Etiquette Hell

General Etiquette => Life...in general => Dating => Topic started by: afbluebelle on April 02, 2008, 07:28:30 AM

Title: You've got to be kidding me.... Now its the last update...#92
Post by: afbluebelle on April 02, 2008, 07:28:30 AM
Otherwise known as "I am a flaming hot man stealer"  ::)

I got my butt chewed up and down the flightline today by a mean, delusional woman.

Background:  Back when I was just Blue.  Blue goes to college.  Blue gets bored. Blue goes to basic training.  Blue meets Brother Flight Boy (BFB).    BFB and (now AF)Blue become battle buddies and best friends.  BFB gets stationed in Georgia, afblue gets Alaska. 

Time goes by

...
...
...

BFB marries Girl From Home.  GFH never meets AFblue, because she is in Alaska.  BFB and AFblue still keep in touch.

More time.

...
...
...

Present day.  BFB and I are married to our respective partners.  I'd go as far to say that the marriages are fuinctional and happy (DH and I had a large bump a few weeks ago, but we are working through things)   BFB and I hang out sometimes on our lunch breaks, along with three or four other people.  Thats it.  We wanted to get togehter for dinner with respective spouses but the idea got shot down by GFH.  She said she didn't have enough time with BFB as it is, so no sharing.  Fair enough.

I  never thought there was a problem... I talk to my friend, we b.s. about our funny basic/tech school shenanigans and compare battle scars and stories.  Apparently, on my lunch breaks (only time I get with him) I have been throwing my body at him and trying to seduce him.  I am pure evil and ave several Jezebel like qualities, and I sell myself for money.

Okay.... yeah.   No.

This is a guy who has seen me go 6 days without a shower. A guy who has laughed at me pour mud out of my boots.  He has seen me with blood gushing down my head from an evil plane wing, and I've seen him toss his cookies on a drill instructor's boot.

Yep... I'm a heartthrob :P


What is a an E-Hell approved way to laugh in someone's face when they accuse you of being too sexy around thier husband?  Unless he gets all hot and bothered by jet fuel, grease, and spit shined boots, I think Evil GFBH is bat poo crazy.

Yeah... I totally laughed the whole time.  Mea culpa, mea culpa.  I just need advice on what to do next time.
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me....
Post by: Ondine on April 02, 2008, 07:35:54 AM
Afbluebelle, is it a bad thing that I'm laughing at this story?

Just one question: Has his wife ever met you? Is there a way that you, DH, your friend and his wife can all go for dinner together so that she can see that you are in a happy, healthy relationship?

If that doesn't work, well, I'm not sure what to do - I had to cut a friend out of my life cause she wanted my guy, and she's engaged.
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me....
Post by: afbluebelle on April 02, 2008, 07:47:17 AM
Nope... I offered to get together, but she always said no.


I thought it was funny myself.  Which made her madder... which made me laugh harder.  What a vicious cycle!  :D


part of me wants to feel bad for her, because she doesn't seem like she is very happy, and BFB says that she has had a lot of self esteem issues (told me in tech school, before I became a harlot :P)

I guess I have always been one of the guys, so the role of sexpot just doesn't seem to fit.  I'm still laughing. >:D
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me....
Post by: kethria on April 02, 2008, 08:34:43 AM
Sounds like my ex roommates ladylove NG. She's basically banned him from seeing me. Yes... because if I wanted him I'd have made a move long before she was in the picture. :P
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me....
Post by: mlkind1789 on April 02, 2008, 09:54:51 AM
Sadly, I think there is little you can do.  When I was in high School my best friend was a guy.  I asked him to stand up for me in my wedding but he had to decline due to obligations for the Naval Academy.  He ended up marrying a girl he graduated from the academy with and that was pretty much the end of our closeness. 

I told him several times that I wanted to meet her because I felt so close to him that I was sure if he loved her then I would too, and since he and my hubby got along so well I was sure we could have a lot of fun when they were in town.  Well, I heard through the grapevine from his sister and several friends that she kept shooting it down because she was jealous that he was so close to another female he wasn't related to.  J was aware of her jealousy, he just didn't push her to meet me and see that I was not anything even closely resembling a threat. 

I still get an email very occasionally, but our friendship is nothing like it used to be and that makes me very sad.

I guess the point is, unless he is willing to stand up to her and tell her to suck it up and get over her delusions then it isn't going to get any better.  Sorry.   :(
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me....
Post by: Sophia on April 02, 2008, 10:26:02 AM
So, is the wife of BTB and the bat-poo crazy woman the same? 

I knew a woman like that, once.  She was the girlfriend of my boss and my friend.  Since he was my boss, and we needed to watch each other's back for office politics, there was really no way for us to stop associating.  What is weird was that she was drop-dead gorgeous.  Even her at 40, she looked better than me at 20.  When I first met her at some company party, her daughter was also there for some reason.  They both glared at me.  The girlfriend made it really clear that she was living with my boss.  I answered, "It isn't any of my business if you two sleep hanging from the ceiling by your feet like bats.  So, it certainly isn't any of business where your toothbrush is located."  She ended up driving my boss away with her jealousy, and he married a well-adjusted even more stunningly attractive woman. 
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me....
Post by: Sabbyfrog2 on April 02, 2008, 03:01:44 PM



Afbluebelle, is it a bad thing that I'm laughing at this story?

Just one question: Has his wife ever met you? Is there a way that you, DH, your friend and his wife can all go for dinner together so that she can see that you are in a happy, healthy rel@tionship?

If that doesn't work, well, I'm not sure what to do - I had to cut a friend out of my life cause she wanted my guy, and she's engaged.

I am sorry but I started laughing too...
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me....
Post by: Texas Mom on April 02, 2008, 03:13:04 PM
She came out on the flight line (while I assume you were on duty) to confront you because you are "too sexy"?
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me....
Post by: auntmeegs on April 02, 2008, 04:10:17 PM
Iím not fooled.  AFbluebelle, I bet you look dead sexy covered in grease and jet fuel.  Iím glad the wife is on to you.   :D
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me....
Post by: Gwywnnydd on April 02, 2008, 04:32:46 PM
Iím not fooled.  AFbluebelle, I bet you look dead sexy covered in grease and jet fuel.  Iím glad the wife is on to you.   :D
You know, now I'm picturing that Shakira video... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-LaQ3d5-_XU (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-LaQ3d5-_XU)
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me....
Post by: afbluebelle on April 02, 2008, 07:13:41 PM
She came out on the flight line (while I assume you were on duty) to confront you because you are "too sexy"?

Not breaking red near the planes, but to our outdoor break area away from the aircraft.  It is a nifty gazebo with picnic tables and everything. 

No one knew they were getting lunch and a show that day ;D
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me....
Post by: blue2000 on April 02, 2008, 07:54:00 PM
She came out on the flight line (while I assume you were on duty) to confront you because you are "too sexy"?

Not breaking red near the planes, but to our outdoor break area away from the aircraft.  It is a nifty gazebo with picnic tables and everything. 

No one knew they were getting lunch and a show that day ;D

Ok, now I'm snickering.

I just have this image of a dinner-theatre production - Dolled-up Blonde sashays over to the table to confront the harlot who is stealing her MAN. Harlot is dressed stylishly in military coveralls decorated with only the finest grease and dirt.

Dolled-up Blonde presents her arguments, jabbing at Harlot with long red nails (done just for this occasion).

SHOCKER - Harlot is totally unappreciative of the speech and the freshly done nails!! In fact, she laughs at the idea of leaving Dolled-up Blonde's MAN alone!! She seems to be totally shameless!! And the cads that work with her are GIGGLING.

Dolled-up Blonde leaves in a stylishly orchestrated huff. Harlot and Cads continue giggling as the curtain falls.

The audience is hushed. Will Harlot repent of her evil ways and stay away from the MAN? Or will she continue to entice him with her grease-stained gorgeousness??

Stay tuned!!
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me....
Post by: afbluebelle on April 02, 2008, 08:12:27 PM
Yeah, I was hoping the guys would break out into a chorus line while singing "The Beast and The Harlot" by Avenged Sevenfold.  >:D
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me....
Post by: gibsongirl on April 02, 2008, 08:13:51 PM
Some of the things you described,



This is a guy who has seen me go 6 days without a shower. A guy who has laughed at me pour mud out of my boots.  He has seen me with blood gushing down my head from an evil plane wing, and I've seen him toss his cookies on a drill instructor's boot.


are not so much sexy as intimate.  Perhaps she is jealous of what she sees between the two of you, and the only way she can think to say, "HEY, my husband is supposed to be my best friend, but instead he's your best friend, what gives???"  is to accuse you of throwing yourself at him. 

While your story is funny, and I think she is indeed bat poo crazy, I feel sorry for her.  Perhaps you could suggest he could spend some lunches with her.
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me....
Post by: Clara Bow on April 02, 2008, 09:11:51 PM
There is nothing like a woman in camo, covered in grease and jet fuel, reeking of BO and bootblack. Man, I'm not even into girls and I'm getting all of a dither.
Seriously? Around these parts we say a bit dog will squeal. I wonder what she's feeling guilty about that has her accusing him?
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me....
Post by: blarg314 on April 02, 2008, 09:47:43 PM

Honestly, I think laughing was the best thing you could do - it clearly indicates to both her and everyone around that her assertions are totally off the wall and that she's being ridiculous.

I figure if someone is flat-out unwilling to meet with their spouse's same sex friend and partner in a social situation, then they waive any legitimacy behind their claims of seduction, inappropriate behaviour, or other issues. 
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me....
Post by: nolechica on April 03, 2008, 02:36:08 AM
I'm not married, but are you sure BFB isn't my best friend?  His girlfriends always treated me strangely, but he never saw it, as they were his lover, but I was his best friend.  If I'd wanted to be a threat, it would've happened.
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me....
Post by: hannahmollysmom on April 03, 2008, 02:53:15 AM
The Ex. always said it didn't matter about the male friends I had prior to meeting him as long as I didn't sleep with them. That wasn't true. He was extremely jealous. If I bought sexy underwear he would question who I bought them for. How about him or me because I wanted to feel sexy! Very insecure. The marriage was going downhill when I ran into a friend (before Ex.) who was down on his luck. Lost his 20 year job, didn't know anyone in the area, etc. Me, being the "Social Worker" type, took this person under her wing. Nothing romantic involved. After 17 years of being accused of having affairs, (never did) I left.

In conclusion of my novel,  ::)It is very difficult for an unsecure person and a secure person, that you obviously are, to have a relationship without the unsecure person always being suspcious. If you cannot have confidence in your mate, then things will not work out. It gets very old, fast!
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me....
Post by: KarenH on April 03, 2008, 03:17:50 AM
When I was in the Army, we active duty females would occasionally be accused of romping with the married males while we were out in the field.

Imagine, if you will, heading to the Bavarian mountains (along the border of the Czech Republic, rather than the Alps, but still...) in January, when there's been snow on the ground since the beginning of October, and the 6 foot tall road markers stick out about a foot from the snow cover.  You're going to be out there in a canvas tent and if you're lucky, you'll have a pot bellied stove.  But you might not.  Or it might malfunction.  You're not going to be seeing the inside off a bathroom (or even latrine) for the duration (usually about 2 weeks, but sometimes 3).  Fortunately, it's the 80s, so you still have a steel pot (helmet) that you can use for a wash basin....in REALLY cold water.

anyone who thinks these conditions are even REMOTELY conducive to s*e*x*ing it up with the boys: average daily high temps of about 20 below (F), no bath for the next two weeks...is clearly smoking the GOOD stuff and should be sharing, not accusing you of harlotry.  Even the momentary advantage of sharing body heat is overcome and surpassed by the ewwwwww of making the showerless conditions worse.

My usual response was an eyeroll and, "Lady, not even on a BET..."  Whether they believed me or not?  I dunno.  But it wasn't worth the effort of working that hard for.
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me....
Post by: lady_disdain on April 05, 2008, 09:41:14 PM
Your story sounds so familiar...

I went to military college. 100 guys, 10 gals. In my class, 20 guys and little old me. Yup, a lot of jealous girlfriends. One of them would continously erase my number from her BF phone (really great, specially when he has to give me an urgent message from the captain and suddenly he doesn't have my number) and e-mails in his inbox (because, of course, asking him how to solve a triple integral in an imaginary field is a code for hanky-panky).
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me....
Post by: Warbaby on April 06, 2008, 09:51:23 AM
Thank all of you present and former servicewomen for giving this retired SFC the best laugh of the whole week!

First of all, hanky-panky with a fellow servicemember felt waaay too much like lusting after one's own sister to me and most other men.

Second, POD on field conditions.  KarenH, been there, done that, and got the t-shirt.  I think you and I must have been in Germany at pretty close to the same areas, but at different times.

Last, but not least, in my entire career, I think I only met one female soldier that destroyed any respect I might have had for her and it wasn't hanky-panky that did it.

For the record:  I think all the women who have what it takes to put on that uniform are beautiful.  Even covered in jet fuel, grease, and smelling of Kiwi shoe polish!
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me.... Amusive non- update on pg 2
Post by: afbluebelle on April 06, 2008, 11:21:35 AM
Slightly interesting non update:

We all might be going to Vegas this month! I wonder who she will worry about more, the fancy ladies or this dirty one?

In all seriousness, I was talking to another friend of mine from training days and his wife.  Friend's wife said that at first she was pretty jealous and intimidated by the women in his shop, because they know and share a huge part of her husband's life, and have an understanding of it that she will never have.  I guess it makes a little bit more sense... but I'm still boggled by it.
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me....
Post by: Ondine on April 06, 2008, 01:25:39 PM
I hope all goes well for you, afbluebelle. I don't get the jealousy thing either - I mean, I've been jealous of other women my ex was hanging out with, but that's because 99% of the time, they were doing a lot more than just going for coffee together. My b/f now has female friends, and I'm cool with that, because he's open and honest with me. I have male friends, and he trusts me - it's all about trust.

I wonder if her jealousy doesn't stem from other factors, and you are just the person (conviently for her) there for her to point the finger at?

Oh and btw - you do have a pic of yourself in uniform somewhere here, and you look smokin' in camo. :)
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me.... Amusive non- update on pg 2
Post by: Warbaby on April 06, 2008, 01:28:32 PM
Slightly interesting non update:

We all might be going to Vegas this month! I wonder who she will worry about more, the fancy ladies or this dirty one?

In all seriousness, I was talking to another friend of mine from training days and his wife.  Friend's wife said that at first she was pretty jealous and intimidated by the women in his shop, because they know and share a huge part of her husband's life, and have an understanding of it that she will never have.  I guess it makes a little bit more sense... but I'm still boggled by it.

You've hit the nail on the head!  Our comrades-in-arms, of whatever gender, share something that no one who has never been there can ever fully understand.  I will also say that, in some respects, there is a closer relationship there than many husbands and wives have.  My guess is that it's the knowledge deep within each of us who have worn, or are wearing, the uniform, that our very lives depended on the guy or girl next to us.
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me....
Post by: KarenH on April 07, 2008, 01:23:09 AM

Second, POD on field conditions.  KarenH, been there, done that, and got the t-shirt.  I think you and I must have been in Germany at pretty close to the same areas, but at different times.


Probably.  I was with the 501st MI BN (out of the 1st Armored Division) back in the early 80s--1981-1983.
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me....
Post by: littleoats on April 07, 2008, 09:29:40 AM
I have a theory that people push their faults on other people.  My mother is a chronic liar and she always assumes others are lying to her.  I doubt she's cheating but I think she might have a somewhat flirtatious relationship going on with a male friend and she assumes that you're doing that same.  She's probably threatened because you've done stuff with him that she couldn't possibly and have bonds with him that she really can't understand.

I wouldn't laugh at her because she'll probably take that as a coverup.  Just calmly explain that you're just friends and explain why you really couldn't think of him that way.
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me....
Post by: blarg314 on April 07, 2008, 09:03:47 PM
I have a theory that people push their faults on other people.  My mother is a chronic liar and she always assumes others are lying to her. 

That's definitely true, and it works the other way too. Someone who is honest and transparent and automatically treats their partner with respect and consideration tends to expect the other person to do the same, and can get blindsided when someone turns out to be a total creep. People who cheat tend to assume their partner will do so given the opportunity, people who are faithful will assume that their partner will be the same way.

That links into my theory about straight guys who are really paranoid about being near gay guys, on the assumption that they're going to try to take advantage of them. The straight guy is generally of the type who tends to look at a woman and think "gee, I wonder what she'd be like in bed/naked" as the first response. So he figures a gay guy is naturally going to react the same way to all other men, and as the straight guy is such a stud muffin, the gay guy *obviously* wants him and will make a move. It can be kind of funny to watch at times.


Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me....
Post by: afbluebelle on April 08, 2008, 09:56:45 PM
(http://i272.photobucket.com/albums/jj195/deeann7769/04-08-08_0455.jpg)

Rawr... Here I am doing my best Shakira dirty seductress pose.
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me....
Post by: Scritzy on April 08, 2008, 11:25:09 PM
I'm too sexy for my fuel ... too sexy for my grease ... too sexy for my mud, TOO SEXY!

Sorry, couldn't resist. ;D
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me....
Post by: gibsongirl on April 09, 2008, 07:33:14 AM
Woo HOO!!!  FWEEEET!  and other whistle noises...
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me....
Post by: LadyClaire on April 09, 2008, 08:25:18 AM
A few years ago, one of DF's friends started dating a girl he met at work. The first time she met me, she became convinced that he and I were sleeping together.

Nevermind that during the course of that night I'd said maybe 2 words to him because I ended up falling asleep on the couch. Nevermind that I'd never even been alone with him, except for one time months earlier when he and I went on a taco bell run for DF and the other guys and were gone for 15 minutes tops. Nope, she was absolutely convinced that we were fooling around.  ::)

He ended up dumping her shortly afterwards. I'm sure she blamed me for it.
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me....
Post by: Hawkwatcher on April 09, 2008, 05:39:35 PM
I have a theory that people push their faults on other people.  My mother is a chronic liar and she always assumes others are lying to her.  I doubt she's cheating but I think she might have a somewhat flirtatious rel@tionship going on with a male friend and she assumes that you're doing that same.  She's probably threatened because you've done stuff with him that she couldn't possibly and have bonds with him that she really can't understand.

I wouldn't laugh at her because she'll probably take that as a coverup.  Just calmly explain that you're just friends and explain why you really couldn't think of him that way.

I am not sure that afbluebelle can say anything to assure this woman she is not after her man.  However, if afbluebell and this woman share a mutual friend, perhaps the mutual friend can have a talk with her.
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me....
Post by: Warbaby on April 10, 2008, 11:19:10 AM
(http://i272.photobucket.com/albums/jj195/deeann7769/04-08-08_0455.jpg)

Rawr... Here I am doing my best Shakira dirty seductress pose.

Hooooah!!  Who says our servicewomen don't rock?!!
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me....
Post by: joraemi on April 10, 2008, 02:17:17 PM
When I was in the Army, we active duty females would occasionally be accused of romping with the married males while we were out in the field.

Imagine, if you will, heading to the Bavarian mountains (along the border of the Czech Republic, rather than the Alps, but still...) in January, when there's been snow on the ground since the beginning of October, and the 6 foot tall road markers stick out about a foot from the snow cover.  You're going to be out there in a canvas tent and if you're lucky, you'll have a pot bellied stove.  But you might not.  Or it might malfunction.  You're not going to be seeing the inside off a bathroom (or even latrine) for the duration (usually about 2 weeks, but sometimes 3).  Fortunately, it's the 80s, so you still have a steel pot (helmet) that you can use for a wash basin....in REALLY cold water.

anyone who thinks these conditions are even REMOTELY conducive to s*e*x*ing it up with the boys: average daily high temps of about 20 below (F), no bath for the next two weeks...is clearly smoking the GOOD stuff and should be sharing, not accusing you of harlotry.  Even the momentary advantage of sharing body heat is overcome and surpassed by the ewwwwww of making the showerless conditions worse.

My usual response was an eyeroll and, "Lady, not even on a BET..."  Whether they believed me or not?  I dunno.  But it wasn't worth the effort of working that hard for.

OT
Geography is totally NOT my thing - were you near Wildflecken?

Also - kudos to you for still looking hot enough to make the GF sweat.   ;)
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me....
Post by: TychaBrahe on April 10, 2008, 05:09:06 PM
(http://i272.photobucket.com/albums/jj195/deeann7769/04-08-08_0455.jpg)

Rawr... Here I am doing my best Shakira dirty seductress pose.

Um, it's not working, but do you think you could arrange an introduction to that adorable fighter jet behind you?
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me....
Post by: grinningcomb on April 10, 2008, 07:53:31 PM
I just wanted to say I COMPLETELY understand where you are coming from.  I am the only female where I work out of the 34 employees that we have there (including the owners).  And I am friends with some of the guys.  Hey it happens you become friends with some of your co-workers.  And two of the women there have CALLED my cell phone to chew me out for trying to "steal their man"  ::) ::) ::)  Sorry married here and have been with my hubby for 8 years I have no desire to steal someone away from their SO. 

Sorry you are having to deal with this.  It's a cruddy situation.  No real advice cause I don't know what to do myself other than ignore them.  And yes I've tried to have them come do something with my husband and I so that they can hopefully see how happily married I am and it didn't work for me either.
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me....
Post by: alli_wan on April 10, 2008, 08:39:46 PM
Sadly, I think there is little you can do.  When I was in high School my best friend was a guy.  I asked him to stand up for me in my wedding but he had to decline due to obligations for the Naval Academy.  He ended up marrying a girl he graduated from the academy with and that was pretty much the end of our closeness. 

I told him several times that I wanted to meet her because I felt so close to him that I was sure if he loved her then I would too, and since he and my hubby got along so well I was sure we could have a lot of fun when they were in town.  Well, I heard through the grapevine from his sister and several friends that she kept shooting it down because she was jealous that he was so close to another female he wasn't related to.  J was aware of her jealousy, he just didn't push her to meet me and see that I was not anything even closely resembling a threat. 

I still get an email very occasionally, but our friendship is nothing like it used to be and that makes me very sad.

I guess the point is, unless he is willing to stand up to her and tell her to suck it up and get over her delusions then it isn't going to get any better.  Sorry.   :(

This may be less a case of not standing up to her than standing by her.  His closeness to you makes her uncomfortable, and his loyalty should be to her, not you.  There isn't anything you can do, and the only way things are going to change is if she ever feels you aren't a threat.

There is also the possibility (in many cases) that you are a threat, at least in that the husband in question would try something if given the chance.
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me....
Post by: afbluebelle on April 13, 2008, 02:40:59 AM
Oh, by no means do I think that his loyalty should be to me... that is just crazy talk.  They have a KID together, I think that trumps just about anything that friendship offers :P

And as for the attraction thing, who knows?  My radar is notorious for being WAY off when it comes to what males think about me.  I really don't think he is, but if she is afraid that he is, there isn't anything I can say that would end it.

I didn't get yelled at again, so maybe she has cooled her jets.  I'll probably do my traditional monthly invite next month as usual, and hopefully she will say yes.  I would really hate to see the mayhem that would ensue when/if we deploy...  Supervisors don't take to kindly to numerous calls a day when you are on the other side of the world and the phone lines are needed for more than paranoid spouses.
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me....
Post by: Warbaby on April 13, 2008, 07:27:06 AM
Question:  I would presume that you are not the only married female service member in your squadron.  Would it be possible to have a squadron Married Couples event so that the non-service member spouses could meet each other and the people his/her spouse are serving with?

I did something similar on a platoon level in Germany and it seemed to defuse a lot of potential problems.

Again, what seems to set most spouses off is that they don't understand the relationship between servicemembers.  Unfortunately, it seems to be one of those things that doesn't lend itself well to explanation.
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me....
Post by: Sophia on April 13, 2008, 10:15:57 AM
I've had that reaction a lot.  I am not in the military, but I do like some traditionally 'male' things.  I am an Engineer which meant engineering and science classes.  I am in a Single Malt drinking group ...many other things which many women can't understand why a woman would like.   

I have learned to tread very carefully, because a jealous woman can really ruin the group dynamics.    FH knows that I will stick closer to him, and that we will be more affectionate.  If he can't come to a group function, I talk mostly to other women.
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me....
Post by: afbluebelle on April 13, 2008, 03:36:07 PM
Question:  I would presume that you are not the only married female service member in your squadron.  Would it be possible to have a squadron Married Couples event so that the non-service member spouses could meet each other and the people his/her spouse are serving with?

I did something similar on a platoon level in Germany and it seemed to defuse a lot of potential problems.

Again, what seems to set most spouses off is that they don't understand the rel@tionship between servicemembers.  Unfortunately, it seems to be one of those things that doesn't lend itself well to explanation.


I never ven thought about that!  We are both members of the Spouse's Club (DH didn't want to join the cackle club, but I like that they put on events for AD, and am kind of a liason of sorts)  I should talk to them and see about getting together for an informal Dining Out.

We have a yearly Family BBQ, but that is it.  A night of dinner w/o the kids sounds like a good idea!
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me....
Post by: Warbaby on April 13, 2008, 05:46:12 PM
Question:  I would presume that you are not the only married female service member in your squadron.  Would it be possible to have a squadron Married Couples event so that the non-service member spouses could meet each other and the people his/her spouse are serving with?

I did something similar on a platoon level in Germany and it seemed to defuse a lot of potential problems.

Again, what seems to set most spouses off is that they don't understand the rel@tionship between servicemembers.  Unfortunately, it seems to be one of those things that doesn't lend itself well to explanation.


I never ven thought about that!  We are both members of the Spouse's Club (DH didn't want to join the cackle club, but I like that they put on events for AD, and am kind of a liason of sorts)  I should talk to them and see about getting together for an informal Dining Out.

We have a yearly Family BBQ, but that is it.  A night of dinner w/o the kids sounds like a good idea!

That's why you Air Farce Force types should be asking us old Army sergeants about such things! >:D

An informal Dining Out would probably be right on the money.  The trick is to get the babysitting organized so that everyone gets a chance to come.  Good luck with it.
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me....
Post by: mbt on April 13, 2008, 06:58:03 PM
Hey Blue, this woman IS aware that you know how to use a machine gun, right? 
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me.... the Saga Continues!
Post by: afbluebelle on April 19, 2008, 06:42:59 PM
So, Basic Buddy and I are going to be in Vegas together.  For a month.  Where we will apparently be getting quickie divorces and doing a Vegas quickie wedding ::)

This would be funny, but when I get my butt hauled in and asked what is going on between BB and I, the funny stops.  Cheating on a spouse is against the UCMJ and punishable by death in a time of war (I love that line ;D)  I wouldn't be shot but it would be a tone of trouble, and just a delusional accusation can start a bunch of suspicions and gossip.

So Evil GFH, if you are reading this, thanks for ruining my TDY.  I know have to be with one of my shopmates at all times as a CYA measure, or stuck in my room.  I value my career more than having fun, but I really hope something happens to Evil GFH so my misery will not be in vain.  She is ticking me off.


She got the idea of the quickie divorce/wedding from BB mentioning that a few guys were going to see an Elvis impersonater.  Bit of a stretch, dontcha think?
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me.... the Saga Continues!
Post by: Clara Bow on April 19, 2008, 06:56:46 PM
Tell me what direction you are in from North Florida...it's time for me to get out the winged monkeys.
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me.... the Saga Continues!
Post by: Cracea on April 19, 2008, 07:04:20 PM
She's starting stuff with your command?  Does she not realize this crap can negatively affect his career as well?  If they didn't have a child together I'd say he should dump her.  Someone that insecure is just trouble.

Enjoy your time in Vegas as much as you can.  I recommend Thunder from Down Under.  They are way more entertaining than Elvis impersonators  >:D
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me.... the Saga Continues!
Post by: Warbaby on April 19, 2008, 07:06:20 PM
Afbluebelle, I sincerely hope that you don't mean all this came to the attention of your command structure.

Been there, done that, got the T-shirt when one of my soldiers accused me of "making eyes" at his wife.  It would not have been funny at all if my wife had not been standing right beside me at the time of the alleged incident and told the commander exactly what happened.

Your friend's wife needs to a) get a grip on reality and b) understand that she is on the verge of ruining his career by her actions.
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me.... the Saga Continues!
Post by: amaiaisabella on April 19, 2008, 07:12:18 PM
Why is this guy still WITH her? ???
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me.... the Saga Continues!
Post by: Texas Mom on April 19, 2008, 07:45:09 PM
Your friend's wife needs to a) get a grip on reality and b) understand that she is on the verge of ruining his career by her actions.

She's NOT his wife; she's his baby momma.  I suspect therein lies one of the root causes of her insecurity.
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me.... the Saga Continues!
Post by: Scritzy on April 19, 2008, 08:55:08 PM
Hey, I had my picture taken with Elvis when I was in Vegas! Does that mean I divorced Chip and married Elvis?

What a loon.  ::)
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me.... the Saga Continues!
Post by: afbluebelle on April 20, 2008, 01:56:58 AM
Afbluebelle, I sincerely hope that you don't mean all this came to the attention of your command structure.


Yep... she called up my flight chief.  My supervision realizes it is a total joke, but they are making sure that I don't get thrown under the bus.

And they are married... but for how long I don't know.  She is pretty nuts (about all females, I guess) and BB really likes being in the military, so who knows?  I do know that she is stirring up a ton of trouble and no one is too thrilled with her right now.  I'm just trying to keep a sense of humor about it, and since BB and I haven't spoken alone since I got stationed here (and know I totally won't) I don't have anything to seriously worry about.  I just dislike jealous, petty people who try to involve me in their drama ;) >:(

Evilblue wants to take some pictures of BB with some hot showgirls and send them to her anonymously.  I gave her a paddleball and she is distracted for now (ooooo, a shiny thing!)
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me.... the Saga Continues!
Post by: Warbaby on April 20, 2008, 10:38:55 AM
Afbluebelle, I sincerely hope that you don't mean all this came to the attention of your command structure.


Yep... she called up my flight chief.  My supervision realizes it is a total joke, but they are making sure that I don't get thrown under the bus.

And they are married... but for how long I don't know.  She is pretty nuts (about all females, I guess) and BB really likes being in the military, so who knows?  I do know that she is stirring up a ton of trouble and no one is too thrilled with her right now.  I'm just trying to keep a sense of humor about it, and since BB and I haven't spoken alone since I got stationed here (and know I totally won't) I don't have anything to seriously worry about.  I just dislike jealous, petty people who try to involve me in their drama ;) >:(

Evilblue wants to take some pictures of BB with some hot showgirls and send them to her anonymously.  I gave her a paddleball and she is distracted for now (ooooo, a shiny thing!)

I'm glad your superiors realize it is a joke.

EvilWarbaby says take the pictures in Vegas, make sure the showgirls have less on than usual, and send her the whole package.  Your male counterparts would probably jump on this bandwagon like ducks on junebugs! >:D

NiceWarbaby has no comment regarding the pictures.  Just a nontypical evil smile. ;D
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me.... the Saga Continues!
Post by: mbt on April 20, 2008, 12:43:43 PM
Just out of curiosity, does BB say anything to this woman at all about her behavior?  She's stepping way across some boundary lines here.
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me.... the Saga Continues!
Post by: Hawkwatcher on April 20, 2008, 02:05:51 PM
Is there anyone who can talk to this woman and explain what she has to lose from these accusations?  Even if her husband is not disciplined for adultery, I doubt her accusations are endearing her to her husband's superior officers.     
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me.... the Saga Continues!
Post by: Warbaby on April 20, 2008, 06:57:26 PM
Is there anyone who can talk to this woman and explain what she has to lose from these accusations?  Even if her husband is not disciplined for adultery, I doubt her accusations are endearing her to her husband's superior officers.     

Under the UCMJ, it takes a lot of proof, like getting caught in the act, for that charge to stick.  Ordinarily, an Article 32 investigation (equivalent to a civilian grand jury) will see such a charge thrown out.

I'll guarantee that her actions are giving him a name with his officers and senior noncoms.

EvilWarbaby just said, "Adultery?  You mean you can be punished for putting bad water in good whiskey?" >:D
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me.... the Saga Continues!
Post by: afbluebelle on April 20, 2008, 09:16:55 PM
Just out of curiosity, does BB say anything to this woman at all about her behavior?  She's stepping way across some boundary lines here.

He has talked to her several times, and had a group discussion with his supervisor... butshe is just a bit crazy.  I didn't realize how bad it was until I heard (from his supervisor) how many other women she has gone all nutso on.

I really wished that we could have all gotten along, but now I am glad she doesn't want to talk to me.  I don't want to catch the crazy ;D  She is only making her DH look bad through her actions, and unfortunately for him, his spouse is seeming to be a giant speedbump in his career.  I will support him if he chooses to not talk to me anymore than is necessary for our job, but we all would rather see her wisen up, or him get out.  It sounds harsh, but their marriage is NOT compatible with military life.  I'm sure I will come back with great Vegas tales, and if we are on the same deployment....

Lets just say you all will probably be very amused.
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me.... the Saga Continues!
Post by: VorFemme on April 20, 2008, 11:36:16 PM
AFBlueBelle - it sounds like she was seriously cheated on by somebody in the past - or her momma was...........

But the bee in her bonnet has grown to gargantuan proportions and she is clearly off her rocker.  Good for the others in the unit to set you up with WITNESSES - but I don't think that it is going to make a difference in her accusations - because she is clearly not living in this time line..........but some alternate world where EVERYONE cheats on her............even her baby has another momma on the side.........
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me.... the Saga Continues!
Post by: immadz on April 20, 2008, 11:40:47 PM
Hey, I had my picture taken with Elvis when I was in Vegas! Does that mean I divorced Chip and married Elvis?

What a loon.  ::)
Oh my God Scritzy, thats exactly what it means. Now you and Chip are living in sin... I think.....
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me.... the Saga Continues!
Post by: Stormtreader on April 21, 2008, 09:51:17 AM
Hey, I had my picture taken with Elvis when I was in Vegas! Does that mean I divorced Chip and married Elvis?

Uuh huuh huuh!

Sorry, couldnt resist! :D
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me.... the Saga Continues!
Post by: smidget23 on April 21, 2008, 07:56:09 PM
Honestly, my advice is to just drop them and stay away. Yeah it sucks that you're losing a long-time friend, but on the other hand, you're also losing a source of additional unwanted stress (the lovely wife). Your career is more than worth it. And it doesn't really sound like their marriage is going to last much longer if he stays in the military.

Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me.... the Saga Continues!
Post by: afbluebelle on April 21, 2008, 08:06:27 PM
I don't hang out with him at lunch anymore, but we do have to work together at times.  I have just made sure that whenever we are on a job together, there is at least two witnesses/people with us as well, and one of them needs to be a sergeant or higher.  BB is an awesome guy, but hanging out anymore than necessary puts stress on him that he doesn't need, and puts me through stress as well.  He knows that if EvilGFH gets uncrazy, or he gets divorced, I will be there as a friend.  But in the interest in his marriage and my sanity, I am keeping as far away from this one as possible.


Although a teeny tiny part of me wants to be completely evil just to see what would happen :-\ :-[  I was always the kid who tried to mix random household chemicals to see what kind of reaction I could get. Stuff blowing up in your face can be fun.... at least as long as you keep your eyebrows ;D
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me.... the Saga Continues!
Post by: Scritzy on April 21, 2008, 08:49:28 PM
Well, you know that Elvis ... he's just a hunka hunka burnin' love ...

And Chip got his picture taken with a showgirl, so I guess we're even.
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me.... the Saga Continues!
Post by: Team HoundMom on April 21, 2008, 09:21:38 PM
This would be funny, but when I get my butt hauled in and asked what is going on between BB and I, the funny stops.  Cheating on a spouse is against the UCMJ and punishable by death in a time of war (I love that line ;D)  I wouldn't be shot but it would be a tone of trouble, and just a delusional accusation can start a bunch of suspicions and gossip.

So Evil GFH, if you are reading this, thanks for ruining my TDY.  I know have to be with one of my shopmates at all times as a CYA measure, or stuck in my room.

Okay I was laughing with you and enjoying this thread until this part.  Now I feel sick.  That is just awful.  I've been the focus of misplaced jealousy, not as bad as this obviously, and it sucks.  Especially when it involves a close friend.  I have no advice to offer, just wanted to say that you're in my thoughts and I'm hoping that this all blows over.  :'(  Please keep us posted...
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me.... the Saga Continues!
Post by: Sirius on April 22, 2008, 12:02:31 PM
This would be funny, but when I get my butt hauled in and asked what is going on between BB and I, the funny stops.  Cheating on a spouse is against the UCMJ and punishable by death in a time of war (I love that line ;D)  I wouldn't be shot but it would be a tone of trouble, and just a delusional accusation can start a bunch of suspicions and gossip.

So Evil GFH, if you are reading this, thanks for ruining my TDY.  I know have to be with one of my shopmates at all times as a CYA measure, or stuck in my room.

Okay I was laughing with you and enjoying this thread until this part.  Now I feel sick.  That is just awful.  I've been the focus of misplaced jealousy, not as bad as this obviously, and it sucks.  Especially when it involves a close friend.  I have no advice to offer, just wanted to say that you're in my thoughts and I'm hoping that this all blows over.  :'(  Please keep us posted...

Yes, this is terrible.  I ran into people who were very insecure the whole time I worked with the military, though.  I was always careful of my behavior around married men, since I was single up until the final 6 years I worked with the military as a civilian.

The only time it really affected my job was when we got a new sergeant in the records section.  He was a nice guy and good at his job, but when he introduced his wife, who was also active duty Air Force, she gave the women in my office nasty looks and never said a word to us that wasn't absolutely required by the job.  I later found out they had both been married to others when they'd met, so they'd  each dumped their spouses and married each other.  As a result, she was apparently afraid the same thing was going to happen to her, since he'd already proven that he wasn't to be trusted.  Not that I'd be interested in a man who can be charmed away from his wife - hardly.  The funny part was, she was rude to all of the women in our office, even those of us who were long married and/or not a threat in the least.  I was a newlywed at the time, and I worked directly with his wife, so I made a point of talking about Mr. Sirius a lot.  Eventually she thawed, and we got along fairly well until I left that job.       
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me.... the Saga Continues!
Post by: Team HoundMom on April 22, 2008, 01:33:06 PM
Honestly, afbluebelle, if my boyfriend had a friend that is as cool as you sound I would be all over it wanting to hang out with you.   8)
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me.... the Saga Continues! pg 5
Post by: afbluebelle on May 07, 2008, 12:37:06 AM
Just wanted you all to know that I am safely in Vegas, Basic Buddy is not, and his wife hasn't called the hotel searching for him (even though he is still in GA, I wouldn't put it past her)  All is well on this front, but I'm not holding my breath.
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me.... the Saga Continues! pg 5
Post by: JoyinVirginia on May 07, 2008, 01:04:15 AM
Just wanted you all to know that I am safely in Vegas, Basic Buddy is not, and his wife hasn't called the hotel searching for him (even though he is still in GA, I wouldn't put it past her)  All is well on this front, but I'm not holding my breath.

Since he is not there, I hope that means you can go where ever you like, with whoever you like, and have a great time in your free time while you are there. Did her actions cause him to be taken off the trip?
Have fun, you grease-covered temptress, you!
Joy in Virginia
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me.... the Saga Continues! pg 5
Post by: Warbaby on May 09, 2008, 07:00:18 AM
Just wanted you all to know that I am safely in Vegas, Basic Buddy is not, and his wife hasn't called the hotel searching for him (even though he is still in GA, I wouldn't put it past her)  All is well on this front, but I'm not holding my breath.

Since he is not there, I hope that means you can go where ever you like, with whoever you like, and have a great time in your free time while you are there. Did her actions cause him to be taken off the trip?
Have fun, you grease-covered temptress, you!
Joy in Virginia

Hey, if you've never been around our servicewomen when they're all covered in grease, hydraulic fluid, gunpowder, etc., you don't know what hawt is!  

Glad you're having a good trip, afbluebelle!
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me.... the Saga Continues!
Post by: audhs on May 12, 2008, 05:45:00 PM
[
The only time it really affected my job was when we got a new sergeant in the records section.  He was a nice guy and good at his job, but when he introduced his wife, who was also active duty Air Force, she gave the women in my office nasty looks and never said a word to us that wasn't absolutely required by the job.  I later found out they had both been married to others when they'd met, so they'd  each dumped their spouses and married each other.  As a result, she was apparently afraid the same thing was going to happen to her, since he'd already proven that he wasn't to be trusted.  Not that I'd be interested in a man who can be charmed away from his wife - hardly.  The funny part was, she was rude to all of the women in our office, even those of us who were long married and/or not a threat in the least.  I was a newlywed at the time, and I worked directly with his wife, so I made a point of talking about Mr. Sirius a lot.  Eventually she thawed, and we got along fairly well until I left that job.       

I've never been able to figure out why you'd want to married someone who cheated on their first spouse.  ???   I don't think I could live with the paranoia that came from knowing that they could easily do the same thing to me.

I know people can change but I can't imagine being married to someone who I felt threatened by any and all woman that they came in contact with.
 
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me.... the Saga Continues!
Post by: Winterlight on May 13, 2008, 08:39:12 AM
[
The only time it really affected my job was when we got a new sergeant in the records section.  He was a nice guy and good at his job, but when he introduced his wife, who was also active duty Air Force, she gave the women in my office nasty looks and never said a word to us that wasn't absolutely required by the job.  I later found out they had both been married to others when they'd met, so they'd  each dumped their spouses and married each other.  As a result, she was apparently afraid the same thing was going to happen to her, since he'd already proven that he wasn't to be trusted.  Not that I'd be interested in a man who can be charmed away from his wife - hardly.  The funny part was, she was rude to all of the women in our office, even those of us who were long married and/or not a threat in the least.  I was a newlywed at the time, and I worked directly with his wife, so I made a point of talking about Mr. Sirius a lot.  Eventually she thawed, and we got along fairly well until I left that job.       

I've never been able to figure out why you'd want to married someone who cheated on their first spouse.  ???   I don't think I could live with the paranoia that came from knowing that they could easily do the same thing to me.

I know people can change but I can't imagine being married to someone who I felt threatened by any and all woman that they came in contact with.
 

I'm firmly of the belief that the person who marries their cheating partner is creating a job opening.
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me.... the Saga Continues! Update pg 5
Post by: littlelauraj on May 14, 2008, 09:48:52 AM
My ex's "thing" was jealous like this-to the point that she wouldn't allow him to speak with me on the phone without her listening in.  Because she was jealous.  Because he had cheated.  On me, with her.  I severed contact with them over a decade ago, but I often wonder if she ever got over it or if it drove him to cheat again.
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me.... the Saga Continues! Update #72
Post by: afbluebelle on June 22, 2008, 07:19:28 PM
Another thread reminded me of this.

Tiny update:

BB is getting released from prison a divorce.  I am not usually happy to see a marriage break apart, but I really think he is better off without the crazy.

I haven't confirmed the news from him, but my superiors mentioned it to me.  I am still not speaking to him until the storm clouds blow over, but at least the crazy woman won't be trying to bum rush me on my lunch hour.
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me.... the Saga Continues! Update #72
Post by: Team HoundMom on June 22, 2008, 07:22:58 PM
BB is getting released from prison a divorce.

Okay that made me LOL.  Don't worry, my buddy just broke up with his girlfriend after 4 years and I'm so happy because that means he will hang around me again!  :D

Hopefully the storm clouds will blow over soon and things will be right in your world again...
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me.... the Saga Continues! Update #72
Post by: merryns on June 22, 2008, 10:32:35 PM
Another thread reminded me of this.

Tiny update:

BB is getting released from prison a divorce.  I am not usually happy to see a marriage break apart, but I really think he is better off without the crazy.

I haven't confirmed the news from him, but my superiors mentioned it to me.  I am still not speaking to him until the storm clouds blow over, but at least the crazy woman won't be trying to bum rush me on my lunch hour.

I wouldn't count on that. After all, she might see the divorce as ALL YOUR FAULT. Rationality has hardly been her strong point to date.
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me.... the Saga Continues! Update #72
Post by: WildChild@Heart on June 22, 2008, 11:54:40 PM
Another thread reminded me of this.

Tiny update:

BB is getting released from prison a divorce.  I am not usually happy to see a marriage break apart, but I really think he is better off without the crazy.

I haven't confirmed the news from him, but my superiors mentioned it to me.  I am still not speaking to him until the storm clouds blow over, but at least the crazy woman won't be trying to bum rush me on my lunch hour.

U was just thinking the exact same thing. Because none of this could possibly be her fault!

I wouldn't count on that. After all, she might see the divorce as ALL YOUR FAULT. Rationality has hardly been her strong point to date.
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me.... the Saga Continues! Update #72
Post by: afbluebelle on June 23, 2008, 12:37:41 AM
Another thread reminded me of this.

Tiny update:

BB is getting released from prison a divorce.  I am not usually happy to see a marriage break apart, but I really think he is better off without the crazy.

I haven't confirmed the news from him, but my superiors mentioned it to me.  I am still not speaking to him until the storm clouds blow over, but at least the crazy woman won't be trying to bum rush me on my lunch hour.

I wouldn't count on that. After all, she might see the divorce as ALL YOUR FAULT. Rationality has hardly been her strong point to date.

Trust me, the thought crossed my mind.  Luckily (I guess)  I've been away from the home station through the majority of this development (5 weeks in Vegas, 1 1/2 in Tampa with 2 weeks at home inbetween) so I haven't even seen him through this thing.  My supervisors were giving me the heads up  so I could stay clear and not get dragged through the muckage
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me.... the Saga Continues! Update #72
Post by: smidget23 on June 23, 2008, 01:07:53 AM
Good Luck on it. I hate seeing anyone's marriage break up, but I have to admit that you could see this one coming from miles away. In this case, I think I'd only offer support in a very well lit public place with lots of witnesses to account for your actions.
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me.... the Saga Continues! Update #72
Post by: NotCinderell on June 23, 2008, 11:43:32 AM
My sympathies.  I had a very close male friend in college whom I'd hang out with almost every day.  I think at the time we were too immature to explain why we never ended up together, but now, looking back, I think it was because we really loved each other too much and were too incompatible.  Namely, that if we'd gotten into a romantic relationship, it would have ended badly, but as brother/sister best friends, it could go on forever.

Except he married a woman who hates me and I almost never hear from him anymore.  I know I'm not the only female friend who's gotten the silent treatment from him since his marriage, either.  Apparently she doesn't like him having female friends.
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me....
Post by: Gyro Widget on June 23, 2008, 11:48:53 AM
I've had that reaction a lot.  I am not in the military, but I do like some traditionally 'male' things.  I am an Engineer which meant engineering and science classes.  I am in a Single Malt drinking group ...many other things which many women can't understand why a woman would like.   


Same here... its never the men that harass you in engineering, but their girlfriends! A few years ago on the old forum I posted the constant harassment from a male classmates girlfriend.  She would stalk me after every class and accuse me of some really awful things.  She would even slap around the poor guy when he went home in the evening because of it. 
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me.... the Saga Continues! Update #72
Post by: afbluebelle on September 06, 2008, 08:11:39 PM
Final update:

BB is staying married and getting out of the military.  He actually told me this himself (last week) but I have just taken a while to process it.

He looked like he was being led to the gallows when he told me... I know he is unhappy, but he is also the type to do what is best for their kid, and not worry about himself.  I can respect that, but I feel like I was looking at him at his own funeral.

I know I'll never be able to talk to him again since they are staying together, but that is okay.  I just hope that he can be happy, because he is a wonderful person.  He knows that I will be his friend, and that if he needs me I will be there.  I'm just glad I got to say goodbye to him. 


Why do rotten people get such great guys :'(
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me.... the Saga Continues! Update #72
Post by: gibsongirl on September 06, 2008, 09:09:38 PM
Why do rotten people get such great guys :'(

Because great guys are so great, they think everyone else must be too, and they get suckered.  I've seen it happen a lot, and I always feel bad that they are throwing their lives away.
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me.... The End Of The Road! Update #80
Post by: caz on September 06, 2008, 09:59:24 PM
I will give 10000000% on thunder from down under
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me.... The End Of The Road! Update #80
Post by: afbluebelle on September 07, 2008, 02:50:56 AM
I will give 10000000% on thunder from down under

Huh?

Please tell me this isn't refering to "scrabble" skills... :-X 
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me.... The End Of The Road! Update #80
Post by: rashea on September 07, 2008, 09:51:46 AM
I'm sorry. It seems like he got himself sucked in, and doesn't know how to get back out again. If you get to talk to him again, tell him that you will be there for him if he ever needs to get out.
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me.... The End Of The Road! Update #80
Post by: cbcb on July 16, 2011, 08:41:40 PM
Just reading old threads and wondered - any updates on this? afbluebelle, have you talked to your friend since or has there been further news (e.g. of his marriage ending)?
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me.... The End Of The Road! Update #80
Post by: wonderfullyanonymous on July 17, 2011, 09:48:25 AM
Wow, I just read this, not realizing the date on it.

I am curious as well, and I'd like to add that it wasn't the military, it is her. If he stayed married to her, he is as miserable now as he was then.

Someone so lost in jealousy doesn't just stop being jealous, it just gets pointed in another direction.
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me.... The End Of The Road! Update #80
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on July 17, 2011, 10:06:15 AM
This reminds me of when DH reconnected with an old girlfriend from HS on Facebook.  I wasn't threatened at all by her since I'm of the opinion that ex's are ex's for a reason.  In their case it was because they realized they were better off as friends than being in a romantic relationship.

DH kept trying to get the two of us to meet but was having a hard time arranging it and finally got out of the exgf that she was nervous about meeting me because she was worried I'd not like her.   I did eventually get to meet her and we get along just fine. :)
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me.... The End Of The Road! Update #80
Post by: strangetimes on July 17, 2011, 11:13:23 AM
I also just read through this whole saga-poor guy!
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me.... The End Of The Road! Update #80
Post by: joraemi on July 17, 2011, 07:15:02 PM
I just started reading too and thought, "Wow - this sounds just like a thread from a while back!"  LOL - then I noticed the date.

Anything new to report afbluebelle?
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me.... The End Of The Road! Update #80
Post by: Viscountess on July 18, 2011, 12:32:21 AM
Just read through the whole thing.  Your poor friend, afbluebelle. 
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me.... The End Of The Road! Update #80
Post by: Winterlight on July 18, 2011, 09:02:36 AM
Now I'm wondering too.
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me.... The End Of The Road! Update #80
Post by: afbluebelle on July 29, 2011, 06:44:51 AM
I'm seriously laughing right now, because I was looking for this thread to use as an example as "almost unbelievable incidents"

I don't really talk to him anymore. We have both migrated to facebook, and I wished him happy birthday and responded to one comment in a span of 3 years.

He defriended me at some point in the last two months... I'm not worried about it though. I'll still be his friend, but after this incident: http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=41896.0
I tried not to talk to him much. The one comment I made on facebook about 1 1/2 years ago ticked his wife off pretty good, so I am surprised he hadn't defriended me sooner.

Just for the record, the conversation was about funny stuff from the past and I told him that he always was a goober. Then his wife said some things should be left in the past. I am not proud of it, but I actually laughed when I read it. Life is too short to be bitter.
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me.... Now its the last update...#92
Post by: afbluebelle on July 29, 2011, 07:03:29 AM
Logged into myspace just out of curiousity... I only have 5 friends left on there. He is not one of them. So, a very non updatey update, but I guess that is a good thing. :shakes head: I had almost forgotten how crazy she was. Almost.  :P
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me.... the Saga Continues! Update #72
Post by: Team HoundMom on December 17, 2013, 01:44:24 PM
BB is getting released from prison a divorce.

Okay that made me LOL.  Don't worry, my buddy just broke up with his girlfriend after 4 years and I'm so happy because that means he will hang around me again!  :D

I know this thread is a few years old, but I was reading my old posts just for laughs and I saw this one.  My "buddy" that I'm talking about here - we've been married for over two years now.  ;D
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me.... Now its the last update...#92
Post by: HenrysMom on December 17, 2013, 02:42:53 PM
Afbluebelle, whatever happened to BFB and GFH?
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me.... Now its the last update...#92
Post by: Team HoundMom on December 17, 2013, 03:42:35 PM
(Don't expect a fast reply - I know afbluebelle is on deployment right now.)

Stay safe!
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me.... Now its the last update...#92
Post by: HenrysMom on December 18, 2013, 10:02:56 AM
(Don't expect a fast reply - I know afbluebelle is on deployment right now.)

Stay safe!

She's living up to her E-Hell status, then.
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me.... the Saga Continues! Update #72
Post by: Stormtreader on December 18, 2013, 10:41:38 AM
BB is getting released from prison a divorce.

Okay that made me LOL.  Don't worry, my buddy just broke up with his girlfriend after 4 years and I'm so happy because that means he will hang around me again!  :D

I know this thread is a few years old, but I was reading my old posts just for laughs and I saw this one.  My "buddy" that I'm talking about here - we've been married for over two years now.  ;D

Aww, belated congratulations!  ;D
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me.... Now its the last update...#92
Post by: Bees on December 22, 2013, 07:03:55 PM
It's Hurricane marathon that got married right?? not the OP
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me.... Now its the last update...#92
Post by: Outdoor Girl on December 22, 2013, 07:43:13 PM
The OP is already married with a child.   :)
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me.... Now its the last update...#92
Post by: Team HoundMom on December 23, 2013, 10:22:35 AM
It's Hurricane marathon that got married right?? not the OP

Yes - the "buddy" I'm referring to in that post and I got together around that time (June 2008) and got married in August 2011.

I saw my old post referring to my now-husband and thought it was funny.

Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me....
Post by: gmatoy on December 27, 2013, 10:40:11 PM
Thank all of you present and former servicewomen for giving this retired SFC the best laugh of the whole week!

First of all, hanky-panky with a fellow servicemember felt waaay too much like lusting after one's own sister to me and most other men.

Second, POD on field conditions.  KarenH, been there, done that, and got the t-shirt.  I think you and I must have been in Germany at pretty close to the same areas, but at different times.

Last, but not least, in my entire career, I think I only met one female soldier that destroyed any respect I might have had for her and it wasn't hanky-panky that did it.

For the record:  I think all the women who have what it takes to put on that uniform are beautiful.  Even covered in jet fuel, grease, and smelling of Kiwi shoe polish!
This WAC thanks you!
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me.... Now its the last update...#92
Post by: cicero on January 05, 2014, 04:07:17 AM
It's Hurricane marathon that got married right?? not the OP

Yes - the "buddy" I'm referring to in that post and I got together around that time (June 2008) and got married in August 2011.

I saw my old post referring to my now-husband and thought it was funny.
sweet!
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me.... Now its the last update...#92
Post by: Lillie82 on January 13, 2014, 08:13:51 PM
I can't find it here in this thread...but didn't afbluebelle's buddy, who was married to the jealous woman, confess to having feelings for afbluebelle at some point?
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me.... Now its the last update...#92
Post by: afbluebelle on May 08, 2014, 11:28:38 AM
So I'm back in the states, and saw this thread.

Yes, he did say something about feelings..... In an odd, roundabout way, but he did.  That's a big part of the reason why I quit talking to him. The old thread pops up as an error, but he basically said he had a crush on me in tech school. I just figured it best to leave that one alone.

Update on BB:  He wished me Merry Christmas while I was in Afghanistan. I told him one of our other guys we went to basic with said hi (I saw Mutaul Friend at a coffee shop while deployed)  That is about it. We don't talk enough for me to know his status... I'm assuming that he is still married. He re-friend requested me..... and it is sitting there unanswered. I just don't know if I feel like dealing with that :P

I missed you guys =)
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me.... Now its the last update...#92
Post by: Outdoor Girl on May 08, 2014, 12:23:04 PM
We missed you, too.  Glad you're home!
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me.... Now its the last update...#92
Post by: JoyinVirginia on May 09, 2014, 05:56:06 AM
Welcome back, af bluebell!
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me.... Now its the last update...#92
Post by: jedikaiti on May 09, 2014, 02:11:29 PM
We missed you, too. Welcome back!
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me.... Now its the last update...#92
Post by: TurtleDove on May 09, 2014, 02:48:21 PM
Welcome back!  And thank you for your service!
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me.... Now its the last update...#92
Post by: Winterlight on May 10, 2014, 01:02:36 PM
Welcome home!

I wouldn't refriend him at this point. You don't need the potential drama.
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me.... Now its the last update...#92
Post by: SwissArmyGirlfriend on May 12, 2014, 06:20:42 AM
Not to defend the jealous ex specifically,  but in general terms, the knowledge that he did eventually admit to feelings for the OP justifies what made me feel kind of icky and unpleasant about the tone of this entire thread: all the ridiculing and dismissal of the wife's feelings.

Nobody here was a party to that couple's relationship and blowing this unknown woman off as a shallow harpy with no actual knowledge made me feel really sickened.

The wife in question had no right to make OP's life difficult because of her worries. On the other hand, clearly she had something to worry about, if her husband had feelings for OP- and saw fit to express them while inside his marriage. 

I have great sympathy for this woman and if she got any of the same vibe in person as came through in this thread, she must have had a difficult time of it. Too bad respect doesn't extend to people's private matters. Certainly a thread to make light of her marital problems (literally so, look at the title) had/ has no place on an etiquette board?
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me.... Now its the last update...#92
Post by: Seven Ate Nine on May 12, 2014, 10:58:49 AM
Not to defend the jealous ex specifically,  but in general terms, the knowledge that he did eventually admit to feelings for the OP justifies what made me feel kind of icky and unpleasant about the tone of this entire thread: all the ridiculing and dismissal of the wife's feelings.

Nobody here was a party to that couple's relationship and blowing this unknown woman off as a shallow harpy with no actual knowledge made me feel really sickened.

The wife in question had no right to make OP's life difficult because of her worries. On the other hand, clearly she had something to worry about, if her husband had feelings for OP- and saw fit to express them while inside his marriage. 

I have great sympathy for this woman and if she got any of the same vibe in person as came through in this thread, she must have had a difficult time of it. Too bad respect doesn't extend to people's private matters. Certainly a thread to make light of her marital problems (literally so, look at the title) had/ has no place on an etiquette board?

I might have sympathy for her if she had contacted the OP privately.  As it stands, she "chewed [OP's] butt up and down the flight line."  Which means that she made a spectacle of herself, her husband, and OP in front of whomever else was there.  It potentially caused career problems for both her husband and the OP.  She continued the behavior by making false claims to OP's higher ups.  Basically she was deliberately causing trouble because she had jealousy issues.
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me.... Now its the last update...#92
Post by: Another Sarah on May 13, 2014, 10:37:17 AM
Not to defend the jealous ex specifically,  but in general terms, the knowledge that he did eventually admit to feelings for the OP justifies what made me feel kind of icky and unpleasant about the tone of this entire thread: all the ridiculing and dismissal of the wife's feelings.

Nobody here was a party to that couple's relationship and blowing this unknown woman off as a shallow harpy with no actual knowledge made me feel really sickened.

The wife in question had no right to make OP's life difficult because of her worries. On the other hand, clearly she had something to worry about, if her husband had feelings for OP- and saw fit to express them while inside his marriage. 

I have great sympathy for this woman and if she got any of the same vibe in person as came through in this thread, she must have had a difficult time of it. Too bad respect doesn't extend to people's private matters. Certainly a thread to make light of her marital problems (literally so, look at the title) had/ has no place on an etiquette board?

This thread began because the woman marched up to OP in public and started throwing accusations around. I think the thread title is very appropriate - it refers to the fact that it's so out of the blue and unfounded that OP can't believe the woman is serious.

OP was not only not doing anything wrong, she was married to someone else, not romantically interested in her friend, and had no reason to think he had any interest in her - because no matter what he might (and I'm saying might because him saying he had a crush on OP when they first met is a million miles away from him actually having strong feelings for her now) have felt, he never made an advance.
The wife was not satisfied with causing a public spectacle and made career-damaging allegations to OP and her own husband's superiors, again with no basis in truth and no reason to think they were true. Not satisfied with that, she ended her husband's military career. Apparently over the fact that at a point in the past he'd had a crush on someone who was totally uninterested, he never made a move on the OP and never got any reciprocal attention from the OP.

Whatever her personal life might be like, she had no right to behave so badly and I have no sympathy for someone who blames an innocent bystander for what her husband might be feeling.
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me.... Now its the last update...#92
Post by: Clockwork Banana on May 13, 2014, 03:50:10 PM
I agree.  It is one thing to have suspicions that your SO might have feelings for another.  It is an entirely different animal when someone goes all 'whack-job' about those suspicions, especially when the  purported object of desire has done NOTHING to encourage, tease, stir, or otherwise make welcome any advances.  That is just going to crazy-town/immaturity at its finest.

Oh, and A-Blue,FWIW I actually remember this thread from back in the day along with many other of your posts, and I assume that you are probably in a completely different headspace after a tour or more in the sand.  I am Canadian, but that does not stop me from having mad love for you doing what you have done, seeing what you have seen, and I have so much respect.........
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me.... Now its the last update...#92
Post by: afbluebelle on May 22, 2014, 12:32:48 AM
Not to defend the jealous ex specifically,  but in general terms, the knowledge that he did eventually admit to feelings for the OP justifies what made me feel kind of icky and unpleasant about the tone of this entire thread: all the ridiculing and dismissal of the wife's feelings.

Nobody here was a party to that couple's relationship and blowing this unknown woman off as a shallow harpy with no actual knowledge made me feel really sickened.

The wife in question had no right to make OP's life difficult because of her worries. On the other hand, clearly she had something to worry about, if her husband had feelings for OP- and saw fit to express them while inside his marriage. 

I have great sympathy for this woman and if she got any of the same vibe in person as came through in this thread, she must have had a difficult time of it. Too bad respect doesn't extend to people's private matters. Certainly a thread to make light of her marital problems (literally so, look at the title) had/ has no place on an etiquette board?

I tried to write out an explanation just to further clarify on this thread, but if you would like to, feel free to PM me  :)

You're right in that when I made this thread, I was mocking the situation. I was ridiculing and dismissing it, because I didn't know then what I know now.  I can't honestly say I regret it, but if I knew then what I know now, I wouldn't have been laughing as much about it.

 She probably did get the same vibe as the thread... I wasn't playing this up for the internet, I actually laughed, because it was an absurd moment, and I was moreso thinking, "who comes to a workplace and does crazy stuff like this?"

If you've read the whole thread (and I'm sure you have), it began rather... out there. It was just a crazy awkward situation, and I just thought it was funny. Not in the "haha" funny, but the "awkward sitcom this stuff shouldn't happen in real life" way. Laughing wasn't the best thing to do, but.... yeah, its' the only thing I could do.

And, I'm not sure how to describe military leadership. But picture your boss, who can not only fire you, but make you work a crapload of extra time doing horrible details for no pay. He can also demote you so you are making less, and can have you incarcerated. This chick tried to spark off stuff in my life with my commander (boss). I knew then and know now that I didn't do anything wrong, but you NEVER want your name attached to an investigation. Ever. I cannot stress that enough.  the military is a darn small world, and you don't want Colonel Dudeguy's only remembrance of your name to be tied in with something negative. I had just gotten to the base, and hadn't been at work very long. That was starting me off on a horrible foot.

Finally, I was, and still am, a maintainer. There is a stigma that you receive just for your gender the second you enlist, and you fight every day to shake it. I can't get angry or be tired at work... if I am, I just get "on the rag" jokes. I can't cry when I hurt myself... I get called weak. If you choose to have a kid (even if married) you have to shake the "deployment dodger" label. And you never, ever, ever date anyone in your squadron, because you get labeled with all sorts of stuff... that isn't applicable to the situation, but it is relevant in the fact that it is an example of the rumor mill and general garbage that is run of the mill for a female maintainer to deal with.

I volunteer for the hardest jobs and work longer hours just so I can have the freedom of being treated equal, so for some woman  to come to my place of work, talk to my superiors who I work myself into the ground for, and try to throw everything I've done into question? Especially when at the time, I didn't know why?  Yes, I had very little zero respect for her or anything she had to say. Now that I'm established, and everyone knows me and that I'm pretty much one of the grooviest people in the history of my squadron (and modest too!  ;D ) I probably would be more sensitive to her point of view.


Whew! That was a long one. I never added the incredibly stupid long backstory, because well, most of the people who were on at that time knew it. And the title... well, the title made sense when I first posted it, to me anyway. Quite frankly, it still makes sense in the scheme of things. Not to sound morbid, but on the scale of things that keep me awake at night.... well, this isn't on the scale.

And Clockwork Banana, thank you so much, and all of you for being there for me through the years. Rest assured, I'm still the same Blue, love my job and my plane more than ever... Just feel free to laugh when you see me combat role if I hear a car backfire. All my friends do  ;D

P.S. Save The A-10!
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me.... Now its the last update...#92
Post by: afbluebelle on May 22, 2014, 12:49:20 AM
Welcome home!

I wouldn't refriend him at this point. You don't need the potential drama.

Oh yeah, I'm not going there. The debate is between just not responding or straight up blocking him  :P
Title: Re: You've got to be kidding me.... Now its the last update...#92
Post by: PastryGoddess on May 22, 2014, 08:54:01 AM
Block, it's not worth it