy prenatal exposure to cocaine (he's adopted).  For whatever reason, keeping him on whole milk products instead of the reduced fat versions helps him with his behavior issues.  Even though we can't explain it, it works, so she keeps him on whole milk.  I was really surprised at the number of comments she gets about how "bad" whole milk is for him.  Ummm, nope.  I've seen the difference it makes.  It's bad for everybody he has to interact with if he doesn't get the extra milk fat!
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: kherbert05 on February 24, 2013, 03:19:37 PM
I've felt like the food dictator a couple of times. Deserts are a big risk for cross contamination with peanuts. Lots of American Chocolate has peanut oil, the cookies might have pecans - but what brand were they shelled in a factor that also shells peanuts. They have Ice Cream - are they serving Tin Roof ice cream with the same scoop they serve my vanilla ice cream. The pie has gram cracker crust - what brand because one brand has peanut oil. I don't want to go through that line of questioning the server. So I decline.


Thing is when I decline - other people decline to "be polite". Honestly I don't mind please have your desert.


Now with family it is easier - we go to a local ice cream parlor that is safe for me and Cam. Or we just go buy Blue Bell.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: TootsNYC on February 24, 2013, 04:26:19 PM
Now the most I can give to my exBFFs pov is to acknowledge that if you are done and ready to go it can be frustrating to have someone lingering over dessert if you both came in the same car - but I think the mature thing would be to just say so and maybe ask them to either get it to go or maybe say they could get it next time, instead of aggressively trying to talk them out of doing what they want just because it inconviences you.


See, I think that would be wrong too. Just because you are the driver doesn't mean you get to boss people around. "You can get it next time." No, I'm getting it now, and you can nicely sit and spend the time *with me*, because wasn't the point of this to spent time *with me*?

And if you are the driver, one thing you have to be able to deal with is the idea that you don't get to completely dictate when the event wraps up, etc.

You've got a reason you need to leave now and it would inconvenience you *greatly* (ie, not just "I'm 'done' with this place/event")? Perfectly understandable--speak up and explain, and I'll join you in condemning the friend who would put her dessert over your logistics.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: Zizi-K on February 24, 2013, 05:03:05 PM
My mom is a little bit of a food dictator, but thankfully she will laugh at herself when she's called on it. She's more petite than everyone else in our family, and she's constantly trying to watch her weight. It is also true that she does tend to eat less than everyone else, but it is also true that she fills up on carbs (bread, appetizers, breadsticks, etc) so she's not really that hungry when the actual meal rolls around. So, when we're at a restaurant, she will often either want to split a meal with someone or, more often, she will decide to "just get a salad" and "have a bite of what everyone else is having." Restaurant potions are so huge that even that her expecting us to share is really not a problem. The problems arise when she starts negotiating what everyone will order so she can have "a taste" of all her favorite things. Also, she tends not to eat red meat out, so she will push us towards the fish and chicken entrees. If we've decided to split an entree, we already know what her preferences are, so it's not such a big deal, but there have been times when she might as well have a conductor's baton in her hand - that's how much she's tried to orchestrate the meal. Now, as then, we used a combination of politely ignoring it and saying exasperatedly "Why don't you just order your own meal?!?!?"
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: Venus193 on February 24, 2013, 06:11:16 PM
A certain ex-boyfriend later was reported as having taken a steak off his date's plate in a restaurant, saying "Women shouldn't eat meat."  He's lucky I wasn't there.

A former friend of a friend didn't eat in front of other people and often ditzed out of eating on her own.  This affected her attention span, memory, and other behaviors.  I wonder whether she had a parent or older brother whose perception of the relationship women have with food should be the one foisted on Scarlett O'Hara.

Anyone who tries to tell me I'm eating too much or that anything is forbidden very quickly ends up on my Former Friends list.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: weeblewobble on February 24, 2013, 06:28:30 PM
My mom is a little bit of a food dictator, but thankfully she will laugh at herself when she's called on it. She's more petite than everyone else in our family, and she's constantly trying to watch her weight. It is also true that she does tend to eat less than everyone else, but it is also true that she fills up on carbs (bread, appetizers, breadsticks, etc) so she's not really that hungry when the actual meal rolls around. So, when we're at a restaurant, she will often either want to split a meal with someone or, more often, she will decide to "just get a salad" and "have a bite of what everyone else is having." Restaurant potions are so huge that even that her expecting us to share is really not a problem. The problems arise when she starts negotiating what everyone will order so she can have "a taste" of all her favorite things. Also, she tends not to eat red meat out, so she will push us towards the fish and chicken entrees. If we've decided to split an entree, we already know what her preferences are, so it's not such a big deal, but there have been times when she might as well have a conductor's baton in her hand - that's how much she's tried to orchestrate the meal. Now, as then, we used a combination of politely ignoring it and saying exasperatedly "Why don't you just order your own meal?!?!?"

I would have a real problem with this.  She shouldn't try to passive aggressively control your choices to benefit herself.  That sounds really selfish.  You're a much more patient person than I am.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: weeblewobble on February 24, 2013, 06:32:17 PM
A certain ex-boyfriend later was reported as having taken a steak off his date's plate in a restaurant, saying "Women shouldn't eat meat."  He's lucky I wasn't there.


Please tell me that she said, "Misogynists should eat alone." And left him at the restaurant.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: Zizi-K on February 24, 2013, 06:47:59 PM
My mom is a little bit of a food dictator, but thankfully she will laugh at herself when she's called on it. She's more petite than everyone else in our family, and she's constantly trying to watch her weight. It is also true that she does tend to eat less than everyone else, but it is also true that she fills up on carbs (bread, appetizers, breadsticks, etc) so she's not really that hungry when the actual meal rolls around. So, when we're at a restaurant, she will often either want to split a meal with someone or, more often, she will decide to "just get a salad" and "have a bite of what everyone else is having." Restaurant potions are so huge that even that her expecting us to share is really not a problem. The problems arise when she starts negotiating what everyone will order so she can have "a taste" of all her favorite things. Also, she tends not to eat red meat out, so she will push us towards the fish and chicken entrees. If we've decided to split an entree, we already know what her preferences are, so it's not such a big deal, but there have been times when she might as well have a conductor's baton in her hand - that's how much she's tried to orchestrate the meal. Now, as then, we used a combination of politely ignoring it and saying exasperatedly "Why don't you just order your own meal?!?!?"

I would have a real problem with this.  She shouldn't try to passive aggressively control your choices to benefit herself.  That sounds really selfish.  You're a much more patient person than I am.

Ha - well, I guess it's because it's not all that passive - she's pretty blatant about it. But to her credit she will not keep insisting or sulk when we want to do something else. And it's also not all the time...I think certain restaurants bring it out, now that I think about it.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: ladyknight1 on February 24, 2013, 06:54:23 PM
My mother runs into food dictators more often than she should on account of my little brother.  He has FAS and neurological complications from heavy prenatal exposure to cocaine (he's adopted).  For whatever reason, keeping him on whole milk products instead of the reduced fat versions helps him with his behavior issues.  Even though we can't explain it, it works, so she keeps him on whole milk.  I was really surprised at the number of comments she gets about how "bad" whole milk is for him.  Ummm, nope.  I've seen the difference it makes.  It's bad for everybody he has to interact with if he doesn't get the extra milk fat!

Waiters always try to give DS Diet Coke or Pepsi when we go out. That is really the only time he has soda, and he is in excellent shape. No matter what he orders to drink, he ends up with diet half the time and has to ask for a re-do.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on February 24, 2013, 06:55:55 PM
I remember going out with another couple and the poor wife couldn't win when it came to ordering.   If she ordered a good side meal her husband would make some smart remark "Wow, you must actually have an appetite for once!" or "Gee that's a lot of food, do you think you can actually finish that?"

If she ordered lightly he gave her a hard time for being "just like all women who order light to look like they're being dainty and ladylike, then eat off their man's plate."  ::)  I wasn't even that hungry but I made a point of ordering a burger so big I could barely get my mouth around it.  I couldn't finish but I brought it home for later.  And she ordered light anyway and proved him wrong by not even being able to finish the light meal she ordered and not touching his plate even when he pushed it at her.

They're getting divorced, and she's said she doesn't know why she didn't do it long before now.

My parents were food dictators too, of the "Do you know how many calories are in that?" or "Do you know what's in that?" One week we were on vacation with them and when it was time for us to leave to meet our plane, I told DH as we left "when we get to the airport and get through security, I want a big greasy McDonald's breakfast sandwich." LOL Nothing gets me craving unhealthy food like a food dictator or someone who is sanctimonious about healthy food. 
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: doodlemor on February 24, 2013, 07:00:55 PM
My mother runs into food dictators more often than she should on account of my little brother.  He has FAS and neurological complications from heavy prenatal exposure to cocaine (he's adopted).  For whatever reason, keeping him on whole milk products instead of the reduced fat versions helps him with his behavior issues.  Even though we can't explain it, it works, so she keeps him on whole milk.  I was really surprised at the number of comments she gets about how "bad" whole milk is for him.  Ummm, nope.  I've seen the difference it makes.  It's bad for everybody he has to interact with if he doesn't get the extra milk fat!
Slight threadjack here.....

As one who thinks that the most natural forms of food are probably the healthiest, I find this information fascinating.

I taught school in a rural district in an area with a number of dairy farms.  I could always tell which children lived on farms and drank unpasteurized milk from the cooler in the barn.  They had the most beautiful, glowing complexions.

Back to the food dictators.

I think that the person who posted in the other thread that food is a dominance issue is spot on.  I would love to read about food issues among other apes.  Perhaps Jane Goodall could make some interesting observations watching humans, too.



Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: ladyknight1 on February 24, 2013, 07:01:00 PM
After reading the posts on this thread, I can name less than 10 people I regularly see and dine with that don't have food dictatorship issues.

My MIL and FIL both do, even when it is our treat. I enjoy a cocktail when we dine out, and I expect to pay for it, but that is apparently beyond the pale. We often order an appetizer to share, and we each order an entree. MIL and FIL love to order the smallest portion, and behave as if they should be put on the list for martyrs. They will only order water to drink, then shoot dirty looks at everyone else. My sisters and mother have a complex about ordering a moderately priced meal as well, then end up unhappy with their food complete with sighs and complaints.

I got over that a long time ago, and I now order what I want regardless.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: Venus193 on February 24, 2013, 07:07:42 PM
A certain ex-boyfriend later was reported as having taken a steak off his date's plate in a restaurant, saying "Women shouldn't eat meat."  He's lucky I wasn't there.


Please tell me that she said, "Misogynists should eat alone." And left him at the restaurant.

No; according to a reliable witness she was too stunned.  However, she stopped dating him.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: suzieQ on February 24, 2013, 08:17:34 PM
My mother runs into food dictators more often than she should on account of my little brother.  He has FAS and neurological complications from heavy prenatal exposure to cocaine (he's adopted).  For whatever reason, keeping him on whole milk products instead of the reduced fat versions helps him with his behavior issues.  Even though we can't explain it, it works, so she keeps him on whole milk.  I was really surprised at the number of comments she gets about how "bad" whole milk is for him.  Ummm, nope.  I've seen the difference it makes.  It's bad for everybody he has to interact with if he doesn't get the extra milk fat!

Waiters always try to give DS Diet Coke or Pepsi when we go out. That is really the only time he has soda, and he is in excellent shape. No matter what he orders to drink, he ends up with diet half the time and has to ask for a re-do.

We have the opposite problem. DS has to have Diet because he is insulin dependent and you wouldn't believe how fast regular coke shoots his BG up! I have to test or taste cokes when we order at a restaurant, because waiters seem to think a teen shouldn't drink diet.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: learningtofly on February 25, 2013, 09:25:53 AM
It took time to get DH to order appetizers and desserts in a restaurant.  His parents never order appetizers, ever.  Apparently no one could be hungry enough for an appetizer and a meal.  His Dad usually just has ice cream for dessert and unless it's a pretty unusual flavor that the restaurant makes themselves he also doesn't order dessert out.  I'm still not comfortable ordering extras when we're out with them. 

Growing up if we were going out then it was an occasion and we would order soup/appetizer, meal, and dessert.  We were out!  And I love my mom's cooking, but she wasn't making creme brulee at home.  DH learned that sometimes that was the point of ordering dessert out-to get something you don't make yourself.  He's more comfortable ordering now.  So's BIL  ;D
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: Diane AKA Traska on February 25, 2013, 10:27:10 AM
A certain ex-boyfriend later was reported as having taken a steak off his date's plate in a restaurant, saying "Women shouldn't eat meat."  He's lucky I wasn't there.

A former friend of a friend didn't eat in front of other people and often ditzed out of eating on her own.  This affected her attention span, memory, and other behaviors.  I wonder whether she had a parent or older brother whose perception of the relationship women have with food should be the one foisted on Scarlett O'Hara.

Anyone who tries to tell me I'm eating too much or that anything is forbidden very quickly ends up on my Former Friends list.

"Okay, here's how this is going to work.  You are never... NEVER... going to touch my meat again.  And rest assured, I am never going to touch your meat again, either."

One of those rare times Traska, EvilTraska, and SnarkyTraska all agree on the wording.    >:D
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on February 25, 2013, 10:35:07 AM
A certain ex-boyfriend later was reported as having taken a steak off his date's plate in a restaurant, saying "Women shouldn't eat meat."  He's lucky I wasn't there.

A former friend of a friend didn't eat in front of other people and often ditzed out of eating on her own.  This affected her attention span, memory, and other behaviors.  I wonder whether she had a parent or older brother whose perception of the relationship women have with food should be the one foisted on Scarlett O'Hara.

Anyone who tries to tell me I'm eating too much or that anything is forbidden very quickly ends up on my Former Friends list.

"Okay, here's how this is going to work.  You are never... NEVER... going to touch my meat again.  And rest assured, I am never going to touch your meat again, either."

One of those rare times Traska, EvilTraska, and SnarkyTraska all agree on the wording.    >:D

Bwahaahahaha!!!!!

Only time a friend got food dictator-ish with me was when she thought I was underweight (well in all truth, I was) and insisted I eat more than a salad at lunch.  That was at a time when I was on ADD meds that suppressed my appetite and I had a hard time making myself eat. 
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: Minmom3 on February 25, 2013, 11:10:50 AM
Some meds can have a HUGE affect on appetite.  I don't know why Doctors don't warn more about that, or if it's because it isn't a consistent reaction from patient to patient.  My MIL was on coumadin for a while, and after a while, we realized that her appetite was GONE.  She's get one of those dinky individual lunch pizzas, and would have 2 bites and be finished.  She dropped in weight from the 140's down to 87 pounds.... She looked like a barely ambulatory corpse, it was awful.  For a short while, she was on Prozac, which brought back her appetite, but once she found out about the Prozac, she refused it, and the weight gain was over.  I think she was around 100 lb. for the rest of her life - about 3 years.

On the other hand, my mother was on coumadin for a few years, and it did nothing to her appetite - she's old and hardly eats anything.  Her appetite hasn't gone up since she's been off it either.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: mbbored on February 25, 2013, 11:19:44 AM
A certain ex-boyfriend later was reported as having taken a steak off his date's plate in a restaurant, saying "Women shouldn't eat meat."  He's lucky I wasn't there.

A former friend of a friend didn't eat in front of other people and often ditzed out of eating on her own.  This affected her attention span, memory, and other behaviors.  I wonder whether she had a parent or older brother whose perception of the relationship women have with food should be the one foisted on Scarlett O'Hara.

Anyone who tries to tell me I'm eating too much or that anything is forbidden very quickly ends up on my Former Friends list.

"Okay, here's how this is going to work.  You are never... NEVER... going to touch my meat again.  And rest assured, I am never going to touch your meat again, either."

One of those rare times Traska, EvilTraska, and SnarkyTraska all agree on the wording.    >:D

Pre E-Hell, a new boyfriend's mother came to meet me and took us out to dinner at a nice restaurant. My entree looked way nicer than boyfriend's, so he reached over to take mine off my plate without even asking. I put my fork on the back of his hand as it was grabbing my dinner. He looked confused and asked why I was poking his hand. I said "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't notice your hand was touching my food! I mean, why would it even be there, when this is my plate and yours is all the way over there?" After boyfriend's mother stopped laughing, she seriously scolded her son for his appalling manners.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on February 25, 2013, 11:25:24 AM
To be fair, I was warned by a doctor about that side effect, and when I was first diagnosed with ADD, I was getting "fat" according to my parents. (5'2" and about 135lbs) and I believed them so I thought "Oh good, that'll help me lose weight. I think I dropped 20 lbs in less than 2 months.  It might have even been less than a month as I think I started on them in October and by Thanksgiving I was getting praise for how thin I'd gotten. 

I've stopped taking the meds (one doc told me, after doing an evaluation, that I rated so low on the scale that I really didn't need meds, and in all truth I don't miss them) and am now at 130lbs and am told I look good and healthy. :)

And any food dictators are ignored. Though if MIL encourages me to get a dessert because she's getting one, she's allowed to dictate a bit. ;)
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: siamesecat2965 on February 25, 2013, 11:43:06 AM
Thankfully my parents, and now my mom, and me, all enjoy good food. and when we eat out, we'd share an appetizer, or we'd each get our own, or soup, or salad, our own meals, and maybe dessert. But there was never any "policing" about who ordered what. And we all love to eat, and try new things, so inevitably, we'd all end up tasting whatever anyone else had!  And that includes wine and cocktails!

My mom has commented on my weight which is more than it should be, but if I choose to order dessert now, she could care less. And she usually helps me eat it too!!!!
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: BeagleMommy on February 25, 2013, 01:05:43 PM
I still get this now and then.  Anyone who knows about my diabetes (which is just about everyone) knows I'm pretty careful regarding my diet.  However, I know how to adjust my carb intake so I can splurge at one meal if I cut down at another.  I've been doing it for decades.

I have one friend I refuse to go out to dinner with because she scrutinizes everything on my plate.  Jeez, if I want pasta for dinner I will darn well have it.  Any time she invites me to dinner I will say "No thanks, and you know why.".  She's fun to hang out with otherwise, just not around food.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: NyaChan on February 25, 2013, 02:29:47 PM
I may have told this story before, but here it goes anyways:

My parents were on vacation and left my sister and I at my Great Uncle & Aunt's along with my Grandmother to take care of us.  All of my cousins on both sides were always bone skinny growing up while my sister and were "normal" - but to our relatives, we were considered fat.  At every meal, if my grandma considered us to have eaten enough, she would take the serving utensils from each plate and wipe it clean (often in her mouth!) so that we couldn't take any more food.  My Aunt did protest sometimes and try to sneak us treats when my grandma wasn't looking, but my Great Uncle thought the sun rose and set with my grandma (his little sister) and would get very angry with his wife if she didn't cater to her every whim.  When my parents came back, they were surprised to find that their kids had lost weight.   
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: Venus193 on February 25, 2013, 02:33:32 PM
BeagleMommy, have you switched to the high fiber/extra protein pasta?  Interestingly, it even tastes better.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: siamesecat2965 on February 25, 2013, 02:53:05 PM
I still get this now and then.  Anyone who knows about my diabetes (which is just about everyone) knows I'm pretty careful regarding my diet.  However, I know how to adjust my carb intake so I can splurge at one meal if I cut down at another.  I've been doing it for decades.

I have one friend I refuse to go out to dinner with because she scrutinizes everything on my plate.  Jeez, if I want pasta for dinner I will darn well have it.  Any time she invites me to dinner I will say "No thanks, and you know why.".  She's fun to hang out with otherwise, just not around food.

I hate that. I learned my lesson the first time around on WW. This was on their old old plan, so many fruits, breads, etc. per day. And if you chose carefully and planned, you COULD eat almost anything. So once a week or so, I'd have a slice of pizza and a large salad for lunch. I can't tell you how many people felt the need to comment on how i shouldn't or couldn't have that!  So I learned not to tell anyone I was on it!
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: zyrs on February 25, 2013, 04:51:42 PM
When I was a child we would go to McDonald's or A&W.  No matter which one we went to, we ate in the car.

If it was A&W, the youngest 2 got the Baby meal, the eldest 2 got either the baby meal or the teen meal if my father was in a good mood.  Mom got the mom meal, dad got the dad meal.

If it was McDonald's - everyone but dad got a small drink, hamburger and small fries.  If you wanted a large fries, you had to give up either the drink or the burger.  if you wanted a large drink you had to give up the burger or the fries, if you wanted a cheeseburger, you had to give up either the drink or the fries.  If you wanted a milkshake that was all you got and you were made to feel selfish and rude.

I've noticed that my siblings and I tend to try and force food on people if we go to McDonald's.  "You sure you don't want a shake?  How's about another apple pie?  You sure?  We can get you more food, it's fine."
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: Diane AKA Traska on February 25, 2013, 05:21:25 PM
The thing that galls me about food dictators is this:  Food is one of the few things that we have in common.  We *all* have to eat.  It's one of the best social building activities, and there's a certain joy in seeing someone enjoy a really good meal.

It's akin to having someone force you to go to sleep, force you to wake up, and dictate exactly how long you'll sleep, and your energy levels be damned.  Further, they'll tell you what bed to sleep in, and even what bedclothes to use.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: mmswm on February 25, 2013, 05:25:07 PM
When I was a child we would go to McDonald's or A&W.  No matter which one we went to, we ate in the car.

If it was A&W, the youngest 2 got the Baby meal, the eldest 2 got either the baby meal or the teen meal if my father was in a good mood.  Mom got the mom meal, dad got the dad meal.

If it was McDonald's - everyone but dad got a small drink, hamburger and small fries.  If you wanted a large fries, you had to give up either the drink or the burger.  if you wanted a large drink you had to give up the burger or the fries, if you wanted a cheeseburger, you had to give up either the drink or the fries.  If you wanted a milkshake that was all you got and you were made to feel selfish and rude.

I've noticed that my siblings and I tend to try and force food on people if we go to McDonald's.  "You sure you don't want a shake?  How's about another apple pie?  You sure?  We can get you more food, it's fine."

I'm the same way when it comes to sodas and juices.  We were never allowed to drink anything but water when we went out to eat growing up.  Now, sometimes when finances are tight, and I'm taking the boys out for a treat, we'll all get waters, but when things were good, and I was forever asking "are you sure you don't want a soda?"
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: DottyG on February 25, 2013, 05:39:05 PM
Dang zyrs, was there a color-coded key that went along with that?!  I'd be so confused as to what I could get or not get or what I was trading in to get something or whatever!

Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: zyrs on February 25, 2013, 10:50:54 PM
Dang zyrs, was there a color-coded key that went along with that?!  I'd be so confused as to what I could get or not get or what I was trading in to get something or whatever!

It just became second nature after a while. 
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: Asharah on February 25, 2013, 11:32:54 PM
I may have told this story before, but here it goes anyways:

My parents were on vacation and left my sister and I at my Great Uncle & Aunt's along with my Grandmother to take care of us.  All of my cousins on both sides were always bone skinny growing up while my sister and were "normal" - but to our relatives, we were considered fat.  At every meal, if my grandma considered us to have eaten enough, she would take the serving utensils from each plate and wipe it clean (often in her mouth!) so that we couldn't take any more food.  My Aunt did protest sometimes and try to sneak us treats when my grandma wasn't looking, but my Great Uncle thought the sun rose and set with my grandma (his little sister) and would get very angry with his wife if she didn't cater to her every whim.  When my parents came back, they were surprised to find that their kids had lost weight.
Please tell me your parents NEVER left you there AGAIN! That is horrible!
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: Nora on February 26, 2013, 04:28:10 AM
I may have told this story before, but here it goes anyways:

My parents were on vacation and left my sister and I at my Great Uncle & Aunt's along with my Grandmother to take care of us.  All of my cousins on both sides were always bone skinny growing up while my sister and were "normal" - but to our relatives, we were considered fat.  At every meal, if my grandma considered us to have eaten enough, she would take the serving utensils from each plate and wipe it clean (often in her mouth!) so that we couldn't take any more food.  My Aunt did protest sometimes and try to sneak us treats when my grandma wasn't looking, but my Great Uncle thought the sun rose and set with my grandma (his little sister) and would get very angry with his wife if she didn't cater to her every whim.  When my parents came back, they were surprised to find that their kids had lost weight.
Please tell me your parents NEVER left you there AGAIN! That is horrible!

It really really is!
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on February 26, 2013, 05:41:17 AM
I agree, that's awful!

I remember being on vacation when I was 13, I think and for breakfast I served myself a bowl of granola and sat down at the breakfast bar to start eating.  My dad snatched it out from under me just before I was about to eat and threw part of it away so I would have a more acceptable serving size.  Made me FURIOUS and I refused to eat the rest of it, or anything else for breakfast.   My folks were convinced I was getting chubby that year. 

I think I did gain about 5 pounds that year but hello, puberty?  The weight was showing up in my abdomen, hips and thighs so the usual places where girls start to fill out.  Yet I was hearing "You're getting chubby, look at that extra fat there!"  ::) It's no wonder I still had some lingering body image issues into my 30's.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: cabbageweevil on February 26, 2013, 08:47:31 AM
The thing that galls me about food dictators is this:  Food is one of the few things that we have in common.  We *all* have to eat.  It's one of the best social building activities, and there's a certain joy in seeing someone enjoy a really good meal.

It's akin to having someone force you to go to sleep, force you to wake up, and dictate exactly how long you'll sleep, and your energy levels be damned.  Further, they'll tell you what bed to sleep in, and even what bedclothes to use.

I'd agree with you re food; but -- in much of the Western world, at any rate -- there is a fair-sized minority who find little or no pleasure / interest in food, are very strongly in the "eat-to-live-not-live-to-eat" camp, and tend to be vocal about their opinions on this issue, and sure of their rightness and righteousness on said issue -- and they dismiss and despise food's social aspects. Many food dictators, are people who are of this turn of mind. (I sometimes feel that I run into more than my fair share of such folk.)

Perhaps when the food dictators have universally triumphed, their next front to tackle will indeed be the sleeping one...
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: ladyknight1 on February 26, 2013, 08:52:14 AM
At my workplace, we have a monthly birthday celebration. 6 of us have volunteered to bring something when it is our turn, so we each have two months a year. Half of the contributions are homemade and half are store bought. It works out well. Most of the time, the celebration food is a dessert, but we have had chip and dip parties and today, we had bagels and cream cheese.

S works here and has major issues with food, she also over shares personal health information and tries to "educate" everyone else.

S comes in the break room and starts talking about "how it has been so long since she had a bagel. Bagels are so high on the glycemic index. Diabetics shouldn't eat bagels" and goes on and on... I left the room. I have distanced myself from S personally because I don't need to hear how many WW points she has left, or what she ate for every single meal, or what she is craving. She spoiled the mood this morning, and three people asked her to stop with her monologue. I hope she retires this year.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: Venus193 on February 26, 2013, 09:05:00 AM
That goes hand in hand with people who "cheat" on their diets and whine about it afterward.  A friend of mine who is diabetic went to a picnic and whined about how she should not have had a tablespoon of potato salad.  A tablespoon.

I have no patience for this.  If you truly believe you shouldn't eat something, then don't.  A tablespoon of potato salad is not a cyanide pill.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: ladyknight1 on February 26, 2013, 09:14:26 AM
I am a type II diabetic. I keep myself in control with medication, diet, and exercise. I never drink soda or juice, I watch my carbs, I eat small meals throughout the day. I take care of this myself, and don't broadcast to everyone.

There are only two people that I counsel regarding their diet choices, and both were diagnosed after I was and they look to me as a mentor. I do not mention these issues in company. I detest those who criticize what I eat. It is between my physician and myself. If I make a poor choice, I will pay for it.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: alkira6 on February 26, 2013, 09:18:27 AM
*snip*

S comes in the break room and starts talking about "how it has been so long since she had a bagel. Bagels are so high on the glycemic index. Diabetics shouldn't eat bagels" and goes on and on... I left the room. I have distanced myself from S personally because I don't need to hear how many WW points she has left, or what she ate for every single meal, or what she is craving. She spoiled the mood this morning, and three people asked her to stop with her monologue. I hope she retires this year.

I am at the point where I call the chronic complainers out on this. I firmly believe that there is no need for a nice, fun atmosphere to be ruined because of one person's bad attitude.  I also have no problem excluding these people or denying them access to a celebration and telling them why. Nicely and not rudely, but truthfully.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: siamesecat2965 on February 26, 2013, 09:28:34 AM
*snip*

S comes in the break room and starts talking about "how it has been so long since she had a bagel. Bagels are so high on the glycemic index. Diabetics shouldn't eat bagels" and goes on and on... I left the room. I have distanced myself from S personally because I don't need to hear how many WW points she has left, or what she ate for every single meal, or what she is craving. She spoiled the mood this morning, and three people asked her to stop with her monologue. I hope she retires this year.

I am at the point where I call the chronic complainers out on this. I firmly believe that there is no need for a nice, fun atmosphere to be ruined because of one person's bad attitude.  I also have no problem excluding these people or denying them access to a celebration and telling them why. Nicely and not rudely, but truthfully.

Then there are the ones who agonize over every. single. bite. of. food. they contemplate putting in their mouths. I still remember a CW who went on for about 15 minutes as to whether or not the very small (think smaller than an oreo) cookie was worth eating or not. Meanwhile, I had happily stuffed 3 or 4 into my own piehole. 

we have celebrations all the time here, breakfast, lunch, etc. breakfast is usually bagels, danish, but there is always fruit. Lunch maybe pizza or sandwiches, but again, there is always salad, so you can eat as "healthy" or not as you feel like.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: ladyknight1 on February 26, 2013, 09:35:20 AM
Thank you, I wonder if the chronic complainers have any idea how they are seen from another's perspective.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: Seraphia on February 26, 2013, 09:42:48 AM
*snip*

S comes in the break room and starts talking about "how it has been so long since she had a bagel. Bagels are so high on the glycemic index. Diabetics shouldn't eat bagels" and goes on and on... I left the room. I have distanced myself from S personally because I don't need to hear how many WW points she has left, or what she ate for every single meal, or what she is craving. She spoiled the mood this morning, and three people asked her to stop with her monologue. I hope she retires this year.

I am at the point where I call the chronic complainers out on this. I firmly believe that there is no need for a nice, fun atmosphere to be ruined because of one person's bad attitude.  I also have no problem excluding these people or denying them access to a celebration and telling them why. Nicely and not rudely, but truthfully.

Then there are the ones who agonize over every. single. bite. of. food. they contemplate putting in their mouths. I still remember a CW who went on for about 15 minutes as to whether or not the very small (think smaller than an oreo) cookie was worth eating or not. Meanwhile, I had happily stuffed 3 or 4 into my own piehole. 

we have celebrations all the time here, breakfast, lunch, etc. breakfast is usually bagels, danish, but there is always fruit. Lunch maybe pizza or sandwiches, but again, there is always salad, so you can eat as "healthy" or not as you feel like.

We had one like that in our office before she changed jobs. Everything that could be turned to her topic of choice (diet/exercise) was. Your chair broke? She was using an exercise ball. Gas prices getting high? She saved money by running to work - she ran four extra miles yesterday too. Deciding where to go to lunch? She couldn't go *there* the food had soooo much sodium. You were having noodles for lunch? Oh, she needed much more protein than just noodles. On and on and on. I ran into her a while back, and she asked if she was missing anything in the office. I tried to make a joke "well, it's gotten more crowded in our area, and there were bagels in the break room on Thursday." "Ohh," she said. "I never ate those bagels anyway. Bagels aren't healthy."

I don't miss her.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: Diane AKA Traska on February 26, 2013, 10:18:59 AM
Passive aggressive, but I would be sorely tempted to respond with "I feel you... these bagels are so *good*.  I don't know if I should stop at just one, or have a second.  Ooooh, I really should have a second..."
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: DottyG on February 26, 2013, 12:34:25 PM
Quote
Perhaps when the food dictators have universally triumphed, their next front to tackle will indeed be the sleeping one...

They've already started.

I'm a night person.  I've always been a night person.  I don't want to be anything OTHER than a night person.  Do not wake me in the morning and think I'm going to be chipper and alert.  It's not going to happen.

Yet I am told, repeatedly, that I MUST become a morning person and that staying up late is my greatest sin of all and that I'm so wrong for not conforming to the "get up and shine" morning person routine.

I have a coworker who's at work by 7:00.  Yes, he gets to leave at 4:00.  And I'm still there.  BUT, I slept a little later in the morning.  Plus, I'm at work at a time that helps those employees we have in other time zones; I was able to train someone in the Phillipines because I was still around when it was morning his time.

Seriously. Give it a break.  Get your own dang self up at any time you please.  But leave me alone.

Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: weeblewobble on February 26, 2013, 12:39:48 PM
I agree, that's awful!

I remember being on vacation when I was 13, I think and for breakfast I served myself a bowl of granola and sat down at the breakfast bar to start eating.  My dad snatched it out from under me just before I was about to eat and threw part of it away so I would have a more acceptable serving size.  Made me FURIOUS and I refused to eat the rest of it, or anything else for breakfast.   My folks were convinced I was getting chubby that year. 

I think I did gain about 5 pounds that year but hello, puberty?  The weight was showing up in my abdomen, hips and thighs so the usual places where girls start to fill out.  Yet I was hearing "You're getting chubby, look at that extra fat there!"  ::) It's no wonder I still had some lingering body image issues into my 30's.

Ugh.  I wish parents, particularly fathers, realized what sort of damage they are doing to their daughters when they express hostility or disgust/disdain for their pubescent daughters' developments.  It's something the girls can't help, so they feel trapped in their own bodies, out of control and frightened by changes that are already pretty disconcerting.  Their parents' expressing their anxiety over the changes by making the daughter feel even MORE paranoid about her body, that's just wrong.

My little sister developed really early.  I was an extreme late bloomer, so my parents were completely unprepared for this "wild recessive gene" to kick in and put my sister in a full-fledged ladies support garment by the time she was in eighth grade.  My dad, bless him, was SO uncomfortable discussing anything related to our bodies, but he never made Sis feel bad about herself.

On the other hand, a mother involved in the booster club for the high school activity Sis and I were both involved in grilled my mom about what Mom planned to do to about Sis's "problem."  Mom described her plans for extra supportive sports bras until the conversation progress and Mom realized this woman, Lady Dictator, expected my mom to put Sis on a diet to starve the curves off of Sis.   

It shouldn't have surprised Mom.  This was the same woman who accompanied our whole group to our annual weeklong summer training camp*, which involved strenuous activity in the hot sun for up to eight hours a day.  Lady Dictactor insisted on rooming with her daughter - who was not rail thin, but certainly not fat - instead of letting her room with her friends.  We soon realized that we never saw LD Daughter at meal times.  Lady Dictator had put her daughter on a strict diet limited to "meal replacement shakes."  She roomed with LD Daughter to make sure that she didn't sneak food.  Not to mention, Lady Dictator discouraged her daughter from drinking at water breaks because she didn't want her to ruin the slimming effect of sweating out the excess water weight... you know, DEHYDRATION. 

Daughter was really sick a few days into the camp and our program director took Lady Dictator aside to have a hushed, but very adamant conversation none of us were able to hear.  Suddenly, Daughter was allowed to eat meals and drink as much as she wanted, while Lady Dictator looked on with a pinched, sour lemon expression.  She lamented that her daughter had ruined all of the progress she'd made, pigging out like that. Yep, having a whole sandwich at lunch after working out in the sun for hours is really indulgent.  ::)

I really wish I could say LD Daughter broke away as an adult and is in control of her own life.  But I've seen them recently and her mother has her pressed just as firmly under her thumb as ever.  Daughter is in her mid-thirties and very thin, but seems absolutely miserable.  :-\

*Pretty normal.  Lots of parents accompanied our group, which involved dozens of students.  But the parents usually roomed together, allowing the kids to share quarters and bond.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: DottyG on February 26, 2013, 12:43:24 PM
:(

That poor girl.

Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on February 26, 2013, 01:06:19 PM
That poor kid.  I wonder if the mother was threatened with having someone call social services on her or something, and that's why she backed off. 

And oh Weeble it wasn't just my dad, it was my mother mostly who pointed out where I was getting chubby, criticized friends who had "let themselves go" or male friends they knew in college who married beautiful women who "let themselves go" after they had "snagged a man."  She used to tease one of her little sisters for being chubby and then when the middle sister went on WW and got lost weight, they both turned on the baby sister, trying to improve her and I don't know what she said but it was often some form of "get lost" :)  Last I heard from my aunt, (and godmother) she barely speaks to either of her two older sisters and I don't blame her.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: Asharah on February 26, 2013, 01:19:14 PM
You know, I think people who constantly obsess about the weight and appearance of everyone around them desperately need to get a life.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on February 26, 2013, 01:25:18 PM
Amen. 
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: bansidhe on February 26, 2013, 01:36:57 PM
It took time to get DH to order appetizers and desserts in a restaurant.  His parents never order appetizers, ever.  Apparently no one could be hungry enough for an appetizer and a meal.  His Dad usually just has ice cream for dessert and unless it's a pretty unusual flavor that the restaurant makes themselves he also doesn't order dessert out.  I'm still not comfortable ordering extras when we're out with them. 

My parents never ordered appetizers or dessert when we went out either. I'd never really thought about it until now, actually. I have a dim memory of asking what an appetizer was when I was a kid and hearing my mother say, after she explained the concept, that she couldn't imagine anyone eating an appetizer and a meal.

My parents were not food controllers at all, though. That's just the way they ate and I think it might have something to do with when they grew up (during the Depression). I ended up with major food issues (anorexia) but I truly, honestly don't see them as the source. And at almost 49 years old, I've still never ordered an appetizer!
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: Diane AKA Traska on February 26, 2013, 01:41:36 PM
Quote
Perhaps when the food dictators have universally triumphed, their next front to tackle will indeed be the sleeping one...

They've already started.

I'm a night person.  I've always been a night person.  I don't want to be anything OTHER than a night person.  Do not wake me in the morning and think I'm going to be chipper and alert.  It's not going to happen.

Yet I am told, repeatedly, that I MUST become a morning person and that staying up late is my greatest sin of all and that I'm so wrong for not conforming to the "get up and shine" morning person routine.

I have a coworker who's at work by 7:00.  Yes, he gets to leave at 4:00.  And I'm still there.  BUT, I slept a little later in the morning.  Plus, I'm at work at a time that helps those employees we have in other time zones; I was able to train someone in the Phillipines because I was still around when it was morning his time.

Seriously. Give it a break.  Get your own dang self up at any time you please.  But leave me alone.

As a fellow night owl, I hear ya!

But at the same time, I finally (mostly) conquered an insomnia issue that's plagued me my whole life.[1]  It turns out that if I constrain myself tightly to a schedule (bed by midnight), my body grows adjusted to it.  It had *never* done that before.  For the past month, I have had ONE bout of 6Am insomnia... because I stayed up voluntarily to 1:30AM.

[1] To give you an idea how bad, when I was a teenager, I once couldn't sleep for an entire week. And I mean a literal 7-day 168-hour week where I didn't even nap.  After day three, the hallucinations were interesting.  After day five, they were pretty much gone.  After day seven, I finally dropped off and slept for 24 straight hours.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: weeblewobble on February 26, 2013, 01:44:48 PM
Yikes, Diane, did you ever figure out what caused such a prolonged bout of insomnia?
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: Diane AKA Traska on February 26, 2013, 01:50:17 PM
Yikes, Diane, did you ever figure out what caused such a prolonged bout of insomnia?

I did not, actually... although it happened about a month after I discovered internet chat rooms, so the sudden "I can socialize at all hours and never leave the house" revelation may have something to do with it.  I also never experienced anything that severe ever again.  I once nearly went 72 hours, but that was me being a stupid teen/young adult (at 19, staying up for three days seems like a good idea for some stupid reason).
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: fluffy on February 26, 2013, 02:43:22 PM
My husband and I will often split an appetizer and a main dish if we want a little of each. My best friend and I will also split dishes. I do think that restaurant portions in America are gigantic to the point where it's ridiculous. But I never pay attention to what other people order/eat. Their food, their bodies, not my business.

My mom can get pretty sanctimonious about ordering an appetizer as her main dish or getting just a salad. But she never tells me what to eat, so I just ignore her.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: jedikaiti on February 26, 2013, 03:27:17 PM
Quote
Perhaps when the food dictators have universally triumphed, their next front to tackle will indeed be the sleeping one...

They've already started.

I'm a night person.  I've always been a night person.  I don't want to be anything OTHER than a night person.  Do not wake me in the morning and think I'm going to be chipper and alert.  It's not going to happen.

Yet I am told, repeatedly, that I MUST become a morning person and that staying up late is my greatest sin of all and that I'm so wrong for not conforming to the "get up and shine" morning person routine.

I have a coworker who's at work by 7:00.  Yes, he gets to leave at 4:00.  And I'm still there.  BUT, I slept a little later in the morning.  Plus, I'm at work at a time that helps those employees we have in other time zones; I was able to train someone in the Phillipines because I was still around when it was morning his time.

Seriously. Give it a break.  Get your own dang self up at any time you please.  But leave me alone.

As a fellow night owl, I hear ya!

But at the same time, I finally (mostly) conquered an insomnia issue that's plagued me my whole life.[1]  It turns out that if I constrain myself tightly to a schedule (bed by midnight), my body grows adjusted to it.  It had *never* done that before.  For the past month, I have had ONE bout of 6Am insomnia... because I stayed up voluntarily to 1:30AM.

[1] To give you an idea how bad, when I was a teenager, I once couldn't sleep for an entire week. And I mean a literal 7-day 168-hour week where I didn't even nap.  After day three, the hallucinations were interesting.  After day five, they were pretty much gone.  After day seven, I finally dropped off and slept for 24 straight hours.

Man, I thought I was bad!

If I really need to, I can adjust my sleep schedule - it usually takes a few sleep-deprived days or medicated nights, but I can do it. I am never - or rarely - really at my best in the morning, though.

For a couple of years, I worked in an office (on the US East Coast) that ended up contractually obligated to have someone on hand to provide phone/email support to folks on the West Coast (3 hours behind us) until 5:30 pm their time - so until 8:30 our time. We started off cycling through different people taking the late shift each night, but everyone else hated it. Also, we had a task that had to be done for our client at about 5pm every day, and for some reason the client rep really liked me (he was fine with everyone else, but really liked me best). Since I was a night owl anyway, I didn't mind staying late, I finally just suggested that I just work the skewed shift every day, leaving everyone else to their preferred 9-to-5 routine.

My boss could NOT figure out why I liked that shift so much, until I went on vacation for a week and he was covering the late shift. He lived almost an hour from the office, so would normally have to get up quite early to get in. That week, he could sleep in, miss the worst of the traffic, go out for drinks with his friends after work, and still be well rested when he got in the next day. After that, he understood.

My current bosses like that I'm a night owl - need someone to stay late, or come in at some weird hour of the evening? No problem, Jedi will do it!

OK, back to your regularly scheduled diversion...
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: DottyG on February 26, 2013, 03:38:24 PM
Started a new thread for us on Sleep Dictators. :)

http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=125335.0

Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: Fleur on February 26, 2013, 03:42:08 PM


Weeblewobble, your story made me well up. That is absolutely horrible. That poor, poor girl. Her mother ruined her and that is heartbreaking.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: ettiquit on February 26, 2013, 04:06:38 PM
My BFF is a bit of a fad dieter, and doesn't tend to have much success with any of them.

I finally had a revelation about diet and health early last year that has resulted in me losing weight very slowly, but actually keeping it off.  I don't restrict myself with any kind of food.

One day we went to lunch and I decided to get chips and guac for an appetizer.  She made a comment along the lines of "you know that's just going to fill you up and you'll regret eating it".

My response was "Comments like that is what will result in us never eating out together again".

She apologized, and never did it again.

I have zero tolerance for that sort of malarkey.

Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: Cz. Burrito on March 01, 2013, 10:22:04 AM
My BFF is a bit of a fad dieter, and doesn't tend to have much success with any of them.

I finally had a revelation about diet and health early last year that has resulted in me losing weight very slowly, but actually keeping it off.  I don't restrict myself with any kind of food.

One day we went to lunch and I decided to get chips and guac for an appetizer.  She made a comment along the lines of "you know that's just going to fill you up and you'll regret eating it".

My response was "Comments like that is what will result in us never eating out together again".

She apologized, and never did it again.

I have zero tolerance for that sort of malarkey.

Good for you for not tolerating that!
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: siamesecat2965 on March 01, 2013, 10:34:03 AM
My BFF is a bit of a fad dieter, and doesn't tend to have much success with any of them.

I finally had a revelation about diet and health early last year that has resulted in me losing weight very slowly, but actually keeping it off.  I don't restrict myself with any kind of food.

One day we went to lunch and I decided to get chips and guac for an appetizer.  She made a comment along the lines of "you know that's just going to fill you up and you'll regret eating it".

My response was "Comments like that is what will result in us never eating out together again".

She apologized, and never did it again.

I have zero tolerance for that sort of malarkey.

Me either. Even if I've been eating "healthy" for quite a while and decide to splurge on something perhaps not so healthy, its nobody's business but my own.  My cousin does that, and she is also the queen of quick fixes and fad diets. Even at age 50, I don't think she's quite grasped the concept of what it takes to lose weight and keep it off
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on March 01, 2013, 03:36:21 PM
I've always been of the opinion that denying oneself treats will lead to a failed diet.  Yes you should limit them, but cutting them out entirely is just asking for trouble, IMO.

Even in the few times I have had to lose weight, I'd still treat myself to a handful of M&M's now and then.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: LadyR on March 02, 2013, 06:42:46 PM
I remember on a date with an ex-boyfriend, I ordered a salad (a large meal salad) and my ex-bf announced "that's not food, she'd like (blank)" and I was so stunned that I didn't correct the waitress, so I was stuck with what he'd ordered me, which was meat heavy and while I'm not a vegetarian, I don't eat a lot of red meat (and I eat more now than I did at the time of the incident). Sadly, the incident is not what lead me to break-up with him.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: Midge on March 05, 2013, 10:14:35 AM
:(

That poor girl.

Well, at least she's thin, right? Isn't that the most important thing? /sarcasm

Argh. My MIL was only one or two steps better than that with her daughter.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: weeblewobble on March 05, 2013, 11:13:00 AM
The sad thing is, if someone asked her, 'Are you happy?'  I don't think she'd be able to answer without looking at her mother for a prompt.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: Lady Snowdon on March 05, 2013, 03:43:03 PM
I nominate my mother as a food dictator!  Last weekend I got a 45 minute lecture on the food I should be eating, the habits I should be making, how much weight I should be losing per week even!  It's very strange, because my mom is almost as heavy as I am, and has much less success than me in losing weight.  Yet somehow she knows everything that I need to do to lose my weight.  It's very irritating.  She also doesn't believe that some people have true physical issues if they don't eat regularly, so some of her advice to me includes things like "only eat within an 8 hour period of time" and "just don't eat breakfast or dinner, so your body is forced to use your reserves".  I don't know why she doesn't remember that if I put off eating I get really emotional and angry with people, or can end up with such bad stomach pains that I cry.  The absolute strangest part is that this only takes place on the phone.  She won't say a word to me if we eat together, or are talking in person.  Only over the phone. 
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: ladyknight1 on March 05, 2013, 04:59:53 PM
Lady Snowdon, I am sure it would make zero difference, but eating regular meals and snacks speeds up your metabolism, and starving yourself makes your body start breaking down muscle, not fat.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: MerryCat on March 05, 2013, 11:28:19 PM
I'm not sure if this is a food-dictator thing or a brain hurt thing, but my mother is always pushing food on me. She's convinced that I eat nothing but junk food at home so when I'm visiting she spends the whole time pushing healthy stuff on me. "You want some oatmeal? No? How about some steamed broccoli? Avocados are a super food!" I'll usually eat a bit if I'm hungry, but she keeps pushing even when I'm full.

The brain hurt part? When I tell her I'm full she counters with "You don't have to be hungry to eat this. This isn't food, it's medicine!" Gah! Since the day I walked out mid-flow she's started backing down much faster. Hooray for my developing spine!
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: Softly Spoken on March 06, 2013, 01:54:55 AM
I'm not sure if this is a food-dictator thing or a brain hurt thing, but my mother is always pushing food on me. She's convinced that I eat nothing but junk food at home so when I'm visiting she spends the whole time pushing healthy stuff on me. "You want some oatmeal? No? How about some steamed broccoli? Avocados are a super food!" I'll usually eat a bit if I'm hungry, but she keeps pushing even when I'm full.

The brain hurt part? When I tell her I'm full she counters with "You don't have to be hungry to eat this. This isn't food, it's medicine!" Gah! Since the day I walked out mid-flow she's started backing down much faster. Hooray for my developing spine!

Lol, yeah you usually don't have to eat several ounces of medicine! ::)

Tell her to get back to you when they have broccoli and avocados in pill form. ;D
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: Venus193 on March 06, 2013, 06:27:49 AM
It never succeeded but my mother refused to understand that I couldn't stand mayonnaise.  If I made a BLT in front of her she would get on my case if I didn't put mayonnaise on it. 

Her:  But it's so dry.
Me:   I don't like mayonnaise.
Her:  But you don't even taste it.
Me:   Then why use it?

 ::)
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: SeptGurl on March 06, 2013, 07:23:27 AM
A couple of food dictator stories:

1) I had a coworker who was obsessed with fat grams in food. She consumed no fat. She also believed that everyone else should consume no fat. She rapidly lost quite a lot of weight. She believed the rest of us could/should lose weight like she did if we watched our fat grams the way she did. She would patrol the break room during all of the rotating lunch periods to see what we were eating, and, of course, to make comments about the amount of fat in our food.

She let us all know that she had a physical coming up, and she was so excited to hear what her doctor thought about her weight and her diet. Guess what: Her doctor was not pleased with her diet or her weight. She had managed, in eating no fat, to mess up her blood chemistry. Her blood levels were all out of whack. To her credit, she did share that with us. She was informed by her doctor that a healthy diet includes some fat. We didn't get anymore comments from her about what we were eating.

2) I do not like eggs. Ever since I was very young, I have not eaten them. I don't like the taste or the texture. My family always gave me a hard time about this because they are all egg eaters. If they were eating eggs, I would eat a bowl of cereal. I heard about how weird I was for not liking eggs. I was pressured incessantly about eating eggs. I have tried eggs on numerous occasions, and the result is the same: I don't like them. The pressure about eggs was applied even after I was on my own. I'd still hear about it when I visited. "Don't you want some eggs?" "Everyone else likes eggs." "You should at least try the eggs." "If you don't eat the eggs, you'll hurt my feelings."

When I was well into my 20s, my mother told me that she'd known I didn't like eggs from the time I was a baby. Apparently, the pediatrician told her to feed me jarred egg yolks. I think it was for extra protein. She did that, and I just spit them out. I would not eat the eggs. When she told me this, I said, "So you've known for my entire life that I don't like eggs, and yet you continue to pressure me anyway about eating them." "Well, yes," she said. "If you would eat them, eventually, you would grow to like them."  ::)
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: EmmaJ. on March 06, 2013, 07:55:47 AM
It never succeeded but my mother refused to understand that I couldn't stand mayonnaise.  If I made a BLT in front of her she would get on my case if I didn't put mayonnaise on it. 

Her:  But it's so dry.
Me:   I don't like mayonnaise.
Her:  But you don't even taste it.
Me:   Then why use it?

 ::)

That made me smile - what a great comeback! 

I love mayo, but when I'm trying to lose a few pounds, it's the first thing I give up.  Then I went to Subway and ordered my usual ham and cheese and specified no condiments at all, just meat and cheese please.  Fellow taking my order said, but that's so dry!  How about some nice oil and vinegar? No thanks.  Mustard?  Ranch dressing?  No thanks.  Then try one our flavored mayos, chipotle? garlic? herb?  No thank you!

I guess "no condiments" was totally foreign to him.  Poor fellow was still giving me suggestions as I finished paying and walked out of the store with my "dry" sandwich!

Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: Venus193 on March 06, 2013, 08:20:27 AM
Here's another one with an even better comeback:

My friend Blanche loves dairy foods and knows very well that I don't.  We have had numerous conversations about food have gone like this:

Her:   So last night I was at such-and-such restaurant and had the best macaroni and cheese ever.
Me:    I don't care for macaroni and cheese.
Her:   Oh, I think cheese is just the most wonderful food ever!
Me:    More for you, then.

After a few of these the conversation went more like this:

Her:  I had the best cream of mushroom soup last night.
Me:   Well, mushrooms aren't my thing --
Her (sarcastically):  Yes, and I know you HATE dairy.  You despise it --
Me:   About that movie we talked about five minutes ago...

After a few of those I changed the last line to:

With a million different acceptable foodstuffs in the world I'm entitled to not like something you do.

This conversation has not been repeated since.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: Daquiri40 on March 06, 2013, 08:55:10 AM
Quote
So you've known for my entire life that I don't like eggs, and yet you continue to pressure me anyway about eating them." "Well, yes," she said. "If you would eat them, eventually, you would grow to like them."

I get this about coffee.  I do not like coffee, anything coffee-flavored or has any coffee-like substance in it.  I get, "put sugar and cream in it!"  "It's low-calorie!"  "If you start drinking it, you will grow to love it!"

I don't like it.  Period.  Why force myself to ingest something I hate?
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: IceCreamTEA on March 06, 2013, 08:56:31 AM
Here's another one with an even better comeback:

My friend Blanche loves dairy foods and knows very well that I don't.  We have had numerous conversations about food have gone like this:

Her:   So last night I was at such-and-such restaurant and had the best macaroni and cheese ever.
Me:    I don't care for macaroni and cheese.
Her:   Oh, I think cheese is just the most wonderful food ever!
Me:    More for you, then.

After a few of these the conversation went more like this:

Her:  I had the best cream of mushroom soup last night.
Me:   Well, mushrooms aren't my thing --
Her (sarcastically):  Yes, and I know you HATE dairy.  You despise it --
Me:   About that movie we talked about five minutes ago..

After a few of those I changed the last line to:

With a million different acceptable foodstuffs in the world I'm entitled to not like something you do.

This conversation has not been repeated since.



Wait, why is it not ok for Blanche to talk about something she enjoyed just because she knows you don't it?

There are loads of foods, movies and books that my friends love and I don't care for, but I still like to hear about how much they enjoyed them.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: Yvaine on March 06, 2013, 09:08:41 AM
Here's another one with an even better comeback:

My friend Blanche loves dairy foods and knows very well that I don't.  We have had numerous conversations about food have gone like this:

Her:   So last night I was at such-and-such restaurant and had the best macaroni and cheese ever.
Me:    I don't care for macaroni and cheese.
Her:   Oh, I think cheese is just the most wonderful food ever!
Me:    More for you, then.

After a few of these the conversation went more like this:

Her:  I had the best cream of mushroom soup last night.
Me:   Well, mushrooms aren't my thing --
Her (sarcastically):  Yes, and I know you HATE dairy.  You despise it --
Me:   About that movie we talked about five minutes ago..

After a few of those I changed the last line to:

With a million different acceptable foodstuffs in the world I'm entitled to not like something you do.

This conversation has not been repeated since.



Wait, why is it not ok for Blanche to talk about something she enjoyed just because she knows you don't it?

There are loads of foods, movies and books that my friends love and I don't care for, but I still like to hear about how much they enjoyed them.

Yeah, this. Venus, it doesn't sound like she was trying to push those items on you--just sharing her joy in something, the same way you'd talk about how much fun you had seeing a movie. Without knowing a lot of background or weird tone or anything, it sounds like you were shooting down her trying to talk about her enjoyment of something. :(
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: Venus193 on March 06, 2013, 09:31:19 AM
I never said it wasn't OK for her to talk about this.  You should have heard her whenever I mentioned Latin music.  Her comments on that would not be acceptable on this forum.  I therefore never mention it anymore.

I accept that not all of us like everything; that would be impossible.  However, to get sarcastic about someone not liking something you do would be rude.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: Lorelei_Evil on March 06, 2013, 09:42:57 AM
I can see that.  My father brings things up over and over again just to try and bait me with them.  He gets a kick out of trying to make me lose my temper.  It cranks him up when I refuse to engage.

I do the "more for you" response a lot. 
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: mmswm on March 06, 2013, 10:20:20 AM
It never succeeded but my mother refused to understand that I couldn't stand mayonnaise.  If I made a BLT in front of her she would get on my case if I didn't put mayonnaise on it. 

Her:  But it's so dry.
Me:   I don't like mayonnaise.
Her:  But you don't even taste it.
Me:   Then why use it?

 ::)

My mother does this to my oldest son.  It drives me bananas and drives him to the point of entertaining* thoughts of booby trapping her kitchen just to spite her. 

*He would never actually booby trap her kitchen, but he sure likes to think about it sometimes.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: TootsNYC on March 06, 2013, 11:04:57 AM
Here's another one with an even better comeback:

My friend Blanche loves dairy foods and knows very well that I don't.  We have had numerous conversations about food have gone like this:

Her:   So last night I was at such-and-such restaurant and had the best macaroni and cheese ever.
Me:    I don't care for macaroni and cheese.  That sounds great. or It was that good? or What made it so good?
Her:   Oh, I think cheese is just the most wonderful food ever!
Me:    More for you, then. I'm glad you found a place with a good version.

Do you realize that BOTH of your responses were "all about me"?
And both of them were, essentially, "I don't like it"--both of them were negative about something *she* is positive about.


Quote
"With a million different acceptable foodstuffs in the world I'm entitled to not like something you do."


And so is she, and it's not necessary for you to point it out every time. You have the power to change that dynamic by omitting the first negative comment.

If you don't want to hear about mac and cheese, then say, "how were the vegetables?" or "where is this place, again?" or even "what other stuff was on the menu?"
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: weeblewobble on March 06, 2013, 11:25:05 AM
A couple of food dictator stories:

1) I had a coworker who was obsessed with fat grams in food. She consumed no fat. She also believed that everyone else should consume no fat. She rapidly lost quite a lot of weight. She believed the rest of us could/should lose weight like she did if we watched our fat grams the way she did. She would patrol the break room during all of the rotating lunch periods to see what we were eating, and, of course, to make comments about the amount of fat in our food.

She let us all know that she had a physical coming up, and she was so excited to hear what her doctor thought about her weight and her diet. Guess what: Her doctor was not pleased with her diet or her weight. She had managed, in eating no fat, to mess up her blood chemistry. Her blood levels were all out of whack. To her credit, she did share that with us. She was informed by her doctor that a healthy diet includes some fat. We didn't get anymore comments from her about what we were eating.


One of the members of my book club is a doctor and we were talking about our various New Year's resolutions at our January meeting.  (We were not asking her for advice.  We're careful not to put her on the spot.)  She said, "I'm glad you're all trying to get healthier, all I'm going to say is, please please please remember to include healthy fats and oils in your diet plan.  I see too many women with dry, sallow skin, brittle nails and hair falling out by the handfuls because they have removed every molecule of fat from their diet plans. And that's just the damage they're doing to the outside!"

I asked her if cadbury eggs counted as a healthy fat.  She said no.

Re: the "If you don't eat the eggs, you'll hurt my feelings" thing, what an unhealthy, self-centered thing to say to you!

Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: SeptGurl on March 06, 2013, 11:54:45 AM
A couple of food dictator stories:

1) I had a coworker who was obsessed with fat grams in food. She consumed no fat. She also believed that everyone else should consume no fat. She rapidly lost quite a lot of weight. She believed the rest of us could/should lose weight like she did if we watched our fat grams the way she did. She would patrol the break room during all of the rotating lunch periods to see what we were eating, and, of course, to make comments about the amount of fat in our food.

She let us all know that she had a physical coming up, and she was so excited to hear what her doctor thought about her weight and her diet. Guess what: Her doctor was not pleased with her diet or her weight. She had managed, in eating no fat, to mess up her blood chemistry. Her blood levels were all out of whack. To her credit, she did share that with us. She was informed by her doctor that a healthy diet includes some fat. We didn't get anymore comments from her about what we were eating.


One of the members of my book club is a doctor and we were talking about our various New Year's resolutions at our January meeting.  (We were not asking her for advice.  We're careful not to put her on the spot.)  She said, "I'm glad you're all trying to get healthier, all I'm going to say is, please please please remember to include healthy fats and oils in your diet plan.  I see too many women with dry, sallow skin, brittle nails and hair falling out by the handfuls because they have removed every molecule of fat from their diet plans. And that's just the damage they're doing to the outside!"

I asked her if cadbury eggs counted as a healthy fat.  She said no.

Re: the "If you don't eat the eggs, you'll hurt my feelings" thing, what an unhealthy, self-centered thing to say to you!

If only Cadbury Eggs were a healthy fat. Now that's an egg I would eat!  ;D

And about "If you don't eat the eggs, you'll hurt my feelings" ... you'll probably be glad to know that I didn't eat the eggs.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: Venus193 on March 06, 2013, 12:13:11 PM
Egad.

Blanche gets histrionic about certain subjects.  One line of hers that I must have heard her say a dozen times or more is "Calamari?  I don't eat anything with suckers; it's something I live by."

I happen to like calamari, but that comment is a bit ridiculous after the second time.  So is the self-reprimand over one tablespoon of potato salad.

She is also likely to start a conversation monologue with "I know you don't like musicals, but..." forcing me to listen to at least 15 minutes of how wonderful something is that I find treakley (sp?) or trite.  15 minutes during which I can't get a word in edgewise.  I don't do this to her.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: perpetua on March 06, 2013, 12:30:08 PM
Egad.

Blanche gets histrionic about certain subjects.  One line of hers that I must have heard her say a dozen times or more is "Calamari?  I don't eat anything with suckers; it's something I live by."

I happen to like calamari, but that comment is a bit ridiculous after the second time.  So is the self-reprimand over one tablespoon of potato salad.

She is also likely to start a conversation monologue with "I know you don't like musicals, but..." forcing me to listen to at least 15 minutes of how wonderful something is that I find treakley (sp?) or trite.  15 minutes during which I can't get a word in edgewise.  I don't do this to her.

I've been lurking on this forum for a long time before I joined and I've seen a lot of your stories about Blanche, Venus. I'm perplexed as to why you're friends with her - you don't seem to have a good word to say about her. I hope she has some redeeming qualities to balance out all the negatives?

Back on topic: My father is a food dictator. He doesn't like fat women, so it started when I was very young and left me with too many food issues to count. Even now at the age of 44 he asks me if I should really be eating that biscuit.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: Moray on March 06, 2013, 12:36:30 PM
Here's another one with an even better comeback:

My friend Blanche loves dairy foods and knows very well that I don't.  We have had numerous conversations about food have gone like this:

Her:   So last night I was at such-and-such restaurant and had the best macaroni and cheese ever.
Me:    I don't care for macaroni and cheese.  That sounds great. or It was that good? or What made it so good?
Her:   Oh, I think cheese is just the most wonderful food ever!
Me:    More for you, then. I'm glad you found a place with a good version.

Do you realize that BOTH of your responses were "all about me"?
And both of them were, essentially, "I don't like it"--both of them were negative about something *she* is positive about.


Quote
"With a million different acceptable foodstuffs in the world I'm entitled to not like something you do."


And so is she, and it's not necessary for you to point it out every time. You have the power to change that dynamic by omitting the first negative comment.

If you don't want to hear about mac and cheese, then say, "how were the vegetables?" or "where is this place, again?" or even "what other stuff was on the menu?"

This. To be honest, I'd find your responses very rude. You say Blanche is "histrionic" about her dislike of certain things, like calamari, but your responses to her about dairy sound just about the same.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: DottyG on March 06, 2013, 12:44:54 PM
Quote
I'm perplexed as to why you're friends with her - you don't seem to have a good word to say about her.

I kinda have to agree.  She doesn't sound like someone you really enjoy being around, Venus.

Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: Venus193 on March 06, 2013, 01:04:32 PM
In truth, our friendship is now just on the phone.  She moved in 2004 to a place that's probably about 9 hours away (I don't drive). 

When she lived in the city and later in Westchester we used to hang out and go to horror movie conventions, historic buildings, thrift shops, flea markets, etc.  We both had toxic, narcissistic mothers, and relatives who didn't seem to see what was really going on.  I think we have been valuable to each other over that.

When I realized how much she hated anything having to do with Latin America (except the food) I stopped talking about novelas and Latin music.  I tried to get her to agree to do the same with animation and musicals but she has been less diligent about that.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: Diane AKA Traska on March 06, 2013, 01:19:46 PM
In truth, our friendship is now just on the phone.  She moved in 2004 to a place that's probably about 9 hours away (I don't drive). 

When she lived in the city and later in Westchester we used to hang out and go to horror movie conventions, historic buildings, thrift shops, flea markets, etc.  We both had toxic, narcissistic mothers, and relatives who didn't seem to see what was really going on.  I think we have been valuable to each other over that.

When I realized how much she hated anything having to do with Latin America (except the food) I stopped talking about novelas and Latin music.  I tried to get her to agree to do the same with animation and musicals but she has been less diligent about that.

You know, it's funny, all this time I thought "Blanche' was an amalgam of all the negative traits from various friends you rolled up into one so you'd have a name to place with your stories.  :)
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: Venus193 on March 06, 2013, 01:23:28 PM
No; not at all.

This particular friend earned this nick because she is sometimes as pathetic as Blanche DuBois of A Streetcar Named Desire whose most famous line of dialogue probably is "I have always depended on the kindness of strangers."  She also has a tendency to dumb herself down around men, a trait I didn't realize until after her divorce.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: Wordgeek on March 06, 2013, 02:00:30 PM
Enough with the Blanche sidebar.  Move on, please.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: weeblewobble on March 06, 2013, 02:06:23 PM
One thought about the "super-fooders"- I just get confused.  A relative of DH's is big on these trends.  ONLY EAT AVOCADO, it's rich in the vital nutrients you need to stay alive," she'll say.  And then six months later it's, "NEVER EAT AVOCADO. It's terrible for you!"  We've gone through acai, goji berry, noni berry, guarana, lychee.  All of these things were supposed to hold the key to eternal youth... until six months later when she discovered that there were "terrible consequences" to eating them, and switched to a different fruit to support.

How about I just eat my apple and mind my own business?
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: doodlemor on March 06, 2013, 02:26:41 PM


 I do not like eggs. Ever since I was very young, I have not eaten them. I don't like the taste or the texture. My family always gave me a hard time about this because they are all egg eaters. If they were eating eggs, I would eat a bowl of cereal. I heard about how weird I was for not liking eggs. I was pressured incessantly about eating eggs. I have tried eggs on numerous occasions, and the result is the same: I don't like them. The pressure about eggs was applied even after I was on my own. I'd still hear about it when I visited. "Don't you want some eggs?" "Everyone else likes eggs." "You should at least try the eggs." "If you don't eat the eggs, you'll hurt my feelings."

When I was well into my 20s, my mother told me that she'd known I didn't like eggs from the time I was a baby. Apparently, the pediatrician told her to feed me jarred egg yolks. I think it was for extra protein. She did that, and I just spit them out. I would not eat the eggs. When she told me this, I said, "So you've known for my entire life that I don't like eggs, and yet you continue to pressure me anyway about eating them." "Well, yes," she said. "If you would eat them, eventually, you would grow to like them."  ::)

At some point in the past I read an article with the premise that sometimes people with food aversions have an allergy to the food that they dislike. Do you ever have problems/symptoms after eating foods with a high egg content, like custard, Coley?

[edited because I can't spell]
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: DottyG on March 06, 2013, 02:29:19 PM
Weeble, the problem is, that's how the scientific community [whatever term applies here best] as a whole reacts to foods.

I could list a ton of examples of how things have been good for you, then bad for you, then good for you, then......

Remember when we were taught to never, ever, ever eat butter!  It's horrible for you!  You should only eat margarine, because it's much healthier!  Then, in the not so distant past, that thinking turned completely around.  We are to not use margarine, but use only butter!  (Actually, the thought is more of using other oils and fats, but butter is preferred over margarine, at least.)

So I'm also sympathetic to DH's relative!  He's probably just as confused about what's healthy or not as the rest of us by this point! :D

Editing, because it appears that the "scientific community" words are being focused on more than the point I'm trying to make!  It doesn't matter what term you use!  My point is that one week something's good for you, the next it's bad for you, etc.
 
 
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: weeblewobble on March 06, 2013, 02:42:19 PM
Weeble, the problem is, that's how the scientific community as a whole reacts to foods.

I could list a ton of examples of how things have been good for you, then bad for you, then good for you, then......

Remember when we were taught to never, ever, ever eat butter!  It's horrible for you!  You should only eat margarine, because it's much healthier!  Then, in the not so distant past, that thinking turned completely around.  We are to not use margarine, but use only butter!  (Actually, the thought is more of using other oils and fats, but butter is preferred over margarine, at least.)

So I'm also sympathetic to DH's relative!  He's probably just as confused about what's healthy or not as the rest of us by this point! :D

Alternate suggestion: he could just eat a balanced diet with a lot of different kinds of fruits/veggies and not depend on one thing that's going to help live forever? :)
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: doodlemor on March 06, 2013, 02:42:37 PM
Weeble, the problem is, that's how the scientific community as a whole reacts to foods.

I could list a ton of examples of how things have been good for you, then bad for you, then good for you, then......

Remember when we were taught to never, ever, ever eat butter!  It's horrible for you!  You should only eat margarine, because it's much healthier!  Then, in the not so distant past, that thinking turned completely around.  We are to not use margarine, but use only butter!  (Actually, the thought is more of using other oils and fats, but butter is preferred over margarine, at least.)

So I'm also sympathetic to DH's relative!  He's probably just as confused about what's healthy or not as the rest of us by this point! :D

And eggs were the epitome of evil.  I remember all of this too, Dotty.

My view is to eat as naturally as possible, but not to be a zealot about it.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: DottyG on March 06, 2013, 02:45:31 PM
Weeble, oh I agree with you!  I'm just saying that it's frustrating to be told so many conflicting things all the time!

I dealt with that when I was trying to find out why I was getting kidney stones.  One source told me to ALWAYS eat such-and-such, because it keeps stones away.....another site said NEVER eat it.  It was so infuriating!

Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: mmswm on March 06, 2013, 02:47:30 PM
Weeble, the problem is, that's how the scientific community as a whole reacts to foods.

I could list a ton of examples of how things have been good for you, then bad for you, then good for you, then......

Remember when we were taught to never, ever, ever eat butter!  It's horrible for you!  You should only eat margarine, because it's much healthier!  Then, in the not so distant past, that thinking turned completely around.  We are to not use margarine, but use only butter!  (Actually, the thought is more of using other oils and fats, but butter is preferred over margarine, at least.)

So I'm also sympathetic to DH's relative!  He's probably just as confused about what's healthy or not as the rest of us by this point! :D

Well, not really.  The problem is the scientific community says something like "there's a tiny study that might show evidence that eating ping pong balls will extend your life by 50 years.  More research needs to be done."  The mainstream media starts blowing it out of proportion and the next thing we know the headlines are screaming "Eat Ping Pong Balls and Live Forever!!!!".  The mainstream scientists then start pulling their hair out trying to get the ping pong ball evidence back into the proper context.  They do more studies and, as it turns out, there was some un-accounted for variable in the lives on the test subjects and that's what caused the lifetime extension, not the fact that these people were eating ping pong balls.  Now the media has to retract what they said originally, or tone it down.

Of course, it has been the case that mainstream science has firmly believed something for years (eggs being the notable item), only to have further studies prove it wrong, but those instances are fewer and farther between than the headline grabbing media that latches onto every single small study out there.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: Yvaine on March 06, 2013, 02:52:39 PM
I first started noticing the "healthy food of the week" crazes as a kid, when it was oat bran. Oat bran, oat bran, oat bran. I got so sick of even hearing about it that it kind of burned skepticism into my leetle brain out of sheer annoyance.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: DottyG on March 06, 2013, 02:53:02 PM
I used "scientific community" because I wasn't sure what term I wanted to use - there were several I was opting for.  I settled on that one.  Whatever group you want to attribute the shifts to, go ahead and do so.  The confusion (and my point) is the same.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: SeptGurl on March 06, 2013, 03:26:01 PM


 I do not like eggs. Ever since I was very young, I have not eaten them. I don't like the taste or the texture. My family always gave me a hard time about this because they are all egg eaters. If they were eating eggs, I would eat a bowl of cereal. I heard about how weird I was for not liking eggs. I was pressured incessantly about eating eggs. I have tried eggs on numerous occasions, and the result is the same: I don't like them. The pressure about eggs was applied even after I was on my own. I'd still hear about it when I visited. "Don't you want some eggs?" "Everyone else likes eggs." "You should at least try the eggs." "If you don't eat the eggs, you'll hurt my feelings."

When I was well into my 20s, my mother told me that she'd known I didn't like eggs from the time I was a baby. Apparently, the pediatrician told her to feed me jarred egg yolks. I think it was for extra protein. She did that, and I just spit them out. I would not eat the eggs. When she told me this, I said, "So you've known for my entire life that I don't like eggs, and yet you continue to pressure me anyway about eating them." "Well, yes," she said. "If you would eat them, eventually, you would grow to like them."  ::)

At some point in the past I read an article with the premise that sometimes people with food adversions have an allergy to the food that they dislike. Do you ever have problems/symptoms after eating foods with a high egg content, like custard, Coley?

This is an interesting question. I also don't like custard. Maybe there's a correlation?!
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: TootsNYC on March 06, 2013, 03:32:37 PM
Weeble, the problem is, that's how the scientific community as a whole reacts to foods.

I could list a ton of examples of how things have been good for you, then bad for you, then good for you, then......

Remember when we were taught to never, ever, ever eat butter!  It's horrible for you!  You should only eat margarine, because it's much healthier!  Then, in the not so distant past, that thinking turned completely around.  We are to not use margarine, but use only butter!  (Actually, the thought is more of using other oils and fats, but butter is preferred over margarine, at least.)

So I'm also sympathetic to DH's relative!  He's probably just as confused about what's healthy or not as the rest of us by this point! :D

It's not tne true scientific community that does this.

It's the pseudo-scientific MARKETING community that does this. People with something to sell (even if it's their own expertise or ego).
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: DottyG on March 06, 2013, 03:48:11 PM
I already explained that I made a mistake.  But, again, I realize now that I used the wrong term for what I was attempting to say.  I picked one out of the several that I was considering.  I picked wrong!  My point is the same, though!

I've now edited my post to (hopefully, better) reflect the point I'm trying to make:  that one week something's good for you, the next it's bad for you, etc.

 
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: doodlemor on March 06, 2013, 08:55:16 PM


 I do not like eggs. Ever since I was very young, I have not eaten them. I don't like the taste or the texture. My family always gave me a hard time about this because they are all egg eaters. If they were eating eggs, I would eat a bowl of cereal. I heard about how weird I was for not liking eggs. I was pressured incessantly about eating eggs. I have tried eggs on numerous occasions, and the result is the same: I don't like them. The pressure about eggs was applied even after I was on my own. I'd still hear about it when I visited. "Don't you want some eggs?" "Everyone else likes eggs." "You should at least try the eggs." "If you don't eat the eggs, you'll hurt my feelings."

When I was well into my 20s, my mother told me that she'd known I didn't like eggs from the time I was a baby. Apparently, the pediatrician told her to feed me jarred egg yolks. I think it was for extra protein. She did that, and I just spit them out. I would not eat the eggs. When she told me this, I said, "So you've known for my entire life that I don't like eggs, and yet you continue to pressure me anyway about eating them." "Well, yes," she said. "If you would eat them, eventually, you would grow to like them."  ::)

At some point in the past I read an article with the premise that sometimes people with food aversions have an allergy to the food that they dislike. Do you ever have problems/symptoms after eating foods with a high egg content, like custard, Coley?

This is an interesting question. I also don't like custard. Maybe there's a correlation?!

That is interesting.  Are there other eggy things that you dislike?

I remembered the article because I'm very allergic to eggs, and greatly disliked eating the yolks as a child.

In the last few years I've read some really interesting stuff about cells that aren't brain cells influencing thoughts in the brain, and even an article about some diseases influencing people's thoughts.  I think that there is a lot to be learned yet about how our bodies work. 

End of threadjack.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: girlysprite on March 07, 2013, 01:19:07 AM
One day I was visiting my brother and I got a cup of tea. I asked if he had an artificial sweetner. Cue speech about the evil of those things and how I didn't need them with my (slim) figure anyways. I told him that my choice was not up for debate.
After the tea I wanted so ething cool to drink, and brother told me to check the fridge for what I want. In the fridge, three bottles of diet coke stared back at me.

"but I prefer that taste!"

Sigh... ::)
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: Venus193 on March 07, 2013, 05:47:02 AM
There will always be someone determined to tell you that anything you prefer is bad for you.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: wyliefool on March 07, 2013, 08:11:06 AM
Weeble, the problem is, that's how the scientific community [whatever term applies here best] as a whole reacts to foods.

I could list a ton of examples of how things have been good for you, then bad for you, then good for you, then......

Remember when we were taught to never, ever, ever eat butter!  It's horrible for you!  You should only eat margarine, because it's much healthier!  Then, in the not so distant past, that thinking turned completely around.  We are to not use margarine, but use only butter!  (Actually, the thought is more of using other oils and fats, but butter is preferred over margarine, at least.)

So I'm also sympathetic to DH's relative!  He's probably just as confused about what's healthy or not as the rest of us by this point! :D

Editing, because it appears that the "scientific community" words are being focused on more than the point I'm trying to make!  It doesn't matter what term you use!  My point is that one week something's good for you, the next it's bad for you, etc.

And now antioxidants actually cause cancer instead of preventing it!

I stopped listening to 'nutrition' 'news' years and years ago. I don't know how much of the problem is because the science is badly done--they do tend to make sweeping generalizations from very small samples, as well as making stupid (imo) assumptions--and how much is due to bad reporting, but I'm just no longer willing to listen.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: laud_shy_girl on March 07, 2013, 10:29:23 AM
There has been "Breaking news" for the last few days.

Processed meat 'early death' link

Really   ???  :o I mean, who knew?  ::)
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: Minmom3 on March 07, 2013, 11:32:05 AM
Wellll, processed as in 'pink slime', or processed as in a butchered carcass?  Are we supposed to eat the WHOLE ANIMAL like the wolves do, and get some gut, fur and hoof in with the tenderloin?

Gah...
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: DottyG on March 07, 2013, 12:28:04 PM
Quote
And now antioxidants actually cause cancer instead of preventing it!

We're veering way into topics that can get the thread closed, but could you PM me the links you've seen on this (I'll Google as well, but if you know of some, in particular, that you trust)?  I hadn't heard this, and I want to know more.

Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: HoneyBee42 on March 07, 2013, 06:55:43 PM
I've always been of the opinion that denying oneself treats will lead to a failed diet.  Yes you should limit them, but cutting them out entirely is just asking for trouble, IMO.

Even in the few times I have had to lose weight, I'd still treat myself to a handful of M&M's now and then.

I agree--one of the things that I like about the program I'm on (SparkPeople) is the idea that it's all about the *portion size* and that there isn't any such thing as a "bad food" ... just things that a proper portion would be awfully small.  So when I eat chocolate, I'm not "cheating" ... I've just chosen to spend around 70 calories of my daily calorie budget on chocolate (one square, individually wrapped or a set number of M&Ms that I set out and then put all the rest away before I start eating).  And anyone who wants to try to ruin my moment of enjoying chocolate *will* be firmly told that it is none of their business.  (Yes, I do love chocolate--the darker the better.)
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on March 07, 2013, 08:02:20 PM
Weight Watchers is like that as well.  I don't really know how the points plus works but I think with the old program you'd get 30 flex points a week that could be put towards a meal out, or a party or something that involves more food, or holidays.  Or you could earn an extra point for doing 15 minutes of exercise.  And as long as you wisely budget your points, you're good.

Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: Twik on March 08, 2013, 11:50:56 AM
I'm old enough to have come to pretty well ignore the "Eat this food and live healthy forever!" news reports. You can almost guarantee that within a couple of years they will announce that the food is useless at best, and horribly bad for you at worst.

Sorry, there comes a time when "Trust us, we're right THIS time!" doesn't impress me.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on March 08, 2013, 11:55:29 AM
DH tried to get me to give up caffeine once.  I admit, I wasn't polite. I laughed.  Sorry, I just like my coffee and Diet coke too much.  And I can detect a difference in the caffeine-free versions.  Years ago DH tried to slip me some caffeine free coffee but one sip and I knew it was not my beloved high-octane.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: Venus193 on March 08, 2013, 12:13:35 PM
And caffein-free cola is just vile.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on March 08, 2013, 12:16:14 PM
And caffein-free cola is just vile.

I call it brown water.  Then DH tried to get me to give up Diet Coke because the sweetener was the newest "IT'S GOING TO KILL YOU!" thing.  I don't like regular cola because it's too sweet.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: lilfox on March 08, 2013, 12:20:47 PM
DH tried to get me to give up caffeine once.  I admit, I wasn't polite. I laughed.  Sorry, I just like my coffee and Diet coke too much.  And I can detect a difference in the caffeine-free versions.  Years ago DH tried to slip me some caffeine free coffee but one sip and I knew it was not my beloved high-octane.

If it was when you were pregnant, then we married the same guy.  Now, granted, I can't taste the difference between regular and decaf but we got to where we were citing different studies at each other to defend our positions.  (FWIW, all the existing research plus doctors' recommendations allow that up to 1 cup of coffee daily is probably totally safe and at the time I had about a 1/3 of that per day.)  To stop the badgering keep the peace, eventually I just started having my tea at work.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: Venus193 on March 08, 2013, 12:21:21 PM
And caffein-free cola is just vile.

I call it brown water.  Then DH tried to get me to give up Diet Coke because the sweetener was the newest "IT'S GOING TO KILL YOU!" thing.  I don't like regular cola because it's too sweet.

Really.  Regular coke has 39 grams of sugar per can.  Candy bars have less than that.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: MommyPenguin on March 08, 2013, 12:22:08 PM
I ran into this news article (on a mainstream news source) that said something like, "69% of Americans want to see <blah blah>."  Wow, I thought, how interesting.  That's very different from what I would have expected.  So I read the article.  Turns out it was based on a survey of 580 people.  Now, I know that they choose the people for their random surveys very carefully, but on something political like that... if they can't figure out which way swing states will go, I really can't imagine that they can extrapolate realistically from a pool of 580 people.

I don't drink coffee, but I love Coke Zero (I reluctantly gave it up during pregnancy, as I regrettably couldn't stand the taste of Diet Coke with Splenda), and I love my caffeine-free iced tea made with a small amount of Splenda and lemon.  My husband says it's tea-flavored water.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: weeblewobble on March 08, 2013, 12:35:55 PM
DH tried to get me to give up caffeine once.  I admit, I wasn't polite. I laughed.  Sorry, I just like my coffee and Diet coke too much.  And I can detect a difference in the caffeine-free versions.  Years ago DH tried to slip me some caffeine free coffee but one sip and I knew it was not my beloved high-octane.

I used to be a "five cans of Coke a day" soda drinker.  I finally gave it up in October.  (The first week of withdrawal headaches was UGLY.)  I stick to sparkling water now. My tolerance for caffeine has dropped through the floor.  I drink one caffeinated diet soda with a meal and I'm bouncing off the walls for HOURS. DH says it's like dealing with a preschooler after trick-or-treating.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: weeblewobble on March 08, 2013, 12:37:01 PM
And caffein-free cola is just vile.

I call it brown water.  Then DH tried to get me to give up Diet Coke because the sweetener was the newest "IT'S GOING TO KILL YOU!" thing.  I don't like regular cola because it's too sweet.

That's kind of funny, because to me, the diet drinks are way sweeter than regular.  I guess everybody's tastebuds process it differently.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: MrTango on March 08, 2013, 01:45:43 PM
And caffein-free cola is just vile.

I agree with Caffeine Free-Diet cola.

Coke has a Caffeine free version (not diet, it still has all the sugar) that's actually pretty good.  I like to use it to mix myself a drink late in the evening when having caffeine isn't a good idea.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: laud_shy_girl on March 08, 2013, 06:01:10 PM
ahh diet pop.

I HATE diet drinks. I am sensitive to sweeteners. They make me wheezy and sick. I think I am actuality allergic to them. More to the point I can taste them. blercgh  :P

My sisters is adamant I can't taste them. She out right calls me a lier and hounds me about drinking diet. The number of people (usually bar people or people over hearing me ask a bar person to change a drink becouse they gave me diet when I didn't ask for it) who become dictator like over my drinks is amazing. total strangers will "ask" in total disbelieving way "why I am not drinking diet?"
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on March 08, 2013, 06:38:04 PM
DH tried to get me to give up caffeine once.  I admit, I wasn't polite. I laughed.  Sorry, I just like my coffee and Diet coke too much.  And I can detect a difference in the caffeine-free versions.  Years ago DH tried to slip me some caffeine free coffee but one sip and I knew it was not my beloved high-octane.

If it was when you were pregnant, then we married the same guy.  Now, granted, I can't taste the difference between regular and decaf but we got to where we were citing different studies at each other to defend our positions.  (FWIW, all the existing research plus doctors' recommendations allow that up to 1 cup of coffee daily is probably totally safe and at the time I had about a 1/3 of that per day.)  To stop the badgering keep the peace, eventually I just started having my tea at work.

Well during my first pregnancy I voluntarily gave it up but with my second I was taking classes at night so caffeine was necessary.   It was maybe one bottle a day but still.  When Pirateboy2 turned out to have ADHD dh said "Maybe it was all the caffeine you drank when you were pregnant with him!"  I told him no, dear, it's a neurological issue and hereditary.  It is not caused by too much caffeine.

I remember once I went out to eat at a food court with a friend in high school and ordered a sandwich and a diet coke.  She said "You do realize that you can't cancel out the calories in that sandwich by drinking a Diet Coke?"  ::)
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: ladyknight1 on March 08, 2013, 10:11:30 PM
ahh diet pop.

I HATE diet drinks. I am sensitive to sweeteners. They make me wheezy and sick. I think I am actuality allergic to them. More to the point I can taste them. blercgh  :P

My sisters is adamant I can't taste them. She out right calls me a lier and hounds me about drinking diet. The number of people (usually bar people or people over hearing me ask a bar person to change a drink becouse they gave me diet when I didn't ask for it) who become dictator like over my drinks is amazing. total strangers will "ask" in total disbelieving way "why I am not drinking diet?"

I can taste all artificial sweeteners, and can barely tolerate Stevia (which is natural). I learned to do without sweetening at all in my beverages. People cannot believe that I can taste Splenda, Nutrasweet, or Sweet&Low. I can, although I wish I could use one of them.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: Venus193 on March 09, 2013, 06:52:31 AM
I thanked the food gods for Splenda because it's the only one that tastes good in tea.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: Bexx27 on March 09, 2013, 07:06:14 AM
ahh diet pop.

I HATE diet drinks. I am sensitive to sweeteners. They make me wheezy and sick. I think I am actuality allergic to them. More to the point I can taste them. blercgh  :P

My sisters is adamant I can't taste them. She out right calls me a lier and hounds me about drinking diet. The number of people (usually bar people or people over hearing me ask a bar person to change a drink becouse they gave me diet when I didn't ask for it) who become dictator like over my drinks is amazing. total strangers will "ask" in total disbelieving way "why I am not drinking diet?"

I am so with you on this. Artificial sweeteners -- yes, even splenda -- don't make me sick, but the aftertaste is just disgusting to me. I love regular soda, but I'd rather drink nothing than diet soda. If I had a nickel for every time I ordered I coke and was asked, "diet coke?"...

My SMIL once sort of called me out for drinking coke while pregnant. She said, "oh, I have caffeine free diet coke if you think the caffeine might not be a good idea for the baby."  ::) I said I'd be much more concerned about the effects of aspartame than a little caffeine. (Not that I'd really be concerned about either, but it was a convenient excuse.)
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: Klein Bottle on March 09, 2013, 08:06:53 AM
ahh diet pop.

I HATE diet drinks. I am sensitive to sweeteners. They make me wheezy and sick. I think I am actuality allergic to them. More to the point I can taste them. blercgh  :P

My sisters is adamant I can't taste them. She out right calls me a lier and hounds me about drinking diet. The number of people (usually bar people or people over hearing me ask a bar person to change a drink becouse they gave me diet when I didn't ask for it) who become dictator like over my drinks is amazing. total strangers will "ask" in total disbelieving way "why I am not drinking diet?"

They make me sick,too.  But that doesn't stop people from pushing them on me.  Once, I went with a then-boyfriend to his dad's birthday celebration.  His mom provided Diet Cokes and that Crystal Light stuff as the choice of beverages, and I politely turned them down.  She was a sweet lady, and kept insisting that I "would not taste the difference" in the Crystal Light.  Not wanting to be adamant, I just told her I wasn't thirsty.  Eventually, I wound up with a glass of tap water to wash down the cake and ice cream    ;D  (Thankfully, they were not sugar-free!)
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: bansidhe on March 10, 2013, 03:38:26 AM
I love diet, caffeine-free soda. Just figured I'd be the sole opposing voice on the matter.  ;D

I avoided caffeine entirely for 25 years or so, as when I was in my late teens I discovered that it made me quite ill -  as in nausea and vomiting and similar unpleasantness. Just a couple of years ago however, my husband brought home some diet cream soda from the store and I got into the habit of taking a can with me to work every day. After a couple of weeks, I finally noticed, in small print on the can, the words "contains caffeine." I cautiously experimented with other caffeinated drinks and sure enough, I'd outgrown my caffeine problems! Exactly when it happened I have no idea, as I'd been very religious about avoiding the stuff.

So I've experienced both pro- and anti-caffeine dictators.  :-\
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: Queen of Clubs on March 10, 2013, 08:59:19 AM
Some people are just dictatorial. No matter what you're doing/not doing or eating/not eating, if they do anything differently or eat anything different, then you are wrong and must be put right.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: Venus193 on March 10, 2013, 09:05:43 AM
Some people are just dictatorial. No matter what you're doing/not doing or eating/not eating, if they do anything differently or eat anything different, then you are wrong and must be put right.

Also known as Control Freaks, who are frequently the most insecure people you know.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: kherbert05 on March 10, 2013, 10:48:42 AM


At some point in the past I read an article with the premise that sometimes people with food aversions have an allergy to the food that they dislike. Do you ever have problems/symptoms after eating foods with a high egg content, like custard, Coley?

[edited because I can't spell]
These stories are not supposed to be scientific fact but my family has been told to treat food aversion as food allergy until it can be checked out because of family history.

The docs wouldn't test me for allergies until I was in HS. Mom and Dad were told not to push any food that I seemed to have an aversion to especially if I described it as physically uncomfortable (like calling something itchy).

When I finally got tested - I went into anaphylactic shock from the skin test. Then a couple more times from the actual tests. When we finally got through the test (was suppose to take 2 days took 4 or 5 days), almost every food I HATED was on that list. A couple of hated foods that weren't on the list either a) had a similar flavor to something on the list b) was often mixed something I did test positive to C) had a similar texture to something on the list.

Sis HATES eggs. She hates them with a purple passion. Cannot keep anything that is mainly eggs down. She gags and gets sick. She also swears that the flu shot gave her a horrible case of the flu. I suggested that she might be allergic to eggs - and that the horrible case of the flu could have been a reaction. She is going to ask her doc about next time she goes in for a check up.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: Aeris on March 10, 2013, 01:10:12 PM


At some point in the past I read an article with the premise that sometimes people with food aversions have an allergy to the food that they dislike. Do you ever have problems/symptoms after eating foods with a high egg content, like custard, Coley?

[edited because I can't spell]
These stories are not supposed to be scientific fact but my family has been told to treat food aversion as food allergy until it can be checked out because of family history.

The docs wouldn't test me for allergies until I was in HS. Mom and Dad were told not to push any food that I seemed to have an aversion to especially if I described it as physically uncomfortable (like calling something itchy).

When I finally got tested - I went into anaphylactic shock from the skin test. Then a couple more times from the actual tests. When we finally got through the test (was suppose to take 2 days took 4 or 5 days), almost every food I HATED was on that list. A couple of hated foods that weren't on the list either a) had a similar flavor to something on the list b) was often mixed something I did test positive to C) had a similar texture to something on the list.

Sis HATES eggs. She hates them with a purple passion. Cannot keep anything that is mainly eggs down. She gags and gets sick. She also swears that the flu shot gave her a horrible case of the flu. I suggested that she might be allergic to eggs - and that the horrible case of the flu could have been a reaction. She is going to ask her doc about next time she goes in for a check up.

Oh my, I can't believe the doctors wouldn't test you until high school! That's just terrible! Why in the world did they make you wait so long? Especially if they were telling your parents to treat your aversions as allergies. What in the world were they thinking?
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: Black Delphinium on March 10, 2013, 01:11:30 PM
Oh my, I can't believe the doctors wouldn't test you until high school! That's just terrible! Why in the world did they make you wait so long? Especially if they were telling your parents to treat your aversions as allergies. What in the world were they thinking?
Considering how bad her reactions were in her teens, that testing earlier might have killed her.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: MerryCat on March 10, 2013, 01:25:41 PM
I don't know if this is food dictatorship, exactly, but I used to know a girl who, when we went out to eat, would often  pressure me to order fatty, unhealthy stuff. If I felt like it that day I would do so and she'd be happy and order something similar. If I wasn't hungry or just felt like a salad or something then she would also order a salad but be very resentful about it. She'd complain about how she came out to enjoy herself and take a break from her diet, etc.

I could never get her to explain to my exactly why we had to eat at the same level of "healthiness". I mean, when she was on one of her diet of the week crazes it never bothered me to eat a burger while she had her handful of celery and orange juice (because yes, I was allowed to eat unhealthy while she ate healthy, but the reverse was never allowed to happen.) We drifted apart years ago, but sometimes I think about her and wonder if she still does that.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: Venus193 on March 10, 2013, 01:33:04 PM
I think some people do that to validate their own choices.  That's the only explanation I can have for that.  If she can order diet food while you order the megacalorie choice she can feel superior, but in the reverse she can't.

In certain social situations it can make you look prissy to order diet food.  This is something one does not eat according to Power Lunching 101, a mini-course I gave to everyone I have ever mentored in my work.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: kherbert05 on March 10, 2013, 01:58:44 PM

Oh my, I can't believe the doctors wouldn't test you until high school! That's just terrible! Why in the world did they make you wait so long? Especially if they were telling your parents to treat your aversions as allergies. What in the world were they thinking?

That the tests could kill me. I went into full on reactions during the test 3 times as a 16 yo it would have been worse when i was smaller. This was long before the current test that can be done with a blood draw and not expose the child to the actual allergens.  As it was standard allergy shot treatment didn't work on me. The lowest levels cause my arm to look like I had 1/2 a golf ball stuck under my skin.


As a kid I was on a somewhat restricted diet to avoid possible allergens till it was safe to test me. I rarely ate at other people's houses, except my extended family, and 2 best friends (1 had a doctor for a father, and both had medically fragile siblings), never ate school lunches because they all came with peanut butter cookies. Mom as at every class party to stop the other mothers from forcing foods I wasn't allowed on my plate - so the teachers (who were great except for PK and 3rd grade) didn't have to monitor me.


Somehow my parents did that without me feeling like I was wrapped in cotton wool all the time. They encouraged me to be independent as possible. Outside of situations that involved food - I was as free as other kids my age.  In situations that involved food - I took the lead starting in lower elementary. I would ask questions and get responses - with my parents listening and watching in the background. There were times they had to step up and insist on firm answers or that things be double checked.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: mmswm on March 10, 2013, 02:05:12 PM


At some point in the past I read an article with the premise that sometimes people with food aversions have an allergy to the food that they dislike. Do you ever have problems/symptoms after eating foods with a high egg content, like custard, Coley?

[edited because I can't spell]
These stories are not supposed to be scientific fact but my family has been told to treat food aversion as food allergy until it can be checked out because of family history.

The docs wouldn't test me for allergies until I was in HS. Mom and Dad were told not to push any food that I seemed to have an aversion to especially if I described it as physically uncomfortable (like calling something itchy).

When I finally got tested - I went into anaphylactic shock from the skin test. Then a couple more times from the actual tests. When we finally got through the test (was suppose to take 2 days took 4 or 5 days), almost every food I HATED was on that list. A couple of hated foods that weren't on the list either a) had a similar flavor to something on the list b) was often mixed something I did test positive to C) had a similar texture to something on the list.

Sis HATES eggs. She hates them with a purple passion. Cannot keep anything that is mainly eggs down. She gags and gets sick. She also swears that the flu shot gave her a horrible case of the flu. I suggested that she might be allergic to eggs - and that the horrible case of the flu could have been a reaction. She is going to ask her doc about next time she goes in for a check up.

I know this is going to sound weird, but thank you for sharing that experience.  I have a severe food allergy and when I was tested I went into anaphylaxis from the skin test.  I've stopped sharing that bit of information, even with some doctors, because I've been told "that can't happen" and "I must be making it up".  Even with my medical records in front of him, I had one doctor claim that my allergist must not be able to recognize the symptoms of anaphylaxis because it's impossible to cause with "just a skin test."  I've never heard of it happening to anybody else, and that's kind of a lonely feeling, so while I'm not glad you have allergies, I am glad that I'm not alone.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: KenveeB on March 10, 2013, 02:15:19 PM
I don't know if this is food dictatorship, exactly, but I used to know a girl who, when we went out to eat, would often  pressure me to order fatty, unhealthy stuff. If I felt like it that day I would do so and she'd be happy and order something similar. If I wasn't hungry or just felt like a salad or something then she would also order a salad but be very resentful about it. She'd complain about how she came out to enjoy herself and take a break from her diet, etc.

I could never get her to explain to my exactly why we had to eat at the same level of "healthiness". I mean, when she was on one of her diet of the week crazes it never bothered me to eat a burger while she had her handful of celery and orange juice (because yes, I was allowed to eat unhealthy while she ate healthy, but the reverse was never allowed to happen.) We drifted apart years ago, but sometimes I think about her and wonder if she still does that.

It's very awkward to eat out with a certain friend of mine. She has an eating disorder and underwent treatment for it. One thing her therapist told her was to never eat "diet" food and always eat whatever she feels like eating. Which is fine, and I want to be supportive of her. But whenever we eat, she always picks places that pretty much don't have healthy options, insists we (not her, we) order dessert, etc. It's very hard to stay on my own eating plan, flexible as it is, around her, and I don't want to sabotage all my hard work! (I've lost 50+ pounds and am working on around 30 more.) I try to just avoid situations where we would be expected to eat around her.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: PeterM on March 10, 2013, 02:49:27 PM
I love diet, caffeine-free soda. Just figured I'd be the sole opposing voice on the matter.  ;D

There's a book I really like, Wildside by Steven Gould, where to avoid spoilers I'll just say that a group of teens are cut off from the amenities of modern civilization for various periods of time. The main character loves caffeine-free diet cola. He craves it like nothing else. Which annoys him, because as he puts it the stuff is pretty much useless. "I mean, it doesn't even keep you awake!"

Quote
I avoided caffeine entirely for 25 years or so, as when I was in my late teens I discovered that it made me quite ill -  as in nausea and vomiting and similar unpleasantness. Just a couple of years ago however, my husband brought home some diet cream soda from the store and I got into the habit of taking a can with me to work every day. After a couple of weeks, I finally noticed, in small print on the can, the words "contains caffeine." I cautiously experimented with other caffeinated drinks and sure enough, I'd outgrown my caffeine problems! Exactly when it happened I have no idea, as I'd been very religious about avoiding the stuff.

So I've experienced both pro- and anti-caffeine dictators.  :-\

I drank caffeine all through my childhood and into my teens. My mother avoided it, but not strenuously. When I got to college I started having some nasty symptoms that frankly scared the snot out of me, and I couldn't figure out what was going on because my diet hadn't appreciably changed. My mother suggested I cut out caffeine, and that worked. It had happened to her the same basic way, but not until she was in her mid-20s, which combined with the fact that I'd never had any trouble with it before explained why she hadn't warned me about it.

So I switched to caffeine-free Coke, went through a week or two of withdrawal that really, really sucked, and got on with my life. About ten years later I started drinking the occasional regular Coke, with no ill effects, so now I'm back to the good stuff and going strong. The only side effect is to my waistline.

I've never encountered any caffeine dictators, pro or con. When I was drinking water or Sprite when out on the town I'd explain that I had troubles with caffeine and that was met with an "oh, sure" type of nod and occasional commiseration. No one's ever given me guff for not drinking coffee or generally not drinking alcohol, either. Considering some of the stories I've seen here over the years, I'm a lucky man.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: Kaymyth on March 10, 2013, 11:18:34 PM
ahh diet pop.

I HATE diet drinks. I am sensitive to sweeteners. They make me wheezy and sick. I think I am actuality allergic to them. More to the point I can taste them. blercgh  :P

My sisters is adamant I can't taste them. She out right calls me a lier and hounds me about drinking diet. The number of people (usually bar people or people over hearing me ask a bar person to change a drink becouse they gave me diet when I didn't ask for it) who become dictator like over my drinks is amazing. total strangers will "ask" in total disbelieving way "why I am not drinking diet?"

I am so with you on this. Artificial sweeteners -- yes, even splenda -- don't make me sick, but the aftertaste is just disgusting to me. I love regular soda, but I'd rather drink nothing than diet soda. If I had a nickel for every time I ordered I coke and was asked, "diet coke?"...


Count me as another one.  I have yet to meet an artificial sweetener that didn't just taste nasty.  Science may say that they're umpty-times sweeter than regular sugar, but apparently my taste buds don't believe in science.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: Slartibartfast on March 11, 2013, 01:39:23 AM
DH tried to get me to give up caffeine once.  I admit, I wasn't polite. I laughed.  Sorry, I just like my coffee and Diet coke too much.  And I can detect a difference in the caffeine-free versions.  Years ago DH tried to slip me some caffeine free coffee but one sip and I knew it was not my beloved high-octane.

If it was when you were pregnant, then we married the same guy.  Now, granted, I can't taste the difference between regular and decaf but we got to where we were citing different studies at each other to defend our positions.  (FWIW, all the existing research plus doctors' recommendations allow that up to 1 cup of coffee daily is probably totally safe and at the time I had about a 1/3 of that per day.)  To stop the badgering keep the peace, eventually I just started having my tea at work.

Well during my first pregnancy I voluntarily gave it up but with my second I was taking classes at night so caffeine was necessary.   It was maybe one bottle a day but still.  When Pirateboy2 turned out to have ADHD dh said "Maybe it was all the caffeine you drank when you were pregnant with him!"  I told him no, dear, it's a neurological issue and hereditary.  It is not caused by too much caffeine.

I remember once I went out to eat at a food court with a friend in high school and ordered a sandwich and a diet coke.  She said "You do realize that you can't cancel out the calories in that sandwich by drinking a Diet Coke?"  ::)

I was very good about all the "don't eat this!!!" stuff when I was pregnant with Babybartfast, but this issue is the main reason I was even moderately good about it the second time around  :)  I had to balance the "But I like blue cheese, darnit!" against the idea that if Bittybartfast had ended up having some sort of health issue, I'd always have to deal with people accusing me of having eaten blue cheese while pregnant (or drunk caffeine, or eaten tuna, or whatever).

For those of you interested in the caffeine thing, there's a great comparison chart online at  http://www.flickr.com/photos/rtkrum/4266263806/sizes/l/ (http://www.flickr.com/photos/rtkrum/4266263806/sizes/l/).  So much of caffeine's effect is psychosomatic - coffee has five times the caffeine that a can of Coke does (for the same volume), and Coke has two or three times the caffeine in some other sodas such as root beer.  Which means if someone accidentally drinks a caffeinated root beer and claims it's going to keep them up all night, I tend not to believe them  :P
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: ettiquit on March 11, 2013, 07:52:08 AM
I think it's pretty normal to prefer that our dining companions eat bad when we eat bad.  I never vocalize it though, when a friend orders a salad and I get a burger.  My roommate called me a "loser" the other day because I declined her offer of a Little Debbie snack.  It didn't bother me since I get it.  I wish we didn't care so much though!


Reading this thread, I remembered two recent examples of those who are really outspoken and will tell anyone who will listen how bad something is.

I was telling my mom and brother that my son (9) made me lunch.  I told them that he went a little overboard with the mustard on my sandwich, but other than that everything was really good.  My brother says "At least it wasn't mayonnaise!", which resulted in my mom and bro discussing the evils of mayonnaise.  I didn't bother tell them that the sandwich also had mayo on it.  They're both insane about food, so it's best not to engage.

Another one about my brother.  My DH makes a really good chili, and we often have it at family gatherings.  A lot of times I'll make cornbread to go with it, and my brother always partakes in both enthusiastically.  That is, until the time I was running late and still making the bread when he arrived and he saw that an entire stick of butter is used in this recipe.  He declared that he would never eat my cornbread again.  Sigh.  Butter is the ultimate evil in his world.

Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: PastryGoddess on March 11, 2013, 08:51:49 AM
I think it's pretty normal to prefer that our dining companions eat bad when we eat bad.  I never vocalize it though, when a friend orders a salad and I get a burger.  My roommate called me a "loser" the other day because I declined her offer of a Little Debbie snack.  It didn't bother me since I get it.  I wish we didn't care so much though!


Reading this thread, I remembered two recent examples of those who are really outspoken and will tell anyone who will listen how bad something is.

I was telling my mom and brother that my son (9) made me lunch.  I told them that he went a little overboard with the mustard on my sandwich, but other than that everything was really good.  My brother says "At least it wasn't mayonnaise!", which resulted in my mom and bro discussing the evils of mayonnaise.  I didn't bother tell them that the sandwich also had mayo on it.  They're both insane about food, so it's best not to engage.

Another one about my brother.  My DH makes a really good chili, and we often have it at family gatherings.  A lot of times I'll make cornbread to go with it, and my brother always partakes in both enthusiastically.  That is, until the time I was running late and still making the bread when he arrived and he saw that an entire stick of butter is used in this recipe.  He declared that he would never eat my cornbread again.  Sigh.  Butter is the ultimate evil in his world.



More cornbread for you!
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: Twik on March 11, 2013, 08:57:01 AM
For those of you interested in the caffeine thing, there's a great comparison chart online at  http://www.flickr.com/photos/rtkrum/4266263806/sizes/l/ (http://www.flickr.com/photos/rtkrum/4266263806/sizes/l/).  So much of caffeine's effect is psychosomatic - coffee has five times the caffeine that a can of Coke does (for the same volume), and Coke has two or three times the caffeine in some other sodas such as root beer.  Which means if someone accidentally drinks a caffeinated root beer and claims it's going to keep them up all night, I tend not to believe them  :P

My mother was astonished when she discovered her mother-in-law's idea of something to prepare you for bedtime - a nice, steaming cup of hot coffee. She and her children swore it was the most soporific thing ever.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: Venus193 on March 11, 2013, 09:01:35 AM
Coffee doesn't keep me awake at all and I once had a boss with the same reaction.  Both of our mothers drank coffee during their pregnancies at a time when nobody was saying this was a bad thing.  They consumed the same quantity as before and after.  I joke about posting before coffee sometimes, but for me the value of coffee in the morning is the aroma.

Having said that, it annoys me when anyone tries to talk me out of drinking coffee or tea after 2PM.  Not going to happen.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on March 11, 2013, 09:53:51 AM
I know that for anyone with ADHD, stimulants such as caffeine can have a calming effect.  A doctor explained it to me, as she acknowledged it seemed counterintuitive to give people with hyperactivity stimulants, but it has been shown to work.

My middle son is far more focused when he's had caffeine than when he's not, and as he doesn't like the effects that ADHD meds have on him, we let him have caffeine instead.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: siamesecat2965 on March 11, 2013, 11:33:39 AM
DH tried to get me to give up caffeine once.  I admit, I wasn't polite. I laughed.  Sorry, I just like my coffee and Diet coke too much.  And I can detect a difference in the caffeine-free versions.  Years ago DH tried to slip me some caffeine free coffee but one sip and I knew it was not my beloved high-octane.

Heh. My cousin tried to tell me how much better SHE felt once she gave up caffeine, and how I would too. Sorry, no. the day I give up my coffee is the day they pry it from my cold, dead, hand. I'm not much of a soda drinker, but I enjoy my coffee. A lot.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: siamesecat2965 on March 11, 2013, 11:43:50 AM
Coffee doesn't keep me awake at all and I once had a boss with the same reaction.  Both of our mothers drank coffee during their pregnancies at a time when nobody was saying this was a bad thing.  They consumed the same quantity as before and after.  I joke about posting before coffee sometimes, but for me the value of coffee in the morning is the aroma.

Having said that, it annoys me when anyone tries to talk me out of drinking coffee or tea after 2PM.  Not going to happen.

My parents and now my mom, can drink coffee day and night and it never keeps them up. i think its because they are so used to it.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: Twik on March 11, 2013, 11:47:48 AM
I think it's partly genetic.

I've very occasionally been kept awake by drinking coffee late at night. But I've never really felt a significant boost from a single cup of coffee or a cola. I suspect I don't have a lot of caffeine receptor genes or something.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: kherbert05 on March 11, 2013, 11:57:53 AM

I know this is going to sound weird, but thank you for sharing that experience.  I have a severe food allergy and when I was tested I went into anaphylaxis from the skin test.  I've stopped sharing that bit of information, even with some doctors, because I've been told "that can't happen" and "I must be making it up".  Even with my medical records in front of him, I had one doctor claim that my allergist must not be able to recognize the symptoms of anaphylaxis because it's impossible to cause with "just a skin test."  I've never heard of it happening to anybody else, and that's kind of a lonely feeling, so while I'm not glad you have allergies, I am glad that I'm not alone.
I can and have gone into anaphylaxis by touch repeatedly. Since 2001 I've landed in the ER 7 times all for skin contact with peanut products. If a Doctor tells me it isn't possible (that has happened), I walk out. When it comes to health care I don't suffer fools at all. Telling me a reaction that I've had since the day I was born isn't possible means I don't trust you to be well informed.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: weeblewobble on March 11, 2013, 12:04:46 PM
DH tried to get me to give up caffeine once.  I admit, I wasn't polite. I laughed.  Sorry, I just like my coffee and Diet coke too much.  And I can detect a difference in the caffeine-free versions.  Years ago DH tried to slip me some caffeine free coffee but one sip and I knew it was not my beloved high-octane.

If it was when you were pregnant, then we married the same guy.  Now, granted, I can't taste the difference between regular and decaf but we got to where we were citing different studies at each other to defend our positions.  (FWIW, all the existing research plus doctors' recommendations allow that up to 1 cup of coffee daily is probably totally safe and at the time I had about a 1/3 of that per day.)  To stop the badgering keep the peace, eventually I just started having my tea at work.

Well during my first pregnancy I voluntarily gave it up but with my second I was taking classes at night so caffeine was necessary.   It was maybe one bottle a day but still.  When Pirateboy2 turned out to have ADHD dh said "Maybe it was all the caffeine you drank when you were pregnant with him!"  I told him no, dear, it's a neurological issue and hereditary.  It is not caused by too much caffeine.

I remember once I went out to eat at a food court with a friend in high school and ordered a sandwich and a diet coke.  She said "You do realize that you can't cancel out the calories in that sandwich by drinking a Diet Coke?"  ::)

I was very good about all the "don't eat this!!!" stuff when I was pregnant with Babybartfast, but this issue is the main reason I was even moderately good about it the second time around  :)  I had to balance the "But I like blue cheese, darnit!" against the idea that if Bittybartfast had ended up having some sort of health issue, I'd always have to deal with people accusing me of having eaten blue cheese while pregnant (or drunk caffeine, or eaten tuna, or whatever).

For those of you interested in the caffeine thing, there's a great comparison chart online at  http://www.flickr.com/photos/rtkrum/4266263806/sizes/l/ (http://www.flickr.com/photos/rtkrum/4266263806/sizes/l/).  So much of caffeine's effect is psychosomatic - coffee has five times the caffeine that a can of Coke does (for the same volume), and Coke has two or three times the caffeine in some other sodas such as root beer.  Which means if someone accidentally drinks a caffeinated root beer and claims it's going to keep them up all night, I tend not to believe them  :P

When I was pregnant with my son, my inlaws started doing a weight loss program together (all of the aunts, cousins, plus my MIL) and a new sugar substitute had just come out.  While I was happy they were getting healthy and finding lots of baking/cooking uses for the sugar substitute, I wasn't willing to eat the foods made with the sugar substitute because it was so new and all of the research wasn't complete and I didn't know how the sugar substitute would affect the baby.  After a few go-rounds in which I think maybe the inlaws thought I was judging them for their choices, they did accept that I wasn't going to eat the "revamped" foods"
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: kherbert05 on March 11, 2013, 12:11:58 PM
I know that for anyone with ADHD, stimulants such as caffeine can have a calming effect.  A doctor explained it to me, as she acknowledged it seemed counterintuitive to give people with hyperactivity stimulants, but it has been shown to work.

My middle son is far more focused when he's had caffeine than when he's not, and as he doesn't like the effects that ADHD meds have on him, we let him have caffeine instead.
ADHD is cause by the a part of the brain being understimuated. Increase activity in that part of the brain and the person can focus instead of being distracted by random thoughts and shiny objects. 

 
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: ladyknight1 on March 11, 2013, 12:26:16 PM
And squirrels!
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on March 11, 2013, 12:37:43 PM
I know that for anyone with ADHD, stimulants such as caffeine can have a calming effect.  A doctor explained it to me, as she acknowledged it seemed counterintuitive to give people with hyperactivity stimulants, but it has been shown to work.

My middle son is far more focused when he's had caffeine than when he's not, and as he doesn't like the effects that ADHD meds have on him, we let him have caffeine instead.
ADHD is cause by the a part of the brain being understimuated. Increase activity in that part of the brain and the person can focus instead of being distracted by random thoughts and shiny objects.

Thank you, that's worded much better, and how it was explained to me.  :)
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: jedikaiti on March 11, 2013, 10:57:01 PM
I know that for anyone with ADHD, stimulants such as caffeine can have a calming effect.  A doctor explained it to me, as she acknowledged it seemed counterintuitive to give people with hyperactivity stimulants, but it has been shown to work.

My middle son is far more focused when he's had caffeine than when he's not, and as he doesn't like the effects that ADHD meds have on him, we let him have caffeine instead.

And that would be one of the reasons why, when I gave up caffeine years ago, I didn't have a single decent un-medicated night's sleep for 4 years. Seriously. My brain would Not Shut Up.

Then I was diagnosed with ADHD and given a small dose of stimulants. HOLY COW! I could sleep!

I want to give up soda because it's bad for my teeth, but I don't like coffee, and you can have my caffeine when you pry it from my cold, dead hands.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: LadyR on March 12, 2013, 12:41:22 AM
Now I'm curious, I've cut back on caffeine due to my pregnancy and have had huge trouble ficusing on school (I am unmedicated ADHD) and have had insomnia for only the second time in my life--the first being during my previous pregnancy. Must mention it to my doctor.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: zyrs on March 12, 2013, 02:07:01 AM
I remembered another food dictator in my life.

One of my former girlfriends would only eat certain foods.  This in itself wasn't bad, but the other part of it was she didn't want any foods she didn't like to be in the house.  At a restaurant she would look at your food and make gagging noises if it wasn't on her acceptable list. 

 
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: Cz. Burrito on March 12, 2013, 06:23:35 AM
I remembered another food dictator in my life.

One of my former girlfriends would only eat certain foods.  This in itself wasn't bad, but the other part of it was she didn't want any foods she didn't like to be in the house.  At a restaurant she would look at your food and make gagging noises if it wasn't on her acceptable list. 

That's just obnoxious. Most kids know not to make gagging noises by the time they're out of elementary school.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on March 12, 2013, 06:31:56 AM
I know that for anyone with ADHD, stimulants such as caffeine can have a calming effect.  A doctor explained it to me, as she acknowledged it seemed counterintuitive to give people with hyperactivity stimulants, but it has been shown to work.

My middle son is far more focused when he's had caffeine than when he's not, and as he doesn't like the effects that ADHD meds have on him, we let him have caffeine instead.

And that would be one of the reasons why, when I gave up caffeine years ago, I didn't have a single decent un-medicated night's sleep for 4 years. Seriously. My brain would Not Shut Up.

Then I was diagnosed with ADHD and given a small dose of stimulants. HOLY COW! I could sleep!

I want to give up soda because it's bad for my teeth, but I don't like coffee, and you can have my caffeine when you pry it from my cold, dead hands.

Here you go!

(http://media-cache-ec5.pinterest.com/originals/ea/74/5f/ea745f7fca636b53f83f3eee64d6a725.jpg)


Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: Diane AKA Traska on March 12, 2013, 06:42:21 AM
For me, it's song lyrics.  Earworms dancing through my head.  I love Weird Al, but not at 2AM when I'm trying to sleep!
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: LadyDyani on March 12, 2013, 08:34:25 AM
For me, it's song lyrics.  Earworms dancing through my head.  I love Weird Al, but not at 2AM when I'm trying to sleep!

I get the "What-if"s.  What would happen if this happened?  How would the kids react if this happened? Who would I call first if this happened? What about this?  What about this?

Went to bed at 10:15 last night.  Finally fell asleep around 1:30 or 2.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: ettiquit on March 12, 2013, 08:43:11 AM
I know that for anyone with ADHD, stimulants such as caffeine can have a calming effect.  A doctor explained it to me, as she acknowledged it seemed counterintuitive to give people with hyperactivity stimulants, but it has been shown to work.

My middle son is far more focused when he's had caffeine than when he's not, and as he doesn't like the effects that ADHD meds have on him, we let him have caffeine instead.

And that would be one of the reasons why, when I gave up caffeine years ago, I didn't have a single decent un-medicated night's sleep for 4 years. Seriously. My brain would Not Shut Up.

Then I was diagnosed with ADHD and given a small dose of stimulants. HOLY COW! I could sleep!

I want to give up soda because it's bad for my teeth, but I don't like coffee, and you can have my caffeine when you pry it from my cold, dead hands.

Here you go!

(http://media-cache-ec5.pinterest.com/originals/ea/74/5f/ea745f7fca636b53f83f3eee64d6a725.jpg)

LOL!
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: VorFemme on March 12, 2013, 09:44:18 AM
I know that for anyone with ADHD, stimulants such as caffeine can have a calming effect.  A doctor explained it to me, as she acknowledged it seemed counterintuitive to give people with hyperactivity stimulants, but it has been shown to work.

My middle son is far more focused when he's had caffeine than when he's not, and as he doesn't like the effects that ADHD meds have on him, we let him have caffeine instead.

And that would be one of the reasons why, when I gave up caffeine years ago, I didn't have a single decent un-medicated night's sleep for 4 years. Seriously. My brain would Not Shut Up.

Then I was diagnosed with ADHD and given a small dose of stimulants. HOLY COW! I could sleep!

I want to give up soda because it's bad for my teeth, but I don't like coffee, and you can have my caffeine when you pry it from my cold, dead hands.

Here you go!

(http://media-cache-ec5.pinterest.com/originals/ea/74/5f/ea745f7fca636b53f83f3eee64d6a725.jpg)




What if I throw my hip out doing the Macarena?  Or look really, really stupid....wait, everyone looks odd doing the Macarena.....must study Macarena dancers to see why they do it, like Jane Goodall in the jungle with the chimps, Tarzan had a Jane and chimp in the jungle......and on & on & on.....

Yeah - this is such familiar mental territory.  Rather like Tarzan in a jungle.....wonder if doing the Macarena in a loin cloth would be extra embarressing?  (edited to correct "Spell Check" because it added space in the middle of a word)
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: jedikaiti on March 12, 2013, 12:34:21 PM
And this:
http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1276 (http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1276)
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on March 12, 2013, 12:38:21 PM
LOL!!!!!!! Yep!! :):)

Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: MommyPenguin on March 12, 2013, 10:18:29 PM
I don't know if it's psychosomatic or not, but I find that how much caffeine I'm ingesting on a regular basis affects how much caffeine affects me.  When I was in high school and college, I used to drink iced tea as my regular drink (caffeinated, although tea doesn't have a lot in it).  I would also drink some amount of Coke, which has more than tea but nowhere near coffee.  Because I was regularly drinking a low amount of caffeine, my body was used to it.  I could have a Coke or iced tea late at night, no problem.

Later I switched to decaf tea (which still has caffeine but it's *really* minimal), and for a while I wasn't drinking any soda.  So I was having almost no caffeine on a regular basis.  I then found that when I did have a Coke, I could really feel the effect.  Suddenly soda would keep me up at night when it never had before.

Now I've been drinking Coke a lot more, and my system seems to be somewhat confused.  I have noticed that if I drink a Coke and then try to take a nap soon afterwards, I sometimes find that I doze lightly but I never seem to fall asleep, and I just keep thinking about things.  I don't feel like my heart is racing or like I'm all hyped up, I just don't seem to be able to drop all the way off to sleep.

On the subject of food dictators, my husband isn't as picky an eater as I am, but he's generally a less healthy one.  He has the tendency to binge on a food... eating an entire bag of M&Ms, things like that.  I'll eat plenty of sweets, but generally a lot more moderately.  But he'll also go through periods when he tries to eat really healthy.  And instead of just, say, not eating a ton of candy or whatever, he'll start eating some sort of spinach-and-egg omelet and pea soup and asking me to buy kale and stuff like that.  And then he really wants me to eat this sort of thing with him, and I feel bad for not doing it too and discouraging him.  But... I don't like spinach.  Or kale.  Or runny eggs.  Or any of the other stuff recommended through this exercise program or whatever it is.  I might try to eat the same foods that I normally eat, but maybe try to eat a little less junk and a little more good stuff, but that's about the only change I'm willing to make.  And then the health kick he's on doesn't last and he's back to regular diet, and I'm never quite sure if it's my fault for not being more supportive or if it was pointless for me to join in because he would have dropped it anyway.  Oy.  He's not really being a food dictator as he isn't trying to force me or make me feel guilty, but it's just sort of frustrating.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: Nikko-chan on March 12, 2013, 11:39:37 PM
I remembered another food dictator in my life.

One of my former girlfriends would only eat certain foods.  This in itself wasn't bad, but the other part of it was she didn't want any foods she didn't like to be in the house.  At a restaurant she would look at your food and make gagging noises if it wasn't on her acceptable list.

 

This past year when we had Christmas eve dinner my uncles nephew and his family stopped by. One of their daughters (she is eighteen so most definitely out of the elementary age that was mentioned) looked at something on someone's plate and was like "That's disgusting and stuck her finger in her mouth and made gagging noises. Like, really? Are you like... five or something? And then I remembered why I hate going to family events when they are there.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: StarDrifter on March 13, 2013, 12:27:22 AM
Until I was pregnant, I never encountered this, thank goodness.

However, the moment I announced my pregnancy all of a sudden every single mouthful of food I ate was being scrutinised, not by people close to me but by random friends-of-friends on Facebook.

Worst moments? I posted a photo of some freaking awesome escargot that we had at this great little french restaurant here in my home town, and this was when I was about six months pregnant. I'd already eaten my half of the dozen, and Husband was working on his half. When we got home there was a message on the house phone from one of Husband's aunts, who had seen the photo on her son's FB feed and had decided to call my MIL to get our home number and had left a three-minute message berating me for 'putting my child in danger' by eating 'that filth' while pregnant.

I ignored the message, and when Husband mentioned it to MIL when we saw her next she was mortified, apologised for giving out our number (not a big deal, she could have found us in the White Pages) and said that she'd speak to her sister-in-law about it.

A couple of weeks later at Christmas we had a fantastic buffet of cold meat and salads (Australian Christmas. Hot food is not what you want when it's 40-plus degrees celsius in the shade) and this same aunt spent the entire afternoon glaring at me and muttering under her breath about 'irresponsible young people' and how my child is going to be deformed because I dared to, at six months pregnant, to eat what I liked, only avoiding soft cheeses because there'd been a listeria scare in our state earlier that month.

I mean, sure, I expected some raised eyebrows when I went for the prawns, but honestly, I trust my MIL and FIL to prepare them properly, and I knew that if I wanted to they would not have cared if I'd passed them up - but prawns!

What I was not expecting was this aunt to leap to her feet and SHOUT at me "PUT THAT DOWN!" I actually dropped my plate in shock (it hit the table and didn't break but I got salad dressing all over my dress) and she then started to yell at me about eating unsafe things while pregnant.

MIL asked her to leave, thankfully, and Husband took me aside because I was pretty shaken up by being screamed at by a relative I'd only met twice before this (at the two previous family Christmas gatherings) about my food choices.

MIL informed me yesterday that this aunt asked her over the weekend why she wasn't invited to my baby shower...
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: NyaChan on March 13, 2013, 01:38:42 AM
Yikes StarDrifter!  Kudos to your husband & family for watching out for you.  Aunt needs to mind her own business.  To be honest, I didn't even realize that snails could be a problem, let alone prawns.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: LadyDyani on March 13, 2013, 06:30:02 AM
On the subject of food dictators, my husband isn't as picky an eater as I am, but he's generally a less healthy one.  He has the tendency to binge on a food... eating an entire bag of M&Ms, things like that.  I'll eat plenty of sweets, but generally a lot more moderately.  But he'll also go through periods when he tries to eat really healthy.  And instead of just, say, not eating a ton of candy or whatever, he'll start eating some sort of spinach-and-egg omelet and pea soup and asking me to buy kale and stuff like that.  And then he really wants me to eat this sort of thing with him, and I feel bad for not doing it too and discouraging him.  But... I don't like spinach.  Or kale.  Or runny eggs.  Or any of the other stuff recommended through this exercise program or whatever it is.  I might try to eat the same foods that I normally eat, but maybe try to eat a little less junk and a little more good stuff, but that's about the only change I'm willing to make.  And then the health kick he's on doesn't last and he's back to regular diet, and I'm never quite sure if it's my fault for not being more supportive or if it was pointless for me to join in because he would have dropped it anyway.  Oy.  He's not really being a food dictator as he isn't trying to force me or make me feel guilty, but it's just sort of frustrating.

5:15 - Get home from work
5:30 - eat half a bag of black licorice jelly beans
5:45 - eat half a bag of circus peanuts
6:30 - complain about not being hungry when your wife puts a lasagna on the table
7:00 - complain about your stomach hurting

Drives me crazy.

The worst part of it is when he gets on a health kick, complains about eating too much fatty food, complains about needing to lose twenty pounds, and then asks me to make something decadent for dinner.  Yes, stuffed shells are delicious (and they totally have spinach in them!  That makes them healthy, right?), but I don't think that much cheese per serving will help you lose weight.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: ladyknight1 on March 13, 2013, 11:03:10 AM
I don't know if it's psychosomatic or not, but I find that how much caffeine I'm ingesting on a regular basis affects how much caffeine affects me.  When I was in high school and college, I used to drink iced tea as my regular drink (caffeinated, although tea doesn't have a lot in it).  I would also drink some amount of Coke, which has more than tea but nowhere near coffee.  Because I was regularly drinking a low amount of caffeine, my body was used to it.  I could have a Coke or iced tea late at night, no problem.

Later I switched to decaf tea (which still has caffeine but it's *really* minimal), and for a while I wasn't drinking any soda.  So I was having almost no caffeine on a regular basis.  I then found that when I did have a Coke, I could really feel the effect.  Suddenly soda would keep me up at night when it never had before.

Now I've been drinking Coke a lot more, and my system seems to be somewhat confused.  I have noticed that if I drink a Coke and then try to take a nap soon afterwards, I sometimes find that I doze lightly but I never seem to fall asleep, and I just keep thinking about things.  I don't feel like my heart is racing or like I'm all hyped up, I just don't seem to be able to drop all the way off to sleep.

On the subject of food dictators, my husband isn't as picky an eater as I am, but he's generally a less healthy one.  He has the tendency to binge on a food... eating an entire bag of M&Ms, things like that.  I'll eat plenty of sweets, but generally a lot more moderately.  But he'll also go through periods when he tries to eat really healthy.  And instead of just, say, not eating a ton of candy or whatever, he'll start eating some sort of spinach-and-egg omelet and pea soup and asking me to buy kale and stuff like that.  And then he really wants me to eat this sort of thing with him, and I feel bad for not doing it too and discouraging him.  But... I don't like spinach.  Or kale.  Or runny eggs.  Or any of the other stuff recommended through this exercise program or whatever it is.  I might try to eat the same foods that I normally eat, but maybe try to eat a little less junk and a little more good stuff, but that's about the only change I'm willing to make.  And then the health kick he's on doesn't last and he's back to regular diet, and I'm never quite sure if it's my fault for not being more supportive or if it was pointless for me to join in because he would have dropped it anyway.  Oy.  He's not really being a food dictator as he isn't trying to force me or make me feel guilty, but it's just sort of frustrating.

My caffeine tolerance used to be what yours was, MP. I would think "I don't need coffee, because I am on as it is". Then my son became a teenager, and I started going to school and working, so I have at least one cup of coffee a day, and tea during the late morning and afternoon. I can drink tea up until bedtime, and still go to bed.

My FIL makes a big deal out of avoiding caffeine after lunch, but I think it has to do with his increasing insomnia, so we indulge him in his one borderline SS trait.  ;D
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: NotCinderell on March 14, 2013, 04:58:48 PM
A couple of food dictator stories:

1) I had a coworker who was obsessed with fat grams in food. She consumed no fat. She also believed that everyone else should consume no fat. She rapidly lost quite a lot of weight. She believed the rest of us could/should lose weight like she did if we watched our fat grams the way she did. She would patrol the break room during all of the rotating lunch periods to see what we were eating, and, of course, to make comments about the amount of fat in our food.

She let us all know that she had a physical coming up, and she was so excited to hear what her doctor thought about her weight and her diet. Guess what: Her doctor was not pleased with her diet or her weight. She had managed, in eating no fat, to mess up her blood chemistry. Her blood levels were all out of whack. To her credit, she did share that with us. She was informed by her doctor that a healthy diet includes some fat. We didn't get anymore comments from her about what we were eating.

2) I do not like eggs. Ever since I was very young, I have not eaten them. I don't like the taste or the texture. My family always gave me a hard time about this because they are all egg eaters. If they were eating eggs, I would eat a bowl of cereal. I heard about how weird I was for not liking eggs. I was pressured incessantly about eating eggs. I have tried eggs on numerous occasions, and the result is the same: I don't like them. The pressure about eggs was applied even after I was on my own. I'd still hear about it when I visited. "Don't you want some eggs?" "Everyone else likes eggs." "You should at least try the eggs." "If you don't eat the eggs, you'll hurt my feelings."

When I was well into my 20s, my mother told me that she'd known I didn't like eggs from the time I was a baby. Apparently, the pediatrician told her to feed me jarred egg yolks. I think it was for extra protein. She did that, and I just spit them out. I would not eat the eggs. When she told me this, I said, "So you've known for my entire life that I don't like eggs, and yet you continue to pressure me anyway about eating them." "Well, yes," she said. "If you would eat them, eventually, you would grow to like them."  ::)

A lady I once worked with was allergic to eggs.  Her mother would make her eat an egg every morning for breakfast and then complain she was being difficult and obstinate when she would vomit afterwards.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: NotCinderell on March 14, 2013, 05:01:01 PM
Quote
So you've known for my entire life that I don't like eggs, and yet you continue to pressure me anyway about eating them." "Well, yes," she said. "If you would eat them, eventually, you would grow to like them."

I get this about coffee.  I do not like coffee, anything coffee-flavored or has any coffee-like substance in it.  I get, "put sugar and cream in it!"  "It's low-calorie!"  "If you start drinking it, you will grow to love it!"

I don't like it.  Period.  Why force myself to ingest something I hate?
I don't understand those people, either.  I've always loved coffee, and I wouldn't drink it if I didn't like it.  I almost never drink alcohol, because I usually don't like the taste.  When I was younger, people told me that I needed to acquire a taste for it, but I never saw the point.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: weeblewobble on March 14, 2013, 05:30:07 PM
Quote
So you've known for my entire life that I don't like eggs, and yet you continue to pressure me anyway about eating them." "Well, yes," she said. "If you would eat them, eventually, you would grow to like them."

I get this about coffee.  I do not like coffee, anything coffee-flavored or has any coffee-like substance in it.  I get, "put sugar and cream in it!"  "It's low-calorie!"  "If you start drinking it, you will grow to love it!"

I don't like it.  Period.  Why force myself to ingest something I hate?
I don't understand those people, either.  I've always loved coffee, and I wouldn't drink it if I didn't like it.  I almost never drink alcohol, because I usually don't like the taste.  When I was younger, people told me that I needed to acquire a taste for it, but I never saw the point.

What they're really telling you is, "Conform!  Make me feel better about my life choices!  Don't make me ask myself questions about my habits!"
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: MommyPenguin on March 14, 2013, 05:41:39 PM
I've been told that I should drink coffee and alcohol, and that I would acquire the taste, as well.  And like you, I just don't see the point.  What health benefit do they really give you?  I'm not a teatotaller--I will drink a bit of wine at Passover, or if somebody offers it to me at their house, or whatever, but I'm just not a big drinker and I don't see any reason to try to make myself become one.  It's expensive!
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: Minmom3 on March 14, 2013, 08:09:45 PM
AND alcohol is empty calories.  And REALLY, shouldn't consuming empty calories be pleasurable to YOU the drinker?  Why do it if it ISN'T pleasurable?!?!?!  Honestly, now.  I don't begin to understand WHY people push others to drink or imbibe. 

And me?  I HATE coffee.  In all forms.  Candy, icecream, loaded up with stuff at the coffee shop - I DON'T LIKE it.  More for you, none for me.  It's mostly worn off by now, but I used to get tons of people just flabbergasted that I disliked it so much.  I've had the option to drink it from a very young age, and my mother drinks it with about half milk or cream.  I still don't like it.  The only part of coffee I like is the smell of grinding the roasted coffee.  Other than that, "it's all yours!"...
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: weeblewobble on March 14, 2013, 10:42:51 PM
A couple of food dictator stories:

1) I had a coworker who was obsessed with fat grams in food. She consumed no fat. She also believed that everyone else should consume no fat. She rapidly lost quite a lot of weight. She believed the rest of us could/should lose weight like she did if we watched our fat grams the way she did. She would patrol the break room during all of the rotating lunch periods to see what we were eating, and, of course, to make comments about the amount of fat in our food.

She let us all know that she had a physical coming up, and she was so excited to hear what her doctor thought about her weight and her diet. Guess what: Her doctor was not pleased with her diet or her weight. She had managed, in eating no fat, to mess up her blood chemistry. Her blood levels were all out of whack. To her credit, she did share that with us. She was informed by her doctor that a healthy diet includes some fat. We didn't get anymore comments from her about what we were eating.

2) I do not like eggs. Ever since I was very young, I have not eaten them. I don't like the taste or the texture. My family always gave me a hard time about this because they are all egg eaters. If they were eating eggs, I would eat a bowl of cereal. I heard about how weird I was for not liking eggs. I was pressured incessantly about eating eggs. I have tried eggs on numerous occasions, and the result is the same: I don't like them. The pressure about eggs was applied even after I was on my own. I'd still hear about it when I visited. "Don't you want some eggs?" "Everyone else likes eggs." "You should at least try the eggs." "If you don't eat the eggs, you'll hurt my feelings."

When I was well into my 20s, my mother told me that she'd known I didn't like eggs from the time I was a baby. Apparently, the pediatrician told her to feed me jarred egg yolks. I think it was for extra protein. She did that, and I just spit them out. I would not eat the eggs. When she told me this, I said, "So you've known for my entire life that I don't like eggs, and yet you continue to pressure me anyway about eating them." "Well, yes," she said. "If you would eat them, eventually, you would grow to like them."  ::)

A lady I once worked with was allergic to eggs.  Her mother would make her eat an egg every morning for breakfast and then complain she was being difficult and obstinate when she would vomit afterwards.

I compare this to two mom's I know who are absolutely vigilant about making sure that 1) everybody at school is aware of/understands how serious their children's allergies are and 2) go out of their way to make sure they provide a safe alternative to any possibly allergen-contaminated snack at school events.  And I want to cry.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: kherbert05 on March 15, 2013, 06:54:21 AM
Stardrifter - Your husband's aunt takes the cake. I'm glad your DH and MIL had your back. Reminded me of a funny story.


I was traveling with our HS Drill team in Europe. We were at one of those touristy ethinic song and dance with traditional meal things. I was at a round table with 8 - 10 other girls. Suddenly in the middle of the meal a girl jumps up, leans across the table and jerks my plate away. Due to a pause in the music you could hear her scream - don't eat that.


Not a food dictator though - she thought she tasted peanuts in a mixed veg dish. Not something I was expecting in Scotland. We never did find out exactly what was in the dish - if it was peanuts, or something with a similar feel and taste. The girl's mother was a chaperon and she got me a sandwich from the hotel to eat that night. 
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on March 15, 2013, 07:17:44 AM
I will say that when I was a teen I hated the taste of alcohol but in getting older have developed a taste for things.  In my college years I thought wine tasted like battery acid.  Come to realize it was just the dry reds my parents loved.   Now I do like some whites and some reds, like merlot and sweet reds.

I used to also hate beer but now like some kinds and even like Guinness.  Though I have to be in the mood for that one. 
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: weeblewobble on March 15, 2013, 02:32:03 PM
I totally got Food Dictatored today by a sushi chef, but it actually worked out pretty well.  I ordered a roll but asked him to leave off the spicy tuna that was supposed to be on top of it.  Cue a flurry of confused, somewhat offended Japanese (on the chef's side) between the waitress and the chef.  He looked at me and asked, "Allergy?" I shook my head and said, "No, I just don't want it. Thank you."

He prepared my roll with a little grumbling and then a few minutes later, handed me another little plate with two bits of rice with some blowtorch-seared thin slices of meat on top of it.  It looked just like beef.  I'd ordered an appetizer involving beef, so I assumed that was what it was.  I took a big bite of the meat and realized, 1) it was NOT beef.  And 2) it was really, really good.

I asked the waitress what it was and it was seared tuna.  The chef grinned at me and said, "See?"  I took being "Dictatored" a lot better than I thought I would and burst out laughing.  I admitted that he was right, apologized for skipping the tuna and promised that I would leave the tuna on the roll when I ordered. 

I know under normal circumstances, I wouldn't appreciate this.  But I don't think the chef was trying to trick me.  And it all turned out OK
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: LadyDyani on March 15, 2013, 02:55:45 PM
I totally got Food Dictatored today by a sushi chef, but it actually worked out pretty well.  I ordered a roll but asked him to leave off the spicy tuna that was supposed to be on top of it.  Cue a flurry of confused, somewhat offended Japanese (on the chef's side) between the waitress and the chef.  He looked at me and asked, "Allergy?" I shook my head and said, "No, I just don't want it. Thank you."

He prepared my roll with a little grumbling and then a few minutes later, handed me another little plate with two bits of rice with some blowtorch-seared thin slices of meat on top of it.  It looked just like beef.  I'd ordered an appetizer involving beef, so I assumed that was what it was.  I took a big bite of the meat and realized, 1) it was NOT beef.  And 2) it was really, really good.

I asked the waitress what it was and it was seared tuna.  The chef grinned at me and said, "See?"  I took being "Dictatored" a lot better than I thought I would and burst out laughing.  I admitted that he was right, apologized for skipping the tuna and promised that I would leave the tuna on the roll when I ordered. 

I know under normal circumstances, I wouldn't appreciate this.  But I don't think the chef was trying to trick me.  And it all turned out OK

I love that.  One time we were at a Greek restaurant, and the owner was walking around the dining area and talking to the customers. When he reached our table, he asked what we had ordered, chatted a bit about the food, then asked why we hadn't ordered any hummus.  When I mentioned that humus wasn't to my taste, he insisted that I may not like hummus from other restaurants, but I would like his.  Then he went to the kitchen and brought out some hummus, free of charge.  He was right, it was delicious.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on March 15, 2013, 06:20:47 PM
I could understand that.  I've come to the decision that I will never order a gyro from anything but a Greek restaurant.  We have a Greek takeout place in town and the gyro I had there was to die for delicious.   Another place on our side of town opened and they serve a variety of cuisines, Chinese, American subs, and some Greek food.  I ordered their gyro and just...blech.  The meat was bland, they had celery sauce and it was so runny that I ended up throwing it away after a few bites. 

So I've learned it's truly better to just trust a nation's cuisine to a restaurant that specializes in that cuisine.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: ladyknight1 on March 15, 2013, 06:25:25 PM
We have a fantastic Greek restaurant near my workplace, but none near my home. Same with Chinese, but we do have one good Japanese restaurant near home.

Thing is, I crave Greek and Chinese food when at home, and Japanese food when I am at work.  ::)
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on March 15, 2013, 06:44:38 PM
For a long time I found myself craving Chik-Fil-A on Sundays...and only on Sundays, the one day they're always closed.  I did end up trying it and well, my cravings ended.  I just wasn't real impressed and figured I was getting my cravings on Sundays for a reason. LOL
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: AmethystAnne on March 15, 2013, 07:01:16 PM
For a long time I found myself craving Chik-Fil-A on Sundays...and only on Sundays, the one day they're always closed.  I did end up trying it and well, my cravings ended.  I just wasn't real impressed and figured I was getting my cravings on Sundays for a reason. LOL

I go to Chik-Fil-a once in awhile for the cheesecake. It's good, and I make a point not to share it.  ;D
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: ladyknight1 on March 15, 2013, 07:08:33 PM
They don't have cheesecake any more.  :(
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: Black Delphinium on March 15, 2013, 08:05:58 PM
I could understand that.  I've come to the decision that I will never order a gyro from anything but a Greek restaurant.  We have a Greek takeout place in town and the gyro I had there was to die for delicious.   Another place on our side of town opened and they serve a variety of cuisines, Chinese, American subs, and some Greek food.  I ordered their gyro and just...blech.  The meat was bland, they had celery sauce and it was so runny that I ended up throwing it away after a few bites. 

So I've learned it's truly better to just trust a nation's cuisine to a restaurant that specializes in that cuisine.
What about at a Turkish place?
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on March 15, 2013, 08:26:01 PM
Well I've never eaten at a Turkish place but I wouldn't write them off as far as gyro's go.  Though I'd expect them to be a bit different but still plenty tasty. 
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: KenveeB on March 15, 2013, 09:25:48 PM
For a long time I found myself craving Chik-Fil-A on Sundays...and only on Sundays, the one day they're always closed.  I did end up trying it and well, my cravings ended.  I just wasn't real impressed and figured I was getting my cravings on Sundays for a reason. LOL

I go to Chik-Fil-a once in awhile for the cheesecake. It's good, and I make a point not to share it.  ;D

I really like their chicken, egg, and cheese bagel for breakfast. Mmmm. They're also one of the few fast food places that are pretty safe to go on a diet. The fruit cup sides are awesome, and they have a couple of grilled chicken options that are pretty good.

I'll admit, though, I started eating their solely because of their advertising. (The cows) I love it so much, I thought I'd better support them so they'd stick around. :)
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: ladyknight1 on March 15, 2013, 09:35:11 PM
No meals are more than 600 calories, so it is a good choice. Also, I am a brewed unsweetened iced tea fanatic, and that is one of the safe places I can always trust. I love the coleslaw, nuggets, and Chicken minis.
Title: Re: S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators
Post by: AmethystAnne on March 15, 2013, 11:25:57 PM
They don't have cheesecake any more.  :(

Awwww man, that's just not right. :(