Etiquette Hell

General Etiquette => Techno-quette => Topic started by: GregariousIntrovert on December 02, 2013, 09:14:13 AM

Title: facebook kerfluffles
Post by: GregariousIntrovert on December 02, 2013, 09:14:13 AM

Oh geez.  DH was posting things about a certain zombie show last night that included spoilers.  A terrible faux pas on his part, I know.  Seriously, I don't know what he was thinking!  Well, friend saw said spoilers from DH and several other people and is going OFF.  DH has deleted his posts that contained spoilers and responded to friends post in a lighthearted way, but didn't include an apology.  Friend just won't quit - anytime someone else replies to the thread he gets more and more dramatic.  Name calling, and accusations that spoiler posts are all malicious.  Now, that made me get all upset.  DH does things that are dumb, as all people do, but he doesn't have a malicious bone in his body!  I suggested he apologize and offer a beer and end it all, but he says friend should just get over it.  I know I need to let DH pick his own battles, but I just can't stand having him be flamed like that!  Men are so weird in what they get upset about and how they "fight".

Talk me down from this!
Title: Re: facebook kerfluffles
Post by: cwm on December 02, 2013, 09:59:02 AM
Delete, block, ignore. If friend wants to get that mad about someone posting something with spoilers, let him. But don't let his vitriol affect you or your DH. It was a simple mistake, and one that's really easy to make. Just hide all posts from friend, let him rant, and then once he calms down and he's wondering why you and DH haven't spoken to him, let him come to you.

Just curious, was this spoiler on the level of "Vader is Luke's dad!" or more the level of "Han and Leia kiss"? I can understand a difference in levels of upset over the two, though it sounds like friend is still way out of line.
Title: Re: facebook kerfluffles
Post by: SamiHami on December 02, 2013, 10:03:17 AM
Friend sounds pretty childish. Yes, I try to avoid spoilers whenever I can, but in reality once in awhile you're going to come across one accidentally. If a friend of mine did what your DH did, I might respond with a "Grrr...I wish you hadn't posted that-haven't seen it yet!" comment, but that would be the beginning and the end of it. "Friend" is being a class-A jerk and needs to get over himself.
Title: Re: facebook kerfluffles
Post by: CaffeineKatie on December 02, 2013, 11:04:18 AM
Oh POD to cwm and SamiHami's answers!  I would definitely block anyone continuing to have  such a temper tantrum, even if it is out on cyberspace! 
Title: Re: facebook kerfluffles
Post by: TootsNYC on December 02, 2013, 11:57:46 AM
I would say that you definitely need to let your DH fight his own battles.

Meanwhile, you need to stop picking at your own "wound"--so either hide that thread (I think you can do that), or block that friend for a while.

Were I DH, I'd probably first try editing that particular post to be "everybody but Bozo" (if you can do that after the fact). Or I'd just delete the whole thread. Or I'd block him for a while.
Title: Re: facebook kerfluffles
Post by: Hmmmmm on December 02, 2013, 12:03:15 PM
I would say that you definitely need to let your DH fight his own battles.

Meanwhile, you need to stop picking at your own "wound"--so either hide that thread (I think you can do that), or block that friend for a while.

Were I DH, I'd probably first try editing that particular post to be "everybody but Bozo" (if you can do that after the fact). Or I'd just delete the whole thread. Or I'd block him for a while.
This. It's not your role to decide how your DH handles this.
Title: Re: facebook kerfluffles
Post by: perpetua on December 02, 2013, 12:14:59 PM
Is it a terrible faux pas? Had the show already been broadcast? If so, then it isn't. If people choose not to watch it at the time of broadcast then it's on them to avoid spoilers if they're that bothered.

Agreed that you need to let DH fight his own battles, but I'm not seeing a battle to fight because I don't think he's done anything wrong.
Title: Re: facebook kerfluffles
Post by: MrTango on December 02, 2013, 12:19:54 PM
OP, I'd recommend blocking this person yourself.  If you DH chooses to follow suit, that's up to him.
Title: Re: facebook kerfluffles
Post by: GregariousIntrovert on December 02, 2013, 12:44:37 PM
Thanks, everyone!

cwm I'm not sure what the spoiler was -he had deleted it before I saw anything.  I'm sure it had to do with someone dying, as that's pretty much the formula for every episode. 
Title: Re: facebook kerfluffles
Post by: GlitterIsMyDrug on December 02, 2013, 12:56:01 PM
It's a television show. Yeah, I like to avoid spoilers when I can. But if they happen, they happen. I still enjoy watching the ding dong dang show.

I saw Titanic. I knew the boat was gonna sink. Still sat through the whole movie.

I'd block this friend for awhile and maybe even delete the whole thread. And then not say boo about the show.

Ok, EvilGlitter, would tell the friend that if he really wants to avoid all spoilers until he sees a show, he should live under a rock.
Title: Re: facebook kerfluffles
Post by: cwm on December 02, 2013, 01:05:26 PM
It's a television show. Yeah, I like to avoid spoilers when I can. But if they happen, they happen. I still enjoy watching the ding dong dang show.

I saw Titanic. I knew the boat was gonna sink. Still sat through the whole movie.

I'd block this friend for awhile and maybe even delete the whole thread. And then not say boo about the show.

Ok, EvilGlitter, would tell the friend that if he really wants to avoid all spoilers until he sees a show, he should live under a rock.

I did tell a friend that. She was watching a show that started in 2002. I was discussing a plot point at a large party from season 3 or 4. In any case, years ago. She got mad and said that I should know how far she'd watched in that particular show and shouldn't even discuss it because she didn't want spoilers. The funny part is that she had come in on a discussion of the most current season of the same show. When I pointed this out to her, she laughed at herself and left the group, but I took her aside later and let her know that I couldn't keep track of who was how far on what shows. If she didn't want spoilers, there was always the option of kindly reminding me "Oh, I haven't seen that yet," and I would try to censor myself, but to come at me angrily about it wasn't necessarily going to have the same results.
Title: Re: facebook kerfluffles
Post by: Twik on December 02, 2013, 03:23:11 PM
Seriously? It's one thing to be annoyed at someone giving inadvertent spoilers, but to publicly accuse someone of doing them deliberately ("Hah, I'll deliberately spoil someone's enjoyment of this show! bwahahahaha!") is paranoia.
Title: Re: facebook kerfluffles
Post by: Yvaine on December 02, 2013, 03:34:28 PM
It's a television show. Yeah, I like to avoid spoilers when I can. But if they happen, they happen. I still enjoy watching the ding dong dang show.

I saw Titanic. I knew the boat was gonna sink. Still sat through the whole movie.

I'd block this friend for awhile and maybe even delete the whole thread. And then not say boo about the show.

Ok, EvilGlitter, would tell the friend that if he really wants to avoid all spoilers until he sees a show, he should live under a rock.

I did tell a friend that. She was watching a show that started in 2002. I was discussing a plot point at a large party from season 3 or 4. In any case, years ago. She got mad and said that I should know how far she'd watched in that particular show and shouldn't even discuss it because she didn't want spoilers. The funny part is that she had come in on a discussion of the most current season of the same show. When I pointed this out to her, she laughed at herself and left the group, but I took her aside later and let her know that I couldn't keep track of who was how far on what shows. If she didn't want spoilers, there was always the option of kindly reminding me "Oh, I haven't seen that yet," and I would try to censor myself, but to come at me angrily about it wasn't necessarily going to have the same results.

I favor sticking my fingers in my ears and theatrically singing "LA LA LAAAA"  ;D
Title: Re: facebook kerfluffles
Post by: Kari on December 02, 2013, 03:49:26 PM
I got to watch the exact thing unfold in my Facebook universe. Friend posts the same Walking Dead spoiler and a mutual friend who's known for his hotheadedness flips out: curses, threats, the whole adult tantrum package. Just ignore, ignore, ignore. This is between the spoiler and the spoilee.
Title: Re: facebook kerfluffles
Post by: sweetonsno on December 02, 2013, 04:39:14 PM
I'm annoyed by spoilers. I can't always get to the midnight premiere of a film. I don't live in a time zone that allows me to watch a program the first time it's shown. Heck, here in the states, Downton Abbey Season Four hasn't even started yet.

I think this is a lot like the people who share news stories that are accompanied by graphic photos but neglect to hide the photo. Are they trying to traumatize a particular person in their feed? No. It's unlikely that they are doing it AT anyone. However, it is pretty oblivious. In some cases, so oblivious that it's tough to imagine someone not knowing better. (I'm thinking of a "shared" story that had an accompanying photo that was incredibly upsetting.)

This guy is way out of line for his tantrum, but your hubby did mess up. In the grand scheme of things, it's a fairly small faux pas. Think of it like talking about a party that someone isn't invited to in front of them. I think your husband should apologize and ask for an apology of his own. I know guys aren't really into the whole feelings thing, but maybe something like, "Hey, I'm sorry that I gave away the ending of the show last night. My bad, and I'll do my best to remember not to in the future. But saying that I did it on purpose/calling me a buttmunch? Not cool, man."
Title: Re: facebook kerfluffles
Post by: perpetua on December 02, 2013, 04:53:15 PM
I'm annoyed by spoilers. I can't always get to the midnight premiere of a film. I don't live in a time zone that allows me to watch a program the first time it's shown. Heck, here in the states, Downton Abbey Season Four hasn't even started yet.

I think this is a lot like the people who share news stories that are accompanied by graphic photos but neglect to hide the photo. Are they trying to traumatize a particular person in their feed? No. It's unlikely that they are doing it AT anyone. However, it is pretty oblivious. In some cases, so oblivious that it's tough to imagine someone not knowing better. (I'm thinking of a "shared" story that had an accompanying photo that was incredibly upsetting.)

This guy is way out of line for his tantrum, but your hubby did mess up. In the grand scheme of things, it's a fairly small faux pas. Think of it like talking about a party that someone isn't invited to in front of them. I think your husband should apologize and ask for an apology of his own. I know guys aren't really into the whole feelings thing, but maybe something like, "Hey, I'm sorry that I gave away the ending of the show last night. My bad, and I'll do my best to remember not to in the future. But saying that I did it on purpose/calling me a buttmunch? Not cool, man."

But that's on you to deal with. It's not on everyone else to never publicly talk about anything that you (you general) haven't seen yet. I don't see that the OP's husband has done anything wrong so I can't see that he's got anything to apologise for. Plenty of people avoid FB/Twitter etc if they're really keen not to be spoiled for something until they've seen it. Heck, my Dad doesn't even watch the news if he doesn't want to see the Formula 1 result before he's seen the race (often it's shown as highlights on the BBC several hours later).

If you don't want to be spoiled to the degree you're annoyed about it, it's your responsibility to avoid potential sources of spoilers.
Title: Re: facebook kerfluffles
Post by: sammycat on December 02, 2013, 09:38:20 PM
Is it a terrible faux pas? Had the show already been broadcast? If so, then it isn't. If people choose not to watch it at the time of broadcast then it's on them to avoid spoilers if they're that bothered.

Agreed that you need to let DH fight his own battles, but I'm not seeing a battle to fight because I don't think he's done anything wrong.

POD.  Friend is being ridiculous.

If (general) you are living in the time zone that the show is being aired in yet you choose not to watch at that time, it's fully incumbent on you try and avoid spoilers yourself. Otherwise, (1) just avoid social media until you can watch it somewhere, or (2) accept that it likely will be spoiled for you and react in a mature way about it.

The one time I actually was annoyed by a plot spoiler had nothing to do with other viewers revealing all. The TV station itself (the BBC) released a PR still 3 weeks in advance of that episode that revealed a huge plot point (major character death and therefore everything that flowed on from it). Morons. Fan forums went into meltdown about it.  >:(  But, if they hadn't shown that, had I chosen to check twitter etc prior to downloading/watching the episode, then it would have been my own fault if I'd found about it before watching, no one else's.
Title: Re: facebook kerfluffles
Post by: Deetee on December 02, 2013, 10:10:23 PM
Delete/Block/Whatever

Spoilers are spoilers. They happen. Discussions of things happen. For a movie that just opened, I think it's nice to give a bit of a lead time. Maybe a week or so. For a book, a few months. If you know someone is watching it, avoid it, but otherwise don't worry. I mean, I'm going to point out the fun bits of Crying Game or 6th sense if I know someone is about to rent those, but otherwise, they've been out 10-15 years. Fair game!

I'm watching Game of Thrones with my husband and I do make sure that I avoid spoilers as I read the book, but that's a bit different.
Title: Re: facebook kerfluffles
Post by: Lindee on December 02, 2013, 11:35:16 PM
I enjoy watching the Eurovision Song contest each year. We are in Australia so it is shown on SBS the day after it is on in Europe. What really annoys me is the other TV channels and the radio announce the winners without any spoiler alerts. No, "we are going to tell you the winners so if you don't want to know turn away now", but they usually flash up the picture of the winners as they are going to announce it without any warnings. It doesn't totally ruin it for me as I enjoy the ridiculous songs, costumes and over the top choreography but I would really rather not know while I am watching it.  This has to be deliberate on their part.
Title: Re: facebook kerfluffles
Post by: Hollanda on December 03, 2013, 06:49:58 AM

Oh geez.  DH was posting things about a certain zombie show last night that included spoilers.  A terrible faux pas on his part, I know.  Seriously, I don't know what he was thinking!  Well, friend saw said spoilers from DH and several other people and is going OFF.  DH has deleted his posts that contained spoilers and responded to friends post in a lighthearted way, but didn't include an apology.  Friend just won't quit - anytime someone else replies to the thread he gets more and more dramatic.  Name calling, and accusations that spoiler posts are all malicious.  Now, that made me get all upset.  DH does things that are dumb, as all people do, but he doesn't have a malicious bone in his body!  I suggested he apologize and offer a beer and end it all, but he says friend should just get over it.  I know I need to let DH pick his own battles, but I just can't stand having him be flamed like that!  Men are so weird in what they get upset about and how they "fight".

Talk me down from this!

I've been a doofus on Facebook before and just simply deleted my doofusy status and gone on with my life.  Anyone who constantly referred back in a negative way to said status just ended up being blocked from my friends as I simply don't have time for such childish drama.
Title: Re: facebook kerfluffles
Post by: Allyson on December 03, 2013, 01:31:57 PM
Some people blow up, and then are fine a couple of days later; it's the stereotypically 'male' fighting style, but I've not noticed it to be gender correlated all the time. Your husband and his friend will probably get over it on their own, and someone else jumping in will only prolong it. If this is a repeated pattern, where the friend regularly verbally abuses your husband who doesn't like it but won't say anything, I'd give different advice. But if he genuinely doesn't care, it's up to him to not care.

I think the friend is being ridiculous to keep it going publicly; an apology might help but if your husband genuinely doesn't feel he did anything wrong, I can see why it might be hard for him to want to do that.

Spoilers are so weird. Sometimes it's seen as evil to say anything at all about something on the internet, but last year there was a certain Game of Thrones episode where spoilers were *everywhere* right after it aired and it would've been pretty much impossible to go online and not see them. I think it would've been unrealistic to tell people to stop at that point, and people obviously had a great time talking about it in a way that would've been lessened by having to wait...so, I don't know what the answer is.
Title: Re: facebook kerfluffles
Post by: Mergatroyd on December 03, 2013, 01:40:38 PM
Is it a terrible faux pas? Had the show already been broadcast? If so, then it isn't. If people choose not to watch it at the time of broadcast then it's on them to avoid spoilers if they're that bothered.

Agreed that you need to let DH fight his own battles, but I'm not seeing a battle to fight because I don't think he's done anything wrong.

POD.  Friend is being ridiculous.

If (general) you are living in the time zone that the show is being aired in yet you choose not to watch at that time, it's fully incumbent on you try and avoid spoilers yourself. Otherwise, (1) just avoid social media until you can watch it somewhere, or (2) accept that it likely will be spoiled for you and react in a mature way about it.

The one time I actually was annoyed by a plot spoiler had nothing to do with other viewers revealing all. The TV station itself (the BBC) released a PR still 3 weeks in advance of that episode that revealed a huge plot point (major character death and therefore everything that flowed on from it). Morons. Fan forums went into meltdown about it.  >:(  But, if they hadn't shown that, had I chosen to check twitter etc prior to downloading/watching the episode, then it would have been my own fault if I'd found about it before watching, no one else's.

Thirding this.
I've been very active in online show forums, and spoilers are only spoilers until the show airs, eastern stand time. West coasters who don't want to be spoiled then get off the site, until it airs locally. Once the show has aired, it is out. Why should everyone else have to avoid discussing it just because one person hasn't seen it? How would we know they haven't seen it? If they care that much, why didn't they just watch it?

Movies are a bit different, because not everyone can go to the movie theatre to watch them. But a TV show? Really?
Title: Re: facebook kerfluffles
Post by: kategillian on December 03, 2013, 01:58:22 PM
I think I know what show you're talking about, it is my absolute favorite TV show. If someone puts spoilers on Facebook, I would say dude! I can't believe you said that! And then I would get over it 3 seconds later. Friend is being an absolute baby about this.
Title: Re: facebook kerfluffles
Post by: Peppergirl on December 03, 2013, 02:42:54 PM
If I was your husband I would have lightheartedly apologized for the faux pas and removed it. The friend of your DH is being a drama queen.
Title: Re: facebook kerfluffles
Post by: That Anime Chick on December 06, 2013, 12:47:57 PM
I think I know what show you're talking about, it is my absolute favorite TV show. If someone puts spoilers on Facebook, I would say dude! I can't believe you said that! And then I would get over it 3 seconds later. Friend is being an absolute baby about this.

This. Simply because by now spoilers are everywhere! The only way to avoid spoilers nowadays is to live under a rock and not watch tv, listen to the radio, read a paper or even turn on a computer.
Title: Re: facebook kerfluffles
Post by: Ginger G on December 06, 2013, 02:41:27 PM
I'm one of those who records almost every show I watch and catches up on the weekend.  I do this for two reasons, I go to bed before most of my preferred shows come on and I like to fast forward through commercials.  So, although I try to avoid them, at times I have come across a spoiler.  It's annoying, but it's just a television show, no need to make a huge deal about it.  One of my FB friends posted a Justified spoiler the next day after the show and I hadn't watched it yet.  I posted something like "Oh no, a spoiler, I hadn't watched it yet!"  He posted back an apology, I wrote back "No big deal, my bad for not watching it sooner  :)"  Your husband's friend is being really over the top in my opinion. 
Title: Re: facebook kerfluffles
Post by: hobish on December 06, 2013, 03:13:49 PM

You post spoilers, you get blocked/unfriended. Does that mean I don’t want to be your friend in real life? No. Am I going to throw a tantrum? No. But I don’t want to read what you’re posting. In the age of Netflix and OnDemand, not to mention VCR’s, etc. probably more people watch things after they’ve aired than when they’re actually on. It’s not that hard to post “Walking Dead” and then put the spoiler in comments. Of course, that’s on my own stuff. What goes on on Gish’s FB/social media is really not anything I concern myself with.
Title: Re: facebook kerfluffles
Post by: Roe on December 09, 2013, 12:59:29 PM
I think people who browse FB and then get all upset when they read spoilers are being SS!  Seriously, if you care so much about The Walking Dead or a football game...STAY OFF FB! Easy Peasy.

Your DH doesn't owe him an apology at all.  His "friend" just needs to get over it.
Title: Re: facebook kerfluffles
Post by: Clockwork Banana on December 13, 2013, 01:39:01 PM
Ahh, gather around my online friends and harken back to the good old days of yore, when at work or in the hallways of school, we all happily chitter chatted about last night's episode of Happy Days, or Dallas or MacGyver, or 21 Jump Street.....

Modern technology has completely ruined that.  Now we have to resort to talking about boring things like politics, world events, weather disasters, or even worse WORK OR SCHOOL!!!!!

Ok, levity aside, we are living in the DVR and DVD age, and as polite members of society, we need to remember that people do record or purchase, and watch movies and shows at their convenience.  So it is almost like new etiquette rules need to be set for the 21st century.

For instance, what timeline needs to be set to be able to talk freely about a popular television show?  One day, one week, one month after first airing? Or never? Or is it incumbent upon the delayed viewers to avoid any discussion of said show, either online or otherwise?

I actually got caught up in one of these types of discussions quite recently  For years I have been a member of a forum that discusses a British serial that airs five times a week.  The members of the forum are predominantly, but not exclusively, Canadian.  The show had historically in Canada run months behind the British episodes.  So the forum was moderated quite strictly insomuch as *Spoiler* notifications HAD to be displayed prominently by anyone was privy to and posting about current British episodes.

Well things have evolved and now Canada is only a week or two behind Britain.  I had not visited the site for a few months, and when I returned I noticed that quite a few people were being lax about remembering to slap on the spoiler notification.  So, I innocently posed a question about whether the spoiler rules had changed. Well, the kerfuffle that then ensued was insane!!

Everybody seemed to wade in. There were the folks who said that because there was such a small timeline now between new eppies and Canadian ones, that we could just all 'suck it up Buttercup', and if we did not like getting spoilers than stay off the site.  Then there was the other side, who stated that whether it be months, weeks or days, it was still not cool to discuss episodes that had not yet been aired in Canada.

The whole thing got really silly and quite bombastic, and no consensus was ever reached.  There are still people who faithfully paste on the *spoiler* notification, and others who don't.  For me when I visit the site now, I just do that squinty read thing, where you can usually discern that someone's post is going to contain content you don't want to know about, so you can skip on down.
Title: Re: facebook kerfluffles
Post by: bah12 on December 13, 2013, 02:07:24 PM
Your DH's friend sounds like one of those annoying people who think it's on everyone else to solve their problems and make sure they always get what they want.

If you choose (or can't) watch a show when it first airs, be it that you're busy with something else, in a different time zone or recording it to watch with your BFF, then it's pretty much on you to avoid the spoilers the best you can.  That means not watching the news in some cases, not participating in office talk, and especially not getting online.  And even after all of that, chances are that you will, from time to time, come across a spoiler...especially as time goes on.  To throw a temper tantrum about it just proves the child-like thinking that anyone owes you spoiler warnings or would avoid talking about a show just because maybe someone somewhere hasn't seen it yet.

I wouldn't have deleted the spoiler if I were your DH, though he did nothing wrong in either deleting his post or putting it up in the first place.  His friend is an immature, selfish child and frankly his behavior isn't even worth the time that it takes figuring out what to do about it.  Igore him, block him, whatever you want to do.  For me, he'd just be background noice.
Title: Re: facebook kerfluffles
Post by: TinyVulgarUnicorn on December 13, 2013, 05:39:15 PM

You post spoilers, you get blocked/unfriended. Does that mean I don’t want to be your friend in real life? No. Am I going to throw a tantrum? No. But I don’t want to read what you’re posting. In the age of Netflix and OnDemand, not to mention VCR’s, etc. probably more people watch things after they’ve aired than when they’re actually on. It’s not that hard to post “Walking Dead” and then put the spoiler in comments. Of course, that’s on my own stuff. What goes on on Gish’s FB/social media is really not anything I concern myself with.

I have a friend from the UK who was posting Downton Abbey season 4 spoilers on her Facebook page when she knows that it hasn't even aired in America.  Even after we asked her to put 'Spoiler' or something to let us know that she was going to reveal something she still left no spoiler notes or anything.  Am I going to stop using Facebook because she can't control herself?  No, I just blocked her posts, but it would have been nice if she had put a 'Spoiler' or something along those lines so that I didn't have to block her posts.

I don't think it's on "everyone to solve my problems" nor am I going to throw a temper tantrum, but a little common courtesy goes a long way. 
Title: Re: facebook kerfluffles
Post by: perpetua on December 19, 2013, 10:13:59 AM

You post spoilers, you get blocked/unfriended. Does that mean I don’t want to be your friend in real life? No. Am I going to throw a tantrum? No. But I don’t want to read what you’re posting. In the age of Netflix and OnDemand, not to mention VCR’s, etc. probably more people watch things after they’ve aired than when they’re actually on. It’s not that hard to post “Walking Dead” and then put the spoiler in comments. Of course, that’s on my own stuff. What goes on on Gish’s FB/social media is really not anything I concern myself with.

I have a friend from the UK who was posting Downton Abbey season 4 spoilers on her Facebook page when she knows that it hasn't even aired in America.  Even after we asked her to put 'Spoiler' or something to let us know that she was going to reveal something she still left no spoiler notes or anything.  Am I going to stop using Facebook because she can't control herself?  No, I just blocked her posts, but it would have been nice if she had put a 'Spoiler' or something along those lines so that I didn't have to block her posts.

I don't think it's on "everyone to solve my problems" nor am I going to throw a temper tantrum, but a little common courtesy goes a long way.

I think you did the right thing in blocking her posts, ie, taking your own responsibility for what you do and don't want to see, but I really think that expecting someone to moderate what they say and implying she 'can't control herself' because something hasn't been shown in a different *country* yet is bordering on snowflakey.
Title: Re: facebook kerfluffles
Post by: hobish on December 19, 2013, 01:25:13 PM

You post spoilers, you get blocked/unfriended. Does that mean I don’t want to be your friend in real life? No. Am I going to throw a tantrum? No. But I don’t want to read what you’re posting. In the age of Netflix and OnDemand, not to mention VCR’s, etc. probably more people watch things after they’ve aired than when they’re actually on. It’s not that hard to post “Walking Dead” and then put the spoiler in comments. Of course, that’s on my own stuff. What goes on on Gish’s FB/social media is really not anything I concern myself with.

I have a friend from the UK who was posting Downton Abbey season 4 spoilers on her Facebook page when she knows that it hasn't even aired in America.  Even after we asked her to put 'Spoiler' or something to let us know that she was going to reveal something she still left no spoiler notes or anything.  Am I going to stop using Facebook because she can't control herself?  No, I just blocked her posts, but it would have been nice if she had put a 'Spoiler' or something along those lines so that I didn't have to block her posts.

I don't think it's on "everyone to solve my problems" nor am I going to throw a temper tantrum, but a little common courtesy goes a long way.

I think you did the right thing in blocking her posts, ie, taking your own responsibility for what you do and don't want to see, but I really think that expecting someone to moderate what they say and implying she 'can't control herself' because something hasn't been shown in a different *country* yet is bordering on snowflakey.

You can think that all you like. I think putting the world on blast because you just have to talk about some TV show is snowflakey. To each their own.

Title: Re: facebook kerfluffles
Post by: bansidhe on December 19, 2013, 03:58:36 PM
This is sort of an aside, but related: I read this thread out of curiosity the other day, all the while thinking that I never have and probably never will run into this sort of situation, as I don't watch TV and very, very rarely watch movies.

Then I went home and while perusing Facebook, saw that the fellow who runs one of the Lovecraft pages I follow posted a quote from the end of Lovecraft's Shadow Over Innsmouth. And then...some guy complained about him posting a spoiler. I laughed and laughed. Apparently waiting 80 years after the thing was published wasn't long enough for him.
Title: Re: facebook kerfluffles
Post by: RingTailedLemur on December 20, 2013, 01:48:05 AM
I once inadvertently told someone a spoiler, and I felt awful about it.

In my defence, the episode had aired 28 years before... but I did feel horrible  :(

Title: Re: facebook kerfluffles
Post by: Peppergirl on December 20, 2013, 03:12:24 AM
There was an episode of Mad Men (set in the early-mid 1960's) where the lead character takes his son to see 'Planet of the Apes'.  In the scene, we (the audience) get to see the ending of the movie, and then the main character of Mad Men has a brief discussion with his son about the ending (of POTA).

There were a couple of blogs that were griping about 'spoiling' the movie. From 50 years ago.  ::)
Title: Re: facebook kerfluffles
Post by: perpetua on December 20, 2013, 03:20:22 AM

You post spoilers, you get blocked/unfriended. Does that mean I don’t want to be your friend in real life? No. Am I going to throw a tantrum? No. But I don’t want to read what you’re posting. In the age of Netflix and OnDemand, not to mention VCR’s, etc. probably more people watch things after they’ve aired than when they’re actually on. It’s not that hard to post “Walking Dead” and then put the spoiler in comments. Of course, that’s on my own stuff. What goes on on Gish’s FB/social media is really not anything I concern myself with.

I have a friend from the UK who was posting Downton Abbey season 4 spoilers on her Facebook page when she knows that it hasn't even aired in America.  Even after we asked her to put 'Spoiler' or something to let us know that she was going to reveal something she still left no spoiler notes or anything.  Am I going to stop using Facebook because she can't control herself?  No, I just blocked her posts, but it would have been nice if she had put a 'Spoiler' or something along those lines so that I didn't have to block her posts.

I don't think it's on "everyone to solve my problems" nor am I going to throw a temper tantrum, but a little common courtesy goes a long way.

I think you did the right thing in blocking her posts, ie, taking your own responsibility for what you do and don't want to see, but I really think that expecting someone to moderate what they say and implying she 'can't control herself' because something hasn't been shown in a different *country* yet is bordering on snowflakey.

You can think that all you like. I think putting the world on blast because you just have to talk about some TV show is snowflakey. To each their own.

Really? (Genuine question, not a sarcastic 'really?!') I'm not understanding how that train of thought is arrived at. The programme in question (Downtown) is a UK programme aired on UK television and you (you general) expect people in the UK not to discuss it afterwards just in case someone in America hasn't seen it yet? If not snowflakey, I do think that's very unrealistic, not least because it could be months before it airs over there. I think that's just one of the perils of following a series that's made for a different audience - you get it when you get it and the onus is on you (again, you general) to avoid sources of spoilers.

Of course on forums you can put a spoiler tag in the thread title, but on FB and Twitter that's pretty much impossible. So the only option is for people not to discuss it on those platforms and that just isn't going to happen. It's really common for people to watch big shows while on Twitter and share discussion about it while it's happening and I'm not going to *not* do that just in case someone from America (or any other country the programme is sold on to) might come across or be following my twitter feed.

We get a lot of TV over here from across the pond, and it's often a long while before it gets here. I wouldn't expect someone in America not to discuss their shows just because we haven't seen it yet. Them's the breaks.
Title: Re: facebook kerfluffles
Post by: padua on December 20, 2013, 03:34:11 AM

You post spoilers, you get blocked/unfriended. Does that mean I don’t want to be your friend in real life? No. Am I going to throw a tantrum? No. But I don’t want to read what you’re posting. In the age of Netflix and OnDemand, not to mention VCR’s, etc. probably more people watch things after they’ve aired than when they’re actually on. It’s not that hard to post “Walking Dead” and then put the spoiler in comments. Of course, that’s on my own stuff. What goes on on Gish’s FB/social media is really not anything I concern myself with.

I have a friend from the UK who was posting Downton Abbey season 4 spoilers on her Facebook page when she knows that it hasn't even aired in America.  Even after we asked her to put 'Spoiler' or something to let us know that she was going to reveal something she still left no spoiler notes or anything.  Am I going to stop using Facebook because she can't control herself?  No, I just blocked her posts, but it would have been nice if she had put a 'Spoiler' or something along those lines so that I didn't have to block her posts.

I don't think it's on "everyone to solve my problems" nor am I going to throw a temper tantrum, but a little common courtesy goes a long way.

I think you did the right thing in blocking her posts, ie, taking your own responsibility for what you do and don't want to see, but I really think that expecting someone to moderate what they say and implying she 'can't control herself' because something hasn't been shown in a different *country* yet is bordering on snowflakey.

You can think that all you like. I think putting the world on blast because you just have to talk about some TV show is snowflakey. To each their own.

Really? (Genuine question, not a sarcastic 'really?!') I'm not understanding how that train of thought is arrived at. The programme in question (Downtown) is a UK programme aired on UK television and you (you general) expect people in the UK not to discuss it afterwards just in case someone in America hasn't seen it yet? If not snowflakey, I do think that's very unrealistic, not least because it could be months before it airs over there. I think that's just one of the perils of following a series that's made for a different audience - you get it when you get it and the onus is on you (again, you general) to avoid sources of spoilers.

Of course on forums you can put a spoiler tag in the thread title, but on FB and Twitter that's pretty much impossible. So the only option is for people not to discuss it on those platforms and that just isn't going to happen. It's really common for people to watch big shows while on Twitter and share discussion about it while it's happening and I'm not going to *not* do that just in case someone from America (or any other country the programme is sold on to) might come across or be following my twitter feed.

We get a lot of TV over here from across the pond, and it's often a long while before it gets here. I wouldn't expect someone in America not to discuss their shows just because we haven't seen it yet. Them's the breaks.

i agree with perpetua here. i have several friends from zimbabwe on my facebook and some of their shows are years behind mine. meaning they're being played on television as if it was a first time viewing (which it is for their country). i don't plan to be that sensitive and i wouldn't expect someone from a country where they get first viewing to be sensitive to me (e.g., i watch a lot of korean dramas- i wouldn't expect friends from korea to not post spoilers just because they won't make it here for another year or so).
Title: Re: facebook kerfluffles
Post by: perpetua on December 20, 2013, 03:42:22 AM
I think the best reverse scenario I can come up with here is the Superbowl. If I recall correctly (I may be wrong because I don't watch it) it's transmitted either really late or overnight here. I certainly wouldn't expect Americans not to tweet/post on FB about it because a lot of UK folk might have to wait till the next day to see it.
Title: Re: facebook kerfluffles
Post by: TinyVulgarUnicorn on December 20, 2013, 03:02:08 PM

You post spoilers, you get blocked/unfriended. Does that mean I don’t want to be your friend in real life? No. Am I going to throw a tantrum? No. But I don’t want to read what you’re posting. In the age of Netflix and OnDemand, not to mention VCR’s, etc. probably more people watch things after they’ve aired than when they’re actually on. It’s not that hard to post “Walking Dead” and then put the spoiler in comments. Of course, that’s on my own stuff. What goes on on Gish’s FB/social media is really not anything I concern myself with.

I have a friend from the UK who was posting Downton Abbey season 4 spoilers on her Facebook page when she knows that it hasn't even aired in America.  Even after we asked her to put 'Spoiler' or something to let us know that she was going to reveal something she still left no spoiler notes or anything.  Am I going to stop using Facebook because she can't control herself?  No, I just blocked her posts, but it would have been nice if she had put a 'Spoiler' or something along those lines so that I didn't have to block her posts.

I don't think it's on "everyone to solve my problems" nor am I going to throw a temper tantrum, but a little common courtesy goes a long way.

I think you did the right thing in blocking her posts, ie, taking your own responsibility for what you do and don't want to see, but I really think that expecting someone to moderate what they say and implying she 'can't control herself' because something hasn't been shown in a different *country* yet is bordering on snowflakey.

You can think that all you like. I think putting the world on blast because you just have to talk about some TV show is snowflakey. To each their own.

Really? (Genuine question, not a sarcastic 'really?!') I'm not understanding how that train of thought is arrived at. The programme in question (Downtown) is a UK programme aired on UK television and you (you general) expect people in the UK not to discuss it afterwards just in case someone in America hasn't seen it yet? If not snowflakey, I do think that's very unrealistic, not least because it could be months before it airs over there. I think that's just one of the perils of following a series that's made for a different audience - you get it when you get it and the onus is on you (again, you general) to avoid sources of spoilers.

Of course on forums you can put a spoiler tag in the thread title, but on FB and Twitter that's pretty much impossible. So the only option is for people not to discuss it on those platforms and that just isn't going to happen. It's really common for people to watch big shows while on Twitter and share discussion about it while it's happening and I'm not going to *not* do that just in case someone from America (or any other country the programme is sold on to) might come across or be following my twitter feed.

We get a lot of TV over here from across the pond, and it's often a long while before it gets here. I wouldn't expect someone in America not to discuss their shows just because we haven't seen it yet. Them's the breaks.

I didn't expect her to hold off on talking about Downton Abbey, but what I and a few other American friends did ask her was to put 'Spoiler' in the title or something letting people know she was going to be talking about a show which she knows hasn't been aired in the US yet.  It wasn't just me...about four other people including some of her UK friends were asking her to do this as a courtesy, but she refused and as a result a few people started blocking her posts or defriending her (which she complained about).

I don't think asking for a 'spoiler' in the title is being a special snowflake.
Title: Re: facebook kerfluffles
Post by: perpetua on December 20, 2013, 03:34:16 PM
There aren't any 'thread titles' on Facebook, though. I don't even know how she could have done that.
Title: Re: facebook kerfluffles
Post by: GlitterIsMyDrug on December 20, 2013, 04:02:23 PM
There aren't any 'thread titles' on Facebook, though. I don't even know how she could have done that.

I've seen people do it in their status updates. For example: "Spoiler Alert! Did everyone see last night on Blossom how Six..." and then what happened on Blossom (or a more current show). If you don't read the first two words well...it's your bad.

I don't really care about spoilers. Seeing the show played out is what does it for me. Even if I know the end I still like to see how the whole show goes. I knew the entire story line of Rent, start to finish, before seeing the play. Heck I had the soundtrack mesmerized (I can still sing the whole thing start to finish). I was still beyond thrilled to see the play, I was still excited to see the story play out before me. So even if I know in the end Ross and Rachel end up together, or that Roseanne didn't win the lottery and Dan really did die, I want to see the story play out. Spoilers don't really...spoil it for me I guess.
Title: Re: facebook kerfluffles
Post by: MrsVandy on December 20, 2013, 10:43:27 PM
I don't like it when people spoiler movies, since I rarely have time to view them in theaters. But I'll just skip those post. I had to avoid Facebook and some other websites for days when I wasn't able to see Day of the Doctor on the day it aired, but I chose to avoid those sites because I knew people would post spoilers.