Etiquette Hell

A Civil World. Off-topic discussions on a variety of topics. Guests, register for forum membership to see all the boards. => Time For a Coffee Break! => Topic started by: hopeful4 on March 14, 2014, 07:41:08 AM

Title: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: hopeful4 on March 14, 2014, 07:41:08 AM
Just thinking about the thread regarding the roommate's guests helping themselves to any food in the kitchen no matter to whom it belonged.  What is your roommate hell story? 

I replied about my first college roommate who was a townie and so had a lot of local friends who would visit.  They would help themselves to my pop.  She had to know it was mine as she only stocked diet pop.  She never mentioned it or replaced what her visitors took but rolled her eyes when I mentioned it. 

The other issue I had with her was she was a night owl while I had early classes.  No matte how quiet I would try to be in the morning, it was never quiet enough.  I even took to wrapping a belt around the handles of my closet door so that it wasn't open but wasn't totally closed as the doors would make a clicking sound when opened or closed.  That wasn't good enough for her.  But it did not stop her from playing her music so loudly at night that I could hear it at 1 or 2 in the morning as I tried to sleep, even though she wore earbuds. 

I am sure I was not the perfect roommate but all the effort to get along seemed to be on my side.  I know I am not the only one with a bad roommate story.  What is yours?
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: mechtilde on March 14, 2014, 07:44:56 AM
One of my roommates was always on a diet- but couldn't resist pulling chunks out from the underside of my cake with her fingers, thinking no-one would notice...

Not to mention the time she cut up some raw chicken and then put the chopping board back unwashed!

Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: camlan on March 14, 2014, 07:59:48 AM
I had a college roommate who jumped out of bed one morning yelling that I was making too much noise and had woken her up. At the time, I was folding a flannel nightgown. Never been really sure what she thought she had heard.

I mean, she was so insistent that I be quiet in the mornings that I did not use an alarm clock. I'd get out of bed, pick up the clothes I'd laid out the night before (so I wouldn't have to open the dresser drawers or closet), open the door as quietly as possible, and head for the bathroom to shower, get dressed and do my hair. I'd come back to the room, pull my sheets up but not really make the bed, fold my nightgown, put on my shoes, grab my knapsack and leave.

But that was still too much noise. And then she'd complain that my bed looked messy until I got back to the room around 2 or 3 pm to make it.

It got to the point where I'd just ignore what she was saying, wait until she finished, say "Sorry" and get on with my life.

Another roommate in college. The college near enough to my grandmother that I could take public transportation out to see her. It was about an hour and a half each way, so I visited only a few times a semester. Grandma invited me out for a special birthday dinner. Then as a birthday gift, she gave me a batch of her famous cookies. She didn't have much money, but she was an incredibly good baker. I also knew that her arthritis made baking difficult for her, so this was a gift of love.

I got back to the dorm and offered my roommate a cookie, telling her these were a special gift from Grandma. Then I put them away. The next morning, I went to grab a couple of cookies to take with me for the day. There were none left.

Roomie and her friends had gotten the munchies in the middle of the night and she took my cookies and shared them around.

Another time, I went to get some quarters to do laundry, and found that Roomie had discovered my stash of quarters and taken most of them. She didn't understand why I was upset about that either. For one thing, I didn't have much spending money in college, only what I could earn in my work study job, which paid about $20 a week. So someone taking $10 worth of quarters hurt my budget.

For another thing, there were no change machines in the dorms. You had to save up your quarters to do laundry. So now, I really needed to do laundry, but didn't have the right change. I had to go door to door asking people if they had 4 quarters for a dollar bill. People did this all the time in the dorms, but I didn't like to do it, so I simply saved up my quarters. I certainly wasn't saving them up so Roomie didn't have to go around asking for change.

Roomie never did understand why I was upset with her, and, I found out later, started telling not-true stories about me around the dorm--that I never shared anything, that I would come back to the room and count the number of crackers in  the box to see if Roomie had eaten any, that sort of thing.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: o_gal on March 14, 2014, 08:55:02 AM
This isn't about my roomie, who was a sweet girl, but about her boyfriend. Her Evil Boyfriend. But it directly related to her and our room sharing.

I was a junior, she was a sophomore. In freshman year, she had met and started seeing Evil Boyfriend. EB was very controlling - wanted her to only do stuff with him, cut out her friends, monopolized her time, interfered with her studies so her grades dropped, etc. He did a really bad number on her psychologically, and for her sanity, her parents made her break it off with him just before the school year ended. During the summer, they would not permit her to contact him and rebuffed any contact he attempted. She was actually very grateful to them, because it let her see just how bad and Evil he was. She came back and did not intend to get back together with him.

But EB had other plans. Within the first week, he was showing up at our room at all hours to beg her to take him back. Like as early as 6am, which means that it impacted me. I answered the door one day and read him the riot act over it, but it didn't stop him. We both reported him to the RAs but even they couldn't get him to leave her alone. The early morning visits continued, as EB was trying to wear her down by talking to her when she wasn't quite awake yet and very vulnerable. RA and I were trying every avenue we could to get him stopped but nothing was working. The school was turning a blind eye, so to speak, on the whole thing. We were about to get the police involved, if we could (local cops might have tried to turn it back to contacting campus police, who probably wouldn't have done anything.)

Until the day about 5 or 6 weeks into the school year that I had a premonition that morning during classes that she might just need to quit school. Then when I returned to the room that afternoon, she was gone. Her parents had finally had enough and since the school wouldn't do anything, they did. They came and yanked her out of there. I came home to her half of the room empty. EB was in for a shock the next morning  >:D
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: kherbert05 on March 14, 2014, 09:10:35 AM
Suite mate and RA not roommate. Her roommate had been asked to leave due to "unstable" behavior. Suitemate was treated with kid gloves after that, and basically allowed to get away with anything short of murder.


She would play Prince and Amy Grant over and over and over again full blast - forget noise complaints we got in trouble for complaining not her for breaking the rules. So I was happy when her jambox broke. Then she went to the RA - told her I had taken her Jambox got the RA to unlock my room and took mine. This happened several times - even after I told the RA that the radio was mine. The RA had just gotten my jambox out of my room again, and was in suitemate's room when I got home. I went in took her tape out, and was leaving with my belongings. The RA threatened to call the cops for my stealing the jambox. I calm and cold as ice got my DL and pointed out my DL number was engraved on the Jambox. She accused me of stealing the Jambox and engraving my DL number on it.


I went to the campus police and Dean of students and filed an official complaint. My 2nd one against the RA. (The first was after I told her I had been exposed to peanuts and needed emergency medical care  - she said she had a party to get to and I should drive myself to the ER). Basically RA had her master key taken away and if someone got locked out we had to go to the RA down the hall to be let in. She was a junior and wasn't hired back her senior year.


The RA tried to rally support for her and hatred for me - but everyone on the hall couldn't stand the RA, and couldn't stand my Suitemate. Every time suitemate broke rules - especially noise rules complainers were called names by the RA because poor suitemate was so traumatized by her roommates departure. So of course the rules didn't apply to suitemate. RA tried to blame me for the finall act that got the roommate sent home. She had stolen my allergy meds. She even called the campus cops implying I was either an addict or a pusher. (I had daily allergy meds, allergies are kicking my rear meds, and deadly reaction meds in my room.) They laughed at her. Kicker - Suitemate and her Roommate hated each other.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: gingerzing on March 14, 2014, 09:15:38 AM
My first college roommate (first semester of my freshman year) was a sophmore and nice enough at first, but had the whole "what's mine is mine and everything in the room is mine...even if it is yours."  She mocked me when I joined a sorority, but would wear my sorority sweatshirts.  Usually my brand NEW sweatshirts.  Granted, she would wear them inside out, but cut the tags.  She loaned my stuff like my cassette tapes* and told people that they could just keep them.  My stuff always smelled like AquaNet since she would do her hair twice a day during the week and three times on the weekends. 
The worst, and the reason I ended up moving out of the room before the end of the semster, was the night she brought home a "boyfriend" to hook up with. I was in the room asleep!  Added bonus, he thought it would be extremely hi-lar-re-ous if he crawled into bed with me.   >:(   Yeah, I wasn't amused.  Moved into my friend's dorm room that next week -getting permission about 2 weeks later -  and never spoke to first roommate again. 

*usually small stuff like that.  Not my little TV or books.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: SeptGurl on March 14, 2014, 09:26:27 AM
My dorm roommate during my freshman year ...

- Lied on her dorm application about not being a smoker, so I got stuck with a smoking roommate. There was nowhere I could be moved.

- Burned strawberry incense every day to "cover" said cigarette smoke.

- Tried to kick me out of the room when her fiance came to visit. When I had nowhere to stay and complained to the RA, Roommate and fiance had to go to a motel. They tried to force me to pay the bill.

- Cheated on said fiance with a teaching assistant, who was married with children.

- Tried to sell drugs out of our room for extra money because her parents cut her off. (The drugs were caffeine pills she bought from the back of a magazine. She wanted to pass them off as "real" drugs. No one bought them. Because they weren't actually illegal drugs, the RA wouldn't do anything.)

- Stole my money, my clothes, other belongings, and any food I had in the room.

- Failed her classes and didn't come back sophomore year. I never saw her again. And for that I'm grateful.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: Morty'sCleaningLady on March 14, 2014, 10:27:19 AM
Coley definitely won!

My Freshman year roommate had her boyfriend over a lot.  I slept in anyone else's bed that was available.  Then, one morning, I got particularly disgusting while working at my cafeteria job, so I had to re-shower before class or my library time.  I walked in on that roommate in bed with her boyfriend's best friend.  She would also 'snuggle' during study sessions with any man.  As best I could tell, snuggling, while horizontal, at least required clothing.  At least the clothing was on while I was across the room at my desk studying.

After the end of the semester we went our separate ways.  She eventually transferred to a more 'free' campus (read more open to things like sleeping with your boyfriend and his best friend).  Did I mention that I went to a religious college?
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: AzaleaBloom on March 14, 2014, 10:44:15 AM
When I moved out of my parents' house as an adult (in my mid 20's), I rented a room from a couple.  Which was a mistake. 

The female half ("Kelly") had some issues.  She could go from cheerful and upbeat to completely flipping out in less than a minute.  The male ("Larry") was nice enough, but was a self-professed "Mama's Boy" who was more than happy to let Kelly take care of everything - and she was more than happy to do so, as long as EVERYONE knew how hard she worked.

I generally kept to myself - I had the master bedroom with my own half bathroom, and generally went out 4-5 nights a week.  I ate at different times than they did, and for the first few months, things were fine.

Then Larry and Kelly started having problems.

It started when Kelly came home from work one day.  I was chilling in the living room, and she walked in the door.  She went upstairs, and all of a sudden, I started hearing outbursts of swear words, along with "He did NOT just do that!"  She ran into the basement (aka Larry's Man Cave) and started SCREAMING about him about using her stuff.  (although she didn't say stuff.)  I ran upstairs, hid out until it was time for me to go out for the evening, and got out as fast as I could.  When I returned three hours later, it had apparently still been going on, because when I passed Larry in the hallway, he was muttering about crazy people ranting about stupid things.  I have no clue what he used, or why it was that big of a crisis that he used it - and from what I gathered, she had never even told him he couldn't use it.

Kelly refused to run the air conditioning.  We live in a humid climate.  In the summer, it quickly became unbearable.  Opening windows does nothing when the humidity remains in the 60% range.  Larry and I both put window units in our rooms.  I only ran mine when I was sleeping.  He would leave his on all day.  Kelly would leave nasty notes directed at me for leaving my air conditioning on - knowing full well that I didn't do so.  It was easier than actually talking to Larry, though.

Then she turned on me.  On good days, she gave me the silent treatment.  On bad days, she would scream at me for the pettiest infractions.  One time, she and Larry were eating in the living room while I was in there.  He and I were on good terms.  He squeezed the ketchup bottle and it made a loud farting noise.  I made a joke about it, Larry responded with another one, we both laughed.  Kelly hissed at him, "Do NOT talk to her."  I left the room.  I figured it was safer.

Larry's "job" was to take out the trash.  Kelly would not do it, and the one time I did it, she snapped at me that it was LARRY'S job and I was NOT to EVER take the trash out again.  So, as you can imagine, we ended up with a serious fruit fly problem in the kitchen.  While I was out for the day, Larry sent me a quick text saying he was going to bug bomb the kitchen.  The problem seemed to go away.  Then Larry let the trash pile up again, Kelly refused to let anyone take it out, and it happened again.  Kelly made a comment about how it was a good thing that he had to bug bomb the kitchen again, because "It's about time he did something."

Kelly's birthday arrived.  Despite the fact that she was being incredibly nasty to me, I still bought her a small gift - a $10 gift card to a business she patronized on a regular basis, along with a funny card.  I gave it to her in front of Larry, and her initial response was to not say anything.  Larry gave her a look, and she finally mumbled "Thanks."

Somewhere in this time frame, they broke up, but both continued to live there.  I didn't know about the break-up - nothing had been said to me, and nothing was said on Facebook.  In fact, Kelly still had herself listed as "In a relationship", while Larry's relationship status was blank.  Kelly continued to interact with Larry like they were a couple.  I had no clue that they were no long together.  The only hint I had that something was up was when Larry said to me that he "might" be moving out, but nothing was settled, and I didn't need to worry about it because it probably wasn't going to happen.

Then I came home one night from choir practice, and heard loud voices from the basement.  Larry was telling Kelly that she needed to leave, because while he would always care about her, he wanted to move on - and wanted to start bringing girls to the house.  She was sobbing hysterically.  I ran up to my room, shut the door, and waited until I heard one of them come upstairs for the night before I went downstairs to finally eat dinner.  (at about 10:30 PM)

That was when I found out that they had broken up.  And that was when Kelly turned on me completely.

If I was in the same room as her, she would glare daggers at me.  My back would actually start to hurt from the tension.  She would snap at me for simply existing.  She began leaving passive-aggressive notes around the house directed at me.  One of them lectured me about leaving lights on in the main bathroom and basement all day.  I didn't use those rooms in the morning.  There was no way it could have been me - and she knew it.  Prior to this, she didn't care if I used any of their stuff.  In fact, we had agreed when I moved in that it would be fine.  After this, she would flip out about it.  In the meantime, she had no problem with sitting on the couches that I had brought with me when I moved in.  (before that, the only living room furniture they had was a lawn chair.  I bought two couches, an end table, and a coffee table.)

I finally had enough.  It came to a head the night I was watching a show that had been DVR'd.  That had never been a problem - in fact, when I moved in, Larry told me to feel free to add things and watch whatever I wanted.  She started SCREAMING that she had a very specific way she recorded shows and I was not allowed to watch them.  Larry stood there silently.  I left the room.  And from that point forward, I refused to be in the room with her.  There was nothing I could say that would make things better, and she couldn't be reasoned with.

I got on Craigslist, found a nice soon-to-be-divorced woman in her late 30's looking to rent a room, and gave my notice.

When I gave Kelly my notice, her immediate response was, "Well, you know I'm moving out, but whatever."

The notes continued.  She tried to claim I owed her money for food items I had used.  Of those items, the only one I had used had been flour.  She then tried to claim I hadn't paid for internet.  I had incorporated into my rent check.  I did forget once, she told me - nicely - and I promptly paid her and apologized.

I had given them a small deposit when I moved in.  When I gave her my final rent check, I included $20 to cover things she claimed I used (not worth the fight), and told her to keep the deposit to cover the remainder of the month.  (I was moving out halfway through.)  She started sputtering that she needed that money and I would get it back when Larry got new roommates.  I refused.  I knew she had spent the deposit money the minute she got it.

I moved out.  I took several pictures when I moved out of the room in case she tried to claim damage.  Larry inspected when I left (Kelly was, thankfully, at work), and he said everything was fine.  He apologized when I left, saying that he didn't know that Kelly was going to behave the way she did.  I told him that it would have made things a lot easier had he told me they had broken up.  He got a puzzled look on his face, "I thought I did ... you know, when I said I might be moving out?"  Nope.

I had a much better time with my next roommate.  I only moved out of her house because I moved in with my now-DH, and we ended up renting the whole house from her later on.  :)
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: SingActDance on March 14, 2014, 10:46:18 AM
Not my story, but my best friend's experience with her freshman roommate. It started with the general "bad roomie" stuff (taking her food, borrowing clothes without asking, etc.) The kicker came when one night, Roommate said to BF that if she heard her talking in the middle of the night to not get freaked out because it's just THE GHOST OF HER DEAD STEPBROTHER WHO SOMETIMES VISITS HER AT NIGHT.

BF moved out shortly after that.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: SamiHami on March 14, 2014, 10:50:34 AM
This isn't about my roomie, who was a sweet girl, but about her boyfriend. Her Evil Boyfriend. But it directly related to her and our room sharing.

I was a junior, she was a sophomore. In freshman year, she had met and started seeing Evil Boyfriend. EB was very controlling - wanted her to only do stuff with him, cut out her friends, monopolized her time, interfered with her studies so her grades dropped, etc. He did a really bad number on her psychologically, and for her sanity, her parents made her break it off with him just before the school year ended. During the summer, they would not permit her to contact him and rebuffed any contact he attempted. She was actually very grateful to them, because it let her see just how bad and Evil he was. She came back and did not intend to get back together with him.

But EB had other plans. Within the first week, he was showing up at our room at all hours to beg her to take him back. Like as early as 6am, which means that it impacted me. I answered the door one day and read him the riot act over it, but it didn't stop him. We both reported him to the RAs but even they couldn't get him to leave her alone. The early morning visits continued, as EB was trying to wear her down by talking to her when she wasn't quite awake yet and very vulnerable. RA and I were trying every avenue we could to get him stopped but nothing was working. The school was turning a blind eye, so to speak, on the whole thing. We were about to get the police involved, if we could (local cops might have tried to turn it back to contacting campus police, who probably wouldn't have done anything.)

Until the day about 5 or 6 weeks into the school year that I had a premonition that morning during classes that she might just need to quit school. Then when I returned to the room that afternoon, she was gone. Her parents had finally had enough and since the school wouldn't do anything, they did. They came and yanked her out of there. I came home to her half of the room empty. EB was in for a shock the next morning  >:D

That is so sad that she had to interrupt her life and education to get away from a stalker.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: wolfie on March 14, 2014, 10:54:57 AM
This isn't about my roomie, who was a sweet girl, but about her boyfriend. Her Evil Boyfriend. But it directly related to her and our room sharing.

I was a junior, she was a sophomore. In freshman year, she had met and started seeing Evil Boyfriend. EB was very controlling - wanted her to only do stuff with him, cut out her friends, monopolized her time, interfered with her studies so her grades dropped, etc. He did a really bad number on her psychologically, and for her sanity, her parents made her break it off with him just before the school year ended. During the summer, they would not permit her to contact him and rebuffed any contact he attempted. She was actually very grateful to them, because it let her see just how bad and Evil he was. She came back and did not intend to get back together with him.

But EB had other plans. Within the first week, he was showing up at our room at all hours to beg her to take him back. Like as early as 6am, which means that it impacted me. I answered the door one day and read him the riot act over it, but it didn't stop him. We both reported him to the RAs but even they couldn't get him to leave her alone. The early morning visits continued, as EB was trying to wear her down by talking to her when she wasn't quite awake yet and very vulnerable. RA and I were trying every avenue we could to get him stopped but nothing was working. The school was turning a blind eye, so to speak, on the whole thing. We were about to get the police involved, if we could (local cops might have tried to turn it back to contacting campus police, who probably wouldn't have done anything.)

Until the day about 5 or 6 weeks into the school year that I had a premonition that morning during classes that she might just need to quit school. Then when I returned to the room that afternoon, she was gone. Her parents had finally had enough and since the school wouldn't do anything, they did. They came and yanked her out of there. I came home to her half of the room empty. EB was in for a shock the next morning  >:D

What happened when he came back the next morning?
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: padua on March 14, 2014, 10:58:24 AM
my first college roommate had a problem with stealing. from everyone. she had piles of things in her closet from various stores and our other four roommates (each dorm had six roommates- this women shared an actual room with me). she would cross their names out with pen and write her own initials underneath.

she was also a compulsive lier. she ruffled quite a few feathers when she told our roommates that she was sleeping with their boyfriends.

when she was mad at me, she threatened to cut my hair off when i slept. good thing i didn't sleep much. after one such threat, my other roommates put her stuff out on the porch in plastic bags and told her it was time to leave. thank goodness. she terrified me.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: MindsEye on March 14, 2014, 11:07:17 AM
my freshman year college room mate was (in my opinion) both extremely spoiled and way to used to her mother doing everything for her.

And she thought that I was there to take over the "mother" role for her... she expected me to do everything for her from waking her up in the morning in time to get to her classes to reminding her to do her homework and study for tests to doing her laundry for her.  Yeah, no. 

She didn't last very long out on her own without mommy to take care of her, and dropped out before the end of the first semester.  In a way, I felt sorry for her.  She was technically an adult (over 18) but was not at all prepared for (or even capable of) doing things for herself and on her own. 
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: Valentines Mommy on March 14, 2014, 11:38:25 AM
My first college roommate was awful. It made me feel better after I moved out to learn she was a nightmare on purpose and planned to be no matter who shared her room.

My first apartment was a town home. It was a 2 bedroom/2 bathroom. Each room was a two person room. If you wanted a room to yourself, you paid double. She wanted a single but didn't want to pay double. So she set out to be the worst roommate ever.

She:
1. Slept with the stereo on all night. She threatened me with bodily harm if I turned it off or down. Never mind that it was my stereo. I called a friend and had him pick up the stereo. That's when she decided to leave my tv on all night. I need 7-8 hours of sleep to function. I was getting 3-4.

2. She complained if I tried to study in my room. The computer was too bright or I typed too loudly. I worked when she wasn't around.

3. Accused me of being dirty. Leaving used personal items and such in the bathroom. Nope! I always left the shared spaces tidy because I hated the nasty notes she'd leave for me.

4. Gave herself black eye and told our other roommates I hit her.

5. Brought random guys over to stay in our room.

6. My roommates caught her loosening the chain on my bike. And weakening seams in my clothes.

7. Ate my food. I went vegan for a month so that stopped her.

8. Cried to everyone that my parents yelled at her when my mom called.

9. Used racist insults to address me upon finding out that I wasn't white.

I lasted a month. She threw a chair at me and told me I was a loser, would always be a loser and that I should kill myself. I was 18. I called mom and dad. Who read the comes the riot act and found me a new placement. I moved to a different apartment with way better roommates. I told all three I was leaving and I would be taking everything I brought with me so they might want to start planning for it.

The nice roommates (who declined to get involved beyond the bike incident) got upset when the realized my moving out was going to cost them a lot of money. What my three roommates failed to realize was I brought: tv, computer, pots and pans, dishes, cutlery, cutting boards, spices, kitchen utensils, VCR (it was the 1990s), the bookshelves, the toilet paper, paper towels, bar soap, cleaning stuff etc. Mom and I had been buying and storing stuff I'd need for college for 2 years. Mom supervised the move to my new space with a checklist. She made sure that if I brought it in, we took it back. The nightmare wanted her own room and she got it but the other roommates weren't happy when they came home that night to find empty spaces when the stuff I planned to share had been. One of the girls said that first trip to the bathroom was highly annoying when she found the tp gone.

To wrap this up, the nightmare only had the room to herself for a month. The complex gave the nightmare a choice: pay double or we put someone else in here. The nightmare refused to pay more. According to the nice roommates, the nightmare got her worst nightmare as a new roommate. She was miserable, unable to sleep, and the first time she threatened the new girl, the nightmare got hers. The police were called. The nice roommates said the nightmare missed me and that I was a good roommate. I really didn't miss them.


Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: Octavia on March 14, 2014, 06:24:44 PM
My bad roommate experiences were all during college.

My first roommate seemed like a decent person and we got along well. But she quit college and moved out with the help of one of her friends late one night. Then the calls from the FBI started. They were looking for her. Never knew why but I've always wondered.

A later roommate never washed her towels or sheets. Her defense is that she is always clean when she uses them, so they never need to be washed. You can imagine what our 12'x12' dorm room smelled like after a semester of that. Fortunately she moved out and into an apartment with her boyfriend after the semester was up. Otherwise I would have moved out.

The next roommate I'll call "superglue." She had to go everywhere I went and was not able or willing to make her own friends. The only time she would leave the room is for classes and to go somewhere with me. It was suffocating. I'm an introvert so sharing a 12'x12' dorm room with another person is difficult enough. But this pushed me over the edge. After failing to get her to understand that I needed my own life, I in turn became the roommate from Hell and ended up giving her the Cut Direct. While still living together. I'm not proud of that and would do things differently if given the chance.

I moved off campus into a two-bedroom apartment with wall-to-wall carpet, even in the bathroom. My roommate moved in with her cat. The cat did not use the litter box. Ever. Every morning I got up there was a new surprise to clean up, as well as a few times throughout the day. It was disgusting. Roommate did not care. The landlord convinced her to move out after one semester because the cat was destroying the house.

Next roommate was no better. She was as responsible as a small child. She regularly left her house key in the front door lock. Right outside of the door was the sidewalk in the downtown of a major city that had some major crime. We were lucky that her irresponsibility never resulted in any unwelcome visitors. I'm not proud of this either but every time she would come into the house I'd quietly check to see if she had left her key in the door, and if she did I'd remove it and hide it. I'd then feign concern and puzzlement while she tore the place apart looking for the key, and watch quietly as the landlord would come over with yet another copy of the key for her (with a hefty charge of course). After that semester was over I moved into my own efficiency apartment. Never had another roommate again.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: Lady Snowdon on March 14, 2014, 07:26:23 PM
My housemate junior year of college.  We were so different from each other - should have never shared an apartment!

- She wanted us to have a set roster of chores and put up a schedule on the refridgerator.  I noticed that somehow I was the one who was responsible for doing the heavy duty cleaning (vacuuming, cleaning the bathroom, etc) four times per week, and she was only on there twice.  Hmmmm.

- She let her boyfriend do whatever he wanted to the apartment.  It became my fault when I didn't clear off the table enough for him to paint his miniatures, or when I preheated the oven without removing the bread he stuck in there.  It was also my fault when I let him rearrange the living room furniture and she didn't like it.

- She dumped a bag of trash on my bed one day because I didn't take it out right away in the morning.  I was planning to take it out that afternoon, after my classes were over.  I hadn't taken it out for a few days, because I was buying trash bags and didn't want to throw away bags that were only half full.  According to her, I was trying to convince mice, cockroaches and fruit flies to come live with us.

My roommate right out of college was who convinced me I shouldn't share a home with anyone except my DH, though.  We had completely different schedules, and ended up fighting all the time over "being noisy".  I said she was being noisy when she came in after partying at 2 or 3 in the morning.  She said I was being too noisy when I got up for work at 4 or 5 in the morning and woke her up because she'd just fallen asleep.  We hated the other's tastes in food, so the kitchen was always a battleground if we tried to cook around the same times.  That was an awful year.  After that, I moved into my own apartment, and lived alone until I moved in with my DH after our engagement. 
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: LemonZen on March 14, 2014, 09:49:50 PM
When he was in college, my DH had some pretty terrible roommates. He was the primary name on the lease and sub-let to a variety of other guys, which ended up badly more often than not.

The worst one though was the roommate who holed up in his room with 3 computers and a multitude of electronics. He got so lost in his WoW games he quit his job (or got fired, not sure) and only came out for occasional junk food runs. The electric bills more than tripled because of him and he refused to pay for any of it. It was getting to be hundreds of extra dollars every month that  DH had to pay for electricity. When he finally moved out, it was discovered that he was so oblivious to the world that he let all the water evaporate out of his (large) aquarium and his poor fish suffered the consequences. He also left the tank for my DH to clean up. >:(
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: Amanita on March 15, 2014, 12:51:59 PM
Valentines Mommy, your Nightmare roommate is lucky she never met me. You see, I can be surprisingly patient, even with people who don't deserve such forbearance. But the moment Nightmare tried to physically threaten me, it would be on like Donkey Kong. You see, I was bullied and tormented by my classmates for years, and that's one thing I've lost all patience for. Nightmare would get the courtesy of one warning from me- That after spending a decade as a night watchwoman, I've learned a thing or two. I've scared off real criminals, so a two-bit bully like her is nothing. I'd remind her of that. There's also the dark little "what-if" survival scenario game I tend to play on a lot of my jobsites. If I had to defend myself against a determined attacker and running away wasn't an option, what things in my environment could be used as weapons of convenience? Even the pen I write reports with might make a nice stabbing weapon if need be. That mop handle, piece of conduit pipe or scrap wood? Hello staff and club. Common workplace or household cleaning agents? Yikes! And let's not even get into what I might find in a kitchen or lab, or toolbox.
I wouldn't overplay my hand by telling her all the dirty tricks I've thought up over the years, but I'd happily let her know that attempting to act on her threats would not bode well for her comfort or health.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: cass2591 on March 15, 2014, 02:22:14 PM
I neglected to tell my dorm roommate that I had a tendency to talk in my sleep. I was 18 and I grew up in a household where anger prevailed. The first night we were there I must have had a bad dream because pre dawn my new roommate, who was relatively shy then, woke up to me screaming "Get the 'eff' out of here now!!". Diane, my roommate, thought I meant her so she left the room and slept the rest of the night in the lounge.

That morning she said nothing and I had no knowledge of it, and despite that we got to be good friends. She didn't tell me this story for months. I was horrified but she was amused because by then she knew me well enough to know that wasn't my style when awake. There were also no other such incidents so I think that helped reassure her.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: Valentines Mommy on March 15, 2014, 03:57:46 PM
Valentines Mommy, your Nightmare roommate is lucky she never met me. You see, I can be surprisingly patient, even with people who don't deserve such forbearance. But the moment Nightmare tried to physically threaten me, it would be on like Donkey Kong. You see, I was bullied and tormented by my classmates for years, and that's one thing I've lost all patience for. Nightmare would get the courtesy of one warning from me- That after spending a decade as a night watchwoman, I've learned a thing or two. I've scared off real criminals, so a two-bit bully like her is nothing. I'd remind her of that. There's also the dark little "what-if" survival scenario game I tend to play on a lot of my jobsites. If I had to defend myself against a determined attacker and running away wasn't an option, what things in my environment could be used as weapons of convenience? Even the pen I write reports with might make a nice stabbing weapon if need be. That mop handle, piece of conduit pipe or scrap wood? Hello staff and club. Common workplace or household cleaning agents? Yikes! And let's not even get into what I might find in a kitchen or lab, or toolbox.
I wouldn't overplay my hand by telling her all the dirty tricks I've thought up over the years, but I'd happily let her know that attempting to act on her threats would not bode well for her comfort or health.

Nightmare was awful. But in the end, my new roommates were awesome. So it worked out.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: SouthernBelle on March 16, 2014, 10:05:09 AM
This reminds me of a funny story.

In my first year of law school I lived in an on-campus, 4-girl apartment.  One girl was working on her masters, the other two were seniors.

Two of us had TVs, me and one of the undergrads.  There was an antennae attachment in the living room.  We agreed to put the undergrad's TV there as the screen was larger.  That one got more channels as a result.  Mine was in my bedroom.  The rule was that if you wanted to watch something on one of the antennae channels, you got dibs on the living room.  There was no problem with someone watching in the bedroom.

For most of the year this wasn't a problem.

One night there was some major TV event, think Super bowl or Oscars, and several of us were getting ready to watch including 3 of us roomies and several guests.  But the owner of the LR TV didn't want to watch that.  She wanted to watch something else which could be viewed on mine.  She decided to pout, then argue, then threw out the "It's my TV" card.

We stood looking at her a moment.  Then I went to my bedroom, got my TV, hooked it up to the antennae, handed her TV to her and we watched whatever.  The rest of the group was torn between dying laughing and being dumbfounded I had the nerve.

She was a little immature.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: HorseFreak on March 16, 2014, 10:49:05 AM
I had an extremely immature 18 year old roommate in an apartment when I was a senior in college. She and the other roommate who was getting her Master's went out drinking (18 yr old had a fake ID). The bars closed and they wanted to drink more, but the liquor store was closed as well. They drank my 4-pack of Jack Daniel's Country Cocktails which were pretty hard to find.

I really wouldn't have minded so much except the WHINING when I asked her to replace them that she wasn't 21 and thus not legally able to buy beer and couldn't possibly be expected to replace them. I told her to figure it out and things got mighty cool from there on out.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: camlan on March 16, 2014, 11:18:44 AM
I had forgotten all about my picky roommate until this thread. I think I blocked that year from my memory.

We were in grad school and knew each other and it seemed that we'd be a good match as roommates, so the second year of our program, we got an apartment together. One thing "Jane" told me was that during the summer, she didn't throw food scraps/waste into the kitchen garbage, but put them in a plastic bag in the freezer, and then threw that bag out on trash day. Which, okay, a little fussy for my liking, but I could live with it.

Well, it turned out that Jane had a lot of little rules that that, for the kitchen, the bathroom, the bedroom, and general cleaning of the apartment.

The food scrap bag turned out to be not just for the summer, but all year long. Then she poured some sort of liquid in it, and it ran all over the freezer, so she started double-bagging it, which made it a bit more difficult to deal with. Then she developed a special sort of twist and knot to close it, that I had to copy exactly.

Then she caught me making a salad, with the food scrap bag on the counter, handy for me to toss all the bits and pieces of the vegetables that I was trimming and cutting into. Oh, no, the bag couldn't possibly be left on the counter. I was to keep the bag in the freezer, and bring it to the counter only when I was done fixing all the vegetables. Oh, and egg shells? They had to be put in their own, special plastic bag before they could go in the food scrap bag, so any egg left in them wouldn't leak out.

She used dish clothes to wash dishes; I used a sponge. I had to stop using the sponge. I had to remember to put those strainers from the sink drains in the dish washer every time I ran it. She left things in the dish drainer only while she washed dishes, then she'd dry them. I left things in the dish drainer until they were dry, then I'd put them away. Oh, no! That was sloppy housekeeping and not allowed.

I didn't use bleach when I cleaned the bathroom. That had to change. I vacuumed the public rooms of the apartment--living room, dining room, hallway--in the wrong order. I vacuumed the kitchen! Oh, the horror! Even though it was the best way to get the cat fur off the floor, her mother had never vacuumed the kitchen, so that too was sloppy housekeeping.

She made her bed immediately after she got out of it in the morning. I made mine after breakfast. Again, filthy, dirty habit. But I argued that she couldn't control what I did in my own room, and she finally backed down.

She never actually complained about how clean I got things, or the results of any of my housework. We had worked out a chore chart, and we both kept on top of the chores.

But it was the constant, non-stop niggling about *how* I did just about everything that wore on my nerves. It got to the point where I wasn't cooking and baking as much as I used to, because those activities had gone from being a fun way to escape from grad school to a time of torment, because I wasn't doing things my way; I was forced into doing them her way. And it got hard to remember all her little rules. And she'd get so upset if I forgot to put the sink strainer in the dishwasher, for example, and go off on a rant about how filthy my habits were.

No one thing that she wanted me to do was a burden. Some of them were a little silly, but in my attempt to be a good roommate, I kept that thought hidden. It was more the fact that every single thing had to be done her way. That every thing I did was "wrong." Not "different," just "wrong." And I got tired of always having to do things her way, of always giving in so she wouldn't get upset.

So I sat her down one afternoon and told her things weren't working out. She was very surprised to hear that. I gave her the choice of picking out which three things she wanted me to do in the kitchen, which three in the bathroom, etc. I had a list of them all for her. She argued and argued that my ways were "wrong," but I stood firm. I may not be the world's best housekeeper, but I'm not a slob and my house is clean.

She was very upset and complained to our friends. Fortunately, the friends were not as sympathetic as she would have liked, and mostly took my side.

She moved out when the lease was up, and had to get an apartment by herself, as no one would live with her.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: kategillian on March 16, 2014, 12:35:04 PM
I had a roommate that got into some sort of trouble with her sorority, I never got the whole story. They began to make trouble for her, and as a result she only left out room to go to classes and at no other time. Let me repeat that. She NEVER left the room unless she was going to class. No weekends home, no movies, no coffee dates. She was there when I got up in the morning and there when I got home from school. When I left for work, and when I came home. Just. Always. There.
Despite all of this she managed to get a boyfriend, met him in class I guess? So a couple times a week I got to listen to them play Scrabble.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: squashedfrog on March 16, 2014, 02:33:33 PM
My housemate was someone I thought was my best friend.

She lied about having cancer, and only six months to live.  She told us that she was moving home to die, and she wanted us to remember how like she was now, before it began to eat away at her.

 It turned out she was a con artist, running up almost thirty thousand in debt at the house in credit cards, loans and store cards.   

I also found out when she left that as a karting gift she told my bf I was cheating on him (with a guy who sh 'd been dumped by) in the hope he'd beat him up.

We were able to trace her to another address, this time in London and warn them. She was attempting to do the same thing there, and when she was found out, she disappeared into the night, telling the land lady and some rather big men who came to move her stuff thAt her then housemate was her boyfriend who had beaten and raped her, so that's why she had to get out at three in the morning.

Diety help that woman now.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: o_gal on March 17, 2014, 07:31:46 AM
Until the day about 5 or 6 weeks into the school year that I had a premonition that morning during classes that she might just need to quit school. Then when I returned to the room that afternoon, she was gone. Her parents had finally had enough and since the school wouldn't do anything, they did. They came and yanked her out of there. I came home to her half of the room empty. EB was in for a shock the next morning  >:D

What happened when he came back the next morning?

He came a little after 6am and knocked. I didn't answer. He went away for a little bit, then knocked again. I still didn't answer. Then he went away for a long time, probably to get breakfast. When he came back, it was just as I was leaving for an early morning class. He tried to get in the room and I did something to block him and told him she was gone. He didn't believe me and still wanted to get in, so I just held the door open wide and let him see that all her stuff was gone. The look of utter shock and complete disbelief on his face was priceless. After that, I only saw him occasionally as we both crossed over the campus.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: SamiHami on March 17, 2014, 09:15:15 AM
I had forgotten all about my picky roommate until this thread. I think I blocked that year from my memory.

We were in grad school and knew each other and it seemed that we'd be a good match as roommates, so the second year of our program, we got an apartment together. One thing "Jane" told me was that during the summer, she didn't throw food scraps/waste into the kitchen garbage, but put them in a plastic bag in the freezer, and then threw that bag out on trash day. Which, okay, a little fussy for my liking, but I could live with it.

Well, it turned out that Jane had a lot of little rules that that, for the kitchen, the bathroom, the bedroom, and general cleaning of the apartment.

The food scrap bag turned out to be not just for the summer, but all year long. Then she poured some sort of liquid in it, and it ran all over the freezer, so she started double-bagging it, which made it a bit more difficult to deal with. Then she developed a special sort of twist and knot to close it, that I had to copy exactly.

Then she caught me making a salad, with the food scrap bag on the counter, handy for me to toss all the bits and pieces of the vegetables that I was trimming and cutting into. Oh, no, the bag couldn't possibly be left on the counter. I was to keep the bag in the freezer, and bring it to the counter only when I was done fixing all the vegetables. Oh, and egg shells? They had to be put in their own, special plastic bag before they could go in the food scrap bag, so any egg left in them wouldn't leak out.

She used dish clothes to wash dishes; I used a sponge. I had to stop using the sponge. I had to remember to put those strainers from the sink drains in the dish washer every time I ran it. She left things in the dish drainer only while she washed dishes, then she'd dry them. I left things in the dish drainer until they were dry, then I'd put them away. Oh, no! That was sloppy housekeeping and not allowed.

I didn't use bleach when I cleaned the bathroom. That had to change. I vacuumed the public rooms of the apartment--living room, dining room, hallway--in the wrong order. I vacuumed the kitchen! Oh, the horror! Even though it was the best way to get the cat fur off the floor, her mother had never vacuumed the kitchen, so that too was sloppy housekeeping.

She made her bed immediately after she got out of it in the morning. I made mine after breakfast. Again, filthy, dirty habit. But I argued that she couldn't control what I did in my own room, and she finally backed down.

She never actually complained about how clean I got things, or the results of any of my housework. We had worked out a chore chart, and we both kept on top of the chores.

But it was the constant, non-stop niggling about *how* I did just about everything that wore on my nerves. It got to the point where I wasn't cooking and baking as much as I used to, because those activities had gone from being a fun way to escape from grad school to a time of torment, because I wasn't doing things my way; I was forced into doing them her way. And it got hard to remember all her little rules. And she'd get so upset if I forgot to put the sink strainer in the dishwasher, for example, and go off on a rant about how filthy my habits were.

No one thing that she wanted me to do was a burden. Some of them were a little silly, but in my attempt to be a good roommate, I kept that thought hidden. It was more the fact that every single thing had to be done her way. That every thing I did was "wrong." Not "different," just "wrong." And I got tired of always having to do things her way, of always giving in so she wouldn't get upset.

So I sat her down one afternoon and told her things weren't working out. She was very surprised to hear that. I gave her the choice of picking out which three things she wanted me to do in the kitchen, which three in the bathroom, etc. I had a list of them all for her. She argued and argued that my ways were "wrong," but I stood firm. I may not be the world's best housekeeper, but I'm not a slob and my house is clean.

She was very upset and complained to our friends. Fortunately, the friends were not as sympathetic as she would have liked, and mostly took my side.

She moved out when the lease was up, and had to get an apartment by herself, as no one would live with her.

I'd have lost it when she said to freeze the garbage.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: Outdoor Girl on March 17, 2014, 09:24:58 AM
I don't have a problem with freezing the food garbage - I do the same thing, myself, in the summer months so as not to stink up the place and the garbage can.  I also don't use a sponge on dishes because they can harbour bacteria.

But everything else?  I'd have killed her.  Or she'd have killed me.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: alkira6 on March 17, 2014, 09:34:20 AM
Yeah, wouldn't have lasted the month with her.  I minimize bleach use, use a sponge and fry it in the microwave every two days if I don't chuck it in the dishwasher when I'm running a sanitize cycle on glassware, and almost never make the bed.  She could either adjust to how another person did things as long as they got done well or she could go pound sand.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: siamesecat2965 on March 17, 2014, 10:50:25 AM
Yeah, wouldn't have lasted the month with her.  I minimize bleach use, use a sponge and fry it in the microwave every two days if I don't chuck it in the dishwasher when I'm running a sanitize cycle on glassware, and almost never make the bed.  She could either adjust to how another person did things as long as they got done well or she could go pound sand.

I wouldn't have lasted a week! I use disposable handi-wipes, and chuck them and get a new one at random intervals. I don't use bleach at all to clean since I can't stand the smell of it. I also don't make my bed. well, very rarely, if at all.

I have been known to leave some smelly garbage in the fridge, in a bag, if my can isn't full and I know i won't be taking the trash out anytime soon, but freezing, and esp. the specific way to tie and knot the bag? OH NO.

Regarding the egg shells? doesn' having a liner in the garbage can negate the need for them to have their OWN bag?

Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: pierrotlunaire0 on March 17, 2014, 12:41:28 PM
My senior year in college, I had the worst roommate for me.  We were each 22, but she thought I was about 25, and I thought she was barely 18.  I was running around, doing what I could to get into grad school, and she wanted to spend her time whining that she didn't want to go to college. 

She even had a talk with me, and to prove that she was right, she mentioned that another student on the floor didn't like me either.  "Yeah?  She's also extremely racist, and my boyfriend is of a different race.  I'm going to put any weight to her opinion?"

She complained the one time that I held a party, because she didn't want strangers in our room, stealing her stuff.  "Really?  Because the people I have asked I know very well, and you keep telling me about the people that you have just met during your midnight walks and you invited them.  Who was the guy last night?  Oh, that's right, you didn't even know his name but you asked him to the party."  She also announced (with great martyrdom) that she would help me clean the room after my party, so I never cleaned so fast and so hard in my life before she was back from breakfast.  That upset her also.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: StuffedGrapeLeaves on March 17, 2014, 01:40:11 PM
I had a roommate in college who would love to denigrate my stuff, but then would borrow it anyway without telling me.  The last straw came when she went in and took my new formal dress that I was saving for a dance, and tried to wear it to the same dance.  At the time she was a good five inches shorter and 20 pounds heavier than me, so there was no way it was going to fit her even if I did allow her to borrow it.  I threw a fit when I saw her trying to squeeze herself into the dress an hour before the dance, and called the RA.  Fortunately I got moved to a different room soon thereafter.  She tried telling everyone how mean I was, but since she had also used a lot of other people, no one believed her. 
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: Tini on March 17, 2014, 02:42:31 PM
When I lived in halls, one of the girls on our floor decided that it would be reasonable to dry raw duck's stomachs in the shared kitchen. She rinsed them in a couple of colanders, spread them out and left the colanders in the heated kitchen with bloody water pooling underneath. The smell after a couple of days was quite astonishing. A visiting friend commented that all that was lacking was flies crawling all over them. In the end we complained to the administrator who came, took a look and a sniff, went EEEWWW and told her to get rid of it. Neighbour was quite outraged. Apparently since this was food it was not possible for it to stink.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: faithlessone on March 17, 2014, 03:29:14 PM
I've talked about my demon housemate, "Clare" on here before, but here are some of the highlights:

- If she was going to bed, the house had to be silent. Any noise at all, including (but not limited to) watching television, listening to music, using the kitchen or bathroom, talking with eachother, using the phone, would result in her having a huge fit or spending the following day slamming doors and loudly calling her boyfriend and telling him how horrible we all were.

- She became obsessed with knowing where everyone was, insisting on a sort of wall-chart where we had to put down all classes, events and other plans in advance. If we left the house for any reason, we had to write on the whiteboard where we were going and what time we might be back. If we complained, refused, or just didn't do it, she burst into tears and claimed she just wanted to make sure we were all safe.

- This didn't stop her, however, leaving the house for days on end to go home or visit her boyfriend, without telling any of us.

- She was a compulsive liar, particularly on the subject of her family. She frequently claimed that her mother/grandmother/grandfather/sibling (it changed often) was very sick and close to death. She also claimed, at various points, to have a dead twin sister, have a blind/paralysed/comatose father, and to be the illegitimate daughter of a minor royal. At various other points, she refused to have ever said any of that, and once accused our fellow housemate of gaslighting her on the subject.

- She dropped out of university in April, shortly before the end of the Spring term, and went home. She didn't take any of her belongings, bar a small suitcase of clothes and a couple of knick-nacks. She refused to pay rent, claiming that if she wasn't at university anymore, she didn't have to. (This was an off-campus house with a landlord, not university housing). Luckily our contract stated we were individually responsible for our own rent, so I and the other three housemates weren't penalised for this.

- She refused to come and collect her belongings, but threatened to sue us all if we touched them. (We boxed them up and left them in her room, so they could be easily picked up.)

- The day before we were due to move out (end of June), she turned up, with her (perfectly healthy) parents, and threw a total fit. She was furious that we had been in "her" room, that we had touched her stuff, and that we hadn't been concerned about her. Genuinely, she was incandescent with rage that we hadn't been calling her every day to see if she was okay, hadn't flooded her social media with pleas for her to come back, hadn't travelled 200 miles (during exams!!) to visit her.  Her parents agreed, saying that we were horrible people and toxic, and it was our fault that Clare had dropped out of uni.

(Nope, I'm pretty sure the fact that she slept through half her lectures, had to get extensions on most of her essays because of "mental health issues", and hadn't got a passing grade in anything for her entire second year was why she dropped out.)

Luckily they then stormed out, promising that they were going to sue us all for 'emotional distress', and we never saw or heard from them again.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: aiki on March 17, 2014, 07:18:06 PM
(Nope, I'm pretty sure the fact that she slept through half her lectures, had to get extensions on most of her essays because of "mental health issues", and hadn't got a passing grade in anything for her entire second year was why she dropped out.)

I dunno, "mental health issues" seems to be an entirely accurate assessment of the problem. 
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: JustEstelle on March 17, 2014, 10:11:40 PM
Out of my college roommates, I had two good ones and three doozies.  The two good ones became good friends of mine but I haven't seen or spoken to the other three since we parted ways (when one of us moved out).

First semester freshman year - roomie was a "party girl."  Most of the time, her side of the room looked like her closet had exploded.  Stuff all over her bed that got shoved to the floor when she slept and then picked up and dumped back on her bed when she got up in the mornings.  It was common for her to sleep through her alarm . . . or get up and turn mine off before I got up.  And we both had 8 o'clock classes.  Her mom came to visit one weekend, and that was the only time all semester that roomie cleaned and picked up her side of the room.  I left a damp towel draped over the back of my desk chair after showering that morning and then went out for a few hours.  Came back to find the same damp towel folded and on my bed (still damp!) and roomie's mom proceeded to lecture me on nasty habits.  I put the towel back where I'd had it and then went across the hall to the bathroom.  Not gone five minutes.  Came back to the towel again folded and on my bed.  I snapped then and told roomie's mom in no uncertain terms not to touch my stuff again, that she didn't live there and what I did really wasn't her business. 

During the holiday season that year, roomie decided to get a tree and decorate it.  No big deal.  But she wanted to have the tree lit and lights flashing at all hours of the night, whether she was in the room or not.  One night in particular, I had a bad headache and had gone to bed early.  A study light, if roomie had wanted to read/study in our room, wouldn't have bothered me but a treeful of green and blue lights all flashing simultaneously made it impossible for me to relax, much less go to sleep and stay asleep.  Roomie was down the hall visiting with someone, and she'd pop into our room periodically just to turn the tree lights on and then leave.  When it became apparent that she wasn't returning soon, I'd turn them off and lie back down.  I'd no sooner start to doze off than she'd return and turn the tree lights back on and leave again.  I finally did say something to her about it, and she stopped.

Fall semester junior year - my roomie was a freshman.  Nice enough girl, for the most part, but absolutely spoiled rotten and no boundaries whatsoever.  When she realized that our dorm was rather cool year round and you'd need a blanket even in warm weather, she saw that I'd brought two blankets (both for my own use) and told her mother not to bother buying her a blanket, as I had two.  Never had she asked if she could use one and never had I offered.  I set that straight quickly and told her and her mom that I used both blankets and that she needed to get her own and not depend on mine.  We had a cold spell in mid-September and roomie only had sandals to wear.  I offered to let her borrow a pair of socks one morning and that seemed to make her think that my stuff was just there for the taking.  I went to get a pair of socks for myself the next day and found them already worn and dirty and back in my drawer.  I had to tell her to go buy her own socks and not get into my drawers.  She'd loan out food and utensils that I'd bought.  The straw that broke the camel's back was when I noticed my yearbook missing and found out that she'd loaned it out to someone.  Didn't know who.  Just some girl down the hall.  I made her go get it for me.  Then, probably the next day, I was sitting at my desk studying and some girl I didn't know (but roomie did) just waltzed into our room, walked over to my desk, reached over my head and took down my yearbook.  We had to have a little CTJ meeting over that one. 

Summer school, doing graduate work - I didn't realize it at the time but I really should have used commuter housing that summer ($13 a night, Monday through Wednesday nights - no classes on Friday) and gotten a private room but I thought that it would be cheaper for me to live on campus for those few weeks instead of trying to commute.  When I signed up for housing, I asked for a non-smoker.  I got a smoker.  To her credit, she didn't smoke in our room, but the smell stayed on her, so our room smelled.  She wanted to sleep with all the lights on, snored like an old man and criticized everything I did.  I wound up moving out before the end of my classes just to get some peace.  I did see her again in passing the next summer, but I gave her the "cut direct" and looked right through her. 

Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: faithlessone on March 18, 2014, 02:44:03 AM
(Nope, I'm pretty sure the fact that she slept through half her lectures, had to get extensions on most of her essays because of "mental health issues", and hadn't got a passing grade in anything for her entire second year was why she dropped out.)

I dunno, "mental health issues" seems to be an entirely accurate assessment of the problem. 

Oh, I'm not disputing she had mental health issues. I'm just saying they weren't our fault. ;)
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: shadowfox79 on March 18, 2014, 03:02:56 AM
I'm starting to feel very fortunate, reading these. As a student, my group got split into two houses (too many of us to go into one, with the best will in the world) and both houses ended up with one crap roommate, but not quite as bad as these stories - well, mine wasn't, anyway.

"Tracey" began OK, but gradually became a pain in the rump. She would take over the entire kitchen when she cooked dinner - I still don't know how one person can use the grill, oven and all four hobs for a one-person meal - and then act hard done by when asked to please free up a hob so one of us could cook. She would set up cleaning rotas - in itself a good idea - which always put myself and my closest friend as being behind, as in "Tracey and X clean kitchen by Saturday, Shadow and Y clean bathroom by Thursday" (this being Thursday). She would take offence at minor things and start screaming arguments with people. It was all very irritating.

However, in the other house, our friend "Jane" was far worse. She never, ever paid her bills, so the other three were constantly chasing her for rent and utilities. She brought random men home for the night. She brought drugs into the house. She would leave the house empty without locking doors or setting the alarm. She would borrow other people's non-stick pans and then scrub them out with metal scrubs, thereby ruining them.

When it came time to renew, her housemates all went their separate ways. She asked to come in with us. We said HELL NO.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: perpetua on March 18, 2014, 03:48:09 AM
One thing "Jane" told me was that during the summer, she didn't throw food scraps/waste into the kitchen garbage, but put them in a plastic bag in the freezer, and then threw that bag out on trash day. Which, okay, a little fussy for my liking, but I could live with it.

Is it just me or... is the idea of keeping rubbish in the fridge/freezer a bit... :o :o :o? I mean, I know it's in a bag, but it's still rotting rubbish right next to your food. Perhaps not in the freezer; maybe the freezing arrests things a bit - but in the fridge as mentioned in later posts?

So I'm not sure how that was any better than leaving it in the bin, in terms of being sanitary; sounds like the roommate had some weird ideas.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: Dazi on March 18, 2014, 05:09:16 AM
One thing "Jane" told me was that during the summer, she didn't throw food scraps/waste into the kitchen garbage, but put them in a plastic bag in the freezer, and then threw that bag out on trash day. Which, okay, a little fussy for my liking, but I could live with it.

Is it just me or... is the idea of keeping rubbish in the fridge/freezer a bit... :o :o :o? I mean, I know it's in a bag, but it's still rotting rubbish right next to your food. Perhaps not in the freezer; maybe the freezing arrests things a bit - but in the fridge as mentioned in later posts?

So I'm not sure how that was any better than leaving it in the bin, in terms of being sanitary; sounds like the roommate had some weird ideas.

This probably depends on were you live, but here a lot of people I know do this, usually keeping the bag in the freezer.  It's to keep the fruit flies down.  They can seriously overrun even the most spotlessly clean house in a day or two if you throw your produce scraps directly in to the garbage...and they are a Female Dog to try and get rid of.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: perpetua on March 18, 2014, 05:14:34 AM
One thing "Jane" told me was that during the summer, she didn't throw food scraps/waste into the kitchen garbage, but put them in a plastic bag in the freezer, and then threw that bag out on trash day. Which, okay, a little fussy for my liking, but I could live with it.

Is it just me or... is the idea of keeping rubbish in the fridge/freezer a bit... :o :o :o? I mean, I know it's in a bag, but it's still rotting rubbish right next to your food. Perhaps not in the freezer; maybe the freezing arrests things a bit - but in the fridge as mentioned in later posts?

So I'm not sure how that was any better than leaving it in the bin, in terms of being sanitary; sounds like the roommate had some weird ideas.

This probably depends on were you live, but here a lot of people I know do this, usually keeping the bag in the freezer.  It's to keep the fruit flies down.  They can seriously overrun even the most spotlessly clean house in a day or two if you throw your produce scraps directly in to the garbage...and they are a Female Dog to try and get rid of.

Yeah, I can see the logic in it, but keeping rubbish next to food that you're going to eat just icks me out a bit.

We (mostly) have wheelie bins here, so you can put your rubbish in the bins outside, it doesn't have to stay in the house.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: Dazi on March 18, 2014, 05:22:33 AM
One thing "Jane" told me was that during the summer, she didn't throw food scraps/waste into the kitchen garbage, but put them in a plastic bag in the freezer, and then threw that bag out on trash day. Which, okay, a little fussy for my liking, but I could live with it.

Is it just me or... is the idea of keeping rubbish in the fridge/freezer a bit... :o :o :o? I mean, I know it's in a bag, but it's still rotting rubbish right next to your food. Perhaps not in the freezer; maybe the freezing arrests things a bit - but in the fridge as mentioned in later posts?

So I'm not sure how that was any better than leaving it in the bin, in terms of being sanitary; sounds like the roommate had some weird ideas.

This probably depends on were you live, but here a lot of people I know do this, usually keeping the bag in the freezer.  It's to keep the fruit flies down.  They can seriously overrun even the most spotlessly clean house in a day or two if you throw your produce scraps directly in to the garbage...and they are a Female Dog to try and get rid of.

Yeah, I can see the logic in it, but keeping rubbish next to food that you're going to eat just icks me out a bit.

We (mostly) have wheelie bins here, so you can put your rubbish in the bins outside, it doesn't have to stay in the house.

We have wheelie bins outside here too.  Tossing it directly outside, even in a a very tightly sealed garbage bag, just gives you a cloud of fruit flies when you go to open it later. Then you have a ton of them in your yard and they eventually make their way into the house.  Revolting annoying little critters.  It is very warm and humid here most of the year and it's just part of life.  It's just much easier to freeze scraps and chuck them in the outside bin on garbage day than to be overrun by fruit flies.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on March 18, 2014, 06:21:57 AM
This isn't about my roomie, who was a sweet girl, but about her boyfriend. Her Evil Boyfriend. But it directly related to her and our room sharing.

I was a junior, she was a sophomore. In freshman year, she had met and started seeing Evil Boyfriend. EB was very controlling - wanted her to only do stuff with him, cut out her friends, monopolized her time, interfered with her studies so her grades dropped, etc. He did a really bad number on her psychologically, and for her sanity, her parents made her break it off with him just before the school year ended. During the summer, they would not permit her to contact him and rebuffed any contact he attempted. She was actually very grateful to them, because it let her see just how bad and Evil he was. She came back and did not intend to get back together with him.

But EB had other plans. Within the first week, he was showing up at our room at all hours to beg her to take him back. Like as early as 6am, which means that it impacted me. I answered the door one day and read him the riot act over it, but it didn't stop him. We both reported him to the RAs but even they couldn't get him to leave her alone. The early morning visits continued, as EB was trying to wear her down by talking to her when she wasn't quite awake yet and very vulnerable. RA and I were trying every avenue we could to get him stopped but nothing was working. The school was turning a blind eye, so to speak, on the whole thing. We were about to get the police involved, if we could (local cops might have tried to turn it back to contacting campus police, who probably wouldn't have done anything.)

Until the day about 5 or 6 weeks into the school year that I had a premonition that morning during classes that she might just need to quit school. Then when I returned to the room that afternoon, she was gone. Her parents had finally had enough and since the school wouldn't do anything, they did. They came and yanked her out of there. I came home to her half of the room empty. EB was in for a shock the next morning  >:D

That is so sad that she had to interrupt her life and education to get away from a stalker.

That was my thought too, but I hope she was transfer to another school without too much of a disruption. 

And after reading the Jenny Trout recaps of 50SOG, I couldn't help but think that EB sounded quite a bit like Christian Grey and shake my head that some women think that's romantic. *shudder*

I can't really think of any truly awful roommate stories.  The second half of my second year in the dorms I got a girl who was truly a slob.  I'm no neatnik myself, to be honest with you, but this girl...this girl was a true slob. We had bunked our beds to give us more room and I was always having to step over all her stuff.  She'd use my cd's (which I'd okay'd, naively) but wouldn't put them back in their cases so they'd get scratched. 
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: 123sandy on March 18, 2014, 06:57:08 AM
One thing "Jane" told me was that during the summer, she didn't throw food scraps/waste into the kitchen garbage, but put them in a plastic bag in the freezer, and then threw that bag out on trash day. Which, okay, a little fussy for my liking, but I could live with it.

Is it just me or... is the idea of keeping rubbish in the fridge/freezer a bit... :o :o :o? I mean, I know it's in a bag, but it's still rotting rubbish right next to your food. Perhaps not in the freezer; maybe the freezing arrests things a bit - but in the fridge as mentioned in later posts?

So I'm not sure how that was any better than leaving it in the bin, in terms of being sanitary; sounds like the roommate had some weird ideas.

This probably depends on were you live, but here a lot of people I know do this, usually keeping the bag in the freezer.  It's to keep the fruit flies down.  They can seriously overrun even the most spotlessly clean house in a day or two if you throw your produce scraps directly in to the garbage...and they are a Female Dog to try and get rid of.

Yeah, I can see the logic in it, but keeping rubbish next to food that you're going to eat just icks me out a bit.

We (mostly) have wheelie bins here, so you can put your rubbish in the bins outside, it doesn't have to stay in the house.

We have outdoor bins too, but the food bin only gets picked up twice a month. In summer the smell from it can be horrific! I have frozen chicken/meat off cuts to try and keep the stench down.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: SadieBaby on March 18, 2014, 07:19:47 AM
One thing "Jane" told me was that during the summer, she didn't throw food scraps/waste into the kitchen garbage, but put them in a plastic bag in the freezer, and then threw that bag out on trash day. Which, okay, a little fussy for my liking, but I could live with it.

Is it just me or... is the idea of keeping rubbish in the fridge/freezer a bit... :o :o :o? I mean, I know it's in a bag, but it's still rotting rubbish right next to your food. Perhaps not in the freezer; maybe the freezing arrests things a bit - but in the fridge as mentioned in later posts?

So I'm not sure how that was any better than leaving it in the bin, in terms of being sanitary; sounds like the roommate had some weird ideas.


No bins here.  We live in the country and put out our trash in plastic bags, near the road, early on Friday mornings.  We have learned through sad experience that having aromatic food scraps in a bag can lead to animals (mostly birds) ripping open the bags and strewing garbage all over the road.  No fun picking that up!  We sometimes put the bags inside a large plastic garbage can but that is no sure deterrent either.  Some animal (we're not sure what) managed to gnaw through the heavy plastic lid and get at the food scraps!  And then we have to drag the empty can up a long steep driveway after pickup.

So we always freeze anything we think might be an issue, or refrigerate it in plastic jugs saved for the purpose.  The only problem is when we forget to take it out on garbage day and it stays in the freezer/fridge an extra week.  But I've never noticed an odor and there's nothing any more disagreeable looking than the occasional overdated items that we find in the fridge/freezer now and then!
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: perpetua on March 18, 2014, 07:39:13 AM
One thing "Jane" told me was that during the summer, she didn't throw food scraps/waste into the kitchen garbage, but put them in a plastic bag in the freezer, and then threw that bag out on trash day. Which, okay, a little fussy for my liking, but I could live with it.

Is it just me or... is the idea of keeping rubbish in the fridge/freezer a bit... :o :o :o? I mean, I know it's in a bag, but it's still rotting rubbish right next to your food. Perhaps not in the freezer; maybe the freezing arrests things a bit - but in the fridge as mentioned in later posts?

So I'm not sure how that was any better than leaving it in the bin, in terms of being sanitary; sounds like the roommate had some weird ideas.


No bins here.  We live in the country and put out our trash in plastic bags, near the road, early on Friday mornings.  We have learned through sad experience that having aromatic food scraps in a bag can lead to animals (mostly birds) ripping open the bags and strewing garbage all over the road.  No fun picking that up!  We sometimes put the bags inside a large plastic garbage can but that is no sure deterrent either.  Some animal (we're not sure what) managed to gnaw through the heavy plastic lid and get at the food scraps!  And then we have to drag the empty can up a long steep driveway after pickup.

So we always freeze anything we think might be an issue, or refrigerate it in plastic jugs saved for the purpose.  The only problem is when we forget to take it out on garbage day and it stays in the freezer/fridge an extra week.  But I've never noticed an odor and there's nothing any more disagreeable looking than the occasional overdated items that we find in the fridge/freezer now and then!

Yeah, I can totally see how that works - we have urban foxes here and they'll rip open bin bags so you can't leave bags out on the pavement on rubbish day unless they're inside the wheelie bin. But in terms of while it's still in the house - do you not have indoor bins that you put your rubbish in?

123Sandy - thankfully my local council still does weekly pickups, but I've lived in areas where it alternates. Not fun.
Perhaps one for the transatlantic board, I dunno :)
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: norrina on March 18, 2014, 08:20:25 AM
My first year of law school, I took a bedroom in a 4-bedroom house that had the bedrooms leased out individually by the landlord. When I moved in the house was composed of a 40-something government employee in 2 of the bedrooms, a 50-something nanny in one of the bedrooms, and 31-year-old me in the 4th bedroom. (The nanny and my ages will become relevant.) Aside from a couple occasions where my alcohol was "borrowed" without asking first, we got along pretty well.

Then the government employee moved out, and the landlord set about the fill the 2 bedrooms he had vacated. Since the landlord leased the bedrooms individually, the remaining housemate and I had no say in our replacement housemates. The replacements would turn out to be 2 men (friends) in their very-early-20s. One of the men had an on-again, off-again rel@tionship with his primary source of transportation, and depending on their status the rest of us got to listen to them either fight, or make up, on a regular basis. The other man had recent charges for aggregated assault and drug crimes. My spoons disappeared from the kitchen at an alarming rate.

They brought into the house a stereo system and organ, both of which they would play loudly at all hours (2 a.m. was a favorite time for tunes). Whenever the other housemate or I would ask them to turn the volume down they would argue with us that it wasn't loud and that they didn't have to listen to us, then would talk amongst themselves and their guests about how old and unreasonable we were and how we weren't their mothers.

The house was supposed to be non-smoking, and when we would smell the cigarettes wafting through the house and find them lighting up in the living room, they would inform us that since the front door was open they weren't doing anything wrong. Then more complaining among themselves about not living with their mothers.

The nanny and I ended up moving all of our kitchenware into our bedrooms, as if they were left in the kitchen for communal use they would either be misused, left dirty, or disappear. I couldn't find my Wustof paring knife one day, and after vehemently denying any knowledge of its whereabouts, it showed up in one of the boys' bedrooms, at which time their explanation was that they didn't know what a "paring knife" was so they hadn't realized they had what I was looking for. They were most upset when the $350+ knife set that had lived on the kitchen counter was removed to my locked bedroom (after several more similar instances, mind you) and they had to find their own cutting implements.

By the time the nanny and my leases had expired she was staying with friends, and I was only home to sleep.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: Harriet Jones on March 18, 2014, 08:27:00 AM

Yeah, I can totally see how that works - we have urban foxes here and they'll rip open bin bags so you can't leave bags out on the pavement on rubbish day unless they're inside the wheelie bin. But in terms of while it's still in the house - do you not have indoor bins that you put your rubbish in?

 

Again, fruit flies.  (Or other insects)



Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: Outdoor Girl on March 18, 2014, 08:30:20 AM

Yeah, I can totally see how that works - we have urban foxes here and they'll rip open bin bags so you can't leave bags out on the pavement on rubbish day unless they're inside the wheelie bin. But in terms of while it's still in the house - do you not have indoor bins that you put your rubbish in?

 

Again, fruit flies.  (Or other insects)

And smell!

A friend gave me a couple of bass one weekend.  I cleaned them, wrapped the innards up in newspaper and put it in my green bin for compostables and organic waste in my garage.  Pick up wasn't until Wednesday.  The smell was horrendous.  It was so bad, I wrote a note of apology to my garbagemen and taped it to the lid of the bin.

Now, everything goes in the freezer or the fridge until garbage day in the warmer months.  In the winter, my garage is about the temperature of my fridge so I'll put stuff in the green bin any time.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: Luci on March 18, 2014, 08:30:41 AM
One thing "Jane" told me was that during the summer, she didn't throw food scraps/waste into the kitchen garbage, but put them in a plastic bag in the freezer, and then threw that bag out on trash day. Which, okay, a little fussy for my liking, but I could live with it.

Is it just me or... is the idea of keeping rubbish in the fridge/freezer a bit... :o :o :o? I mean, I know it's in a bag, but it's still rotting rubbish right next to your food. Perhaps not in the freezer; maybe the freezing arrests things a bit - but in the fridge as mentioned in later posts?

So I'm not sure how that was any better than leaving it in the bin, in terms of being sanitary; sounds like the roommate had some weird ideas.


So we always freeze anything we think might be an issue, or refrigerate it in plastic jugs saved for the purpose.  The only problem is when we forget to take it out on garbage day and it stays in the freezer/fridge an extra week.  But I've never noticed an odor and there's nothing any more disagreeable looking than the occasional overdated items that we find in the fridge/freezer now and then!

 But in terms of while it's still in the house - do you not have indoor bins that you put your rubbish in?


It is exactly the same stuff that we just took out of the freezer or fridge, just the unedible parts. If it hasn't sat around to rot, it can't hurt anything. How can that be icky? I've been freezing our summer garbage since 1997. We don't get odors or fruit flies like we did when we kept it inside. Outside is not a option - odors still manage to escape and the insects get to it even if the stray cats or foxes don't.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: Harriet Jones on March 18, 2014, 08:36:19 AM
We also have problems with wasps in our outside garbage.  Clouds of fruit flies are disgusting, but they're not as bad as ill-tempered wasps
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: mrs_deb on March 18, 2014, 09:04:34 AM
It was more the fact that every single thing had to be done her way. That every thing I did was "wrong." Not "different," just "wrong."

I had a roommate right after college like that, too.  Nothing near as extreme, but she specifically used the word "wrong" about things I did, not "different".  I finally gave up and moved out on my own where everything I did was "right".

Funnily enough, a few years later one of our mutual friends shared with me that when I moved out, they all assumed that my "Jane" was in the right and I was the one at fault, but after seeing her go through a number of other roommates that were also "wrong" all the time, they figured maybe "Jane" was the one that was "wrong" :-).
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: z_squared82 on March 18, 2014, 09:08:12 AM
Not so much a roommate from hell but definitely a *huh* moment.

I was studying abroad, in England. The entire campus was American students, from maybe five different universities. I did not know my roommate, she went to a different school. I did not see my roommate before I went to bed the first night. When I got up for breakfast the next morning, there were *two* girls in that bed. Huh, I thought, and went down to breakfast.

I donít think I met my roommate until we had been there three days because she always went to the bar in the basement (yes, we had a bar on campus) at night, and then didnít go to breakfast.

Turns out, that was her friend who was just really homesick.

I donít think I spoke more than 20 minutes with my roommate all semester. Itís not that we didnít get along, itís just that we were both so busy doing other things.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: Diane AKA Traska on March 18, 2014, 09:27:03 AM
One thing "Jane" told me was that during the summer, she didn't throw food scraps/waste into the kitchen garbage, but put them in a plastic bag in the freezer, and then threw that bag out on trash day. Which, okay, a little fussy for my liking, but I could live with it.

Is it just me or... is the idea of keeping rubbish in the fridge/freezer a bit... :o :o :o? I mean, I know it's in a bag, but it's still rotting rubbish right next to your food. Perhaps not in the freezer; maybe the freezing arrests things a bit - but in the fridge as mentioned in later posts?

So I'm not sure how that was any better than leaving it in the bin, in terms of being sanitary; sounds like the roommate had some weird ideas.


No bins here.  We live in the country and put out our trash in plastic bags, near the road, early on Friday mornings.  We have learned through sad experience that having aromatic food scraps in a bag can lead to animals (mostly birds) ripping open the bags and strewing garbage all over the road.  No fun picking that up!  We sometimes put the bags inside a large plastic garbage can but that is no sure deterrent either.  Some animal (we're not sure what) managed to gnaw through the heavy plastic lid and get at the food scraps!  And then we have to drag the empty can up a long steep driveway after pickup.

So we always freeze anything we think might be an issue, or refrigerate it in plastic jugs saved for the purpose.  The only problem is when we forget to take it out on garbage day and it stays in the freezer/fridge an extra week.  But I've never noticed an odor and there's nothing any more disagreeable looking than the occasional overdated items that we find in the fridge/freezer now and then!

In the city here, and it's no better.  We bought two garbage cans, both were stolen within a few months.  I'm not spending $50 per can to see them walk off.  (There are cheaper cans, but the wind distributes them down the street.  These were solid, heavy cans)
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: Asharah on March 18, 2014, 09:44:02 AM
When my Dad came back from fishing trips and finished scaling and gutting the fish, he put the refuse in the garbage can outside and dumped bleach on it.
I think this is getting a little off-topic.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: SadieBaby on March 18, 2014, 10:06:06 AM

Yeah, I can totally see how that works - we have urban foxes here and they'll rip open bin bags so you can't leave bags out on the pavement on rubbish day unless they're inside the wheelie bin. But in terms of while it's still in the house - do you not have indoor bins that you put your rubbish in?

 

Again, fruit flies.  (Or other insects)

And smell!

A friend gave me a couple of bass one weekend.  I cleaned them, wrapped the innards up in newspaper and put it in my green bin for compostables and organic waste in my garage.  Pick up wasn't until Wednesday.  The smell was horrendous.  It was so bad, I wrote a note of apology to my garbagemen and taped it to the lid of the bin.

Now, everything goes in the freezer or the fridge until garbage day in the warmer months.  In the winter, my garage is about the temperature of my fridge so I'll put stuff in the green bin any time.

Yes!  All of the above!  Our indoor trash cans are for non-smelly trash only.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on March 18, 2014, 10:38:27 AM
Not roomate so much as neighbor, but my friend lives next door to a house that was divided into apartments.  A couple days...or maybe the day before, (It's been 5 years) before I was coming out to visit she started smelling something quite foul.  Turns out someone had dumped a bunch of raw meat into an open dumpster...in August.  :P :P :P

She got someone to take care of it and I wouldn't have known if she hadn't told me about it but man...that's just nasty.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: hermanne on March 18, 2014, 10:59:45 AM
Wow, the things I missed by commuting to college!
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: siamesecat2965 on March 18, 2014, 11:03:31 AM
Hmm. I forgot about this one, since I had very few roommates, both in college, and when later on. I lived with a friend one summer, at the beach, in her dad's condo. we paid him rent, but well below the going rate, since he wanted us to be safe. It was fun, we lived at the beach, waitressed, and generally had a good time.

She did have some quirks though; mind you, we never really put together a schedule of chores, but each did what needed to be done, and it worked. We worked different shifts too, so we weren't always home at the same time. But it turned out she had some very PA habits. 

And neither one of us, I thought, was a particular stickler about dishes, etc. So I'd sometimes eat breakfast, then rinse and leave my dishes in the sink, to wash or put in the DW later on. And if I happened to see any of hers there, or maybe a cup lying around, I'd either wash them all or put them ALL in the DW. Didn't matter whose they were. She all of a sudden, apparently didn't like that i left dishes in the sink, and while she'd put HERS in the DW or wash them, she'd leave mine. Which was childish and petty since she never actually SAID anything to me.

She was also a bit possessive about her "stuff" we bought our own groceries, but also some together, like milk, eggs, bread, and so on. but certain things, she bought for herself, she made a point to ask me not to eat. Um, you bought them, they're yours, so no i won't. not without asking or being offered. So while she wasn't the roommate from hell, she's someone i definitely would NOT ever live with again.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on March 18, 2014, 11:35:37 AM
LOL!!  I believe you! :)

I'll tell on my DH. He was a bad roommate in that he was a slob.  A nice guy in other ways, but a slob.  He's gotten better but he will never live down the time when he let his dishes pile up so high that his roommate put all his dirty kitchenware in a large garbage bag and dumped them on his bed while he was in the room and then she walked out.

He at least has the grace to be embarrassed about it now and has apologized to the roommate (we're still friends with her).
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: Sirius on March 18, 2014, 11:47:57 AM
Me, too.  I only had one roommate, and while we were much better friends when we didn't live together and were so until she passed away, we didn't do so well as roommates.  Most of this had to do with two issues in particular - her love life and her son. 

She brought home some of the dregs of humanity, and I was awakened more than once by enthusiastic Scrabble (I guess they were arguing over how to spell "prestidigitation", or something  ;D) (No, I'm not that naive) and the guy who was the supposed "love of her life" was a lying toad (LT).  To her credit, if I told her I had a real issue with someone she'd hear me out, except for anything involving LT.  She did tell the guy who had quite a bit to say about how ugly my dog was - my dog was a sheltie, not exactly champion quality, but we loved her - not to come back, and she did the same when I found that another had left drugs on our dining room table where her son could have gotten into them.  (Fortunately she eventually figured out for herself that LT was indeed a lying toad, and kicked him to the curb.) 

As for her son, he wasn't a bad kid, but he was rather smart-mouthed for being only 3.  However, once I'd been there awhile either he matured a little or I got used to him.  Possibly both.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: siamesecat2965 on March 18, 2014, 12:19:25 PM
I had an almost-bad roommate situation, but thankfully she let something slip before I committed, so I was able to dodge that bullet. I lived at home until my late 20's. Mainly because I didn't want to share with a whole bunch of people, and also couldn't afford to live with just one or no roommates.  So when I finally got a job that paid enough to let me move out, I started looking for people who were looking for a roommate.

My mom found this one; someone who had cats, which I'm fine with and whatever else she said, it looked promising. She had actually rented the apt, and wasn't moving in for a couple of weeks, but we met, and she showed it to me. It was in the town I worked in, and while old, and a tad small, it would have worked. It was also in the downtown area, so came wiht one parking spot. She told me the rent would be $10 a month more, if I chose to have the parking spot (she gave me the option of that, or finding parking on the street). Which was fine.

So we leave, and we're just chatting outside. She first says well, I'm at my boyfriend's every weekend, so I might ask you to feed my cats, but if you can't/don't want to, I'll get someone to  come in. Now while I'd be ok with doing it every now and again, I didn't want to be obligated to do so every weekend, nor did I want someone I DON'T know coming into my apt to do that.

I don't really recall, but I want to say she told me the rent was one amount. plus the $10 parking, if I chose that. Ok, fine. it fit my budget.

However, as we're standing outside, chatting, she let it slip that the rent was actually much less, and the reason she was asking another $90 a month, was beacuse SHE had paid a broker $1100 to find the apt for her, and wanted to get that money back.  I think I managed to keep my surprise under control, but sorry, no. You did this, and now need a roommate. That's fine, but don't try and get the other person to pay for something you chose to do.  And at $90 a month, she would have had her money back in a year, so what then? I called her the next day and politely declined. Thankfully, I wasn't in any hurry to move out, and found my OWN place a few months later.

 
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: medowynd on March 18, 2014, 12:50:48 PM
My roommate from hell started my first day of my freshman year.  Debbie was the youngest of three sisters and she was attending college in Colorado.  She was accompanied by both parents and had arrived 1-2 days before me.  When I walked in, the room was already arranged for Debbie's convenience.  Her bed was lined up under the window and my bed was shoved down the wall.  The original layout had a bed on each long wall lined up with a closet and desk.  Now my desk was across the room and my bed was just inches from the closet. 

Debbie did not like my red polka dot bedspread (dating myself here) and complained that red was against her religion, some eastern religion I had never heard of (early '70's).  The large world map I planned to hang on the wall next to my bed was unsuitable subject matter, did not know why.  She just didn't like it.  Debbie proceeded to tell me all of the rules she expected me to live under.  Not going to happen.  The bedspread stayed and the map remained on the wall.

I came down with mono, the third month of school.  My roommate informed me that I needed to go home or find somewhere else to stay, because she did not want to catch it.  I went home for a few days and returned, informing her, that I was not going anywhere.  During that quarter, Debbie had acquired a boyfriend and liked to indulge in certain activities. I didn't care what she did, but don't think you can lock me out of my room.  I always took my key with me, even to the bathroom. 

So I returned to school, very weak from mono and barely able to walk to class.  I returned one evening and the door was locked, including the second lock, that had no key.  I had the door unlocked and couldn't get in.  It was after ten, I was exhausted and could barely stand.  Debbie refused to unlock the door.  I started banging and yelling for her to unlock the door.  Finally she opens the door and the boyfriend, Chip, and Debbie were sitting there half dressed and she's yelling at me.  By this time, other girls are standing in the hall watching what was going on. 

Chip escapes and I tell Debbie, that she is never to lock me out of the room again.  She didn't.  Debbie got her revenge  I went home for Thanksgiving and when I returned, she had cleaned off my desk and thrown almost everything away.  I got mad and told her to keep her hands off of my things.  Debbie slapped my face.  I dropped my voice and told her that if she ever touched me again, I would take care of her for good.  Apparently, she finally got the message.  Debbie never touched me or my things.  The RSA was happy to help me find another room and I moved in with my best friend.  Debbie remained in the room by herself for the rest of the year and returned to Pennsylvania.  I never saw her again and that would be too soon if I ever did again.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: Luci on March 18, 2014, 02:34:22 PM
I kind of think there may something good to say about the dorms I was in during the '60s. The grandkids cringe, but a lot of the stuff above was impossible!

Women only, no men on floor except during moving in or out days, and a couple of special weekends. Roomcheck  every Sat AM - so forced to clean our rooms at least once a week! I don't remember how we were disciplined if our rooms did not pass. It wasn't too bad: just mostly no dust & junk on the floor and desks, beds made, waste paper emptied, and closet doors closed.

I didn't like dorm hours - we had to be in by 10PM and had bedcheck.

I never had roommates outside of those 3 years in the dorm. We got married when I was a junior and Lucas and I just kind of adjusted to each other's ways.

You guys have my sympathy for all the ridiculousness you went through, but it does make great reading.  :)
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: YoginiSaysYes on March 18, 2014, 03:24:34 PM
One of my roommates from eHell became my best friend starting day one of our freshman year of college. We lived on the same dorm floor, had everything under the sun in common, and decided we would live together with 2 other girls the following year. We signed the lease for the next fall in April, and by June when we went back home for the summer I knew it was NOT going to be pleasant. Let's call her Whiny.

Whiny was an only child, much doted upon by a single mother, and clearly was never taught things like "sharing" or "perspective" or "compromise". All her food was labeled in big red letters with her name, but I caught her drinking my milk more than once. Any boy who showed the slightest interest in me was subject to her overt flirting. Any invite extended to me was OBVIOUSLY meant for her as well, and if I didn't pass it along I was just a selfish horrible person. If she wanted a ride somewhere, one of the other roomies should give it to her regardless of their own schedules, because she NEEDED TO GO. The primary cause behind most of her behaviors, IMO, was her inability to look outside her own viewpoint. If she saw something a certain way that's just how it WAS and nothing you could say would change her mind.

I was spineless back then and basically put up with her "me me me me ME!!!!!!" attitude without complaint, but one of the other roomies was not so much of a pushover. Whiny insisted the two of them meet and discuss why Other Roomie was so "mean" to her and how they could "solve their issues". IE, she wanted to play the victim.

They met in OR's room, and OR left the door open, knowing I was in the living room and would be able to hear. The best exchange from their conversation was:

OR: "Whiny, the problem I have is that you refuse to take responsibility for anything. If I ask you to clean up your dishes, they aren't yours. If I ask if you left the door unlocked, it wasn't you. If I say anything to you that you can interpret as criticism you instantly deny it and say, "I don't do that!"
Whiny: "I DON'T DO THAT!"

It was priceless.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: Margo on March 18, 2014, 04:05:17 PM
I'm so glad I never had to share a bedroom! And I was mostly fairly lucky with house-shares etc.

In my first year of university I lived in Halls (Dorms) - I had my own room, but we had a shared kitchen and bathrooms.

There was one girl on our floor, who was not exactly a roommate from hell, but was quite hard work - she was an only child, and had obviously been used to being run around after.. and she took a while to adjust to having to look after herself. She would leave her dirty dishes in the sink, and get annoyed if anyone moved them but didn't wash them up for her, and would leave mess all over the kitchen counters.  I could never quite understand how she made so much mess, as her mother used to come up every weekend bringing pre-made meals, so she never did any food preparation except to defrost and reheat these.

She did, gradually, improve - she seemed to be clueless rather than anything else - and understanding that it wasn't anyone elses responsibility to pick up after her!

The following year I lived in a shared, rented house- there were 6 of us, and mostly we got on pretty well, although 'Fran' did have an annoying habit of bringing home overnight guests but then not getting up with them in the morning, so we'd find strange men (or sometimes women) wandering round the house and helping themselves to our food at breakfast time.  In the end, we had to have a chat with her and ask her not to let people wander around on their first visit to the house.

Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: rose red on March 18, 2014, 04:08:38 PM
This isn't my story, but a coworkers.  It's a case of you don't know someone until you live with them.

Coworker had a best friend all through high school; they were like sisters. They went to separate colleges, but Coworker transferred in her second year and Best Friend was so excited that they can room together.  But when the time came, Best Friend ignored Coworker for her college friends. Between HS and the first year of college, she changed to an awful person.  Many things happened, but the final straw was when Coworker went home for the weekend. Roomie invited a strange guy over, they got drunk, and one or both threw up all over Coworker's quilt handmade by her grandmother (which meant they were in her bed? >:(), and then Roomie just shrugged it off.  Coworker made other living arrangements after that.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: Marga on March 18, 2014, 05:33:11 PM
Me, too.  I only had one roommate, and while we were much better friends when we didn't live together and were so until she passed away, we didn't do so well as roommates.  Most of this had to do with two issues in particular - her love life and her son. 

She brought home some of the dregs of humanity, and I was awakened more than once by enthusiastic Scrabble (I guess they were arguing over how to spell "prestidigitation", or something  ;D) (No, I'm not that naive).

The problem with "prestidigitation" is not the spelling, but the pronounciation! ;)
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: Fliss on March 19, 2014, 02:21:58 AM
Quote

Is it just me or... is the idea of keeping rubbish in the fridge/freezer a bit... :o :o :o? I mean, I know it's in a bag, but it's still rotting rubbish right next to your food. Perhaps not in the freezer; maybe the freezing arrests things a bit - but in the fridge as mentioned in later posts?

So I'm not sure how that was any better than leaving it in the bin, in terms of being sanitary; sounds like the roommate had some weird ideas.

It's not like zombies; the food isn't decomposing, you know.

We stick regular rubbish (paper, etc) in the inside bin, but bag and freeze the "soggy", so to speak, stuff and toss it out the night we put the bins out for collection. In the Oz heat, putting soggy stuff in even the inside bin, let alone outside for a week would raise health issues. So just because it's scraps, it doesn't magically become "bad" just because you've changed its designation from food to garbage.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: athersgeo on March 19, 2014, 03:15:31 AM
First, a little explanation: The university residence where I lived for two years had the students arranged in houses of 11 or 12 people each with their own "single study bedroom". So no room mates, as such, but there could be 12 of you competing for the bathroom facilities if you all had 9am lectures. (Oddly enough, THAT was never an issue - in two years, I can't recall any arguments or problems with that side of things!)

With that said, on with the stories.

House mates from hell, part 1: The Wooden Spoon Disco
In my first year, my room was directly below the kitchen. On one Friday night fairly early on in the year a large group of my housemates went out for the night and...partied extremely hard, shall we say. I wasn't with them and, instead, turned in for the night at about 10pm. When they returned at 3am, it pleased them to go up to the kitchen and communal room - fair enough; empty all the drawers of all wooden cooking implements - regardless of who they belonged to; and then commence drumming on every hard surface available...

House mates from hell, part 2: My Keys!
Four of my housemates would go out on a Tuesday and a Thursday (cheep drinks nights) and would return (blotto) at 2am or later and bang on the door until someone let them in. When asked why they didn't take their keys, their response was "We'll lose them".

House mates from hell, part 3: My Heart Will Go On - And On - And On
One of the four keyless wonders fell in love with the Celine Dion song and played it. Repeatedly. And Loudly. And did I mention repeatedly? It was annoying at 10am. I leave you to supply a suitable adjective for what it was like at 2am... Here, though, I'll own my own irritating behaviour: I retaliated by playing variously Barbie Girl and Welcome to the Jungle, repeatedly and loudly.

House mates from hell, part 4: Reading Week Is For Mayonnaise
In my second year, my room was next door to the kitchen. I was also put with a group of nine friends who'd arranged to live together in their second year (so new bunch of house mates). It just so happened that all nine of the group, were arts students, while the three of us in-comers were either engineering or business studies. We all had reading weeks. Unfortunately, as it turned out, not at the same time. The arts departments scheduled theirs the week before the engineering department did - so the arts students opted to go out mid-week and get blotto, then returned at 2am and started a mayonnaise fight (seriously!) in the kitchen. They hadn't reckoned on an irate engineering student (me, with an 9am lecture the next day) appearing and asking them what the [non-eHell approved language] the thought they were playing at...

[To be fair, most of them apologised the next morning, when sober - which put them several yards up on the bunch I lived with in my first year!]

House mates from hell part 5: The Boyfriend Issue
This one actually started in the group of nine's first year - I just copped for the ending.

When they started uni, R was dating Bob. At some point during the year, Bob cheated on R with L, then dumped R altogether and started dating L officially.

I was introduced to Bob early on in year 2 and found him creepy, needy and generally not a good guy - and that was before I knew the backstory! All in all, then, not someone I was at all interested in. About six weeks into the year, L, Bob, C and I were watching L's TV one evening. L and C went upstairs to get something to drink, leaving me and Bob on our own. Not thirty seconds after L's departure, Bob turns to me and attempts to kiss me. I didn't actually haul off and smack him one (though I probably should have done); I just settled for shoving him off and getting the eHell out of there.

It was a day or so later that I got the whole story about Bob (and that he had previous for this sort of thing). And two or three days later, the whole house was woken in the not so small hours of the morning by Bob and L having a knock down drag out row on the landing - and, mercifully, that was the last time any of us saw Bob.

It also didn't wreck my relationship with L - it was a bit awkward for a couple of days, but the spectacular implosion of the Bob/L thing dealt with that, and we did talk about it a bit later in the year.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: perpetua on March 19, 2014, 03:40:27 AM
Quote

Is it just me or... is the idea of keeping rubbish in the fridge/freezer a bit... :o :o :o? I mean, I know it's in a bag, but it's still rotting rubbish right next to your food. Perhaps not in the freezer; maybe the freezing arrests things a bit - but in the fridge as mentioned in later posts?

So I'm not sure how that was any better than leaving it in the bin, in terms of being sanitary; sounds like the roommate had some weird ideas.

It's not like zombies; the food isn't decomposing, you know.

We stick regular rubbish (paper, etc) in the inside bin, but bag and freeze the "soggy", so to speak, stuff and toss it out the night we put the bins out for collection. In the Oz heat, putting soggy stuff in even the inside bin, let alone outside for a week would raise health issues. So just because it's scraps, it doesn't magically become "bad" just because you've changed its designation from food to garbage.

Again I suppose it depends where you live. Some councils in the UK only do non-recyclable rubbish pick up once every two weeks, it alternates. (thankfully mine collects both every week, but I have lived in places where it alternated) I wouldn't want, say, a bagged up chicken carcass or vegetable refuge in my fridge for two weeks next to food I was going to eat, that would eek me out. One of the reasons I have a bin in the first place is so I can take food that's going bad out of the fridge, so I'm not going to deliberately put it back in there :)
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: Cherry91 on March 19, 2014, 05:34:12 AM
The worst housemate I ever had was a jerk of infinite levels. I'll spare you all the gory details and give you the two worst incidents:

1. He didn't like that on occasion I accidentally dropped the paper from one of my toiletries in the bathroom. This was paper. Just paper. Usually it was because I was getting ready for class and not totally awake yet, and if I found one when I got home I threw it away right away. Apparently this infuriated him, but instead of actually talking to me about it...

He took a condom, filled it with mayonnaise to make it appear "used" and left it in the bathroom for me to find. On the day that he knew the landlord was coming for an inspection. I didn't realise it was there until after they'd been in the bathroom. The other housemates and I forced him to contact the landlord and explain it was a stupid prank.

2. He was the only housemate I knew before we all moved in together, but after we did, I really hit it off with two of the other housemates, who were a couple. However, the first time we met to see if we'd all be okay with living together, the couple had seemed super wary and closed off towards me. When I finally asked them about it, it turns out jerk roommate had told them I was a total psychopath who no one liked, and that's why he was being suuuuch a good person by trying to help me out... It never occurred to him that we'd actually talk to each other and realise he had a habit of talking about us behind our backs to the other members of the house...
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: Harriet Jones on March 19, 2014, 06:05:22 AM
Quote

Is it just me or... is the idea of keeping rubbish in the fridge/freezer a bit... :o :o :o? I mean, I know it's in a bag, but it's still rotting rubbish right next to your food. Perhaps not in the freezer; maybe the freezing arrests things a bit - but in the fridge as mentioned in later posts?

So I'm not sure how that was any better than leaving it in the bin, in terms of being sanitary; sounds like the roommate had some weird ideas.

It's not like zombies; the food isn't decomposing, you know.

We stick regular rubbish (paper, etc) in the inside bin, but bag and freeze the "soggy", so to speak, stuff and toss it out the night we put the bins out for collection. In the Oz heat, putting soggy stuff in even the inside bin, let alone outside for a week would raise health issues. So just because it's scraps, it doesn't magically become "bad" just because you've changed its designation from food to garbage.

Again I suppose it depends where you live. Some councils in the UK only do non-recyclable rubbish pick up once every two weeks, it alternates. (thankfully mine collects both every week, but I have lived in places where it alternated) I wouldn't want, say, a bagged up chicken carcass or vegetable refuge in my fridge for two weeks next to food I was going to eat, that would eek me out. One of the reasons I have a bin in the first place is so I can take food that's going bad out of the fridge, so I'm not going to deliberately put it back in there :)

Freezer, not refrigerator
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: perpetua on March 19, 2014, 06:13:26 AM
Quote

Is it just me or... is the idea of keeping rubbish in the fridge/freezer a bit... :o :o :o? I mean, I know it's in a bag, but it's still rotting rubbish right next to your food. Perhaps not in the freezer; maybe the freezing arrests things a bit - but in the fridge as mentioned in later posts?

So I'm not sure how that was any better than leaving it in the bin, in terms of being sanitary; sounds like the roommate had some weird ideas.

It's not like zombies; the food isn't decomposing, you know.

We stick regular rubbish (paper, etc) in the inside bin, but bag and freeze the "soggy", so to speak, stuff and toss it out the night we put the bins out for collection. In the Oz heat, putting soggy stuff in even the inside bin, let alone outside for a week would raise health issues. So just because it's scraps, it doesn't magically become "bad" just because you've changed its designation from food to garbage.

Again I suppose it depends where you live. Some councils in the UK only do non-recyclable rubbish pick up once every two weeks, it alternates. (thankfully mine collects both every week, but I have lived in places where it alternated) I wouldn't want, say, a bagged up chicken carcass or vegetable refuge in my fridge for two weeks next to food I was going to eat, that would eek me out. One of the reasons I have a bin in the first place is so I can take food that's going bad out of the fridge, so I'm not going to deliberately put it back in there :)

Freezer, not refrigerator

I was actually referring to posts in the subsequent discussion, where a couple of posters said they keep their rubbish in the fridge, reply #30 for example.  My fault for quoting only the original post, but the quote tree was long so I snipped it :)

Even in the freezer though, it's still a place you keep food you're going to eat, as such I wouldn't want rubbish in there. So yes, to keep it on topic, if a flatmate insisted I do that or did that herself in a place I lived, I'd be looking for a new flatmate.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: shadowfox79 on March 19, 2014, 06:17:34 AM
Oh yes, I forgot the ones from living in student hall...

I was in hall for 3 years. The first 2 were OK. The third year my friends and I were stuck on the same floor as the loudest group of girls in the history of the world.

They would put music on full blast in one of their bedrooms, jam the door open, and sit in the kitchen to listen to it.

They would run around until 4AM every night screaming. Literally. And bang on every door they passed.

We eventually locked horns with them by complaining to the warden. He sent round letters, which they pasted up on the kitchen wall and then ignored. We complained again. He did the same, so did they. We complained a third time. They were fined a small amount, which led them to start hurling abuse at us in the dining room.

Two nights after the fine, they went to the hall Christmas ball (we didn't bother), got in at 2am and started banging on pans shouting "Wake them up, wake them up!" Before we had time to complain, a letter appeared under our doors the following day calling a meeting with the warden. This led to a barrage of abuse again, as they thought we had complained about them - much to our bemusement, as we hadn't, so we went to see the warden to find out what it was about.

Which meant we were up to speed when, in the meeting, he informed them that one of them had pulled down the kitchen curtains and they were all going to be paying for it.

To give credit where it was due, one girl immediately stepped up and took the blame, so she was the only one charged. They apparently had a discussion after the meeting, because before we had even got back to our rooms they collared us in the corridor and apologised.

After that we had a lot less bother with them, although I was still glad to get out of there at the end of the year.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: oz diva on March 19, 2014, 06:34:16 AM
One housemate was a slob. He used to wash his sheets every 6 months whether they needed it or not.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: MissRose on March 19, 2014, 06:54:11 AM
I shared a dorm room with one girl for a few months before she got her own room down the hall because she could not get along with the girls we shared an adjoining bathroom/shower with when I was finishing my last year of uni.  She was nice to me but we were opposites in many ways.   I know I am messy at times but she made me look like I was a neat freak.  She skipped classes part of the time and slept in instead. I know she was not too happy to share a room with someone who had 8am classes 4 or 5 days a week then worked on the weekends.  When she moved, she left her mess behind.  Good thing one of the frats on campus had a fundraiser to clean dorms for a charitable cause not long after that so I made a donation & watched 3 or 4 college guys clean up what was left behind.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: VorFemme on March 19, 2014, 07:55:35 AM
Quote

Is it just me or... is the idea of keeping rubbish in the fridge/freezer a bit... :o :o :o? I mean, I know it's in a bag, but it's still rotting rubbish right next to your food. Perhaps not in the freezer; maybe the freezing arrests things a bit - but in the fridge as mentioned in later posts?

So I'm not sure how that was any better than leaving it in the bin, in terms of being sanitary; sounds like the roommate had some weird ideas.

It's not like zombies; the food isn't decomposing, you know.

We stick regular rubbish (paper, etc) in the inside bin, but bag and freeze the "soggy", so to speak, stuff and toss it out the night we put the bins out for collection. In the Oz heat, putting soggy stuff in even the inside bin, let alone outside for a week would raise health issues. So just because it's scraps, it doesn't magically become "bad" just because you've changed its designation from food to garbage.

Again I suppose it depends where you live. Some councils in the UK only do non-recyclable rubbish pick up once every two weeks, it alternates. (thankfully mine collects both every week, but I have lived in places where it alternated) I wouldn't want, say, a bagged up chicken carcass or vegetable refuge in my fridge for two weeks next to food I was going to eat, that would eek me out. One of the reasons I have a bin in the first place is so I can take food that's going bad out of the fridge, so I'm not going to deliberately put it back in there :)

Freezer, not refrigerator

I was actually referring to posts in the subsequent discussion, where a couple of posters said they keep their rubbish in the fridge, reply #30 for example.  My fault for quoting only the original post, but the quote tree was long so I snipped it :)

Even in the freezer though, it's still a place you keep food you're going to eat, as such I wouldn't want rubbish in there. So yes, to keep it on topic, if a flatmate insisted I do that or did that herself in a place I lived, I'd be looking for a new flatmate.

A century or more ago, those same animal & vegetable trimmings would probably have been thrown in a soup kettle on the back of the stove.  Bones & gristle might have been skimmed out, strained out, or otherwise removed after they'd been simmered a while....but the soup would not spoil as long as it was kept simmering over low heat (and water added as needed). 
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: RegionMom on March 19, 2014, 08:17:27 AM
 minor stories-

sharing a bathroom with 4 total girls-

three of us began to carry our own toilet paper in our bags to the in-suite restroom, because roommate 4 seemed to be using a roll a DAY.  Seriously.  Yet she never bought any.  After a week or so, she went out and bought some to share, as had been our agreement.  In the interim, she had been taking toilet paper from the classroom bathrooms. 

For a while one year, we had a clogged toilet issue.  Thought it was just an old toilet, and then some how I noticed one girl was tossing cotton balls into the toilet after using them for make-up removal/application.

"They dissolve!"  she insisted.

So, I set up a science experiment.  I placed a couple of cotton balls into a glass and let it set out for a few days.  Proved that cotton is not paper, and although she got annoyed at me for proving her wrong, we had a working toilet again!  :)

Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: z_squared82 on March 19, 2014, 08:23:45 AM
Oh, thought of another.

Not someone I lived with, but a couple of acquaintances of mine who were friend decided to live together when one of them got back from studying abroad. I feel fairly confident that they were only supposed to live together for a semester.

Well, the girls who hadnít been studying abroad, we called her Crazy Carrie for a reason. Itís because she was crazy. But at this point, she hadnít been put on medication yet.

Well, Study Abroad Girl comes into their room, first day of move in, with some of her things, expecting a warm welcome. I donít know what Crazy Carrie had been doing, but she came at SAG with a box cutter and told her to get the h3ll out of her room. SAG, of course, left and told someone with authority.

They both ended up with singles in one of the most desirable dorms, the dorms that donít allow singles so many people want to live there.

I'm sure there's more to the story, but I was trying to not interact with Crazy Carrie.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: Dindrane on March 19, 2014, 08:29:15 AM
My freshman year roommate acquired a boyfriend pretty early on in the school year, who then proceeded to be in our room all. the. time. I think sometimes even when my roommate wasn't there (though I've rather blocked a lot of it out). He lived down the hall from us, and on a personal level, he grated on my very last nerve. I also found him rather creepy, as he was in his early 20s and started dating my not-yet-18 roommate within a few weeks of moving in.

Midway through the year, my roommate decided she was ready to commence a more intimate relationship with said boyfriend, so a lot of that time in our room started being time when I wasn't welcome. I could pretty much guarantee that if I left for a couple of hours at a time, at any time, I'd come back to a locked door and a note on the whiteboard we kept outside it to knock first. Which meant that I either did in fact knock and then wait outside my own room while they scrambled into clothing (can we say awkward!), or took the hint and just didn't attempt to get into my own room.

I, rather unfortunately, responded to this annoyance by complaining a whole lot about being locked out of my room to everyone else I knew on that floor, which was probably pretty awkward of me.

This was also about the time when the boyfriend's roommate got fed up with stuff like the above happening, and banned my roommate from his room. I was really mad that I hadn't thought of doing that first (and wouldn't have had the spine to stick with it if I had), because it meant that the boyfriend spent even more time in our room. He also started spending the night. My roommate's bed was lofted perpendicularly over mine, and though I never had any desire to obtain conclusive proof, I'm fairly certain they weren't bothered by engaging in certain activities directly over my head when they thought I was asleep.

I tried to respond in a more mature way to this new frustration, so I suggested that we implement a rule that all non-roommates had to vacate the room when one of us decided it was time to go to sleep. That included friends and study groups and what have you for both of us as well as the boyfriend, and I still think it was a perfectly reasonable and fair rule since it was sort of a blanket one. There were plenty of common areas where people could hang out in our dorm, one of which was literally 3 feet from our door.

But, since none of those common areas were conducive to intimate activities, my roommate apparently decided the rule didn't really apply. I say apparently because she never actually talked to me about it, she just decided that she'd have her boyfriend sneak into our room after she thought I was asleep. Which I know about because I don't always fall asleep right away, and because my bed was right next to the door.

We didn't normally keep our door locked (as was pretty common in our dorm, though probably not terribly intelligent), so my response was to just "accidentally" lock the door when I went to bed. It wasn't a great response, because it still didn't result in any actual discussions about how to resolve this issue, nor did it stop the behavior. But I guess at least it forced the boyfriend to knock and my roommate to get out of bed to let him in.

I was far from a perfect roommate (we were both freshmen living on our own for the first time, after all), but it still kind of infuriates me over a decade later how cavalier my roommate was about my personal space and my privacy, as though they were somehow less important than her desire to spend time (intimate and otherwise) with her boyfriend. I really wish I'd been able to articulate that better at the time, and had known better how to be politely assertive instead of becoming incredibly passive-aggressive.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: Teenyweeny on March 19, 2014, 09:04:36 AM
On the loo roll issue:

My SO and I lived with three guys, second year of uni.

Now, we didn't mind buying MOST of the loo roll. After all, there's two of us, and we both have anatomy that means we need to use more. Fine.

After we started to notice that we were buying ALL of the loo roll, we took to keeping a stash in our room, and not leaving any in the loo. About 5 days in, we were sitting in our room when we heard the unmistakable sound of somebody going into the loo. They were in there long enough that they definitely needed loo roll. What would they do?

About 30 seconds after the flush, we heard the shower running. Ha! There was loo roll after that.

The kicker? We lived literally across the road from a 24-hour shop.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: Vall on March 19, 2014, 10:02:25 AM
In my early 20's, I worked as a waitress.  I decided to move in with a co-worker as roommates.  He was very nice, neat and easygoing.  He was also shy and timid.  We split the rent and utilities and I bought all of the food and whatever we needed.  I also gave him rides to work so he didn't have to spend the money for gas.  I didn't mind since I earned  a lot more money than him and I liked helping out.  He was always grateful for all of the "extras" and we got along great.

I didn't know that the lease was in his step-father's name.  Roommate had been paying his step-father rather than the landlord.  I didn't like his step-father.  He was always bragging about scamming money from people and doing violent things.  One day, roommate apologetically told me that we needed to move out in two days.  His step-father didn't want to be on the lease anymore.  Step-father had found a room for rent for him but I didn't have the money to find and rent a place with only two day's notice.  Besides, I had just paid for the next month's rent and utilities (and I always paid two weeks early).  I left for a few hours to try to find somewhere to live.

When I came back, everything had been hastily moved out of the house.  The step-father had come in and threw everything in bags and hauled it out of there.  I had nothing.  No kitchen wares, no bedding, no clothes, shoes, work uniforms, and he had even taken my much-needed medication.  My pictures and important papers like my birth certificate were gone.  All I had were the clothes on my back, my purse and my car outside.

My closest relative was 600 miles away.  I didn't know what to do.  The police wouldn't help me.  The step-father left a note that I'd have to pay him $150 for "storage" to get my things (he put them in his barn).  He knew that I'd have to borrow the money because I needed my uniforms for work and my medication right away.  Since I had to borrow to pay step-father immediately, I had to live in my car until I had enough money to rent a place.

My roommate apologized many times over for what his step-father did but he wasn't capable of standing up to him.  He was afraid of him.  Roommate simply didn't have the money to pay me back.  I learned to always get a lease in my name and to keep my receipts.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on March 19, 2014, 10:18:24 AM
Not my own issue but I was subjected to hear it because I worked with the two people involved and we'd carpool. 

For this story we have Pete, Laura and myself.  Pete, Pete2 (his best friend from home), and Laura lived together. Laura was Pete2's fiance.  At the time, Laura didn't drive but Pete and I did and we'd take turns driving onto campus for the job we did together.  Because of this, Pete did not charge me for gas money when he drove.  Now, I didn't ask Laura for gas money because I figured I was picking her up at the same place as Pete, it didn't really make any sense since it wasn't like I was making an extra stop to pick her up. Besides, their house was on my way to the campus.

However I had to endure countless arguments between Pete and Laura as to why she owed him gas money, such as wear and tear on the vehicle, extra weight in the car, etc.

Truth was he just couldn't stand her (if you ask me it was cause they were just too much alike) and there were many, many other issues.  House messy? All Laura's fault and he only should have to be responsible for his own room. Nevermind that when he and Pete 2 weren't working or in class, they were sitting on their butts doing exactly squat.  ::)
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: Luci on March 19, 2014, 10:26:31 AM
In my early 20's, I worked as a waitress.  I decided to move in with a co-worker as roommates.  He was very nice, neat and easygoing.  He was also shy and timid.  We split the rent and utilities and I bought all of the food and whatever we needed.  I also gave him rides to work so he didn't have to spend the money for gas.  I didn't mind since I earned  a lot more money than him and I liked helping out.  He was always grateful for all of the "extras" and we got along great.

I didn't know that the lease was in his step-father's name.  Roommate had been paying his step-father rather than the landlord.  I didn't like his step-father.  He was always bragging about scamming money from people and doing violent things.  One day, roommate apologetically told me that we needed to move out in two days.  His step-father didn't want to be on the lease anymore.  Step-father had found a room for rent for him but I didn't have the money to find and rent a place with only two day's notice.  Besides, I had just paid for the next month's rent and utilities (and I always paid two weeks early).  I left for a few hours to try to find somewhere to live.

When I came back, everything had been hastily moved out of the house.  The step-father had come in and threw everything in bags and hauled it out of there.  I had nothing.  No kitchen wares, no bedding, no clothes, shoes, work uniforms, and he had even taken my much-needed medication.  My pictures and important papers like my birth certificate were gone.  All I had were the clothes on my back, my purse and my car outside.

My closest relative was 600 miles away.  I didn't know what to do.  The police wouldn't help me.  The step-father left a note that I'd have to pay him $150 for "storage" to get my things (he put them in his barn).  He knew that I'd have to borrow the money because I needed my uniforms for work and my medication right away.  Since I had to borrow to pay step-father immediately, I had to live in my car until I had enough money to rent a place.

My roommate apologized many times over for what his step-father did but he wasn't capable of standing up to him.  He was afraid of him.  Roommate simply didn't have the money to pay me back.  I learned to always get a lease in my name and to keep my receipts.

This is the saddest story I have read in this thread. I am so sorry, and I commend you on pulling out of this and keeping strong. Your whole life disrupted. I can't imagine how I would react.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: Delete My Account on March 19, 2014, 11:32:25 AM
In my early 20's, I worked as a waitress.  I decided to move in with a co-worker as roommates.  He was very nice, neat and easygoing.  He was also shy and timid.  We split the rent and utilities and I bought all of the food and whatever we needed.  I also gave him rides to work so he didn't have to spend the money for gas.  I didn't mind since I earned  a lot more money than him and I liked helping out.  He was always grateful for all of the "extras" and we got along great.

I didn't know that the lease was in his step-father's name.  Roommate had been paying his step-father rather than the landlord.  I didn't like his step-father.  He was always bragging about scamming money from people and doing violent things.  One day, roommate apologetically told me that we needed to move out in two days.  His step-father didn't want to be on the lease anymore.  Step-father had found a room for rent for him but I didn't have the money to find and rent a place with only two day's notice.  Besides, I had just paid for the next month's rent and utilities (and I always paid two weeks early).  I left for a few hours to try to find somewhere to live.

When I came back, everything had been hastily moved out of the house.  The step-father had come in and threw everything in bags and hauled it out of there.  I had nothing.  No kitchen wares, no bedding, no clothes, shoes, work uniforms, and he had even taken my much-needed medication.  My pictures and important papers like my birth certificate were gone.  All I had were the clothes on my back, my purse and my car outside.

My closest relative was 600 miles away.  I didn't know what to do.  The police wouldn't help me.  The step-father left a note that I'd have to pay him $150 for "storage" to get my things (he put them in his barn).  He knew that I'd have to borrow the money because I needed my uniforms for work and my medication right away.  Since I had to borrow to pay step-father immediately, I had to live in my car until I had enough money to rent a place.

My roommate apologized many times over for what his step-father did but he wasn't capable of standing up to him.  He was afraid of him.  Roommate simply didn't have the money to pay me back.  I learned to always get a lease in my name and to keep my receipts.

This is the saddest story I have read in this thread. I am so sorry, and I commend you on pulling out of this and keeping strong. Your whole life disrupted. I can't imagine how I would react.

I second that. This is far from a standard bad roommate story.  :(
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: Vall on March 19, 2014, 11:58:01 AM
In my early 20's, I worked as a waitress.  I decided to move in with a co-worker as roommates.  He was very nice, neat and easygoing.  He was also shy and timid.  We split the rent and utilities and I bought all of the food and whatever we needed.  I also gave him rides to work so he didn't have to spend the money for gas.  I didn't mind since I earned  a lot more money than him and I liked helping out.  He was always grateful for all of the "extras" and we got along great.

I didn't know that the lease was in his step-father's name.  Roommate had been paying his step-father rather than the landlord.  I didn't like his step-father.  He was always bragging about scamming money from people and doing violent things.  One day, roommate apologetically told me that we needed to move out in two days.  His step-father didn't want to be on the lease anymore.  Step-father had found a room for rent for him but I didn't have the money to find and rent a place with only two day's notice.  Besides, I had just paid for the next month's rent and utilities (and I always paid two weeks early).  I left for a few hours to try to find somewhere to live.

When I came back, everything had been hastily moved out of the house.  The step-father had come in and threw everything in bags and hauled it out of there.  I had nothing.  No kitchen wares, no bedding, no clothes, shoes, work uniforms, and he had even taken my much-needed medication.  My pictures and important papers like my birth certificate were gone.  All I had were the clothes on my back, my purse and my car outside.

My closest relative was 600 miles away.  I didn't know what to do.  The police wouldn't help me.  The step-father left a note that I'd have to pay him $150 for "storage" to get my things (he put them in his barn).  He knew that I'd have to borrow the money because I needed my uniforms for work and my medication right away.  Since I had to borrow to pay step-father immediately, I had to live in my car until I had enough money to rent a place.

My roommate apologized many times over for what his step-father did but he wasn't capable of standing up to him.  He was afraid of him.  Roommate simply didn't have the money to pay me back.  I learned to always get a lease in my name and to keep my receipts.

This is the saddest story I have read in this thread. I am so sorry, and I commend you on pulling out of this and keeping strong. Your whole life disrupted. I can't imagine how I would react.

I second that. This is far from a standard bad roommate story.  :(
Oh, it could've been much worse.  At least I had a car and a job that paid tips daily.  And I knew of a truck stop that rented showers.  I was a very good waitress so it didn't take long for me to scrape together enough to rent a room.

Of course I cried at first (confusion, fear, frustration, anger) but I didn't dwell on it.  Like most people, I just did what had to be done.  I'd love to say that step-father got his comeuppance but that never happened to my knowledge.  Some people are just like that.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: ladyknight1 on March 19, 2014, 12:35:40 PM
The only days we don't have garbage pickup are on the weekend, so our garbage goes out every night (if it is full).
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: PastryGoddess on March 19, 2014, 03:29:00 PM
Can the garbage stories move to another thread?
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: BabyMama on March 20, 2014, 08:55:59 AM
First roommate in college didn't believe in showering. Well, she did it, but it was every few days, and she had a very pungent body odor. She also didn't wash her sheets the entire semester I lived with her. One weekend she went home to see her boyfriend and asked if she could borrow one of my shirts. I said OK. She left on Thursday and came back Monday, and bragged she hadn't bathed all weekend. (She's gotten...a special haircut or makeup or something on Thursday and didn't want to wash it out.) She gave me back the (unwashed) shirt. I eventually threw it out because I couldn't get the smell of her body odor and weed out, even after multiple washings.

After I moved out, her housekeeping got worse. I had brought the refrigerator, and took it with me when I moved (although it was just a few dorm rooms down and I offered the fridge's use to her.) She would order pizza and then just store it in the box at room temp until she finished it, whether it was later that day or several days later.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: bloo on March 20, 2014, 09:07:51 AM
In my early 20's, I worked as a waitress.  I decided to move in with a co-worker as roommates.  He was very nice, neat and easygoing.  He was also shy and timid.  We split the rent and utilities and I bought all of the food and whatever we needed.  I also gave him rides to work so he didn't have to spend the money for gas.  I didn't mind since I earned  a lot more money than him and I liked helping out.  He was always grateful for all of the "extras" and we got along great.

I didn't know that the lease was in his step-father's name.  Roommate had been paying his step-father rather than the landlord.  I didn't like his step-father.  He was always bragging about scamming money from people and doing violent things.  One day, roommate apologetically told me that we needed to move out in two days.  His step-father didn't want to be on the lease anymore.  Step-father had found a room for rent for him but I didn't have the money to find and rent a place with only two day's notice.  Besides, I had just paid for the next month's rent and utilities (and I always paid two weeks early).  I left for a few hours to try to find somewhere to live.

When I came back, everything had been hastily moved out of the house.  The step-father had come in and threw everything in bags and hauled it out of there.  I had nothing.  No kitchen wares, no bedding, no clothes, shoes, work uniforms, and he had even taken my much-needed medication.  My pictures and important papers like my birth certificate were gone.  All I had were the clothes on my back, my purse and my car outside.

My closest relative was 600 miles away.  I didn't know what to do.  The police wouldn't help me.  The step-father left a note that I'd have to pay him $150 for "storage" to get my things (he put them in his barn).  He knew that I'd have to borrow the money because I needed my uniforms for work and my medication right away.  Since I had to borrow to pay step-father immediately, I had to live in my car until I had enough money to rent a place.

My roommate apologized many times over for what his step-father did but he wasn't capable of standing up to him.  He was afraid of him.  Roommate simply didn't have the money to pay me back.  I learned to always get a lease in my name and to keep my receipts.

This is the saddest story I have read in this thread. I am so sorry, and I commend you on pulling out of this and keeping strong. Your whole life disrupted. I can't imagine how I would react.

I second that. This is far from a standard bad roommate story.  :(
Oh, it could've been much worse.  At least I had a car and a job that paid tips daily.  And I knew of a truck stop that rented showers.  I was a very good waitress so it didn't take long for me to scrape together enough to rent a room.

Of course I cried at first (confusion, fear, frustration, anger) but I didn't dwell on it.  Like most people, I just did what had to be done.  I'd love to say that step-father got his comeuppance but that never happened to my knowledge.  Some people are just like that.

I love your attitude and how you bounced back, but I wanted to echo the other posters that this is the saddest thing I've read on this thread. His step-dad is evil. You learned a hard lesson. My DS is 18 and one of his options that he's considering is moving in with one of his good friends next year. I've had many discussions about the benefits and pitfalls of having a roommate. This thread has given me excellent topics to discuss with both of my kids.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: Sirius on March 20, 2014, 11:23:57 AM
My former roomie, the one with the little boy and the boyfriend who was the lying toad, also went through being tossed out with only the clothes she stood in - by the lying toad, who "graciously" gave her back a cut glass bowl that had belonged to her grandmother and a picture of her grandfather.  That right there was one (big) reason why I thought she was crazy for still considering him the love of her life.  (No one was more thrilled than me when she discovered how much of a liar he really was and kicked him out of her life.)

My grandfather was also kicked out of his wife's house after her death by her heirs.  In his case, he was 87 years old, and he was left with his clothes, his car, and his poodle.  My aunt who lived nearby took him in.  I was told that the heirs wouldn't even let him take his electric razor since he couldn't prove that it was his.  His wife had been a lovely person (he had remarried after my grandmother's death) but even her other family members who lived nearby thought the heirs had been rather high-handed in their dealings with Grandpa.  After he moved in with my aunt his wife's grandson and the grandson's children would come over a couple of times a week and take Grandpa to appointments, out to lunch, etc. When Grandpa died the grandson spoke at the funeral about how my grandpa was the only grandfather his children had ever known, and he wished that all children had a grandfather like him. 

That's straying from the subject of the thread, so I'll stop now.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on March 20, 2014, 11:26:04 AM
I remember the boyfriend of Dh's roommate once made "special" brownies in their kitchen.  The smell of the boiling mj was terrible  enough that I didn't even want to try the brownies!
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: Delete My Account on March 20, 2014, 11:29:42 AM
My grandfather was also kicked out of his wife's house after her death by her heirs.  In his case, he was 87 years old, and he was left with his clothes, his car, and his poodle. 

Whaaaat? That's just cruel.  :(
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: Asharah on March 20, 2014, 12:15:40 PM
My grandfather was also kicked out of his wife's house after her death by her heirs.  In his case, he was 87 years old, and he was left with his clothes, his car, and his poodle. 

Whaaaat? That's just cruel.  :(
At least they didn't steal the poodle.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: siamesecat2965 on March 20, 2014, 12:33:29 PM
My grandfather was also kicked out of his wife's house after her death by her heirs.  In his case, he was 87 years old, and he was left with his clothes, his car, and his poodle. 

Whaaaat? That's just cruel.  :(

This sounds a lot like the woman a very good friend of the family met and married after his wife died. He had been the principle of the HS where my mom attended, and my grandparents rented out the second floor of his huge house, which had been converted to an apt. His wife died, and he embarked on this trip across the country, as he knew a lot of people in a lot of places. Either on this trip, or shortly after he got back, he married a woman, much much younger than him, and of a different race. Which didn't bother us, but sure bothered a lot of other folks. And she was quite manipulative. Our theory was she thought he had a lot of $$, and married him just for that, but in reality, he was poor as a churchmouse.

My grandmother eventually ended up moving to a new place, as he was as old as she, and figured once he was gone, the wife would kick her out too. He ended up living in the basement of this house, and having little to no contact with her. We think once she realized he didn't have much, she wanted nothing to do with him.  And after he passed away, she got the house.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: Wulfie on March 21, 2014, 02:49:57 PM

My grandfather was also kicked out of his wife's house after her death by her heirs.  . 

That reminds me of my poor aunt. Auntie is one of the most caring women you will ever meet.  She married LowLife (LL) for some reason that none of us can understand.  He verbally abused her and in general made her life difficult.  She is in another state so I just know what family gossip says about him. 

She did leave him about 3 years ago and moved in with my mom in another state. She stayed with mom for about 5-6 months until LL contacted her to let her know he was dying and that it was her duty to come back home and take care of him.  Auntie did just that. 

She stayed with him until last summer when he passed away. She did not even leave for a couple of days to come to any of her brotherís funerals. We lost 3 of my uncles and my granddad in a 2 year period. My mom was adopted by her older brother (my grandpa) and Auntie was nearly adopted by him also.  Grandpa was very much like a father to her so this was a HUGE deal to everyone even her. But LL made it clear that if she left she didnít need to bother coming back. 
 
When LL passed on, Auntie found out that while she had been living with my mom, LL changed his will giving everything to his kids and signed their house over to one of them. She had 3 days to move out of the house and find somewhere else to live. The kids took everything out of the house that she could not prove was hers including the beds, all the light bulbs, the carpets, EVERYTHING not nailed down and even some stuff that was nailed down!

She contested the will and the signing over of the house, she did not sign anything giving up her rights in the house, but they claim that he didnít know where she was and published a notice in all the local papers. Until the court case is heard, she is permitted to stay in the house.  She has to be careful about even going out. They have made it clear that if they drive by and see her away from the house, they will file for abandonment of the house and try to take it before the court date which is still almost 2 years away due to all the delays they keep filing.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on March 21, 2014, 03:31:30 PM
That's awful! :( Your poor aunt! That just isn't right and I hope she wins before too long. That would drive me crazy to be basically a prisoner in my own home! :(

Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: lady_disdain on March 21, 2014, 03:47:43 PM
That is terrible. I hope she has a good lawyer. It sounds hard to get the "we didn't know where she was" to stick when he was able to call her for help and when she stayed right there, probably with plenty of witnesses. A good lawyer will also be able to tell her exactly what abandonment of the property means, since I doubt it means she can never leave the house.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: Tosca on March 21, 2014, 11:46:07 PM
Not me, but my daughter.  Two major sins by her first housemate...

1.  She left raw meat in the fridge for so long that it went bad.  So bad that the smell was leaking out of the fridge and fouling the entire kitchen.  The whole time she was eating food out of that fridge.  Fortunately my daughter had her own fridge.

2.  The used condom in the middle of the kitchen floor.  Enough said.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: Sirius on March 22, 2014, 12:46:11 AM
My grandfather was also kicked out of his wife's house after her death by her heirs.  In his case, he was 87 years old, and he was left with his clothes, his car, and his poodle. 

Whaaaat? That's just cruel.  :(
At least they didn't steal the poodle.

The poodle was 14, and they probably didn't want to be bothered with finding a home for her.  Grandpa liked the poodle, so he didn't mind keeping her even though she'd belonged to his wife.  It was one of those situations where Wife's heirs weren't thrilled about her remarrying because they didn't want her property to leave the family (sounds like a lot of people I've known), so in order to shut them up she kept her property separate from Grandpa's.  Some of it I could understand, but not allowing Grandpa to take his electric razor?  That to me is just greed.  What were they going to do with a used electric razor?

Sorry to derail.  I haven't had a lot of roommates so I don't have a lot of horror stories.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: rain on April 01, 2014, 08:50:27 PM
my sister had a roommate in college who would take her stuff (including underwear) then say things like "oh I didn't know this was yours, I thought it was mine"
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: Allyson on April 01, 2014, 10:04:33 PM
I lived in a shared house with some people I knew more than others for a few years, before I left to travel. The week before I moved out, I'd bagged a lot of my old clothes that I didn't need anymore, ready to take it to a thrift store. I came home from work to find my old clothes all hanging around the entire apartment. My roommate had gone through the bag and washed it all, then hung it up to dry. When I asked him why he said he didn't like the thrift store I was going to give it to, and he wanted to give it to Specific Charity instead. he also stole/gave away a bunch of my stuff, including a jar full of change I'd been saving for years, and a hardcover book I'd  borrowed from a friend.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: Giraffe, Esq on April 02, 2014, 04:26:15 PM
When I was working in France, I shared an apartment with another language assistant from Colombia.  We had a land line in the apartment, but I never used it because I got a cell phone.  So if that phone rang, it was for her.  Always.

Her boyfriend couldn't ever figure out the time difference between Colombia and France, so we would get phone calls at 2 in the morning all the time.  Of course, she slept right through them.  With no answering machine, the phone would keep ringing...and ringing...and ringing...  Finally, after 10-14 rings, when they clearly weren't giving up and I couldn't get back to sleep, I'd go wake her up.

Every time she was surprised it was for her.  <roll eyes>
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: wheeitsme on April 02, 2014, 05:40:44 PM
I worked at a US National Park for several years.  In the first year I had a roommate in a tent cablin that had all her food for the summer in cans under her bed and who talked to her cats that weren't there...
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: Sahaira on April 02, 2014, 06:52:43 PM
My roommate when I was 19..How to I state this? Let's just say that her body was not a temple and everyone, EVERYONE was allowed to worship at her private services. She had so many seriously gross, shady, dangerous men over night after night that I installed a lock on my door. Unfortunately I couldn't be there all the time to keep an eye on my things and the sort of men she would bring over were the type to either steal or break everything that wasn't locked down and some things that were. I came home from vacation to find my VCR (yes, this was many years ago) completely dismantled and my computer had obviously been messed with. Her story? "Well, "Matt" wanted to take it apart, and it's not like I could do anything to stop him." Lovely.

Due to her fondness of such men (In reality, she just wanted to upset her parents for some reason), we often had people driving by the house shouting violent threats, knocking on our door at all hours looking for Flavor of the Night, showing out at our workplaces looking for Flavor of the Night (?) and many other charming incidents. I finally had enough after 6 months and moved back in with my parents.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: Angel B. on April 02, 2014, 11:21:57 PM
I've had a slew of roommates over the years, but since I'm annoyed at one of my current ones, he gets put up in Roommate Hell.

He's one of the most unclean people I've ever met. When he first moved in, he left all his clothes in our living room for a week. His GF would come and stay in our flat for days on end(no idea where she lived or what she looked like), which isn't bad except none of us had ever met her, and she wouldn't use the bathroom or kitchen unless she knew we were in our rooms or out. He also leaves dishes in the sink for WEEKS.

Some of these habits are getting broken from my other flatmate yelling at him, but his latest trick? Throwing cigarette butts in the toilet, and our building has plumbing older than the Stone Age. Guess who always has to unclog it, even if it has...other stuff in it?
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: 2littlemonkeys on April 03, 2014, 11:27:55 AM
My very worst roommate ever was a guy my other roommate, Beth, and I decided to rent with.  Oh man.  He looked awesome on paper.  Good job.  Often went Other City where his girlfriend lived on the weekends.  Told us he lived with his sister 'the neat freak' for a while so he knew how to clean up after himself.

Ha. HA HA HA.  Oh, John.

John did have a good job.  Too bad he routinely bet his entire paycheck on sports.  Thank DEITY he was either very good or very lucky. 
 
The cleaning up bit?  Oh, that was just because he knew that's what we wanted to hear.  The reality was that he was the biggest slob ever.  Cleaning was women's work and he was a man.  ::Chest thump::

His job provided breakfast and lunch so he never went grocery shopping.  Why would he do that when he could just eat our food?  We had MANY conversations about that but he just ignored us.  It got so bad, we had to keep the non-perishables in our rooms.

One time, I bought some special ingredients to make a treat for coworkers.  When I went to make the dessert, half of the chocolate I needed was gone.  I confronted John who said, "Well, you didn't tell me NOT to eat it!"  I never knew was 'seeing red' meant until that moment.  It was true that I didn't tell him not to eat it but it was IN MY ROOM.

He liked to leave pots of our food he cooked out so we could clean it up.  He also had a really hard time with aim, so cleaning the bathroom was always a treat.  He refused to clean it up himself and we just couldn't stand not to.  I was vacuuming in my room one day and he got angry because it was interrupting his football game. (That was the day we discovered his gambling habit.  It wasn't looking good and he was...tense.)

He belonged to X Religion and often preached to Beth and me that we were going straight to Hell because we were of Y religion (same basic religion, different flavors) and we occasionally went on dates with boys.  But on the weekends he didn't go home to his girlfriend, it was a constant parade of ladies. 

It was always so awkward to walk into the kitchen on Sunday morning to see a half naked girl we'd never been introduced to rummaging through our fridge.  I didn't care if he wanted to sleep with half of the city but the hypocrisy and double standard was disgusting.  I'm sure his girlfriend back home would have been pretty disgusted too.

I think the straw that broke the camel's back was the $$$ phone bill we got.  The utilities were in Beth's name and we just split them accordingly.  The phone bill was split with basic service and then any calls you made, you paid for.

One weekend, we both happened to be out of town and John had a big party.  We know because we came back on Sunday evening to find the house completely trashed and John nowhere to be found.  We were both pretty mad and talked about how we weren't going to renew the lease once it was up because of John and other reasons.  And of course, we had to clean it up, the place reeked of booze and cigarettes.

A couple of weeks later, I came home to find Beth in a rage.  It was scary, I'd never seen her like that before.  It turns out that on the weekend we were away, one of John's friends called some s*x line overseas.  For an HOUR.  We confronted him and his response was "::shrug:: So?  Whaddaya want me to do about it?  Joe is a jerk."  Our phone bill was in the neighborhood of $600, which we didn't have the means to pay.  (Normally it was around $30-$50)

Beth told him that someone was going to pay this bill and it wasn't going to be her and it wasn't going to be me.  I don't remember how we accomplished this but he got his friend to pony up.  Things were tense after that, with us being the hags trying to ruin his life.   ::)  >:(

We told him of our plans to not renew the lease and he responded by skipping out one day a month before the lease was up.  We got stuck with his part of the rent, phone, lights and cable but since he neglected to leave a forwarding address, we couldn't send his security deposit.  So we figured he either meant for that to happen or he's just a jerk wondering where we ran off to.

Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: Frog24 on April 03, 2014, 12:50:09 PM
In university, I shared the main floor of a house with three other roommates.  At some point, two of the roomies, James and Annie, started dating.  Suddenly, they wanted the living room to watch tv as a "date night", so we couldn't be in the common area. They also started baby-talking to each other all.the.time.  **shudder**

We talked the landlady into giving us laundry privileges after we'd all lived there for 2 years.  She let us do laundry on the weekends, but only until 5 pm. As soon as she unlocked the door, James & Annie started their laundry.  This is all fine, but they knew I worked 12 - 5 on the weekends and had asked if I could get my stuff done before I left for work.  Each week, they'd say "Oh yeah, we forgot!" but it was always the same.

Then James decided he should learn how to start cooking.  So one day, I come home to my boning knife, and a gruesomely dismembered chicken on my wooden cutting board, and no James or Annie to be found.  After an hour,  they came back from their trip to the grocery store and James says: "Your boning knife doesn't go through bones very well.  I had to hit it several times with the rolling pin to get it to go through."  I had to pick my jaw up off the floor.

I explained to him what a boning knife's for, and he just shrugged and said: "oops."  I told him I expected him to clean my cutting board properly after the chicken had been on it for so long.  His solution (after I'd left for work) was to fill the unwashed bathtub with water and bleach and soak my cutting board in it for several hours.  Of course the board warped.  When I called him on it (very timidly, after all, we were "friends"), again he shrugged and said "Oops".

After that, things spiraled down hill fairly quickly, and we (me and the 4th roommate) moved out.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: Cherry91 on April 05, 2014, 10:55:19 AM
Things were tense after that, with us being the hags trying to ruin his life.   ::)  >:(


Where do these folks come from who think it's perfectly acceptable to treat everyone around them like trash but one well-deserved cross word, and they're the VICTIM, and you're just so meeeeaaaan?
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: Black Delphinium on April 06, 2014, 02:40:06 PM
Things were tense after that, with us being the hags trying to ruin his life.   ::)  >:(


Where do these folks come from who think it's perfectly acceptable to treat everyone around them like trash but one well-deserved cross word, and they're the VICTIM, and you're just so meeeeaaaan?
Parents who instill in them the idea that their happiness is the most important thing in the world, a media that glorifies bad behavior...
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: Teenyweeny on April 06, 2014, 04:27:58 PM
Things were tense after that, with us being the hags trying to ruin his life.   ::)  >:(


Where do these folks come from who think it's perfectly acceptable to treat everyone around them like trash but one well-deserved cross word, and they're the VICTIM, and you're just so meeeeaaaan?
Parents who instill in them the idea that their happiness is the most important thing in the world, a media that glorifies bad behavior...

To be fair, my mum has always told me that the most important thing is to be happy. She also gave me morals,  so that I can't BE happy if I'm being a jerk.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on April 06, 2014, 08:49:57 PM
Things were tense after that, with us being the hags trying to ruin his life.   ::)  >:(


Where do these folks come from who think it's perfectly acceptable to treat everyone around them like trash but one well-deserved cross word, and they're the VICTIM, and you're just so meeeeaaaan?

And from the sound of it, whatever denomination he's in either 1) is one which views women in a way similar to how they were seen during biblical times, or 2) that's just what he listens to/how he interprets it cause it sounds good and allows him to treat women poorly and sleep at night.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: bansidhe on April 09, 2014, 05:29:11 PM
This story isn't a roommate from hell story, but it is a roommate story, at least.

One of my roommates in college was Laura. She was a decent sort and we got along just fine. At the time, I had three cats. Somehow or another Laura had reached early adulthood without having any exposure to cats at all, which led to some amusing incidents.

One of the kitties cuddled up next to Laura on the sofa while she was studying, so she started petting him. I was quite startled when she suddenly jumped up from the sofa with a squeal. When I asked what was wrong, she said kitty had started growling at her. Concerned, I walked over to kitty and petted him, only to hear her say, "Oh no...he's doing it again!" He was purring. Loudly.

My favorite incident was the time she approached me, visibly nervous, saying we needed to have a talk. She looked quite serious about it and I couldn't imagine what she wanted to talk about, as everything seemed to be going just fine. She started off in a rambling manner, talking about the way she was raised and her values and such, then finally said that she didn't like drug use at all and wasn't comfortable having drugs in the house. Well, me neither. In fact, to this day I've never used any illegal drugs at all and have never been drunk. Not my thing at all.

So what prompted the talk? She'd opened one of my desk drawers to look for a pen (not a problem at all - she had permission) and had found a plastic bag full of catnip. It was even labelled "catnip" but she'd never heard of the stuff and assumed it was pot.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: Klein Bottle on April 10, 2014, 09:35:46 AM
This story isn't a roommate from hell story, but it is a roommate story, at least.

One of my roommates in college was Laura. She was a decent sort and we got along just fine. At the time, I had three cats. Somehow or another Laura had reached early adulthood without having any exposure to cats at all, which led to some amusing incidents.

One of the kitties cuddled up next to Laura on the sofa while she was studying, so she started petting him. I was quite startled when she suddenly jumped up from the sofa with a squeal. When I asked what was wrong, she said kitty had started growling at her. Concerned, I walked over to kitty and petted him, only to hear her say, "Oh no...he's doing it again!" He was purring. Loudly.

My favorite incident was the time she approached me, visibly nervous, saying we needed to have a talk. She looked quite serious about it and I couldn't imagine what she wanted to talk about, as everything seemed to be going just fine. She started off in a rambling manner, talking about the way she was raised and her values and such, then finally said that she didn't like drug use at all and wasn't comfortable having drugs in the house. Well, me neither. In fact, to this day I've never used any illegal drugs at all and have never been drunk. Not my thing at all.

So what prompted the talk? She'd opened one of my desk drawers to look for a pen (not a problem at all - she had permission) and had found a plastic bag full of catnip. It was even labelled "catnip" but she'd never heard of the stuff and assumed it was pot.

LOL!!  I suppose it would be a little unnerving to be seated next to a heartily purring kitty, if one hadn't experienced that before!  That's also funny about the catnip.   (My cats act like crackheads rather than stoners when I give it to them, though!)   ;D  I bet your kitties made a kitty lover for life of Laura.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: darling on April 10, 2014, 11:31:50 AM
My roommate hell:

Junior year of college, in the dorms... I was put in temporary housing with about 11 other girls, which you would think would have been the "hell" part. Nope, it was GREAT! We had a great time, everyone was pretty respectful of each other, and many of us became pretty good friends. It was about 3 weeks before I got assigned to a room (that's when the college knows for sure that a particular student is not going to show up). That's when the fun began.

I got my room assignment, but apparently my new roommate had not bothered to get her mail, or answer her phone, so she had no idea that she was getting a roommate at all before I showed up. That was awesome, by the way. I stopped by to introduce myself, and she basically slammed the door in my face. It didn't get much better from there, despite my efforts to be friendly and accommodating.

When I moved in, I found that she had disassembled my bed. Remember, classes had been in session for 3 weeks at this point, so I was trying to move in at a point when I had projects, homework, work, and exams. There is nothing like working super hard to move in a short window between classes, and then not even having a bed to sleep in without assembling it first (I have no idea how she got it apart on her own, but it took three of us to put it back together, as it was very heavy steel). I also had an 8 am class. I was exhausted by the time I finally got the bed assembled and could crash.

At one point, she locked me out of the room, and I had to get an RA to force her to let me in. She had no particular reason for doing so, other than the fact that she just didn't want a roommate.

She had taken all three sections of the closet, and seemed surprised that I actually wanted to use one of the sections. She tried to get me to give her half of my ONE closet section! Nope, not happening. I had to cram everything I owned into that one section, as we didn't have dressers. We had three small drawers, and the rest of the main cabinet was open shelving. My underwear lived in my bottom desk drawer for awhile, because I didn't have room to assemble my folding cardboard storage unit, and she was slow to clear out a single drawer for me to use.

She was supposedly pre-med, but she never went to class. She slept most of the day, and did copious amounts of catalog shopping (This was 20+ years ago. I shudder to think what it would have been like now, with online shopping.). She was almost always in the room, which meant that I seldom had privacy. I took to hanging out with a book in the basement, just to get some privacy.

She would have lengthy phone conversations at 2 or 3 in the morning with her parents overseas in Japan, almost every night. She would sob during these conversations. She did not want to be there at all. They would not let her drop out. She was trying to fail out so she could go home.

She did NOT SLEEP AT NIGHT. Therefore, I barely slept at all, because I still went to classes and worked, and had projects. By golly, though, if I needed to be working in the room during the time she slept (all day, remember), it was the end of the world. She did not want me to study in the room at all, and complained quite a bit when I finally refused to study elsewhere, because I was sick of always having to be the one to leave when I was paying just as much for the room as she was.

I also couldn't use my blowdryer in the room because it was too noisy. I ended up figuring out how to use the hand dryers in the bathroom to dry my hair (we had a bunch at a higher level than usual, so I think that they were actually intended to dry hair).

She washed her feet in the sink nightly. We were right across the hall from the showers, which I dunno... is a more appropriate place to wash your feet than the sink that we did dishes in, but what do I know, right? My bed was by the sink, so she would rest her foot on my footboard while she did whatever it was that she did. I was usually in bed at the time, which made it even weirder than it sounds.

Speaking of dishes... She didn't actually do her dishes. They piled up under the sink. I had a meal plan that covered most of my meals, so I generally just had a cup or two to wash at a time. I was not going to wash her dishes.

She would use my microwave at odd hours of the night. Like at 3 am, again. The microwave was right by my bed. I had asked her repeatedly to please not use it after midnight, because I had early classes. One night, I had finally had it. I had a sinus infection, and a final at 7:30 am. I had finally gotten to sleep at around midnight. 4am, she starts microwaving something. I lost it. I also couldn't get back to sleep. I swear I aced that final because I was too furious to fail.

I moved out after finals. I didn't bother telling her until I was actually moving out, which I'll admit was mean, but I really had had it. A friend needed a roommate at a different dorm. The same day that she woke me up at 4 by using my microwave, I went to the housing office and filled out the paperwork for a transfer, right after my final. When my Dad came to pick me up for Christmas Break, we moved all my things to the new dorm. She came in as we were moving my stuff, I shook her hand, told her it was nice to have met her, I was moving out, and we left. I heard later that she just couldn't understand why I left, as we got along so well.  :o

The funny thing is, right after the first week of living with her (during which I had gotten almost no sleep, due to her flipped schedule), a good friend from temp housing got assigned a room 2 doors down. Her roommate was best friends with my roommate. We got together with them and proposed a swap. They refused, as they didn't want to live together because "it would ruin their friendship"...  ::) Her friend was much more adjusted to college life, and probably knew exactly how awful it would be living with my roommate.

BTW, this isn't even half of all of the weirdness...
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: alkira6 on April 10, 2014, 12:36:14 PM
Darling, you are a true hero for being classy about all of that.  I would have snapped after 2 weeks, moved some of her crap so that I had half of the room, unplugged my microwave and dared her to plug it back in, and used the hair dryer if I darned well pleased if it was during waking hours.

I also would have been labeled the unreasonable one and gotten in trouble, because that's how these things go.   ::)
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: songbird on April 10, 2014, 03:47:05 PM
My story first, then my daughter's.

I'd had a few "winners" in college and law school, but nothing too terrible.  After I landed my first job I used a roommate referral service to find a place to live, and wound up in a two bedroom apartment with another young woman I will call Lauren.

At first Lauren and I got along well.  Three months after I moved in, Lauren had an argument with the landlady. Next thing I knew, we were served with eviction papers.  The landlady offered to rent the apartment to me after Lauren moved out, but I chose to find another apartment with Lauren.

After we moved, however . . .

I have to admit, I'm somewhat of a slob.  I tried very hard to contain the mess to my own room.  Occasionally I'd slip up and she would become very upset.  Understandable, of course.  She was terrified we would get a cockroach infestation if the place were not kept spotless.

But what she did that one time . . .

I went out of town one summer weekend.  I forgot to take out the trash before I left.  Came home and found it all piled up in the middle of my bedroom floor.  So mature.  Fortunately there were no bugs . . . Though I doubt the bugs would have stayed in my room. . .


The proverbial straw that broke the camel's back, though . . .

As I said, she feared an infestation.  Wrapped all of her non perishables in plastic to keep out the bugs before placing them in the cabinets.  One day she bought a 5 pound bag of flour, wrapped it in plastic, and placed it in one of the cabinets.  Usually we kept food in the cabinets over the countertop and kept our pots and pan in the cabinets under the counter, but for some reason she put the flour in the pot cabinet.

She was away for the weekend, and I hadn't bothered to cook all weekend.  I got up Sunday morning with plans to cook breakfast for my fiance, opened up the pot cabinet and discovered that mice had been partying with Lauren's flour.  There were floury footprints and other evidence of their enjoyment on every pot and pan we owned.

So I spent my entire Sunday emptying cabinets, cleaning cabinets and washing pots and pans.   It was dinner time and I was still in my bathrobe, reorganizing the pots and pans, when she came home.

I told her what had happened, and her only comment was "Well, did you go downstairs and tell the landlord?"

When I said "no", she rolled her eyes and went downstairs.


The landlord came up with glue traps.  One mouse got caught in a trap that night, and cried all night.  Right outside Lauren's door.

I moved out about a month later.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: songbird on April 10, 2014, 04:22:20 PM
Now, my daughter's story.

Freshman year and she is assigned to live in an on-campus apartment.  Nice apartment, with 3 bedrooms and two bathrooms.  It's designed for 6 students, but because housing is limited at this school, 8 freshmen girls will live in this apartment.

Because we now live in an age of Facebook and a Twitter and texting, the girls all chat before school starts, and it looks like everyone is going to get along.

Wrong.

One girl didn't make it through freshman orientation.  She started crying the moment her parents dropped her off, and didn't stop until they picked her up three days later.  I can only guess what would have happened if her parents didn't come for her.

At some point my daughter's roommate found a boyfriend.  Suddenly my daughter was getting text messages along the lines of "find a place to sleep tonight."  Usually these messages would show up on her phone around midnight, as she was headed home.

Eventually the situation deteriorated.  My daughter would be sitting at her desk doing work.  Roommate and boyfriend would be there, too. Daughter would get up to go to the bathroom or get something from the kitchen, and they would lock her out of the bedroom.

The kicker is, the boyfriend lived two floors away, and had his own bedroom, no roommate.


The other girls all got along -- with each other.  My daughter was the odd girl out.  That didn't stop them from using her stuff. 

The apartment had a single hookup for cable tv.  My daughter brought the tv, and they all shared it.  One day my daughter came home to find that someone's boyfriend had hooked up his laptop to the tv so that he could stream some show he wanted to watch.

She'd frequently find her pots, pans and dishes used and unwashed and sitting in the sink.  What drove her over the edge, though, was how one of the girls ruined a frying pan -- apparently she had no idea you can't use metal utensils on a nonstick surface, and she used a knife to cut up her food while it was still in the pan.

But the best story?

My daughter attends a Catholic university.  Many of the faculty are priests.  Some of them are housed in the same apartment building as the students.  My daughter's next-door neighbor was not only a faculty member and priest, but the Dean of Students himself.

So it came as no surprise that when one of the apartment mates decided to bake brownies with a secret herbal ingredient, she got caught.  The R.A. showed up to deal with the situation, but I suspect it's because the Dean called her.  I think the consequences would have been more severe if the Dean had to handle it himself.

My daughter was upset when the other girls told her the 6 of them wanted to live together sophomore year and she would have to find another group to live with.  They did her a favor, as it turns out.  She had a better number in the housing lottery than they did, got a nicer apartment, and wound up living with a girl who is now one of her closest friends.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: gmatoy on April 10, 2014, 09:32:42 PM
Now, my daughter's story.
My daughter was upset when the other girls told her the 6 of them wanted to live together sophomore year and she would have to find another group to live with.  They did her a favor, as it turns out.  She had a better number in the housing lottery than they did, got a nicer apartment, and wound up living with a girl who is now one of her closest friends.

Living well is the best revenge!  (I love a happy ending!)
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: songbird on April 10, 2014, 10:43:38 PM
Yes, and she knows it.

Can't believe that I forgot the part about her clothes.

My daughter is a fashionista. Loves clothes. Loves to shop for clothes.  And has a talent for knowing how to combine garments and accessories to create a "look".  Also very picky about how she launders the clothes.  And won't lend them out to anyone except her sister.

When she was in high school she got a job at a clothing store in the mall.  This store has an interesting ploy -- they actively recruit their customers to apply for work at the store, and one of the requirements of employment is that sales help must wear the product line while on duty.  Her entire paycheck wound up back at the store.   Consequently her freshman wardrobe contained a significant number of items from this store. 

None of her apartment mates shopped in that store.


So you can imagine her surprise when she comes home and sees one of the apartment mates in what is apparently my daughter's shirt.  She checks her closet and the shirt is missing.

So she says to the girl, "That's my shirt."

And the disingenuous reply?  "it is?  I didn't know.  I thought my sister left it here when she visited last week."
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: wolfie on April 11, 2014, 08:58:06 AM
When my sister went to college she became friends with someone else whose roommate went off the deep end and left after only 6 weeks. There were a bunch of things she did but the only one i remember is that one day she went into the friend's underwear drawer and cut the crotches out of all her panties.

I don't think she paid for new ones but she did leave very shortly afterwards.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: ddawn23 on April 14, 2014, 09:22:11 PM
The apartment had a single hookup for cable tv.  My daughter brought the tv, and they all shared it.  One day my daughter came home to find that someone's boyfriend had hooked up his laptop to the tv so that he could stream some show he wanted to watch.
Everything else is pretty bad, but I don't understand what's wrong with this.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: AngelicGamer on April 14, 2014, 09:35:39 PM
The apartment had a single hookup for cable tv.  My daughter brought the tv, and they all shared it.  One day my daughter came home to find that someone's boyfriend had hooked up his laptop to the tv so that he could stream some show he wanted to watch.
Everything else is pretty bad, but I don't understand what's wrong with this.

One can easily screw up a TV pretty badly if it's unscrewed wrong.  Mom and I just broke a TV due to a cable being screwed in wrong and now you can't screw any sort of cable into it at all.  Five bucks says the roommate's boyfriend wouldn't have offered to pay for said TV if it broke.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: Black Delphinium on April 14, 2014, 09:43:48 PM
For me, if you don't live here, you don't mess with the back of the TV, or the thermostat, or where the furniture is(the big stuff, not dining room chairs and stuff), etc.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: songbird on April 15, 2014, 07:45:23 AM
The apartment had a single hookup for cable tv.  My daughter brought the tv, and they all shared it.  One day my daughter came home to find that someone's boyfriend had hooked up his laptop to the tv so that he could stream some show he wanted to watch.
Everything else is pretty bad, but I don't understand what's wrong with this.

One can easily screw up a TV pretty badly if it's unscrewed wrong.  Mom and I just broke a TV due to a cable being screwed in wrong and now you can't screw any sort of cable into it at all.  Five bucks says the roommate's boyfriend wouldn't have offered to pay for said TV if it broke.

Exactly.  She knew she was sharing the tv with the roommates,.  If they were watching something she didn't want to watch, that's part of the experience.  But messing with the electronics, not so much. Fortunately nothing happened.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: VorFemme on April 15, 2014, 08:02:36 AM
I've seen too many people trip on cables that were strung across open space for "temporary" use - with horrible potential to damage the equipment and the person - depending on how & where they landed.

BAD idea - ranging all the way up to REALLY BAD idea if the connecting cable was a trip hazard.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: Zerbinetta on August 27, 2015, 04:46:47 PM
I know this is quite an old thread, but I stumbled across it and couldn't resist adding my own story.

My sophomore year of college, I lived in a dorm that was set up in suites - two rooms sharing a bathroom. I was in a suite of doubles: two girls in each room, all sharing a bathroom. About a week into the semester, one of the girls in the other room, a law student from a distant state, dropped out due to homesickness. Then, in December, my roommate told me that she wouldn't be coming back to the dorms after Christmas, but would be moving off campus. Okay, great - that left me with my own room, and almost my own bathroom. Well - except for the remaining suitemate's out of town boyfriend, who came and stayed almost every weekend. Note that this was a Catholic university, and the rules were no overnight opposite sex visitors.

Well, things are going okay - I didn't love having to share my bathroom with a guy I didn't know, but I lived with it. Until one day, several months later, when I came home to find... The latch on the inside of the bathroom door had been removed. I immediately went to the RA.

It turns out that, all year long, I'd been forgetting to unlatch the door on her side, and doing it often enough that the RA had gotten tired of having to come in and unlock it for her. So she told my suitemate to "deal with it."

NO ONE had said one word to me about this. My suitemate had not thought it necessary to actually speak to me about the problem, and neither had the RA!  :o I was furious, but also not very good at being assertive (politely or otherwise ;)). I had words with suitemate, who basically just said they'd be careful to always knock before entering the bathroom. Well, as you can guess, it wasn't long before her boyfriend walked in on me while I was on the toilet...

Even then, I didn't do anything about it. Now, I'd have a different response. 20 years later, it still makes me mad to think about how I didn't stand up for myself.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: MonteCristo on August 28, 2015, 08:38:27 AM
I know this is quite an old thread, but I stumbled across it and couldn't resist adding my own story.

My sophomore year of college, I lived in a dorm that was set up in suites - two rooms sharing a bathroom. I was in a suite of doubles: two girls in each room, all sharing a bathroom. About a week into the semester, one of the girls in the other room, a law student from a distant state, dropped out due to homesickness. Then, in December, my roommate told me that she wouldn't be coming back to the dorms after Christmas, but would be moving off campus. Okay, great - that left me with my own room, and almost my own bathroom. Well - except for the remaining suitemate's out of town boyfriend, who came and stayed almost every weekend. Note that this was a Catholic university, and the rules were no overnight opposite sex visitors.

Well, things are going okay - I didn't love having to share my bathroom with a guy I didn't know, but I lived with it. Until one day, several months later, when I came home to find... The latch on the inside of the bathroom door had been removed. I immediately went to the RA.

It turns out that, all year long, I'd been forgetting to unlatch the door on her side, and doing it often enough that the RA had gotten tired of having to come in and unlock it for her. So she told my suitemate to "deal with it."

NO ONE had said one word to me about this. My suitemate had not thought it necessary to actually speak to me about the problem, and neither had the RA!  :o I was furious, but also not very good at being assertive (politely or otherwise ;)). I had words with suitemate, who basically just said they'd be careful to always knock before entering the bathroom. Well, as you can guess, it wasn't long before her boyfriend walked in on me while I was on the toilet...

Even then, I didn't do anything about it. Now, I'd have a different response. 20 years later, it still makes me mad to think about how I didn't stand up for myself.

I don't understand why they don't just put keyed locks on the bathrooms in dorms.  That way you could lock the door and get that security from accidental walkins, and if you forgot, your roomate could still get in.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: fountainof on August 28, 2015, 09:13:30 AM
On the shared bathroom situation I don't know why the poster doesn't feel responsible for the situation.  Can you imagine every time you went to the washroom it being locked?  I mean how didn't the poster get that her door was unlocked but forget to unlock the other, it is really is rude to make the mistake over and over again.  Sure maybe the roommate should have spoken with her and not the RA but to be honest maybe they felt she wouldn't comply because it happened so often that obviously she didn't care.  Personally, I would have retaliated and locked the poster out a few times to see how she liked it and maybe it would help her not "forget".  I am impressed the roommate handled it on her own by getting the RA, I probably would have blown up as you just cannot "forget" in shared living quarters.  I don't see what the poster has to be "livid" about as the situation was caused by her actions alone, if she didn't forget all the time no one would have had to resort to removing the lock.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: Clareish on August 28, 2015, 10:10:07 AM
On the shared bathroom situation I don't know why the poster doesn't feel responsible for the situation.  Can you imagine every time you went to the washroom it being locked?  I mean how didn't the poster get that her door was unlocked but forget to unlock the other, it is really is rude to make the mistake over and over again.  Sure maybe the roommate should have spoken with her and not the RA but to be honest maybe they felt she wouldn't comply because it happened so often that obviously she didn't care.  Personally, I would have retaliated and locked the poster out a few times to see how she liked it and maybe it would help her not "forget".  I am impressed the roommate handled it on her own by getting the RA, I probably would have blown up as you just cannot "forget" in shared living quarters.  I don't see what the poster has to be "livid" about as the situation was caused by her actions alone, if she didn't forget all the time no one would have had to resort to removing the lock.

Yeah, in university I lived in a dorm with this kind of bathroom set up. I would have been LIVID if my roomie consistently locked me out of my own bathroom. This is a BIG deal, and for the OP to be crying victim because the RA had to be involved is.... well, it mimics some of the ongoing themes in this thread.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: HannahGrace on August 28, 2015, 10:34:25 AM
On the shared bathroom situation I don't know why the poster doesn't feel responsible for the situation.  Can you imagine every time you went to the washroom it being locked?  I mean how didn't the poster get that her door was unlocked but forget to unlock the other, it is really is rude to make the mistake over and over again.  Sure maybe the roommate should have spoken with her and not the RA but to be honest maybe they felt she wouldn't comply because it happened so often that obviously she didn't care.  Personally, I would have retaliated and locked the poster out a few times to see how she liked it and maybe it would help her not "forget".  I am impressed the roommate handled it on her own by getting the RA, I probably would have blown up as you just cannot "forget" in shared living quarters.  I don't see what the poster has to be "livid" about as the situation was caused by her actions alone, if she didn't forget all the time no one would have had to resort to removing the lock.

Yeah, in university I lived in a dorm with this kind of bathroom set up. I would have been LIVID if my roomie consistently locked me out of my own bathroom. This is a BIG deal, and for the OP to be crying victim because the RA had to be involved is.... well, it mimics some of the ongoing themes in this thread.

For real.  This went on for several MONTHS.  Wow.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: TootsNYC on August 28, 2015, 11:07:19 AM
I don't get why the RA didn't say something, even if the suitemate felt she couldn't.

That was wrong, I think, for the RA to just go along unlocking the bathroom door without saying anything to the OP, and then to remove the lock completely.

Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: LazyDaisy on August 28, 2015, 11:11:40 AM
I can understand the roommate not wanting to directly confront the OP but bad on the RA. A meeting should have been set up so the RA could mediate this or see if moving one of them to a new suite was in order, not just allow a student to vandalize university property.

In college I was in a similar, but more crowded situation, 6 girls, 3 bedrooms, a sitting area, 1 bathroom suite. The bathroom, oddly enough, was not much of a problem since there was also a public bathroom on the floor. One roommate went to the RA to complain that I was on the shared phone all the time and not letting others use it. This was way before everyone had cell phones. The RA called an apartment meeting and heard both of our stories. The truth was, roommate was the one who was calling her out of state boyfriend every night and staying on the phone for hours. She complained because I got a phone call one night just as she was about it use it and I refused to tell the person I couldn't talk and hand over the phone. The other roommates really didn't care so much either way because they didn't make or receive many calls and so they'd never really had a conflict. However, two of them took my side that she couldn't just kick anyone off the phone because she wanted to use it, and two took her side that I should have given way, because it was her boyfriend ::) and they had a routine. But they all verified that she was on the phone every night for hours. The sort-of resolution was that everybody needed to limit their calls to an hour or less even if nobody was waiting to use it, and no more than 20 minutes if someone was waiting to use it. This really only impacted her so she was mad. When the semester was over, she moved off campus.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: Mustard on August 28, 2015, 11:20:01 AM
Please could someone put me out of my misery and explain who, or what, the RA is?
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: TootsNYC on August 28, 2015, 11:21:52 AM
Please could someone put me out of my misery and explain who, or what, the RA is?

Resident Assistant--the upperclassman who lives on the floor and acts as "dorm mom" or official housing representative.
   They have administrative duties and emotional/counselor duties.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: LazyDaisy on August 28, 2015, 11:31:45 AM
...or Resident Advisor. In my experience, they don't necessarily need to be upperclassmen but they are employees of the university who live on the floor and act as supervisor and counselor to the other residents. In my situation, the RA wasn't a student, but her husband was, and they and their daughter lived in the building full-time. They were the ones to call if there were maintenance issues, locked out, roommate disputes, move in/move out inspections, in case of injury or sickness requiring an emergency contact, we were even supposed to let them know if we would be gone over night.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: rose red on August 28, 2015, 11:38:48 AM
I don't get why the RA didn't say something, even if the suitemate felt she couldn't.

That was wrong, I think, for the RA to just go along unlocking the bathroom door without saying anything to the OP, and then to remove the lock completely.

Yeah, I don't understand why nobody said "Hey, you keep forgetting to unlock the bathroom door and it's making out lives difficult." Yes, the OP is at fault for always forgetting, but for goodness sake, speak up! Put a sign on the door. Something.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: Mustard on August 28, 2015, 12:55:26 PM
Thank you Toots and Daisy!
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: AfleetAlex on August 28, 2015, 01:50:41 PM
We also had suites in college with the bathroom between two rooms, and one of my suitemates used to drag a futon mattress or similar into the bathroom and lock us all out so she and her boyfriend (or whoever she was cheating on her boyfriend with) could play Scrabble. Sometimes they'd just leave the mattress there. One weekend I had my parents up and had to hide the mattress in case they asked why it was on the bathroom floor.  ::)

She was truly an unhappy person and she wanted to share it with the rest of us. I would have handled her differently now - and much more firmly! - than I did then.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: FauxFoodist on August 28, 2015, 01:56:56 PM
On the shared bathroom situation I don't know why the poster doesn't feel responsible for the situation.  Can you imagine every time you went to the washroom it being locked?  I mean how didn't the poster get that her door was unlocked but forget to unlock the other, it is really is rude to make the mistake over and over again.

I had this same thought when I saw the post but opted not to respond at the time.  Good to see I'm not the only one.  Yes, the BF who shouldn't have been there walked in on her, but the poster created the situation by being so inconsiderate towards her roommate for *months*.  While I could see stating the roommate should've spoken up, we've seen how hard it is for people to have the spine to stand up for themselves so I'm thinking it was easier/non-confrontational to ask the RA to unlock the door...over and over and over again.  I'd fault the RA for not addressing it, not the roommate for the option she took.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: pierrotlunaire0 on August 28, 2015, 02:50:40 PM
My college dorm suite was set up like that, with a door that could be locked from the inside.  However, it could be unlocked from the outside, it was just a hassle.  You could insert a nail file or butter knife, and with a little jiggling, the lock would turn.  However, it was very noisy, so little chance of someone walking in on you because you would have had lots of warning.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: Cali.in.UK on August 28, 2015, 03:16:32 PM
When I transferred from community college to a four year I moved in with the few girls that I knew who were also attending the same university. We were all friends and it seemed great but their friend from high school, Gary, would also be living with us. I didn't know Gary but I wasn't really in a situation to argue because I didn't have any housing options. Well, Gary ended up being a huge jerk from about week three until we moved out.

I think he was a really unhappy person and everyone else in the house had mutual friends with him so I was really the only person he could be nasty to with no repercussions. And unfortunately my friends are totally afraid of confrontation. But during our first confrontation, after he yelled at me when I had a friend visiting, which was so unexpected and uncomfortable, I tried to talk to him one-on-one to work it out after my friend left (In my opinion, we were going to be living together for 12 months so it would be better to figure out any issues and work them out for a harmonious living environment, right?).

The one-on-one went poorly and he said a slough of things, but the thing I remember most was when he was going on and on about everything he would not change/alter about his behaviour, even though he was living with others, I said "well, we are five people in this house and we all will have to make compromises when living with this many people" (it was about him wanting to watch tv alone in the living room and everyone else staying in their rooms to not bother him even though he had a giant tv in his own private room), and he got really stern and said, "I will never compromise for anyone, ever." Ummm okay... So that set the stage for how he acted until we moved out. My then-bf and I lovingly referred to him as "the ogre" (not to his face).
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: kherbert05 on August 28, 2015, 03:46:51 PM
I don't get why the RA didn't say something, even if the suitemate felt she couldn't.

That was wrong, I think, for the RA to just go along unlocking the bathroom door without saying anything to the OP, and then to remove the lock completely.

Yeah, I don't understand why nobody said "Hey, you keep forgetting to unlock the bathroom door and it's making out lives difficult." Yes, the OP is at fault for always forgetting, but for goodness sake, speak up! Put a sign on the door. Something.
I agree the RA should have said something. That is part of their job. My freshman RA hated me - because a complaint from my parents and a warning from me that I was going to charge her and my suitemate with theft meant she was informed she would not be hired the next year.

One of my suitemates attempted to harm herself. I was unaware of this and our rooms were searched to figure out what she had used. I had an epi kit - These had a syringe not an autoinjector. She had tried to inject the epi into a vain. They also found several months (Jan - March Spring Break) supply of various allergy meds. (I have different levels of meds for different types of reactions, we used an independent pharmacy so I couldn't just go to the chain in University town for refills. We also didn't know how I would react to the cedar in the area). The RA kept telling people I was an addict.

She contacted my parents and suggested that I was going to harm myself. Note this was a University Junior studying Literature no way qualified to make that type of assessment. No-one else in our suite or the girl's friends had their parents called like this. My cousin down in Austin was called by my parents - rushed up to the campus to find out if I was OK. Other than nearly punching this same person in the face because she grabbed me from behind in a hug after being told I don't like being touched I was hot headed but fine. Cousin took me to dinner and to stay the weekend at their house so I could cool off. Monday, both my parents and I filed a complaint about the call. One of the other RA's, Beth, who had known me since I was in kinder with her little sister also filed a complaint and reported the rumors this woman was spreading. Beth told them that my behavior and attitude were normal for me and that grabbing me was a really bad idea because of years of self defense training and the pain it caused because of my skin conditions would cause me to defend myself.

Things cooled down for a month. Then my stuff kept disappearing, and I would find it in remaining suitemate's possession. She would gaslight me saying I had left it in the common area so she borrowed it. I caught her and the RA in my room removing my radio. I got a lecture about "stealing" suitemate's radio. I pointed out it was mine - it had my Name and DL# engraved on it. I was then told I had to be "christian" and give suitemate my stuff because she was suffering because of actions of other suitemate. (They hated each other). I bypassed the head of woman's dorms and Dean of students and went to the campus police and filed a complaint. (In part because when all the fuss about my allergy meds happened the chief told the whole lot they were idiots, and I had done nothing wrong). They were given a warning that if anything else was borrowed from my room they would be arrested and expelled. It stopped. I was hated by the RA and her Sorority - but they were scared of making me angry because I would take proper action so I didn't give a flip.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: AngelicGamer on August 28, 2015, 04:15:56 PM
On the roommate locking thing, I really think it was on the roommate or the RA to speak to the OP.  Heck, when there was a problem with my freshman roommate (who eventually moved out), we had a meeting with the RA.  So for there to be action without a meeting is mind blowing to me.  Yes, I would be as mad as the OP because nobody talked to me.  Nobody gave me a chance to change my actions.  They would just assume that I would continue to be an idiot and lock my roommate out.  That would make me so mad.  I'd rather have a chance to change vs assuming I won't.

My roommate moved out because she couldn't live without being with her boyfriend 24/7.  Also, I didn't liked being locked out of my room where I couldn't put my expensive violin away safely vs lugging it to the dining halls.  Or being locked out so they could have private time at 10 pm when I wanted to sleep.  Yes, I had my own problems of wanting to do homework during nighttime hours, but I easily moved to the study area for that as soon as it was brought up during the meeting with the RA.  I suspect she was told to move instead of them moving me because they were her issues and it was a handicapped room.  I was and am the one with the handicap.  :)  Last I heard that year, she was up on the co-ed floor of the same dorm where she could room with her boyfriend.  They disbanded that floor the next year - too many issues with rooming / having to move / other issues.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: drzim on August 28, 2015, 08:20:55 PM
On the shared bathroom situation I don't know why the poster doesn't feel responsible for the situation.  Can you imagine every time you went to the washroom it being locked?  I mean how didn't the poster get that her door was unlocked but forget to unlock the other, it is really is rude to make the mistake over and over again.

I had this same thought when I saw the post but opted not to respond at the time.  Good to see I'm not the only one.  Yes, the BF who shouldn't have been there walked in on her, but the poster created the situation by being so inconsiderate towards her roommate for *months*.  While I could see stating the roommate should've spoken up, we've seen how hard it is for people to have the spine to stand up for themselves so I'm thinking it was easier/non-confrontational to ask the RA to unlock the door...over and over and over again.  I'd fault the RA for not addressing it, not the roommate for the option she took.

It did occur to me that maybe the main reason the OP kept locking the door in the first place was that she was forced to share a bathroom with a male who was basically a stranger to her.  I shared a similar suite when I was in college and I can't remember ever bothering to lock our bathroom door.
So I think the roommate did bring it on herself in a way but I agree that the RA should have handled it better.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: Slartibartfast on August 28, 2015, 11:53:49 PM
My dorm mostly had "suites" with gender-segregated bathrooms (two sinks/showers/toilets each), but DH's room for two years was in the "secret suite." This was a set of three single rooms in a hard-to-find hallway with a lockable door (needed a room key for any room in the dorm) to even get in, and had two single-occupancy bathrooms with the kind of lock you just turn when you're inside (like you'd have at home).  The university kept one of the rooms furnished and used it as an emergency hideaway spot in cases where someone's roommate/boyfriend/etc. situation required them to have an immediate safe place to stay. Senior year, the university stopped using the secret suite as emergency housing and allowed three guys from our dorm (including DH) to have the three rooms.

Someone in their administrative wisdom decided that since the suite was now "all male," they needed to change the locks on the bathroom doors to the same gender-coded locks we had in the rest of the building - you needed a key to a male student's room (any room in the building) to get in.  Except they were still single-occupancy bathrooms, which means now instead of being able to go inside and lock the door and do your thing, any guy in the dorm could walk in on you and there was no way to know from the outside whether the bathroom was occupied or not  ::)  I was, err, spending a lot of time in now-DH's room at the time  :P so I had to go all the way upstairs to pee. DH and the other two guys tried to do occupied/unoccupied signs on the doors, but maintenance kept taking them down  >:(
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: jedikaiti on August 29, 2015, 12:12:23 AM
On the shared bathroom situation I don't know why the poster doesn't feel responsible for the situation.  Can you imagine every time you went to the washroom it being locked?  I mean how didn't the poster get that her door was unlocked but forget to unlock the other, it is really is rude to make the mistake over and over again.

I had this same thought when I saw the post but opted not to respond at the time.  Good to see I'm not the only one.  Yes, the BF who shouldn't have been there walked in on her, but the poster created the situation by being so inconsiderate towards her roommate for *months*.  While I could see stating the roommate should've spoken up, we've seen how hard it is for people to have the spine to stand up for themselves so I'm thinking it was easier/non-confrontational to ask the RA to unlock the door...over and over and over again.  I'd fault the RA for not addressing it, not the roommate for the option she took.

It did occur to me that maybe the main reason the OP kept locking the door in the first place was that she was forced to share a bathroom with a male who was basically a stranger to her.  I shared a similar suite when I was in college and I can't remember ever bothering to lock our bathroom door.
So I think the roommate did bring it on herself in a way but I agree that the RA should have handled it better.

The dorms I lived in simply had the toilet in a stall, with a door like you'd find in a public bathroom. You could lock the door to the shared toilet/shower from inside your room, so nobody could come in from the bathroom, but not from inside the bathroom. The shower had 2 curtains - one between the shower and the changing area, and one between that and the hallway. Everyone got their privacy, nobody got locked out of the bathroom. Worked pretty well.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: MommyPenguin on August 29, 2015, 06:55:13 AM
My first dorm, we had a shared bathroom with the neighboring dorm room.  It had the typical system where it has a door going into each room.  You lock both when you go in, then you unlock both when you go out.  You could also lock the bathroom door from the room side when you weren't using it, so that people from the neighboring room couldn't come into your room.  Well, my roommate was very creeped out by this somehow.  She kept hearing somebody in the bathroom in the middle of the night and assuming they were evil attackers determined to sneak into our room and attack us, or... something.  Once I got up to go to the bathroom during the night, and when I went to leave the bathroom, I couldn't... she'd locked me in!  I knocked, and she eventually opened the door--holding a softball bat.  I reminded her that people use the bathroom during the night sometimes.  <eye roll>

She was also very, very homesick.  She spent 6-8 hours on the phone every single day, talking to her parents or her best friend from  home.  I think she and her best friend were actually lovers.  One time she was being super secretive on the computer, glancing back at me every ten seconds to see if I could read her screen, etc.  She was *so* secretive about it that it drew my attention to what she was doing and I read a few words without intending to.   I thought it pretty funny that her attempts to be secretive were actually what gave away her secret.  (Her screen was positioned in a way that it was very easy for me to read and hard to avoid doing so if I glanced her way--which I wouldn't normally have had any reason to do, except that her odd behavior made me look at her to see what was going on.)

She and my other roommate (we were in a triple that semester) also really loved to watch the kind of talk shows in which people don't know who the father of their child is and need to have it revealed on television.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: Zerbinetta on August 29, 2015, 11:31:18 AM
My point is, I didn't realize I'd been doing it. If she'd just told me the first time it happened, I'd have fixed it. All it would have taken was a note on the inside of my door, reminding me to check the lock.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: Klein Bottle on August 29, 2015, 01:39:42 PM
My point is, I didn't realize I'd been doing it. If she'd just told me the first time it happened, I'd have fixed it. All it would have taken was a note on the inside of my door, reminding me to check the lock.

Yeah, while I am certain it was highly annoying and frustrating to your roommate, there were actions several steps short of removing the lock that should have been attempted. And I'm sure that you had no appreciation towards sharing a bathroom with some random boyfriend of hers.

Potential boyfriends is one reason I paid extra for a single room in college, the one year I lived in a dorm. That, and I need (or used to need) complete silence when I am studying or sleeping.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: EllenS on August 29, 2015, 02:52:38 PM
My point is, I didn't realize I'd been doing it. If she'd just told me the first time it happened, I'd have fixed it. All it would have taken was a note on the inside of my door, reminding me to check the lock.

Indeed. We all do things without realizing.  You can't correct something that you are completely unaware of.

I lucked out and had a pretty good RA my freshman year, but I've heard enough horror stories to realize that two years' difference in maturity is not always sufficient to be a real help to those navigating shared living situations for the first time.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: gramma dishes on August 29, 2015, 03:10:36 PM
I don't get why the RA didn't say something, even if the suitemate felt she couldn't.

That was wrong, I think, for the RA to just go along unlocking the bathroom door without saying anything to the OP, and then to remove the lock completely.

This is the kind of thing that college age kids should be able to work out all by their big girl selves.  It's astonishing that the locked out roommate never said anything to the OP, nor did the RA.  This should not have required outside intervention.

Another thing that puzzles me is why the RA didn't say anything about the boyfriend staying overnight if that was against the school's rules!
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: camlan on August 29, 2015, 03:34:10 PM
My point is, I didn't realize I'd been doing it. If she'd just told me the first time it happened, I'd have fixed it. All it would have taken was a note on the inside of my door, reminding me to check the lock.

Indeed. We all do things without realizing.  You can't correct something that you are completely unaware of.

This. I'm not saying the OP was right to lock her suitemate out of the bathroom, but to the OP, the situation went from "everything's fine," to "nuclear" in seconds, because she was never given a chance to fix her behavior.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: Seraphia on August 29, 2015, 03:42:48 PM
I don't get why the RA didn't say something, even if the suitemate felt she couldn't.

That was wrong, I think, for the RA to just go along unlocking the bathroom door without saying anything to the OP, and then to remove the lock completely.

This is the kind of thing that college age kids should be able to work out all by their big girl selves.  It's astonishing that the locked out roommate never said anything to the OP, nor did the RA.  This should not have required outside intervention.

Another thing that puzzles me is why the RA didn't say anything about the boyfriend staying overnight if that was against the school's rules!

This might be my projecting slightly, but I can absolutely see a situation where Roommate feels guilty for breaking the overnight visitors rule, interprets the accidental lockouts as intentional "punishments" from Zerbinetta or some sort of attempt by Z trying to get the RA to notice said visitor, and decides to escalate instead of just saying, "hey, please remember to unlock the door when you're done."

Nooo, I never had roommates who interpreted everything through the filter of their own insecurities, why do you ask? ;)
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: DollyPond on August 29, 2015, 06:53:13 PM
Öand now to return to roommate storiesÖ.

My first, last and only roommate ever was Jean (not Jane).  I was assigned to her when I lived in graduate student housing my first year of graduate school.  I moved in late August and she was supposed to get married in December.  Fine, I could put up with anything for 4 months.

Jean was bulimic.  I figured this out on my own before she told me.  Massive quantities of ice cream and cookies came into the room and disappeared but she was rail thin.  I never actually heard her purging but there was no way she was retaining that many calories and not gaining any weight.  She did eventually tell me and I figured it wasnít really any of my concern one-way or the other.

Once the RA came and told me that a faculty member had picked Jean up when she was out jogging at 3AM and brought her back to the dorm.  The RA berated me for not telling her that Jean was doing this at night.  My response was that I had no idea she was jogging at 3AM because: A) I was asleep, B) she slept in the living room not the bedroom and C) I was not responsible for the actions of an adult.

The best/worst incident was when she broke up with her fiancťe (an extremely nice guy named Ned).  One night she and Ned went out for a special dinner (an anniversary, I think).  I came home and she was laying on her bed with Ned sitting by her side.  Ned said that Jean was very ill and that she had thrown up her whole dinner shortly after eating it.  I expressed no surprise as that happened every night she was home.  Shortly after that she finally owned up to Ned that she had an eating disorder.  He was completely in the dark up until then!  She later joked that Ned thought she should receive psychological counseling and was miffed when I said that I agreed.  Her final decision to break up with Ned was because ďHeís not Christian enough for me.Ē  Ned dodged a bullet if you ask me.

She wound up staying until May when I finally moved out and got an apartment of my own.  No more roommates since then except for kitties.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: wheeitsme on August 29, 2015, 09:27:53 PM

Jean was bulimic.  I figured this out on my own before she told me.  Massive quantities of ice cream and cookies came into the room and disappeared but she was rail thin.  I never actually heard her purging but there was no way she was retaining that many calories and not gaining any weight. 


FYI:  That doesn't always mean bulimic.  I've known at least 3 people with such high metabolisms that they sometimes needed supplements.  I used to think that would be a great problem.  Then I realized how very high their grocery bills were, how much they had to shovel in, and the snarky comments they sometimes got.  I'll stick with my treadmill, thank you.  ;)
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: #borecore on August 29, 2015, 09:42:45 PM
Öand now to return to roommate storiesÖ.

My first, last and only roommate ever was Jean (not Jane).  I was assigned to her when I lived in graduate student housing my first year of graduate school.  I moved in late August and she was supposed to get married in December.  Fine, I could put up with anything for 4 months.

Jean was bulimic.  I figured this out on my own before she told me.  Massive quantities of ice cream and cookies came into the room and disappeared but she was rail thin.  I never actually heard her purging but there was no way she was retaining that many calories and not gaining any weight.  She did eventually tell me and I figured it wasnít really any of my concern one-way or the other.

Once the RA came and told me that a faculty member had picked Jean up when she was out jogging at 3AM and brought her back to the dorm.  The RA berated me for not telling her that Jean was doing this at night.  My response was that I had no idea she was jogging at 3AM because: A) I was asleep, B) she slept in the living room not the bedroom and C) I was not responsible for the actions of an adult.

The best/worst incident was when she broke up with her fiancťe (an extremely nice guy named Ned).  One night she and Ned went out for a special dinner (an anniversary, I think).  I came home and she was laying on her bed with Ned sitting by her side.  Ned said that Jean was very ill and that she had thrown up her whole dinner shortly after eating it.  I expressed no surprise as that happened every night she was home.  Shortly after that she finally owned up to Ned that she had an eating disorder.  He was completely in the dark up until then!  She later joked that Ned thought she should receive psychological counseling and was miffed when I said that I agreed.  Her final decision to break up with Ned was because ďHeís not Christian enough for me.Ē  Ned dodged a bullet if you ask me.

She wound up staying until May when I finally moved out and got an apartment of my own.  No more roommates since then except for kitties.

Wait, your roommate was a horror because she was suffering from a serious illness that barely affected you except one time when your RA got annoyed with you but you didn't suffer in any way? And her life was really upturned by it?

I'm really confused by this story.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: dietcokeofevil on August 29, 2015, 10:35:46 PM
 My Freshman year of college I had a roommate named Dana.  We got along ok,but she started dating a real jerk. I had Marching Band practice every day.  So I was getting back to our room about the same time everyday.  Yet every day I'd walk in on them.   Towards the end of the year Dana seemed a little cooler towards me.  Over the summer she broke up with her boyfriend that's when I found out he had been telling her that he was calling but I just wasn't passing on the message.  Luckily she realized that he had lied and we were together or sophomore year as well.

We did have a little bit of drama. So freshman year about 3weeks into the semester, One night about 11 o'clock Dana said she was going to try to get to bed early and was already in her pajamas. I had a friend call and want to borrow something so I left the room for 20 minutes.  Dana wasn't there when I returned, but I assumed she had gone down the hall to visit someone and just went to bed myself.  When I got up at six the next morning she still wasn't there and I was really worried.  There was only one other girl,Lori, awake at that time so I talked to her about it and she knew how concerned I was. She even suggested I call Dana's friend and check with her so I did and found out Dana had met some guy and no one knew where she was or anything.Everything turned out OK but I was really concerned. 

 Dana and Lori got to be good friends.  Sophomore year Lori moved into an apartment. One night she called me when Dana wasn't home and was acting all concerned about Dana going off with some guy- similar to what had happened our Freshman year.  Except by that time I was used to Dana doing her own thing and wasn't expecting her to come home that night.     I told Dana about it when she got home the next day.  Turns out she was over at Lori's and They just wanted to see if they could make me freak out again.   That whole incident changed my opinion on Dana and I was much more cautious around her in the future.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: Lady Snowdon on August 29, 2015, 11:00:14 PM
This is more of a housemate, rather than roommate situation, but it was still kind of hellish...

The first year after I graduated from college, I lived with a roommate, and things weren't fantastic, but they weren't terrible either.  After that lease ended, I was looking at different options, and saw an ad for a housemate.  Rent was $500 per month, which included electricity, Internet, water, cable, and use of the garage.  I met with the guy who owned the house, Kofi, and he explained that he traveled all the time for work, and so was looking for a housemate to offset some of the bills and give the house a more lived in feel.  I moved in, and all seemed well for a couple of weeks.   There were two other women living there that he'd never mentioned, so that was a little odd.  He never gave me access to the garage, which was annoying, but not terribly so.  I just parked on the street in front of the house.  He seemed kind of unhappy when I asked for his network password, but gave it to me.  Then he started giving me the hairy eyeball when I set foot outside my room, no matter what I was doing - making dinner, watching TV, etc.  He'd give me weird looks and ask what I was doing, why I needed to be there or just sit and watch me.  It was creepy and weird, and made me feel like I was in the wrong for being in public areas of the house!

After about two months of my living there, he told me that he'd noticed his electricity and water bills were really going up (yes, this is what happens when you go from one person living in the house for about a week out of every month to having three people living there full time!) and so he was going to have to start charging us for everything that was initially included in the rent.  Based on the numbers he gave me, I was going to end up paying $650 a month for a room!  I did some research and found out that studios were available for about $550 a month.  I gave him a full month's notice.  He freaked out on me, and tried to forbid me to use any of the common areas, since I was "betraying" him by moving out so soon after I'd moved in.  I have never been so grateful to move out of a situation! 

Living by myself in that studio was a bit of a financial squeeze, but totally worth it!
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: gramma dishes on August 30, 2015, 10:18:14 AM
...  Turns out she was over at Lori's and They just wanted to see if they could make me freak out again.   That whole incident changed my opinion on Dana and I was much more cautious around her in the future.

I think it might have also changed my opinion of Lori!
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: dietcokeofevil on August 30, 2015, 01:20:42 PM
...  Turns out she was over at Lori's and They just wanted to see if they could make me freak out again.   That whole incident changed my opinion on Dana and I was much more cautious around her in the future.

I think it might have also changed my opinion of Lori!

True. But Lori was just a girl that used to live in my dorm,   didn't really have much to do with her anyway.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: wordgirl on August 31, 2015, 10:31:05 AM
My one semester in college dorms went very similar to some others posted here - I was in a triple. One girl spent all her time at her boyfriend's. The other had the bunk below me .. and had absolutely no compunction entertaining her boyfriend ... while I was there. In the upper bunk. I'm not sure there was actually Scrabble going on, but there was much rearranging of tiles. It got to the point where I was basically using the room a few times a week as an emergency crash pad - other nights I'd drive home to my parent's (about an hour) or stay with a friend.

The coup de grace was when I came to the room one night around 10 p.m. and found - not her boyfriend - but her mother, stepfather (I think) and two small children.  The kids were asleep in my bunk. Roommate calmly explained that they were "just here for a week." A tense  meeting with an RA ensued, after which I decamped to my friend's apartment. The next day I came back and they were gone - along with random things of mine (nothing major - ranging from a saucepan to a hair scrunchie - and so truly random that it was clear it was petty revenge.)

Fortunately, things worked out OK. The friend with the apartment offered that I could crash there whenever needed, and let me keep some clothes and toiletries there. I gave her as much cash as I could spare and we had great fun cooking meals together and entertaining on a low-key, geeky basis. We both wished we could have gone in as roommates the next semester but there were complicated legal reasons why that wouldn't work. So for the most part, I was back to commuting from my parents' an hour away. :(

I've posted about my other abominable post-college housemates before. There was the one whose motto was "What's mine is mine and what's yours is ours and what's ours is actually mine, just so we're clear," and the woman who brought home three different guys to spend the night over the course of the first four weeks living with me - despite the fact that she'd solemnly vowed that there would be no overnight guests. (It was a tiny house with one bathroom.) Ah, fun times.


Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: djinnidjream on August 31, 2015, 12:39:35 PM
I was living with a male friend,Bob, and we needed a 3rd roommate so Bob recommended his friend Ted.  We ended up kicking him out because he never paid his rent and stole anything that wasn't nailed down. The fun part came after he moved out.

This was back in the day when bath gel was a new thing- you got the hanging bottle for your shower. Well, I got one and it disappeared.  I asked both guys about it, and Ted told me that he accidentally broke it so he threw it away.  Well... alright it happens...

When we kicked him out, Bob and I packed for him.  I found my soap container in his room.  Still half full.  We found some other things of ours as well- but that was the winner.

Later on, we found out that he got kicked out of his fraternity for having a party, charging a cover charge for liquor, not providing said liquor and having underage people at the frat house.  He's not even allowed to say he was ever a part of that fraternity.  Great guy....
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: TracyXJ on August 31, 2015, 02:47:15 PM
I lived on campus all 4 years of undergrad and 1 year of grad school, so I had a couple roommates.

Freshman year:  took a random roommate and it worked out pretty great.  My only complaint was that she would have her alarm at full volume, slept through it for about 5 minutes, then hit snooze.  Repeat about 5 times a morning.  Thankfully I usually had an early class, so I was usually gone before this routine started. 

Sophomore year:  roomed with the same girl from freshman year.  Only now we both had boyfriends and required the occasional bit of privacy, so she devised the hair tie on the doorknob (a little less obvious than a sock I guess).  One day I get a screaming phone call from her that she was so sick and tired of me always hogging the room and I was a terrible roommate.  Except I wasn't in the room.  And rarely was except to sleep at night because my boyfriend's roommate was rarely around (he lived near campus and went home for dinner often and every weekend).  Turns out she was leaving the hair tie on the door and never taking it off.  So she would see it there and assume I was in the room again when no one was.  Things were a bit chilly after that.  She moved off campus the next year and we might have said hi to each other once or twice on campus.

Junior year:  A new random roommate.  Very nice girl who was rarely in the room the first semester.  She stayed with her boyfriend or a friend about 28 nights out of the month.  So, got the place to myself which was great.  But apparently her grades started to sleep, so 2nd semester she was in the room unless she was in class or eating.  For about a week.  Then I come back to the room one day to see her rolling out a suitcase with the last of her things.  She officially moved out and I had the place to myself.  Loved it! 
At one point, a girl came by because she was having trouble with her roommates and was told I had a half empty room by the RA.  I will admit I shaded things a little - I have a boyfriend that I see all the time, I'm an early bird with 8am classes, I have people over often for studying or projects.  I didn't want to go back to sharing!

Senior year:  New random roommate.  I had always been in one of those suites with 2 people in 2 rooms that are connected through the bathroom.  Often people signed up in groups of 4.  This time I was put in with a group of 4 where one had had to drop out unexpectedly.  It was a little awkward being the odd one out, but by then I wasn't in the room much due to classes and study groups and work.  And she was good and quiet.  Except for the one time I came home early from work to find a toddler playing on my laptop.  Turns out she had been babysitting for a friend in our room.  It didn't bother me much except she hadn't warned me and I would have put some stuff away that he could have damaged or could have hurt him.

Grad school:  On campus apartment with 2 bedrooms for 4 people.  But you also got a living room, kitchen, and full bathroom.  And we had the RA in our apartment, so we only had 3 people (RA's get their own rooms).  And my roommate graduated mid year, so it was only the 2 of us for a semester!  Awesome! 
The only annoyance was the RA.  She never did the dishes!  Both sinks would be piled full and the counters around them (apparently all 3 of us brought a full set of dishes).  Eventually roomie and I did them, but it got really annoying.  She cleaned up her act (please don't hurt me!) the next semester when I guess she realized that the mysteriously clean dishes could only have been done by one person. 

So, I've been lucky in never having a roommate that made me curse their existence. 
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: Celany on September 15, 2015, 04:45:32 PM
I've had a couple of not-great roommates, but I have one that really takes the cake - a woman I met in college, named Red.

When I spent time with Red in college, she was great. Super-cool, really fun, awesome to be around.

When I went to NYC to interview for an internship, she invited me to stay with her. Again, we had a fabulous time.

When the internship turned into a freelance job (the guy I interned under liked me so much and raved about my ability so often that his wife hired me as an assistant in the company she worked for), Red said "let's live together". At this point, I'd known her for a couple of years, and she was always awesome, so I figured "why not?"

Turns out, she had some serious mental problems which I STILL don't understand (as someone with my own bipolar issues, her issues were confounding to me.).

The first weird thing to start happening was that during the week, she'd mention all kinds of cool things happening over the following weekend and how we should do them. As in, we'd make concrete plans to go to X comedy show and get dinner at Y place and then go to Z place for dancing. But she disappeared every weekend, and if I actually emailed her asking what was up, she would flip out and tell me that I was making her uncomfortable and pressuring her and to respect her privacy and desire for her own life and leave her alone. I never initiated the "let's go do stuff" thing, so it was really confusing to me where this was coming from, since it was her idea to hang out and do stuff on the weekends.

Then, we got into a fight because of a particular male friend of hers. See, the apartment we lived in was a 1 bedroom. She had the bedroom (and paid more rent). I slept in the living room, which also had a little strip of a kitchen in it. When a male friend of hers decided to sleep over one night, she didn't tell me, she just invited him to sleep on the 2nd couch (we had 2 couches pushed together in an L shape. One of them was what I used for a bed). Needless to say, when I woke up a few hours later to go to the bathroom (wearing only underwear and a tank top to bed, as was my usual MO), I was super-unhappy to find a guy I'd never met before sleeping at a 90 degree angle to me. When I brought up with her how not-cool that was, her response was "Well, he's part of <very observant religious group>, so nothing was ever going to happen".   :o >:(

After that fight, she slowly stopped talking to me. When she was home, she spent nearly all her time in the bedroom, playing video games. A few weeks later, I asked her if my male college friend could stay a long weekend with us. I'd planned a whole speech: I knew him since my freshman year. He was a great guy. He'd sleep in the living room with me. He'd never be alone in the apartment in case that bothered her. When I tried to talk to her about it, her response (after I said something like "Hey, I wanted to talk to you about my friend Rob from college staying for a weekend...") was "do whatever you want, just leave me alone I'm playing WoW and I need to concentrate. And shut the door on your way out." So I did. And I invited him to come for the weekend.

Rob came the next weekend. Red freaked out. She packed up her computer and some clothes, left the day she showed up, and sent me a nasty email about how unsafe she felt with Rob there. Mind you, she spent about a minute in his presence before running off, and I had asked her about him. Or rather, I tried. I wasn't sure what to do when she basically said "do what you want, I don't care, just leave me alone". I'm pretty sure her freak-out was to get even with me for being upset that she had her friend sleep in the same room as me without asking my permission. Which, as far as I'm concerned, I think are two really different things.

At this point, Red decided to move out and saddle me with the rent. When she moved out, she didn't move out all her stuff. Among the things she left behind were a bag of garbage and a bag of not-garbage. I couldn't tell which was which, as both had some clothes, pens/pencils/papers, various ephemera. But neither bag smelled, so I figured I'd keep them both in there for when she finished moving the following weekend.

She didn't finish moving the following weekend. After six months of emailing her once or twice a month to remind her of her stuff left behind, I sent her a "you have two weeks to move your stuff out or I'm pitching it" email. In part because those garbage bags had started to come apart, and I discovered which was the one with garbage in it when a used feminine product because stuck to my hand (the side with the sticky tape) when I was transferring the things into it to a new bag.

She threw a fit at my email, because she had finals in two weeks and needed every single spare moment to study. It wasn't faaaaaaaaair to make her move her stuff at this time within the next two weeks! She needed at least a month! At this point, I grew a polite spine and pointed out to her that she'd had six months in which she'd been aware she needed to get her stuff. If my running out of patience coincided with her finals...tough noogies.

The day after the two weeks was up, she showed up drunk, screaming obscenities at my window. I called 911. 911 responded remarkably quickly (they must have been having a quiet night), and did a great job of being hard of her and telling her that if she showed up like that again, they'd arrest her. When she sent me a nasty email the next day, I told her I was keeping it in my file, in case I needed to file a restraining order against her. Because she did computer work (the schooling she was doing was for a masters) for some kind of security-intensive company, anything reported to the police would have really messed up her career. After that, she left me alone directly, but bad-mouthed me to all and sundry for a years.

Then, I got an email from her a few years ago. She said she'd undergone a lot of therapy and that she was much better. She didn't want to have any kind of relationship with me, but wanted me to know that she realized that her behavior towards me had been really wrong, and that she was sorry. She was reaching out because we did still have some friends in common (more my friends are friends with her friends, than actual friends in common, but close enough that we had seen each other at parties) and she wanted me to know that she wasn't bad mouthing me anymore, and that she could definitely do a civil "hello, how are you?" every once in a while (I'd been giving her the Cut Direct at the occasional party I saw her at over the years).

In the end, a reasonable ending, which was nice. But man, my blood still boils when I remember getting that pad stuck to my hand.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: ladyknight1 on September 16, 2015, 07:16:22 AM
All sorts of wrong in that situation, glad you weren't hurt and that nothing more drastic happened.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: Klein Bottle on September 16, 2015, 02:49:24 PM
Celany, I also had a room mate for awhile whom I suspect had undiagnosed mental disorders. Different actions, different types of behavior, but the same result of keeping me off balance. I was very young and spineless back then, and just eventually wound up leaving one day as she slept off yet another all day hangover.

This person was someone I, too, had met through mutual friends, and I found her intelligent and interesting. She was an older, non-traditional student, divorced, and had two kids who lived with their dad. She had married a second time, to a foreign man who had since moved hundreds of miles away, and it was evident to all except her that she'd been used for residency. I felt bad for her, and used to listen as she would sit there and drink and wallow in her tears, pining for the estranged husband or this or that former boyfriend. She was in her early thirties, yet behaved like a stereotypical middle school girl, with crushes on boys. It didn't take me long to realize we had differing value systems, but, that's not insurmountable.

What was, was that her moods could change in an instant. What was tolerable to her one day was completely unacceptable the next. It could be scary. She was a clean freak, but nothing I ever did in cleaning the apartment was ever good enough; it was like she needed something to feel superior to me about. She would do things like go in and clean my bedroom (!!!) when I was in class. I never, ever went in her room. If I did anything she didn't like or approve of, I would be accused of "desecrating her and Estranged Husband's home!!!!!!!!1eleventy"  She owned this crappy vacuum that didn't really work; she'd run it every day, or leave instructions for me to do so, and then, we'd have to get on our hands and knees and pick up whatever the vacuum hadn't, which was everything, because, vacuum didn't work. ::)

I got sick of the vacuum situation, and wanted to surprise her by doing something nice, so I borrowed a Kirby from a friend, and just went to town with it. I did the living room, my room, landing, stairs, and left it so she could vacuum her bedroom. When she got home, she threw a fit anyway, because I had been too "lazy" to do her room, and anyway, she had actually wanted me to clean the bathroom, take out the trash, and do the baseboards, or whatever. Well, it wasn't a normal reaction.

She would invite these sketchy guys she knew to come over and drink. She proclaimed to have strict morals, but often, these guys would stay over in her room after they all got drunk and passed out, yet, if my boyfriend stayed over with me, I was "cheapening myself." She was mean and rude, yet was critical of my etiquette. She would rudely correct other's grammar in the midst of conversation. She had absolutely no money, and I found out months later that she hadn't been paying our rent, but the landlords were compassionate, and had rented that apartment to her estranged husband for years, so she stayed there a good six months after I left.

There is so much more, but the final showdown came after a night when we'd both had too much to drink. She got nasty, and I decided I had enough. I packed and left the next afternoon. (I was not on any lease, and it was her apartment, so no legality involved.)

Shockingly, we made up, and we're friends on and off for another twenty years. When she was nice, there was nobody I enjoyed more, and we saw each other through some tough times. However, I was never sure which version I would be talking to on any given day, and I realized that I felt exhausted after an afternoon with her. Friends are supposed to energize you, not suck the very oxygen from the air. I ghosted on her when my son was a preschooler, and I don't miss her.
Title: Re: Roommate Hell.....
Post by: Celany on September 17, 2015, 10:45:50 AM
Wow, KB, that is intense.

My mom used to have some cleaning behaviors like that, which is interesting, since she's a hoarder. I think that for my mom, part of it is that she couldn't imagine a relationship that functioned without both people needing each other. If she was always telling me that I never cleaned my home well enough, and that she needed to do it for me, then she was creating a need that could only be filled by her. I wonder if your friend had that similar thought in her - if there wasn't something that she was better at/that you needed her for, you two couldn't be friends.

Or maybe she was just a control freak. Who knows?

But I'm glad you moved out of there - that's nuts! I'd have packed up and gotten out fast too!