Etiquette Hell

Etiquette School is in session! => "I'm afraid that won't be possible." => Topic started by: GlitterIsMyDrug on September 09, 2013, 05:00:55 PM

Title: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
Post by: GlitterIsMyDrug on September 09, 2013, 05:00:55 PM
I was so excited I actually got to use this phrase! And it was the perfect response in the moment!

B/G: I was asked to be a bridesmaid in a friend's wedding, friend (K) and I have known each other since Jr. High, and I know her mom decently well. About a month ago we all went (6 bridesmaids total) to pick out our dresses and agreed on a lovely style. However, they aren't cheap, so everyone made arrangements to get the dresses at a later time (a few were going to look on line, others were doing payments with the store, ect), myself included. End B/G.

I am a frequent thrift shopper. I love thrift stores, second hand shops, ect. I find a good amount of my wardrobe at these stores and am quiet well seasoned at finding the "good stuff" (or turning the "bad stuff" into "good stuff") and this weekend I hit up a half price sale at my local goodwill. Well imagine my surprise as I was pursuing the dresses to find...the exact bridesmaid dress I needed! At a very, very steep discount! Only downside was it was a size too big for me, so I knew I'd either have to take it in or take it to my tailor to take it in. Even taking that expense into consideration it would still be considerably less then the bridal store.

I tried it on and sent a picture to my friend K (BTB) to make sure it was the right one and bought it (even if I was wrong, it was cute dress for good deal). I get a text back from K to say it looks great and can I come over to her mom's house and show her and her mom in person. Sure, no problem, I grabbed the shoes I was going to wear with it so they could see the whole "look" and headed over.

I try it on, mom and K are happy as clams. Mom does notice it looks a bit big and I confirm that it is one size bigger and that I'll have it taken in, which confuses Mom, did the store not have my size? Why not just order the right size and have it shipped to store? At which point I say I didn't buy it at the store I found it at a thrift store (K was already aware of this as I had texted her "look what I found at goodwill!"). Mom gives me a smile nods, hmms, and I say I'm going to go change back into my street clothes. I head upstairs and Mom follows me and corners me in the bedroom to let me know I couldn't wear this dress, it was used and I needed to go buy the one from the bridal store. I kind of stare at her blankly, and ask why I should go spend considerably more on an identical dress just because of where it comes from. Her response is that money isn't an issue for me like some of the other girls, so I have no excuse to not pay full price for my dress.

I smile at her say "Since K seems to be happy with this dress, this is the dress I'll be wearing" to which she replies "You need to go to the bridal store and buy it new" at which point (still with a smile) I say "That just isn't going to be possible, now if you'll excuse me, I need to get changed", I picked up my street clothes and slipped into the bathroom to change my clothes.

I know this isn't over. I've already gotten three emails about it. Two from Mom, one from K saying "I'm just glad you have the dress, I don't care if you bought it at a brand new store on the 7th moon of Jupiter". I figure Mom will find something else to fret over soon enough and forget all together where my dress came from.

Did discover one difference, mine has pockets!!! You can't see them when the dress is on, but they are there!! Pockets!!!!
Title: Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
Post by: Pen^2 on September 09, 2013, 05:07:31 PM
Well done and nicely used! Although I worry for your friend. Hopefully this situation was atypical of her, but the mother might turn out to be a bridezilla-by-proxy.
Title: Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
Post by: Yvaine on September 09, 2013, 05:14:50 PM
As a thriftaholic myself, I gotta say...great score!
Title: Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
Post by: VorFemme on September 09, 2013, 05:47:51 PM
Ooohhh, pockets - the one thing that most women's formal wear is sadly missing!

Now you won't need one of those cute but nearly useless tiny bags to carry around a comb, lipstick, money, ID, and the like - just slide them into a pocket!
Title: Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
Post by: NyaChan on September 09, 2013, 06:46:34 PM
Great story!
Title: Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
Post by: Layla Miller on September 09, 2013, 08:01:56 PM
Can I just say as a Doctor Who fan that I heard you saying "Pockets!" in Donna Noble's voice?  ;D
Title: Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
Post by: Mental Magpie on September 09, 2013, 08:41:37 PM
What a perfect place to use the phrase!  I'm glad you remembered it!
Title: Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
Post by: Danika on September 10, 2013, 12:33:51 AM
Her response is that money isn't an issue for me like some of the other girls, so I have no excuse to not pay full price for my dress.

Woaah! If she gives you that line again, use the next EHell phrase (which you can save in your pockets - yay for pockets, I never carry a purse) and say "What an interesting assumption!"

Good for you for getting the dress at Goodwill! What a find! Glad that K is rational and reasonable and not a bridezilla. And good for you for using your EHell phrase "I'm afraid that won't be possible."
Title: Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
Post by: TeamBhakta on September 10, 2013, 01:53:35 AM
Next time use my mom's favorite phrase on her: "Boy, you sure do enjoy spending other people's money"  8)
Title: Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
Post by: YummyMummy66 on September 10, 2013, 05:14:31 AM
If it is the same dress as the dress store, I would just tell her, "Ok, I will get right on that!".   

Day of wedding, when she comments on how nice your bridal dress is, especially since it came from bridal store, then I might or might not let her know that it actually was from the original store or maybe just a Thank you.
Title: Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
Post by: GlitterIsMyDrug on September 10, 2013, 01:40:10 PM
Ooohhh, pockets - the one thing that most women's formal wear is sadly missing!

Now you won't need one of those cute but nearly useless tiny bags to carry around a comb, lipstick, money, ID, and the like - just slide them into a pocket!

See you went to the logical grown up place...mine went...I can hide snacks! Seriously, why don't we put pockets on all the dresses? Men get them on their suits! Purses are great, but sometimes you just need a darn pocket!
Title: Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
Post by: magicdomino on September 10, 2013, 01:44:51 PM
See you went to the logical grown up place...mine went...I can hide snacks! Seriously, why don't we put pockets on all the dresses? Men get them on their suits! Purses are great, but sometimes you just need a darn pocket!

It ruins the lines of the dress.  Or so I've been told.   ::)
Title: Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
Post by: GlitterIsMyDrug on September 10, 2013, 01:48:04 PM
Her response is that money isn't an issue for me like some of the other girls, so I have no excuse to not pay full price for my dress.

Woaah! If she gives you that line again, use the next EHell phrase (which you can save in your pockets - yay for pockets, I never carry a purse) and say "What an interesting assumption!"

Good for you for getting the dress at Goodwill! What a find! Glad that K is rational and reasonable and not a bridezilla. And good for you for using your EHell phrase "I'm afraid that won't be possible."

I think I'm going to have to start using that a lot more often with her! This isn't the first reference she's made to how much money I make/have, usually I just ignore it, my mom drilled it into my head that the easiest way to tell who has no money is to see who talks about it the most, so just keep your lips zipped. It really is none of her business, she knows the field I work in and knows partner and I live debt free, so she's able to deduce that between the two of us we have a decent bank account, but again...not her money, not her business (even my own mother stays out of my money).

I hate carrying a purse! But I love purses. It's like my heels, I love them, but I'd rather wear a pair of chucks or flip flops. Partner and I have figured out it's easier if we carry one purse for the two of us, so we can swap who has to carry/keep track of, said purse.

K is pretty chill, there are a few things that I already know have the potential to send her 'round the bend, but since I (and most of her bridesmaids) already know what they are we can smooth out any bumps ahead of time...hopefully.
Title: Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
Post by: GlitterIsMyDrug on September 10, 2013, 01:49:38 PM
See you went to the logical grown up place...mine went...I can hide snacks! Seriously, why don't we put pockets on all the dresses? Men get them on their suits! Purses are great, but sometimes you just need a darn pocket!

It ruins the lines of the dress.  Or so I've been told.   ::)

Lies! All lies to make us buy more purses!! Actually have I no idea, that sounds vaguely factual, I wouldn't know anything about lines. And while I can refashion I've only made two things from scratch...and it was a lot of work and they did not have pockets.
Title: Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
Post by: GlitterIsMyDrug on September 10, 2013, 01:50:10 PM
Next time use my mom's favorite phrase on her: "Boy, you sure do enjoy spending other people's money"  8)

LMAO!!! I love it!
Title: Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
Post by: DavidH on September 10, 2013, 01:52:03 PM
I'd call her and say that she was right, you needed the new dress and went and bought one.  Then on the day of be sure to mention to her something like, doesn't this just look fantastic, and she'll never know the difference and will be thrilled she was right. 
Title: Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
Post by: Shalamar on September 10, 2013, 04:03:12 PM
Some people have a real problem with wearing used clothing - as if you're going to pick up something nasty.  Unless you're in the habit of keeping clothes you find behind dumpsters, however, that shouldn't be a problem!  Clothes can be washed, after all.  I LOVE thrift stores and consignment stores.

I remember Amy whatsername (argh - what was her name?  The lady with the cheapskate blog?) having an argument with someone about buying clothes from thrift stores.   Amy said innocently "You stay in hotels, don't you?"  "Yes."  "Ewww!" said Amy, very tongue-in-cheek, "you mean you sleep in sheets that someone else slept in?"  "That's not the same thing!   They wash those sheets!"   "Yes, and I wash the clothes I buy.  It's exactly the same thing."
Title: Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
Post by: Mental Magpie on September 10, 2013, 04:48:40 PM
I'd call her and say that she was right, you needed the new dress and went and bought one.  Then on the day of be sure to mention to her something like, doesn't this just look fantastic, and she'll never know the difference and will be thrilled she was right.

I wouldn't do that. It just encourages her to think she is right in telling other people what I do and that this behavior is accept le in the future.
Title: Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
Post by: VorFemme on September 10, 2013, 04:48:57 PM
If you want the effect of pockets without "ruining the way the dress hangs" - you have to wear a belt with the pockets in it and get to them with open seams at the correct height - there are ways to adjust the seams so that they overlap slightly (making it less likely that they gap and expose your thighs, hips, or the hidden pockets hanging from your belt....a rather old fashioned way of doing it...medieval, even).  Although apparently that was because that was the only way to keep YOUR small belongings in your control - was to wear them or carry them on a belt at all times.
Title: Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
Post by: RooRoo on September 11, 2013, 11:31:51 PM
Speaking as someone who has made many of my own clothes, pockets do not have to ruin the lines of anything. The main trick is to not put a pocket where the fabric will tighten/loosen in normal wear. For example, the side seam, at the place where any garment will tighten when one sits down or bends over. That will gap every time.  And of course it will gap all the time if the garment is too tight.

And since fashions have been running to skin-tightness for around 60 years...   :(
Title: Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
Post by: GlitterIsMyDrug on September 12, 2013, 12:15:43 PM
Good news! One of the other bridesmaids suggested that to save some money we make our own bouquets and the groomsmen can help make their own boutonnieres, still buying the bride's bouquets and the groom's boutonniere. Sounded like a great plan to me, our bouquets are really simple (just 6 white roses each, so three dozen and some ribbon), and the bridesmaid who suggested can get a good discount through her work on some very nice flowers (I know we got them for our last friend's wedding!).

Of course MOB is well...not pleased with that idea. What will people think?! Well, nothing if we don't tell them. And if we do, oh wow what a great way to save money. I'm guessing. Bride suggested silk a while back, that went over as well as the make our own plan.

Flowers...who knew they were such a big deal? Got her off my used dress...though she probably assumes I went out and bought a new one because why would I not she told me to after all. Eh, the emails stopped I'm happy.
Title: Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
Post by: Redneck Gravy on September 12, 2013, 01:27:33 PM
Congrats on the thrift store score !

I just don't have the words for momzilla. 

Title: Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
Post by: bopper on September 12, 2013, 01:41:45 PM
"If you would like me to have  a brand new dress, you are welcome to buy me one.  The dress I have is in very good shape and nobody will know."

I assume that new dresses are "better" and she wants the best for her baby girl!
Title: Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
Post by: Zizi-K on September 12, 2013, 01:52:25 PM
Good news! One of the other bridesmaids suggested that to save some money we make our own bouquets and the groomsmen can help make their own boutonnieres, still buying the bride's bouquets and the groom's boutonniere. Sounded like a great plan to me, our bouquets are really simple (just 6 white roses each, so three dozen and some ribbon), and the bridesmaid who suggested can get a good discount through her work on some very nice flowers (I know we got them for our last friend's wedding!).

Of course MOB is well...not pleased with that idea. What will people think?! Well, nothing if we don't tell them. And if we do, oh wow what a great way to save money. I'm guessing. Bride suggested silk a while back, that went over as well as the make our own plan.

Flowers...who knew they were such a big deal? Got her off my used dress...though she probably assumes I went out and bought a new one because why would I not she told me to after all. Eh, the emails stopped I'm happy.

I'm curious who will be saving the money? The bride (and groom) is supposed to provide the flowers for the wedding, the attendants are not supposed to buy their own flowers. Is this a gift to the bride?
Title: Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
Post by: Yvaine on September 12, 2013, 02:16:35 PM
Good news! One of the other bridesmaids suggested that to save some money we make our own bouquets and the groomsmen can help make their own boutonnieres, still buying the bride's bouquets and the groom's boutonniere. Sounded like a great plan to me, our bouquets are really simple (just 6 white roses each, so three dozen and some ribbon), and the bridesmaid who suggested can get a good discount through her work on some very nice flowers (I know we got them for our last friend's wedding!).

Of course MOB is well...not pleased with that idea. What will people think?! Well, nothing if we don't tell them. And if we do, oh wow what a great way to save money. I'm guessing. Bride suggested silk a while back, that went over as well as the make our own plan.

Flowers...who knew they were such a big deal? Got her off my used dress...though she probably assumes I went out and bought a new one because why would I not she told me to after all. Eh, the emails stopped I'm happy.

I'm curious who will be saving the money? The bride (and groom) is supposed to provide the flowers for the wedding, the attendants are not supposed to buy their own flowers. Is this a gift to the bride?

It might well still be with the bride's money. I read it as the bride can save money if she buys the flowers through the bridesmaid's work, and if she just buys them "as is" and then the bridal party assembles them into bouquets themselves. Otherwise she'd be paying more for the flowers (by not getting the discount) and also for the professional arranging.
Title: Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
Post by: GlitterIsMyDrug on September 12, 2013, 02:19:59 PM
Good news! One of the other bridesmaids suggested that to save some money we make our own bouquets and the groomsmen can help make their own boutonnieres, still buying the bride's bouquets and the groom's boutonniere. Sounded like a great plan to me, our bouquets are really simple (just 6 white roses each, so three dozen and some ribbon), and the bridesmaid who suggested can get a good discount through her work on some very nice flowers (I know we got them for our last friend's wedding!).

Of course MOB is well...not pleased with that idea. What will people think?! Well, nothing if we don't tell them. And if we do, oh wow what a great way to save money. I'm guessing. Bride suggested silk a while back, that went over as well as the make our own plan.

Flowers...who knew they were such a big deal? Got her off my used dress...though she probably assumes I went out and bought a new one because why would I not she told me to after all. Eh, the emails stopped I'm happy.

I'm curious who will be saving the money? The bride (and groom) is supposed to provide the flowers for the wedding, the attendants are not supposed to buy their own flowers. Is this a gift to the bride?

Save money for the bride and groom. They're paying for the bulk of the wedding themselves, so we'll suggest ways to get something a little cheaper if we know about it. Like I know of two local caters who will give them a discount because they're both teachers, so I'm making sure they're on the list of caters to check out.
Title: Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
Post by: FauxFoodist on September 12, 2013, 02:39:49 PM
Good news! One of the other bridesmaids suggested that to save some money we make our own bouquets and the groomsmen can help make their own boutonnieres, still buying the bride's bouquets and the groom's boutonniere. Sounded like a great plan to me, our bouquets are really simple (just 6 white roses each, so three dozen and some ribbon), and the bridesmaid who suggested can get a good discount through her work on some very nice flowers (I know we got them for our last friend's wedding!).

Of course MOB is well...not pleased with that idea. What will people think?! Well, nothing if we don't tell them. And if we do, oh wow what a great way to save money. I'm guessing. Bride suggested silk a while back, that went over as well as the make our own plan.

Flowers...who knew they were such a big deal? Got her off my used dress...though she probably assumes I went out and bought a new one because why would I not she told me to after all. Eh, the emails stopped I'm happy.

Perhaps someone could tell MOB that your dress is the something old part of "Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue?"

Good deal on making your bouquets!  :)  I made mine and my bridesmaids the night before my wedding.  DH ran around the day before our wedding and went to three locations of a local grocery store chain to pick up the number of roses I wanted (I think it was something like five dozen); I already had the floral tape, which I bought from Michael's at a discount.  No boutonnieres as they would've damaged the wedding shirts of DH and his party.  Fortunately, no relatives had issue with our cost-cutting efforts (DH and I paid for our wedding ourselves so it's not like anyone would've had a say in that).
Title: Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
Post by: Cami on September 12, 2013, 04:52:57 PM
See you went to the logical grown up place...mine went...I can hide snacks! Seriously, why don't we put pockets on all the dresses? Men get them on their suits! Purses are great, but sometimes you just need a darn pocket!

It ruins the lines of the dress.  Or so I've been told.   ::)
As a former bridal consultant, fitter and seamstress I will say that pockets certainly do ruin the lines of a dress...when the wearer shoves their hands in the pockets and keeps them there.  Which is often the case.

At one point in our bridal salon, we got in a maids gown and a bridal gown with pockets. We encourage our brides to send us photos of their big day. Every photo we got of people in those gowns look bad, IMO, because they all had their fists in the pockets, pulling down the gown and making LUMPS in the hip area. Blech.
Title: Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
Post by: AnaMaria on September 12, 2013, 10:16:56 PM
I'm really wondering who's paying for the wedding??  If it's the parents, aren't they glad they're spending less?  If it's B&G, what right does MOB have to be saying they need to spend more???

First part of the story reminds me of my best friend's wedding- she wanted to check out some pre-owned wedding dresses to see if she could get a better deal, and her mother threw a fit saying that wearing a used wedding dress meant that she was "used" (we come from a religious background where physical intimacy is reserved for marriage).  Okay, it's bad enough when people get hung up on the color of  a wedding dress- like wearing anything other than pure white means you aren't "pure"- but the used status of the dress??   Who's going to know and WHO CARES???
Title: Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
Post by: PastryGoddess on September 12, 2013, 11:03:31 PM
If and when I get married, I am definitely going to wear a used wedding dress.  I might go shopping to figure out which designers and silhouettes, I like.  But unless it's on sale at a deep deep discount. I'm buying used. 
Title: Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
Post by: guihong on September 13, 2013, 11:52:24 AM
I'm assuming the groom and his men are renting their tuxes-those are therefore used.  What's the difference?

I wish I'd thought of thrifts for my own wedding dress (I've seen some at Goodwill), or even-gasp-Renting a dress ;).
Title: Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
Post by: Redsoil on September 13, 2013, 11:59:20 AM
One phrase I quite like if someone assumes I have money to burn is "That's as may be."  Then bean-dip.
Title: Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
Post by: GlitterIsMyDrug on September 13, 2013, 12:27:39 PM
I'm really wondering who's paying for the wedding??  If it's the parents, aren't they glad they're spending less?  If it's B&G, what right does MOB have to be saying they need to spend more???

First part of the story reminds me of my best friend's wedding- she wanted to check out some pre-owned wedding dresses to see if she could get a better deal, and her mother threw a fit saying that wearing a used wedding dress meant that she was "used" (we come from a religious background where physical intimacy is reserved for marriage).  Okay, it's bad enough when people get hung up on the color of  a wedding dress- like wearing anything other than pure white means you aren't "pure"- but the used status of the dress??   Who's going to know and WHO CARES???

Bride/Groom are paying for most of it, I'd say about 80%-90% of the bill, and each of their parents gave them a set amount to go towards the wedding/honeymoon. Her mom did pay for the church and reception hall because she was instant it be in the church because...what will people think (nothing! they will think nothing!) otherwise? And his are paying for the rehearsal dinner. Her mother doesn't really care about money per say, like one girl ordered her's from an online store and saved some money and she's good with that, but more of what will people think if they find out. I'm of the "Those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter" school of thought. We didn't worry about what the neighbors thought in my family, we'd perfer to give them something to talk about.

Oh I learned a very long time ago do not mention used wedding dresses. Apparently they might have bad mojo attached (like the dress of a jilted bride), and your dress must be new. This was when I mentioned off handily one day before anyone I knew started getting married that I'd buy a used dress if it was something I liked (especially since I want a vintage styled dress). Partner's and I actually have...wait for it...used engagement rings. I know, I know. What are people thinking about us? And the mojo. My grandma bought them at an antique store when I was like 12, when Partner got serious about popping the question, grandma busted out the one she always thought would be perfect for me, and then she after we got engaged she gave me the other that's perfect for Partner to present to her. They're gorgeous and suit us wonderfully, they also look lovely together. Plus we made up a fun back story about their history (totally made up, just a bit of fun). But still I've gotten some "Oh, so they aren't new?" reactions. No, antique does usually indicate someone else owned it first (they aren't technically antiques, they aren't old enough).

And yes, we have been looking at used wedding dresses. People are thinking all kinds of things about us I'm sure.
Title: Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
Post by: GlitterIsMyDrug on September 13, 2013, 12:33:31 PM
Some people have a real problem with wearing used clothing - as if you're going to pick up something nasty.  Unless you're in the habit of keeping clothes you find behind dumpsters, however, that shouldn't be a problem!  Clothes can be washed, after all.  I LOVE thrift stores and consignment stores.

I remember Amy whatsername (argh - what was her name?  The lady with the cheapskate blog?) having an argument with someone about buying clothes from thrift stores.   Amy said innocently "You stay in hotels, don't you?"  "Yes."  "Ewww!" said Amy, very tongue-in-cheek, "you mean you sleep in sheets that someone else slept in?"  "That's not the same thing!   They wash those sheets!"   "Yes, and I wash the clothes I buy.  It's exactly the same thing."

I never understand people who freak at "used" clothing. I mean, people try on clothes in the stores before buying them...others have tried them on as well...isn't that the same thing? It's not like you don't wash clothes. At least I do. I'm kind of grossed out by these people who won't wear used clothes now because I'm thinking maybe they don't wash their clothes.

I had a conversation once with a young woman who was pregnant and trying to save money. She was ranting that someone had suggessted she put her child in used clothing. USED CLOTHING for her precious baby!! The whole time I was thinking, you're baby is going to be very messy, and grow very quickly, new clothes are just waste of money for an infant (and they don't care).
Title: Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
Post by: GlitterIsMyDrug on September 13, 2013, 12:38:09 PM
I'm assuming the groom and his men are renting their tuxes-those are therefore used.  What's the difference?

I wish I'd thought of thrifts for my own wedding dress (I've seen some at Goodwill), or even-gasp-Renting a dress ;).

People expect men to rent tuxes, they neighbors will be ok with that. Actually they guys are all wearing suits they already own in black (they happen to all own black suits), with black button downs and colorful ties. I think only one guy needs the button down (he doesn't have a black one) and then they're all gonna go out buy ties. Her mother already threw the "they have to wear tuxes" fit that fell on deaf ears. The groom is wearing a white button down with a white tie and his already owned black suit.

My mother always told me (from like a young age) if I ever get married, I should rent my dress. I want to buy some something vintage, so probably used, she's good with that too. Well I'm paying so she really doesn't get a vote...but she's happy I'm willing to go used. I've seen some in the thrift stores that are like...almost brand new!
Title: Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
Post by: AnaMaria on September 13, 2013, 12:56:19 PM
Me too!  As a pageant competitor I've gotten really good at finding deals on dresses online.  No way am I paying full-price (or picking out a  dress I don't like that's cheaper) just because someone might think I was "used!!"
Title: Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
Post by: Asharah on September 13, 2013, 01:00:48 PM
I'm really wondering who's paying for the wedding??  If it's the parents, aren't they glad they're spending less?  If it's B&G, what right does MOB have to be saying they need to spend more???

First part of the story reminds me of my best friend's wedding- she wanted to check out some pre-owned wedding dresses to see if she could get a better deal, and her mother threw a fit saying that wearing a used wedding dress meant that she was "used" (we come from a religious background where physical intimacy is reserved for marriage).  Okay, it's bad enough when people get hung up on the color of  a wedding dress- like wearing anything other than pure white means you aren't "pure"- but the used status of the dress??   Who's going to know and WHO CARES???

Bride/Groom are paying for most of it, I'd say about 80%-90% of the bill, and each of their parents gave them a set amount to go towards the wedding/honeymoon. Her mom did pay for the church and reception hall because she was instant it be in the church because...what will people think (nothing! they will think nothing!) otherwise? And his are paying for the rehearsal dinner. Her mother doesn't really care about money per say, like one girl ordered her's from an online store and saved some money and she's good with that, but more of what will people think if they find out. I'm of the "Those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter" school of thought. We didn't worry about what the neighbors thought in my family, we'd perfer to give them something to talk about.

Oh I learned a very long time ago do not mention used wedding dresses. Apparently they might have bad mojo attached (like the dress of a jilted bride), and your dress must be new. This was when I mentioned off handily one day before anyone I knew started getting married that I'd buy a used dress if it was something I liked (especially since I want a vintage styled dress). Partner's and I actually have...wait for it...used engagement rings. I know, I know. What are people thinking about us? And the mojo. My grandma bought them at an antique store when I was like 12, when Partner got serious about popping the question, grandma busted out the one she always thought would be perfect for me, and then she after we got engaged she gave me the other that's perfect for Partner to present to her. They're gorgeous and suit us wonderfully, they also look lovely together. Plus we made up a fun back story about their history (totally made up, just a bit of fun). But still I've gotten some "Oh, so they aren't new?" reactions. No, antique does usually indicate someone else owned it first (they aren't technically antiques, they aren't old enough).

And yes, we have been looking at used wedding dresses. People are thinking all kinds of things about us I'm sure.
I remember when Prince William & Kate announced their engagement with the ring his dad gave his mum and I wondered if that was a good idea, given what happened to Chuck & Di's marriage.
Title: Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
Post by: blue2000 on September 13, 2013, 02:25:07 PM
Some people have a real problem with wearing used clothing - as if you're going to pick up something nasty.  Unless you're in the habit of keeping clothes you find behind dumpsters, however, that shouldn't be a problem!  Clothes can be washed, after all.  I LOVE thrift stores and consignment stores.

I remember Amy whatsername (argh - what was her name?  The lady with the cheapskate blog?) having an argument with someone about buying clothes from thrift stores.   Amy said innocently "You stay in hotels, don't you?"  "Yes."  "Ewww!" said Amy, very tongue-in-cheek, "you mean you sleep in sheets that someone else slept in?"  "That's not the same thing!   They wash those sheets!"   "Yes, and I wash the clothes I buy.  It's exactly the same thing."

I never understand people who freak at "used" clothing. I mean, people try on clothes in the stores before buying them...others have tried them on as well...isn't that the same thing? It's not like you don't wash clothes. At least I do. I'm kind of grossed out by these people who won't wear used clothes now because I'm thinking maybe they don't wash their clothes.

I had a conversation once with a young woman who was pregnant and trying to save money. She was ranting that someone had suggessted she put her child in used clothing. USED CLOTHING for her precious baby!! The whole time I was thinking, you're baby is going to be very messy, and grow very quickly, new clothes are just waste of money for an infant (and they don't care).

There are some things I don't like to buy used, but not everything. I work retail. I see how much dirt and shenanigans goes on with the new clothing racks!

The bolded reminds me of someone my mother knew years ago. This lady only wore new clothes - she didn't like the feel of clothing that had been washed, even if it was only once. Mother helped her clean out her basement and took about ten(?) huge bags of clothes to the thrift shop because they had been worn and the lady didn't want them anymore.
Title: Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
Post by: VorFemme on September 13, 2013, 03:33:11 PM

I remember when Prince William & Kate announced their engagement with the ring his dad gave his mum and I wondered if that was a good idea, given what happened to Chuck & Di's marriage.

Actually, I think it was lovely that it ended up being given and received with love...by her son to his wife.
Title: Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
Post by: Sophia on October 05, 2013, 07:46:32 AM
On the bride's bouquet, if the only reason the bride abandoned the silk idea was her mom having the vapors, you want to mention this idea.  Silk bouquets can be kept forever. 
I made a cascade one out of various white flowers from Michael's.  It is now on top of a bookcase in the living room and my tiara is nestled in the flowers.  Both the mothers got wrist corsages on ribbons and they are both on display at their houses.  (They could have tossed them, but they both think they are pretty)
Title: Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
Post by: VorFemme on October 05, 2013, 10:55:49 AM
On the bride's bouquet, if the only reason the bride abandoned the silk idea was her mom having the vapors, you want to mention this idea.  Silk bouquets can be kept forever. 
I made a cascade one out of various white flowers from Michael's.  It is now on top of a bookcase in the living room and my tiara is nestled in the flowers.  Both the mothers got wrist corsages on ribbons and they are both on display at their houses.  (They could have tossed them, but they both think they are pretty)

DD (Ambrosia Hino) played with my matron of honor flowers from a wedding before she was conceived - once she got old enough to play dress up and wanted a bouquet of flowers.  My original wedding bouquet (a gift from my MIL just before the wedding) is dried flower stems, dusty lace, a plastic handle, and not much more...granted, we are coming up on our 38th anniversary the first weekend of December! 

But silk flowers can be made ahead and don't have to be kept in the fridge, tying up space needed for the canapés!
Title: Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
Post by: IrishGenes on October 06, 2013, 01:47:18 PM
Some people have a real problem with wearing used clothing - as if you're going to pick up something nasty.  Unless you're in the habit of keeping clothes you find behind dumpsters, however, that shouldn't be a problem!  Clothes can be washed, after all.  I LOVE thrift stores and consignment stores.

I remember Amy whatsername (argh - what was her name?  The lady with the cheapskate blog?) having an argument with someone about buying clothes from thrift stores.   Amy said innocently "You stay in hotels, don't you?"  "Yes."  "Ewww!" said Amy, very tongue-in-cheek, "you mean you sleep in sheets that someone else slept in?"  "That's not the same thing!   They wash those sheets!"   "Yes, and I wash the clothes I buy.  It's exactly the same thing."

Amy Dacyzyn.  ;)
Title: Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
Post by: BarensMom on October 06, 2013, 04:43:07 PM
Some people have a real problem with wearing used clothing - as if you're going to pick up something nasty.  Unless you're in the habit of keeping clothes you find behind dumpsters, however, that shouldn't be a problem!  Clothes can be washed, after all.  I LOVE thrift stores and consignment stores.

I remember Amy whatsername (argh - what was her name?  The lady with the cheapskate blog?) having an argument with someone about buying clothes from thrift stores.   Amy said innocently "You stay in hotels, don't you?"  "Yes."  "Ewww!" said Amy, very tongue-in-cheek, "you mean you sleep in sheets that someone else slept in?"  "That's not the same thing!   They wash those sheets!"   "Yes, and I wash the clothes I buy.  It's exactly the same thing."

Amy Dacyzyn.  ;)

I myself don't like wearing used clothing, but that's my issue, so I don't say "Ewww!" when others shop there.

To my mind, the difference between used hotel sheets and used clothing is that, for the most part, I like to make the assumption that the sheets been washed in hot water and bleached.  Whereas most clothing doesn't do well in hot water and bleach, so I feel there may be some residual "other person's funk" left in the fabric.
Title: Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
Post by: courtsmad25 on October 07, 2013, 12:15:11 PM
Some people have a real problem with wearing used clothing - as if you're going to pick up something nasty.  Unless you're in the habit of keeping clothes you find behind dumpsters, however, that shouldn't be a problem!  Clothes can be washed, after all.  I LOVE thrift stores and consignment stores.

I remember Amy whatsername (argh - what was her name?  The lady with the cheapskate blog?) having an argument with someone about buying clothes from thrift stores.   Amy said innocently "You stay in hotels, don't you?"  "Yes."  "Ewww!" said Amy, very tongue-in-cheek, "you mean you sleep in sheets that someone else slept in?"  "That's not the same thing!   They wash those sheets!"   "Yes, and I wash the clothes I buy.  It's exactly the same thing."

Amy Dacyzyn.  ;)

I completely <3 her books, even if they are a little old now. OP, once you get the dress tailored to your body, she will never ever know the difference.. good luck to you
Title: Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
Post by: Lillie82 on October 16, 2013, 09:47:00 PM
Her response is that money isn't an issue for me like some of the other girls, so I have no excuse to not pay full price for my dress.

Woaah! If she gives you that line again, use the next EHell phrase (which you can save in your pockets - yay for pockets, I never carry a purse) and say "What an interesting assumption!"

Good for you for getting the dress at Goodwill! What a find! Glad that K is rational and reasonable and not a bridezilla. And good for you for using your EHell phrase "I'm afraid that won't be possible."

I think I'm going to have to start using that a lot more often with her! This isn't the first reference she's made to how much money I make/have, usually I just ignore it, my mom drilled it into my head that the easiest way to tell who has no money is to see who talks about it the most, so just keep your lips zipped. It really is none of her business, she knows the field I work in and knows partner and I live debt free, so she's able to deduce that between the two of us we have a decent bank account, but again...not her money, not her business (even my own mother stays out of my money).



This post was reminding me of the Dave Ramsey show even before I saw the bolded!

I've tried to argue with family members that it's not necessary to go out and buy something new for family weddings, or for my dad's companies events. That it's ok to wear something you've worn before.
Title: Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
Post by: GlitterIsMyDrug on October 17, 2013, 06:35:03 PM
Her response is that money isn't an issue for me like some of the other girls, so I have no excuse to not pay full price for my dress.

Woaah! If she gives you that line again, use the next EHell phrase (which you can save in your pockets - yay for pockets, I never carry a purse) and say "What an interesting assumption!"

Good for you for getting the dress at Goodwill! What a find! Glad that K is rational and reasonable and not a bridezilla. And good for you for using your EHell phrase "I'm afraid that won't be possible."

I think I'm going to have to start using that a lot more often with her! This isn't the first reference she's made to how much money I make/have, usually I just ignore it, my mom drilled it into my head that the easiest way to tell who has no money is to see who talks about it the most, so just keep your lips zipped. It really is none of her business, she knows the field I work in and knows partner and I live debt free, so she's able to deduce that between the two of us we have a decent bank account, but again...not her money, not her business (even my own mother stays out of my money).



This post was reminding me of the Dave Ramsey show even before I saw the bolded!

I've tried to argue with family members that it's not necessary to go out and buy something new for family weddings, or for my dad's companies events. That it's ok to wear something you've worn before.

I just had that very disscussion with a friend who was upset she was going to have to wear the same dress she wore to a friend's wedding (a few months ago) to the same friend's cocktail party. I told her "Michelle Obama does and so does Kate Middleton, are you honestly fancier then then the first lady or a princess?", she calmed right down.

When I graduated high school my grandpa decided to give me an entire Dave Ramsey set (book, cds, whole package thing). I was always careful with saving money, but boy that was an awesome graduation gift. I have friends who seriously cannot wrap their heads around the idea that I have no debt and that I only have one credit card (I use it for automatic bill payments). But what if you want something but don't have the money? Easy, I save up. Then I get to have it. And if I forget about it before I saved up the money (or I'm not willing to wait to save up money) clearly it's not something I really want.
Title: Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
Post by: Diane AKA Traska on October 17, 2013, 06:55:49 PM
Her response is that money isn't an issue for me like some of the other girls, so I have no excuse to not pay full price for my dress.

Woaah! If she gives you that line again, use the next EHell phrase (which you can save in your pockets - yay for pockets, I never carry a purse) and say "What an interesting assumption!"

Good for you for getting the dress at Goodwill! What a find! Glad that K is rational and reasonable and not a bridezilla. And good for you for using your EHell phrase "I'm afraid that won't be possible."

What I would have said is "and now you know precisely *why*.  I can get the same exact things for less money, so I have more to spend."
Title: Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
Post by: FauxFoodist on October 23, 2013, 07:40:41 PM
Her response is that money isn't an issue for me like some of the other girls, so I have no excuse to not pay full price for my dress.

Woaah! If she gives you that line again, use the next EHell phrase (which you can save in your pockets - yay for pockets, I never carry a purse) and say "What an interesting assumption!"

Good for you for getting the dress at Goodwill! What a find! Glad that K is rational and reasonable and not a bridezilla. And good for you for using your EHell phrase "I'm afraid that won't be possible."

I think I'm going to have to start using that a lot more often with her! This isn't the first reference she's made to how much money I make/have, usually I just ignore it, my mom drilled it into my head that the easiest way to tell who has no money is to see who talks about it the most, so just keep your lips zipped. It really is none of her business, she knows the field I work in and knows partner and I live debt free, so she's able to deduce that between the two of us we have a decent bank account, but again...not her money, not her business (even my own mother stays out of my money).



This post was reminding me of the Dave Ramsey show even before I saw the bolded!

I've tried to argue with family members that it's not necessary to go out and buy something new for family weddings, or for my dad's companies events. That it's ok to wear something you've worn before.

I just had that very disscussion with a friend who was upset she was going to have to wear the same dress she wore to a friend's wedding (a few months ago) to the same friend's cocktail party. I told her "Michelle Obama does and so does Kate Middleton, are you honestly fancier then then the first lady or a princess?", she calmed right down.

When I graduated high school my grandpa decided to give me an entire Dave Ramsey set (book, cds, whole package thing). I was always careful with saving money, but boy that was an awesome graduation gift. I have friends who seriously cannot wrap their heads around the idea that I have no debt and that I only have one credit card (I use it for automatic bill payments). But what if you want something but don't have the money? Easy, I save up. Then I get to have it. And if I forget about it before I saved up the money (or I'm not willing to wait to save up money) clearly it's not something I really want.

AND Kate Middleton did her own makeup for her wedding (as did I)! : )

Kudos to you for living debt-free!  That's our goal eventually but, with a mortgage, it's just not possible for a few decades (which I'm okay with since, otherwise, we'd be paying rent somewhere).
Title: Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
Post by: heartmug on October 28, 2013, 06:19:12 PM
My sister-in-law could not believe my sister and I each did our own make-up for our own weddings.  I just never thought of it as a big deal.

And to the OP, great for you for finding SUCH a bargain!
Title: Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
Post by: carol1412 on October 29, 2013, 11:13:07 AM
Her response is that money isn't an issue for me like some of the other girls, so I have no excuse to not pay full price for my dress.

Woaah! If she gives you that line again, use the next EHell phrase (which you can save in your pockets - yay for pockets, I never carry a purse) and say "What an interesting assumption!"

Good for you for getting the dress at Goodwill! What a find! Glad that K is rational and reasonable and not a bridezilla. And good for you for using your EHell phrase "I'm afraid that won't be possible."

I think I'm going to have to start using that a lot more often with her! This isn't the first reference she's made to how much money I make/have, usually I just ignore it, my mom drilled it into my head that the easiest way to tell who has no money is to see who talks about it the most, so just keep your lips zipped. It really is none of her business, she knows the field I work in and knows partner and I live debt free, so she's able to deduce that between the two of us we have a decent bank account, but again...not her money, not her business (even my own mother stays out of my money).



This post was reminding me of the Dave Ramsey show even before I saw the bolded!

I've tried to argue with family members that it's not necessary to go out and buy something new for family weddings, or for my dad's companies events. That it's ok to wear something you've worn before.

I just had that very disscussion with a friend who was upset she was going to have to wear the same dress she wore to a friend's wedding (a few months ago) to the same friend's cocktail party. I told her "Michelle Obama does and so does Kate Middleton, are you honestly fancier then then the first lady or a princess?", she calmed right down.

When I graduated high school my grandpa decided to give me an entire Dave Ramsey set (book, cds, whole package thing). I was always careful with saving money, but boy that was an awesome graduation gift. I have friends who seriously cannot wrap their heads around the idea that I have no debt and that I only have one credit card (I use it for automatic bill payments). But what if you want something but don't have the money? Easy, I save up. Then I get to have it. And if I forget about it before I saved up the money (or I'm not willing to wait to save up money) clearly it's not something I really want.

AND Kate Middleton did her own makeup for her wedding (as did I)! : )

Kudos to you for living debt-free!  That's our goal eventually but, with a mortgage, it's just not possible for a few decades (which I'm okay with since, otherwise, we'd be paying rent somewhere).

Well, Kate is a duchess rather than a princess. That's probably why she had to do her own makeup.  A real princess would have her makeup done by the bluebirds and kitchen mice!  ;)
Title: Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
Post by: Jones on October 29, 2013, 11:17:33 AM
Glitter , I must ask; is this the same MOB who requested you and your partner not act like partners at the bridal shower? Curious mind here.
Title: Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
Post by: GlitterIsMyDrug on October 29, 2013, 11:29:11 AM
Glitter , I must ask; is this the same MOB who requested you and your partner not act like partners at the bridal shower? Curious mind here.

Nope, two seperate weddings. I'm not in the wedding party for bridal shower mom. I think I know at least...5 different couples getting married within the next 6 months (we're all in our late twenties now which seems to be the "everyone get married!" time).
Title: Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
Post by: Lillie82 on October 29, 2013, 07:24:01 PM
Her response is that money isn't an issue for me like some of the other girls, so I have no excuse to not pay full price for my dress.

Woaah! If she gives you that line again, use the next EHell phrase (which you can save in your pockets - yay for pockets, I never carry a purse) and say "What an interesting assumption!"

Good for you for getting the dress at Goodwill! What a find! Glad that K is rational and reasonable and not a bridezilla. And good for you for using your EHell phrase "I'm afraid that won't be possible."

I think I'm going to have to start using that a lot more often with her! This isn't the first reference she's made to how much money I make/have, usually I just ignore it, my mom drilled it into my head that the easiest way to tell who has no money is to see who talks about it the most, so just keep your lips zipped. It really is none of her business, she knows the field I work in and knows partner and I live debt free, so she's able to deduce that between the two of us we have a decent bank account, but again...not her money, not her business (even my own mother stays out of my money).



This post was reminding me of the Dave Ramsey show even before I saw the bolded!

I've tried to argue with family members that it's not necessary to go out and buy something new for family weddings, or for my dad's companies events. That it's ok to wear something you've worn before.

I just had that very disscussion with a friend who was upset she was going to have to wear the same dress she wore to a friend's wedding (a few months ago) to the same friend's cocktail party. I told her "Michelle Obama does and so does Kate Middleton, are you honestly fancier then then the first lady or a princess?", she calmed right down.

When I graduated high school my grandpa decided to give me an entire Dave Ramsey set (book, cds, whole package thing). I was always careful with saving money, but boy that was an awesome graduation gift. I have friends who seriously cannot wrap their heads around the idea that I have no debt and that I only have one credit card (I use it for automatic bill payments). But what if you want something but don't have the money? Easy, I save up. Then I get to have it. And if I forget about it before I saved up the money (or I'm not willing to wait to save up money) clearly it's not something I really want.

Don't want to get too sidetracked, but I had the feeling someone who used the words "live debt-free" like that (besides actually pulling it off), must be at least something of a Ramsey fan.
Title: Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
Post by: JenJay on October 29, 2013, 08:18:46 PM

AND Kate Middleton did her own makeup for her wedding (as did I)! : )

Kudos to you for living debt-free!  That's our goal eventually but, with a mortgage, it's just not possible for a few decades (which I'm okay with since, otherwise, we'd be paying rent somewhere).

Well, Kate is a duchess rather than a princess. That's probably why she had to do her own makeup.  A real princess would have her makeup done by the bluebirds and kitchen mice!  ;)

 ;D
Title: Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
Post by: starry diadem on October 30, 2013, 01:44:53 AM

Well, Kate is a duchess rather than a princess. That's probably why she had to do her own makeup.  A real princess would have her makeup done by the bluebirds and kitchen mice!  ;)


Well, a royal duchess is a cut above the ordinary kind. Still a royal highness, so maybe the Palace should have sent her the kitchen mice, at least.
Title: Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less? *Update #55*
Post by: GlitterIsMyDrug on December 16, 2013, 11:38:09 AM
So, a little update. The wedding isn't until March, but boy has it been a fun ride so far! MOB has completely forgotten about my used dress. Because there are much much bigger problems. Mainly another bridesmaid who...got...PREGNANT! She announced her pregnancy early last month (or maybe end of October? I honestly can't remember) and she's already starting to show, she's due in late May, so at a March wedding, you bet your bippy she's gonna be showing. Big time.

Bride was totally cool, the dresses we have aren't very forgiving to a growing baby bump, so she suggested to pregnant bridesmaid, she go ahead and pick something similar in style/color that will accommodate her bump. And also to let her know if closer to the wedding she'd prefer to sit out or maybe sit down during the ceremony, if she felt like she needed too. She was very reassuring saying "I'm not kicking you out of my wedding, not at all! I just want you to do what makes you comfortable, you're bring a human into the world, that's pretty important".

MOB on the other hand, went a bit nutty. It's not actually that she's pregnant, MOB is able to see that our lives don't stop turning her for her daughter's wedding, it's that she's pregnant and not married. And what will people think. She's not with the father either and is planning on attending the wedding by herself. And well MOB is Mrs "What will people think!", it's 2013, they're thinking nothing. This is hardly shocking anymore. She tried asking me if I had new any nice men who could accompany her so people wouldn't ask, or if she'd be willing to wear a fake ring and tell people her husband was "away", both  we're answered with "No" (in that, are you crazy? tone). So now MOB is wringing her hands over this very worried what people will think.

The upside, this is much bigger to focus on then flowers, dresses, or why they aren't picking more expensive things. So HC is able to do whatever they darn well please while MOB frets over the unwed pregnant girl. Though she is concerned about me and Partner wearing our engagement rings because she isn't sure how she'll explain us to her friends. Bride told her "Mom, just tell them they're just like Portia and Ellen, your friends like Portia and Ellen", and that quieted her down for a while at least.
Title: Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
Post by: Danika on December 16, 2013, 02:04:19 PM
Crazy drama! And even if guests cared about unwed mothers or same-sex partners, I don't even know if that would come up in conversation. There's so much going on during a wedding. People chit-chat and they don't always have their significant others standing right next to them. Guests are walking around, eating, socializing, dancing.

I imagine the only true conversations that happen are at the dinner table. And it's highly likely that the unwed pregnant lady and you will be at the same table as the bride, so you all know each others' stories anyway.

The MOB should be glad that you two are in the bridal party so that you're not, you know, Heaven forbid (sarcasm) sitting and mingling in with the general crowd!
Title: Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
Post by: Marbles on January 15, 2014, 11:34:18 PM
That poor MOB. It must be really difficult living in her head with all the worrying about what other people will think [about her]. It's a shame that she can't see that no one is going to judge her for the choices her daughter's friends make.
Title: Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
Post by: Mel the Redcap on January 16, 2014, 01:59:28 AM
/facepalm

Oh Noes! The Horror! ::)

If the MOB's friends are like her, maybe they will be thinking scandalised thoughts... and that will be entirely their own problem. :P Maybe tell her that if she doesn't actually tell anyone what's 'wrong', they probably won't notice?
Title: Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
Post by: Marozia on January 30, 2014, 01:34:16 AM
I can't believe K's mum was upset over a dress that you'll only wear once!
Why would it matter to her whether the dress came from goodwill or the bridal shop, as long as it's clean and the exact style, who cares!
Title: Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
Post by: luvmyboys on February 07, 2014, 07:40:10 PM
Good for you OP!   I bought my wedding dress at a thrift store.  Can't see spending a ton on something I would only wear once.  That Mom should have kept her high maintenance issues to herself!
Title: Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
Post by: GlitterIsMyDrug on March 19, 2014, 02:15:13 PM
So the wedding was this weekend. I'm not sure what was up with MOB, but she was super relaxed and friendly. Complimented my dress, very chill. At the reception she even took a spin on the dance floor with Partner!

Pregnant friend was in fact showing at the wedding. And her and bride had picked a lovely dress that allowed bump space and coordinated with ours. MOB told her she was glowing and asked lots of questions about how she was doing and if she was excited to be a mom. All upbeat happy questions, not prying noisy questions.

There were a few confused friends of MOB about us being engaged. Nothing rude, mostly "But...you're both women? Engaged to each other...?" and yes the "Like Portia and Ellen" trick did work! I'm gonna remember that in the future. After that was cleared up everyone was perfectly polite and wished us well.

Over all, nothing caught fire, no one got in a fist fight, the cops weren't called, and I only saw one girl in the bathroom crying. And she was 3. So in my book, excellent wedding!

There was an open bar. I'm think that might have contributed to MOB's high spirits for the night.
Title: Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
Post by: Goosey on March 19, 2014, 03:36:25 PM
Glad everything went smoothly! I don't know how someone can be confused about two people of the same gender being engaged in this day and age.

P.S. I thought you got married? Was it in the Valentine's thread or am I misremembering?
Title: Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
Post by: GlitterIsMyDrug on March 19, 2014, 03:40:12 PM
I think we might have been the first lesbians they met....not sure how that happens but it does! They were all very sweet about it though.

We got legally married, we're still having our big to-do wedding next year. And while we aren't hiding the fact we're married, we haven't really announced it either. So we still call ourselves engaged.
Title: Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
Post by: VorFemme on March 19, 2014, 03:42:23 PM
Glad everything went smoothly! I don't know how someone can be confused about two people of the same gender being engaged in this day and age.

P.S. I thought you got married? Was it in the Valentine's thread or am I misremembering?

That was the legal set up in the area of an elderly relative who could not travel (no public reception) - this was a public announcement of their intentions....

Not that common in their area - but not uncommon for their situation.
Title: Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
Post by: Kiwichick on March 19, 2014, 04:13:41 PM
Glad everything went smoothly! I don't know how someone can be confused about two people of the same gender being engaged in this day and age.

P.S. I thought you got married? Was it in the Valentine's thread or am I misremembering?

That was the legal set up in the area of an elderly relative who could not travel (no public reception) - this was a public announcement of their intentions....

Not that common in their area - but not uncommon for their situation.

You must be thinking of another poster.  Glitter's partner planned and executed the perfect small wedding around Valentines day.

Glitter posted about it at the time, I remember because I thought her partner sounded so sweet and I was amazed the friends and family managed to keep the secret.

'It'd been Partner's plan all along, so that my great-uncle could see me get married (since we aren't sure he'll still be with us next year), and she clued me in the morning we were leaving. She'd gotten her siblings to meet us out there with her mom, and my two best friends as well, my mom was already coming and my grandparents were already out there. Honestly, it was perfect. And we went out to eat at this Jewish deli afterwards, we had the brisket.'
Title: Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
Post by: VorFemme on March 19, 2014, 08:05:12 PM
Glad everything went smoothly! I don't know how someone can be confused about two people of the same gender being engaged in this day and age.

P.S. I thought you got married? Was it in the Valentine's thread or am I misremembering?

That was the legal set up in the area of an elderly relative who could not travel (no public reception) - this was a public announcement of their intentions....

Not that common in their area - but not uncommon for their situation.

You must be thinking of another poster.  Glitter's partner planned and executed the perfect small wedding around Valentines day.

Glitter posted about it at the time, I remember because I thought her partner sounded so sweet and I was amazed the friends and family managed to keep the secret.

'It'd been Partner's plan all along, so that my great-uncle could see me get married (since we aren't sure he'll still be with us next year), and she clued me in the morning we were leaving. She'd gotten her siblings to meet us out there with her mom, and my two best friends as well, my mom was already coming and my grandparents were already out there. Honestly, it was perfect. And we went out to eat at this Jewish deli afterwards, we had the brisket.'

I had about six hours of sleep last night - so my brain may indeed be mixing up several different eHellions into one event.  No more caffeine with my evening meal...I'm not young enough to get by on six hours of sleep and the promise of more sleep "later".  I need my sleep on time...or possibly a little extra...

I just have an easy time getting to bed more than eight hours before the alarm clock goes off at 6 am.  I've been a night owl since I was six years old or so and becoming a lark at this date...would be unexpected.