Etiquette Hell

Etiquette School is in session! => "So kind of you to take an interest." => Topic started by: TeraNova15 on September 17, 2013, 01:23:13 PM

Title: Exercise & Pregnancy
Post by: TeraNova15 on September 17, 2013, 01:23:13 PM
BG: This past week I made it publically known that I am expecting! I am almost 14 weeks in and have been feeling about as "normal" as you can imagine. I've had no symptoms other than a little tiredness and all the tests and markers and whatnot have indicated things are going along swimmingly. I also have, for many years, taken some pretty rigourous exercise classes at my gym, which is part of my workplace. My typical week consists, Mon-Fri of Cycling, BootCamp, Zumba, Crossfit, Yoga, and then I will usually do some light ellitpical work on Sat.  When I got pregnant I sat with my doctor and, while she gave me some restictions regarding weight lifting and abdomen compressing movements after 12 weeks, was told that I can continue doing whatever intensity I feel comfortable with and just to watch for any signs I need to stop. The heath professionals at my gym are also amazing and let me borrow a heart rate monitor for classes to make sure I'm not over exerting. I have also talked to a long time friend who is a personal trainer, and has worked with pregnant women before, and gotten some tips from her as well. All of them have commended my efforts to stay as fit and active as possible.

So today at the gym the word is apparently spreading and I've gotten several congratulations. One lady, however pulls me aside (you can probably guess where this is going).  She expressed her "concern" that I was taking BootCamp today, and that pregnant women "need their rest" and I would going to"stress the baby" and that I shouldn't "take [my] blessing for granted just because [I am] feeling well" and that I "should just take the opportunity to get fat."  As she talked I could just feel my head tilting to the side in disbelief. I barely know this woman, I couldn't even tell you her last name! Part of me just wanted to say "Who the bleeping bleep do you think you are!?" Instead I just let her talk, righted my head, said "Thank you for you opinion" and walked away.

Thank you E-Hell, for giving me the tools to deal with this.
Title: Re: Exercise & Pregnancy
Post by: cwm on September 17, 2013, 01:25:34 PM
First of all, congrats for the forthcoming new addition!

Secondly, congrats for the shiny polite spine!

I've never had a kid, and even I know there will always be people trying to tell you waht to do. Keep this phrase on standby, chances are good you'll need it quite a bit before the little one actually gets here.
Title: Re: Exercise & Pregnancy
Post by: TurtleDove on September 17, 2013, 01:30:06 PM
You handled that well.  Congratulations on your pregnancy!  So many people have no idea what they are talking about.  My doctor approved my vigorous exercise while pregnant and actually said it contributed to an easy delivery. 
Title: Re: Exercise & Pregnancy
Post by: menley on September 17, 2013, 01:32:24 PM
Oh wow! I can't imagine what would make her say it in that way.

I do wonder though - obviously this was not the right approach, as the woman barely knows you and said a whole host of judgmental things. But I have to admit that I've had friends who have done "bootcamp" classes and they're always talking about how strenuous it is and how they're "CRUD MONKEYS! totally destroyed" after each class. If a friend told me she was pregnant and then mentioned that she was continuing to take those classes, I might be concerned for her and ask her if she'd checked with her doctor. Is that totally rude of me?
Title: Re: Exercise & Pregnancy
Post by: TurtleDove on September 17, 2013, 01:36:48 PM
Oh wow! I can't imagine what would make her say it in that way.

I do wonder though - obviously this was not the right approach, as the woman barely knows you and said a whole host of judgmental things. But I have to admit that I've had friends who have done "bootcamp" classes and they're always talking about how strenuous it is and how they're "CRUD MONKEYS! totally destroyed" after each class. If a friend told me she was pregnant and then mentioned that she was continuing to take those classes, I might be concerned for her and ask her if she'd checked with her doctor. Is that totally rude of me?

In my opinion, yes, it is.  If your friend had been sedentary and suddenly decided to start taking bootcamp classes, you might have reason to be concerned.  But otherwise, absolutely rude.  Being pregnant does not equal being sick or somehow disabled. If you had said this to me I would have laughed and told you you didn't know what you were talking about.  Assuming your friend is receiving prenatal care, her doctor is aware of her activity levels and it is rude and very misinformed to insinuate she is doing something wrong by continuing her exercise program.
Title: Re: Exercise & Pregnancy
Post by: Redneck Gravy on September 17, 2013, 01:43:21 PM
Why does the public think it is okay to question and/or comment on pregnant women?

I played tennis until I was about 7 months pregnant and golf until two weeks before DD#2 was born.  I also swam almost every day while pregnant with DD#1 (although I actually hate water activities) because it was so blooming hot.

EVERYONE had some comment to make and I mean everyone - the new neighbors, the postman, the UPS driver, my mom, his mom, our dads, sisters, brothers and at least every other cousin. 

"My doctor has approved this exercise for me at this time" was my best answer.
Title: Re: Exercise & Pregnancy
Post by: TeraNova15 on September 17, 2013, 01:48:50 PM
Oh wow! I can't imagine what would make her say it in that way.

I do wonder though - obviously this was not the right approach, as the woman barely knows you and said a whole host of judgmental things. But I have to admit that I've had friends who have done "bootcamp" classes and they're always talking about how strenuous it is and how they're "CRUD MONKEYS! totally destroyed" after each class. If a friend told me she was pregnant and then mentioned that she was continuing to take those classes, I might be concerned for her and ask her if she'd checked with her doctor. Is that totally rude of me?

I think is a perfectly legit question for one *close* friend to ask another out of concern, and I had a much closer friend male and does Crossfit express surprise that I was able to continue. But the question was asked politely. I'm personally finding with these classes that the trick is to stay within my comfort zone, rather than try to push past my comfort zone like I would have pre-pregnancy. I'm trying to maintain fitness rather than improve it, if that makes sense?

But yes, her presentation (and bizzare lecture?) was way over the top. She's an older lady, and I'm in an odd situation at work becaue my parents worked at the same office for many years. She is a woman I know I met as a child but I don't personally know her that well outside of the occasional hello at the gym. I know people sometimes have their own hangups about pregancy based on their own experiances, so maybe there's a story there I don't know. But still, what the heck?
Title: Re: Exercise & Pregnancy
Post by: Deetee on September 17, 2013, 02:03:30 PM
I will say that my first pregnancy where I was fit and spry and lifting weights until into the third trimester and swimming the morning of the day I went into labour was much easier than my second where I was less fit when I started and barely walking near the end.

So I applaud your efforts. Your body is used to this exercise so keeping it up is great (as long as your doctor is on board and you listen to your body- I have read an interesting theory that our body can only operate at 2/2.5 times the base metabolic rate and that the third trimester gets close). Personally, I found in my first that I could keep my energy and fitness up as long as I got waaay more sleep than I needed when not pregnant.

That woman is so out of line, she has lost sight of it. Good response.
Title: Re: Exercise & Pregnancy
Post by: EllenS on September 17, 2013, 02:42:10 PM
I certainly understand the impulse for people to comment on, (or want to touch) pregnant women and their bellies - it is a very primal thing, going back to the perpetuation of the species/tribe.

However, like many other impulses that bubble up from our mammal brains, this is one that should be strictly curbed.
Title: Re: Exercise & Pregnancy
Post by: BeagleMommy on September 17, 2013, 02:52:10 PM
This woman was very rude.  I'm guessing, since you mention she was an older lady, that she was going by the advice given in her generation that pregnant women had to be "confined" and do little to nothing.  Times have certainly changed.

I had the opposite reaction from a complete stranger.  Since I had never exercised prior to becoming pregnant and was considered high risk I was told not to exercise beyond walking or light swimming.  I was discussing my pregnancy with a coworker in the restroom when this complete stranger ran up and said:

"Have you gotten Famous Celebrity Pregnancy Workout video?"
Me:  No
Her:  Well, you NEED to or you'll NEVER lose the weight you're going to gain!

My response was not ehell approved.  I said "As if it were any of your business, but I'm a high risk pregnancy and I was told NOT to start an exercise regiment.  Happy, now?!".
Title: Re: Exercise & Pregnancy
Post by: Judah on September 17, 2013, 04:57:35 PM
Oh wow! I can't imagine what would make her say it in that way.

I do wonder though - obviously this was not the right approach, as the woman barely knows you and said a whole host of judgmental things. But I have to admit that I've had friends who have done "bootcamp" classes and they're always talking about how strenuous it is and how they're "CRUD MONKEYS! totally destroyed" after each class. If a friend told me she was pregnant and then mentioned that she was continuing to take those classes, I might be concerned for her and ask her if she'd checked with her doctor. Is that totally rude of me?

In my opinion, yes, it is.  If your friend had been sedentary and suddenly decided to start taking bootcamp classes, you might have reason to be concerned.  But otherwise, absolutely rude.  Being pregnant does not equal being sick or somehow disabled. If you had said this to me I would have laughed and told you you didn't know what you were talking about.  Assuming your friend is receiving prenatal care, her doctor is aware of her activity levels and it is rude and very misinformed to insinuate she is doing something wrong by continuing her exercise program.

I agree. Besides being rude, it's pretty patronizing.  I'm an adult, and perfectly capable of taking care of my own health. With my first pregnancy, though I was twenty-six, I looked sixteen and I guess my youthful appearance made strangers think I needed their input on my pregnancy, or their concern over my relationship with a man so much older than me.   ::)  DH is in fact younger than I am.  ::)  People really need to learn to mind their own business.
Title: Re: Exercise & Pregnancy
Post by: lilfox on September 17, 2013, 06:10:06 PM
I've had kind of the opposite problem from both OP and BeagleMommy - normally I am fairly active (no really consistent exercise pattern but I do things like jog, wakeboard, ski, etc).  But I have a jackrabbit heart, which means even when I'm in good cardiovascular shape, my HR is in the 180+ range during a typical jog.

So after some evaluations, I was strongly advised by my doctor to keep my HR below 160, which limits me to ... fast walking and slow swimming, pretty much. It's already frustrating to me since it took me a long time to get back into shape after I had DD.  And then I get comments about how I "should" keep up jogging, that it's okay for pregnant women to do so.  Yeah, I know, I have friends who were still doing 10k's til 7 or 8 months along (and that includes my doctor!).  But that level of exercise is not healthy for ME.

OP, you handled it well - about the only thing you can do in that situation, especially with a stranger, is not engage at all.
Title: Re: Exercise & Pregnancy
Post by: Jones on September 17, 2013, 07:29:04 PM
My coworker has a friend who is a female body builder. Bodybuilder just finished her first trimester, and due to a pre-scheduled competition, participated in said competition while a few weeks pregnant. Different people start out in different levels of fitness, it's really no one's business (aside from the mother, the father and the doctor) as to what a pregnant woman physically does while pregnant.

I, myself, during my second pregnancy, was irritated by coworkers who didn't allow me to carry my own computer around the office even though I was still capable of tossing hay bales on my weekends. I wasn't even "huge" yet...
Title: Re: Exercise & Pregnancy
Post by: Bluenomi on September 17, 2013, 07:41:29 PM
No matter what you do in pregnacy someone will think it is wrong and tell you about it. OP, you handled it very well!

I've been told my various people I need to excerise but since my OB prefers me not too (due to being high risk with twins and the fact I wasn't really doing any before I got pregnant) I'm not. I just cheerily respond 'Can't, doctor's orders!'

I had some random stranger go for a belly rub on the weekend, I had to take a quick step back to avoid that one!
Title: Re: Exercise & Pregnancy
Post by: menley on September 18, 2013, 02:35:55 AM
Oh wow! I can't imagine what would make her say it in that way.

I do wonder though - obviously this was not the right approach, as the woman barely knows you and said a whole host of judgmental things. But I have to admit that I've had friends who have done "bootcamp" classes and they're always talking about how strenuous it is and how they're "CRUD MONKEYS! totally destroyed" after each class. If a friend told me she was pregnant and then mentioned that she was continuing to take those classes, I might be concerned for her and ask her if she'd checked with her doctor. Is that totally rude of me?

In my opinion, yes, it is.  If your friend had been sedentary and suddenly decided to start taking bootcamp classes, you might have reason to be concerned.  But otherwise, absolutely rude.  Being pregnant does not equal being sick or somehow disabled. If you had said this to me I would have laughed and told you you didn't know what you were talking about.  Assuming your friend is receiving prenatal care, her doctor is aware of her activity levels and it is rude and very misinformed to insinuate she is doing something wrong by continuing her exercise program.

I agree. Besides being rude, it's pretty patronizing.  I'm an adult, and perfectly capable of taking care of my own health. With my first pregnancy, though I was twenty-six, I looked sixteen and I guess my youthful appearance made strangers think I needed their input on my pregnancy, or their concern over my relationship with a man so much older than me.   ::)  DH is in fact younger than I am.  ::)  People really need to learn to mind their own business.

Thanks for responding! I'm glad I haven't said anything like this yet... that I can remember... :) I definitely will stay quiet!
Title: Re: Exercise & Pregnancy
Post by: Outdoor Girl on September 18, 2013, 07:48:29 AM
OP, I think you did great.  I think I would have been much less polite, more in line with what you wanted to say.

I play softball.  The league I'm in used to have a rule that if you were pregnant, you couldn't play.  Liability issues, I think.  It was up to the umpires to police the rule.  Most of them were smart enough that unless they saw the baby crowning, they kept their yaps shut.  One guy?  Called a woman 'out' and removed her from the game when she came up to bat.  She wasn't pregnant.  And raised hell.  Needless to say, the rule was changed.  A friend of mine, due in December, played through August but felt too ungainly to play in September.  Another girl I knew was due around the same time and did play through September.
Title: Re: Exercise & Pregnancy
Post by: earthgirl on September 18, 2013, 09:12:11 AM
No matter what you do in pregnacy someone will think it is wrong and tell you about it.

Yep!

This drove me crazy throughout my pregnancy; from my SIL's fiance's mother (with whom I do not have a relationship) emailing me to tell me it was dangerous to take prescription medication (which was prescribed by my OB) during pregnancy, to a random stranger grabbing my wrist and physically stopping me from putting a crabcake appetizer in my mouth at a wedding and saying, "Are you sure you should be eating that?", it seemed like everybody had an opinion on what I should and shouldn't be doing, and felt that it was not only their right, but their duty, to tell me.  My MIL actually yelled at me for picking up an empty cardboard box at six months pregnant.

...and, I'm sorry to say, it doesn't stop when you give birth.  At least, not in my experience. 

Congratulations, OP!  What is right for you is up to you and your doctor, and nobody else. 


Title: Re: Exercise & Pregnancy
Post by: EllenS on September 18, 2013, 11:47:54 AM
I actually think that dealing with all this nonsense is excellent practice for dealing with the irrational, intrusive demands of toddlers.
Title: Re: Exercise & Pregnancy
Post by: Cami on September 18, 2013, 01:21:19 PM
Congrats on your pregnancy!

Welcome to the brave new world in which your body is now considered public property. Sigh.  BTDT, have the tee-shirt.  Also make room for the tee-shirts you'll acquire after you have the baby and people will give you "helpful" comments on your parenting.
Title: Re: Exercise & Pregnancy
Post by: JoW on September 18, 2013, 07:57:53 PM
About 3 weeks ago I took a water aerobics class with a woman who was 5 days PAST her due date.  She did fine.

The way I see it the health of the mother to be and her doctor make all of the mother-to-be's health related decisions.  The rest of us need to stay out of it.
Title: Re: Exercise & Pregnancy
Post by: Paper Roses on September 18, 2013, 08:15:01 PM
There was a woman who used to come to my gym and swim in the pool every day.  Bless her, she looked like she was about to deliver at any moment, but to be fair, that could have been just because the rest of her body was very slim, and also in a bathing suit, so her pregnat belly was that much more accentuated. 

Anyway, I was talking with her one day and she said she had "about 2 more weeks" to go.  I saw her a couple of days later taking her regular swim.  After she got out of the pool, another woman turned to me and made some comment about her being "ready to pop."  So I said that she'd told me she had a couple of weeks to go.  Then some guy says, "She said it was a couple of weeks a couple of weeks ago!  She makes me nervous!" 

I so wanted to ask why - I mean, seriously?  First of all, the real world isn't TV - very few women go into labor and deliver on the spot.  Secondly, I think assuming that the woman doesn't know what she's doing is pretty rude, and insulting.  If someone has to make an assumption, why not assume that she and her doctor both know what she's doing and are ok with it?
Title: Re: Exercise & Pregnancy
Post by: earthgirl on September 19, 2013, 07:36:05 AM
Then some guy says, "She said it was a couple of weeks a couple of weeks ago!  She makes me nervous!" 

I so wanted to ask why - I mean, seriously?  First of all, the real world isn't TV - very few women go into labor and deliver on the spot.

In the week before I delivered, I had no less than three people (women, to boot) tell me that I shouldn't be out in public.  One cashier actually said, nervously, "They don't usually...let women...walk around like that." FTR, I was enormous, but was still able to move around relatively easily, nothing that (in my opinion) would have indicated that I shouldn't be walking around.  Not sure if they thought they were going to be roped into singlehandedly delivering my baby for me, or what.

After the third such comment in so many days ("What are you doing out and about?  You should be home in bed!") I lost patience and told her that what I had wasn't contagious. 
Title: Re: Exercise & Pregnancy
Post by: TeraNova15 on September 19, 2013, 09:49:50 AM
Congrats on your pregnancy!

Welcome to the brave new world in which your body is now considered public property. Sigh.  BTDT, have the tee-shirt.  Also make room for the tee-shirts you'll acquire after you have the baby and people will give you "helpful" comments on your parenting.

This was actually one of the reasons that I was less than enthusiastic about announcing my pregnancy. I am a  nearly obsessive compulsive when it comes to research and fact checking, so the moment I found out I was expecting I started trying to educate myself separating what is fact/fiction/pure sanctimommy. Anyone who does know me well may ask me a question, but I feel like the concern may also be termpered with a desire to self educate? Like my friend who does Crossfit who asked if it was still safe for me, I got the impression that he wasn't asking because he though I was careless, more that he's recently married and really wanted to know.

Of course I still have my mother who is all "Is DH cleaning out the little box now? Did you just color your hair? That egg looks a little runny!" But mothers get leeway  :)

Thanks E-hellions! Are there any other phrases you needed to add to your daily usage or unexpected rudeness regarding your pregancy that I should steel myself for?
Title: Re: Exercise & Pregnancy
Post by: MrsJWine on September 19, 2013, 09:54:54 AM
My very favorite thing about this mindset is that lifting a weight or an empty box is a terrible risk, but if you're lugging around an older child through pregnancy, that's totally okay.
Title: Re: Exercise & Pregnancy
Post by: BeagleMommy on September 19, 2013, 10:13:52 AM
Congrats on your pregnancy!

Welcome to the brave new world in which your body is now considered public property. Sigh.  BTDT, have the tee-shirt.  Also make room for the tee-shirts you'll acquire after you have the baby and people will give you "helpful" comments on your parenting.

This was actually one of the reasons that I was less than enthusiastic about announcing my pregnancy. I am a  nearly obsessive compulsive when it comes to research and fact checking, so the moment I found out I was expecting I started trying to educate myself separating what is fact/fiction/pure sanctimommy. Anyone who does know me well may ask me a question, but I feel like the concern may also be termpered with a desire to self educate? Like my friend who does Crossfit who asked if it was still safe for me, I got the impression that he wasn't asking because he though I was careless, more that he's recently married and really wanted to know.

Of course I still have my mother who is all "Is DH cleaning out the little box now? Did you just color your hair? That egg looks a little runny!" But mothers get leeway  :)

Thanks E-hellions! Are there any other phrases you needed to add to your daily usage or unexpected rudeness regarding your pregancy that I should steel myself for?

I would use "I'll give that all the consideration it deserves."  You will get advice on everything.  Trust your instincts.
Title: Re: Exercise & Pregnancy
Post by: Minmom3 on September 19, 2013, 11:44:13 AM
My very favorite thing about this mindset is that lifting a weight or an empty box is a terrible risk, but if you're lugging around an older child through pregnancy, that's totally okay.

So VERY true.....
Title: Re: Exercise & Pregnancy
Post by: Minmom3 on September 19, 2013, 11:55:34 AM
Clipped!

Of course I still have my mother who is all "Is DH cleaning out the little box now? Did you just color your hair? That egg looks a little runny!" But mothers get leeway  :)

Actually - cleaning out the litter box is NOT dangerous when you're pregnant.  There is just one rule to follow - Do it more than once a day!   ::)  This is because a) toxoplasmosis isn't dangerous to anybody until it sporulates, and it's doesn't sporulate until 24+ hours outside the body. (The faster I clean out the box, the faster the smell goes away.  I clean it out FAST...!!!)  b) Many indoor only cats never GET IT in the first place.  c) Even when a cat does get it, it only sheds for a very short time period.  d) One can avoid all the hand-to-mouth contamination danger by washing hands after cleaning out the box.  Well, duh, don't we ALL clean our hands after de-pooping the box?!   

A bigger danger than the household litter box is the public litter box (sandbox) which, not being an official litter box, never gets scooped out by its owner.  Anybody I knew when my children were small that had a sandbox had to put a hard cover on it to keep neighborhood cats out of it.
Title: Re: Exercise & Pregnancy
Post by: wolfie on September 19, 2013, 12:15:32 PM
Clipped!

Of course I still have my mother who is all "Is DH cleaning out the little box now? Did you just color your hair? That egg looks a little runny!" But mothers get leeway  :)

Actually - cleaning out the litter box is NOT dangerous when you're pregnant.  There is just one rule to follow - Do it more than once a day!   ::)  This is because a) toxoplasmosis isn't dangerous to anybody until it sporulates, and it's doesn't sporulate until 24+ hours outside the body. (The faster I clean out the box, the faster the smell goes away.  I clean it out FAST...!!!)  b) Many indoor only cats never GET IT in the first place.  c) Even when a cat does get it, it only sheds for a very short time period.  d) One can avoid all the hand-to-mouth contamination danger by washing hands after cleaning out the box.  Well, duh, don't we ALL clean our hands after de-pooping the box?!   

A bigger danger than the household litter box is the public litter box (sandbox) which, not being an official litter box, never gets scooped out by its owner.  Anybody I knew when my children were small that had a sandbox had to put a hard cover on it to keep neighborhood cats out of it.

Plus more people get Toxoplasmosis from not properly cleaned veggies then from a litterbox and once you have been exposed to it you develop the antibodies and as long as that first exposure isn't during pregnancy you are okay. If you are really worried you can have a doc do a check to see if you have already been exposed.
Title: Re: Exercise & Pregnancy
Post by: EllenS on September 19, 2013, 02:44:53 PM
I just try to maintain the perspective that, such questions/comments tell me more about that person and their life experiences, than about me and mine.  I find it enjoyable to turn the conversation to the asker's own kids/family.  A lot of this is motivated by people's own powerful emotional memories, and by letting them talk about that instead, it turns the attention away from me.

It doesn't make them any less rude, but it helps me not walk around feeling defensive.  If I can find a way to pull a warm fuzzy out of a situation, I will.
Title: Re: Exercise & Pregnancy
Post by: MrTango on September 19, 2013, 03:12:56 PM
Whenever someone tries to make invasive comments about my healthcare decisions, I really want to tell them "You are not my doctor, so I really don't give a rat's behind what you have to say about my health or well being."

Instead, when they push offer unwanted advice, I just say "no thanks" and continue doing whatever I was doing to begin with.  If they try to argue with me or demand to know why I'm not listening to their sage advice, I will be direct and tell them "You are not my doctor."  After that, I go into the mode of "not hearing" whatever they have to say on the subject.
Title: Re: Exercise & Pregnancy
Post by: Bluenomi on September 19, 2013, 06:54:24 PM
My very favorite thing about this mindset is that lifting a weight or an empty box is a terrible risk, but if you're lugging around an older child through pregnancy, that's totally okay.

Exactly! I can't possibly carry a 5kg bag of groceries but am fine to carry my wriggling 12kg 3 year old who decides to suddenly throw herself backwards so she can be upside down ::)
Title: Re: Exercise & Pregnancy
Post by: learningtofly on September 19, 2013, 10:27:04 PM
She actually told you to let yourself get fat  :o. I stopped Zumba when it started to feel weird. At a certain point jumping wasn't fun, but I didn't miss the burpees. However, I wish I had kept up my routine. Five years later I still have 20 lbs hanging around.

I had a friend who made the gym staff nervous. But she was only doing what she had done before she got pregnant. And at eight months she was in better shape than pre-pregnancy me. 

You can't win, but do what feels right to you and congrats!
Title: Re: Exercise & Pregnancy
Post by: menley on September 20, 2013, 08:42:07 AM
What a timely article!

http://shine.yahoo.com/healthy-living/should-pregnant-women-be-weightlifting---200459884.html
Title: Re: Exercise & Pregnancy
Post by: Jones on September 20, 2013, 08:45:02 AM
I was just coming here to post that same article! If someone feels that good at 8 months, good for her!
Title: Re: Exercise & Pregnancy
Post by: TeraNova15 on September 20, 2013, 09:27:45 AM
What a timely article!

http://shine.yahoo.com/healthy-living/should-pregnant-women-be-weightlifting---200459884.html

Hah! I just was just about to post Mommyish's take on this, and the posters so full of "concern"

http://www.mommyish.com/2013/09/20/pregnant-crossfit-lea-anne-ellison/
Title: Re: Exercise & Pregnancy
Post by: daen on September 20, 2013, 02:54:06 PM
May I just say I both love the word "sanctimommy" and deplore that anyone ever needed to coin it?
Title: Re: Exercise & Pregnancy
Post by: AvidReader on September 25, 2013, 04:52:39 PM
Congrats on your pregnancy and more power to you.  As long as you follow your doctor's advice regarding exercise at each stage (I remember my doctor telling me not to let my heart rate get above 144 bpm...I was a runner...so I had to pay attention and dial it back just a bit) keep going for as long as you are up for it. 

As for intrusive comments and lectures, "I'm closely following my doctor's advice, but thanks for your interest" and move on to the next event.  You make a reference to the higher authority (your doctor), who is presumably better informed on exercise and pregnancy than is the typical person on the street....or in the gym.
Title: Re: Exercise & Pregnancy
Post by: Pen^2 on September 26, 2013, 11:46:00 AM
As for intrusive comments and lectures, "I'm closely following my doctor's advice, but thanks for your interest" and move on to the next event.  You make a reference to the higher authority (your doctor), who is presumably better informed on exercise and pregnancy than is the typical person on the street....or in the gym.

This, the original, "Thank you for your opinion," and a few others people have suggested are fantastic. If I'm ever pregnant I'll memorise one and set it to automatic.

Honestly, the sheer amount of unwarranted advice and plain stupid things some people say to pregnant women...
Title: Re: Exercise & Pregnancy
Post by: GlitterIsMyDrug on September 26, 2013, 02:07:31 PM
No pregnancy/kids yet but I've got my line already for when "you shouldn't be doing blah, blah, blah". It's one I use all the time. "It's ok, I know what I'm doing. I'm a doctor", true not an MD, but I do have PhD after my name.

Amazingly no one has every asked to see my credentials or busted out medical questions on me so ya know...feel free to use it. ;)
Title: Re: Exercise & Pregnancy
Post by: lilfox on September 26, 2013, 03:23:58 PM
I have to deal with someone in my life who firmly believes that the more I exercise now (while pregnant), the healthier and more predisposed to exercise the baby will be after he's born.  As in, my workout somehow gives the fetus a workout and a healthy mindset.

Yeah, that's not how it works.  ::)  I have learned to just not respond at all beyond saying "Yep, exercise is a good thing." (FTR, this baby is FAR more active than I am, he never stops kicking and pushing and spinning around in there.)

Doesn't it seem like the most poorly informed people have the loudest opinions?
Title: Re: Exercise & Pregnancy
Post by: Elisabunny on September 26, 2013, 03:42:36 PM
I have to deal with someone in my life who firmly believes that the more I exercise now (while pregnant), the healthier and more predisposed to exercise the baby will be after he's born.  As in, my workout somehow gives the fetus a workout and a healthy mindset.

Yeah, that's not how it works.  ::)  I have learned to just not respond at all beyond saying "Yep, exercise is a good thing." (FTR, this baby is FAR more active than I am, he never stops kicking and pushing and spinning around in there.)

Doesn't it seem like the most poorly informed people have the loudest opinions?

Hey, he/she is right!  It says so right here in this book, Heredity and Pre-Natal Culture!  (Yes, it's a real book- I own a copy.  It was written in 1898.  ;D )
Title: Re: Exercise & Pregnancy
Post by: TurtleDove on September 26, 2013, 04:01:24 PM
I have to deal with someone in my life who firmly believes that the more I exercise now (while pregnant), the healthier and more predisposed to exercise the baby will be after he's born.  As in, my workout somehow gives the fetus a workout and a healthy mindset.

I always took this to mean that exercise is helpful to the mother to healthfully carry the pregnancy and recover after birth, helpful to the development of the baby in utero, helpful to delivery, and helpful to a child as she grows up if healthful exercise is modeled for her by her parents. More of a "nurture" than a "nature" argument.
Title: Re: Exercise & Pregnancy
Post by: lilfox on September 27, 2013, 01:35:44 PM
I have to deal with someone in my life who firmly believes that the more I exercise now (while pregnant), the healthier and more predisposed to exercise the baby will be after he's born.  As in, my workout somehow gives the fetus a workout and a healthy mindset.

I always took this to mean that exercise is helpful to the mother to healthfully carry the pregnancy and recover after birth, helpful to the development of the baby in utero, helpful to delivery, and helpful to a child as she grows up if healthful exercise is modeled for her by her parents. More of a "nurture" than a "nature" argument.

The nurture part, I totally agree with and that is something DH and I have been and will continue to instill in DD and future DS.  The issue with this person is that they don't acknowledge the primary benefit of exercise-during-pregnancy is to me, the pregnant one, and think I should be exercising more often and more strenuously, solely because it will make the baby "fitter," if that makes sense.  It's just far enough off the mark to be frustrating.
Title: Re: Exercise & Pregnancy
Post by: TurtleDove on September 27, 2013, 01:47:17 PM
Ah, yes, that is a bit strange.  Perhaps you should swallow barbell shaped foods so your baby can work on muscle tone!
Title: Re: Exercise & Pregnancy
Post by: alis on September 28, 2013, 06:39:46 AM
I did weightlifting straight through to 41 weeks with both pregnancies (yes, 41!) and I've heard it all. "Thanks for your opinion" is kind of you. I didn't try wasting my time trying to argue with people, I had a workout to deal with ;) Workouts, coffee, standing too long, lifting 5lbs (but nobody seems to want to help a pregnanat woman hauling a 40lb toddler), eh. I'm so glad I'm done having kids.

Good luck! I had two long difficult labours that did not end in C-section because of my physical fitness. That alone saved me! I have no regrets.
Title: Re: Exercise & Pregnancy
Post by: JoW on September 28, 2013, 01:40:59 PM
Two pregnant women joined my deep water aerobics class last Wednesday.  One of them, its obvious that she isn't due until spring.  The other, when you see her the first thing you think is "Crud monkeys.  I hope she doesn't go into labor in class." 

Both spoke to the instructor before class.  Both have doctors that don't object.  Deep water aerobics means your feet don't touch bottom.  We all wear flotation belts or ride "noodle" pool toys (floats 3" diameter, 5 feet long).  The pregnant women both rode noodles to avoid squashing their bellies. The really big one couldn't do water sit-ups because her belly got in the way.   They both did fine.  And both said they plan to come back.
Title: Re: Exercise & Pregnancy
Post by: Yvaine on September 28, 2013, 04:40:44 PM
Ah, yes, that is a bit strange.  Perhaps you should swallow barbell shaped foods so your baby can work on muscle tone!

Try new and improved Barbell-O's for a nutritious breakfast! Now with marshmallow water bottles.
Title: Re: Exercise & Pregnancy
Post by: TeraNova15 on September 30, 2013, 08:02:01 AM
Ah, yes, that is a bit strange.  Perhaps you should swallow barbell shaped foods so your baby can work on muscle tone!

Try new and improved Barbell-O's for a nutritious breakfast! Now with marshmallow water bottles.

I nearly spit out my coffee (and no, its not decaffeinated thankyewverimuch). ;D

Still going strong and apparently the only concern my doctor has is that I may not be getting enough calorie intake to offset the exercise. I'm taking this as a doctor approved perscription to eat more cake lol
Title: Re: Exercise & Pregnancy
Post by: cutejellybeen on September 30, 2013, 12:05:29 PM
OP I'm just jealous that you can make it to the gym!! I'm just early on (mid first trimester) and can barely get the energy to get to work everyday!! Walking from Car to office often makes me nauseous. I cant imagine doing a class.
Title: Re: Exercise & Pregnancy
Post by: Deetee on September 30, 2013, 10:41:55 PM
OP I'm just jealous that you can make it to the gym!! I'm just early on (mid first trimester) and can barely get the energy to get to work everyday!! Walking from Car to office often makes me nauseous. I cant imagine doing a class.

It is so variable. My first pregnancy I needed to nap but was still cheerfully going to gym for cardio and weights. With the second, I had days where the five block walk home almost destroyed me. I want nauseous per se but food was just icky.
Title: Re: Exercise & Pregnancy
Post by: cutejellybeen on October 01, 2013, 06:51:59 AM
OP I'm just jealous that you can make it to the gym!! I'm just early on (mid first trimester) and can barely get the energy to get to work everyday!! Walking from Car to office often makes me nauseous. I cant imagine doing a class.

It is so variable. My first pregnancy I needed to nap but was still cheerfully going to gym for cardio and weights. With the second, I had days where the five block walk home almost destroyed me. I want nauseous per se but food was just icky.

Thank you for making me feel better Deetee!! I'm just waiting to get through first trimester. I hear its better in the second lol
Title: Re: Exercise & Pregnancy
Post by: TeraNova15 on October 01, 2013, 08:32:09 AM
OP I'm just jealous that you can make it to the gym!! I'm just early on (mid first trimester) and can barely get the energy to get to work everyday!! Walking from Car to office often makes me nauseous. I cant imagine doing a class.

It is so variable. My first pregnancy I needed to nap but was still cheerfully going to gym for cardio and weights. With the second, I had days where the five block walk home almost destroyed me. I want nauseous per se but food was just icky.

Thank you for making me feel better Deetee!! I'm just waiting to get through first trimester. I hear its better in the second lol

Even I have bad days and good days. :-)  Just listen to your body, do what's right for you and ignore the busibodies!
Title: Re: Exercise & Pregnancy
Post by: Deetee on October 01, 2013, 08:44:42 PM
OP I'm just jealous that you can make it to the gym!! I'm just early on (mid first trimester) and can barely get the energy to get to work everyday!! Walking from Car to office often makes me nauseous. I cant imagine doing a class.

It is so variable. My first pregnancy I needed to nap but was still cheerfully going to gym for cardio and weights. With the second, I had days where the five block walk home almost destroyed me. I want nauseous per se but food was just icky.

Thank you for making me feel better Deetee!! I'm just waiting to get through first trimester. I hear its better in the second lol

Yes, the second is better. And it's well worth getting some exercise then. Swimming is so great as it's all the muscles and I think you start using different muscles when you are more pregnant. It also makes those last couple months less difficult if you are stronger in the rest of your body. And, as difficult as it is, it is easier (well less coordinating ) to excersise before the baby comes.
Title: Re: Exercise & Pregnancy
Post by: Gyburc on October 28, 2013, 07:21:14 AM
OP I'm just jealous that you can make it to the gym!! I'm just early on (mid first trimester) and can barely get the energy to get to work everyday!! Walking from Car to office often makes me nauseous. I cant imagine doing a class.

It is so variable. My first pregnancy I needed to nap but was still cheerfully going to gym for cardio and weights. With the second, I had days where the five block walk home almost destroyed me. I want nauseous per se but food was just icky.

Thank you for making me feel better Deetee!! I'm just waiting to get through first trimester. I hear its better in the second lol

Even I have bad days and good days. :-)  Just listen to your body, do what's right for you and ignore the busibodies!

Absolutely! I've now got just under two weeks to go (allegedly!) and have tried to keep reasonably active, even though I'm definitely not as fit as you, OP. I know when I've done too much, and just take it easier next day as far as possible.

All the very best to you!
Title: Re: Exercise & Pregnancy
Post by: MamaMootz on October 29, 2013, 06:39:51 PM
Just chiming in here - my boss just had a baby in May and she worked out up until she gave birth. I'm convinced that being that fit helped her with labor in a lot of ways. I worked out under doc supervision during my pregnancy as well, and I also think it prepared me in a lot of ways for labor (however, I ended up having a c-section, but I also think being fit helped me recuperate faster).

And everyone will have something to tell you about pregnancy and what you should or should not be doing ..... just do what is best for YOU and what your doc is OK with - and ignore everyone else.

At the beginning of my pregnancy, I had my ex-boss' wife go OFF on me for about 20 minutes about how awful I was for eating tuna fish. I ate a tuna fish sandwich and mentioned it in passing and she started screaming, "TUNA FISH????????!!!!!! YOU HAD TUNA FISH!!!!!!! Your baby is going to have MERCURY POISONING! YOU CAN'T EAT TUNA FISH!!!!!"

Ah.... good times. Congrats on the little one  :)
Title: Re: Exercise & Pregnancy
Post by: TeraNova15 on October 30, 2013, 09:46:06 AM
Just chiming in here - my boss just had a baby in May and she worked out up until she gave birth. I'm convinced that being that fit helped her with labor in a lot of ways. I worked out under doc supervision during my pregnancy as well, and I also think it prepared me in a lot of ways for labor (however, I ended up having a c-section, but I also think being fit helped me recuperate faster).

And everyone will have something to tell you about pregnancy and what you should or should not be doing ..... just do what is best for YOU and what your doc is OK with - and ignore everyone else.

At the beginning of my pregnancy, I had my ex-boss' wife go OFF on me for about 20 minutes about how awful I was for eating tuna fish. I ate a tuna fish sandwich and mentioned it in passing and she started screaming, "TUNA FISH????????!!!!!! YOU HAD TUNA FISH!!!!!!! Your baby is going to have MERCURY POISONING! YOU CAN'T EAT TUNA FISH!!!!!"

Ah.... good times. Congrats on the little one  :)

Oh goodness don't even get me started on people trying to monitor what I eat. Apparently eating preservative and sugar laden cookies and McDonald's Value meals is a-OK but even cooked sushi is the devil and I am going to kill the baby with cross contamination from parasites by just walking into a sushi place or something. Le sigh.