Etiquette Hell

General Etiquette => Life...in general => Topic started by: MOM21SON on April 12, 2013, 06:05:01 PM

Title: My new neighbors have moved in! UPDATED, pg 4 post 52
Post by: MOM21SON on April 12, 2013, 06:05:01 PM
And they are already on my nerves.

For some reason they park on the grass about 12 feet from my bedroom window and have very loud phone conversations.

Since Wednesday I have cleaned their trash out of my yard 3 times.  It has been very windy and there is tons of trash on the side of their house.

There are 3 old TV's in the middle of the driveway.

How long is a reasonable amount of time to move in and "get settled?"  Like move your junk to a closed in area.
Title: Re: My new neighbors have moved in!
Post by: TeamBhakta on April 12, 2013, 06:10:42 PM
Politely tell them "My bedroom is close to where everyone is having phone conversations. I know you guys don't mean to wake me up, but it has happened several times."

As far as the TVs, you shouldn't say anything directly to them. Check with your town's code enforcement first. If it is a violation, let code enforcement deal with it. If they say it's allowed, though, you'll need to bite your tongue.
Title: Re: My new neighbors have moved in!
Post by: Amara on April 12, 2013, 06:16:09 PM
Are they renters or owners?
Title: Re: My new neighbors have moved in!
Post by: MOM21SON on April 12, 2013, 06:18:16 PM
Are they renters or owners?

Owners. 

Gah, my yard is not the neatest by any means.  Well it is picked up but no fancy landscaping or anything.
Title: Re: My new neighbors have moved in!
Post by: Erich L-ster on April 12, 2013, 08:44:24 PM
Is the trash "moving trash" such as boxes and stuff related to moving that is likely to be a short term thing or household trash?
Title: Re: My new neighbors have moved in!
Post by: Calistoga on April 12, 2013, 09:08:07 PM
Next time they're having a phone conversation, lean out the window and ask if they can move because you're trying to read/nap/not listen to their conversation but you can't help but hear.

Title: Re: My new neighbors have moved in!
Post by: Otterpop on April 12, 2013, 09:38:15 PM
I sympathize.  My "new neighbor" moved in 3 years ago and immediately started renovations.  Yay, property improvement!  Then, after the house was beautifully fixed up, she started having loud drunken parties until 3 or 4 am every other weekend (and she's a cop!).  I've been kept up all night and found errant trash in my backyard more than once.

I would try to talk to them, once, about the trash and the loud conversations.  If they are not receptive, call code enforcement and see what they can do.  Most people do not like the city on their tails.  That's what I had to resort to.  My neighbor and I no longer speak either.
Title: Re: My new neighbors have moved in!
Post by: cicero on April 13, 2013, 01:29:03 AM
Have you officially met/welcomed them? If not, I would start there. This may be an adjustment period or they may be annoying people. But I believe that when you have good neighbors it can be a blessing so start on as good tone-go over with a plate of cookies and introduce yourself, tell them which gas station ( or whatever) is is the better one, and then mention 'I notice you parked your cars on x, it's right below my bedroom window. Could you please park at Y spot? Thanks!'

If things don't get better then you go up the food chain.
Title: Re: My new neighbors have moved in!
Post by: MOM21SON on April 13, 2013, 08:17:50 AM
I am hoping te water bottles and plastic bags are only moving in mess.  This morning I woke up to something new,

I have a very nice oak tree on my side yard outside my window.  They now have chairs out there right along the property line but set for a nice shady conversation spot and the car is moved back a little. 
Title: Re: My new neighbors have moved in!
Post by: *inviteseller on April 13, 2013, 08:43:12 AM
I feel for you OP.  The people that lived next to me were surprised when we and the people on the other side suddenly decided to build fences.  I would introduce myself and then maybe point out the property line and explain that you can hear their phone conversations, and you would hate to them to think you were eavesdropping.  I would give them to the next garbage pick up to see how that pans out (moving detritus v garbage dump), especially if it has been windy.  They may not realize it is blowing into your yard.  I have had people joke that I should write a book about my experiences with crazy neighbors through the years (I seem to have a magnet for them) so I sympathize with anyone who just wants their home to be peaceful.
Title: Re: My new neighbors have moved in!
Post by: Poppea on April 13, 2013, 08:45:17 AM
I am hoping te water bottles and plastic bags are only moving in mess.  This morning I woke up to something new,

I have a very nice oak tree on my side yard outside my window.  They now have chairs out there right along the property line but set for a nice shady conversation spot and the car is moved back a little.

Play polka music out of your window?
Title: Re: My new neighbors have moved in!
Post by: Minmom3 on April 13, 2013, 09:57:28 AM
Lawrence Welk?!   8)
Title: Re: My new neighbors have moved in!
Post by: camlan on April 13, 2013, 10:49:39 AM
While I think introducing yourself and offering a neighborly plate of baked goods is always a good idea, I don't think I'd bring up the loud conversations at the same time. Smacks too much of "Here, I'm giving you cookies; now shut up."

Go over, introduce yourself, bring baked goods if you like. Tell them useful bits of information about the neighborhood and go home.

Then, the next time there's a loud conversation outside your window, poke your head out and cheerfully and politely ask them to lower their voices, as you can hear everything they are saying.

Then see what happens.
Title: Re: My new neighbors have moved in!
Post by: Possum on April 14, 2013, 11:34:26 AM
Next time they're having a phone conversation, lean out the window and ask if they can move because you're trying to read/nap/not listen to their conversation but you can't help but hear.
When I was in an apartment, I had a neighbor once who used to have very loud conversations by her open window.  It got old, so one day I started responding back to stuff she was saying, from within my own apartment.

Her: "Oh my god, did you hear what she said?"

Me: "No!  What?"

Her:  "Oh, he's such an bacon-fed knave."

Me: "No kidding, I hear that a lot about him."

She yelled at me (couldn't see me) to shut up, it was a private conversation...  But it worked.
Title: Re: My new neighbors have moved in!
Post by: BeautifulDisaster on April 14, 2013, 01:16:50 PM
I, too, just got new neighbors and I'm currently alternating between wanting to be neighborly and introduce myself and wanting to complain to the office (I live in a townhouse complex) about the door slamming, children squealing and loud music until 3 am this morning and now the trash strewn across the courtyard between our two homes (which are directly across from either).

I cannot wait until we buy a house.
Title: Re: My new neighbors have moved in!
Post by: siamesecat2965 on April 14, 2013, 03:04:11 PM
I, too, just got new neighbors and I'm currently alternating between wanting to be neighborly and introduce myself and wanting to complain to the office (I live in a townhouse complex) about the door slamming, children squealing and loud music until 3 am this morning and now the trash strewn across the courtyard between our two homes (which are directly across from either).

I cannot wait until we buy a house.

I have some  new neighbors in my courtyard as well. Since its nice out, we all have our windows open, and I think they can only communicate in one volume, LOUD. Add to that the fact that any noise echos all around and its annoying. Last night they must have had company as I heard yelling laughing and children screeching well past midnight. I was still up, but if it continues, I will be giving my buddy in the office a call
Title: Re: My new neighbors have moved in!
Post by: m2kbug on April 14, 2013, 07:36:36 PM
I'm going to say one week.  This is probably way too much time, but I have had a situation or two where I have had some big items that I couldn't deal with by myself, and it takes a little bit of time to make certain arrangements. 

If you're comfortable talking to these people in person about the noise, do so now.  They might not even be aware that they are causing a problem, in addition to the trash situation.  Other options are to make a complaint with the homeowner's association, landlord, or police. 

Title: Re: My new neighbors have moved in!
Post by: MOM21SON on April 18, 2013, 06:17:10 PM
I have a small update.  I bought a new blind for my bedroom window for that side and I am so glad I did.  The side of their house now contains, 4 very full garbage cans, A car bumper, and very big piles of loose trash that just blow around.  There is also laundry hanging on the chain link fence separating the backyards.  The chair is still there but not being used.

I guess I am just too "shy" to say anything.  I do not want a neighbor war and really they are on their own property.

We are considering putting in a wood fence on that side. 

Title: Re: My new neighbors have moved in!
Post by: Girly on April 19, 2013, 11:34:45 AM
Wood fences are very nice.... We put one up for our dogs, but it was very effective in blocking out the Kitty-Litter (instead of mulch) lined trees our neighbor has in his backyard.
Title: Re: My new neighbors have moved in!
Post by: alkira6 on April 19, 2013, 12:25:12 PM
Wood fences are very nice.... We put one up for our dogs, but it was very effective in blocking out the Kitty-Litter (instead of mulch) lined trees our neighbor has in his backyard.

Sorry, but how would this even work?
Title: Re: My new neighbors have moved in!
Post by: snowdragon on April 19, 2013, 12:31:44 PM
I, too, just got new neighbors and I'm currently alternating between wanting to be neighborly and introduce myself and wanting to complain to the office (I live in a townhouse complex) about the door slamming, children squealing and loud music until 3 am this morning and now the trash strewn across the courtyard between our two homes (which are directly across from either).

I cannot wait until we buy a house.

 We own.  The neighbors "across" the street rent. They are pigs.   They have their garbage "cans' out front ( illegal here) and toss their garbage out the door, if it hits the cans, great. If not -ohwell.  the porch is used for storage. and they take pleasure in annoying the homeowners closest to them. One family had to fence in their yard and driveway because these folks would use their property at will, including parking in the driveway 'because it's easier for us' .  So now that their preferred driveway is fenced off, they park on the street, and empty the crap from their car on to other people's lawns. Repeated complaints to the landlord - does nothing, they play the kid card and say the landlord is trying to evict them because they have kids and that the neighbors are only complaining because the kids "sometimes play in their yards"  neither is true - we are sick of the mess we have to pick up and live around because of their slovenly habits.   The kicker? The woman in this couple is a cop and the husband a fireman...they are not above "flashing" their badge to anyone who complains. 
  They even use our address to get their mail - because it's easier for them.  I simply write "not at this address" and send it all back and we have had a lawyer send a "cease and desist" letter.  They continue blithely on their way.
   My point in telling this story is that owning is not a guarantee that the neighbors won't be pigs. When we moved in the house in question was owned by an older woman and her son and well kept up. They died, the landlord bought it and we have had nothing but trouble with the tenants ever since. 
Title: Re: My new neighbors have moved in!
Post by: reflection5 on April 19, 2013, 01:36:55 PM
Quote
I cannot wait until we buy a house.

Quote
We own.  The neighbors "across" the street rent. They are pigs.

Quote
My point in telling this story is that owning is not a guarantee that the neighbors won't be pigs.

It is so true that home owners are not necessarily better neighbors.

Friends of mine bought a house in an upscale neighborhood, and their closest neighbors (also owners) have been a problem for a couple of years.  Lots of loud motocycles, drunken parties in the yard, loud music, kids running around squealing at all hours, grass that always needs cutting, junky cars in the yard……….and so on.
Title: Re: My new neighbors have moved in!
Post by: Otterpop on April 19, 2013, 02:25:28 PM
Wood fences are very nice.... We put one up for our dogs, but it was very effective in blocking out the Kitty-Litter (instead of mulch) lined trees our neighbor has in his backyard.

Sorry, but how would this even work?

Wood fences are solid.  Chain link is open and let's anything blow through.  I think poster meant the kitty litter no longer migrated into her yard.  OP would be blocking her "new" view of the neighbors garbage.

Good fence = better neighbor relations (most often).  OP, a tall hedge would also mitigate the sound.
Title: Re: My new neighbors have moved in!
Post by: magicdomino on April 19, 2013, 02:44:46 PM
Wood fences are very nice.... We put one up for our dogs, but it was very effective in blocking out the Kitty-Litter (instead of mulch) lined trees our neighbor has in his backyard.

Sorry, but how would this even work?

Wood fences are solid.  Chain link is open and let's anything blow through.  I think poster meant the kitty litter no longer migrated to her yard.  OP would be blocking her "new" view of the neighbors garbage.

Good fence = better neighbor relations (most often).  OP, a tall hedge would also mitigate the sound.

Don't know about Alkira6, but I was wondering about how useful kitty litter would be as a mulch.   It wasn't used kitter litter, was it?   :P
Title: Re: My new neighbors have moved in!
Post by: MOM21SON on April 19, 2013, 03:49:25 PM
I have thought about hedges but I would rather have their chairs by a fence than the hedges.

Two tall barstool type chairs have been added to the area as well as a office chair by the lounge chair in the front yard.

Our side yard and back yard have a chainlink fence.  Guess where laundry is hung to dry?  I am so happy that trees are right up to our side of that fence that there is no where to hang clothes.  Only the back fence in their yard.

The fence company is supposed to be by later to give a estimate.

It just squicks me out that people are hanging out right by my bedroom window.
Title: Re: My new neighbors have moved in!
Post by: reflection5 on April 19, 2013, 03:58:46 PM
Quote
Our side yard and back yard have a chainlink fence.  Guess where laundry is hung to dry?

Ugh. ::)
Title: Re: My new neighbors have moved in!
Post by: alkira6 on April 19, 2013, 05:46:37 PM
Wood fences are very nice.... We put one up for our dogs, but it was very effective in blocking out the Kitty-Litter (instead of mulch) lined trees our neighbor has in his backyard.

Sorry, but how would this even work?

Wood fences are solid.  Chain link is open and let's anything blow through.  I think poster meant the kitty litter no longer migrated to her yard.  OP would be blocking her "new" view of the neighbors garbage.

Good fence = better neighbor relations (most often).  OP, a tall hedge would also mitigate the sound.

Don't know about Alkira6, but I was wondering about how useful kitty litter would be as a mulch.   It wasn't used kitter litter, was it?   :P

Yeah, that. Kitty litter as mulch - it rains, turns to slime, dries out (it's clay) and becomes this barrier to moisture getting in.
Title: Re: My new neighbors have moved in!
Post by: Minmom3 on April 19, 2013, 09:52:55 PM
I, too, just got new neighbors and I'm currently alternating between wanting to be neighborly and introduce myself and wanting to complain to the office (I live in a townhouse complex) about the door slamming, children squealing and loud music until 3 am this morning and now the trash strewn across the courtyard between our two homes (which are directly across from either).

I cannot wait until we buy a house.

 We own.  The neighbors "across" the street rent. They are pigs.   They have their garbage "cans' out front ( illegal here) and toss their garbage out the door, if it hits the cans, great. If not -ohwell.  the porch is used for storage. and they take pleasure in annoying the homeowners closest to them. One family had to fence in their yard and driveway because these folks would use their property at will, including parking in the driveway 'because it's easier for us' .  So now that their preferred driveway is fenced off, they park on the street, and empty the crap from their car on to other people's lawns. Repeated complaints to the landlord - does nothing, they play the kid card and say the landlord is trying to evict them because they have kids and that the neighbors are only complaining because the kids "sometimes play in their yards"  neither is true - we are sick of the mess we have to pick up and live around because of their slovenly habits.   The kicker? The woman in this couple is a cop and the husband a fireman...they are not above "flashing" their badge to anyone who complains. 
  They even use our address to get their mail - because it's easier for them.  I simply write "not at this address" and send it all back and we have had a lawyer send a "cease and desist" letter.  They continue blithely on their way.
   My point in telling this story is that owning is not a guarantee that the neighbors won't be pigs. When we moved in the house in question was owned by an older woman and her son and well kept up. They died, the landlord bought it and we have had nothing but trouble with the tenants ever since.

Might it be worth your while to get a PO Box so they CAN'T get their mail before you return it to sender?  What horrible neighbors...
Title: Re: My new neighbors have moved in!
Post by: snowdragon on April 19, 2013, 10:03:09 PM
I, too, just got new neighbors and I'm currently alternating between wanting to be neighborly and introduce myself and wanting to complain to the office (I live in a townhouse complex) about the door slamming, children squealing and loud music until 3 am this morning and now the trash strewn across the courtyard between our two homes (which are directly across from either).

I cannot wait until we buy a house.

 We own.  The neighbors "across" the street rent. They are pigs.   They have their garbage "cans' out front ( illegal here) and toss their garbage out the door, if it hits the cans, great. If not -ohwell.  the porch is used for storage. and they take pleasure in annoying the homeowners closest to them. One family had to fence in their yard and driveway because these folks would use their property at will, including parking in the driveway 'because it's easier for us' .  So now that their preferred driveway is fenced off, they park on the street, and empty the crap from their car on to other people's lawns. Repeated complaints to the landlord - does nothing, they play the kid card and say the landlord is trying to evict them because they have kids and that the neighbors are only complaining because the kids "sometimes play in their yards"  neither is true - we are sick of the mess we have to pick up and live around because of their slovenly habits.   The kicker? The woman in this couple is a cop and the husband a fireman...they are not above "flashing" their badge to anyone who complains. 
  They even use our address to get their mail - because it's easier for them.  I simply write "not at this address" and send it all back and we have had a lawyer send a "cease and desist" letter.  They continue blithely on their way.
   My point in telling this story is that owning is not a guarantee that the neighbors won't be pigs. When we moved in the house in question was owned by an older woman and her son and well kept up. They died, the landlord bought it and we have had nothing but trouble with the tenants ever since.

Might it be worth your while to get a PO Box so they CAN'T get their mail before you return it to sender?  What horrible neighbors...

No, On most days I am here when the mailman comes and have turned in so much mail at the local post office, the postmaster is getting cranky. Cranky postmasters are not fun to deal with - for the people causing the problem.
Title: Re: My new neighbors have moved in!
Post by: NyaChan on April 19, 2013, 10:19:04 PM
Why is it easier for them to receive mail at your house rather than their own?
Title: Re: My new neighbors have moved in!
Post by: snowdragon on April 19, 2013, 10:29:05 PM
Why is it easier for them to receive mail at your house rather than their own?

because to recieve it at theirs the'd have to cut the grass and clean off the porch so the mailman can reach the box.
Title: Re: My new neighbors have moved in!
Post by: NyaChan on April 19, 2013, 10:40:10 PM
Ahh ok, lol I was wondering if perhaps they expected you to bring it over to them hand delivered to the door or something.  Not quite so drastic apparently.
Title: Re: My new neighbors have moved in!
Post by: johelenc1 on April 19, 2013, 10:49:03 PM
Why is it easier for them to receive mail at your house rather than their own?

because to recieve it at theirs the'd have to cut the grass and clean off the porch so the mailman can reach the box.

That is really the epitome of laziness. 

OP - I would be horrified.  It sucks, but I say a solid fence - as tall as allowed by your HOA or city standards - is in order.
Title: Re: My new neighbors have moved in!
Post by: Otterpop on April 20, 2013, 10:12:29 AM
Wood fences are very nice.... We put one up for our dogs, but it was very effective in blocking out the Kitty-Litter (instead of mulch) lined trees our neighbor has in his backyard.

Sorry, but how would this even work?

Wood fences are solid.  Chain link is open and let's anything blow through.  I think poster meant the kitty litter no longer migrated to her yard.  OP would be blocking her "new" view of the neighbors garbage.

Good fence = better neighbor relations (most often).  OP, a tall hedge would also mitigate the sound.

Don't know about Alkira6, but I was wondering about how useful kitty litter would be as a mulch.   It wasn't used kitter litter, was it?   :P

Yeah, that. Kitty litter as mulch - it rains, turns to slime, dries out (it's clay) and becomes this barrier to moisture getting in.

Oh silly me.  Thanks for clarifying.  I've never owned a cat (dogs, birds, guinea pigs, yes) so didn't think of kitty litter as a bad idea for mulch.  Wow, the things some people do!  This is why most new neighborhoods have HOAs.
Title: Re: My new neighbors have moved in!
Post by: MOM21SON on April 20, 2013, 12:00:50 PM
It gets crazier!

last night DH was complaining about how slow the internet has been running, then DS started in.  Well I knew it was slower but didn't pay that much attention since I am usually doing 10 things at once.

So, I spent the morning password protecting our router.  wonder if they will move away from the window now?
Title: Re: My new neighbors have moved in!
Post by: kherbert05 on April 20, 2013, 12:04:16 PM
That could explain their little gathering under your window. Wonder if they are going to knock on your door and demand the password.
Title: Re: My new neighbors have moved in!
Post by: JustCallMePat on April 20, 2013, 07:42:47 PM
That could explain their little gathering under your window. Wonder if they are going to knock on your door and demand the password.

You never know where they've been surfing to.  Stuff like this can lead to a knock on your door by uniformed men with accusations that you've been downloading and/or distributing very bad things.  ???
Title: Re: My new neighbors have moved in!
Post by: ladyknight1 on April 20, 2013, 09:29:33 PM
Did you arrange for the new fence?
Title: Re: My new neighbors have moved in!
Post by: MOM21SON on April 21, 2013, 06:38:58 PM
Did you arrange for the new fence?
They are emailing me a estimate.  It was pretty funny.  The guy said, "your backyard is already fenced, I bet I can guess where you want this one."

The chairs are still there and being used.
Title: Re: My new neighbors have moved in!
Post by: gramma dishes on April 21, 2013, 07:03:55 PM
I hope you're taking pictures of all this!  (Both Mom21Son and Snowdragon)

Title: Re: My new neighbors have moved in!
Post by: MOM21SON on April 21, 2013, 07:09:09 PM
I hope you're taking pictures of all this!  (Both Mom21Son and Snowdragon)

I have TONS of pictures on my phone and Ipod and they have been downloaded to my computer.
Title: Re: My new neighbors have moved in!
Post by: joraemi on April 23, 2013, 07:45:05 AM
I am so, so thankful for my awesome neighbors right now.

I hope the fence is within budget and that it helps the situation.  Evil Jo secretly hopes the new neighbors hate it to within an inch of their lives.  >:D
Title: Re: My new neighbors have moved in!
Post by: Kaypeep on April 23, 2013, 01:46:41 PM
Did you arrange for the new fence?
They are emailing me a estimate.  It was pretty funny.  The guy said, "your backyard is already fenced, I bet I can guess where you want this one."

The chairs are still there and being used.

Evil Kaypeep would be installing a new bee hive on the property line on your side, next to the chairs.   >:D
Title: Re: My new neighbors have moved in!
Post by: Girly on April 23, 2013, 04:17:42 PM
Wood fences are very nice.... We put one up for our dogs, but it was very effective in blocking out the Kitty-Litter (instead of mulch) lined trees our neighbor has in his backyard.

Sorry, but how would this even work?

Wood fences are solid.  Chain link is open and let's anything blow through.  I think poster meant the kitty litter no longer migrated to her yard.  OP would be blocking her "new" view of the neighbors garbage.

Good fence = better neighbor relations (most often).  OP, a tall hedge would also mitigate the sound.

Don't know about Alkira6, but I was wondering about how useful kitty litter would be as a mulch.   It wasn't used kitter litter, was it?   :P

Yeah, that. Kitty litter as mulch - it rains, turns to slime, dries out (it's clay) and becomes this barrier to moisture getting in.

He puts it around the trees so his outside cats 'have somewhere to go'. He just keeps dumping more and more on top as it rains/gets used/etc. In the summers, the smell was less than pleasant, to say the least.

Title: Re: My new neighbors have moved in!
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on April 23, 2013, 04:47:15 PM
I remember a joking post on fbook...or maybe it was a pin on Pinterest, suggesting naming your Wi-Fi "FBI Van #8" to freak out any neighbors trying to piggyback on your connection. ;)  >:D

We'd like to get a privacy fence for our yard instead of the privacy one it came with.  We're across the street from an ice cream place that also sells other treats and we've often found takeout cups in our backyard. (the alley runs past our house which most people on other blocks will walk down to get to the dairy.
Title: Re: My new neighbors have moved in!
Post by: JustCallMePat on April 23, 2013, 07:35:17 PM
Evil Pat here...  If you're tech savvy, monitor your router for wireless connections.  When you have the identifiers (the MAC addresses) of the offenders, set the router to allow them in while blocking all others.  Now it gets good.  Set the allowed usage times in five minute increments - five on, five off, five on, five off.  Add a few blocked hours here and there. Listen for moans of frustration from outside.  :o  Disallow certain protocols.  Have fun learning about security settings.  When you learn enough, block the intruders WiFi access altogether.  8)

Hey, it's *your* router and *you* are paying for the service!  You can adjust it any darn way you please as often as you please!  ;)
Title: Re: My new neighbors have moved in!
Post by: MOM21SON on April 28, 2013, 05:14:18 PM
The fence estimate came in less than we expected.  So I had them give a estimate for vinyl fencing and it was way over.

But anyway, DH dropped his denture yesterday and broke it so we have no budget for now. :-\

Now when is anyone going to pop out and tell me all this is a joke????

Title: Re: My new neighbors have moved in!
Post by: Possum on May 01, 2013, 10:57:50 AM
  They even use our address to get their mail - because it's easier for them. 
I'm not sure, but this might be illegal.  I know it is if they go into your mailbox.  Talk to your postman/woman, or to the local postmaster, and see if you can arrange it so anything addressed to them will not be put into your box.  If the porch/lawn is that bad, too, then the mailman won't deliver, and eventually they'll have to clean up (or start picking up their mail). 

Finally, if nothing else, start tossing their mail onto their lawn.  It's more respect than they show for the neighbors.

I'm sorry you have to deal with them.  They sound like they're horribly entitled, and I feel the worst for their kid.
Title: Re: My new neighbors have moved in!
Post by: reflection5 on May 01, 2013, 11:15:56 AM
  They even use our address to get their mail - because it's easier for them. 
I'm not sure, but this might be illegal.  I know it is if they go into your mailbox.  Talk to your postman/woman, or to the local postmaster, and see if you can arrange it so anything addressed to them will not be put into your box.  If the porch/lawn is that bad, too, then the mailman won't deliver, and eventually they'll have to clean up (or start picking up their mail). 

Finally, if nothing else, start tossing their mail onto their lawn.  It's more respect than they show for the neighbors.

I'm sorry you have to deal with them.  They sound like they're horribly entitled, and I feel the worst for their kid.

Agree with Possum.

They use your address to get their mail because you allow them to.  If you want it to stop report it to the post office and have it stopped.  In the interim, mark all their mail "Not at this address, Return to sender", and when you get a chance toss it all into a mailbox.  If they dare to ask about their mail, tell them your house is not a maildrop and the only mail you accept is for people who live at your address.
Title: Re: My new neighbors have moved in!
Post by: MindsEye on May 02, 2013, 06:50:45 AM
  They even use our address to get their mail - because it's easier for them. 
I'm not sure, but this might be illegal.  I know it is if they go into your mailbox.  Talk to your postman/woman, or to the local postmaster, and see if you can arrange it so anything addressed to them will not be put into your box.  If the porch/lawn is that bad, too, then the mailman won't deliver, and eventually they'll have to clean up (or start picking up their mail). 

Finally, if nothing else, start tossing their mail onto their lawn.  It's more respect than they show for the neighbors.

I'm sorry you have to deal with them.  They sound like they're horribly entitled, and I feel the worst for their kid.

Hmmm... well unfortunately you can't just trash their mail, even though I bet you are tempted to.  And I don't think that just tossing their mail on their lawn would have the desired effect...

But nothing says that you have to take their mail back to the post office right away, either.  If I were you, I might just hang on to all of that mail for a while - say, a month or two - and then bring it back to the post office in one big pile.   >:D
Title: Re: My new neighbors have moved in!
Post by: Cheapie on May 02, 2013, 10:02:11 PM
  They even use our address to get their mail - because it's easier for them. 
I'm not sure, but this might be illegal.  I know it is if they go into your mailbox.  Talk to your postman/woman, or to the local postmaster, and see if you can arrange it so anything addressed to them will not be put into your box.  If the porch/lawn is that bad, too, then the mailman won't deliver, and eventually they'll have to clean up (or start picking up their mail). 

Finally, if nothing else, start tossing their mail onto their lawn.  It's more respect than they show for the neighbors.

I'm sorry you have to deal with them.  They sound like they're horribly entitled, and I feel the worst for their kid.

Hmmm... well unfortunately you can't just trash their mail, even though I bet you are tempted to.  And I don't think that just tossing their mail on their lawn would have the desired effect...

But nothing says that you have to take their mail back to the post office right away, either.  If I were you, I might just hang on to all of that mail for a while - say, a month or two - and then bring it back to the post office in one big pile.   >:D

I really like this idea!  You could also get a locking mailbox.

Here's hoping they move out sooner than later!
Title: Re: My new neighbors have moved in!
Post by: Twik on May 02, 2013, 10:11:00 PM
Yep. "Return to sender - not at this address" for all of it. Problem will soon solve itself.
Title: Re: My new neighbors have moved in!
Post by: MOM21SON on June 10, 2013, 04:59:45 PM
Update!

Well, the language barrier is a real problem.  the parking the car under my window problem has stopped........so they could lay sod.

Over the weekend I tried to speak to them and showed them the flags.  They were very nice and said, "I know.  How are you."

They have dug up the old grass around the tree and have their chairs lined up around it.  I am at my wits end!  the good news is, that I emailed the fence guy and he was very nice and is coming this week and letting us make payments.

We ran into unforeseen circumstances and have not had the money, so this is very nice of him.

BTW, before I posted I ran outside to take a pic and they were all sitting there eating, under the tree, in my yard.

Oh, and I don't know if I shared this before or not, but I did have the tree trimmed and they watched the whole time, I thought that would let them know it is my yard.  No, he said, 'It's ok, cut it.  Thank you.'

I am not being mean and have come to terms with different cultures do different things.  I have no control over what they do in their yard.  I just am really sick of not feeling comfortable in my own bedroom.
Title: Re: My new neighbors have moved in! UPDATED, pg 4 post 52
Post by: WillyNilly on June 10, 2013, 05:06:11 PM
Originally I thought they were right up to the property line but in their yard - annoying but their right - now they have moved into your yard? Not cool! Make sure you let the fence guys know you are the only person to be listened to when he's installing that fence!
Title: Re: My new neighbors have moved in! UPDATED, pg 4 post 52
Post by: wheeitsme on June 10, 2013, 05:44:55 PM
Oh dear golly - they think it's their yard!  Good luck!
Title: Re: My new neighbors have moved in! UPDATED, pg 4 post 52
Post by: MOM21SON on June 10, 2013, 05:53:05 PM
I just took a picture and he came up and said, "Hi, how is your son.?"  I am trying to stay calm. 

Title: Re: My new neighbors have moved in! UPDATED, pg 4 post 52
Post by: TootsNYC on June 10, 2013, 05:53:26 PM
plant a lilac bush just outside your window? Or put a trellis and a fast-growing vine or some sort there? That might keep air circulation and a little bit of light, and still block the visual and maybe even SOME of the noise?
Title: Re: My new neighbors have moved in! UPDATED, pg 4 post 52
Post by: Minmom3 on June 10, 2013, 06:17:22 PM
Mom, if you KNOW exactly where the property line is, how about running string from the back line to the front, and getting a can of spray paint and spraying the line.  Then, when they ask, you can tell them you're putting up a fence and THIS is where it will be......  And when they put their chairs back under the tree in your yard, you can move them to the other side of the paint line, making the point that THIS is YOUR yard, and THAT is THEIR yard.
Title: Re: My new neighbors have moved in! UPDATED, pg 4 post 52
Post by: ladyknight1 on June 10, 2013, 06:18:04 PM
If ever a fence was needed it is now. Can you contact the local police department and see if they have someone that speaks their language to explain it to them?
Title: Re: My new neighbors have moved in! UPDATED, pg 4 post 52
Post by: Otterpop on June 10, 2013, 06:34:19 PM
MOM21SON I feel for you.  You're going to feel so much better once that fence is up.  Can you do as some have suggested and put some kind of temporary line up meanwhile?  Stakes and string are pretty cheap and look like the contractor is marking the property line ahead of building.
Title: Re: My new neighbors have moved in! UPDATED, pg 4 post 52
Post by: MOM21SON on June 10, 2013, 06:55:06 PM
The little orange flags are still up marking property lines.  I know I have to do something because it isn't fair to make the fence company do it.

I don't like confrontation, some may differ, but I really don't. 

I don't want to call the police or any authoritative figure for help.  I think that opens up a "well, I will just call the police, that's what she did."

I did send the pic I just took to the fence guy.  He gets it.
Title: Re: My new neighbors have moved in! UPDATED, pg 4 post 52
Post by: snowdragon on June 10, 2013, 07:10:24 PM
Are you near a city that would have an immigrant service? They could send a translator to explain things to them.  many places that serve immigrants also try to help them get to know the culture they moved to. It could help clear things up.

To the folks who posted about my situation. I have been sending things back for years. They persist in giving out our address. As I stated before I have gone as far as having a lawyer send them a cease and desist letter...and it did nothing.  The Post Master is aware of the situation and we are working with her to get things worked out.  But every complaint is met by these folks with claims of discrimination and flashing of the cop's badge. ( basically trying to insinuate that they can do what they want because she's a cop).
Title: Re: My new neighbors have moved in! UPDATED, pg 4 post 52
Post by: MummySweet on June 10, 2013, 07:12:59 PM
Mom21Son, If you know what language they speak, you might consider calling a local community organization or church of that ethnicity/background.  Explain that you are having difficulty explaining an important property issue to your neighbors because of the language barrier and ask if they might be able to help.    Many of these organizations have people who will volunteer as translators, particularly in cases where community harmony is concerned

*** Looks like Snowdragon beat me to it.   :)
Title: Re: My new neighbors have moved in! UPDATED, pg 4 post 52
Post by: MOM21SON on June 10, 2013, 07:20:14 PM
Mummysweet and Snowdragon, I am going to look into that.  When my old neighbors told me who would be moving in, they did tell me about the church that was helping them. 

Title: Re: My new neighbors have moved in! UPDATED, pg 4 post 52
Post by: cross_patch on June 10, 2013, 10:19:35 PM
I don't understand why you wouldn't say this is my yard?
ETA I see that you said these are the flags, but did you explicitly say this is my yard? Don't sit here?
Title: Re: My new neighbors have moved in! UPDATED, pg 4 post 52
Post by: *inviteseller on June 10, 2013, 10:33:08 PM
I don't understand why you wouldn't say this is my yard?

She has tried..they have a language barrier.  I feel for you MOM21SON, I had these neighbors.  Garbage, noise and the hedges and fence were not a deterrent at all they would just mosey on down my driveway to play in my yard.  The mother had a very thick accent, but her numerous kids (we actually lost count we know they ranged from newborn to 20's) knew English and I think when it came to trying to solve issues, she conveniently did not understand (they had been in this country at least 9 years by the time they finally moved).  I will say she did have an impressive command of swear words though.  The organization that helped them was a waste of time when we, the police, the schools, everyone complained...they went as far as to sue for discrimination on the families behalf when they were evicted from their 3rd place in 2 years (this was when I got them as neighbors and the landlord didn't care).  I think you do need to find a translator in the community that can help.
Title: Re: My new neighbors have moved in! UPDATED, pg 4 post 52
Post by: YummyMummy66 on June 11, 2013, 06:13:40 AM
I think you need to tell them that they cannot come into your yard and sit under your tree.

If something happens while they are sitting there, you will be held liable for any damages/injuries, etc.

Do they keep their chairs there? I would move them onto their property. 

I would put a "no trespassing" sign on your tree.
Title: Re: My new neighbors have moved in! UPDATED, pg 4 post 52
Post by: wonderfullyanonymous on June 11, 2013, 12:09:23 PM
Snowdragon, take pictures and bring it to the fire and police chief. Also, contact the newspaper, anonymously, of course, and make the situation a little more known.

Instead of turning the mail over right away, hang onto it for a week or so, then bring it to the postoffice, after contacting your lawyer again. Bring this to the police and fire chiefs attention as well. They may not be as amused about the usage of a badge being used to intimidate people as the ones doing the intimidating.


mom21son, all I can say is good luck, and the fence should work.
Title: Re: My new neighbors have moved in! UPDATED, pg 4 post 52
Post by: ladyknight1 on June 11, 2013, 12:13:16 PM
Would it do any good to post a sign in a language they do not speak? Do you have any friends or coworkers that might be able to assist with translation? I am not certain the fence contractor can do his work if there are people in the way.
Title: Re: My new neighbors have moved in! UPDATED, pg 4 post 52
Post by: MommyPenguin on June 11, 2013, 12:35:57 PM
If it's a commonly spoken language, I would think that somebody here would probably be able to give you some wording (Spanish, French, that sort of thing) that would be better than Google Translate, at least.  But, yeah, I'd also consider putting in some little stakes and actually attaching a line across the yard line (after moving their chairs back over to their yard).  As others have said, there's liability for having them in your yard, and making it clear where the fence line is would probably help for when the guys come to fence the yard.  I'd think there'd be a halfway decent chance that if you put in some sort of stakes where the orange flags are, then attach a clearly visible line (there is bright pink string, that sort of thing) around a foot high or something, it will make the fact that their yard ends there very clear, and I wouldn't be surprised if that were the end of it without you having to say anything.  If they just step over the line... well, then you've got people who are either *very* clueless or who are deliberately using your yard, and the next step might be necessary.  When does the fence go up?
Title: Re: My new neighbors have moved in! UPDATED, pg 4 post 52
Post by: SPuck on June 11, 2013, 01:00:23 PM
You should call your local officers non-emergency number, explain your situation and your documents, and ask them for advice on what you should do.
Title: Re: My new neighbors have moved in! UPDATED, pg 4 post 52
Post by: Zilla on June 11, 2013, 01:18:48 PM
I would use google translate to write out a simple note with the picture of them around your tree.  The note should say, You are on my property/You are in my yard and this is my tree.  I put up flags to show where your yard is.  Please stay behind the flags. Thank you.


And print it out and see if someone at the bank can assist you in making sure it's worded correctly.  Or even perhaps saying what language and someone on here can PM you as well.
Title: Re: My new neighbors have moved in! UPDATED, pg 4 post 52
Post by: MrTango on June 11, 2013, 01:23:10 PM
Are you near a city that would have an immigrant service? They could send a translator to explain things to them.  many places that serve immigrants also try to help them get to know the culture they moved to. It could help clear things up.

To the folks who posted about my situation. I have been sending things back for years. They persist in giving out our address. As I stated before I have gone as far as having a lawyer send them a cease and desist letter...and it did nothing.  The Post Master is aware of the situation and we are working with her to get things worked out.  But every complaint is met by these folks with claims of discrimination and flashing of the cop's badge. ( basically trying to insinuate that they can do what they want because she's a cop).

If someone did that to me, I'd have called the police department immediately and said that there is a person claiming to be a police officer harassing me.
Title: Re: My new neighbors have moved in! UPDATED, pg 4 post 52
Post by: Gyburc on June 13, 2013, 05:43:43 AM
MOM21SON, I hope you can find a way of getting the message across to your neighbours as soon as possible. I understand completely that you don't like confrontation - neither do I. And your new neighbours may be delightful people who simply don't understand how property lines work in a foreign country. But that is all the more reason to get this sorted out straight away, for their benefit as much as for yours.

Of course, it could also be that they are actually jerks who are using the language barrier as a way of getting to do what they want at your expense. But the same applies - the sooner this is sorted out the better.

I hope it goes well!
Title: Re: My new neighbors have moved in! UPDATED, pg 4 post 52
Post by: AmethystAnne on June 25, 2013, 02:35:19 PM
Mom21Son.......is there anything new?
Title: Re: My new neighbors have moved in! UPDATED, pg 4 post 52
Post by: MOM21SON on June 25, 2013, 03:18:14 PM
Mom21Son.......is there anything new?

Yes there is!  I have been super busy and haven't been around much.  But anyway...

I am so proud of myself!

A few days after my last post, they had company.  I took my chances and walked out into the yard and they were all hanging out.

They said Hello, and I said hello back, then I just stated, "This tree is in my yard and those windows are our bedrooms and I don't want people hanging outside my window."

One of the men that was visiting said ok.  Then spoke in their language.  My neighbors smiled and moved all their stuff right then and haven't been back since! 

I am SOOOOOOOO happy, but I am telling you I was shaking so bad.  It was a very hard thing for me to do.

I am still getting the fence, the guy has been really busy so he will call when he is ready.  I want to be able to open my blinds and windows when it gets cooler.
Title: Re: My new neighbors have moved in! UPDATED, pg 4 post 52
Post by: NyaChan on June 25, 2013, 03:20:00 PM
Yay!  I love a nice success story :D
Title: Re: My new neighbors have moved in!
Post by: jedikaiti on June 25, 2013, 03:28:23 PM
Evil Pat here...  If you're tech savvy, monitor your router for wireless connections.  When you have the identifiers (the MAC addresses) of the offenders, set the router to allow them in while blocking all others.  Now it gets good.  Set the allowed usage times in five minute increments - five on, five off, five on, five off.  Add a few blocked hours here and there. Listen for moans of frustration from outside.  :o  Disallow certain protocols.  Have fun learning about security settings.  When you learn enough, block the intruders WiFi access altogether.  8)

Hey, it's *your* router and *you* are paying for the service!  You can adjust it any darn way you please as often as you please!  ;)

OK, I know I am WAY behind, but this is the epitome of Evil Genius. I <3 Evil JustCallMePat.

And, BTW, eHellions, if your home wifi isn't password protected, please go do so ASAP. If you don't know how, contact your ISP, the store you bought your router from, or the router manufacturer - someone will be able to help you.
Title: Re: My new neighbors have moved in! UPDATED, pg 4 post 52
Post by: desireesgranny on June 25, 2013, 05:44:00 PM
Are you near a city that would have an immigrant service? They could send a translator to explain things to them.  many places that serve immigrants also try to help them get to know the culture they moved to. It could help clear things up.

To the folks who posted about my situation. I have been sending things back for years. They persist in giving out our address. As I stated before I have gone as far as having a lawyer send them a cease and desist letter...and it did nothing.  The Post Master is aware of the situation and we are working with her to get things worked out.  But every complaint is met by these folks with claims of discrimination and flashing of the cop's badge. ( basically trying to insinuate that they can do what they want because she's a cop).

You are much more patient than I am. Once I had notified the neighbors to stop sending their mail to my address, EVERY piece of mail thereafter that belonged to them would have gone straight into the trash.
Title: Re: My new neighbors have moved in! UPDATED, pg 4 post 52
Post by: Hillia on June 25, 2013, 08:11:27 PM
Are you near a city that would have an immigrant service? They could send a translator to explain things to them.  many places that serve immigrants also try to help them get to know the culture they moved to. It could help clear things up.

To the folks who posted about my situation. I have been sending things back for years. They persist in giving out our address. As I stated before I have gone as far as having a lawyer send them a cease and desist letter...and it did nothing.  The Post Master is aware of the situation and we are working with her to get things worked out.  But every complaint is met by these folks with claims of discrimination and flashing of the cop's badge. ( basically trying to insinuate that they can do what they want because she's a cop).

You are much more patient than I am. Once I had notified the neighbors to stop sending their mail to my address, EVERY piece of mail thereafter that belonged to them would have gone straight into the trash.

Even better, would be saved and taken to the local police department and fire station.  In general, they frown upon misue of the badge.  Then who knows?  Local newspaper?  Local TV station?
Title: Re: My new neighbors have moved in! UPDATED, pg 4 post 52
Post by: Shoo on June 25, 2013, 10:48:40 PM
Are you near a city that would have an immigrant service? They could send a translator to explain things to them.  many places that serve immigrants also try to help them get to know the culture they moved to. It could help clear things up.

To the folks who posted about my situation. I have been sending things back for years. They persist in giving out our address. As I stated before I have gone as far as having a lawyer send them a cease and desist letter...and it did nothing.  The Post Master is aware of the situation and we are working with her to get things worked out.  But every complaint is met by these folks with claims of discrimination and flashing of the cop's badge. ( basically trying to insinuate that they can do what they want because she's a cop).

You are much more patient than I am. Once I had notified the neighbors to stop sending their mail to my address, EVERY piece of mail thereafter that belonged to them would have gone straight into the trash.

Even better, would be saved and taken to the local police department and fire station.  In general, they frown upon misue of the badge.  Then who knows?  Local newspaper?  Local TV station?

Yes, this exactly.  Save every piece and present it to the police captain with details of how you came by it all.
Title: Re: My new neighbors have moved in! UPDATED, pg 4 post 52
Post by: Softly Spoken on June 26, 2013, 02:00:17 PM
Are you near a city that would have an immigrant service? They could send a translator to explain things to them.  many places that serve immigrants also try to help them get to know the culture they moved to. It could help clear things up.

To the folks who posted about my situation. I have been sending things back for years. They persist in giving out our address. As I stated before I have gone as far as having a lawyer send them a cease and desist letter...and it did nothing.  The Post Master is aware of the situation and we are working with her to get things worked out.  But every complaint is met by these folks with claims of discrimination and flashing of the cop's badge. ( basically trying to insinuate that they can do what they want because she's a cop).

You are much more patient than I am. Once I had notified the neighbors to stop sending their mail to my address, EVERY piece of mail thereafter that belonged to them would have gone straight into the trash.

Even better, would be saved and taken to the local police department and fire station.  In general, they frown upon misue of the badge.  Then who knows?  Local newspaper?  Local TV station?

Yes, this exactly.  Save every piece and present it to the police captain with details of how you came by it all.

Am I bad because I imagined a recreation of the courtroom mail scene from "Miracle On 34th Street" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dz2YgjSA8Dg)?  >:D
Title: Re: My new neighbors have moved in! UPDATED, pg 4 post 52
Post by: Gyburc on June 27, 2013, 06:27:19 AM
Mom21Son.......is there anything new?

Yes there is!  I have been super busy and haven't been around much.  But anyway...

I am so proud of myself!

A few days after my last post, they had company.  I took my chances and walked out into the yard and they were all hanging out.

They said Hello, and I said hello back, then I just stated, "This tree is in my yard and those windows are our bedrooms and I don't want people hanging outside my window."

One of the men that was visiting said ok.  Then spoke in their language.  My neighbors smiled and moved all their stuff right then and haven't been back since! 

I am SOOOOOOOO happy, but I am telling you I was shaking so bad.  It was a very hard thing for me to do.

I am still getting the fence, the guy has been really busy so he will call when he is ready.  I want to be able to open my blinds and windows when it gets cooler.

Excellent - and it sounds as if they are nice as well, just a bit clueless. Good news all round!