Etiquette Hell

A Civil World. Off-topic discussions on a variety of topics. Guests, register for forum membership to see all the boards. => Time For a Coffee Break! => Topic started by: jpcher on October 17, 2013, 06:29:52 PM

Title: Wedding/Shower/Whatever Party Favors . . . Thoughts?
Post by: jpcher on October 17, 2013, 06:29:52 PM
Reading the hosting a shower (http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=130535.0) thread in "Life in General" I got to thinking about party favors. Some posters in that thread thought they were useless and others thought that they were fun, thoughtful and creative.

I didn't want to derail that thread, but I was wondering what people thought about party favors for specialty type parties (like weddings/bridal or baby showers/housewarmings, etc.)

What was the best/worst party favor you ever received?

If you host a party, do you feel that a party favor is a must? What type of favors do you give?

When you attend this type of function, are you disappointed/do you think it's rude if there isn't a party favor?

What is the point behind party favors? Is it meant to be a simple TY for attending? or is it suppose to be a something for your guests to remember this special day?

What are your thoughts?




Back in the day (30 years ago) the thing to do for weddings was to have a matchbook engraved with the name of the couple and the date. I threw them into my "box of memories" and never used them. Alas, my BoM is gone, but I remember looking through the box every now and and then and when finding the matchbook thinking "Oh, yeah, I remember that wedding!" So I guess the party favor was pretty much useless but it did it's job . . . bringing back memories.


For my BWW, my mother insisted on finding something unique for the party favors. We settled on something like this: http://www.dollartree.com/floral/vases-bowls-containers/7-inch-Jardin-Glass-Vases/559c543c543p294228/index.pro filled with candies, along with a ribbon around the neck including a tag with mine and exH's name and date of the wedding.




Just throwing this out there . . .


 ;D
Title: Re: Wedding/Shower/Whatever Party Favors . . . Thoughts?
Post by: BigBadBetty on October 17, 2013, 07:30:48 PM
I don't usually care for party favors. I see them as wasteful. You are already supplying me with a place to be, food and hopefully booze. I don't need/want any knick knacks, I don't wear nail polish, etc. I live in a small condo so I don't have room for stuff I don't need.
Title: Re: Wedding/Shower/Whatever Party Favors . . . Thoughts?
Post by: Kaypeep on October 17, 2013, 07:40:43 PM
I loathe them and think they are wasteful, for the reasons the PP just stated.  Even the food ones. I usually have a tiny purse with me at weddings, I don't want to lug stuff home.  I usually just leave them on the table for the inevitable "favor hog" guest who goes around taking anything that's not nailed down. (Leftover favors, centerpieces, plants, etc.)
Title: Re: Wedding/Shower/Whatever Party Favors . . . Thoughts?
Post by: Amara on October 17, 2013, 07:43:05 PM
I dislike them and if I can do so without attracting attention I leave them behind. If not, I take and toss. I hate seeing people spend money on stuff that pleases them but may be of no interest to me. Since I tend to be a minimalist and do not collect things most are useless. And I especially hate adding to the city trash dump.
Title: Re: Wedding/Shower/Whatever Party Favors . . . Thoughts?
Post by: MizA on October 17, 2013, 07:52:08 PM
We did customized fortune cookies at out wedding. They seemed to go over well, and they were about $0.15 each. People found the insides quite fun, and we've been getting great feedback for months about them.
Title: Re: Wedding/Shower/Whatever Party Favors . . . Thoughts?
Post by: Hmmmmm on October 17, 2013, 07:56:13 PM
I don't know when the idea of adult party favors for showers started. I don't remember them in the '70s or 80's but suddenly sometime in the 90's they started appearing. We didn't do them for our wedding in '93 and I don't remember them for the bridal showers I gave or attended before then. But the first baby shower I attended around '95, there was a small party favor.

I've given party favors for things I've hosted. I prefer food or consumables. Some I've done
-Lemon Thympe cookies
-Honeycone candle to go with a theme
-Homemade chocolate fudge
-Little packet of tissues

One that I receive that I liked but I know was expensive was a cute USB drive shapped like an engagement ring with photos of the couple and the shower loaded. The hostesses DH took photos as everyone arrived and as the shower progress he loaded them on the USB and had them ready to send home with everyone. Way too much time and money. But I still have the USB drive in my desk. It's the one my DS won't "borrow".

Another one I liked was the hostess had bottles of vitamin water and plain water chilled and custom lables set out for guests to grab on the way home. It was a really hot day so it was great to have a cold drink to take with you.

But I do not feel slighted at all to walk out of a wedding, shower, or any party without a trinket, especially if I can't eat it on the way home.
Title: Re: Wedding/Shower/Whatever Party Favors . . . Thoughts?
Post by: katycoo on October 17, 2013, 08:02:13 PM
I had matchbooks at mine which I liked - at least they're practical and small.

Otherwise I would have gone the edible route.  At least you aren't stuck with cheap junk you won't use.

Wate of money IMO and I don't care in the slightest if there are none at all.
Title: Re: Wedding/Shower/Whatever Party Favors . . . Thoughts?
Post by: esposita on October 17, 2013, 08:37:40 PM
The little kid in me loves getting a little bag tied with ribbon and a pretty cookie with frosting in the shape of wedding bells or a baby stroller or a cute little bra (seriously adorable lingerie shower cookies). But an item that I have to cart home and can't devour? Annoying unless someone really knows what they're doing. Getting an edible treat is like the after party. I don't get out much these days, but I love parties, so its a bit of a let down (a tiny itsy bitsy let-down) when I come home and see the mess I made getting ready and I'm all tired from talking and laughing and then... "Ooh! Cookie!" and I feel better. :)
Title: Re: Wedding/Shower/Whatever Party Favors . . . Thoughts?
Post by: Winterlight on October 17, 2013, 08:38:36 PM
Not a fan- I have enough junk. If you're going to do it I would prefer something edible because that isn't going to hang around for ten years.
Title: Re: Wedding/Shower/Whatever Party Favors . . . Thoughts?
Post by: jedikaiti on October 17, 2013, 08:43:03 PM
If I never see a little tulle bag of jordan almonds again, I won't be sorry. But for our wedding we did personalized pint glasses. The guests could use them at the wedding (or not) and take them home. Nice, and useful. Some folks left theirs (more for us!) but a lot of people took theirs home, and my parents had us bring them a pair when they realized they'd forgotten theirs. :-)
Title: Re: Wedding/Shower/Whatever Party Favors . . . Thoughts?
Post by: heyyoume on October 17, 2013, 09:19:56 PM
The best I saw were "nuptial nuts".  The couple (who had a large walnut tree) had printed little wedding sayings and folded these up with a chocolate and put them into walnut shells.  It looked like a walnut tied with ribbon at everyone's place.  They were great icebreakers at the tables where we didn't already know each other.  Some of the phrases were hilarious.   
Title: Re: Wedding/Shower/Whatever Party Favors . . . Thoughts?
Post by: Lynn2000 on October 17, 2013, 09:20:29 PM
I wouldn't miss them if an event didn't have them. I think of them more as part of the decor--we don't really need chair bows or centerpieces either but they look pretty when everything is all set up, and I think they can add to the atmosphere, especially the more clever ones that match the event's overall theme. IME shower favors tend to be a bit more fun and casual than wedding favors, which often run towards bland yet dignified.

I think if people are going to do them, they should try to come up with something unique, personalized, and useful. Of course "useful" is in the eye of the beholder. Small is also good. If it's small enough and has the couple's name and the date on it, I probably will keep it, and remember them whenever I glance at it. I'm cool with this. But, if they didn't provide a personalized favor, I would probably keep the invitation or something anyway as a memento, so it's not exactly necessary.

Alternately, they should be edible, and good. If you're going to spend the money on them, get real M&M's or Hershey's kisses or Jelly Bellies (at least, *I* think those are yummy) and not the generic ones. Quality over quantity.

For people who like giving favors, I feel like they do think of them as a little extra "thank you," something that the guests can take home as most receptions don't let you take doggie bags of food away. If it's something edible and yummy, I always gobble mine up right away, but I feel a little gauche doing so, like I was supposed to take it home first.

Storytime: When my friend Amy was planning her wedding, she felt that of course, she needed to have favors. But then, she had the brilliant idea of making a donation to a charity with the favor budget instead. So then she didn't need to buy actual favors, but she spent extra money printing up little info sheets about the charity to put at each place setting instead, telling people what a wonderful thing she'd done by donating this money. Then, the wedding ran over budget, so she repurposed the donation money to pay for something else, like the cake or the dress. There wasn't anything tangible attached to it, see, so she could use it for something else. It was only several months after the wedding--with some nagging from her mom--that she actually made the promised donation to the charity.

Now this is what I think about whenever I see that someone has done a charitable donation as a party favor. "Did they really donate that money, or are they just telling me they did?"  :P
Title: Re: Wedding/Shower/Whatever Party Favors . . . Thoughts?
Post by: WillyNilly on October 17, 2013, 10:29:35 PM
The best party favors I've ever gotten... hmmm, I do like cookies. I got an egg timer from a baby shower once and thats pretty handy - I keep in the bathroom and use it to time my hair dye sine I don't have clock in there and don't wear a watch while dying since I'm about to jump into the shower. A friend gave out very nice ceramic dual serving dishes for her wedding, I would think it was awesome except I have about 6 already.
(like this but a different, more classic design on it)
(http://img0.etsystatic.com/014/1/6634669/il_340x270.421645258_a66m.jpg)

My wedding favor was mini whisks (because I like to cook) and personalized pens (because DH is a writer). It was a pen for everyone (hey who can't use a pen?!?!) and the whisks were 1 per couple. None were left after the wedding so I guess people liked them. Actually I know at least a few people liked the whisk because occasionally people still come up to me and say "you know that whisk? Its great for (eggs, hot cocoa, whatever)."

As for least favorite, well I can't stand jordan almonds although I guess the history/symbolism is cute. And once I got a small (about big enough for 2 Hershey's kisses) real silver box engraved with the couple's names and wedding date. Its real silver so a shame to just toss, but to small for much plus engraved with someone elses names and wedding date so not something I particularly care to keep and display (and now, 6 years later they are divorced anyway)... I think I donated it to charity figuring someone might want it just for the silver.
(http://www-static.weddingbee.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/14/13009na-l.jpg)
Title: Re: Wedding/Shower/Whatever Party Favors . . . Thoughts?
Post by: Luci on October 17, 2013, 10:30:30 PM
Best: Chocolates from a specialty shop.

Worst: Little clay herb pots to be used as a votive candle burner with the couple's names and date on it. I know they went to a lot of work making them, but I was really happy when the kids we roughhousing and it broke. We only brought one home, to be polite.
           3X2 picture frames used for our placecards. Not our style, but not personalized, so we took ours and the others accidentally left behind ::) and gave a bunch to the charity shop. That might have been really cool for someone!

Before our 40th anniversary party, big bash given by our kids, our daughter had won at an auction personlized pens. She had them printed  with "Celebrating 40 years together// <3 Luci & Lucas <3//You are a special part of our lives. //Thank you."  I still come upon some people using them.

Um, <3 is a heart on Facebook.  :)

Martha Stewart once made very elaborate boxes, and then gave suggestions for etched silver boxes with the names and dates on them through commercial company at $$$ bucks apiece. I think that is when I gave up on her.
           
Title: Re: Wedding/Shower/Whatever Party Favors . . . Thoughts?
Post by: Fritokal on October 18, 2013, 12:27:33 AM
What is the point behind party favors? Is it meant to be a simple TY for attending? or is it suppose to be a something for your guests to remember this special day?

What are your thoughts?

(snipping the rest since this is the question I'm answering)

I feel like favors should be a combination of a little fun thank you for attending, and a something for guests to remember the special day. My personal favorites (and what I've used as inspiration in the past) have combined a little bit of both ideas together.

1) Something little and consumable - for my wedding we did M&M's in the wedding colors, I've gotten a truffle or decorated cookie before, a little mini shaped soap (that thing lived in my go bag for ages, because it was the perfect run-out-the-door size)

2) Something that acts as a time/date/place keepsake - a single visible memory of the day, variable depending on budget and size of the crowd. A magnet, a christmas decoration, a photograph and frame - it really depends.  My personal favorites are CD mixes, because I'm a child of the mixtape era, and it's fairly simple and creative to make a playlist of songs and a "cd cover' and burn and print.
2a) BONUS! A unique memento of the day - depending on the theme, something quirky - a friend did off-season magnets (she hosted a spring baby shower, but gave out christmas ornaments and halloween magnets. It made TOTAL sense at the time given the friend she was throwing it for.)  We attached red plastic spoons to our wedding favors because the spoon was a symbol of something unique to our ceremony, I got a cake decorating tip and measuring spoon as a bridal shower favor once (again, it made 100% sense in context)

I think favors should be both a momento AND somehing and consumable. Hit both the immediate "YAY! That was fun!" note, and also the longer-term memories.
Title: Re: Wedding/Shower/Whatever Party Favors . . . Thoughts?
Post by: Library Dragon on October 18, 2013, 01:21:06 AM
I don't care about nor do I need a favor.  My family didn't give out favors at weddings.  DH's large Italian-American family do and will talk bad about the bride's family if they go "cheap".  In Italy there are stores that specialize in wedding favors. 

My favorite wedding shower favor was the mini-panettone.  MIL was not impressed.

Worst was the glass birds glued onto a mirror.  It broke before I got it home. 

DH and I were married in Belgium so we simplified our lives by having neither side of the family present.  No favors were given out.

When DS2 married we lucked out by finding lovely boxed, ribboned, tea candles in DIL's favorite color at a very low price.  She was able to use any extras as home decor.  The reception theme was polar bears and penguins.  We decorated the tables with these:

http://www.orientaltrading.com/plush-realistic-arctic-animal-bean-bags-a2-4_2623-12-1.fltr?Ntt=penguin (http://www.orientaltrading.com/plush-realistic-arctic-animal-bean-bags-a2-4_2623-12-1.fltr?Ntt=penguin)

Guests could take them and they provided entertainment for the children.  We gave the seals to the story time program as gifts for the students.  Okay, we also had a largish candy buffet.  I'm told the peach flavored penguin gummies were terrific.  DH adores Jordan Almonds, so they were a must.
Title: Re: Wedding/Shower/Whatever Party Favors . . . Thoughts?
Post by: Katana_Geldar on October 18, 2013, 01:39:08 AM
We had small 20-sided dice as wedding favours. We were gamers, met at a gaming convention and many of our friends are gamers. A few people were confused by them so DH explained their significance in his speech.

We had a giant one on the wedding cake along with Mickey and Minnie.
Title: Re: Wedding/Shower/Whatever Party Favors . . . Thoughts?
Post by: peaches on October 18, 2013, 02:42:53 AM
I hate them. I used to be neutral on the topic. But the more people have them, the more people will think they need to have them. KWIM? They add expense and work to an event, without adding much else. I feel that people putting on a shower or planning a wedding reception have enough to worry about.

Title: Re: Wedding/Shower/Whatever Party Favors . . . Thoughts?
Post by: menley on October 18, 2013, 04:24:11 AM
I'm firmly anti-favor, yet we had them at my wedding because my mother was horrified at the thought that a daughter of hers wouldn't give favors at her party! ::) At least she did them herself and they were really yummy homemade chocolates, so most people seemed to enjoy them.

My number one pet peeve is something engraved with the names of the couple and their wedding date. I've received wine glasses, picture frames, coasters, matchbooks, shot glasses, tote bags... you name it. And frankly, I have thrown them away or donated them to charity. I don't like picture frames with writing on them, and what am I going to do with a frame with other people's names on it other than put a picture of them in it? That might be fine if it was my sister or something, but do I really want a framed wedding picture of my husband's coworker? No. Same for the monogrammed wine glasses and coasters... I already have my matching sets of coasters and wine glasses that I prefer, that don't have names scrawled on them. The only non-food favors I've kept are matchbooks because my husband uses them to light candles.
Title: Re: Wedding/Shower/Whatever Party Favors . . . Thoughts?
Post by: HGolightly on October 18, 2013, 08:26:11 AM
In our family we have had homemade jams, playing cards and hot chocolate (with chocolate spoons and mini marshmallows). Useful, consumeable and not a forever thing. Friends had a Christmas wedding and gave out pink candy canes with a tag saying they made a donation in lieu of favours to our local breast cancer charity in honour of one of the moms.
Title: Re: Wedding/Shower/Whatever Party Favors . . . Thoughts?
Post by: Thipu1 on October 18, 2013, 08:42:32 AM
When niece got married she and her DH had a great idea.  Our place 'cards' were also favors. 

Each table at the reception had a theme.  The table for Grandparents and Parents was 'Wisdom'.  The children's table was 'Giggles'.  Our table was 'Laughter'. 

The place markers were water-rounded stones from streams.  The name of the table was written on one side in gold ink and our names were written on the other. 

They're convenient paperweights and bring back the memory of a happy occasion. 
Title: Re: Wedding/Shower/Whatever Party Favors . . . Thoughts?
Post by: #borecore on October 18, 2013, 09:01:59 AM
My least favorite favors are all the junk we were expected to bring home from incredibly over-the-top bar mitzvahs in my family. I admit to liking the caricature artists, or the photo to take home, but the blow-up guitars, goofy sunglasses, T-shirts in the wrong size with "JOE'S BAR MITZVAH" on them, the singing lobster centerpiece we were begged to take, the candy, the mardi gras beads, etc. ... just too much!

We gave all our guests from out of town "welcome bags" (homemade chocolate cookies, trail mix, candy, pretzels and bottled water with our personalized label on it, plus an itinerary and a map, and a city brochure). The bag was paper with a cute bow and matching label, and there was nothing to take home with you unless you wanted to eat some on the plane. We gave them out as people left our welcome dinner (Friday night, when most people were getting into town).

I have gotten very few favors I felt like were something I'd want to keep around. I like chocolate or something non-personalized, small, and useful, but I do not actually go to an event wanting a favor!

Some good, memorable ones: I made little wooden, painted boxes with decoupaged flowers on top and felt liners that family members are still using 18 years later for my one aunt's baby shower.

Another aunt's shower, we painted terra cotta flower pots with daisies, and used them as utensil/napkin holders on the placesettings. Those are still being used on back patios nationwide, 16 years later. :)
Title: Re: Wedding/Shower/Whatever Party Favors . . . Thoughts?
Post by: Lynn2000 on October 18, 2013, 09:34:37 AM
One of my cousins had a Christmas wedding and the favors were Christmas ornaments--just a round ball, silver and gold, with their names and the date on it. For us that worked well and my parents put it on their tree every year along with our other ornaments.

I think part of the appeal of favors for organizers is that some of us like the idea of buying lots of little small things in a theme and putting them together in a bag. :D At one of my mom's jobs she always gave out "treat baskets" to her employees at the holidays and we always had so much fun going to different stores looking for small containers, choosing pens, candy, post-it notes, etc., then divvying them up and arranging them. Part of me kind of salivates at having an excuse to go to Oriental Trading Company and buy some large assortments of THINGS and sort them. :P I could have a lot of fun preparing for, say, an undersea-themed baby shower... maybe more fun than the guests would have receiving the favors, who knows! ;)

But if you don't get that kind of kick out of preparing the favors and/or don't want to spend money on that, I personally probably wouldn't even notice their absence. The little whisks and pens sound like a great idea to me--something meaningful to the couple, that they were excited about sharing--not just one more money-consuming thing to check off the list.
Title: Re: Wedding/Shower/Whatever Party Favors . . . Thoughts?
Post by: Betelnut on October 18, 2013, 10:22:25 AM
Not necessary and definitely not expected.

But...if the favor is really nice, of course I like it!  FOOD is the best then something practical.

I have no problems with tossing something if it isn't practical and won't be used so any favor is okay since the most work I will need to do is walk toward the trashcan if I don't like it.
Title: Re: Wedding/Shower/Whatever Party Favors . . . Thoughts?
Post by: guihong on October 18, 2013, 10:53:20 AM
We had bookmarks in the wedding colors, but looking back they were just another expense and not necessary.  I don't even know what happened to the extra ones ;).
Title: Re: Wedding/Shower/Whatever Party Favors . . . Thoughts?
Post by: rose red on October 18, 2013, 12:33:35 PM
I'm one of the few who likes favors, receiving and giving.  I don't need one, but like it if it happens to be there.

The best was a set of crystal dessert glasses.

The worst was a glass heart shaped paperweight.  It's actually cute and I would have used it, expect it had the HC's name and wedding date engraved on it.  I don't like things with distant relatives names on it.
Title: Re: Wedding/Shower/Whatever Party Favors . . . Thoughts?
Post by: Jocelyn on October 18, 2013, 12:40:24 PM
I'm not fond of them, especially if they leave me wondering 'what the heck will I do with this?'
I don't think I'd miss them if a HC didn't have them, but then, I well remember a time before everyone started giving them out.  ;D
The only ones I really liked were bookmarks made by the HC. They included the extras in thank-you notes.
Title: Re: Wedding/Shower/Whatever Party Favors . . . Thoughts?
Post by: Sophia on October 18, 2013, 12:44:00 PM
I hate them.  Even when they are well meant.  And I always feel like I must take them home or I will hurt the feelings of the hosts.  With edible ones, I usually eat them before dinner and it would have been better to just put a bowl out with them.  Or scattered the table with them. 

I think with weddings they are usually done because there is this checkbox that must be completed.  The question is asked, "What are you doing for wedding favors?"  Just like the officiant asks "What reading(s) would you like?"  The assumption is that there will be one, it is just a matter of figuring out which. 

With kid's parties I think the reason is to not appear cheap. 
Title: Re: Wedding/Shower/Whatever Party Favors . . . Thoughts?
Post by: GlitterIsMyDrug on October 18, 2013, 12:51:29 PM
I don't mind them, I don't think they're necessary but if they're there I'm not bothered by them. Even if it's not something I'll really use...goodwill always needs donations.

For our wedding we're thinking of doing scratch off lotto tickets for everyone. Hey, scratching is fun and you might win a lot (or nothing). Or we'll do something edible. I don't see much point and doing "Glitter and Partner forever!" with whatever our wedding date will be. We're also discussing a candy bar. We loved the idea of handing out mini-whiskey bottles (on our first date we realized we both are girls who love a whiskey), but when we thought of the people who don't drink, who are underage, who don't like whiskey, we decided it was too much work.

I will say most of them time when I plan a "something", there will be some little favor. Usually some candies, maybe a little trinket to take along with. I like giving them.

The worst I ever got was a beer cozy. Mostly because it was terribly made and began to disintegrate upon use (yes, I used it, everyone likes a cold beer). I loved what my BFF did, they had a Christmas themed wedding and put up a fake tree, hung red and green ornaments on it and invited everyone to come and take some home (they had a ton of ornaments compared to guests). They just say "Merry Christmas from the LastNames" and the year on them. Of course, she's my BFF, so I like remembering her wedding day. And putting a momentum up on the tree is nice.
Title: Re: Wedding/Shower/Whatever Party Favors . . . Thoughts?
Post by: shhh its me on October 18, 2013, 01:14:13 PM
  I actually really like jordan almonds so I wish those would come back in style.   I didn't mind when there were embossed matchbooks at every wedding because there were so small even if you had 500 collected over the years it still wouldn't take up more space then a shoe box.

I dislike the engraved wine glasses and picture frames the most ...what am I really going to do with one whine glass with your name on it ?  Although if every single couple gave out wine glasses and I will still friends with them all 15 years later and they were all still married it might be cool to have a party ans use all the hodge podge of wedding wine glasses :) but since only like 2 people I know did the wine glass thing  it will be a really small party.   Lots of people did the little picture frames the un- engraved ones weren't that bad considering functioned as place holders too but not a single coordinated with my decor or the frames I already had.  I think I would have liked if a couple had combined the photo booth and engraved frames (of course that's assuming the photo booth printed photos the correct size for the frames)

The things I like the most are edible.

The things I keep the longest were things you could always use one more of  like a deck of playing cards , pens and for me personally fridge magnets (but if everyone did magnets I wouldn't keep them since I only have a few I have room for them)
Title: Re: Wedding/Shower/Whatever Party Favors . . . Thoughts?
Post by: lilfox on October 18, 2013, 01:35:38 PM
I could take them or leave them - engraved things have the least use, food is almost always the best option.  My favorite favors have been the personalized mix CD and the handcrafted wooden pen.

We had favors at my wedding because my mom ordered them as a surprise.  Which was actually okay with me, just not something I would have thought of (or done) on my own.  Fortunately she stayed pretty simple - cocktail napkins in blue and white embossed with our initials (these were used during the cocktail hour) and white matchbooks also embossed with our initials.  And since it was in Hawaii, we gave out leis before the ceremony.

Ours was a destination wedding, and several others I went to were also destinations, so the "thing" was to create a welcome goody bag for each guest/couple/family, received when they checked in to their hotels, with some items that might be useful - suntan spray, guidebook to the area, water bottles, local snack or candy, themed playing cards, mini bottles of (local) liquors.  Hopefully our guests found them useful, and I really liked getting these at the other destination weddings.
Title: Re: Wedding/Shower/Whatever Party Favors . . . Thoughts?
Post by: workerbee on October 18, 2013, 01:46:39 PM
I think favors should be consumable - little truffles or cookies, mints, etc. Candles are fine, although I wouldn't use them. I really loathe the non-consumable 'favors' engraved with the couples' name and wedding date.  You're not doing me any favors!  ;) I guess I'm just unsentimental, but I'm just not interested in having those glasses, frames, knick-knacks around my house, and it seems like a colossal waste of money.

The worst wedding favor was a friend of my husband's who gave out glass coaster sets with pictures of the happy couple. We just were not close enough that we would use those as part of our decor! At the same time, I felt terrible sending them to Goodwill -- if the couple shopped there, what would they think?!? And it would be such a waste to throw them away. Honestly, they're probably buried in a box somewhere in our house, for some future generation to dig out and wonder, "who ARE these people and why did Grandma and Grandpa workerbee have coasters with their pictures?"

Now that I think about it, there was a trend for a while of giving drink "coozies" with the couple's name and wedding date - I guess those could be an exception because we've managed touse them pretty regularly.  :P
Title: Re: Wedding/Shower/Whatever Party Favors . . . Thoughts?
Post by: Sophia on October 18, 2013, 02:28:12 PM
A really nice pen.  Even grumpy anti-favor me could get behind a nice pen. 
Title: Re: Wedding/Shower/Whatever Party Favors . . . Thoughts?
Post by: lowspark on October 18, 2013, 02:38:10 PM
Put me firmly in the camp of "no favors needed". I don't want them, and those I've ended up with, unless they are something consumable, pretty much end up in the trash. Consumable favors are fine, but really really not necessary.

I never give them out. In fact, I honestly don't even think I gave kid party favors for my sons' birthday parties when they were kids. It's just such a total waste of money and effort for something that almost no one cares about. And it seems to me that the very few who think, "oh cool! party favors" would actually get upset or even disappointed if there aren't any.

In my opinion, money that would have gone to favors is much better spent on the party itself. I love to host and go to some effort and expense when I do. I'd rather not sacrifice serving a nice wine, for example, so that I could send everyone home with a chocolate bar. Instead of thanking the guests (if that's the idea) with a favor, I'd rather thank them by hosting a great party with good food, drink and company. Because those things are what the party is about, not some trinket that has no meaning to the guests and that they will need to figure out what to do with later.
Title: Re: Wedding/Shower/Whatever Party Favors . . . Thoughts?
Post by: It's good to be Queen on October 18, 2013, 02:48:55 PM
While I don't think favors are necessary, I used to love those little tulle packages of Jordon almonds when I was a kid!  Another cute one was a candy bar with a custom wrapper.  But the best was half bottles of wine, labeled with a picture of the couple and their wedding date.  The groom's father owned a winery so they did those special bottles as favors.
Title: Re: Wedding/Shower/Whatever Party Favors . . . Thoughts?
Post by: audrey1962 on October 18, 2013, 03:02:44 PM
Best: a miniature bottle of wine with the couple's name and the date on it

Everything else just falls under "can't remember," however, I do have a fondness for Jordan almonds as they are very traditional here.
Title: Re: Wedding/Shower/Whatever Party Favors . . . Thoughts?
Post by: Blondie on October 18, 2013, 03:48:42 PM
We are doing home brewed beer for ours (no one under 21 in attendance) I don't care if you drink it during or after the ceremony. Heck, I am HOPING a bunch of people don't want theirs, as the wedding party is more than happy to drink it at the after party  >:D (the groomsmen brew with us and my sisters are beer snobs too)
Title: Re: Wedding/Shower/Whatever Party Favors . . . Thoughts?
Post by: MrTango on October 18, 2013, 03:58:32 PM
We did custom-printed fortune cookies.  I think that they were about $0.25 each.  We had two lines from our first-dance song and two lines from the readings we used at the weddings (so four "fortunes" that were randomly scattered around.
Title: Re: Wedding/Shower/Whatever Party Favors . . . Thoughts?
Post by: jedikaiti on October 18, 2013, 04:46:46 PM
We are doing home brewed beer for ours (no one under 21 in attendance) I don't care if you drink it during or after the ceremony. Heck, I am HOPING a bunch of people don't want theirs, as the wedding party is more than happy to drink it at the after party  >:D (the groomsmen brew with us and my sisters are beer snobs too)

Our pint glasses went along with the homebrew we served at our wedding. :-)
Title: Re: Wedding/Shower/Whatever Party Favors . . . Thoughts?
Post by: LadyL on October 18, 2013, 05:24:24 PM
Don't care about them and aren't doing them for our wedding. We felt the money was better spent offering more options at the bar  >:D
Title: Re: Wedding/Shower/Whatever Party Favors . . . Thoughts?
Post by: GlitterIsMyDrug on October 18, 2013, 05:31:49 PM
I will say for our budget, much as I like handing out favors, it didn't make the priority list and will be one of the first things cut if need be. Right now we're not thinking it'll cost too much to take care of, but it's not a must for us. Our musts are an amazing band (we have one we'd love and 2 that we'd like), great food, and plenty of booze.
Title: Re: Wedding/Shower/Whatever Party Favors . . . Thoughts?
Post by: flickan on October 18, 2013, 05:48:17 PM
I think they're useless most of the time.  I wish matchbooks for weddings would come back into vogue because I do love to collect them when I can.  If we had done them for ours we would have done matchbooks in a hot minute.

The best I've ever gotten was a shotglass.

The worst was one of these: http://www.nicepricefavors.com/p-4203.htm (http://www.nicepricefavors.com/p-4203.htm)

It still sits in it's packaging in a kitchen drawer for laughs.  We call it the "love knife".  I don't think the bride and groom thought this one through.  You throw a wedding with an open bar and then you offer a sharp weapon to all of your guests?  I can see that going south quickly in the wrong crowd.

Title: Re: Wedding/Shower/Whatever Party Favors . . . Thoughts?
Post by: Katana_Geldar on October 18, 2013, 06:27:38 PM
Giving knives as gifts is also bad luck.
Title: Re: Wedding/Shower/Whatever Party Favors . . . Thoughts?
Post by: ebrochu on October 18, 2013, 07:42:33 PM
I too am in the favours, take em or leave them camp.

That being said, I did end up having favours for my wedding.

My guest list was so small (45 people) that I was able to splurge a bit on the gifts to others.

I had about 6 kids at the wedding, so each one got a basket of neat stuff (simple toys, colouring books and dolls, stuff like that.) made them feel important, but also they got to have fun while all the adults were busy. Plus they had a bowl in the middle of the table with about 120 coloured pencils they could use, then divide up after.

I made all my table decorations. rectangular vases, filled with assorted coloured stones and aquarium gravel, with 1 large pillar candle in the middle. 8 tables, each had 3. None left at the end of the night. (I had told people to take them if they wanted them)

Also made topiaries (dowling, plant pot, foam, foam ball, and those small fake roses) same number as the vases, none left at the end.

And then the actual favours for each person were small metal buckets, painted orange, with our names and wedding date written on in gold sharpie. Filled with popular candies (werthers, mints, chocolates) and 3 small unscented candles. Again, none left at the end of the night.

So, I guess that most of the stuff I did was useful in the end (the vases were very pretty, the topiaries were just cute, and who doesn't love candies and regualr candles? Plus, the bucket only had writing on the one side, so turn it around, and no one's the wiser.
Title: Re: Wedding/Shower/Whatever Party Favors . . . Thoughts?
Post by: jedikaiti on October 18, 2013, 08:00:16 PM
Giving knives as gifts is also bad luck.

Unless you're giving it to a chef, in which case it's a ticket to a good meal. :-)
Title: Re: Wedding/Shower/Whatever Party Favors . . . Thoughts?
Post by: kareng57 on October 18, 2013, 10:03:44 PM
I'm firmly anti-favor, yet we had them at my wedding because my mother was horrified at the thought that a daughter of hers wouldn't give favors at her party! ::) At least she did them herself and they were really yummy homemade chocolates, so most people seemed to enjoy them.

My number one pet peeve is something engraved with the names of the couple and their wedding date. I've received wine glasses, picture frames, coasters, matchbooks, shot glasses, tote bags... you name it. And frankly, I have thrown them away or donated them to charity. I don't like picture frames with writing on them, and what am I going to do with a frame with other people's names on it other than put a picture of them in it? That might be fine if it was my sister or something, but do I really want a framed wedding picture of my husband's coworker? No. Same for the monogrammed wine glasses and coasters... I already have my matching sets of coasters and wine glasses that I prefer, that don't have names scrawled on them. The only non-food favors I've kept are matchbooks because my husband uses them to light candles.


Even donating these items to charities isn't always a win-win situation.  I volunteer at a charity thrift-shop and you wouldn't believe the number of engraved shot-glasses that we get, such as "Cheryl and Dave, September 14 2010".  Honestly, they don't sell even for a few cents and we generally have to discard them.  Really, if Cheryl and Dave's friends don't want the "favour", why would perfect strangers?  I'm in the "don't notice favours at all" camp.

I too think that consumables are the best bet if a HC insists on wedding favours.  However, while the half-bottles of hand-bottled wine might seem to be a nice idea, it too is not foolproof.  The venue where DS #1 is having his wedding next year is very clear that the only food/drink allowable from "outside" is a wedding cake.
Title: Re: Wedding/Shower/Whatever Party Favors . . . Thoughts?
Post by: CakeEater on October 19, 2013, 06:07:28 AM
We had wrapped chocolates strewn over the tables at our reception. No-one could know who had eaten theirs or not, because they weren't assigned to a person, and a few people collected the leftovers at the end of the night to take home.

I have no problem throwing away knick knacks of any kind, even wedding favours, so mostly that's what I do.

When I was in my very early twenties, a friend was married who was a mechanic, and all the male guests got a little pull back toy car. Our table had lots of fun shooting cars across the table at each other. But now I'm 35, I wouldn't do that at a wedding, so an idea that was cute and fun for a youngish crowd would fall pretty flat for me now. Although now I'd take them home for my kids, so maybe it would still be OK!
Title: Re: Wedding/Shower/Whatever Party Favors . . . Thoughts?
Post by: menley on October 19, 2013, 07:15:00 AM
I'm firmly anti-favor, yet we had them at my wedding because my mother was horrified at the thought that a daughter of hers wouldn't give favors at her party! ::) At least she did them herself and they were really yummy homemade chocolates, so most people seemed to enjoy them.

My number one pet peeve is something engraved with the names of the couple and their wedding date. I've received wine glasses, picture frames, coasters, matchbooks, shot glasses, tote bags... you name it. And frankly, I have thrown them away or donated them to charity. I don't like picture frames with writing on them, and what am I going to do with a frame with other people's names on it other than put a picture of them in it? That might be fine if it was my sister or something, but do I really want a framed wedding picture of my husband's coworker? No. Same for the monogrammed wine glasses and coasters... I already have my matching sets of coasters and wine glasses that I prefer, that don't have names scrawled on them. The only non-food favors I've kept are matchbooks because my husband uses them to light candles.


Even donating these items to charities isn't always a win-win situation.  I volunteer at a charity thrift-shop and you wouldn't believe the number of engraved shot-glasses that we get, such as "Cheryl and Dave, September 14 2010".  Honestly, they don't sell even for a few cents and we generally have to discard them.  Really, if Cheryl and Dave's friends don't want the "favour", why would perfect strangers?  I'm in the "don't notice favours at all" camp.

I too think that consumables are the best bet if a HC insists on wedding favours.  However, while the half-bottles of hand-bottled wine might seem to be a nice idea, it too is not foolproof.  The venue where DS #1 is having his wedding next year is very clear that the only food/drink allowable from "outside" is a wedding cake.

Oh yes, I should've been more specific. There are a few that we received that were initials only - for example, a set of wineglasses, one with the bride's first initial and one with the groom's. So those I donated, because while I have no need for a wineglass with the letter C on it, someone else might. Anything that's more specific (multiple initials, or names and dates) gets tossed unless I can somehow take off the personalization or put it in the recycling.
Title: Re: Wedding/Shower/Whatever Party Favors . . . Thoughts?
Post by: POF on October 19, 2013, 07:34:23 AM
We made little message holders - took a small glazed tile and stenciled it with a design in our wedding colors and it was glued to a silvery clothepin type thing ( OK DH made this .... I am so not crafty ).  They were the place cards for the tables and you took them.  I know several people who still use them....

We also took small wine bottles and put a personalized label on them. 
Title: Re: Wedding/Shower/Whatever Party Favors . . . Thoughts?
Post by: flickan on October 19, 2013, 08:37:35 AM
Even donating these items to charities isn't always a win-win situation.  I volunteer at a charity thrift-shop and you wouldn't believe the number of engraved shot-glasses that we get, such as "Cheryl and Dave, September 14 2010".  Honestly, they don't sell even for a few cents and we generally have to discard them.  Really, if Cheryl and Dave's friends don't want the "favour", why would perfect strangers?  I'm in the "don't notice favours at all" camp.

I'm the one weirdo that buys those things out of the thirft stores  ;D

I'm working on getting a full set of wine glasses with other people's names engraved on them.  I get a huge kick out of it.  I've even got a great glass for bubbly which was engraved with the name of a priest on what I assume was the date he was ordained?  Or maybe another big event?  I'm not sure I could explain the appeal.  It's something about preserving the history that other people want to throw away.  It's very personal history.  Like the photographs you buy at antique shops (I purchase those too and sometimes frame them)
Title: Re: Wedding/Shower/Whatever Party Favors . . . Thoughts?
Post by: yachtchick on October 19, 2013, 01:19:03 PM
Now that idea - glasses with other peoples names and dates on them - is right up my alley.
Title: Re: Wedding/Shower/Whatever Party Favors . . . Thoughts?
Post by: daen on October 21, 2013, 08:29:46 PM
My sister  wasn't interested in the pastel mints that were the usual favors in our area at the time of her wedding, so she wasn't going to have any at all. A week or two before the wedding, she realized that pastel mints weren't the only option. Smarties (the Canadian kind, which are basically m&m's without the m's printed on them) were significant to her and her fiance, so we bought Smarties in bulk. We also bought tissue and curling ribbon in wedding colors, and bought a sleeve of creamer containers from the local dairy. Fill the creamer container with Smarties, cover the open mouth with a square of tissue paper, and tie the corners together behind the base. Voila! a little "wedding bell" with tasty candies.

I don't know if my younger sister ever gave a thought to omitting favors at all. She had a small wedding, though, so she folded origami swans (which her husband carefully personalized with their names and the date), and tucked an individually-wrapped slice of Terry's Chocolate Orange into each wing.  The wedding photo collection includes a series of pics of my uncle carefully unfolding the swan to see how it was constructed.

At my wedding, we gave out fridge magnets with our picture and contact information on it (address, email addresses, and phone number), and a small packet of pansy seed. We had pansies as a part of our centerpieces. We still have lots of pansy seed (that will have a poor germination rate by now, poor things) and a lot of fridge magnets left over, but I did notice that friends who married six months after us also gave personalized fridge magnets as favors.

All that being said, I find that favors are mostly useless and awkward, because it's hard to come up with something that is to everyone's taste. Consumables are the exception.
Title: Re: Wedding/Shower/Whatever Party Favors . . . Thoughts?
Post by: workerbee on October 22, 2013, 09:49:24 AM
Even donating these items to charities isn't always a win-win situation.  I volunteer at a charity thrift-shop and you wouldn't believe the number of engraved shot-glasses that we get, such as "Cheryl and Dave, September 14 2010".  Honestly, they don't sell even for a few cents and we generally have to discard them.  Really, if Cheryl and Dave's friends don't want the "favour", why would perfect strangers?  I'm in the "don't notice favours at all" camp.

I'm the one weirdo that buys those things out of the thirft stores  ;D

I'm working on getting a full set of wine glasses with other people's names engraved on them.  I get a huge kick out of it.  I've even got a great glass for bubbly which was engraved with the name of a priest on what I assume was the date he was ordained?  Or maybe another big event?  I'm not sure I could explain the appeal.  It's something about preserving the history that other people want to throw away.  It's very personal history.  Like the photographs you buy at antique shops (I purchase those too and sometimes frame them)

I love this! I'm not a collector at all, so I wouldn't do it myself, but I would get a big kick out of going to a party where the drinks were served in a variety of engraved glassware! Plus it's a good way to keep track of your drink -- oh, you're "Martha and Jeff 4-ever 1982"?

We have a local breakfast place that serves coffee in a mishmash of mugs, clearly collected from the local thrift stores. It gives the place such a fun vibe.
Title: Re: Wedding/Shower/Whatever Party Favors . . . Thoughts?
Post by: Thipu1 on October 22, 2013, 10:08:15 AM
Now that idea - glasses with other peoples names and dates on them - is right up my alley.

I'd also dearly love that sort of thing. 

It would be fun to have a dinner party and ask guests to make up a story about the Wedding of 'Jack and Diane' or 'Tony and Tina'.  What was a Wedding like in 1972?  Did they have kids?  Did the marriage last?  Where are they now? 

Imaginative minds could create great stories for these people we've never seen. 

Title: Re: Wedding/Shower/Whatever Party Favors . . . Thoughts?
Post by: heartmug on October 22, 2013, 10:58:47 AM
LOL!  What a fun idea!  I can imagine being at a party where the host asks "Who had the Dan and Diane 1990 glass?  You left it on the patio."

I like getting candles as favors - they are useful to me.

My dd had small picture frames with your name on a piece of wedding paper (gold rings imprinted on the background) slipped inside to show where you were sitting.
Title: Re: Wedding/Shower/Whatever Party Favors . . . Thoughts?
Post by: GregariousIntrovert on October 22, 2013, 01:57:36 PM
I've been to/heard about several weddings now where they rent a photo booth and fill it with fun props and costume things.  Your printed out pictures serve as a favor.  It's nice to get a nice picture of Dh and I all dressed up having fun and serves as a nice memory of the day.  Plus I can just stick it in a photo album.  Otherwise, something edible or nothing is the only favor I care to get. 
Title: Re: Wedding/Shower/Whatever Party Favors . . . Thoughts?
Post by: lowspark on October 22, 2013, 02:09:17 PM
I've been to/heard about several weddings now where they rent a photo booth and fill it with fun props and costume things.  Your printed out pictures serve as a favor.  It's nice to get a nice picture of Dh and I all dressed up having fun and serves as a nice memory of the day.  Plus I can just stick it in a photo album.  Otherwise, something edible or nothing is the only favor I care to get.

We just went to a wedding recently that had this. It was fun and we had a good time messing around in the photo booth with different friends at the wedding. But if you put a gun to my head and asked me where those pictures are now, I couldn't tell you.
Title: Re: Wedding/Shower/Whatever Party Favors . . . Thoughts?
Post by: GlitterIsMyDrug on October 22, 2013, 02:14:02 PM
I've been to/heard about several weddings now where they rent a photo booth and fill it with fun props and costume things.  Your printed out pictures serve as a favor.  It's nice to get a nice picture of Dh and I all dressed up having fun and serves as a nice memory of the day.  Plus I can just stick it in a photo album.  Otherwise, something edible or nothing is the only favor I care to get.

We just went to a wedding recently that had this. It was fun and we had a good time messing around in the photo booth with different friends at the wedding. But if you put a gun to my head and asked me where those pictures are now, I couldn't tell you.

We've talked about doing this at our wedding (some of them "save" one for the couple to have too), I love goofy pics and snapshots. Seriously, I wish the having disposable cameras on the table hadn't fallen out of fashion, I'd rather fun snapshots from my friends over posed and stiff any day of the week (as it is we plan on telling the wedding photog to go candid over posed, a few posed is fine, but I'd rather look natural).
Title: Re: Wedding/Shower/Whatever Party Favors . . . Thoughts?
Post by: #borecore on October 22, 2013, 02:19:47 PM
For what it's worth (a lot, since we didn't pay a pro photographer!), we did do disposable cameras on the tables at our wedding. They worked out to $2/$3 each on Amazon for "cute" cameras, plus another $3 or so each for developing. The main complications were that one roll turned out terrible (all gray) and it was a small hassle to find a local film processor, but otherwise, I was thrilled with it. And with doubles, we could send them out to our guests with our thank-yous.

If you do it, I suggest putting a note with each camera about how to use it (some of our younger guests had forgotten or never knew) and what to do with it when they're done.
Title: Re: Wedding/Shower/Whatever Party Favors . . . Thoughts?
Post by: jedikaiti on October 22, 2013, 02:59:08 PM
I've been to/heard about several weddings now where they rent a photo booth and fill it with fun props and costume things.  Your printed out pictures serve as a favor.  It's nice to get a nice picture of Dh and I all dressed up having fun and serves as a nice memory of the day.  Plus I can just stick it in a photo album.  Otherwise, something edible or nothing is the only favor I care to get.

We just went to a wedding recently that had this. It was fun and we had a good time messing around in the photo booth with different friends at the wedding. But if you put a gun to my head and asked me where those pictures are now, I couldn't tell you.

We had a DIY photobooth, but I also saw lots of professional ones at wedding shows - for most of them, they could have it print up 2 copies, one for the folks being photographed, and one to be stuck in a guest book. I thought that was pretty awesome.
Title: Re: Wedding/Shower/Whatever Party Favors . . . Thoughts?
Post by: Desdemona on October 22, 2013, 06:09:22 PM
I've been to/heard about several weddings now where they rent a photo booth and fill it with fun props and costume things.  Your printed out pictures serve as a favor.  It's nice to get a nice picture of Dh and I all dressed up having fun and serves as a nice memory of the day.  Plus I can just stick it in a photo album.  Otherwise, something edible or nothing is the only favor I care to get.

My friend did that at her wedding and it was great. She actually also had frames for the photo booth pictures as favors and to show where everyone was seated. Unfortunately the staff at the reception cleared off all the tables for the end of the reception so I never actually got to use the frame since they took them all.

That was a favor I would have enjoyed because I have some fun photo booth pictures I would love to be able to display.
Title: Re: Wedding/Shower/Whatever Party Favors . . . Thoughts?
Post by: AuntieA on October 24, 2013, 07:08:51 PM
My niece was married in July. For favors, her mother (my KidSis) and the MOG each made up little 3 oz. jars of homemade jam in multiple flavors and covered the lids with a cloth circle which was tied with raffia. There was an oval of cardstock printed with "Spread the Love``, the HC`s names, and the wedding date glued to the front of each jar. Once empty, the oval sticker is removable, and the little jar is handy for holding beads, paperclips, all kinds of small things needing to be corralled.

ETA: there were a lot of favors left over, so my niece told me to help myself. I brought home jars of blackberry, cranberry, strawberry-rhubarb, and blueberry jam. Yummy!
Title: Re: Wedding/Shower/Whatever Party Favors . . . Thoughts?
Post by: lowspark on November 04, 2013, 12:56:08 PM
I went to the wedding of the daughter of a very good friend this weekend. And I didn't even think about favors until I came to work this morning and started reading eHell. Suddenly I thought, "hmmm... were there favors? No, there weren't. Good!"

I didn't miss them at all. The wedding was lovely, there were wonderful appetizers and a delicious dinner and plenty of alcohol and a band and dancing, etc. It was a great party.

Favors were not missed. Certainly not by me, nor by anyone I was hanging around with. Money was better spent on the food, drink, etc. which we all enjoyed that night.
Title: Re: Wedding/Shower/Whatever Party Favors . . . Thoughts?
Post by: TootsNYC on November 04, 2013, 01:07:56 PM
I hate them. I used to be neutral on the topic. But the more people have them, the more people will think they need to have them. KWIM? They add expense and work to an event, without adding much else. I feel that people putting on a shower or planning a wedding reception have enough to worry about.

I KWYM!

I think this often. The whole "welcome baskets in the hotel room" thing--once a couple of people have them, suddenly guests are expecting them, brides feel they have to have them, lots of people say "how can I make my better than theirs were?" and off we go!

My MIL's family (Yugoslavian--think "nearly Italian") will also expect favors--she was planning her anniversary party and I was suggesting candy or maybe even nothing, and she said, "I can't invite them to a party and give them a cheap favor!"
Title: Re: Wedding/Shower/Whatever Party Favors . . . Thoughts?
Post by: peaches on November 04, 2013, 07:26:53 PM
I hate them. I used to be neutral on the topic. But the more people have them, the more people will think they need to have them. KWIM? They add expense and work to an event, without adding much else. I feel that people putting on a shower or planning a wedding reception have enough to worry about.

I KWYM!

I think this often. The whole "welcome baskets in the hotel room" thing--once a couple of people have them, suddenly guests are expecting them, brides feel they have to have them, lots of people say "how can I make my better than theirs were?" and off we go!

My MIL's family (Yugoslavian--think "nearly Italian") will also expect favors--she was planning her anniversary party and I was suggesting candy or maybe even nothing, and she said, "I can't invite them to a party and give them a cheap favor!"

After I wrote my response, I felt that I'd expressed my feelings too strongly, especially after so many people related the clever favors they had come up with. I don't mean to disparage the effort people put into these things.

What I hate is when brides think favors are required.
Title: Re: Wedding/Shower/Whatever Party Favors . . . Thoughts?
Post by: Lynn2000 on November 05, 2013, 09:58:51 AM
Yes, some of the favors people have talked about here have been very clever, and personal to them, and the result of a great deal of thought to make the event reflect their personalities and values. And I think that's awesome, and that the HC/GOH should have fun with them, and feel like they add to the overall atmosphere of the event.

But if it's just like, one more thing to cross off the list--that doesn't seem like much fun to me. So many things about these events are not really required--flowers, chair bows, centerpieces, six forks at each setting, etc.--but people get stressed about them and feel like they must have them, even if they couldn't possibly care less otherwise and don't have much room in their budgets. If you can't think of a cool, "you" favor and you'd rather spend the money on something else, I say go for it. If you can't think of a cool favor but someone else (like a MIL) really wants/expects them and you've got room for it in your budget, I vote for a quality consumable. :)
Title: Re: Wedding/Shower/Whatever Party Favors . . . Thoughts?
Post by: wolfie on November 05, 2013, 11:28:36 AM
I gave out a box of lindt chocolates that were tied shut with a ribbon with our names and the date. Most guests took it home and I was very happy to take home the leftovers.

I do like the favors, but don't miss them if they are gone. Although I really dislike the "I gave your gift to charity instead" thing. Luckily I haven't been faced with that yet.
Title: Re: Wedding/Shower/Whatever Party Favors . . . Thoughts?
Post by: siamesecat2965 on November 05, 2013, 11:58:07 AM
I don't mind them, I don't think they're necessary but if they're there I'm not bothered by them. Even if it's not something I'll really use...goodwill always needs donations.

For our wedding we're thinking of doing scratch off lotto tickets for everyone. Hey, scratching is fun and you might win a lot (or nothing).  We're also discussing a candy bar.  I will say most of them time when I plan a "something", there will be some little favor. Usually some candies, maybe a little trinket to take along with. I like giving them.

 

My friends did this, and it was one of the best favors I've ever gotten. you got it, scratched it, and if you won great, if not, you could chuck it. Another favor was a small box with 2 chocoaltes in it, and a sticker with the HC names and date on top. CHocoalte got eaten and box tossed.

Other than that, I could care less about favors. I went to a whole slew of weddings in the late 80's/early 90's as all my friends tied the knot, and came away with so many matchbooks, and other carp that I simply kept, collecting dust until I chucked them.



Title: Re: Wedding/Shower/Whatever Party Favors . . . Thoughts?
Post by: TootsNYC on November 05, 2013, 12:36:45 PM
For our wedding we're thinking of doing scratch off lotto tickets for everyone. Hey, scratching is fun and you might win a lot (or nothing).  We're also discussing a candy bar.  I will say most of them time when I plan a "something", there will be some little favor. Usually some candies, maybe a little trinket to take along with. I like giving them.
 

My friends did this, and it was one of the best favors I've ever gotten. you got it, scratched it, and if you won great, if not, you could chuck it. Another favor was a small box with 2 chocoaltes in it, and a sticker with the HC names and date on top. CHocoalte got eaten and box tossed.


Plus there's the whole "did you win? Oh, look, I -almost- won!" "George got $5!" conversations that go on at the table when everybody's scratching theirs off.