Etiquette Hell

General Etiquette => Life...in general => Topic started by: FOSTER on August 20, 2013, 10:17:01 PM

Title: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: FOSTER on August 20, 2013, 10:17:01 PM
I read this today and thought of this group. Any opinions?



http://blogs.laweekly.com/squidink/2011/07/potluck_etiquette_rules.php

Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: MrTango on August 20, 2013, 10:32:17 PM
The author's tone is condescending, but I do think she makes some good points.

1-3) I agree heartily.  Better to bring an overabundance of food to a potluck than not enough.
4-5) IMO, whoever brings a given item to a potluck is responsible for it being made ready for consumption at the appointed time.  The host's responsibility is to provide instructions and coordination on where to place items being served.
6) Someone has to be first in line.  Usually, it's whoever happens to be standing closest to the plates.
7) Short of food-safety issues, I agree.  Certain foods being under-cooked, however, are a food safety issue and need to be addressed so as to reduce the risk of food-borne illness.  (Of course, one ought to address such an issue in a polite manner so as to minimize the embarassment of the host and the person who brought the dish).
8-10) Agreed.
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: Eeep! on August 20, 2013, 10:51:26 PM
I think the potluck described sounds horrible and not fun at all. Heh.
I think I'm glad the ones I've attended have mostly been small. ;-)
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: DottyG on August 20, 2013, 11:06:35 PM
I don't agree with the added #16. That's usually pretty good - and often grabbed up pretty quickly at a lot of potlucks I've been to.  The person must not have good stores near her.
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: Library Dragon on August 20, 2013, 11:23:19 PM
1. Yes!  The dish should be large enough for your family plus a few more.  I have been to many a potluck where a family of six brought a tiny container of potato salad. 

The added #20 is spot on. Your dish should be ready or almost so.  There is no guarantee that there will be room in the oven, fridge, etc. 

My own added is keep to the theme.  I remember the "finger food only" potluck I was put in charge of and someone brought a jello salad.  No, the only utensils were for serving.  I wasn't scrambling to find spoons and bowls because someone wanted to change the theme. 
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: Joeschmo on August 20, 2013, 11:25:49 PM
I don't agree with the added #16. That's usually pretty good - and often grabbed up pretty quickly at a lot of potlucks I've been to.  The person must not have good stores near her.

I went back to double check the article and still can't figure out what #16 you are talking about :-\?  Can you link to it because the list only has 10 rules and I don't see any additions or follow up articles.  Maybe I missed it. :-[

eta: because edition and addition aren't the same word  ;D
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: Library Dragon on August 20, 2013, 11:32:01 PM
It's in the comment section.

Quote
16. Grocery store chicken is not an acceptable dish to bring, because EVERYBODY brings the chicken from Albertsons with its mojo potatoes and its King's Hawaiian bread.
 >:(

I think the issue is when several people bring this. 
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: DottyG on August 21, 2013, 12:02:28 AM
My comment didn't save earlier.

But I'd make an addition. If you know you're not well, stay home. I was at a potluck where one of the guests ended up having hepatitis. All the guests had to get hep shots the next day. That rule should be common sense, but it apparently isn't.


Not a fun memory of the otherwise fun event.



Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: cass2591 on August 21, 2013, 12:43:49 AM
Dotty, your post did save, I just deleted it. I did so because your comment about not attending if one is ill is common sense. Have faith in your fellow posters not to knowingly infect their friends/families/people they have to put up with.
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: DottyG on August 21, 2013, 12:46:04 AM
Dotty, your post did save, I just deleted it. I did so because your comment about not attending if one is ill is common sense. Have faith in your fellow posters not to willingly infect their friends/families/people they have to put up with.

Like I just said, you'd think it would be common sense. But it appears it isn't. Just like the actual 10 in the link.
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: Marbles on August 21, 2013, 01:46:25 AM
I'd add that if you are organizing/providing space for a potluck, to schedule the meal as the first activity of the gathering so that the food is at its best. Don't have people gather at 3:00, but serve the meal at 6:00.
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: Venus193 on August 21, 2013, 05:08:37 AM
It sounds like the author has been to more than her share of bad potlucks if she feels the need to repeat herself.  I don't disagree with her ideas, only her attitude.

The latest comment regarding work potlucks where no contribution means no consumption is definitely spot on.  I know two people whose offices have that rule; neither of them attend these events.

Which is making me wonder whether I got invited to a friend's building's potluck because I make killer stuffed vine leaves....
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: baglady on August 21, 2013, 06:37:11 AM
What she's describing isn't a potluck as I know them. For one thing, I've never been to one that had "work shifts." You bring your dish, you put it where the hostess tells you to, and you eat! You can ask the hostess if she needs help, but if she says no, then go mingle. We do potlucks so nobody *has* to "work."

The potluck in the article sounds more like a club or organization's cookout where everyone has a job to do (e.g., grilling the meat, setting up, cleaning up) in addition to bringing a dish -- not a true potluck as I've experienced them.

And what's wrong with bringing chips and dips, or drinks, or plates and cups, instead of a "dish"? At our work potlucks, we have people sign up to bring those if they don't have time to make something. We've never been short of food because not everyone brought a "dish."

I love how the author got busted in the comments by someone who had been to the event that prompted the rant -- then she tried to say it really wasn't about *that* event. Except it was.
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: Hmmmmm on August 21, 2013, 06:42:40 AM
That wasn't a list of etiquette rules, it was a rant.

That was what I was thinking. That this was in response to a recent bad experience.

Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: Thipu1 on August 21, 2013, 08:25:43 AM
Is it just me or does a potluck for 200 people sound like an exercise in maddness?

The few potlucks I've been to have been about 25 people, tops.

Also, I don't see anything wrong with bringing a few good, rotisserie chickens to a potluck.  At one potluck I attended, someone brought a big platter of sushi and I know she didn't make that herself. 
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: Kiara on August 21, 2013, 08:37:04 AM
She lost me the second she said it didn't matter if you were a vegetarian...cook the meat if asked.

Um, no.
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: Venus193 on August 21, 2013, 08:57:36 AM
Is it just me or does a potluck for 200 people sound like an exercise in maddness?

The few potlucks I've been to have been about 25 people, tops.

Also, I don't see anything wrong with bringing a few good, rotisserie chickens to a potluck.  At one potluck I attended, someone brought a big platter of sushi and I know she didn't make that herself.

It is. 

My last company had a potluck Christmas; it was 30 people or so.
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: Sharnita on August 21, 2013, 09:02:52 AM
I've been to church potlucks for 200 (or more) people. As far as a vegetarian cooking meat, I'd say generally "no", although if they made the choice for health reasons then it shouldn't be a problem.
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: amylouky on August 21, 2013, 09:14:12 AM
She lost me the second she said it didn't matter if you were a vegetarian...cook the meat if asked.

Um, no.

Yeah, that one got me, too. I'm not a vegetarian but I wouldn't expect a vegetarian to grill the burgers at a potluck. Even if it isn't for ethical reasons, sometimes people can get sick from the smell of meat if they aren't used to eating it. I do think, however, that if a vegetarian were asked to grill the burgers, they should definitely offer to do something else rather than just say, "Sorry, can't.."
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: Goosey on August 21, 2013, 09:26:12 AM
Is it normal to expect the guests to cook the meat?
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: ladyknight1 on August 21, 2013, 09:29:01 AM
Yes, this sounds like something for a specific group. The largest pot luck I have attended was about 100 people, and other than making sure young children and their parents went first, before the ravenous pre-teens and teenagers, everything went smoothly. I think that if any cooking goes on during a potluck, it is in a slow cooker or warmer.

I think store bought items are okay, as long as the person does not always contribute one bag of chips and a container of dip, or two two-liter sodas (examples from work and a social club). It begins to feel like they are taking advantage for many, not my opinion, but one I have heard many times.

I find it in very poor taste to take more than one plate of food before everyone has gone through, we ended up having to approach a co-worker that wanted to make a plate for her spouse during the first pass (he doesn't work here) at every event. She is also one of the front of the line people every time.
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: snowdragon on August 21, 2013, 09:33:11 AM
I think first come first serve, and make sure you leave enough for everyone should be the rule. It seems wrong to say to singles and teens who come alone that "you are good enough to provide food, but not good enough to have an equal chance at being first - and there for the prime dishes, because you are alone." Is wrong and very rude.
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: ladyknight1 on August 21, 2013, 09:37:37 AM
Unfortunately in our case, if the teens go through first, there is not much left for anyone else. Since their families are contributing the dishes at these events, we let special guests go first (the families since they don't normally attend the club activities), and then all the teens.

The teens decided to do it that way, so the little ones can be out of the way and fewer chances of accidents. Also, the first few times, when the teens went through first, there were no proteins left, they had taken more than one portion.
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: DaisyG on August 21, 2013, 09:38:21 AM
There also may be a safety issue with a vegetarian cooking the meat as they may not know when it's done (which is a concern with things like chicken).

My church stopped having potlucks when we got to 300. Now the church pays a company to cater with salads and grilled burgers and sausages. I stopped attending these events after queuing for over an hour (to let children and elderly people through first) and then finding there was nothing I could eat (as a veggie myself) except plain rice. At which point I left and went to a nearby supermarket.
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: Sharnita on August 21, 2013, 09:44:32 AM
I am.not sure I agree that "condiments don't count". Somebody brings ketchup, mustard, relush, chopped onion, bbq sauce- I do think I am going to count that. I probably will count it if somebody brings all the paper plates, napkins, silverwear, cups too.
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: Winterlight on August 21, 2013, 09:54:22 AM
I grew up in a potluck kind of place- my shul always does them for big events.

1 & 2. Yes.
3. Usually the host supplies them, but I don't think they can't count.
4 & 5. Yes, you should help, but making the vegetarian cook burgers is ridiculous.
6. Somebody's got to be first in line. And usually people didn't start lining up till the food was out.
7-10. Yes. But lose the snippy attitude, author.

11-14. Yes
15. Depends on the potluck. Some we did dishes there, some we didn't. I guess the rule is to know which kind it is.
16. Isn't there usually some kind of sign-up?
17-20. Yes.
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: Bexx27 on August 21, 2013, 10:02:54 AM
As baglady said, this sounds like an event put on by an organization rather than a regular friends/family potluck gathering. My DD's annual school picnic used to work this way. The school supplies the meat, each family brings a side dish or dessert, and one adult from each family signs up for a shift either cooking meat or helping with setup/cleanup. It is certainly annoying when people don't do their part. One year DH was stuck at the grill for 3 shifts instead of 1 because the 2 other parents didn't bother to cover their shifts. For the past 2 years the school has gotten pre-cooked chicken platters instead of asking parents to grill the meat.

I agree that everyone needs to bring something to a potluck, but I can never relate to complaints about not having enough food. I've never been to a potluck that didn't have a ton of leftovers. I actually think it's fine for some people to bring things like condiments and plates as long as there's some basic coordination and you don't end up with 50 bottles of ketchup and no hot dogs. I attended a potluck earlier this summer where no one had brought paper plates and the host was scrambling to find and wash dishes. It also depends on the invitation; if you're specifically told to bring a dish, then bring a dish.

Most of her points make sense, but I strongly disagree that vegetarians should have to cook meat.
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: pierrotlunaire0 on August 21, 2013, 10:36:09 AM
There also may be a safety issue with a vegetarian cooking the meat as they may not know when it's done (which is a concern with things like chicken).


That was my thought as well.  Also, a meat dish (Swedish meatballs, for example) which requires mixing meat and non-meat ingredients may be difficult for the vegetarian.  You can't taste to make sure the seasoning is correct.
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: NyaChan on August 21, 2013, 10:42:07 AM
If there weren't so many references to beer in that list, I'd post this at our masjid's community center.  We get people who come, eat, socialize, and then leave without lifting a finger to help the old faithfuls with the setting up or cleaning up.  My mom got fed up with it at our last Eid and went to each group saying "Please clean up your plates from the table - here is a trash bag."
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: Thipu1 on August 21, 2013, 10:47:41 AM
Regardless of the group, regardless of the event,  it seems to be a law of nature that 10 percent of the members will wind up doing 90 percent of the work. 
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: heartmug on August 21, 2013, 11:26:21 AM
I am.not sure I agree that "condiments don't count". Somebody brings ketchup, mustard, relush, chopped onion, bbq sauce- I do think I am going to count that. I probably will count it if somebody brings all the paper plates, napkins, silverwear, cups too.

POD.  Now if someone just shows up with a bottle of ketchup, um No.  But I have provided the ketchup, mustard, mayo, bbq sauce, lettuce, tomatoes, onions, and pickles for a potluck whose main dish was hamburgers.

Also, I agree about bring more than enough for your family size.  At our dd's school events about 5 years ago they had to start announcing "if you have 4 kids bring more than the person with 1 kid" or something to that effect at the dessert potluck on the last day of school.  I thought that was common sense.
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: Joeschmo on August 21, 2013, 12:01:50 PM
My comment didn't save earlier.

But I'd make an addition. If you know you're not well, stay home. I was at a potluck where one of the guests ended up having hepatitis. All the guests had to get hep shots the next day. That rule should be common sense, but it apparently isn't.


Not a fun memory of the otherwise fun event.

Chronic illness is isolating enough.  To my knowledge unless you're parties include handling each others feces for type A or coming into contact with each others blood or engaging in unprotected sex for type B or C you are highly unlikely to spread hepatitis.  If I am wrong please let me know where to find the info you did because I couldn't find any indicating spread through casual contact. 
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: jaxsue on August 21, 2013, 12:06:01 PM
I grew up in Baptist churches in the midwest. Since dancing, drinking, and smoking weren't allowed, we went all out for potluck dinners!  :) Aside from the jello-with-mayo dishes (who thought that up, I want to know), they were awesome.

Then I found out that not every potluck is done that well. I remember the small church I attended in Florida, where magically, a certain family would triple in size every time there was a potluck dinner. And they didn't bring anything!

A potluck (or DOG - dinner on the ground, in the south), done well, is a wonderful thing.
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: jaxsue on August 21, 2013, 12:06:24 PM
She lost me the second she said it didn't matter if you were a vegetarian...cook the meat if asked.

Um, no.

I'd never ask a vegetarian to cook meat.
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: jaxsue on August 21, 2013, 12:07:16 PM
Is it just me or does a potluck for 200 people sound like an exercise in maddness?

The few potlucks I've been to have been about 25 people, tops.

Also, I don't see anything wrong with bringing a few good, rotisserie chickens to a potluck.  At one potluck I attended, someone brought a big platter of sushi and I know she didn't make that herself.

I used to attend a Pres church with almost 1,000 members. They tried to do potlucks. It just didn't work. Too many people, not enough food, too much chaos.
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: jaxsue on August 21, 2013, 12:07:57 PM
Is it normal to expect the guests to cook the meat?

I've never been to a potluck that required cooking meat. Everyone brought their food already prepared.
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: jaxsue on August 21, 2013, 12:10:53 PM
I think first come first serve, and make sure you leave enough for everyone should be the rule. It seems wrong to say to singles and teens who come alone that "you are good enough to provide food, but not good enough to have an equal chance at being first - and there for the prime dishes, because you are alone." Is wrong and very rude.

My dad was a minister and made the rules for our church's potluck dinners. First, the elderly went through, then people with very young children. Then, families (and single people were a family). Teens were with their family or a friend's family, generally. If they weren't, they just went through with the family group. The chances of a 15-yr-old bringing a dish were nil, if memory serves me.

It worked well.
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: jaxsue on August 21, 2013, 12:11:44 PM
Regardless of the group, regardless of the event,  it seems to be a law of nature that 10 percent of the members will wind up doing 90 percent of the work.

Sadly, true.
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: darkprincess on August 21, 2013, 12:24:47 PM
My comment didn't save earlier.

But I'd make an addition. If you know you're not well, stay home. I was at a potluck where one of the guests ended up having hepatitis. All the guests had to get hep shots the next day. That rule should be common sense, but it apparently isn't.


Not a fun memory of the otherwise fun event.

Chronic illness is isolating enough.  To my knowledge unless you're parties include handling each others feces for type A or coming into contact with each others blood or engaging in unprotected sex for type B or C you are highly unlikely to spread hepatitis.  If I am wrong please let me know where to find the info you did because I couldn't find any indicating spread through casual contact.

Unfortunately some types of Hepatitis is spread in potlucks because someone doesn't wash their hand after using the restroom. If the first person in line at a potluck makes dish A (without properly washing their hands) everyone who eats dish A will be exposed. Then the person (without properly washing their hands) might touch each serving utensal, which is then touched by everyone else in line, and they are all now exposed. http://hepatitis.about.com/od/hepatitisa/a/HAVspread.htm
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: Joeschmo on August 21, 2013, 12:40:03 PM
My comment didn't save earlier.

But I'd make an addition. If you know you're not well, stay home. I was at a potluck where one of the guests ended up having hepatitis. All the guests had to get hep shots the next day. That rule should be common sense, but it apparently isn't.


Not a fun memory of the otherwise fun event.

Chronic illness is isolating enough.  To my knowledge unless you're parties include handling each others feces for type A or coming into contact with each others blood or engaging in unprotected sex for type B or C you are highly unlikely to spread hepatitis.  If I am wrong please let me know where to find the info you did because I couldn't find any indicating spread through casual contact.

Unfortunately some types of Hepatitis is spread in potlucks because someone doesn't wash their hand after using the restroom. If the first person in line at a potluck makes dish A (without properly washing their hands) everyone who eats dish A will be exposed. Then the person (without properly washing their hands) might touch each serving utensal, which is then touched by everyone else in line, and they are all now exposed. http://hepatitis.about.com/od/hepatitisa/a/HAVspread.htm

I was aware of the hand washing issue which still isn't reason to stay home as long as you follow basic hygiene.  Thank you for mentioning this though because I think my post was oversimplified.  I was offended because I've lived with a family member with Hep C and worked in home with a client with Hep B and the stigma of having hepatitis was bad enough without being told they need to stay at home.
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: Minmom3 on August 21, 2013, 12:41:36 PM
I think the larger the head count, the more sternly structured a pot luck needs to be.  When we had our annual 4-H potluck, our 'dime-a-dip', what you brought was dictated by your place in the alphabet.  What that section of the alphabet brought rotated over the years, so nobody was stuck bringing the same kind of thing year after year.  So, A-F brought a main course to feed X number of people, plus serving utensils.  G-N brought a side, hot or cold or baked, plus serving utensils.  O-whatever brought deserts, plus utensils to serve AND any necessary chilling needs and if it had to be served in a bowl, you had to bring X number of bowls too.  A smaller designated group would bring drinks, and the club supplied the plates, eating utensils (if you didn't choose to bring stainless from home), and cups for drinks.  Nobody HAD to cook, a store bought or restaurant bought item was fine, as long as it fit your category.  It being 4-H, it was expected and demanded that everybody help set up and clean up, and people/families who ducked out of this were spoken to later on.  I've been to very few work potlucks, but that's where I've seen the worst cheaters show up and pig out, and where the food categories are way off balance.
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: snowdragon on August 21, 2013, 12:45:26 PM
I think first come first serve, and make sure you leave enough for everyone should be the rule. It seems wrong to say to singles and teens who come alone that "you are good enough to provide food, but not good enough to have an equal chance at being first - and there for the prime dishes, because you are alone." Is wrong and very rude.

 

My dad was a minister and made the rules for our church's potluck dinners. First, the elderly went through, then people with very young children. Then, families (and single people were a family). Teens were with their family or a friend's family, generally. If they weren't, they just went through with the family group. The chances of a 15-yr-old bringing a dish were nil, if memory serves me.

It worked well.

As a Single I would have resigned from your church then and there.  And I would not be shy about answering why or taking my dish home with me ( since I don't use disposables, I would not leave a good ceramic dish behind )  Expecting one group to always have the leavings of others, is rude.
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: KenveeB on August 21, 2013, 12:47:42 PM
I think first come first serve, and make sure you leave enough for everyone should be the rule. It seems wrong to say to singles and teens who come alone that "you are good enough to provide food, but not good enough to have an equal chance at being first - and there for the prime dishes, because you are alone." Is wrong and very rude.

 

My dad was a minister and made the rules for our church's potluck dinners. First, the elderly went through, then people with very young children. Then, families (and single people were a family). Teens were with their family or a friend's family, generally. If they weren't, they just went through with the family group. The chances of a 15-yr-old bringing a dish were nil, if memory serves me.

It worked well.

As a Single I would have resigned from your church then and there.  And I would not be shy about answering why or taking my dish home with me ( since I don't use disposables, I would not leave a good ceramic dish behind )  Expecting one group to always have the leavings of others, is rude.

That was my first thought as well. That doesn't sound very welcoming!
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: DottyG on August 21, 2013, 01:03:41 PM
Joeschmoe, I didn't want to get the thread derailed on medical stuff, but I did send a PM that explains things a bit more.
 
My post earlier was just a personal example of something that happened that illustrated a point I was trying to make.  But I wasn't saying that chronically ill people need to be sequestered.  You are correct in your reply.
 
 
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: lowspark on August 21, 2013, 01:07:02 PM
I didn't get this article at all. None of what she describes sounds like any pot luck I've ever been to and I've been to (and hosted) tons.

A pot luck is normally a reasonably manageable number of people/families (200? No way!) who bring prepared dishes to share. Everyone plops their dish on the table with a minimum (if any) amount of prep on the scene and within 15 minutes of meeting time, we start eating.

Cooking meat? Asking vegetarians to grill burgers? Volunteer shifts?
Never heard of any of that.

The biggest pot lucks I've been to were when my kids were cub scouts. End of year Pack pool party involved about 30-35 families IIRC. And yeah, people would bring fried chicken from the Popeye's down the street from the pool. And storebought cookies. And much more elaborate stuff too. But no one seemed to mind. There was tons of food and nobody went hungry. And no one cooked, grilled or volunteered to work. We all just pitched in. That's what a pot luck really is.
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: cass2591 on August 21, 2013, 01:16:02 PM
And so rests the hepatitis PSA.
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: Visiting Crazy Town on August 21, 2013, 01:33:33 PM
I think first come first serve, and make sure you leave enough for everyone should be the rule. It seems wrong to say to singles and teens who come alone that "you are good enough to provide food, but not good enough to have an equal chance at being first - and there for the prime dishes, because you are alone." Is wrong and very rude.

 

My dad was a minister and made the rules for our church's potluck dinners. First, the elderly went through, then people with very young children. Then, families (and single people were a family). Teens were with their family or a friend's family, generally. If they weren't, they just went through with the family group. The chances of a 15-yr-old bringing a dish were nil, if memory serves me.

It worked well.

As a Single I would have resigned from your church then and there.  And I would not be shy about answering why or taking my dish home with me ( since I don't use disposables, I would not leave a good ceramic dish behind )  Expecting one group to always have the leavings of others, is rude.

That was my first thought as well. That doesn't sound very welcoming!
I'm a single person and I don;t understand what  the problem with the order is , the elderly and  small children are the ones that  most often need help, so  it would make sense to me to allow them to go through the line first =so that  if they  need assistance someone would be able to help them before they  get their own food and begans eating.
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: snowdragon on August 21, 2013, 01:38:30 PM
I think first come first serve, and make sure you leave enough for everyone should be the rule. It seems wrong to say to singles and teens who come alone that "you are good enough to provide food, but not good enough to have an equal chance at being first - and there for the prime dishes, because you are alone." Is wrong and very rude.

 

My dad was a minister and made the rules for our church's potluck dinners. First, the elderly went through, then people with very young children. Then, families (and single people were a family). Teens were with their family or a friend's family, generally. If they weren't, they just went through with the family group. The chances of a 15-yr-old bringing a dish were nil, if memory serves me.

It worked well.

As a Single I would have resigned from your church then and there.  And I would not be shy about answering why or taking my dish home with me ( since I don't use disposables, I would not leave a good ceramic dish behind )  Expecting one group to always have the leavings of others, is rude.

That was my first thought as well. That doesn't sound very welcoming!
I'm a single person and I don;t understand what  the problem with the order is , the elderly and  small children are the ones that  most often need help, so  it would make sense to me to allow them to go through the line first =so that  if they  need assistance someone would be able to help them before they  get their own food and begans eating.


  It's the you're good enough to bring stuff, but not good enough to have an equal chance at anything good..people who need assistance can go through the line with their assistants in the order they reach the line, not "these get the first and best of everything and you can wait because you are less worthy." If I am not good enough have a fair place in line the Church does not want ME they want whatever I bring for the more worthy to eat.  I can do with out it. I'd rather never go to Church again rather than go to Church in that environment.

Or any other group any one can name.
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: cass2591 on August 21, 2013, 01:49:37 PM
Snowdragon, I'm assuming you have a better solution that would satisfy everybody.
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: snowdragon on August 21, 2013, 01:54:44 PM
Snowdragon, I'm assuming you have a better solution that would satisfy everybody.

I assume you are asking for one...mine is first come first served. Everyone gets a fair chance to be first last, middle or what not; not one group always is forced to eating the leavings of the others. OH, I am sure that the parents and elderly will object,,,but then they will see the view from the side of those who have been forced to the rear in the other arrangement.  Fair play says everyone has equal chance.
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: NyaChan on August 21, 2013, 01:55:10 PM
I didn't get this article at all. None of what she describes sounds like any pot luck I've ever been to and I've been to (and hosted) tons.

A pot luck is normally a reasonably manageable number of people/families (200? No way!) who bring prepared dishes to share. Everyone plops their dish on the table with a minimum (if any) amount of prep on the scene and within 15 minutes of meeting time, we start eating.

Cooking meat? Asking vegetarians to grill burgers? Volunteer shifts?
Never heard of any of that.

The biggest pot lucks I've been to were when my kids were cub scouts. End of year Pack pool party involved about 30-35 families IIRC. And yeah, people would bring fried chicken from the Popeye's down the street from the pool. And storebought cookies. And much more elaborate stuff too. But no one seemed to mind. There was tons of food and nobody went hungry. And no one cooked, grilled or volunteered to work. We all just pitched in. That's what a pot luck really is.

Well I think it is more of an article about potlucks for an organization, for example a religious group or some sort of club.  We do these on a monthly basis for our masjid.  We'll get hundreds of attendees and while the masjid provides the supplies, they depend on the people coming to bring a dish with them and there is still the setting up and cleaning to figure out.  Over time, we hired a cleaning service to deal with the aftermath, but during the event, people can be really lazy and inconsiderate about basic things like putting their plate in the trash or pulling out another bag rather than adding yet another layer to the stack of trash that people have put accidentally on purpose in the recycle bin  ::)  I witnessed an old faithful call someone out on it once and the woman actually responded "Oh I guess you caught me huh?" and tried to pawn the plate off on her rather than just grab another bag and throw it away herself.   
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: SlitherHiss on August 21, 2013, 01:57:53 PM
I think first come first serve, and make sure you leave enough for everyone should be the rule. It seems wrong to say to singles and teens who come alone that "you are good enough to provide food, but not good enough to have an equal chance at being first - and there for the prime dishes, because you are alone." Is wrong and very rude.

 

My dad was a minister and made the rules for our church's potluck dinners. First, the elderly went through, then people with very young children. Then, families (and single people were a family). Teens were with their family or a friend's family, generally. If they weren't, they just went through with the family group. The chances of a 15-yr-old bringing a dish were nil, if memory serves me.

It worked well.

As a Single I would have resigned from your church then and there.  And I would not be shy about answering why or taking my dish home with me ( since I don't use disposables, I would not leave a good ceramic dish behind )  Expecting one group to always have the leavings of others, is rude.

That was my first thought as well. That doesn't sound very welcoming!
I'm a single person and I don;t understand what  the problem with the order is , the elderly and  small children are the ones that  most often need help, so  it would make sense to me to allow them to go through the line first =so that  if they  need assistance someone would be able to help them before they  get their own food and begans eating.


  It's the you're good enough to bring stuff, but not good enough to have an equal chance at anything good..people who need assistance can go through the line with their assistants in the order they reach the line, not "these get the first and best of everything and you can wait because you are less worthy." If I am not good enough have a fair place in line the Church does not want ME they want whatever I bring for the more worthy to eat.  I can do with out it. I'd rather never go to Church again rather than go to Church in that environment.

Or any other group any one can name.

Snowdragon, I'm assuming you have a better solution that would satisfy everybody.

I assume you are asking for one...mine is first come first served. Everyone gets a fair chance to be first last, middle or what not; not one group always is forced to eating the leavings of the others. OH, I am sure that the parents and elderly will object,,,but then they will see the view from the side of those who have been forced to the rear in the other arrangement.  Fair play says everyone has equal chance.

The policy jaxsue's dad put in place really seems to be the nicest way to go about it. It's not picking on families or single people because they're "less worthy", and it's an awfully big stretch to see it that way.

If you're suggesting that everyone should just go in the order they get to the table, a large potluck could end up with a stampede! And really, wouldn't a rush to get to the tables only put the less able-bodied among us at a disadvantage? Ought someone with a leg cast or in a wheelchair to be forced to have the last pick? Are the people who sat further away from the food area somehow less worthy? I'm only being slightly facetious here, but I really find the reasoning behind your proposed solution very mean-spirited.
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: ladyknight1 on August 21, 2013, 01:58:24 PM
We always ask for people to either come 15 minutes early to set up or stay late 15 minutes to clean up. We usually end up doing both.
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: jaxsue on August 21, 2013, 02:01:04 PM
I think first come first serve, and make sure you leave enough for everyone should be the rule. It seems wrong to say to singles and teens who come alone that "you are good enough to provide food, but not good enough to have an equal chance at being first - and there for the prime dishes, because you are alone." Is wrong and very rude.

 

My dad was a minister and made the rules for our church's potluck dinners. First, the elderly went through, then people with very young children. Then, families (and single people were a family). Teens were with their family or a friend's family, generally. If they weren't, they just went through with the family group. The chances of a 15-yr-old bringing a dish were nil, if memory serves me.

It worked well.

As a Single I would have resigned from your church then and there.  And I would not be shy about answering why or taking my dish home with me ( since I don't use disposables, I would not leave a good ceramic dish behind )  Expecting one group to always have the leavings of others, is rude.

I don't get the problem. Before the "rules," kids would run to the front of the line, and take mounds of food (much of it wasted). This way parents could control what the kids took. The people who need assistance went first. I don't see the problem. The singles are a family, and go with other families. And some singles were elderly, or single parents with little kids, and went with the first groups. So they are not being overlooked.

I later attended a church where it was first come, first served. I wasn't even through the line once before kids were allowed to jump in and take 2nds-3rds. By the time I got to the table there was hardly any food left. I stopped going to those potlucks.
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: jaxsue on August 21, 2013, 02:02:41 PM
I think first come first serve, and make sure you leave enough for everyone should be the rule. It seems wrong to say to singles and teens who come alone that "you are good enough to provide food, but not good enough to have an equal chance at being first - and there for the prime dishes, because you are alone." Is wrong and very rude.

 

My dad was a minister and made the rules for our church's potluck dinners. First, the elderly went through, then people with very young children. Then, families (and single people were a family). Teens were with their family or a friend's family, generally. If they weren't, they just went through with the family group. The chances of a 15-yr-old bringing a dish were nil, if memory serves me.

It worked well.

As a Single I would have resigned from your church then and there.  And I would not be shy about answering why or taking my dish home with me ( since I don't use disposables, I would not leave a good ceramic dish behind )  Expecting one group to always have the leavings of others, is rude.

That was my first thought as well. That doesn't sound very welcoming!

Please read my response to Snowdragon; the singles don't go last. The system simply allowed people with mobility issues and families with very young children to go first. It worked well.
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: snowdragon on August 21, 2013, 02:03:30 PM
I think first come first serve, and make sure you leave enough for everyone should be the rule. It seems wrong to say to singles and teens who come alone that "you are good enough to provide food, but not good enough to have an equal chance at being first - and there for the prime dishes, because you are alone." Is wrong and very rude.

 

My dad was a minister and made the rules for our church's potluck dinners. First, the elderly went through, then people with very young children. Then, families (and single people were a family). Teens were with their family or a friend's family, generally. If they weren't, they just went through with the family group. The chances of a 15-yr-old bringing a dish were nil, if memory serves me.

It worked well.

As a Single I would have resigned from your church then and there.  And I would not be shy about answering why or taking my dish home with me ( since I don't use disposables, I would not leave a good ceramic dish behind )  Expecting one group to always have the leavings of others, is rude.

That was my first thought as well. That doesn't sound very welcoming!
I'm a single person and I don;t understand what  the problem with the order is , the elderly and  small children are the ones that  most often need help, so  it would make sense to me to allow them to go through the line first =so that  if they  need assistance someone would be able to help them before they  get their own food and begans eating.


  It's the you're good enough to bring stuff, but not good enough to have an equal chance at anything good..people who need assistance can go through the line with their assistants in the order they reach the line, not "these get the first and best of everything and you can wait because you are less worthy." If I am not good enough have a fair place in line the Church does not want ME they want whatever I bring for the more worthy to eat.  I can do with out it. I'd rather never go to Church again rather than go to Church in that environment.

Or any other group any one can name.

Snowdragon, I'm assuming you have a better solution that would satisfy everybody.

I assume you are asking for one...mine is first come first served. Everyone gets a fair chance to be first last, middle or what not; not one group always is forced to eating the leavings of the others. OH, I am sure that the parents and elderly will object,,,but then they will see the view from the side of those who have been forced to the rear in the other arrangement.  Fair play says everyone has equal chance.

The policy jaxsue's dad put in place really seems to be the nicest way to go about it. It's not picking on families or single people because they're "less worthy", and it's an awfully big stretch to see it that way.

If you're suggesting that everyone should just go in the order they get to the table, a large potluck could end up with a stampede! And really, wouldn't a rush to get to the tables only put the less able-bodied among us at a disadvantage? Are the people who sat further away from the food area somehow less worthy? I'm only being slightly facetious here, but I really find the reasoning behind your proposed solution very mean-spirited.

It's only nice if you are in one of the privileged to go first group I find it mean spirited to say to one group that you can bring, but not get a fair shot at the table and really it smacks of privilege for certain groups. And yes, people should go in the order they get to the table.
 
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: Goosey on August 21, 2013, 02:05:37 PM
It's complete chaos to have everyone going at once. Then the disabled and people in the back are the ones picking at the leftovers all the time.

I think the only REALLY equal way to do this is have numbered tables of equal number. Put the numbers in a hat, draw one randomly and call that table of people forward. That's the only real way people have an equal chance of getting the good stuff :)

Snowdragon, I think you're taking this much too personally. No one wants to slight you, they just want to make sure that those who would have a much harder time getting to the table and serving themselves than you get the opportunity to do so.
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: snowdragon on August 21, 2013, 02:06:45 PM
I think first come first serve, and make sure you leave enough for everyone should be the rule. It seems wrong to say to singles and teens who come alone that "you are good enough to provide food, but not good enough to have an equal chance at being first - and there for the prime dishes, because you are alone." Is wrong and very rude.

 

My dad was a minister and made the rules for our church's potluck dinners. First, the elderly went through, then people with very young children. Then, families (and single people were a family). Teens were with their family or a friend's family, generally. If they weren't, they just went through with the family group. The chances of a 15-yr-old bringing a dish were nil, if memory serves me.

It worked well.

As a Single I would have resigned from your church then and there.  And I would not be shy about answering why or taking my dish home with me ( since I don't use disposables, I would not leave a good ceramic dish behind )  Expecting one group to always have the leavings of others, is rude.

That was my first thought as well. That doesn't sound very welcoming!

Please read my response to Snowdragon; the singles don't go last. The system simply allowed people with mobility issues and families with very young children to go first. It worked well.

 You had three groups - One ALWAYS went first one ALWAYS went last.  Those going last ALWAYS had to eat what the other groups saw fit to leave them. They NEVER had the chance to get the prime dishes with limited amounts because someone decided they were not worth having even a chance at these dishes and should be satisfied with whatever everyone else didn't want - Not welcoming, in fact it's hurtful.
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: Visiting Crazy Town on August 21, 2013, 02:07:33 PM
Snowdragon, I'm assuming you have a better solution that would satisfy everybody.

I assume you are asking for one...mine is first come first served. Everyone gets a fair chance to be first last, middle or what not; not one group always is forced to eating the leavings of the others. OH, I am sure that the parents and elderly will object,,,but then they will see the view from the side of those who have been forced to the rear in the other arrangement.  Fair play says everyone has equal chance.

 You do seem to have a quite mean spirited attitude about this, You  also seem to take it a a personal slight  which sounds really uncharitable to me.  First some first serve does not always work in this situation and having it planned out can be a good thing,  I also don;t think that you  would like to have a bunch of people hovering around the table waiting for the food to come so that  they  can be first in line. The only other successful thing I saw that  worked was for people to be called up my table.
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: jaxsue on August 21, 2013, 02:09:11 PM
It's complete chaos to have everyone going at once. Then the disabled and people in the back are the ones picking at the leftovers all the time.

I think the only REALLY equal way to do this is have numbered tables of equal number. Put the numbers in a hat, draw one randomly and call that table of people forward. That's the only real way people have an equal chance of getting the good stuff :)

Snowdragon, I think you're taking this much too personally. No one wants to slight you, they just want to make sure that those who would have a much harder time getting to the table and serving themselves than you get the opportunity to do so.

I like this!

Edited to add: we had tons of food at these dinners. I don't think we ever ran out. People were very generous with what they brought. And now I'm hungry!
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: Firecat on August 21, 2013, 02:12:09 PM
It's complete chaos to have everyone going at once. Then the disabled and people in the back are the ones picking at the leftovers all the time.

I think the only REALLY equal way to do this is have numbered tables of equal number. Put the numbers in a hat, draw one randomly and call that table of people forward. That's the only real way people have an equal chance of getting the good stuff :)

Snowdragon, I think you're taking this much too personally. No one wants to slight you, they just want to make sure that those who would have a much harder time getting to the table and serving themselves than you get the opportunity to do so.

I think another option would be by alternating last name groups. So at one potluck, those with last names beginning with, say, P-Z go first, and the next, those with K-O, or whatever division works. If someone needs help, then one helper would be allowed to accompany that person through the line, regardless of the helper's last name. But that way, everyone gets a chance to be in the first group at least 1/3 or 1/4 of the time.
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: snowdragon on August 21, 2013, 02:13:04 PM
It's complete chaos to have everyone going at once. Then the disabled and people in the back are the ones picking at the leftovers all the time.

I think the only REALLY equal way to do this is have numbered tables of equal number. Put the numbers in a hat, draw one randomly and call that table of people forward. That's the only real way people have an equal chance of getting the good stuff :)



This would be much more fair than having certain groups be always the ones "in the back are the ones picking at the leftovers all the time" ( I like that wording).


Quote
Snowdragon, I think you're taking this much too personally. No one wants to slight you, they just want to make sure that those who would have a much harder time getting to the table and serving themselves than you get the opportunity to do so.

It's never a slight , until it is. And it is when it's a constant, "you get to go last always because I say these are more worthy than you" it's a slight.
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: snowdragon on August 21, 2013, 02:14:16 PM
It's complete chaos to have everyone going at once. Then the disabled and people in the back are the ones picking at the leftovers all the time.

I think the only REALLY equal way to do this is have numbered tables of equal number. Put the numbers in a hat, draw one randomly and call that table of people forward. That's the only real way people have an equal chance of getting the good stuff :)

Snowdragon, I think you're taking this much too personally. No one wants to slight you, they just want to make sure that those who would have a much harder time getting to the table and serving themselves than you get the opportunity to do so.

I think another option would be by alternating last name groups. So at one potluck, those with last names beginning with, say, P-Z go first, and the next, those with K-O, or whatever division works. If someone needs help, then one helper would be allowed to accompany that person through the line, regardless of the helper's last name. But that way, everyone gets a chance to be in the first group at least 1/3 or 1/4 of the time.

  Or you could have designated helpers who ate first, like kids needing their community service hours for school or something.
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: Sharnita on August 21, 2013, 02:15:14 PM
It seems that if people needed help.and couldn't go through with everyone else, it would be.as easy for them to go through after as before.
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: DottyG on August 21, 2013, 02:15:32 PM
I've been trying to think of how my church does it, because it works out perfectly.  I don't know that there really are any rules to it; it just happens.

We have a potluck every month there, so it's a pretty large group.  The city is already kinda divided into sections, so each section has a role - the north area will be providing the main course, for instance, while the south area will be providing the desserts.  That type of thing.  So everything is covered with the meal.  The duties of setting up and taking down rotate as well - I think the south part did it last month.  So that's divided up fairly.

It's right after the later service, so people are kinda milling around getting their contributions on the tables and getting things ready.  People with mobility issues or elderly people are where they can get to the tables easily anyway.

There are 2 tables set up, and people go on both sides of the tables.  So the line moves incredibly fast.  Now, that means that you might not be in the line where you get Martha's meatloaf on the other table.  But you are getting Sue's homemade soup.  And, if you want some of the meatloaf, you can either slip in and get some (people don't mind a quick "hey, could I grab a quick bit of this?" type of thing) or go back and get some when you get seconds.

I have never seen the food all disappear at those things.  And no one is leaving the slightest bit hungry - I have left there stuffed to the gills! :D  These people make enough food to donate - which is exactly what's done with the leftovers.

I think there was one time where they did kinda have people seated at tables (if I remember correctly, there was an announcement or something that took place before it, so people were already sitting) and then they did a kind of start at this table and work around the room to get in line.  But, even then, it wasn't a strict thing.

The thing I've noticed about how it works is that there isn't a problem, like Snowdragon mentioned, of Singles being left out.  They're in the line just like everyone else.  It's a bit of "first come, first served," but it doesn't make the ones who may need a little extra time be in the very back or be at a disadvantage  (as Slitherhiss mentioned).

Somehow, it all works!  This church has found the magic touch that makes it go really smoothly.  Part of that might be the fact that it is a monthly thing.  There's been enough practice now that they've worked out the kinks, and people know what to do.

 
ETA a missing "doesn't" that was needed
 
 
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: Goosey on August 21, 2013, 02:20:36 PM
Quote
Snowdragon, I think you're taking this much too personally. No one wants to slight you, they just want to make sure that those who would have a much harder time getting to the table and serving themselves than you get the opportunity to do so.

It's never a slight , until it is. And it is when it's a constant, "you get to go last always because I say these are more worthy than you" it's a slight.

They're not more worthy than you. You are more able-bodied than them.

You seem to be doing a mental leap and zig-zag to make this about your worth as a human being rather than your ability to easily serve yourself without assistance.

Don't worry, in my experience, the elderly and small children don't eat much.
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: snowdragon on August 21, 2013, 02:25:42 PM
Quote
Snowdragon, I think you're taking this much too personally. No one wants to slight you, they just want to make sure that those who would have a much harder time getting to the table and serving themselves than you get the opportunity to do so.

It's never a slight , until it is. And it is when it's a constant, "you get to go last always because I say these are more worthy than you" it's a slight.

They're not more worthy than you. You are more able-bodied than them.

You seem to be doing a mental leap and zig-zag to make this about your worth as a human being rather than your ability to easily serve yourself without assistance.

Don't worry, in my experience, the elderly and small children don't eat much.

How incredibly condescending.  In other words "It's ok for you to be discriminated against...but don't worry there will be enough of the stuff others don't want for you to eat." 
  If organizations expect people to bring more than their share ( and singles usually end up doing this at pot lucks ) then they need to treat us fairly - and not relegate us to the leftovers that others did not want.
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: cass2591 on August 21, 2013, 02:27:46 PM

It's only nice if you are in one of the privileged to go first group I find it mean spirited to say to one group that you can bring, but not get a fair shot at the table and really it smacks of privilege for certain groups. And yes, people should go in the order they get to the table.
 

I have to say that's the first time I've ever seen anyone group the elderly or the disabled in with the privileged.

I'm assuming, of course, that when you were in your full leg cast that caused issues for you, that if such a "privilege" were extended to you, you would have declined on the basis of fairness.
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: DottyG on August 21, 2013, 02:29:24 PM
Snowdragon, would something like this work?  "Bring enough for what you would eat plus enough for X other people" (with X being a reasonable number)?

So a Single might bring enough to feed, say, 5 people (themselves plus 4) and a family of four would bring enough to feed 8 people (their family plus 4).  That way, the Singles aren't penalized for being a smaller family unit.
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: turnip on August 21, 2013, 02:29:49 PM
Quote
Snowdragon, I think you're taking this much too personally. No one wants to slight you, they just want to make sure that those who would have a much harder time getting to the table and serving themselves than you get the opportunity to do so.

It's never a slight , until it is. And it is when it's a constant, "you get to go last always because I say these are more worthy than you" it's a slight.

They're not more worthy than you. You are more able-bodied than them.

You seem to be doing a mental leap and zig-zag to make this about your worth as a human being rather than your ability to easily serve yourself without assistance.

Don't worry, in my experience, the elderly and small children don't eat much.

I keep wondering if snowdragon is reading this wrong.  Letting the elderly and families with small children go first seems like a lovely, charitable gesture - much like letting them have a seat on the bus or the train.  I can't see how there's any 'worthiness' judgments there. 

If you really don't want to make a gracious gesture to people who need extra assistance - well, then I'm thinking attending church functions aren't big on you todo list anyway.
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: SlitherHiss on August 21, 2013, 02:29:59 PM
Quote
Snowdragon, I think you're taking this much too personally. No one wants to slight you, they just want to make sure that those who would have a much harder time getting to the table and serving themselves than you get the opportunity to do so.

It's never a slight , until it is. And it is when it's a constant, "you get to go last always because I say these are more worthy than you" it's a slight.

They're not more worthy than you. You are more able-bodied than them.

You seem to be doing a mental leap and zig-zag to make this about your worth as a human being rather than your ability to easily serve yourself without assistance.

Don't worry, in my experience, the elderly and small children don't eat much.

How incredibly condescending.  In other words "It's ok for you to be discriminated against...but don't worry there will be enough of the stuff others don't want for you to eat." 
  If organizations expect people to bring more than their share ( and singles usually end up doing this at pot lucks ) then they need to treat us fairly - and not relegate us to the leftovers that others did not want.

Goodness! People who need assistance going first (regardless of age) along with their helpers isn't discrimination. It's the furthest thing from it. It's helping your fellow man.

This "Us vs. Them" thing you're railing against is a fabrication of your own making.
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: blahblahblah on August 21, 2013, 02:30:29 PM
Quote
It's never a slight , until it is. And it is when it's a constant, "you get to go last always because I say these are more worthy than you" it's a slight.
Do you also think that airline preboarding procedures are a slight since they allow those with very young children or people needing extra assistance to board first?

I know it's not exactly the same thing - unless you're flying Southwest, seats are pre-assigned so it's not like you're gonna get stuck with the cruddy middle seats - but honestly, I think you're assigning uncharitable motivations when there aren't any. I agree with the pps saying that it's simply more efficient to have those needing extra assistance go through first, just like it's more efficient to have those needing extra assistance board planes first. I'd rather just sit and wait then go for the plane/potluck at the same time and get stuck waiting behind someone who needs forever and a day to sit down/get food.
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: Goosey on August 21, 2013, 02:30:36 PM
It's not about discrimination, even though you are trying your best to make it out to be.

You're able bodied. You're an adult. You're able to serve yourself and move on without assistance. This system is to make sure that those needing and providing the assistance can do so without being trampled or having to wait in line for a long time (in cases where they can't stand for long or carry young children long).

It's not about you being single and it's ridiculous to make it about that. You're able to walk up to the table and serve yourself without help. If you want a particular dish, it's best you make it for yourself. It's a potluck, not a buffet. There's never going to be enough for everyone and if you're holding out for the "best" you're going to be disappointed every time. 
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: snowdragon on August 21, 2013, 02:35:11 PM

It's only nice if you are in one of the privileged to go first group I find it mean spirited to say to one group that you can bring, but not get a fair shot at the table and really it smacks of privilege for certain groups. And yes, people should go in the order they get to the table.
 

I have to say that's the first time I've ever seen anyone group the elderly or the disabled in with the privileged.

I'm assuming, of course, that when you were in your full leg cast that caused issues for you, that if such a "privilege" were extended to you, you would have declined on the basis of fairness.


I did several times - I think it's wrong to do otherwise.
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: jaxsue on August 21, 2013, 02:36:27 PM
I know that when I was disabled for 6 months (bad ankle break, long recovery) I would've appreciated the help. Being on a walker, then a cane, I would have been unable to go through without help. And being jostled by people (I never had any idea how scary that could be!) was always an issue.

Having experienced that, I am quite okay with letting people with mobility issues go before I do. I've been there, and it's no fun!
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: snowdragon on August 21, 2013, 02:38:37 PM
It's not about discrimination, even though you are trying your best to make it out to be.

You're able bodied. You're an adult. You're able to serve yourself and move on without assistance. This system is to make sure that those needing and providing the assistance can do so without being trampled or having to wait in line for a long time (in cases where they can't stand for long or carry young children long).

It's not about you being single and it's ridiculous to make it about that. You're able to walk up to the table and serve yourself without help. If you want a particular dish, it's best you make it for yourself. It's a potluck, not a buffet. There's never going to be enough for everyone and if you're holding out for the "best" you're going to be disappointed every time.

And as someone pointed out up thread, those needing assistance can just as easily go at the end - or have their helpers go through with everyone else. But the "these are going to go first and you get to go last always" is wrong and hurtful.
  If you don't see why it would be - then why is it not acceptable for those needing assistance to go last?
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: turnip on August 21, 2013, 02:41:21 PM
It's not about discrimination, even though you are trying your best to make it out to be.

You're able bodied. You're an adult. You're able to serve yourself and move on without assistance. This system is to make sure that those needing and providing the assistance can do so without being trampled or having to wait in line for a long time (in cases where they can't stand for long or carry young children long).

It's not about you being single and it's ridiculous to make it about that. You're able to walk up to the table and serve yourself without help. If you want a particular dish, it's best you make it for yourself. It's a potluck, not a buffet. There's never going to be enough for everyone and if you're holding out for the "best" you're going to be disappointed every time.

And as someone pointed out up thread, those needing assistance can just as easily go at the end - or have their helpers go through with everyone else. But the "these are going to go first and you get to go last always" is wrong and hurtful.
  If you don't see why it would be - then why is it not acceptable for those needing assistance to go last?

Because there are more important things than making sure you get a full plate of the best food at the potluck?
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: Visiting Crazy Town on August 21, 2013, 02:45:12 PM
Quote
Snowdragon, I think you're taking this much too personally. No one wants to slight you, they just want to make sure that those who would have a much harder time getting to the table and serving themselves than you get the opportunity to do so.

It's never a slight , until it is. And it is when it's a constant, "you get to go last always because I say these are more worthy than you" it's a slight.

They're not more worthy than you. You are more able-bodied than them.

You seem to be doing a mental leap and zig-zag to make this about your worth as a human being rather than your ability to easily serve yourself without assistance.

Don't worry, in my experience, the elderly and small children don't eat much.

How incredibly condescending.  In other words "It's ok for you to be discriminated against...but don't worry there will be enough of the stuff others don't want for you to eat." 
  If organizations expect people to bring more than their share ( and singles usually end up doing this at pot lucks ) then they need to treat us fairly - and not relegate us to the leftovers that others did not want.

I don't understand what is condescending about their post and I don't see any discrimination by letting elderly and people with children go first. you do seem to think that is is some huge slight against families, but I don't think that  it what  it is was a way to make use that  Everyone got something, if the elderly had to wait until after the teens and children I truly think that  there would have been very little left for them and if they  need assistance with  food them the people that  would able to help them would probably be eating and wouldn't want to let their food get cold.  I also doubt you  want a bunch of children milling around while you  are trying to get your food and walk back to the table.
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: snowdragon on August 21, 2013, 02:45:58 PM
It's not about discrimination, even though you are trying your best to make it out to be.

You're able bodied. You're an adult. You're able to serve yourself and move on without assistance. This system is to make sure that those needing and providing the assistance can do so without being trampled or having to wait in line for a long time (in cases where they can't stand for long or carry young children long).

It's not about you being single and it's ridiculous to make it about that. You're able to walk up to the table and serve yourself without help. If you want a particular dish, it's best you make it for yourself. It's a potluck, not a buffet. There's never going to be enough for everyone and if you're holding out for the "best" you're going to be disappointed every time.

And as someone pointed out up thread, those needing assistance can just as easily go at the end - or have their helpers go through with everyone else. But the "these are going to go first and you get to go last always" is wrong and hurtful.
  If you don't see why it would be - then why is it not acceptable for those needing assistance to go last?

Because there are more important things than making sure you get a full plate of the best food at the potluck?

The same can be said for every group there, but it seems only one group is asked to be continually last and judged mean spirited if they say "enough and no more of the favoritism. Engage in it with out my help."
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: Goosey on August 21, 2013, 02:46:36 PM
Because it's gracious to let those not as able as you go first. It shows empathy and humanity to acknowledge that they have it harder than you at this point and they need some support and assistance. It's supporting someone who needs it, not putting them above people on this imaginary human hierarchy of disabled vs. single people. If it's more important that you get the "best" stuff than show compassion for your fellow man who aren't as able as you, well - that really says a lot.

It's a potluck. Unless it's the last potluck before the Apocalypse, I promise you it won't be the last time you go to one. It's called a pot luck because you never know what you're going to get. If there's never enough food, that's one thing, but the idea that all the "best" things are taken by the disabled, elderly and children when they get to go in line ahead of you is eye-roll worthy.
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: snowdragon on August 21, 2013, 02:49:25 PM
Quote
Snowdragon, I think you're taking this much too personally. No one wants to slight you, they just want to make sure that those who would have a much harder time getting to the table and serving themselves than you get the opportunity to do so.

It's never a slight , until it is. And it is when it's a constant, "you get to go last always because I say these are more worthy than you" it's a slight.

They're not more worthy than you. You are more able-bodied than them.

You seem to be doing a mental leap and zig-zag to make this about your worth as a human being rather than your ability to easily serve yourself without assistance.

Don't worry, in my experience, the elderly and small children don't eat much.

How incredibly condescending.  In other words "It's ok for you to be discriminated against...but don't worry there will be enough of the stuff others don't want for you to eat." 
  If organizations expect people to bring more than their share ( and singles usually end up doing this at pot lucks ) then they need to treat us fairly - and not relegate us to the leftovers that others did not want.

I don't understand what is condescending about their post and I don't see any discrimination by letting elderly and people with children go first. you do seem to think that is is some huge slight against families, but I don't think that  it what  it is was a way to make use that  Everyone got something, if the elderly had to wait until after the teens and children I truly think that  there would have been very little left for them and if they  need assistance with  food them the people that  would able to help them would probably be eating and wouldn't want to let their food get cold.  I also doubt you  want a bunch of children milling around while you  are trying to get your food and walk back to the table.

But it's ok for those with out young kids or elderly folks to always have that "very little left" that you mention, all the time?  There is a limited amount  of everything. Everyone contributed - some more than other proportionately- everyone therefor should have the same chances at first,last, and middle.
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: IDriveADodgeStratus on August 21, 2013, 02:50:42 PM
Just go to a restaurant.

There. All better.
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: turnip on August 21, 2013, 02:50:55 PM
It's not about discrimination, even though you are trying your best to make it out to be.

You're able bodied. You're an adult. You're able to serve yourself and move on without assistance. This system is to make sure that those needing and providing the assistance can do so without being trampled or having to wait in line for a long time (in cases where they can't stand for long or carry young children long).

It's not about you being single and it's ridiculous to make it about that. You're able to walk up to the table and serve yourself without help. If you want a particular dish, it's best you make it for yourself. It's a potluck, not a buffet. There's never going to be enough for everyone and if you're holding out for the "best" you're going to be disappointed every time.

And as someone pointed out up thread, those needing assistance can just as easily go at the end - or have their helpers go through with everyone else. But the "these are going to go first and you get to go last always" is wrong and hurtful.
  If you don't see why it would be - then why is it not acceptable for those needing assistance to go last?

Because there are more important things than making sure you get a full plate of the best food at the potluck?

The same can be said for every group there, but it seems only one group is asked to be continually last and judged mean spirited if they say "enough and no more of the favoritism. Engage in it with out my help."

'Only one group' being the non-disabled and the people without small children.  You realize that's the vast majority, right?

Quote
"enough and no more of the favoritism. Engage in it with out my help."

We were and are talking about a church potluck.  I don't think the above quote would find much place there.
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: Goosey on August 21, 2013, 02:51:04 PM
But it's ok for those with out young kids or elderly folks to always have that "very little left" that you mention, all the time?  There is a limited amount  of everything. Everyone contributed - some more than other proportionately- everyone therefor should have the same chances at first,last, and middle.

If there's very little left all the time, the problem is with the AMOUNT of contributions, not who got to go first.
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: SlitherHiss on August 21, 2013, 02:52:12 PM
Because it's gracious to let those not as able as you go first. It shows empathy and humanity to acknowledge that they have it harder than you at this point and they need some support and assistance. It's supporting someone who needs it, not putting them above people on this imaginary human hierarchy of disabled vs. single people. If it's more important that you get the "best" stuff than show compassion for your fellow man who aren't as able as you, well - that really says a lot.

It's a potluck. Unless it's the last potluck before the Apocalypse, I promise you it won't be the last time you go to one. It's called a pot luck because you never know what you're going to get. If there's never enough food, that's one thing, but the idea that all the "best" things are taken by the disabled, elderly and children when they get to go in line ahead of you is eye-roll worthy.

Beautifully put, Goosey.
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: blahblahblah on August 21, 2013, 02:53:28 PM
Quote
But it's ok for those with out young kids or elderly folks to always have that "very little left" that you mention, all the time?   
But really, how often does that happen? Young kids and elderly folk generally don't eat all that much, not to the point where there'd be slim pickings by the time you got to the table. And there's really not a whole lot of them in comparison to the non-elderly/disabled people without young kids. So if you let the non-elderly/disabled people go first, then it's likely that the families with young kids and the elderly won't get much. But the reverse does not hold true. Just because A -> B does not mean that B -> A.

If there's an issue with a particularly popular dish *always* being gone by the time you get to the table, then you can always talk to the potluck directors about only setting out some of the dish immediately, waiting until the first wave of people have gone through, and then putting out the rest of it. Not all of the food has to be set out on the table all at once.
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: Visiting Crazy Town on August 21, 2013, 02:54:17 PM
Quote
Snowdragon, I think you're taking this much too personally. No one wants to slight you, they just want to make sure that those who would have a much harder time getting to the table and serving themselves than you get the opportunity to do so.

It's never a slight , until it is. And it is when it's a constant, "you get to go last always because I say these are more worthy than you" it's a slight.

They're not more worthy than you. You are more able-bodied than them.

You seem to be doing a mental leap and zig-zag to make this about your worth as a human being rather than your ability to easily serve yourself without assistance.

Don't worry, in my experience, the elderly and small children don't eat much.

How incredibly condescending.  In other words "It's ok for you to be discriminated against...but don't worry there will be enough of the stuff others don't want for you to eat." 
  If organizations expect people to bring more than their share ( and singles usually end up doing this at pot lucks ) then they need to treat us fairly - and not relegate us to the leftovers that others did not want.

I don't understand what is condescending about their post and I don't see any discrimination by letting elderly and people with children go first. you do seem to think that is is some huge slight against families, but I don't think that  it what  it is was a way to make use that  Everyone got something, if the elderly had to wait until after the teens and children I truly think that  there would have been very little left for them and if they  need assistance with  food them the people that  would able to help them would probably be eating and wouldn't want to let their food get cold.  I also doubt you  want a bunch of children milling around while you  are trying to get your food and walk back to the table.

But it's ok for those with out young kids or elderly folks to always have that "very little left" that you mention, all the time?  There is a limited amount  of everything. Everyone contributed - some more than other proportionately- everyone therefor should have the same chances at first,last, and middle.

 Unless there was a huge number of elderly and children then I do think that  the would be a significant amount of difference in the amount left over  with the children and elderly going through versus everyone else going through first .
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: snowdragon on August 21, 2013, 02:54:49 PM
But it's ok for those with out young kids or elderly folks to always have that "very little left" that you mention, all the time?  There is a limited amount  of everything. Everyone contributed - some more than other proportionately- everyone therefor should have the same chances at first,last, and middle.

If there's very little left all the time, the problem is with the AMOUNT of contributions, not who got to go first.

same could be said  in the reverse - if the teen go first and there is not enough left for the elderly - then the problem is the AMOUNT not who got to go first.
 
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: Goosey on August 21, 2013, 02:55:03 PM
Because it's gracious to let those not as able as you go first. It shows empathy and humanity to acknowledge that they have it harder than you at this point and they need some support and assistance. It's supporting someone who needs it, not putting them above people on this imaginary human hierarchy of disabled vs. single people. If it's more important that you get the "best" stuff than show compassion for your fellow man who aren't as able as you, well - that really says a lot.

It's a potluck. Unless it's the last potluck before the Apocalypse, I promise you it won't be the last time you go to one. It's called a pot luck because you never know what you're going to get. If there's never enough food, that's one thing, but the idea that all the "best" things are taken by the disabled, elderly and children when they get to go in line ahead of you is eye-roll worthy.

Beautifully put, Goosey.

Thanks  ;D

(P.S. Your snake looks very fine in a top hat and monocle. Perhaps he would like to join my goose for tea sometime?  :P)
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: Sharnita on August 21, 2013, 02:57:27 PM
But isn't that just as true for everyone? How are those things more true for some people at the potluck than others? And if the food will be cold if the caregivers are last to get through the line, isn't that also true if able bodied adults are last?
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: Goosey on August 21, 2013, 02:59:21 PM
But it's ok for those with out young kids or elderly folks to always have that "very little left" that you mention, all the time?  There is a limited amount  of everything. Everyone contributed - some more than other proportionately- everyone therefor should have the same chances at first,last, and middle.

If there's very little left all the time, the problem is with the AMOUNT of contributions, not who got to go first.

same could be said  in the reverse - if the teen go first and there is not enough left for the elderly - then the problem is the AMOUNT not who got to go first.

So, what's the problem? That those horrible less-abled people are getting first picks? If everyone gets to eat, everyone gets to eat. If you resent the elderly, disabled and children for having more varied choices than you, I frankly think that says a lot more about you than about an institution that values compassion and supports those who need it.

If you want first pick, your only guarantee, as a previous poster said, is a restaurant. Pot lucks are not for you.
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: snowdragon on August 21, 2013, 03:01:12 PM
But it's ok for those with out young kids or elderly folks to always have that "very little left" that you mention, all the time?  There is a limited amount  of everything. Everyone contributed - some more than other proportionately- everyone therefor should have the same chances at first,last, and middle.

If there's very little left all the time, the problem is with the AMOUNT of contributions, not who got to go first.

same could be said  in the reverse - if the teen go first and there is not enough left for the elderly - then the problem is the AMOUNT not who got to go first.

So, what's the problem? That those horrible less-abled people are getting first picks? If everyone gets to eat, everyone gets to eat. If you resent the elderly, disabled and children for having more varied choices than you, I frankly think that says a lot more about you than about an institution that values compassion and supports those who need it.

If you want first pick, your only guarantee, as a previous poster said, is a restaurant. Pot lucks are not for you.

Lets say at a potluck the organizers say those needing assistance, whether elderly, disabled or small kids have to go last. Would that be ok?
  Would it be ok if it continued that way for years?

Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: Goosey on August 21, 2013, 03:01:51 PM
Because it's gracious to let those not as able as you go first. It shows empathy and humanity to acknowledge that they have it harder than you at this point and they need some support and assistance. It's supporting someone who needs it, not putting them above people on this imaginary human hierarchy of disabled vs. single people. If it's more important that you get the "best" stuff than show compassion for your fellow man who aren't as able as you, well - that really says a lot.

It's a potluck. Unless it's the last potluck before the Apocalypse, I promise you it won't be the last time you go to one. It's called a pot luck because you never know what you're going to get. If there's never enough food, that's one thing, but the idea that all the "best" things are taken by the disabled, elderly and children when they get to go in line ahead of you is eye-roll worthy.

Quoting myself. I don't think human compassion is an etiquette violation.

ETA: Also, I would encourage people with small children to go first. Hungry children are unhappy children. Unhappy children are loud children. I think it benefits everyone to make sure small kids have full bellies while others are eating up!
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: Yvaine on August 21, 2013, 03:04:41 PM
If you really don't want to make a gracious gesture to people who need extra assistance - well, then I'm thinking attending church functions aren't big on you todo list anyway.

I think you'll find plenty of people who believe in accommodating the less-abled even among those of us who don't go to church.  :)
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: blahblahblah on August 21, 2013, 03:05:22 PM
Quote
And if the food will be cold if the caregivers are last to get through the line, isn't that also true if able bodied adults are last?
People have pointed out that, proportionally speaking, there are generally few elderly/disabled/young kids compared to the general populace. So while a disabled person might take a bit longer to get their food, on the whole it probably takes the disabled group less time to get their food than EVERYONE in the general populace getting theirs. So no, the food will not have as much time to go cold if the able-bodied adults are last.

You know, when I board an airplane, it takes much, much, much longer for General Boarding to take their seats than it does for preboarding passengers.

Quote
Hungry children are unhappy children.
Ugh, yes. Let the little ones get their food first, I'd rather that than listen to them whine about how hungry they are. :P

 
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: Visiting Crazy Town on August 21, 2013, 03:06:39 PM
But it's ok for those with out young kids or elderly folks to always have that "very little left" that you mention, all the time?  There is a limited amount  of everything. Everyone contributed - some more than other proportionately- everyone therefor should have the same chances at first,last, and middle.

If there's very little left all the time, the problem is with the AMOUNT of contributions, not who got to go first.

same could be said  in the reverse - if the teen go first and there is not enough left for the elderly - then the problem is the AMOUNT not who got to go first.

So, what's the problem? That those horrible less-abled people are getting first picks? If everyone gets to eat, everyone gets to eat. If you resent the elderly, disabled and children for having more varied choices than you, I frankly think that says a lot more about you than about an institution that values compassion and supports those who need it.

If you want first pick, your only guarantee, as a previous poster said, is a restaurant. Pot lucks are not for you.

Lets say at a potluck the organizers say those needing assistance, whether elderly, disabled or small kids have to go last. Would that be ok?
  Would it be ok if it continued that way for years?

 If you  are truly so concern about going last them maybe you   should volunteer to assist someone going through the line ahead of you  so that  you  can get what  you  consider you "fair" share of the food.
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: IDriveADodgeStratus on August 21, 2013, 03:08:45 PM
But it's ok for those with out young kids or elderly folks to always have that "very little left" that you mention, all the time?  There is a limited amount  of everything. Everyone contributed - some more than other proportionately- everyone therefor should have the same chances at first,last, and middle.

If there's very little left all the time, the problem is with the AMOUNT of contributions, not who got to go first.

same could be said  in the reverse - if the teen go first and there is not enough left for the elderly - then the problem is the AMOUNT not who got to go first.

So, what's the problem? That those horrible less-abled people are getting first picks? If everyone gets to eat, everyone gets to eat. If you resent the elderly, disabled and children for having more varied choices than you, I frankly think that says a lot more about you than about an institution that values compassion and supports those who need it.

If you want first pick, your only guarantee, as a previous poster said, is a restaurant. Pot lucks are not for you.

Lets say at a potluck the organizers say those needing assistance, whether elderly, disabled or small kids have to go last. Would that be ok?
  Would it be ok if it continued that way for years?

I guess if it's their potluck, it's their rules. The ones who went last all the time could just deal with it I guess. Or go to Denny's.
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: SlitherHiss on August 21, 2013, 03:09:09 PM
Because it's gracious to let those not as able as you go first. It shows empathy and humanity to acknowledge that they have it harder than you at this point and they need some support and assistance. It's supporting someone who needs it, not putting them above people on this imaginary human hierarchy of disabled vs. single people. If it's more important that you get the "best" stuff than show compassion for your fellow man who aren't as able as you, well - that really says a lot.

It's a potluck. Unless it's the last potluck before the Apocalypse, I promise you it won't be the last time you go to one. It's called a pot luck because you never know what you're going to get. If there's never enough food, that's one thing, but the idea that all the "best" things are taken by the disabled, elderly and children when they get to go in line ahead of you is eye-roll worthy.

Beautifully put, Goosey.

Thanks  ;D

(P.S. Your snake looks very fine in a top hat and monocle. Perhaps he would like to join my goose for tea sometime?  :P)

Haha! That sounds lovely.
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: BarensMom on August 21, 2013, 03:09:18 PM
I don't care for potlucks in general, so don't have an opinion on any of it.

All I know is that if you all keep snarking at each other, someone is going to get banned.
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: Goosey on August 21, 2013, 03:11:32 PM
I don't care for potlucks in general, so don't have an opinion on any of it.

All I know is that if you all keep snarking at each other, someone is going to get banned.

I would hope that a mod would jump in first? I know cass### has been in this thread - perhaps she's monitoring it to make sure people don't go too far. :)
Title: Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
Post by: cass2591 on August 21, 2013, 03:15:24 PM
Yes I'm here and round and round we go, therefore locked.