Etiquette Hell

Hostesses With The Mostest => Entertaining and Hospitality => Topic started by: ladiedeathe on February 28, 2013, 06:48:46 PM

Title: Asking for food without "stretchers"
Post by: ladiedeathe on February 28, 2013, 06:48:46 PM
I couldn't think of what else to title this, so I'll try to be clear. This question comes from something that happened last year, when a good friend was staying with us for a month as a guest. It isn't terribly serious, but I've had it happen before and I'm interested in other's opinions.

When I have guests over, I try to match our meals to their tastes, and preferred meal times/sizes. If they like their heaviest meal at noon and a light meal in the evening, fine. Other way around, fine too. Whatever the big meal is, I make more than enough, and it is well prepared. For the lighter meal there is enough food, but it might be sandwiches, or tuna salad or pizza- not so "serious".

That day, I was making tuna salad for lunch, for 4 of us- my family plus guest. When I make tuna salad, I add chopped egg (I grew up in a home with 4 kids and 2 adults, stretchers like egg were often used to allow one big can of tuna to feed us kids). It tastes good, so I never thought about it.

My friend stopped me before I could put it in, and said he wanted just tuna and mayo in his tuna salad. Without the egg, relish, and onion, this meant that for him to have a tuna sub like the rest of us, he got almost an entire can of tuna to himself, and I had to open a second one.

It wasn't a big deal, but it made me start thinking. I've had a friend ask for no celery in her lobster roll- meaning she got "pure" lobster with mayo, and probably a third more meat than the rest of us. I've had other friends who took tiny amounts of veggies but loaded up on roast portions. Roast with potatoes and carrots isn't just a more balanced meal- it's also a way not to serve a pound of meat each! In each case there was more than enough food and no one was left hungry by peoples' actions.

I'm curious- would you all say it's rude for someone to (presumably politely) request their food in such a way as to get more of the most expensive ingredient, and little or none of the "filler" or side items?
Title: Re: Asking for food without "stretchers"
Post by: SamiHami on February 28, 2013, 07:24:13 PM
Interesting question. I think much of it can be explained as simple aversions to particular ingredients. I despise celery, and find it ruins any dish that it is in, so I can relate to your example with the lobster rolls. Same thing with your tuna example. I was raised on tuna/mayo only sandwiches, so that's "normal" to me. I think when we entertain we just need to do as you have yourself-making sure that there is an abundance of food available so that it doesn't really matter if someone takes more roast than you would expect.

All that being said, yes, it would be rude to take a gigantic hunk of roast, especially if others have not yet been served. Better to take a moderate amount and then, if the opportunity presents itself, have seconds.

Anyone else reminded the Mary Tyler Moore show episode where Mary had a dinner party, and Lou took what amounted to 1/2 of the food meant for the entire group? he would up awkwardly putting the majority back on the serving platter. Veal Prince Olaf, I think it was.
Title: Re: Asking for food without "stretchers"
Post by: flowersintheattic on February 28, 2013, 07:48:33 PM
I agree with SamiHami - I think a lot of it comes down to how people prefer their food, rather than them knowingly messing up the amounts. I'm from a big food stretching family, too - tuna salad was tuna, celery, pickle relish, mayo, and whatever else happened to be laying around that could go in. When I've had something like that with a friend, she's asked how I make it and we compromise.

The roast example was rude.
Title: Re: Asking for food without "stretchers"
Post by: Dazi on February 28, 2013, 08:03:44 PM
I think it really depends.

If their goal is to get more of the "good" stuff, I'd vote inconsiderate. If it's something I wouldn't expect in the "normal" version, I'd give a pass. If it's because of a food allergy or food aversion, I'd also give a pass (says the girl with both).  I personally hate when people out egg in things like potato salad or macaroni salad or raisins in chicken salad, even though it falls into the "normal" version (but then again, I'm allergic to eggs and raisins shall not pass these lips).


That being said, I've never known anyone who put egg in tuna salad. Tuna salad while I was growing up had relish and mayo, sometimes apple.  I like it best with sweet relish, onions, celery,and apple.  I do have a friend that does this totally bizarre looking one with shredded carrots, raisins and apples.  The celery thing I also get.  I love celery, but it is VERY strong to some people.
Title: Re: Asking for food without "stretchers"
Post by: oceanus on February 28, 2013, 08:19:32 PM
@ SamiHami
Quote
Anyone else reminded the Mary Tyler Moore show episode where Mary had a dinner party, and Lou took what amounted to 1/2 of the food meant for the entire group? he would up awkwardly putting the majority back on the serving platter. Veal Prince Olaf, I think it was.

YES!  It was Veal Prince Orloff. :D (I think Sue Anne Nivens/Betty White helped make it.)
Title: Re: Asking for food without "stretchers"
Post by: NyaChan on February 28, 2013, 08:21:19 PM
The first time I had egg in tuna salad was when I visited a prison - after that, I absolutely can't stomach it.  In the tuna and lobster roll example, I think it is very likely that the added ingredient didn't suit them, rather than it being the guest trying to get more of the good stuff.  Really - a can of tuna is not that much of a luxury item.  The roast incident, well that would have bugged me a lot if they were doing it on purpose but not so much if they genuinely don't like the side items.
Title: Re: Asking for food without "stretchers"
Post by: siamesecat2965 on February 28, 2013, 08:52:56 PM
I agree with those who say its more that they don't like certain ingredients, than trying to get more of the "good stuff" I detest hard boiled eggs, and relish, so that in tuna would basically make it inedible for me. My mom, on the other hand, loves sweet relish, and adds it to tuna. So when we have it when I visit, she makes it without, splits it, and adds relish to her "half"

I also can't stand celery, so if someone were making lobster rolls, and putting celery in, it would never occur to me that by asking them to leave it out i was taking more than my share.

A roast, however, or a single dish, not mixed, yes, that's rude when you take a larger than normal portion, and ignore the rest of the food. Kind of along the lines of picking meat or cheese, say, out of a pasta salad.
Title: Re: Asking for food without "stretchers"
Post by: cicero on February 28, 2013, 09:25:04 PM
As pp's said, asking to leave out ingredients would be more because of taste,not to get more of the good stuff. Personally I prefer the  tuna with more fillers! But I do get What you say in that now you would need to use more of the expensive stuff. I am actually sometimes on the other side of this'd when someone throws a bagel brunch that consists of bagels spreads and veggies, salmoin, tuna. The veggies are there to go *on*the bagel as condiments, but I sometimes prefer to not eat carbs, especially bagels which-while I do dearly love 'em - are very high in calories/carbs. So I'll tend to take a lot more of the veggies. I hop that isn't rude...
Title: Re: Asking for food without "stretchers"
Post by: blarg314 on March 01, 2013, 01:56:42 AM

I'd vote for "It depends"

In the first two examples, if I were making the sandwiches, the one without filler would simply have less volume of filling, so the same amount of the premium ingredient. Like at Subway - if I order a sub with no toppings, I get less stuff in my sub rather than more tuna. So there it may have been a matter of interpretation - your guest was thinking "I don't like hard boiled eggs" and you were hearing "Give me more than my share of tuna".

In the last case, with the roast, I think it depends on how much of the roast they took.  If they took more than their share, based on the size of the roast and the number of people, then they were being rude. But if you had six people, and they took 1/6 or less of the available main course, then I would say it's just a matter of preference rather than rudeness. If you planned to have leftovers for later, and you're entertaining guests, then it's better to slice of the portion you want to reserve before serving.

Title: Re: Asking for food without "stretchers"
Post by: Sharnita on March 01, 2013, 07:35:14 AM
I agree that it is because they do not like X,  not because they are trying to get more of Y. And it is a tuna sandwich or a lobster roll.  It is not unreasonable to ask for it without minor add-ins.
Title: Re: Asking for food without "stretchers"
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on March 01, 2013, 07:52:06 AM
I wouldn't consider tuna fish (canned that is) to be considered a luxury item since often they go for about 4 cans for $5, sometimes 5 for $5. 

Roast and lobster however? Definitely and I think someone who deliberately helps themselves to the lion's share is rude, but someone who simply has food aversions/allergies, not so much.
Title: Re: Asking for food without "stretchers"
Post by: Zilla on March 01, 2013, 09:02:36 AM
I don't like fillers in salads or crab cakes etc.  I'm more of a purist when it comes to flavors.  I don't like muddled flavors.  like eggsalad, I prefer just mustard, mayo and egg with beau monde seasoning.  I never looked at it as wanting more of the expensive ingredient.  Interesting way of looking at it.
Title: Re: Asking for food without "stretchers"
Post by: Sophia on March 01, 2013, 09:14:55 AM
I don't like fillers in salads or crab cakes etc.  I'm more of a purist when it comes to flavors.  I don't like muddled flavors.  like eggsalad, I prefer just mustard, mayo and egg with beau monde seasoning.  I never looked at it as wanting more of the expensive ingredient.  Interesting way of looking at it.

Me, too, on the muddling.  I'd be tickled pink to have half an egg salad sandwich and half a tuna salad sandwich.  But I'd be disappointed in the muddled version. 
I've also never liked relish except in Braunsweger dip.  As a kid I used to make tuna salad sandwiches for the family.  We used to put them on buns and then inside a paper bag in the oven.  I loved that because I could leave out the relish on mine and my parents didn't know.
It is funny that my toddler is very anti-muddling too.  I was eating chili nachos the other day.  She wanted some "clean" chips.  So, I dug in my nachos for some without chili or cheese.  Then she wanted some chili (she is another Wolf fan).
Title: Re: Asking for food without "stretchers"
Post by: Yvaine on March 01, 2013, 09:37:02 AM
I think this is just one of those things that people think about when they're the cook, but that flies right out of their mind when they're the eater. It happens to me. I've been making a lot of stir-fry lately and I'm always impressed with how much more food I can make if I have some broccoli to put in it, because it takes up so much space. And then when I go to a restaurant, I find myself getting annoyed because my food is so full of broccoli!  ;D
Title: Re: Asking for food without "stretchers"
Post by: Sharnita on March 01, 2013, 09:58:00 AM
Actually, if I were the cook I would not mix in relish, onion or celery into the dishes mentione.  Never even heard of eggs in tuna so that wouldn't really occur to me.  If I knew some of my guests/family really liked that stuff I might offer it so they could mix it in or make some with, some without  but I definitely wouldn't add things I don't like just to stretch the food.  I'd rather go without than choke down the food with stuff I actively disliked.
Title: Re: Asking for food without "stretchers"
Post by: QueenofAllThings on March 01, 2013, 12:07:48 PM
Unless I am violently allergic to something, I would never tell my host how to prepare a dish. That is putting my desires in front of everybody else's, and/or requiring extra work on the host's part. 

Unless you are specifically asked ("Do you want mayo on your sandwich?"), I believe in eating what you are given.
Title: Re: Asking for food without "stretchers"
Post by: bopper on March 01, 2013, 12:14:39 PM
My husband hates celery, so if he did that it wouldn't be because he wanted more lobster, but less celery.
Title: Re: Asking for food without "stretchers"
Post by: Yvaine on March 01, 2013, 12:21:04 PM
Unless I am violently allergic to something, I would never tell my host how to prepare a dish. That is putting my desires in front of everybody else's, and/or requiring extra work on the host's part. 

Unless you are specifically asked ("Do you want mayo on your sandwich?"), I believe in eating what you are given.

I think it also can depend on whether it's already made when the guest gets there. Like...with a tuna salad, I'd say normally it's all mixed up before the guest even gets there, and there's not really a way to pick out an ingredient retroactively whether you like the host's particular tuna salad recipe or not. But if it's more like assembling cold cut sandwiches on the spot, I don't think there's a problem with asking for no tomatoes on it or something.
Title: Re: Asking for food without "stretchers"
Post by: camlan on March 01, 2013, 12:32:57 PM
I don't eat eggs. I'm not allergic to them, but the taste, the texture, the smell all turn my stomach. Eggs are pretty much the only food I can't choke down in the name of politeness. I know it's all in my head, but I feel nauseated all day if I eat the least bit of egg.

So if I saw my hostess in the process of making tuna salad and there were eggs involved, I'd ask nicely if she could put aside a portion for me without the eggs. In the case of a lunch of tuna subs, there probably wouldn't be much else in the meal, so I wouldn't be able to fill up on sides. And there's no way I could eat tuna salad with egg in it.

If it were something like mushrooms, which I don't like, but I can eat without problems, I'd keep my mouth shut and just eat the mushrooms. And I prefer Miracle Whip to mayo, but I'd never mention that, either. If I kept my mouth shut about the egg in the tuna salad, I'd have to come up with an excuse as to why I wasn't eating the main part of the meal, but filling up on carrot sticks (or whatever else was on the table) instead. Would a host want to prepare a meal for a guest and then not have the guest eat it?

But I wouldn't expect more tuna in my sandwich. I'd expect the host to remove a portion of the tuna, say 1/4 if there are four people, and mix that with whatever else was being added and use that for my sandwich. If that meant I had a lot of mayo and relish, then I'd eat a lot of mayo and relish along with the tuna.
Title: Re: Asking for food without "stretchers"
Post by: Redneck Gravy on March 01, 2013, 12:43:06 PM
Unless I am violently allergic to something, I would never tell my host how to prepare a dish. That is putting my desires in front of everybody else's, and/or requiring extra work on the host's part. 

Unless you are specifically asked ("Do you want mayo on your sandwich?"), I believe in eating what you are given.

I will eat anything put in front of me (except coconut), I was also raised to eat what is set in front of ya.  I eat beets, calf fries, frogs legs, liver, etc...there just isn't much I don't like.  Now I would never order pancakes in a restaurant but if a host makes them I will eat them. 

I am deathly allergic to mushrooms (cream of mushroom soup sends me to the hospital) but I would never order someone to avoid it.  Anytime I am served something new or at a new place I will discreetly ask what is in.    I posted something several years ago about a dish that was made with cream of mushroom soup that I had put on my plate - I moved it around a lot and then got rid of it. 

And as far as tuna salad goes - I mix canned tuna with boiled egg and mayonnaise.  Maybe a little mustard & garlic powder and occasionally horseradish but I have never heard of tuna salad without eggs.  I learn something new on eHell everyday. 
Title: Re: Asking for food without "stretchers"
Post by: Hmmmmm on March 01, 2013, 01:15:17 PM
I'm agreeing with the others that don't believe the friends were trying to get more of the good stuff, just letting you know their preference on how they like their sandwiches.

For tuna salad, my mom always made with grated dill pickes, grated apples, lemon juice, mayo, and salt and pepper. To me the extras weren't to stretch the ingredient but to make canned tuna actually taste good. If someone added an egg to their salad, I wouldn't think it was to stretch the can of tuna but a flavor preference. Honestly, I'd never go to the trouble of boiling and peeling a couple of eggs to save the cost of opening an additional $1 can of tuna.

On the lobster roll issue, I agree that I find celery overpowering and would prefer it not be in my lobster roll. But I wouldn't expect to get more lobster on my roll than the ones who had the lobster/celery combo. I don't like cheese on my ham sandwhiches. I don't expect more ham on my sandwich to compensate for the lack of cheese.

I do agree it can be a challenge to portion out a group protein like a roast. But I always find there are some who prefer a small abount of protein and a larger volume of the meat and others who just don't like potatoes/carrots cooked with that way (my kids don't). But that doesn't mean a person should get a larger portion of protein. They should take a reasonable portion and only go back for seconds if after everyone else has gotten their first serving.
Title: Re: Asking for food without "stretchers"
Post by: wolfie on March 01, 2013, 01:17:47 PM
And as far as tuna salad goes - I mix canned tuna with boiled egg and mayonnaise.  Maybe a little mustard & garlic powder and occasionally horseradish but I have never heard of tuna salad without eggs.  I learn something new on eHell everyday.

I have never heard of tuna salad with apples. it's really interesting to see what other people consider staples in their meals.
Title: Re: Asking for food without "stretchers"
Post by: Sharnita on March 01, 2013, 01:19:15 PM
Unless I am violently allergic to something, I would never tell my host how to prepare a dish. That is putting my desires in front of everybody else's, and/or requiring extra work on the host's part. 

Unless you are specifically asked ("Do you want mayo on your sandwich?"), I believe in eating what you are given.

In this case, I don't see it as requiring more work.  She has the mayo and tuna no matter what - the guest is saying "At that point you can put mine on the bread and call it good." 
Title: Re: Asking for food without "stretchers"
Post by: Erich L-ster on March 01, 2013, 01:21:39 PM
I have never heard of putting apple or egg in tuna salad and honestly, I don't think I could eat it without my face turning green.

What do you do if you accept the offer of a tuna sandwich thinking tuna+mayo=yum and you're served something with egg or apples in it? I really don't think I could choke it down with a non-disgusted look on my face.

How do you deal with that without insulting your host or appearing ungrateful?
Title: Re: Asking for food without "stretchers"
Post by: turnip on March 01, 2013, 01:29:10 PM
Honestly, I think the lesson here is that egg salad/tuna salad/chicken salad are best saved for guests who's preferences you know well!  ;-)  Personally I have food texture issues and find the idea of 'crunchy' items like celery or apples in an sandwich simply nauseating.  If I were a guest I'd probably politely decline and hope I could avoid a rumbling stomach.
Title: Re: Asking for food without "stretchers"
Post by: Hmmmmm on March 01, 2013, 01:50:22 PM
And as far as tuna salad goes - I mix canned tuna with boiled egg and mayonnaise.  Maybe a little mustard & garlic powder and occasionally horseradish but I have never heard of tuna salad without eggs.  I learn something new on eHell everyday.

I have never heard of tuna salad with apples. it's really interesting to see what other people consider staples in their meals.

Your not alone.  My DH thought I was off my rocker the first time he saw me grating an apple into tuna. He now only eats it with grated apples. I just did a google search on tuna and grated apples and only saw a view hits. One was a woman blogging that her Texan husband had grown up eating it like that because that's how his mom and grandma made it. So maybe it was a "Texas" thing.

There are more recipes with diced apples, but we always have to grate them as we don't like the crunchy texture of the diced apple.
Title: Re: Asking for food without "stretchers"
Post by: stitchygreyanonymouse on March 01, 2013, 02:56:07 PM
And as far as tuna salad goes - I mix canned tuna with boiled egg and mayonnaise.  Maybe a little mustard & garlic powder and occasionally horseradish but I have never heard of tuna salad without eggs.  I learn something new on eHell everyday.

I have never heard of tuna salad with apples. it's really interesting to see what other people consider staples in their meals.

Your not alone.  My DH thought I was off my rocker the first time he saw me grating an apple into tuna. He now only eats it with grated apples. I just did a google search on tuna and grated apples and only saw a view hits. One was a woman blogging that her Texan husband had grown up eating it like that because that's how his mom and grandma made it. So maybe it was a "Texas" thing.

There are more recipes with diced apples, but we always have to grate them as we don't like the crunchy texture of the diced apple.

The first time I ever had one with grated apple was in VT.

POD to the other posters who said for the salad cases, at least, it likely has more to do with preference, not wanting the "good" stuff.

I’ve never thought of those ingredients as stretchers in my tuna salad… just regional variations on the recipe. I don’t think I‘ve ever had just a tuna and mayo sandwich, in fact (unless it was tuna steak, not canned tuna).
Title: Re: Asking for food without "stretchers"
Post by: Mikayla on March 01, 2013, 03:33:56 PM
Maybe it's just me, but I think canned tuna has changed (and not in a good way).  I used to be able to eat the chunk light tuna in tuna melts, but the flavor seems to have deteriorated I can't use it even in that.  I'm stuck with solid white, which I don't think of as being cheap.

Anyway, I don't fault the guy in the OP that much, although I personally would have eaten it.  Also, when I'm making tuna or chicken salad for others, I generally put a lot in it, and if they're standing right there, I'll ask about prefs first.  I've put everything from grapes to chutney to scallions to pecans to pineapple in my chicken salad.

Title: Re: Asking for food without "stretchers"
Post by: rose red on March 01, 2013, 03:48:20 PM
I'm with those who think it's the taste and not simply wanting the "good stuff."  I don't like fruit in chicken salad, but that seems to be the new fangled way of doing it.  It never occurred to me the fruit made it stretch until this thread.  I just never thought about it even though it's obvious when pointed out.

On the other hand, even if I only take a small portion of vegetables, I would never take more than my fair share of a roast to "make up" for it.
Title: Re: Asking for food without "stretchers"
Post by: Judah on March 01, 2013, 04:37:25 PM
It would never occur to me that canned tuna is something that needs to be stretched and I would assume that any other ingredients that are added to the salad are for flavor only.  In my neck of the woods eggs aren't any cheaper than tuna, so to me, that wouldn't even make sense.  I can see myself asking to have something like eggs, apples, raisins, etc,  left out of my salad, as that doesn't sound like something I would want to eat. But it would be solely due to the taste, not to get more of the "premium" ingredient.
Title: Re: Asking for food without "stretchers"
Post by: Deetee on March 01, 2013, 04:54:31 PM

In order

1) Tuna: It would never, ever, ever occur to me that tuna is an ingredient that requires stretching. Canned tuna (to me) is the cheapest type of protein one can get. When we run out of cat food, the cat often gets tuna and the price is not that different. I also buy more expensive eggs so the price differential between tuna and eggs is not huge.

I might not ask to have the egg left out because of an "eat cheerfully what you are served" mentality, but with a close friend, I would ask for no egg.

2) Lobster: Assuming I asked for no celery, I would expect to get a slightly smaller portion (same amount of lobster as I would have with the celery) of the lobster.

3) Roast: I would not look to amount of roast versus side dishes, but amount of roast versus people at table and take an appropriate portion.

Just because I think it's fun: If there were 5 people and one roast, I know that most people I have dinner with would take 1/10 of the meat on the first round. Then people would have seconds and thirds, but NO-ONE will take the last slice.
Title: Re: Asking for food without "stretchers"
Post by: VorFemme on March 01, 2013, 06:12:40 PM
Canned tuna for humans has something in it that cats can't properly digest - I just don't remember what it is.  It is one of those things that isn't a problem as a 'rare treat" but is a problem if the owners try to feed the cat canned tuna instead of tuna cat food.

I personally can't eat any version of tuna salad, I think that I may have gotten food poisoning at a family picnic before I was in second grade - because the aversion to tuna salad sandwiches goes back as far as I have any memory of being offered one - and the smell is what causes the aversion.....which reaction is very similar to two other things that I react to that I *know* I had an episode of food poisoning with.

Lobster & roast - I can see where some people prefer their protein unadulterated with fruit, veggies, heavy seasonings that mask the flavor, or the like - but not liking the add-ons doesn't always mean that they get a bigger serving of JUST the expensive protein.   It kind of depends on if the hosts serve the plates or the guest loads up with half the Veal Prince Orlaff and just assumes that there is always "more in the kitchen".

Because there may be more in the kitchen, the recipe may only serve the number of people at the table, or the hostess may have scraped the budget bare to get that special dish made for the dinner party - so grab extra at extreme risk of exposing yourself as a greedy bore.  (People do expose themselves as greedy bores - so it happens.)
Title: Re: Asking for food without "stretchers"
Post by: CakeEater on March 01, 2013, 07:43:04 PM
Sometimes it mightn't be about two tins of tuna being too expensive, and more about two tins being too much tuna, but one being not enough.

If I asked for food without the stretcher, I'd expect to receive a smaller portion than everyone else.
Title: Re: Asking for food without "stretchers"
Post by: ladiedeathe on March 01, 2013, 08:17:21 PM
For me the tuna wasn't about cost, it was about having a weird amount of left overs.

I love the variety of answers that have come in, and they are pretty much in line with what I was thinking. I've got no issue at all with leaving out ingredients for people who don't like them- if you hate celery why eat celery? My issue has always been a weird discomfort when it it hugely possible that someone is just being a bit piggy (or a bit thoughtless).
Title: Re: Asking for food without "stretchers"
Post by: Outdoor Girl on March 01, 2013, 08:41:20 PM
What I'd probably do, when asked to make something without an ingredient, is portion out the main ingredient for the people eating.

So if there were 4 of us, I'd set aside 1/4 for the person who didn't want the extra ingredient(s) and mix everything up separately 3/4 and 1/4.  If the 1/4 portion ends up being smaller overall, oh well.  They can eat more of the sides.

OP, if you were making your tuna salad for me, I'd tell you to put in more eggs and hold the tuna.   ;D  I like egg salad sandwiches but never make them for myself.  And I hate tuna.
Title: Re: Asking for food without "stretchers"
Post by: snowdragon on March 01, 2013, 10:57:06 PM
Unless I am violently allergic to something, I would never tell my host how to prepare a dish. That is putting my desires in front of everybody else's, and/or requiring extra work on the host's part. 

Unless you are specifically asked ("Do you want mayo on your sandwich?"), I believe in eating what you are given.

This. especially on the first sentence.
Title: Re: Asking for food without "stretchers"
Post by: Erich L-ster on March 01, 2013, 11:28:59 PM
What if your host serves, just to use an extreme example, meatloaf with tuna in the middle and chocolate sauce with whipped cream on top? How do you eat that without looking like you're under torture? How do you get out of eating it as politely as possible? What do you do?
Title: Re: Asking for food without "stretchers"
Post by: MariaE on March 02, 2013, 12:52:09 AM
What if your host serves, just to use an extreme example, meatloaf with tuna in the middle and chocolate sauce with whipped cream on top? How do you eat that without looking like you're under torture? How do you get out of eating it as politely as possible? What do you do?

Well, you can always use the technique from "Friends". "This meal is so good I want to eat it on the terrasse so I get a view to match." and then hope Joey will come deal with it ;)

No? Okay then ;)

But honestly, unless there's something in the mix that you simply can't eat, you just cope. Putting on a game face is part of growing up.

And then you just eat a little bit and apologize, "I'm sorry, I had a big lunch."
Title: Re: Asking for food without "stretchers"
Post by: kudeebee on March 02, 2013, 01:31:08 AM
What I'd probably do, when asked to make something without an ingredient, is portion out the main ingredient for the people eating.

So if there were 4 of us, I'd set aside 1/4 for the person who didn't want the extra ingredient(s) and mix everything up separately 3/4 and 1/4.  If the 1/4 portion ends up being smaller overall, oh well.  They can eat more of the sides.

OP, if you were making your tuna salad for me, I'd tell you to put in more eggs and hold the tuna.   ;D  I like egg salad sandwiches but never make them for myself.  And I hate tuna.

I agree with this.

As to the roast issue--if there were guests other than your family you could always plate the roast for everyone and let them add their own vegetables. As people are starting to finish, you could mention you have more roast and go get it.
Title: Re: Asking for food without "stretchers"
Post by: Katana_Geldar on March 02, 2013, 03:52:55 PM
What if your host serves, just to use an extreme example, meatloaf with tuna in the middle and chocolate sauce with whipped cream on top? How do you eat that without looking like you're under torture? How do you get out of eating it as politely as possible? What do you do?

I'd wonder if she was pregnant. Then I'd probably try and get away.

Tuna salad with eggs, apple or relish? Never ward of that. Mine I got from my Mum. It's tuna, shell pasta, mayo, pickled onions, gherkins and celery, served on a bed of lettuce. It's not ago extending the salad, just making it more pleasant to eat. Sort of like rice in a jambalaya.

Now imagine if someone asked for no rice in their jambalaya?
Title: Re: Asking for food without "stretchers"
Post by: TylerBelle on March 02, 2013, 03:54:19 PM
I loathe boiled egg whites and celery is only good for eating with peanut butter or pimento cheese smeared into its crevices. Anyhoo, as mentioned, I would put on a game face and dive into a host's egg white / celery -infused dishes. Unless the food was to be assembled according to preference.

Perhaps the guests were just stating what they like on their food without any thought of getting more of one ingredient. Though I agree with Deetee about even  if someone wants less of the stretchers, that doesn't mean they should get to substitute with more of the main ingredient. And if what's spread on their bread is somewhat thinner than other folks', well, that's just the way it goes.


@ SamiHami
Quote
Anyone else reminded the Mary Tyler Moore show episode where Mary had a dinner party, and Lou took what amounted to 1/2 of the food meant for the entire group? he would up awkwardly putting the majority back on the serving platter. Veal Prince Olaf, I think it was.

YES!  It was Veal Prince Orloff. :D (I think Sue Anne Nivens/Betty White helped make it.)
I remember this. Hee! I believe also Rhoda brought an unexpected date (played by Henry Winkler) to the party and she had to share her dinner.
Title: Re: Asking for food without "stretchers"
Post by: Yvaine on March 02, 2013, 03:56:33 PM
What if your host serves, just to use an extreme example, meatloaf with tuna in the middle and chocolate sauce with whipped cream on top? How do you eat that without looking like you're under torture? How do you get out of eating it as politely as possible? What do you do?

Well, you can always use the technique from "Friends". "This meal is so good I want to eat it on the terrasse so I get a view to match." and then hope Joey will come deal with it ;)

No? Okay then ;)

But honestly, unless there's something in the mix that you simply can't eat, you just cope. Putting on a game face is part of growing up.

And then you just eat a little bit and apologize, "I'm sorry, I had a big lunch."

My aunt once got away with gushing about how rich the food was and how it was so rich she could only eat a little.  ;D
Title: Re: Asking for food without "stretchers"
Post by: Dorrie78 on March 04, 2013, 10:23:52 AM
I agree with those who say its more that they don't like certain ingredients, than trying to get more of the "good stuff" I detest hard boiled eggs, and relish, so that in tuna would basically make it inedible for me. My mom, on the other hand, loves sweet relish, and adds it to tuna. So when we have it when I visit, she makes it without, splits it, and adds relish to her "half"

I also can't stand celery, so if someone were making lobster rolls, and putting celery in, it would never occur to me that by asking them to leave it out i was taking more than my share.

A roast, however, or a single dish, not mixed, yes, that's rude when you take a larger than normal portion, and ignore the rest of the food. Kind of along the lines of picking meat or cheese, say, out of a pasta salad.
I also am trying to envision a lobster roll with 2 parts lobster to 1 part celery (as the example in the OP would indicate). I would think that unless you absolutely loved celery, this would be almost inedible. Most of the lobster rolls I've seen (and keep in mind that I'm originally from New England, so perhaps it is regional), are simply lobster meat and a little mayo on a buttered hot dog roll. If there would be something else in there, such as celery, I would expect it to be a very small amount to use as a flavoring or add crunch, not as a stretcher. And if one needs to include a stretcher in the lobster roll to make enough for everyone, maybe one should reconsider the dish altogether and not serve the lobster in a roll - serve it as some sort of an appetizer. Or maybe select a less-expensive main dish.
 
Title: Re: Asking for food without "stretchers"
Post by: TootsNYC on March 04, 2013, 10:57:15 AM
If you have a tuna salad without the "stretchers," then you don't get as thick a filling. Your sandwich has 1/4 can of tuna on it, and so it's thinner than the other ones.

In other words, this:

What I'd probably do, when asked to make something without an ingredient, is portion out the main ingredient for the people eating.

So if there were 4 of us, I'd set aside 1/4 for the person who didn't want the extra ingredient(s) and mix everything up separately 3/4 and 1/4.  If the 1/4 portion ends up being smaller overall, oh well.  They can eat more of the sides.

Title: Re: Asking for food without "stretchers"
Post by: Ms_Cellany on March 04, 2013, 11:13:07 AM
Canned tuna for humans has something in it that cats can't properly digest - I just don't remember what it is.  It is one of those things that isn't a problem as a 'rare treat" but is a problem if the owners try to feed the cat canned tuna instead of tuna cat food.

The problem is more that tuna lacks several nutrients that cats need (Vitamin E, calcium, etc.), so cats on a tuna-only diet will suffer nutitionally.  The mercury in it isn't good for them, either (nor for humans).

Source: SPCA (http://www.aspca.org/Pet-care/ask-the-expert/ask-the-expert-poison-control/canned-tuna.aspx (http://www.aspca.org/Pet-care/ask-the-expert/ask-the-expert-poison-control/canned-tuna.aspx))

We've given tuna to foster kittens when they're sick and not eating. It's like crack cocaine for kitties. Better to have a not-ideal food than no food at all.
Title: Re: Asking for food without "stretchers"
Post by: turnip on March 04, 2013, 12:28:05 PM
If you have a tuna salad without the "stretchers," then you don't get as thick a filling. Your sandwich has 1/4 can of tuna on it, and so it's thinner than the other ones.

In other words, this:

What I'd probably do, when asked to make something without an ingredient, is portion out the main ingredient for the people eating.

So if there were 4 of us, I'd set aside 1/4 for the person who didn't want the extra ingredient(s) and mix everything up separately 3/4 and 1/4.  If the 1/4 portion ends up being smaller overall, oh well.  They can eat more of the sides.

As a guest, I would try to be mindful of the amount of food available and not take more than my fair share.

As a host, I would be horrified if one of my guests felt like they had to carefully make sure they didn't over-spread their sandwiches.   I think it goes back to being thoughtful of what you are preparing, and what your guests preferences are.   If I know my guests like celery/pimento/olive laden tuna salad, then I'll make a big batch.   If I don't know if or how they like their tuna, then I'm going to ask around, take their preferences into consideration, and make sure everyone feels sated.   I don't want my guests worrying about whether or not they are consuming too much of the main item.
Title: Re: Asking for food without "stretchers"
Post by: Lynn2000 on March 04, 2013, 01:07:53 PM
I agree with most other people, that in most cases I think people are asking to NOT have an item they dislike--not thinking they can now get more of the rest. For the record, I don't generally eat tuna salad except that my mom makes, because I find people put all kinds of "weird" things in it that I don't like. I grew up with it being tuna, mayo, pickle relish, and hard-boiled egg. Sometimes we leave out the egg just because it's a pain to boil eggs. I think of these things more as "ingredients to make the food taste better," not fillers to make it stretch farther. I also dislike celery intensely and would rather have my lobster roll without it if that was an option--I wouldn't expect to get more lobster meat because of it.

In the roast example it sounds like people were being rude, if they took a lot more meat than their share. But, sometimes it's difficult to determine what your "share" is, and a lot of people don't even try (veteran of trying to order pizza for my office!). I think that's one of the hardest things about hosting, trying to figure out how much food you should have available for people, especially if you're serving an expensive specialty item. Honestly I think if you (generic) are deliberately using fillers to stretch a meal for your guests (barring extreme circumstances), you should rethink serving that particular food, or having guests at all. As a guest, I would try to take only my "share" of food, to avoid shorting other people or looking like a pig, but it would never occur to me to consider the host's finances as well. Another option is pre-dividing the food into the serving sizes you want and just giving that to people, rather than letting them decide.

It's debatable if the people were rude to ask the host to modify the meal at all, I think. It depends on the relationship and the circumstances. I would ask my mom or best friend to leave out an ingredient I didn't like, for sure. Or if the host asked me, I would say I didn't like a certain thing. If I had an actual restriction/allergy/gag reaction, I would mention it. If it's just not liking something (like celery), I would probably just eat it (or pick it out once served). But again I think it usually has to do with not liking ingredient X, rather than thinking they're going to get more of ingredient Y now. And you don't have to give them more of ingredient Y, just give them the same amount you would have before, even if the overall amount of food is less.

And for the tuna salad stuffed in meatloaf, covered in chocolate pudding, or whatever it was... :D Honestly if I liked all the component parts I would just eat them separately, and not eat the parts where they touched. If that offends the host and they don't want to invite me back... frankly I don't think I'd be too sad about that! Not that I would be deliberately trying to be rude, I would be trying to cheerfully make the best of the situation, but I'm not putting meatloaf and pudding in my mouth at the same time. I'm not a very adventurous eater but I don't have any actual restrictions/allergies, so if I'm just served something without a choice I'll try to make the best of it--eat the parts I can (and sometimes if I don't know what it is, I'll try it and find that I like it fine), fill up on sides, push the thing around on my plate, and hope no one quizzes me on it! :)
Title: Re: Asking for food without "stretchers"
Post by: WillyNilly on March 04, 2013, 01:35:43 PM
I just have to say the idea of relish in tuna salad is really weirding me out.  I love tuna and eat it often.  I've had it from grocery stores, deli's and diners.  And no where is relish part of it. relish seems to me a very odd ingredient, yet clearly to so many its quite normal...

A common 'stretcher' unknown to many in tuna from a deli or restaurant is actually bread or cracker crumbs.  Sometimes rice, but usually crumbs.  What the kitchen does is not drain the the tuna, then they add the crumbs which soak up the tuna water. Then they add the mayo (and perhaps celery and/or onion) and mix it up.  You can almost double the volume of "tuna" from a can this way.
Title: Re: Asking for food without "stretchers"
Post by: HenrysMom on March 04, 2013, 01:45:56 PM
This thread is making me go back to childhood, when my mom would make tuna and egg sandwiches with dill pickle relish on Wonder bread.  Yum!  I'd mix some up now, but it won't be the same w/o Wonder bread  :'(
Title: Re: Asking for food without "stretchers"
Post by: camlan on March 04, 2013, 02:05:39 PM
I just have to say the idea of relish in tuna salad is really weirding me out.  I love tuna and eat it often.  I've had it from grocery stores, deli's and diners.  And no where is relish part of it. relish seems to me a very odd ingredient, yet clearly to so many its quite normal...

A common 'stretcher' unknown to many in tuna from a deli or restaurant is actually bread or cracker crumbs.  Sometimes rice, but usually crumbs.  What the kitchen does is not drain the the tuna, then they add the crumbs which soak up the tuna water. Then they add the mayo (and perhaps celery and/or onion) and mix it up.  You can almost double the volume of "tuna" from a can this way.

I always use relish in my tuna. But the thought of egg in tuna salad--I don't know anyone who uses this and never heard of it until this thread. Because eggs are the one thing I can't eat, it's really weirding me out, because I've always thought of tuna salad as a safe food, and now I'm going to have to worry that someone, somewhere is going to serve me tuna salad with egg. Just the thought is making me shudder.

Relish, or pickles chopped up very fine, is used by pretty much everyone I know. I guess it's a regional thing.
Title: Re: Asking for food without "stretchers"
Post by: Yvaine on March 04, 2013, 02:09:51 PM
I just have to say the idea of relish in tuna salad is really weirding me out.  I love tuna and eat it often.  I've had it from grocery stores, deli's and diners.  And no where is relish part of it. relish seems to me a very odd ingredient, yet clearly to so many its quite normal...

A common 'stretcher' unknown to many in tuna from a deli or restaurant is actually bread or cracker crumbs.  Sometimes rice, but usually crumbs.  What the kitchen does is not drain the the tuna, then they add the crumbs which soak up the tuna water. Then they add the mayo (and perhaps celery and/or onion) and mix it up.  You can almost double the volume of "tuna" from a can this way.

I always use relish in my tuna. But the thought of egg in tuna salad--I don't know anyone who uses this and never heard of it until this thread. Because eggs are the one thing I can't eat, it's really weirding me out, because I've always thought of tuna salad as a safe food, and now I'm going to have to worry that someone, somewhere is going to serve me tuna salad with egg. Just the thought is making me shudder.

Relish, or pickles chopped up very fine, is used by pretty much everyone I know. I guess it's a regional thing.

Even when there aren't chunks of egg in tuna salad, I've almost always seen it with mayo (which contains eggs) in it, so it might not be safe for you anyway :(
Title: Re: Asking for food without "stretchers"
Post by: Katana_Geldar on March 04, 2013, 06:07:40 PM
Tuna salad can be made with sour cream, mine has half and half with mayo. Just add vinegar or have some pickled onions or gherkins to get more flavour.

BTW, I thought Americans called tuna 'tuna fish'.
Title: Re: Asking for food without "stretchers"
Post by: blarg314 on March 04, 2013, 07:38:23 PM

The variations are interesting. I grew up with tuna salad being tuna, Miracle whip, a little bit of mustard, finely diced onion and celery, and maybe some finely diced pickles (rather than relish), salt and pepper.

No hard boiled eggs, though, which I'm grateful for, as I'm not fond of hard boiled eggs in most contexts. I tend to take a small portion of potato salad until I can determine whether or not it's got egg chunks in it, or whether I want more.

Title: Re: Asking for food without "stretchers"
Post by: Sharnita on March 04, 2013, 08:06:19 PM
Here's what I am wondering - if the host feels comfortable speculating that the guest is being piggy for asking that the stretchers be left off, is it OK for the guest to speculate that the host is being stingy for adding "stretchers"?  I would have just assumed that both were asking out of taste preference before.
Title: Re: Asking for food without "stretchers"
Post by: baglady on March 04, 2013, 10:10:46 PM
I'm another who doesn't think of additions to something like tuna salad as "stretchers" -- they're just ingredients that are there to make it taste better. As someone who cringes at the idea of eggs in tuna salad, but probably makes others cringe with my love of cheese in tuna salad, I'd assume that if a guest wants an ingredient left out of his/her portion, it's because s/he has a problem with the ingredient, not because s/he wants a larger portion of the "good stuff."

The posts on what people like and don't like in tuna salad are fascinating! Maybe we should start serving tuna salad sandwiches by the "taco bar" method so people can mix in what they like!
Title: Re: Asking for food without "stretchers"
Post by: Sophia on March 04, 2013, 10:15:59 PM
...The posts on what people like and don't like in tuna salad are fascinating! Maybe we should start serving tuna salad sandwiches by the "taco bar" method so people can mix in what they like!

The filling needs time to meld, though
Title: Re: Asking for food without "stretchers"
Post by: Ms_Cellany on March 05, 2013, 10:02:38 AM
"Unmelded Tuna Salad" would be a good name for a rock band.
Title: Re: Asking for food without "stretchers"
Post by: Tilt Fairy on March 05, 2013, 10:07:20 AM
Canned tuna for humans has something in it that cats can't properly digest - I just don't remember what it is.  It is one of those things that isn't a problem as a 'rare treat" but is a problem if the owners try to feed the cat canned tuna instead of tuna cat food.

The problem is more that tuna lacks several nutrients that cats need (Vitamin E, calcium, etc.), so cats on a tuna-only diet will suffer nutitionally.  The mercury in it isn't good for them, either (nor for humans).

Source: SPCA (http://www.aspca.org/Pet-care/ask-the-expert/ask-the-expert-poison-control/canned-tuna.aspx (http://www.aspca.org/Pet-care/ask-the-expert/ask-the-expert-poison-control/canned-tuna.aspx))

We've given tuna to foster kittens when they're sick and not eating. It's like crack cocaine for kitties. Better to have a not-ideal food than no food at all.

Yep. This. It normally has high levels of mercury which is ok for human digestion but not good for cats. It's ok to feed very rarely like if you run out of cat food or something. You can't feed them off it frequently because of the mercury but also mainly because human canned Tuna doesn't contain something called Taurine which is the most essential nutrient for cats. If they don't get Taurine from their cat food every day, it can cause fatalities. That's also why complementary cat food (which usually doesn't contain taurine) can only be fed to cats every now and again as a treat.
Title: Re: Asking for food without "stretchers"
Post by: Katana_Geldar on March 05, 2013, 02:06:25 PM
But, mercury is toxic to humans too...
Title: Re: Asking for food without "stretchers"
Post by: violinp on March 05, 2013, 02:08:46 PM
But, mercury is toxic to humans too...

True, but adults/older kids can handle it in small doses, which is why certain kinds of fish are "forbidden" to pregnant women, because the amount of mercury would hurt the developing fetus.
Title: Re: Asking for food without "stretchers"
Post by: Ms_Cellany on March 05, 2013, 02:10:01 PM
I think it's time to re-post this summer's picture of baby Wicked, who was given tuna for medicinal purposes when she had a respiratory illness and stopped eating for several days because she couldn't smell her food.

(http://i822.photobucket.com/albums/zz144/Packie_Rattie/29b5b0f2.jpg)
Title: Re: Asking for food without "stretchers"
Post by: VorFemme on March 05, 2013, 03:49:59 PM
Canned tuna for humans has something in it that cats can't properly digest - I just don't remember what it is.  It is one of those things that isn't a problem as a 'rare treat" but is a problem if the owners try to feed the cat canned tuna instead of tuna cat food.

The problem is more that tuna lacks several nutrients that cats need (Vitamin E, calcium, etc.), so cats on a tuna-only diet will suffer nutitionally.  The mercury in it isn't good for them, either (nor for humans).

Source: SPCA (http://www.aspca.org/Pet-care/ask-the-expert/ask-the-expert-poison-control/canned-tuna.aspx (http://www.aspca.org/Pet-care/ask-the-expert/ask-the-expert-poison-control/canned-tuna.aspx))

We've given tuna to foster kittens when they're sick and not eating. It's like crack cocaine for kitties. Better to have a not-ideal food than no food at all.

Yep. This. It normally has high levels of mercury which is ok for human digestion but not good for cats. It's ok to feed very rarely like if you run out of cat food or something. You can't feed them off it frequently because of the mercury but also mainly because human canned Tuna doesn't contain something called Taurine which is the most essential nutrient for cats. If they don't get Taurine from their cat food every day, it can cause fatalities. That's also why complementary cat food (which usually doesn't contain taurine) can only be fed to cats every now and again as a treat.

Taurine was what I was trying to remember.

Mom was a science teacher when I was growing up - but she was no longer teaching by the time *I* got to high school.  So I might not have had the best teacher around, for ME.  The guys teaching at the high school that I went to concentrated on the guy students - what can I say, the early 1970s were a much less "enlightened" time. 

Mom was in research & working for a college by that point instead of teaching students from year 9 to 12.
Title: Re: Asking for food without "stretchers"
Post by: rose red on March 05, 2013, 07:10:07 PM
It's interesting to read so many people hate eggs.  I love it and hard boiled eggs are one of my favorite food.  I've never had eggs in tuna salad, but I may try it soon after hearing about it in this thread.  :D
Title: Re: Asking for food without "stretchers"
Post by: Rohanna on March 05, 2013, 08:16:10 PM
I love eggs, but I would definately find their unexpected inclusion in tuna...strange. Plus, where I live, not particularly cheaper than tuna. I can get a can of tuna for .69 cents a lot of the time, but eggs are often $4-5 a dozen.
Title: Re: Asking for food without "stretchers"
Post by: ladyknight1 on March 05, 2013, 08:53:26 PM
Mine is a texture issue, so I have to have something crunchy in my tuna or chicken salad to offset the soft salad on the bread. I like onion and bread and butter pickles in mine, egg sometimes, and a little mustard added. Chicken salad often has grapes, mandarin oranges and shallot.

My son and husband do not enjoy vegetables cooked with a roast, we have a roast cooked with garlic and onions served with mashed potatoes.

OTOH, I felt betrayed when I picked up a tuna salad boxed lunch that was loaded with black olives. No, thank you!
Title: Re: Asking for food without "stretchers"
Post by: Roe on March 08, 2013, 01:47:59 PM
Heh, interesting thread.  I've never even heard of relish in tuna but eggs, of course it's an ingredient in tuna. Everybody knows that! ;)   

If I were served tuna with relish, I wouldn't be able to eat it. Can't stand the stuff.  I don't know how I'd handle it if I accepted the dish not knowing that relish was part of the tuna. 
Title: Re: Asking for food without "stretchers"
Post by: mstigerlily on March 09, 2013, 10:04:05 PM
But, mercury is toxic to humans too...

True, but most humans weigh significantly more than cats.... I believe I weighed more as a baby than my one cat does now!
Title: Re: Asking for food without "stretchers"
Post by: Katana_Geldar on March 11, 2013, 06:42:51 PM
Made my bacon and egg potato salad again last night. It's with bacon, eggs, red onions, shallots, mayo and parsley.

But he likes the 'bits' better than the potatoes.
Title: Re: Asking for food without "stretchers"
Post by: MommyPenguin on March 11, 2013, 07:27:53 PM
I grew up calling it "tunafish," but most people nowadays just seem to say "tuna," so I do sometimes, too.  Although I haven't gone so far as to start calling soda/coke "pop."  So I don't think it's all Americans who call it tunafish, just some?  I don't know if it's regional, going out of fashion, or what.

I like mayo, sweet relish, and sometimes celery and/or lettuce in my tunafish.  Never egg.  I love hardboiled eggs and hardboiled egg sandwiches, I just can't imagine mixing that with tunafish.  Oh, and I don't like mayonnaise in other stuff, or on my bread when I make sandwiches, but I do like it mixed with tunafish.  I'm also not a big fan of when you get a tunafish sandwich somewhere and they use a ton of mayo and it's all drippy.  Ick.
Title: Re: Asking for food without "stretchers"
Post by: DavidH on March 13, 2013, 05:51:27 PM
I would say that it is rude to ask for your food to be prepared a specific way as a means of getting more of the expensive ingredient rather than the "filler", but unless you know for certain that is the reason why someone is making the request, then it is equally rude to attribute such motives to your guests. 

As an aside, if I had someone over who I was so conviced was trying to take advantage of me that they would scam me out of an additional portion of tuna, I'd reconsider whether I wanted to invite them at all.  Similarly, I'd be quite offended if I thought that my request for a tuna sandwhich without egg was interpreted by my friends as me sneakily trying to get more than my fair share of their tuna.
Title: Re: Asking for food without "stretchers"
Post by: Lynn2000 on March 14, 2013, 10:12:11 AM
I would say that it is rude to ask for your food to be prepared a specific way as a means of getting more of the expensive ingredient rather than the "filler", but unless you know for certain that is the reason why someone is making the request, then it is equally rude to attribute such motives to your guests. 

As an aside, if I had someone over who I was so conviced was trying to take advantage of me that they would scam me out of an additional portion of tuna, I'd reconsider whether I wanted to invite them at all.  Similarly, I'd be quite offended if I thought that my request for a tuna sandwhich without egg was interpreted by my friends as me sneakily trying to get more than my fair share of their tuna.

This is pretty much where I fall. I do think it's important to learn about the different perspectives people come from, so I appreciate knowing that someone might interpret my request to leave out an ingredient in this light. But, it's just not a motivation that would occur to me without additional evidence; and if I already suspected the person was that type of greedy, I don't think I would want to be entertaining them as a friend.
Title: Re: Asking for food without "stretchers"
Post by: Phoebe on April 07, 2013, 01:33:56 PM
I'm intrigued by some of the ways posters make their tuna sandwiches and intended to try egg in it the next time I make tuna for lunch.

One of the best tuna sandwiches I ever had was from TGI Friday's.  It's no longer on their menu here, but it was delicious....the add-ins were pineapple bits, thin chow mein noodles, and wasabi.   :)
Title: Re: Asking for food without "stretchers"
Post by: LibraryLady on April 12, 2013, 04:46:59 PM
One place here in town (and I have too) makes tuna with lots of add ins

red grapes, celery, apple, pecans, Miracle Whip (none of that Commie Pinko Mayo stuff  ;)  ) chopped pickles - either dills, bread 'n'butter, and it is placed on a toasted, split croissant uummm good.

Can do the same thing with chopped chicken
Title: Re: Asking for food without "stretchers"
Post by: Phoebe on April 13, 2013, 10:47:14 AM
One place here in town (and I have too) makes tuna with lots of add ins

red grapes, celery, apple, pecans, Miracle Whip (none of that Commie Pinko Mayo stuff  ;)  ) chopped pickles - either dills, bread 'n'butter, and it is placed on a toasted, split croissant uummm good.

Can do the same thing with chopped chicken

Chicken salad with chopped mandarin oranges is wonderful :)   

Bruegger's Bagels does lunch sandwiches to order.  My favorite there is tuna on a jalapeno cheddar bagel with cucumber and green pepper slices and spicy brown mustard. 

Making myself hungry here!!