Etiquette Hell

General Etiquette => Family and Children => Topic started by: LilacGirl1983 on September 29, 2013, 09:04:37 PM

Title: polite way to express displeasure?
Post by: LilacGirl1983 on September 29, 2013, 09:04:37 PM
Hey ladies I am so upset. I try not to post to much since I know some of you are in worse spots or have more on your plate. We had to use a daycare for a couple of hours until my SIL could pick up baby boy since my hubby graduated from college today! When I got there the house was cluttered. There were two other babies there sitting in bouncy chairs..Some things she said (we never met) 1) he favors one side and recommended a chiropractor, 2) her cats like to chew the nipples off bottles ?!? 3) Asked me if he crawled yet? No he is 3 months then does he roll? No he is 3 months does he sit on his own? What part of he is only 3 months is confusing? (Didnt say that) I told her I just changed him but I think he is wet. And gave her his bottle 4) does he need it warmed up? I told her yes...but thats not what upset me a lot

My SIL picked him up 2 hours later..his diaper is soaked..she never changed him..his onsie around the armpits and neckline were soaked..she didnt change him into his spare clothes..there was another baby just left in a pack and play in the back room..she was originally in the bouncer..She had 9 other kids there. The fact she let my poor son sit in a soaking wet diaper for hours and clothes..makes me see red!

My SIL gave him a bath and comforted him..he was sleeping when she picked him up..I am thinking of reporting it to licensing? Am I being over dramatic? Should I contact her first or go straight to licensing? I need some help framing it politely about how upset I am to licensing since I know they tend to downplay things so I need polite but firm statements in letter format. Not sure how to even go about it?
Title: Re: polite way to express displeasure?
Post by: kherbert05 on September 29, 2013, 09:56:13 PM
Was this a drop in situation. Honestly the cat comment would have cause me to flee with the child. I would file a report.
Title: Re: polite way to express displeasure?
Post by: sammycat on September 29, 2013, 09:59:15 PM
Yikes! Yes, definitely file a report.
Title: Re: polite way to express displeasure?
Post by: BarensMom on September 29, 2013, 10:05:32 PM
There's no way that sitter should have been watching NINE kids by herself.  My mother ran a daycare back in the 60's and even back then, there limits on the number of children one sitter could watch at a time.  Definitely report her to the licensing board.
Title: Re: polite way to express displeasure?
Post by: *inviteseller on September 29, 2013, 10:08:29 PM
I would not have left my child personally.  But just make a bullet point list of your grievances for when you call so you have your thoughts together and can stay emotionally even.  Have you ever used this person before?  If not, may I suggest the next day care you use, you do a visit ahead of time and talk to them so you know what you are facing and there are no surprises. 
Title: Re: polite way to express displeasure?
Post by: hyzenthlay on September 29, 2013, 10:08:40 PM
I don't know what kind of diapers you use, my kids rarely wet one through in only 2 hours.

If your son was asleep when he was picked up how would the provider even realize his diaper had failed?  I certainly wasn't inclined to wake my kids if they were asleep just to check for wetness. How do you know he was left for hours and not minutes?

The cat nipple thing, and the unfamiliarity with young babies would cause me not to return to this person, but I can't see that the child being picked up asleep is indicative of that bad a care situation.

Title: Re: polite way to express displeasure?
Post by: LeveeWoman on September 29, 2013, 10:13:28 PM
Hey ladies I am so upset. I try not to post to much since I know some of you are in worse spots or have more on your plate. We had to use a daycare for a couple of hours until my SIL could pick up baby boy since my hubby graduated from college today! When I got there the house was cluttered. There were two other babies there sitting in bouncy chairs..Some things she said (we never met) 1) he favors one side and recommended a chiropractor, 2) her cats like to chew the nipples off bottles ?!? 3) Asked me if he crawled yet? No he is 3 months then does he roll? No he is 3 months does he sit on his own? What part of he is only 3 months is confusing? (Didnt say that) I told her I just changed him but I think he is wet. And gave her his bottle 4) does he need it warmed up? I told her yes...but thats not what upset me a lot

My SIL picked him up 2 hours later..his diaper is soaked..she never changed him..his onsie around the armpits and neckline were soaked..she didnt change him into his spare clothes..there was another baby just left in a pack and play in the back room..she was originally in the bouncer..She had 9 other kids there. The fact she let my poor son sit in a soaking wet diaper for hours and clothes..makes me see red!

My SIL gave him a bath and comforted him..he was sleeping when she picked him up..I am thinking of reporting it to licensing? Am I being over dramatic? Should I contact her first or go straight to licensing? I need some help framing it politely about how upset I am to licensing since I know they tend to downplay things so I need polite but firm statements in letter format. Not sure how to even go about it?

I'd draft an outline of what happened and report this to the state ASAP.
Title: Re: polite way to express displeasure?
Post by: kareng57 on September 29, 2013, 10:19:04 PM
How did you find out about this daycare?

Is the owner giving the impression that she is licensed, when she is not?  (I hasten to add that non-licensed care can be perfectly okay in some instances - in my area, a caregiver can care for two kids without being licensed).

I do agree that no-diaper-change in two hours really is not alarm-provoking.  I never woke my own kids up from naps in order to do diaper changing and certainly wouldn't have expected a daycare to do so.

Whether or not to report it is your call, but you have to accept some responsibility here, yourself.  You are saying yourself that you never personally met the daycare provider?? (if I'm understanding correctly).  While your husband's graduation ceremony was a milestone, I would never have left my own kids with an unknown daycare in order to attend the ceremony.  Life deals us hard choices, sometimes.

ETA:  re your complaint #4 - not all bottle-feeding parents warm up the bottles.  I've known some who say that their babies take cold bottles just fine.
Title: Re: polite way to express displeasure?
Post by: katycoo on September 29, 2013, 10:30:40 PM
I agree it doesn't sounds great, but I'm not sure what you actually KNOW.

You thought he was wet when you dropped him off.  He was very wet when he was collected.  Are you certain his nappy was never changed?  Are you certain his clothes had been soaked through for hours?

9 kids seems excessive, I agree.  Are you certain she was the sole carer on duty?

I don't think the questions about whether he can roll or sit to be that unusual.  Some kids are advanced.  Its fair that she should ask this.  Same about bottle warming.

If you can be certain of the other things, then I'd make a complaint.  If you're not certain, I'd enquire with the carer.
Title: Re: polite way to express displeasure?
Post by: Deetee on September 30, 2013, 12:04:43 AM
I agree a bit with the others. For example, my first was fine with cold milk and seemed to prefer it. My second likes it warm. My first was rolling at six weeks (fwiw, she actually crawled and walked late but she was an amazing roller at six weeks) That's important stuff to know. In general, I would not expect a care give to change a diaper during a two hour stint, and rely not if the baby was napping.

The only really dreadful thing is that Nine kids seems completely wrong. My daycare has a limit of four for under three years and eight for up to five years.

I would be unlikely to use that person ever again but side from the numbers, I don't see much reportable.
Title: Re: polite way to express displeasure?
Post by: cicero on September 30, 2013, 04:05:54 AM
Congratulations to hubby!

Personally, when a day care provider doesn't know that a three month doesn't sit or crawl yet, sounds to me like she knows zilcho about babies. (that, plus the nine kids AND the cats chewing the bottles --- i would've grabbed my kid and gone).

Yes, you should report. this sounds like an unsafe situation for whatever children she is watching. the not changing the diaper - yes she should have, but maybe the child was sleeping and she preferred not to wake him. (unless your child is overprone to rashes, it would be uncomfortable for him, but since you say he was sleeping I can assume that it wasn't *that* uncomfortable). The cold milk wouldn't have bothered me as much either. but the fact that she doesn't seem to know anything about baby development (i mean seriously - these are basics that I wouldn't expect *everyone* to know but I would expect a childcare giver to know!), the nine kids and the cats roaming around unsupervised, that would warrant a report to whomever.
Title: Re: polite way to express displeasure?
Post by: momtomany on September 30, 2013, 05:30:51 AM
I almost never post here but as a daycare provider, I felt the need to respond.  Licensing varies from state to state but I am allowed to have six preschool children alone.  There could be many reasons the babies were in bouncers...if I had a new baby coming in I'd do it so I could spend a bit of time with that child without chasing the other baby.  But I can only have two infants at a time.

Wet diapers happen.  She probably propped him with a bottle (not a practice that I support and is a violation here) and that's how his top got wet.  I would ask if baby was rolling because some of them do at three months and I don't want to find that out the hard way. 

You can report her, but the licensor needs proof and she isn't going to admit she was out of ratio.  And the out of ratio was the big deal.  The cat thing is just gross.  I wouldn't use this woman again.  I would also council you to check your states office of children and families or its equivalent.  They will be able to tell you if a provider has violations and what they are.  There's a big difference between not having a lid on your garbage can and a lack of supervision.
Title: Re: polite way to express displeasure?
Post by: flickan on September 30, 2013, 05:52:56 AM
2) her cats like to chew the nipples off bottles ?!?

This is the part that bothers me the most.

We have cats and for the moment we cannot have any young children in our home because both cats are diagnosed carriers for bartonella henselae, the bacteria that causes Cat Scratch Disease.  They have been given a full course of antibiotics and await retesting.  In the meantime we avoid exposing other people as much as possible.  Cats get this from fleas and each other.  Outdoor cats are much more likely to be infected as are any cats who are rescued as strays.  It is estimated that 40% of cats carry this at some point in their lives and it's spread through saliva.

Young children should never under any circumstances come into contact with cat saliva.  EVER.  For people with normal immune systems CSD isn't usually an issue, more like getting the flu.  For young children and those with weaker immune systems CSD can be dangerous.

I love my cats-- I'm a cat person, not a kid person, so believe me when I say that I have no agenda here about contact between children and animals in general.  But all parents should know about this.  Even if a cat is a carrier for bartonella then the odds of contact are minimal for well behaved cats because one isn't likely to be bitten or scratched.  But a cat chewing on a baby bottle is huge red flag for me.  Do not go back to this person.  This is a health hazard.
Title: Re: polite way to express displeasure?
Post by: YummyMummy66 on September 30, 2013, 05:53:28 AM
Are you sure she is even licensed?  If she is, then I would report it to whoever takes care of her license.

I would not even bother going to her about this.  I would never go to her again.

If you knew you needed care for your child, I would have checked around and found someone reputable.  You could have porbably gotten a college aged kid or teenager to come to your home and provide better care for your child.  AFter seeing all that you did when you dropped your child off, personally, I would never have left my child with this person.  My child's welfare is more important than my husband's graduation.  Baby would have been coming with me. 
Title: Re: polite way to express displeasure?
Post by: bopper on September 30, 2013, 07:53:14 AM
I don't know where you live and what the regulations are, but it seems as though from what you have said that this person has too many kids to take care of. If they are supposed to be licensed and there are regulations about the caregiver to kid ratio and they are not meeting them, I would report them.  Is this a home daycare?  Was there another adult at home (even if they weren't doing anything?)

If you were to report the daycare you could say:

"I needed a drop in daycare for a couple of hours so I searched <however you found it> and found <daycare>.  I am writing you because I am concerned with three things;
1) There were 2 other infants plus mine being watched. In addition there were 9 other children there.  I did not see another adult besides <daycare person> so I am concerned about the caregiver to child ration.
2) The caregiver stated " her cats like to chew the nipples off bottles".  I am concerned about the health implications of that.
3) I told the caregiver that my child was 3 months old and she asked me if he sat up or could crawl. I am concerned that she is not aware of age appropriate development which could impact her care.
Title: Re: polite way to express displeasure?
Post by: CaffeineKatie on September 30, 2013, 09:12:23 AM
Report, report, report!!!!  I know it is hard to find affordable daycare, but this is NOT a good situation at all, for anyone's kids.

And CONGRATS!!! to your DH for his graduation!
Title: Re: polite way to express displeasure?
Post by: LilacGirl1983 on September 30, 2013, 09:13:42 AM
Thank You for all the replies. Here is a bit more info.   We had a person we trusted but at the last minute she injured her back. I called a place that does referals for licensed daycare and she gave me a list of providers and she was one of the few who said they had a spot open. I dont plan on ever returning there ever. We use disposables with a wetness indicator. It had just turned blue when we got there hence my diaper change comment.  I did report it and found out that somehow looked up the wrong person in the license database. The provider has 3 complaints one SIDS related. So yes some of its my fault.


Thanks for the congrats. He worked hard and got perfect 4.0 for his college degree for 4 years.
Title: Re: polite way to express displeasure?
Post by: doodlemor on September 30, 2013, 10:16:40 AM
This is a very serious matter.  You absolutely need to report this person ASAP, before a tragedy happens there. 
Title: Re: polite way to express displeasure?
Post by: Knitterly on September 30, 2013, 12:33:19 PM
This is a very serious matter.  You absolutely need to report this person ASAP, before a tragedy happens there.

Parking my POD right here. 

They should never ever ever have been recommended.

Not only do you need to report the provider, you need to report the referral agency for such a serious error! 

This is a safety-trumps-etiquette situation.  Etiquette is about being mindful of the feelings and comfort of others.  You do not need to be mindful of the providors feelings.  They don't matter.  Those kids in her care matter, as do the parents who may not know what is going on.
Title: Re: polite way to express displeasure?
Post by: MommyPenguin on September 30, 2013, 01:59:38 PM
With the onesie being wet, my daughter's often is, mostly from her drinking bottles and also sometimes from drooling.  But she's 11 months old and drinking her own bottles and playing with them, which is how she gets so wet.  With a 3-month-old, I'd think you'd have an idea whether he usually gets wet when he drinks?  Propping hadn't occurred to me, but it's dangerous.

The cat thing would actually bother me less than it seems to have bothered some others.  I guess I'd need more context/body language.  I took it as, "I never leave bottles around, because the cats will chew on the nipples (probably because of the milk), so I'm careful to keep bottles out of reach in cabinets or the fridge, so I'll be putting yours there until your little guy is ready for it."  But maybe I'm reading too much into it.

As others have said, states vary on how many kids you can watch who aren't your own, and I'm pretty sure that goes for unlicensed babysitters as well as licensed care providers.  Usually you are limited to about 3 under 3, but I think you can have more if they're older.  9 sounds like a lot, but a babysitter in my neighborhood used to have a lot of kids like that when I was a kid.  I don't think *any* were babies, though.  9 is a lot of kids to handle if you have at least 3 babies (you mentioned at least 2 others) plus preschoolers.  I know several parents who have 8-9, but in those cases, several of them are always teens or tweens, which means that not only do they not really require looking after, but they can even be a second pair of hands/eyes in a pinch.

*Usually* mine don't wet through a diaper in two hours, so my guess is that you're right, the baby was never changed.  The diaper wasn't dirty as well as wet, though, was it?  I find that that kills the absorbency and if a baby poops and then pees, then they'll end up wet.  I wouldn't normally have considered it a big deal not to change a baby in a 2 hour period except that, if the diaper was so wet that it had leaked, I'd have noticed it was really full, and also that you specific said that the baby needed a change.  Yes, if the baby was sleeping, it was probably better not to wake him, but it would have been more responsible to change the baby first and *then* put him down to sleep.

I probably wouldn't blame a daycare provider for having SIDS in her record.  By definition, SIDS means that it was not expected and didn't have an obvious cause.  SIDS is also slightly more likely in a daycare situation than at home and often right when they start daycare (so it may be linked to a change of routine or something like that), and if the provider is still licensed, I would assume that that meant that they looked into what happened and determined that the provider wasn't negligent (or else she would have lost her license).
Title: Re: polite way to express displeasure?
Post by: cwm on September 30, 2013, 02:01:21 PM
Thank You for all the replies. Here is a bit more info.   We had a person we trusted but at the last minute she injured her back. I called a place that does referals for licensed daycare and she gave me a list of providers and she was one of the few who said they had a spot open. I dont plan on ever returning there ever. We use disposables with a wetness indicator. It had just turned blue when we got there hence my diaper change comment.  I did report it and found out that somehow looked up the wrong person in the license database. The provider has 3 complaints one SIDS related. So yes some of its my fault.


Thanks for the congrats. He worked hard and got perfect 4.0 for his college degree for 4 years.

Complain. Loudly, and to anyone who will listen. Make sure that the agency you used will never use this person again, or will at least put notes in there indicating what you saw and will take further precautions. Spread the word far and wide what you've seen and heard. Report it to a licensing agency.

This, to me, goes beyond politeness and simple displeasure. This is a safety issue, and safety trumps etiquette. And to me it would be more than displeasure, it would be seething fury.
Title: Re: polite way to express displeasure?
Post by: sammycat on September 30, 2013, 07:31:30 PM
I did report it and found out that somehow looked up the wrong person in the license database. The provider has 3 complaints one SIDS related. So yes some of its my fault.

I'm glad you reported it, but I'm a little confused by this bit.

Did the agency accidentally refer you to someone they knew already had complaints about them (and, as an aside, just how many complaints does it take before someone is closed down?!)?  Or did they send you a list of people, including this woman, and you chose her, unaware that she had complaints?
Title: Re: polite way to express displeasure?
Post by: Mary Lennox on September 30, 2013, 08:55:47 PM
You said you first looked up the wrong provider, was this one even on the list you were given? If she is, how current was the list? The referral agency may not realise how bad this one is. It kind of makes me wonder how easy to would be for someone completely unsuitable to get a licence and set up a day care, if this lady is still allowed to operate with that kind of history. Either way, I would try to visit any day cares before you leave your child there.
Title: Re: polite way to express displeasure?
Post by: kareng57 on September 30, 2013, 10:40:50 PM
I agree it doesn't sounds great, but I'm not sure what you actually KNOW.

You thought he was wet when you dropped him off.  He was very wet when he was collected.  Are you certain his nappy was never changed?  Are you certain his clothes had been soaked through for hours?

9 kids seems excessive, I agree.  Are you certain she was the sole carer on duty?

I don't think the questions about whether he can roll or sit to be that unusual.  Some kids are advanced.  Its fair that she should ask this.  Same about bottle warming.

If you can be certain of the other things, then I'd make a complaint.  If you're not certain, I'd enquire with the carer.


Re the sole caregiver - is it possible that one was away for a few minutes in order to drop off or pick up out-of-school-care kids?  (By that, I mean kids who attend public school either half days or full days, and someone has to ferry them to or from school).  Even then, I'll agree that 9 preschool kids seems to be too many, but there's so much that is not known in this situation.

I will agree with a PP that a SIDS situation that was thoroughly investigated should never be a black-mark on the record of a reputable daycare.  While very rare, it can happen just as easily at a daycare as it could in the family home.
Title: Re: polite way to express displeasure?
Post by: Knitterly on October 01, 2013, 08:04:54 AM
I agree it doesn't sounds great, but I'm not sure what you actually KNOW.

You thought he was wet when you dropped him off.  He was very wet when he was collected.  Are you certain his nappy was never changed?  Are you certain his clothes had been soaked through for hours?

9 kids seems excessive, I agree.  Are you certain she was the sole carer on duty?

I don't think the questions about whether he can roll or sit to be that unusual.  Some kids are advanced.  Its fair that she should ask this.  Same about bottle warming.

If you can be certain of the other things, then I'd make a complaint.  If you're not certain, I'd enquire with the carer.


Re the sole caregiver - is it possible that one was away for a few minutes in order to drop off or pick up out-of-school-care kids?  (By that, I mean kids who attend public school either half days or full days, and someone has to ferry them to or from school).  Even then, I'll agree that 9 preschool kids seems to be too many, but there's so much that is not known in this situation.

I will agree with a PP that a SIDS situation that was thoroughly investigated should never be a black-mark on the record of a reputable daycare.  While very rare, it can happen just as easily at a daycare as it could in the family home.

The key phrase here is reputable

I am a competant, security cleared, first-aid-trained childcare provider.  I have a toddler of my own and care for one other toddler.  I could, conceivably, take a second or third child, depending on their ages.  However, I would find that one or two more children in addition to my own toddler would severely tax my ability to provide competant care.

Every place is different, but most states have rules governing unlicensed care, as well as licensed care. 

It is important to note whether any of the children belonged to the care provider, their ages, and the general state of the house. 

What the OP described would have set me on edge, too.  I had a sitter put LK to bed the other night without changing her diaper.  When I went in to get her in the morning, she was soaked through her diaper, through her pajamas, and through her sheets.  Mr K thought that the sitter had just put LK in the wrong diaper (she has specific nighttime diapers because she's a heavy wetter), but that bothered me, too, as I'd given specific instructions about needing to use the nighttime diapers, had put the daytime diapers away, and laid a nighttime diaper on top of LK's pajamas.  Mr K checked the nanny cam and discovered that the sitter had not, in fact, changed LK's diaper.  It's not a huge deal, but I suspect she didn't follow certain other instructions (LK's toothbrush was dry).  I simply won't be using that sitter again.

Failure to follow simple instructions is not a sign of a competant or reputable caregiver.

The OP left her child with instructions that he was wet and needed to be changed, and a change of clothes in case the ones he had on were soiled.
The child was given back with an even wetter diaper and soaking wet clothes.
Based on the wetness of the diaper and the state of the clothes, the OP determined that he had not been changed as instructed.  This is a reasonable assumption.  She further assessed that it's likely her child wasn't changed because the caregiver was overtaxexd.  Again, this is a pretty reasonable assessment.

Unfortunately, after re-reading this and re-reading the OP's actual question, I doubt anything would come of a complaint.  I think the OP should file one anyway, just to have it on record.  It's possible that it may help someone else in the future.

LilacGirl, stick to the facts - what you and your sister in law directly observed (ie 9 children under the care of a single provider, that your child was left in a soiled diaper for presumably for the entire duration, whether there was any rash or redness from being left in wet clothes - this is an indicator of how long he was left wet).  It would probably also be helpful for your sister in law to write a note on what she directly observed to include with your complaint.

A helpful tip for the future:  Get a different kind of diaper for any new caregiver to use.  I use a different kind of diaper with LK when I send her off to her Sunday School class, and will be doing the same with babysitters inthe future.  This was I can see at a glance whether she has been changed.
Title: Re: polite way to express displeasure?
Post by: Zilla on October 01, 2013, 08:09:16 AM
Did you not see any of this when you toured the daycare?  I would simply write a letter listing your complaints and tell her you will no longer be using her services.  Find another provider.
Title: Re: polite way to express displeasure?
Post by: fountainof on October 01, 2013, 10:57:28 AM
Obviously, this daycare person does have some issues.  However, I will say on the diaper thing at daycares here your child needs to start with a dry diaper.  So if you show up and your child's diaper is wet/dirty the parent is to change that first one.  So when you noticed the diaper was wet you should probably have changed the baby in the car before your went in.  Here they change diapers every 2 hours regardless of if they are wet or not so diapers do get wasted as they are required to change the diaper even if dry.  They do change dirty ones as they happen though.

On the crawling, rolling, sitting questions, I don't see the big deal.  Some babies do things early and 3 months old could mean just turned 3 months yesterday or turning 4 months right away which is a whole world of difference at that age.  My DD did roll at 3 months and could sit up assisted in thing like the saucer and shopping cart partly because I pushed those things as she hated lying down or sitting in her car seat.

I think a complaint is in order about the provider and also about the referral but also take this as lesson to more thoroughly judge where you leave your child.  If it feels off, just leave, it doesn't matter if someone referred the person or licensed them, if you aren't comfortable leaving your baby there then you shouldn't.   You could have packed the baby up and just left and skipped the graduation.  While it would be nice to be at the graduation, a baby's safety is way more important.
Title: Re: polite way to express displeasure?
Post by: LilacGirl1983 on October 01, 2013, 12:15:08 PM
Sorry to clarify the sids incident was not a death but her not following sids reduction protocol. I didn't have time unfortunately to tour before dropping off due to the last minuteness. I dropped off at 4:15pm so it was well after school was out. There is a licensing data base you can look up the providers licensing status. That is different then the referal list. She was on the listed for "licensed" providers. I wasn't aware she was on a conditional license..and when I talked to the licensor and she asked if I was aware of that and if it was posted she had correctional notices and no she didn't.
Title: Re: polite way to express displeasure?
Post by: Zilla on October 01, 2013, 12:37:00 PM
Sorry to clarify the sids incident was not a death but her not following sids reduction protocol. I didn't have time unfortunately to tour before dropping off due to the last minuteness. I dropped off at 4:15pm so it was well after school was out. There is a licensing data base you can look up the providers licensing status. That is different then the referal list. She was on the listed for "licensed" providers. I wasn't aware she was on a conditional license..and when I talked to the licensor and she asked if I was aware of that and if it was posted she had correctional notices and no she didn't.


Yikes!!  Now you know to tour and ask questions first next time!  They have really handy questionnaires online you can print and bring with you if this is the first time in dealing with a daycare.  And it's perfect you work evenings so you can go during the day.  Good luck.
Title: Re: polite way to express displeasure?
Post by: Goosey on October 01, 2013, 12:40:34 PM
Did they ask for vaccination records, etc when you dropped him off?

I would research how to determine if a place is safe enough to leave your kid there. NO place is safe enough to drop your kid off with strangers sight-unseen. None.
Title: Re: polite way to express displeasure?
Post by: Outdoor Girl on October 01, 2013, 12:43:42 PM
I agree with making a complaint, listing all the issues.

There was a very tragic case near me earlier in the summer where an unlicensed daycare (which means they can only have 5 children not related to the owner/operator) had 29 children in the home.

And I agree with Goosey:  Do your research now so that the next time you have an emergency crop up, you'll have a list of daycares you are willing to use.
Title: Re: polite way to express displeasure?
Post by: CocoCamm on October 01, 2013, 12:44:22 PM
I know the point is moot since you have already filed a complaint but my two cents are that you shouldn't complain after the fact about issues that you accepted by virtue of leaving your child in her care. By that I mean you knew about the large number of children and the cat nipple (ewww) thing before you left your child there so you essentially agreed that these things were acceptable to you.

As far as the questioning about your child's developmental abilities kids progress as vastly different rates. More then one poster on here stated that their kids were mobile in some way before the normal age so her asking about that shows to me that she is well aware of kids developmental norms enough to know that just because something is "normal" doesn't mean squat and each child is unique.

I do absolutely think the wetness issue is something that should be addressed. Not sure if going to an authority is the way to go as there is no proof that your child was neglected and the wetness could have occurred shortly before he was picked up for the day.

I do think that alerting the agency that you were misinformed about the licensing was the absolute right thing to do.