Etiquette Hell

General Etiquette => Life...in general => Topic started by: that_one_girl on September 20, 2013, 07:17:45 AM

Title: dealing with food-related comments
Post by: that_one_girl on September 20, 2013, 07:17:45 AM
I don't know if we already have a topic on this:

What is the polite response to comments someone makes about your food?
I moved to a rural area, so some of the things I eat are more exotic than most locals are used to.  It most often comes up when my coworker sees what I have prepared for lunch, something along the lines of vegetarian sushi or seaweed salad, and for some reason decides to say something like, "Eww! gross!"
I haven't offered to share it with them, tried to convince them they will like it, or anything of the sort.  I don't understand why they are compelled to comment.  There are things that I prefer not to eat, but I don't go around telling other people their food is gross.
Title: Re: dealing with food-related comments
Post by: Slartibartfast on September 20, 2013, 07:29:32 AM
I've used ". . . then you don't have to eat it!" as a gentle rebuke when someone takes an overly critical interest in my food.
Title: Re: dealing with food-related comments
Post by: siamesecat2965 on September 20, 2013, 07:46:52 AM
Crack them over their knuckles with a fork? Oops, sorry, evilsiamesecat has now been put back in her cage.

I hate that. I am kind of adventerous when it comes to food, and I've had that happen to me. I usually just go "mmmm or uh huh" and ignore. Its just rude. I don't mind if someone asks "oh, what do you have there, it looks interesting" as long as they aren't being rude, and are merely curious. 
Title: Re: dealing with food-related comments
Post by: camlan on September 20, 2013, 07:53:21 AM
I handle comments like that with a big smile, a shrug and "All the more for me!"

Sometimes I get, "You aren't going to *eat* that, are you?" To which I smile and reply, "Yep."

Title: Re: dealing with food-related comments
Post by: scotcat60 on September 20, 2013, 07:56:41 AM
I don't understand why they are compelled to comment.  There are things that I prefer not to eat, but I don't go around telling other people their food is gross.

Nor do I. But some people who have never seen such food, and do not understand why people eat it, are like the girls in "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" who giggle beecause Tula tells them she has brought in humus for lunch.It's wired into their brains to mock the unfamiliar.
I got this once when I had haggis for lunch, but a friend, who is a sensible girl asked "Is it nice?", so I gave her a piece and she said "Hey, I like haggis!"
Title: Re: dealing with food-related comments
Post by: bopper on September 20, 2013, 07:57:21 AM
"More for me!"
or
"And you are commenting on  my food because..."'
or
"Don't worry, I won't make you eat any."
or
"You said that out loud, you know."
Title: Re: dealing with food-related comments
Post by: Hmmmmm on September 20, 2013, 08:07:00 AM
Response to an "ewww gross" to me will be met with a raised eyebrow with a bemused look and a "Excuse me, did you just call my lunch gross?" Then a short laugh, a shake of the head, and a return to my lunch.
Title: Re: dealing with food-related comments
Post by: nayberry on September 20, 2013, 09:57:56 AM
i tend to take a bite bite and make yummy noises :)  and if they persist reply with "did i offer you any? no? then stop commenting on it!"
Title: Re: dealing with food-related comments
Post by: Phoebelion on September 20, 2013, 10:00:36 AM
When DH's close and extended family visit, it's usually for the weekend.  They are from rural areas.

He always tells me "Don't cook wired stuff".  About the fifth time, I asked him what weird stuff I cooked.

His answer - lamb stew, cheesy garlic biscuts, waffles, bruschetta, steamed veggies, ya know, weird stuff. 

And yes, I have had his family turn up their nose at the cheese garlic biscuts.
Title: Re: dealing with food-related comments
Post by: Thipu1 on September 20, 2013, 10:10:57 AM
The one that used to get my goat at the library regularly came from someone who was a newly converted vegetarian.  She would often look at my lunch and say, 'Oh, you're STILL eating meat?'. 

Her vegetarianism didn't last very long.  After a few months I saw her tucking into a Big Mac.  Hoo boy, it was a huge temptation to make a comment. 

It wasn't her vegetarianism that bothered me, it was the moral superiority in her voice.  I think it bothered me because it was rare to encounter someone like that. 

IME, vegetarians, vegans, people who keep Kosher or observe Halal are happy to share recipes.  The only thing that should be said about another diner's food is, 'That smells great!  What is it?'. 
Title: Re: dealing with food-related comments
Post by: Cherry91 on September 20, 2013, 10:26:13 AM
I have a massive appetite, and have done since I was a teeny-tiny little girl. The amount of comments I get about my dietry choices is really irritating, from the "concerned" ("a moment on the lips...") to the "waste police" ("why did you order all that, there's no way you're going to eat it!"). It also doesn't help that I have a massive sweet tooth...
Title: Re: dealing with food-related comments
Post by: BeagleMommy on September 20, 2013, 11:44:33 AM
Don't "yuck" my "yum".  I said this to someone who said she couldn't believe I was drinking "that nasty Diet Dr. Pepper".  She obviously doesn't know it's addictive.
Title: Re: dealing with food-related comments
Post by: ladyknight1 on September 20, 2013, 11:47:27 AM
I have found the direct look and a pause will make most commenters move on.

That is so annoying!
Title: Re: dealing with food-related comments
Post by: Two Ravens on September 20, 2013, 11:54:55 AM
"Good, you can't have any."
Title: Re: dealing with food-related comments
Post by: gingerzing on September 20, 2013, 12:04:53 PM
"Good, you can't have any."

My vote.

 Or "So glad that I didn't make you a serving" 

Title: Re: dealing with food-related comments
Post by: White Lotus on September 20, 2013, 12:12:47 PM
I can go off on this because comments in what other people eat or don't, and comments on food at table -- besides saying it is good -- are totally rude.  To keep Evil, Snark, Wicked and Nasty in their cages, I usually do the raised eyebrow cold look and bite my tongue.  Better is when I can answer the question I wish they'd asked: "Sorry.  I don't have enough to share."  And turn away and ignore.
Title: Re: dealing with food-related comments
Post by: mlogica on September 20, 2013, 12:28:33 PM
My workplace is relatively small and quite friendly, but there are a few people who seem obsessed with what everyone else is eating.  I do find it odd.  Fortunately, no one has ever said anything really negative, such as the OP experienced.  In the interests of workplace harmony, I would simply keep a slightly pleasant expression and say, "Good thing it's my lunch and not yours!" in a slightly pleasant tone, and leave the room ASAP.
Title: Re: dealing with food-related comments
Post by: TootsNYC on September 20, 2013, 01:55:28 PM
I'd vote for a slightly hurt rebuke: "Please don't make comments about my food."

And if they say anything to defend themselves, then, "I certainly didn't intend for my food choices to become your business. Please don't make comments about my food."

And then stick to "please don't make comments about my food."

Title: Re: dealing with food-related comments
Post by: Amara on September 20, 2013, 02:39:12 PM
One could, with a brilliant smile, say "I love slime!" >:D That ought to take the wind out of their sails.
Title: Re: dealing with food-related comments
Post by: EllenS on September 20, 2013, 03:22:24 PM
When my children were toddlers, I taught them the phrase, "De gustibus non est disputandum".  There's no arguing with tastes.

(Though now I wiki'ed the spelling, I may have to go correct their pronunciation.)

A little Latin tends to shock the system of people like that.
Title: Re: dealing with food-related comments
Post by: sweetonsno on September 20, 2013, 03:23:06 PM
I'd respond with a smile, shrug, and "Well, I like it."
Title: Re: dealing with food-related comments
Post by: Aquamarine on September 20, 2013, 05:01:18 PM
"I don't comment on your food choices and would appreciate if you would refrain from commenting on mine.  I find it intrusive and annoying."

After you say the above once, I would start saying "So you keep repeatedly saying" when they comment said with a sigh.
Title: Re: dealing with food-related comments
Post by: Nikko-chan on September 20, 2013, 05:10:51 PM
When DH's close and extended family visit, it's usually for the weekend.  They are from rural areas.

He always tells me "Don't cook wired stuff".  About the fifth time, I asked him what weird stuff I cooked.

His answer - lamb stew, cheesy garlic biscuts, waffles, bruschetta, steamed veggies, ya know, weird stuff. 

And yes, I have had his family turn up their nose at the cheese garlic biscuts.

So ya know, I do think you might have to go uh post to the recipes thread... how many ehellions think Phoebelion should go post these lovely recipes on the recipes board?

As for the naysayers the OP experienced, just give them the look and continue enjoying the food (i tend to eat "weird" stuff too)
Title: Re: dealing with food-related comments
Post by: VorFemme on September 20, 2013, 06:43:22 PM
"It's an old family recipe - I guess that you won't be wanting it?"
Title: Re: dealing with food-related comments
Post by: checkitnice on September 20, 2013, 07:48:05 PM
I usually go with a combination of the raised eyebrow and "more for me"

Quinoa tabbouleh at a work potluck got some comments from the more "meat and potatoes" guys ... one of them said "who brought the fish eggs?"  It was actually a hit though, and one of those guys secretly ate some after his comrades took off.  :)
Title: Re: dealing with food-related comments
Post by: Baxter on September 21, 2013, 12:30:52 AM
"different strokes for different folks"

I'd use the comments to start a conversation "It always amazes me what people find to be weird, because this food is normal to me.  What do you eat that other people say is awful?"

I think that if you have a conversation about lunches you may head off the comments that co-worker will make every day you sit down to lunch.
Title: Re: dealing with food-related comments
Post by: PastryGoddess on September 21, 2013, 12:36:58 AM
I get this a lot from my family.  Because I went to culinary school, I tend to be much more adventuresome with my food than the rest of my family.

My go to phrases are "It's a good thing you don't have to eat it" "I didn't plan on offering you any" "And your point is?..."
Title: Re: dealing with food-related comments
Post by: blarg314 on September 21, 2013, 01:12:48 AM

How about packing octopus sashimi and, when they comment, saying "Oh, but the suckers feel so cool on your tongue!"  >:D
Title: Re: dealing with food-related comments
Post by: Coralreef on September 21, 2013, 08:56:06 AM
When DH's close and extended family visit, it's usually for the weekend.  They are from rural areas.

He always tells me "Don't cook wired stuff".  About the fifth time, I asked him what weird stuff I cooked.

His answer - lamb stew, cheesy garlic biscuts, waffles, bruschetta, steamed veggies, ya know, weird stuff. 

And yes, I have had his family turn up their nose at the cheese garlic biscuts.

So ya know, I do think you might have to go uh post to the recipes thread... how many ehellions think Phoebelion should go post these lovely recipes on the recipes board?

As for the naysayers the OP experienced, just give them the look and continue enjoying the food (i tend to eat "weird" stuff too)

Yes, I'll second that notion.  Now, that lamb stew... can I make it in a crockpot? 
Title: Re: dealing with food-related comments
Post by: Thipu1 on September 21, 2013, 10:00:16 AM
When my children were toddlers, I taught them the phrase, "De gustibus non est disputandum".  There's no arguing with tastes.

(Though now I wiki'ed the spelling, I may have to go correct their pronunciation.)

A little Latin tends to shock the system of people like that.

Or, as Mark Twain is supposed to have said, 'It is a difference of opinion that makes horse races'.
Title: Re: dealing with food-related comments
Post by: White Lotus on September 21, 2013, 11:08:01 AM
Degustibus non est desputandum!  Why didn't I think of that!  Latin is so useful.  What a great idea.

Title: Re: dealing with food-related comments
Post by: Shea on September 22, 2013, 08:42:48 AM
When DH's close and extended family visit, it's usually for the weekend.  They are from rural areas.

He always tells me "Don't cook wired stuff".  About the fifth time, I asked him what weird stuff I cooked.

His answer - lamb stew, cheesy garlic biscuts, waffles, bruschetta, steamed veggies, ya know, weird stuff. 

And yes, I have had his family turn up their nose at the cheese garlic biscuts.

If lamb stew, cheesy biscuits and steamed vegetables are "weird", what the heck is "normal?" Those seem like good, solid, regular-type dishes to me!
Title: Re: dealing with food-related comments
Post by: nayberry on September 22, 2013, 10:43:22 AM
When DH's close and extended family visit, it's usually for the weekend.  They are from rural areas.

He always tells me "Don't cook wired stuff".  About the fifth time, I asked him what weird stuff I cooked.

His answer - lamb stew, cheesy garlic biscuts, waffles, bruschetta, steamed veggies, ya know, weird stuff. 

And yes, I have had his family turn up their nose at the cheese garlic biscuts.

If lamb stew, cheesy biscuits and steamed vegetables are "weird", what the heck is "normal?" Those seem like good, solid, regular-type dishes to me!


agree and +1 to requesting recipes :D
Title: Re: dealing with food-related comments
Post by: Itza on September 22, 2013, 11:08:51 AM
"It's not your job to eat this food; it's mine. You've been spared."
Title: Re: dealing with food-related comments
Post by: Luci on September 22, 2013, 11:17:37 AM
When DH's close and extended family visit, it's usually for the weekend.  They are from rural areas.

He always tells me "Don't cook wired stuff".  About the fifth time, I asked him what weird stuff I cooked.

His answer - lamb stew, cheesy garlic biscuts, waffles, bruschetta, steamed veggies, ya know, weird stuff. 

And yes, I have had his family turn up their nose at the cheese garlic biscuts.
If lamb stew, cheesy biscuits and steamed vegetables are "weird", what the heck is "normal?" Those seem like good, solid, regular-type dishes to me!


Don't mix foods!

I grew up in a meat and potoatoes home. A little stew made from leftovers was fine, but other than that, forget it. Cheese was only for sandwiches, and the only condiments were salt, pepper, butter, catsup, mustard, and Miracle Whip (PLEASE don't start the MW vs mayo again!). We had beef, chicken and pork, and wild meats that most people consider weird.

Even garlic (which grows wild on area farms!) was shunned. And vegies had to have the life cooked out of them and only salt and butter on them.

Recently at one of our parties hummus was served. "What's that?" "Ground chickpeas and garlic,"  and the answer I got was a funny look and the guy walked away.

Of course, pies and cakes and cookies were always present, and homemade ice cream. Those were the only desserts.

After my stepmother passed away, my dad said that he hoped to never see another pizza, because that was what they had for dinner every Sunday evening and he hated it. He was over 40 before it became popular, and it was still a few years before he tried it.

I'm good now and sometimes get comments. I don't bother with more than a quick cool glance and ignoring them.


Title: Re: dealing with food-related comments
Post by: CluelessBride on September 22, 2013, 11:52:27 AM
When DH's close and extended family visit, it's usually for the weekend.  They are from rural areas.

He always tells me "Don't cook wired stuff".  About the fifth time, I asked him what weird stuff I cooked.

His answer - lamb stew, cheesy garlic biscuts, waffles, bruschetta, steamed veggies, ya know, weird stuff. 

And yes, I have had his family turn up their nose at the cheese garlic biscuts.

If lamb stew, cheesy biscuits and steamed vegetables are "weird", what the heck is "normal?" Those seem like good, solid, regular-type dishes to me!

I imagine a lot depends on where you grew up and more specifically what types of food your were raised on.

I don't know about weird, but I've always thought of lamb as sort of exotic.  Probably because chicken, beef and pork were pretty much the staple meats in my family when I was growing up.

I've now had lamb and I enjoy it, but it still not something I would consider "regular".  More like tasty treat.

On the other hand, where I live now many people consider Mexican and Tex-Mex flavors exotic. But I grew up with those flavors, so they seem pretty standard to me.

That's why not commenting negatively on food is so important. There can be a lot of emotional, cultural and family ties to it. So an "ewww, that looks weird" can cut pretty deep.
Title: Re: dealing with food-related comments
Post by: Free Range Hippy Chick on September 23, 2013, 07:57:21 AM
When DH's close and extended family visit, it's usually for the weekend.  They are from rural areas.

He always tells me "Don't cook wired stuff".  About the fifth time, I asked him what weird stuff I cooked.

His answer - lamb stew, cheesy garlic biscuts, waffles, bruschetta, steamed veggies, ya know, weird stuff. 

And yes, I have had his family turn up their nose at the cheese garlic biscuts.

I didn't know that I posted on here in the name of Phoebelion as well as Free Range Hippy Chick. I had to wash the lamb chops once because 'oh, is there garlic in the marinade? we don't like garlic. Yes, we eat garlic bread, but we don't like garlic.' I still have nightmares about the cranberry and pistachio shortbread - because shortbread, you see, doesn't have red and green bits in it. Their reaction to 'I don't recognise it' is automatically 'so I don't like it.' Even if it's an ingredient they know and eat in another dish, they won't eat it in this one. Apricot tart, yes. Apricots with lamb, no.

The WickedChick gets out occasionally - I assured them that I was cooking sausages, mash and baked beans. That's non-weird enough even for them. But WickedChick bought venison sausages and made the baked beans from  scratch with belly pork and molasses, and the mash was half and half potato and celeriac.
Title: Re: dealing with food-related comments
Post by: Ida on September 23, 2013, 07:35:18 PM
When DH's close and extended family visit, it's usually for the weekend.  They are from rural areas.


The WickedChick gets out occasionally - I assured them that I was cooking sausages, mash and baked beans. That's non-weird enough even for them. But WickedChick bought venison sausages and made the baked beans from  scratch with belly pork and molasses, and the mash was half and half potato and celeriac.

Will you marry us?
Title: Re: dealing with food-related comments
Post by: Free Range Hippy Chick on September 24, 2013, 05:36:34 AM
When DH's close and extended family visit, it's usually for the weekend.  They are from rural areas.

The WickedChick gets out occasionally - I assured them that I was cooking sausages, mash and baked beans. That's non-weird enough even for them. But WickedChick bought venison sausages and made the baked beans from  scratch with belly pork and molasses, and the mash was half and half potato and celeriac.


Will you marry us?


Only if we get to cater our own reception.