Etiquette Hell

General Etiquette => Life...in general => Topic started by: strawbabies on March 08, 2013, 09:09:52 AM

Title: This is just low.
Post by: strawbabies on March 08, 2013, 09:09:52 AM
http://healthyliving.msn.com/pregnancy-parenting/healthy-household/why-chinese-women-are-faking-pregnancy

Apparently, there are women in China wearing silicone pads to fake being pregnant so they'll be offered seats on the bus! 
Title: Re: This is just low.
Post by: Shoo on March 08, 2013, 09:11:40 AM
That's sort of like the people around here who put mannequins in their passenger seats and drive in the HOV lanes!
Title: Re: This is just low.
Post by: WillyNilly on March 08, 2013, 09:22:29 AM
Its not really a new idea though. For decades women have arched their backs, pushed their bellys out and rubbed them hoping to score a seat on crowded train. Its obnoxious when its done to get someone to stand up, but I actually think its fine to do when the hope is to get some guy to close his outsteched legs taking up two seats, or to guilt someone to put their bags on the floor instead of taking up a seat.
Title: Re: This is just low.
Post by: Otterpop on March 08, 2013, 09:34:13 AM
Around here (Los Angeles), even being hugely pregnant won't get you a seat on the train.  I remember being 7 mos. and standing in front of the car because that was the only place left.  Everyone (men/women young and old) stared slack-jawed as I swayed, grip slipping on the overhead pole and struggled to stay standing.  I finally sat down on the floor and stared back.  No one flinched.

If they are compassionate enough to give up their seats, good on their culture.  Shame on the women who take advantage.
Title: Re: This is just low.
Post by: hobish on March 08, 2013, 09:55:27 AM

I think it's kind of funny. I wonder what they do with the fake bellies when they aren't wearing them. They're kind of bulky to just shove in a purse.
Title: Re: This is just low.
Post by: Venus193 on March 08, 2013, 10:09:46 AM
In New York getting a seat on the subway is not easy either.  Unless you're either seriously decrepit or obscenely pretty.
Title: Re: This is just low.
Post by: JenJay on March 08, 2013, 10:13:49 AM
I don't agree with it but at the same time I'm frustrated by the trend that premium spots should be reserved for those who are visibly pregnant or have young children with them. A lot of people have very valid reasons for wanting to sit down, park closer, get through a line quicker, etc. but you don't see anybody going out of their way to accommodate that (except, of course, for spots legally reserved for those with handicapped placards).

I'm not unsympathetic, I had 3 pregnancies. Middle DS was so big I had OB nurses asking how far overdue I was when I was only 36 weeks! My kids are close in age so at one point I had a newborn, 15 month old and barely 3 year old. I get it! Even still, I never had anyone offer me a seat or go out of their way to hold a door for me and that was okay. The only time I got upset was when people would take one look at me, assume I was going to slowly waddle around, and hurry to cut in front of me to get to a door or a line, etc. Sheesh!  ::)

I guess if you're just lazy and entitled the fake belly makes you a jerk, but if you have a legit reason for needing to sit then it'd be a lot quicker and easier than asking for a seat and trying to explain "I know I look completely capable of standing for the next 20 minutes, however..." Meh, pass the belly!
Title: Re: This is just low.
Post by: TootsNYC on March 08, 2013, 10:53:23 AM
I don't agree with it but at the same time I'm frustrated by the trend that premium spots should be reserved for those who are visibly pregnant or have young children with them. A lot of people have very valid reasons for wanting to sit down, park closer, get through a line quicker, etc. but you don't see anybody going out of their way to accommodate that (except, of course, for spots legally reserved for those with handicapped placards).

Interesting--I do. I see people who are elderly or using a cane being offered a seat on the subway.

Lots of time, other people don't *know* that someone has a valid reason to sit down, park closer, etc.

(If I ran a parking lot, I'd have a space "reserved for people w/ temporary injuries" or something. But then again, those "reserved for mothers w/ kids" spaces aren't legally enforced--if you've sprained your ankle at tennis and the space is empty, feel free to take it. Might be smart to exaggerate your limp a bit, though.)
Title: Re: This is just low.
Post by: Roe on March 08, 2013, 10:58:35 AM

(If I ran a parking lot, I'd have a space "reserved for people w/ temporary injuries" or something. But then again, those "reserved for mothers w/ kids" spaces aren't legally enforced--if you've sprained your ankle at tennis and the space is empty, feel free to take it. Might be smart to exaggerate your limp a bit, though.)

I twisted my ankle not too long ago and though it's mainly healed, if I walk too much it can start to bother me again.  I hate that premium spots are reserved for pregnant women.  There are so many reasons why people (men included!) might need a closer spot. 
Title: Re: This is just low.
Post by: JenJay on March 08, 2013, 11:05:28 AM
I don't agree with it but at the same time I'm frustrated by the trend that premium spots should be reserved for those who are visibly pregnant or have young children with them. A lot of people have very valid reasons for wanting to sit down, park closer, get through a line quicker, etc. but you don't see anybody going out of their way to accommodate that (except, of course, for spots legally reserved for those with handicapped placards).

Interesting--I do. I see people who are elderly or using a cane being offered a seat on the subway.

Lots of time, other people don't *know* that someone has a valid reason to sit down, park closer, etc.

(If I ran a parking lot, I'd have a space "reserved for people w/ temporary injuries" or something. But then again, those "reserved for mothers w/ kids" spaces aren't legally enforced--if you've sprained your ankle at tennis and the space is empty, feel free to take it. Might be smart to exaggerate your limp a bit, though.)

Sorry, I meant spots that were officially designated, not people being generous. I've never seen a premium parking spot reserved for an elderly, injured, ill, etc. person, just pregnant and/or toting small children. Most of us have had a good reason for wanting a closer spot, seat, shorter line, etc. at some point or another. I certainly don't begrudge anyone, I just don't think it should be a given that X condition = you get the best spot. Except, like I said, for legally valid placards and such, I absolutely understand the necessity there.

DH will use the "for pregnant ladies" spots if the lot is crowded or it's pouring but I don't. I know I can, but it makes me feel like I'm being rude, which is why I resent them.

I've never ridden any kind of public transportation so I can't speak to that one way or the other.  :)


(If I ran a parking lot, I'd have a space "reserved for people w/ temporary injuries" or something. But then again, those "reserved for mothers w/ kids" spaces aren't legally enforced--if you've sprained your ankle at tennis and the space is empty, feel free to take it. Might be smart to exaggerate your limp a bit, though.)

I twisted my ankle not too long ago and though it's mainly healed, if I walk too much it can start to bother me again.  I hate that premium spots are reserved for pregnant women.  There are so many reasons why people (men included!) might need a closer spot. 

Yes, that's what I was trying to say.
Title: Re: This is just low.
Post by: Betelnut on March 08, 2013, 11:25:49 AM
The hospital has a premier parking spot marked, "For Clergy Only."  I would think a patient would take precedence over someone visiting, even if the person visiting is "clergy."  Why would that matter?
Title: Re: This is just low.
Post by: wolfie on March 08, 2013, 11:27:43 AM
The hospital has a premier parking spot marked, "For Clergy Only."  I would think a patient would take precedence over someone visiting, even if the person visiting is "clergy."  Why would that matter?
I would assume that that is intended for clergy that is coming to give someone their last rites. You wouldn't want the priest to arrive after the patient died because they couldn't get a parking spot.
Title: Re: This is just low.
Post by: MommyPenguin on March 08, 2013, 11:32:08 AM
The hospital has a premier parking spot marked, "For Clergy Only."  I would think a patient would take precedence over someone visiting, even if the person visiting is "clergy."  Why would that matter?

Probably because they need to get there in a hurry if somebody has called for them, and the hospital would rather they not waste their time circling the lot looking for a space when a dying person has asked for a final blessing.  That's my guess, at least.
Title: Re: This is just low.
Post by: Tea Drinker on March 08, 2013, 12:04:42 PM
In New York getting a seat on the subway is not easy either.  Unless you're either seriously decrepit or obscenely pretty.

I don't think I'm seriously decrepit; white hair that comes below my shoulders seems to be enough to get me offered seats fairly often (and I sometimes have to argue with people when I'd rather stand).
Title: Re: This is just low.
Post by: Venus193 on March 08, 2013, 12:19:06 PM
I remember once being on the subway with a cane and seeing a woman with crutches standing by the pole.  I was the only person to offer the seat.
Title: Re: This is just low.
Post by: Roe on March 08, 2013, 01:01:37 PM
I've heard stories about people who legitimately needed a seat and couldn't get one on the DC metro, but honestly, for that week that I had the big black boot on my right foot and a cane, I never even had to ask.  Guys just jumped out of their seats to let me have it! 
And I'm old, and fat, and not conventionally pretty in the least.    What did I do right? 
(But I'd never fake a pregnancy or injury to get a seat just because I was lazy, either)

I've had the same experience on DC metro.  I've never seen an older woman, pregnant woman, injured person...need to stand.  Heck, my kiddo (who enjoys metro 'surfing') has been offered a seat because he's young)!   

My DH always gives up his seat to those in greater need.  I get motion sickness so I only offer it up when I see an extreme case.  But my boys do offer their seats up when they see someone older or in need.  It's just the way we were brought up.
Title: Re: This is just low.
Post by: Cami on March 08, 2013, 01:39:37 PM
I never once had anyone offer me a seat or a hand when I was pregnant, so I wouldn't bother to try that trick. Especially since I got way more sexual harassment from strangers when I was pregnant than the entire rest of my life combined. My experience was that being visibly pregnant was a huge negative.
Title: Re: This is just low.
Post by: jaxsue on March 08, 2013, 04:19:49 PM
The hospital has a premier parking spot marked, "For Clergy Only."  I would think a patient would take precedence over someone visiting, even if the person visiting is "clergy."  Why would that matter?

Probably because they need to get there in a hurry if somebody has called for them, and the hospital would rather they not waste their time circling the lot looking for a space when a dying person has asked for a final blessing.  That's my guess, at least.

This.
My dad was a minister and he parked in those spots (he had an official placard). He went to the hospital to visit church members several times a week.
Title: Re: This is just low.
Post by: Rohanna on March 08, 2013, 04:24:31 PM
I don't agree with it but at the same time I'm frustrated by the trend that premium spots should be reserved for those who are visibly pregnant or have young children with them. A lot of people have very valid reasons for wanting to sit down, park closer, get through a line quicker, etc. but you don't see anybody going out of their way to accommodate that (except, of course, for spots legally reserved for those with handicapped placards).

I'm not unsympathetic, I had 3 pregnancies. Middle DS was so big I had OB nurses asking how far overdue I was when I was only 36 weeks! My kids are close in age so at one point I had a newborn, 15 month old and barely 3 year old. I get it! Even still, I never had anyone offer me a seat or go out of their way to hold a door for me and that was okay. The only time I got upset was when people would take one look at me, assume I was going to slowly waddle around, and hurry to cut in front of me to get to a door or a line, etc. Sheesh!  ::)

I guess if you're just lazy and entitled the fake belly makes you a jerk, but if you have a legit reason for needing to sit then it'd be a lot quicker and easier than asking for a seat and trying to explain "I know I look completely capable of standing for the next 20 minutes, however..." Meh, pass the belly!

I don't think it's exactly a "trend". Being helpful to the infirm (of any nature, be it pregnancy, age or disability that is causing it) is the basis of many cultures ideas of etiquette and kindness- it was not so long ago in western culture that it was expected that a man give up his seat to *any* women, regardless of whether she was pregnant, and that anyone young gave up a seat to their "elders". In many ways I don't like the "new" habit of ignoring those around you that might need help- I think we've gone too far towards being a "me first" culture in many ways.

 Just because you don't like it or didn't need it is hardly a reason to pretend it's something new.
Title: Re: This is just low.
Post by: DottyG on March 08, 2013, 05:09:23 PM
I agree with Rohanna.

Title: Re: This is just low.
Post by: CharlieBraun on March 08, 2013, 05:16:05 PM
I never once had anyone offer me a seat or a hand when I was pregnant, so I wouldn't bother to try that trick. Especially since I got way more sexual harassment from strangers when I was pregnant than the entire rest of my life combined. My experience was that being visibly pregnant was a huge negative.

T/j....

Ew.

Title: Re: This is just low.
Post by: JenJay on March 08, 2013, 05:54:45 PM
I don't agree with it but at the same time I'm frustrated by the trend that premium spots should be reserved for those who are visibly pregnant or have young children with them. A lot of people have very valid reasons for wanting to sit down, park closer, get through a line quicker, etc. but you don't see anybody going out of their way to accommodate that (except, of course, for spots legally reserved for those with handicapped placards).

I'm not unsympathetic, I had 3 pregnancies. Middle DS was so big I had OB nurses asking how far overdue I was when I was only 36 weeks! My kids are close in age so at one point I had a newborn, 15 month old and barely 3 year old. I get it! Even still, I never had anyone offer me a seat or go out of their way to hold a door for me and that was okay. The only time I got upset was when people would take one look at me, assume I was going to slowly waddle around, and hurry to cut in front of me to get to a door or a line, etc. Sheesh!  ::)

I guess if you're just lazy and entitled the fake belly makes you a jerk, but if you have a legit reason for needing to sit then it'd be a lot quicker and easier than asking for a seat and trying to explain "I know I look completely capable of standing for the next 20 minutes, however..." Meh, pass the belly!

I don't think it's exactly a "trend". Being helpful to the infirm (of any nature, be it pregnancy, age or disability that is causing it) is the basis of many cultures ideas of etiquette and kindness- it was not so long ago in western culture that it was expected that a man give up his seat to *any* women, regardless of whether she was pregnant, and that anyone young gave up a seat to their "elders". In many ways I don't like the "new" habit of ignoring those around you that might need help- I think we've gone too far towards being a "me first" culture in many ways.

 Just because you don't like it or didn't need it is hardly a reason to pretend it's something new.

Again, I'm speaking only about the trend, which in my experience is something relatively new, in dedicating parking spots to pregnant women and parents with small children. I wasn't making a general, sweeping statement about chivalry in general.
Title: Re: This is just low.
Post by: Shea on March 08, 2013, 05:59:41 PM
The hospital has a premier parking spot marked, "For Clergy Only."  I would think a patient would take precedence over someone visiting, even if the person visiting is "clergy."  Why would that matter?
I would assume that that is intended for clergy that is coming to give someone their last rites. You wouldn't want the priest to arrive after the patient died because they couldn't get a parking spot.

That's what I'd think too, if a dying person is devout, I imagine it would be extremely distressing they'd asked for a priest to administer the Last Rites and the guy wasn't showing up because the parking lot was full. As long as there's plenty of space for patients I don't think it's so bad.
Title: Re: This is just low.
Post by: Carotte on March 08, 2013, 06:37:12 PM
Unless I can see that the person has visible trouble moving (age, random disability..) I will not offer my seat on the bus just because someone has white hair, that's almost asking for the person to be offended. I will however offer it to a pregnant woman (if it's clearly visible she's pregnant).

But I'm in the mind that there's a simple and quite clearly magical way to handle it, ask.
It's not e-hell approved, although I only do it in my mind, but it makes me snicker to hear old people complaining about not being offered a seat on the bus when they are being snarky and are not actually asking. I zone out in the bus/metro or I'm reading, chances are, if you don't make yourself known I will not know you are there. And if you ask nicely, you could look like a healthy young teen I will probably give you my seat.
Title: Re: This is just low.
Post by: Hollanda on March 09, 2013, 04:36:29 AM
I had a hard time getting a seat when I was almost full term!!! Sometimes I would just sit down at the stop and wait for the next bus! I've offered my seat a few times to pregnant ladies, people with kids or elderly people but not everyone does.
Title: Re: This is just low.
Post by: auntmeegs on March 09, 2013, 05:00:30 AM

(If I ran a parking lot, I'd have a space "reserved for people w/ temporary injuries" or something. But then again, those "reserved for mothers w/ kids" spaces aren't legally enforced--if you've sprained your ankle at tennis and the space is empty, feel free to take it. Might be smart to exaggerate your limp a bit, though.)

I twisted my ankle not too long ago and though it's mainly healed, if I walk too much it can start to bother me again.  I hate that premium spots are reserved for pregnant women.  There are so many reasons why people (men included!) might need a closer spot.

So because there can't be reserved spots for every situayion,  there shouldn't be any for anyone?  I can't get behind that logic. 
Title: Re: This is just low.
Post by: Syrse on March 09, 2013, 07:34:54 AM
I feel like the mommy parking spots are a real hot topic on this board. I wonder why?

As a new time mom, I am extremely grateful for them. And of course men can use them too, my husband uses them when he goes shopping with our baby. That's the whole point of the spaces, because you have kids with you. The less distance they have to cross in a parking lot, which is a highly dangerous place for tiny tots, the better. And with a newborn, putting your cart back in the cradle is so much easier with the premium spots. Leaving your kid in the car, even for ten seconds, is really nerve racking.
And I actually did not park in them at all while pregnant, I was still able to walk really well.

Back on topic, that's just an all new low. Pretending to be pregnant?

What I cannot stand though is thoughtlessness. We once got on the subway right after two girls... who sat down in the seats specially reserved for strollers. The rest of the tram was empty! They gave us a blank stare. We ended up parking the stroller next to them, and stood next to it the whole ride. Honestly? With an empty tram?
Or parents who, on a packed subway, keep their toddler in an empty seat. Seriously, if the subway fills up, take the kid on your lap and give someone else a seat.







Title: Re: This is just low.
Post by: Rohanna on March 09, 2013, 08:01:38 AM
I don't know either- it's a feature some stores offer for a demographic of their customers- it's no different to me than "employee of the month" parking or "take out only" parking spots at some restaurants. If you have a disability there is a legally enforced avenue for you to get enforced, regulated parking spaces- this is simply a perk for a different demographic. It doesn't discriminate against men, because men are parents too- and my husband has used the spots when it's icy or cold out and he has the kids by himself. It doesn't even discriminate against non-parents, because my sister has frequently used them while watching my kids for me, and she has none of her own.

It's not rocket science to figure out why stores do this. Largely it's big box stores who offer the spots, and big box stores make a lot of money off of families (particularly large ones and ones with young children). By offering "perk" parking spots, they make it more likely that the parent out with a pack of kids by his/herself will choose them- knowing there's a reasonable chance they won't be having to truck non-mobile kids in from the back-end of the lot makes popping in for diapers, milk, and bread more temping at BoxMart- and that once they get you in you'll end up with a cart full of other stuff they didn't mean to buy  ;) They don't really worry about the "one time your knee was a bit sore so you went home instead of running in to get a bit of yarn", because if it's a long-term problem you can get a handicap pass, if it's short term you'll be back to shopping normally sooner than my kid(s) learns to walk independantly. It's not a morality judgement or a statement on your value as a person- it's economics. They don't love me and my kids more than you and your occasionally tricky knee- I am just statistically speaking more likely to spend more money at that type of store.
Title: Re: This is just low.
Post by: MerryCat on March 09, 2013, 08:48:42 AM
(Quote tree trimmed a bit)

I twisted my ankle not too long ago and though it's mainly healed, if I walk too much it can start to bother me again.  I hate that premium spots are reserved for pregnant women.  There are so many reasons why people (men included!) might need a closer spot.

So because there can't be reserved spots for every situayion,  there shouldn't be any for anyone?  I can't get behind that logic.

I think that Roe's point is that if those spots weren't reserved for pregnant women then everyone would have a fair shot at getting them. No, you wouldn't be guaranteed a spot, but at least you'd have a chance. The way it is now, some people always have the chance and others have none, even if they need it equally badly.
Title: Re: This is just low.
Post by: Pen^2 on March 09, 2013, 09:28:05 AM
I commute by train a looong way for work (2.5 hours each way), and see a lot of things in this vein. Most commonly (i.e. happens every single trip at least once) is someone sitting in a bunch of seats, say 3, which are perpendicular to the wall with another such row in front. They will sit in the outer seat, perfectly blocking access to the two other empty seats. And this person will not move even as the train begins to fill up and people stand in the aisles. Other passengers sometimes ask the guilty person to move and let others sit down, but more often than not, the person will drape themselves over all the seats so unpleasantly that no-one would want to sit near them and standing actually looks more attractive.

One selfish person making an idiot of themselves to get two extra seats for free. Every single journey. Aaargh.

Although worse are the people who spill drinks/food everywhere around them and just leave as though they have no responsibility over the mess. They inconvenience many more people than the seat-hoggers.
Title: Re: This is just low.
Post by: Roe on March 09, 2013, 10:25:51 AM
(Quote tree trimmed a bit)

I twisted my ankle not too long ago and though it's mainly healed, if I walk too much it can start to bother me again.  I hate that premium spots are reserved for pregnant women.  There are so many reasons why people (men included!) might need a closer spot.

So because there can't be reserved spots for every situayion,  there shouldn't be any for anyone?  I can't get behind that logic.

I think that Roe's point is that if those spots weren't reserved for pregnant women then everyone would have a fair shot at getting them. No, you wouldn't be guaranteed a spot, but at least you'd have a chance. The way it is now, some people always have the chance and others have none, even if they need it equally badly.

Thank you MerryCat, that's it exactly. 
Title: Re: This is just low.
Post by: Calistoga on March 09, 2013, 11:19:43 AM
(Quote tree trimmed a bit)

I twisted my ankle not too long ago and though it's mainly healed, if I walk too much it can start to bother me again.  I hate that premium spots are reserved for pregnant women.  There are so many reasons why people (men included!) might need a closer spot.

So because there can't be reserved spots for every situayion,  there shouldn't be any for anyone?  I can't get behind that logic.

I think that Roe's point is that if those spots weren't reserved for pregnant women then everyone would have a fair shot at getting them. No, you wouldn't be guaranteed a spot, but at least you'd have a chance. The way it is now, some people always have the chance and others have none, even if they need it equally badly.

Thank you MerryCat, that's it exactly.

But isn't this exactly like handicapped parking spots at stores? I have back and knee problems that are exacerbated by a long day at work- after an 8 hour shift, I really and truly can't walk more than 10-15 feet without wanting to cry- but I can't park in the first 5 spots of any row at  Wal-Mart because they're for people with placards.
Title: Re: This is just low.
Post by: Sharnita on March 09, 2013, 11:29:40 AM
No, it isn't exaclty like handicapped parking - unless kids are a recognized handicap.  Pregnancy would not be one either unless there are specific issues in which case one could get an actual handicapped parking placard.
Title: Re: This is just low.
Post by: JenJay on March 09, 2013, 11:36:25 AM
(Quote tree trimmed a bit)

I twisted my ankle not too long ago and though it's mainly healed, if I walk too much it can start to bother me again.  I hate that premium spots are reserved for pregnant women.  There are so many reasons why people (men included!) might need a closer spot.

So because there can't be reserved spots for every situayion,  there shouldn't be any for anyone?  I can't get behind that logic.

I think that Roe's point is that if those spots weren't reserved for pregnant women then everyone would have a fair shot at getting them. No, you wouldn't be guaranteed a spot, but at least you'd have a chance. The way it is now, some people always have the chance and others have none, even if they need it equally badly.

Thank you MerryCat, that's it exactly.

But isn't this exactly like handicapped parking spots at stores? I have back and knee problems that are exacerbated by a long day at work- after an 8 hour shift, I really and truly can't walk more than 10-15 feet without wanting to cry- but I can't park in the first 5 spots of any row at  Wal-Mart because they're for people with placards.

What some of us are saying is that, in addition to the first few handicapped spots, sometimes you'll see the next couple of spots dedicated to pregnant women/parents with young children. If those spots were available for everyone then you could use them too, as could an elderly person, ill person, etc. Not that you can't use them now but you risk being glared at.

It's not that we begrudge a pregnant lady getting a good spot, it's that we don't feel it's right that pregnant/parents get dedicated spots because, like you said, many people have valid reasons for needing a close spot, too. Why should being pregnant trump having an injury, illness, arthritis, vertigo (been there!), etc?
Title: Re: This is just low.
Post by: Calistoga on March 09, 2013, 11:56:02 AM
(Quote tree trimmed a bit)

I twisted my ankle not too long ago and though it's mainly healed, if I walk too much it can start to bother me again.  I hate that premium spots are reserved for pregnant women.  There are so many reasons why people (men included!) might need a closer spot.

So because there can't be reserved spots for every situayion,  there shouldn't be any for anyone?  I can't get behind that logic.

I think that Roe's point is that if those spots weren't reserved for pregnant women then everyone would have a fair shot at getting them. No, you wouldn't be guaranteed a spot, but at least you'd have a chance. The way it is now, some people always have the chance and others have none, even if they need it equally badly.

Thank you MerryCat, that's it exactly.

But isn't this exactly like handicapped parking spots at stores? I have back and knee problems that are exacerbated by a long day at work- after an 8 hour shift, I really and truly can't walk more than 10-15 feet without wanting to cry- but I can't park in the first 5 spots of any row at  Wal-Mart because they're for people with placards.

What some of us are saying is that, in addition to the first few handicapped spots, sometimes you'll see the next couple of spots dedicated to pregnant women/parents with young children. If those spots were available for everyone then you could use them too, as could an elderly person, ill person, etc. Not that you can't use them now but you risk being glared at.

It's not that we begrudge a pregnant lady getting a good spot, it's that we don't feel it's right that pregnant/parents get dedicated spots because, like you said, many people have valid reasons for needing a close spot, too. Why should being pregnant trump having an injury, illness, arthritis, vertigo (been there!), etc?

I've never seen the ones for parents...that seems very odd. But these aren't legally enforced things, I think the store/business does them at their own discretion. I'm guessing the reason for pregnant spots as opposed to temporarily injured is because pregnancy is objective, where as if you say "Temporarily injured" it's open for more interpretation.
Title: Re: This is just low.
Post by: Kimblee on March 09, 2013, 11:58:50 AM
I feel like the mommy parking spots are a real hot topic on this board. I wonder why?

As a new time mom, I am extremely grateful for them. And of course men can use them too, my husband uses them when he goes shopping with our baby. That's the whole point of the spaces, because you have kids with you. The less distance they have to cross in a parking lot, which is a highly dangerous place for tiny tots, the better. And with a newborn, putting your cart back in the cradle is so much easier with the premium spots. Leaving your kid in the car, even for ten seconds, is really nerve racking.
And I actually did not park in them at all while pregnant, I was still able to walk really well.

Back on topic, that's just an all new low. Pretending to be pregnant?

What I cannot stand though is thoughtlessness. We once got on the subway right after two girls... who sat down in the seats specially reserved for strollers. The rest of the tram was empty! They gave us a blank stare. We ended up parking the stroller next to them, and stood next to it the whole ride. Honestly? With an empty tram?
Or parents who, on a packed subway, keep their toddler in an empty seat. Seriously, if the subway fills up, take the kid on your lap and give someone else a seat.

I agree on the toddlers, Although I once got on a train with no seats and saw a seat occupied by a toddler.... whose father offered me the kid's seat with the condition "If you don't mind him sitting on you. He likes pretty girls and he won't sit in my lap without a lot of screaming." I agreed to this... and got into a debate with a 3-5 year old over why Captain America would beat up Batman. For six train stops. (I wasn't ENTIRELY against this mind you.)

When riding with my BFF (who uses a wheelchair when we got on public transport) I've gotten nasty looks from people for sitting in the fold-down seat beside her chair. And one person coming right out and TELLING me "I don't care if you're a caretaker, you need to give that seat to me, I'm old and I deserve it."

Before I could say anything(and I had no idea what to say, I'm shy but not allowed to leave my friend.) BFF replied "She's young and has a fainting problem. You'd think if you're so old you'd have learned seats are first come, first served by now. Find. Another. Seat." (The car was mostly empty, and there were even seats just like the one I was in about five feet away.)
Title: Re: This is just low.
Post by: Calistoga on March 09, 2013, 12:08:34 PM
I feel like the mommy parking spots are a real hot topic on this board. I wonder why?

As a new time mom, I am extremely grateful for them. And of course men can use them too, my husband uses them when he goes shopping with our baby. That's the whole point of the spaces, because you have kids with you. The less distance they have to cross in a parking lot, which is a highly dangerous place for tiny tots, the better. And with a newborn, putting your cart back in the cradle is so much easier with the premium spots. Leaving your kid in the car, even for ten seconds, is really nerve racking.
And I actually did not park in them at all while pregnant, I was still able to walk really well.

Back on topic, that's just an all new low. Pretending to be pregnant?

What I cannot stand though is thoughtlessness. We once got on the subway right after two girls... who sat down in the seats specially reserved for strollers. The rest of the tram was empty! They gave us a blank stare. We ended up parking the stroller next to them, and stood next to it the whole ride. Honestly? With an empty tram?
Or parents who, on a packed subway, keep their toddler in an empty seat. Seriously, if the subway fills up, take the kid on your lap and give someone else a seat.

I agree on the toddlers, Although I once got on a train with no seats and saw a seat occupied by a toddler.... whose father offered me the kid's seat with the condition "If you don't mind him sitting on you. He likes pretty girls and he won't sit in my lap without a lot of screaming." I agreed to this... and got into a debate with a 3-5 year old over why Captain America would beat up Batman. For six train stops. (I wasn't ENTIRELY against this mind you.)

When riding with my BFF (who uses a wheelchair when we got on public transport) I've gotten nasty looks from people for sitting in the fold-down seat beside her chair. And one person coming right out and TELLING me "I don't care if you're a caretaker, you need to give that seat to me, I'm old and I deserve it."

Before I could say anything(and I had no idea what to say, I'm shy but not allowed to leave my friend.) BFF replied "She's young and has a fainting problem. You'd think if you're so old you'd have learned seats are first come, first served by now. Find. Another. Seat." (The car was mostly empty, and there were even seats just like the one I was in about five feet away.)

Hmm. Honestly if the kid was old enough to debate the ins and outs of superhero battles, I think he was old enough for his own seat. Me, I wouldn't want to have a strangers kid sit on me, but if you didn't mind then it works out.

I don't see any reason for seats to be specially reserved other than property owners desire, and being old and grumpy no more entitles you to a spot than being young and tired. It's a courtesy thing- it's nice to offer chairs to people who might need them more than you, it shouldn't be expected under every circumstance. 
Title: Re: This is just low.
Post by: Tabby Uprising on March 09, 2013, 12:14:10 PM
(Quote tree trimmed a bit)

I twisted my ankle not too long ago and though it's mainly healed, if I walk too much it can start to bother me again.  I hate that premium spots are reserved for pregnant women.  There are so many reasons why people (men included!) might need a closer spot.

So because there can't be reserved spots for every situayion,  there shouldn't be any for anyone?  I can't get behind that logic.

I think that Roe's point is that if those spots weren't reserved for pregnant women then everyone would have a fair shot at getting them. No, you wouldn't be guaranteed a spot, but at least you'd have a chance. The way it is now, some people always have the chance and others have none, even if they need it equally badly.

Thank you MerryCat, that's it exactly.

But isn't this exactly like handicapped parking spots at stores? I have back and knee problems that are exacerbated by a long day at work- after an 8 hour shift, I really and truly can't walk more than 10-15 feet without wanting to cry- but I can't park in the first 5 spots of any row at  Wal-Mart because they're for people with placards.

What some of us are saying is that, in addition to the first few handicapped spots, sometimes you'll see the next couple of spots dedicated to pregnant women/parents with young children. If those spots were available for everyone then you could use them too, as could an elderly person, ill person, etc. Not that you can't use them now but you risk being glared at.

It's not that we begrudge a pregnant lady getting a good spot, it's that we don't feel it's right that pregnant/parents get dedicated spots because, like you said, many people have valid reasons for needing a close spot, too. Why should being pregnant trump having an injury, illness, arthritis, vertigo (been there!), etc?

Marketing.  There are certainly numerous reasons why someone wants to park in the closest spots, but I don't think businesses are coming at this from a need based perspective.  Pregnancy is different from broken ankles/vertigo/arthritis because while it can cause physical discomfort, it's all packaged in a "warm and fuzzy" bundle.  Pregnancy is common, it's visible and usually has a positive connotation to it.  Our culture celebrates babies and pregnancy and some businesses are appealing to that quality when they designate these spots.  It makes them look good and pro-family which in turn they hope leads to $$$$ from that customer base.

I'm certain that if stores received a deluge of backlash from the vertigo demographic about not having their own spots (or the miscellaneous injured demographic) and those complaining demographics were ones that typically brought in a lot of money to the business as well, that said business would change their parking strategy.  They want money. 

I just came back from a trip to Target and didn't see anything but the standard handicapped spots. I've lived in a number of major metro areas and the only time I see these pregnant/young children reserved spots are at places like Toys R Us or Babies R Us.  It doesn't seem that pervasive and I currently live in Familyopolis where there would be a huge demographic for those spots. 
Title: Re: This is just low.
Post by: violetminnow on March 09, 2013, 12:35:07 PM

But isn't this exactly like handicapped parking spots at stores? I have back and knee problems that are exacerbated by a long day at work- after an 8 hour shift, I really and truly can't walk more than 10-15 feet without wanting to cry- but I can't park in the first 5 spots of any row at  Wal-Mart because they're for people with placards.

Wouldn't you qualify for a handicapped placard if you can't walk 15 feet? I may be wrong, but I think the standard for handicapped spots is not being able to walk 30 feet comfortably to get to the doors.
Title: Re: This is just low.
Post by: jaxsue on March 09, 2013, 12:48:05 PM

But isn't this exactly like handicapped parking spots at stores? I have back and knee problems that are exacerbated by a long day at work- after an 8 hour shift, I really and truly can't walk more than 10-15 feet without wanting to cry- but I can't park in the first 5 spots of any row at  Wal-Mart because they're for people with placards.

Wouldn't you qualify for a handicapped placard if you can't walk 15 feet? I may be wrong, but I think the standard for handicapped spots is not being able to walk 30 feet comfortably to get to the doors.

I agree. I am, for the first time in my life, using a temp handicapped placard (I had a nasty ankle break in January, and I still can't walk on it). It is so weird parking in a handicapped spot. I still feel like I'm breaking the law somehow!  :)

I got the temp permit from the local police dept, using a form I got at the doctor's office. I'd look into it. In a few months I won't need it - and will be very, very grateful!
Title: Re: This is just low.
Post by: Betelnut on March 09, 2013, 01:49:04 PM
The hospital has a premier parking spot marked, "For Clergy Only."  I would think a patient would take precedence over someone visiting, even if the person visiting is "clergy."  Why would that matter?

Probably because they need to get there in a hurry if somebody has called for them, and the hospital would rather they not waste their time circling the lot looking for a space when a dying person has asked for a final blessing.  That's my guess, at least.

This.
My dad was a minister and he parked in those spots (he had an official placard). He went to the hospital to visit church members several times a week.

Yes, but was he disabled in any way?  That is, he could walk from any spot in the parking lot?  So why get a special spot?  Lots of people visit people in the hospital.
Title: Re: This is just low.
Post by: Tabby Uprising on March 09, 2013, 01:56:10 PM
The hospital has a premier parking spot marked, "For Clergy Only."  I would think a patient would take precedence over someone visiting, even if the person visiting is "clergy."  Why would that matter?

Probably because they need to get there in a hurry if somebody has called for them, and the hospital would rather they not waste their time circling the lot looking for a space when a dying person has asked for a final blessing.  That's my guess, at least.

This.
My dad was a minister and he parked in those spots (he had an official placard). He went to the hospital to visit church members several times a week.

Yes, but was he disabled in any way?  That is, he could walk from any spot in the parking lot?  So why get a special spot?  Lots of people visit people in the hospital.

I think the bolded is the answer to your questions.  It's not about how able bodied the minister is, it's about expediting their access to the dying patient. 
Title: Re: This is just low.
Post by: ClaireC79 on March 09, 2013, 02:06:29 PM
It doesn't sound like he was just using the spot for that reason though*, but for routine visits too.

*I still remember one shifts about 6 years ago when the hospital chaplain was in hospital himself having surgery on his feet, man in the bed opposite had a stroke and he/family wanted the last rites - which the chaplain performed in his pyjamas and slippers - was very surreal
Title: Re: This is just low.
Post by: Betelnut on March 09, 2013, 02:52:42 PM
The hospital has a premier parking spot marked, "For Clergy Only."  I would think a patient would take precedence over someone visiting, even if the person visiting is "clergy."  Why would that matter?

Probably because they need to get there in a hurry if somebody has called for them, and the hospital would rather they not waste their time circling the lot looking for a space when a dying person has asked for a final blessing.  That's my guess, at least.

This.
My dad was a minister and he parked in those spots (he had an official placard). He went to the hospital to visit church members several times a week.

Yes, but was he disabled in any way?  That is, he could walk from any spot in the parking lot?  So why get a special spot?  Lots of people visit people in the hospital.

I think the bolded is the answer to your questions.  It's not about how able bodied the minister is, it's about expediting their access to the dying patient.

Eh--I think the family and patient are more important but I guess I'm in the minority here. 
Title: Re: This is just low.
Post by: Tabby Uprising on March 09, 2013, 03:16:49 PM
The hospital has a premier parking spot marked, "For Clergy Only."  I would think a patient would take precedence over someone visiting, even if the person visiting is "clergy."  Why would that matter?

Probably because they need to get there in a hurry if somebody has called for them, and the hospital would rather they not waste their time circling the lot looking for a space when a dying person has asked for a final blessing.  That's my guess, at least.

This.
My dad was a minister and he parked in those spots (he had an official placard). He went to the hospital to visit church members several times a week.

Yes, but was he disabled in any way?  That is, he could walk from any spot in the parking lot?  So why get a special spot?  Lots of people visit people in the hospital.

I think the bolded is the answer to your questions.  It's not about how able bodied the minister is, it's about expediting their access to the dying patient.

Eh--I think the family and patient are more important but I guess I'm in the minority here.

Oh, I don't think anyone has stated the patients and family are less important than clergy.

In most cases, I'd say it is the express wishes of the dying patient and their family for clergy to be present.  Those smattering of reserved clergy parking spots help ensure the clergy member can be present in an instance where time is of the essence.  Those reserved spots are meeting an important need to certain patients and family members.

I don't think every reserved parking or seating issue needs to be a hardline ranking system of importance. Whether we're talking handicapped spots, new parent spots, pregnancy spots, clergy spots or cat-lover spots, there is a different motivation or need the entity is trying to meet by isolating that demographic. 
Title: Re: This is just low.
Post by: strawbabies on March 09, 2013, 03:32:09 PM
I've never seen the ones for parents...that seems very odd.
The only place I know I've seen them for sure is in the parking lot for Babies 'R' Us.  I think maybe they also have them at the regional wholesale club where I shop, but they're not all that common in a general shopping situation.
Title: Re: This is just low.
Post by: JenJay on March 09, 2013, 04:17:04 PM
I've never seen the ones for parents...that seems very odd.
The only place I know I've seen them for sure is in the parking lot for Babies 'R' Us.  I think maybe they also have them at the regional wholesale club where I shop, but they're not all that common in a general shopping situation.

I see them at 2 of the 3 grocery stores where I shop. I've lived here almost 2 years and I didn't see the signs (except at babies r us) back in Oregon. I thought it was becoming more prevalent but maybe it's regional?
Title: Re: This is just low.
Post by: jaxsue on March 09, 2013, 05:44:37 PM
The hospital has a premier parking spot marked, "For Clergy Only."  I would think a patient would take precedence over someone visiting, even if the person visiting is "clergy."  Why would that matter?

Probably because they need to get there in a hurry if somebody has called for them, and the hospital would rather they not waste their time circling the lot looking for a space when a dying person has asked for a final blessing.  That's my guess, at least.

This.
My dad was a minister and he parked in those spots (he had an official placard). He went to the hospital to visit church members several times a week.

Yes, but was he disabled in any way?  That is, he could walk from any spot in the parking lot?  So why get a special spot?  Lots of people visit people in the hospital.

I don't make the rules, and there's a reason hospitals have those reserved spots, just as the shopping centers have the expectant mom spaces. Trust me, I've been frustrated when I'm circling the hospital parking lot and think I see an open spot only to find that it's handicapped or a Spot reserved for a doctor.
Title: Re: This is just low.
Post by: SiotehCat on March 09, 2013, 05:50:11 PM
On of the grocery stores nearby has a spot reserved for police vehicles and I can't figure out why.

Its not even that close to the store. There are plenty of regular spots closer to the store. At least 5 in that aisle. Also, every time that I have seen the police at that store(it hasn't been many), they are parked right by the store in the "no parking" section. I always just assumed it was no parking so that it was available in the case of an emergency. Like in cases when you would need a police.
Title: Re: This is just low.
Post by: Iris on March 09, 2013, 06:51:35 PM
I've never seen a spot for pregnant people. I don't mind the 'parents with prams' spots at all, and they came in too late for me to benefit from them. If all the mothers and fathers with toddlers parked in those I'd be thrilled - less chance of my door being dinged by someone having to have the door open wide while they strap in a wriggling child, and significantly fewer hazards that are too low for me to see when reversing out of a spot. Also on a selfish note I've noticed that families with small children, groceries and prams take *forever* when they are loading up at the end. In a crowded lot I'd rather have them waiting for each other while the rest of us move along a bit more efficiently.

Then again, my local shops has disabled parking, parents with prams AND seniors parking. If I had a temporary injury that made it painful for me to walk any distance I *know* that I'd have to get a permit because all the primo parks are taken up by someone or another.

I've never noticed a clergy parking area, but I don't think it would bother me either. Given the hundreds of parks at my local hospital the difference that one or two clergy parks would make to my parking experience would be vanishingly small.

Title: Re: This is just low.
Post by: Drunken Housewife on March 10, 2013, 03:25:23 PM
I live in San Francisco, and I have never seen a parking spot reserved for the pregnant or for parents. 

I really don't like the lack of consideration a lot of people have for pregnant women, a simmering rage that how dare a pregnant woman take a seat or a parking spot.  Being pregnant is for many of us very difficult, and although not all of us are going to be pregnant women, we were all of us at one point fetuses/part of a pregnancy.  A little empathy could go a long way, and it's not as though women are normally going to be taking advantage of pregnancy for long, as it's a passing state with very, very few perks and lots and lots of discomforts.  Also, not everyone in that state intended to be there (let's not forget that rapes can result in pregnancies; I never assume that a woman intended to get pregnant -- and indeed someone else's family planning is never my business unless it's my husband or someone expecting something from me).  I suspect that often the disapproval is sexual in origin -- obviously the woman had sex to become pregnant (I got a lot of teasing when I got pregnant the first time, and I kept thinking, "I'm over 30 and married; this is really silly.  It would be shocking and abnormal if I were virginal as a married, middle-aged person!"). 
Title: Re: This is just low.
Post by: Drunken Housewife on March 10, 2013, 03:27:53 PM
I'm not going to ask that anyone give up a parking spot or a seat for a pregnant woman, but I will ask, as gently as possible, that if you are ever in a waiting line for a public bathroom and there is a pregnant woman in that line, please, please, please for the love of humanity offer to her that she go ahead of you.  You are obviously not obligated to do so, but it would be a huge kindness or a mitzvah to do so.  (Pregnant women's bladders are hugely compressed by the baby, and they need to go to the bathroom often and with great urgency; they simply do not have the bladder capacity of a normal adult).
Title: Re: This is just low.
Post by: SiotehCat on March 10, 2013, 03:34:10 PM
I'm not going to ask that anyone give up a parking spot or a seat for a pregnant woman, but I will ask, as gently as possible, that if you are ever in a waiting line for a public bathroom and there is a pregnant woman in that line, please, please, please for the love of humanity offer to her that she go ahead of you.  You are obviously not obligated to do so, but it would be a huge kindness or a mitzvah to do so.  (Pregnant women's bladders are hugely compressed by the baby, and they need to go to the bathroom often and with great urgency; they simply do not have the bladder capacity of a normal adult).

Wouldn't that be a kindness to anybody waiting in line for the restroom?
Title: Re: This is just low.
Post by: Drunken Housewife on March 10, 2013, 03:35:43 PM
Another note:  I think that the anger over spots for parents/pregnant ladies should be directed at the businesses, not the parents & the pregnant.  In those instances, the businesses made the decision that they wish to actively court parents and pregnant women, and they are offering the spots to attract the business of those customers.  If it really burns you up that they do so, send them an email or a letter and shop elsewhere.  They will make their economic decision as they like.  But there's no reason to be angry at pregnant women or parents.  If it will make you feel better, think about the fact that these people are unwelcome in many places. 
Title: Re: This is just low.
Post by: Drunken Housewife on March 10, 2013, 03:38:26 PM
If I'm waiting for the bathroom and someone comes along who is clearly in more discomfort than me, I will let them go ahead of me (e.g., a pregnant woman, a small child, someone who looks ill).  But people who have never been pregnant may not understand that a pregnant woman does not have the bladder capacity of a regular woman and that she simply, as a matter of anatomy and biology, cannot hold it in for as long as a regular woman.  Hence it is appropriate in my opinion to let her go ahead. 

(I actually was in the position of not being able to hold it in at a point in a pregnancy where i had a wait for a bathroom which I could NOT make, and I am going to spare all of you the details).
Title: Re: This is just low.
Post by: Sharnita on March 10, 2013, 04:12:37 PM
I don't know anybody's bathroom related issues. There are tons of issues that might give various people claims that they need to go quickly for various reasons. If I were the only one in line and somebody seemed to be in distress while I could wait of cpurse I'd let them go ahead I do not think that pregnancy trumps whatever issues people in a random line might have. I don't know that there is ignorance about the impact of pregnancy on the bladder nearly as much as there is a lack of awareness how many other people really do have issues too.
Title: Re: This is just low.
Post by: Rohanna on March 10, 2013, 04:22:50 PM
Sometimes I get very tired of the word "trump" around here- no says it needs to be one upmanship or some kind of competition over who's worse off... They were just pointing out how if you spot the need, and it's not a hardship for you at that particular time- it's a kindness to offer. Nothing more, no big agenda, conspiracy or moral judgement or statement of varying personal worth- just a simple act of optional kindness.
Title: Re: This is just low.
Post by: Sharnita on March 10, 2013, 04:32:40 PM
I guess I would disagree with ypu. There seems to br speculatiom about what people who haven't been pregnant understand. There also seems to be a real oversimplification of "regular" and their needs. I definitely think that letting somebody pregnant cut an actual line could put some other woman who looks "regular" at a real disavantage. If it is just you and the other woman then go for it if you are OK. To assume other women don't have their own issues, long or short term, seems unwise.
Title: Re: This is just low.
Post by: Tabby Uprising on March 10, 2013, 04:34:07 PM
Sometimes I get very tired of the word "trump" around here- no says it needs to be one upmanship or some kind of competition over who's worse off... They were just pointing out how if you spot the need, and it's not a hardship for you at that particular time- it's a kindness to offer. Nothing more, no big agenda, conspiracy or moral judgement or statement of varying personal worth- just a simple act of optional kindness.

I couldn't agree more!
Title: Re: This is just low.
Post by: WillyNilly on March 10, 2013, 05:07:36 PM
If I'm waiting for the bathroom and someone comes along who is clearly in more discomfort than me, I will let them go ahead of me (e.g., a pregnant woman, a small child, someone who looks ill).  But people who have never been pregnant may not understand that a pregnant woman does not have the bladder capacity of a regular woman and that she simply, as a matter of anatomy and biology, cannot hold it in for as long as a regular woman.  Hence it is appropriate in my opinion to let her go ahead. 

(I actually was in the position of not being able to hold it in at a point in a pregnancy where i had a wait for a bathroom which I could NOT make, and I am going to spare all of you the details).

If its just you, that's cool. But if its a line, you should be switching spots with them (getting at the back of the line or where ever they were in the line), not letting them 'cut' you. You have no right to make the people behind you wait longer, that is not doing a kindness, because as kind as it maybe to the person in need, its completely negated by the nastiness to those who now have to wait even longer.
Title: Re: This is just low.
Post by: jaxsue on March 10, 2013, 05:10:38 PM
I agree with PPs that letting someone cut to the front of the line affects others (and who's to say that someone else in line doesn't have issues?) and that it's not fair to assume everyone is okay with it.
Title: Re: This is just low.
Post by: cass2591 on March 10, 2013, 05:44:04 PM
I live in San Francisco, and I have never seen a parking spot reserved for the pregnant or for parents. 

I really don't like the lack of consideration a lot of people have for pregnant women, a simmering rage that how dare a pregnant woman take a seat or a parking spot.  Being pregnant is for many of us very difficult, and although not all of us are going to be pregnant women, we were all of us at one point fetuses/part of a pregnancy.  A little empathy could go a long way, and it's not as though women are normally going to be taking advantage of pregnancy for long, as it's a passing state with very, very few perks and lots and lots of discomforts.  Also, not everyone in that state intended to be there (let's not forget that rapes can result in pregnancies; I never assume that a woman intended to get pregnant -- and indeed someone else's family planning is never my business unless it's my husband or someone expecting something from me).  I suspect that often the disapproval is sexual in origin -- obviously the woman had sex to become pregnant (I got a lot of teasing when I got pregnant the first time, and I kept thinking, "I'm over 30 and married; this is really silly.  It would be shocking and abnormal if I were virginal as a married, middle-aged person!").

This post makes little sense because whether or not a woman is pregnant by choice or not is irrelevant, and as far as I know married people have sex which often leads to pregnancy. As for a pregnant woman who are unmarried, how does a stranger know and if they are that interested the problem is with said stranger and not the pregnant woman.
Title: Re: This is just low.
Post by: Sharnita on March 10, 2013, 06:39:57 PM
If I'm waiting for the bathroom and someone comes along who is clearly in more discomfort than me, I will let them go ahead of me (e.g., a pregnant woman, a small child, someone who looks ill).  But people who have never been pregnant may not understand that a pregnant woman does not have the bladder capacity of a regular woman and that she simply, as a matter of anatomy and biology, cannot hold it in for as long as a regular woman.  Hence it is appropriate in my opinion to let her go ahead. 

(I actually was in the position of not being able to hold it in at a point in a pregnancy where i had a wait for a bathroom which I could NOT make, and I am going to spare all of you the details).

If its just you, that's cool. But if its a line, you should be switching spots with them (getting at the back of the line or where ever they were in the line), not letting them 'cut' you. You have no right to make the people behind you wait longer, that is not doing a kindness, because as kind as it maybe to the person in need, its completely negated by the nastiness to those who now have to wait even longer.

Yeah, if I am the only one waiting and a pregnant woman enters then I might offer to let her go if she was in visible distress.  I would not make assumptions about her bladder because I would guess htere are many women who wouldn't appreciate that. If there was a line and I was just one person in it I would not offer to let her go ahead of everyone because for all I know Sue has IBS, Mandy has issues because of medication and Jen's lunch has been fighting back for a while.
Title: Re: This is just low.
Post by: SiotehCat on March 10, 2013, 06:53:15 PM
I ride the bus daily and do not sit in the seats that are clearly marked for the elderly or persons with disabilities. The only people that I automatically give up my seat for are the elderly.

I was taught to always give up my place for the elderly, to show respect. So, even though I am an adult, I would be very uncomfortable not giving up my seat for the elderly.
Title: Re: This is just low.
Post by: VltGrantham on March 11, 2013, 11:54:51 AM
I honestly can't believe that this still continues to be an issue in this day and age.  I still give up my seat to an older adult and would most definitely give up my seat to a pregnant woman.  DH will not sit while a woman stands, unless she has flatly refused his offer of a seat.  I'm very saddened that this custom has gone the way of the wind.
Title: Re: This is just low.
Post by: hobish on March 22, 2013, 12:30:47 PM
I don't know either- it's a feature some stores offer for a demographic of their customers- it's no different to me than "employee of the month" parking or "take out only" parking spots at some restaurants. If you have a disability there is a legally enforced avenue for you to get enforced, regulated parking spaces- this is simply a perk for a different demographic. It doesn't discriminate against men, because men are parents too- and my husband has used the spots when it's icy or cold out and he has the kids by himself. It doesn't even discriminate against non-parents, because my sister has frequently used them while watching my kids for me, and she has none of her own.

It's not rocket science to figure out why stores do this. Largely it's big box stores who offer the spots, and big box stores make a lot of money off of families (particularly large ones and ones with young children). By offering "perk" parking spots, they make it more likely that the parent out with a pack of kids by his/herself will choose them- knowing there's a reasonable chance they won't be having to truck non-mobile kids in from the back-end of the lot makes popping in for diapers, milk, and bread more temping at BoxMart- and that once they get you in you'll end up with a cart full of other stuff they didn't mean to buy  ;) They don't really worry about the "one time your knee was a bit sore so you went home instead of running in to get a bit of yarn", because if it's a long-term problem you can get a handicap pass, if it's short term you'll be back to shopping normally sooner than my kid(s) learns to walk independantly. It's not a morality judgement or a statement on your value as a person- it's economics. They don't love me and my kids more than you and your occasionally tricky knee- I am just statistically speaking more likely to spend more money at that type of store.

 ;D This may be the first time you and I agree on somthing. You nailed it.

As for the clergy parking spots at hospitals, I think they are kind of akin to employee parking. Priests/Ministers/etc. spend a lot of time going to and from hospitals, even more than you might expect.
 
Title: Re: This is just low.
Post by: Redwing on March 22, 2013, 01:24:51 PM
I honestly can't believe that this still continues to be an issue in this day and age.  I still give up my seat to an older adult and would most definitely give up my seat to a pregnant woman.  DH will not sit while a woman stands, unless she has flatly refused his offer of a seat.  I'm very saddened that this custom has gone the way of the wind.

I'm 57 years old and I would give up my seat to an elderly person.