Etiquette Hell

Etiquette School is in session! => "Why would I want to do that?" => Topic started by: Softly Spoken on August 15, 2013, 05:35:04 PM

Title: UNBELIEVABLE Email!! (Ghast: flabbered!) *Update#29 Finale#33 Encore#40!*
Post by: Softly Spoken on August 15, 2013, 05:35:04 PM
Okay I decided to post in this section, though it could just as easily go in the "assumption" one, the "won't be possible" one and the Special Snowflake thread! :o My brother received a message from a coworker. He has promised to show me the actual email, mostly because I just have to see this for myself. I will try to explain but my brain is pretty broken trying to fathom the cluelessness and entitlement going on here. Let me break it down:

My brother has a coworker - he's not a boss, not a supervisor, not a friend - a coworker. They do not even work in the same section; they work on different parts of the same project. My brother describes his socialization with this guy as "we're (barely) acquaintances but he loves to tell me all his problems." ::) Clueless Co-Irker also has a habit of mooching rides to lunch since he takes a van pool to work. Bro avoids him whenever possible and the number of non-work-related conversations he has had with this guy over the years has been somewhere between nil and negligible. /BG

So my brother gets an email from this guy "voluntelling" Bro that he is going to come to Clueless's house next weekend and cook bbq for Clueless and his other friends while they go play golf.

 ???   ...... ??? ??? ???    Ba? Whu? Huh? Zoy?

When Bro told me about this, I peppered him with questions, trying in vain to find some silver of logic to explain this. No such luck:
A possible previous forgotten discussion? Nope, this was the first Bro was even hearing of it.
So no hint until now? Correct.
No "hey what are you doing next weekend?" or "would you like to-?" Nada.
Had they had a previous conversation about grilling/food/golf/cookouts anything to suggest Bro would have any interest from any angle whatsoever? NONE.
Was the weekend in question a holiday or special occasion?? Nope just the day Clueless wanted to golf and be catered to apparently! :o
Bro also told me that this guy lives a really long distance away. Like long enough that he probably wouldn't accept an actual invitation to something at his house (as opposed to the brain-melting 'summons' he actually received!).
Towards the end of the conversation I was saying to my brother "Are you sure he meant to send it to you? Maybe it was meant for an actual friend in another department or he's confusing you with somebody else??" Bro said he name was in the body of the email.

Apparently Clueless said that he would "show [Bro] where the alcohol was," from which Bro inferred that his time and assumed pit mastery would be compensated for in liquor. Just to reiterate the scenario that Clueless described in the email: my brother would be slaving over a hot grill while this coworker and his buddies enjoyed a game of golf!

So of course I asked my Bro how he replied. He said he wrote back at the end of today informing Clueless that he "had to bow out of the event C had planned" or something to that effect.

So basically, my brother politely declined to work as hired help free slave labor for a peer/near stranger who assumed he literally would do it without being asked!

 :o
I...I just....can't...even.

~*~*~*~*~*~
Okay so I talked to Bro some more and turns out the email is an extension of an earlier delusion. Clueless came in and told Bro in person (so we have to shatter the last hope we were all holding out that the email wasn't meant for Bro) that he was organizing this golf party and Bro was going to do the cooking. Same as email - he didn't ask just assumed his saying it made it a reality and didn't give any other info so Bro just assumed Clueless was talking out of his nether regions (re: both the party and Bro's role in it) until the email showed up. Apparently a very large number of people (coworkers) are expected to attend this little party, and as far as Bro knows he was the only one asked told to fix food.
So. Different mediums, same message and same assumptions.
Still rude. Still entitled. Still SO not gonna happen. ::)
Title: Re: UNBELIEVABLE Email!! (The ghast, it is flabbered!)
Post by: SlitherHiss on August 15, 2013, 05:37:57 PM
I'm not sure why you're needing to lie down over an entitled email your brother received, but it seems like he handled it very well. If the nature of the event changes, there's nothing wrong with bowing out.
Title: Re: UNBELIEVABLE Email!! (The ghast, it is flabbered!)
Post by: Jones on August 15, 2013, 05:49:44 PM
Wait.

He's being summoned to an event for which he wasn't even invited, not even for the event itself but as unpaid help to a group of people he doesn't even know?

Absolutely bizarre.
Title: Re: UNBELIEVABLE Email!! (The ghast, it is flabbered!)
Post by: Softly Spoken on August 15, 2013, 05:53:23 PM
I'm not sure why you're needing to lie down over an entitled email your brother received, but it seems like he handled it very well. If the nature of the event changes, there's nothing wrong with bowing out.

I'm exhausted from trying to wrap my brain around the whole thing. :P

The thing is - he (my brother) didn't bow into it in the first place! He didn't know there WAS an event! And it was not a bait and switch, the "nature" of the event was described to my brother as "you will grill for us while we golf and oh yeah have some booze."
He wasn't invited - this guy talked about it like it was a done deal in an email mentioning it for the first time.
You have to appreciate the irony of someone declining an invitation that he never actually received...
Title: Re: UNBELIEVABLE Email!! (The ghast, it is flabbered!)
Post by: GeauxTigers on August 15, 2013, 06:00:20 PM
Quote
So of course I asked my Bro how he replied. He said he wrote back at the end of today informing Clueless that he "had to bow out of the event C had planned" or something to that effect.

This is all that was needed:



(Dear) Clueless:

No.

Bro.
Title: Re: UNBELIEVABLE Email!! (The ghast, it is flabbered!)
Post by: VorFemme on August 15, 2013, 06:26:36 PM
If someone told this story about how their MIL told them to come over and BBQ while the rest of the family went out golfing (or anywhere else, for that matter) we would be loudly decrying the toxic nature of the MIL.

Having it be a male coworker instead of someone's MIL doesn't make it any less toxic, unbelievable, or outrageous.  If anything, it makes it even harder to understand - because there is no tie of blood, marriage, or friendship in there to explain why Clueless thought that the OP's brother would follow up with this demand "faux invitation" and show up to cook. 

Title: Re: UNBELIEVABLE Email!! (The ghast, it is flabbered!)
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on August 15, 2013, 06:33:27 PM
If someone told this story about how their MIL told them to come over and BBQ while the rest of the family went out golfing (or anywhere else, for that matter) we would be loudly decrying the toxic nature of the MIL.

Having it be a male coworker instead of someone's MIL doesn't make it any less toxic, unbelievable, or outrageous.  If anything, it makes it even harder to understand - because there is no tie of blood, marriage, or friendship in there to explain why Clueless thought that the OP's brother would follow up with this demand "faux invitation" and show up to cook.

POD. It's still definitely SS territory and gast-flabbering!
Title: Re: UNBELIEVABLE Email!! (The ghast, it is flabbered!)
Post by: hobish on August 15, 2013, 06:33:41 PM
That's pretty funny! :D And yet another crazy thing i've heard on EHell and just want to try.

Hey, Softly Spoken, You should be there by 7 on Friday so i can show you where the dog food is and everything. There are homemeade pickles in the fridge. I'll be home sometime around 8 Sunday evening if i don't call you for a ride! TA!
Title: Re: UNBELIEVABLE Email!! (The ghast, it is flabbered!)
Post by: shhh its me on August 15, 2013, 06:45:36 PM
Obvious you brother is a aspiring BBQ master and needs to practice for his upcoming food network cook off  >:D no?

You have to wonder how people this entitled function.
Title: Re: UNBELIEVABLE Email!! (The ghast, it is flabbered!)
Post by: Betelnut on August 15, 2013, 07:28:24 PM
Maybe the email was sent to the wrong person? It's easy enough to do in a lot of organizations.  That's all I've got here.
Title: Re: UNBELIEVABLE Email!! (The ghast, it is flabbered!)
Post by: JenJay on August 15, 2013, 07:48:35 PM
I'm sitting here giggling like crazy. It's just so.... No Way!!
Title: Re: UNBELIEVABLE Email!! (The ghast, it is flabbered!)
Post by: Knitterly on August 15, 2013, 07:56:30 PM
Maybe the email was sent to the wrong person? It's easy enough to do in a lot of organizations.  That's all I've got here.

That's all I've got, too. 

Maybe??

One can only hope, because if not....   ???
Title: Re: UNBELIEVABLE Email!! (The ghast, it is flabbered!)
Post by: shhh its me on August 15, 2013, 07:58:40 PM
Maybe the email was sent to the wrong person? It's easy enough to do in a lot of organizations.  That's all I've got here.

That's all I've got, too. 

Maybe??

One can only hope, because if not....   ???

Nope OP already checked that. Brother was mentioned by name in the body of the email.
Title: Re: UNBELIEVABLE Email!! (The ghast, it is flabbered!)
Post by: Softly Spoken on August 15, 2013, 10:44:20 PM
That's pretty funny! :D And yet another crazy thing i've heard on EHell and just want to try.

Hey, Softly Spoken, You should be there by 7 on Friday so i can show you where the dog food is and everything. There are homemeade pickles in the fridge. I'll be home sometime around 8 Sunday evening if i don't call you for a ride! TA!

Well, I'd like to think I'd have a shiny spine but...I love dogs...and pickles. ;) :P
But I can't drive so "I'm afraid that won't be possible!" ;D

And Merry Mrs Martin - the funny thing is Bro is actually very good at grilling and loves to do it - for himself and the family that appreciates him and his skill (and buys him things like bbq cookbooks, new tongs and metal grill skewers for xmas and b-days - because we are generous and thoughtful like that :)). But his grill skill has never come up at work.
Title: Re: UNBELIEVABLE Email!! (The ghast, it is flabbered!) *Details added*
Post by: jedikaiti on August 15, 2013, 11:09:56 PM
Wow. Scary people.
Title: Re: UNBELIEVABLE Email!! (The ghast, it is flabbered!) *Details added*
Post by: MariaE on August 16, 2013, 02:13:32 AM
Wow! That's right up there in SSness with the person who claimed that the OP couldn't go to a concert without her (on the "Life..." board).

What was Clueless' response to Bro turning him down?
Title: Re: UNBELIEVABLE Email!! (The ghast, it is flabbered!) *Details added*
Post by: veryfluffy on August 16, 2013, 04:53:00 AM
Would it have been wrong to simply not respond at all? Not even acknowledge receiving something like that? It would have been more amusing to me to imagine the co-irker thinking it was all settled, and then not having the designated cook show up.
Title: Re: UNBELIEVABLE Email!! (The ghast, it is flabbered!) *Details added*
Post by: Cherry91 on August 16, 2013, 05:49:39 AM
Would it have been wrong to simply not respond at all? Not even acknowledge receiving something like that? It would have been more amusing to me to imagine the co-irker thinking it was all settled, and then not having the designated cook show up.

It wouldn't have been wrong, but it might have invited extra conflict, because the SS would twist it in his head (and possibly to other people) into "Brother agreed to do this and then never turned up! He ruined the event!"
Title: Re: UNBELIEVABLE Email!! (The ghast, it is flabbered!) *Details added*
Post by: Seraphia on August 16, 2013, 08:41:39 AM
I feel like this could so easily be either a running gag in a sitcom or a setup for Punk'd:

-PresumptuousCoworker enters room-

PC: Hi folks, I hate to interrupt your meeting, but I just wanted to make sure I touched base with everyone.
Room: [silent goggle-boggle]
PC: So, Sharon, you're going to need to leave a half hour early to pick my daughter up from daycare tomorrow. Rob, the keys will be by the back door so you can get into the shed where I keep the mower. I prefer the backyard mowed in diagonals, by the way. Stephen, I'm going to need you to pick up four trays of cookies from Subway, all double chocolate. Oh, and Mark, the party is probably going to run late and involve alcohol, so bring some rubber gloves so that you and Jessie can get all the toilets sparkling afterward! Ok, see you tomorrow!
-PC leaves-
Room: [stunned and confused silence] Who was that guy anyway, does he even work here?
Title: Re: UNBELIEVABLE Email!! (The ghast, it is flabbered!) *Details added*
Post by: MrTango on August 16, 2013, 09:59:08 AM
Would it have been wrong to simply not respond at all? Not even acknowledge receiving something like that? It would have been more amusing to me to imagine the co-irker thinking it was all settled, and then not having the designated cook show up.

It wouldn't have been wrong, but it might have invited extra conflict, because the SS would twist it in his head (and possibly to other people) into "Brother agreed to do this and then never turned up! He ruined the event!"

As much as I'd want to delete the email with no response at all, I'd reply with "That is not going to happen."
Title: Re: UNBELIEVABLE Email!! (The ghast, it is flabbered!) *Details added*
Post by: magicdomino on August 16, 2013, 10:43:17 AM
I wonder if the people playing golf know that they are playing golf?  For that matter, do the people playing golf, play golf?
Title: Re: UNBELIEVABLE Email!! (The ghast, it is flabbered!) *Details added*
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on August 16, 2013, 11:40:35 AM
I feel like this could so easily be either a running gag in a sitcom or a setup for Punk'd:

-PresumptuousCoworker enters room-

PC: Hi folks, I hate to interrupt your meeting, but I just wanted to make sure I touched base with everyone.
Room: [silent goggle-boggle]
PC: So, Sharon, you're going to need to leave a half hour early to pick my daughter up from daycare tomorrow. Rob, the keys will be by the back door so you can get into the shed where I keep the mower. I prefer the backyard mowed in diagonals, by the way. Stephen, I'm going to need you to pick up four trays of cookies from Subway, all double chocolate. Oh, and Mark, the party is probably going to run late and involve alcohol, so bring some rubber gloves so that you and Jessie can get all the toilets sparkling afterward! Ok, see you tomorrow!
-PC leaves-
Room: [stunned and confused silence] Who was that guy anyway, does he even work here?

Anyone else hear this in the voice of the boss from Office Space?
Title: Re: UNBELIEVABLE Email!! (The ghast, it is flabbered!) *Details added*
Post by: ------ on August 16, 2013, 12:20:28 PM
Oh, boy! I think I just died a little from laughing! This was the funniest thing I've read in years.  ;D
Title: Re: UNBELIEVABLE Email!! (The ghast, it is flabbered!) *Details added*
Post by: MrTango on August 16, 2013, 12:21:49 PM
I feel like this could so easily be either a running gag in a sitcom or a setup for Punk'd:

-PresumptuousCoworker enters room-

PC: Hi folks, I hate to interrupt your meeting, but I just wanted to make sure I touched base with everyone.
Room: [silent goggle-boggle]
PC: So, Sharon, you're going to need to leave a half hour early to pick my daughter up from daycare tomorrow. Rob, the keys will be by the back door so you can get into the shed where I keep the mower. I prefer the backyard mowed in diagonals, by the way. Stephen, I'm going to need you to pick up four trays of cookies from Subway, all double chocolate. Oh, and Mark, the party is probably going to run late and involve alcohol, so bring some rubber gloves so that you and Jessie can get all the toilets sparkling afterward! Ok, see you tomorrow!
-PC leaves-
Room: [stunned and confused silence] Who was that guy anyway, does he even work here?

Anyone else hear this in the voice of the boss from Office Space?

"Yeaaaaah.  That'd be grrreeaaat."
Title: Re: UNBELIEVABLE Email!! (The ghast, it is flabbered!) *Details added*
Post by: Amara on August 16, 2013, 01:10:14 PM
Ooh, Evil Amara got out again.

Your brother should have responded that not only would he would be there to cook but he'd be happy to bring the meat if the co-worker wanted. And of course not shown up at all.

Amara butts in, shows Evil Amara back into the closet.

I think your brother responded very nicely.
Title: Re: UNBELIEVABLE Email!! (The ghast, it is flabbered!)
Post by: doodlemor on August 16, 2013, 09:32:02 PM

And Merry Mrs Martin - the funny thing is Bro is actually very good at grilling and loves to do it - for himself and the family that appreciates him and his skill (and buys him things like bbq cookbooks, new tongs and metal grill skewers for xmas and b-days - because we are generous and thoughtful like that :)). But his grill skill has never come up at work.

I wonder if the guy heard about this through some round about way. 
Title: Re: UNBELIEVABLE Email!! (The ghast, it is flabbered!) *Details added*
Post by: Wordgeek on August 17, 2013, 01:38:10 PM
[mod hat off]
I want to know how the coworker responds.  That's just so... :o I have no words.  Wow.

[mod hat back on]
And SlitherHiss, if you don't like the post or discussion, don't read it. You're not going to find every discussion here of equal interest to you.  Go participate in the threads that do interest you.

[mod hat off again]
I *really* want to know what the coworker says. What's he going to do when his minion doesn't appear as ordered? 
Title: Re: UNBELIEVABLE Email!! (The ghast, it is flabbered!) *Details added*
Post by: jedikaiti on August 17, 2013, 01:42:05 PM
Evil has a couple of ideas. One being Bro could have replied outlining an exhorbitant hourly rate. The other one is to reply with laughter.

Both Evil and I agree that Bro did not need to "bow out" of anything he hadn't bowed in to.

But I too am curious how CW will react.
Title: Re: UNBELIEVABLE Email!! (The ghast, it is flabbered!) *Details added*
Post by: *inviteseller on August 17, 2013, 08:00:49 PM
This is hysterical...I need to set this guy up on a date with my former co worker who had delusions like this.  She expected me to go to the grocery store for her and pick up all her ingredients for her potluck offering at work then bring them to her at work the next day...I don't drive and had to take 2 buses home because I had to pick a toddler up at day care!  I was not an ehellion at the time so I don't believe my answer was exactly polite. 
Title: Re: UNBELIEVABLE Email!! (The ghast, it is flabbered!) *Details added*
Post by: Softly Spoken on August 18, 2013, 07:17:14 PM
OP here. So for those of you curious about the fallout of the email, I give you the update I will call The Punishment Gift Of Silence  ;):

So Clueless gets to work the same time as Bro in the morning. He asked for earlier hours so he can get off earlier - he is supposed to clock out at 1:30 but Bro says he turns his computer off at 1:00 and is out the door by 1:10 every day. At the start of the day he will wander over to Bro's desk. He will put his feet up, sip his coffee and proceed to monologue about how much work he has to do, how his big expensive house needs all this work and how his current GF is taking all his money. I call it monologuing because he neither invites nor appreciates any feedback from Bro, and if Bro ever says anything Clueless just keeps talking like nothing happened. He also likes to sprinkle some potential PD into the mix by telling Bro how much he hates his coworkers and how so-and-so "threw him under the bus" etc. etc. Bro would never gossip but I still can't believe this guy is dumb enough to bad mouth the people he has to work with in a way that could very easily get back to them (if my Bro wasn't such a nice guy).

So after the "no thanks" email Bro noticed that Clueless has apparently decided to 'punish' Bro by giving him the silent treatment. He has stopped treating Bro to his a.m. gripefests. He has only come to him for work-related issues, and been very brief and chilly during all their exchanges.

Bro will obviously mourn the loss of such a valuable friendship.  :P Not! ;D

Don't you love those people who are so convinced that they are Deity's gift to the world that the worst thing they can think to do to you is deprive you of their presence? Sheesh.

...oh, and I told Bro not to worry, Cynical Softly is sure that Clueless will 'forgive' Bro and they will magically be friends again the minute Clueless wants something from him. ::)
Title: Re: UNBELIEVABLE Email!! (The ghast, it is flabbered!) *UPDATE post#29*
Post by: Zizi-K on August 18, 2013, 07:36:41 PM
Wow, what a truly breaktaking update!
I would really love to know what's going on in coworker's head...what a nut!
Title: Re: UNBELIEVABLE Email!! (The ghast, it is flabbered!) *UPDATE post#29*
Post by: PastryGoddess on August 18, 2013, 08:03:08 PM
Wow, what a truly breaktaking update!
I would really love to know what's going on in coworker's head...what a nut!

I'm thinking he does have a nut in there.  He obviously doesn't have any brains.
Title: Re: UNBELIEVABLE Email!! (The ghast, it is flabbered!) *UPDATE post#29*
Post by: BeagleMommy on August 19, 2013, 03:04:46 PM
Don't you just love when special snowflakes try to punish you by giving you the silent treatment?  If only they knew that you are secretly cheering and doing cartwheels in your mind because they are bothering someone else.

Good for your Bro!
Title: Re: UNBELIEVABLE Email!! (The ghast, is flabbered!) *Update post#29 Finale#33*
Post by: Softly Spoken on August 23, 2013, 05:46:24 PM
aaaaannnnnnd we have the cherry on top folks!

My Bro came home today and said Clueless (who has officially solidified his title with this latest conversation) is speaking to him again (darn it).

Clueless approached Bro today and informed that it was a shame Bro couldn't make it to the golf party because...

wait for iiiittt...

now Clueless would have to hire someone to cook the food!   ???  :o  >:(

Yes, clearly my Bro should feel like a terrible human being for not doing for free what poor poor Clueless will now have to pay for.

Smh... ::)
Title: Re: UNBELIEVABLE Email!! (This ghast is flabbered!) *Update post#29 Finale#33*
Post by: ------ on August 23, 2013, 05:51:40 PM
He had to be joking. Please, tell me he was joking. He was joking, right? Right? Because...you just don't...You just don't do that... :o
Title: Re: UNBELIEVABLE Email!! (This ghast is flabbered!) *Update post#29 Finale#33*
Post by: Anyanka on August 23, 2013, 06:14:10 PM
Poor Clueless... >:D

I feel so doubleplus unsorry for him.
Title: Re: UNBELIEVABLE Email!! (This ghast is flabbered!) *Update post#29 Finale#33*
Post by: PastryGoddess on August 23, 2013, 07:14:44 PM
it's like Clueless is living in a parallel universe that only he inhabits. 
Title: Re: UNBELIEVABLE Email!! (This ghast is flabbered!) *Update post#29 Finale#33*
Post by: Library Dragon on August 23, 2013, 07:27:47 PM
I think I saw Clueless' picture next to the definition of "solipsist".
Title: Re: UNBELIEVABLE Email!! (This ghast is flabbered!) *Update post#29 Finale#33*
Post by: HenrysMom on August 23, 2013, 07:50:01 PM
How did your brother respond?  Please tell me he laughed hysterically whilst turning on his heel in the other direction.
Title: Re: UNBELIEVABLE Email!! (This ghast is flabbered!) *Update post#29 Finale#33*
Post by: mharbourgirl on August 24, 2013, 07:42:51 AM
Here's something I said to my MIL once when she was being particularly *herself* one day:

"What colour is the sky on your planet, and how many drugs do you have to take before it turns back to blue????"

Feel free to pass it on to your brother, he'll probably get to use it.

*wanders off in a daze to get more coffee*
Title: Re: UNBELIEVABLE Email!! (Ghast is flabbered!) *Update post#29 Finale#33&Encore*
Post by: Softly Spoken on August 24, 2013, 05:23:23 PM
mharbourgirl that is AWESOME!  ;D I will be sure to tell me Bro about it - though I don't think he would say that to Clueless.

BarensMom, my Bro is the King of the Nonplussed. He does not take one iota of a P/A hint like Clueless gave him. So the convo (as he related it to me) went something like this:

Clueless: Well...it's too bad you can't make it to my golf party.
Bro: *totally neutral/deadpan* Yup, sure is.
Clueless: I guess now I'll have to hire someone to cook the food.
Bro: Yup, guess so.
Clueless: *gripe moan etc. etc.* I'll have to pay my kids to do it for me!
Bro: *silently tuning up the world's tiniest violin* Sounds like a plan.

 ;D

And the saga continues: Bro has informed me that Clueless informed him that "it's okay you're missing the golf party - you'll just have to come around and help me set up my new entertainment system when it gets delivered." Bro can't wait...  ::)
 
Title: Re: UNBELIEVABLE Email!! (Ghast: flabbered!) *Update#29 Finale#33 Encore#40!*
Post by: Amara on August 24, 2013, 05:40:52 PM
And when Bro declines that wonderful "invitation" I think he can count on the next one being "you can come around and do the clean up; we'll even save a [cold] burger and [warm] beer for you!"
Title: Re: UNBELIEVABLE Email!! (Ghast: flabbered!) *Update#29 Finale#33 Encore#40!*
Post by: Wordgeek on August 24, 2013, 06:08:39 PM
Where did Clueless get the idea that your brother is his personal assistant / slave?  It's just so  :o

Your brother handles himself well. I'd be tempted to start running with this.  Pay?  You didn't mention pay.  My usual rate is $200 an hour.  Hundred bucks an hour for my three assistants.  I keep the BBQ equipment at the end of the day.  Plus round trip, first class tickets to Hawaii. Also, free housecleaning service for a year.  And five gold rings, four calling birds, two French hens, and a partridge in a pear tree.  In advance. 

Clueless is brain hurty.
Title: Re: UNBELIEVABLE Email!! (Ghast: flabbered!) *Update#29 Finale#33 Encore#40!*
Post by: jedikaiti on August 24, 2013, 06:20:50 PM
I think Bro's nonplussed method is really the way to go, but WordGeek's pay scale and/or directly calling him out on it is very tempting. "I am not your personal servant, nor do I have any interest in auditioning for the job. Perhaps you should advertise on Craigslist instead of demanding services from uninterested parties."
Title: Re: UNBELIEVABLE Email!! (Ghast: flabbered!) *Update#29 Finale#33 Encore#40!*
Post by: missmolly on August 24, 2013, 06:27:18 PM
EvilMolly: "Clueless, did nobody tell you that slavery is illegal?"

I would love to see how many idiotic requests he runs through before he takes the hint. IF he ever takes the hint.
Title: Re: UNBELIEVABLE Email!! (Ghast: flabbered!) *Update#29 Finale#33 Encore#40!*
Post by: *inviteseller on August 24, 2013, 06:32:36 PM
He sounds just like my former co worker.  If she is invited anywhere, the host has to come pick her up and drive her back.  Not anyone else, the host.  She expects everyone to wait on her and if no one bent over for her, she would whine "I have always been a princess...my dad raised me to be a princess!"  This is the same woman who snagged her sister's married BIL for herself because she should be married to her twins husbands brother...then proceeded to bankrupt him with her expensive tastes and lack of money skills, then divorced him because (exact words) "if he cannot take care of me the way I should be, then the marriage is over."  People like this walk among us   <shudder>
Title: Re: UNBELIEVABLE Email!! (Ghast: flabbered!) *Update#29 Finale#33 Encore#40!*
Post by: wonderfullyanonymous on August 24, 2013, 06:35:01 PM
 The next time clueless coworker pops up to voluntell Bro about his coming over to help, Bro should tell him it will cost him $100 an hour, but only if he can pay ahead of time, and the estimated time it will take, but nothing less than say...6hours. SO, clueless coworker will have to come up with at leat $600, cash only, and if said job looks like it may run over, then he will have to pay Bro ahead of time for another 6 hours, even if job will take an hour or 2.
Title: Re: UNBELIEVABLE Email!! (Ghast: flabbered!) *Update#29 Finale#33 Encore#40!*
Post by: Wordgeek on August 24, 2013, 06:56:25 PM
Jedi's "I am not your personal servant" line is probably more polite than the pay scale thing.  It's probably also more polite than asking, "What did your last slave die of."
Title: Re: UNBELIEVABLE Email!! (Ghast: flabbered!) *Update#29 Finale#33 Encore#40!*
Post by: HenrysMom on August 24, 2013, 07:26:42 PM
OP, does your brother know why Clueless thinks that he is supposed to do all this for him?   If I were your brother, I'd save up the e-mails, then ask my supervisor if being an unpaid slave for Clueless was part of the job description.

Title: Re: UNBELIEVABLE Email!! (Ghast: flabbered!) *Update#29 Finale#33 Encore#40!*
Post by: gramma dishes on August 24, 2013, 08:09:35 PM
Where did Clueless get the idea that your brother is his personal assistant / slave?  It's just so  :o

Your brother handles himself well. I'd be tempted to start running with this.  Pay?  You didn't mention pay.  My usual rate is $200 an hour.  Hundred bucks an hour for my three assistants.  I keep the BBQ equipment at the end of the day.  Plus round trip, first class tickets to Hawaii. Also, free housecleaning service for a year.  And five gold rings, four calling birds, two French hens, and a partridge in a pear tree.  In advance.  ...


With all due respect, Wordgeek, I love this way more than the "I am not your personal servant" line. 

But OP, I too wonder where Clueless got the idea that your brother would just love and be honored to do all this stuff for him in the first place?  He isn't your brother's boss, is he?  Have they ever socialized in any way?  Has he ever done a favor of any kind for your brother that he now wants 'repaid'?

Your brother's ultra calm demeanor seems to be misinterpreted as "Yeah, he's going to do it.  He didn't outright tell me no."
I think your brother is going to have to change tactics a little or this could go on forever.  I think next time he should just say a very clear "No, that's not going to happen" so clueless doesn't get his hopes up and then get mad when your brother "backs out" of something he never agreed to in the first place.
Title: Re: UNBELIEVABLE Email!! (Ghast: flabbered!) *Update#29 Finale#33 Encore#40!*
Post by: Softly Spoken on August 24, 2013, 08:25:42 PM
To those who are asking why Clueless thinks Bro should do things for him...

My theory is it is a combination of Clueless's personality with Bros:

Bro is a Very Easy-Going Guy. A Team Player. His answer to most work-related requests is "No problem!" If he isn't careful, he can be taken advantage of (but he's getting better!). Enter Clueless...
Based on how Bro has described him, Clueless is not a schemer or manipulator, he is just Lazy. He leaves a void and expects others to fill it. He will do whatever he can get away with - or not do whatever he can get away with not doing.

Example anecdote: Clueless had this cart he was supposed to transfer somewhere and asked Bro to "help" him. They started out pushing it together. Then Bro noticed that he was doing most if not all of the pushing. He didn't have to say anything, he just stopped pushing and forced Clueless to start pushing again. Clueless let Bro do most of the work as long as Bro was willing to - but when Bro physically called him on it (without calling him on it), Clueless had to pick up the slack he had created and actually do his job. This incident with the cart is a pretty good metaphor for how Clueless seems to live his life: he lets other people do his work and pick up his slack, as long as he can get away with it.

To Bro, Clueless is just a gnat that buzzes around work. Bro has enough autonomy that his work isn't affected. I once told him that (based on how he describes his job) he is as close to self-employed as you can hope to get while still getting a paycheck from someone else. So this fluff from Clueless isn't an HR/drama thing and more a head-shaking so-this-amusing-diversion happened at work today situation. Bro is too laid back to care about Clueless' delusions of grandeur. He's dealt with ruder, crazier and more delusional (he used to work third shift >:D). The way he sees it, at least he has some interesting stories to tell about work.

I told Bro that when he does get stressed or fed up with annoying co-irkers (incompetence ticks him off more than rudeness), he can count down his days to retirement...or Clueless' retirement, whichever comes first. ::)
Title: Re: UNBELIEVABLE Email!! (Ghast: flabbered!) *Update#29 Finale#33 Encore#40!*
Post by: jedikaiti on August 24, 2013, 08:27:23 PM
Where did Clueless get the idea that your brother is his personal assistant / slave?  It's just so  :o

Your brother handles himself well. I'd be tempted to start running with this.  Pay?  You didn't mention pay.  My usual rate is $200 an hour.  Hundred bucks an hour for my three assistants.  I keep the BBQ equipment at the end of the day.  Plus round trip, first class tickets to Hawaii. Also, free housecleaning service for a year.  And five gold rings, four calling birds, two French hens, and a partridge in a pear tree.  In advance.  ...


With all due respect, Wordgeek, I love this way more than the "I am not your personal servant" line. 

I like it too, but I think $200/hour is insufficient.
Title: Re: UNBELIEVABLE Email!! (Ghast: flabbered!) *Update#29 Finale#33 Encore#40!*
Post by: lady_disdain on August 24, 2013, 08:28:01 PM
He sounds just like my former co worker.  If she is invited anywhere, the host has to come pick her up and drive her back.  Not anyone else, the host.  She expects everyone to wait on her and if no one bent over for her, she would whine "I have always been a princess...my dad raised me to be a princess!"  This is the same woman who snagged her sister's married BIL for herself because she should be married to her twins husbands brother...then proceeded to bankrupt him with her expensive tastes and lack of money skills, then divorced him because (exact words) "if he cannot take care of me the way I should be, then the marriage is over."  People like this walk among us   <shudder>

I would be so tempted to invited her to a dinner party and, then, show up in a minibus, pick her up an take her around to pick up every other guest as well. I couldn't possibly treat the other guests differently, could I?
Title: Re: UNBELIEVABLE Email!! (Ghast: flabbered!) *Update#29 Finale#33 Encore#40!*
Post by: gramma dishes on August 24, 2013, 08:37:10 PM
He sounds just like my former co worker.  If she is invited anywhere, the host has to come pick her up and drive her back.  Not anyone else, the host.  She expects everyone to wait on her and if no one bent over for her, she would whine "I have always been a princess...my dad raised me to be a princess!" 

If I were the hapless hostess who was foolish enough to invite her and she made the demand that I personally come and pick her up and return her home, I would just have said "Oh, so sorry you won't be able to make it" and made quick revision of my guest list for all future events.

Shame on the Dad for raising a Princess Heinous!
Title: Re: UNBELIEVABLE Email!! (Ghast: flabbered!) *Update#29 Finale#33 Encore#40!*
Post by: Wordgeek on August 24, 2013, 08:58:42 PM
To be honest, gramma, I like it better, too.  I'm just not convinced it's polite.  Tempting, yes...
Title: Re: UNBELIEVABLE Email!! (Ghast: flabbered!) *Update#29 Finale#33 Encore#40!*
Post by: Zizi-K on August 25, 2013, 07:38:18 PM
Softly Spoken, I would love for your brother, in response to one of these outlandish orders, simply say "Now, why would I do that?" and look this ridiculous man in the eye and wait for a response. I can just imagine the sputtering and confusion that would take place in response.
Title: Re: UNBELIEVABLE Email!! (Ghast: flabbered!) *Update#29 Finale#33 Encore#40!*
Post by: diesel_darlin on August 25, 2013, 07:42:52 PM
Jedi's "I am not your personal servant" line is probably more polite than the pay scale thing.  It's probably also more polite than asking, "What did your last slave die of."

I just laughed so hard at this. I honestly would have a hard time NOT saying this to Clueless.  ;D
Title: Re: UNBELIEVABLE Email!! (Ghast: flabbered!) *Update#29 Finale#33 Encore#40!*
Post by: weeblewobble on August 28, 2013, 08:39:17 AM
He sounds just like my former co worker.  If she is invited anywhere, the host has to come pick her up and drive her back.  Not anyone else, the host.  She expects everyone to wait on her and if no one bent over for her, she would whine "I have always been a princess...my dad raised me to be a princess!"  This is the same woman who snagged her sister's married BIL for herself because she should be married to her twins husbands brother...then proceeded to bankrupt him with her expensive tastes and lack of money skills, then divorced him because (exact words) "if he cannot take care of me the way I should be, then the marriage is over."  People like this walk among us   <shudder>

I wish parents who coddle and treat their little girls like princesses could see video of women like this so they could see how their choices affect their daughters in the long-term. Yes, it's adorable to see your little girl act like a little monarch, but how is that going to affect how they interact with the world and people around them? It really sucks to realize your friend/sister/coworker/fellow church member only sees you as a source of her due portion of adoration and goodies.

This is part of the reason DH and I avoided overly "princess-ifying" our daughter.  No princess t-shirts, no cutesy items stating "I'm the princess and you're not" type sentiments, no telling her that she was too pretty or dainty to do certain things.  Don't get me wrong, she got occasional princess moments. She was a princess for two Halloweens. We were at Disney on her birthday, so she got the full bobbity-boo makeover and got to have breakfast with Ariel and Jasmine.  But she wasn't all princess, all the time.  We wanted a well-rounded little girl who is comfortable in different roles, athlete, student, goofball, friend, and yes, occasionally, princess.
Title: Re: UNBELIEVABLE Email!! (Ghast: flabbered!) *Update#29 Finale#33 Encore#40!*
Post by: Minmom3 on August 28, 2013, 10:25:44 AM
Weeble - sounds like you want your daughter to understand that the penalty for being overly princessy can be that everybody thinks you're an annoying snot, and avoids you like the plague!  Good goal!!!   ;D

MIL (who raised 6 kids - 5 boys and 1 girl) used to tell me "any little girl who can't wrap her father around her finger isn't worth her salt!" and I'd look at her and tell her I didn't WANT child OR husband who was that manipulative or easy to manipulate.  I expected brains and direct behavior out of both of them... 
Title: Re: UNBELIEVABLE Email!! (Ghast: flabbered!) *Update#29 Finale#33 Encore#40!*
Post by: AfleetAlex on August 28, 2013, 10:47:06 AM
My cousin has a running joke with the family that she's the princess (she's an adult and this is all in fun). One day I teased her by saying I'd rather be the queen. She said (teasing), "Well the princess is young and beautiful," and I responded, "Maybe, but the queen has all the power."

Her younger sister, meanwhile, says she wants to be the w*nch.  ;D

ETA: it changed that last word to 'woman'. Sorry about that.
Title: Re: UNBELIEVABLE Email!! (Ghast: flabbered!) *Update#29 Finale#33 Encore#40!*
Post by: AfleetAlex on August 28, 2013, 10:58:07 AM
Back on topic: It sounds like Clueless had a conversation with your brother that entirely took place in his head, in which he asked Bro to assist, and only then informed your brother that this conversation existed! Sadly, I'm guessing this won't be the last time Clueless does something like this.
Title: Re: UNBELIEVABLE Email!! (Ghast: flabbered!) *Update#29 Finale#33 Encore#40!*
Post by: MrTango on August 28, 2013, 02:08:18 PM
He sounds just like my former co worker.  If she is invited anywhere, the host has to come pick her up and drive her back.  Not anyone else, the host.  She expects everyone to wait on her and if no one bent over for her, she would whine "I have always been a princess...my dad raised me to be a princess!"  This is the same woman who snagged her sister's married BIL for herself because she should be married to her twins husbands brother...then proceeded to bankrupt him with her expensive tastes and lack of money skills, then divorced him because (exact words) "if he cannot take care of me the way I should be, then the marriage is over."  People like this walk among us   <shudder>

I think it's fair to say he bankrupted himself by catering to her expensive tastes.  Also, he clearly lacked money skills if he allowed himself to go broke...
Title: Re: UNBELIEVABLE Email!! (Ghast: flabbered!) *Update#29 Finale#33 Encore#40!*
Post by: weeblewobble on August 28, 2013, 02:28:34 PM
Weeble - sounds like you want your daughter to understand that the penalty for being overly princessy can be that everybody thinks you're an annoying snot, and avoids you like the plague!  Good goal!!!   ;D

MIL (who raised 6 kids - 5 boys and 1 girl) used to tell me "any little girl who can't wrap her father around her finger isn't worth her salt!" and I'd look at her and tell her I didn't WANT child OR husband who was that manipulative or easy to manipulate.  I expected brains and direct behavior out of both of them...

Blargh.  The implication that women/girls can only get what they want through manipulating men.  Not exactly something I want to pass on to another generation.

It reminds me of a poster whose FIL was "horrified" that she ordered what she wanted in restaurants for herself and told her DH directly what she wanted in terms of the house they were purchasing together.  FIL preferred women who hinted around at what they wanted without asking directly, so they could "get permission to get what they wanted."

Which brings us full circle back to Clueless.  He's helpless all right. Helpless like a fox.  OP, your brother handled it beautifully
Title: Re: UNBELIEVABLE Email!! (Ghast: flabbered!) *Update#29 Finale#33 Encore#40!*
Post by: Minmom3 on August 28, 2013, 08:48:11 PM
***
Blargh.  The implication that women/girls can only get what they want through manipulating men.  Not exactly something I want to pass on to another generation.

***

Exactly.  I was horrified that she said it.  The first time, I thought she was joking.  Several repetitions made it clear that she was NOT joking, and I moved from horrified to really offended.  I grew up with a ton of manipulation from multiple generations, and it does not make me happy...  Ask permission - Oh HELL no.  Consult - sure thing.  Beat around the bush - no, thank you.  Ask directly - yes, please!  Life is far too short for those kinds of shenanigans!   >:(
Title: Re: UNBELIEVABLE Email!! (Ghast: flabbered!) *Update#29 Finale#33 Encore#40!*
Post by: MrTango on August 29, 2013, 09:37:14 AM
***
Blargh.  The implication that women/girls can only get what they want through manipulating men.  Not exactly something I want to pass on to another generation.

***

Exactly.  I was horrified that she said it.  The first time, I thought she was joking.  Several repetitions made it clear that she was NOT joking, and I moved from horrified to really offended.  I grew up with a ton of manipulation from multiple generations, and it does not make me happy...  Ask permission - Oh HELL no.  Consult - sure thing.  Beat around the bush - no, thank you.  Ask directly - yes, please!  Life is far too short for those kinds of shenanigans!   >:(

I'm pretty good at reading people to know whether they're trying to manipulate me, and on the few occasions where I haven't picked up on it, LadyTango does.  Trying to "manipulate" me into getting what you want is a sure-fire way to make sure that I won't give it to you.
Title: Re: UNBELIEVABLE Email!! (Ghast: flabbered!) *Update#29 Finale#33 Encore#40!*
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on August 30, 2013, 07:47:37 PM
Gah, DH and I are friends with a couple *well, we're still friends with the wife, we've given the stbx the cut direct, but we were at one point friends with both* who did the "Where would you like to go? Wherever you want! But I'll eat wherever you want!"

I wanted to scream "MAKE A DECISION!!!!!!" And sometimes I'd say "Hey, how about a decision on dinner before it gets to be lunchtime tomorrow?"  Yeah, I know, sarcastic but we knew these people well enough to be like that.

And there were times I'd say "Okay since you two can't decide, how about pizza?" well then it became another round of "where should we order from? Papa John's? Dominoes? Pizza Hut?"

Once she said "I'm in the mood for Pizza Hut's pizza, but we can get something else since I know you don't like them." This was said to her hubby who had a bad experience working for them.  Knowing him and his work ethic, the bad experience probably was because they expected him to work instead of eating. 

He said "No, you want it, we'll eat there!"
"No really, I don't mind eating pizza from somewhere else!" (and I do believe she meant it)
"No, we're going there!"
"I don't even want it anymore!"
"Yes you do, so let's go!"

Then the whole time we're there he's scowling and saying "I can't believe you would pick Pizza Hut and insist we eat here!"  ::)

Title: Re: UNBELIEVABLE Email!! (Ghast: flabbered!) *Update#29 Finale#33 Encore#40!*
Post by: suzieQ on August 30, 2013, 09:32:57 PM
DH use to pull stuff like that. He would ask where I wanted to go, I would tell him, then he would proceed to tell me about 10 other restaurants in the area. Look, I told you what I want. If you don't want that, then say so. I've picked, I don't need to know about all the other options available.
Title: Re: UNBELIEVABLE Email!! (Ghast: flabbered!) *Update#29 Finale#33 Encore#40!*
Post by: Mel the Redcap on August 30, 2013, 10:04:16 PM
Posting for any further updates, because you bet there will be more! :D
Title: Re: UNBELIEVABLE Email!! (Ghast: flabbered!) *Update#29 Finale#33 Encore#40!*
Post by: RegionMom on August 30, 2013, 10:12:20 PM
DH and his college roommate had a deal going on back then that we do as a family today-

one person suggests a restaurant or activity.  if the second person does not like it, they must offer an alternative.

If no alternative is offered, first person gets their place. 

"Game" continues till all persons agree.

of course, we sometimes overide with the addition of "The Golden Rule" as parents--"He who has the gold makes the rules."

:)
Title: Re: UNBELIEVABLE Email!! (Ghast: flabbered!) *Update#29 Finale#33 Encore#40!*
Post by: HenrysMom on September 06, 2013, 01:17:00 PM
Dang!  I saw this thread and thought there was an update!
Title: Re: UNBELIEVABLE Email!! (Ghast: flabbered!) *Update#29 Finale#33 Encore#40!*
Post by: Softly Spoken on September 06, 2013, 03:28:16 PM
Dang!  I saw this thread and thought there was an update!

Sorry BarensMom, no big stuff so far...

Bro has been swamped but he did relay this little anecdote to me the other day (he is lucky that he is able to find Clueless a source of amusement instead of annoyance):

Everyone has been dumping their work on him *ahem* I mean "asking for his help" in which "help" translates to "you do it." Now this is basically the work version of what Clueless has been doing, but Bro actually does have to help these guys to some extent so he can be seen as a "team player." This is the downside to having autonomy and flexibility in his job: the higher ups don't actually care who does the work as long as it gets done and is on time. If it is done wrong or late, then individual blame will be assigned.  ::) Until then, Bro can't really say no to a help request until he can prove it would interfere with his own work enough. *sigh*
So of course Clueless was right there with his own "help" request, which Bro was free to put low on his priority list because Clueless is not actually on Bro's team - they are working towards the same common goal but they are not in the same section. Bro was explaining to C that he already had CloserCoworker's work to do and OtherCoworker had tapped him to help out...and Clueless was standing there saying "yeah, I feel your pain man."      ???

 ::) Riiiiiight. Because the pain of shouldering the responsibilities of others is totally equivalent to the pain of having to do your own job because you can't find someone else to do it for you. Excuse me while I go find my eyes as I rolled them a little too hard at that last line... :P
Title: Re: UNBELIEVABLE Email!! (Ghast: flabbered!) *Update#29 Finale#33 Encore#40!*
Post by: Midnight Kitty on September 06, 2013, 04:00:22 PM
I went on a ski weekend with my brother and some mutual friends a few decades ago.  I had hurt knees from previous skiing accidents, so I was going up to enjoy a long weekend in the snowy Sierras while the rest of the gang were planning to ski ski ski.  One other guy wasn't a skier either and he brought his professional massage table.  We all agreed which meals we were going to share.  I volunteered to do the food shopping on my way up to the cabin.  Everyone chipped it $$.

I love to cook and had a wonderful time making the breakfasts and dinners for the gang.  The cabin had a built in sauna.  I helped the other non-skier give massages in front of the fire.  I still have warm fuzzy memories of that weekend.  I got to curl up with a good book in front of the cozy fire and watch the snow fall outside.  Everyone thanked me many times for taking care of the food.

The difference between that weekend and the event Clueless wanted your brother to cater was that I wanted to do the shopping and cooking.  I volunteered!  My choice!  And everyone was appropriately, even excessively, thankful.  I didn't have to ask anyone to "help" wash the dirty dishes. ;D
Title: Re: UNBELIEVABLE Email!! (Ghast: flabbered!) *Update#29 Finale#33 Encore#40!*
Post by: Minmom3 on September 08, 2013, 12:35:04 AM
Which quite nicely illustrates the vast difference between 'volunteering' and 'voluntelling', doesn't it?!   >:D
Title: Re: UNBELIEVABLE Email!! (Ghast: flabbered!) *Update#29 Finale#33 Encore#40!*
Post by: SheryllJane on September 28, 2013, 06:42:57 PM
This  stuation ihappened to a friend of mine with her sister in law.  Friend says she is going to start training for a 180 mile bike ride and sister in law (who screamed her out a few years ago) chimes in When are we starting and where.  Unbelievable!
Title: Re: UNBELIEVABLE Email!! (Ghast: flabbered!) *Update#29 Finale#33 Encore#40!*
Post by: siamesecat2965 on November 18, 2013, 02:56:59 PM
THe story about Clueless and the cart reminds me so much of MY former CW, who I  dubbed Useless. While he didn't go as far as assuming that any of us would help him outside of work, he was a master as trying to get others to DO his work for him.

He was tasked with putting together a brief summary of all activity relevant to the company, from a larger "pool" of info, monthly, to be sent to the board. So anyone else would ahve looked through the weekly doc we produce, pulled out the important stuff, and if not sure, asked one of us to give it a once over. I can totally see that, but not Useless. Oh no, he'd wander over and ask any of us could we "put something together for him" i.e. do his task for him. We all told him no, and he'd accept it, so I think he knew exactly waht he was doing.  Thankfully, although it took years,and I'm not joking, he was finally let go.
Title: Re: UNBELIEVABLE Email!! (Ghast: flabbered!) *Update#29 Finale#33 Encore#40!*
Post by: Annoyed in America on November 30, 2013, 11:39:43 PM
DH use to pull stuff like that. He would ask where I wanted to go, I would tell him, then he would proceed to tell me about 10 other restaurants in the area. Look, I told you what I want. If you don't want that, then say so. I've picked, I don't need to know about all the other options available.

Why do guys do that?  Mine does it too.  He will ask my opinion than just ignore it.  So now I just say "Whatever."
Title: Re: UNBELIEVABLE Email!! (Ghast: flabbered!) *Update#29 Finale#33 Encore#40!*
Post by: Luci on December 01, 2013, 08:53:59 AM
DH use to pull stuff like that. He would ask where I wanted to go, I would tell him, then he would proceed to tell me about 10 other restaurants in the area. Look, I told you what I want. If you don't want that, then say so. I've picked, I don't need to know about all the other options available.

Why do guys do that?  Mine does it too.  He will ask my opinion than just ignore it.  So now I just say "Whatever."

Not just guys! My stepmother use to do that - always! Drove us nuts.
Title: Re: UNBELIEVABLE Email!! (Ghast: flabbered!) *Update#29 Finale#33 Encore#40!*
Post by: VorFemme on December 01, 2013, 12:00:10 PM
DH use to pull stuff like that. He would ask where I wanted to go, I would tell him, then he would proceed to tell me about 10 other restaurants in the area. Look, I told you what I want. If you don't want that, then say so. I've picked, I don't need to know about all the other options available.

Why do guys do that?  Mine does it too.  He will ask my opinion than just ignore it.  So now I just say "Whatever."

Not just guys! My stepmother use to do that - always! Drove us nuts.

But they do complain that YOU never pick a restaurant - because they apparently don't register it when you tell them that you want something that they don't want.  Or just don't register it because they haven't switched modes yet - from asking to listening...

I can come in the door with the mail in my hand, give it to VorGuy, he'll set it down, and then five minutes later ask if the mail has been picked up yet....

He'll ask me what I want, I say "Italian", and he tells me that he's in the mood for BBQ (or Mexican) - then ask me AGAIN what I want to eat.  Until I agree with him or say "doesn't matter" - then he says that I never have any ideas on where to eat...

Umm - I have ideas - but I tend to eat out at lunch (by myself, with Red Hat friends, or pick up drive through if I'm running errands) because negotiating where we will both eat at one meal takes too blooming long!

I have found telling him that we have gift cards on hand for X & Y - then he can pick whichever one of those he wants.