Etiquette Hell

General Etiquette => Life...in general => Topic started by: Van down by the river on July 19, 2013, 11:11:50 PM

Title: Generic Graduation Thank you.
Post by: Van down by the river on July 19, 2013, 11:11:50 PM
I'm more than a little irritated. I received a commencement announcement for a distant cousin a few months ago. I sent a monetary gift in a card that I made a special trip for and personalized the card including a nice quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson. I sent it off w a monetary gift and got it out the same week I received it. I patted myself on the back a tiny bit for actually getting a card out on time, admittedly something I have struggled with my whole life.

The check was cashed within the next week. I got the thank you card today. The commencement announcement was sent in the form one of those rectangular picture cards that you get from family members as Christmas cards a lot of times. The thank you was pre printed using the same photo that was used in the announcement. Here's what is printed on the photo:
The Graduate says thanks!
Thank you so much for the gift of money! It will be used when I attend *university name* in the fall!

I'm annoyed by this for several reasons.
The fact the check was cashed more than 2 months before I received the thank you. (My mother made me sit and write all my Ty notes before I could touch the money. Even to deposit it.)
The length it took to get the TY
The impersonal TY note all the way down to the fact it literally says "The Graduate" instead of his name
The use of the word "money" instead of "gift"
Even the outside of the envelope is adressed w a printed sticker. Nothing on it was hand written.
The fact it's the same photo that was used before. If you are going to be so generic, you'd think I at least deserve a pic of him in his cap and gown.
Are the pretty printed commencement announcements not used anymore? Thinking on it, I wonder if I was a "B" lister or something.
He is a small town boy. That side of our family is generally pretty spot on w proper etiquette as far as announcements and TY notes go.

I assume I just have to suck it up? I feel like saying anything might be considered rude, however if this is how cousin is going to be, should I ever get a wedding invite down the line or a birth announcement, I'm going to be hard pressed to send anything.
Title: Re: Generic Graduation Thank you.
Post by: Surianne on July 19, 2013, 11:23:25 PM
Perhaps I'm not that familliar with graduation etiquette in your part of the world, but I see a lot of assumptions here that confuse me.  What "pretty printed commencement announcements" do you mean?  A photo sounds like a pretty printed announcement to me?  How are the ones you expect different?

I do think that it would have been better for him to handwrite a quick note on the card, but is his handwriting that good?  I have a few guy friends who are very self-conscious about theirs.  Getting it computer printed might be something that makes him more comfortable.

He did personalize it by referring to your gift (money) and how he would use it (letting you know the university he's going to attend).  But yet you're also angry that he mentioned the specific gift?  So it sounds like you want something more generic (gift rather than money) but also...more specific?

What are the exact deadlines you'd expect him to send a thank you card after cashing the cheque?  How would he have known these?

Even reading your post I'm confused.  I can't imagine how the cousin could have possibly known your expectations for feeling properly thanked.  He sent you a thank you card and a photo...even if it wasn't perfect, he's showing appreciation for the gift.

I think in the future, if you have very specific and unpredictable expectations for thank yous, it's probably better to avoid sending gifts.  Gifts are probably better sent because you like the graduate than because of what you hoped to get in return.
Title: Re: Generic Graduation Thank you.
Post by: Aeris on July 19, 2013, 11:25:06 PM
I'm annoyed by this for several reasons.
The fact the check was cashed more than 2 months before I received the thank you. (My mother made me sit and write all my Ty notes before I could touch the money. Even to deposit it.)
This is unreasonable. I have always been told it is absolutely correct etiquette to cash checks immediately so that people may keep their accounts in order. Waiting to cash checks for any length of time increases the likelihood that one will screw up their account on the cashing of it.
The length it took to get the TY
 I don't know what is considered entirely a proper time frame, but honestly, 2 months doesn't seem excessive to me. It may be pushing it, but it does not seem patently unreasonable. I wouldn't expect a graduate to send out thank you notes until after all exams, the graduation, and moving out of dorms had occurred in any case.
The impersonal TY note all the way down to the fact it literally says "The Graduate" instead of his name
 Was the entire note pre-printed? Or just the first line? If it was entirely pre-printed, then I will agree with you on this one.
The use of the word "money" instead of "gift"
 There's no etiquette rule against referring to the specific gift that you were given. In fact, many people would consider it more polite to refer specifically to the type of gift received rather than saying, generically, 'gift'. This is not a reasonable objection.
Even the outside of the envelope is adressed w a printed sticker. Nothing on it was hand written.
 While your irritation with the pre-printed *message* is understandable, I do not think that it's imperative to hand write the addresses for envelopes. Some people are really bothered by this, but I think unless it is an invitation for a black tie event, labels are perfectly acceptable (and efficient). The reality is that some people's handwriting is terrible, and a label makes it far more likely to actually get through the post.
The fact it's the same photo that was used before. If you are going to be so generic, you'd think I at least deserve a pic of him in his cap and gown.
 There is no etiquette rule that says that one has to use a different photo in a thank you note. Perhaps he did not purchase any of the expensive photo packages of cap and gown pics. You do not 'deserve' a picture of him in any particular attire.
Are the pretty printed commencement announcements not used anymore? Thinking on it, I wonder if I was a "B" lister or something.
He is a small town boy. That side of our family is generally pretty spot on w proper etiquette as far as announcements and TY notes go.
 Was his commencement announcement not pretty enough?
I assume I just have to suck it up? I feel like saying anything might be considered rude, however if this is how cousin is going to be, should I ever get a wedding invite down the line or a birth announcement, I'm going to be hard pressed to send anything.
Title: Re: Generic Graduation Thank you.
Post by: *inviteseller on July 19, 2013, 11:34:46 PM
Schools usually have you order your announcements through them.  They are printed like an invitation and are fairly formal.  Where I used to work though, we did personalized invitations, and we were seeing more and more parents coming in for us to do them as either the schools quit doing it, or they were charging an outrageous sum. 

I agree with you OP on the numerous faux pas .  When I send a check to a graduate, I think 2 weeks is long enough to wait for a thank you before it seems rude (my niece's on ex hubby's side had them to me 4 days after their parties, his cousins sons, one never sent one and the other took 3 months  grrrr) and if someone can't take the time to try and personalize the note a little bit, it doesn't feel like a thank you.  Sure for big occasions there are probably a lot to do, so you do some every day.  I have gotten thank yous with the pictures too..I wouldn't care about the actual picture, but the fact his name wasn't even on it???  I would put the blame on the parents though..they had to order the announcements& thank yous so it was their idea to make it easy on their son with the generic wording, but they aren't teaching him anything.  Hope by the time he finishes college he learns how to write a decent thank you for job interviews!
Title: Re: Generic Graduation Thank you.
Post by: Lynn2000 on July 20, 2013, 12:10:58 AM
I feel like TY notes should be more prompt than 2 months for a graduation and I think they should be personalized--not necessarily handwritten because sometimes people have trouble doing that, but a computer-printed note that said, "Dear Aunt Van down by the river, Thanks so much for your gift! I will use it to buy books for my classes this fall at State University. Love, Bobby," would be great in my opinion. Bobby could even use that for every person who sent him a check and just swap out the names on the computer if he wanted, frankly. So I can get behind those complaints, at least.

On the other hand I honestly feel like expecting decent TY notes is a lost cause these days. I sent my cousin a check for graduation back in May and haven't heard anything, nor do I expect to, actually. Even an email, or a message on Facebook (where were are friends) would be appreciated. But, I've gotten very few TY notes from them over the years, and once his mother told me that she "doesn't make her kids send TY notes," like it was a philosophical choice.

I dunno. I hate to be a downer about it. I try to send what I think are good TY notes, and I know some people for whom my notes aren't good enough, so I wouldn't be surprised if people who consider them a marginal activity anyway just completely give up when faced with super-high standards.  :-\
Title: Re: Generic Graduation Thank you.
Post by: Oh Joy on July 20, 2013, 03:36:46 AM
I would be frustrated, too.

That said, this time of year I seem to be having social conversations with parents of graduates who haven't sent their thank yous yet, some of whom are considering doing it themselves...would rather people get thanked than wait for the kid to possibly never do it.

Because I tend to take the most positive possible interpretation, I'd tell myself this is the result of lots of browbeating by the parent, and they decided not to do battle over some of the finer points.  Only because it would make me feel better.   :)
Title: Re: Generic Graduation Thank you.
Post by: Van down by the river on July 20, 2013, 04:37:49 AM
The experience I have with graduation announcers is the embossed type card printed w the graduated full name, high school, and even the date and time were written without numbers. I don't really have an issue with the announcement so much as the thank you note. Nothing was written. It was all printed out on the photo. The announcement was kind of like this:
http://photo.walgreens.com/walgreens/fe/p/store/facettedbrowser/FacetBrowser/app=pd/merch_oid=16354/bk=Cards/cardTypeLabel=Photo%2520Cards/designerId=5836816007/frontDesignUuid=6ff38f318112419386c1c463f20915b7/designGp=f80c755fbe6f46fd8974df9ac240fcf2/layoutUUID=5e47f2c11c2e44d0972b57c9b4e8a1fc/facetFilters=product_type%253Apt_card-facet_holiday%253Ah_christmas%253AChristmas%253AChristmas/urlEP=C/v=/ (http://photo.walgreens.com/walgreens/fe/p/store/facettedbrowser/FacetBrowser/app=pd/merch_oid=16354/bk=Cards/cardTypeLabel=Photo%2520Cards/designerId=5836816007/frontDesignUuid=6ff38f318112419386c1c463f20915b7/designGp=f80c755fbe6f46fd8974df9ac240fcf2/layoutUUID=5e47f2c11c2e44d0972b57c9b4e8a1fc/facetFilters=product_type%253Apt_card-facet_holiday%253Ah_christmas%253AChristmas%253AChristmas/urlEP=C/v=/). I know it's a holiday card. The website was being glitchy.

The TY was a square postcard with his same pic and the pre printed message. Included referring to himself as "the graduate"  It was all generic had a horribly impersonal feel to it. In my head I read it in a robot voice. Most HS graduates get money as a gift. That's all they want and generally, with a few exceptions, that is what they receive. So I'm willing to bet they went and had a huge stack of these cards made and sent them back to everyone. I turned it over looking for anything. A "thanks again!" With his name would have been nice. A typed out personal note would be fine. I guess what bugs me most is the "mass production" of the whole thing. I don't even know him. Never met him or his parents. It kind of feels now like a cash grab. I had no issue until the TY "note". I get warmer cards at Christmas from my lawyer. And the time frame? Considering the type of TY I got, there is no excuse on the earth to take two months to send it. Heck, he could have had them stamped and ready to go and just cycled them out as they came in. For all I know, his mom did it for him. Or someone else. There's no way to know. I don't think my expectations are high. This "your lucky you got anything back" way of looking at things I keep seeing is not acceptable. I would have preferred a voicemail or an email to this. I'm not going to lose any sleep over it, it's not the end of the world but it is a valid irritation.

I understand things are different. I'm 20 years out of HS. I don't think that in any way excuses people from having basic social interactions.
Title: Re: Generic Graduation Thank you.
Post by: Hmmmmm on July 20, 2013, 06:15:00 AM
My DD used the formal announcement/invitation for her graduation but I think most of her classmates did personalized photo announcements. It seems to be the new trend, so I wouldn't feel slighted by that.

But I do find a pre-printed thank you note to be in poor taste.  Two months is a little late in my opinion too, but I wouldn't be upset about that either. DD stayed on top of hers, but it was difficult because she had such a busy schedule for the first 6 weeks after graduation.
Title: Re: Generic Graduation Thank you.
Post by: CookieChica on July 20, 2013, 06:51:25 AM
I've always received the embossed announcements as invitations, not thank yous. How did the invite come?
Title: Re: Generic Graduation Thank you.
Post by: Thipu1 on July 20, 2013, 09:30:24 AM
I DO see problems with this TY note.  The problems aren't with the form, they're with the wording. 

Unless the kid is actually named 'Graduate' this is very odd.  Also, the preprinted reference to money is crass.  Is it possible that this young man received any gifts that weren't money? 

There should have been something hand written on the card if only a signature. 

We use computer generated mailing labels because neither of us have great hand writing but there's always a real note inside cards we send out.

BTW, back in the winter we sent a check for a Bar Mitzvah.  The TY was hand written but it was obviously a template of the 'fill in the blank' type. 

It read, 'Dear Aunt and Uncle,  Thanks for the money.  I love it!'.

Oh, well.

Title: Re: Generic Graduation Thank you.
Post by: Shoo on July 20, 2013, 09:39:33 AM
The problem with this "thank you" card is that you have absolutely no way of knowing who sent it to you.  I'd bet a million dollars the graduate didn't even send it.  His/her mother probably did it.

A hand written (I still expect graduates to be able to actually WRITE) note expressing sincere thanks for the gift is what I expect, and so I can certainly understand your frustration.  You took the time to send something, included a personalized message, and all you got in return was basically a form letter.

Title: Re: Generic Graduation Thank you.
Post by: Klein Bottle on July 20, 2013, 09:44:27 AM
He should have written something personal on the card, and that would have made it fine.

I got all my graduation TY notes out the week following commencement and my party.  (No prompting from the parents; there are certain things in life I learned to do on my own, and TY notes are one of them.)  However, I don't think two months is a super long time between receiving a gift and thanking the sender.  It wouldn't other me. 

I dislike those generic printed TY notes, also.  It sounds like you put a lot of thought and effort into his gift, and it would have been nice for that to have een acknowledged.
Title: Re: Generic Graduation Thank you.
Post by: Twik on July 20, 2013, 10:11:55 AM
I think this is the flip side of people complaining about getting gifts that are not up to their standards.

While using preprinted templates doesn't give the receiver the warm fuzzier, it does, I think, meet the basic requirement of saying "thank you". And stressing over the fact that they didn't handwrite the address seems a little anachronistic, when many schools have dispensed with teaching cursive "because everything is done on computers these days".

A thank you was sent, eventually. Expecting young men to write a short essay to everyone about how they cherish the gift, and/or will spend the money, is just going to stress you out, because its most likely not going to happen at their age.
Title: Re: Generic Graduation Thank you.
Post by: jaxsue on July 20, 2013, 10:32:13 AM
General comment: I think my son must be an exception, because at age 22 he still sends out handwritten TY notes as soon as he gets a gift. I taught him that, but it was his decision to keep doing it.

Anyway, the generic TY note. Considering that a lot of people don't say TY in any form (in person, on Facebook, in writing), I'd be somewhat grateful to get any acknowledgement. That doesn't mean that a bit of effort wouldn't be appreciated. Several years ago we gave a card/money to a neighbor kid for HS graduation. We got back an 8.5x11 sheet of paper with fill-in blanks. All he had to do was fill in what the gift was and sign. This was a kid who was in advanced courses, and quite intelligent. I know, that doesn't mean anything. It was just a bit surprising. To be honest, though, I'd have been more satisfied with a verbal TY.

Is it a hill to die on? No, but the lack of any TY, in any form, is disappointing.
Title: Re: Generic Graduation Thank you.
Post by: jayhawk on July 20, 2013, 10:39:20 AM
I totally understand.

Our family went out of town to the wedding of the daughter of friends the first weekend in January. We brought a nice gift (not cash - either cash or other gifts are considered appropriate in this part of the US).
We got the TY this week. "Thank you for coming to our wedding! Thanks also for the generous gift. Love, Bride and Groom".

It was obvious that great care was taken with every aspect of this wedding. The STD cards, invitations and TY postcards all had the same theme, for example. I understand that the B & G are still in college and were busy at school. Still not an excuse in my book. Plus the fact that it was pretty obvious that they don't even remember what we gave them left a somewhat bad taste in my mouth.
Title: Re: Generic Graduation Thank you.
Post by: jaxsue on July 20, 2013, 10:42:08 AM
I totally understand.

Our family went out of town to the wedding of the daughter of friends the first weekend in January. We brought a nice gift (not cash - either cash or other gifts are considered appropriate in this part of the US).
We got the TY this week. "Thank you for coming to our wedding! Thanks also for the generous gift. Love, Bride and Groom".

It was obvious that great care was taken with every aspect of this wedding. The STD cards, invitations and TY postcards all had the same theme, for example. I understand that the B & G are still in college and were busy at school. Still not an excuse in my book. Plus the fact that it was pretty obvious that they don't even remember what we gave them left a somewhat bad taste in my mouth.

I'd feel the same way. IMHO, wedding gifts are the one time people should put effort into the TY cards. Most guests give nice gifts for this, whether it's a hefty check or expensive china. I am happy with a 3-line TY note, as long as it mentions the gift. I'm old-school, I know.  :P
Title: Re: Generic Graduation Thank you.
Post by: CrazyDaffodilLady on July 20, 2013, 01:05:46 PM
It's amazing how quickly some people can find the time to deposit a check but can't find time to acknowledge the gift.  Someone once told me that cashing the check was their acknowledgement.  Yeah, and the fact that you'll never get another gift from me is an acknowledgement of how I feel about your manners.

The awkwardly worded impersonal TY received by the O.P. was crass, but I suppose it was better than nothing. :-\  I'd be most offended that "the graduate" couldn't be bothered to sign the card.

I've actually had young relatives write "Thanks" on the back of a check when they deposit it and think that counted as a TY note.  I don't know if they still do this since I never see real checks any more. 
Title: Re: Generic Graduation Thank you.
Post by: GSNW on July 20, 2013, 01:22:12 PM
Maybe it's just me, but I would be a little confused at receiving an announcement when I've never met the graduate or his parents.  This just seems like treating the grad announcement as an investment.
Title: Re: Generic Graduation Thank you.
Post by: magician5 on July 20, 2013, 01:27:52 PM
I assume I just have to suck it up? I feel like saying anything might be considered rude, however if this is how cousin is going to be, should I ever get a wedding invite down the line or a birth announcement, I'm going to be hard pressed to send anything.

What are your alternatives? An outraged letter?

You might desire in your heart to do that (I certainly would) but IMO the most you can reasonably do is use this evidence to form your own opinion about the person. Which is exactly what your second sentence says. And you're very much justified in doing that.
Title: Re: Generic Graduation Thank you.
Post by: MOM21SON on July 20, 2013, 05:32:45 PM
As someone who gave generous cash gifts to graduates of my friends, I am jealous that you got even that note!  I got a big fat nothing.
Title: Re: Generic Graduation Thank you.
Post by: GrammarNerd on July 20, 2013, 09:31:34 PM
I haven't had really any graduations to attend yet, except for my nephews (and of course they'd get a gift).  But I was invited to a wedding a couple of years ago for a second cousin.  Gave a gift (a very well-thought-out gift, if I may say, with a story/history behind it, which I also relayed to the bridal couple).  This was in early June.  In late September, I got a thank you.  It was a preprinted photo of the couple that said, "Thank you for sharing our day with us." That was it.  No mention of the gift and nothing handwritten.

I thought that perhaps they somehow didn't get the gift , until my sister said she got the same TY.  I came to the conclusion that my gift (or any of the gifts, for that matter) just didn't matter to them enough to actually put forth the time to write a line to thank the giver specifically for the present, nor for the time I spent picking the present out, relating my story/history, etc.  And that's fine; if it's not to their taste, so be it.  It's too bad that they couldn't see fit to actually thank us for the gift, but that's, I suppose, their right.

But I have to admit that it clouded my view of them when I got invited to a baby shower a year after that.  Because no, I then had no interest in putting more effort into gifting them with something (for an obvious gift-giving occasion) when the previous gift was never even acknowledged, let alone have appreciation expressed for it.  Thus, the thank you note (or lack thereof) for the previous gift DID affect my view of them.  I wish them well, but I'm not going to put forth any more time or money to gift them for anything again.
Title: Re: Generic Graduation Thank you.
Post by: Library Dragon on July 20, 2013, 10:48:11 PM
On the two month lag...Do you know what was going on in the grad's life?  I ask this because DS1 did have a multi-month lag in sending out TY notes.  Why?

1. He almost immediately he left for Army officer's training for 8 weeks.
2. Then he went directly to an intensive educational prep at the military college he was attending. 

He barely spoke to us via phone for 2 months.  When he finally surfaced for air he had a few days and quickly sent out thank you notes, returned letters, etc.  And yes, he used printed mailing labels and worked from the list he had with him. 

One of the reasons DS2 refused a HS graduation party and announcements was that he was too busy transitioning from a part time college student to full time, and working two jobs (his choice in his quest to not ask us to put him through school).  The second, and I believe the main reason, is that dealing with his dyslexia and the idea of writing dozens of notes stressed him out. 

If your graduate lounged around the pool for two months than that's poor manners.  If he was honestly busy than two months goes by very quickly. 
Title: Re: Generic Graduation Thank you.
Post by: nolechica on July 20, 2013, 11:11:35 PM
I didn't get some of my notes after high school because I went abroad 5 days after graduation and then started school again 3 days after I returned.  I had wrote mine, but learned a lesson about how tedious it was an shortened my list for my BA and then again for my MS. I'd much rather make a phone call or send an e-mail than hand write anything.
Title: Re: Generic Graduation Thank you.
Post by: Oh Joy on July 21, 2013, 06:18:02 AM
...
It was obvious that great care was taken with every aspect of this wedding.
...

You've had me thinking about the boundless energy and time some people put into planning and executing their events, handcrafting elements like invitations and decorations.  Then how much more of a shame - almost an insult, really - it is when the follow-up doesn't have the same level of care.  Probably not a new thought for most people, just for me.

Then also how different the graduation parties I've known have been from this structure, as the parents do almost all of the planning and execution, then the graduate is expected (rightly so) to do this one thing after growing accustomed to not being expected to help much.

I'll have to chew on this a bit more.  Thanks for the food for thought.
Title: Re: Generic Graduation Thank you.
Post by: jpcher on July 21, 2013, 01:45:09 PM
Maybe it's just me, but I would be a little confused at receiving an announcement when I've never met the graduate or his parents.  This just seems like treating the grad announcement as an investment.

No, it's not just you. Occasionally I'll receive an announcement from a cousin (that I haven't seen or talked to in 20+ years) who's son/daughter is graduating or getting married. I just give a private little WooHoo! and don't send a gift.

This is precisely why I didn't send a mass-mailing announcement for the DDs HS graduation to the entire extended family. I mean, I don't even send or receive xmas cards to/from them.


Funny story -- about 3 years after LDH and I were married, my parents visited us and presented us with a wedding gift from my aunt that was recently sent to them because Aunt didn't have our address.

A couple of days after the package was delivered to my parent home, my parents received a wedding announcement for one of Aunt's daughters. My mother laughed about it and said "I think that since Aunt sent you a wedding gift, I guess this means that I owe her DD a wedding gift."




Back on topic as for the TY note -- I agree with other posters, at least you got something!

I'm really not fond of the generic notes, however "The Graduate says thanks!" could easily have been rewritten as "I thank you so much for your gift." It's generic, but still more personal.

I'm wondering what sort of TYnote people received if they gave a pen/pencil set instead of money.



Much to my ("old-fashioned" etiquette) chagrin the DDs prefer to make a TY phone call instead of writing TYnotes. They say that a phone call is more personal and they get to talk to the gift giver. Hey, whatever works for them. At least they're recognizing the gift and saying thank you.

I think that a phone call is much better than a generic TY.




(edited to add a word)
Title: Re: Generic Graduation Thank you.
Post by: Lady Snowdon on July 22, 2013, 05:43:20 AM
I really don't like the photographic TY notes that seem to be spreading in popularity for weddings/graduations.  They take sooo long to arrive for the HC/graduate and then it takes even longer to go through the postal system. 

The photographer that DH and I hired for our wedding offered to do photographic TY notes, and the process that she set forth was just too much.  First we'd meet with her sometime after our honeymoon to pick out the photos we wanted.  Then she'd create what we wanted, and we'd either meet with her and confirm or do that via email.  Then she'd have to send it away somewhere to actually be done.  When the notes came in, she'd call us and we'd have to go to her studio and pick them up.  We went through that process for some photo albums we wanted and it took 3 months!  We were married in August and didn't get the last bits we'd ordered until just before Thanksgiving. 

Whenever there's been a long delay with notes and we end up getting a photographic one, I always just assume the delay was due to the process of getting the notes themselves, not people procrastinating. 
Title: Re: Generic Graduation Thank you.
Post by: bopper on July 22, 2013, 11:45:21 AM
Part of the reason of a thank you note is to acknowledge that they received your gift.  That they did.
The other reason is to show genuine thanks.  That they did not.

If this bothers you, then you know not to send a gift for the wedding announcement you are sure to get sometime in the future.
Title: Re: Generic Graduation Thank you.
Post by: Daquiri40 on July 22, 2013, 02:18:01 PM
Quote
I really don't like the photographic TY notes that seem to be spreading in popularity for weddings/graduations.  They take sooo long to arrive for the HC/graduate and then it takes even longer to go through the postal system.

I got one of these for my niece's graduation.  I didn't care for it either.  I gave a generous $$$ gift and felt like it wasn't really acknowledged.  I do not need a ten page letter but a handwritten thank you would have been nice.
Title: Re: Generic Graduation Thank you.
Post by: MariaE on July 22, 2013, 11:46:26 PM
I really don't like the photographic TY notes that seem to be spreading in popularity for weddings/graduations.  They take sooo long to arrive for the HC/graduate and then it takes even longer to go through the postal system. 

I'm the exact opposite. I don' care about 'formal' TY notes at all (send me an email, thank me in person or over the phone, I don't care) except for the photographic ones. And I'll be honest, if I attended a (Danish) wedding or baptism and receive a non photographic TY note, I would get slightly disappointed. Fortunately that's never happened  ;D