Etiquette Hell

Hostesses With The Mostest => Entertaining and Hospitality => Topic started by: snugasabug on May 04, 2014, 07:48:18 PM

Title: The old bait and switch...
Post by: snugasabug on May 04, 2014, 07:48:18 PM
We were invited to a milestone birthday for my Uncle...haven't seen him in years.      Cousin sent out the invite 2 months ahead of time (via Facebook....save the date, want to have a surprise bday party for my Dad's 65th birthday....) 

The invited stated they want everyone to sleepover and to have a great time.  We had lots of notice...booked time off work...we live about a 4hr drive away from uncle's house.  When our time off work was confirmed, we RSVP'd yes to the party. 

3 weeks before the invite, Cousin emailed asking (demanding?) 'Everyone in your family needs to bring enough food for 20-25 people.   We are serving burgers and hotdogs and that's it.  Bring any drinks that your family would want because we won't have any here for anyone except for ourselves. Bring a tent to sleep in because the house sleeping spots are taken. My dad would really like cash or booze or lottery tickets for a present."

I emailed back to clarify that she was asking us to bring potluck food to feed 25 people, plus drinks for my own family (husband and 2 children) and a gift for her dad and a tent to sleep in.

I guess all I can do is swallow hard, show up and stay for as long as we can tolerate?  I didn't anticipate this twist at all...but then again, I don't know this cousin and uncle very well.  Any suggestions? Do you think we should just go ahead and follow her requests and file this away to remember for next time?  Or can you see any way that we can decline going?
Title: Re: The old bait and switch...
Post by: JenJay on May 04, 2014, 07:55:06 PM
Heck yes you can decline, and tell her why! "I'm sorry, when I accepted I didn't realize you'd need me to provide food for 25 people. I'm afraid that with time off work, travel expenses, etc. that's out of the budget. I hope you all have a wonderful time!" Then send him a card, lotto tickets optional.
Title: Re: The old bait and switch...
Post by: purple on May 04, 2014, 07:55:20 PM
Ew.

Yes, you can always decline and you don't need to give a reason.  The thing is, now it would probably be pretty obvious why you are declining and cousin could be offended.  That is a call for you to make, whether it bothers you that that part of your family may be offended.

If you really want to see this Uncle, then I think you should just suck it up and go.
Title: Re: The old bait and switch...
Post by: Venus193 on May 04, 2014, 08:18:03 PM
Heck yes you can decline, and tell her why! "I'm sorry, when I accepted I didn't realize you'd need me to provide food for 25 people. I'm afraid that with time off work, travel expenses, etc. that's out of the budget. I hope you all have a wonderful time!" Then send him a card, lotto tickets optional.

Ditto.  It is monumentally rude to bait and switch like this.
Title: Re: The old bait and switch...
Post by: EllenS on May 04, 2014, 08:36:39 PM
"I'm so sorry, it looks like we won't be able to make it after all."

You were invited to a party and sleepover at your cousin's house, which you accepted.

This is a potluck camping trip. A different event entirely, and one which you never accepted an invitation to.
Title: Re: The old bait and switch...
Post by: Mergatroyd on May 04, 2014, 08:47:34 PM
I'm not surprised about the tent. Very few people have enough space in their homes to host a large party and have everyone sleepover. This is where I would make sure there was a taxi, and book a hotel room.
Of course, I'd also show up with six bags of chips, a couple bags of butter rolls, and a lotto ticket for the birthday guy.
If I went at all. It would depend on if there was other things to go see while I was there, then it would be a vacation with a brief family event thrown in, as opposed to a potlatch camping trip where I supply food, someone else disappears with my drinks, and I end up cleaning up/babysitting the next day.
It's not too late to have unavoidable circumstances (like sleeping in a tent in the backyard) make it so unfortunately not possible to attend, OP.
Title: Re: The old bait and switch...
Post by: miranova on May 04, 2014, 10:35:42 PM
Um, no.  I would be sending my regrets to this one immediately, and I would not be concerned with the fact that I had already RSVP'd.  Anyone who makes demands for food for 25 and tells people "bring a tent" isn't exactly an etiquette maven and I wouldn't be overly concerned that they'd revoke my etiquette card.
Title: Re: The old bait and switch...
Post by: Amara on May 04, 2014, 10:53:05 PM
Decline, and then if you can't rescind your vacation time plan something really great for that time for you and your family.
Title: Re: The old bait and switch...
Post by: Library Dragon on May 04, 2014, 10:55:51 PM
I'm not surprised about the tent. Very few people have enough space in their homes to host a large party and have everyone sleepover. This is where I would make sure there was a taxi, and book a hotel room.
Of course, I'd also show up with six bags of chips, a couple bags of butter rolls, and a lotto ticket for the birthday guy.
If I went at all. It would depend on if there was other things to go see while I was there, then it would be a vacation with a brief family event thrown in, as opposed to a potlatch camping trip where I supply food, someone else disappears with my drinks, and I end up cleaning up/babysitting the next day.
It's not too late to have unavoidable circumstances (like sleeping in a tent in the backyard) make it so unfortunately not possible to attend, OP.

POD. I don't camp, but wouldn't expect someone to have room for everyone.  As for the food, my immediate thought was rice and lentil salad.  Inexpensive to make.  Of course the question is, does cousin have room to refrigerate all this food? I would keep a close eye on my drinks.  Yeah, I'd label them, because I'd play the game of everyone being responsible for their own.

If this is something you want to go to for other family members or local attraction go and enjoy. If not you have time to back out.
Title: Re: The old bait and switch...
Post by: sammycat on May 04, 2014, 10:58:35 PM
Um, no.  I would be sending my regrets to this one immediately, and I would not be concerned with the fact that I had already RSVP'd.  Anyone who makes demands for food for 25 and tells people "bring a tent" isn't exactly an etiquette maven and I wouldn't be overly concerned that they'd revoke my etiquette card.

POD. My DH and boys enjoy camping. I most definitely do not, and wouldn't attend this party for that alone, let alone suddenly being told to bring a dish. I'm usually happy to bring a dish if it's mentioned as part of the original invitation, but the whole attitude of these people just ticks me off.
Title: Re: The old bait and switch...
Post by: cicero on May 05, 2014, 01:33:06 AM
I'm not surprised about the tent. Very few people have enough space in their homes to host a large party and have everyone sleepover. This is where I would make sure there was a taxi, and book a hotel room.
Of course, I'd also show up with six bags of chips, a couple bags of butter rolls, and a lotto ticket for the birthday guy.
If I went at all. It would depend on if there was other things to go see while I was there, then it would be a vacation with a brief family event thrown in, as opposed to a potlatch camping trip where I supply food, someone else disappears with my drinks, and I end up cleaning up/babysitting the next day.
It's not too late to have unavoidable circumstances (like sleeping in a tent in the backyard) make it so unfortunately not possible to attend, OP.
well obviously this is a "know your family" issue - but i have never been invited to sleep over someone's house and then sent out to sleep in their backyard. If they don't have room - then they shouldn't invite sleepover guests, or they should make it clear in their invite that this will be a bring your own tent deal. I've slept in people's guests' rooms, or their kids' rooms (and the kids bunked with siblings) or in a nearby hotel.

To the OP - you can certainly un RSVP if you don't want to go.
Title: Re: The old bait and switch...
Post by: sammycat on May 05, 2014, 03:23:24 AM
well obviously this is a "know your family" issue - but i have never been invited to sleep over someone's house and then sent out to sleep in their backyard. If they don't have room - then they shouldn't invite sleepover guests, or they should make it clear in their invite that this will be a bring your own tent deal. I've slept in people's guests' rooms, or their kids' rooms (and the kids bunked with siblings) or in a nearby hotel.

To the OP - you can certainly un RSVP if you don't want to go.
[/quote]

Definitely. I don't mind bunking in with other family members if necessary (it can actually be a lot of fun), but sleeping in a tent in the backyard instead? No thanks.  At the very least, not everyone has camping equipment and/or means of transporting it.

If the hosts of this shindig had been honest at the forefront that would've given people the chance to decline immediately, rather than after they'd gone to the trouble of organising time off, travel etc, and possibly putting them out in terms of money and eating into annual leave that could've been saved for another time.

It sounds like the kids want to get credit for throwing their dad a party without actually doing any work for it.
Title: Re: The old bait and switch...
Post by: Corvid on May 05, 2014, 05:28:39 AM
Just out of curiosity, does "everyone in your family needs to bring food" mean that you are expected to bring several potluck dishes for 20-25 people?

I would not swallow hard and go, I would tell them sorry, I won't be coming after all.  Too bad if they don't like it, but you don't tell people they're going to have to sleep in a tent (let alone that they have to bring a tent) after an invitation to sleep over is accepted, that's something that needs to be brought up first when the invitation is issued.  Same for the food.  Inviting someone to a potluck is fine, telling someone after they've accepted your invitation to a meal that it's a potluck isn't.

My guess is that they found the party and accommodations more expensive and difficult than they initially expected and this is their solution.
Title: Re: The old bait and switch...
Post by: Carotte on May 05, 2014, 06:47:45 AM
There's something I have even more trouble understanding than the bait and switch.
Is OP's family the only one to have to bring food for 25 people? Why her? If I'm expected to provide food I should at least get accommodations!

Are more families expected to bring food? How much are they planning on? :o, enough leftovers to feed them for 3 months?
Because with their logic you either get 8 families (more or less 25 people) bringing food for (8x25=) 200 people, or 2 families bringing food for 50, leaving 6 families who brings nothing. Or one family (OP) to bring for everyone.
Either way the math doesn't add up.
Title: Re: The old bait and switch...
Post by: shhh its me on May 05, 2014, 07:05:28 AM
There's something I have even more trouble understanding than the bait and switch.
Is OP's family the only one to have to bring food for 25 people? Why her? If I'm expected to provide food I should at least get accommodations!

Are more families expected to bring food? How much are they planning on? :o, enough leftovers to feed them for 3 months?
Because with their logic you either get 8 families (more or less 25 people) bringing food for (8x25=) 200 people, or 2 families bringing food for 50, leaving 6 families who brings nothing. Or one family (OP) to bring for everyone.
Either way the math doesn't add up.

Well a side dish is just that , one side dish. So I'd expect to to be  family 1 bring potato salad for 25 , family 2 bring baked beans for 25, family 3 to bring cake for 25, so 25 large meals not food for a year. 
IF they would have added one of the requests I might call it a mistake and would likely comply (except for camping )
Title: Re: The old bait and switch...
Post by: staceym on May 05, 2014, 07:43:30 AM
I think what really bugged me about this and not make me go is not so much the bait & switch (which, in and of itself would be a turn off) - but it's the way they worded it (if the wording in the OP is what they actually wrote) would have made me see red.  "hamburgers and hot dogs and that's it"  and bring drinks "because we won't have any here for anyone except for ourselves" - what are they going to do, lock away all of "their" drinks and go to the secret hiding place when they want one?

WOW really - yeah, I would write back "thank you for your KIND invitation, but something has come up"
Title: Re: The old bait and switch...
Post by: Hmmmmm on May 05, 2014, 08:05:17 AM
If camping is very common amngst the family, I probably would have assumed that sleep over meant pitching a tent but I do thnk they should have clarified.

But I agree with above OP that it's the wording. Family potlucks are common in our family so each family would already be asking what they could bring. If the email had said "We are planning to serve burgers and hot dogs. We are hoping each family could bring a side, snack, or dessert. We expect to have around 25 people. We will have waters and sodas but bring anything else your family might want to,drink." I would have just thought I was getting god info. But not providing basic drinks for a party is poor hosting and of course you shouldn't suggest a gift is expected.

I'd go if I really wanted to see the extended family.
Title: Re: The old bait and switch...
Post by: siamesecat2965 on May 05, 2014, 08:44:13 AM
I think you'd be fine to decline, in light of the change in the nature of the party. And on the camping thing. Ok, some might be ok with pitching a tent in the yard, but what about bathroom facilities for them? While there may not be "space" in the house to sleep, all those who camp out will probably have to use the bathroom facilities, so how will that work?

I'd politely decline, saying that it won't be possible to meet all the requirements, and send Uncle a card and/or gift separately.
Title: Re: The old bait and switch...
Post by: lowspark on May 05, 2014, 09:06:57 AM
I'm having trouble figuring out what is meant by this:
Quote
'Everyone in your family needs to bring enough food for 20-25 people.

So, if there are four people in your family, you are supposed to bring enough food for 80-100 people?
Doesn't make sense at all.

Is it a potluck? That's not how they work. Everyone brings one normal recipe size dish and shares and there is plenty of everything to go around because people only eat a small amount of each thing.

Or is it a BYOFood thing? In which case, you only need to bring enough to feed yourself, so what's with the "food for 20-25 people"?

All that is just my own curiosity but in any case I'd be rescinding my acceptance and just say, "We won't be able to meet those requirements so we'll have to decline. Be sure to pass our Best Wishes on to Uncle."
Title: Re: The old bait and switch...
Post by: rose red on May 05, 2014, 09:32:02 AM
I agree with everyone. Tell them you can't make it after all. If they push or complain, tell the truth "Your event changed and that's not the event I said yes to."
Title: Re: The old bait and switch...
Post by: JenJay on May 05, 2014, 09:35:16 AM
Just out of curiosity, does "everyone in your family needs to bring food" mean that you are expected to bring several potluck dishes for 20-25 people?

Oh wow you're right, I missed that. It could mean "Your family of 4 needs to bring 4 side dishes, enough to feed 25 people each." I'm hoping that's not what it meant though because that wouldn't make any sense. Even when it's understood that a BBQ is potluck, it's generally one dish per family, nobody expects kids to provide anything.

I had another thought, are they asking everyone to provide food? If the hosts are providing the burgers, dogs and condiments, and asking guests to provide a side that serves 25+, they really only need a handful of people to bring sides. If they've literally asked 20+ guests to not only bring a dish, but enough of it for everyone, they'll be able to live off the leftovers for quite awhile. If, on the other hand, they're only expecting a handful of guests to pitch in, why was OP singled out? She's not close to them emotionally or physically.
Title: Re: The old bait and switch...
Post by: PastryGoddess on May 05, 2014, 09:49:06 AM
I would decline and use the time off to do something fun for you and your family.  If you can afford it, stay at a hotel.  Maybe visit the family for a few hours but then leave and do your own thing.

Title: Re: The old bait and switch...
Post by: Mergatroyd on May 05, 2014, 09:50:17 AM
Because the invite was sent out by facebook, it is possible they had more people RSVP yes then they thought they would, and thus the panic over sleeping arrangements this late in the game. Still, My house would be packed with only one family of four staying over, unless they all wanted to sleep on the floor.
 Since OP isn't that close to them (hasn't seen them in a couple years) I highly doubt she could expect to get one of the few beds even if they wereall to sleep in the house. Grandparents, siblings of uncle, and his own friends would likely claim/get those places.
 OP should have inquired further into the sleeping arrangements before booking time off work. I expect in most cases that would be rude, but a facebook invite with ill-thought out ideas should definitely be an exception.
It does sound that OP's family might be expected to bring the majority of the other food, unless other people have been told to bring items for breakfast and/or lunch either day. You can't have people stay over and not feed them breakfast after all.

Title: Re: The old bait and switch...
Post by: staceym on May 05, 2014, 09:55:59 AM
oh, I forgot about breakfast the next day since they want people to stay over.  hmmmmmmm   8)
Title: Re: The old bait and switch...
Post by: FoxPaws on May 05, 2014, 10:13:18 AM
I would decline. And I would not feel bad about it because the party that I RSVP'd to is no longer happening. This is a different event entirely.
Title: Re: The old bait and switch...
Post by: shhh its me on May 05, 2014, 10:28:21 AM
oh, I forgot about breakfast the next day since they want people to stay over.  hmmmmmmm   8)
Breakfast ,  coffee , showers , midnight night snacks.  Springing "hey can you bring cole slaw for 20 people for the party" might be a mistake/miscommunication and is relatively close to " Come for surprise BBQ and slumber party." Once you say "I am providing only hamburgers. " now I need a tent , sleeping bags , towels ,  coolers of food (snacks , breakfast. maybe dinner if the BBQ is early enough)  and drinks for 14-20 hours  , now its an ordeal and  not even vaguely close to the invite. 
Title: Re: The old bait and switch...
Post by: nayberry on May 05, 2014, 10:47:54 AM
I would decline. And I would not feel bad about it because the party that I RSVP'd to is no longer happening. This is a different event entirely.

+1
Title: Re: The old bait and switch...
Post by: TheaterDiva1 on May 05, 2014, 10:59:34 AM
And gee - what about toilets, showers in the morning, etc? Is each person supposed to dig their own latrine as well?
Title: Re: The old bait and switch...
Post by: doodlemor on May 05, 2014, 12:56:24 PM
And gee - what about toilets, showers in the morning, etc? Is each person supposed to dig their own latrine as well?

Yuck, TheaterDiva is right!!  I wonder if the well and septic on the property can handle the event, or if the "hosts" are renting porta potties.  Even with the potties, it sounds like this would be a strain on the well.
Title: Re: The old bait and switch...
Post by: wolfie on May 05, 2014, 01:09:12 PM
And gee - what about toilets, showers in the morning, etc? Is each person supposed to dig their own latrine as well?

Yuck, TheaterDiva is right!!  I wonder if the well and septic on the property can handle the event, or if the "hosts" are renting porta potties.  Even with the potties, it sounds like this would be a strain on the well.

How do you know they are on a well? I don't see that in the OP. Did she mention it in a later post?
Title: Re: The old bait and switch...
Post by: snugasabug on May 05, 2014, 07:36:40 PM
I think what really bugged me about this and not make me go is not so much the bait & switch (which, in and of itself would be a turn off) - but it's the way they worded it (if the wording in the OP is what they actually wrote) would have made me see red.  "hamburgers and hot dogs and that's it"  and bring drinks "because we won't have any here for anyone except for ourselves" - what are they going to do, lock away all of "their" drinks and go to the secret hiding place when they want one?

WOW really - yeah, I would write back "thank you for your KIND invitation, but something has come up"

OP here...

LOL! Are you me? This is exactly what I want to say!  And yes...those were their exact words!  Pretty pathetic.
Title: Re: The old bait and switch...
Post by: snugasabug on May 05, 2014, 07:41:55 PM
oh, I forgot about breakfast the next day since they want people to stay over.  hmmmmmmm   8)
Breakfast ,  coffee , showers , midnight night snacks.  Springing "hey can you bring cole slaw for 20 people for the party" might be a mistake/miscommunication and is relatively close to " Come for surprise BBQ and slumber party." Once you say "I am providing only hamburgers. " now I need a tent , sleeping bags , towels ,  coolers of food (snacks , breakfast. maybe dinner if the BBQ is early enough)  and drinks for 14-20 hours  , now its an ordeal and  not even vaguely close to the invite.

Op here......

Exactly!!  It's turning into an ordeal that isn't at all close to the invitation.

I did clarify with cousin too, about the amount of food...she meant that my family of 4 needed to bring one thing...and my parents need to bring 1 thing...and my brother's family of 4 need to bring one thing......and all things should be enough for 20+ people.

It would almost be easier if it was a BYOB, and BYOFood party...and maybe if it was held at a campground? LOL  They live out in the country.....and have 4 sleeping areas for guests.....2 bedrooms...downstairs rec room couches and family room couches...they offered my family a room with a double bed....we would bring sleeping bags for the kids to crash on the floor...but the 4 of us would snuggle up in the one room...
Title: Re: The old bait and switch...
Post by: PastryGoddess on May 05, 2014, 08:54:10 PM
Ok you need to be selfish here.

If you do want to go, then go.  If you don't want to go, then don't.  But don't take your family's (possibly) hurt feelings as marching orders.  Because unless they have mind control powers, there is nothing that they can do to force you to attend.

Personally I wouldn't attend.  I'm not a fan of being voluntold to do things.  I'm especially not a fan if the original invitation was that I was a guest and now I'm expected to help host. (bring food to feed all).  It would be one thing if you had offered to help with the plans and details, but that doesn't seem like it was the case here. 

Do what you want to do, not what other people tell you you should do. 
Title: Re: The old bait and switch...
Post by: Roe on May 05, 2014, 09:01:26 PM
If you still want to go, reserve a hotel room, plan fun outings for your family and go to the party as an aside...use the trip more as a family vacation. As for the potluck, bake 25 cupcakes.

But you definitely still have time to change your RSVP to a no.
Title: Re: The old bait and switch...
Post by: kudeebee on May 06, 2014, 12:28:43 AM
I would email her with "Sorry, we won't be able to attend after all.  Hope you have a great party."

Why?  1.  You don't know cousin and uncle that well.   2.  The party is 4 hours away, one way.  That is an 8-hour round trip at the least.    3.  The invitation you were originally given has changed. 

If the party had been presented to you as a mini family reunion, lets all chip in on the food for x and y meals, we will do the birthday dinner meal, etc., it would be entirely different. But to have it changed at the last moment, no just no.

Cancel and enjoy the time off with your immediate family.  Or cancel your days off and use them later on for something fun.
Title: Re: The old bait and switch...
Post by: aussie_chick on May 06, 2014, 04:38:03 AM
I would decline. And I would not feel bad about it because the party that I RSVP'd to is no longer happening. This is a different event entirely.

+1

Parking my pod here. The party you were invited to doesn't exist, so to me neither does your obligation to stick to your RSVP!
Decline and do something lovely with your DH and children.
Title: Re: The old bait and switch...
Post by: EllenS on May 06, 2014, 08:35:03 PM
oh, I forgot about breakfast the next day since they want people to stay over.  hmmmmmmm   8)
Breakfast ,  coffee , showers , midnight night snacks.  Springing "hey can you bring cole slaw for 20 people for the party" might be a mistake/miscommunication and is relatively close to " Come for surprise BBQ and slumber party." Once you say "I am providing only hamburgers. " now I need a tent , sleeping bags , towels ,  coolers of food (snacks , breakfast. maybe dinner if the BBQ is early enough)  and drinks for 14-20 hours  , now its an ordeal and  not even vaguely close to the invite.

Op here......

Exactly!!  It's turning into an ordeal that isn't at all close to the invitation.

I did clarify with cousin too, about the amount of food...she meant that my family of 4 needed to bring one thing...and my parents need to bring 1 thing...and my brother's family of 4 need to bring one thing......and all things should be enough for 20+ people.

It would almost be easier if it was a BYOB, and BYOFood party...and maybe if it was held at a campground? LOL  They live out in the country.....and have 4 sleeping areas for guests.....2 bedrooms...downstairs rec room couches and family room couches...they offered my family a room with a double bed....we would bring sleeping bags for the kids to crash on the floor...but the 4 of us would snuggle up in the one room...

Well, if they are in fact offering you sleeping space in the house, that is at least more reasonable. I still think this cousin is a terribly disorganized hostess and poor at planning, and it doesn't sound like a party I would enjoy.
I think you should stop discussing/negotiating arrangements with the hostess if you are not planning to go. Otherwise, you are getting closer to flipping over into the rude zone yourself. I mean, if you go back and forth and she starts putting effort into reassuring you that you will be as comfortable as possible, if you back out after that, you're not leaving with totally clean hands, iykwim?
Title: Re: The old bait and switch...
Post by: doodlemor on May 06, 2014, 10:44:27 PM
...they offered my family a room with a double bed....we would bring sleeping bags for the kids to crash on the floor...but the 4 of us would snuggle up in the one room...

Someone is going to get that room away from you if you go.  They will have the sniffles, a bad back, a scared child.....whatever, and expect you to give up your spot that is more comfortable to sleep on the ground.

[I've learned from ehell to be a cynic about such things.]
Title: Re: The old bait and switch...
Post by: Please pass the Calgon on May 06, 2014, 11:03:15 PM
All this food needs to be prepared then hauled 4 hours away to the party? Or do you get kitchen privileges at some point to prepare your offering?
Title: Re: The old bait and switch...
Post by: Venus193 on May 07, 2014, 05:19:07 AM
Do yourself an enormous favor and send your regrets.  I can't see this ending well for anyone.
Title: Re: The old bait and switch...
Post by: lkdrymom on May 07, 2014, 05:58:02 AM
...they offered my family a room with a double bed....we would bring sleeping bags for the kids to crash on the floor...but the 4 of us would snuggle up in the one room...

Someone is going to get that room away from you if you go.  They will have the sniffles, a bad back, a scared child.....whatever, and expect you to give up your spot that is more comfortable to sleep on the ground.

[I've learned from ehell to be a cynic about such things.]

This is what I am thinking. After all you said your parents might be attending....wouldn't you lose out on your room to an 'older relative'? Or your parents may get the bed and the four of you will be on the floor.  This no longer sounds like a pleasant experience. If you really want to go and can afford a hotel I would do that option and just visit for the day. And tell the host that bringing anything more than several bags of potato chips on a four hour drive would be too much of a hardship.
Title: Re: The old bait and switch...
Post by: magicdomino on May 07, 2014, 03:54:31 PM
Do yourself an enormous favor and send your regrets.  I can't see this ending well for anyone.

Especially if someone brings potato salad for 25 and there isn't room in the refrigerator.   :P
Title: Re: The old bait and switch...
Post by: Danika on May 08, 2014, 01:14:26 AM
Do yourself an enormous favor and send your regrets.  I can't see this ending well for anyone.

Especially if someone brings potato salad for 25 and there isn't room in the refrigerator.   :P

POD to everyone above me.

And I wanted to say that (sarcastic tone) I love disorganized events like this because without having people state what they plan to bring to the potluck, what happens is that nearly everyone brings potato salad and bags of chips, and there are no other items. Just 500 potato salad servings and 9 bags of chips.
Title: Re: The old bait and switch...
Post by: purple on May 08, 2014, 01:20:58 AM
Do yourself an enormous favor and send your regrets.  I can't see this ending well for anyone.

Especially if someone brings potato salad for 25 and there isn't room in the refrigerator.   :P

POD to everyone above me.

And I wanted to say that (sarcastic tone) I love disorganized events like this because without having people state what they plan to bring to the potluck, what happens is that nearly everyone brings potato salad and bags of chips, and there are no other items. Just 500 potato salad servings and 9 bags of chips.

Then grab a loaf of bread and everybody has potato salad and chips sandwiches, then falls into a carb-coma.  Sounds like a fantastic party  :P
Title: Re: The old bait and switch...
Post by: lowspark on May 08, 2014, 07:30:57 AM
Do yourself an enormous favor and send your regrets.  I can't see this ending well for anyone.

Especially if someone brings potato salad for 25 and there isn't room in the refrigerator.   :P

POD to everyone above me.

And I wanted to say that (sarcastic tone) I love disorganized events like this because without having people state what they plan to bring to the potluck, what happens is that nearly everyone brings potato salad and bags of chips, and there are no other items. Just 500 potato salad servings and 9 bags of chips.

In my experience, everyone brings dessert. All store-bought. Yeah. It's gross.
Title: Re: The old bait and switch...
Post by: Danika on May 08, 2014, 10:42:01 AM
Do yourself an enormous favor and send your regrets.  I can't see this ending well for anyone.

Especially if someone brings potato salad for 25 and there isn't room in the refrigerator.   :P

POD to everyone above me.

And I wanted to say that (sarcastic tone) I love disorganized events like this because without having people state what they plan to bring to the potluck, what happens is that nearly everyone brings potato salad and bags of chips, and there are no other items. Just 500 potato salad servings and 9 bags of chips.

In my experience, everyone brings dessert. All store-bought. Yeah. It's gross.

Oh yes. And without utensils or plates and then the host gets annoyed that people don't want to cut and eat the cake or pie with their fingers and that he/she has to go to the kitchen to provide his/her own.
Title: Re: The old bait and switch...
Post by: blarg314 on May 08, 2014, 07:42:03 PM

I can't see a five item potluck (ie, one item per family), with a significant driving distance and no schedule for who brings what ending well. With larger numbers of people, you have a reasonable probability of variety even with random choices. With four or five, yeah, you're probably going to end up with five salads, or five trays of store bought brownies.

And the thing is, they could host the food without that much effort or cost. They could do the burgers and hot dogs on the grill, stop by Costco for some trays of veggies, big tubs of coleslaw, fruit salad and potato salad, dips and chips. Two litre bottles of pop and iced tea, coffee, ice cream and cookies for dessert. For breakfast, muffins, fruit, juice and coffee.
Title: Re: The old bait and switch...
Post by: PastryGoddess on May 08, 2014, 09:14:38 PM

I can't see a five item potluck (ie, one item per family), with a significant driving distance and no schedule for who brings what ending well. With larger numbers of people, you have a reasonable probability of variety even with random choices. With four or five, yeah, you're probably going to end up with five salads, or five trays of store bought brownies.

And the thing is, they could host the food without that much effort or cost. They could do the burgers and hot dogs on the grill, stop by Costco for some trays of veggies, big tubs of coleslaw, fruit salad and potato salad, dips and chips. Two litre bottles of pop and iced tea, coffee, ice cream and cookies for dessert. For breakfast, muffins, fruit, juice and coffee.


How dare you introduce logic into this situation! ::) ;D :P
Title: Re: The old bait and switch...
Post by: Minmom3 on May 09, 2014, 11:36:42 PM
It sounds like an endurance test, and I'm NOT driving 4 hours each way, with food in the car, for an endurance test.  I'm not fond of sharing a limited bathroom with far too many people.  I'm even less fond of food poisoning.  I've had it, and I'll do my level best to avoid having it ever again.  Sleeping on a hard floor or the hard ground - nope.  That's not any kind of fun IMO.  I'd stay in the most rudimentary cabin as long as I had access to toilets, showers, and a working fridge for the food (or a lot of jumbo coolers with ice!).  To me, it sounds like a train wreck, slowly sliding towards a cliff edge, knowing that falling over that edge is coming up soon!  Not nearly enough fun to be worth the discomfort and stress.