Etiquette Hell

A Civil World. Off-topic discussions on a variety of topics. Guests, register for forum membership to see all the boards. => Time For a Coffee Break! => Topic started by: Slartibartfast on March 25, 2013, 09:43:29 AM

Title: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Slartibartfast on March 25, 2013, 09:43:29 AM
DH has terrible taste in movies (in that he never likes what I like!) but we both like so-bad-it's-good movies so I really started this thread to get recommendations  :)  What's the worst movie you ever saw?

So-bad-it-was-awesome category: Robogeisha.  It's just so . . . Japanese, and then there's a fantastic amount of gratuitous violence, and the American voice actors did a fantastic job trying to take the dialogue seriously.  I put it on as a joke for a Valentine's Day movie and we were going to give it five minutes . . . I've seen it three times now.

So-bad-it-was-still-bad category: Northfork.  Gorgeous setting, beautiful cinematics, incredible scenery . . . would have been a nice place to put a plot.  Or some conflict.  Or something.  It's about a town that has to move because a dam is being put in which will flood the area, except there's no actual flooding going on, just a lot of small town life.  It's like "Our Town" but in 1950's Montana and without all the deep stuff I was supposed to get out of that play in high school english class but didn't.

So yeah, that's my vote - what are your worst movies?
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Chip2 on March 25, 2013, 09:47:27 AM
The worst movie ever watched on purpose:  Manos:  Hands of Fate, but fortunately it was the MST3K version.

Worst movie ever watched by accident:  Spies Like Us.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: veryfluffy on March 25, 2013, 09:50:23 AM
Worst movie I saw that others raved about: Lost in Translation.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: nayberry on March 25, 2013, 09:52:54 AM
ultraviolet,  thats 90 minutes i'm never getting back

Sideways,  2 blokes drinking wine and complaining, just dull,
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: rose red on March 25, 2013, 09:55:53 AM
Dream Home (not to be confused with Dream House with Daniel Craig)  http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0831872/?ref_=fn_tt_tt_2

It looks like a home movie some friends decided to make on a boring weekend.  Seriously, I've never seen anything like it.  I've seen more professional footage and acting on America's Funniest Home Video.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: AnnaJane on March 25, 2013, 09:57:37 AM
Future War, though I also watched the MST3K version. I honestly think it's not possible for a human to watch the original version and not suffer significant brain trauma.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: guihong on March 25, 2013, 10:04:03 AM
Worst of just plain bad: Dumb and Dumber (or it may have been a sequel).  Worse, that was shown at a retreat!

So bad it's great: Tie between Attack of the Killer Tomatoes and Lord Love A Duck.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: siamesecat2965 on March 25, 2013, 10:06:20 AM
Worst movie i ever saw and actually the only one I've ever walked out of: The Color of MOney. This was just after Top Gun, which, as a college student in close proximity to the USNA, I loved. But this one. SOOOOO incredibly boring.

The other that comes to mind is The Royal Tennebaums. Which got RAVE reviews, and I kept waiting for it to get better but it never did. I just could not get into it. I'm still not completely sure what it was about.

And finally, to round out my tirfecta. The Butterfly Effect. I'm not good with movies that go back and forth, and where you can't quite figure out what the heck is going on.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Cami on March 25, 2013, 10:06:53 AM
1.Yul. It was about 1981 or so. NYC. My friend and I were meeting my boyfriend (now my dh), his best friend and his best friend's girlfriend in Manhattan. Best friend and his girlfriend lived in Manhattan and said they'd come up with our plans. Imagine our disappointment when the plans in NYC ON A SATURDAY  NIGHT were to go see a movie. Our disappointment deepened, however, when we got to the movie they were so excited about and it was in Turkish about prisoners on a weekend furlough. The movie was even worse than expected. It was horrid. To add insult to injury, the best friend fell asleep!  The best moment was when the guy behind us stood up about 1 hour into what seemed like a 6 hour marathon and yelled, "THIS IS THE WORST MOVIE EVER!" Best friend fell off his seat. THAT was fun.

2. The Weatherman with  Nicholas Cage from a few years ago. It was my friend's turn to pick the movie. She's a huge Cage fan. Horrible movie. Depressing. Exploitive of the girl actress. Depressing. Did I mention it was depressing? I wanted to leave. She kept insisting, "It has to get better." Uh, no, it doesn't. At the end of the movie, the guy next to me said, "I don't know why that guy did NOT commit suicide because after watching this movie, I want to." My friend announced that she had forfeited all future rights to pick movies as a result.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: athersgeo on March 25, 2013, 10:08:06 AM
Hoooo boy.

Worst film I got dragged to unwillingly (because I knew it was going to be dreadful): Johnny Mnemonic (it stars Keanu Reeves; nuff said)

Worst film I got stuck watching (because I was sleeping in the living room and thus couldn't go to bed until it was finished): City of Angels (it stars Nicholas Cage; nuff said)

Worst film seen on DVD (bought): Wicker Park (it stars Josh Hartnett as a pseudo stalker and it only goes downhill from there)

Worst film seen on DVD (rented): Black Mask 2 (90-120 minutes of my life I will never get back - and the only reason I made it through was in the hopes it would start making sense. It didn't.)

So-bad-its-good: The Scorpion King (it's utter drivel, but at least it's entertaining drivel!)


Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: MrTango on March 25, 2013, 10:14:02 AM
Worst movie I ever saw on TV was called (I think) "Atomic Twister."  It was a made-for-TV film about a tornado that threatens to cause a nuclear power plan to melt down, or something...

I've seen lots of bad movies in theatres, but two stand out.
"The Sixth Sense"  (I realized what the plot "twist" was going to be about two minutes after Bruce Willis got shot).
"The Perfect Storm"
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Thipu1 on March 25, 2013, 10:17:07 AM
I did sit through 'Ishtar' just to see how bad it was.  The reviews were correct.  It was on TV and the ads were a relief.

'Last Year at Marienbad'  was pretentious, pointless,plotless, and useless.  The projectionist could easily have gotten the reels mixed-up and no one would have noticed.  It was a sure-fire insomnia killer.

Also, although some will consider it heresy, I detest 'Casablanca'.  The movie looks like the script was being written as it was shot.  I later learned that was exactly what happened. 
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: MonteCristo on March 25, 2013, 10:29:57 AM
Whale Rider.  I still don't think my brain has fully recovered.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: alkira6 on March 25, 2013, 10:30:49 AM
Supernova. I cajoled DH to come watch it in the theaters on opening weekend.  To this day, every time I mention a movie that might possibly be even the slightest bit maybe a little iffy, I get "remember Supernova?"

Horrible science, horrible acting, complete nonsense plot, utterly absurd ending.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Shoo on March 25, 2013, 10:33:28 AM
Saving Private Ryan.  The only movie I have ever walked out on.  After the first 15 minutes, I just couldn't take it anymore, all that violence.  I do realize that war is violent, but I didn't expect the filmmakers to make it look so real.  I didn't need to see that.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Tini on March 25, 2013, 10:35:31 AM
Dungeons and Dragons. Picture the scene - Sicily, 1948.
Okay, I kid, Leicestersquare (where all the big cinemas are in London), circa 2000. On a rare weekend away from our two-year-old, we've finally got time to go to the cinema. There is a choice. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon or Dungeons and Dragons. My husband does the puppy dog eyes and we end up watching D&D. Got, it was bad. I still haven't forgiven him. Watching CT,HD on DVD did not have the same impact.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: I'mnotinsane on March 25, 2013, 10:37:34 AM
I'll add another Nicholas Cage movie to the mix:  Raising Arizona.   
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: blueyzca01 on March 25, 2013, 10:41:07 AM
I walked out of There's Something About Mary.  All the stuff with hurting the dog made me too upset. 

And if you accept the idea of being able to judge a movie after only 5 minutes:  Dude, Where's My Car?  My friend was dating "Hot Alien Chick #5" and made me watch it so he could show her off.  Oh dear Lord above, that's 5 minutes I'm never getting back. 

That movie made me realize that Barb Wire wasn't all that bad after all.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Morticia on March 25, 2013, 10:45:03 AM
House of 1000 Corpses. Rob Zombie not only owes me the price of admission, but 2 hours of my life as well. It seems sad to me that he doesn't get that you have to want to root for someone in a horror movie. If you just hate everyone, you have no investment in the plot.

Anyway, that movie is why we created the "Rob Zombie rule". We sat through that whole movie because it had to get better. It didn't. So, now, after 15 minutes or less, if a movie is dreadful, we acknowledge that it probably isn't going to get better and cut our losses.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: MERUNCC13 on March 25, 2013, 10:47:26 AM
Mine has to be "Eight Heads in a Duffle Bag" - this is the reason why I don't go to the movies with my hubby anymore (he picked it because it had Joe Pesci and thought it would be funny, NOT!)
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: MrTango on March 25, 2013, 10:49:37 AM
How could I forget: M Night Shyamalan's "The Last Airbender" - Horrible film, laugable acting, and an insult to the original cartoon.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: HGolightly on March 25, 2013, 10:50:57 AM
I agree with you about Johnny Mnemonic. A friend and I went to a matinee with a coupon for 50 cent admission.....we wanted our money back.

Don't troll me, flame me, flog me etc but I HATED Titanic. Great effects, great set & costume design but horrible, horrible writing and acting!
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Redwing on March 25, 2013, 10:52:22 AM
Good heavens, there's so many.  Throw Mama from the Train for one.  Lost in Translation.  You've Got Mail.  I know I'll think of more.

On the other hand, yay for Manos, Hands of Fate!  I loved MST and this was one of the best ones.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Redwing on March 25, 2013, 10:53:53 AM

Don't troll me, flame me, flog me etc but I HATED Titanic. Great effects, great set & costume design but horrible, horrible writing and acting!

I won't flame you and I'll jump right in there with you.  Overwrought emoting, horrible writing, and when you don't even like the main characters you're supposed to like, you know you're in a bad movie.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Virg on March 25, 2013, 10:54:41 AM
There are two that stick in my mind as not worth the effort.

The Core: If they had paid experts in all of the related fields of science to come up with inaccurate and implausible science for a movie, they couldn't have done worse than what actually happened.  I couldn't find a single thing about it that wasn't a character cliche, scientific BSing or ham-handed acting and directing.  I can usually find something, anything about a blockbuster that's a little bit redeeming, but not here.

Jacob's Ladder: If this had been a Cannes short, it would have been stellar.  The premise worked but the whole thing dragged.        On.        So.        Sooooooooooooo.       Long.  It was painful to watch the characters interact, and in the end, it just died because it was so slow, dull, and pointless.

Virg
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: siamesecat2965 on March 25, 2013, 11:08:45 AM
Saving Private Ryan.  The only movie I have ever walked out on.  After the first 15 minutes, I just couldn't take it anymore, all that violence.  I do realize that war is violent, but I didn't expect the filmmakers to make it look so real.  I didn't need to see that.

I stayed for the whole thing, but during those opening scenes, I sat and didn't move a muscle. I was also amazed at how realistic it was, so I can see why you left.  I don't know that I even breathed during that time.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: StuffedGrapeLeaves on March 25, 2013, 11:11:04 AM
Apt Pupil.  I love Ian McKellen, but that movie was just horrible.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: siamesecat2965 on March 25, 2013, 11:11:34 AM

Don't troll me, flame me, flog me etc but I HATED Titanic. Great effects, great set & costume design but horrible, horrible writing and acting!

I won't flame you and I'll jump right in there with you.  Overwrought emoting, horrible writing, and when you don't even like the main characters you're supposed to like, you know you're in a bad movie.

Add me to the list as well! I've only seen bits and pieces of it, but that was enough.

And I can also add Resevoir Dogs, way too violent, if I remember correctly, and....drum roll please. Dirty Dancing.

I think in all fairness, i saw it only when it had been in theaters, hyped to the nth degree, AND been on HBO, and finally saw it on video. when i was heartily sick of the soundtrack, hype etc.  i just didn't think it was as good as everyone and their mother said it was.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: shadowfox79 on March 25, 2013, 11:13:00 AM
How could I forget: M Night Shyamalan's "The Last Airbender" - Horrible film, laugable acting, and an insult to the original cartoon.

I agree that it was terrible, but being in the UK, I did at least get some inadvertent humour out of the repeated use of the word "bender". I don't think Shyamalan had a Brit-picker to hand when he made the film.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: athersgeo on March 25, 2013, 11:13:37 AM

Don't troll me, flame me, flog me etc but I HATED Titanic. Great effects, great set & costume design but horrible, horrible writing and acting!

I won't flame you and I'll jump right in there with you.  Overwrought emoting, horrible writing, and when you don't even like the main characters you're supposed to like, you know you're in a bad movie.

I kinda enjoyed that one - but I definitely take your points about the characters. I think it helped that I was sitting in Mann's Chinese Theater when I watched it, so I could have been watching a Keanu Reeves film and have found it passingly entertaining... (*ducks as the Keanu fans hurl objects*)

Another one that I loathed, though: Forrest Gump.

Had to sit through it (it was official "entertainment" on a pre-university camp thing for female engineering students) and kept waiting for the plot to start. It didn't.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: darling on March 25, 2013, 11:17:30 AM
2012: Ice Age, via Netflix. My son and I were laughing so hard through most of it... Let's see... a volcano in Iceland erupted, causing a massive piece of a glacier to come barreling through Newfoundland on a heading towards... you guessed it... New York City. Highlights include footage of the main character and his family driving through "horrendous" blizzard conditions (looks like they filmed in light blowing snow, and used the same footage on a loop - we live in Iowa, and every time it snowed this winter, we would cry out, ICE AGE 2013!!!!), the military using nukes to try to stop or slow down the out of control glacier, the family somehow actually finding the daughter who was stuck in New York, despite no cell connections, and New York City being, well, as big as New York City, and some guy car jacking the family, despite NOT having a gun, and the family having a giant SUV.

Seriously, it was so bad it was funny. You could almost hear the actors mentally eviscerating their agents for getting them into this.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: MrTango on March 25, 2013, 11:21:25 AM
Saving Private Ryan.  The only movie I have ever walked out on.  After the first 15 minutes, I just couldn't take it anymore, all that violence.  I do realize that war is violent, but I didn't expect the filmmakers to make it look so real.  I didn't need to see that.

I stayed for the whole thing, but during those opening scenes, I sat and didn't move a muscle. I was also amazed at how realistic it was, so I can see why you left.  I don't know that I even breathed during that time.

I saw Private Ryan when it was in theaters.  At the end of the D-day scene, I looked down and realized my popcorn was nearly gone.  Whenever someone mentions that movie, I still wonder what it said about a 15-year-old boy who sat scarfing down popcorn during that scene...

I also hated "Titanic" for the acting.  I saw it four times in the theater because watching the ship sink was totally worth being exposed to horrible acting and Kate Winslet's...assets.

When I saw "Johnny Mnemonic" I thought it'd be awesome to be able to incorporate an artificial data storage device in someone's head.  I'd bet you could get all the raw information necessary for a couple of Doctoral level degrees into a microSD card.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: magicdomino on March 25, 2013, 11:26:08 AM
Saving Private Ryan.  The only movie I have ever walked out on.  After the first 15 minutes, I just couldn't take it anymore, all that violence.  I do realize that war is violent, but I didn't expect the filmmakers to make it look so real.  I didn't need to see that.

I stayed for the whole thing, but during those opening scenes, I sat and didn't move a muscle. I was also amazed at how realistic it was, so I can see why you left.  I don't know that I even breathed during that time.

One of the group that I was with spent the first 15 minutes of Saving Private Ryan in the lobby.  According to a theater employee, this was not uncommon, and he was able to tell her when it was safe to go back inside.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Cz. Burrito on March 25, 2013, 11:29:47 AM
So bad it was still bad: "Master of Disguise"

I actually watched it on purpose due to a really colorful bad review with the following (paraphrased): "The only way to explain this movie is that Hollywood executives are a race of aliens and this has been released as a test for a planned invasion of Planet Earth.  If anybody laughs at this movie, we are too stupid to make good slaves."

It was as bad as promised.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: heartmug on March 25, 2013, 11:31:48 AM
Someone already said it:  Ishtar.

Also Vanilla Sky and Howard the Duck.  Wish I could have those hours from my life back.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: wolfie on March 25, 2013, 11:35:18 AM
Eyes Wide Shut.


I got treated to that movie and I still think I paid too much.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Bijou on March 25, 2013, 11:36:26 AM
The Sixth Sense is one of my favorite movies.
Lord, Love a Duck, I couldn't even finish watching.
I didn't like the book and liked the movie even less...Gone With the Wind.  it made me shy of movies with overtures.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Lovemykids on March 25, 2013, 11:39:56 AM
Apt Pupil.  I love Ian McKellen, but that movie was just horrible.

I never saw this, but was it based on a Stephen King novella?  About a boy who discovers his neighbor is a former Nazi concentration camp guard or physician?  If so, that story was so disturbing to me, I can't imagine the movie.

Only movie I ever walked out on was Angie, with Geena Davis.  My college roommate and I went to it, and walked out halfway through.  I can't even remember what it was about, but I remember thinking the acting was just horrible.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Bottlecaps on March 25, 2013, 11:40:38 AM
It looks like a home movie some friends decided to make on a boring weekend.  Seriously, I've never seen anything like it.  I've seen more professional footage and acting on America's Funniest Home Video.

This describes my nomination for the so-bad-it's-just-plain-excruciating-to-watch category - "In The Dead of Winter." Mr. Bottlecaps and I have one of those horror movie packs that comes with usually six or eight movies, all B movies, and they're usually not great at all but we kind of enjoy watching B movies so that doesn't matter to us. So, after watching a few in the pack that were decent (by our tastes, anyway), we watched this one. That's two hours of my life I'm never getting back, unfortunately. We kept watching despite the crappy filming and crappy acting because we thought, "Well, maybe the plot will get better." It didn't. It was nauseatingly awful, the filming really did look like it was done with someone's home video recorder, and the acting seemed like they just went out on the street up to random people and said, "Hey, wanna make a movie this weekend? We'll pay ya twenty bucks!" If you ever get the chance to watch this movie, take a pass, seriously.

House of 1000 Corpses. Rob Zombie not only owes me the price of admission, but 2 hours of my life as well. It seems sad to me that he doesn't get that you have to want to root for someone in a horror movie. If you just hate everyone, you have no investment in the plot.

Anyway, that movie is why we created the "Rob Zombie rule". We sat through that whole movie because it had to get better. It didn't. So, now, after 15 minutes or less, if a movie is dreadful, we acknowledge that it probably isn't going to get better and cut our losses.

LOL, love the name of the rule. :) Perhaps I should make one up and call it the "Dead of Winter rule." I actually didn't mind "House of 1000 Corpses" though. Really the only character I absolutely could not stand was Baby. It's not at the top of my favorites list or anything, but I am willing to watch it with Mr. Bottlecaps (he loves the movie).
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: turtleIScream on March 25, 2013, 11:43:42 AM
Horrible movies I wish I could forget watching:

The Million Dollar Hotel
Prelude to a Kiss
The Last Airbender

Movies that are so bad they're good:

Surf Ninjas
Starship Troopers (1 & 3)
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Venus193 on March 25, 2013, 11:56:09 AM
Eyes Wide Shut.


I got treated to that movie and I still think I paid too much.

Agreed. 

A friend fell asleep on this film three times (from a rental) in the same place, missing the last half hour.  The same thing happened to me when I attempted to watch this on HBO. 

My mother taped it off HBO and I watched the last hour of it at her place.  I want those three hours back, so I told my friend she didn't miss anything worthwhile.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: jaxsue on March 25, 2013, 12:00:13 PM
The worst movie ever watched on purpose:  Manos:  Hands of Fate, but fortunately it was the MST3K version.

Worst movie ever watched by accident:  Spies Like Us.

Agreed. Anything on MST3K is worth watching!
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: jaxsue on March 25, 2013, 12:02:37 PM

Don't troll me, flame me, flog me etc but I HATED Titanic. Great effects, great set & costume design but horrible, horrible writing and acting!

I won't flame you and I'll jump right in there with you.  Overwrought emoting, horrible writing, and when you don't even like the main characters you're supposed to like, you know you're in a bad movie.

That movie was so full of holes it resembled swiss cheese! Leonard Di's character survived for a long time in that water. Wrong. Hitting that water would have been like hitting cement. And if you survived that, hypothermia would've killed you very quickly.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: jaxsue on March 25, 2013, 12:05:05 PM
I agree with so many suggestions here: Howard the Duck, Vanilla Sky, Ishtar, Eyes Wide Shut.

My own addition: The Beach. When you don't care what happens to anyone in the cast, the movie maker has failed.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: wolfie on March 25, 2013, 12:09:09 PM

Don't troll me, flame me, flog me etc but I HATED Titanic. Great effects, great set & costume design but horrible, horrible writing and acting!

I won't flame you and I'll jump right in there with you.  Overwrought emoting, horrible writing, and when you don't even like the main characters you're supposed to like, you know you're in a bad movie.

That movie was so full of holes it resembled swiss cheese! Leonard Di's character survived for a long time in that water. Wrong. Hitting that water would have been like hitting cement. And if you survived that, hypothermia would've killed you very quickly.
It's been years since I watched that movie but didn't they ride the ship down into the water? I didn't think they actually jumped.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Thipu1 on March 25, 2013, 12:13:51 PM

Don't troll me, flame me, flog me etc but I HATED Titanic. Great effects, great set & costume design but horrible, horrible writing and acting!

I won't flame you and I'll jump right in there with you.  Overwrought emoting, horrible writing, and when you don't even like the main characters you're supposed to like, you know you're in a bad movie.

I agree.  'Titanic' was way over the top in every way.  Ship freaks like us still enjoy it the way others enjoy the 'Rocky Horror Picture Show'. 
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: robobecky on March 25, 2013, 12:16:22 PM
First Daughter with Katie Holmes and Forest Whitaker.  Saw it with a friend and I don't know why we watched the whole thing.  It was horrible.  Bad plot, bad acting, bad writing, everything.  you could see the boom mike in some shots!  And the soundtrack was off in places too.  Plus the ending made no sense.  There is no way the president's daughter is going to be allowed to drive to college alone with no guards or anything.  Hello, that is a kidnapping waiting to happen.
I second Eyes Wide Shut.  Horrible.  I also just don't like Tom Cruise.  I have serious problems with him after his statements about psychiatry. >:(
Mulhullond Drive.  Watched it twice, still can't figure out what the plot was.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Morticia on March 25, 2013, 12:17:28 PM

Don't troll me, flame me, flog me etc but I HATED Titanic. Great effects, great set & costume design but horrible, horrible writing and acting!

I won't flame you and I'll jump right in there with you.  Overwrought emoting, horrible writing, and when you don't even like the main characters you're supposed to like, you know you're in a bad movie.

I agree.  'Titanic' was way over the top in every way.  Ship freaks like us still enjoy it the way others enjoy the 'Rocky Horror Picture Show'. 

Try Titanic II. (Not kidding, real movie. Real, bad movie).
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: StuffedGrapeLeaves on March 25, 2013, 12:19:29 PM
Apt Pupil.  I love Ian McKellen, but that movie was just horrible.

I never saw this, but was it based on a Stephen King novella?  About a boy who discovers his neighbor is a former Nazi concentration camp guard or physician?  If so, that story was so disturbing to me, I can't imagine the movie.

That's the one.  I never read the novella, but the movie was inconsistent.  It can't decide whether it wants to be a message movie, a thriller, or something else. 
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Geekychick1984 on March 25, 2013, 12:33:11 PM
Australia with Hugh Jackman and Nicole Kidman.  Even the hotness of Hugh Jackman couldn't save that one for me.  My DH won't let me forget that I made him see that movie.

Battleship We rented it On Demand recently.  We expected it to be bad but maybe enjoyable for the action sequences, but it was much worse than we expected. 

Garden State I thought I'd like it being from the Garden State and having experienced depression in the past, but it was boring.

Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: eltf177 on March 25, 2013, 12:34:58 PM

Don't troll me, flame me, flog me etc but I HATED Titanic. Great effects, great set & costume design but horrible, horrible writing and acting!

I won't flame you and I'll jump right in there with you.  Overwrought emoting, horrible writing, and when you don't even like the main characters you're supposed to like, you know you're in a bad movie.

That movie was so full of holes it resembled swiss cheese! Leonard Di's character survived for a long time in that water. Wrong. Hitting that water would have been like hitting cement. And if you survived that, hypothermia would've killed you very quickly.

Not to mention that the water temperature was actually _below_ freezing. Just wading around it inside the ship would kill you by hyopthermia pretty quickly.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: GraceSullivan on March 25, 2013, 12:41:55 PM
Another one that the critics loved that I hated: Bridges of Madison County.  Snore.

Add me to the list of Titanic and There's Something about Mary loathers.

A bad movie that I secretly (not so secretly now...) love: The Mummy Returns.  Its my 'having-a-bad-day' 'need-to-not-think' movie.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Virg on March 25, 2013, 12:43:13 PM
jaxsue wrote:

"That movie was so full of holes it resembled swiss cheese!"

To pass the opportunity for such a perfect joke is most sorrowful.

"Leonard Di's character survived for a long time in that water. Wrong. Hitting that water would have been like hitting cement. And if you survived that, hypothermia would've killed you very quickly."

They didn't jump, they stood on the back rail as the stern section sank out from under them.  Once in the water, I estimate that Jack was gone within twenty minutes.  I agree that the water temperature should have played a bigger role, but in the end it wasn't a gargantuan stretch to what they did and so I could look past it.

StuffedGrapeLeaves wrote:

"That's the one.  I never read the novella, but the movie was inconsistent.  It can't decide whether it wants to be a message movie, a thriller, or something else."

It wanted to be both.  I liked Sir Ian in the film, but he was obviously carrying the whole thing and in the end, it was spread out too much for even him to save entirely.  If you want to see how strong an actor he is, it's worth the effort, but if not I have to agree that he's really the only good part about it.

Virg
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Moralia on March 25, 2013, 12:45:25 PM
 Saving Private Ryan was OK, not great but OK, until the very end with the crying and emoting in the graveyard. I....cackled...it was just so hilariously overwrought.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: nuit93 on March 25, 2013, 12:53:37 PM
Eyes Wide Shut---horrible and I cannot to this day see what the big deal was about it.

Da Vinci Code---no. Just...no.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: CharlieBraun on March 25, 2013, 12:57:40 PM
Eyes Wide Shut---horrible and I cannot to this day see what the big deal was about it.

Da Vinci Code---no. Just...no.

Eyes Wide Shut actually made scrabble boring. 

A Time of Destiny...terrific cast, complete ruin of a film.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: turtleIScream on March 25, 2013, 01:00:00 PM

Battleship We rented it On Demand recently.  We expected it to be bad but maybe enjoyable for the action sequences, but it was much worse than we expected. 

We saw this with our best friends. He was in the Navy, so I expected he would hate it worse than we did (if that's even possible!) but no. He loved it. Fortunately, we love him for reasons other than his taste in movies.

Garden State I thought I'd like it being from the Garden State and having experienced depression in the past, but it was boring.

I was trying to remember which NetFlix movie we recently started to watch and turned off after 20 minutes. This is the one. It was so bad, I apparently blocked it from my mind.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: KarenK on March 25, 2013, 01:01:39 PM
I didn't like a lot of the movies already mentioned in this thread, but the worst movie I ever saw was Tunnel Rats, directed by Uwe Boll. Awful movie. I will never watch another movie directed by this hack.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: staceym on March 25, 2013, 01:01:48 PM
I guess I can add 

Pulp Fiction

I know that is sacrilege to say because it is such a cult classic; but I don't think I handled more than 10 minutes of the movie - glad that I only rented it and didn't waste money at the theater..


the other was Muriel's Wedding - only rented it because someone went on and on about how good it was  :o sorry, no
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: lilfox on March 25, 2013, 01:25:06 PM
Interesting.  I really liked several of the movies mentioned earlier (and not the so-bad-they're-good ones) but agree on most of the others.

My own offering:
Fargo.  I hate it when movies include meaningless but personalized violence (see also Something about Mary and others of that sort).  It takes me right out of the movie.

However, meaningless impersonalized violence is okay by me (see any James Bond/action movie ever).


Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: rose red on March 25, 2013, 01:29:37 PM
the other was Muriel's Wedding - only rented it because someone went on and on about how good it was  :o sorry, no

I didn't like it either.  It was marketed as a fun chick flick rom-com so I was disappointed by how depressing it was.  Then years later I said OK, now that I know what it's about, I can watch it again in the right frame of mind.  Still didn't like it.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: cutejellybeen on March 25, 2013, 01:36:26 PM
Eyes Wide Shut.


I got treated to that movie and I still think I paid too much.

This is the only movie I ever seriously considered walking out of. i was 17, I have no idea how I got into the movie, or why, when I told my parents what I was going to see they didnt try to stop me. I guess they thought I could make decisions myself?  I wouldnt have listened to them, but they would have loved the I told you so part lol
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Thipu1 on March 25, 2013, 01:44:01 PM
Up go a point, I agree with 'Pulp Fiction'. The story was completely scatter-shot.  However,we enjoyed the film because of the 'Doom' sequence.

We were both 'Doom' players and had fun with the jokes.  We liked  the hand reaching toward the green door, the chain saw and Bruce Willis looking like the Marine at 50 percent health in the end of the sequence.  That was a hoot. 
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: staceym on March 25, 2013, 01:55:02 PM
the other was Muriel's Wedding - only rented it because someone went on and on about how good it was  :o sorry, no

I didn't like it either.  It was marketed as a fun chick flick rom-com so I was disappointed by how depressing it was.  Then years later I said OK, now that I know what it's about, I can watch it again in the right frame of mind.  Still didn't like it.

yes, that's the reason I watched it and was "huh???" - the person who went on and on about it; also mentioned how funny it was - didn't seen the humor at all; and yes depressing
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Layla Miller on March 25, 2013, 02:22:30 PM
I POD everyone who mentioned Mystery Science Theater 3000.  To my fellow fans: if you haven't already, check out Rifftrax  (http://www.rifftrax.com/)and Cinematic Titanic (http://www.cinematictitanic.com/).  You won't be sorry!

As for non-riffed bad movies, the first ones that come to mind are Valentine (starring David Boreanaz and Denise Richards) and The Skulls (Joshua Jackson).  I don't remember many details, but I recall Valentine was a very formulaic horror movie with a plot "twist" you could see coming from miles away and The Skulls was just...dull.  Both were like the visual equivalent of white noise.  :)

Oh, and just because I know a handful of people here will get it: Blast Hardcheese!
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Redneck Gravy on March 25, 2013, 02:46:02 PM
The Matrix - worst movie ever

The Campaign - worst movie lately (another two hours of my life gone forever...)

Other serious dislikes: Eyes Wide Shut, Titanic, Dumb & Dumber


*edited because I misspelled Dumb
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: bo on March 25, 2013, 02:50:07 PM
Quote
Apt Pupil.  I love Ian McKellen, but that movie was just horrible.

I loved the story and Ian Mckellen..great combo for a great movie right? Man that ending bugged me to no end!!
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: jedikaiti on March 25, 2013, 03:03:49 PM
Supernova isn't merely bad. It's so bad that I tend to enumerate all the ways in which it sucks rocks. Starting with the whole movie being about a dingbat so-called scientist who can't add.

Pulp Fiction and Reservoir Dogs are actually 2 of my favorites, but then again, I do so love Tarantino.

Ultraviolet I actually rather liked, but then again, I never expected more than fun action and nifty visuals. I want that color-changing hair, though!

Austin Powers, however, is one of my I'll never get that time back movies. I was spending Thanksgiving with some friends and they decided to watch it. Ugh!

Now for a few DF and I have watched lately: (We've been having fun with B movies)

So bad you'll laugh: Zombie Lake. This one isn't a B movie, it's a Z movie. Zombie Nazis in a lake in France. Plot so thin science can't measure it, the actors appear to be amateurs who phoned it in, and I think the makeup "artist" was blind. Even the gratuitous nudity was laughable.

If you love cheesy movies, this is a must-see: Iron Sky. I am not joking here - it's about Nazis establishing a colony on the dark side of the Moon in 1945, don't know they lost the war, and are coming back to invade Earth in 2018 after a couple of astronauts on the moon as part of the president's re-election campaign. The POTUS in this movie is a hilarious Sarah Palin parody who puts her campaign manager (who'd been loved and ditched by the Nazi commander) in command of the space fleet fighting off the Nazis.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: BatCity on March 25, 2013, 03:12:47 PM
Oooh, where shall I start?

I couldn't get into Raising Arizona. That's the movie that taught me not to go in with high expectations, regardless of the reviews.

I recently watched Beautiful Creatures because I'm a nice mom and my daughter wanted to see it.  I really wanted those two hours back.

But the real kicker is a made-for-TV movie that DH and I started over the weekend. Are you ready for this? Chupacabra vs. the Alamo. We thought it would be fun because we miss living in Texas, and I'm an Erik Estrada fan from the CHiPs days. We made it about twenty minutes in before we finally got tired of laughing and changed the channel.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: magicdomino on March 25, 2013, 03:42:50 PM
But the real kicker is a made-for-TV movie that DH and I started over the weekend. Are you ready for this? Chupacabra vs. the Alamo. We thought it would be fun because we miss living in Texas, and I'm an Erik Estrada fan from the CHiPs days. We made it about twenty minutes in before we finally got tired of laughing and changed the channel.

Sounds like a SyFy channel movie.  Speaking of which, I should nominate the many bad Giant-Man-Eating-Animal movies, but I rather like them.   :D  How about the many SyFy channel movies that don't feature man-eating animals.  I mean, if there isn't a giant snakehead, what's the point?
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Chaney on March 25, 2013, 03:50:53 PM
I agree with Titanic, I always say the hero in that movie was the iceberg.

I'll add the remake of Halloween, Rob Zombie needs to keep to music.  That is one of the few movies I say I want those two hours of my life back. 

Oh and the remake of The Fog, the original may not have been the best but it at least had an ending.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: robobecky on March 25, 2013, 03:53:43 PM
Thought of another one--Meet the Feebles.  So disturbing.  Its like Muppets on crack.  I actually own this movie  :-[ and my friend's reaction after watching it was "I feel dirty now.  I think I need a shower".
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: violinp on March 25, 2013, 04:17:31 PM
Octopussy. I dislike Roger Moore as Bond to start out with (not his fault, I just prefer Connery and Craig), and the jokes are too tired for me, plus death by octopus, plus Bond dressing as a clown. I would rather watch George Lazenby's Bond movie over and over again rather than watch Octopussy ever again. I would rather make a movie of myself scrubbing my feet than ever watch that stupid, stupid, horrible movie again.

The Son of No One. Basically, a person threatens a man who's become a cop for murders he committed as a child. The people he murdered were scumbags and no one missed them, so a cop gave him a break and never brought him in. Apparently, that's unconscionable, so she has to threaten to blow the case wide open more than a decade after it all happened.

And, because of her antics, she gets a journalist and her own brother (who is the cop's best friend from childhood) killed. Tell me, please, how on earth did that help anyone? Instead of basically blackmailing people she believes to be immoral, why didn't she, I don't know, go to the newspaper and just have them print a story about it? But no, now even more people are dead because she was a complete idiot.

The Prince and the Showgirl. Good grief, what an atrocity. I really did try to watch it, but 10 - 15 minutes was all I could take. I'm not sure who was worst in that movie, and, frankly I don't care. By the time I decided it wasn't for me, I was about to hit the TV because everyone was all wrong for their roles.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Petticoats on March 25, 2013, 04:29:43 PM
I've certainly seen some duds, but two stand out as movies that I remember resenting as I watched because it was time I'd never get back--both foisted upon me by the same friend, in fact: Vampire's Kiss (Nicolas Cage, ugh) and Gettysburg.

And I loathed Titanic. I couldn't stand the leads, and Kate Winslet looked about 15 years older than Leonardo (I know she wasn't, but she looked it, especially with all the anachronistic makeup plastered onto her face). And he looked like such a kid that I felt like she was Mrs. Robinsoning him. I was out of the theater so fast when it was over that I didn't hear the Celine Dion song over the credits, and couldn't figure out the connection for some time. The one good thing: Billy Zane looked positively edible.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Last_Dance on March 25, 2013, 05:01:22 PM
Love me if you dare, a 2003 French movie. My friends and I went in expecting a light-hearted romantic comedy, we all loathed it. Absolutely loathed it.
[spoilers below]


the protagonists were selfish jerks who kept hurting each other but couldn't stand to stay apart. So they commit suicide by getting themself buried in a concrete pillar.
Have I mentioned that they were both married and he also had kids?!?! Of course, we're not supposed to care about his wife or her husband because they are not their One True Love.

I know it's been ten years, I know. I still want those two hours of my life back!
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: jpcher on March 25, 2013, 05:13:36 PM

Worst film I got stuck watching (because I was sleeping in the living room and thus couldn't go to bed until it was finished): City of Angels (it stars Nicholas Cage; nuff said)


 :o :o :o

Wow. That's one of my top 10 best movies ever!



(going back to read the whole thread now, I'll keep the rest of my comments until I'm done reading. :P)
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Kaora on March 25, 2013, 05:35:49 PM
Worst On Purpose: Epic Movie (after five minutes we killed it) and This Island Earth, the MTS3K version.  Also, Your Royal Highness, which we did get a kick out of. ;)

Worst By Accident: Inglorious Basterds, recommended by a friend that, incidentally, I'm no longer friends with.  I kept waiting for something funny... or good... but I just couldn't get into it.  The movie came and passed and that was that.

Either that, or Stephen King's The Rose, which I was forced to watch at a sleepover.  On my birthday.  But not held for my birthday, I was an afterthought invitation to someone else's goodbye party.  Maybe the circumstances have colored the movie for me, but I was never found of horror anyways.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: jpcher on March 25, 2013, 05:56:36 PM
'K, I'm back! (I didn't want to post over someone else's comments.)

Apt Pupil.  I love Ian McKellen, but that movie was just horrible.

Didn't see the movie (didn't even know they made one) but Oh.My.Goodness, what a disturbing book.



The Best Worst movie -- It's so funny that you can't stop laughing, even though it was suppose to be a serious drama -- Drum roll, please:

"Plan 9 from Outer Space"

If you're into really bad sci-fi, watch this movie and see how the styrofoam gravestones were held up by wooden props. Watch Bela Lugosi's scene repeated over and over for dramatic effect (apparently he died during the making of this movie?) Look for the ladder inside the space ship that leads to nowhere . . . Sooo many "wrongs" it makes it right. 8)



Worst and probably only movie that I refused to finish watching? "From Dusk Till Dawn"

I actually tried sitting through it twice.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: SamiHami on March 25, 2013, 06:54:43 PM
Anything with Jim Carrey. Really-I don't get why anyone would like his brand of humor. It's just not funny in any way that I can see.

I completely agree about Eyes Wide Shut. Awful, terrible movie.

As much as I absolutely adore Al Pacino, I cannot stand Scent Of A Woman. I know, that's the one he won an oscar for, but it was just so bad.

Anyone else ever seen the only movie ever filmed entirely in Esperanto (can't remember the title right off)? Had William Shatner in it? No? Good for you. Don't waste your time. Once you get over the novelty of you, you realize it's just not good.

The English Patient. I didn't get through much of it before I turned it off, but I was really hoping he would hurry up & die so the torture would be over.

My husband has Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter at home waiting for us to watch together. I am dreading it...I'd like to say I hope it'll have some redeeming value to it, but...hmmm....I suspect it will belong on this list as well.

And I LOVE LOVE LOVE Lord Love A Duck!





Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: joraemi on March 25, 2013, 06:55:35 PM
Worst movie ever: Open Water

Runner up: Phonebooth- land version of Open Water

Worst horror flicks for me were The Blair Witch project (profanity every other word is not dialogue!) and The Ring
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: rose red on March 25, 2013, 07:06:46 PM
Anything with Jim Carrey. Really-I don't get why anyone would like his brand of humor. It's just not funny in any way that I can see.

He did a few things that's not too "Jim Carrey."  I liked Liar, Liar (it's humor, but not too bad) and The Majestic (not a comedy).  The Truman Show is not goofy either.  There's also the movie where he played Andy Kaufman.

eta: nobody has to like him or his movies, but he doesn't just play goofy and gross.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Moralia on March 25, 2013, 07:11:28 PM
Knocked Up
Having witnessed, up close and personal, several badly mismatched couples who only progressed beyond dating because of an unplanned pregnancy, I seriously could not find humor in it.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Library Dragon on March 25, 2013, 07:25:32 PM

Don't troll me, flame me, flog me etc but I HATED Titanic. Great effects, great set & costume design but horrible, horrible writing and acting!

I won't flame you and I'll jump right in there with you.  Overwrought emoting, horrible writing, and when you don't even like the main characters you're supposed to like, you know you're in a bad movie.

You know it's really bad when the highlight of the film is Ioan Gruffudd and his part is 30 seconds of the film.  Aggravating people making stupid decisions. 

1. Roman Polansk's "Tess"
2.  Warren Beatty's "Reds"

Long, bloviating, boooooooring, wastes of film. 

DH and I were dating and drove 45 min to a theater in Brussels that showed current films in English.  I think it was another sign that we were meant to be together as we both detested "Tess." (That and NO camping ever.)

I've tried to watch both again thinking I just misjudged them.  They couldn't be that bad.  Yes, yes they are. 

ET put posts together.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Optimoose Prime on March 25, 2013, 07:26:25 PM
Beowulf, the CG one from a couple years back.  Dang, that was horrid.

Yor: The Hunter From the Future.  There are no words except, Why?!
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: SamiHami on March 25, 2013, 07:32:50 PM
Anything with Jim Carrey. Really-I don't get why anyone would like his brand of humor. It's just not funny in any way that I can see.

He did a few things that's not too "Jim Carrey."  I liked Liar, Liar (it's humor, but not too bad) and The Majestic (not a comedy).  The Truman Show is not goofy either.  There's also the movie where he played Andy Kaufman.

eta: nobody has to like him or his movies, but he doesn't just play goofy and gross.

The only one I found to be tolerable was the Truman Show, but I still didn't find it to be all that good.

Oh, and how could I forget the Blair Witch Project?

And, I'll probably get flamed for this one...but I just never liked Dr. Zhivago. Dull and unengaging imho!
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Kaypeep on March 25, 2013, 07:34:27 PM
"Metropolitan".  My friends and I saw it in the early 90's.  It was so bad that 20 years later when discussing films, we say "On a scale of 1 to Metropolitan" to express how bad the movie is.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: jpcher on March 25, 2013, 07:38:43 PM
And, I'll probably get flamed for this one...but I just never liked Dr. Zhivago. Dull and unengaging imho!

I'll agree on this one. My mother loved Dr. Zhivago, so I watched it through one time. I was pretty bored through the whole thing.

I think the reason my mother loved it was because of the scenery . . . where she grew up. Or maybe she had a secret crush on Omar Sharif? But i didn't want to ask. ::)
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Emmy on March 25, 2013, 07:44:38 PM
I have several worsts that haven't been mentioned yet:

Two if by Sea - Saundra Bullock and Denis Leary.  I even gave that movie a second chance and still couldn't watch it all the way through
Astronaut's Wife, Time Traveler's Wife, The Box, and The Order are also on my worst list
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Library Dragon on March 25, 2013, 07:49:17 PM
Octopussy. I dislike Roger Moore as Bond to start out with (not his fault, I just prefer Connery and Craig), and the jokes are too tired for me, plus death by octopus, plus Bond dressing as a clown. I would rather watch George Lazenby's Bond movie over and over again rather than watch Octopussy ever again. I would rather make a movie of myself scrubbing my feet than ever watch that stupid, stupid, horrible movie again.
~~~~

The Prince and the Showgirl. Good grief, what an atrocity. I really did try to watch it, but 10 - 15 minutes was all I could take. I'm not sure who was worst in that movie, and, frankly I don't care. By the time I decided it wasn't for me, I was about to hit the TV because everyone was all wrong for their roles.

Agree with both of these.  (I especially agree with your Bond preferences.) I like Olivier and Monroe, but this film didn't work.  It wasn't funny and it wasn't romantic.  I have to watch "Now Voyager" to wash out my brain if I have to watch TP&TSG with my grandmother.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: andi on March 25, 2013, 08:10:44 PM
But the real kicker is a made-for-TV movie that DH and I started over the weekend. Are you ready for this? Chupacabra vs. the Alamo. We thought it would be fun because we miss living in Texas, and I'm an Erik Estrada fan from the CHiPs days. We made it about twenty minutes in before we finally got tired of laughing and changed the channel.

Sounds like a SyFy channel movie.  Speaking of which, I should nominate the many bad Giant-Man-Eating-Animal movies, but I rather like them.   :D  How about the many SyFy channel movies that don't feature man-eating animals.  I mean, if there isn't a giant snakehead, what's the point?

Oh yeah - it wa a SY-Fy channel flick. Hubby and I LOVE "bad" sci-fi movies and we watched that one!!  Love us some MST3000 too!!

I watched the first 15 minutes of "saving private Ryan" with my eyes closed and. Head tucked in my lap.  I was not prepared to see that movie when we went to see it (first date - tried for a comedy that sold out)

I loved "gone with the wind" as a kid - saw it in the theater when it was re-released for it's 50th and HATED it

Glad I'm no the only one hating "sideways" - everyone tried to make me feel bad about it but "blech".  Oh - and the remake of "the hills have eyes".
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Whimsyone on March 25, 2013, 08:16:10 PM
I confess..don't hate me! Neither my husband or I liked "Les Miz". Huge, over-dramatic waste of time! And I'm a singer! Didn't like the sung dialog, emotional messes of main songs, or Anne Hathaway coming back for Hugh Jackman at the end. Very cheesy! But I did like Helene and Sasha in their parts! And Jackman's "Send Him Home."
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: violinp on March 25, 2013, 08:21:45 PM
Octopussy. I dislike Roger Moore as Bond to start out with (not his fault, I just prefer Connery and Craig), and the jokes are too tired for me, plus death by octopus, plus Bond dressing as a clown. I would rather watch George Lazenby's Bond movie over and over again rather than watch Octopussy ever again. I would rather make a movie of myself scrubbing my feet than ever watch that stupid, stupid, horrible movie again.
~~~~

The Prince and the Showgirl. Good grief, what an atrocity. I really did try to watch it, but 10 - 15 minutes was all I could take. I'm not sure who was worst in that movie, and, frankly I don't care. By the time I decided it wasn't for me, I was about to hit the TV because everyone was all wrong for their roles.

Agree with both of these.  (I especially agree with your Bond preferences.) I like Olivier and Monroe, but this film didn't work.  It wasn't funny and it wasn't romantic.  I have to watch "Now Voyager" to wash out my brain if I have to watch TP&TSG with my grandmother.

Ha! You have great taste in Bette Davis movies!  :D
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: jedikaiti on March 25, 2013, 08:39:29 PM
Anything with Jim Carrey. Really-I don't get why anyone would like his brand of humor. It's just not funny in any way that I can see.

He did a few things that's not too "Jim Carrey."  I liked Liar, Liar (it's humor, but not too bad) and The Majestic (not a comedy).  The Truman Show is not goofy either.  There's also the movie where he played Andy Kaufman.

eta: nobody has to like him or his movies, but he doesn't just play goofy and gross.

I am not into the Jim Carrey brand of humor (or, eve, most American comedies), but I did enjoy Liar, Liar.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: HGolightly on March 25, 2013, 09:10:28 PM
SamiHami I love old, classic  Hollywood movies but I have never been able to stay awake during Dr Zhivago.....and I am an insomniac. Booooooooorrrrrriiiiiinnnnggggg!
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Diane AKA Traska on March 25, 2013, 09:36:03 PM
Worst movie ever for me:  Dr Strangelove.  There wasn't one enjoyable moment in that entire black hole.  People say it's a dark comedy, to which Isay "Is 'dark' code name for 'ineffective' now?"  They wasted a lot of good actors (they deliberately wasted the talent of George C Scott...) and I will never willingly sit through another minute of it.  I even heard it was one of the best movies, ever, so I watched to the end credits.  That was one of the three worst decisions I've ever made, and I've seen the inside of a jail cell.

Other horrid, horrid movies with no redeeming value (that I've seen at least half of, so as not to fill the list with "I want those five minutes back"):

Twilight.  Rifftrax made it barely tolerable.
Windtalkers.  Nicholas Cage at his... well, Nicholas Cage-iest.  The man couldn't act sad if you told him he'd have to sit through a Nicholas Cage movie marathon.
I second The Core.  When you can make Deep Core look good by comparison, oh my.
Star Trek (2009).  Words cannot express the depths to which this movie sank, then started drilling.
Hulk (2003).  It's a wonder the Marvel movieverse even survived it.
The Dark Knight.  Dull, plodding, and Batman's lines made me laugh far more than Joker's.  (Mostly because he sounded like he gargles with thumbtacks)
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Gyburc on March 25, 2013, 10:09:46 PM
I'm not sure this was the worst film I've ever seen (that honour goes to In The Name Of The King: A Dungeon Siege Tale), but DH and I tried to watch There Will Be Blood last weekend. We sat through two hours and then just gave up and turned it off. It didn't help that every time I saw a close-up of Daniel Day-Lewis, he reminded me of Inigo Montoya.

This was supposed to be a really good film and it got lots of awards, but why?

I liked some of the films that some PPs didn't - Pulp Fiction, Star Trek (2009) etc., but I agree with Diane about The Dark Knight. I went to see that film expecting a really good performance from Heath Ledger, but honestly I felt he fluffed it, which was quite sad.

And I saw Les Mis in the theatre on my 18th birthday and loved it with a passion. Saw it a few weeks ago, aged 39, with DH and it left me completely cold. Either it didn't translate well into film or (more likely) I am now too jaded and cynical to enjoy it.  ;D


Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Library Dragon on March 25, 2013, 10:28:35 PM
I blocked out The Iron Lady. I borrowed it from the library and was embarrassed that I wasted library money on buying it.  I think Wrath of the Titans was a better purchase.  It's a more honest movie--No one will mistake it for historically accurate.  Love her or hate her, but Thatcher is an interesting person.  Instead we got a film about dementia.  A boring film about dementia. 

Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Palladium on March 25, 2013, 10:39:06 PM
I agree with so many of the movies already mentioned, but the one that annoyed me the most hasn't yet.

Alexander. I can only assume that Colin Farrell only agreed to do it to get jobs for all his mates, because all the Greeks had Irish accents. Val Kilmer was awful as Philip, and Angelina Jolie was just plain creepy as Alexander's mother, doing some strange accent I couldn't identify. The whole thing was completely disjointed, confusing and way too long. I still can't believe I stayed until the end.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: KenveeB on March 25, 2013, 10:44:05 PM
Some friends and I were having an evening of classic horror movies, and we chose something called The Last Woman on Earth. It had a quasi-interesting premise of a disaster befalling Earth and three people being the only ones to survive. Great, I love post-apocalyptic stuff. Not this. We waited the entire movie for it to start. We kept thinking "now... no, now... okay, now," but nothing ever happened! The only part of the whole movie we enjoyed was when the two male characters were arguing over the woman while out fishing and honestly started slapping each other with fish. We all cracked up and were cheering them on.

I think the worst movie I ever saw in a theater was Tailor of Panama. I thought Pierce Brosnan could save anything, but dear lord, this was a miserable piece of drek.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: pinkyblue on March 25, 2013, 11:44:51 PM
I guess I won't confess due to its popularity, to the last movie I deserted in its last half hour,  :)  But the one before that that I walked out on was "The River" with Mel Gibson and Sissy Spacek. Holy cow, that was bad (beginning but also ending, unforgivably, with a bunch of cliches)! 
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Lynnv on March 26, 2013, 12:23:22 AM
  I am sure I have mentioned these before in similar threads, but they remain my top picks for the "I want my 2 hours back" class of movies.

The Core
A film with everything.  Laughable science.   Unlikeable wooden characters with all the charm of wallpaper paste.   A plot that a ninth grader would have written for a school project and gotten a D on.   And awful acting.   DH puts this at the top of his list. 

Dune
The movie was worse, but I didn't like the miniseries either.  One was a terrible adaptation of one of my favorite books.   The other was merely bad. 

Starship Troopers
Take one of the classic sci-if novels of all time, written by one of the grand masters of the genre.  Use the character names and make a movie that would otherwise be unrecognizable as being made from that book.   To be fair, I would not find it nearly as unbearable if they had not claimed it was from the classic novel by Heinlein.   

Nightfall
Take arguably the finest sci-fi short story ever.  Stir in an half-baked romance.   And then make a movie so bad that it might actually warp the fabric of space time.   

Seriously, is there some rule that no book from Heinlein or Asimov can ever be made into a decent movie?  And that most sci-fi classics will be ruined if they are filmed?   Sheesh. 
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Nora on March 26, 2013, 02:54:27 AM
I know it's been mentioned, but Iron Sky. Come on, a movie about Space nazis from the moon who turn a black guy white with their "technology" and land on earth to get the new Reich going from the great old US of A? And Bob, the one who so desperately HAD to see this movie, and who swore to me it would be hilarious, fell asleep after 10 minutes. There I sat, getting more and more insulted on all sides (I'm mixed race, and my caucasian half was just as horrified as my Ethiopian half...), with Bob snoring blissfully beside me.  ::)
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: zyrs on March 26, 2013, 04:06:16 AM
Skullduggery (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0079915/)  Skullduggery theme song (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V_-GfA_Qv-0)

The Giant Spider Invasion (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0073043/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1)

The Creeping Terror (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0057970/?ref_=tt_rec_tt)

Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: cabbageweevil on March 26, 2013, 06:07:39 AM
Also, although some will consider it heresy, I detest 'Casablanca'.  The movie looks like the script was being written as it was shot.  I later learned that was exactly what happened.
Here's at least one other person on earth, who's on board with you re this one. With me -- I was badly put off by associating with a former friend, who was a film buff of the most snobby, pretentious kind. Humphrey Bogart was this fellow's deity: he was forever doing irritating impressions of the stuff the guy said, particularly from 'Casablanca', which was the Bogart film he lauded to the skies above all others. These goings-on caused me to swear never, ever to watch 'Casablanca'. That was decades ago, and I still haven't.

Worst film which I have actually seen: 'Attack On The Iron Coast', made 1967. A World War 2 story (raid from Britain into occupied France) -- chock-full of all the most stilted, cliche-ish World-War-2-film cliches. So much so, that I suspect it was made as a parody of the genre, though not marketed as such. I saw it by chance, not long after it was released (it was the B feature, to the film which we actually wanted to see). So cornily bad, that it was hilarious.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Geekychick1984 on March 26, 2013, 06:12:20 AM
My husband has Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter at home waiting for us to watch together. I am dreading it...I'd like to say I hope it'll have some redeeming value to it, but...hmmm....I suspect it will belong on this list as well.

DH and I watched this NYE this year On Demand.  I found it to be in the "it's so bad it's funny" genre.

Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Verloona Ti on March 26, 2013, 07:10:21 AM
House of 1000 Corpses. Rob Zombie not only owes me the price of admission, but 2 hours of my life as well. It seems sad to me that he doesn't get that you have to want to root for someone in a horror movie. If you just hate everyone, you have no investment in the plot.

Anyway, that movie is why we created the "Rob Zombie rule". We sat through that whole movie because it had to get better. It didn't. So, now, after 15 minutes or less, if a movie is dreadful, we acknowledge that it probably isn't going to get better and cut our losses.

Rob Zombie is convinced that the Firefly Clan in House are the heroes, and that everyone is rooting for Captain Spaulding. Seriously. Many people have the same complaint about that film as you do, the netflix and Amazon reviews were scathing , but did he take a hint? No  : Not too long ago, Zombie gave an interview to the makers of a documentary  on horrorfilms, and he was still spouting drivel about how his "anti heroes" expressed  some rebelliousness against authority center to the American soul( or something equally stupid).

Moulon Rouge . I know many love that film, but it and Lost in Translation were two films neither I nor DH could stand. LiT was my idea, and I wound up apologizing to him because of it!
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Morrigan on March 26, 2013, 07:33:37 AM
I confess..don't hate me! Neither my husband or I liked "Les Miz". Huge, over-dramatic waste of time! And I'm a singer! Didn't like the sung dialog, emotional messes of main songs, or Anne Hathaway coming back for Hugh Jackman at the end. Very cheesy! But I did like Helene and Sasha in their parts! And Jackman's "Send Him Home."

Well, that part happened in the stage musical.  Both her (Fantine) and Eponine came back for Jean.  "Come with me, where chains will never bind you.  All your grief, at last, at last behind you.  Lord in Heaven, look down on him in mercy..."

And Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter...yeah, that's the worst movie I've ever seen.  The horse scene was completely ridiculous (even more than the rest of the movie.)
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Slartibartfast on March 26, 2013, 08:30:40 AM
Oh, two more in the "so bad it's good" category, so they're actually recommendations:

Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0311361/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1) - Canadian kung-fu musical set in the 80's for some reason even though it was made in 2001

and

B*tch Slap (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1212974/?ref_=sr_1) - not just for the plot, but because it's got half the cast from Xena and Hercules in it.  Also the entire plot seems to be written around getting the Charlie's-Angels-like main characters wet and showing their boobs jiggling in slow motion.  This movie was made much better by watching it at a "girls night" with two lesbian friends, so we could all laugh at how awful it was and then turn around and joke that at least the boob shots weren't wasted on SOMEone  :P
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Venus193 on March 26, 2013, 08:40:43 AM
Let's add Tim Burton's insult to Dark Shadows.  While the first 20 minutes were good the rest of the film was astonishingly bad. 
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: siamesecat2965 on March 26, 2013, 08:51:41 AM
I blocked out The Iron Lady. I borrowed it from the library and was embarrassed that I wasted library money on buying it.  I think Wrath of the Titans was a better purchase.  It's a more honest movie--No one will mistake it for historically accurate.  Love her or hate her, but Thatcher is an interesting person.  Instead we got a film about dementia.  A boring film about dementia.

YES! I was excited to see it since she won an Oscar, and while her performance was good, the movie stunk. Thankfully i had a free PPV movie which i used this one. but i was no impressed.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: SCAJAfamily on March 26, 2013, 09:22:40 AM
Quote
Nightfall
Take arguably the finest sci-fi short story ever.  Stir in an half-baked romance.   And then make a movie so bad that it might actually warp the fabric of space time.   

When was a movie of Nightfall made?  Who was in it?  I see nothing on imdb.  I have the full length book, which is one of my favorites.

I nominate as worst movie the 1992 version of Dracula with Gary Oldman.  Two people got up and walked out.  For some reason, I stayed until the end. 

Melancholia is bloody awful too.  My dh and I just sat on our couch for five minutes afterwards thinking, that's it?!?!?
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: athersgeo on March 26, 2013, 09:26:30 AM
Interesting to see I'm not the only person with an aversion to Nicholas Cage!

I have another contribution:

Worst film voluntarily watched at the cinema: Alex Rider: Stormbreaker

Oh. My. Sainted. Aunt.

This one does drop into the "so bad it's good" category, really, but I did actually pay money to see it at the cinema, so...

Where to start.
1) It stars Ewan McGregor. (spoiler: he dies before the opening credits in a scene that completely snapped my suspension of disbelief)
2) It also stars Damian Lewis (spoiler: he's playing a Russian, but you wouldn't know that by the accent that he can't actually keep up)
3) It also, ALSO stars Bill Nye (spoiler: what a waste of an actor!)
4) It also, ALSO, ***ALSO*** stars Mickey Rourke (spoiler: Mickey Rourke in eye shadow *shudders*)
5) The climax (set in centralish London) features a horse vs car chase (spoiler: I wish I was making this up)
6) The highlight of the whole performance was Robbie Coltrane, playing the Prime Minister, who was clearly doing his very best Tony Blair impersonation, even down to "Education, education and education"*. (The ten year old sitting beside me had no clue why I was giggling through that part.)
7) Then there was the bad guy's henchwoman who was played by Missy Pyle and who was some sort of pseudo-East-German dominatrix. (Or, if you're aware of 'Allo, 'Allo, think the character of Helga but essentially played straight rather than played for laughs.)

About the only upside to this movie experience (apart from the entirely unintended giggles) is that I watched in the cinema during one of the hottest/most humid weeks of Bristol's summer and so I got the benefit of the cinema's air-con for two hours!


*Not to get into politics, but that was a fairly famous soundbite from Tony Blair during a speech at the 1996 Labour Party Conference (yes, I did have to look up the date!)
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: violinp on March 26, 2013, 09:33:25 AM
Quote
Nightfall
Take arguably the finest sci-fi short story ever.  Stir in an half-baked romance.   And then make a movie so bad that it might actually warp the fabric of space time.   

When was a movie of Nightfall made?  Who was in it?  I see nothing on imdb.  I have the full length book, which is one of my favorites.

I nominate as worst movie the 1992 version of Dracula with Gary Oldman.  Two people got up and walked out.  For some reason, I stayed until the end. 

Melancholia is bloody awful too.  My dh and I just sat on our couch for five minutes afterwards thinking, that's it?!?!?

Augh, I hate, hate, hate that version! Lucy is not promiscuous (that's kinda the *whole point* of her character), and Mina never had a thing for Dracula. Ever. I don't want to know why Coppola thought that was a good idea. So, no, Coppola, it's not "Bram Stoker's" Dracula; it's "Francis Ford Coppola's" Dracula. And Keanu Reeves just makes that movie so much worse with his horrible attempt at an English accent. And, to add insult to injury, Coppola made Godfather III to fund Dracula. So, not only do we have a horrible adaptation of one of the most famous Gothic/horror stories of all time, we have an abomination of a movie that took its cues in emotion from bad soap operas as a double reminder of how much Coppola sucked in the 90's.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Twik on March 26, 2013, 09:56:00 AM
Augh, I hate, hate, hate that version! Lucy is not promiscuous (that's kinda the *whole point* of her character), and Mina never had a thing for Dracula. Ever. I don't want to know why Coppola thought that was a good idea. So, no, Coppola, it's not "Bram Stoker's" Dracula; it's "Francis Ford Coppola's" Dracula.

That's what gets me. Dracula is actually a pretty interesting book all on its own, without additional sexing up. If you're going to claim you're producing "Bram Stoker's Dracula", and turn it into Mina+Vlad Tepes shipping, you completely abandoned Stoker's opinion on the matter, which was that Dracula was not a nice person.

(I recall one commentator on a modern trend in horror complaining, "You lose the power of the metaphor of the vampire's bite = sex, when the vampire and the victim are actually SHOWN having sex".)
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Thipu1 on March 26, 2013, 10:03:38 AM
'It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World'.  It's supposed to be funny but every character in it is repellant.  You can't  like any of them. The whole movie is about greed.   That isn't humorous.   

'A Fish Named Wanda'.  This is supposed to be an hilarious comedy but the treatment  of the stuttering character is so brutal that I couldn't watch the thing.

Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: stargazer on March 26, 2013, 10:10:07 AM
6 Days 7 Nights - I don't know WHO thought Harrison Ford and Anne Heche would have any chemistry but trust me - they don't.  And I hate to hate on any Harrison Ford movie, but it is just one big cliche after another.  I mean you could practically see the director ticking each one off as they go.  Really really bad.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: *new*mommyagain36 on March 26, 2013, 10:19:08 AM
This was from 1991 I think.  Do you remember Other People's Money - starring Danny DeVito.
No, of course not, no one does.  I went with my BF at the time and another couple.  I remember the movie starting and being so unamused that I walked out.  BF and other couple wandered out about 10 minutes later.  I couldn't even begin to list what was wrong with it.  I can't remember any of the plot, I just recall feeling so bored and irritated that I walked out.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: cabbageweevil on March 26, 2013, 10:29:07 AM
The English Patient. I didn't get through much of it before I turned it off, but I was really hoping he would hurry up & die so the torture would be over.
I've heard a joker give it the alternative title of "The Patient English"; implying that no other nationality could endure sitting through it.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Redneck Gravy on March 26, 2013, 10:33:17 AM
I am a Tom Cruise fan, but he has made some stinkers too - Vanilla Sky, War of the Worlds and Minority Report, Eyes Wide Shut  ugh   :o    The Mission Impossible series are tolerable but I absolutely love him in Knight and Day.

I am not a huge Stephen King fan either but The Shining was awful - both versions.  (loved Firestarter)

I left the theatre while watching The Fog (1980), that was just a horrible movie. 

Another loser - Videodrome turned the tv off and ripped out the tape

 
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: athersgeo on March 26, 2013, 11:13:20 AM
This was from 1991 I think.  Do you remember Other People's Money - starring Danny DeVito.
No, of course not, no one does.  I went with my BF at the time and another couple.  I remember the movie starting and being so unamused that I walked out.  BF and other couple wandered out about 10 minutes later.  I couldn't even begin to list what was wrong with it.  I can't remember any of the plot, I just recall feeling so bored and irritated that I walked out.

*waves a hand* I actually DO remember it. Not because I watched it, but because I saw the trailer (repeatedly) for it when Sky Movies got it as a premiere probably about six months later. And no, the trailer didn't make me want to see it!

Another "bad" movie for you: Netherworld

It's listed as a horror movie, but it's about as horrifying as a bowl of cornflakes. It stars the guy-who-isn't-johnny-depp-but-looks-like-him and that kinda sums the whole thing up. Weird little movie. I should also note that the only reason I watched it is for the soundtrack, which was written by a musician I'm rather partial to. To my complete amusement, he subsequently popped up IN the film playing...a pianist in a bar band. Talk about type-casting!
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: zara1269 on March 26, 2013, 11:19:39 AM
I have a few to contribute:

Titanic: Horrible movie. I'm glad others agree

Magic Mike: these guys are supposed to be attractive? Other than that Joe Manginello (I spelled that wrong) the others were mediocre looking beefheads at best. I certainly wouldn't pay $$ to have them "dance" for me. Matthew McConnaughey is soooooo oily and sweaty in that movie I could almost smell the BO through the screen. And the plot...sooo stupid.

The Matrix: Watched it for about 15 minutes and could not proceed further.

Star Wars: My bf when we first were dating insisted I watch it since I had never seen it. I lasted maybe an hour only half paying attention to it b/c it was soooo cheesy and boring that he gave up and ended my misery.

I admit, and I'm in the minority here, but I love Rob Zombie's movies. I am contemplating getting a life sized animatronic Capt. Spaulding for my house.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: blueyzca01 on March 26, 2013, 11:37:34 AM
Magic Mike: these guys are supposed to be attractive? Other than that Joe Manginello (I spelled that wrong) the others were mediocre looking beefheads at best. I certainly wouldn't pay $$ to have them "dance" for me. Matthew McConnaughey is soooooo oily and sweaty in that movie I could almost smell the BO through the screen. And the plot...sooo stupid.

Thank goodness someone else agrees with me.  Before leaving the house to join a friend to see this, I told DH to be n*ked and ready when I got home.  Matt Bomer and Joe Manganiello are two of the finest specimens of manhood I have ever seen, and I was soooooo looking forward to this movie.  I talked about it for weeks.

Matthew McConaughey was oily, the script sucked, Alex Pettyfer couldn't act his way out of a paper bag, and the dancing time was maybe 15 minutes total.  I was sad.

Need less to say, DH took one look at my face when I walked in the door and said, "It's okay honey, I'm really not in the mood right now anyway."   I do love that man.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Whimsyone on March 26, 2013, 11:50:51 AM
Oh! I remembered another one! "The Crawling Eye". This is one of those awful 50's-60's sci-fi movies that aren't worth the film they are printed on! The Eyes (aliens?) live on a mountaintop and slide down to sneak up on the unsuspecting townfolk. Their attacks are basically waving their tentacles and shrieking. They are heralded by fog creeping over the hills and eerie music. It was SO bad.

When my hubby and I are driving and see fog on the peaks we shout "The Crawling Eye"!
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Firecat on March 26, 2013, 12:48:36 PM
This was from 1991 I think.  Do you remember Other People's Money - starring Danny DeVito.
No, of course not, no one does.  I went with my BF at the time and another couple.  I remember the movie starting and being so unamused that I walked out.  BF and other couple wandered out about 10 minutes later.  I couldn't even begin to list what was wrong with it.  I can't remember any of the plot, I just recall feeling so bored and irritated that I walked out.

I remember it. I also remember laughing my head off at the "Easy come, easy go" line. But that was about the only thing I found funny, as I recall.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Firecat on March 26, 2013, 12:51:52 PM
I don't think I've seen my personal most hated movie on here yet: "Batman and Robin" (the one with George Clooney). Campy is one thing, but this was just stupid. And Uma Thurmin was a dreadful Poison Ivy.

I'm told they originally wanted Patrick Stewart to play Mr. Freeze in that piece of drek, but Stewart refused to work with the director, and so refused to do the movie. Which only goes to support my opinion of Stewart's class, intelligence, and good taste.

Frankly, I think the director needs to be flogged just for a criminal waste of George Clooney. And then have something worse...not sure what yet...done to him for what he did to the character of Batman. I'm told that George Clooney will personally refund the money of anyone who admits having seen the movie to him.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Lynnv on March 26, 2013, 01:07:58 PM
Quote
Nightfall
Take arguably the finest sci-fi short story ever.  Stir in an half-baked romance.   And then make a movie so bad that it might actually warp the fabric of space time.   

When was a movie of Nightfall made?  Who was in it?  I see nothing on imdb.  I have the full length book, which is one of my favorites.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0249840/ (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0249840/)

and

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0095738/?ref_=fn_al_tt_4 (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0095738/?ref_=fn_al_tt_4)

The one I was specifically calling out was the 1st (with David Carradine).  No amount of alcohol (or even hard drugs) can make this piece of dreck bearable.  But, for the record, the other one is only better by a miniscule amount.  Putting both of them in the same room would probably not only warp the fabric of space-time, but would actually create a hole into another dimension with the sheer weight of the horribleness. 

On the bright side, we could then toss all of the copies of these two movies AND Starship Troopers into the resultant rift, making them the problem of some other reality.  That might start an interdimensional war, though.  I would consider foisting any of those movies on me to be an act of aggression.   ;D
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Library Dragon on March 26, 2013, 01:17:07 PM
I don't think I've seen my personal most hated movie on here yet: "Batman and Robin" (the one with George Clooney). Campy is one thing, but this was just stupid. And Uma Thurmin was a dreadful Poison Ivy.

I'm told they originally wanted Patrick Stewart to play Mr. Freeze in that piece of drek, but Stewart refused to work with the director, and so refused to do the movie. Which only goes to support my opinion of Stewart's class, intelligence, and good taste.

Frankly, I think the director needs to be flogged just for a criminal waste of George Clooney. And then have something worse...not sure what yet...done to him for what he did to the character of Batman. I'm told that George Clooney will personally refund the money of anyone who admits having seen the movie to him.

I did not know this.  My lurve for Patrick Stewart just increased.  I didn't think that was possible, but it did.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Firecat on March 26, 2013, 01:29:20 PM
Quote
Nightfall
Take arguably the finest sci-fi short story ever.  Stir in an half-baked romance.   And then make a movie so bad that it might actually warp the fabric of space time.   

When was a movie of Nightfall made?  Who was in it?  I see nothing on imdb.  I have the full length book, which is one of my favorites.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0249840/ (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0249840/)

and

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0095738/?ref_=fn_al_tt_4 (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0095738/?ref_=fn_al_tt_4)

The one I was specifically calling out was the 1st (with David Carradine).  No amount of alcohol (or even hard drugs) can make this piece of dreck bearable.  But, for the record, the other one is only better by a miniscule amount.  Putting both of them in the same room would probably not only warp the fabric of space-time, but would actually create a hole into another dimension with the sheer weight of the horribleness. 

On the bright side, we could then toss all of the copies of these two movies AND Starship Troopers into the resultant rift, making them the problem of some other reality.  That might start an interdimensional war, though.  I would consider foisting any of those movies on me to be an act of aggression.   ;D

Can we add Barbarella, too?
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Diane AKA Traska on March 26, 2013, 01:30:47 PM
This was from 1991 I think.  Do you remember Other People's Money - starring Danny DeVito.
No, of course not, no one does.  I went with my BF at the time and another couple.  I remember the movie starting and being so unamused that I walked out.  BF and other couple wandered out about 10 minutes later.  I couldn't even begin to list what was wrong with it.  I can't remember any of the plot, I just recall feeling so bored and irritated that I walked out.

I remember it, because I love that movie.  Danny DeVito is deliciously slimy (his best kind of character), and the story plays out beautifully.  It's not for everyone, admittedly.

I don't think I've seen my personal most hated movie on here yet: "Batman and Robin" (the one with George Clooney). Campy is one thing, but this was just stupid. And Uma Thurmin was a dreadful Poison Ivy.

I'm told they originally wanted Patrick Stewart to play Mr. Freeze in that piece of drek, but Stewart refused to work with the director, and so refused to do the movie. Which only goes to support my opinion of Stewart's class, intelligence, and good taste.

Frankly, I think the director needs to be flogged just for a criminal waste of George Clooney. And then have something worse...not sure what yet...done to him for what he did to the character of Batman. I'm told that George Clooney will personally refund the money of anyone who admits having seen the movie to him.

Technical foul!  This is for movies that you find bad, not for movies that are demonstrably bad in a completely objective sense.  You can't choose a movie that no one will disagree with, it just isn't fair.  :P
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Firecat on March 26, 2013, 01:31:19 PM
I don't think I've seen my personal most hated movie on here yet: "Batman and Robin" (the one with George Clooney). Campy is one thing, but this was just stupid. And Uma Thurmin was a dreadful Poison Ivy.

I'm told they originally wanted Patrick Stewart to play Mr. Freeze in that piece of drek, but Stewart refused to work with the director, and so refused to do the movie. Which only goes to support my opinion of Stewart's class, intelligence, and good taste.

Frankly, I think the director needs to be flogged just for a criminal waste of George Clooney. And then have something worse...not sure what yet...done to him for what he did to the character of Batman. I'm told that George Clooney will personally refund the money of anyone who admits having seen the movie to him.

I did not know this.  My lurve for Patrick Stewart just increased.  I didn't think that was possible, but it did.

<off topic> Have you heard that Patrick Stewart is getting married soon? And Ian McKellan is going to perform the ceremony.  And yes, Patrick Stewart is an incredibly awesome individual  ;D. </off topic>
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: lilfox on March 26, 2013, 01:32:06 PM
Okay, worst movies that I paid cash money to see in the theater:

Caddyshack 2 - loved Caddyshack, what could go wrong?
Ghostbusters 2 - loved Ghostbusters, what could go wrong?
Leonard Part 6 - loved Bill Cosby, what... well, you know.

Howard the Duck was mentioned earlier - who the heck was the intended audience for that?  I was 10 when I saw it and I thought it was ridiculous then.

And another vote for Batman & Robin, it just kept getting worse but it somehow never reached so-bad-it's-hilarious, it was embarrassing and painful to the end.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Firecat on March 26, 2013, 01:32:58 PM
This was from 1991 I think.  Do you remember Other People's Money - starring Danny DeVito.
No, of course not, no one does.  I went with my BF at the time and another couple.  I remember the movie starting and being so unamused that I walked out.  BF and other couple wandered out about 10 minutes later.  I couldn't even begin to list what was wrong with it.  I can't remember any of the plot, I just recall feeling so bored and irritated that I walked out.

I remember it, because I love that movie.  Danny DeVito is deliciously slimy (his best kind of character), and the story plays out beautifully.  It's not for everyone, admittedly.

I don't think I've seen my personal most hated movie on here yet: "Batman and Robin" (the one with George Clooney). Campy is one thing, but this was just stupid. And Uma Thurmin was a dreadful Poison Ivy.

I'm told they originally wanted Patrick Stewart to play Mr. Freeze in that piece of drek, but Stewart refused to work with the director, and so refused to do the movie. Which only goes to support my opinion of Stewart's class, intelligence, and good taste.

Frankly, I think the director needs to be flogged just for a criminal waste of George Clooney. And then have something worse...not sure what yet...done to him for what he did to the character of Batman. I'm told that George Clooney will personally refund the money of anyone who admits having seen the movie to him.

Technical foul!  This is for movies that you find bad, not for movies that are demonstrably bad in a completely objective sense.  You can't choose a movie that no one will disagree with, it just isn't fair.  :P

Who ever said I played fair?  >:D (Besides, someone already mentioned the Dungeons and Dragons movie...) LOL!
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Lynnv on March 26, 2013, 01:36:28 PM
Quote
Nightfall
Take arguably the finest sci-fi short story ever.  Stir in an half-baked romance.   And then make a movie so bad that it might actually warp the fabric of space time.   

When was a movie of Nightfall made?  Who was in it?  I see nothing on imdb.  I have the full length book, which is one of my favorites.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0249840/ (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0249840/)

and

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0095738/?ref_=fn_al_tt_4 (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0095738/?ref_=fn_al_tt_4)

The one I was specifically calling out was the 1st (with David Carradine).  No amount of alcohol (or even hard drugs) can make this piece of dreck bearable.  But, for the record, the other one is only better by a miniscule amount.  Putting both of them in the same room would probably not only warp the fabric of space-time, but would actually create a hole into another dimension with the sheer weight of the horribleness. 

On the bright side, we could then toss all of the copies of these two movies AND Starship Troopers into the resultant rift, making them the problem of some other reality.  That might start an interdimensional war, though.  I would consider foisting any of those movies on me to be an act of aggression.   ;D

Can we add Barbarella, too?

As long as you don't mind increasing our chances of starting that interdimensional war, I am good with it.   8)
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Firecat on March 26, 2013, 01:45:05 PM
Quote
Nightfall
Take arguably the finest sci-fi short story ever.  Stir in an half-baked romance.   And then make a movie so bad that it might actually warp the fabric of space time.   

When was a movie of Nightfall made?  Who was in it?  I see nothing on imdb.  I have the full length book, which is one of my favorites.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0249840/ (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0249840/)

and

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0095738/?ref_=fn_al_tt_4 (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0095738/?ref_=fn_al_tt_4)

The one I was specifically calling out was the 1st (with David Carradine).  No amount of alcohol (or even hard drugs) can make this piece of dreck bearable.  But, for the record, the other one is only better by a miniscule amount.  Putting both of them in the same room would probably not only warp the fabric of space-time, but would actually create a hole into another dimension with the sheer weight of the horribleness. 

On the bright side, we could then toss all of the copies of these two movies AND Starship Troopers into the resultant rift, making them the problem of some other reality.  That might start an interdimensional war, though.  I would consider foisting any of those movies on me to be an act of aggression.   ;D

Can we add Barbarella, too?

As long as you don't mind increasing our chances of starting that interdimensional war, I am good with it.   8)

Well, I figure if we're going to start it, it might as well be really worth it...  >:D
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: BeagleMommy on March 26, 2013, 01:48:13 PM
The Great White Hype - it was so awful DH and I walked out after 10 minutes.  We had meant to go to a different film, but it was out by the time we got up enough gumption to go to the theater.  This dreck was the only thing playing.

What Dreams May Come - I'm normally a huge Robin Williams fan but this film was so saccharine and syrupy that I felt I needed a dental visit afterward.

A Chorus Line - saw the play and loved it.  I had high expectations but when they threw in an additional storyline and eliminated some of my favorite songs I was highly insulted.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Shabooty on March 26, 2013, 02:03:53 PM
Sherman's March, anyone?
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Twik on March 26, 2013, 02:19:21 PM
The only movie I ever walked out of was King Solomon's Mines.

No, not the classic Stewart Granger one (you know, the one where they went to Africa and filmed on location? The one with some of the most riveting dance sequences ever recorded?) I mean the one with Richard Chamberlain and Sharon Stone, that appears to have been filmed using a highschool gymnasium as a soundstage, and a "recreated from the memory of a 13 year old fanboy" copy of the script from Raiders of the Lost Ark, with the name of Spielberg's characters whited out and Chamberlain and Stone edited in.

It is a truly ghastly movie. I think we left when Chamberlain brushed a rubber snake off Stone's neck, and said, with a perfectly straight face, "it's a jungle out here".

The odd thing was, Chamberlain had just come out of "The Thorn Birds" as a big star, and I think this film killed any chance of that continuing.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: magiccat26 on March 26, 2013, 03:01:08 PM
DH and I love stupid comedies/spoofs.  (Think Airplane, Blazing Saddles, etc).  So we went to see what we thought was a funny Kung-fu movie spoof called:  Kung Pow, Enter the Fist. 

Worse.Movie.Ever.

I never laughed, never smiled, nothing, nadda, nyt.  It was awful.  I cannot believe we spent money to see it.  We sat through the whole thing hoping it would get better.  No such luck.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Ginger G on March 26, 2013, 03:03:57 PM
Quote
'It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World'.]

I had to laugh when someone mentioned this movie.  I can't stand it and my significant other LOVES it, it's one of his favorite movies of all time!  Usually, I'm the type that if I know someone loves something that I hate, I will keep my opinion to myself to avoid offending the other person.  One day, he decided to criticize a TV show I like.  I got offended and went off on a 5 minute rant about everything I hate about Mad Mad World.  It was a long time before he criticized any of my favorites again!
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on March 26, 2013, 03:40:25 PM
Austin Powers: Goldmember.   Full of disgusting humor that had me gagging several times.  Dh and the older 2 like it though so when they watch it I tend to find another room to hole away in.

Saving Private Ryan.  My dislike of the movie isn't so much because of the movie itself, as every time I tried to watch it I'd fall asleep as they were storming the beach in the beginning.  The dislike is because of the outrage my friends at the time expressed at my falling asleep.  "How could you fall asleep?  It's unpatriotic, and your boyfriend in the Marines!!!"  ::)  I wish I could say they were joking. 

Donkey. Watched this with a friend years ago and hated it.


Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Diane AKA Traska on March 26, 2013, 04:01:51 PM
Austin Powers: Goldmember.   Full of disgusting humor that had me gagging several times.  Dh and the older 2 like it though so when they watch it I tend to find another room to hole away in.

Saving Private Ryan.  My dislike of the movie isn't so much because of the movie itself, as every time I tried to watch it I'd fall asleep as they were storming the beach in the beginning.  The dislike is because of the outrage my friends at the time expressed at my falling asleep.  "How could you fall asleep?  It's unpatriotic, and your boyfriend in the Marines!!!"  ::)  I wish I could say they were joking. 

Donkey. Watched this with a friend years ago and hated it.

Goldmember is horrid, and this from someone that liked the other two.

I lie Saving Private Ryan, but I will say it took me til the third try to get past the beach.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on March 26, 2013, 04:07:24 PM
Austin Powers: Goldmember.   Full of disgusting humor that had me gagging several times.  Dh and the older 2 like it though so when they watch it I tend to find another room to hole away in.

Saving Private Ryan.  My dislike of the movie isn't so much because of the movie itself, as every time I tried to watch it I'd fall asleep as they were storming the beach in the beginning.  The dislike is because of the outrage my friends at the time expressed at my falling asleep.  "How could you fall asleep?  It's unpatriotic, and your boyfriend in the Marines!!!"  ::)  I wish I could say they were joking. 

Donkey. Watched this with a friend years ago and hated it.

Goldmember is horrid, and this from someone that liked the other two.

I lie Saving Private Ryan, but I will say it took me til the third try to get past the beach.

And I realize now the filter changed the name of my last movie.  It's Jack a**
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Snooks on March 26, 2013, 04:11:13 PM
And if you accept the idea of being able to judge a movie after only 5 minutes:  Dude, Where's My Car?  My friend was dating "Hot Alien Chick #5" and made me watch it so he could show her off.  Oh dear Lord above, that's 5 minutes I'm never getting back.

My friends made me see that, I never forgave them.  My friends as a teenager had awful taste in films.

There's another film that I saw which was dreadful but I can't remember what it was called.  I'll come back if I remember but I think I'm repressing the memory.

Casshern.  The whole experience was so awful no-one spoke when we left the theatre.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: MerryCat on March 26, 2013, 05:04:03 PM
No one's mentioned Sharktopus yet? I can't decide if it's so bad it's good or just so very, very bad. I wouldn't watch it again, but I couldn't stop watching it the first time.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Library Dragon on March 26, 2013, 05:24:35 PM
SNIP

Saving Private Ryan.  My dislike of the movie isn't so much because of the movie itself, as every time I tried to watch it I'd fall asleep as they were storming the beach in the beginning.  The dislike is because of the outrage my friends at the time expressed at my falling asleep.  "How could you fall asleep?  It's unpatriotic, and your boyfriend in the Marines!!!"  ::)  I wish I could say they were joking. 

SNIP

Ha!  :D  This reminds me of the Seinfeld episode "Raincoats."  From Wikipedia:

Jerry and Rachel go to see Schindler's List but cannot help making out since they have not been alone in such a long time. Newman, also in the cinema, spots them and is aghast. 

Chaos ensues. 
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Yarnspinner on March 26, 2013, 05:37:34 PM
John Cusack is one of my favorite actors.  Ditto John Malkovich.  That said, promise me that I never, ever have to see Being John Malkovich again.  Two hours of my life I will never get back.

Withnail and I is another flick that got raves for its flat out lunatic humor.  Well, it was flat out lunatic. 

Adaptation:  Nicholas Cage and....Nicholas Cage in what was supposed to be an adaptation of The Orchid Thief, but the film writer couldn't think of a way to adapt the original book so instead, wrote about himself (and his imaginary twin brother) trying to figure out a way to adapt it.  No.

Movie I eagerly awaited seeing because I had read a misguided review that praised it for it's 1970s charm and horror:  House of Seven Corpses.  Two hours of people talking about a curse they have invoked by accident (it's always by accident) but hardly any indication of there being a reason to worry until Pokey The Corpse shows up at the end.

Other movie I couldn't wait to see and purchased from Amazon on the strength of a couple of reviews on some obscure site:  Winter Lily.  Bad acting and brainless character decisionmaking do not a suspenseful film make.

Finally, for sheer awfulness:  The Emperor's New Clothes.  Bad songs, horrific acting from Sid Caesar and Red Buttons, not to mention a character who tries to play mentally challenged for laughs.  And then therre are those songs.....and the sound effects...and....yeah, this is the one that will be playing endlessly in Hades.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Yarnspinner on March 26, 2013, 05:44:14 PM
No one's mentioned Sharktopus yet? I can't decide if it's so bad it's good or just so very, very bad. I wouldn't watch it again, but I couldn't stop watching it the first time.

How can you not love a Shark that can not only swim, but crawl upon the land and chow down on generic native ethnics (WHERE was this movie supposed to take place anyway?) by hanging upside down from the trees?

Have to nominate the SyFy channel's brilliant offering from last month:  Heebie Jeebies.  The ghosts (and skeletons) of five asian miners somehow fuse themselves into one laughable creature that staggers around the countryside ripping to shreds anyone who has some of their cursed gold.  It had everything:  the strict Chinese grandma who reveals (conveniently) only at the end that she speaks and understands English PERFECTLY, the teens who are out at night looking for love in all the wrong places, criminals who just amble by so they can get killed, the crazed, gold obsessed mine owner, the monster fodder in the form of dozens of "famed" bounty hunters who go after the monster....the list is endless and hysterical.  It was a dreadful movie, but pure comedy gold.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Yarnspinner on March 26, 2013, 05:46:12 PM
Austin Powers: Goldmember.   Full of disgusting humor that had me gagging several times.  Dh and the older 2 like it though so when they watch it I tend to find another room to hole away in.

Saving Private Ryan.  My dislike of the movie isn't so much because of the movie itself, as every time I tried to watch it I'd fall asleep as they were storming the beach in the beginning.  The dislike is because of the outrage my friends at the time expressed at my falling asleep.  "How could you fall asleep?  It's unpatriotic, and your boyfriend in the Marines!!!"  ::)  I wish I could say they were joking. 

Donkey. Watched this with a friend years ago and hated it.

Goldmember is horrid, and this from someone that liked the other two.

I lie Saving Private Ryan, but I will say it took me til the third try to get past the beach.

And I realize now the filter changed the name of my last movie.  It's Jack a**

See, I was wondering how I missed a movie about "Donkey" from the Shrek flicks and couldn't imagine that it would be bad at all!
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: diesel_darlin on March 26, 2013, 06:04:01 PM
Ted.

Now I admit that I love crass humor and off color jokes. This movie was even too much for me. My friend's 19 year old told me that it was hilarious and that I should watch it. Since I have the maturity of a 19 year old boy sometimes, I gave it a whirl. Never again.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on March 26, 2013, 06:20:42 PM
Astronaut's Wife.   I absolutely adore Johnny Depp but I'm afraid he just couldn't save the movie.  The plot is rather similar to that of "The Devil's Advocate" in that you have a couple madly in love, the guy changes and becomes evil and the wife is made to think she's crazy.   Only in this case Johnny Depp's character is somehow possessed by an alien after he comes back from outer space. 

Also, Nick of Time.  Just kind of boring, really. 
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: LazyDaisy on March 26, 2013, 06:58:06 PM
Can't believe I made it through the whole thread and no one mentioned Waterworld or Robin Hood Prince of Thieves. Two of Kevin Costner's biggest stinkers.

In RH:PoT he can't maintain an English accent and gives up at some point and morphs into some kind of Brooklyn, NY accent, except that Costner is from California. The movie was trying to be dramatic and romantic but fails miserably on both fronts. It might have succeeded as a comedy; Alan Rickman as the Sheriff was hilarious -- but I'm not sure he was supposed to be.

Waterworld was just all kinds of stupid and Costner's character was so unlikable and his acting was so wooden he made Keanu Reeves look good by comparison.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: KenveeB on March 26, 2013, 08:01:14 PM
Accent issues aside, I always rather liked Prince of Thieves. Totally with you on Waterworld, though.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: andi on March 26, 2013, 08:22:03 PM
Oh! I remembered another one! "The Crawling Eye". This is one of those awful 50's-60's sci-fi movies that aren't worth the film they are printed on! The Eyes (aliens?) live on a mountaintop and slide down to sneak up on the unsuspecting townfolk. Their attacks are basically waving their tentacles and shrieking. They are heralded by fog creeping over the hills and eerie music. It was SO bad.

When my hubby and I are driving and see fog on the peaks we shout "The Crawling Eye"!

That is a MST3000 movie - awesomely bad!!

And  I think "Sharktapus" was supposed to be set somewhere in Mexico (love my bad SY-Fi movies!!)
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: rose red on March 26, 2013, 08:49:14 PM
The Scarlet Letter (Demi Moore version). 
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: nuit93 on March 26, 2013, 10:07:41 PM
Can't believe I made it through the whole thread and no one mentioned Waterworld or Robin Hood Prince of Thieves. Two of Kevin Costner's biggest stinkers.

In RH:PoT he can't maintain an English accent and gives up at some point and morphs into some kind of Brooklyn, NY accent, except that Costner is from California. The movie was trying to be dramatic and romantic but fails miserably on both fronts. It might have succeeded as a comedy; Alan Rickman as the Sheriff was hilarious -- but I'm not sure he was supposed to be.

If you haven't seen "Robin Hood: Men In Tights"...see it!  Mel Brooks rips on the Costner movie something fierce.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Gyburc on March 27, 2013, 07:17:04 AM
The English Patient. I didn't get through much of it before I turned it off, but I was really hoping he would hurry up & die so the torture would be over.
I've heard a joker give it the alternative title of "The Patient English"; implying that no other nationality could endure sitting through it.

Oh, I love this. DH and I also tried to watch this but gave up. Plus also, the heroine is married to Colin Firth and has an affair?? How is that in any way realistic??!  ;D

Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Twik on March 27, 2013, 07:51:09 AM
Pearl Harbor is a dreadful, dreadful movie. It's so transparently thinking "I will do everything Titanic did, but bigger and better! I will be the world's top grossing movie evah!"

Meanwhile, historical inaccuracies, and humongous plot holes abound. Why yes, in Michael Bay's world, someone so illiterate they cannot even recognize the "E" on an eye chart can become a navy pilot (meanwhile, I'm wondering how they can even use the compass). And then, a few scenes later, they write a heartfelt letter to their girl. Apparently, no one working on the production brought up that there was a small problem with juxtaposing those scenes.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on March 27, 2013, 07:58:34 AM
Pearl Harbor is a dreadful, dreadful movie. It's so transparently thinking "I will do everything Titanic did, but bigger and better! I will be the world's top grossing movie evah!"

Meanwhile, historical inaccuracies, and humongous plot holes abound. Why yes, in Michael Bay's world, someone so illiterate they cannot even recognize the "E" on an eye chart can become a navy pilot (meanwhile, I'm wondering how they can even use the compass). And then, a few scenes later, they write a heartfelt letter to their girl. Apparently, no one working on the production brought up that there was a small problem with juxtaposing those scenes.

I am one that does like Titanic, but I really didn't like Pearl Harbor.  It's been so long since I've seen it that I totally forgot about those bits you mentioned.  It just seemed like an impossibly long movie.  And well yeah, Michael Bay.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Twik on March 27, 2013, 08:19:37 AM
Actually, Pearl Harbor is a good movie for sharpening claws on. It's one thing to make a bad movie if you're Ed Wood, with a shoestring budget and only your own imagination to rely on. It's another to create a historically inaccurate, romantically mawkish, overblown monstrosity when you have almost infinite resources to draw upon. Michael Bay cannot complain, "well, it's not what I visuallized, but I didn't have the money/assistance/time to get it right."

It would be a good basis for a drinking game, though. At various points (starting in the first minute), you can say, "All right, what would be the most cliched outcome for this situation or character? Here, we have a young boy climbing into an old grounded biplane and pretending to pilot it - what will happen? Yes, there in the corner - he will accidentally start the motor, and show amazing piloting skills in landing it? YOU ARE A WINNER! Take a drink (but I'd advise a small one, it's a long movie....)"
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Last_Dance on March 27, 2013, 08:20:54 AM
Pearl Harbor is a dreadful, dreadful movie. It's so transparently thinking "I will do everything Titanic did, but bigger and better! I will be the world's top grossing movie evah!"

Meanwhile, historical inaccuracies, and humongous plot holes abound.

I watched it with my dad, who is an amateur historian specialized in WWII. Hilarity ensued.

That year we also saw Enemy at the Gates: my dad had a lot less to complain about it. 
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Twik on March 27, 2013, 08:39:07 AM
Pearl Harbor is a dreadful, dreadful movie. It's so transparently thinking "I will do everything Titanic did, but bigger and better! I will be the world's top grossing movie evah!"

Meanwhile, historical inaccuracies, and humongous plot holes abound.

I watched it with my dad, who is an amateur historian specialized in WWII. Hilarity ensued.

I was just astounded how someone could write a script for a WWII movie where a main character is participating in the Battle of Britain, yet never once mention "Hitler" or "Nazis".

If your character is going to make inspiring speeches about "fighting for our freedoms," it's not gauche to mention who is trying to take them.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Redneck Gravy on March 27, 2013, 08:55:53 AM
Magic Mike: these guys are supposed to be attractive? Other than that Joe Manginello (I spelled that wrong) the others were mediocre looking beefheads at best. I certainly wouldn't pay $$ to have them "dance" for me. Matthew McConnaughey is soooooo oily and sweaty in that movie I could almost smell the BO through the screen. And the plot...sooo stupid.

Aggh, the movie was horrible, I went to see it 3 times, the eye candy was good enough for me.  Was it supposed to have a PLOT?

It did however introduce me to Channing Tatum.   ;)

 

Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: KarenK on March 27, 2013, 09:45:26 AM
The only movie I ever walked out of was King Solomon's Mines.

No, not the classic Stewart Granger one (you know, the one where they went to Africa and filmed on location? The one with some of the most riveting dance sequences ever recorded?) I mean the one with Richard Chamberlain and Sharon Stone, that appears to have been filmed using a highschool gymnasium as a soundstage, and a "recreated from the memory of a 13 year old fanboy" copy of the script from Raiders of the Lost Ark, with the name of Spielberg's characters whited out and Chamberlain and Stone edited in.

It is a truly ghastly movie. I think we left when Chamberlain brushed a rubber snake off Stone's neck, and said, with a perfectly straight face, "it's a jungle out here".

The odd thing was, Chamberlain had just come out of "The Thorn Birds" as a big star, and I think this film killed any chance of that continuing.

This was one of the first movies we rented after we bought our first VCR, and is responsible for what's known in my house as "The Rule of Raiders of the Lost Ark." If a movie compares itself to Raiders, run away!

I know Pearl Harbor is an abomination, but for some reason, DH and I watch it every time it's on, which used to be a lot, when we had cable.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: snowflake on March 27, 2013, 10:57:49 AM
For some reason I am sort of forgiving to dumb action movies.  (Even if I don't like them.)  My loathing hatred is saved for those movies that are supposed to be "soooooo good."

1) Dead Poet's Society.  Um yeah.  Way to seize the day!

2) Reality Bites.  Stop whining.  No really. Stop. Stop. Stop.  I hope your life gets worse.

3) Amadeus.  OK, that wasn't a bad movie.  But I hate it when watching with other people how everyone snickers derisively at the "too many notes" line and feels smug because they aren't that stupid.  Um hello - that is the principle that Rock n' Roll is based on!  Do I see you jamming to baroque or changing the channel peevishly when you hear the sound of non-resonant instruments?

4) Good Will Hunting.  Once again, it wasn't terrible but I hate listening to everyone who thinks they are the misunderstood genius.  No, you aren't full of quiet surprises.  You are full of loud, dull thoughts.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: LazyDaisy on March 27, 2013, 11:01:36 AM
Can't believe I made it through the whole thread and no one mentioned Waterworld or Robin Hood Prince of Thieves. Two of Kevin Costner's biggest stinkers.

In RH:PoT he can't maintain an English accent and gives up at some point and morphs into some kind of Brooklyn, NY accent, except that Costner is from California. The movie was trying to be dramatic and romantic but fails miserably on both fronts. It might have succeeded as a comedy; Alan Rickman as the Sheriff was hilarious -- but I'm not sure he was supposed to be.

If you haven't seen "Robin Hood: Men In Tights"...see it!  Mel Brooks rips on the Costner movie something fierce.
I loved Men in Tights! I like most of Mel Brooks movies although Space Balls got to be a little too dumb for my taste.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Diane AKA Traska on March 27, 2013, 11:22:42 AM
Can't believe I made it through the whole thread and no one mentioned Waterworld or Robin Hood Prince of Thieves. Two of Kevin Costner's biggest stinkers.

In RH:PoT he can't maintain an English accent and gives up at some point and morphs into some kind of Brooklyn, NY accent, except that Costner is from California. The movie was trying to be dramatic and romantic but fails miserably on both fronts. It might have succeeded as a comedy; Alan Rickman as the Sheriff was hilarious -- but I'm not sure he was supposed to be.

If you haven't seen "Robin Hood: Men In Tights"...see it!  Mel Brooks rips on the Costner movie something fierce.
I loved Men in Tights! I like most of Mel Brooks movies although Space Balls got to be a little too dumb for my taste.

Spaceballs is one of my absolute favorites.. although if I never see Dracula: Dead and Loving It again it'll be too soon.  The only saving grace in that film was the work of Steven Weber and Amy Yasbeck.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: jaxsue on March 27, 2013, 11:52:13 AM
http://www.encyclopedia-titanica.org/csi_titanic_who_died_how.html

An interesting site on how people died in the Titanic's sinking.

And, while looking at websites, I came upon sites where people were asking if the Titanic had really existed. Ugh.  :o
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: jaxsue on March 27, 2013, 11:53:19 AM
Accent issues aside, I always rather liked Prince of Thieves. Totally with you on Waterworld, though.

Waterworld was abysmal. My then-DH rented it, and when I left the room after awhile, got angry with me.  ::)
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: ScubaGirl on March 27, 2013, 03:14:57 PM
Maybe I'm alone because no one has mentioned this yet but the movie I loathe the most (and I hate a number of movies already mentioned but I'd watch any of them 10 times again before I'd ever consider watching this one again) is:  Inception.

I was so incredibly bored and there simply were no surprises/twists/interesting concepts to hold this movie for me.  Boiled down it was just a plotless action movie that they tried to freshen up with the fact that it was actually all fake (in their heads).   Consider this, when someone asks about a movie you have seen you try hard not to give away the special/surprising part of the plot.  There was no special/surprising part of the plot.  I discovered this when a friend asked me about Inception and I realized there was nothing to bother holding back on.  I don't know if any of that makes sense - not explaining myself well.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: rose red on March 27, 2013, 03:37:41 PM
I know Pearl Harbor is an abomination, but for some reason, DH and I watch it every time it's on, which used to be a lot, when we had cable.

HaHa.  Isn't it odd that some bad movies are like that?  Mine is Flowers in the Attic.  That thing is so poorly done and doesn't even follow the book much, and yet I can't stop watching every time it's on. 
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: LazyDaisy on March 27, 2013, 03:57:17 PM
That's how I am whenever one of those old 70s disaster movies comes up -- Andromeda Strain, Poseidon Adventure, Towering Inferno, that island volcano one -- When Time Ran Out. They're bad and formulaic but it's so hard to look away. I remember there was one with ants, and one with killer bees. I love/hate those.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: gingerzing on March 27, 2013, 04:07:29 PM
I have three that are at various degrees. 

Zardoz - I have tried twice to watch it.  Because -And Only Because - Sean Connery is in it and the cover shot is not the same as the cover on imdb.  But not even Sean as eyecandy can make me sit for this one.

Portrait of A Lady - Nicole Kidman, whom I have nothing against, was in this.  DH and I walked out after about 15-20 minutes.  I had forgotten that I hate Henry James books.

And the winner even though I didn't walk out <drumroll>  Angel Heart.  Ick.  Was on a date in college for this one.  The boy who took me didn't want to "waste the money" when I told him 10 minutes into the movie that I was creeped out and wanted to leave. 
The only thing that even remotely saved the date was after the movie was over - I was shaking like a leaf - we went back to his place and he suggested we watch another movie.  Pee-Wee's Playhouse.  (Which was just silly, not bad.  And a nice distraction)

Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Gwywnnydd on March 27, 2013, 04:32:08 PM
Thought of another one--Meet the Feebles.  So disturbing.  Its like Muppets on crack.  I actually own this movie  :-[ and my friend's reaction after watching it was "I feel dirty now.  I think I need a shower".

A group of us used to have an annual gathering, with cheesy B movies as the focus. The cheesier, the better.
We turned off this movie partway through, and the woman who chose it had her movie selection rights permanently revoked. We all felt a bit squicked out...
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: GratefulMaria on March 27, 2013, 05:30:52 PM
"The Room"

That is all.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Lunaria3 on March 27, 2013, 07:41:01 PM
In the so-bad-it's-good category, I nominate The 12 Disasters of Christmas. My family and I watched it on 12-12-2012 to celebrate the end of the world, and we DIED laughing at the ridiculousness. If you're looking for an easily-riffable movie to watch with your friends, you can't do much better!

One of the best parts for my family was that every single one of us in my 6 person family managed to make an off-the-wall plot prediction that came true :)
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Library Dragon on March 27, 2013, 08:08:23 PM
Pearl Harbor is a dreadful, dreadful movie. It's so transparently thinking "I will do everything Titanic did, but bigger and better! I will be the world's top grossing movie evah!"

Or as DS1 said, "Did you know that the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor to break up a romance   ???  :-*  ???"
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Outdoor Girl on March 27, 2013, 08:17:13 PM
Two Academy Award winners (or at least nominated):  Howard's End and Sling Blade.  Both horrible.

I can't think of the name but there was a period piece with Michelle Pfeiffer and Daniel Day Lewis.  First movie I didn't watch through to the end.

Black Rain.  It was some sort of thriller with Michael Douglas.  Or was it Kurt Russell?  I slept through the middle of it - in the theatre.

And the poster who mentioned Mullholland Drive?  I agree.  Still no idea what that was about.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: andi on March 27, 2013, 08:30:13 PM
Pearl Harbor is a dreadful, dreadful movie. It's so transparently thinking "I will do everything Titanic did, but bigger and better! I will be the world's top grossing movie evah!"

Or as DS1 said, "Did you know that the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor to break up a romance   ???  :-*  ???"

My uncle (the ex- Marine / conspiracy theorist) is convinced this version was funded by the Japanese as a way to make themselves look better.  My uncle is a bit off
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on March 27, 2013, 08:38:49 PM
Not the worst, but didn't really care for Hope Springs. 

I also didn't like Twilight.  Didn't see anything but the first movie so I can't say anything about the others.  It might have been better with a different director and better effects.  As it is, I laughed at most of it, especially when we first see Edward sparkle.  It was like they covered Robert Pattinson in glue and rolled him in glitter. 

One of these days I'll watch the Rifftrax of it.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Diane AKA Traska on March 27, 2013, 08:42:14 PM
One of these days I'll watch the Rifftrax of it.

It is GLORIOUS.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Lady Snowdon on March 27, 2013, 08:48:54 PM
I actually did walk out of Eyes Wide Shut when I saw it in theaters.  My mom asked why I was home early, and I told her what it was about.  She agreed I was right to walk out.  ;)

I hated Stealth.  DH and I like futuristic, sci-fi movies, but Stealth was just awful awful awful.  My DH said he thought the actor (maybe Jamie Foxx?) who was killed in the first 15 minutes probably made that a condition of agreeing to be in the movie.  Whenever we see a movie I don't like, DH asks me if I thought it was as bad as Stealth. 

I thought The Prestige was pretty terrible.  The twist at the end made me feel like I'd been duped. 

I've fallen asleep while trying to watch The Fast and the Furious multiple times.  It's just...not exciting.  So maybe this is the worst movie I've never seen?  :P

So bad it's good - League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.  DH and I spend the entire movie giggling insanely at the weird, stupid things that happen.  Like the Nautilus being the size of a 15 story building, and somehow managing to sail submerged up the Thames.  Or Nemo developing ICBM's and launching one in Venice.  Or the fact that Nina Harker is a vampire.  Or any of the other insanities they try to play off. 
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: MrTango on March 27, 2013, 08:49:41 PM
Can't believe I made it through the whole thread and no one mentioned Waterworld or Robin Hood Prince of Thieves. Two of Kevin Costner's biggest stinkers.

In RH:PoT he can't maintain an English accent and gives up at some point and morphs into some kind of Brooklyn, NY accent, except that Costner is from California. The movie was trying to be dramatic and romantic but fails miserably on both fronts. It might have succeeded as a comedy; Alan Rickman as the Sheriff was hilarious -- but I'm not sure he was supposed to be.

If you haven't seen "Robin Hood: Men In Tights"...see it!  Mel Brooks rips on the Costner movie something fierce.
I loved Men in Tights! I like most of Mel Brooks movies although Space Balls got to be a little too dumb for my taste.

"Unlike some *other* Robin Hoods, I can speak with an English accent!"

Actually, I liked Spaceballs.  It wasn't as good as History of the World Part I or Blazing Saddles, but it had some great one-liners.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on March 27, 2013, 10:09:08 PM
Can't believe I made it through the whole thread and no one mentioned Waterworld or Robin Hood Prince of Thieves. Two of Kevin Costner's biggest stinkers.

In RH:PoT he can't maintain an English accent and gives up at some point and morphs into some kind of Brooklyn, NY accent, except that Costner is from California. The movie was trying to be dramatic and romantic but fails miserably on both fronts. It might have succeeded as a comedy; Alan Rickman as the Sheriff was hilarious -- but I'm not sure he was supposed to be.

If you haven't seen "Robin Hood: Men In Tights"...see it!  Mel Brooks rips on the Costner movie something fierce.
I loved Men in Tights! I like most of Mel Brooks movies although Space Balls got to be a little too dumb for my taste.

"Unlike some *other* Robin Hoods, I can speak with an English accent!"

Actually, I liked Spaceballs.  It wasn't as good as History of the World Part I or Blazing Saddles, but it had some great one-liners.

"He's an Ahole sir."
"I know that, what's his name?"
"That is his name, sir. Ahole, Major Ahole."
"And his cousin?"
"He's an Ahole too sir. Gunner's class first mate Phillip Ahole."
"How many Aholes we got on this ship?"
"YO!"
"I knew it, I'm surrounded by Aholes!"
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Diane AKA Traska on March 27, 2013, 10:19:06 PM
Can't believe I made it through the whole thread and no one mentioned Waterworld or Robin Hood Prince of Thieves. Two of Kevin Costner's biggest stinkers.

In RH:PoT he can't maintain an English accent and gives up at some point and morphs into some kind of Brooklyn, NY accent, except that Costner is from California. The movie was trying to be dramatic and romantic but fails miserably on both fronts. It might have succeeded as a comedy; Alan Rickman as the Sheriff was hilarious -- but I'm not sure he was supposed to be.

If you haven't seen "Robin Hood: Men In Tights"...see it!  Mel Brooks rips on the Costner movie something fierce.
I loved Men in Tights! I like most of Mel Brooks movies although Space Balls got to be a little too dumb for my taste.

"Unlike some *other* Robin Hoods, I can speak with an English accent!"

Actually, I liked Spaceballs.  It wasn't as good as History of the World Part I or Blazing Saddles, but it had some great one-liners.

Blazing Saddles is Brooks' best work, but I just do not find a single moment of HotWPtI funny in the slightest.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Venus193 on March 28, 2013, 06:02:26 AM
Two Academy Award winners (or at least nominated):  Howard's End and Sling Blade.  Both horrible.

I can't think of the name but there was a period piece with Michelle Pfeiffer and Daniel Day Lewis.  First movie I didn't watch through to the end.

Black Rain.  It was some sort of thriller with Michael Douglas.  Or was it Kurt Russell?  I slept through the middle of it - in the theatre.

And the poster who mentioned Mullholland Drive?  I agree.  Still no idea what that was about.

That was The Age of Innocence.  I enjoyed that one despite that Michelle Pfeiffer isn't up to Daniel Day Lewis is ability.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Verloona Ti on March 28, 2013, 06:45:19 AM
I rented Crimes of Passion from netflix, watched it last night. As an "erotic thriller", it belongs on this list, but as a (unintentional) comedy it was enjoyable. Dumb script , no logic, lousy acting (from the married couple mostly) , hilariously bad dialogue, styles and furnishings that make it a perfect time capsule of the early 1980s -what's not to love????
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Miss Misery on March 28, 2013, 07:10:03 AM
Freddy Got Fingered -- the movie where Tom Green swings a newborn around by the umbilical cord while screaming Wakey! Wakey! Wakey!

I still have nightmares. :P
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on March 28, 2013, 07:13:20 AM
Son of the Mask.  Oh my heavens was that a terrible movie!!!!! And the special effects were terrifying!
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Twik on March 28, 2013, 07:38:10 AM
There is, apparently, some justification for Kevin Costner's lack of accent in Prince of Thieves.

Nowadays, not a lot of dialogue is shown on film just as the actors speak it during filming. Much of it is overdubbed later, so that the voices are clearer. Costner was, apparently, told that he could read his lines without an accent during filming, because he would be able to redo them all in the sound studio.

Then, in an effort to get the film out (there was a smaller production of a Robin Hood film being made at the same time, and PoT wanted to be out first), the studio skipped the post-filming sound work.

So, the lack of attention to accents is, at least in the main, attributable to the studio rather than Costner. Of course, in better productions, such as The Lord of the Rings, studios bring in speech coaches to ensure the actors have the right accent. They don't just go, "Sound English, OK?" when there are gazillions of very specific types of English accents to choose from. If Costner was given no direction at all, I can't quite blame him for the whole mess.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Perfect Circle on March 28, 2013, 08:26:25 AM
I hate hate hate the American version of Wings of Desire with a passion. The original German version is my favourite film of all times and what they did to it is just wrong on so many levels. Left the theatre when it became clear that they didn't get what the film was really about.

Sheltering Sky. It was just the worst kind of nothing really happens but we are miserable stuff in stunning surroundings admittedly. But not good. Even John Malkovich couldn't save it. I walked out of that too.

And Uwe Boll's Seed. It is a terrible terrible terrible film. So terrible it's worse than terrible. I accidentally saw his Auschwitz film recently and actually it wasn't too bad. It wasn't great, but it wasn't total excrement either.

I hate Titanic. I don't like Dirty Dancing at all. I feel asleep during the Avengers.

Also, I cannot post this without mentioning Blair Witch II. It was almost so bad it was good, but not quite.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: BarensMom on March 28, 2013, 09:07:06 AM
My DH believed the reviews and took me to see Quentin Taratino's version of "Inglorious Basterds."  What a crummy take on fake history.

DH also took me to see "Battlefield Earth," which was so bad that the best part of the movie was when they stopped it and turned up the lights because I dropped my wedding ring.  The other 5 people in the theater were incredibly nice about it and helped us look.  After it was found, all of us left without watching the end.

DH and I found Coriolanus (2011) so boring, that we both took a nap in the theater.  Best nap ever, though.  I've been thinking about buying the DVD as a cure for insomnia.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Perfect Circle on March 28, 2013, 09:52:29 AM
I forgot to mention the Wickerman remake. Holy macaroni!. It was bad. So so bad.

The original? Pure genius.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Sharnita on March 28, 2013, 09:57:10 AM
On the subject of fake history, Disney's Pocahontas.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: FlyingBaconMouse on March 28, 2013, 10:02:43 AM
An Awfully Big Adventure.

How bad could a comedy featuring Hugh Grant, Alan Rickman, Edward "Lord Peter Wimsey" Petherbridge and Alan "Watson from Young Sherlock Holmes" Cox be, you ask? When it centers on aging, closeted sexuality, orphans, destructive interpersonal relationships, accidental incest and suicide, it turns out that the answer is "Very, very, very bad." I laughed once, and not at anything I can even approximate repeating on the forum.

Alan Rickman in a bomber jacket is very pretty, but please, please, get your Alan-Rickman-in-a-bomber-jacket fix elsewhere.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Geekychick1984 on March 28, 2013, 10:06:18 AM
Let's add Tim Burton's insult to Dark Shadows.  While the first 20 minutes were good the rest of the film was astonishingly bad.

yup.  This is the first Tim Burton/Johnny Depp movie I couldn't finish.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Miss Misery on March 28, 2013, 10:32:38 AM
Basic Instinct 2 -- The first one wasn't exactly high art to begin with, but it's a masterpiece compared to this steaming pile of dung. It doesn't help that David Morrissey looks like he's about to vomit during all of his scrabble scenes.

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra -- Big, loud, overly long, dumbed-down, brainless crap made by Stephen Sommers aka the biggest hack in Hollywood who isn't Michael Bay. Dennis Quaid is slumming for an easy paycheck, while Channing Tatum and Sienna Miller were having a contest to see who could deliver the laziest half-@$$ed performance. Miller won a well-deserved 2009 Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actress. Note that Miller and Quaid are nowhere to be seen in the sequel.

Exorcist II: The Heretic -- Takes everything that made the first movie a classic and pukes all over it.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on March 28, 2013, 11:59:38 AM
On the subject of fake history, Disney's Pocahontas.

Oh yes!! That atrocity!   I went to Jamestown a few times while growing up, and loved the story of Pocahontas so at first when I heard Disney was making a movie about it, I was stoked,  Then I saw it.  GAH!! It was terrible!

1) Um, there are NO cliffs in that part of Virginia, thank you.   
2) Pocahontas was maybe 10 when the colonists came, NOT 17!!!
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: jaxsue on March 28, 2013, 12:10:09 PM
On the subject of fake history, Disney's Pocahontas.

This.

I recently found out that one of my ancestors was in Jamestown in 1608 (he came over on a supply ship). So he would have known Pocahontas and Capt. John Smith. I think that's pretty cool!
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: KenveeB on March 28, 2013, 01:02:00 PM
I forgot to mention the Wickerman remake. Holy macaroni!. It was bad. So so bad.

The original? Pure genius.

Ptooi! Do not mention that atrocity, even on a thread of bad films! The original Wicker Man was absolute genius. The Nicholas Cage monstrosity should not be acknowledged as even attempting to remake it. :P
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Twik on March 28, 2013, 01:11:50 PM
On the subject of fake history, Disney's Pocahontas.

Not much worse, I suppose, than the Colin Farrell version, with him groping a 14-year-old actress.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Outdoor Girl on March 28, 2013, 04:23:28 PM
Two Academy Award winners (or at least nominated):  Howard's End and Sling Blade.  Both horrible.

I can't think of the name but there was a period piece with Michelle Pfeiffer and Daniel Day Lewis.  First movie I didn't watch through to the end.

Black Rain.  It was some sort of thriller with Michael Douglas.  Or was it Kurt Russell?  I slept through the middle of it - in the theatre.

And the poster who mentioned Mullholland Drive?  I agree.  Still no idea what that was about.

That was The Age of Innocence.  I enjoyed that one despite that Michelle Pfeiffer isn't up to Daniel Day Lewis is ability.

That's the one!  Thank you.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Thipu1 on March 29, 2013, 10:10:43 AM
Dear Miss Misery,

How convenient that 'G.I. Joe.  Rise of the Cobra' is offered on TV tonight.  We must at least take a look at it. 
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: helixa on March 29, 2013, 11:39:24 AM
I disliked Inception too, even seeing it at the movies didn't help.

My worst movie pick ever has to have been Anaconda though  :'(
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Elisabunny on March 29, 2013, 08:30:50 PM
Dear Miss Misery,

How convenient that 'G.I. Joe.  Rise of the Cobra' is offered on TV tonight.  We must at least take a look at it.

Quotes from today's review of G.I. Joe: Retaliation: "If a big, dumb action movie knows it's a big, dumb action movie and revels in that fact, is that preferable to a big, dumb action movie making the mistake of thinking it's significant, relevant art?"  The answer is, in short, yes (the second movie referred to is Olympus Has Fallen).  Also, "That's not to say that this "G.I. Joe" is good, aside from a couple of dazzling action set pieces, but at least it's efficient in its muscular mindlessness."   ;D
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on March 29, 2013, 08:35:29 PM
The Nostalgia Critic reviewed Pearl Harbor recently and oh man did he let loose with quite the rant about Michael Bay's treatment of history. 
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: catbug on March 29, 2013, 09:37:31 PM
I have to say the worst movie I ever saw was suggested by my mum, and even she agrees that it was a huge mistake. The Gods Must Be Crazy. It was horrible. There used to be a reviewer on tv that mum worked out that any movie he gave two or three stars to ended up being right up my parents alley. The four and five stars were generally too "arty" for my parents, and the one stars were generally just bad. The reviewer gave the worst movie I had ever seen a three star. Every other critic around was giving it five stars, and talking it up as a masterpiece. In what universe was that movie a masterpiece? I fell asleep. Mum fell asleep. But since we had a three day rental, we tried to watch it again, and again. Each time we fell asleep, though I tried to stay awake the third time. It was then we realised we weren't tired, but it was actually putting us to sleep. Mum can fall asleep at the drop of a hat (the opening sequence of Gladiator springs to mind, you know the huge battle sequence, mum started snoozing about 5 minutes in, then woke up just as the tiger sprang out in the colleseum fight at the end) but I never fall asleep watching movies, unless I am really tired, or it's Peter Jackson's King Kong. I really want to watch that movie, but I always fall asleep. Don't know why. The Gods Must Be Crazy should be used as a treatment for insomnia. Works for me. But even worse they made sequels.

As for other terrible movies, have to agree with those that have said Alexander, and also add Marie Antoinette (Kirsten Dunst). I expected Twilight to be bad just on the basis of the novel being one of the worst pieces of fiction that I have ever read. A friend of mine raved about Rocky Horror Picture Show, but I have never understood the attraction. I will watch up to Sweet Transvestite, then turn it off. From that point I just can't watch anymore.

One of my favourite movies (in my top 5) is one of those so bad it's good. The Pirate Movie. It's definitely a family favourite, and I know every single line of that movie. Kristy McNichol and Chris Atkins in a Pirates of Penzance spoof, filmed in Victoria with Aussie actors. It is hilarious, especially when you see people in it that have gone on to bigger things, and it is a really, really bad movie.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: andi on March 29, 2013, 10:06:08 PM
I love "The Pirate Movie" - the ending musical sequence is one of my all time favorites.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: afbluebelle on March 29, 2013, 10:31:34 PM
I thought y'all were talking about the movie "Pirates" (NSFW).  That movie is... well, really hilarious during the acting parts. It was voted "Best Movie" when we had our MST3K inspired "Pron and Chicken Thursdays" event.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Library Dragon on March 30, 2013, 12:22:54 AM
I forgot to mention the Wickerman remake. Holy macaroni!. It was bad. So so bad.

The original? Pure genius.

Ptooi! Do not mention that atrocity, even on a thread of bad films! The original Wicker Man was absolute genius. The Nicholas Cage monstrosity should not be acknowledged as even attempting to remake it. :P

POD
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: stargazer on March 30, 2013, 09:27:42 AM
Dante's Inferno - I actually enjoy the first half of this movie or so.  SPOILER ALERT.   

But as soon as the volcano erupts, the movie goes from fun fluff to "are you kidding me".  Each scene has something more unbelievable than the last - it's like they kept trying to out do themselves in the most unrealistic situation ever.  Newsflash - volcanic lava WILL melt your car, regardless of what this movie tries to tell you.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Diane AKA Traska on March 30, 2013, 09:54:33 AM
Dante's Inferno - I actually enjoy the first half of this movie or so.  SPOILER ALERT.   

But as soon as the volcano erupts, the movie goes from fun fluff to "are you kidding me".  Each scene has something more unbelievable than the last - it's like they kept trying to out do themselves in the most unrealistic situation ever.  Newsflash - volcanic lava WILL melt your car, regardless of what this movie tries to tell you.

Add to that Volcano... additional newsflash, being directly OVER lava is not good for you.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Pen^2 on March 30, 2013, 10:50:02 AM
"Ultra Violet". For the first five or ten minutes, I was enjoying the cool visuals and effects and soundtrack. Then I discovered that the entire movie was that, with nothing new, for two hours or something. The same special effects over and over and over so frequently that you don't just get used to them, you rapidly grow sick of them. The plot was the worst part, because it almost could have been reshaped into something interesting, but it was instead clearly cut and diluted in favour of more repetitive special effects.

I will never get those two hours of my life back.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: robobecky on March 30, 2013, 10:58:36 AM
Another for me is Silent Hill. Saw it in the theater and the best part was when an audience member made Tarzan sound effects when the lead character was swinging from a vine ;D. It didn't help that I'd had no idea it was based on a video game so was very confused during parts of the movie that make no sense if you are not familiar with the game.
 
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: LazyDaisy on March 31, 2013, 05:10:10 PM
Dear Miss Misery,

How convenient that 'G.I. Joe.  Rise of the Cobra' is offered on TV tonight.  We must at least take a look at it.

Quotes from today's review of G.I. Joe: Retaliation: "If a big, dumb action movie knows it's a big, dumb action movie and revels in that fact, is that preferable to a big, dumb action movie making the mistake of thinking it's significant, relevant art?"  The answer is, in short, yes (the second movie referred to is Olympus Has Fallen).  Also, "That's not to say that this "G.I. Joe" is good, aside from a couple of dazzling action set pieces, but at least it's efficient in its muscular mindlessness."    ;D
This perfectly sums up why I love almost any Vin Diesel movie. He doesn't pretend to be a great actor and I can just look at his muscles and listen to that beautiful deep voice for a while without worrying about following a plot or character development...there isn't any  :D
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Sharnita on March 31, 2013, 09:54:54 PM
Dante's Inferno - I actually enjoy the first half of this movie or so.  SPOILER ALERT.   

But as soon as the volcano erupts, the movie goes from fun fluff to "are you kidding me".  Each scene has something more unbelievable than the last - it's like they kept trying to out do themselves in the most unrealistic situation ever.  Newsflash - volcanic lava WILL melt your car, regardless of what this movie tries to tell you.

Add to that Volcano... additional newsflash, being directly OVER lava is not good for you.

I also seem to remember a scene with Grandma and a boat that was  ::)  :o
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Redneck Gravy on April 01, 2013, 11:07:12 AM
I know I am the only person on this planet that thought Dances with Wolves was boring - but I am.  I thought it was awfully dull and have never seen all of it.  oops

I did not enjoy Chariots of Fire either. 

I hate it when I feel guilty for not enjoying movies that everyone else LOVES!  Especially Oscar winners   :-[



Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Morticia on April 01, 2013, 11:20:00 AM
I know I am the only person on this planet that thought Dances with Wolves was boring - but I am.  I thought it was awfully dull and have never seen all of it.  oops

I did not enjoy Chariots of Fire either. 

I hate it when I feel guilty for not enjoying movies that everyone else LOVES!  Especially Oscar winners   :-[



You are not as alone as you think... :)
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Redwing on April 01, 2013, 11:36:24 AM
I know I am the only person on this planet that thought Dances with Wolves was boring - but I am.  I thought it was awfully dull and have never seen all of it.  oops

I did not enjoy Chariots of Fire either. 

I hate it when I feel guilty for not enjoying movies that everyone else LOVES!  Especially Oscar winners   :-[



You are not as alone as you think... :)

You definitely aren't.  What a snoozefest.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Diane AKA Traska on April 01, 2013, 11:53:50 AM
I know I am the only person on this planet that thought Dances with Wolves was boring - but I am.  I thought it was awfully dull and have never seen all of it.  oops

I did not enjoy Chariots of Fire either. 

I hate it when I feel guilty for not enjoying movies that everyone else LOVES!  Especially Oscar winners   :-[



You are not as alone as you think... :)

You definitely aren't.  What a snoozefest.

Mom loved it.  I tried.  It's saying something when Costner is the upbeat part of a film.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Virg on April 01, 2013, 12:00:38 PM
catbug wrote:

"I have to say the worst movie I ever saw was suggested by my mum, and even she agrees that it was a huge mistake. The Gods Must Be Crazy."

See, I found it to be very entertaining.  You know how someone will tell you something like, "you'll like this if you like British humor" or such?  It's like that, in that humor that comes from sub-Saharan Africa is peculiar and it either tickles you or it really doesn't.  If it doesn't then I can only imagine how awful it would be to sit through hours of it.

LazyDisy wrote:

"This perfectly sums up why I love almost any Vin Diesel movie. He doesn't pretend to be a great actor and I can just look at his muscles and listen to that beautiful deep voice for a while without worrying about following a plot or character development...there isn't any"

For one where he almost did some good acting, check out Pitch Black.

Redneck Gravy wrote:

"I know I am the only person on this planet that thought Dances with Wolves was boring - but I am.  I thought it was awfully dull and have never seen all of it."

I liked it and I still thought it was far too long, so you're not wrong in my opinion.  The funny part is that I've thought that way about many Kevin Costner films.

Virg
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: LazyDaisy on April 01, 2013, 01:25:04 PM
catbug wrote:

"I have to say the worst movie I ever saw was suggested by my mum, and even she agrees that it was a huge mistake. The Gods Must Be Crazy."

See, I found it to be very entertaining.  You know how someone will tell you something like, "you'll like this if you like British humor" or such?  It's like that, in that humor that comes from sub-Saharan Africa is peculiar and it either tickles you or it really doesn't.  If it doesn't then I can only imagine how awful it would be to sit through hours of it.

LazyDisy wrote:

"This perfectly sums up why I love almost any Vin Diesel movie. He doesn't pretend to be a great actor and I can just look at his muscles and listen to that beautiful deep voice for a while without worrying about following a plot or character development...there isn't any"

For one where he almost did some good acting, check out Pitch Black.

Redneck Gravy wrote:

"I know I am the only person on this planet that thought Dances with Wolves was boring - but I am.  I thought it was awfully dull and have never seen all of it."

I liked it and I still thought it was far too long, so you're not wrong in my opinion.  The funny part is that I've thought that way about many Kevin Costner films.

Virg

I've seen it, and the follow up Chronicles of Riddick.

They're not the worst Sci-Fi films I've ever seen. I think that honor goes to Ghosts of Mars -- bleck. I agree with a Rotten Tomatoes review: "Mad Max Heads for the Angry Red Planet on a Pitch Black Night of the Living Dead." For a really gory Sci Fi "thriller" starring Jason Statham, Ice Cube, and directed by John Carpenter, it was mind-numbingly dull and dumb. By the middle of the movie, I ended up hoping the "zombies" won but couldn't manage to watch it through to the end.

Diesel's style of acting is to flex menacingly, smirk in both a scary and sexy way, and deliver a great one-liner. He almost never plays a likable character, and yet I end up cheering for him. He plays it really quite well.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: artk2002 on April 01, 2013, 01:28:14 PM
I know I am the only person on this planet that thought Dances with Wolves was boring - but I am.  I thought it was awfully dull and have never seen all of it.  oops

I remember some wag calling it "Lunches with Agents.'
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Twik on April 01, 2013, 02:25:04 PM
I know I am the only person on this planet that thought Dances with Wolves was boring - but I am.  I thought it was awfully dull and have never seen all of it.  oops

I did not enjoy Chariots of Fire either. 

I hate it when I feel guilty for not enjoying movies that everyone else LOVES!  Especially Oscar winners   :-[



You are not as alone as you think... :)

You definitely aren't.  What a snoozefest.

Mom loved it.  I tried.  It's saying something when Costner is the upbeat part of a film.

But Costner wasn't in Chariots of Fire....

... Oh. Never mind.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: afbluebelle on April 01, 2013, 11:45:15 PM
catbug wrote:

"I have to say the worst movie I ever saw was suggested by my mum, and even she agrees that it was a huge mistake. The Gods Must Be Crazy."

See, I found it to be very entertaining.  You know how someone will tell you something like, "you'll like this if you like British humor" or such?  It's like that, in that humor that comes from sub-Saharan Africa is peculiar and it either tickles you or it really doesn't.  If it doesn't then I can only imagine how awful it would be to sit through hours of it.

LazyDisy wrote:

"This perfectly sums up why I love almost any Vin Diesel movie. He doesn't pretend to be a great actor and I can just look at his muscles and listen to that beautiful deep voice for a while without worrying about following a plot or character development...there isn't any"

For one where he almost did some good acting, check out Pitch Black.

Redneck Gravy wrote:

"I know I am the only person on this planet that thought Dances with Wolves was boring - but I am.  I thought it was awfully dull and have never seen all of it."

I liked it and I still thought it was far too long, so you're not wrong in my opinion.  The funny part is that I've thought that way about many Kevin Costner films.

Virg

I've seen it, and the follow up Chronicles of Riddick.

They're not the worst Sci-Fi films I've ever seen. I think that honor goes to Ghosts of Mars -- bleck. I agree with a Rotten Tomatoes review: "Mad Max Heads for the Angry Red Planet on a Pitch Black Night of the Living Dead." For a really gory Sci Fi "thriller" starring Jason Statham, Ice Cube, and directed by John Carpenter, it was mind-numbingly dull and dumb. By the middle of the movie, I ended up hoping the "zombies" won but couldn't manage to watch it through to the end.

Diesel's style of acting is to flex menacingly, smirk in both a scary and sexy way, and deliver a great one-liner. He almost never plays a likable character, and yet I end up cheering for him. He plays it really quite well.

You all should watch Find Me Guilty. Vin Diesel captures the swagger of Jackie DiNorscio perfectly.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on April 02, 2013, 06:16:55 AM
The only movie I saw where Vin Diesel did a comedy  (not counting clever  one-liners in action movies) was The Pacifier, playing a Navy Seal who gets assigned to take care of a family that's lost the father to spies who were looking for some program.   

It wasn't a good movie but it did have its funny moments.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: whiterose on April 02, 2013, 06:55:07 AM
Odds and Evens? Cool World?

I left the 2nd and 3rd Pirates of the Caribbean movies wanting those hours of my life back!!!
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: cheyne on April 02, 2013, 02:36:21 PM
The second Pirates of the Carribean, Dead Man's Chest.  I adored the first movie and couldn't wait for the sequel.  I actually fell asleep when the crew was rescuing Jack from the cannibals.  Awful crap that was.  The only good part of the movie was the last two minutes or so when you realize Barbossa was back and will be in the third movie.

As for the "so bad they are deliciously good" catagory:  *Drumroll please*

Hands-down winner is The Scorpion King starring The Rock.

Second place is Time Cop with Jean-Claude Van Damme.
 
Honorable mention goes to The Devil's Advocate starring Al Pacino and Keanu Reeves
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: gingerzing on April 02, 2013, 04:03:14 PM

Second place is Time Cop with Jean-Claude Van Damme.
 


I had a roommate years ago who had a thing about Van Damme movies.   ::) 
Actually the movie Double Trouble (or some such) where he played his own twin...esh

Though the so bad it is good for me of Van Damme was the movie Hard Target - Only because of the scene early on:
Natasha : What kind of a name is Chance?
Chance : Well... my momma took one...
 8)
And Wilford Brimley had a part in it as well (around the time of the oatmeal commercials if memory serves me.)
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: violinp on April 02, 2013, 04:54:51 PM
Kingdom of Heaven and Troy. The person who thought Orlando Bloom was an acceptable warrior in the times of the Crusades or in Troy was sadly mistaken.

But, wait! There's more fail!

Kingdom of Heaven: No one of that time would have made an inclusive speech about how the Holy Land is really everyone's land, and one site is not more holy than another. They just didn't think that way back then. It was "my way or I will firebomb you into the Bad Place my religion says you will go." It was so pandering to modern sensibility that I wanted to gag.

Troy: If Paris had crawled back to his brother like that, Hector would have had no problems killing Paris, because a man in that time could never look "weak" in that way. Okay, there were probably atheists in Troy at some point, but no one of Hector's standing would have ever disparaged the gods in public - that was a good way to become a pariah at best and very dead at worst. Also, the names are "Men - uh - LAY - us," "PRY - am," and "Puh - TROK - lus." Not "Men - uh - LAOS," "PREE - um," and "PAT - rok - lus." It makes me want to shake whoever was consultant on that film every time I hear those names being mangled. I bet that next time a Greek myth movie comes out, I'll hear someone in a film unironically refer to "Her - ACK - uhls," (Herakles, pronounced "HAIR - uh - klees") and I will be on the floor, laughing so hard there are tears in my eyes.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on April 02, 2013, 06:52:24 PM
The second Pirates of the Carribean, Dead Man's Chest.  I adored the first movie and couldn't wait for the sequel.  I actually fell asleep when the crew was rescuing Jack from the cannibals.  Awful crap that was.  The only good part of the movie was the last two minutes or so when you realize Barbossa was back and will be in the third movie.

That movie is the only one of the series I don't particularly care for.  Only parts I liked is when Jack is running down the beach toward the Pearl screaming, and when you see Barbossa and he says "So tell me, what's become of my ship?"

I love the other 3 movies.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: FlyingBaconMouse on April 03, 2013, 06:27:53 AM
The second Pirates of the Carribean, Dead Man's Chest.  I adored the first movie and couldn't wait for the sequel.  I actually fell asleep when the crew was rescuing Jack from the cannibals.  Awful crap that was.  The only good part of the movie was the last two minutes or so when you realize Barbossa was back and will be in the third movie.

That movie is the only one of the series I don't particularly care for.  Only parts I liked is when Jack is running down the beach toward the Pearl screaming, and when you see Barbossa and he says "So tell me, what's become of my ship?"

I love the other 3 movies.

I'm starting to wish I'd gone to see Dead Man's Chest with e-Hellions! When Barbossa showed up at the end, I whispered "Yes!" and it rang out in the theater like I had a megaphone.  :-[
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on April 03, 2013, 06:39:23 AM
I think the 2nd movie should have had more Barbossa.  As much as I love Jack, I also greatly enjoy the character of Barbossa, as well as the interactions between Jack and Barbossa.   

So when the character showed up at the end I was so pleased to know he'd be back in the next movie. 
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: magicdomino on April 03, 2013, 04:20:33 PM
. I bet that next time a Greek myth movie comes out, I'll hear someone in a film unironically refer to "Her - ACK - uhls," (Herakles, pronounced "HAIR - uh - klees") and I will be on the floor, laughing so hard there are tears in my eyes.

Nah, they'll just use the Romanized "Hercules."  Everyone has heard of Hercules, either in the animated movie, or that TV series with What's-His-Name.  No one has ever heard of this Hair-clues guy, except maybe people who watch Mystery on Public Television.   ;)
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: MerryCat on April 03, 2013, 05:59:44 PM
Ooo.. I just thought of one - Prometheus! I'll admit I loved the scenery pron. So many long, slow, sweeping shots of gorgeous landscapes... *sigh*

But the movie made next to no sense (Spoilers!)



How is she running around after an emergency c-section held together only with staples? What xeno-biologist, when faced with a chance to study the remains of an alien species, decides instead to run away? And then, goes on to try and poke at evil looking black, oozy snake things? How is it the guy with the map makey things is the one that gets lost? Why was only one of them smart enough to figure that, if they just roll 4 feet (literally!) to the side, the big wheely thing won't crush them? So many dumbs!
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: KimberlyM on April 03, 2013, 06:26:22 PM
I know Pearl Harbor is an abomination, but for some reason, DH and I watch it every time it's on, which used to be a lot, when we had cable.

HaHa.  Isn't it odd that some bad movies are like that?  Mine is Flowers in the Attic.  That thing is so poorly done and doesn't even follow the book much, and yet I can't stop watching every time it's on.
Mine are Flowers int he Attic and The Stand.  Both awful, both irresistible.

Worst ever though was Nurse Betty, my sister recommended it and now we just never watch anything she suggests.  I watched to the credits waiting for itself to redeem itself, never happened.

Waterworld and Red Dawn top my lists too.  Granted the problem with Red Dawn may be more that my husband watches it every single time it's on!
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Diane AKA Traska on April 03, 2013, 10:04:15 PM
I know Pearl Harbor is an abomination, but for some reason, DH and I watch it every time it's on, which used to be a lot, when we had cable.

HaHa.  Isn't it odd that some bad movies are like that?  Mine is Flowers in the Attic.  That thing is so poorly done and doesn't even follow the book much, and yet I can't stop watching every time it's on.
Mine are Flowers int he Attic and The Stand.  Both awful, both irresistible.

Worst ever though was Nurse Betty, my sister recommended it and now we just never watch anything she suggests.  I watched to the credits waiting for itself to redeem itself, never happened.

Waterworld and Red Dawn top my lists too.  Granted the problem with Red Dawn may be more that my husband watches it every single time it's on!

Invite me.  I'll be deliberately obtuse.

"Wolverines?  I call bull. I don't see ONE set of claws, and they're not even Canadian!"
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Verloona Ti on April 04, 2013, 06:48:39 AM
OK, here's a really, REALLY bad movie I am bringing up mostly because I hope someone else will recognize it and give it a name:

Late 1960s-*maybe* 1970/71. It's about a newlywed couple who stumble upon a rundown hotel and roadside attraction , only to discover that the insane man running the place is holding a woman captive. She recounts her tale of woe to the young couple, and one of the torments to which her captor has subjected her to was ripped off from the MUCH better movie Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? :  He serves his starving captive a dead mouse to eat. Then it turns out that, among the more normal (reptile?) exhibits the man has on display is a hidden Ancient Evil From the Depths of the Earth. Then Something happens (Explosion? Fire?) and the AE, the man, and the captive are dead, leaving the newlyweds traumatized but alive and safe. The End.

Ring any bells?
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Last_Dance on April 04, 2013, 07:29:33 AM

Okay, there were probably atheists in Troy at some point, but no one of Hector's standing would have ever disparaged the gods in public - that was a good way to become a pariah at best and very dead at worst.

Have these people even read the Iliad? The greek gods weren't exactly a forgiving lot!
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: AnnaJane on April 04, 2013, 08:36:47 AM
+1 on Troy and Kingdom of Heaven. I remember at the time the latter came out, one medieval historian quipped that you'd get a more accurate picture of the Middle Ages watching Monty Python and the Holy Grail!
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Gyburc on April 04, 2013, 08:49:54 AM
I'm going to second the PP who suggested Prometheus. It was such a shame, because it could have been a really good film.

I have to take issue with the PP who suggested Kingdom of Heaven, though! I agree that it would have been very unlikely for anyone to make the exact speech that Bloom's character does, but the concept of peaceful coexistence wasn't unheard of.

For instance, the 13th-century German author Wolfram von Eschenbach is known for his sympathetic portrayal of the Saracens in his works, and for his argument that they are 'God's handiwork' just like the Christians. Wolfram himself was a knight who had almost certainly been on Crusade. I admit that Wolfram was in the minority, but these views certainly did exist.

If anything, I would say that the greater inaccuracy in the film was the portrayal of the Templars as evil thugs, when in fact they were one of the more enlightened factions in the Crusades (largely because they had travelled widely and had more knowledge of the different cultures they were encountering).

Sorry - this turned into a bit of a lecture!  :)

Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Virg on April 04, 2013, 11:30:42 AM
AnnaJane wrote:

"I remember at the time the latter came out, one medieval historian quipped that you'd get a more accurate picture of the Middle Ages watching Monty Python and the Holy Grail!"

I don't get it.  Other than the coconuts and Tim allowing Sir Robin to continue living after he opened his mouth, what was inaccurate about that epic?

Virg
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Twik on April 04, 2013, 11:39:25 AM

Okay, there were probably atheists in Troy at some point, but no one of Hector's standing would have ever disparaged the gods in public - that was a good way to become a pariah at best and very dead at worst.

Have these people even read the Iliad? The greek gods weren't exactly a forgiving lot!

It was also a great way to demoralize the troops, to see leaders committing blasphemy. People going into battle like feeling that they have any protection, supernatural or otherwise, that be obtained.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Nibsey on April 04, 2013, 11:46:51 AM
+1 on Troy and Kingdom of Heaven. I remember at the time the latter came out, one medieval historian quipped that you'd get a more accurate picture of the Middle Ages watching Monty Python and the Holy Grail!

Well that's because Terry Jones is a quite good medieval historian. ;D It took me longer than I like to admit , to realise that the Terry Jones my lecturer was talking about all those times in my Chaucer class was the Terry Jones.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: LazyDaisy on April 04, 2013, 11:50:52 AM
AnnaJane wrote:

"I remember at the time the latter came out, one medieval historian quipped that you'd get a more accurate picture of the Middle Ages watching Monty Python and the Holy Grail!"

I don't get it.  Other than the coconuts and Tim allowing Sir Robin to continue living after he opened his mouth, what was inaccurate about that epic?

Virg
hahahahaha


King Arthur: I am your king.
Peasant: Well, I didn't vote for you.
King Arthur: You don't vote for kings.
Peasant: Well, how'd you become king, then?
King Arthur: The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. That is why I am your king.
Peasant: Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.
Arthur: Be quiet!
Peasant: You can't expect to wield supreme power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!
Arthur: Shut up! Will you shut up?!
Peasant: Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system!
Arthur: Shut up!
Dennis: Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help, help, I'm being repressed!
Arthur: Bloody Peasant!


So historically accurate  ;D
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: nuit93 on April 04, 2013, 12:25:47 PM
+1 on Troy and Kingdom of Heaven. I remember at the time the latter came out, one medieval historian quipped that you'd get a more accurate picture of the Middle Ages watching Monty Python and the Holy Grail!

Well that's because Terry Jones is a quite good medieval historian. ;D It took me longer than I like to admit , to realise that the Terry Jones my lecturer was talking about all those times in my Chaucer class was the Terry Jones.

I would have loved to have taken that class!
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on April 04, 2013, 12:41:41 PM
AnnaJane wrote:

"I remember at the time the latter came out, one medieval historian quipped that you'd get a more accurate picture of the Middle Ages watching Monty Python and the Holy Grail!"

I don't get it.  Other than the coconuts and Tim allowing Sir Robin to continue living after he opened his mouth, what was inaccurate about that epic?

Virg
hahahahaha


King Arthur: I am your king.
Peasant: Well, I didn't vote for you.
King Arthur: You don't vote for kings.
Peasant: Well, how'd you become king, then?
King Arthur: The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. That is why I am your king.
Peasant: Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.
Arthur: Be quiet!
Peasant: You can't expect to wield supreme power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!
Arthur: Shut up! Will you shut up?!
Peasant: Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system!
Arthur: Shut up!
Dennis: Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help, help, I'm being repressed!
Arthur: Bloody Peasant!


So historically accurate  ;D

That right there is one of my favorite parts.  :)
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Miss Misery on April 04, 2013, 01:41:07 PM
Dear Miss Misery,

How convenient that 'G.I. Joe.  Rise of the Cobra' is offered on TV tonight.  We must at least take a look at it.

LOL?? Did you see it? Did you think that you could have replaced Channing Tatum and Sienna Miller with cardboard cutouts and tape recorders and nobody would have noticed?


Color of Night -- Bruce Willis' first and last foray into soft-core p0rn; it's hard to believe that Willis was in Pulp Fiction, which was released the same year.  Color of Night is like a Skinemax movie with actual actors in it. The supporting cast consisting of Lance Henriksen, Brad Dourif, Lesley Ann Warren, Kevin J. O'Connor, Scott Bakula, and Ruben Blades are completely wasted. There's a "shocking" plot twist that any idiot can see coming from a mile away. As of 2013 it remains the first and only movie to win the Razzie for Worst Film and nothing else.

Hannibal and Hannibal Rising--proof that you can't make good movies from bad novels.

All The King's Men (2006)--a painfully boring movie and huge box office flop with Kate Winslet, Jude Law, and Anthony Hopkins tragically miscast as good ole Louisiana folk. Was there a shortage of Americans during the casting? The only positive thing to come out this movie was that it got the ball rolling on Jackie Earle Haley's comeback.

Halloween (2007) and Halloween II (2009)--Lets see...apparently bullying turns you into a 7-foot-tall inhuman killing machine. Laurie is turned into such a loud, whiny, screechy, obnoxious brat that I hoped Michael Myers would disembowel her so she'd shut up. Dr. Loomis is turned into an arrogant scumbag. Everyone, and I mean everyone, drops the f-bomb three times in every.single.sentence. And Rob Zombie writes teenage girls like he's never met a teenage girl in his life.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Twik on April 04, 2013, 01:44:12 PM
Dear Miss Misery,

How convenient that 'G.I. Joe.  Rise of the Cobra' is offered on TV tonight.  We must at least take a look at it.

LOL?? Did you see it? Did you think that you could have replaced Channing Tatum and Sienna Miller with cardboard cutouts and tape recorders and nobody would have noticed?

 :o Replace?

You mean, they're NOT?
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: violinp on April 04, 2013, 02:32:01 PM
I'm going to second the PP who suggested Prometheus. It was such a shame, because it could have been a really good film.

I have to take issue with the PP who suggested Kingdom of Heaven, though! I agree that it would have been very unlikely for anyone to make the exact speech that Bloom's character does, but the concept of peaceful coexistence wasn't unheard of.

For instance, the 13th-century German author Wolfram von Eschenbach is known for his sympathetic portrayal of the Saracens in his works, and for his argument that they are 'God's handiwork' just like the Christians. Wolfram himself was a knight who had almost certainly been on Crusade. I admit that Wolfram was in the minority, but these views certainly did exist.

If anything, I would say that the greater inaccuracy in the film was the portrayal of the Templars as evil thugs, when in fact they were one of the more enlightened factions in the Crusades (largely because they had travelled widely and had more knowledge of the different cultures they were encountering).

Sorry - this turned into a bit of a lecture!  :)

I'll grant that there were people who did somewhat believe in co - existence, but I seriously doubt that a random blacksmith from France would have that opinion. Then again, believing that a milquetoast like Orlando Bloom could become a knight and lead the attack against Saladin stretched my suspension of disbelief about as far as it was willing to go. Yeah, the character's father is played by Liam Neeson, but as he dies before ever actually being able to teach his son how to fight (beyond one practice lesson in the woods), the biological connection doesn't work nearly as well as the moviemakers probably thought it did.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Redwing on April 04, 2013, 03:10:18 PM
A little bit off-topic, renowned Film Critic Roger Ebert died this afternoon.  http://www.suntimes.com/
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Diane AKA Traska on April 04, 2013, 03:56:20 PM
A little bit off-topic, renowned Film Critic Roger Ebert died this afternoon.  http://www.suntimes.com/

Now the balcony really is closed.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Hillia on April 04, 2013, 04:16:33 PM
A little bit off-topic, renowned Film Critic Roger Ebert died this afternoon.  http://www.suntimes.com/

Wow.  I just read yesterday that his cancer had come back.  That's too bad.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Miss Tickle on April 04, 2013, 08:23:27 PM
I used to work in a video store. The owner was an eccentric Englishman with a Benny Hill sense of humour and a huge collection of odd films.  We had a lot of bad movies. Bad in ways that would surprise the average person, but I've read some of them here so maybe not all of you.

The worst movie I ever saw in the theatre was Highlander 2. It was opening night, the place was SRO and you could tell everyone was excited.

And when the movie ended we sat there in stunned silence for about 10-15 seconds, which felt like forever. Then someone yelled, "That Sucked!" and we all burst into applause. I hope they didn't get the wrong idea.

My DH said, without hesitation, "That stripper one" (AKA Showgirls). He leads a sheltered life.

Edited to add:

He also says, "Here's to Roger Ebert, and his belief that a movie doesn't have to be Academy Award material to be a great film."
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: atirial on April 05, 2013, 03:13:40 AM
I tend to take Highlander 2 off my list of bad films, since it puts the bar so low no other movie could possibly pass it.

Worst in the cinema for me was Dungeons and Dragons. On release night, thanks to professional obligations. That movie was just. that. bad. We went to the pub afterwards to try to forget it.

So bad it was awesome: Star Crash.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: booklover03 on April 05, 2013, 06:29:49 AM
For me it's Panic Room and Ghost Ship. I've never been a huge Kristen Stewart fan because she seems to have only 1 expression. Ghost Ship was just bad, bad, bad. Bad plot, bad script, bad acting. I was dating my now dh at the time and he fell asleep it was so awful. Ghost Ship is how we guage the awfulness of a movie now.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: FlyingBaconMouse on April 05, 2013, 07:18:32 AM
For me it's Panic Room and Ghost Ship. I've never been a huge Kristen Stewart fan because she seems to have only 1 expression. Ghost Ship was just bad, bad, bad. Bad plot, bad script, bad acting. I was dating my now dh at the time and he fell asleep it was so awful. Ghost Ship is how we guage the awfulness of a movie now.

I didn't think it would be possible to dislike the end of Ghost Ship more than the rest of the movie, but it certainly was. That was the movie where I began to have a suspicion that I'll watch any old thing that has Gabriel Byrne in it. ( I have also seen Hello Again and End of Days, so that theory is pretty well confirmed!)
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: guihong on April 05, 2013, 07:23:36 AM
I present the Nicholas Cage remake of The Wicker Man.   The 1973 original had the incomparable Christopher Lee and was all Shirley Jackson-ish shock.  Nicholas Cage managed to make the story funny.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on April 05, 2013, 07:31:28 AM
Speaking of Kristen Stewart, that reminds me of another movie I saw but I can't remember the name.  Began with a Z, involved two young boys who played a game and ended up in space.  Was quite a rip off of Jumanji.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: booklover03 on April 05, 2013, 08:13:14 AM
Speaking of Kristen Stewart, that reminds me of another movie I saw but I can't remember the name.  Began with a Z, involved two young boys who played a game and ended up in space.  Was quite a rip off of Jumanji.

That was Zathura.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: booklover03 on April 05, 2013, 08:16:28 AM
For me it's Panic Room and Ghost Ship. I've never been a huge Kristen Stewart fan because she seems to have only 1 expression. Ghost Ship was just bad, bad, bad. Bad plot, bad script, bad acting. I was dating my now dh at the time and he fell asleep it was so awful. Ghost Ship is how we guage the awfulness of a movie now.

I didn't think it would be possible to dislike the end of Ghost Ship more than the rest of the movie, but it certainly was. That was the movie where I began to have a suspicion that I'll watch any old thing that has Gabriel Byrne in it. ( I have also seen Hello Again and End of Days, so that theory is pretty well confirmed!)


My mom is the same way with Pierce Brosnan  ;D.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: daen on April 05, 2013, 08:41:43 AM
Speaking of Kristen Stewart, that reminds me of another movie I saw but I can't remember the name.  Began with a Z, involved two young boys who played a game and ended up in space.  Was quite a rip off of Jumanji.

That was Zathura.

I'm not prepared to call Zathura a ripoff - more along the lines of a sequel or a "same-universe" story.

Both Zathura and Jumanji were originally kids' books by Chris Van Alburg.  Zathura is the later of the two, and refers back a number of times to Jumanji, both in text and illustrations. In (the book) Zathura, the kids have the Jumanji board game, but decide to play this other board game, Zathura, instead.
And then, of course, stuff ensues.
At the end of the book, one of the boys takes the Jumanji game and stuffs it in the trash, suggesting he has a pretty good idea what will happen if they start playing that, too.

I've seen both books at my library - the illustrations are fantastic.



Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Redneck Gravy on April 05, 2013, 09:56:42 AM

Color of Night -- Bruce Willis' first and last foray into soft-core p0rn; it's hard to believe that Willis was in Pulp Fiction, which was released the same year.  Color of Night is like a Skinemax movie with actual actors in it. The supporting cast consisting of Lance Henriksen, Brad Dourif, Lesley Ann Warren, Kevin J. O'Connor, Scott Bakula, and Ruben Blades are completely wasted. There's a "shocking" plot twist that any idiot can see coming from a mile away. As of 2013 it remains the first and only movie to win the Razzie for Worst Film and nothing else.

I had forgotten this one...yes horrible is being too kind to this movie.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on April 05, 2013, 10:33:55 AM
Speaking of Kristen Stewart, that reminds me of another movie I saw but I can't remember the name.  Began with a Z, involved two young boys who played a game and ended up in space.  Was quite a rip off of Jumanji.

That was Zathura.

I'm not prepared to call Zathura a ripoff - more along the lines of a sequel or a "same-universe" story.

Both Zathura and Jumanji were originally kids' books by Chris Van Alburg.  Zathura is the later of the two, and refers back a number of times to Jumanji, both in text and illustrations. In (the book) Zathura, the kids have the Jumanji board game, but decide to play this other board game, Zathura, instead.
And then, of course, stuff ensues.
At the end of the book, one of the boys takes the Jumanji game and stuffs it in the trash, suggesting he has a pretty good idea what will happen if they start playing that, too.

I've seen both books at my library - the illustrations are fantastic.

Ah okay.  I didn't realize they were both done by the same author, that makes more sense.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Mikayla on April 05, 2013, 04:53:16 PM
Independence Day.  Maybe I should call it the most disappointing, because I'm a summer blockbuster nerd and I'll sit through almost anything, ignoring all plot holes.  But this was a fail from beginning to end.  The President of the US flying a crop duster?  Uh, no....

I also agree with PPs on Matrix and Forrest Gump.  On the latter, everyone swore I'd love it just like everyone else.  Everyone was wrong. 

I also loathed this comedy called What About Bob?  I tried 3 times and lasted less than 15 minutes.

Oh, and on recent ones, it has to be Carnage with Jodie Foster, who I love.  But it was too strange for words. 
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Diane AKA Traska on April 05, 2013, 06:04:27 PM
Independence Day.  Maybe I should call it the most disappointing, because I'm a summer blockbuster nerd and I'll sit through almost anything, ignoring all plot holes.  But this was a fail from beginning to end.  The President of the US flying a crop duster?  Uh, no....

I also agree with PPs on Matrix and Forrest Gump.  On the latter, everyone swore I'd love it just like everyone else.  Everyone was wrong. 

I also loathed this comedy called What About Bob?  I tried 3 times and lasted less than 15 minutes.

Oh, and on recent ones, it has to be Carnage with Jodie Foster, who I love.  But it was too strange for words.

I loved the Matrix (and the fan edit of the sequels that removed all of the Zion stuff), and I personally think What About Bob is Murray's second best work, second only to Groundhog Day and yes, surpassing Ghostbusters.  But that's the great thing about art, it's entirely subjective.  :)  I mean, Michael Keaton's Batman (which was a real dud) beat Weird Al's UHF (which was hilarious) the year they came out.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: jedikaiti on April 05, 2013, 06:16:09 PM
Independence Day.  Maybe I should call it the most disappointing, because I'm a summer blockbuster nerd and I'll sit through almost anything, ignoring all plot holes.  But this was a fail from beginning to end.  The President of the US flying a crop duster?  Uh, no....

I also agree with PPs on Matrix and Forrest Gump.  On the latter, everyone swore I'd love it just like everyone else.  Everyone was wrong. 

I don't recall POTUS flying a crop duster in ID4. Fighter jet, yes - but not a crop duster. I love it, but I do so dearly love action movies.

Forrest Gump I rented once to try to find a scene alluded to in a film studies class I was taking (Prof mentioned a scene from a famous movie that Tom Hanks had been digitally added to for a bit in Gump). It was so awful I watched the whole thing on fast forward and missed the scene.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: booklover03 on April 05, 2013, 06:34:26 PM
Independence Day.  Maybe I should call it the most disappointing, because I'm a summer blockbuster nerd and I'll sit through almost anything, ignoring all plot holes.  But this was a fail from beginning to end.  The President of the US flying a crop duster?  Uh, no....

I also agree with PPs on Matrix and Forrest Gump.  On the latter, everyone swore I'd love it just like everyone else.  Everyone was wrong. 

I also loathed this comedy called What About Bob?  I tried 3 times and lasted less than 15 minutes.

Oh, and on recent ones, it has to be Carnage with Jodie Foster, who I love.  But it was too strange for words.

I DESPISED What About Bob. The rest of my family loved it, so it became a "family favorite". I can't count how many times I had to sit through this movie and try to entertain myself. Ground Hog Day was the same way. Everyone else seemed to love and think it was hilarious and for me it was like watching paint dry.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Slartibartfast on April 05, 2013, 06:38:34 PM
Independence Day.  Maybe I should call it the most disappointing, because I'm a summer blockbuster nerd and I'll sit through almost anything, ignoring all plot holes.  But this was a fail from beginning to end.  The President of the US flying a crop duster?  Uh, no....

I also agree with PPs on Matrix and Forrest Gump.  On the latter, everyone swore I'd love it just like everyone else.  Everyone was wrong. 

I also loathed this comedy called What About Bob?  I tried 3 times and lasted less than 15 minutes.

Oh, and on recent ones, it has to be Carnage with Jodie Foster, who I love.  But it was too strange for words.

I DESPISED What About Bob. The rest of my family loved it, so it became a "family favorite". I can't count how many times I had to sit through this movie and try to entertain myself. Ground Hog Day was the same way. Everyone else seemed to love and think it was hilarious and for me it was like watching paint dry.

I was forced to watch it for AP Psychology.  Seriously.  The rest of the class watched "Silence of the Lambs," and I and the one other girl who absolutely refused to sit through it (the week before AP tests, no less, when we really wanted to be doing actual learning and reviewing!) got sent down the library to watch "What About Bob?" instead.  We had to have the TV on, but we tried to tune it out and do homework instead.  Still hated it.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: ladyknight1 on April 05, 2013, 06:45:36 PM
I have read this entire thread!

Popular and award winning movies that I despise:
Sideways
Crash
Forrest Gump
The Golden Compass
Flashdance
Avatar (an alien version of Pocahontas)

Others:
Romancing the Stone (all of them)
The Blair Witch Project
The Cable Guy
Dirty Dancing
Red Dawn (2012 remake)
Footloose (2012 remake)
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on April 05, 2013, 06:46:50 PM
Ugh, The Cable Guy!! I hate that movie!!
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: soupmom on April 05, 2013, 07:52:43 PM
Saw this one mentioned earlier.  My DH dragged me to see Tom Cruise's "War of the Worlds".   I'm not a great Tom Cruise fan anyway, and Dakota Fanning's incessant screaming made a migraine headache that was just starting turn excruciating.

Same thing with "Titanic".  I sat in the theatre lobby during the second half of the movie because the strobe light effects used as the ship sank made me sick, again with a throbbing migraine.

My nominee for the best "so-bad-it's-good" movie, in part because of the title:  "Overdrawn At the Memory Bank" starring Raul Julia of all people.  It was a mid-80s television movie later shown on MST3K which had me doubled over with laughter.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Editeer on April 05, 2013, 08:22:31 PM
I've walked out of movies, and I've also sat through some stinkers (mainly when I was a teenager) that were so bad I've forgotten them. So I can't really say what the worst movie I ever saw was. Of the better-known movies that I can remember, Independence Day was one of the worst. It was an action picture with no action. It was a blockbuster that was simply . . . boring. The alien spaceship (or whatever it was) lands on the freeway, and everyone gets out of their cars, stands there, and screams. The spaceship makes the road shake. Everybody stands by their cars and screams. Road shakes. Big noise. Screams. The hero saves the day by  . . . typing on a keyboard (to do something completely stupid from a technical POV). What a snooze. The only reason I watched the whole thing was because I was on a plane and couldn't escape.

Another worst was Hannah and Her Sisters. Phony and dishonest. I decided afterward that I would never watch another Woody Allen film. I can't stand him.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Library Dragon on April 06, 2013, 12:29:59 AM
I present the Nicholas Cage remake of The Wicker Man.   The 1973 original had the incomparable Christopher Lee and was all Shirley Jackson-ish shock.  Nicholas Cage managed to make the story funny.

Edward Woodward (as the policeman) was believably earnest and rigid in his beliefs, wanting to do the right thing.  Nick Cage was just bumbling and clueless. 

Has anyone seen The Wicker Tree?
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Verloona Ti on April 06, 2013, 07:26:40 AM
Independence Day.  Maybe I should call it the most disappointing, because I'm a summer blockbuster nerd and I'll sit through almost anything, ignoring all plot holes.  But this was a fail from beginning to end.  The President of the US flying a crop duster?  Uh, no....

I also agree with PPs on Matrix and Forrest Gump.  On the latter, everyone swore I'd love it just like everyone else.  Everyone was wrong. 

I also loathed this comedy called What About Bob?  I tried 3 times and lasted less than 15 minutes.

Oh, and on recent ones, it has to be Carnage with Jodie Foster, who I love.  But it was too strange for words.

I DESPISED What About Bob. The rest of my family loved it, so it became a "family favorite". I can't count how many times I had to sit through this movie and try to entertain myself. Ground Hog Day was the same way. Everyone else seemed to love and think it was hilarious and for me it was like watching paint dry.

I truly believe I am the only person on earth who is completely 'meh' about The Princess Bride.

I also read the Goldman novel, and if anything I dislike it even more.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: KenveeB on April 06, 2013, 08:03:41 AM
I present the Nicholas Cage remake of The Wicker Man.   The 1973 original had the incomparable Christopher Lee and was all Shirley Jackson-ish shock.  Nicholas Cage managed to make the story funny.

Edward Woodward (as the policeman) was believably earnest and rigid in his beliefs, wanting to do the right thing.  Nick Cage was just bumbling and clueless. 

Has anyone seen The Wicker Tree?

Yes. It wasn't the comedic farce of the remake, but it wasn't nearly the classic of Wicker Man either. Christopher Lee had a tiny cameo, which was nice to see.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Diane AKA Traska on April 06, 2013, 09:00:39 AM
Independence Day.  Maybe I should call it the most disappointing, because I'm a summer blockbuster nerd and I'll sit through almost anything, ignoring all plot holes.  But this was a fail from beginning to end.  The President of the US flying a crop duster?  Uh, no....

I also agree with PPs on Matrix and Forrest Gump.  On the latter, everyone swore I'd love it just like everyone else.  Everyone was wrong. 

I also loathed this comedy called What About Bob?  I tried 3 times and lasted less than 15 minutes.

Oh, and on recent ones, it has to be Carnage with Jodie Foster, who I love.  But it was too strange for words.

I DESPISED What About Bob. The rest of my family loved it, so it became a "family favorite". I can't count how many times I had to sit through this movie and try to entertain myself. Ground Hog Day was the same way. Everyone else seemed to love and think it was hilarious and for me it was like watching paint dry.

I truly believe I am the only person on earth who is completely 'meh' about The Princess Bride.

I also read the Goldman novel, and if anything I dislike it even more.

I like the movie (I can't say I love it, but I do like it quite a bit), but I couldn't even finish the book.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Thipu1 on April 06, 2013, 09:46:47 AM
There was one in the middle 1980s. I don't remember the name but the reviews weren't bad. 

Most of it took place in a research facility under the sea.  It was extremely suspenseful and enjoyable to watch but...

...it didn't have an end. It just sort of went, 'phttt' and that was it.

Talk about feeling cheated!  It's a good thing the movie didn't let out during dog walking time because the whole audience came out in the mood to kick puppies. 

Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: SCAJAfamily on April 06, 2013, 10:23:23 AM
In honor of Roger Ebert, 10 movies he really hated:

http://www.mentalfloss.com/article/49913/10-movies-roger-ebert-really-hated
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Editeer on April 06, 2013, 12:18:08 PM


I truly believe I am the only person on earth who is completely 'meh' about The Princess Bride.



You're not alone!
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: ladyknight1 on April 06, 2013, 12:24:10 PM
We love The Princess Bride and quote it often!
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Sirius on April 06, 2013, 01:01:32 PM
I'll add another Nicholas Cage movie to the mix:  Raising Arizona.

I watched this because my sister liked it.  What a dumb movie.

Edited to add:  "Terms of Endearment" went on for four hours longer than it should have.  What?  It was only 2.5 or 3 hours long?  Enough said.  The best part:  I saw it with my mom, who had quite a bit to say about it.  We were in a virtually empty theater, and Mom's running commentary got way more laughs than the movie did.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Kaora on April 06, 2013, 01:03:27 PM
Come to think of it, The Chronicles of Riddick.  I one tried watching it, at an ex's advice.  I think I came down with a bad fever in the beginning of the movie and just didn't feel great, so I can't think of the movie without feeling horribly ill.  Maybe I'll give it another try one of these years...
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: booklover03 on April 06, 2013, 01:22:52 PM
Independence Day.  Maybe I should call it the most disappointing, because I'm a summer blockbuster nerd and I'll sit through almost anything, ignoring all plot holes.  But this was a fail from beginning to end.  The President of the US flying a crop duster?  Uh, no....

I also agree with PPs on Matrix and Forrest Gump.  On the latter, everyone swore I'd love it just like everyone else.  Everyone was wrong. 

I also loathed this comedy called What About Bob?  I tried 3 times and lasted less than 15 minutes.

Oh, and on recent ones, it has to be Carnage with Jodie Foster, who I love.  But it was too strange for words.

I DESPISED What About Bob. The rest of my family loved it, so it became a "family favorite". I can't count how many times I had to sit through this movie and try to entertain myself. Ground Hog Day was the same way. Everyone else seemed to love and think it was hilarious and for me it was like watching paint dry.

I truly believe I am the only person on earth who is completely 'meh' about The Princess Bride.

I also read the Goldman novel, and if anything I dislike it even more.


I don't like The Princess Bride, either. My family LOVES it. It has a few funny one liners, but on the whole I think it's really overrated.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Thipu1 on April 06, 2013, 01:37:16 PM


I truly believe I am the only person on earth who is completely 'meh' about The Princess Bride.



You're not alone!

I only recently saw 'The Princess Bride' and thought it was cute but nothing to write home about.  The casting was the best part, IMO. 
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Miss Tickle on April 06, 2013, 03:12:33 PM

Same thing with "Titanic".  I sat in the theatre lobby during the second half of the movie because the strobe light effects used as the ship sank made me sick, again with a throbbing migraine.


DH hated Titanic, and only refers to it as "Titanic Waste of Time and Money". Every single time.

I won't let him watch The Godfather anymore.  I've threatened to divorce him. If I hear it in the other room I will ask "Is that the Godfather?" and he'll change the channel before I can come check.

There are only so many times you can watch one movie before you lose your mind (says the woman with no children).
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: ladyknight1 on April 06, 2013, 04:39:54 PM
DH and DS have certain movies they watch when I am away. War movies mainly.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Reika on April 06, 2013, 07:25:03 PM
Unfortunately, I saw Batman and Robin in the theater. I was cringing within the first 5 minutes, mom loved it.

Then when Waterworld came out I was spared shelling the money out for the theater, but mom rented it. Fell in love with the movie so she bought her own copy. And watched it incessantly. As in at least once a day, sometimes more if there wasn't anything on tv she wanted to watch. We lived in a very tiny apartment at the time, so even when I was at my computer with my headphones on, I could still hear it.

When the tape failed (this was the days before dvds, thank goodness) from being watched so much, I did an internal happy dance. When there weren't any copies available in the local stores, I did a major happy dance in the bathroom when we got home.

Because of Waterworld, I refuse to watch anything with Costner in it. It's not that I dislike him as an actor, I think he's kinda meh, but not awful. It's just that I associate him with what I consider mental torture and start twitching if I even hear his voice.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: helixa on April 06, 2013, 07:51:03 PM
In 1999 there was a pretty bad movie about intelligent altered sharks which was awful enough to be sort of funny.

I remember loving the princess bride, but it was done 25 years ago so tastes can change, I'm not sure how much I'd like it now though.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: TexasRanger on April 07, 2013, 01:46:31 PM
I'm not a big fan of most movies, so my list is kinda long.

Band of the Hand: Juvenile delinquents are trained in the Florida swamps by a Vietnam vet.
Cameron's Closet: Boy with telepathic powers accidentally summons a demon/ancient evil.
Drag Me To Hell: Woman is cursed by a gypsy.
Ted
Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
The Avengers
Battleship
Lovely Molly
Dark Shadows 2012
Any Twilight, Hostel, or Saw movies. 



Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Kaora on April 07, 2013, 02:01:09 PM
On the subject of fake history, Disney's Pocahontas.

But without it, they wouldn't have gotten away with so much in The Lion King, one of my favorite films ever. :P Things like Timon and Pumbaa's drag scene, a throw it in moment after adlibbing by Timon's VA, and all the jokes could be done because Disney was considering Pocahontas to be their next, big hit. :)

I'm a kid at heart :)
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: magicdomino on April 08, 2013, 10:07:55 AM
In honor of Roger Ebert, 10 movies he really hated:

http://www.mentalfloss.com/article/49913/10-movies-roger-ebert-really-hated

Loved the last review:

Quote
Freddy Got Fingered, zero stars. This movie doesn't scrape the bottom of the barrel. This movie isn't the bottom of the barrel. This movie isn't below the bottom of the barrel. This movie doesn't deserve to be mentioned in the same sentence with barrels.
 
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Twik on April 08, 2013, 10:16:19 AM
Unfortunately, I saw Batman and Robin in the theater. I was cringing within the first 5 minutes, mom loved it.

Then when Waterworld came out I was spared shelling the money out for the theater, but mom rented it. Fell in love with the movie so she bought her own copy. And watched it incessantly....

Your mother is at least an independent thinker!  ;D
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Twik on April 08, 2013, 10:17:16 AM
I won't let him watch The Godfather anymore.  I've threatened to divorce him. If I hear it in the other room I will ask "Is that the Godfather?" and he'll change the channel before I can come check.

There are only so many times you can watch one movie before you lose your mind (says the woman with no children).

For my father, it was "The Third Man".

My mother still flinches at the sound of zither music....
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Grancalla on April 08, 2013, 12:16:43 PM
Independence Day.  Maybe I should call it the most disappointing, because I'm a summer blockbuster nerd and I'll sit through almost anything, ignoring all plot holes.  But this was a fail from beginning to end.  The President of the US flying a crop duster?  Uh, no....

I also agree with PPs on Matrix and Forrest Gump.  On the latter, everyone swore I'd love it just like everyone else.  Everyone was wrong. 

I also loathed this comedy called What About Bob?  I tried 3 times and lasted less than 15 minutes.

Oh, and on recent ones, it has to be Carnage with Jodie Foster, who I love.  But it was too strange for words.

I DESPISED What About Bob. The rest of my family loved it, so it became a "family favorite". I can't count how many times I had to sit through this movie and try to entertain myself. Ground Hog Day was the same way. Everyone else seemed to love and think it was hilarious and for me it was like watching paint dry.

Glad I'm not the only one. Everyone else in my family thought it was cute and funny. It made me want to throw things and strangle Bob with them.

Does anyone remember a movie called "The Peanut Butter Solution"? I saw this in a theather when I was little. I liked pretty much anything, at that age, but that just struck me as bad and boring.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Diane AKA Traska on April 08, 2013, 12:24:01 PM
Independence Day.  Maybe I should call it the most disappointing, because I'm a summer blockbuster nerd and I'll sit through almost anything, ignoring all plot holes.  But this was a fail from beginning to end.  The President of the US flying a crop duster?  Uh, no....

I also agree with PPs on Matrix and Forrest Gump.  On the latter, everyone swore I'd love it just like everyone else.  Everyone was wrong. 

I also loathed this comedy called What About Bob?  I tried 3 times and lasted less than 15 minutes.

Oh, and on recent ones, it has to be Carnage with Jodie Foster, who I love.  But it was too strange for words.

I DESPISED What About Bob. The rest of my family loved it, so it became a "family favorite". I can't count how many times I had to sit through this movie and try to entertain myself. Ground Hog Day was the same way. Everyone else seemed to love and think it was hilarious and for me it was like watching paint dry.

Glad I'm not the only one. Everyone else in my family thought it was cute and funny. It made me want to throw things and strangle Bob with them.

Does anyone remember a movie called "The Peanut Butter Solution"? I saw this in a theather when I was little. I liked pretty much anything, at that age, but that just struck me as bad and boring.

Wait.  Isn't that everyone's reaction to Bill Murray in *any* movie, though?
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Kiara on April 08, 2013, 12:26:21 PM
In honor of Roger Ebert, 10 movies he really hated:

http://www.mentalfloss.com/article/49913/10-movies-roger-ebert-really-hated

Loved the last review:

Quote
Freddy Got Fingered, zero stars. This movie doesn't scrape the bottom of the barrel. This movie isn't the bottom of the barrel. This movie isn't below the bottom of the barrel. This movie doesn't deserve to be mentioned in the same sentence with barrels.
 

And once again I think we need a like button on here.....
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Grancalla on April 08, 2013, 01:44:07 PM
Independence Day.  Maybe I should call it the most disappointing, because I'm a summer blockbuster nerd and I'll sit through almost anything, ignoring all plot holes.  But this was a fail from beginning to end.  The President of the US flying a crop duster?  Uh, no....

I also agree with PPs on Matrix and Forrest Gump.  On the latter, everyone swore I'd love it just like everyone else.  Everyone was wrong. 

I also loathed this comedy called What About Bob?  I tried 3 times and lasted less than 15 minutes.

Oh, and on recent ones, it has to be Carnage with Jodie Foster, who I love.  But it was too strange for words.

I DESPISED What About Bob. The rest of my family loved it, so it became a "family favorite". I can't count how many times I had to sit through this movie and try to entertain myself. Ground Hog Day was the same way. Everyone else seemed to love and think it was hilarious and for me it was like watching paint dry.

Glad I'm not the only one. Everyone else in my family thought it was cute and funny. It made me want to throw things and strangle Bob with them.

Does anyone remember a movie called "The Peanut Butter Solution"? I saw this in a theather when I was little. I liked pretty much anything, at that age, but that just struck me as bad and boring.

Wait.  Isn't that everyone's reaction to Bill Murray in *any* movie, though?

Goodness, you're right. But in What About Bob's case, my problem was that we were supposed to be rooting for Bob to succeed as he basically ruined another character's life for no reason that I ever understood. Maybe I just didn't get it.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Diane AKA Traska on April 08, 2013, 01:57:40 PM
Independence Day.  Maybe I should call it the most disappointing, because I'm a summer blockbuster nerd and I'll sit through almost anything, ignoring all plot holes.  But this was a fail from beginning to end.  The President of the US flying a crop duster?  Uh, no....

I also agree with PPs on Matrix and Forrest Gump.  On the latter, everyone swore I'd love it just like everyone else.  Everyone was wrong. 

I also loathed this comedy called What About Bob?  I tried 3 times and lasted less than 15 minutes.

Oh, and on recent ones, it has to be Carnage with Jodie Foster, who I love.  But it was too strange for words.

I DESPISED What About Bob. The rest of my family loved it, so it became a "family favorite". I can't count how many times I had to sit through this movie and try to entertain myself. Ground Hog Day was the same way. Everyone else seemed to love and think it was hilarious and for me it was like watching paint dry.

Glad I'm not the only one. Everyone else in my family thought it was cute and funny. It made me want to throw things and strangle Bob with them.

Does anyone remember a movie called "The Peanut Butter Solution"? I saw this in a theather when I was little. I liked pretty much anything, at that age, but that just struck me as bad and boring.

Wait.  Isn't that everyone's reaction to Bill Murray in *any* movie, though?

Goodness, you're right. But in What About Bob's case, my problem was that we were supposed to be rooting for Bob to succeed as he basically ruined another character's life for no reason that I ever understood. Maybe I just didn't get it.

To be fair, Dreyfus' character was an insufferable toad with an annoying laugh (oh wait, that's Dreyfus) who was far more interested in how he appeared to the public than how his family actually functioned.  He was as messed up in *private* as Bob was in *public*.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: LazyDaisy on April 08, 2013, 02:25:43 PM
Independence Day.  Maybe I should call it the most disappointing, because I'm a summer blockbuster nerd and I'll sit through almost anything, ignoring all plot holes.  But this was a fail from beginning to end.  The President of the US flying a crop duster?  Uh, no....

I also agree with PPs on Matrix and Forrest Gump.  On the latter, everyone swore I'd love it just like everyone else.  Everyone was wrong. 

I also loathed this comedy called What About Bob?  I tried 3 times and lasted less than 15 minutes.

Oh, and on recent ones, it has to be Carnage with Jodie Foster, who I love.  But it was too strange for words.

I DESPISED What About Bob. The rest of my family loved it, so it became a "family favorite". I can't count how many times I had to sit through this movie and try to entertain myself. Ground Hog Day was the same way. Everyone else seemed to love and think it was hilarious and for me it was like watching paint dry.

Glad I'm not the only one. Everyone else in my family thought it was cute and funny. It made me want to throw things and strangle Bob with them.

Does anyone remember a movie called "The Peanut Butter Solution"? I saw this in a theather when I was little. I liked pretty much anything, at that age, but that just struck me as bad and boring.

Wait.  Isn't that everyone's reaction to Bill Murray in *any* movie, though?

Goodness, you're right. But in What About Bob's case, my problem was that we were supposed to be rooting for Bob to succeed as he basically ruined another character's life for no reason that I ever understood. Maybe I just didn't get it.

To be fair, Dreyfus' character was an insufferable toad with an annoying laugh (oh wait, that's Dreyfus) who was far more interested in how he appeared to the public than how his family actually functioned.  He was as messed up in *private* as Bob was in *public*.
^ Agreed, although I would go a step further. That Bob "caused" the Dreyfus character to have a nervous breakdown is somewhat debatable -- he in some ways saved each of the dysfunctional family members. Bob was a control freak and narcissist but so was Dreyfus' character who alternately micromanaged and then ignored his family. Because of all of Bob's quirks, everyone started to pay more attention to him than they did to the doctor -- absolute h*ell for a narcissist. The doctor finally had a breakdown because he met a person that refused to be controlled or ignored easily at his whim -- in other words he met himself. By "curing" Bob, the doctor becomes the patient and returns to being the center of attention. So in the end they've switched places.

I liked the movie, but I don't think that the idea was to necessarily like either of the lead characters. Just laugh at them for their bizarre dance to see who could get the most attention. I imagine a sequel set 10 years into the future where Bob is now the esteemed arrogant psychologist and Dreyfus is a nutty patient that drives him insane...and they switch places again.

It's kind of like asking the question, what happens when an irresistible force meets an immovable object?
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Virg on April 08, 2013, 02:37:30 PM
Mikayla wrote:

"Independence Day.  Maybe I should call it the most disappointing, because I'm a summer blockbuster nerd and I'll sit through almost anything, ignoring all plot holes.  But this was a fail from beginning to end.  The President of the US flying a crop duster?  Uh, no..."

There were many, many chunks of fail lobbed into this movie, but this isn't one of them.  The only time the president piloted a plane, it was a combat fighter, and since his backstory was a war hero (specifically a fighter pilot) that fit with the plot.  For my part, the fighter sequences were one of the few parts of the film that passed my suspension of disbelief, because they weren't too far away from reality, at least not in movie terms.

Editeer wrote:

"Of the better-known movies that I can remember, Independence Day was one of the worst. It was an action picture with no action. It was a blockbuster that was simply . . . boring. The alien spaceship (or whatever it was) lands on the freeway, and everyone gets out of their cars, stands there, and screams. The spaceship makes the road shake. Everybody stands by their cars and screams. Road shakes. Big noise. Screams. The hero saves the day by  . . . typing on a keyboard (to do something completely stupid from a technical POV)."

Are you sure that was Independence Day?  It's true that there were a few flash scenes of Jeff Goldblum typing but the synopsis you wrote doesn't fit the movie very well at all (for one thing, no alien ship ever landed anywhere in the whole film unless you're counting them crashing when the human counterattack starts working).

Reika wrote:

"Because of Waterworld, I refuse to watch anything with Costner in it. It's not that I dislike him as an actor, I think he's kinda meh, but not awful. It's just that I associate him with what I consider mental torture and start twitching if I even hear his voice."

That's too bad.  Field of Dreams was a really good film.

Virg
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Reika on April 08, 2013, 02:40:07 PM

Reika wrote:

"Because of Waterworld, I refuse to watch anything with Costner in it. It's not that I dislike him as an actor, I think he's kinda meh, but not awful. It's just that I associate him with what I consider mental torture and start twitching if I even hear his voice."

That's too bad.  Field of Dreams was a really good film.

Virg

Fortunately, I saw that long before Waterworld. It was quite good, but I can't face it again.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Slartibartfast on April 08, 2013, 02:46:30 PM

I liked the movie, but I don't think that the idea was to necessarily like either of the lead characters. Just laugh at them for their bizarre dance to see who could get the most attention. I imagine a sequel set 10 years into the future where Bob is now the esteemed arrogant psychologist and Dreyfus is a nutty patient that drives him insane...and they switch places again.


It came off to me as "Let's laugh at this guy because he has a mental illness!" - granted, the movie's pretty old by now, but I think that's the part that bothers me the most.  (As with any movies with that general setup - "Let's laugh at Napoleon Dynamite because he's a social reject!"  "Let's laugh at how the blind guy and the deaf guy could have totally caught that bad guy if they had been sighted and had normal hearing!")
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Diane AKA Traska on April 08, 2013, 02:52:35 PM

I liked the movie, but I don't think that the idea was to necessarily like either of the lead characters. Just laugh at them for their bizarre dance to see who could get the most attention. I imagine a sequel set 10 years into the future where Bob is now the esteemed arrogant psychologist and Dreyfus is a nutty patient that drives him insane...and they switch places again.


It came off to me as "Let's laugh at this guy because he has a mental illness!" - granted, the movie's pretty old by now, but I think that's the part that bothers me the most.  (As with any movies with that general setup - "Let's laugh at Napoleon Dynamite because he's a social reject!"  "Let's laugh at how the blind guy and the deaf guy could have totally caught that bad guy if they had been sighted and had normal hearing!")

+1 for shout out to, I believe, See No Evil, Hear No Evil.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: artk2002 on April 08, 2013, 02:56:39 PM

Reika wrote:

"Because of Waterworld, I refuse to watch anything with Costner in it. It's not that I dislike him as an actor, I think he's kinda meh, but not awful. It's just that I associate him with what I consider mental torture and start twitching if I even hear his voice."

That's too bad.  Field of Dreams was a really good film.

Virg

Fortunately, I saw that long before Waterworld. It was quite good, but I can't face it again.

FoD is one of the few Costner movies that I can stand. Possibly because his best emotion is "dazed and confused."

As an aside, we have an actual costume from Waterworld -- won it at a raffle at Western Costume. My son wore it for Hallowe'en a couple of years ago.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Miss Misery on April 08, 2013, 03:00:01 PM

I truly believe I am the only person on earth who is completely 'meh' about The Princess Bride.



No, you're not. I'm 'meh' over, you're 'meh' over it, we can be 'meh' over it together!  :P

It's not a terrible movie, but I really don't get the 25+ years broo-ha-ha over it.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Sara Crewe on April 08, 2013, 03:03:54 PM
The Shadow with Alec Baldwin.

They were obviously going for 'D*ck Tracy' vibe but it was just bad.

Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Slartibartfast on April 08, 2013, 03:25:22 PM

I liked the movie, but I don't think that the idea was to necessarily like either of the lead characters. Just laugh at them for their bizarre dance to see who could get the most attention. I imagine a sequel set 10 years into the future where Bob is now the esteemed arrogant psychologist and Dreyfus is a nutty patient that drives him insane...and they switch places again.


It came off to me as "Let's laugh at this guy because he has a mental illness!" - granted, the movie's pretty old by now, but I think that's the part that bothers me the most.  (As with any movies with that general setup - "Let's laugh at Napoleon Dynamite because he's a social reject!"  "Let's laugh at how the blind guy and the deaf guy could have totally caught that bad guy if they had been sighted and had normal hearing!")

+1 for shout out to, I believe, See No Evil, Hear No Evil.

That's the one  :)  I actually kind of liked it, but the humor based around the main characters' disabilities really bothered me.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: violinp on April 08, 2013, 03:28:08 PM
The Shadow with Alec Baldwin.

They were obviously going for 'D*ck Tracy' vibe but it was just bad.

The first problem was casting Alec Baldwin.  :P
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Elisabunny on April 08, 2013, 03:40:20 PM
The Shadow with Alec Baldwin.

They were obviously going for 'D*ck Tracy' vibe but it was just bad.

The first problem was casting Alec Baldwin.  :P

That one really bugged me because IIRC Harlen Ellison begged for years to write the script.  If the copyright owners had let him, the movie might have actually been good.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Hillia on April 08, 2013, 04:06:55 PM

I truly believe I am the only person on earth who is completely 'meh' about The Princess Bride.


No, I'm right there with you.  Not bad, just...meh.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: LazyDaisy on April 08, 2013, 04:30:38 PM

I liked the movie, but I don't think that the idea was to necessarily like either of the lead characters. Just laugh at them for their bizarre dance to see who could get the most attention. I imagine a sequel set 10 years into the future where Bob is now the esteemed arrogant psychologist and Dreyfus is a nutty patient that drives him insane...and they switch places again.


It came off to me as "Let's laugh at this guy because he has a mental illness!" - granted, the movie's pretty old by now, but I think that's the part that bothers me the most.  (As with any movies with that general setup - "Let's laugh at Napoleon Dynamite because he's a social reject!"  "Let's laugh at how the blind guy and the deaf guy could have totally caught that bad guy if they had been sighted and had normal hearing!")
I didn't get the same impression they were making fun of the mentally ill. I guess to me the movie was making fun of people who pretend to have mental illnesses -- i.e. drama queens. That's not quite so offensive in my book. He was afraid of change, common life situations, illness, and death; he'd get attached to pets and people; he's self-centered. Bob could quite easily conquer these fears when he decided to, which means he wasn't really mentally ill, just immature, which is probably why the children in the movie were especially fond of him.

For See No Evil, Hear No Evil -- granted Richard Prior made a career of being offensive, kind of like Mel Brooks -- but why couldn't a deaf person partnered with a blind person solve a crime? Sure it was a screw-ball comedy but I'd call them role models  >:D ...well, OK, sort of.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Reika on April 08, 2013, 10:14:26 PM

FoD is one of the few Costner movies that I can stand. Possibly because his best emotion is "dazed and confused."

*snickers* I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks that. I don't think he's a bad actor, but sometimes I think he's a bit overrated.

Quote
As an aside, we have an actual costume from Waterworld -- won it at a raffle at Western Costume. My son wore it for Hallowe'en a couple of years ago.

*twitches*

Oh, another so bad it's hysterically funny is the movie  Dark Star (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0069945/?ref_=sr_1). I think it was meant to be a spoof on sci-fi in general, but it so bad it was funny and not in the way the makers intended.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: snowdragon on April 08, 2013, 10:30:43 PM
The Wicker Man

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Wicker_Man_%281973_film%29
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Editeer on April 08, 2013, 10:50:44 PM


Editeer wrote:

"Of the better-known movies that I can remember, Independence Day was one of the worst. It was an action picture with no action. It was a blockbuster that was simply . . . boring. The alien spaceship (or whatever it was) lands on the freeway, and everyone gets out of their cars, stands there, and screams. The spaceship makes the road shake. Everybody stands by their cars and screams. Road shakes. Big noise. Screams. The hero saves the day by  . . . typing on a keyboard (to do something completely stupid from a technical POV)."

Are you sure that was Independence Day?  It's true that there were a few flash scenes of Jeff Goldblum typing but the synopsis you wrote doesn't fit the movie very well at all (for one thing, no alien ship ever landed anywhere in the whole film unless you're counting them crashing when the human counterattack starts working).



I meant when the alien ships were in the sky attacking (not landing). But maybe I'm remembering a different movie, or maybe I slept through some of it?
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Last_Dance on April 09, 2013, 02:42:13 AM

It's not a terrible movie, but I really don't get the 25+ years broo-ha-ha over it.

Self-perpetrating nostalgia?
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: crankycat on April 09, 2013, 08:43:53 AM
Buffalo '66 - I actually had to look up the plot summary for this movie.  All that I remembered is that the plot was thin, it was poorly written and boring, and at the time wished I could have left the theater. 
From Dusk till Dawn - Oh my, what a disjointed, violent movie.  They must have gotten green ooze and fake blood by the vat-full.  Ish.
Welcome to the Dollhouse and Napolean Dynamite - I was an awkward child/teen.  It made me uncomfortable watching the main characters' discomfort for fun.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on April 09, 2013, 08:50:49 AM
Oh man, I forgot "Welcome to the Dollhouse" and I just didn't get what the big deal was about Napoleon Dynamite.  It had it's funny moments but I wasn't dying with laughter like many others were.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: athersgeo on April 09, 2013, 09:44:16 AM
I have to admit, I tend to assume that if a film is labelled "comedy" I probably won't find it funny - and in the last twenty five years, I can't remember an instance where that thought's been wrong!

A new category: decent films with "who the heck thought that was a good idea" plots

Exhibit A: Seven Brides for Seven Brothers

The music is fun; the dancing is good; the plot is about kidnapping women and forcing them to marry you and the characters think the rape of the Sabine Women is a GOOD example. Wait. WHAT?!!!
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: LazyDaisy on April 09, 2013, 10:34:05 AM
I have to admit, I tend to assume that if a film is labelled "comedy" I probably won't find it funny - and in the last twenty five years, I can't remember an instance where that thought's been wrong!

A new category: decent films with "who the heck thought that was a good idea" plots

Exhibit A: Seven Brides for Seven Brothers

The music is fun; the dancing is good; the plot is about kidnapping women and forcing them to marry you and the characters think the rape of the Sabine Women is a GOOD example. Wait. WHAT?!!!

I also remember having a class on biblical history or something in college that said the word "rape" meant something different in latin -- more like kidnap rather than specifically s*xual assault. In that way the movie does follow the biblical story -- the Sabine women were never assaulted and neither were the girls in the movie, and when they were "rescued" they refused to return home.

Quite a few of the romantic type movies if done in real life would result in prison time, I think. If I remember correctly, the brothers didn't force the girls to marry them at all. When the brothers and fathers came to rescue the girls, they heard a baby crying -- Millie's baby with her husband, the oldest brother, Adam. When asked whose baby it was, all the girls paused and then answered it was theirs -- why? if the fathers believed their daughters had had... um relations ... with the brothers, they would force the brothers into marriage (shotgun wedding) -- which is what the girls wanted after all.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: athersgeo on April 09, 2013, 10:43:45 AM
I have to admit, I tend to assume that if a film is labelled "comedy" I probably won't find it funny - and in the last twenty five years, I can't remember an instance where that thought's been wrong!

A new category: decent films with "who the heck thought that was a good idea" plots

Exhibit A: Seven Brides for Seven Brothers

The music is fun; the dancing is good; the plot is about kidnapping women and forcing them to marry you and the characters think the rape of the Sabine Women is a GOOD example. Wait. WHAT?!!!

I also remember having a class on biblical history or something in college that said the word "rape" meant something different in latin -- more like kidnap rather than specifically s*xual assault. In that way the movie does follow the biblical story -- the Sabine women were never assaulted and neither were the girls in the movie, and when they were "rescued" they refused to return home.

I'm aware of the Sabine women not necessarily having been assaulted (I'm a part-time classicist!), but it's still not really a story to be emulated, and as for the women not wanting to be rescued, that just makes me think "Stockholm syndrome", which still makes it an extremely "wait WHAT?!" plot as far as I'm concerned.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: nuit93 on April 09, 2013, 10:46:05 AM
I have to admit, I tend to assume that if a film is labelled "comedy" I probably won't find it funny - and in the last twenty five years, I can't remember an instance where that thought's been wrong!

A new category: decent films with "who the heck thought that was a good idea" plots

Exhibit A: Seven Brides for Seven Brothers

The music is fun; the dancing is good; the plot is about kidnapping women and forcing them to marry you and the characters think the rape of the Sabine Women is a GOOD example. Wait. WHAT?!!!

I also remember having a class on biblical history or something in college that said the word "rape" meant something different in latin -- more like kidnap rather than specifically s*xual assault. In that way the movie does follow the biblical story -- the Sabine women were never assaulted and neither were the girls in the movie, and when they were "rescued" they refused to return home.

I'm aware of the Sabine women not necessarily having been assaulted (I'm a part-time classicist!), but it's still not really a story to be emulated, and as for the women not wanting to be rescued, that just makes me think "Stockholm syndrome", which still makes it an extremely "wait WHAT?!" plot as far as I'm concerned.

Yeah, the whole plot of that movie made me twitchy too.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Elisabunny on April 09, 2013, 11:26:56 AM
I have to admit, I tend to assume that if a film is labelled "comedy" I probably won't find it funny - and in the last twenty five years, I can't remember an instance where that thought's been wrong!

A new category: decent films with "who the heck thought that was a good idea" plots

Exhibit A: Seven Brides for Seven Brothers

The music is fun; the dancing is good; the plot is about kidnapping women and forcing them to marry you and the characters think the rape of the Sabine Women is a GOOD example. Wait. WHAT?!!!

I also remember having a class on biblical history or something in college that said the word "rape" meant something different in latin -- more like kidnap rather than specifically s*xual assault. In that way the movie does follow the biblical story -- the Sabine women were never assaulted and neither were the girls in the movie, and when they were "rescued" they refused to return home.

I'm aware of the Sabine women not necessarily having been assaulted (I'm a part-time classicist!), but it's still not really a story to be emulated, and as for the women not wanting to be rescued, that just makes me think "Stockholm syndrome", which still makes it an extremely "wait WHAT?!" plot as far as I'm concerned.

Yeah, the whole plot of that movie made me twitchy too.

I think it only works because it's already been established that the brothers aren't bad, just really, really clueless.  Once Millie got through lecturing them, they were very penitent.  Plus, the girls already liked them.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: KimberlyM on April 09, 2013, 12:02:57 PM
On from Dusk Till Dawn:  I was watching that with my ex sister in law.  I got up to get something to eat and when I came back I thought she had changed movies or something...it was a normal (albeit boring) movie when I left the room and when I came back they're in the middle of a horribly violent bar brawl with the undead...just plain weird! 
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: mharbourgirl on April 09, 2013, 12:26:43 PM
Oh man, my college roommates tried to get me to watch 'From Dusk til Dawn' - knowing full well my incredibly intense abhorrence of gore.  "Hey, there's this cool vampire movie on, want to watch it?"  I walked in at one of the goriest scenes in the movie and promptly bolted for the bathroom to barf.  It's still not the worse movie I've ever seen simply because I haven't actually seen more than 20 seconds of it.

Award for worst movie ever probably goes to 'Ghosts of Mars'.  DH and I watched it because, well, we'll watch anything with Ice Cube in it at least once, and I'm desperately in love with Jason Statham. :)  O..M..G.  We expected it to be cheesy, just because nobody seems to know how to make a decent sci-fi movie.  It quickly turned into a gratuitous gore-fest and the plot, such as it was, resembled the worst bits of, oh, a SAW movie or crap like that.

Honourable mentions go to Event Horizon, The Core, and that 'Volcano in L.A.' movie, whatever it was called.  Or any movie JJAbrams had his sticky, science-ignorant fingers on.

Do made-for-TV-movies count here?  Because they're all mostly terrible, but 'Doomsday Prophecy' is just awful.  The lead actress looks like a young Laura Dern, and she's not bad, but the writing and the plot were just ridiculous.

*sigh* I have to settle for fun, cheesy sci-fi movies if I want to watch anything at all - I adore 'Fifth Element' and 'Lost in Space', for example (Gary Oldman helps).  Someone make a movie from Rendezvous With Rama, or maybe The Stainless Steel Rat.  Just don't screw it up, please?
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Diane AKA Traska on April 09, 2013, 12:53:05 PM
Oh man, my college roommates tried to get me to watch 'From Dusk til Dawn' - knowing full well my incredibly intense abhorrence of gore.  "Hey, there's this cool vampire movie on, want to watch it?"  I walked in at one of the goriest scenes in the movie and promptly bolted for the bathroom to barf.  It's still not the worse movie I've ever seen simply because I haven't actually seen more than 20 seconds of it.

Award for worst movie ever probably goes to 'Ghosts of Mars'.  DH and I watched it because, well, we'll watch anything with Ice Cube in it at least once, and I'm desperately in love with Jason Statham. :)  O..M..G.  We expected it to be cheesy, just because nobody seems to know how to make a decent sci-fi movie.  It quickly turned into a gratuitous gore-fest and the plot, such as it was, resembled the worst bits of, oh, a SAW movie or crap like that.

Honourable mentions go to Event Horizon, The Core, and that 'Volcano in L.A.' movie, whatever it was called.  Or any movie JJAbrams had his sticky, science-ignorant fingers on.

Do made-for-TV-movies count here?  Because they're all mostly terrible, but 'Doomsday Prophecy' is just awful.  The lead actress looks like a young Laura Dern, and she's not bad, but the writing and the plot were just ridiculous.

*sigh* I have to settle for fun, cheesy sci-fi movies if I want to watch anything at all - I adore 'Fifth Element' and 'Lost in Space', for example (Gary Oldman helps).  Someone make a movie from Rendezvous With Rama, or maybe The Stainless Steel Rat.  Just don't screw it up, please?

I loved Event Horizon, but because of some of the more sanguine moments, I can't watch it too often.

The Core and Volcano are guilty, "shut my brain off and curl up" flicks.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Firecat on April 09, 2013, 12:56:34 PM
Oh man, my college roommates tried to get me to watch 'From Dusk til Dawn' - knowing full well my incredibly intense abhorrence of gore.  "Hey, there's this cool vampire movie on, want to watch it?"  I walked in at one of the goriest scenes in the movie and promptly bolted for the bathroom to barf.  It's still not the worse movie I've ever seen simply because I haven't actually seen more than 20 seconds of it.

Award for worst movie ever probably goes to 'Ghosts of Mars'.  DH and I watched it because, well, we'll watch anything with Ice Cube in it at least once, and I'm desperately in love with Jason Statham. :)  O..M..G.  We expected it to be cheesy, just because nobody seems to know how to make a decent sci-fi movie.  It quickly turned into a gratuitous gore-fest and the plot, such as it was, resembled the worst bits of, oh, a SAW movie or crap like that.

Honourable mentions go to Event Horizon, The Core, and that 'Volcano in L.A.' movie, whatever it was called.  Or any movie JJAbrams had his sticky, science-ignorant fingers on.

Do made-for-TV-movies count here?  Because they're all mostly terrible, but 'Doomsday Prophecy' is just awful.  The lead actress looks like a young Laura Dern, and she's not bad, but the writing and the plot were just ridiculous.

*sigh* I have to settle for fun, cheesy sci-fi movies if I want to watch anything at all - I adore 'Fifth Element' and 'Lost in Space', for example (Gary Oldman helps).  Someone make a movie from Rendezvous With Rama, or maybe The Stainless Steel Rat.  Just don't screw it up, please?

If you haven't seen them, try Forbidden Planet, and The Day the Earth Stood Still - the original, NOT the "remake."
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Virg on April 09, 2013, 02:04:09 PM
Reika wrote:

"Fortunately, I saw that long before Waterworld. It was quite good, but I can't face it again."

A college friend of mine with a lot of talent and a sick sense of humor did something that might rescue this for you.  He redubbed a number of Kevin Costner films using his own voice for Mr. Costner (including Field of Dreams) so that he spoke with a strong British accent.  The joke is funny, the overarching dig is very funny, and watching him say "No, it's Iowa" sounding like John Cleese is screamingly funny.

Virg
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: jedikaiti on April 09, 2013, 06:00:55 PM
Come to think of it, The Chronicles of Riddick.  I one tried watching it, at an ex's advice.  I think I came down with a bad fever in the beginning of the movie and just didn't feel great, so I can't think of the movie without feeling horribly ill.  Maybe I'll give it another try one of these years...

I love the Riddick movies, but I love action and I love Vin Diesel. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone who doesn't love both.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: jedikaiti on April 09, 2013, 06:09:34 PM
I have to admit, I tend to assume that if a film is labelled "comedy" I probably won't find it funny - and in the last twenty five years, I can't remember an instance where that thought's been wrong!

A new category: decent films with "who the heck thought that was a good idea" plots

Exhibit A: Seven Brides for Seven Brothers

The music is fun; the dancing is good; the plot is about kidnapping women and forcing them to marry you and the characters think the rape of the Sabine Women is a GOOD example. Wait. WHAT?!!!

I also remember having a class on biblical history or something in college that said the word "rape" meant something different in latin -- more like kidnap rather than specifically s*xual assault. In that way the movie does follow the biblical story -- the Sabine women were never assaulted and neither were the girls in the movie, and when they were "rescued" they refused to return home.

Quite a few of the romantic type movies if done in real life would result in prison time, I think. If I remember correctly, the brothers didn't force the girls to marry them at all. When the brothers and fathers came to rescue the girls, they heard a baby crying -- Millie's baby with her husband, the oldest brother, Adam. When asked whose baby it was, all the girls paused and then answered it was theirs -- why? if the fathers believed their daughters had had... um relations ... with the brothers, they would force the brothers into marriage (shotgun wedding) -- which is what the girls wanted after all.

I think you just described about 95% of all romantic comedies. I can't stand most rom-coms, I just sit there and yell at the girls to grow a spine and mace the loser, but of course in these movies, if they mace the criminally clueless idiot, they immediately apologize. Grrrrr. I usually find rom-coms neither romantic nor funny.

Actually, if it's a comedy and made in the US, I'll probably hate it. My sense of humor has decidedly British leanings.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: jedikaiti on April 09, 2013, 06:11:52 PM
Oh man, my college roommates tried to get me to watch 'From Dusk til Dawn' - knowing full well my incredibly intense abhorrence of gore.  "Hey, there's this cool vampire movie on, want to watch it?"  I walked in at one of the goriest scenes in the movie and promptly bolted for the bathroom to barf.  It's still not the worse movie I've ever seen simply because I haven't actually seen more than 20 seconds of it.

Award for worst movie ever probably goes to 'Ghosts of Mars'.  DH and I watched it because, well, we'll watch anything with Ice Cube in it at least once, and I'm desperately in love with Jason Statham. :)  O..M..G.  We expected it to be cheesy, just because nobody seems to know how to make a decent sci-fi movie.  It quickly turned into a gratuitous gore-fest and the plot, such as it was, resembled the worst bits of, oh, a SAW movie or crap like that.

Honourable mentions go to Event Horizon, The Core, and that 'Volcano in L.A.' movie, whatever it was called.  Or any movie JJAbrams had his sticky, science-ignorant fingers on.

Do made-for-TV-movies count here?  Because they're all mostly terrible, but 'Doomsday Prophecy' is just awful.  The lead actress looks like a young Laura Dern, and she's not bad, but the writing and the plot were just ridiculous.

*sigh* I have to settle for fun, cheesy sci-fi movies if I want to watch anything at all - I adore 'Fifth Element' and 'Lost in Space', for example (Gary Oldman helps).  Someone make a movie from Rendezvous With Rama, or maybe The Stainless Steel Rat.  Just don't screw it up, please?

I loved Event Horizon, but because of some of the more sanguine moments, I can't watch it too often.

The Core and Volcano are guilty, "shut my brain off and curl up" flicks.

I call Event Horizon "Creepy Things Sound Creepier in Latin." It's one of the few movies that can actually creep me out, and Sam Neil does creepy really rather well.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on April 09, 2013, 06:36:34 PM
I have to admit, I tend to assume that if a film is labelled "comedy" I probably won't find it funny - and in the last twenty five years, I can't remember an instance where that thought's been wrong!

A new category: decent films with "who the heck thought that was a good idea" plots

Exhibit A: Seven Brides for Seven Brothers

The music is fun; the dancing is good; the plot is about kidnapping women and forcing them to marry you and the characters think the rape of the Sabine Women is a GOOD example. Wait. WHAT?!!!

I also remember having a class on biblical history or something in college that said the word "rape" meant something different in latin -- more like kidnap rather than specifically s*xual assault. In that way the movie does follow the biblical story -- the Sabine women were never assaulted and neither were the girls in the movie, and when they were "rescued" they refused to return home.

Quite a few of the romantic type movies if done in real life would result in prison time, I think. If I remember correctly, the brothers didn't force the girls to marry them at all. When the brothers and fathers came to rescue the girls, they heard a baby crying -- Millie's baby with her husband, the oldest brother, Adam. When asked whose baby it was, all the girls paused and then answered it was theirs -- why? if the fathers believed their daughters had had... um relations ... with the brothers, they would force the brothers into marriage (shotgun wedding) -- which is what the girls wanted after all.

I think you just described about 95% of all romantic comedies. I can't stand most rom-coms, I just sit there and yell at the girls to grow a spine and mace the loser, but of course in these movies, if they mace the criminally clueless idiot, they immediately apologize. Grrrrr. I usually find rom-coms neither romantic nor funny.

Actually, if it's a comedy and made in the US, I'll probably hate it. My sense of humor has decidedly British leanings.

I used to really like Rom Coms but just don't like them as much as I used to because of that.  In fact, the two rom coms I still like are While You Were Sleeping and Love Actually.  The first because I just enjoy Sandra Bullock and the second because I enjoy the British humor and many of the actors. 
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: violinp on April 09, 2013, 06:58:05 PM
Maybe this isn't the worst movie I ever saw, but it's the best movie I never want to see again: Quills. It has Geoffrey Rush, Joaquin Phoenix, Kate Winslet, Stephen Moyer...how could it possibly go bad?

Oh, wait. It's a movie about the Marquis de Sade, and Geoffrey Rush is playing him. The Marquis is in a mental institution run by a priest (played by Joaquin Phoenix), and Kate Winslet is a laundress who helps the Marquis smuggle his perverted stories out to be published. The summary of the plot is totally NSF work or the squeamish, but I will provide a link to those who want to know and have iron stomachs: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0180073/synopsis?ref_=tt_stry_pl  (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0180073/synopsis?ref_=tt_stry_pl)

All the performances are masterful, and the story was beautiful in its horror, but I never, never, ever want to watch it again. It's a movie that stays with you forever and gives you a lot to think about, but it will mess you up in so many ways.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: nuit93 on April 09, 2013, 11:57:02 PM
Maybe this isn't the worst movie I ever saw, but it's the best movie I never want to see again: Quills. It has Geoffrey Rush, Joaquin Phoenix, Kate Winslet, Stephen Moyer...how could it possibly go bad?

Oh, wait. It's a movie about the Marquis de Sade, and Geoffrey Rush is playing him. The Marquis is in a mental institution run by a priest (played by Joaquin Phoenix), and Kate Winslet is a laundress who helps the Marquis smuggle his perverted stories out to be published. The summary of the plot is totally NSF work or the squeamish, but I will provide a link to those who want to know and have iron stomachs: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0180073/synopsis?ref_=tt_stry_pl  (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0180073/synopsis?ref_=tt_stry_pl)

All the performances are masterful, and the story was beautiful in its horror, but I never, never, ever want to watch it again. It's a movie that stays with you forever and gives you a lot to think about, but it will mess you up in so many ways.

I love that movie, but they made the actual works of the Marquis de Sade seem relatively tame.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: violinp on April 10, 2013, 12:17:26 AM
Maybe this isn't the worst movie I ever saw, but it's the best movie I never want to see again: Quills. It has Geoffrey Rush, Joaquin Phoenix, Kate Winslet, Stephen Moyer...how could it possibly go bad?

Oh, wait. It's a movie about the Marquis de Sade, and Geoffrey Rush is playing him. The Marquis is in a mental institution run by a priest (played by Joaquin Phoenix), and Kate Winslet is a laundress who helps the Marquis smuggle his perverted stories out to be published. The summary of the plot is totally NSF work or the squeamish, but I will provide a link to those who want to know and have iron stomachs: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0180073/synopsis?ref_=tt_stry_pl  (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0180073/synopsis?ref_=tt_stry_pl)

All the performances are masterful, and the story was beautiful in its horror, but I never, never, ever want to watch it again. It's a movie that stays with you forever and gives you a lot to think about, but it will mess you up in so many ways.

I love that movie, but they made the actual works of the Marquis de Sade seem relatively tame.

Well, what he actually wrote and did would have been a funhouse for something on the level of Saw or Hostel, so I don't blame them.  :-X
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on April 10, 2013, 06:16:56 AM
I read that synopsis of the plot and now I think I need a shower.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Twik on April 10, 2013, 10:32:44 AM
Maybe this isn't the worst movie I ever saw, but it's the best movie I never want to see again: Quills. It has Geoffrey Rush, Joaquin Phoenix, Kate Winslet, Stephen Moyer...how could it possibly go bad?

Oh, wait. It's a movie about the Marquis de Sade, and Geoffrey Rush is playing him. The Marquis is in a mental institution run by a priest (played by Joaquin Phoenix), and Kate Winslet is a laundress who helps the Marquis smuggle his perverted stories out to be published. The summary of the plot is totally NSF work or the squeamish, but I will provide a link to those who want to know and have iron stomachs: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0180073/synopsis?ref_=tt_stry_pl  (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0180073/synopsis?ref_=tt_stry_pl)

All the performances are masterful, and the story was beautiful in its horror, but I never, never, ever want to watch it again. It's a movie that stays with you forever and gives you a lot to think about, but it will mess you up in so many ways.

I love that movie, but they made the actual works of the Marquis de Sade seem relatively tame.

Well, what he actually wrote and did would have been a funhouse for something on the level of Saw or Hostel, so I don't blame them.  :-X

I just read a quote of his in another book, and it turned my stomach.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: violinp on April 10, 2013, 10:46:58 AM
I read that synopsis of the plot and now I think I need a shower.

Yeah, it does that to ya. *shudder*
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: SDG31000 on April 11, 2013, 07:48:58 AM
There are many films posted about here that I agree with......Titanic and anything "starring" Tom Cruise to start with.

I also have to add-

Casino Royale (The Daniel Craig version)  I can recall plots and info on movies that I watched 20 odd years ago, but it took me 4 attempts to watch this all the way through and I can't remember any of it.

Another Stakeout starring Richard Dreyfuss and Rosie O'Donnell.  DH and I went to see this when I was pregnant with DS1 and both of us fell asleep in the cinema.  I remember there was a big dog in it and that's all.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Virg on April 11, 2013, 02:24:48 PM
SDG31000 wrote:

"There are many films posted about here that I agree with......Titanic and anything "starring" Tom Cruise to start with."

I've always found that most actors can be good at something, even if they're bad a lots of things, and that the perfect role is out there for them (with notable exceptions for people who just shouldn't be actors like Paris Hilton).  So whenever I see a comment about hating everything that a particular actor is in, I look through their credits to see if there's something in there that rescues them from abject and complete failure.  For Tom Cruise, that credit is Risky Business.  I personally liked Jerry Maguire but I still can't decide whether I liked his performance or whether I liked it enough that I didn't find his performance annoying.  But Risky Business was a good film, and it was good because of him.

"Another Stakeout starring Richard Dreyfuss and Rosie O'Donnell."

I'm with you on this one.  I enjoyed the first one a lot, but as soon as I saw the trailers I knew the second one would be a horror show, and it really was.

"I remember there was a big dog in it and that's all."

Now, now, this is Etiquette Hell, so it's not polite to talk about actors like that...  ;D ;D

Virg
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on April 11, 2013, 02:45:31 PM
The only thing I don't mind Tom Cruise in is A Few Good Men because there are other actors that make it enjoyable to watch and Cruise does have a few funny lines. 
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: LazyDaisy on April 11, 2013, 02:53:28 PM
Some actors just play the same character over and over no matter what film they're in. The first time or few times, it works because they're actually acting according to the role. They receive acclaim for it and think, "I was loved for it last time, I'll do it again!" Among those for me are Kevin Costner, Tom Cruise, and Keanu Reeves.

Kevin Costner: It doesn't matter if he's dropped on an alternate Earth, into the post Civil War American West, or medieval England -- Kevin Costner will play a self absorbed wounded soul with antisocial tendencies who, despite whining and pouting about it (and maybe quitting or running away once or twice), will do something somewhat heroic, learn nothing in the process, and go back to his pouting as soon as the crisis is over.

Tom Cruise's characters: a cocky jerk with a few actual skills/talent which allow him to succeed despite usually causing most of his own problems, learns nothing throughout the process, still a cocky jerk at the end.

Keanu Reeves -- a cyborg with the personality of tofu. I think his best work was Ted because it's the only time he showed something close to human emotion -- dude, bogus.




edited because I do know the difference between the Revolutionary War and Civil War
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on April 11, 2013, 02:59:21 PM
Laughing about Keanu Reeves because that is so true. I used to have a crush on him in the days of "Speed" but look back now and think "what was I THINKING????????"
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: LazyDaisy on April 11, 2013, 03:06:13 PM
You want to really see a train wreck of acting from Keanu Reeves, he played Don John in Much Ado About Nothing (1993). Oooof, Keanu Reeves trying to deliver Shakespeare is just about as bad as it gets. The rest of the movie was surprisingly just fine -- they cast real people for the other roles.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: violinp on April 11, 2013, 03:10:02 PM
You want to really see a train wreck of acting from Keanu Reeves, he played Don John in Much Ado About Nothing (1993). Oooof, Keanu Reeves trying to deliver Shakespeare is just about as bad as it gets. The rest of the movie was surprisingly just fine -- they cast real people for the other roles.

With apologies to Shakespeare, Much Ado About Nothing sounds like the story of Keanu Reeves' career.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Slartibartfast on April 11, 2013, 03:21:20 PM
You want to really see a train wreck of acting from Keanu Reeves, he played Don John in Much Ado About Nothing (1993). Oooof, Keanu Reeves trying to deliver Shakespeare is just about as bad as it gets. The rest of the movie was surprisingly just fine -- they cast real people for the other roles.

Was just thinking of that one  :)  It's particularly bad because he's up there against people like Denzel Washington, Kenneth Branagh, and Emma Thompson - Keanu Reeves spends the whole thing looking like he has something uncomfortable lodged in his posterior and someone took away his favorite toy.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on April 11, 2013, 03:32:18 PM
You want to really see a train wreck of acting from Keanu Reeves, he played Don John in Much Ado About Nothing (1993). Oooof, Keanu Reeves trying to deliver Shakespeare is just about as bad as it gets. The rest of the movie was surprisingly just fine -- they cast real people for the other roles.

Was just thinking of that one  :)  It's particularly bad because he's up there against people like Denzel Washington, Kenneth Branagh, and Emma Thompson - Keanu Reeves spends the whole thing looking like he has something uncomfortable lodged in his posterior and someone took away his favorite toy.

Never saw it but that description was hilarious!
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: LazyDaisy on April 11, 2013, 03:37:44 PM
You want to really see a train wreck of acting from Keanu Reeves, he played Don John in Much Ado About Nothing (1993). Oooof, Keanu Reeves trying to deliver Shakespeare is just about as bad as it gets. The rest of the movie was surprisingly just fine -- they cast real people for the other roles.

Was just thinking of that one  :)  It's particularly bad because he's up there against people like Denzel Washington, Kenneth Branagh, and Emma Thompson - Keanu Reeves spends the whole thing looking like he has something uncomfortable lodged in his posterior and someone took away his favorite toy.
That's just his factory installed expression. Tech support forgot to install the "scowl like a villain" upgrade for the movie.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Snowy Owl on April 11, 2013, 04:46:50 PM
You want to really see a train wreck of acting from Keanu Reeves, he played Don John in Much Ado About Nothing (1993). Oooof, Keanu Reeves trying to deliver Shakespeare is just about as bad as it gets. The rest of the movie was surprisingly just fine -- they cast real people for the other roles.

Was just thinking of that one  :)  It's particularly bad because he's up there against people like Denzel Washington, Kenneth Branagh, and Emma Thompson - Keanu Reeves spends the whole thing looking like he has something uncomfortable lodged in his posterior and someone took away his favorite toy.

Never saw it but that description was hilarious!

I've seen it and it's a pretty accurate description.  I don't know what Kenneth Branagh was thinking casting someone with the emotional projection abilities of a plank of wood. 
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: crella on April 11, 2013, 07:06:23 PM
Definitely "Godzilla vs. Biollante" (1989).  In the 80s they came out with a new Godzilla film yearly, timed to coincide with the start of school winter vacation (12/26-1/5 roughly).  I took DS every year. We saw Mothra, King Ghidorah, etc and so of course we headed off to see this one too. Dark screen, scary suspenseful music (think the first Batman movie) . The camera slowly pans up from water level up, up, up, this twisted trunk of vines until it reaches the head of the beast(musical crescendo), a red rose! :o :o :o

This year's monster was an overgrown red rose bush with a bad temper.....I was instantly gone....I had to duck into my winter coat, I was laughing so hard. DS didn't see the hilarity. We didn't buy the monster that year, to add to the collection (still have the Mothra grub and moth, and a huge King Ghodorah  :D )

Edited to correct an omitted word.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Twik on April 11, 2013, 10:38:57 PM
You want to really see a train wreck of acting from Keanu Reeves, he played Don John in Much Ado About Nothing (1993). Oooof, Keanu Reeves trying to deliver Shakespeare is just about as bad as it gets. The rest of the movie was surprisingly just fine -- they cast real people for the other roles.

Was just thinking of that one  :)  It's particularly bad because he's up there against people like Denzel Washington, Kenneth Branagh, and Emma Thompson - Keanu Reeves spends the whole thing looking like he has something uncomfortable lodged in his posterior and someone took away his favorite toy.

There was a time when people thought that Keanu was going to be an Actor (you know, with a capital A). One of those quirks of history.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on April 12, 2013, 07:32:11 AM
I'm reminded of a sad Keanu meme that was going around a while ago. :)

I'm also reminded of Jack Sparrow's attempt to speak Latin in At World's End can apply to Keanu. (I say mangled because while he pronounced it well, the way he used them show he didn't know what the phrases meant)

'Res ipsa loquitur, tabula in narfragio", the thing speaks for itself, a plank in a shipwreck. 

Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: magicdomino on April 12, 2013, 10:27:01 AM

This year's monster was an overgrown red rose bush with a bad temper.....I was instantly gone....I had to duck into my winter coat, I was laughing so hard.

Clearly, you haven't met my attack rose:

(http://i585.photobucket.com/albums/ss291/magicdomino/Halloween%202012/Caught.jpg) (http://s585.photobucket.com/user/magicdomino/media/Halloween%202012/Caught.jpg.html)
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Calistoga on April 12, 2013, 10:38:36 AM
I'm sure that I've seen worse movies, but one that stands out in my mine is Sucker Punch.

Not because the movie was just god-awful. It was pretty bad, yeah...but I was more disappointed in it because it has the potential to be kind of cool. It had an interesting premise. It was just terribly done. I never go in to a movie expecting it to be bad, but when I expect something to be OK and it's AWFUL, I feel like I've lost something.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: guihong on April 12, 2013, 11:50:58 AM
Definitely "Godzilla vs. Biollante" (1989).  In the 80s they came out with a new Godzilla film yearly, timed to coincide with the start of school winter vacation (12/26-1/5 roughly).  I took DS every year. We saw Mothra, King Ghidorah, etc and so of course we headed off to see this one too. Dark screen, scary suspenseful music (think the first Batman movie) . The camera slowly pans up from water level up, up, up, this twisted trunk of vines until it reaches the head of the beast(musical crescendo), a red rose! :o :o :o

This year's monster was an overgrown red rose bush with a bad temper.....I was instantly gone....I had to duck into my winter coat, I was laughing so hard. DS didn't see the hilarity. We didn't buy the monster that year, to add to the collection (still have the Mothra grub and moth, and a huge King Ghodorah  :D )

Edited to correct an omitted word.

I laughed until I cried.  And it was played so seriously; I thought the movie was meant to be a comedy!  Still, it's Godzilla destroying things and a monster fight; even when it's bad, it's still pretty good ;).
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Jocelyn on April 13, 2013, 09:35:50 PM
I agree with Titanic, I always say the hero in that movie was the iceberg.

My sister and father were at the Titanic Historical Society's annual banquet, and my sister was making conversation with another woman seated at their table. She commented that she'd met the woman's husband earlier and asked, 'And are you as much of a fan on the Titanic as he is?' as he had made quite an impression with his unbounded enthusiasm for things Titanic.

The wife fixed a baleful look upon my sister and replied, 'Actually, I'm a fan of the iceberg.'  ::)
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on April 13, 2013, 09:37:42 PM
Paul Blart, Mall Cop.  So boring!!
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: goldilocks on April 16, 2013, 02:56:35 PM
Anything on SyFy - but they are actually so bad, they are entertaining.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: snowfire on April 16, 2013, 04:48:19 PM

This year's monster was an overgrown red rose bush with a bad temper.....I was instantly gone....I had to duck into my winter coat, I was laughing so hard.

Clearly, you haven't met my attack rose:

(http://i585.photobucket.com/albums/ss291/magicdomino/Halloween%202012/Caught.jpg) (http://s585.photobucket.com/user/magicdomino/media/Halloween%202012/Caught.jpg.html)

LOL!!! I've got one of those too.  Have to prune it with welding gloves on.  If I didn't have an HOA, I'd do the skeleton in a heartbeat.  Maybe I can get away with it for Halloween  >:D
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: ladyknight1 on April 16, 2013, 04:49:18 PM
Anything with Tom Cruise.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: LazyDaisy on April 16, 2013, 04:55:27 PM
Anything on SyFy - but they are actually so bad, they are entertaining.

Agreed. I think of them as comedies instead of dramas. ICE SPIDERS!
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: andi on April 16, 2013, 08:54:47 PM
Anything on SyFy - but they are actually so bad, they are entertaining.

Agreed. I think of them as comedies instead of dramas. ICE SPIDERS!

I think I wet myself laughing through Ice Spiders!!
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Gyburc on April 17, 2013, 05:39:10 AM
I'm sure that I've seen worse movies, but one that stands out in my mine is Sucker Punch.

Not because the movie was just god-awful. It was pretty bad, yeah...but I was more disappointed in it because it has the potential to be kind of cool. It had an interesting premise. It was just terribly done. I never go in to a movie expecting it to be bad, but when I expect something to be OK and it's AWFUL, I feel like I've lost something.

Our former house guest raved about Sucker Punch, and so when we saw it at the supermarket for Ł3, we bought it. I'm not someone who usually takes offence at sexism in films, but I have to say, this one made me want to bleach myself all over.  >:( The premise was quite good - girl trapped in asylum re-creates herself and her friends as superheroes in order to escape what's really happening to them. And the fantasy action sequences were a lot of fun.

But. The girl also imagines that the asylum is some kind of brothel, and all the girls have to practice their dirty dancing to entice their clients. The only reason I could see for this was to provide an excuse to put the girls in skimpy costumes and plaster them with make-up and fake eyelashes, and get them to wiggle their excuse-mes at every opportunity. The main character is referred to throughout as Baby Doll and is dressed like a very young teen, which I also found pretty creepy.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Stormtreader on April 17, 2013, 07:50:12 AM
Seconding The Room - the added bonus is that it goes on for so long, it becomes good-bad, bad-bad, good-bad, bad-bad, i-just-want-this-part-of-my-life-to-be-over-bad....

Also nominating Night of the Comet, my friend loves it but nothing happens! And of course Prometheus, so much promise wasted. AND the fact it was all set up to be nearly-almost a prequel and then they decided they needed to get a little more milage out of the main baddie and hauled him back on his feet again.  >:(
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: crella on April 17, 2013, 07:54:22 AM
Magicdomino, love your attack rose, and  guihong, I'm glad I wasn't the only one, thank you!
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: BarensMom on April 17, 2013, 08:02:11 AM
I just saw "Boxing Helena." 

I have to go listen to the 10-hour version of the badger song now.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on April 17, 2013, 08:25:58 AM
Last night I was subjected to a Disney channel original movie and was so glad that I could turn it off with the excuse that it was bed time.  Those things are so horribly written and you don't need a crystal ball to know exactly how it's going to turn out in the end. 
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: gingerzing on April 17, 2013, 10:27:35 AM
I agree with Titanic, I always say the hero in that movie was the iceberg.

My sister and father were at the Titanic Historical Society's annual banquet, and my sister was making conversation with another woman seated at their table. She commented that she'd met the woman's husband earlier and asked, 'And are you as much of a fan on the Titanic as he is?' as he had made quite an impression with his unbounded enthusiasm for things Titanic.

The wife fixed a baleful look upon my sister and replied, 'Actually, I'm a fan of the iceberg.'  ::)

Made me laugh.  Reminded me of the movie Lake Placid  (fairly rotten movie called a Horror-Comedy about a man-eating crocodile loose in the lake. )  Betty White is in it and has the best line in it.  "I'm rooting for the crocodile. I hope he swallows your friends whole. "
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Mal on April 17, 2013, 10:45:58 AM
Worst movie I ever saw: Gentlemen Broncos. That may have been in part because I wasn't the target audience and it went over my head a lot of the time, plus it was poorly dubbed, but all in all it was just a whole lot of humorless boredom. I was very close to walking out of the theater but - as I had gone there with a friend and she is of the I-paid-for-it-I'll-sit-through-it variety - I dozed off a little instead.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on April 17, 2013, 11:04:11 AM
I saw Phantom Menace a few times with a friend when it came out in the theaters, as it was summer, theater had A/C, and it was a distraction from missing DH who was in boot camp at the time. 

I kept falling asleep during the pod racing scene.  That was so long and so boring.  I think the main reason I kept going back was that I have a small crush on Liam Neeson.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Miss Misery on April 17, 2013, 12:49:29 PM
Wild Wild West --  another entry for the "worst film with the best cast" awards.  This movie just staggers from one unfunny scene to the next. Salma Hayek was in such useless role that it makes me wonder why they bothered to get a name actress. Then there was the horrific lack of chemistry between Will Smith and Kevin Kline. The late Roger Ebert said it was like they were acting to rear-screen projections of each other.

Then there is the racism and handicapped jokes. While it was supposed to be "ha ha, we're so obvious about our racism and handicapped epithets, get it? *wink*wink*", it just comes off as crass and repulsive, no more so than in the following dialogue (for those playing at home, West is African-American and Loveless has no legs).

Dr. Arliss Loveless: Mister West! How nice of you to join us tonight and add COLOR to these monochromatic proceedings!

Capt. James West: Well, when a fella comes back from the dead, I find that an occasion to STAND UP and be counted!

Dr. Arliss Loveless: Miss East informs me that you were expecting to see General McGrath here. Well, I knew him years ago, but I haven't seen him in a COON's age!

Capt. James West: Well, I can see where it'd be difficult for a man of your stature to keep in touch with even HALF the people you know.

Dr. Arliss Loveless: Well, perhaps the lovely Miss East will keep you from being a SLAVE to your disappointment!

Capt. James West: Well, you know beautiful women; they encourage you one minute, and CUT THE LEGS OUT from under you the next!

 :o
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on April 17, 2013, 12:53:04 PM
That was really painful.  If not for the racist/handicapped jokes I would laugh cause I love puns. I hate when movies waste a great cast with a horrible screenplay.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: SpottedPony on April 17, 2013, 04:31:22 PM
Wild Wild West --  another entry for the "worst film with the best cast" awards.  This movie just staggers from one unfunny scene to the next. Salma Hayek was in such useless role that it makes me wonder why they bothered to get a name actress. Then there was the horrific lack of chemistry between Will Smith and Kevin Kline. The late Roger Ebert said it was like they were acting to rear-screen projections of each other.

Then there is the racism and handicapped jokes. While it was supposed to be "ha ha, we're so obvious about our racism and handicapped epithets, get it? *wink*wink*", it just comes off as crass and repulsive, no more so than in the following dialogue (for those playing at home, West is African-American and Loveless has no legs).

Dr. Arliss Loveless: Mister West! How nice of you to join us tonight and add COLOR to these monochromatic proceedings!

Capt. James West: Well, when a fella comes back from the dead, I find that an occasion to STAND UP and be counted!

Dr. Arliss Loveless: Miss East informs me that you were expecting to see General McGrath here. Well, I knew him years ago, but I haven't seen him in a COON's age!

Capt. James West: Well, I can see where it'd be difficult for a man of your stature to keep in touch with even HALF the people you know.

Dr. Arliss Loveless: Well, perhaps the lovely Miss East will keep you from being a SLAVE to your disappointment!

Capt. James West: Well, you know beautiful women; they encourage you one minute, and CUT THE LEGS OUT from under you the next!

 :o

I am a fan of the series that this 'movie' was based on, I've never seen the movie, but from the comments of the fans who have, I have no interest in seeing it.  In the series, Robert Conrad (James West) and Ross Martin (Artemus Gordon) had a chemistry that was second to none.  Robert Conrad was the perfect action hero and ladies man.  Ross Martin could do accents and dialects and would become the character he was portraying. The Oscar nominated dwarf actor Michael Dunn was the perfect choice for Dr.  Miguelito Loveless.  I've heard that he is still on the list of most memorial villians of all time. 

Most who tried to give it a chance, say they walked out after about 15 minutes, they couldn't stand it. 

Spotted Pony
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Redneck Gravy on April 18, 2013, 08:38:07 AM
Wild Wild West --  another entry for the "worst film with the best cast" awards.  This movie just staggers from one unfunny scene to the next. Salma Hayek was in such useless role that it makes me wonder why they bothered to get a name actress. Then there was the horrific lack of chemistry between Will Smith and Kevin Kline. The late Roger Ebert said it was like they were acting to rear-screen projections of each other.

Then there is the racism and handicapped jokes. While it was supposed to be "ha ha, we're so obvious about our racism and handicapped epithets, get it? *wink*wink*", it just comes off as crass and repulsive, no more so than in the following dialogue (for those playing at home, West is African-American and Loveless has no legs).

Dr. Arliss Loveless: Mister West! How nice of you to join us tonight and add COLOR to these monochromatic proceedings!

Capt. James West: Well, when a fella comes back from the dead, I find that an occasion to STAND UP and be counted!

Dr. Arliss Loveless: Miss East informs me that you were expecting to see General McGrath here. Well, I knew him years ago, but I haven't seen him in a COON's age!

Capt. James West: Well, I can see where it'd be difficult for a man of your stature to keep in touch with even HALF the people you know.

Dr. Arliss Loveless: Well, perhaps the lovely Miss East will keep you from being a SLAVE to your disappointment!

Capt. James West: Well, you know beautiful women; they encourage you one minute, and CUT THE LEGS OUT from under you the next!

 :o

I am a fan of the series that this 'movie' was based on, I've never seen the movie, but from the comments of the fans who have, I have no interest in seeing it.  In the series, Robert Conrad (James West) and Ross Martin (Artemus Gordon) had a chemistry that was second to none.  Robert Conrad was the perfect action hero and ladies man.  Ross Martin could do accents and dialects and would become the character he was portraying. The Oscar nominated dwarf actor Michael Dunn was the perfect choice for Dr.  Miguelito Loveless.  I've heard that he is still on the list of most memorial villians of all time. 

Most who tried to give it a chance, say they walked out after about 15 minutes, they couldn't stand it. 

Spotted Pony

Yes the series was a gillion times better than the movie.  I couldn't sit through it either. 

Great cast - horrendous writing.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Twik on April 18, 2013, 08:42:54 AM
That puzzles me - couldn't someone sit down and say, "In general, a good script doesn't cost a lot more than a terrible script. So, let's look at what made the series popular, and write a script in the same vein"? Instead, they seemed to say, "Hey, GIANT MECHANICAL SPIDER! That's all we need to sell this movie, along with Will Smith and the rights to the name of the show. So, I'll get my nephew to write a script to involve a GIANT MECHANICAL SPIDER, and a few one-liners for Will Smith. Goodness knows, since he dropped out of high school he needs a job."
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Virg on April 18, 2013, 08:58:58 AM
Twik, I can answer this one straight from an insider's view.  Kevin Smith was talking at a college about a bunch of things, and this particular bungle came up during his talk.  See here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vgYhLIThTvk (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vgYhLIThTvk)

I'll warn for language, but it offers insight into what happened in Wild Wild West, at least so far as your particular comment.  It's long and doesn't seem to apply until the end, but you really need to hear the whole story to appreciate how close you are to the reality of what happened.

Virg
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Redneck Gravy on April 18, 2013, 10:05:55 AM
Wow Bruce Smith is funny and I see the next connection...
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: lilfox on April 18, 2013, 12:37:23 PM
Well, I know where the next great sci-fi (or Scyfy) movie script is coming from...  my 3.5 yr old DD!  The other day she told me about volcano spiders that shoot lava webs.  She also has described a Godzilla monster that is orange with black stripes (Tigerzilla!).

Anyone know of some big name actors who want to help out a new kid in the business?  ;D
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: turtleIScream on April 18, 2013, 08:21:42 PM
Well, I know where the next great sci-fi (or Scyfy) movie script is coming from...  my 3.5 yr old DD!  The other day she told me about volcano spiders that shoot lava webs.  She also has described a Godzilla monster that is orange with black stripes (Tigerzilla!).

Anyone know of some big name actors who want to help out a new kid in the business?  ;D

Huh. I would actually go see that. Sounds cool!
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: zyrs on April 21, 2013, 10:31:15 PM
Well, I know where the next great sci-fi (or Scyfy) movie script is coming from...  my 3.5 yr old DD!  The other day she told me about volcano spiders that shoot lava webs.  She also has described a Godzilla monster that is orange with black stripes (Tigerzilla!).

Anyone know of some big name actors who want to help out a new kid in the business?  ;D

Huh. I would actually go see that. Sounds cool!

I'd go see it too, especially if Tigerzilla and Volrachnid were being controlled by space aliens.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on April 21, 2013, 10:36:43 PM
It's not the worst movie I've ever seen, as most would probably say it was a good movie and well done but it makes me uncomfortable to watch.

Disney's Tangled. It has its funny parts but the relationship with Mother Gothel and Rapunzel makes it hard for me to watch it.  I'm the odd one out in my family for not liking it, though DH can understand why more than the boys can. 
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Diane AKA Traska on April 21, 2013, 11:38:59 PM
It's not the worst movie I've ever seen, as most would probably say it was a good movie and well done but it makes me uncomfortable to watch.

Disney's Tangled. It has its funny parts but the relationship with Mother Gothel and Rapunzel makes it hard for me to watch it.  I'm the odd one out in my family for not liking it, though DH can understand why more than the boys can.

I can understand how the Rapunzel/Gothel scenes would be triggers.  Sorry they dragged it down for you.  :/
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Slartibartfast on April 22, 2013, 01:03:15 AM
Tangled bothered me mostly from a feminist perspective.  "Naive girl who keeps repeatedly trusting the lying man who wants something from her despite all evidence and common sense to the contrary" can be a powerful character story in a modern adult movie - the kind with the flawed anti-hero where you're really not cheering for anyone and nobody really wins - but it bothered me in a fairy tale.  It especially bothered me because the character arc was set up for both main characters to grow and learn and get past their flaws and they just . . . didn't.  They were exactly the same people (emotionally) at the end as they were in the beginning, just with ". . . and now you're together; isn't that cool?" slapped on top.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on April 22, 2013, 06:46:25 AM
Tangled bothered me mostly from a feminist perspective.  "Naive girl who keeps repeatedly trusting the lying man who wants something from her despite all evidence and common sense to the contrary" can be a powerful character story in a modern adult movie - the kind with the flawed anti-hero where you're really not cheering for anyone and nobody really wins - but it bothered me in a fairy tale.  It especially bothered me because the character arc was set up for both main characters to grow and learn and get past their flaws and they just . . . didn't.  They were exactly the same people (emotionally) at the end as they were in the beginning, just with ". . . and now you're together; isn't that cool?" slapped on top.

I can see that.   And I dunno, first time I ever saw any part of it was while my cousin's daughter was watching it and just from watching a few moments of the Mother Gothel and Rapunzel scenes I was surprised a Disney movie had that kind of toxic relationship. Sure there's been toxic relationships before but I have a hard time remembering any where the "mother" was so emotionally manipulative as Mother Gothel. The stepmothers of the past were generally just outright hateful.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Diane AKA Traska on April 22, 2013, 07:10:48 AM
Tangled bothered me mostly from a feminist perspective.  "Naive girl who keeps repeatedly trusting the lying man who wants something from her despite all evidence and common sense to the contrary" can be a powerful character story in a modern adult movie - the kind with the flawed anti-hero where you're really not cheering for anyone and nobody really wins - but it bothered me in a fairy tale.  It especially bothered me because the character arc was set up for both main characters to grow and learn and get past their flaws and they just . . . didn't.  They were exactly the same people (emotionally) at the end as they were in the beginning, just with ". . . and now you're together; isn't that cool?" slapped on top.

I can see that.   And I dunno, first time I ever saw any part of it was while my cousin's daughter was watching it and just from watching a few moments of the Mother Gothel and Rapunzel scenes I was surprised a Disney movie had that kind of toxic relationship. Sure there's been toxic relationships before but I have a hard time remembering any where the "mother" was so emotionally manipulative as Mother Gothel. The stepmothers of the past were generally just outright hateful.

Disney just doesn't like female parents.  At all.  See: Bambi.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on April 22, 2013, 07:16:37 AM
Well there was Andy's mom in Toy Story, Merida's mother, Simba's mother, and Mulan's but that's all I've got when it comes to movies in Disney/Pixar movies and good, present mothers. 

Though I guess it could be argued that with Mother Gothel isn't really Rapunzel's mother and her real mother did love and worry about her.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: iridaceae on April 22, 2013, 07:37:09 AM


Disney just doesn't like female parents.  At all.  See: Bambi.
That's not Disney's fault; Bambi's mother dies in the book,  too. Just as Tony and Tia are orphans in the book Escape to Witch Mountain.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Twik on April 22, 2013, 08:29:50 AM
It's a classic trope of children's literature - children who are left to their own devices, either through losing their parents, or by having abusive caregivers. I think children find it a fascinating concept - "What if I couldn't rely on my own parents? What if I had to survive on my own? What if I had to act like a grownup (and didn't have any grownups to stop me from doing whatever I wanted)?"
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: KenveeB on April 22, 2013, 08:54:38 AM
Honestly, for kids to be the heroes of the story, you have to have a way to get the parents out of the way. If the parents are there, the kids can't really be the ones responsible for saving the day. So the parents have to be dead or absentee, or the kids have to be away at school or run away.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Redneck Gravy on April 22, 2013, 01:32:45 PM
In the Cat and The Hat didn't the poor mother just go shopping? 
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: LazyDaisy on April 22, 2013, 02:16:11 PM
Tangled bothered me mostly from a feminist perspective.  "Naive girl who keeps repeatedly trusting the lying man who wants something from her despite all evidence and common sense to the contrary" can be a powerful character story in a modern adult movie - the kind with the flawed anti-hero where you're really not cheering for anyone and nobody really wins - but it bothered me in a fairy tale.  It especially bothered me because the character arc was set up for both main characters to grow and learn and get past their flaws and they just . . . didn't.  They were exactly the same people (emotionally) at the end as they were in the beginning, just with ". . . and now you're together; isn't that cool?" slapped on top.

I can see that.   And I dunno, first time I ever saw any part of it was while my cousin's daughter was watching it and just from watching a few moments of the Mother Gothel and Rapunzel scenes I was surprised a Disney movie had that kind of toxic relationship. Sure there's been toxic relationships before but I have a hard time remembering any where the "mother" was so emotionally manipulative as Mother Gothel. The stepmothers of the past were generally just outright hateful.

Disney just doesn't like female parents.  At all.  See: Bambi.

Lots of Disney movies are based on old folk tales, like Grimm's. In most of those the mother, at least, is dead. I think that is more indicative of the mortality rate several hundred years ago rather than a dislike for females/adults. Childhood was different back then -- and over much earlier than it is today. Our perception of these stories has definitely changed from when they were first told. Some of the actions of the adults would have been perfectly acceptable generations ago, but now we see them as reprehensible. Strong, powerful women always are cast as evil or a witch, while nice girls are meek and subservient. Disney has attempted to clean up and modernize many stories while keeping to the original plot. Unfortunately, you can't have a Rapunzel without a witch to kidnap her, and it would be a totally different story altogether if it was a man who kidnapped and held her in a tower.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Virg on April 22, 2013, 02:23:39 PM
Redneck Gravy wrote:

"In the Cat and The Hat didn't the poor mother just go shopping?"

Well, yes, but CitH isn't Disney so it doesn't have to follow the rule of bad mother figures.

Piratelvr1121 wrote:

"Sure there's been toxic relationships before but I have a hard time remembering any where the "mother" was so emotionally manipulative as Mother Gothel. The stepmothers of the past were generally just outright hateful."

I do have to agree that Mother Gothel isn't a good example of a bad mother figure in a Disney story because she was a kidnapper, not Rapunzel's real mother.  She only kept Rapunzel around so that she could use the magic in her, so the idea of violated or neglected familial duty isn't there.  It seems unfair to call their relationship "toxic" because it wasn't really a relationship at all and nobody who watched it really expected Mother Gothel to be anything other than a monster even if Rapunzel didn't know any better.

Virg
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on April 22, 2013, 03:09:20 PM
True, though I guess since she kidnapped Rapunzel as a baby and told the child she was her mother, the poor girl didn't really know any better.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Twik on April 22, 2013, 03:52:51 PM
Strong, powerful women always are cast as evil or a witch, while nice girls are meek and subservient.

That's not always true. I've actually read a few of the original Grimm's stories recently, and they are by no means written with "nice girls don't do anything active" in mind.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Venus193 on April 22, 2013, 07:38:00 PM
Toxic parents are the most popular villain class in Mexican novelas.  Mothers are twice as deadly as fathers.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: MerryCat on April 22, 2013, 09:08:19 PM
Strong, powerful women always are cast as evil or a witch, while nice girls are meek and subservient.

That's not always true. I've actually read a few of the original Grimm's stories recently, and they are by no means written with "nice girls don't do anything active" in mind.

Yep, and even the Grimm tales are kind of cleaned up. In Donkeyskin, an early Cinderella variant, the princess is running away from an incestuous relationship with her very toxic father. There's no fairy godmother and she has to fend for herself in the prince's kitchen.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Stirling on April 23, 2013, 10:21:12 AM
Movie that's so bad its great - Killer Clowns from Outerspace.

Classic movies I just don't "get" - 2001 A Space Oddessy and Eraser Head.  I've seen them both many times and just don't get them.  However, I don't consider them bad movies.

I know there are movies that I don't care for, But I can't think of any at the moment.

Edited to add:

I thought of a movie that I stopped watching because I found it completely offensive with no redeeming qualities.  It was Bruno.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Twik on April 23, 2013, 12:36:50 PM
Speaking of the Brothers Grimm, Terry Gilliam's take on them was pretty bad. I was very disappointed - I love a lot of his work, like Baron Munchausen, and the Grimm movie seemed so uninspired.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: jedikaiti on November 07, 2013, 10:53:05 PM
Movie that's so bad its great - Killer Clowns from Outerspace.

Classic movies I just don't "get" - 2001 A Space Oddessy and Eraser Head.  I've seen them both many times and just don't get them.  However, I don't consider them bad movies.

I know there are movies that I don't care for, But I can't think of any at the moment.

Edited to add:

I thought of a movie that I stopped watching because I found it completely offensive with no redeeming qualities.  It was Bruno.

Just think of 2001 as being designed to ask more questions than it answers, and when all else fails, confuse. :-)

(It's one of my personal favorites)
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Cricket on November 08, 2013, 04:58:36 AM
*snip*

My husband has Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter at home waiting for us to watch together. I am dreading it...I'd like to say I hope it'll have some redeeming value to it, but...hmmm....I suspect it will belong on this list as well.


Just the title made me laugh  ;D It intrigued me so much that I looked up the storyline and chuckled some more. I sounds like an excellent candidate for the so-bad-it's-good award and I kind of want to see it now. Wonder if it will come to Australia.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on November 08, 2013, 05:53:44 AM
Rock of Ages.  I couldn't even finish watching it. :P
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: scotcat60 on November 08, 2013, 06:06:50 AM
I've just seen "The Eagle" based on Rosmary Sutcliffe's "The Eagle of the Ninth" After the first ten minutes the story degenerated into almost nothing that Ms Sutcliffe ever wrote.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: SCMagnolia on November 08, 2013, 09:40:46 AM
Quote
Pulp Fiction

I know that is sacrilege to say because it is such a cult classic; but I don't think I handled more than 10 minutes of the movie - glad that I only rented it and didn't waste money at the theater..


Totally agree with you. 

I was on a date once with a guy who wanted to be sweet about picking a "chick flick" that he thought enjoy.  We went to see a Sandra Bullock movie - What about Steve or some such title like that.  It. Was. Awful.  He couldn't quit apologizing!!!

Worst one I ever sat through was No Country For Old Men.  The  whole movie was violent and just screamed "evil" to me but I sat through it only to get to that ending that just seemed like the Cohen brothers got tired of playing filmmaker and walked away.  I was pissed that I sat through all that awfullness for that terrible what-the-hell-just-happened ending.

Avengers was awful.  Watching it with a raging migraine didn't help its cause any, either.

Terminator 2.  Could not wait for that movie to end so I could end my equally-lousy date and go home.  And just my luck, it's the movie that just never ends!

Ted.  'nuff said.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Diane AKA Traska on November 08, 2013, 09:59:04 AM
Quote
Pulp Fiction

I know that is sacrilege to say because it is such a cult classic; but I don't think I handled more than 10 minutes of the movie - glad that I only rented it and didn't waste money at the theater..


Totally agree with you. 

I was on a date once with a guy who wanted to be sweet about picking a "chick flick" that he thought enjoy.  We went to see a Sandra Bullock movie - What about Steve or some such title like that.  It. Was. Awful.  He couldn't quit apologizing!!!

Worst one I ever sat through was No Country For Old Men.  The  whole movie was violent and just screamed "evil" to me but I sat through it only to get to that ending that just seemed like the Cohen brothers got tired of playing filmmaker and walked away.  I was pissed that I sat through all that awfullness for that terrible what-the-hell-just-happened ending.

Avengers was awful.  Watching it with a raging migraine didn't help its cause any, either.

Terminator 2.  Could not wait for that movie to end so I could end my equally-lousy date and go home.  And just my luck, it's the movie that just never ends!

Ted.  'nuff said.

Agree on Pulp Fiction, can take or leave T2, never saw the others, except for Avengers which I frankly cannot disagree more with... although you having a migraine during a loud, flashy action movie might have colored that.  ;)
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: AfleetAlex on November 08, 2013, 10:25:23 AM
I really didn't care for 2001: A Space Odyssey either. I started fast-forwarding through the headache-inducing visuals at the end and I'm still not sure what happened.

And as someone said upthread, Boxing Helena was awful. Also, the second X-Files movie - and I LOVED the show beginning to end. But that second movie was a mess.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: nuit93 on November 08, 2013, 10:33:37 AM
Rock of Ages.  I couldn't even finish watching it. :P

I couldn't look away.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: jaxsue on November 08, 2013, 10:36:00 AM
*snip*

My husband has Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter at home waiting for us to watch together. I am dreading it...I'd like to say I hope it'll have some redeeming value to it, but...hmmm....I suspect it will belong on this list as well.


Just the title made me laugh  ;D It intrigued me so much that I looked up the storyline and chuckled some more. I sounds like an excellent candidate for the so-bad-it's-good award and I kind of want to see it now. Wonder if it will come to Australia.


Confession: I've watched that movie twice. Yes, twice. Am I proud of that? No.  :-[
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: jaxsue on November 08, 2013, 10:37:14 AM
I love scary movies, even campy scary movies. So last year a friend gave me "Hillbillies in a Haunted House." Absolutely the worst movie I've seen...ever!
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: stargazer on November 08, 2013, 11:24:12 AM
Last weekend I saw, against my will, The Human Centipede.  My DH asked I wanted to see the sequel too (like I wanted to see the first?) and I rolled my eyes at him and told him to just READ the wiki of the sequel and tell me if he really wanted to see that.  He quickly agreed after skimming it that maybe he could skip it.   I can't believe there's going to be a third.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Hmmmmm on November 08, 2013, 11:35:43 AM
DH and I will state that Godfather III was the absolute worst movie we ever. There's only 2 movies I've ever walked out of, that one and Bugsy.

But we are now starting to create quiet the list of movies we watch at home an can't finsih. The latest is R.I.P.D with Jeff Bridges and Ryan Reynolds. Just so bad.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: LB on November 08, 2013, 11:36:02 AM
I have a list...I'm hard on movies, I think. But these are my top worst ones.

Butterfly Effect
Mystery Men
Failure to Launch
Shallow Hal
Grease 2
I Know Who Killed Me
Because I Said So
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Petticoats on November 08, 2013, 01:20:37 PM
Last weekend I saw, against my will, The Human Centipede. 

Wow.  :o  That's cruel and unusual punishment. I think I'd go sit out in the lobby if anyone shanghaied me to that one.

Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: BeagleMommy on November 08, 2013, 01:47:51 PM
Hansel & Gretl Witch Hunters.  I couldn't even watch it simply for Jeremy Renner.  It was just that awful.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: anonever13 on November 08, 2013, 02:35:05 PM
I'm only partway through the thread, but I had to add my pick.

The Doctor.  Worst movie ever, so boring.  When I was in high school my friend wanted to see it in the theater.  We went, and he loved it, but I hated it.  We were meeting up with another friend a couple of hours later to see another movie.  Unfortunately for me he talked her into seeing it again that day!  I had to sit through it again because he drove.  In retrospect, I should have called my parents to come pick me up.

I agree SyFy has some of the best monster animal bad movies.  One of my favorites was (and might have the title wrong) Mega Python vs. Gatoroid.  Debbie Gibson vs. Tiffany, what could be better!
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: cwm on November 08, 2013, 03:01:05 PM
Pulp Fiction and Reservoir Dogs. I just can't stand them. I doubt I'll ever try a Tarantino movie again. Everyone I know talks him up so high, but I just don't like the style. The plot was loose at best, and I didn't care if the characters lived or died or what happened to them.

2001: A Space Odyssey. I tried to watch it several times, and every time I fall asleep. It does not bode well if it can't keep my interest when I'm well-rested and ready to watch it.

The Big Lebowski. I tried to watch a few minutes and had to leave, it just did not appeal to me at all. Also, one of my exes seemed to think that this was the only movie in the world worth watching, and how stupid did I have to be that I'd never seen it, and we should watch it right now (despite it already being 2 in the morning). No, thanks, I'll pass.

Rocky Horror Picture Show. Yeah, there's a few catchy songs, but I was finally forced to sit down and watch it this year, and I just don't see the appeal. Luckily it was just the background at a Halloween party, but there was no other room in the house to socialize in, so I was stuck. And then everyone started making plans to go to a theater interactive version, and they all looked at me like I had three heads when I declined going with them. I have never felt so out of place before.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: cabbagegirl28 on November 08, 2013, 03:26:34 PM
Worst one I ever sat through was No Country For Old Men.  The  whole movie was violent and just screamed "evil" to me but I sat through it only to get to that ending that just seemed like the Cohen brothers got tired of playing filmmaker and walked away.  I was pissed that I sat through all that awfullness for that terrible what-the-hell-just-happened ending.

That ending was awful. I don't want to spoil it, so I'll just say if that was what I was supposed to take from that gore and violence, well crud, I could have figured out the essential message out myself.

I had to watch NCfOM for class about the devil and the problem of evil, so it's not like I could get out of watching it. But I will never watch that again.

Last weekend I saw, against my will, The Human Centipede.  My DH asked I wanted to see the sequel too (like I wanted to see the first?) and I rolled my eyes at him and told him to just READ the wiki of the sequel and tell me if he really wanted to see that.  He quickly agreed after skimming it that maybe he could skip it.   I can't believe there's going to be a third.

If someone tried to make me see that, I would find any way I could to leave the premises. I already don't like horror as it is. Sorry for anyone who actually watched and liked that movie, but I consider that absolute filth. IMO, there was no reason for that thing to be made. The fact that there are sequels is even more messed up. If someone I cared about tried to make me see that, we would be due for a very serious conversation, to say the least.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: carol1412 on November 08, 2013, 03:31:45 PM
Oz The Great And Powerful.

Insipid writing, horrible acting, a waste of good costumes and Rachel Weiss's talents. The only reason we watched it through to the end was the constant hope that it couldn't be this bad and had to get better.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Library Dragon on November 08, 2013, 03:32:56 PM
Agreed that No Country For Old Men was a waste of film/tape/binary code, whatever was used to record it.  DH and I kept waiting for the point of the film.  Nope, there was none.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: GlitterIsMyDrug on November 08, 2013, 03:40:40 PM
Last weekend I saw, against my will, The Human Centipede.  My DH asked I wanted to see the sequel too (like I wanted to see the first?) and I rolled my eyes at him and told him to just READ the wiki of the sequel and tell me if he really wanted to see that.  He quickly agreed after skimming it that maybe he could skip it.   I can't believe there's going to be a third.

There's a twisted a little part of me that really wants to see that movie. I try to keep that part of me quiet.

Worst movie I saw was, Garage Band. It was just, it was so bad. And really I like a lot of stuff other people consider bad. A lot of movies I like are in the so bad they're good group. But no, that was just bad bad.

I'm not a Titanic fan either. I saw it when it came out in theaters, I was pretty young and was bored for most of the movie. I've seen as an adult, I'm still bored.

The original The Hills have Eyes, is one that's so campy horror, it's awesome. The remake is just gore-porn.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: rose red on November 08, 2013, 03:48:53 PM
Last weekend I saw, against my will, The Human Centipede.  My DH asked I wanted to see the sequel too (like I wanted to see the first?) and I rolled my eyes at him and told him to just READ the wiki of the sequel and tell me if he really wanted to see that.  He quickly agreed after skimming it that maybe he could skip it.   I can't believe there's going to be a third.

I have no problem with horror type movies, but that one sound too icky even for me.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: alkira6 on November 08, 2013, 04:20:12 PM
Oz The Great And Powerful.

Insipid writing, horrible acting, a waste of good costumes and Rachel Weiss's talents. The only reason we watched it through to the end was the constant hope that it couldn't be this bad and had to get better.

Thank You! I knew that I couldn't be the only one who hated this.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: stargazer on November 08, 2013, 05:05:09 PM
Last weekend I saw, against my will, The Human Centipede.  My DH asked I wanted to see the sequel too (like I wanted to see the first?) and I rolled my eyes at him and told him to just READ the wiki of the sequel and tell me if he really wanted to see that.  He quickly agreed after skimming it that maybe he could skip it.   I can't believe there's going to be a third.

I have no problem with horror type movies, but that one sound too icky even for me.

The truth is, even though I closed my eyes for much of it, from what I saw it's not super gory.  The sequel, on the other hand, is rumored to show all the blood and everything that the first does not show.  No, thank you.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Editeer on November 08, 2013, 05:09:21 PM
DH and I will state that Godfather III was the absolute worst movie we ever.

I've walked out of (or fallen asleep during) plenty of bad movies that I've since forgotten. Godfather III was definitely among the worst I ever watched to the end. I kept thinking, "It's GOT to get better eventually!"
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Hillia on November 08, 2013, 05:21:24 PM
DH and I will state that Godfather III was the absolute worst movie we ever.

I've walked out of (or fallen asleep during) plenty of bad movies that I've since forgotten. Godfather III was definitely among the worst I ever watched to the end. I kept thinking, "It's GOT to get better eventually!"

Truly awful movie. Al Pacino at the beginning of his 'doing Al Pacino impressions instead of acting' phase.  However, it did give me one of my favorite lines: 'Every time I get out, they pull me back in'.  You have to do the hand gestures for full effect.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: jedikaiti on November 08, 2013, 05:38:09 PM
Quentin Tarantino is definitely not for everyone - you either love it or hate it.


I just thought of another worst: Austin Powers. I only saw the first one, and it was two hours of my life I will never get back. Actually, since it was on TV, probably longer with commercial breaks.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on November 08, 2013, 06:03:54 PM
Austin Powers: Goldmember.  Just when you think they can't get more disgusting...
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: cutejellybeen on November 09, 2013, 07:30:09 AM

The Big Lebowski. I tried to watch a few minutes and had to leave, it just did not appeal to me at all. Also, one of my exes seemed to think that this was the only movie in the world worth watching, and how stupid did I have to be that I'd never seen it, and we should watch it right now (despite it already being 2 in the morning). No, thanks, I'll pass.


I wonder if we had the same ex lol not only was it the only movie worth watching....it should be watched at LEAST once a week. I hated it to begin with. He also ruined Vanilla Sky that way...which I had previously loved
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: *inviteseller on November 09, 2013, 09:03:37 PM
I loved from Dusk til Dawn, but it does seem like 2 entirely different movies pasted together.  My BFF and I were eating pizza rolls and enjoying George Clooney then BAM GOREGOREGORE...we stopped eating!

I tend to hate most movies everyone raves over..if I am constantly being told I have to see it 9 times out of 10 I am disappointed.  I cannot watch anything with Tom Cruise..never liked him, I think ET is stupid, why the heck does everyone think Sideways and The Royal Tannebaums were so great?  I want those wasted hours back.  The first time I saw Cars was my DD's 11th birthday and I was 4 days away from having my younger DD, so I thought I didn't like it because I was an uncomfortable bloated mess, but got it when it came out on DVD and realized it was just Owen Wilson's voice, which is like nails down a chalkboard.  I will say my favorite bad movie that I love to watch is The 10 Commandments..overacting at it's very best !
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Yarnspinner on November 09, 2013, 11:26:50 PM
There are several....

Koyanasquatsi (which I may have misspelled) was something friends wanted to see at a local college movie night.  I wasn't thrilled by the notion of sitting through an hour plus of images proving the planet is dying to start and the fact that I was in the middle of a very painful perimenopause did not make the movie easier to watch.  I kept getting up and going outside to get fresh air.  I don't think the movie was two hours long, but it seemed to last longer than the the seven hour flight I took between New York and Shannon Ireland. 

Cannot stand slob comedies. 

Almost any film my brother recommends I know is going to be something I hate and I always feel guilty that I cannot seem to laugh hysterically with any sort of realism at these flicks the way he does.  "There's Something About Mary" made me feel paralyzed with horror as I watched my brother and former sister in law gasp for breath because they were laughing so hard.  Ditto "Office Space".  I try to find humor in these things because my brother seems to be embarrassed and hurt that I don't find these things screamingly funny.

Rick O:  Love Bill Pullman, hate, hate, hate this modern take on Rigoletto.  (Especially a recurring song that is SO filthy it hurts to hear it.  The writer and director claimed they used it because in the opera, "La Dame Immobile" was considered a shocking song and they wanted a shocking song worthy of the 21st century.  I think they wanted to see if they could get away with playing a song about various kinds of painful scrabble over and over again for fun.)

Agree with others about "Sideways".  What was the point.

Suspect was sooooo bad and such a waste of time.

And, with the exception of Night at the Museum and Keeping the Faith, a good way of keeping me away from a film is to use these three little words: Starring Ben Stiller.  ("Starring Leonard DiCaprio" also works well.)

Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: MariaE on November 10, 2013, 05:44:34 AM
And, with the exception of Night at the Museum and Keeping the Faith, a good way of keeping me away from a film is to use these three little words: Starring Ben Stiller.  ("Starring Leonard DiCaprio" also works well.)

Agreed. Love the two NotM movies, but cannot stand Ben Stiller afterwards - likewise Adam Sandler except "The Wedding Singer" and Leonardo except "Inception".

I used to feel the same about Jim Carrey, but he's gotten better after he got out of his "Dumb and Dumber" stage.

"27 Dresses" and "How to Loose a Guy in 10 Days". Possibly the two worst chickflicks I've ever seen.
"Before Midnight" totally ruined "Before Sunrise" and "Before Sunset" for me.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on November 10, 2013, 07:04:35 AM
And, with the exception of Night at the Museum and Keeping the Faith, a good way of keeping me away from a film is to use these three little words: Starring Ben Stiller.  ("Starring Leonard DiCaprio" also works well.)

Agreed. Love the two NotM movies, but cannot stand Ben Stiller afterwards - likewise Adam Sandler except "The Wedding Singer" and Leonardo except "Inception".

I used to feel the same about Jim Carrey, but he's gotten better after he got out of his "Dumb and Dumber" stage.

"27 Dresses" and "How to Loose a Guy in 10 Days". Possibly the two worst chickflicks I've ever seen.
"Before Midnight" totally ruined "Before Sunrise" and "Before Sunset" for me.

I'm the same way about Ben Stiller and Tom Cruise (except for A Few Good Men).  I'm not too crazy about Owen Wilson but he doesn't bother me too much in "Cars", I think because for me it's seeing his face in tandem with that voice.  His expressions always remind me of an oily car salesman, so if I don't have to see the voice, I'm good. 

"The Gods Must Be Crazy I and II"- Okay there are some chuckle worthy bits but I never have quite gotten what's so howlingly funny about those movies. 
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Last_Dance on November 10, 2013, 09:11:02 AM
May I add a movie even though there's no way I'm going to see it because the trailer was enough?

I can't remember the title - it's a French romantic comedy (ah!)

What I got from the trailer: Hot Girl is engaged and about to marry Hot Successful Guy. Because of family history and various empirical evidence, she thinks first marriages never last and only second marriages are successful.
A friend suggests (perhaps jokingly? It wasn't clear) she find a "loser guy", marry him and divorce him before her wedding to Hot Successful Guy.

Hot Girl meets Loser Guy on a plane and decides to actually do it. Then she doesn't even have the guts to dump him and starts acting terrible toward him so he will dump her. (Am I supposed to find it funny?)

But wait, it turns out that Loser Guy is actually a good man! But then he finds out she only married him so she could divorce him and, oh no, he's heartbroken! But she likes him now! But she's still engaged to the other guy  - who will she choose?

The trailer mercifully stops here.

My guess is: Hot Girl  Heartless Witch dumps Hot Succesful Guy (probably at the altar for maximum drama) and reunites with Loser Guy to live happily ever after.
Happy ending for everybody!  (yeah, right!  >:()

The only way this movie would end happily for me would be if both Hot Successful Guy and Loser Guy gave Heartless Witch an epic "Reasons You're Horrible" Speech and dumped her, but I'm not holding my breath over it.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: metallicafan on November 10, 2013, 10:36:01 AM
So bad it's good:  Sharknado.  I did find myself hoping throughout that Tara Reid would get eaten by a shark.  Literally the worst actress I've ever seen.  At least Ian Ziering was trying to earn his paycheck.

Movie that I had to turn off after 5 minutes:  Rock of Ages.  I could watch Grease all day long.  But this, was sooo bad I couldn't take it. 
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: BarensMom on November 10, 2013, 11:44:55 AM
I agree:  Rock of Ages was incredibly bad.  It didn't help that SIL was singing along with the track - I'm surprised we didn't get booted from the theater.

Has anyone mentioned "Grindhouse?"  It is truly bad.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on November 10, 2013, 11:59:08 AM
Rock of Ages is one where I thought I could get past Tom Cruise's presence only to discover it just wasn't going to happen.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: jaxsue on November 10, 2013, 02:01:17 PM
So bad it's good:  Sharknado.  I did find myself hoping throughout that Tara Reid would get eaten by a shark.  Literally the worst actress I've ever seen.  At least Ian Ziering was trying to earn his paycheck.

Movie that I had to turn off after 5 minutes:  Rock of Ages.  I could watch Grease all day long.  But this, was sooo bad I couldn't take it.

Now that Netflix has Sharknado, I can finally watch it. Yeah, I aim high!  :)
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: jaxsue on November 10, 2013, 02:01:59 PM
Another nominee: The Beach. A horrible movie. So bad I didn't care when characters were being killed off!
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: raininshadows on November 10, 2013, 04:09:28 PM
Ratatoing. It's like Ratatouille, or at least marketed as such, but it's the horrible ripoff version. The first 5-10 minutes are all about how awesome the chef's food is; I disagree, on the grounds that any sausage that moves of its own volition is not to be eaten (probably an animation error, but it still moves). There is also a sequence repeated three times with absolutely no changes and the most illogical dance scene ever committed to film. Finally, the film ends with the antagonists (a group of rats) being sent to a laboratory. The main characters seem to be not at all concerned about this.

For "I only saw the trailer": Anchorman 2. Racism, sexism, and reckless endangerment just aren't funny to me. Why the trailer ran before Ender's Game, I have no idea. (Ender's Game was good, though!)
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: andi on November 10, 2013, 05:49:50 PM
Another nominee: The Beach. A horrible movie. So bad I didn't care when characters were being killed off!

Oh gracious YES!  For me it's a toss up between that and "Grease2" for the grand prize
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: daen on November 10, 2013, 06:17:02 PM
Another nominee: The Beach. A horrible movie. So bad I didn't care when characters were being killed off!

Oh gracious YES!  For me it's a toss up between that and "Grease2" for the grand prize

Oh, Grease 2! I watched that with a couple of friends in college, and a few minutes in, we started mocking it mercilessly. All but one of us - the one who suggested it, and who, it turns out, loves it.  Poor girl. We tried to rein ourselves in after that, but we didn't quite manage.

I tried watching it again a few years ago, on the assumption that it was so-bad-its-good. It wasn't. I managed five minutes.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Wittyone on November 10, 2013, 06:22:32 PM
DH and I just watched Grease 2 last night ;D. We flipped between that and the Miss Universe pageant and had a great time mocking both. 
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on November 10, 2013, 06:56:01 PM
Equestria Girls.  Proof that Hasbro really is all in it for the marketing of toys and cares very little about putting out any kind of decent entertainment.  Even my Brony DH dislikes it and invited me to watch it knowing I would not hold back on the snark, and contributed some of his own.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: nuit93 on November 10, 2013, 07:03:21 PM
Another nominee: The Beach. A horrible movie. So bad I didn't care when characters were being killed off!

Oh gracious YES!  For me it's a toss up between that and "Grease2" for the grand prize

Oh, Grease 2! I watched that with a couple of friends in college, and a few minutes in, we started mocking it mercilessly. All but one of us - the one who suggested it, and who, it turns out, loves it.  Poor girl. We tried to rein ourselves in after that, but we didn't quite manage.

I tried watching it again a few years ago, on the assumption that it was so-bad-its-good. It wasn't. I managed five minutes.

Oh, the earworms from Grease 2...I started off an unintentional firestorm on FB once by casually responding to a question with "yes, do it for your country!".
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Yarnspinner on November 10, 2013, 08:16:59 PM
Another one:  Withnail and I.  Reviews suggested it was a laugh a minute comedy fest so funny your sides would ache. 

Aside from starring the future Eighth Doctor and Richard Grant (who made a fairly good, if rather snotty, Scarlett Pimpernel in a badly written series) there was nothing to recommend it.  No,wait....there is a scene where "I"  (that would be the Eighth Doctor) and "Withnail" for some reason are stuck in a field where there is a bull charging at them.  That was the scene that made me laugh, just like the scene in "Sideways" where Paul Giamatti drives his car into a tree using a rock on the gas pedal makes me laugh.  Sadly, neither of those scenes are enough to recommend either movie.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: readingchick on November 11, 2013, 10:16:31 AM
Ted. Making jokes about ALS/Lou Gehrig's disease was in bad taste and after that it just spoiled the whole thing.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on November 11, 2013, 10:21:14 AM
Ted. Making jokes about ALS/Lou Gehrig's disease was in bad taste and after that it just spoiled the whole thing.

Wow, really? Dh watched that one once and when I asked how it was he said "You're not missing anything." Indeed!

Listening to a Thomas DVD, I'm reminded of one I found on Netflix that supposedly involved pirates.  They even somehow got the rights to use the POTC theme in the opening, as Thomas and crew chug down tracks which I thought was kinda neat but that's where the neatness ended. :P The rest was awful.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: cwm on November 11, 2013, 10:24:00 AM
So bad it's good:  Sharknado.  I did find myself hoping throughout that Tara Reid would get eaten by a shark.  Literally the worst actress I've ever seen.  At least Ian Ziering was trying to earn his paycheck.

Movie that I had to turn off after 5 minutes:  Rock of Ages.  I could watch Grease all day long.  But this, was sooo bad I couldn't take it.

Now that Netflix has Sharknado, I can finally watch it. Yeah, I aim high!  :)

It's the best of the worst! I went into it expecting it to be terrible and campy, and wasn't disappointed. That's why I love it, I got exactly what I expected out of it, nothing more, nothing less.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Yarnspinner on November 11, 2013, 11:28:26 AM
So bad it's good:  Sharknado.  I did find myself hoping throughout that Tara Reid would get eaten by a shark.  Literally the worst actress I've ever seen.  At least Ian Ziering was trying to earn his paycheck.

Movie that I had to turn off after 5 minutes:  Rock of Ages.  I could watch Grease all day long.  But this, was sooo bad I couldn't take it.

Now that Netflix has Sharknado, I can finally watch it. Yeah, I aim high!  :)

It's the best of the worst! I went into it expecting it to be terrible and campy, and wasn't disappointed. That's why I love it, I got exactly what I expected out of it, nothing more, nothing less.

What's not to love?  Anything that features a man cutting himself out of a shark with a chainsaw is just awesome in my book.  The only thing this flick lacked was Bruce Campbell and a few zombie sharks for variety.  Has anyone seen "Ghost Shark"?  It appears to have potential but doesn't seem to be as campy as Sharknado.

And as long as we are mocking SyFy...did anyone see "Scarecrow" over the Halloween season?  According to reviews on IMDB, most people watched because "Lacey Chabert is smokin' hawt"  (actual quote).  I always thought there was nothing more senseless than Sharktopus (what is the fixation with sharks?)  But this movie seemed to have been randomly scripted by several writers drinking at one's house where they each took turns writing a scene and leaving only the last line of their scene for the next writer to read and continue from.  No actual exposition, no background, plenty of clichés, no explanations and a denoument straight out of a fourth grader's notebook.  I have no interest in the "smokin' hawt" Lacey Chabert (although one of her bad boy potential love interests was pretty darn cute) but this movie was fun to watch and imagine how the writers probably thought they were setting tropes on their ear when all they really did was reinforce them.

As someone said at the end "So, exactly how is she going to explain all the dead bodies and, oh yeah, how did the vast farm end up right next to a shipyard on a river near a sawmill?"
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Yarnspinner on November 11, 2013, 11:40:58 AM
Darn...SyFy is just too good to pass up.  Did anyone see Heebie Jeebies?  Several Chinese workers are accidentally (or maybe deliberately) entombed in a gold mine when it blows up.  Over the years they have (inexplicably, BTW--these flicks NEVER explain how the monsters come to be or why) a terrible beast, formed from the mummified bodies of these men, has been freed from the mines and is (first explanation) killing anyone who has gold. 

Richie Cunningham's Mother dies for her gold fillings (at least her dog lived to tell the tale) and you can write the rest of it.  A Belushi nephew (don't know if he's John's son or Jim's) has the lead as the town Sheriff whose Chinese girlfriend lives with her grandmother who, for plot purposes, pretends not to speak or comprehend English...and then there are the hunters who are supposed to round up the monster.  This movie is bigoted in its attitude toward minorities, small fat white men and elderly women who live alone with their dogs and would make an excellent drinking game: 

Take a sip with each new body encountered.  Take a swallow if  the person finding the corpse turns away and gasps something like "He's been torn to shreds, there's hardly anything left!"  Take a full gulp when the camera shifts to a completely intact actor (in some cases still breathing) with a few scratches on his or her face.  Guzzle everytime the heroine and her grandmother yell at each other in Chinese.  Upend the glass and pour it all down your throat when Gramma-san explains to the hero that, by pretending she doesn't understand or speak English, she has learned a lot about her granddaughter's life.  (Yes, her geologist granddaughter is SO STUPID she doesn't realize her grandmother with whom she has lived for years, speaks English.)

It's a serious blast.  Still nowhere near as good as Sharknado, but with potential for amusement.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: KimberlyM on November 11, 2013, 12:01:50 PM
Apparently I am a glutton for punishment...after reading this, I decided to go read the wiki pages on human centipede one and two.  Wasn't something I'd even heard of and I love a good horror movie, but that's not even horror...that's just disgusting.  I had a similar reaction to Hostel, which while horrifyingly disgusting, at least had some sort of plot beyond being just gross.

Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: BeagleMommy on November 11, 2013, 02:03:27 PM
I had fogotten about Grease 2.  Worst song from this atrocity?  "Reproduction".   'Nuff said.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Slartibartfast on November 11, 2013, 02:41:25 PM
On the topic of Sharknado, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TAqwdu0u_EE

(Plug for one of the few Dragon*Con [science fiction convention] bumpers I got to write this year!)
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Yarnspinner on November 11, 2013, 07:07:46 PM
On the topic of Sharknado, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TAqwdu0u_EE

(Plug for one of the few Dragon*Con [science fiction convention] bumpers I got to write this year!)
I would watch Hurricannibals and Avalanchovies. 

If I was tied up and had my eyes propped open with toothpicks.  <insert grinning smiley that never seems to work for me here.>
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: andi on November 11, 2013, 07:14:23 PM
I had fogotten about Grease 2.  Worst song from this atrocity?  "Reproduction".   'Nuff said.

Oh - you just HAD to go there, didn't you?? Evil  ( reaches for the brain bleach)

"Sharknado" rocked!!  They did big screen showings of it here. Love those movies!
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Miss Misery on November 11, 2013, 08:21:49 PM
Freddy Got Fingered: Tom Green swings a baby around by its umbilical cord while screaming "Wakey! Wakey! Wakey!" Need I say more?

Red Dragon:  Ralph Fiennes was tragically miscast.  With his baby face and lisp, Edward Norton just couldn't bring the intensity the Will Graham character needed.  Harvey Keitel and Philip Seymour Hoffman sleepwalk through their roles.  The director totally botches Freddy's death scene. Really, how could a movie with such a great cast be so bad?

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra: I swear Channing Tatum and Sienna Miller were having a contest to see who could deliver the laziest, half-@ssed performance. They could have been replaced with cardboard cutouts and tape recorders and nobody would have noticed. Actually, that might have been an improvement. Miller won a well deserved Razzie for Worst Supporting Actress.

Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on November 11, 2013, 08:54:03 PM
Can't remember if its been mentioned, I probably have but just to be sure I'll throw out "Astronaut's Wife" with Charlize Theron and Johnny Depp.  He hasn't done too many bad ones but oh lordy that was a stinker. 

There's only so much good actors can do with an awful script.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: PeterM on November 11, 2013, 09:33:23 PM
I had fogotten about Grease 2.  Worst song from this atrocity?  "Reproduction".   'Nuff said.

All yáll are ignorant nincompoops. That's right, I said it. Nincompoops! Grease 2 is an awesome movie. The only reason it's not the awesomest movie ever made is because it's tied for that honor with Flash Gordon. If Grease 2 had somehow managed to get Brian Blessed in its cast, it would be the undisputed champion.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Vall on November 11, 2013, 10:16:20 PM
For fun, my DH and I decided to watch all of the movies that were nominated for best picture (not just the winners).  We checked the movies out from the library and started with movies made in the thirties and ended with the nineties.  Some were really excellent, a few were horrible and most were somewhere in between.  The truly horrible ones:

The Great Dictator.  A Charlie Chaplin film from 1940.  We couldn't stand it and turned it off after about 20 minutes.  There were some great movies that year but this one was a dud.

Taxi Driver.  A 1976 film with Robert De Niro and Jodie Foster.  It was horrible,slow and boring but we watched the whole thing.  It seemed to take forever and we were relieved it was finally over.  Even hearing the name of it makes us cringe.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Daydream on November 11, 2013, 11:15:25 PM
Howard the Duck was the first movie that came to mind when I saw this thread title.  I did a (Google) search and see that others have mentioned it, too.  I was in my early teens and watched it on TV a couple of years after it came out with my male cousin who was the same age. 

It was horribly awful and unfunny to me.  But he was laughing uproariously!  I remember looking at him and wondering if he really thought it was funny or if he was just laughing at how bad it was, but he really seemed to like it.

Also, I took my nephew to see a Pokemon movie he wanted to see when he was about 12 or 13 years old.  I don't know the title.  Oh boy, it was awful!   It also seemed to be geared toward children much younger than him, but he thought it was great.  (I didn't mention any of my thoughts about it to him)
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: WolfWay on November 12, 2013, 12:26:52 AM
Season of the Witch (starring Nicholas Cage and Ron Perlman).

I seem to end up seeing every Nicholas Cage movie that comes out (because either it's fun, or else it's awful and thus fun in a different way), and Ron Perlman is usually the most fun thing about a movie he's in, so odds were this was going to be a funny/awful movie.

Nope. I gave up half way through, partially because I was bored out of my mind but mostly because I couldn't hear the stilted dialogue over the sound of my brain screaming "WIG! WIG! WIGGITYWIGWIG!" every single time I looked at Nicholas Cage.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Venus193 on November 12, 2013, 11:28:46 AM
Cage's remake of The Wicker Man was appallingly bad.  The original with the late Edward Woodward was excellent.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: andi on November 12, 2013, 01:08:12 PM
"Season of the Witch" was on the other night - glad I skipped it
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: BarensMom on November 12, 2013, 02:26:34 PM
Of more recent vintage, I nominate "The Tourist."  No chemistry at all between Johnny Depp and Angela Jolie, at all. period.

My DH was watching "To Live and Die in LA" over the weekend.  That was a stinker.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: lowspark on November 12, 2013, 02:37:34 PM
It's always fun to read these threads to see how divergent peoples' tastes can be. Some of the most hated mentioned are my absolute favorites. Casablanca, Dr. Strangelove, Inglourious Basterds, to name a few.

Last Year at Marienbad, which someone mentioned way up thread is definitely my worst ever but I don't really count it as much because it was meant to be an arty film and whenever someone sets out to make a "film for the sake of art and anyway only intelligent high brow people will understand it so if you don't love it you must be stupid", it's pretty much going to be bad. I don't mind if they think I'm stupid.

The worst mainstream movie I've ever seen is Rachel Getting Married, which incomprehensibly got nominated for some Oscars. Yuck.
A close second was Blue Velvet. It was awful.

Some comments on other films that were mentioned:
Les Misérables - The play in the theatre was phenomenal. The movie was awful.  It was long and boring.
Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Slayer - Look, you have to figure by the title it's not going to be the most serious intelligent movie ever. I thought it was very entertaining for what it was. Lots of action and fun stuff. Nothing earth shattering but I definitely enjoyed it.
Moulin Rouge - This is one of those films that people either love or hate. The first time I watched it, it took me about 30 minutes to get it. Once I did, I fell in love with it.
Anything by the Coen Brothers or Quentin Tarantino -- you either love their stuff or you don't. I do. But I completely understand why some don't. After Fargo came out and was so incredibly popular, I know people who went to see The Big Lebowsky thinking it was going to be like Fargo. The thing is, it was, in a way... it was very Coen Brothers -esque. But the thing about the Coens, all their movies are very different from each other, different genres, different kinds of plots, etc. They're all really good (IMO) but in completely different ways.
What About Bob? – I know I saw that movie, but for the life of me, I can’t remember a thing about it except that Richard Dreyfus was bothering someone else.  I tend to block out bad movies unless they’re so bad I can’t block them out.


Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: lowspark on November 12, 2013, 02:37:52 PM

I liked the movie, but I don't think that the idea was to necessarily like either of the lead characters. Just laugh at them for their bizarre dance to see who could get the most attention. I imagine a sequel set 10 years into the future where Bob is now the esteemed arrogant psychologist and Dreyfus is a nutty patient that drives him insane...and they switch places again.


It came off to me as "Let's laugh at this guy because he has a mental illness!" - granted, the movie's pretty old by now, but I think that's the part that bothers me the most.  (As with any movies with that general setup - "Let's laugh at Napoleon Dynamite because he's a social reject!"  "Let's laugh at how the blind guy and the deaf guy could have totally caught that bad guy if they had been sighted and had normal hearing!")

+1 for shout out to, I believe, See No Evil, Hear No Evil.

That's the one  :)  I actually kind of liked it, but the humor based around the main characters' disabilities really bothered me.

They were trying to capitalize on the great chemistry between Gene Wilder and Richard Pryor that had made Silver Streak such a great movie. Problem was, no matter how good the actors, if a movie is silly, it's silly. See No Evil, Hear No Evil was cute, but it couldn't hold a candle to Silver Streak.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: lowspark on November 12, 2013, 02:38:06 PM
I love scary movies, even campy scary movies. So last year a friend gave me "Hillbillies in a Haunted House." Absolutely the worst movie I've seen...ever!

I just looked that up on IMDB where it got a whopping 1.9 rating out of 10. I've never seen anything get a rating that low. I've got to see if I can get my hands on a copy.  8)

There's a song by The Austin Lounge Lizards called Hillbillies in a Haunted House. It's pretty funny.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Petticoats on November 12, 2013, 03:15:10 PM
Les Misérables - The play in the theatre was phenomenal. The movie was awful.  It was long and boring.

Les Mis was the worst-edited movie I've ever seen. No establishing shots. How did Fantine's head end up floating into Valjean's death scene? Bewildering lack of context. And a real lack of orienting the characters in space/setting/relation to each other. If I hadn't seen the show onstage, I would have had no idea how Eponine got shot.

I also would have had no idea what people were saying. The sound editor should have mixed the multi-voice, multi-verse bits (like Eponine singing over Cosette & Marius's love song) so that we could actually distinguish one voice and phrase when it was important, instead of pushing all the volume up equally all the time.... GAH!

And holding on someone's face for an entire song is moronic. In the theater, you can let your eye wander during a song if you want. No such luck in the film. The movie medium would have been better employed *adding* to the song by, for example, visualizing in flashback what Fantine was singing about. But to plunk the camera down in front of a singer's face and leave it there? That's some lazy, unimaginative filmmaking. Yeah, I get that we want some close-ups to show how much emoting the actors are doing. Fine. But do something else from time to time!

Basically, this looked to me like a film directed and edited by people who had no idea how to direct or edit.

Whew, I've been holding on to that for a while. :)
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: jedikaiti on November 12, 2013, 03:25:11 PM
It's always fun to read these threads to see how divergent peoples' tastes can be. Some of the most hated mentioned are my absolute favorites. Casablanca, Dr. Strangelove, Inglourious Basterds, to name a few.

Yea - I love Tarantino in general, and 2001 A Space Odyssey is one of my favorite movies ever (I also adore Arthur C Clarke's entire series of Odyssey books, but thought the script for the movie for 2010 was horrifically and unnecessarily dated).
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: cwm on November 12, 2013, 03:34:40 PM
Les Misérables - The play in the theatre was phenomenal. The movie was awful.  It was long and boring.

Les Mis was the worst-edited movie I've ever seen. No establishing shots. How did Fantine's head end up floating into Valjean's death scene? Bewildering lack of context. And a real lack of orienting the characters in space/setting/relation to each other. If I hadn't seen the show onstage, I would have had no idea how Eponine got shot.

I also would have had no idea what people were saying. The sound editor should have mixed the multi-voice, multi-verse bits (like Eponine singing over Cosette & Marius's love song) so that we could actually distinguish one voice and phrase when it was important, instead of pushing all the volume up equally all the time.... GAH!

And holding on someone's face for an entire song is moronic. In the theater, you can let your eye wander during a song if you want. No such luck in the film. The movie medium would have been better employed *adding* to the song by, for example, visualizing in flashback what Fantine was singing about. But to plunk the camera down in front of a singer's face and leave it there? That's some lazy, unimaginative filmmaking. Yeah, I get that we want some close-ups to show how much emoting the actors are doing. Fine. But do something else from time to time!

Basically, this looked to me like a film directed and edited by people who had no idea how to direct or edit.

Whew, I've been holding on to that for a while. :)

I think you've touched on why I was so disappointed in the film. I've never seen the live show, but it's on my list. The movie had the music, it had the costumes (not bad, but not what I had imagined with its budget), but BF came to see it with me and just didn't get it. He's seen the theatre show and loved it, but wasn't so impressed with the movie.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: violinp on November 12, 2013, 03:38:03 PM
Les Misérables - The play in the theatre was phenomenal. The movie was awful.  It was long and boring.

Les Mis was the worst-edited movie I've ever seen. No establishing shots. How did Fantine's head end up floating into Valjean's death scene? Bewildering lack of context. And a real lack of orienting the characters in space/setting/relation to each other. If I hadn't seen the show onstage, I would have had no idea how Eponine got shot.

I also would have had no idea what people were saying. The sound editor should have mixed the multi-voice, multi-verse bits (like Eponine singing over Cosette & Marius's love song) so that we could actually distinguish one voice and phrase when it was important, instead of pushing all the volume up equally all the time.... GAH!

And holding on someone's face for an entire song is moronic. In the theater, you can let your eye wander during a song if you want. No such luck in the film. The movie medium would have been better employed *adding* to the song by, for example, visualizing in flashback what Fantine was singing about. But to plunk the camera down in front of a singer's face and leave it there? That's some lazy, unimaginative filmmaking. Yeah, I get that we want some close-ups to show how much emoting the actors are doing. Fine. But do something else from time to time!

Basically, this looked to me like a film directed and edited by people who had no idea how to direct or edit.

Whew, I've been holding on to that for a while. :)

That's the real trouble. Empty Chairs at Empty Tables in the movie was the awkwardest thing ever without Les Amis d'ABC there to visually remind the audience.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: cheyne on November 12, 2013, 04:11:20 PM
I had fogotten about Grease 2.  Worst song from this atrocity?  "Reproduction".   'Nuff said.

All yáll are ignorant nincompoops. That's right, I said it. Nincompoops! Grease 2 is an awesome movie. The only reason it's not the awesomest movie ever made is because it's tied for that honor with Flash Gordon. If Grease 2 had somehow managed to get Brian Blessed in its cast, it would be the undisputed champion.

I forgot about Flash Gordon.  I don't want to date myself, but I saw Flash in the theater on it's opening weekend!  Awesome movie  >:D
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on November 12, 2013, 04:34:16 PM
I will agree about the editing of Les Mis. There's one part in the song between Marius and Cosette near the end and they chop the song up so oddly so that when she sings "Don't think about it, Marius..." Don't think about what? They cut out what he says ("Every day, I wonder every day, who was it brought me here, from the barricade") so that if you don't know you're left scratching your head, and if you do know, you're just annoyed.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: WolfWay on November 12, 2013, 10:03:13 PM
I had fogotten about Grease 2.  Worst song from this atrocity?  "Reproduction".   'Nuff said.

All yáll are ignorant nincompoops. That's right, I said it. Nincompoops! Grease 2 is an awesome movie. The only reason it's not the awesomest movie ever made is because it's tied for that honor with Flash Gordon. If Grease 2 had somehow managed to get Brian Blessed in its cast, it would be the undisputed champion.

I forgot about Flash Gordon.  I don't want to date myself, but I saw Flash in the theater on it's opening weekend!  Awesome movie  >:D
Oh Flash... so dreadful yet so very wonderful at the same time.  ;D
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: SCMagnolia on November 13, 2013, 09:22:08 AM
Quote
Quote from: SCMagnolia on November 08, 2013, 10:40:46 AM
Worst one I ever sat through was No Country For Old Men.  The  whole movie was violent and just screamed "evil" to me but I sat through it only to get to that ending that just seemed like the Cohen brothers got tired of playing filmmaker and walked away.  I was pissed that I sat through all that awfullness for that terrible what-the-hell-just-happened ending.

That ending was awful. I don't want to spoil it, so I'll just say if that was what I was supposed to take from that gore and violence, well crud, I could have figured out the essential message out myself.


My BIL was just watching this the other night.  I had called to talk to my sister and he answered and I asked what he was doing.  He told me and I said "Oh, THAT movie...  The ending is just unbefreakin'lieveable."  Unfortuately, he thought that meant the movie had an awesome ending....

He called me when it was all over and said I was no longer his favorite sis-in-law and that the VERY least I could have done for my only brother-in-law was to warn him that the ending was going to suck!!!!

I thought I did!   ???
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: rose red on November 13, 2013, 09:43:15 AM
Re Les Mis.  In the live show, each of the students had names and a personality and lines.  In a play full of characters, you still know who each of them were.  In the movie, they don't have individual lines and you don't know who's who; they are just generic background players.  I will never forgive them for the blandness of Do You Hear the People Sing, and for cutting Grantaire's lines in Drink With Me.

Also, Eddie Eedmayne's (Marius) voice annoyed me.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Petticoats on November 13, 2013, 09:54:15 AM
Re Les Mis.  In the live show, each of the students had names and a personality and lines.  In a play full of characters, you still know who each of them were.  In the movie, they don't have individual lines and you don't know who's who; they are just generic background players.  I will never forgive them for the blandness of Do You Hear the People Sing, and for cutting Grantaire's lines in Drink With Me.

Also, Eddie Eedmayne's (Marius) voice annoyed me.

I thought Russell Crowe was markedly weaker in his singing than just about everyone else. Plus he always looked to me like he was having to concentrate really hard to hit the notes and was having some anxiety about his ability to pull it off. :D
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: twiggy on November 13, 2013, 10:11:04 AM
I can't believe no one has mentioned Ferngully in Space.....Avatar? I fell asleep during the movie twice. The 3-D flight scenes made me motion sick. I honestly don't understand all the hype about it.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Twik on November 13, 2013, 10:12:11 AM
There are movies that are so bad they're good, and movies that are so bad they're a blight on civilization.

The best bad movies are those made by people with genuine imagination (even if warped) with a very limited budget. There's a spark there, even if the monster is  a man in a gorilla suit with a diving helmet.

Campy movies that are intended to be campy are like trying to tickle yourself. It just doesn't have the same effect.

The worst movies to sit through are those made by people with a lot of resources, who simply won't make the effort to do anything inspired. I think you could make a drinking game out of Pearl Harbor, where you take a sip every time the movie does just what you saw coming a mile away, and a swig every time there's a plot hole that could have been easily fixed by a 10th grader doodling in their history notebook during class. But the risk of alcohol poisoning is too great.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: 123sandy on November 13, 2013, 10:16:47 AM
I hated Titanic, The English Patient, Ted, It's a Wonderful Life (sorry), all of those Mike Meyers English spy films...Austin Powers? And the worst one I've seen (well, not really I don't think I made it past the first half hour) was...I think it was Bill Murray and Scarlett Johansen in Japan? The name escapes me, but it was dreadful!
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: blueyzca01 on November 13, 2013, 10:29:13 AM
I hated Titanic, The English Patient, Ted, It's a Wonderful Life (sorry), all of those Mike Meyers English spy films...Austin Powers? And the worst one I've seen (well, not really I don't think I made it past the first half hour) was...I think it was Bill Murray and Scarlett Johansen in Japan? The name escapes me, but it was dreadful!

^^Lost in Translation
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: eltf177 on November 13, 2013, 10:34:18 AM
It's always fun to read these threads to see how divergent peoples' tastes can be. Some of the most hated mentioned are my absolute favorites. Casablanca, Dr. Strangelove, Inglourious Basterds, to name a few.

Yea - I love Tarantino in general, and 2001 A Space Odyssey is one of my favorite movies ever (I also adore Arthur C Clarke's entire series of Odyssey books, but thought the script for the movie for 2010 was horrifically and unnecessarily dated).

I first read the condensed version of 2010 in Pl*yb*y, then read the entire novel. I _loved_ it. Then I saw the movie and wondered *just what in the blazes is this mess?* Too many unnecessary changes...
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: 123sandy on November 13, 2013, 10:50:17 AM
I hated Titanic, The English Patient, Ted, It's a Wonderful Life (sorry), all of those Mike Meyers English spy films...Austin Powers? And the worst one I've seen (well, not really I don't think I made it past the first half hour) was...I think it was Bill Murray and Scarlett Johansen in Japan? The name escapes me, but it was dreadful!

^^Lost in Translation

Thank you!
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on November 13, 2013, 11:08:14 AM
I suppose technically I can't even say "Saving Private Ryan" because I kept falling asleep.  It came out to DVD around the time my DH was in boot camp (Marines) and my friends at the time kept insisting I watch it and saying I was being disloyal to my DH by falling asleep during a movie about WWII.  I couldn't even make it past the part where they storm the beach. I was just that bored by it. 

I felt justified though when DH came home and they decided to tell on me.  We all watched it again and I fell asleep, again, and he said he wasn't offended.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: siamesecat2965 on November 13, 2013, 11:44:43 AM
Last weekend I saw, against my will, The Human Centipede.  My DH asked I wanted to see the sequel too (like I wanted to see the first?) and I rolled my eyes at him and told him to just READ the wiki of the sequel and tell me if he really wanted to see that.  He quickly agreed after skimming it that maybe he could skip it.   I can't believe there's going to be a third.

I have no problem with horror type movies, but that one sound too icky even for me.

The truth is, even though I closed my eyes for much of it, from what I saw it's not super gory.  The sequel, on the other hand, is rumored to show all the blood and everything that the first does not show.  No, thank you.

I attempted to watch the trailer and was so grossed out by simply the concept there is NO way i could watch the movie. gory or not.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: LB on November 13, 2013, 11:48:36 AM
Freddy Got Fingered: Tom Green swings a baby around by its umbilical cord while screaming "Wakey! Wakey! Wakey!" Need I say more?


You could have stopped at "Tom Green" and I'd have understood.  ;D
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: siamesecat2965 on November 13, 2013, 11:53:48 AM
I tend to hate most movies everyone raves over..if I am constantly being told I have to see it 9 times out of 10 I am disappointed.  I cannot watch anything with Tom Cruise..never liked him, 

Are you my long-lost sister? Beacuse I am the same way. I seem to like movies that no one cares about, has ever heard of, or have no interest in.  and it seems the more "hype" there is surrounding a movie (Titantic and Batman, I'm looking at you), the less interest I have in it.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: siamesecat2965 on November 13, 2013, 11:56:48 AM
There are several....

 Cannot stand slob comedies. 

Almost any film my brother recommends I know is going to be something I hate and I always feel guilty that I cannot seem to laugh hysterically with any sort of realism at these flicks the way he does.  "There's Something About Mary" made me feel paralyzed with horror as I watched my brother and former sister in law gasp for breath because they were laughing so hard.  Ditto "Office Space".  I try to find humor in these things because my brother seems to be embarrassed and hurt that I don't find these things screamingly funny.

  And, with the exception of Night at the Museum and Keeping the Faith, a good way of keeping me away from a film is to use these three little words: Starring Ben Stiller.  ("Starring Leonard DiCaprio" also works well.)

HA - another long list sister!  I feel the very same way. I call them, since this is the first one I  saw and realized I hated this type of movei "Police academy movies" I don't find them funny at all. 

I will say I also love Keeping the Faith. Haven't seen night at the museum, but anything else wiht him I haven't cared for. And Leo too. not a big fan at all. I don't know why, there's just something about him.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: AfleetAlex on November 13, 2013, 12:33:48 PM
If I already mentioned this in this thread a while back, please forgive me.

I loathed "Anchorman." And now the Ron Burgundy character is doing car commercials and they are so painful I lunge for the remote. And it's not that I don't find Will Ferrell funny. I do, in certain roles (Elf, Talladega Nights) and in certain amounts (when he's not the lead). But goodness, Anchorman was two hours I'll never get back.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: GregariousIntrovert on November 13, 2013, 12:35:26 PM
Tinker. Tailor. Soldier. Spy.     I know it's probably more realistic that government intelligence/espionage types work in offices, but it makes for a really boring spy movie.  A few people left the theater halfway into the movie, and I really wanted to go with them!  But I stuck it out for Colin Firth.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Pen^2 on November 13, 2013, 12:44:56 PM
If I already mentioned this in this thread a while back, please forgive me.

I loathed "Anchorman." And now the Ron Burgundy character is doing car commercials and they are so painful I lunge for the remote. And it's not that I don't find Will Ferrell funny. I do, in certain roles (Elf, Talladega Nights) and in certain amounts (when he's not the lead). But goodness, Anchorman was two hours I'll never get back.

I know how you feel. I just didn't find this movie particularly funny. It was more annoying, in the same way as when an immature 14 year old thinks he's being hilarious and keeps piling it on more thickly, but you just cringe and want him to shut up.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: ladyknight1 on November 13, 2013, 01:04:26 PM
Titanic, Sleepless in Seattle, Dirty Dancing. I will never suffer through any of them again. Once was enough.

I know this is O/T but Celine Dion's music became anathema to me after Titanic.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: jedikaiti on November 13, 2013, 01:08:20 PM
I can't believe no one has mentioned Ferngully in Space.....Avatar? I fell asleep during the movie twice. The 3-D flight scenes made me motion sick. I honestly don't understand all the hype about it.

I loooved it. Wanted to go live there.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: HGolightly on November 13, 2013, 02:02:25 PM
Ferngully inSpace was exactly what I thought of Avatar!! Great call. Pay DH and I frequently go to the movies togethe, buy our snacks together then say see you after your movie is done! We do not always agree on movies unless we know they are bad. On the upside, if he picks a movie that turns out to be bad, we enjoy mocking it. We were both underwhelmed by King Arthur (though I love Clive Owen). Every time someone said "Arthur" (very frequently) DH would lean over and add "king of the Britons". Luckily those around us started giggling too. It was hilarious.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Library Dragon on November 13, 2013, 02:49:40 PM
Pearl Harbor is on DS1's all time worst list.  As he said, "Who knew Japan bombed Pearl Harbor to break up a romance?" 

Titanic is also on my list and of course THE SONG that went on and on,  and was everywhere.  I know Billy Zane's Cal was supposed to be the bad guy, but he got credit just for putting up with Rose's mother.  Okay, it was also, 'You threw over Billy Zane for someone who looks like he's 14?' 
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Hillia on November 13, 2013, 03:08:39 PM
I've never seen Pearl Harbor, but every time it comes up I think of the love song from Team America:

I miss you more than Michael Bay missed the mark, When he made Pearl Harbor.
I miss you more than that movie missed the point, And that's an awful lot, girl.
And now, now you've gone away, And all I'm trying to say, is: Pearl Harbor sucked and I miss you.
I need you like Ben Affleck needs acting school, He was terrible in that film.
I need you like Cuba Gooding needed a bigger part, He's way better than Ben Affleck.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: cabbagegirl28 on November 13, 2013, 03:14:05 PM
If I already mentioned this in this thread a while back, please forgive me.

I loathed "Anchorman." And now the Ron Burgundy character is doing car commercials and they are so painful I lunge for the remote. And it's not that I don't find Will Ferrell funny. I do, in certain roles (Elf, Talladega Nights) and in certain amounts (when he's not the lead). But goodness, Anchorman was two hours I'll never get back.

I was forced to watch the unrated version of that movie on a church youth group bus ride. Unfortunately, the boys owning the DVD lied to my mom about it being unrated and said it was the PG-13 one.  >:(
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: BarensMom on November 13, 2013, 03:30:37 PM
Will Ferrell is right up there with Adam Sandler, Ben Stiller, Tom Cruise, and Ben Affleck in my "movies you couldn't get me to see even if you beat me with a stick" category.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: violinp on November 13, 2013, 03:56:36 PM
Tinker. Tailor. Soldier. Spy.     I know it's probably more realistic that government intelligence/espionage types work in offices, but it makes for a really boring spy movie.  A few people left the theater halfway into the movie, and I really wanted to go with them!  But I stuck it out for Colin Firth.

There's another adaptation that my dad likes better. The more recent one...all he has to say that's polite is, "Gary Oldman looks like a constipated owl." I watch it for Tom Hardy and Benedict Cumberbatch, since they work well together and have soothing voices. :P
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: cabbageweevil on November 14, 2013, 07:34:24 AM
Tinker. Tailor. Soldier. Spy.     I know it's probably more realistic that government intelligence/espionage types work in offices, but it makes for a really boring spy movie.  A few people left the theater halfway into the movie, and I really wanted to go with them!  But I stuck it out for Colin Firth.

There's another adaptation that my dad likes better. The more recent one...all he has to say that's polite is, "Gary Oldman looks like a constipated owl." I watch it for Tom Hardy and Benedict Cumberbatch, since they work well together and have soothing voices. :P

GI -- I feel with you, there.  Am not much of a filmgoer; but concluded decades ago -- after struggling thorough a couple of them -- that the spy novels by John Le Carre (the film T.T.S.S. adapted from one of those, with the same title) were not for me: I steer completely clear of them, and of films derived from them.  They just struck me as too gratuitously complicated, and sometimes needlessly weird -- for instance, the Soviet equivalent and opposite number and adversary of the British spymaster Smiley, is called Karla, yet he's a man -- in this context, why?  All the wheels-within-wheels and mirrors-within-mirrors and double / triple / quadruple / quintuple-crossing: I just didn't find all that stuff -- or Le Carre's writing of it -- interesting enough, to be worth the mental labour needed to try to make sense of it.

Largely I expect, because of my being male and elderly, and no film buff: I sometimes have the impulse to ask, "Who is this Benedict Cumberbatch entity -- and what a weird name to have -- of whom you Earthlings speak so much?"

Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Cherry91 on November 14, 2013, 07:48:07 AM
See Spot Run. I saw it when I was a kid and HATED it. It was too stupid for adults and too gross for kids (IMO).
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: MrTango on November 14, 2013, 08:15:44 AM
Star Trek V: The Final Frontier.  There are a few good one-liners in the film, but beyond that it's just evidence that William Shatner should never have been allowed to direct a TV commercial, let alone a whole film.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Diane AKA Traska on November 14, 2013, 08:28:32 AM
Star Trek V: The Final Frontier.  There are a few good one-liners in the film, but beyond that it's just evidence that William Shatner should never have been allowed to direct a TV commercial, let alone a whole film.

At least STV is better than the Abrahms version.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: cutejellybeen on November 14, 2013, 08:39:15 AM
I suppose technically I can't even say "Saving Private Ryan" because I kept falling asleep.  It came out to DVD around the time my DH was in boot camp (Marines) and my friends at the time kept insisting I watch it and saying I was being disloyal to my DH by falling asleep during a movie about WWII.  I couldn't even make it past the part where they storm the beach. I was just that bored by it. 

I felt justified though when DH came home and they decided to tell on me.  We all watched it again and I fell asleep, again, and he said he wasn't offended.

I've "seen" that movie twice. Both time I fall asleep while they are on the beach, and I wake up when Matt Damon is screaming at the end.  I dont get it.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on November 14, 2013, 08:59:42 AM
Star Trek V: The Final Frontier.  There are a few good one-liners in the film, but beyond that it's just evidence that William Shatner should never have been allowed to direct a TV commercial, let alone a whole film.

At least STV is better than the Abrahms version.

I watched "The Captains" since it was streaming on Netflix.  Basically Shatner "interviewing" the other actors who portrayed captains in the other ST series and the kid who plays Kirk in the newer movies.  And by "interviewing" I mean the others listening to Shatner as he talks about himself. 

The funny part is watching Sir Patrick Stewart and the others listen with some amusement to his narcissistic ramblings.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Kariachi on November 14, 2013, 09:34:19 AM
I agree with Titanic, I always say the hero in that movie was the iceberg.

My sister and father were at the Titanic Historical Society's annual banquet, and my sister was making conversation with another woman seated at their table. She commented that she'd met the woman's husband earlier and asked, 'And are you as much of a fan on the Titanic as he is?' as he had made quite an impression with his unbounded enthusiasm for things Titanic.

The wife fixed a baleful look upon my sister and replied, 'Actually, I'm a fan of the iceberg.'  ::)

Made me laugh.  Reminded me of the movie Lake Placid  (fairly rotten movie called a Horror-Comedy about a man-eating crocodile loose in the lake. )  Betty White is in it and has the best line in it.  "I'm rooting for the crocodile. I hope he swallows your friends whole. "

Okay, I'm still seriously behind on this thread, but I had to respond.

Lake Placid is awe-inspiring.
Lake Placid 2 is bad.
Lake Placid 3 is So Bad It's Good.
Lake Placid 4 was So Bad It's the Funniest Thing I Saw That Year.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: MrTango on November 14, 2013, 10:42:43 AM
Star Trek V: The Final Frontier.  There are a few good one-liners in the film, but beyond that it's just evidence that William Shatner should never have been allowed to direct a TV commercial, let alone a whole film.

At least STV is better than the Abrahms version.

I actually enjoyed the Abrams Reboot.  It's not the same Star Trek I grew up with, but they were at least fun to watch.  The one-liners and the cliche lines didn't seem as forced in the Abrams films as they did in V.

I remember one time I was having a Star Trek movie marathon with a bunch of friends (this was just before Generations came out in theaters).  When we got to the end of IV, there was about a half hour of serious discussion of whether we should just skip V and go straight to VI.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: DistantStar on November 14, 2013, 01:08:19 PM
In my personal canon, V didn't happen.  Neither did the TNG movies past First Contact.  And that's without getting into certain episodes of the various series - not too many, but as far as I am concerned, some things did not happen.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: nuit93 on November 14, 2013, 01:19:03 PM
Not the worst, but I want to add "Anne of Green Gables: The Continuing Story".

Why?  Because it took 13 years to make another sequel after "Anne of Avonlea" (which can be forgiven for not following the series because at least it made an effort to combine elements of three of the books), and they didn't even continue to follow the novel series.

I had hopes, but it was like the director didn't even try.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: HGolightly on November 14, 2013, 01:24:28 PM
Nuit93 I completely agree! Not only did they do aaa weird mosh mash but they brutalized my favourite book in the Anne series, Rilla of Ingleside. It also did not make sense to have a newly married Anne and Gilbert facing WW1 when that was their children's timeline as adults. I would have loved if they did House of Dreams instead or just did Rilla of Ingleside.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: nuit93 on November 14, 2013, 01:27:50 PM
House of Dreams had so many interesting characters in it that it would have stood alone perfectly.

My ideal way to wrap up the series:

-House of Dreams as the third movie.
-combine Ingleside and Rainbow Valley for the fourth movie.  A lot of it is side stories about the children which, while interesting, would make for weaker movies if they were separated.
-Rilla of Ingleside on its own for the fifth movie.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Diane AKA Traska on November 14, 2013, 01:39:22 PM
In my personal canon, V didn't happen.  Neither did the TNG movies past First Contact.  And that's without getting into certain episodes of the various series - not too many, but as far as I am concerned, some things did not happen.

In my personal canon, the only movies that DID happen are II, III, and VI.  The others are either too dull, too silly, or too badly written.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Redneck Gravy on November 14, 2013, 01:46:01 PM
In my personal canon, V didn't happen.  Neither did the TNG movies past First Contact.  And that's without getting into certain episodes of the various series - not too many, but as far as I am concerned, some things did not happen.

In my personal canon, the only movies that DID happen are II, III, and VI.  The others are either too dull, too silly, or too badly written.


I mostly agree with your numbering.  I love both of the new Star Trek's (for the fun & adventure) obviously they have taken great creative license from the original series. 

Star Trek I, the movie with the bald chick - ughh one of the worst films I have ever seen. Horrible is my best description and I'm feeling over generous with that.!
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: BeagleMommy on November 14, 2013, 02:11:48 PM
Can I add the movie version of Evita?  I saw the show on Broadway and loved it.  I have the original soundtrack with Patti LuPone and Mandy Patinkin.  It's fabulous.

The movie?  Ugh.  Antonio Banderas wasn't too bad and very pretty in the part of Che (but he looked a little too clean).  Madonna, as Eva, had the acting range of a brick.  Bad, seriously bad.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: JeanFromBNA on November 14, 2013, 02:38:31 PM
Recently, Melancholia.  I want that two hours of my life back.  Twenty minutes of Alexander Skarsgard was not worth it. Lars Von Trier movies have permanently gone on my "avoid" list, along with most superhero flicks.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Library Dragon on November 14, 2013, 02:39:44 PM
The film version of Evita even managed to make Jonathan Pryce dull and boring.  I can see the set, "No, Mr. Pryce you're actually acting.  It looks like your a living person next to Madonna.  Now, take it down a few more notches.  Yes, that's better, the cardboard cutout dimension is good."
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Hillia on November 14, 2013, 02:41:02 PM
Can I add the movie version of Evita?  I saw the show on Broadway and loved it.  I have the original soundtrack with Patti LuPone and Mandy Patinkin.  It's fabulous.

The movie?  Ugh.  Antonio Banderas wasn't too bad and very pretty in the part of Che (but he looked a little too clean).  Madonna, as Eva, had the acting range of a brick.  Bad, seriously bad.

And they gave her 'Another Suitcase in Another Hall'. Why?  The whole point of Evita is her power, taking control of her life...not mooning around about being victimized.
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: PeterM on November 15, 2013, 08:19:15 AM
Star Trek V: The Final Frontier.  There are a few good one-liners in the film, but beyond that it's just evidence that William Shatner should never have been allowed to direct a TV commercial, let alone a whole film.

I went to a Star Trek convention shortly after Star Trek V came out. They had someone fairly high up in the chain of command of Trek movers and shakers as a guest, and his speech was largely an apology for the movie. He did say that they thought Shatner hadn't done a bad job directing, and I think I mostly agree. Nothing inspired, but not the worst thing ever.

"Unfortunately," the suit said, "Bill also wrote the script..."
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Outdoor Girl on November 15, 2013, 08:31:22 AM
LOL
Title: Re: The worst movie you ever saw
Post by: Miss Misery on November 15, 2013, 09:03:16 AM
Girl Gang -- it starts out as a tacky 1950s scare film featuring immaculately groomed girls in torpedo bras as gang members.......then about halfway through it gives the viewer step-by-step instructions on how to shoot up heroin.  :o