Etiquette Hell

A Civil World. Off-topic discussions on a variety of topics. Guests, register for forum membership to see all the boards. => Time For a Coffee Break! => Topic started by: pierrotlunaire0 on January 29, 2014, 02:02:08 PM

Title: S/O The One Dish -- The One Thing You can't do
Post by: pierrotlunaire0 on January 29, 2014, 02:02:08 PM
I do not have any repeated failures at cooking, and I don't want to derail that thread.

I have been embroidering 50 years (gulp - I'm that old? ???).  If I say so myself, it's beautiful.  But I can not make French knots.  Maybe because I was so young when I started, and I convinced myself it was hopeless back then.  I have learned more complicated techniques since then, but I didn't brain wash myself on those.

Anytime I try, I end up with a snarl.  That is why my theory is that French knots are overrated.  Plus now I really only do counted thread cross stitch, and I don't need knots.

This last year, I started learning quilling, and I was having trouble figuring out how to do a spiral.  In my hind brain, my 8 year old self was screaming, "It's the French knots all over again!"  I did persist, and suddenly I was able to do it.  Not the way the book said (I should be twisting the tool, and not the paper, but I do it backwards of that), but the results are the same and they look right, and once I figured it out, it was easy.

I also do not back into a parking spot.  I always end up crooked, and for all the grunting and panting I do, it is just not worth the effort.

What are your chinks?
Title: Re: S/O The One Dish -- The One Thing You can't do
Post by: Mikayla on January 29, 2014, 02:08:49 PM
Crochet.  A friend and I even took classes at a shop in Old Town Alexandria, and everyone was excited to see what we came up with.   We made afghans.

Hers?  You could put it in a display window anywhere and it would have sold.  Mine?  It got the pregnant pause treatment.  "Oh wow!  That's so......   

Finally, we just laughed at it.  There just weren't words.  But I was disappointed all the same.
Title: Re: S/O The One Dish -- The One Thing You can't do
Post by: magicdomino on January 29, 2014, 02:11:49 PM
Back when I did embroidery, I couldn't do french knots either.  They just kind of disappeared.

Come to think of it, I have trouble backing up a vehicle too.  I blame it on driving a pick-up truck.  The back bumper is so far back that I can't tell where it is. 

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.   :D
Title: Re: S/O The One Dish -- The One Thing You can't do
Post by: GreenHall on January 29, 2014, 02:17:22 PM
BACK into a parking place?  If I pull into the space, and am not over the lines anywhere I call it good.  So often I would go to fix it, and wind up in exactly the same spot, except frustrated, so I made that rule for myself.  I don't purposely park badly, but when the reusults are less than optimal, I just hope no SUVs are also having bad parking days.
Title: Re: S/O The One Dish -- The One Thing You can't do
Post by: English1 on January 29, 2014, 02:29:44 PM
Make a good cup of coffee. I don't drink it. No one in my family drinks it. I cannot work out what colour it is supposed to be. I give up. Poor OH is a very fussy coffee drinker, and now I won't even try.
Title: Re: S/O The One Dish -- The One Thing You can't do
Post by: Morty'sCleaningLady on January 29, 2014, 02:50:16 PM
Make a good cup of coffee. I don't drink it. No one in my family drinks it. I cannot work out what colour it is supposed to be. I give up. Poor OH is a very fussy coffee drinker, and now I won't even try.

Me, too!  I was 'taught' to make coffee by a couple of Irish priests.  They liked their coffee very strong and cooked on top of the Mr. Coffee all day long.  The other priests would always dump my coffee and make a fresh pot.  It took me years to realize that the Mr. Coffee warmer was actually capable of 'cooking' the coffee.  I thought one pot should last all 8 hours of my shift, if no one drank it.
Title: Re: S/O The One Dish -- The One Thing You can't do
Post by: MindsEye on January 29, 2014, 02:52:12 PM
BACK into a parking place?  If I pull into the space, and am not over the lines anywhere I call it good.  So often I would go to fix it, and wind up in exactly the same spot, except frustrated, so I made that rule for myself.  I don't purposely park badly, but when the reusults are less than optimal, I just hope no SUVs are also having bad parking days.

Ditto.

And I will also add - parallel parking.  To the point where if I am driving, and my DH is with me, and we need to parallel park, I will get out of the car and have him do it.  Otherwise we are in for a long stretch of awkwardly lurching forward and backward as I try to inch ever closer to the curb and also not hit the cars in front of and behind the spot I am aiming for...

(I blame the fact that I am quite short and have trouble seeing over the back of the seat...)
Title: Re: S/O The One Dish -- The One Thing You can't do
Post by: metallicafan on January 29, 2014, 03:38:08 PM
BACK into a parking place?  If I pull into the space, and am not over the lines anywhere I call it good.  So often I would go to fix it, and wind up in exactly the same spot, except frustrated, so I made that rule for myself.  I don't purposely park badly, but when the reusults are less than optimal, I just hope no SUVs are also having bad parking days.

Ditto.

And I will also add - parallel parking.  To the point where if I am driving, and my DH is with me, and we need to parallel park, I will get out of the car and have him do it.  Otherwise we are in for a long stretch of awkwardly lurching forward and backward as I try to inch ever closer to the curb and also not hit the cars in front of and behind the spot I am aiming for...

(I blame the fact that I am quite short and have trouble seeing over the back of the seat...)


I can't parallel park either.  I'm embarrassed that I never mastered it.
Title: Re: S/O The One Dish -- The One Thing You can't do
Post by: Library Dragon on January 29, 2014, 03:44:05 PM
I can't parallel park either in a real life situation unless there are limousine car lengths available.  Fortunately I didn't have to get my driver's licence in California. When I had to retake the physical driving test in New Jersey (long story about bureaucracy) the space for the parallel parking was the length of a long haul tractor truck. 

I've never been able to master sewing in a zipper. 
Title: Re: S/O The One Dish -- The One Thing You can't do
Post by: magicdomino on January 29, 2014, 03:46:31 PM
And I will also add - parallel parking.  To the point where if I am driving, and my DH is with me, and we need to parallel park, I will get out of the car and have him do it.  Otherwise we are in for a long stretch of awkwardly lurching forward and backward as I try to inch ever closer to the curb and also not hit the cars in front of and behind the spot I am aiming for...

(I blame the fact that I am quite short and have trouble seeing over the back of the seat...)

I can't parallel park either.  I'm embarrassed that I never mastered it.

I could parallel park when I drove a compact sedan.  Not with the pick-up truck.  Again, it's that pesky back bumper floating around way back there. 
Title: Re: S/O The One Dish -- The One Thing You can't do
Post by: heartmug on January 29, 2014, 03:52:35 PM
I can't sing.  I have tried and tried, but what comes out of my mouth it is so off - key, I have had people tell me that I am just trying to be funny.

Now when I am in the shower......

 :P
Title: Re: S/O The One Dish -- The One Thing You can't do
Post by: Library Dragon on January 29, 2014, 03:56:26 PM
I can't sing.  I have tried and tried, but what comes out of my mouth it is so off - key, I have had people tell me that I am just trying to be funny.

Now when I am in the shower......

 :P

Me neither.  In church my DSs would say, "Mom, don't sing so loud.  You're throwing everybody else off."  I reminded that this is the voice the deity gave me so I'm giving it right back.
Title: Re: S/O The One Dish -- The One Thing You can't do
Post by: GreenHall on January 29, 2014, 04:18:27 PM
And I will also add - parallel parking.  To the point where if I am driving, and my DH is with me, and we need to parallel park, I will get out of the car and have him do it.  Otherwise we are in for a long stretch of awkwardly lurching forward and backward as I try to inch ever closer to the curb and also not hit the cars in front of and behind the spot I am aiming for...

(I blame the fact that I am quite short and have trouble seeing over the back of the seat...)

I can't parallel park either.  I'm embarrassed that I never mastered it.

I could parallel park when I drove a compact sedan.  Not with the pick-up truck.  Again, it's that pesky back bumper floating around way back there.

Parallel parking was not on the driving exam I did (thank deity!). I did take drivers Ed but I think between what we wnt through to get me able to park even head on*  and it not being required - never even brought up.   I have general ideas of what it would involve ( like I do of driving manual) but mostly I just hope it never comes up.

*in a completely empty parking lot, all the other students were upset about the imaginary bumpers I was taking out.  I still park worse sometimes in a more open situation.  The other cars provide a visual guide for where to go.  If they are not there, once the lines are out of sight at I start parking - I don't remember where they are, compared to how much of the turn I've made so far. (Does that make sense?)
Title: Re: S/O The One Dish -- The One Thing You can't do
Post by: Outdoor Girl on January 29, 2014, 04:24:14 PM
For those who have trouble backing up - three words for you:  Back up camera!

My new vehicle has one and I love it.  My brother's driveway is difficult.  He backs down and has taught his sons to do the same.  At Christmas, I had the three of them in the back seat, my Dad was in the front - I was the DD.  I didn't back all the way down but I used the turnaround and got backed right in, no problem, using the camera.  Because I was looking at the camera and not behind me, my nephews thought I was using the mirrors.  Until one of them noticed the camera.  'THAT'S CHEATING', he said.   ;D
Title: Re: S/O The One Dish -- The One Thing You can't do
Post by: Bluenomi on January 29, 2014, 05:08:04 PM
I managed to live in the UK for a year and not have to reverse parallel park once. I hated it so never did it. Until I got my new car with a reverse camera, now it's easy! Not that I have to do it often around here.

I also can't do French knots. I had to teach myself to knit left handed so can only manage basic knitting, nothing fancy.
Title: Re: S/O The One Dish -- The One Thing You can't do
Post by: MinAvi on January 29, 2014, 10:01:51 PM
i can parallel park beautifully... unless DH is in the car.

For some reason if I am by myself, it is a single swoop in and turn the engine off. If he is there it is a painful back and forth, pull out and try again, back and forth, until I finally give up and let him do it.

He always gets it first time too. Fink.

I cant draw or paint to save my life though.
Title: Re: S/O The One Dish -- The One Thing You can't do
Post by: siamesecat2965 on January 29, 2014, 10:32:43 PM
Add me to the list of those who can't parallel park. When I got my license, NJ was experimenting and suspended that requirement, so I didn't have to do it. I also have issues pulling in and out of spaces. I have depth perception issues so I think I Inches from the car next yo me, when it's a foot or more.

The funny thing is at my friends, parking is on the left side of the road in front of her townhouse, with spaces along the curb. I can parallel park on my side beautifully. I think it's because I can see better.

I can't catch or hit or kick a ball or anything. Again, because of my poor vision. If someone throws a ball my way, by the tine I see it and go to catch it, it's smacked me in the face. Needless to say, I despised gym class
Title: Re: S/O The One Dish -- The One Thing You can't do
Post by: GreenEyedHawk on January 30, 2014, 12:21:34 AM
I can 't read music, and it's not for lack of trying.  I can play several instruments but somehow mostly taught myself cheats to get around the block caused by my inability to read music.  I can look at sheet music and I understand the notes and stuff, but somehow I can't translate what's on the paper to what I'm supposed to do with my hands.
Title: Re: S/O The One Dish -- The One Thing You can't do
Post by: cicero on January 30, 2014, 02:57:26 AM
Reverse driving - I physically *can* drive in reverse (i don't mean "back into a space" -  i mean "drive in reverse down a street") - but i really really don't like to and have been known to drive extremely out of my way in order to avoid doing so. I always feel very much out of control (i haven't owned a car for about 9 years so i don't really drive much, that could also have something to do with it).

(I *can* paralel park and back into a parking space - my driving instructor was great at teaching me that)

Small talk - i am bad at it, i hate it, i always seem to draw conversations to a screeching halt.

Title: Re: S/O The One Dish -- The One Thing You can't do
Post by: Baby Snakes on January 30, 2014, 09:44:55 AM
I cannot knit to save my life - my knitting looks like kittens have been playing in it.

I crochet beautifully and have made several garments and afghans.

I used to love counted cross stich but my eyes have gotten so bad I've had to give it up. :-\
Title: Re: S/O The One Dish -- The One Thing You can't do
Post by: Thipu1 on January 31, 2014, 09:45:20 AM
Tatting.  My Mother was very talented.   I can't remember how many beautiful collars she made for my dresses when I was a child.  I tried, I really did but I could never get the hang of dropping my finger at the right time. 

I also never got the hang of knitting or crocheting.  That was probably because I'm left-handed and everyone who tried to teach me was right-handed.  I was, however, very good at needlepoint and embroidery. 
Title: Re: S/O The One Dish -- The One Thing You can't do
Post by: Hmmmmm on January 31, 2014, 09:53:56 AM
Thought about this again this morning. I can not gargle. I won't even try anymore.
Title: Re: S/O The One Dish -- The One Thing You can't do
Post by: Outdoor Girl on January 31, 2014, 10:47:47 AM
I also never got the hang of knitting or crocheting.  That was probably because I'm left-handed and everyone who tried to teach me was right-handed.

If you want to try again, sit across from the person trying to show you so you are mirroring their movements instead of sitting beside them, trying to copy their movements.  I've managed to teach a lefthanded friend this way.
Title: Re: S/O The One Dish -- The One Thing You can't do
Post by: pierrotlunaire0 on January 31, 2014, 12:10:26 PM
Thought about this again this morning. I can not gargle. I won't even try anymore.

CRUD MONKEYS!!  Me, too.  Unless you count gagging, wheezing and lurching about the bathroom as gargling.
Title: Re: S/O The One Dish -- The One Thing You can't do
Post by: amylouky on January 31, 2014, 12:13:58 PM
I can't snap my fingers. Or do the "fingers in your mouth" whistle, although I can whistle normally okay. I also can't do the hand under the armpit fart sound.
Title: Re: S/O The One Dish -- The One Thing You can't do
Post by: Optimoose Prime on January 31, 2014, 05:58:25 PM
I can't do french knots, either.  Or parallel park.  Or make decent gravy without a mix. 

Apparently, I am hopeless.  :P
Title: Re: S/O The One Dish -- The One Thing You can't do
Post by: turtleIScream on January 31, 2014, 06:41:55 PM
I cannot clean. I try to clean my house, and it isn't gross, but I can't seem to get the sparkly clean look and smell. Even microfiber rags, the heaven-sent cleaning supply that works miracles, leave fuzzies and streaks behind when I use them. I so wish I could afford a maid service.
Title: Re: S/O The One Dish -- The One Thing You can't do
Post by: Luci on January 31, 2014, 06:59:54 PM
Repot plants. We have the healthiest sego palm in the world in a pot. I have repotted it twice.
Poor little guy must be mine - it has scoliosis just like me. There are several other of his brethren around including nice cacti. All healthy but really slanted/crooked.
Title: Re: S/O The One Dish -- The One Thing You can't do
Post by: gmatoy on January 31, 2014, 07:08:13 PM
I can't sing.  I have tried and tried, but what comes out of my mouth it is so off - key, I have had people tell me that I am just trying to be funny.

Now when I am in the shower......

 :P

Me neither.  In church my DSs would say, "Mom, don't sing so loud.  You're throwing everybody else off."  I reminded that this is the voice the deity gave me so I'm giving it right back.

I always say, "the Bible says 'Make a joyful noise,' it doesn't say: sing on tune!"
Title: Re: S/O The One Dish -- The One Thing You can't do
Post by: gmatoy on January 31, 2014, 07:12:39 PM
Tatting.  My Mother was very talented.   I can't remember how many beautiful collars she made for my dresses when I was a child.  I tried, I really did but I could never get the hang of dropping my finger at the right time. 

I also never got the hang of knitting or crocheting.  That was probably because I'm left-handed and everyone who tried to teach me was right-handed.  I was, however, very good at needlepoint and embroidery.
My mother, a righty, taught many a lefty how to crochet. She sat in front of a mirror and had them watch her in the mirror!
Title: Re: S/O The One Dish -- The One Thing You can't do
Post by: soupmom on February 01, 2014, 03:51:43 PM
Blow up a balloon.  For some reason I can't produce the steady stream of air needed to blow one up. 
Can't whistle either.  Nothing comes out when I purse my lips.

I'm not sure why I never learned either of these skills.

Title: Re: S/O The One Dish -- The One Thing You can't do
Post by: #borecore on February 01, 2014, 04:03:10 PM
Balloons, most parking,  most handicrafts,  and definitely singing and dancing. The common element is a lack of depth perception,  coordination, and musical sense. I surely will never learn an instrument, skate well, or be any sort of daredevil. It's just not in me!

I can whistle,  but I cannot modulate it at all to make a tune.
Title: Re: S/O The One Dish -- The One Thing You can't do
Post by: GreenHall on February 01, 2014, 04:48:05 PM
Blow up a balloon.  For some reason I can't produce the steady stream of air needed to blow one up. 
Can't whistle either.  Nothing comes out when I purse my lips.

I'm not sure why I never learned either of these skills.
I can generally get the balloon inflated.  I have about a 25% success rate getting it tied off.  Maybe a little higher if getting it tied, while no longer inflated counts.
Title: Re: S/O The One Dish -- The One Thing You can't do
Post by: faithlessone on February 01, 2014, 05:17:25 PM
Count me as another one who can't parallel park - unless I'm alone. If there is no one in the vicinity, in or out of the car, I can do it without any issue, but if I even dimly think there might be someone watching me, my skills go out the window.

I cannot catch. Not sure whether it's a depth perception issue or a mild phobia, but I am almost completely incapable of catching anything thrown at me.
Title: Re: S/O The One Dish -- The One Thing You can't do
Post by: Library Dragon on February 01, 2014, 09:35:05 PM
I can't snap my fingers. Or do the "fingers in your mouth" whistle, although I can whistle normally okay. I also can't do the hand under the armpit fart sound.

I forgot about these two. I can only snap the fingers of my left hand, not my right. 

I cannot whistle at all.

I am not physically coordinated. When I used to do aerobics the moment I finally got the routine down they change it because everyone else is bored.
Title: Re: S/O The One Dish -- The One Thing You can't do
Post by: daen on February 02, 2014, 08:07:05 PM
Count me as another one who can't parallel park - unless I'm alone. If there is no one in the vicinity, in or out of the car, I can do it without any issue, but if I even dimly think there might be someone watching me, my skills go out the window.

I cannot catch. Not sure whether it's a depth perception issue or a mild phobia, but I am almost completely incapable of catching anything thrown at me.

I was convinced I couldn't catch. My husband told me I could, and kept lobbing easy ones at me. Couple the easy throws with a generous dose of positive reinforcement with every catch, and I am now pretty confident, with a high success rate.
(All bets are off if you put a baseball glove on my hand and expect me to play catch, or worse - outfield.)
Title: Re: S/O The One Dish -- The One Thing You can't do
Post by: Lady Snowdon on February 02, 2014, 09:20:58 PM
I wish there was only one thing I couldn't do!  :P

I can't crochet, knit or sew on a sewing machine. 

I can't whistle.

I can't bake.  Cooking is fine, baking is not.

I can't swim well.

Title: Re: S/O The One Dish -- The One Thing You can't do
Post by: StarFaerie on February 03, 2014, 03:49:53 AM
I cannot clean. I try to clean my house, and it isn't gross, but I can't seem to get the sparkly clean look and smell. Even microfiber rags, the heaven-sent cleaning supply that works miracles, leave fuzzies and streaks behind when I use them. I so wish I could afford a maid service.

Oh thank goodness there is someone else like me! Even with the best cleaning supplies it never comes out right.

I can't parallel park or reverse park.

I also cannot wink. I try, but both eyes will close unless I hold one in place with my hand.
Title: Re: S/O The One Dish -- The One Thing You can't do
Post by: cicero on February 03, 2014, 03:52:45 AM
I cannot clean. I try to clean my house, and it isn't gross, but I can't seem to get the sparkly clean look and smell. Even microfiber rags, the heaven-sent cleaning supply that works miracles, leave fuzzies and streaks behind when I use them. I so wish I could afford a maid service.

Oh thank goodness there is someone else like me! Even with the best cleaning supplies it never comes out right.

I can't parallel park or reverse park.

I also cannot wink. I try, but both eyes will close unless I hold one in place with my hand.
I can only wink my left eye.
Title: Re: S/O The One Dish -- The One Thing You can't do
Post by: GreenEyedHawk on February 10, 2014, 08:29:31 AM
I'm the opposite of Library Dragon.  I can snap my fingers with my right hand, but not my left.
Title: Re: S/O The One Dish -- The One Thing You can't do
Post by: VorFemme on February 10, 2014, 11:10:01 AM
I can't wink with my right eye, only my left eye.

I can knit, sew, & embroider - but my crochet looks like it was done by Captain Hook (book reference to Peter Pan) - I gave up trying so long ago, I no longer remember why it looked so bad...just that it did look that bad.

I can't make biscuits (breakfast staples in the American South - I use the ones in the can from the cooler at the store).  The ones I make are NOT light & fluffy...other baking turns out as expected - not breakfast biscuits. 



Title: Re: S/O The One Dish -- The One Thing You can't do
Post by: Seraphia on February 10, 2014, 11:47:37 AM
For the longest time (almost ten years), I couldn't do French knots either - I tied a square knot in my thread and pretended it was the same thing. Then I watched a tutorial (needlenthread.com) and the lightbulb went on in my head. I was supposed to start winding on the needle with my loops stacking toward the point, and I was doing it stacking toward the eye. Drawn directions are not my friend in embroidery!

Things I have definitely tried and failed to learn:
knitting - I could probably try again some time but I was so frustrated trying to learn the first time.
juggling - nope!
whistling - also nope! Jealous of people who can.
precalculus - I understand a few of the basic principles, but if you give me a proof to solve I start getting hives.
Title: Re: S/O The One Dish -- The One Thing You can't do
Post by: mumma to KMC on February 10, 2014, 12:15:26 PM
Sewing, I cannot sew, I cannot wrap my mind around the idea of a pattern. I end up in tears. If i do attempt to sew, I need absolute quiet for at least 4 hours and well, I have kids, that's not happening :)

I can make an awesome pillow, and a made a super blanket cape for my son for Christmas, so I get the concept, but if there is a pattern, I'm done for.

I've also tried knitting and crocheting, but for some reason I just can't get it. I have the hooks, I have yarn, I have the desire, but I just can't do it.
Title: Re: S/O The One Dish -- The One Thing You can't do
Post by: Crazy Chicken Lady on February 10, 2014, 12:53:00 PM
I can't ride a bike. I used to be able to when I was a kid but stopped when I was about 10. I didn't attempt to start again until a couple of decades later and was surprised to learn that I couldn't do it any longer. I think it's a combination of overthinking, my natural clumsiness and a fear of falling.   :P
Title: Re: S/O The One Dish -- The One Thing You can't do
Post by: VorFemme on February 10, 2014, 03:41:11 PM
For the longest time (almost ten years), I couldn't do French knots either - I tied a square knot in my thread and pretended it was the same thing. Then I watched a tutorial (needlenthread.com) and the lightbulb went on in my head. I was supposed to start winding on the needle with my loops stacking toward the point, and I was doing it stacking toward the eye. Drawn directions are not my friend in embroidery!

Things I have definitely tried and failed to learn:
knitting - I could probably try again some time but I was so frustrated trying to learn the first time.
juggling - nope!
whistling - also nope! Jealous of people who can.
precalculus - I understand a few of the basic principles, but if you give me a proof to solve I start getting hives.

I was in my thirties before I started making French knots that stayed put - I had joined a cross stitch group that met at a quilt shop (also sold embroidery supplies & did framing - have to make enough money to pay the rent & utilities and the owner needs to pay HER other bills at home).  One of the other members "walked" me through doing it a few times and it finally worked.  I think I was winding the wrong direction, too.

I also found that moving the needle over ONE thread instead of going back through the same hole helped a lot....
Title: Re: S/O The One Dish -- The One Thing You can't do
Post by: Dazi on February 10, 2014, 08:02:50 PM
I can't dance.   It's not like I have two left feet,  more like five.
Title: Re: S/O The One Dish -- The One Thing You can't do
Post by: dawnfire on February 10, 2014, 08:45:28 PM
I can crochet well but can't knit for peanuts
Title: Re: S/O The One Dish -- The One Thing You can't do
Post by: Otterpop on February 10, 2014, 11:36:30 PM
Sewing, I cannot sew, I cannot wrap my mind around the idea of a pattern. I end up in tears. If i do attempt to sew, I need absolute quiet for at least 4 hours and well, I have kids, that's not happening :)

I can make an awesome pillow, and a made a super blanket cape for my son for Christmas, so I get the concept, but if there is a pattern, I'm done for.

I've also tried knitting and crocheting, but for some reason I just can't get it. I have the hooks, I have yarn, I have the desire, but I just can't do it.

I can't sew either.  I think it has to do with not being able to "see" and manipulate the flat 2-D pattern to 3-D in my head.  There are all these weird shaped pieces that I can't figure out how they fit together.  Following step by step instructions is like creating something blind.  Some times it comes out right, sometimes it doesn't.  I've created horrendous, ill fitting garments from yards and yards of expensive fabric many times.  Pillows and valances are easy because of the straight lines.  Try something curvy and fitted and it goes from machine to scrap pile.

Plus, my machine sabotages me by snagging fabric, breaking threads and making me untangle the bobbin from underneath the carriage.  It hates me and I hate it.  It lives in the closet, new, pristine and undisturbed.
Title: Re: S/O The One Dish -- The One Thing You can't do
Post by: VorFemme on February 11, 2014, 07:48:54 AM
Sewing, I cannot sew, I cannot wrap my mind around the idea of a pattern. I end up in tears. If i do attempt to sew, I need absolute quiet for at least 4 hours and well, I have kids, that's not happening :)

I can make an awesome pillow, and a made a super blanket cape for my son for Christmas, so I get the concept, but if there is a pattern, I'm done for.

I've also tried knitting and crocheting, but for some reason I just can't get it. I have the hooks, I have yarn, I have the desire, but I just can't do it.

I can't sew either.  I think it has to do with not being able to "see" and manipulate the flat 2-D pattern to 3-D in my head.  There are all these weird shaped pieces that I can't figure out how they fit together.  Following step by step instructions is like creating something blind.  Some times it comes out right, sometimes it doesn't.  I've created horrendous, ill fitting garments from yards and yards of expensive fabric many times.  Pillows and valances are easy because of the straight lines.  Try something curvy and fitted and it goes from machine to scrap pile.

Plus, my machine sabotages me by snagging fabric, breaking threads and making me untangle the bobbin from underneath the carriage.  It hates me and I hate it.  It lives in the closet, new, pristine and undisturbed.

It's not that YOU can't sew - it's that you need a better tempered machine!

I used to have a vampire machine, it sewed fine, as long as it got to "bite me" about once a year....

One more thing that I remembered - I can't whistle loudly.  I can whistle, but it is hard to hear me over six feet (about two meters) away.  Just call me "Breathless".....