Etiquette Hell

A Civil World. Off-topic discussions on a variety of topics. Guests, register for forum membership to see all the boards. => Time For a Coffee Break! => Topic started by: Venus193 on April 08, 2014, 03:29:13 PM

Title: S/O re Asking About Age
Post by: Venus193 on April 08, 2014, 03:29:13 PM
Is it rude to call people out if they passive/aggressively tease you about your age?  Here was the situation:

I was at a board games meetup last week (new group) and we were playing "Say Anything."  When it was my turn to ask the question I chose this "In my opinion, what is the song most likely to pack a dance floor?"  All the others tittered when they submitted the following:

"The Twist"
"The Hustle"
"The Macarena"
"YMCA"
"Thriller"
"Bad"

I concealed my annoyance and answered "My opinion isn't based on what I'd want to see pack a dance floor, but on what I think will, so..." then rejected each one at a time until announcing that it was  XXX.

I know I was the oldest person in the game at that point, but I don't appreciate the reminder.  What could I have done so this doesn't happen again?
Title: Re: S/O re Asking About Age
Post by: alkira6 on April 08, 2014, 04:05:54 PM
I kind of think you might be a little over sensitive on this one.  All of those are songs that are still played at just about every teen dance that I have chaperoned in the past decade, so it's not about age.  I would have laughed too at submitting any one of those just from the memories of some of the ridiculous dances people do when they come on. 

You've never seen anything funnier that a bunch of 12-14 year olds who have been holding up the walls all evening rush on the floor to do a completely uncoordinated hustle or dance to "Thriller".
Title: Re: S/O re Asking About Age
Post by: kudeebee on April 08, 2014, 09:25:09 PM
I'm not sure why you are annoyed.  All of those songs do fill the dance floors when I have been at events.  Out of curiosity, what song did you pick?
Title: Re: S/O re Asking About Age
Post by: Harriet Jones on April 08, 2014, 09:33:56 PM
I'm not sure why you are annoyed.  All of those songs do fill the dance floors when I have been at events.  Out of curiosity, what song did you pick?

That's been my experience, too.
Title: Re: S/O re Asking About Age
Post by: Venus193 on April 08, 2014, 09:34:49 PM
I picked "YMCA" because everyone likes to make fun of it.

Trust me, if the question had been which song I would have wished would fill a dance floor, I would have chosen "La Cumparsita."
Title: Re: S/O re Asking About Age
Post by: #borecore on April 08, 2014, 10:12:34 PM
I'm not sure why you are annoyed.  All of those songs do fill the dance floors when I have been at events.  Out of curiosity, what song did you pick?

That's been my experience, too.

I don't specifically recall people coming to dance to "Bad," but none of these options would strike me as passive-aggressive digs at your age!
Title: Re: S/O re Asking About Age
Post by: Deetee on April 08, 2014, 10:40:37 PM
I think you need to explain what they did that was insulting because I don't understand. All those songs are popular songs that people love to dance to. They are songs where people leave the edges of the room and go dance so those all seem like good guesses to me.
Title: Re: S/O re Asking About Age
Post by: StarFaerie on April 08, 2014, 10:43:43 PM
I kind of think you might be a little over sensitive on this one.  All of those are songs that are still played at just about every teen dance that I have chaperoned in the past decade, so it's not about age.  I would have laughed too at submitting any one of those just from the memories of some of the ridiculous dances people do when they come on. 

You've never seen anything funnier that a bunch of 12-14 year olds who have been holding up the walls all evening rush on the floor to do a completely uncoordinated hustle or dance to "Thriller".

Yup. I had to drop into DS's (he's in year 10) school the other night to pick him up from a games tournament that was held at the same time as the year 8 disco (12-13 year olds). I walked past the school hall to see all the kids dancing away to "Blame it on the Boogie" complete with the time honoured hand and body movements. Hilarious. Something new then started playing and the dance floor became much less populated and I moved on to the games room to pick up my nerd from his MtG night.
Title: Re: S/O re Asking About Age
Post by: MariaE on April 08, 2014, 11:38:06 PM
What makes you think they weren't just honest suggestions? "Thriller", "YMCA" and "The Macarena" would all have been on my list as well. I think you took offence where none was intended.
Title: Re: S/O re Asking About Age
Post by: TurtleDove on April 09, 2014, 03:14:55 AM
I have absolutely no idea how any of these suggestions are tied to anyone's age at all, and certainly not a dig at the OP's age!
Title: Re: S/O re Asking About Age
Post by: CakeEater on April 09, 2014, 06:38:53 AM
All of those songs came out at vastly different times as well. I don't know the Hustle, but most of the others all came out in different decades.
Title: Re: S/O re Asking About Age
Post by: Harriet Jones on April 09, 2014, 06:42:22 AM
And there are lots of other "old" songs that still get played to get people to dance, like the Chicken Dance, which wikipedia says is from the 1950s.
Title: Re: S/O re Asking About Age
Post by: TootsNYC on April 09, 2014, 06:48:34 AM
I have absolutely no idea how any of these suggestions are tied to anyone's age at all, and certainly not a dig at the OP's age!

That's why I think.

And considering that it's a guessing game, I'm not sure why you were annoyed that they were guessing.

"The Macarana" was not that long ago. OK, it wasn't last year; it was during the presidential election when Clinton was running for re-election (I remember bcs of Al Gore's version, which was very funny).

I'll also say this: I don't think there *are* very many "of the moment" songs that fill up the dance floor.

(Why isn't "Old Time Rock 'n' Roll" on that list?)
Title: Re: S/O re Asking About Age
Post by: Venus193 on April 09, 2014, 06:52:21 AM
This may sound bizarre, but I've never seen anyone do the Chicken Dance.  I guess that means homework on YouTube.

The Hustle is from the late 70s and was the basis for Disco.  Not nuts about that song; I personally prefer "Disco Inferno."

Stopping to answer Toots:  We were down to 6 players and I think the game allows for 8.

So I guess I don't attend enough weddings to get what you guys are telling me.
Title: Re: S/O re Asking About Age
Post by: shhh its me on April 09, 2014, 07:07:59 AM
  I've heard a 16 year old sign The Macarena and the YMCA in the last 4 months.  They still sometimes play the Hustle at weddings , my cousin 12 years younger then me played it (and the Hustle was old when I was in grade school) and the other cousin and brother in law played  "Shout" , none of the HCs were born when it came out.

I can't give you list of songs but I know Glee has brought a lot of songs back.

Title: Re: S/O re Asking About Age
Post by: cross_patch on April 09, 2014, 07:34:16 AM
This may sound bizarre, but I've never seen anyone do the Chicken Dance.  I guess that means homework on YouTube.

The Hustle is from the late 70s and was the basis for Disco.  Not nuts about that song; I personally prefer "Disco Inferno."

Stopping to answer Toots:  We were down to 6 players and I think the game allows for 8.

So I guess I don't attend enough weddings to get what you guys are telling me.

Hmm, I still don't get what makes then insulting. I don't think they are wedding songs- I've inly been to two weddings, neither of which played any of those but I'm still familiar with them. They're called floor fillers for a reason- I think they've been played at every party I've been to where there's a dance floor!
Title: Re: S/O re Asking About Age
Post by: gollymolly2 on April 09, 2014, 07:36:37 AM
It seems like many of us are struggling to understand what exactly bothered you about their responses. Maybe it would help if you gave us examples of answers they could have given that would not have bothered you.
Title: Re: S/O re Asking About Age
Post by: TootsNYC on April 09, 2014, 07:41:57 AM

Stopping to answer Toots:  We were down to 6 players and I think the game allows for 8.


I'm sorry--this isn't tracking for me. Maybe it's just too early in the a.m.
Which question is this answering, and how?

The "Old Time Rock 'n' Roll" question? That was a rhetorical question--but (joking comment here--not a real criticism in any way), someone could have left out one of the other songs to get that one in!
Title: Re: S/O re Asking About Age
Post by: LadyClaire on April 09, 2014, 07:51:23 AM
I'm really not seeing the reason for your annoyance. I'm in my early 30s and I can see my friends answering the question in the same way. Well, with perhaps the addition of "Electric Slide". When my brother-in-law got married a few years ago, both Macarena and YMCA were played at the wedding. Heck, my BIL and all of the groomsmen dressed up like Village People (my husband was the construction worker) and danced to YMCA.

Macarena is from the 90s. Bad is from the 80s. YMCA is from the 70s. None of those really imply someone is "old".
Title: Re: S/O re Asking About Age
Post by: Venus193 on April 09, 2014, 08:01:10 AM
Toots, it was the "Old Time Rock and Roll" question.

Just checked Youtube and I have seen the Chicken Dance, but didn't know what it was.

Quote
When my brother-in-law got married a few years ago, both Macarena and YMCA were played at the wedding. Heck, my BIL and all of the groomsmen dressed up like Village People (my husband was the construction worker) and danced to YMCA.

That sounds hilarious.
Title: Re: S/O re Asking About Age
Post by: ladyknight1 on April 09, 2014, 08:01:54 AM
The only ones I see missing are "The Electric Slide" and the "Cha Cha Slide".
Title: Re: S/O re Asking About Age
Post by: Yvaine on April 09, 2014, 08:10:07 AM
Count me among the confused. Those songs do pack a floor and range a number of decades. I'm not really sure what's supposed to be the dig. Is it that they listed old songs, or that they listed new songs, or...??

If it's that they laughed, I imagine they were laughing at the memory of dancing to those songs and having fun, or laughing because some of those songs are considered "guilty pleasure" songs.
Title: Re: S/O re Asking About Age
Post by: Harriet Jones on April 09, 2014, 08:14:03 AM
The only ones I see missing are "The Electric Slide" and the "Cha Cha Slide".

I have also seen Cotton Eyed Joe as a group line dance at a lot of school events in the last few years.  That song originated over 100 years ago (the covers are more recent, though ;))
Title: Re: S/O re Asking About Age
Post by: Outdoor Girl on April 09, 2014, 08:20:28 AM
My neck of the woods, one of the offerings would very likely have been 'Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy'.  Of course, that only gets the women up on the dance floor...

 ;D

Add me to the chorus that I don't think they were being ageist.  I think those were genuine contributions, although 'Bad' would not have made my list.
Title: Re: S/O re Asking About Age
Post by: Two Ravens on April 09, 2014, 08:20:37 AM
The only ones I see missing are "The Electric Slide" and the "Cha Cha Slide".

I have also seen Cotton Eyed Joe as a group line dance at a lot of school events in the last few years.  That song originated over 100 years ago (the covers are more recent, though ;))

There is also the "Cha Cha Slide" and "American Pie."
Title: Re: S/O re Asking About Age
Post by: Sakuko on April 09, 2014, 08:33:19 AM
I was under the impression that the whole point of Say Anything is to tease people with your answers. >:D

That said, I also don't see anything that spells passive aggression in any of the answers. I'm 30 and I'd call the Macarena from "my" time, and I'm certainly not old yet.
Title: Re: S/O re Asking About Age
Post by: stargazer on April 09, 2014, 09:15:49 AM

So I guess I don't attend enough weddings to get what you guys are telling me.

These aren't wedding songs.  They were played at every college party I went to and practically any club I've been to after.  These are the songs that get people out on the dance floor along with a few others like Electric Slide - the tango isn't really going to get people out there.  We are just confused as to why you possibly thought this was a slam on your age.
Title: Re: S/O re Asking About Age
Post by: LadyClaire on April 09, 2014, 09:19:55 AM

So I guess I don't attend enough weddings to get what you guys are telling me.

These aren't wedding songs.  They were played at every college party I went to and practically any club I've been to after.  These are the songs that get people out on the dance floor along with a few others like Electric Slide - the tango isn't really going to get people out there.  We are just confused as to why you possibly thought this was a slam on your age.

Yeah, we have a work gala every year. Full blown formal gala with evening gowns and fancy food. They play pretty much the same music you'd hear at clubs, weddings, and parties. The Chancellor of the university had originally wanted it to be classical music or music like Frank Sinatra, but the planning committee told him that hardly anyone would want to dance to that music even if we were all in tuxes and evening gowns.
Title: Re: S/O re Asking About Age
Post by: baglady on April 09, 2014, 09:21:22 AM
I don't understand how this could be interpreted as teasing you about your age. (For the record, I don't even know how old you are.)

I'm guessing they answered from their own experiences -- those are the songs that they've seen get people dancing. You don't have to have been alive when "YMCA" or the "Chicken Dance" came out to know how much people enjoy dancing to it.

They get played at weddings a lot because that's where you're likely to have the combination of a dance floor and a multigenerational crowd. But they aren't "wedding songs." They're dance-floor faves, is all.

(Personally I'd pick "Celebration" by Kool and the Gang.)
Title: Re: S/O re Asking About Age
Post by: Venus193 on April 09, 2014, 09:22:18 AM
"The Twist" was from about 1962; I don't remember whether it was even used in National Lampoon's Animal House, which takes place during that year.  Of course, the movie came out in 1978 and people still think it's funny.

OK; now I have to watch it.
Title: Re: S/O re Asking About Age
Post by: Thipu1 on April 09, 2014, 09:31:21 AM
I've only seen the Chicken Dance once and it was at a Wedding in Minnesota.

All the others mentioned are standard for Sail Away parties on ships.  Believe me, when two ships are gearing up to sail, the battle between the Macarena and YMCA can be something to behold. 

Title: Re: S/O re Asking About Age
Post by: Goosey on April 09, 2014, 09:42:15 AM
I think if your experience is limited to parties where the tango is danced, you should be careful about jumping to offense at the more common experiences of others. These dances span decades and are still alive and well today. Your friends were naming dances that would get them dancing.

How this was a strike at your age is still a mystery. Was it because older songs were included? Then what would they be saying if they wrote "Tango" - I assume that's much older? Or was the offense that these were not songs you would expect played at parties you attend? Still - how is that about age?

ETA: We actually had to request that the Chicken Dance NOT be played at our wedding - it's that common!
Title: Re: S/O re Asking About Age
Post by: LadyClaire on April 09, 2014, 09:43:34 AM
I think if your experience is limited to parties where the tango is danced, you should be careful about jumping to offense at the more common experiences of others. These dances span decades and are still alive and well today. Your friends were naming dances that would get them dancing.

How this was a strike at your age is still a mystery. Was it because older songs were included? Then what would they be saying if they wrote "Tango" - I assume that's much older? Or was the offense that these were not songs you would expect played at parties you attend? Still - how is that about age?

yeah..La Cumparsita was written in 1916. So it's older by far than any of the songs mentioned.
Title: Re: S/O re Asking About Age
Post by: LadyClaire on April 09, 2014, 09:44:07 AM
the Chicken Dance was done at a friend's wedding. Complete with a guy in a chicken suit.
Title: Re: S/O re Asking About Age
Post by: Yvaine on April 09, 2014, 09:47:26 AM
I think if your experience is limited to parties where the tango is danced, you should be careful about jumping to offense at the more common experiences of others. These dances span decades and are still alive and well today. Your friends were naming dances that would get them dancing.

How this was a strike at your age is still a mystery. Was it because older songs were included? Then what would they be saying if they wrote "Tango" - I assume that's much older? Or was the offense that these were not songs you would expect played at parties you attend? Still - how is that about age?

ETA: We actually had to request that the Chicken Dance NOT be played at our wedding - it's that common!

Ha, yeah, I'm eternally sick of that song due to a store where I worked that had musical greeting cards. One of them played the Chicken Dance and customers played with it all.the.time.
Title: Re: S/O re Asking About Age
Post by: jaxsue on April 09, 2014, 11:07:37 AM
Count me as being confused as to the age-related thing, too. I'm 52 - there, I said it!  :) I hear songs from the '40s to the present at parties and weddings. We all dance to them. In my case, badly.  :P
Title: Re: S/O re Asking About Age
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on April 09, 2014, 11:19:02 AM
"The Twist" was from about 1962; I don't remember whether it was even used in National Lampoon's Animal House, which takes place during that year.  Of course, the movie came out in 1978 and people still think it's funny.

OK; now I have to watch it.

I know the Beatles version was also in Ferris Beuller's Day Off, so in case anyone missed it up till that point it brought it up again for the kids of the 80's. :)

I also remember "YMCA" and "Electric Slide" being played at the roller rink as a teen. (90's)
Title: Re: S/O re Asking About Age
Post by: judecat on April 15, 2014, 11:35:27 PM
The last party I went to that actually played "YMCA" was my father in law's 80th birthday party,  and it was not the song that packed the dance floor.   Actually the only people who danced to it where the older people. 
Electric slide is the one that packed that dance floor.


On the other hand,  the last work related affair I attended,  the twist was the one that had everyone up and moving.