Etiquette Hell

General Etiquette => Family and Children => Topic started by: seriously? on June 11, 2013, 08:03:13 AM

Title: Father in Law--Facebook and Twitter
Post by: seriously? on June 11, 2013, 08:03:13 AM
Hi, if this is in the wrong place, please move, but I think it spans a few categories!!

I've had problems with my FIL in law in the past..but I am not sure how to link to it.  He is generally socially awkward, clueless and incompetent in general.  Yes, it sounds harsh, but it's the truth.

Here's where it gets weirder...my son has been dating his GF for almost a year.  FIL didn't meet her until about 3 weeks ago.  However, my DD was playing with grandpa's phone and scrolling through is pictures and saw a photo or two of his GF ... they must have come from her FB.  He friended her when my DS started getting serious with her late last year.  I thought that was odd in and of itself...and she laughed it off. (at this time she didn't know about the photos).  So my DD tells her that my Grandpa has pictures of you on his phone last month.  I believe (and rightly so) that girlfriend was freaked out.  I mentioned this to my mother in law and her response was "Oh but he really likes her"  UMMM wait? He NEVER met or SPOKE to her. 

Fast forward to Sunday afternoon.  My  BF and her DD (16) and I were playing a board game.  Her DD told me not only does he follow her on Twitter (as well as facebook friends) BUT he started following some of her FRIENDS (who he does not know)!!!  I am just in shock that any grown man would find this appropriate. But again, he is completely unaware of social norms and acceptable behavior. I promised my BF's DD I would talk to him about it.

So, this Thursday evening we're supposed to have dinner for my DD's 12th birthday. MIL and FIL will both be in attendance. My husband works night shift and will be missing the dinner.  I would like to send an email to my MIL (since he wouldn't even understand if I sent it directly to him) about this and having her talk to him about removing the teenage friends and to stop following them on other social media. 

I know I may hear responses such as "have your DH talk to him/her"...he's aware of the situation and thinks it is bizarre and inappropriate, but I feel that since all of the information was "given" to me, I'm the person who should address it.

Please please can you provide me some thoughts and feedback?
Title: Re: Father in Law--Facebook and Twitter
Post by: Winterlight on June 11, 2013, 08:11:12 AM
I think you should stay out of it, personally. They can decline to friend/unfriend/block him if they so choose, and you stepping in will not end well.
Title: Re: Father in Law--Facebook and Twitter
Post by: kherbert05 on June 11, 2013, 08:34:10 AM
Honestly I think you should tell your FIL to knock it off and not friend any of your kids friends. But you should also tell help your kids' friends block him on Facebook. If I was one of the friend's parents I would
a) Have a serious conversation with my kid about friending people and blocking them
b) be reporting him to facebook as a possible creep.
Title: Re: Father in Law--Facebook and Twitter
Post by: katycoo on June 11, 2013, 08:38:50 AM
I think that particularly the older generation don't really get social media as aren't sure of its boundaries.

I'd be far more concerned about the lack of privacy settings on GF's FB page.
Title: Re: Father in Law--Facebook and Twitter
Post by: *inviteseller on June 11, 2013, 08:43:59 AM
I think you need to talk to him now about him friending these girls immediately.  Maybe he is socially clueless, but what he is doing is creepy.  He has pictures of your son's gf?  He is friending your BF's DD and other girls?  If I was a parent of one of these girls I would be seriously angry that some unknown man was friending my teen daughter, and would wonder why he is doing it and possibly come to a horrible conclusion, right or wrong.  I do look in my DD's friend list all the time (she is 18 today) and we talk about older men who befriend young girls they don't know (she has had numerous unknown men try to friend her).  And it is not only FIL you need to talk to about this, but MIL too as she obviously doesn't see what the problem is.  But..I would do it before DD's birthday celebration.  Don't have what could be a bad conversation on what should be a fun day.
Title: Re: Father in Law--Facebook and Twitter
Post by: Eden on June 11, 2013, 08:44:44 AM
I know a fair number of people who friend friends' friends, kids' friends, etc. I personally don't get it, as I only request friendships with people I care to communicate with, but I don't really think it's that unheard of. I'd let it go unless you learn he's doing something extremely inappropriate. If they friended him they opened themselves up to him having access to them. It's their choice.
Title: Re: Father in Law--Facebook and Twitter
Post by: #borecore on June 11, 2013, 09:04:38 AM
First: I would wait and not bring this up right around a big party. It will put a damper on the occasion and could even cause a scene.  As icky as this is, it doesn't yet seem urgent.

So,  at a time when it could be brought up quietly, privately and in-person, with your partner and both FIL and MIL present,  I would say, "I don't know if you know this, but some teenagers in the family and their friends have confided in me that they are feeling uncomfortable about some of FIL's online behavior.  I agree with them that it feels a bit odd to have an adult who is a stranger to them following them on twitter or Facebook,  or storing their photos on his personal devices. I can't tell you how to use the Internet,  but I do think it would be wise to consider how you'd view another adult man interacting in the same way with DD online. Unfortunately, in today's world, your motivations don't matter very much, so there's no need to justify it. But I would like to ask you to stop."

If he lets you get out that whole spiel,  it will do a few things: Build him up as the responsible adult, take away any claim that you are accusing him directly,  and put the onus on him to act. It avoids directly telling who "told on" him or telling him what YOU think of his behavior and allows him to reconsider without going on the defensive.

Personally,  this sounds creepy and uncomfortable to talk about.  You have my best wishes!
Title: Re: Father in Law--Facebook and Twitter
Post by: Miss Unleaded on June 11, 2013, 09:11:21 AM
I know a fair number of people who friend friends' friends, kids' friends, etc. I personally don't get it, as I only request friendships with people I care to communicate with, but I don't really think it's that unheard of. I'd let it go unless you learn he's doing something extremely inappropriate. If they friended him they opened themselves up to him having access to them. It's their choice.

I'd be really curious to know if he's friending everyone he knows and their friends as well or if he is only friending the ones who are young and female.

I can see a socially clueless person friending people on FB due to a vague connection, but I can also see that this behaviour could be really creepy as well.  And putting FB photos onto his phone?  I think that's pretty dodgy with someone you've never met in person and only have a tangential acquaintance with.
Title: Re: Father in Law--Facebook and Twitter
Post by: Judah on June 11, 2013, 09:15:06 AM
FIL may have made the friend requests, but the teenagers accepted them. If they didn't want to be "friends", why did they friend him? If these kids are minors, it's really on their parents to set the boundaries and talk to their kids about online safety.
Title: Re: Father in Law--Facebook and Twitter
Post by: YummyMummy66 on June 11, 2013, 09:16:10 AM
Personally, I would not say anything.

As others have said, your FIL can be blocked and no one has to friend anyone on FB.  If you do, then that is your choice.

But, like another poster stated, my concern would be is your FIL only following young females or both genders of the younger generation?   If just females, my "creep" factor goes off. 

And no matter who knows the dirt or who it was addressed to, your dh is the one who is should be talking to his parents.
Title: Re: Father in Law--Facebook and Twitter
Post by: Roodabega on June 11, 2013, 09:38:51 AM
I just wanted to address following vs friending.  The FIL can follow someone without being their friend.  It would allow him to see public posts as well as pictures that are public.  So it may not be a "well they friended him so they have to accept what he can see".  It's more they should check their security to see what the public can see of their page.
Title: Re: Father in Law--Facebook and Twitter
Post by: menley on June 11, 2013, 09:41:28 AM
FIL may have made the friend requests, but the teenagers accepted them. If they didn't want to be "friends", why did they friend him? If these kids are minors, it's really on their parents to set the boundaries and talk to their kids about online safety.

I was just wondering the same thing! I've had friends' fathers send me a friend request before (and they were not close friends - one of them was a girl I knew from high school, 12 years ago, and I haven't seen her since) and simply deleted the request. Of course, I'm now in my thirties and I know that I can do that. Perhaps these teens feel an implied pressure because it's a parental or authority figure. But if that's the case, I think the best thing the OP can do is urge the teens that they don't have to, and shouldn't, accept friend requests from people they don't know.
Title: Re: Father in Law--Facebook and Twitter
Post by: MrTango on June 11, 2013, 10:09:10 AM
FIL may have made the friend requests, but the teenagers accepted them. If they didn't want to be "friends", why did they friend him? If these kids are minors, it's really on their parents to set the boundaries and talk to their kids about online safety.

I was just wondering the same thing! I've had friends' fathers send me a friend request before (and they were not close friends - one of them was a girl I knew from high school, 12 years ago, and I haven't seen her since) and simply deleted the request. Of course, I'm now in my thirties and I know that I can do that. Perhaps these teens feel an implied pressure because it's a parental or authority figure. But if that's the case, I think the best thing the OP can do is urge the teens that they don't have to, and shouldn't, accept friend requests from people they don't know.

I'd go one step further: They don't even have to accept a friend request from someone they do know unless they actually want to accept the request (with the exception of a parent mandating that their minor child list them as a friend on FB).
Title: Re: Father in Law--Facebook and Twitter
Post by: cwm on June 11, 2013, 10:58:09 AM
I know my FB is locked down so tightly that most people can't even search for me. Other people that I have friended are locked down so they can't see a lot of my stuff. It's saved me a lot of hassle from strangers, so I've never really had to deal with random people following or friending me unless I let them.

Honestly, though, your daughter's birthday dinner isn't a good place to discuss this. You need to get your DH on board and find a day when he's not working and sit down with MIL and FIL and explain exactly why some people might think it's in appropriate. Don't judge, don't blame, and don't accuse him of anything, just lay out what he's been doing and why it could be seen as being creepy or bizarre. Try to do it without being judgemental. He may honestly not understand why what he's doing is not considered normal, and may completely change once he sees things from another perspective.
Title: Re: Father in Law--Facebook and Twitter
Post by: hobish on June 11, 2013, 11:07:33 AM
I think you should stay out of it, personally. They can decline to friend/unfriend/block him if they so choose, and you stepping in will not end well.

This.
Title: Re: Father in Law--Facebook and Twitter
Post by: seriously? on June 11, 2013, 11:57:08 AM
Agree with both sides....I would NOT bring it up at the birthday dinner if I was going to do it at all, my initial plan was going to be to talk about it before then.

However, I've spoken to my BF's DD and told her to block / unfriend him from her FB and told her to tell any friends to do the same....(evidently it's Instagram, not Twitter)

Still mulling it over...I would definable be tactful and not accusatory if and when I mentioned it to him.

Thanks again for the responses.
Title: Re: Father in Law--Facebook and Twitter
Post by: Friday on June 11, 2013, 12:52:45 PM
I say that safety trumps etiquette, and since the parties involved are minors, the OP does need to address.

I had friends involved in a similar situation.  for privacy, I won't say who they were in this, let's just say that they were related to one of the parties involved...

Long story short:  Mother befriends daughter's friend on facebook and tells her inappropriate things.  Mother of the second girl asks Mother of the first girl (instigator) to leave her DD alone but to let the girls be friends (girls are in middle school).  Instigator mother tries to get 'revenge' by doing something nasty to the daughter's friend....

http://pysih.com/2010/11/18/danette-stark/ (http://pysih.com/2010/11/18/danette-stark/)
Title: Re: Father in Law--Facebook and Twitter
Post by: NyaChan on June 11, 2013, 12:57:35 PM
I think this is likely a case of a generational misunderstanding.  It is likely that FIL doesn't see it as creepy and really, the teenagers accepted him as a friend so why would he have thought it was a problem?  He may even see the pictures as a way of relating to his grandchild - as in his grandson's girlfriend is part of the family. Now he has a picture to show people - Oh look here's my grandson, he's X years old.  Here's his girlfriend. and so on and so forth.  I'd have a chat with him about social media etiquette and maybe even mention that he has made the GF uncomfortable by trying to make these connections with her even though they have not yet met.
Title: Re: Father in Law--Facebook and Twitter
Post by: Margo on June 11, 2013, 01:08:51 PM
I thin k the two are different. Facebook - if he has friended them, they have to accept the friend request. I don't think it is up to you to police how someone else's child uses facebook. If you feel comfortable with doing so, you could mention to you FIL that this could be seen as odd and suggest that he consider friending only his own family and people he knows personally, but unless there is any suggestion he is making inappropriate comments then I think there is such a huge range of different ways to use facebook it is hard to say he is 'wrong'

Twitter - again, if you don't want to interact with someone you can block them. If a user has not 'locked' their accounts then their tweets can be seen by anyone, you don't control who choses to read what you say.

I think having a general conversation with him, and flagging up concerns  about unpleasant conclusions people may draw, but unless he is sending inappropriate messages to them I don't think it is anyone else's business.

Again, lots of ways to use twitter - I think it is quite common to follow people you may to know personally, if they chat to people you do know, for instance. And it isn't always obvious how old or what gender someone is when you follow them.

Title: Re: Father in Law--Facebook and Twitter
Post by: Eden on June 11, 2013, 01:33:28 PM
I say that safety trumps etiquette, and since the parties involved are minors, the OP does need to address.

I agree that safety trumps etiquette but, so far anyway, there has been no safety violation here. He just friended them on facebook. There's been no mention of inappropriate messages or anything.
Title: Re: Father in Law--Facebook and Twitter
Post by: Shoo on June 11, 2013, 01:35:14 PM
I say that safety trumps etiquette, and since the parties involved are minors, the OP does need to address.

I agree that safety trumps etiquette but, so far anyway, there has been no safety violation here. He just friended them on facebook. There's been no mention of inappropriate messages or anything.

Yeah, I don't get what the big deal is.
Title: Re: Father in Law--Facebook and Twitter
Post by: JeanFromBNA on June 11, 2013, 01:46:56 PM
Finding pictures of grandson's girlfriend on his phone sets off my creep-o-meter.  Wouldn't he deliberately have to have saved them?
Title: Re: Father in Law--Facebook and Twitter
Post by: *inviteseller on June 11, 2013, 01:58:14 PM
I say that safety trumps etiquette, and since the parties involved are minors, the OP does need to address.

I agree that safety trumps etiquette but, so far anyway, there has been no safety violation here. He just friended them on facebook. There's been no mention of inappropriate messages or anything.

Yeah, I don't get what the big deal is.

The deal is an adult  by a large margin(don't matter the gender) friending kids he does not know and then having their pics on his phone.  He may just be absolutely clueless, but he is opening himself up for some interesting assumptions by doing it.  And kids, unfortunately, tend to accept anyone who friends them (many conversations between DD and myself about who she friends) and too many parents do NOT monitor their kids electronic usage for this kind of thing.  These kids probably saw his last name, associated it with OP and her kids, even saw shared friends and accepted.  I don't see OP discussing this with her FIL as policing anyone's account, but taking steps to make sure he is not accused of anything untoward.  Hopefully, the kids he has friended will now think twice about who they friend.
Title: Re: Father in Law--Facebook and Twitter
Post by: lmyrs on June 11, 2013, 03:36:31 PM
The BF's DD and the BF are being a little inconsistent here.  I don't understand why they are "mulling over" blocking grandpa unless they really aren't bothered by it. If they don't want DD and grandpa to be friends, it is 100% within their own power to fix it. But they aren't. It seems to me that they don't care that much.  i
Title: Re: Father in Law--Facebook and Twitter
Post by: *inviteseller on June 11, 2013, 03:46:29 PM
OP is mulling over discussing the situation with FIL.  The gf was upset over finding out about the pics
Title: Re: Father in Law--Facebook and Twitter
Post by: WillyNilly on June 11, 2013, 03:47:24 PM
I firmly believe the FIL here is no more guilty of creepy or poorly thought out behavior then the minors and the parents of the minors he's friending. Accepting friends is a two way street. and posting pictures on Instagram publicly is, well, public. Even if he is leering at the pictures (which we don't even know if that's the case) these young folks are ok'ing and encouraging the behavior with their own actions and their parents are condoning the behavior by allowing it to go on (presumably even on devices the parents themselves provided and continue to fund).

If anyone needs a talking to its the parents of the young women, who in turn should take some parental responsibility and speak to their daughters.
Title: Re: Father in Law--Facebook and Twitter
Post by: *inviteseller on June 11, 2013, 04:28:47 PM
I agree WillyNilly, the parents do need to monitor better, but also, most adults know not to friend underage kids they don't know and to have their pics on their phone.  Kids are learning, adults should know.
Title: Re: Father in Law--Facebook and Twitter
Post by: Shoo on June 11, 2013, 04:41:24 PM
I suspect the grandfather copied the pictures of his grandson's girlfriend so he can brag to his friends, "See how pretty my grandson's girlfriend is?  He's a chip off the old block, isn't he?"  That sort of thing.

Unless there some sort of PROOF this guy's a pedophile or pervert or something, of which I have seen none of in this thread. 

OP, do *you* think your FIL is some kind of pervert?  Why don't you weigh in on this and clear it up for us.
Title: Re: Father in Law--Facebook and Twitter
Post by: bellacullen on June 11, 2013, 04:43:01 PM
I don't know how old your son and his gf are, but I just turned 17 recently so maybe I can be of a bit of help?

I have adults on my page that are parents and grandparents of my friends. BUT, I have my settings set up in such a way that they can only see certain things. My BFF's grandfather friended me almost as soon as he got a page. I think he was just trying to pad his friend count. I just added him and put him on my adult list. No harm no foul.

I think reading creepy in this is unfair. He may just be doing what my friends grandfather did and padding. The GF may very well have her settings in such a way as well. My mother made it a stipulation that she needed to be on my friends list. I post just enough, and include my adult list, to seem fairly active to her and my friends parents, who are also keeping tabs on us. But the things I wouldn't want adults to see, such as our beach pictures in bikinis, are only posted to my friends not the adults

It takes a few extra steps but I don't mind because really I love posting. ;)
Title: Re: Father in Law--Facebook and Twitter
Post by: WillyNilly on June 11, 2013, 04:50:37 PM
I agree WillyNilly, the parents do need to monitor better, but also, most adults know not to friend underage kids they don't know and to have their pics on their phone.  Kids are learning, adults should know.

I think its fair to say many 'kids' know  heck of a lot more about Facebook, Instagram and twitter then many senior citizens know. The grandpa is learning too.

But the fact remains that he hasn't done anything creepy. All has done is saved the photos of a [presumably] pretty young woman his grandson is romantically involved with, and friended people he knows of. Lots of people send friend requests to "friends of friends" - he's following standard Facebook procedures. It is not his job to monitor who teenage girls choose to 'friend' - he might honestly not even know these girls ages! And to further that, how young are we talking? Where is the cut off of "not creepy"? Is a 19 year old ok? She's still a teenager to his 65-70 years.
Title: Re: Father in Law--Facebook and Twitter
Post by: TootsNYC on June 11, 2013, 05:01:13 PM
I agree WillyNilly, the parents do need to monitor better, but also, most adults know not to friend underage kids they don't know and to have their pics on their phone.  Kids are learning, adults should know.

Actually, I think often adults are learning too, especially in the realm of social media.
Title: Re: Father in Law--Facebook and Twitter
Post by: seriously? on June 12, 2013, 07:46:57 AM
The BF's DD and the BF are being a little inconsistent here.  I don't understand why they are "mulling over" blocking grandpa unless they really aren't bothered by it. If they don't want DD and grandpa to be friends, it is 100% within their own power to fix it. But they aren't. It seems to me that they don't care that much.  i

Hi, I think you may not have understood the original post. 
I appreciate all of your responses and have decided not to say anything to my FIL. As I've said before I talked to my BF's daughter and instructed her to unfriend/block him and to have her friends do the same.  If it happens again (ie, he tries to reach out to another friend, etc) I will explain to him why that may not be the best decision, even with the most innocent of intent.
Title: Re: Father in Law--Facebook and Twitter
Post by: Roodabega on June 12, 2013, 09:26:06 AM
As a parent of older teenagers, I do have friends that are friends of my kids.  I also know them though volunteering at the activity my kids are involved in.  I have never sent a friend request to any kid and never will, only responding to requests.  Me interactions on FB have generally been punny or I hope amusing responses to the occasional post that just screams for it:  IE (What kind of reptile should I get as a pet?  -> Nonpoisonous!)

I assume that I am put on an "ADULT" restricted list, and am fine with that.  My reasoning for my FB stance is so that I don't get looked at like the FIL is.  As an adult male, I think it is on us to be ultra vigilant to perceptions.  Interactions with young people not only have to always be above board, but also have to appear that way to others.

I know that the general advice has been to let kids and their parents handle who has access to their social media, but I think it would be a kindness to the FIL to have his son explain about how things are perceived.  So if I were the OP, I would let her husband handle it.
Title: Re: Father in Law--Facebook and Twitter
Post by: NyaChan on June 12, 2013, 11:45:09 AM
The BF's DD and the BF are being a little inconsistent here.  I don't understand why they are "mulling over" blocking grandpa unless they really aren't bothered by it. If they don't want DD and grandpa to be friends, it is 100% within their own power to fix it. But they aren't. It seems to me that they don't care that much.  i

Hi, I think you may not have understood the original post. 
I appreciate all of your responses and have decided not to say anything to my FIL. As I've said before I talked to my BF's daughter and instructed her to unfriend/block him and to have her friends do the same.  If it happens again (ie, he tries to reach out to another friend, etc) I will explain to him why that may not be the best decision, even with the most innocent of intent.

Can you explain the misunderstanding please?
Title: Re: Father in Law--Facebook and Twitter
Post by: seriously? on June 12, 2013, 11:58:47 AM
The BF's DD and the BF are being a little inconsistent here.  I don't understand why they are "mulling over" blocking grandpa unless they really aren't bothered by it. If they don't want DD and grandpa to be friends, it is 100% within their own power to fix it. But they aren't. It seems to me that they don't care that much.  i

I think  my BF's DD felt that he was an authority figure and was somehow obligated to accept. To be honest, her mother (my BF) isn't very involved in FB or monitoring what her daughter does.  I guess I wasn't thinking they were inconsistent, but as others have posted, sometimes a younger person may feel it's rude somehow to ignore a friend request from an elder.  And the daughter did care, she's just didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings.
Title: Re: Father in Law--Facebook and Twitter
Post by: Eeep! on June 12, 2013, 12:19:34 PM
I suspect the grandfather copied the pictures of his grandson's girlfriend so he can brag to his friends, "See how pretty my grandson's girlfriend is?  He's a chip off the old block, isn't he?"  That sort of thing.

Unless there some sort of PROOF this guy's a pedophile or pervert or something, of which I have seen none of in this thread. 

OP, do *you* think your FIL is some kind of pervert?  Why don't you weigh in on this and clear it up for us.

This was one of my first thought too.  Just like someone might keep a picture of their grandson and his girlfriend in his wallet to show people.
Title: Re: Father in Law--Facebook and Twitter
Post by: *inviteseller on June 12, 2013, 08:31:15 PM
The only kid I have on FB that is not related to me is my DD's best friend, the only adult my DD has on hers that is not related to her is best friends dad.  Many other friends of hers have sent me requests but I do not accept them not do I send them requests because it just feels wrong.  I am friendly with them but I am not their buddy.  I would feel a bit strange if adult relatives of DD's friends started friending her.  I still think you or your DH should say something because, while he is probably just clueless, somewhere, somehow this could come back to bite him in the butt.   And even if he is showing off pics of gransons's gf the problem is she didn't give him the picture..because she didn't even know her until just recently, and clueless or not, it just raises the creepy flag of an adult having pics of a teenage girl he just recently met on his phone.
Title: Re: Father in Law--Facebook and Twitter
Post by: Shoo on June 12, 2013, 08:45:32 PM
I am friends with a lot of my 13 year old daughter's friends.  I'm friends with ALL of her softball teammates.  They all friended ME (and I accepted) because they wanted to see my photo albums.  I take pictures of my daughter and her team all the time, and they wanted access.  I don't feel weird about it at all.  Seems perfectly  normal to me.
Title: Re: Father in Law--Facebook and Twitter
Post by: Gyburc on June 13, 2013, 05:21:40 AM
To me, the 'friending' thing doesn't seem odd. However, the fact that FIL has a picture of his GS's girlfriend, whom he has never even met or spoken to, does make me go :o.

I think it's important to remember that something can appear creepy even if there is no intent to be creepy. FIL may just think his GS has good taste, as one of the PPs mentioned,  and there's nothing wrong with that at all. But keeping her picture really seems odd, and could easily be misunderstood.

Title: Re: Father in Law--Facebook and Twitter
Post by: EnoughAlready22 on June 13, 2013, 07:37:22 AM
To me, the 'friending' thing doesn't seem odd. However, the fact that FIL has a picture of his GS's girlfriend, whom he has never even met or spoken to, does make me go :o.

I think it's important to remember that something can appear creepy even if there is no intent to be creepy. FIL may just think his GS has good taste, as one of the PPs mentioned,  and there's nothing wrong with that at all. But keeping her picture really seems odd, and could easily be misunderstood.

I agree with this.  I end up with pictures on my phone from facebook that I didn't intentionally put there.  Sometimes when look at a link or picture, my phone will automatically save it.  So in this case, I don't find it creepy.
Title: Re: Father in Law--Facebook and Twitter
Post by: Roe on June 13, 2013, 09:37:14 AM
To me, the 'friending' thing doesn't seem odd. However, the fact that FIL has a picture of his GS's girlfriend, whom he has never even met or spoken to, does make me go :o.

I think it's important to remember that something can appear creepy even if there is no intent to be creepy. FIL may just think his GS has good taste, as one of the PPs mentioned,  and there's nothing wrong with that at all. But keeping her picture really seems odd, and could easily be misunderstood.

I agree with this.  I end up with pictures on my phone from facebook that I didn't intentionally put there.  Sometimes when look at a link or picture, my phone will automatically save it.  So in this case, I don't find it creepy.

I agree. It's not the friending thing at all (though that is a bit "off" to me, personally) but the pictures on his phone?!  That's more than a bit weird. 
Title: Re: Father in Law--Facebook and Twitter
Post by: bopper on June 13, 2013, 01:58:46 PM
I am friends with some of my kids friends, but only the ones that I have some sort of relationship (have been around them growing up.) or they requested me as a friend. I too try not to post/comment very much either.