Etiquette Hell

General Etiquette => Life...in general => Topic started by: pierrotlunaire0 on August 21, 2013, 11:02:49 AM

Title: What, if anything, can I say or do?
Post by: pierrotlunaire0 on August 21, 2013, 11:02:49 AM
About 3 years ago, I bought a car with remote started.  That is when I started having problems walking through the doors of a local supermarket.  When you leave, you pass through sensors which sound alarms if your purchase has not been properly deactivated at the cash register.

Now it doesn't happen every time.  I think that they must get a lot of complaints from customers who set it off (person last night mentioned that anything electronic can set it off), and so they lower the sensitivity, and I have no problem.  Then, they probably start noticing losses and they raise the sensitivity again.

Last night, as I walked in, I set it off, so I knew I was in for it when I left.  And yes, the alarm sounded as I started to leave.  So the greeter had to check over my stuff.  I know she is doing her job, and the store has a right to protect her their assets.  But last night, I was exhausted and cranky, and as I came up to the exit, I had my receipt in my hand, ready to hand it to her.  I don't know if that made her more suspicious, but she spent about 5 minutes checking my five items against my receipt, and she even made a comment about me being in the way of someone else while I was standing there waiting on her.

I felt like crying, I was so tired.  I don't want to stop coming to this store: they have excellent meat and produce at good prices.  I don't want to make a fuss at the thing going off when I enter because a smart thief would use that as a cover to steal.  But I also don't want to be held up every time I leave the store.

Is there any thing I can say to the store management?  Or is that just the way it has to be?
Title: Re: What, if anything, can I say or do?
Post by: MindsEye on August 21, 2013, 11:12:33 AM
If the remote starter is just a dongle on your keychain, could you remove it and not carry it with you when you know you are going to this supermarket?  I assume that you still have car keys and could still lock, unlock, and turn on your car without the remote starter...

I do sympathize... back in the days when I was a grad student who walked everywhere, and liked to listen to music when I walked, my portable CD player used to set off the alarms at the grad school library every single time.
Title: Re: What, if anything, can I say or do?
Post by: Deetee on August 21, 2013, 11:17:32 AM
I think I would tell the checker that my car starter sets of the alarm. Then I would hand her the starter and keys and walk through. Then I would ask for my keys back.

I would also write a letter to management asking them to update the sensors or to put a little sign up so you can  hand over the keys.

Other thought: can you get an RFID blocker or equivalent for your keys? Maybe contact the car company?
Title: Re: What, if anything, can I say or do?
Post by: MrTango on August 21, 2013, 11:18:13 AM
That would annoy me to the point where I'd just stop shopping there after a few times.
Title: Re: What, if anything, can I say or do?
Post by: RebeccainGA on August 21, 2013, 11:18:35 AM
My badge from work sets them off sometimes, and yes, it's embarrassing and frustrating. I've found that if I put it between my purse and my body, it lowers the signal enough that it doesn't set the things off - this may help (I keep it in an inner pocket of my bag and turn the bag so that the pocket is closest to my body.

Good luck - and at least if you keep patronizing the same store, maybe they'll either get the clue that they need to adjust things or they'll start doing what the bookstore used to do and let me hand them my badge, pass through to show I didn't set it off, and then hand me my badge as the alarms went off.
Title: Re: What, if anything, can I say or do?
Post by: magician5 on August 21, 2013, 02:15:49 PM
Vote with your dollars: shop elsewhere. And tell 'em why.
Title: Re: What, if anything, can I say or do?
Post by: Shoo on August 21, 2013, 02:42:20 PM
There were so many complaints about this, the Walmarts in my area have stopped doing it. 
Title: Re: What, if anything, can I say or do?
Post by: msulinski on August 21, 2013, 02:49:42 PM
If your remote start is anything like mine, it is built into the fob, so leaving it behind in the car is not going to work. Even with a separate key, having to remove the dongle from the keychain every time I entered this store would be annoying. I would also not give my key ring to anyone to hold.

I usually just keep on walking when I set these things off. I don't know if this is rude or not. I haven't had anyone come running after me yet. If I got searched by anyone, I would do as others suggested and tell management that you won't be shopping there anymore and why. I won't shop anywhere that treats me like a thief.
Title: Re: What, if anything, can I say or do?
Post by: Oh Joy on August 21, 2013, 03:35:09 PM
When the greeter approaches, can't you just hand them your keys and say 'I think it's just my keys.  Would you hold them while I walk through with my purchases?'. Then when you clear the scanner, thank them and reach back or around for your keys.

If it happens at the same place routinely, write a note to management to let them know that this inconvenience deters you from shopping with them.

Best wishes.
Title: Re: What, if anything, can I say or do?
Post by: whiskeytangofoxtrot on August 21, 2013, 03:36:41 PM
If I got searched by anyone, I would do as others suggested and tell management that you won't be shopping there anymore and why. I won't shop anywhere that treats me like a thief.

P.O.D.
Title: Re: What, if anything, can I say or do?
Post by: Seven Ate Nine on August 21, 2013, 04:00:37 PM
I usually just keep on walking when I set these things off. I don't know if this is rude or not. I haven't had anyone come running after me yet. If I got searched by anyone, I would do as others suggested and tell management that you won't be shopping there anymore and why. I won't shop anywhere that treats me like a thief.

I'd agree with this.  At Sam's Club, part of my contract is that I agree to have my purchases tallied by the door greeter, and there is always one stationed there.  When I go to the regular grocery store, I'll just keep walking.  If there were someone there that immediately asked me to stop, I'd do it, but I'm not going to wait for them.

If you want to get technical about it, most of those sensor things don't really mean anything.  We've been conditioned to stop when they go off, but I've never seen one that had a sign that said "Stop of the sensor goes off" and I've only been to one or two stores where the sensor itself gives verbal instructions.
Title: Re: What, if anything, can I say or do?
Post by: Aquamarine on August 21, 2013, 05:25:32 PM
I would speak to the manager and tell them to fix things or they will permanently loose you as a customer.  That's beyond annoying and I would not put up with being stopped at the door while my cold foods got warm.

If this is a place where you did not sign agreement to allow door checks I would just keep on walking.
Title: Re: What, if anything, can I say or do?
Post by: White Lotus on August 21, 2013, 05:32:32 PM
My fob sets off the thing at the bank's airlock entrance.  I just hold up my keys, they see it, and buzz me in.  In OP's case, I'd have my keys out anyway, so I'd just hold them up or out as I went through.  But, yes, if I were stopped or inconvenienced more than once, I would go elsewhere.
Title: Re: What, if anything, can I say or do?
Post by: Golden Phoenix on August 21, 2013, 07:19:46 PM
At thee supermarket i worked at the store keys of various types had tags attached to them so people didn't accidentally go home with them. (the pin type ones you usually see on clothes)

It was quickly discovered that if you hold the tag up above the level of the sensors then it won't pick it up. Worth a shot.

This only works if you have the type of sensor that doesn't go all the way up the door of course.
Title: Re: What, if anything, can I say or do?
Post by: AnnaT on August 21, 2013, 08:20:30 PM
Most of those sensor thingies are posts set next to the door, about 4 foot high - my passcard used to set off the ones in a particular shop and I simply started carrying my passcard in my hand and lifting it high when passing through the sensors.  You can clearly see it is a passcard and with it raised up high, no alarms go off. 
Title: Re: What, if anything, can I say or do?
Post by: wonderfullyanonymous on August 21, 2013, 08:53:13 PM
FInd out from a dealer if they put antitheft devices in the remote itself. If this is the case, find out if there is any way to deactivate the antitheft device.

I was in a shoe store, and going in there wasn't a problem, but when I left, I set both sets of doors off, it was loud, and people came running from everywhere. Scared the tar outta me.

The next time I went in, I stopped before I went in, and told them there was something in my purse that set the doors off. The manager says, oh yeah, I remember you. Sure enough, both doors again. I had some time to waste, so I stopped at the counter, and took my nook out, took my credit and debit cards out of it, ran it over the demagnitizer, then the same with my wallet.  My wallet beeped a couple times on their demagnitizer, and finally cleared. Oddly enough, it never set my works alarms off.
Title: Re: What, if anything, can I say or do?
Post by: *inviteseller on August 21, 2013, 09:10:35 PM
As a retail manager, I understand the sensors.  As a customer they bug the silly out of me.  The one local grocery store has interesting sensors...not only my CD player in my purse, but a pair of metal knitting needles!  I stopped after work one day and had my knitting bag with me as I would knit on the bus.  I walk in, sensor goes off and Mr. Security Guard storms over to me and says "I need to check your cart"  Cue me  :o :o :o as I am standing just inside the door..facing inwards, with an empty cart.  I told him I had just walked in and obviously something in my purse or bag set it off..he proceeds to reach into the kid set where I set my purse and knitting bag and snatch both up and starts pawing through them!  I snatched them back..I didn't mind him going through my purse, but had he made me drop a stitch by pawing at my shawl I would have been all sorts of mad!  I swung them, one at a time at the sensor and my knitting bag went off, took out the project, ran it past the sensor and yup the needles.
I then left my cart and walked out of the store.
Title: Re: What, if anything, can I say or do?
Post by: CakeEater on August 21, 2013, 09:31:27 PM
I set off sensors all the time, and I have never once had anyone even look up to see who has set them off, so I keep walking. I don't know why they even have them in shops here.

OP, I would hand your keys to the door person, walk through, and have your keys back. If there's no door person there, I'd ask any employee nearby to hold them for you. And speak to management to see what they can do.
Title: Re: What, if anything, can I say or do?
Post by: LeveeWoman on August 21, 2013, 10:48:47 PM
If your remote start is anything like mine, it is built into the fob, so leaving it behind in the car is not going to work. Even with a separate key, having to remove the dongle from the keychain every time I entered this store would be annoying. I would also not give my key ring to anyone to hold.

I usually just keep on walking when I set these things off. I don't know if this is rude or not. I haven't had anyone come running after me yet. If I got searched by anyone, I would do as others suggested and tell management that you won't be shopping there anymore and why. I won't shop anywhere that treats me like a thief.

You keep on walking when you set off the store's alarms?
Title: Re: What, if anything, can I say or do?
Post by: JenJay on August 21, 2013, 11:07:40 PM
If your remote start is anything like mine, it is built into the fob, so leaving it behind in the car is not going to work. Even with a separate key, having to remove the dongle from the keychain every time I entered this store would be annoying. I would also not give my key ring to anyone to hold.

I usually just keep on walking when I set these things off. I don't know if this is rude or not. I haven't had anyone come running after me yet. If I got searched by anyone, I would do as others suggested and tell management that you won't be shopping there anymore and why. I won't shop anywhere that treats me like a thief.

You keep on walking when you set off the store's alarms?

I do, too. I know I haven't stolen anything so if there's nobody there to quickly check my purchases I leave. I'm not going to stand around and wait for someone. I'll slow down and look behind me. If a store employee is approaching I stop but if they're all busy? I'm continuing on. They can follow me to my car if they want.

If my keys were consistently setting off the alarm and they always had an employee check my stuff I'd be really annoyed. Someone taking 5 minutes to go over 5 items would anger me. I'd absolutely call the store and complain. Tell them they're your favorite store, both for convenience and quality, but the hassle of being treated like a thief every time you shop there is causing you to reconsider.
Title: Re: What, if anything, can I say or do?
Post by: newbiePA on August 22, 2013, 05:24:31 AM
I keep walking when I set alarms off. I know I'm not stealing.  They are anti theft, not metal detectors.  Hospitals, airports, courthouses are different, of course.
Title: Re: What, if anything, can I say or do?
Post by: whiskeytangofoxtrot on August 22, 2013, 06:25:58 AM
Wow, inviteseller, I sure hope you reported his boorish behavior to the management!
Title: Re: What, if anything, can I say or do?
Post by: earthgirl on August 22, 2013, 07:02:50 AM
I keep walking when I set alarms off. I know I'm not stealing.  They are anti theft, not metal detectors.  Hospitals, airports, courthouses are different, of course.

I keep walking too if the alarm goes off, but keep an ear out for someone shouting after me (which has never happened).

That came back to bite me once when I got home and realized that the cashier had forgotten to remove the anti-theft device on one of the sweaters I'd bought. 
Title: Re: What, if anything, can I say or do?
Post by: tinkytinky on August 22, 2013, 09:23:56 AM
years ago, my dad bought a new pair of dress shoes and only wore them about 2 times before he passed away. My mom gave them to DH as they were his size as well. Several times when he was wearing them we were at the store (or a branch) that sold that brand and DH set off the alarm. We found out that this brand had an actual device IN the heel of the shoe. It obviously never got deactivated when dad bought them, however an employee at the store had DH take off the shoes and she ran them over the device to deactivate them and it never set off the alarm again.


Sorry, not that this helps YOUR situation. I like the idea of lifting the keys over the sensors at the door if at all possible. It would be a minor inconvenience if you really like shopping at that store. If it were me and that wasn't possible, I'm afraid i'd have to find another store in which to shop. I have done that before, not for that reason, but take a break for a couple of months (or weeks). I also don't think it would be out of line to let the manager know why you are leaving as they get a heads up and usually, if they care about not losing business they will work with you so you don't have it happen again.
Title: Re: What, if anything, can I say or do?
Post by: Betelnut on August 22, 2013, 10:10:02 AM
I keep walking when I set alarms off. I know I'm not stealing.  They are anti theft, not metal detectors.  Hospitals, airports, courthouses are different, of course.

I keep walking too if the alarm goes off, but keep an ear out for someone shouting after me (which has never happened).

That came back to bite me once when I got home and realized that the cashier had forgotten to remove the anti-theft device on one of the sweaters I'd bought.

That's what I was going to say--at a clothing store I would definitely stop because I want to make sure that all the devices are removed.  I do not want to make a separate trip to have them take a tag off for me.
Title: Re: What, if anything, can I say or do?
Post by: lowspark on August 22, 2013, 11:08:09 AM
I don't stop either. I'm not guilty of anything and no one ever comes running after me. Similar problem occurs at the library where they have some sensors which (I guess?) somehow make sure your books have been properly checked out. They set of a false alarm sometimes and I just keep walking. If they called out to me or came after me I'd stop. Otherwise, I'm outta here.

With the sensor tags, I'm pretty aware of those so if I'm buying something with a tag, I make sure it gets removed during checkout. By the time I'm leaving the store, that's ancient history.

Those sensors are somewhat like car alarms. They go off falsely so many times that generally everyone who would stand to benefit from them has stopped paying attention.

I will say that I don't shop at stores like Sam's or Costco where they check your receipt as you walk out the door. I don't shop at pay-to-be-a-member stores because I don't see their value, but if a store has to post someone at the door to make sure I'm not stealing, well, I'm just not all that interested in shopping there.
Title: Re: What, if anything, can I say or do?
Post by: Goosey on August 22, 2013, 12:35:08 PM
I don't blame the stores for enacting those rules. I blame the people who steal for making the store feel it was necessary.
Title: Re: What, if anything, can I say or do?
Post by: lowspark on August 22, 2013, 01:50:06 PM
Yeah, I get that. Doesn't make it any more pleasant to deal with though. And certainly not every store does it. So I'll just choose to patronize those who don't for now.
Title: Re: What, if anything, can I say or do?
Post by: flowersintheattic on August 22, 2013, 02:44:23 PM
If your remote start is anything like mine, it is built into the fob, so leaving it behind in the car is not going to work. Even with a separate key, having to remove the dongle from the keychain every time I entered this store would be annoying. I would also not give my key ring to anyone to hold.

I usually just keep on walking when I set these things off. I don't know if this is rude or not. I haven't had anyone come running after me yet. If I got searched by anyone, I would do as others suggested and tell management that you won't be shopping there anymore and why. I won't shop anywhere that treats me like a thief.

You keep on walking when you set off the store's alarms?

I do, too. I know I haven't stolen anything so if there's nobody there to quickly check my purchases I leave. I'm not going to stand around and wait for someone. I'll slow down and look behind me. If a store employee is approaching I stop but if they're all busy? I'm continuing on. They can follow me to my car if they want.

If my keys were consistently setting off the alarm and they always had an employee check my stuff I'd be really annoyed. Someone taking 5 minutes to go over 5 items would anger me. I'd absolutely call the store and complain. Tell them they're your favorite store, both for convenience and quality, but the hassle of being treated like a thief every time you shop there is causing you to reconsider.

My current purse has a large metal clasp right in front that seems to set off these alarms some places. If they go off, I'll pause and make sure no one's coming to check me. Usually I just get waved through, though.  I've only ever had an employee check my things at a clothing store when I had made a purchase, to make sure the anti-theft device had been removed.

In your case, OP, I like the idea of holding the keys above your head when you go through. I also liked the suggestion of handing them to the greeter, especially if there's always someone right there.
Title: Re: What, if anything, can I say or do?
Post by: *inviteseller on August 22, 2013, 04:52:23 PM
I did better than that WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot...I have never gone back to that store.  It is convenient for me to go there, but that was the icing on the cake for this place (they make their cashiers take surly training classes I think).  Going to the manager probably would have made absolutely no difference. 
Title: Re: What, if anything, can I say or do?
Post by: rose red on August 22, 2013, 05:11:00 PM
There's a store at the mall where the alarm goes off when people have merchandise from other stores at the mall.  The sensors are deactivated at the original stores, but triggers it anyway at that certain store.  Employees are so use to it that they don't pay attention anymore.  I always say a real thief can get away because of all the "crying wolf" alarms have jaded the employees.

At another store I went into, the alarm went off and the security guard asked if I brought anything from "nearby store."  So they know the problem but don't adjust the alarm.

I don't know what's the point when it works like that and they don't fix it.  It's just a waste of money
Title: Re: What, if anything, can I say or do?
Post by: Shea on August 22, 2013, 06:49:27 PM
If the remote starter is just a dongle on your keychain, could you remove it and not carry it with you when you know you are going to this supermarket?  I assume that you still have car keys and could still lock, unlock, and turn on your car without the remote starter...

I do sympathize... back in the days when I was a grad student who walked everywhere, and liked to listen to music when I walked, my portable CD player used to set off the alarms at the grad school library every single time.

Happens all the time at my library. Often it's because students have used the self-checkout machines but didn't run the book through the densensitizer properly, but more often than you'd think, it's because the students just haven't checked the books out, so we always call them back. Sometimes it's an electronic setting it off though, usually a laptop or tablet. We're always polite about it though!