Etiquette Hell

General Etiquette => Life...in general => Topic started by: Yarnspinner on January 02, 2014, 04:01:33 PM

Title: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: Yarnspinner on January 02, 2014, 04:01:33 PM
This could be in family as well, but I've had this discussion with friends about their guests so decided this could go here.

Warning:  slightly queasy contents here.


Within minutes of arriving at my brother's home for the holidays, it became abundantly clear that I had a UTI which I had mistaken for travel nerves.  I spent a large part of Christmas week gulping cranberry juice and water in addition to antibiotics and azo painkillers.  The natural result was that I spent a lot of time in the bathroom.

The bathroom I was using connected my room with another guest room inhabited by SIL's Mom and my niece who offered me her room.  Here's where I have the question:

I was in and out of the bathroom several times each night straight thru into the a.m.  Each time I used the facilities, I flushed because...well, who wants to see the contents?

However, Gramma also uses that bathroom and very pointedly did not flush when she used the bathroom during the night.  This resulted in me, I am sorry to say, flushing twice because...ugh!

I have had conversations with friends who complain about guests who seem to think the polite thing to do after everyone has gone to bed is to not flush until the a.m.  We all agree that the polite thing to do is flush so that everyone has a clean canvas, so to speak. 

Is this just me?  Am I just easily squicked out?  Where do ehellions land on this issue or non-issue as the case may be?



Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: 123sandy on January 02, 2014, 04:06:25 PM
Flush! Absolutely, flush.
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: bah12 on January 02, 2014, 04:11:03 PM
This is a thing?  I think not flushing is disgusting.
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: Nikko-chan on January 02, 2014, 04:13:45 PM
I agree! Flush. More than once if you have to but flush the toilet!
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: MrsVandy on January 02, 2014, 04:14:39 PM
I don't flush in my own home, if its late at night, liquid and we have no guests. But I always flush at someone else's home.
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: rose red on January 02, 2014, 04:17:02 PM
As a guest?  I always flush unless I have my own private bathroom and can wait.  Sorry, but I don't care what time it is.  Nobody needs to see other people's...contents.  Gag.
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: jedikaiti on January 02, 2014, 04:18:53 PM
Flush flush flush!

Logistically, if you didn't, wouldn't the TP just build up until you had a pipe-clogging mess? If for no other reason than that, flush!
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: Yarnspinner on January 02, 2014, 04:25:12 PM
Flush flush flush!

Logistically, if you didn't, wouldn't the TP just build up until you had a pipe-clogging mess? If for no other reason than that, flush!

Well, that was my thought especially as  gramma uses lots of  tp.
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: Luci on January 02, 2014, 04:27:53 PM
Flush. After a couple of times, most people will sleep through it anyway.

We have always been fortunate to have a closet between the bathroom and a bedroom, or have the toilet on a wall not adjacent to a bedroom. Once we had guests, so I tried to use the basement toilet if I could make it.
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: Gwywnnydd on January 02, 2014, 04:28:42 PM
I'm used to households that save water by not flushing liquids (or at least, not flushing every use). In my own home, I'll do that (in my own en suite, or if we don't have guests). In someone elses home, I'll default to flushing, unless it's obvious the house as a rule doesn't.
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: Outdoor Girl on January 02, 2014, 04:30:58 PM
I'm in the other camp - but I grew up on a well with limited water so the family mantra was always, 'If it's yellow, let it mellow.'  So it doesn't squick me out at all.  I live alone so I only flush every other time to save water.  I do flush every time if I have guests, other than family since we all still follow the rule for water conservation reasons.

If I'm a guest or have guests visiting, I don't flush in the middle of the night because I don't want to wake people.  But if I was asked to flush, I would try to remember to do so.
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: EllenS on January 02, 2014, 04:33:49 PM
We don't flush every time with liquids unless we have company.  (for water conservation) As a guest in someone's home I absolutely flush every time unless they tell me not to.  I have lived in apartments where flushing was so noisy it would wake the baby, so I would sometimes let folks know that we don't flush while Baby is sleeping. (if you have ever had a baby who was a dicey sleeper, you'll do just about anything)

I would always assume the rule is flush, unless specifically told otherwise.
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: veronaz on January 02, 2014, 04:37:51 PM
Quote
I would always assume the rule is flush, unless specifically told otherwise.

This.

I know sometimes flushing can be noisy, but the same applies to hand washing, coughing, etc.  Just things we need to do.  :-\
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: Hmmmmm on January 02, 2014, 04:46:07 PM
I'm joining the majority and saying to flush. It wouldn't have occurred to me not too.
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: bah12 on January 02, 2014, 04:47:21 PM
Quote
I would always assume the rule is flush, unless specifically told otherwise.

This.

I know sometimes flushing can be noisy, but the same applies to hand washing, coughing, etc.  Just things we need to do.  :-\

I agree.  I must have been "sheltered" in my life.  It never even occurred to me that flushing was optional in any case.  Gross!  I would much rather wake up to the sound of flushing toilet, then look at other people's waste (I don't care what color).  TP clogging the pipes, the smell, etc.  It would never even occur to me to tell a guest that I prefer flushing and luckily that hasn't been an issue!
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: Luci on January 02, 2014, 04:55:17 PM
We dry camp but use the toilet for liquids. Paper is kept in the waste basket, so we only dump liquids. The other is for public restrooms - comfort stations. We don't use the toilet for brown, so there is only a slight ick problem there. I have never had a guest have a problem with that.

I would like to mention that with an UTI I had a weird staining red-orange liquid, so that would be especially startling!
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: Sophia on January 02, 2014, 05:02:14 PM
I would be extremely irritated at a guest that did NOT flush.  Urine is acidic, and with time can etch the porcelain surface making it get dirtier much quicker.  I used to have a boyfriend that I have since named Mistake that would do that, despite my telling him to always flush.  My toilets went from only needing weekly sanitizing, to looking disgusting after one day.  Of course, we both traveled and I sometimes came home to unflushed toilets to they'd had a week of pee to damage the surface. 
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: Outdoor Girl on January 02, 2014, 05:15:07 PM
I sometimes came home to unflushed toilets to they'd had a week of pee to damage the surface.

Even as a 'If it's yellow, let it mellow'er, I'd find this to be disgusting.

I always make sure the toilet is flushed when I leave the house, whether it is just for the day or for longer.
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: nuit93 on January 02, 2014, 05:26:01 PM
Growing up, flushing in the middle of the night (yes, regardless of the contents) or too early in the morning was a potentially groundable offense as it woke up my then-stepdad.  I always found it to be a stupid and frankly gross rule.

Always flush.  No one wants to see what's left behind.
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: Julsie on January 02, 2014, 05:32:17 PM
Flush!

I'm sorry that you had a UTI.  That can be some awful pain.  I hope that you felt better quickly.
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: sweetonsno on January 02, 2014, 05:35:28 PM
First of all, I'm in camp "flush" unless you're not sharing and don't mind.

However, because of the shared wall, I think it would have been better to find out whether the occupants of the other room could hear the flushing throughout the night. If they could, I think it would be better to use a different bathroom after everyone had gone to bed to minimize the disruptions. I realize that a UTI can add some urgency to nature's calls, but if it was possible to make it to a bathroom farther away from where people sleep, I think it would be better.
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: Peregrine on January 02, 2014, 05:36:23 PM
I came from a family that didn't flush liquids overnight.....Old house, really rattly pipes, not so sound sleepers.  We flushed any solid waste and anytime any lady of the house was "indisposed".  We immediately flushed in the morning, and whenever we had guests.

As an adult with a home of my own, I pretty much kept to the same pattern, and still do similar.  However, when I am a guest in someone else's home, I follow their lead.

But please, can we keep the avoid the disgusting and unhygienic labels that get thrown at posters whom we don't agree with whenever these topics come up.  I grew up with a parent that still lived on a farm with an outhouse and chamber pots for overnight use....and I'm only in my 30's.  So that also plays into how I was raised.

Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: rigs32 on January 02, 2014, 05:49:28 PM

However, because of the shared wall, I think it would have been better to find out whether the occupants of the other room could hear the flushing throughout the night. If they could, I think it would be better to use a different bathroom after everyone had gone to bed to minimize the disruptions. I realize that a UTI can add some urgency to nature's calls, but if it was possible to make it to a bathroom farther away from where people sleep, I think it would be better.

I agree with this.  If the positioning of the toilet and the pipes were such that you were waking them up every few hours, that wouldn't be fair to them.

I say this as a woman who just returned from a four day trip for the holidays with four of us in a one bedroom condo.  I am a grown woman, yet my elderly father woke me up more than once because of a really loud fart.  I was sleep deprived the whole time.
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: Iris on January 02, 2014, 05:50:03 PM
Pod to Kestrels Nemesis. I spent part of my childhood in a rural area with an outhouse and another part of my childhood with a toilet that shared a wall with my brother's bedroom. I never caught any dreadful diseases and the second toilet is still in my mother's house and not etched or stained at all. I would always flush as a guest but it's not a dreadful crime against humanity if you don't.
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: bah12 on January 02, 2014, 05:55:44 PM
I came from a family that didn't flush liquids overnight.....Old house, really rattly pipes, not so sound sleepers.  We flushed any solid waste and anytime any lady of the house was "indisposed".  We immediately flushed in the morning, and whenever we had guests.

As an adult with a home of my own, I pretty much kept to the same pattern, and still do similar.  However, when I am a guest in someone else's home, I follow their lead.

But please, can we keep the avoid the disgusting and unhygienic labels that get thrown at posters whom we don't agree with whenever these topics come up.  I grew up with a parent that still lived on a farm with an outhouse and chamber pots for overnight use....and I'm only in my 30's.  So that also plays into how I was raised.

I don't see where anyone said that the 'posters' were unhygienic, but only the practice to be a bit "ick', especially when avoidable.  You have to expect that when talking about bodily functions, people will respond with the "gross" aspect...afterall, the reason why those in the 'flush' camp are there is because of the ick factor, not because they think waking people up in the middle of the night with the sound of gushing water is the most polite thing in the world to do. 

I get that how you were raised is going to affect how you see these things.  I had a relative that worked at a dairy farm and I spent a good many hours of my childhood surrounded by cow waste and smell (and flies!).  I know a whole lot of people that would desribe that as disgusting and though it doesn't bother me so much because I got used to it, I don't really get offended when people have a natural reaction to that environment (or the thought of that environment).  And as someone who has done more than my fair share of camping, I get that plumbing isn't always available and that flushing isn't always an option.  That being said, I'm not going to feel bad for expecting that when you use a flushable toilet, you will actually flush it.  For me, erring on the side of the 'cleanest' practice is usually the safest bet. 
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: Carotte on January 02, 2014, 06:06:28 PM
In my own (shared) home and if it was liquid and I only used one or two sheets of tp I don't always flush. Sometimes I half-flush so that the tp stays but a good part of the water is replaced or heavily diluted.
Same if I'm in someone elses bathroom, if I/you can't tell if someone used it (appart from the tp) and I know it will be really noisy I don't always flush.

Solid waste is flushed.
If I'm home alone and for some reason can't, the lid goes down and I'll flush it first thing before using it again.
If I'm not alone and for some reason can't, I 'hide' it under one or two sheets of tp and the lid also goes down.
If not everything flush the first time around I also do this.
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: oopsie on January 02, 2014, 06:09:08 PM
My kids and their cousins go to their grandparents (MIL & FIL) every week. The kids told me that MIL gives them heck if they flush after liquid because it is wasteful.

It can be unpleasant to go to the bathroom there and find the toilet already yellow. Urine, left sitting, can be stinky too.

I flush every time until she tells me to do otherwise and I probably would even then ("oops, I forgot"). IMO, it's embarrassing to just leave the contents there for the next user. 
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: m2kbug on January 02, 2014, 06:21:26 PM
I say flush.  I would hope the noise wouldn't be bothersome to people in another room.
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: blarg314 on January 02, 2014, 06:43:12 PM

At someone else's house, I will flush after each use unless specifically told not to. If there is any substance other than urine involved, I will flush, regardless.

Where I live, toilet paper is not flushed, as the plumbing can't handle it, so used TP is deposited in a small can next to the toilet.
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: MrTango on January 02, 2014, 07:02:07 PM
I always flush.  No one wants to go into the bathroom and see what someone else left in the bowl.

The only exception was when visiting my grandparents' farm, if there was a summer drought, the rules were modified in order to conserve water.  The logic there was that we could deal with a bit of discomfort in order to help ensure that the cattle & crops had enough water.
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: Betelnut on January 02, 2014, 07:06:40 PM
As a guest, I flush every time (unless I have a private bathroom).  At home, in my own private bathroom, I flush every other time or so.  The ole "if yellow, let mellow; if brown, flush it down" applies.  BUT, always flush if another person will see what you have excreted.

But, if requested to NOT flush every time by my host, I would/could abide by her/his request.  It wouldn't squick me out.
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: Zizi-K on January 02, 2014, 07:12:12 PM
I have never been woken up by a flush, nor ever (to my knowledge) woken anyone. It would never occur to me not to flush.
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: YummyMummy66 on January 02, 2014, 07:25:15 PM
If more than one person is using the bathroom, you flush.

I cannot imagine waiting to morning to flush one's business and all that toilet paper in one shot.  Because you know, that toilet is going to over flow.
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: Psychopoesie on January 02, 2014, 07:56:21 PM
I flush every time.

I have friends who have the "if it's yellow..." policy for environmental reasons (lowering water consumption). Their house, their rules.

Plus it really doesn't bother me if that's all I see in the loo. It doesn't seem to smell and their loo seems as clean as any other.

I'd be happy to follow the same approach to minimise disturbing fellow guests at night.

Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: Layla Miller on January 02, 2014, 08:06:11 PM
The only times I can remember waiting to flush is when I use the toilet in one bathroom while DH is in the shower in the other and I don't want to mess up his water temperature/pressure.  That's only waiting for maybe fifteen minutes though, because I go back and flush after he's done.  Otherwise, even in the middle of the night, I flush right away.
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: Mel the Redcap on January 02, 2014, 08:20:27 PM
In my house, you flush. ;) It won't bother anyone. In my mother's house, if you're using the guest bathroom after people have gone to bed, you don't flush if it's just #1 (per her request) because both she and my stepfather are light sleepers and that loo is LOUD. Anything more substantial gets flushed anyway, because nobody wants to see that first thing in the morning. :P

My general philosophy is flush unless your host/ess specifically asks you not to, and if you have a reason to have odd flushing/non-flushing rules in your house, spell them out to your guests.
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: LifeOnPluto on January 02, 2014, 08:47:02 PM
For "solids", yes absolutely, flush!

For "liquids", I'd err on the side of flushing, unless you know you are waking people up several times during the night. In that case, I wouldn't flush - but I'd try to be the first into the bathroom in the morning so I could flush, and hence save the others the unslightly view of my "liquids".
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: gramma dishes on January 02, 2014, 09:21:00 PM

...  Where I live, toilet paper is not flushed, as the plumbing can't handle it, so used TP is deposited in a small can next to the toilet.

This is going to sound like I'm just being obnoxious, but it is a genuine question because I've never been anywhere where you couldn't flush TP down the toilet. 

I get putting it into a container, but seriously, what if someone has screamers or something?  What then?  You couldn't put that in a can.  Even the paper generated by just a couple of people doing a nice normal #2 would smell up the bathroom really fast, wouldn't it? 

Do you carry the container out with you when you leave the bathroom and if so, then what do you do with it?  ???
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: Bluenomi on January 02, 2014, 10:05:34 PM
I'm a not flusher at home because I have small kids who may wake up from it and I don't want to deal with that. I do the same if I stay somewhere with kids because waking them is just mean and a way to get into their parents bad books.  My MIL is not so considerate  >:(

Plus living in a drought prone country you learn not to waste water. Also the water level in our toilets is much lower than in the US so the yellow water that people are going ick about is a lot further down.

Number 2s always get flushed though.
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: Marisol on January 02, 2014, 10:39:08 PM
Im a light sleeper and I wake up a million times a night (not really, but a lot) and I have to use the bathroom if I've been woken up. I flush but there have been situations where it is better not to flush because it wakes people. I hate when I have to share a hotel room and keep waking people up because I have to go.  I've worried over this sort of thing a lot so it is nice to hear that the majority are okay with the flushing. I wish I could sleep through the full night, and through other people flushing, snoring, turning over in their sleep, etc.
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: Deetee on January 02, 2014, 11:13:39 PM
Depends on how loud the plumbing is , how much water there is, how light people sleep etc..

I also grew up on a well. In the summer, we never used the indoor flushable toilet, but used the outhouse instead.
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: Raintree on January 02, 2014, 11:50:34 PM
I am ok with people flushing. It's a normal household noise and doesn't wake me up. I think most people are wired so that they get accustomed to normal sounds while they sleep; unusual sounds (like a breaking window) would wake those same people up.

I can't speak for the light sleepers, but I'm inclined to think that's a problem THEY have and that people who get up in the night should still be able to flush and not leave their business for everyone else to find. Of course, everything else should be done quietly: walk lightly, don't slam doors, don't flick on a bright light in the hall, etc.
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: zyrs on January 03, 2014, 01:53:53 AM
Another vote for flush.
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: cabbageweevil on January 03, 2014, 02:47:42 AM
I'm in favour of flushing, unless staying in a household where it is specifically requested that that not be done.

Straying a little, into anecdote for the sake of it: a late uncle of mine was notorious in the "extended" family, for being a crabby and cross-grained individual (despite his various good qualities). He prided himself on being highly logical and rational -- often, he was anything but. Circumstances caused my brother, when he was a child, to stay for a quite lengthy period of time with this uncle and his family.

Early in his stay, my brother needed to get up and use the toilet in the middle of the night; he flushed it.  The following morning, our uncle -- who always had difficulty sleeping -- angrily rebuked him for flushing in the middle of the night, thus making noise.  A couple of nights later, brother again needed to get up to "go", in middle of night. With uncle's words in mind, he refrained from flushing.  Next morning, uncle went ballistic at him for leaving the "results" for people to find when they got up... My brother was truly gobsmacked at finding himself in this completely "you can't win" situation.
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: shadowfox79 on January 03, 2014, 04:17:47 AM
I would say flush. However, I've been in houses with a no-flushing rule overnight.

Staying with my then-boyfriend's parents, I was berated at the breakfast table by his mother for flushing at night and waking her up. The following night I unfortunately had some issues which kept me in the bathroom for a while and I was forced to make a decision - I didn't want to leave it, but neither did I want to have to explain in front of everyone why I had disobeyed her edict. In the end I left it, and somebody flushed it themselves before I could in the morning - I don't know who, but an evil part of me hopes it was his mother.
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: camlan on January 03, 2014, 06:29:40 AM
The upstairs toilet at my brother's house is loud. The flush is loud, and then the water running through the pipes is loud. You can pretty much hear every flush and the subsequent water running in every bedroom for at least 3 or 4 minutes.

So when the kids were little, I was asked not to flush at night because it would wake the kids up. And I tried to do this, but at 2 am, I was pretty much operating on auto-pilot and would flush without thinking about it for the first few times I stayed with them.

The only other bathroom on the second floor was the ensuite master bath, and getting downstairs and navigating in the dark to the bathroom on the other side of the house was not happening at 2 am.

Now the kids are older and it is not a problem anymore. However, two of the kids are going through a weird stage where they refuse to flush after they go. My dear SIL is just hoping they outgrow this soon.
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: Sophia on January 03, 2014, 08:39:30 AM
...I flush every time until she tells me to do otherwise and I probably would even then ("oops, I forgot"). IMO, it's embarrassing to just leave the contents there for the next user.

It is so automatic for me that I have been known to flush WHILE chanting "Do Not Flush.  Do Not Flush."  That has come up when the plumbing is being worked on and the water is off.
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: Outdoor Girl on January 03, 2014, 08:48:17 AM
...I flush every time until she tells me to do otherwise and I probably would even then ("oops, I forgot"). IMO, it's embarrassing to just leave the contents there for the next user.

It is so automatic for me that I have been known to flush WHILE chanting "Do Not Flush.  Do Not Flush."  That has come up when the plumbing is being worked on and the water is off.

As someone who is used to not flushing every time, even I sometimes end up doing this.  Why is it that you don't have to go to the bathroom until someone tells you that you can't?
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: bloo on January 03, 2014, 09:19:30 AM
I came from a family that didn't flush liquids overnight.....Old house, really rattly pipes, not so sound sleepers.  We flushed any solid waste and anytime any lady of the house was "indisposed".  We immediately flushed in the morning, and whenever we had guests.

As an adult with a home of my own, I pretty much kept to the same pattern, and still do similar.  However, when I am a guest in someone else's home, I follow their lead.

But please, can we keep the avoid the disgusting and unhygienic labels that get thrown at posters whom we don't agree with whenever these topics come up.  I grew up with a parent that still lived on a farm with an outhouse and chamber pots for overnight use....and I'm only in my 30's.  So that also plays into how I was raised.

I don't see where anyone said that the 'posters' were unhygienic, but only the practice to be a bit "ick', especially when avoidable.  You have to expect that when talking about bodily functions, people will respond with the "gross" aspect...afterall, the reason why those in the 'flush' camp are there is because of the ick factor, not because they think waking people up in the middle of the night with the sound of gushing water is the most polite thing in the world to do. 

I get that how you were raised is going to affect how you see these things.  I had a relative that worked at a dairy farm and I spent a good many hours of my childhood surrounded by cow waste and smell (and flies!).  I know a whole lot of people that would desribe that as disgusting and though it doesn't bother me so much because I got used to it, I don't really get offended when people have a natural reaction to that environment (or the thought of that environment).  And as someone who has done more than my fair share of camping, I get that plumbing isn't always available and that flushing isn't always an option.  That being said, I'm not going to feel bad for expecting that when you use a flushable toilet, you will actually flush it.  For me, erring on the side of the 'cleanest' practice is usually the safest bet.

I don't mean to be insulting but my understanding is that not flushing is unhygienic. Unless you keep a chemical in the bowl that breaks down wastes, it attracts more bacteria and possibly flies if there in the house. Also, depending on the toilet, sometimes liquid from the bowl will splash up and hit my private parts even when just urinating which is why I cannot use a toilet that hasn't been flushed and will always flush afterwards. If someone was to chastise me later for waking them up because I performed a normal, reasonable function which could be embarrassing in the extreme for some personalities, I would find a way to make it clear that flushing after using is reasonable and then quietly make plans to never be in a position to need that persons restroom.
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: EllenS on January 03, 2014, 09:37:18 AM
bloo, I respect your personal boundaries of ick, but no.  We skip flushing liquids sometimes and no, it does not "attract flies" and our bowl does not get dirtier any faster than when we always flushed.
We have little girls, and wasting 8 gallons of water to flush 2 tsp of urine and 2 sheets of tp every time they go, would put a huge dent in our household budget.  We also have a septic tank in the backyard, I am just not sure it could handle that volume of water, especially when we get heavy rains.
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: DoubleTrouble on January 03, 2014, 09:50:33 AM
Now the kids are older and it is not a problem anymore. However, two of the kids are going through a weird stage where they refuse to flush after they go. My dear SIL is just hoping they outgrow this soon.

LOL, I'm glad we're not the only ones with this problem!

bloo, I respect your personal boundaries of ick, but no.  We skip flushing liquids sometimes and no, it does not "attract flies" and our bowl does not get dirtier any faster than when we always flushed.

We have little girls, and wasting 8 gallons of water to flush 2 tsp of urine and 2 sheets of tp every time they go, would put a huge dent in our household budget.  We also have a septic tank in the backyard, I am just not sure it could handle that volume of water, especially when we get heavy rains.

We don't have a septic tank but had the same problem when doing potty training, it just wasn't worth it to flush every single time. Especially with twins.
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: Yarnspinner on January 03, 2014, 10:11:36 AM
I came from a family that didn't flush liquids overnight.....Old house, really rattly pipes, not so sound sleepers.  We flushed any solid waste and anytime any lady of the house was "indisposed".  We immediately flushed in the morning, and whenever we had guests.

As an adult with a home of my own, I pretty much kept to the same pattern, and still do similar.  However, when I am a guest in someone else's home, I follow their lead.

But please, can we keep the avoid the disgusting and unhygienic labels that get thrown at posters whom we don't agree with whenever these topics come up.  I grew up with a parent that still lived on a farm with an outhouse and chamber pots for overnight use....and I'm only in my 30's.  So that also plays into how I was raised.

I don't see where anyone said that the 'posters' were unhygienic, but only the practice to be a bit "ick', especially when avoidable.  You have to expect that when talking about bodily functions, people will respond with the "gross" aspect...afterall, the reason why those in the 'flush' camp are there is because of the ick factor, not because they think waking people up in the middle of the night with the sound of gushing water is the most polite thing in the world to do. 

I get that how you were raised is going to affect how you see these things.  I had a relative that worked at a dairy farm and I spent a good many hours of my childhood surrounded by cow waste and smell (and flies!).  I know a whole lot of people that would desribe that as disgusting and though it doesn't bother me so much because I got used to it, I don't really get offended when people have a natural reaction to that environment (or the thought of that environment).  And as someone who has done more than my fair share of camping, I get that plumbing isn't always available and that flushing isn't always an option.  That being said, I'm not going to feel bad for expecting that when you use a flushable toilet, you will actually flush it.  For me, erring on the side of the 'cleanest' practice is usually the safest bet.

I don't mean to be insulting but my understanding is that not flushing is unhygienic. Unless you keep a chemical in the bowl that breaks down wastes, it attracts more bacteria and possibly flies if there in the house. Also, depending on the toilet, sometimes liquid from the bowl will splash up and hit my private parts even when just urinating which is why I cannot use a toilet that hasn't been flushed and will always flush afterwards. If someone was to chastise me later for waking them up because I performed a normal, reasonable function which could be embarrassing in the extreme for some personalities, I would find a way to make it clear that flushing after using is reasonable and then quietly make plans to never be in a position to need that persons restroom.

Re: the bolded...this was my objection.  I already had an infection...and, p.s., it has come back with a vengeance and I am back on cipro...and I didn't want to make it worse.  Last night I had to use the bathroom so often that I was trekking across the hall to my father's suite and using HIS bathroom, not an easy thing to do when you really have to GO.
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: EllenS on January 03, 2014, 10:22:23 AM

Re: the bolded...this was my objection.  I already had an infection...and, p.s., it has come back with a vengeance and I am back on cipro...and I didn't want to make it worse.  Last night I had to use the bathroom so often that I was trekking across the hall to my father's suite and using HIS bathroom, not an easy thing to do when you really have to GO.

Oh, that's awful, I'm so sorry you are dealing with that and hope you're better soon. UTI's are just disproportionately miserable.

We always flush in other people's houses and always flush in our house when we have company.  Water-saving is only for when it's just us.
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: siamesecat2965 on January 03, 2014, 10:55:58 AM
In my own apt, if i get up to wee in the night, I leave it. Anything else, I flush. Not because I'm afraid of waking anyone, but the noise annoys ME! which means when I have company, or am at someone else's home, I have to remember to fllush all the time!  the only exception is at my mom's where I have my own loo, and no one else will be using it between the time i go to bed, and wake up. I've also never been anywhere where they've said don't flush unless its brown, so I guess I've been lucky!
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: Happy2BCF on January 03, 2014, 11:26:36 AM

...  Where I live, toilet paper is not flushed, as the plumbing can't handle it, so used TP is deposited in a small can next to the toilet.

This is going to sound like I'm just being obnoxious, but it is a genuine question because I've never been anywhere where you couldn't flush TP down the toilet. 

I get putting it into a container, but seriously, what if someone has screamers or something?  What then?  You couldn't put that in a can.  Even the paper generated by just a couple of people doing a nice normal #2 would smell up the bathroom really fast, wouldn't it? 

Do you carry the container out with you when you leave the bathroom and if so, then what do you do with it?  ???

When I stayed at a cabin that was on a limited septic system & had the "no paper
in the toilet" rule I would tie the trash bag off & take it out to the garbage can after a bm.   No way was I leaving that in the bathroom to "share" with my friends.  Just a wee? Paper stayed in the bathroom trash can until it was emptied at the end of the day.   It was a bit of a hassle but better than digging a hole out
in the woods!
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: bloo on January 03, 2014, 11:44:54 AM
In the Philippines I noticed that my relatives all had a hose connected to their toilets  (similar to the spray house on a kitchen sink). Everywhere I went it was expected you would dispose of tp in the trash. But the tp was mostly meant for patting you dry as you'd use the hose to clean yourself.  It in public, it was expected that you would bring tp with you as only upscale places frequented by foreigners might provide tp. Might.

Anyhoo, I guess in those circumstances depositing paper in the garbage wouldn't be too bad. My relatives bathrooms never smelled. We're always expected to flush, however.

When my brother commented on the hoses to my cousin, 'you must think Americans stink,' my cousin grinned and responded,  'we do.

Or' wee doo'  >:D
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: Peregrine on January 03, 2014, 01:52:48 PM
I came from a family that didn't flush liquids overnight.....Old house, really rattly pipes, not so sound sleepers.  We flushed any solid waste and anytime any lady of the house was "indisposed".  We immediately flushed in the morning, and whenever we had guests.

As an adult with a home of my own, I pretty much kept to the same pattern, and still do similar.  However, when I am a guest in someone else's home, I follow their lead.

But please, can we keep the avoid the disgusting and unhygienic labels that get thrown at posters whom we don't agree with whenever these topics come up.  I grew up with a parent that still lived on a farm with an outhouse and chamber pots for overnight use....and I'm only in my 30's.  So that also plays into how I was raised.

I don't see where anyone said that the 'posters' were unhygienic, but only the practice to be a bit "ick', especially when avoidable.  You have to expect that when talking about bodily functions, people will respond with the "gross" aspect...afterall, the reason why those in the 'flush' camp are there is because of the ick factor, not because they think waking people up in the middle of the night with the sound of gushing water is the most polite thing in the world to do. 

I get that how you were raised is going to affect how you see these things.  I had a relative that worked at a dairy farm and I spent a good many hours of my childhood surrounded by cow waste and smell (and flies!).  I know a whole lot of people that would desribe that as disgusting and though it doesn't bother me so much because I got used to it, I don't really get offended when people have a natural reaction to that environment (or the thought of that environment).  And as someone who has done more than my fair share of camping, I get that plumbing isn't always available and that flushing isn't always an option.  That being said, I'm not going to feel bad for expecting that when you use a flushable toilet, you will actually flush it.  For me, erring on the side of the 'cleanest' practice is usually the safest bet.

I don't mean to be insulting but my understanding is that not flushing is unhygienic. Unless you keep a chemical in the bowl that breaks down wastes, it attracts more bacteria and possibly flies if there in the house. Also, depending on the toilet, sometimes liquid from the bowl will splash up and hit my private parts even when just urinating which is why I cannot use a toilet that hasn't been flushed and will always flush afterwards. If someone was to chastise me later for waking them up because I performed a normal, reasonable function which could be embarrassing in the extreme for some personalities, I would find a way to make it clear that flushing after using is reasonable and then quietly make plans to never be in a position to need that persons restroom.

See, this is where I think the breakdown is.  For those of us that don't flush at night, if there were problems with flies, etching, or icky splashing...we wouldn't be doing it in the first place!  I have never seen flies or anything gross growing in my toilets.  I scrub them every other day or so anyway.  But a few cc's of urine and a couple of squares of TP in anywhere from 8-12 gallons of water for 4-6 hours are just not causing issues.  I do always flush every time during the day.

I would NEVER, tell a guest that they couldn't flush overnight in my home, nor would I refrain from flushing overnight as a guest in someone else's home unless they asked me to.  Pretty much what EllenS is saying.  It's just a household habit that developed because of really rattly pipes that sounded like Niagra falls in an old house.
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: esposita on January 03, 2014, 02:13:42 PM
In the Philippines I noticed that my relatives all had a hose connected to their toilets  (similar to the spray house on a kitchen sink). Everywhere I went it was expected you would dispose of tp in the trash. But the tp was mostly meant for patting you dry as you'd use the hose to clean yourself.  It in public, it was expected that you would bring tp with you as only upscale places frequented by foreigners might provide tp. Might.

Anyhoo, I guess in those circumstances depositing paper in the garbage wouldn't be too bad. My relatives bathrooms never smelled. We're always expected to flush, however.

When my brother commented on the hoses to my cousin, 'you must think Americans stink,' my cousin grinned and responded,  'we do.

Or' wee doo'  >:D

From what I've read (which isn't very extensive), America and parts of Europe are really the odd ones about toilets. Most places use a bit of water to wash off and cloth or paper to dry. They also squat, which means that there really isn't a whole lot to wash off. Just some stuff I found while researching "family cloth" lol. I know there are lots of people here from all over the world, maybe what I read was way off?
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: Margo on January 03, 2014, 02:33:12 PM

...  Where I live, toilet paper is not flushed, as the plumbing can't handle it, so used TP is deposited in a small can next to the toilet.

This is going to sound like I'm just being obnoxious, but it is a genuine question because I've never been anywhere where you couldn't flush TP down the toilet. 

I get putting it into a container, but seriously, what if someone has screamers or something?  What then?  You couldn't put that in a can.  Even the paper generated by just a couple of people doing a nice normal #2 would smell up the bathroom really fast, wouldn't it? 

Do you carry the container out with you when you leave the bathroom and if so, then what do you do with it?  ???

When I stayed at a cabin that was on a limited septic system & had the "no paper
in the toilet" rule I would tie the trash bag off & take it out to the garbage can after a bm.   No way was I leaving that in the bathroom to "share" with my friends.  Just a wee? Paper stayed in the bathroom trash can until it was emptied at the end of the day.   It was a bit of a hassle but better than digging a hole out
in the woods!

It's quite common in Greece and Turkey - it's normal to have a hose or tap so you clean yourself that way and pat dry. If you use the paper to wipe, yes, you put it in the bin (which is normally fairly small, and in most of the homes I've been, has a lid), and empty the bin frequently.

It doesn't seem to get particularly stinky, despite hot weather - and flies were never an issue in my sister and BiL's place when they were living in Turkey.  Of course, remembering not to put paper in the loo can be a challenge..
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: bah12 on January 03, 2014, 02:40:36 PM
In the Philippines I noticed that my relatives all had a hose connected to their toilets  (similar to the spray house on a kitchen sink). Everywhere I went it was expected you would dispose of tp in the trash. But the tp was mostly meant for patting you dry as you'd use the hose to clean yourself.  It in public, it was expected that you would bring tp with you as only upscale places frequented by foreigners might provide tp. Might.

Anyhoo, I guess in those circumstances depositing paper in the garbage wouldn't be too bad. My relatives bathrooms never smelled. We're always expected to flush, however.

When my brother commented on the hoses to my cousin, 'you must think Americans stink,' my cousin grinned and responded,  'we do.

Or' wee doo'  >:D

From what I've read (which isn't very extensive), America and parts of Europe are really the odd ones about toilets. Most places use a bit of water to wash off and cloth or paper to dry. They also squat, which means that there really isn't a whole lot to wash off. Just some stuff I found while researching "family cloth" lol. I know there are lots of people here from all over the world, maybe what I read was way off?

In Japan, my experience with the "western" toilets was that most had two options for the flush.  For just liquids there would be just enough water to dilute and not a full flush...solids a more robust flush.   In Europe (Greece and Turkey specifically) my experience is not with "hoses" but with bidets.  Making TP just used to pat yourself dry. In all cases, I still flushed every time.  Here in the US, I haven't seen the multi-optioned toilet so just use a full-flush every time (because sanitary or not, I still think it's gross not to).  I don't know why we haven't introduced the two-flush option here (at least not in most places) because I think it would go over well for conserving water.
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: bloo on January 03, 2014, 02:55:41 PM
In the Philippines I noticed that my relatives all had a hose connected to their toilets  (similar to the spray house on a kitchen sink). Everywhere I went it was expected you would dispose of tp in the trash. But the tp was mostly meant for patting you dry as you'd use the hose to clean yourself.  It in public, it was expected that you would bring tp with you as only upscale places frequented by foreigners might provide tp. Might.

Anyhoo, I guess in those circumstances depositing paper in the garbage wouldn't be too bad. My relatives bathrooms never smelled. We're always expected to flush, however.

When my brother commented on the hoses to my cousin, 'you must think Americans stink,' my cousin grinned and responded,  'we do.

Or' wee doo'  >:D

From what I've read (which isn't very extensive), America and parts of Europe are really the odd ones about toilets. Most places use a bit of water to wash off and cloth or paper to dry. They also squat, which means that there really isn't a whole lot to wash off. Just some stuff I found while researching "family cloth" lol. I know there are lots of people here from all over the world, maybe what I read was way off?

In Japan, my experience with the "western" toilets was that most had two options for the flush.  For just liquids there would be just enough water to dilute and not a full flush...solids a more robust flush.   In Europe (Greece and Turkey specifically) my experience is not with "hoses" but with bidets.  Making TP just used to pat yourself dry. In all cases, I still flushed every time.  Here in the US, I haven't seen the multi-optioned toilet so just use a full-flush every time (because sanitary or not, I still think it's gross not to).  I don't know why we haven't introduced the two-flush option here (at least not in most places) because I think it would go over well for conserving water.

But...but...but the cooties are still in there! What about splashback?  ;D
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: jedikaiti on January 03, 2014, 04:03:19 PM
In the Philippines I noticed that my relatives all had a hose connected to their toilets  (similar to the spray house on a kitchen sink). Everywhere I went it was expected you would dispose of tp in the trash. But the tp was mostly meant for patting you dry as you'd use the hose to clean yourself.  It in public, it was expected that you would bring tp with you as only upscale places frequented by foreigners might provide tp. Might.

Anyhoo, I guess in those circumstances depositing paper in the garbage wouldn't be too bad. My relatives bathrooms never smelled. We're always expected to flush, however.

When my brother commented on the hoses to my cousin, 'you must think Americans stink,' my cousin grinned and responded,  'we do.

Or' wee doo'  >:D

From what I've read (which isn't very extensive), America and parts of Europe are really the odd ones about toilets. Most places use a bit of water to wash off and cloth or paper to dry. They also squat, which means that there really isn't a whole lot to wash off. Just some stuff I found while researching "family cloth" lol. I know there are lots of people here from all over the world, maybe what I read was way off?

In Japan, my experience with the "western" toilets was that most had two options for the flush.  For just liquids there would be just enough water to dilute and not a full flush...solids a more robust flush.   In Europe (Greece and Turkey specifically) my experience is not with "hoses" but with bidets.  Making TP just used to pat yourself dry. In all cases, I still flushed every time.  Here in the US, I haven't seen the multi-optioned toilet so just use a full-flush every time (because sanitary or not, I still think it's gross not to).  I don't know why we haven't introduced the two-flush option here (at least not in most places) because I think it would go over well for conserving water.

I've been seeing public toilets with options for #1 and #2 all over the place in CO in the last few years - typically they have a green handle, and indicate up for #1, and down for #2.
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: MariaE on January 03, 2014, 04:46:19 PM
Now the kids are older and it is not a problem anymore. However, two of the kids are going through a weird stage where they refuse to flush after they go. My dear SIL is just hoping they outgrow this soon.

This was me when I was 8-10. I had an irrational fear of intruders and I was certain that if I got up in the middle of the night to go to the loo and flushed afterwards, any eventual intruders would hear and come get me...

I always flushed in the daytime though.

I did have a friend whose parents asked us not to flush during the night when I stayed over, so I didn't. But I would always default to flushing unless specifically told otherwise.
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: Bluenomi on January 03, 2014, 05:56:20 PM
In the Philippines I noticed that my relatives all had a hose connected to their toilets  (similar to the spray house on a kitchen sink). Everywhere I went it was expected you would dispose of tp in the trash. But the tp was mostly meant for patting you dry as you'd use the hose to clean yourself.  It in public, it was expected that you would bring tp with you as only upscale places frequented by foreigners might provide tp. Might.

Anyhoo, I guess in those circumstances depositing paper in the garbage wouldn't be too bad. My relatives bathrooms never smelled. We're always expected to flush, however.

When my brother commented on the hoses to my cousin, 'you must think Americans stink,' my cousin grinned and responded,  'we do.

Or' wee doo'  >:D

From what I've read (which isn't very extensive), America and parts of Europe are really the odd ones about toilets. Most places use a bit of water to wash off and cloth or paper to dry. They also squat, which means that there really isn't a whole lot to wash off. Just some stuff I found while researching "family cloth" lol. I know there are lots of people here from all over the world, maybe what I read was way off?

In Japan, my experience with the "western" toilets was that most had two options for the flush.  For just liquids there would be just enough water to dilute and not a full flush...solids a more robust flush.   In Europe (Greece and Turkey specifically) my experience is not with "hoses" but with bidets.  Making TP just used to pat yourself dry. In all cases, I still flushed every time.  Here in the US, I haven't seen the multi-optioned toilet so just use a full-flush every time (because sanitary or not, I still think it's gross not to).  I don't know why we haven't introduced the two-flush option here (at least not in most places) because I think it would go over well for conserving water.

The US doesn't have duel flush loos? Wow, you learn something every day. Clearly water conservation isn't as important over there as it is here in Australia, you can only get duel flush here and since the water level in the loo is much lower, even a full flush uses less water. Plus no nasty splash back.
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: Yvaine on January 03, 2014, 06:00:29 PM
In the Philippines I noticed that my relatives all had a hose connected to their toilets  (similar to the spray house on a kitchen sink). Everywhere I went it was expected you would dispose of tp in the trash. But the tp was mostly meant for patting you dry as you'd use the hose to clean yourself.  It in public, it was expected that you would bring tp with you as only upscale places frequented by foreigners might provide tp. Might.

Anyhoo, I guess in those circumstances depositing paper in the garbage wouldn't be too bad. My relatives bathrooms never smelled. We're always expected to flush, however.

When my brother commented on the hoses to my cousin, 'you must think Americans stink,' my cousin grinned and responded,  'we do.

Or' wee doo'  >:D

From what I've read (which isn't very extensive), America and parts of Europe are really the odd ones about toilets. Most places use a bit of water to wash off and cloth or paper to dry. They also squat, which means that there really isn't a whole lot to wash off. Just some stuff I found while researching "family cloth" lol. I know there are lots of people here from all over the world, maybe what I read was way off?

In Japan, my experience with the "western" toilets was that most had two options for the flush.  For just liquids there would be just enough water to dilute and not a full flush...solids a more robust flush.   In Europe (Greece and Turkey specifically) my experience is not with "hoses" but with bidets.  Making TP just used to pat yourself dry. In all cases, I still flushed every time.  Here in the US, I haven't seen the multi-optioned toilet so just use a full-flush every time (because sanitary or not, I still think it's gross not to).  I don't know why we haven't introduced the two-flush option here (at least not in most places) because I think it would go over well for conserving water.

The US doesn't have duel flush loos? Wow, you learn something every day. Clearly water conservation isn't as important over there as it is here in Australia, you can only get duel flush here and since the water level in the loo is much lower, even a full flush uses less water. Plus no nasty splash back.

I believe we've started to have a few. For a while, a "low-flow" style toilet became popular, which basically meant that every flush was of the "only sufficient for #1" variety. They were meant to conserve water but just ended up annoying people, and probably didn't conserve much because people needed to flush them twice so often.  ;D
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: bah12 on January 03, 2014, 06:22:41 PM
In the Philippines I noticed that my relatives all had a hose connected to their toilets  (similar to the spray house on a kitchen sink). Everywhere I went it was expected you would dispose of tp in the trash. But the tp was mostly meant for patting you dry as you'd use the hose to clean yourself.  It in public, it was expected that you would bring tp with you as only upscale places frequented by foreigners might provide tp. Might.

Anyhoo, I guess in those circumstances depositing paper in the garbage wouldn't be too bad. My relatives bathrooms never smelled. We're always expected to flush, however.

When my brother commented on the hoses to my cousin, 'you must think Americans stink,' my cousin grinned and responded,  'we do.

Or' wee doo'  >:D

From what I've read (which isn't very extensive), America and parts of Europe are really the odd ones about toilets. Most places use a bit of water to wash off and cloth or paper to dry. They also squat, which means that there really isn't a whole lot to wash off. Just some stuff I found while researching "family cloth" lol. I know there are lots of people here from all over the world, maybe what I read was way off?

In Japan, my experience with the "western" toilets was that most had two options for the flush.  For just liquids there would be just enough water to dilute and not a full flush...solids a more robust flush.   In Europe (Greece and Turkey specifically) my experience is not with "hoses" but with bidets.  Making TP just used to pat yourself dry. In all cases, I still flushed every time.  Here in the US, I haven't seen the multi-optioned toilet so just use a full-flush every time (because sanitary or not, I still think it's gross not to).  I don't know why we haven't introduced the two-flush option here (at least not in most places) because I think it would go over well for conserving water.

The US doesn't have duel flush loos? Wow, you learn something every day. Clearly water conservation isn't as important over there as it is here in Australia, you can only get duel flush here and since the water level in the loo is much lower, even a full flush uses less water. Plus no nasty splash back.

I think they exist, but they are not common place where I live...which is a pretty diverse part of the country that has access to quite a lot.  I think we are just behind in catching on to the trend. 
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: gramma dishes on January 03, 2014, 06:54:58 PM

I believe we've started to have a few. For a while, a "low-flow" style toilet became popular, which basically meant that every flush was of the "only sufficient for #1" variety. They were meant to conserve water but just ended up annoying people, and probably didn't conserve much because people needed to flush them twice so often.  ;D

That's true.  The general rule is:  If you have a preexisting 'regular' standard one, you can keep it for as long as you can continue to get parts for it and make it work.  But if you were replacing that one, building a new house, or adding a bathroom you had to use the "low flow" variety.  As you said, they used so little water and such a flimsy flush that people ended up having to flush them two or three times to get the contents to disappear.  Hardly a water savings!

Now they have new POWER FLUSH ones that flush with such force and suction that it terrifies children (and unsuspecting adults) because it sounds and feels like it's going to suck down the whole house!  :o

The dual flush variety is showing up more and more in public places such as airports, commuter train stations, shopping malls, etc.
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: camlan on January 03, 2014, 08:36:27 PM
In the Philippines I noticed that my relatives all had a hose connected to their toilets  (similar to the spray house on a kitchen sink). Everywhere I went it was expected you would dispose of tp in the trash. But the tp was mostly meant for patting you dry as you'd use the hose to clean yourself.  It in public, it was expected that you would bring tp with you as only upscale places frequented by foreigners might provide tp. Might.

Anyhoo, I guess in those circumstances depositing paper in the garbage wouldn't be too bad. My relatives bathrooms never smelled. We're always expected to flush, however.

When my brother commented on the hoses to my cousin, 'you must think Americans stink,' my cousin grinned and responded,  'we do.

Or' wee doo'  >:D

From what I've read (which isn't very extensive), America and parts of Europe are really the odd ones about toilets. Most places use a bit of water to wash off and cloth or paper to dry. They also squat, which means that there really isn't a whole lot to wash off. Just some stuff I found while researching "family cloth" lol. I know there are lots of people here from all over the world, maybe what I read was way off?

In Japan, my experience with the "western" toilets was that most had two options for the flush.  For just liquids there would be just enough water to dilute and not a full flush...solids a more robust flush.   In Europe (Greece and Turkey specifically) my experience is not with "hoses" but with bidets.  Making TP just used to pat yourself dry. In all cases, I still flushed every time.  Here in the US, I haven't seen the multi-optioned toilet so just use a full-flush every time (because sanitary or not, I still think it's gross not to).  I don't know why we haven't introduced the two-flush option here (at least not in most places) because I think it would go over well for conserving water.

The US doesn't have duel flush loos? Wow, you learn something every day. Clearly water conservation isn't as important over there as it is here in Australia, you can only get duel flush here and since the water level in the loo is much lower, even a full flush uses less water. Plus no nasty splash back.

Water conservation is very important in some parts of the US, particularly desert areas and areas where clean water is costly. But mostly, how much water toilets can use is determined by the government.

Years ago, most toilets used about 3.5 gallons (13.2 liters) per flush. Now they use 1.6 gallons (6 liters) or less per flush. So we're working on it.

Dual flush toilets are available here. They are a bit more expensive. And unless you are building a new home or renovating a bathroom, most people just deal with the toilet they get when they buy or rent a new place.

The early low-flow toilets had issues and many required two or more flushes to completely empty the bowl. Now there are pressure assist toilets and other features that make the toilets work better.

I think we have a different type of toilet over here. In a recent thread about toilets, there were certain issues with European style toilets that we don't seem to have, and vice versa.

But just because we don't have a specific type of toilet in every house doesn't mean that there is no concern for water conservation throughout the country.
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: meronym on January 04, 2014, 10:46:54 AM
The US doesn't have duel flush loos? Wow, you learn something every day. Clearly water conservation isn't as important over there as it is here in Australia, you can only get duel flush here and since the water level in the loo is much lower, even a full flush uses less water. Plus no nasty splash back.

Water conservation is very important in some parts of the US, particularly desert areas and areas where clean water is costly. But mostly, how much water toilets can use is determined by the government.

Years ago, most toilets used about 3.5 gallons (13.2 liters) per flush. Now they use 1.6 gallons (6 liters) or less per flush. So we're working on it.

Dual flush toilets are available here. They are a bit more expensive. And unless you are building a new home or renovating a bathroom, most people just deal with the toilet they get when they buy or rent a new place.

The early low-flow toilets had issues and many required two or more flushes to completely empty the bowl. Now there are pressure assist toilets and other features that make the toilets work better.

I think we have a different type of toilet over here. In a recent thread about toilets, there were certain issues with European style toilets that we don't seem to have, and vice versa.

But just because we don't have a specific type of toilet in every house doesn't mean that there is no concern for water conservation throughout the country.

Thank you for posting this.

Sweeping generalizations about other countries can't possibly be polite. Keep in mind that the US has a population of 314 million as opposed to Australia's 23 million - things can take a little longer here. And, like others have pointed out, our earlier attempts to regulate water usage wasn't successful - that doesn't mean we don't care.
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: Harriet Jones on January 04, 2014, 10:57:31 AM
Over the past few years I've seen more and more dual flush public toilets, which is nice. 

My experience with low-flow toilets in private homes has been uniformly bad, though. Most of them just can't handle solid waste very well. 
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: EllenS on January 04, 2014, 01:59:13 PM
Our house was built in the 1950's and looks like it has the original toilet (large tank type). If it has been replaced, it was certainly before 1980. I just did a little research and the estimate is this type uses about 7 gallons per flush.

Renovating the bathroom is not in the budget for several years, so we will continue skipping flushes when it is feasible.
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: Iris on January 04, 2014, 02:08:16 PM
The US doesn't have duel flush loos? Wow, you learn something every day. Clearly water conservation isn't as important over there as it is here in Australia, you can only get duel flush here and since the water level in the loo is much lower, even a full flush uses less water. Plus no nasty splash back.

Water conservation is very important in some parts of the US, particularly desert areas and areas where clean water is costly. But mostly, how much water toilets can use is determined by the government.

Years ago, most toilets used about 3.5 gallons (13.2 liters) per flush. Now they use 1.6 gallons (6 liters) or less per flush. So we're working on it.

Dual flush toilets are available here. They are a bit more expensive. And unless you are building a new home or renovating a bathroom, most people just deal with the toilet they get when they buy or rent a new place.

The early low-flow toilets had issues and many required two or more flushes to completely empty the bowl. Now there are pressure assist toilets and other features that make the toilets work better.

I think we have a different type of toilet over here. In a recent thread about toilets, there were certain issues with European style toilets that we don't seem to have, and vice versa.

But just because we don't have a specific type of toilet in every house doesn't mean that there is no concern for water conservation throughout the country.

Thank you for posting this.

Sweeping generalizations about other countries can't possibly be polite. Keep in mind that the US has a population of 314 million as opposed to Australia's 23 million - things can take a little longer here. And, like others have pointed out, our earlier attempts to regulate water usage wasn't successful - that doesn't mean we don't care.

Sorry to go nit-picky, but the phrase was "isn't as important" not "nobody cares". One quick look at the river systems of both countries would make it seem likely that in the country as a whole water conservation probably isn't as big an issue although your increased population would certainly balance that out.

In other words I agree that sweeping generalizations are bad, but I don't think one was made. A comparison is not always a judgement.
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: Katana_Geldar on January 04, 2014, 02:16:52 PM
In Australia, you're more likely to find a dual flush unless you're in an old building or old public toilet. Some of them are better than others.

DH used to have a thing about not flushing during the night and waking me, I said if rather he did wake me and not let it stew.
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: Minmom3 on January 04, 2014, 03:09:23 PM
Our house was built in the 1950's and looks like it has the original toilet (large tank type). If it has been replaced, it was certainly before 1980. I just did a little research and the estimate is this type uses about 7 gallons per flush.

Renovating the bathroom is not in the budget for several years, so we will continue skipping flushes when it is feasible.

There are things you can do to reduce the water capacity of the tank though.  Maybe research them and see if any of them would work for your toilet? 

Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: artk2002 on January 04, 2014, 05:09:16 PM

...  Where I live, toilet paper is not flushed, as the plumbing can't handle it, so used TP is deposited in a small can next to the toilet.

This is going to sound like I'm just being obnoxious, but it is a genuine question because I've never been anywhere where you couldn't flush TP down the toilet. 

I get putting it into a container, but seriously, what if someone has screamers or something?  What then?  You couldn't put that in a can.  Even the paper generated by just a couple of people doing a nice normal #2 would smell up the bathroom really fast, wouldn't it? 

Do you carry the container out with you when you leave the bathroom and if so, then what do you do with it?  ???

A lot of marine toilets are like that. The only thing that goes in them is whatever has passed through your body. Paper will cause serious clogs, meaning that some hapless crew member has to take the whole system apart and clean it out. On our boats, there is a trash can in a cabinet right next to the toilet for disposing paper.
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: Katana_Geldar on January 04, 2014, 05:13:09 PM
In the book My Family and Other Animals, the family comments how difficult it was to get toilet paper until the daughter says they're all being silly and she used the paper in the box next to the toilet. She douse herself with soap, water and cologne when she found out it was used.
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: daen on January 04, 2014, 09:15:53 PM
Our house was built in the 1950's and looks like it has the original toilet (large tank type). If it has been replaced, it was certainly before 1980. I just did a little research and the estimate is this type uses about 7 gallons per flush.

Renovating the bathroom is not in the budget for several years, so we will continue skipping flushes when it is feasible.

There are things you can do to reduce the water capacity of the tank though.  Maybe research them and see if any of them would work for your toilet? 



A couple of years ago (not more than five, anyway), I came across a retrofit unit for toilets that converted a standard single-flush toilet into dual-flush: http://www.canadiantire.ca/en/pdp/hydroright-dual-flush-system-0635195p.html#.UsjNbvsyC9Q (http://www.canadiantire.ca/en/pdp/hydroright-dual-flush-system-0635195p.html#.UsjNbvsyC9Q) .

As I recall, our first unit had a defect, and the manufacturers replaced for us with minimal fuss. Both my parents and my inlaws also installed one of these, and they're still working fine. (Ours is not in use, because we replaced the toilet and the unit doesn't fit - too tall for the tank. (Semi-emergency replacement, limited budget, and thus limited choices.))

I don't know if they're available outside Canada, but I suspect so - I seem to recall that the company is US-based.

ETA: I notice there are a lot of negative reviews. They are not my experience, but there may be similar and more reliable options out there,
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: ladyknight1 on January 04, 2014, 09:52:26 PM
Flush.

I volunteer at a camp, and there is nothing worse than coming along a toilet that was left to mellow for over a week. It attracts a lot of insects, since the toilets are not fully enclosed.

Most new buildings have the dual flush toilets.
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: CityGirlInCowboyBoots on January 05, 2014, 06:55:37 PM
At my house the *only* time you try to avoid flushing is when the power is out. That's because we have well water that runs on an electric pump and when power is out you can get 2 flushes. So when power is out if it's just liquid, I won't flush until the power is back on, and I hope I don't have to do anything else until after the power comes back.
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: Betelnut on January 06, 2014, 09:22:37 AM
Flush.

I volunteer at a camp, and there is nothing worse than coming along a toilet that was left to mellow for over a week. It attracts a lot of insects, since the toilets are not fully enclosed.

Most new buildings have the dual flush toilets.

I don't think most of us are talking about leaving urine to sit for a week though!  More like 3-6 hours at the most.
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: esposita on January 06, 2014, 12:52:51 PM
Flush.

I volunteer at a camp, and there is nothing worse than coming along a toilet that was left to mellow for over a week. It attracts a lot of insects, since the toilets are not fully enclosed.

Most new buildings have the dual flush toilets.

I don't think most of us are talking about leaving urine to sit for a week though!  More like 3-6 hours at the most.

Also, a toilet in your home has quite a different um... atmosphere than a toilet at camp. Its much more removed from the bugs and heat of the outdoors.
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: fountainof on January 06, 2014, 01:13:54 PM
I just wouldn't not flush even if told.  The HO can assume I am taking a #2 each time and who would ever question someone about that.  Urine, even just a few hours later begins to still and it is gross to see someone else's urine.

As for toilets, low flow ones are cheap, you can get a good toilet for less than $100 so keeping a 7 gallon and expecting people to "let it mellow" is just crazy.  As people also mentioned you can get attachments to reduce the flow for around $10.
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: EllenS on January 06, 2014, 01:31:25 PM
Please don't call me crazy because I am not prepared to renovate my bathroom at this time, or because I don't want to buy a cheap toilet just because it is cheap.

I think several people on this thread do not have a concept of how many times a day a well-hydrated small child will "go", and how little actual urine is produced.  Our toilets do not stink, and we flush when it is needed.  When it is obvious that there is pee in the toilet, we flush.

We don't bother to flush just because someone hovered over the toilet and thought about peeing, or because a chemist *might* be able to isolate traces of pee from the water, if tested. I am not squicked out by the *idea* of pee.

Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: Outdoor Girl on January 06, 2014, 01:32:34 PM
As for toilets, low flow ones are cheap, you can get a good toilet for less than $100 so keeping a 7 gallon and expecting people to "let it mellow" is just crazy.  As people also mentioned you can get attachments to reduce the flow for around $10.

Wow, I'd like to know where you are shopping.  For me to replace my old toilet with a low flow one would cost me at least $200 plus the cost of the installation, since I'm unable to install it myself.  Which involves taking time off work, most likely.  And if I want one of the fancy dual flush ones?  It's more like $400.  Why should I have to spend money and throw out a perfectly good toilet when mellowing works just fine?  I won't use the attachments - every one I've seen in other situations requires a second flush for #2, sometimes more.  Which would use even more water than my flushing every other time for #1.

I don't expect people to let it mellow at my house, unless they are using the bathroom right next to my bedroom in the middle of the night.  Since there is one downstairs, next to the guest room, they shouldn't need to.

You can do whatever you like in your own home but I'm not 'crazy' for letting it mellow in my own.
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: esposita on January 06, 2014, 01:47:42 PM
Please don't call me crazy because I am not prepared to renovate my bathroom at this time, or because I don't want to buy a cheap toilet just because it is cheap.

I think several people on this thread do not have a concept of how many times a day a well-hydrated small child will "go", and how little actual urine is produced.  Our toilets do not stink, and we flush when it is needed.  When it is obvious that there is pee in the toilet, we flush.

We don't bother to flush just because someone hovered over the toilet and thought about peeing, or because a chemist *might* be able to isolate traces of pee from the water, if tested. I am not squicked out by the *idea* of pee.

POD. Right now, $30 is a lot of money to us. It is amazing to me that other's ideas about the ickiness of pee trumps my desire for a toilet, in my own home, that has a strong "WOOSH" or my need to save costs however the heck I can, buy letting 2 teaspoons of pee sit in the toilet for a few hours.
We have a tiny home with old, thin walls and a baby who refuses to sleep all night; it would be crazy for me to flush in the dead of night and wake up the baby.
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: Yvaine on January 06, 2014, 02:22:39 PM
We don't bother to flush just because someone hovered over the toilet and thought about peeing

 ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: Yarnspinner on January 06, 2014, 02:59:58 PM
Okay, I admit that, since I am home now and STILL struggling with this %$#@!! UTI, have elected to not flush every time I run in the bathroom.  BUT I am home alone and don't have guests.  (As for the UTI, I saw my "real" doctor today and he has switched me to new meds and arranged for a cat scan to make dead certain I don't have another issue brewing.  Hope that isn't TMI.)
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: EllenS on January 06, 2014, 03:02:58 PM
Okay, I admit that, since I am home now and STILL struggling with this %$#@!! UTI, have elected to not flush every time I run in the bathroom.  BUT I am home alone and don't have guests.  (As for the UTI, I saw my "real" doctor today and he has switched me to new meds and arranged for a cat scan to make dead certain I don't have another issue brewing.  Hope that isn't TMI.)

Wow, that is a beast of an infection!  Hoping you get it kicked very soon.
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: fountainof on January 06, 2014, 04:26:39 PM
Quote
Wow, I'd like to know where you are shopping.
Costco, the low flow dual flush, elongated bowel and it was only something like $90 and it is great.  The government also for a while did a rebate program so lots and lots of great dual flush toilets have been under $100 the last few years.

I think it is fine for people to not flush in their own home for themselves when they are by themselves but I don't think you can instruct guests in your home not to flush, even in the middle of the night as you just shouldn't instruct people on their toilet habits.  Kind of like how I don't think one should ever do a #2 in someone's home unless they are staying over nigh but there is no way to really say that to people without being a freak  :D

I must preface this all by saying I am the kind of person who needs to pretend that body functions don't happen, so someone asking me to specifically not flush may have me running for the door.  I was at my SIL for Christmas and my BIL didn't flush in the powder room and it really bothered me (I had to flush his first no way could I go one top of his) so much that next time I visit I will limit my beverages so I don't need to use the washroom until I get home.
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: bah12 on January 06, 2014, 04:34:20 PM
Quote
Wow, I'd like to know where you are shopping.
Costco, the low flow dual flush, elongated bowel and it was only something like $90 and it is great.  The government also for a while did a rebate program so lots and lots of great dual flush toilets have been under $100 the last few years.

I think it is fine for people to not flush in their own home for themselves when they are by themselves but I don't think you can instruct guests in your home not to flush, even in the middle of the night as you just shouldn't instruct people on their toilet habits.  Kind of like how I don't think one should ever do a #2 in someone's home unless they are staying over nigh but there is no way to really say that to people without being a freak  :D
I must preface this all by saying I am the kind of person who needs to pretend that body functions don't happen, so someone asking me to specifically not flush may have me running for the door.  I was at my SIL for Christmas and my BIL didn't flush in the powder room and it really bothered me (I had to flush his first no way could I go one top of his) so much that next time I visit I will limit my beverages so I don't need to use the washroom until I get home.

How can you even control that?  Trust me, I hate leaving the odorous evidence of what I did in the bathroom behind...it's embarrassing, but I don't think it's even possible to tell people that they can't go number 2 in your house.

The whole flushing debate:  I think what people do in their own house is on them. I would never think to tell someone what the flushing rule was in my house and I guess I just kind of expect people to flush after they go.   I've never been told not to flush when visiting others.  If I was, I'm not sure I'd remember to comply as flushing is just so automatic for me.  I think this whole thing boils down to what should the default be?  I believe the answer to that is flushing.

Now might be a good time to admit that I"m also a sound sleeper.  I don't really hear normal household noices (like a toilet) when I'm sleeping and unless I'm sick, I never wake up to use the bathroom...so the whole noise thing has never been something I've even had to consider.
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: Yvaine on January 06, 2014, 04:42:52 PM
Quote
Wow, I'd like to know where you are shopping.
Costco, the low flow dual flush, elongated bowel and it was only something like $90 and it is great.  The government also for a while did a rebate program so lots and lots of great dual flush toilets have been under $100 the last few years.

I think it is fine for people to not flush in their own home for themselves when they are by themselves but I don't think you can instruct guests in your home not to flush, even in the middle of the night as you just shouldn't instruct people on their toilet habits.  Kind of like how I don't think one should ever do a #2 in someone's home unless they are staying over nigh but there is no way to really say that to people without being a freak  :D
I must preface this all by saying I am the kind of person who needs to pretend that body functions don't happen, so someone asking me to specifically not flush may have me running for the door.  I was at my SIL for Christmas and my BIL didn't flush in the powder room and it really bothered me (I had to flush his first no way could I go one top of his) so much that next time I visit I will limit my beverages so I don't need to use the washroom until I get home.

How can you even control that?  Trust me, I hate leaving the odorous evidence of what I did in the bathroom behind...it's embarrassing, but I don't think it's even possible to tell people that they can't go number 2 in your house.

Yeah, this...if I'm hosting you in my house, you are welcome to use the bathroom for both number 1 and number 2. That's what it's for.
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: Outdoor Girl on January 06, 2014, 04:50:01 PM
Quote
Wow, I'd like to know where you are shopping.
Costco, the low flow dual flush, elongated bowel and it was only something like $90 and it is great.  The government also for a while did a rebate program so lots and lots of great dual flush toilets have been under $100 the last few years.

I think it is fine for people to not flush in their own home for themselves when they are by themselves but I don't think you can instruct guests in your home not to flush, even in the middle of the night as you just shouldn't instruct people on their toilet habits.  Kind of like how I don't think one should ever do a #2 in someone's home unless they are staying over nigh but there is no way to really say that to people without being a freak  :D

I must preface this all by saying I am the kind of person who needs to pretend that body functions don't happen, so someone asking me to specifically not flush may have me running for the door.  I was at my SIL for Christmas and my BIL didn't flush in the powder room and it really bothered me (I had to flush his first no way could I go one top of his) so much that next time I visit I will limit my beverages so I don't need to use the washroom until I get home.

I've had bad experiences with Costco fixtures so that isn't an option for me.  Plus, things like this are a lot more expensive here than south of the border.

I would be very annoyed with a guest who continued to flush the toilet next to my bedroom, waking me, when I'd asked them not to.  Since it is the bedroom that is attached to my room, I'm the one who is most likely to find the leavings in the morning and if I'm OK with that, then I would ask you to respect my decision.  #2, absolutely flush, even if it wakes me.
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: White Lotus on January 06, 2014, 05:07:34 PM
So much depends on local custom and environment!  On boats, as Art2K said, and in many RVs, there is a covered receptacle (ours is a coffee can, covered with adhesive backed paper, and replaced fairly often) for paper.  It is lined with a plastic bag.  It is changed when necessary, but ours has never smelled before getting full enough to change.  Generally, when it's full, the bag is replaced, the full one goes in the trash, and the trash goes to trash-land.  On boats at sea, there is generally an isolated area where trash things that cannot legally and safely be jettisoned (non-organics, mostly, and particularly plastics) are stowed in double bags until there is a proper place for disposal.  The use of water for cleansing (when possible) and minimal amounts of paper, or special toilet wipes, is also encouraged as providing less waste for the can.  In desert areas, cabins, summers, droughts, wells and so on, the "let it mellow" rule often applies -- usually accompanied by "nothing in the head you haven't eaten first" so no paper.
 In some countries, the plumbing is absolutely not designed to take paper or anything other than human waste, and if there is no paper receptacle, it can accumulate in a corner of the room, which is what people do with it (I find this icky, but the bathrooms are cleaned often, and it's the local custom, so I cope.)
Place a clean brick in the tank of a regular toilet, according to our water department, and turn your regular toilet into a lowered-flow one.
I suggest the "flush or not" rule generally is a "local knowledge" thing.
At night? In a house where I have not been asked not to flush?  I flush.  At home, I don't like being awakened by flushes during the night, and if the seat lid is down (and I always keep them down) when I enter a bathroom in the morning and especially if we have guests, I generally flush before peeking if I am unsure.  Our house is old and the bathrooms don't have fans.  If you might leave odors behind, not only would I appreciate it if you flushed, no matter the hour, it would be nice if you opened the window (we have those) and looked around for the air freshener.  I bet there is some close at hand.  There is in our house.
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: Harriet Jones on January 06, 2014, 05:22:19 PM
So much depends on local custom and environment!  On boats, as Art2K said, and in many RVs, there is a covered receptacle (ours is a coffee can, covered with adhesive backed paper, and replaced fairly often) for paper.  It is lined with a plastic bag.  It is changed when necessary, but ours has never smelled before getting full enough to change.  Generally, when it's full, the bag is replaced, the full one goes in the trash, and the trash goes to trash-land.  On boats at sea, there is generally an isolated area where trash things that cannot legally and safely be jettisoned (non-organics, mostly, and particularly plastics) are stowed in double bags until there is a proper place for disposal.  The use of water for cleansing (when possible) and minimal amounts of paper, or special toilet wipes, is also encouraged as providing less waste for the can.  In desert areas, cabins, summers, droughts, wells and so on, the "let it mellow" rule often applies -- usually accompanied by "nothing in the head you haven't eaten first" so no paper.
 In some countries, the plumbing is absolutely not designed to take paper or anything other than human waste, and if there is no paper receptacle, it can accumulate in a corner of the room, which is what people do with it (I find this icky, but the bathrooms are cleaned often, and it's the local custom, so I cope.)
Place a clean brick in the tank of a regular toilet, according to our water department, and turn your regular toilet into a lowered-flow one.
I suggest the "flush or not" rule generally is a "local knowledge" thing.
At night? In a house where I have not been asked not to flush?  I flush.  At home, I don't like being awakened by flushes during the night, and if the seat lid is down (and I always keep them down) when I enter a bathroom in the morning and especially if we have guests, I generally flush before peeking if I am unsure.  Our house is old and the bathrooms don't have fans.  If you might leave odors behind, not only would I appreciate it if you flushed, no matter the hour, it would be nice if you opened the window (we have those) and looked around for the air freshener.  I bet there is some close at hand.  There is in our house.

I've heard to put the brick in a ziptop bag first, as an unprotected brick *might* degrade over time.

My semi-related anecdote about "let it mellow" -- we checked into a motel room once where there was unflushed urine in the toilet. I'm assuming it was a maintenance person who was in the room after housekeeping had been by.  I don't know how long it had been sitting there, but it was *rank* and stunk up the entire room.
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: Outdoor Girl on January 06, 2014, 05:40:42 PM
That would disgust me, too.

I do have a secondary rule to the mellowing, though.  If we've had asparagus for dinner, flush every time!
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: Katana_Geldar on January 06, 2014, 06:11:32 PM
Quote
Wow, I'd like to know where you are shopping.
Costco, the low flow dual flush, elongated bowel and it was only something like $90 and it is great.  The government also for a while did a rebate program so lots and lots of great dual flush toilets have been under $100 the last few years.

I think it is fine for people to not flush in their own home for themselves when they are by themselves but I don't think you can instruct guests in your home not to flush, even in the middle of the night as you just shouldn't instruct people on their toilet habits.  Kind of like how I don't think one should ever do a #2 in someone's home unless they are staying over nigh but there is no way to really say that to people without being a freak  :D
I must preface this all by saying I am the kind of person who needs to pretend that body functions don't happen, so someone asking me to specifically not flush may have me running for the door.  I was at my SIL for Christmas and my BIL didn't flush in the powder room and it really bothered me (I had to flush his first no way could I go one top of his) so much that next time I visit I will limit my beverages so I don't need to use the washroom until I get home.

How can you even control that?  Trust me, I hate leaving the odorous evidence of what I did in the bathroom behind...it's embarrassing, but I don't think it's even possible to tell people that they can't go number 2 in your house.

Yeah, this...if I'm hosting you in my house, you are welcome to use the bathroom for both number 1 and number 2. That's what it's for.
What you do in my bathroom is your business unless you're rifling through the cupboards. If you leave a smell, use the air fresher, if you leave marks, use the brush.
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: Iris on January 06, 2014, 06:22:13 PM
Quote
Wow, I'd like to know where you are shopping.
Costco, the low flow dual flush, elongated bowel and it was only something like $90 and it is great.  The government also for a while did a rebate program so lots and lots of great dual flush toilets have been under $100 the last few years.

I think it is fine for people to not flush in their own home for themselves when they are by themselves but I don't think you can instruct guests in your home not to flush, even in the middle of the night as you just shouldn't instruct people on their toilet habits.  Kind of like how I don't think one should ever do a #2 in someone's home unless they are staying over nigh but there is no way to really say that to people without being a freak  :D
I must preface this all by saying I am the kind of person who needs to pretend that body functions don't happen, so someone asking me to specifically not flush may have me running for the door.  I was at my SIL for Christmas and my BIL didn't flush in the powder room and it really bothered me (I had to flush his first no way could I go one top of his) so much that next time I visit I will limit my beverages so I don't need to use the washroom until I get home.

How can you even control that?  Trust me, I hate leaving the odorous evidence of what I did in the bathroom behind...it's embarrassing, but I don't think it's even possible to tell people that they can't go number 2 in your house.



Some people are more ... predictable ... than others. I don't know why.
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: gramma dishes on January 06, 2014, 08:11:12 PM

...   Costco, the low flow dual flush, elongated bowel and it was only something like $90 and it is great.

I do know that certain medical conditions can result in surgery, one of the side effects of which is a shortened bowel.  Had no idea one could purchase an elongated one!!   ;)
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: CakeEater on January 07, 2014, 04:01:04 AM



I think it is fine for people to not flush in their own home for themselves when they are by themselves but I don't think you can instruct guests in your home not to flush, even in the middle of the night as you just shouldn't instruct people on their toilet habits.  Kind of like how I don't think one should ever do a #2 in someone's home unless they are staying over nigh but there is no way to really say that to people without being a freak  :D

But can I instruct them to look after the baby they've woken at 1am until she goes back to sleep at 4am?  Not any more, but man, if someone had woken my baby when I was chronically sleep deprived in that first 18 months, they would have woken to a pretty gumpy host.

I often, only half-joking, shush people with my, 'You wake 'em, you got 'em' policy.
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: menley on January 07, 2014, 04:31:00 AM
Quote
Wow, I'd like to know where you are shopping.
Costco, the low flow dual flush, elongated bowel and it was only something like $90 and it is great.  The government also for a while did a rebate program so lots and lots of great dual flush toilets have been under $100 the last few years.

I think it is fine for people to not flush in their own home for themselves when they are by themselves but I don't think you can instruct guests in your home not to flush, even in the middle of the night as you just shouldn't instruct people on their toilet habits.  Kind of like how I don't think one should ever do a #2 in someone's home unless they are staying over nigh but there is no way to really say that to people without being a freak  :D
I must preface this all by saying I am the kind of person who needs to pretend that body functions don't happen, so someone asking me to specifically not flush may have me running for the door.  I was at my SIL for Christmas and my BIL didn't flush in the powder room and it really bothered me (I had to flush his first no way could I go one top of his) so much that next time I visit I will limit my beverages so I don't need to use the washroom until I get home.

How can you even control that?  Trust me, I hate leaving the odorous evidence of what I did in the bathroom behind...it's embarrassing, but I don't think it's even possible to tell people that they can't go number 2 in your house.



Some people are more ... predictable ... than others. I don't know why.

Yes, when I was younger I thought it was "ugh, so gross" whenever someone else did #2 at my home and I thought, my gosh, can't they just wait? And then I developed IBS and have learned that waiting is not an option for everyone. Karma on me, I suppose.
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: Yarnspinner on January 07, 2014, 09:10:15 AM
Okay, I admit that, since I am home now and STILL struggling with this %$#@!! UTI, have elected to not flush every time I run in the bathroom.  BUT I am home alone and don't have guests.  (As for the UTI, I saw my "real" doctor today and he has switched me to new meds and arranged for a cat scan to make dead certain I don't have another issue brewing.  Hope that isn't TMI.)

Yarnspinner, has your doctor tested your 'sample'??  The last time I had a UTI, the doctor gave me Cipro, then called me a couple of days later and said that they had done further testing, and my particular bacteria wouldn't respond to Cipro, so they had to call in another prescription for another antibiotic.

And I'm in the 'flush ALWAYS' camp.  I had a friend who had gotten out of the habit of flushing at night because of a light-sleeping aunt, and I *hated* that smell when I got into the bathroom in the morning!  My apartment wasn't that big, and the smell would seep out to the whole apartment.  Ghastly. 
Unless you're going out in the woods, please flush!


Just a quick note on the UTI:  When I got the infection was visiting the family six hundred miles away and pretty much at the mercy of a very young doctor.  Now that I am home, I saw my real doctor who said "Well, that's interesting treatment; the cipro didn't work the first time so they gave you more.  Good plan."  He took me off the cipro and but me on bactrium and this morning, the whole pain seems to be gone.  I can walk again without pain, don't need to look for the bathroom wherever I am and maybe can stop taking the pyridium for pain.  He also sent me for a CAT scan just to rule out stones or another issue, given my history of UTIs and my family's history of stones.  As for the sample:  it was so compromised by antibiotics and pyridium that it tested "clean".  (The doctor at the clinic was baffled by that as well as by the fact that there was blood in the specimen.  "I don't know what's causing that."  Which is when I knew I was dealing with a ding bat.  I should have been more vocal, but I was already feeling miserable.)

Side note about the CAT Scan.  The technician asked if I knew what a CAT scan was and I said "Well, I have seen that on House it causes a lot of sudden fatalities along with the MRI."  She laughed and said "Yeah, but remember, on House, they don't have technicians to run the machines, they only have overworked doctors who don't know what they're doing.  You would think in a hospital that large, Doctor Cuddy would have thought to hire a few radiology techs."  I wanted to give her the address for ehell just so she could write in the Television Pet Peeve thread.
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: bah12 on January 07, 2014, 12:17:32 PM
Quote
Wow, I'd like to know where you are shopping.
Costco, the low flow dual flush, elongated bowel and it was only something like $90 and it is great.  The government also for a while did a rebate program so lots and lots of great dual flush toilets have been under $100 the last few years.

I think it is fine for people to not flush in their own home for themselves when they are by themselves but I don't think you can instruct guests in your home not to flush, even in the middle of the night as you just shouldn't instruct people on their toilet habits.  Kind of like how I don't think one should ever do a #2 in someone's home unless they are staying over nigh but there is no way to really say that to people without being a freak  :D
I must preface this all by saying I am the kind of person who needs to pretend that body functions don't happen, so someone asking me to specifically not flush may have me running for the door.  I was at my SIL for Christmas and my BIL didn't flush in the powder room and it really bothered me (I had to flush his first no way could I go one top of his) so much that next time I visit I will limit my beverages so I don't need to use the washroom until I get home.

How can you even control that?  Trust me, I hate leaving the odorous evidence of what I did in the bathroom behind...it's embarrassing, but I don't think it's even possible to tell people that they can't go number 2 in your house.



Some people are more ... predictable ... than others. I don't know why.

You still can't control that...maybe for yourself but not others.
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: Sophia on January 07, 2014, 01:26:37 PM
I think the discussion has drifted.  (and I was a part of the drift)
The OP had been a guest and was shocked that the host seemed to expect her to not flush at night. 
The discussion has drifted to "What we can do in our own homes."  When, really, there aren't any etiquette rules for what you do in the privacy of your own home.  The real question is,

"Is it an etiquette rule that you shouldn't flush at night while a guest?" 

and I guess

"Can I expect a guest to not flush at night while they are a guest?' 


My personal answer is No and No. 
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: Yvaine on January 07, 2014, 01:39:25 PM
I think the discussion has drifted.  (and I was a part of the drift)
The OP had been a guest and was shocked that the host seemed to expect her to not flush at night. 
The discussion has drifted to "What we can do in our own homes."  When, really, there aren't any etiquette rules for what you do in the privacy of your own home.  The real question is,

"Is it an etiquette rule that you shouldn't flush at night while a guest?" 

and I guess

"Can I expect a guest to not flush at night while they are a guest?' 


My personal answer is No and No.

I think the host can ask, as kind of a "quirks of the house" thing. It's the host's toilet, after all, though the guest might end up grossed out by the results and might decide not to stay there anymore! What you can't do is just expect a guest to magically know that's your house rule and avoid flushing without any kind of communication. If the Gramma of the story had gotten up the next morning and berated OP for flushing, that would be rude. As it is, it's hard to say whether it's an actual rule they failed to communicate, a personal quirk of Gramma's, or even that Gramma just forgot to flush in her sleepy state.
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: Outdoor Girl on January 07, 2014, 02:03:16 PM
"Is it an etiquette rule that you shouldn't flush at night while a guest?" 

and I guess

"Can I expect a guest to not flush at night while they are a guest?' 


My personal answer is No and No.

While I agree that you can say No to both of these, if you were a guest in my home, I would have to reconsider whether or not to invite you to stay overnight if you kept waking me with flushing at night.  Sleep is more precious to me than waking up to a flushed toilet.

Just as you, as a guest, has the option not to visit someone who insists on the toilet not being flushed every time.

I would never insist but waking me in the night ensures you'll have a grumpy Outdoor Girl in the morning.  When I'm wakened, it takes a long time for me to go back to sleep.
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: Hmmmmm on January 07, 2014, 02:07:19 PM
I think the discussion has drifted.  (and I was a part of the drift)
The OP had been a guest and was shocked that the host seemed to expect her to not flush at night. 
The discussion has drifted to "What we can do in our own homes."  When, really, there aren't any etiquette rules for what you do in the privacy of your own home.  The real question is,

"Is it an etiquette rule that you shouldn't flush at night while a guest?" 

and I guess

"Can I expect a guest to not flush at night while they are a guest?' 


My personal answer is No and No.

We flush. I would prefer my guests always flush.

But I think a host can ask for guests to not flush at night because of noise if that is their home norm. I also think hosts can asks guests to "let it mellow" if that is their home norm and they have a need or desire to conserve water. You if there is a septic issue they can ask them to not flush TP.

But if a guest forgets, the host should not admonish them about their forgetfulness.
Title: Re: rude to flush in the wee hours? (yes, I see what I did there)possible squick
Post by: Wordgeek on January 07, 2014, 02:25:22 PM
Insofar as this is an etiquette issue, the matter has been adequately dealt with.