Etiquette Hell

General Etiquette => Techno-quette => Topic started by: Semperviren on October 02, 2017, 06:22:12 PM

Title: "Please don't post X on your FB page"
Post by: Semperviren on October 02, 2017, 06:22:12 PM
I've encountered this a few times in the last few months on FB, where someone posts, basically, a rant about seeing so many posts about politics, or a current event, or a particular celebrity, says they only come on FB to read what's going on with their friends or watch cute kitty videos and that's all they care about, and ask that others not post about stuff they don't like.  It seems to me that 1) it's rude to tell others how to use their FB page and 2) the better solution is to just "unfollow" a page you don't like. Thoughts?
Title: Re: "Please don't post X on your FB page"
Post by: mime on October 02, 2017, 07:47:33 PM
That is so self-centered to order everyone to run their FB posts according to this one person's preferences! I agree it is rude.

Let me see here... if I only want to see content on FB that I like, I can either:

1- Follow/unfollow people according to their content. IOW, they decide what they post, and I decide whether I want to be their audience. I've exercised that with my I-hate-everyone-who-doesn't-think-the-way-I-do friend from school. I wonder if she knows that I don't share her opinions? I wonder if she'd hate me if she knew? meh. That's just not worth my energy.

2- Create a bunch of bots to post nothing but cute kitties and sloth memes, and I can follow them. I'd have to find another way of keeping up with friends, but I have a phone, email, and texting. It seems I could come up with something.

I'm guessing that FB is not the right place for this person, or maybe he/she needs to narrow down the list of followed-friends to the people who are committed to no rants, no politics, no pop culture celebrity gossip. TBH, I could do without all of that myself, but I won't run around demanding it of everyone else.

Title: Re: "Please don't post X on your FB page"
Post by: Katana_Geldar on October 02, 2017, 08:41:05 PM
They may as well complain water is wet.
Title: Re: "Please don't post X on your FB page"
Post by: Harriet Jones on October 02, 2017, 08:58:17 PM
People can post whatever they want on their own page.  You can't expect people to post only stuff you're interested in.  I've had to hide a few people for various reasons, mostly *way too much* politics or MLM spam.   




Title: Re: "Please don't post X on your FB page"
Post by: JadeGirl on October 02, 2017, 09:55:51 PM
I enjoy clay pigeon shooting as an occasional hobby, and so have followed selected equipment manufacturers and Olympic shooters on Facebook.  An (ex)-friend told me it was wrong to "like" pictures of guns as she didn't want to see them on her feed.  She claims that she is an empath, and seeing pictures of guns causes her physical pain. 

Apparently, I should have known this.  However, we used to watch movies together on a regular basis.  Some of our favourites were "Deadpool", "The Fifth Element", Star Wars, and assorted Quentin Tarantino movies.

I think I sprained a muscle from rolling my eyes so hard.
Title: Re: "Please don't post X on your FB page"
Post by: SheltieMom on October 02, 2017, 10:51:10 PM
I'm considering asking people to please get a business page if they are selling something. I've got 5 different people pushing Plexus, at least 3 realtors who post every time they sell a house, and I don't know how many selling Essential Oils. I want to keep up with people, but some of them post 5 or 6 things every single day about the stuff they're selling. I want to be their friend, but I wish I had the option of being a customer or not.
I'm not sure if this is different than the original post or not.
Title: Re: "Please don't post X on your FB page"
Post by: Oh Joy on October 03, 2017, 07:31:40 AM
The concept of someone's page being their own is valid to a point, just like their home being their own.

However, the feedback of 'if you want me to see your family updates on this page, then know that I do/will miss those if I'm avoiding it because of X/Y/Z content' is also valid. 

Sometimes there's a time and place to share our feelings with friends and families.  I see it as being case-by-case and best handled privately.  It's like deciding whether to decline an invitation to someone's home, or talk to them about their cat on the dining table / smoking in front of guests / keeping windows closed and AC off on hot days.
Title: Re: "Please don't post X on your FB page"
Post by: MrTango on October 03, 2017, 07:35:41 AM
OP, you're spot on.

If you don't like what someone posted on their own timeline, then your only reasonable recourse is to hide that post or unfollow/unfriend/block that person. (The decision to unfollow, unfriend, or block is entirely up to you).

However, the feedback of 'if you want me to see your family updates on this page, then know that I do/will miss those if I'm avoiding it because of X/Y/Z content' is also valid.

I'll agree to this, but also valid is the feedback "If you keep bothering me about what I choose to post on my page, then you won't be able to see anything I post at all because I'm going to put you on my restricted list/unfriend you."
Title: Re: "Please don't post X on your FB page"
Post by: Harriet Jones on October 03, 2017, 08:59:44 AM

I'll agree to this, but also valid is the feedback "If you keep bothering me about what I choose to post on my page, then you won't be able to see anything I post at all because I'm going to put you on my restricted list/unfriend you."

Yeah, this too.  If someone keeps complaining about what they see on my page, I'll change their permissions so they see less (or none) of my posts.
Title: Re: "Please don't post X on your FB page"
Post by: MagnesiumOxide on October 03, 2017, 09:10:00 AM
I'm considering asking people to please get a business page if they are selling something. I've got 5 different people pushing Plexus, at least 3 realtors who post every time they sell a house, and I don't know how many selling Essential Oils. I want to keep up with people, but some of them post 5 or 6 things every single day about the stuff they're selling. I want to be their friend, but I wish I had the option of being a customer or not.
I'm not sure if this is different than the original post or not.

They're using their pages the way they want to.  It's up to you to either unfollow, unfriend, or just not look.  I would delete someone who had the gall to tell me how to use my social media (if I had social media). 
Title: Re: "Please don't post X on your FB page"
Post by: ClaireC79 on October 03, 2017, 09:21:43 AM
The only ones where I agree with the 'don't post this on facebook' tend to be thouse saying 'don't post anything on facebook about the birth of our baby until after we have made the announcement' - I think thats fair.

I've also seen ones where people have asked someone not to post photos of them or their underage child - again reasonable.

I think you can ask people not to talk/post about YOU, but not restrict a general topic of conversation
Title: Re: "Please don't post X on your FB page"
Post by: Oh Joy on October 03, 2017, 09:55:17 AM
If a person's position is that they can post whatever and however they want on their own page, then that logically should extend to allowing others to post whatever and however they want on their own page. Even commentary about how other people post. This can get circular fairly quickly!

I do think it's important to keep in mind the goal of using a tool like Facebook. Is it to do battles over rights and wrongs, or is it to connect and share with friends and family?
Title: Re: "Please don't post X on your FB page"
Post by: mime on October 03, 2017, 10:34:42 AM
If a person's position is that they can post whatever and however they want on their own page, then that logically should extend to allowing others to post whatever and however they want on their own page. Even commentary about how other people post. This can get circular fairly quickly!

I do think it's important to keep in mind the goal of using a tool like Facebook. Is it to do battles over rights and wrongs, or is it to connect and share with friends and family?

I agree it is important to keep that goal in mind, and to remember that not everyone shares the same goal. Some Facebook connections are doomed from the start because they fail to recognize that.
Title: Re: "Please don't post X on your FB page"
Post by: PastryGoddess on October 03, 2017, 12:34:36 PM
For those of you who don't want to see business posts, you can get a facebook filter extension for your browser to filter those posts out.  Unfortunately, they don't work on the mobile version of the app.  So if you read FB on your phone you're out of luck. 
Title: Re: "Please don't post X on your FB page"
Post by: Peppergirl on October 03, 2017, 03:43:58 PM
Just adding to the chorus of "my page, my content."

Seriously, I have a couple of choices when one my my FB friends starts to annoy me with their posts:  Roll my eyes and scroll by, unfriend or unfollow.  It really is that simple. 

I'm bratty enough that if I know something I post often is annoying someone in particular, I'll post more of it.  Immature, maybe - but they have the option to unfollow or unfriend me and need to utilize those features.

And no, I don't post inappropriate items. 
Title: Re: "Please don't post X on your FB page"
Post by: SamiHami on October 03, 2017, 04:54:28 PM
Just adding to the chorus of "my page, my content."

Seriously, I have a couple of choices when one my my FB friends starts to annoy me with their posts:  Roll my eyes and scroll by, unfriend or unfollow.  It really is that simple. 

I'm bratty enough that if I know something I post often is annoying someone in particular, I'll post more of it.  Immature, maybe - but they have the option to unfollow or unfriend me and need to utilize those features.

And no, I don't post inappropriate items.

Oh, but surely there will be some who find something inappropriate, no matter how benign or innocent it may be.  ::)
Title: Re: "Please don't post X on your FB page"
Post by: Peppergirl on October 03, 2017, 05:26:52 PM
^^ Oh, but of course! I relish offending those types. Ha!

I kid, I kid.  Sorta.  >:D
Title: Re: "Please don't post X on your FB page"
Post by: miranova on October 03, 2017, 08:49:28 PM
Yeah, really this is so simple.  You can even hide people without completely defriending them and they will never know, so if their posts aren't something you want to see, do that.

A couple of years ago I had two friends of mine die very suddenly and unexpectedly.  It was a rough two weeks.  I posted a few things in memory of them, and a newspaper article about one of them.  A friend then posted that my posts were too upsetting to her because thinking about death made her too anxious.  I told her I would help her out so that she wouldn't see my posts anymore and then defriended her and never looked back.  I was grieving and didn't need a freaking lecture telling me that I shouldn't discuss my newly deceased friends.  She could/should have just unfollowed or defriended me instead of basically telling me that I needed to grieve alone (many of my FB friends knew these two people as well and we were all wanting to talk/share still).
Title: Re: "Please don't post X on your FB page"
Post by: WolfWay on October 04, 2017, 12:38:43 AM
If a person's position is that they can post whatever and however they want on their own page, then that logically should extend to allowing others to post whatever and however they want on their own page. Even commentary about how other people post. This can get circular fairly quickly!

I do think it's important to keep in mind the goal of using a tool like Facebook. Is it to do battles over rights and wrongs, or is it to connect and share with friends and family?

I agree it is important to keep that goal in mind, and to remember that not everyone shares the same goal. Some Facebook connections are doomed from the start because they fail to recognize that.
And some of us want lots of different things in our feed to keep it varied.

I have friends who are very active in certain human rights causes or who have professional political involvements and post very little other than those things, I follow them because I want to educate myself about various issues, but I don't want my entire feed drowned in those posts, which I would have if I followed the same source pages they follow. I just see a filtered cut down sample of the full range of articles based on their likes and comments on articles.

I have friends who post nothing but scientific and anthropological articles, I like those because they're interesting to me.

I have friends who post nothing but cute animals videos and pretty dress pictures, I like following them because the cuteness makes me happy.

I have other friends that post nothing but family photos and I like following those to see what my distant family is up to.

There's no one specific right way to use social media of any kind, it's up to the individual to prune their own feed pages to shape it to their tastes (as much as the sites will allow you to, without shoving unwanted content into the middle of things).
Title: Re: "Please don't post X on your FB page"
Post by: Venus193 on October 04, 2017, 07:50:12 AM
I eliminated a certain friend from my feed because I am sick of her political posts.  For the same reason I don't allow her to post on my timeline.

I've posted on my timeline that I will defriend anyone who posts photos of me or tags me in anything.  Someone just violated that and I have to talk to her about it.
Title: Re: "Please don't post X on your FB page"
Post by: Team HoundMom on October 04, 2017, 11:05:15 AM
A couple of years ago I had two friends of mine die very suddenly and unexpectedly.  It was a rough two weeks.  I posted a few things in memory of them, and a newspaper article about one of them.  A friend then posted that my posts were too upsetting to her because thinking about death made her too anxious. 

Wow.  Just...wow.  I recently lost my 23-year-old niece suddenly and I can't imagine what I'd do if someone said that to me.  You said "a couple years ago" but I'm still sorry for your loss.

I'm recently experiencing "parental estrangement" thanks to Facebook's lack of privacy.  My father (who doesn't even have a FB account, just looks at his wife's account) saw something that I'd "Liked" and agreed with (the post was on a friend's page who is not a mutual friend of my stepmom, but the post was set to "Public" so that's how it ended up on her newsfeed as "Team Houndmom commented on this") and he disagreed with the post. He thought that I'd posted it personally and "aimed it toward" him.  He tore a strip off me at the diner where we met for breakfast and later my stepmom told me that he didn't even want to come over and see me that day.  I explained what happened (post set to Public, wasn't me, I simply commented) and all seemed fine.  But it bothered and upset me so much that I wrote a lengthy email when I got home, explaining again what happened and saying that if you're going to look at Facebook you need to understand that people have different views and feelings and you have to respect that.  I haven't heard a word from him since and this was in February.  No replies to subsequent emails, no return phone calls, no acknowledgement when I was in their city, nothing.  Not one word of comfort when my niece died either.  Obviously he looks at my Facebook and knows what's going on in my life but I didn't know until that day because he never once said anything about the funny or happy things I post or my accomplishments or anything.  Then he sees something he doesn't agree with and I get ripped?  So yeah, I'm being punished for having my own thoughts and feelings.  Nice eh.

I went through this before with my husband's mother, she flipped out on me for wishing my "honorary family" a happy Thanksgiving on Facebook and not mentioning my family or in-laws.  Long story, but still due to someone not respecting someone else's right to post what they want on their Facebook page.

I keep my page fairly light and funny, some borderline inappropriate jokes of course because that's what I find hilarious.  Anybody who doesn't like it can not look at it.

Title: Re: "Please don't post X on your FB page"
Post by: pattycake on October 04, 2017, 11:12:54 AM
If a person's position is that they can post whatever and however they want on their own page, then that logically should extend to allowing others to post whatever and however they want on their own page. Even commentary about how other people post. This can get circular fairly quickly!

I do think it's important to keep in mind the goal of using a tool like Facebook. Is it to do battles over rights and wrongs, or is it to connect and share with friends and family?

I agree it is important to keep that goal in mind, and to remember that not everyone shares the same goal. Some Facebook connections are doomed from the start because they fail to recognize that.
And some of us want lots of different things in our feed to keep it varied.

I have friends who are very active in certain human rights causes or who have professional political involvements and post very little other than those things, I follow them because I want to educate myself about various issues, but I don't want my entire feed drowned in those posts, which I would have if I followed the same source pages they follow. I just see a filtered cut down sample of the full range of articles based on their likes and comments on articles.

I have friends who post nothing but scientific and anthropological articles, I like those because they're interesting to me.

I have friends who post nothing but cute animals videos and pretty dress pictures, I like following them because the cuteness makes me happy.

I have other friends that post nothing but family photos and I like following those to see what my distant family is up to.

There's no one specific right way to use social media of any kind, it's up to the individual to prune their own feed pages to shape it to their tastes (as much as the sites will allow you to, without shoving unwanted content into the middle of things).

I think this is where I kind of fall for the most part (but on different issues). For things that bug me, I have made my own lists and put people on them and then unfollowed them so they don't appear in my newsfeed. Then I can scroll through the lists quickly once in a while in case I missed something important (vital statistics-wise, like births/marriages etc). My most annoying people are the Plexus people (though they seem to be fading a bit lately!) and one vaguebooker who is often looking for sympathy for something she won't ever say straight up.
Title: Re: "Please don't post X on your FB page"
Post by: Outdoor Girl on October 04, 2017, 11:15:59 AM
Another person who wouldn't take kindly to someone telling me not to post about something.  There are people in my life who post things that I'm not interested in, for the most part.  But they do post other stuff so I don't want to unfollow them.  I just scroll on past whatever I don't want to read.  Anybody who tried to direct what I post?  Wouldn't have to worry about reading any of my stuff.
Title: Re: "Please don't post X on your FB page"
Post by: dani321 on October 04, 2017, 11:47:44 AM
If I communicated with every person who posts things I don't like, I don't think I'd have much time for anything else! But since I value my time and sanity, I just ignore, and/or unfollow when it gets to be too much. Unless it was my own child, or someone I'm extremely close to, I don't think it's my place to police anyone else's social media use. And I have actually had good friends that I just unfollowed rather than told them what they should and shouldn't post on their own social media. Funnily enough, one of these friends, after posting a rant and getting unfavorable comments, posted again and said that she wasn't asking for anyone's opinion or comments. I REALLY wanted to point out that, when you post on social media, there is literally a place right there for anyone to comment on it, so you are actually inviting comments when you post. But, I unfollowed instead  :)

I don't post much on social media to begin with, but I also wouldn't react well to someone telling me what I should/shouldn't post. When I adopted an animal, I actually made him his own fan pages/accounts because I didn't want to overload my social media with adorable furry pics  ;D In the case of those selling products, if they made a business page, they would just share the posts on their personal page anyway, so unfortunately I don't think that solution would work!

If someone you are very close to posted things that seemed way out of character, or were extremely inflammatory, or possibly if it's a technologically challenged person that may not realize what's public or private, then I think exceptions can be made. But for the most part I think the Mind Your Own Beeswax rule applies to social media just as it does anywhere else in life.
Title: Re: "Please don't post X on your FB page"
Post by: rose red on October 04, 2017, 12:33:25 PM
I'm not on FB so I don't know how it's set up so I don't know if others can block out certain topics. But if someone tells me not to post something, by reply would be a simple "Please feel free to unfriend me. We can communicate in other ways."
Title: Re: "Please don't post X on your FB page"
Post by: MrTango on October 04, 2017, 02:42:33 PM
I recently put my parents' accounts on my restricted list because of this very issue.  We'll still communicate via phone, email, text, and see each other on the weekends so they can have time with BabyTango.  We have a great relationship, despite having differing opinions about what should and should not be posted on social media.
Title: Re: "Please don't post X on your FB page"
Post by: cross_patch on October 04, 2017, 03:41:07 PM
I eliminated a certain friend from my feed because I am sick of her political posts.  For the same reason I don't allow her to post on my timeline.

I've posted on my timeline that I will defriend anyone who posts photos of me or tags me in anything.  Someone just violated that and I have to talk to her about it.

No one can tag you in anything at all, even things they think you might be interested in?
Title: Re: "Please don't post X on your FB page"
Post by: PastryGoddess on October 04, 2017, 06:52:17 PM
I eliminated a certain friend from my feed because I am sick of her political posts.  For the same reason I don't allow her to post on my timeline.

I've posted on my timeline that I will defriend anyone who posts photos of me or tags me in anything.  Someone just violated that and I have to talk to her about it.

No one can tag you in anything at all, even things they think you might be interested in?

FB doesn't allow you to completely prevent someone from tagging you, just to allow you to review it before it goes on your timeline. 

I have this set up on my account as well.  I don't like the idea of someone being allowed to link me to something on my timeline without me being aware of it. 
Title: Re: "Please don't post X on your FB page"
Post by: cross_patch on October 05, 2017, 06:46:59 AM
I eliminated a certain friend from my feed because I am sick of her political posts.  For the same reason I don't allow her to post on my timeline.

I've posted on my timeline that I will defriend anyone who posts photos of me or tags me in anything.  Someone just violated that and I have to talk to her about it.

No one can tag you in anything at all, even things they think you might be interested in?

FB doesn't allow you to completely prevent someone from tagging you, just to allow you to review it before it goes on your timeline. 

I have this set up on my account as well.  I don't like the idea of someone being allowed to link me to something on my timeline without me being aware of it.

Oh yes, I have that on my settings too but I was wondering whether Venus gets upset with people that tag her in things, or whether she just reviews the posts.
Title: Re: "Please don't post X on your FB page"
Post by: PastryGoddess on October 05, 2017, 11:27:56 AM
I eliminated a certain friend from my feed because I am sick of her political posts.  For the same reason I don't allow her to post on my timeline.

I've posted on my timeline that I will defriend anyone who posts photos of me or tags me in anything.  Someone just violated that and I have to talk to her about it.

No one can tag you in anything at all, even things they think you might be interested in?

FB doesn't allow you to completely prevent someone from tagging you, just to allow you to review it before it goes on your timeline. 

I have this set up on my account as well.  I don't like the idea of someone being allowed to link me to something on my timeline without me being aware of it.

Oh yes, I have that on my settings too but I was wondering whether Venus gets upset with people that tag her in things, or whether she just reviews the posts.

I used to get upset and then I realized just like I can decide how I use my FB, they can decide how to use their FB.  So I stopped getting mad and just set it so I have to review anything I'm tagged in because that's how FB has it set up. 
Title: Re: "Please don't post X on your FB page"
Post by: Venus193 on October 05, 2017, 05:10:31 PM
I will need to check FB's rule about reviewing tags.  I'm not sure how that works.
Title: Re: "Please don't post X on your FB page"
Post by: PastryGoddess on October 05, 2017, 08:59:05 PM
I will need to check FB's rule about reviewing tags.  I'm not sure how that works.

You should get a notification when someone has tagged you if you have the setting on. 

Go to Settings > Timeline and Tagging.  The second option turns on Timeline Review.  It doesn't stop someone from tagging you, FB got rid of that feature 5 or 6 years ago.  But it does stop a post you're tagged in from appearing on your timeline. 
Title: Re: "Please don't post X on your FB page"
Post by: diesel_darlin on October 06, 2017, 04:04:06 AM
I enjoy clay pigeon shooting as an occasional hobby, and so have followed selected equipment manufacturers and Olympic shooters on Facebook.  An (ex)-friend told me it was wrong to "like" pictures of guns as she didn't want to see them on her feed.  She claims that she is an empath, and seeing pictures of guns causes her physical pain. 

Apparently, I should have known this.  However, we used to watch movies together on a regular basis.  Some of our favourites were "Deadpool", "The Fifth Element", Star Wars, and assorted Quentin Tarantino movies.

I think I sprained a muscle from rolling my eyes so hard.

You seem like a friend I'd like to have! It would beat the tar out of the endless whining and pity me posts that I keep seeing.

And Team Houndmom, I'm in your boat. My dad's gf takes everything she sees on fb seriously, and I often get fussed at over things other people post that I have no control over. Main example is my sister.
Title: Re: "Please don't post X on your FB page"
Post by: Venus193 on October 06, 2017, 05:23:07 AM
I will need to check FB's rule about reviewing tags.  I'm not sure how that works.

You should get a notification when someone has tagged you if you have the setting on. 

Go to Settings > Timeline and Tagging.  The second option turns on Timeline Review.  It doesn't stop someone from tagging you, FB got rid of that feature 5 or 6 years ago.  But it does stop a post you're tagged in from appearing on your timeline.

But all that does is allow me to fool myself about it.  It doesn't remove it altogether, which it should do. 

I want to control what other people see about me.  If I post something on a public page, that's my choice.  If someone tags me in a photo or in content I want to remove the tag altogether.
Title: Re: "Please don't post X on your FB page"
Post by: HannahGrace on October 06, 2017, 06:12:26 AM
I will need to check FB's rule about reviewing tags.  I'm not sure how that works.

You should get a notification when someone has tagged you if you have the setting on. 

Go to Settings > Timeline and Tagging.  The second option turns on Timeline Review.  It doesn't stop someone from tagging you, FB got rid of that feature 5 or 6 years ago.  But it does stop a post you're tagged in from appearing on your timeline.

But all that does is allow me to fool myself about it.  It doesn't remove it altogether, which it should do. 

I want to control what other people see about me.  If I post something on a public page, that's my choice.  If someone tags me in a photo or in content I want to remove the tag altogether.

You can remove the tag. You just can't stop them from trying to tag you, but if you turn on timeline review, the post that they tried to tag you in won't apo are on your page unless you okay it.
Title: Re: "Please don't post X on your FB page"
Post by: pattycake on October 06, 2017, 11:24:28 AM
I will need to check FB's rule about reviewing tags.  I'm not sure how that works.

You should get a notification when someone has tagged you if you have the setting on. 

Go to Settings > Timeline and Tagging.  The second option turns on Timeline Review.  It doesn't stop someone from tagging you, FB got rid of that feature 5 or 6 years ago.  But it does stop a post you're tagged in from appearing on your timeline.

But all that does is allow me to fool myself about it.  It doesn't remove it altogether, which it should do. 

I want to control what other people see about me.  If I post something on a public page, that's my choice.  If someone tags me in a photo or in content I want to remove the tag altogether.


A simple check in FB help shows this:

To remove a tag from a post you've been tagged in, click (the down arrow) in the top right of the post and select Remove Tag.

You can also remove tags from multiple posts at once:
1.Go to your activity log
2.Click Photos in the left column
3.Click to check the box to the left of the posts you'd like to remove a tag from
4.Click Report/Remove Tags at the top of the page
5.Click Untag Photos to confirm

Removed tags will no longer appear on the post or photo, but the post or photo is still visible to the audience it's shared with. People may be able to view the post or photo in places like News Feed or search results. To remove it from Facebook completely, ask the person who posted it to take it down.
----

Hope that helps you.
Title: Re: "Please don't post X on your FB page"
Post by: Semperviren on October 06, 2017, 06:40:58 PM
I guess the way I view FB is, this is in effect an online diary or pinup board which I allow some selected people to see. I post various things- share stuff I think is amusing or beautiful or interesting or occasionally what's going on with me or sometimes an opinion about a current event.

I do set up specific lists to screen certain posts, and if someone lets me know, for example, they don't want to see opinion pieces, I'll put them on the "No Op/Ed" list. And if someone routinely posts things I'd rather not see, I'll unfollow them (an awesome feature, AFAIC, because I can manage how much of a "dose" of certain people I get, much as I've learned to control how much time I spend with challenging people IRL).

It's similar to owning a cell phone, in a way; I own a cell for MY safety, convenience and pleasure, not so I can be at others' beck and call whenever THEY wish, and my knowing someone else has a cell doesn't mean I get to dictate their use of it.

Likewise, the FB user maintains a page for themselves; others may find the page entertaining or useful but that doesn't mean it exists for their benefit.
Title: Re: "Please don't post X on your FB page"
Post by: Mary Lennox on October 06, 2017, 08:43:04 PM
I will need to check FB's rule about reviewing tags.  I'm not sure how that works.

You should get a notification when someone has tagged you if you have the setting on. 

Go to Settings > Timeline and Tagging.  The second option turns on Timeline Review.  It doesn't stop someone from tagging you, FB got rid of that feature 5 or 6 years ago.  But it does stop a post you're tagged in from appearing on your timeline.

But all that does is allow me to fool myself about it.  It doesn't remove it altogether, which it should do. 

I want to control what other people see about me.  If I post something on a public page, that's my choice.  If someone tags me in a photo or in content I want to remove the tag altogether.

Unfortunately, the way FB works, the only way to guarantee that no one will try to tag you against your will is to not have any friends.
Title: Re: "Please don't post X on your FB page"
Post by: Venus193 on October 07, 2017, 06:13:43 AM
That annoys the crap out of me.  The only good thing about this is that you find out who your friends really are when they do this despite your wish that they don't.
Title: Re: "Please don't post X on your FB page"
Post by: Mary Lennox on October 07, 2017, 09:10:13 AM
So how are people meant to get your attention without tagging you? If they find an article/post they think you and 5 others will find interesting, do they have to send you an individual pm or post it directly to your page, instead of just including you on the same post of the others?

You can't avoid people trying to tag you, as ehell says, you can only change how you react to the action - change the settings to be able to approve/reject the tag or as I said before, unfriend everybody. You may not like the options, but they are your only options unless FB changes the settings.
Title: Re: "Please don't post X on your FB page"
Post by: cross_patch on October 07, 2017, 06:02:16 PM
That annoys the crap out of me.  The only good thing about this is that you find out who your friends really are when they do this despite your wish that they don't.

I donít understand this - do you mean anything? I could understand not wanting to be tagged in anything offensive or inappropriate. But do you mean you get angry and sever your friendship with anyone that tags you in anything at all? Even if itís a kitten picture, or something?
Title: Re: "Please don't post X on your FB page"
Post by: Venus193 on October 07, 2017, 08:59:31 PM
My friends are welcome to post kitten pictures and anything else they know I would like to my page or timeline.
Title: Re: "Please don't post X on your FB page"
Post by: cross_patch on October 07, 2017, 10:09:51 PM
My friends are welcome to post kitten pictures and anything else they know I would like to my page or timeline.

So itís not the tagging or posting, itís tagging or posting things *you think are inappropriate*, is that right? Which is what that review function is for.

Or do you get angry when anyone tags you at all in anything? Iím sorry, Iím just a bit confused, because it feels like a lot of unspoken rules that would be super confusing in terms of the way most people use Facebook. My Facebook friends tag me in a million things all the time, so itís not a problem for me. Iíd be furious if someone tagged me in something racist, or sexist for example, but that would be because of the content rather than the act of tagging. If no one tagged me in anything I would never have found out that such a thing as a gin advent calendar exists, and my world would be emptier for it.
Title: Re: "Please don't post X on your FB page"
Post by: pattycake on October 07, 2017, 10:36:11 PM
My friends are welcome to post kitten pictures and anything else they know I would like to my page or timeline.

But what if it's something they might think you would like, and it turns out they're wrong? I can't imagine unfriending someone because they're mistaken. We never know anyone as well as we think we do. I've been tagged in things I didn't want to be tagged, and I just quietly removed the tag.
Title: Re: "Please don't post X on your FB page"
Post by: Venus193 on October 07, 2017, 10:48:46 PM
I have one friend who can't post to my page because I don't want political stuff there.  A year ago I posted a request on my page to people to not tag me in things.  One of them promised to comply.... and is now not doing so.

If we're supposed to be considerate of our friends' preferences I don't see an issue here.
Title: Re: "Please don't post X on your FB page"
Post by: cross_patch on October 08, 2017, 12:23:07 AM
I have one friend who can't post to my page because I don't want political stuff there.  A year ago I posted a request on my page to people to not tag me in things.  One of them promised to comply.... and is now not doing so.

If we're supposed to be considerate of our friends' preferences I don't see an issue here.

Nobody is saying thereís an issue, just that it seems like a very severe blanket rule that is outside the norm of a lot of peopleís Facebook usage. If you donít want to answer, just say that, otherwise it feels like having a one sided conversation.
Title: Re: "Please don't post X on your FB page"
Post by: Katana_Geldar on October 08, 2017, 01:28:36 AM
One of my friends announced she was pregnant on FB around the time we had a miscarriage. She kept posting things about her pregnancy and her ultrasound pictures, just the last thing I wanted to see. But I never thought of asking her to stop posting, I knew Iíd be a horrible person for taking away her joy. So I unfollowed her and her husband for a time until I was ready to deal with it.
Title: Re: "Please don't post X on your FB page"
Post by: maksi on October 08, 2017, 06:03:52 AM
I eliminated a certain friend from my feed because I am sick of her political posts.  For the same reason I don't allow her to post on my timeline.

I've posted on my timeline that I will defriend anyone who posts photos of me or tags me in anything.  Someone just violated that and I have to talk to her about it.

The obvious problem here is that you can't really expect everyone to see your post or to remember how you wish others to act. But there's nothing wrong in requesting. And as others have advised: use the tagging settings so that you can't be tagged unless you allow it.

And that's basically how it goes in other stuff, too. We can suggest or request ("hey, friend have you considered making a specific Page for your marketing stuff? I've heard that works better for many people!" or "I'm sorry, friends, but I need to unfollow all who post about topic X, it's something I just can't handle right now!") but in the end it's our right and responsibility to curate our social media feeds to what we want to see. It's not everyone else's responsibility to try and curate their own posts to the liking of everyone on their friends list, as if that was even be possible.
Title: Re: "Please don't post X on your FB page"
Post by: Raintree on November 06, 2017, 02:49:37 AM
My page, my content, and if you don't like it, choose to hide my posts, or unfollow or unfriend me.

I've had one or two people, the day after a major news event involving politics, post something along the lines of "Whaaa.....I am sick of seeing posts about News Event!!" Well, guess what, it's major news, and people will be talking about it. Go ahead and bury your head in the sand if you like, but don't expect others to.

One guy used a more passive-aggressive, "Sorry, I'm going to be unfriending people who post about Major News Event, especially if it has to do with Specific Public Figure." People continued to post about it of course, so he posted again one more "warning" that he would be unfriending people. I figure, go right ahead, you don't have to make an announcement about it. He still has not unfriended me though.
Title: Re: "Please don't post X on your FB page"
Post by: Goog on December 18, 2017, 09:25:02 PM
I have a FB friend who, more often than not, vaguebooks.  You know....posts like, "Just remember that if you were there last night, you know the whole story.  And if you weren't there, be careful what you believe."  There's something like that every week, it seems.  I was so tempted to post a "Huh?" or even something like, "Vaguebooking again?" but of course I didn't.  It just seems rude to me to post something on a very public forum when you're obviously only intending it for one person, and just to chastise that one person!  But alas, I know that's how she chooses to use her account, and that's what she wants to put on her wall, and I have no right to tell her not to post that stuff even though it bugs me. I just decided I don't want to see it anymore.  So I stopped following her. 
Title: Re: "Please don't post X on your FB page"
Post by: rose red on December 19, 2017, 09:31:33 AM
I have a FB friend who, more often than not, vaguebooks.  You know....posts like, "Just remember that if you were there last night, you know the whole story.  And if you weren't there, be careful what you believe."  There's something like that every week, it seems.  I was so tempted to post a "Huh?" or even something like, "Vaguebooking again?" but of course I didn't.  It just seems rude to me to post something on a very public forum when you're obviously only intending it for one person, and just to chastise that one person!  But alas, I know that's how she chooses to use her account, and that's what she wants to put on her wall, and I have no right to tell her not to post that stuff even though it bugs me. I just decided I don't want to see it anymore.  So I stopped following her.

Even a "huh?" or a snarky "vaguebooking again?" gives her what she wants. No response drives Vague-bookers nuts. >:D
Title: Re: "Please don't post X on your FB page"
Post by: MrTango on December 21, 2017, 12:59:25 PM
I have a FB friend who, more often than not, vaguebooks.  You know....posts like, "Just remember that if you were there last night, you know the whole story.  And if you weren't there, be careful what you believe."  There's something like that every week, it seems.  I was so tempted to post a "Huh?" or even something like, "Vaguebooking again?" but of course I didn't.  It just seems rude to me to post something on a very public forum when you're obviously only intending it for one person, and just to chastise that one person!  But alas, I know that's how she chooses to use her account, and that's what she wants to put on her wall, and I have no right to tell her not to post that stuff even though it bugs me. I just decided I don't want to see it anymore.  So I stopped following her.

Even a "huh?" or a snarky "vaguebooking again?" gives her what she wants. No response drives Vague-bookers nuts. >:D

Yep.  I find the "Hide Post" tool to be very useful.  That way, I only have to discipline myself once to not take the bait.  Once the post is hidden, I won't see it again and therefore will not be tempted again to respond.
Title: Re: "Please don't post X on your FB page"
Post by: Allyson on December 23, 2017, 12:10:48 PM
With vaguebookers I am so, so tempted to respond with something absurd that I know isn't what they mean.  So the whole "if you were there last night you understand, if not, be careful what you believe" could be "Seriously, when Chris Hemsworth showed up with homemade pie was really not something I would ever have seen coming - what a great surprise!"

(I would not actually do this.)
Title: Re: "Please don't post X on your FB page"
Post by: GreenBird on December 23, 2017, 12:26:00 PM
With vaguebookers I am so, so tempted to respond with something absurd that I know isn't what they mean.  So the whole "if you were there last night you understand, if not, be careful what you believe" could be "Seriously, when Chris Hemsworth showed up with homemade pie was really not something I would ever have seen coming - what a great surprise!"

(I would not actually do this.)

I love this, and would laugh for days at seeing it in response to a vaguebook!  However, now I want pie (and Chris Hemsworth). 
Title: Re: "Please don't post X on your FB page"
Post by: Peppergirl on December 26, 2017, 12:53:16 PM
With vaguebookers I am so, so tempted to respond with something absurd that I know isn't what they mean.  So the whole "if you were there last night you understand, if not, be careful what you believe" could be "Seriously, when Chris Hemsworth showed up with homemade pie was really not something I would ever have seen coming - what a great surprise!"

(I would not actually do this.)

I would.

Brilliant!
Title: Re: "Please don't post X on your FB page"
Post by: Team HoundMom on December 27, 2017, 02:10:33 PM
Does anybody know if Facebook has stopped showing everyone's Comments and Likes?  Remember when someone commented on or liked a post that was set to "Public" (even if it was on a person's page who is not a mutual friend) and it would show up in your newsfeed?  It seems to have stopped and I'm wondering if Facebook finally got the message that it was a horrible feature or if I just clicked "Hide Post" enough times to defeat the algorithm.