Etiquette Hell

General Etiquette => Etiquette Hell Classics => Topic started by: quiet_you on May 02, 2008, 01:33:07 PM

Title: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: quiet_you on May 02, 2008, 01:33:07 PM
This isn't so much a classic, as just one I've always been extremely unnerved by, and I just wondered: has anyone else EVER heard of this? I've heard of a lot of things, but never this . . .

I have always found the garter "tradition" of having your father put it on you and your husband take it off and throw it to his friends to be in poor taste, but when my dearest friend got married back in the early 1980's, I nearly threw up. You see her father had sexually abused her when she was in junior high, not long after her mother died of a lingering disease. She was trying to forgive him and fuse her stepfamily into a real one, so she did the "traditional" garter thing. But the sight of her sicko father with his hands up her skirt was almost more than I could take.

At my wedding next year (I hope) I will be throwing neither garter nor bouquet, and if anyone finds that tacky or untraditional, tough.

You know, some of these "traditions" seem very recent. No one I know who got married before the late '70s threw any garter, or did more than wear one for the "something blue." And no description of weddings from the first half of the century describe bouquet-tossing. Frankly I don't consider either one of them true traditions, just modern tackiness.

From Ms. Jeanne: I've never seen nor heard of the tradition where the father of the bride puts the garter on his daughter.   That one is rather bizarre.



Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: Harriet Jones on May 02, 2008, 01:44:08 PM
From Ms. Jeanne: I've never seen nor heard of the tradition where the father of the bride puts the garter on his daughter.   That one is rather bizarre.

I've not heard of that, either.
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: Alida on May 02, 2008, 01:45:52 PM
My father would have rather pulled his teeth out with his bare hands than put a garter on me.  That's just.. creepy.
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: housewife2k on May 02, 2008, 01:54:39 PM
I have never, never heard of the father putting onthe garter! That just...eewwwwwweeeeewwwweeeewww.

I am sorry, but there are somehings afather just shouldn ot do, and putting a garter on his daughter is on that list.
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: Pinky830 on May 02, 2008, 01:57:58 PM
My very proper father would have freaked at the mere suggestion. I've never heard of this, either. The way I've always seen it done is that the bride is already wearing the garter, i.e. she put it on herself.
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: Sara Crewe on May 02, 2008, 03:47:51 PM
Why do I have a feeling that it was the pervert father who came up with this tradition?

Yeuch. :-X
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: Snewt on May 02, 2008, 04:24:00 PM
I think my father would have fainted if I asked him to touch my leg on my wedding day.  We didn't do the garter toss at all (DH thought that the tradition was gross) and my dad was thrilled.  All of our friends have followed our footsteps and eliminated this tradition from their weddings as well.
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: snowflake on May 02, 2008, 06:08:25 PM
I have never, never heard of the father putting onthe garter! That just...eewwwwwweeeeewwwweeeewww.

I am sorry, but there are somehings afather just shouldn ot do, and putting a garter on his daughter is on that list.

Huge POD on that.

It's OK for a daddy to help his girl get dressed when she's a toddler but once she starts running into the tween age that's just plain wrong.  (Unless she has some sort of disability that keeps her from dressing herself.)

Having him put anything on her in public is twice as gross.

My dad was not a pervert and I'd still be grossed out by him putting on a garter!

Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: Emmy on May 03, 2008, 11:39:10 AM
Put me down as another one who never heard of this 'tradition' and finds it creepy to say the least.  I couldn't imagine doing that.

I'm not a fan of taking the garter off at the reception either.
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: Gyro Widget on May 03, 2008, 12:47:48 PM
The whole garter thing is in poor taste IMHO - the public symbol showing the womans "loss of virginity".  I am by no means a prude, however the whole "tradition" is just sooo uncomfortable to watch.  I put the word tradition in quotes, because I highly doubt that this was EVER done in generations before. 

But involving one's father into the fiasco just takes the cake.  Its just so... sick. 

Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: Twik on May 03, 2008, 07:53:56 PM
It would be interesting to know the background of this "tradition", of which I am also completely unfamiliar. Is it really something that perhaps is extremely local? The writer seems to think that everyone knows what she's talking about, and that she might be offending people by NOT doing it! Otherwise, I would agree that it sounds like something that Creepy Dad invented for one last grope of his daughter.
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: Joannie81 on May 03, 2008, 08:10:19 PM
I never heard of it either.  It just doesn't sound like something that should be done.  DH stopped helping DD's dress when they learned how at around 4 or 5.  He helped them with buttons and things if they needed help, but that's about it.  And if/when they get married, he would never ever even think of putting a garter on them!
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: Pixie on May 03, 2008, 08:36:35 PM
While I do find the Mexican(?) tradition on the daughter's 15th birthday where the father changes her flat shoes for heels is very touching, sweet, and symbolic...... going from little girl to Young Lady....

I had never heard of a father putting a garter on his daughter and the idea is a bit creepy to me, OK, its a lot creepy.


Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: missmolly on May 04, 2008, 01:12:04 AM
Quote
Why do I have a feeling that it was the pervert father who came up with this tradition?

You're not the only one. I've heard it's traditional for the mother to arrange the veil on the bride, but I'm pretty sure the father has no part in dressing her. Especially not something as icky as this 'tradition'.
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: Lady Vavasour on May 04, 2008, 05:26:58 AM


You know, some of these "traditions" seem very recent. No one I know who got married before the late '70s threw any garter, or did more than wear one for the "something blue." And no description of weddings from the first half of the century describe bouquet-tossing. Frankly I don't consider either one of them true traditions, just modern tackiness.





I'd never heard of garter tossing before I came onto this website (I am from New Zealand). Brides do often wear garters, but no one ever gets to see them.
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: Venus193 on May 04, 2008, 07:11:01 AM
Why do I have a feeling that it was the pervert father who came up with this tradition?

Yeuch. :-X

Ditto.  I've never heard of this, either.
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: quiet_you on May 05, 2008, 12:30:35 PM
Why do I have a feeling that it was the pervert father who came up with this tradition?

Yeuch. :-X

Ditto.  I've never heard of this, either.

Yeah, that was my take on the whole thing. I imagined the following squicky scenario, as details about the wedding and reception are bandied about:

Father: . . . and then, honey, at the reception, I'll put on your garter so that the groom can take it off.

Daughter: Um, Dad, I've never heard of that. I don't think that's a tradition.

Father: No, really, it is. I'm not making it up.

Daughter: I don't know . . .

Father: Oh, honey, come on now. Quit being silly.
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: Scritzy on May 05, 2008, 03:45:15 PM
I have seen among my family and friends:



I put on my own dang garter!
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: Bibliophile on May 05, 2008, 03:50:01 PM
 :o Ew....EWWWW.....EEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!

No way, no how!  That's just totally WRONG!  There are some places daddy's hands don't belong - anything up the skirt would definately be included in that statement.
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: ladycrim on May 05, 2008, 05:31:13 PM
I did a cursory search on garter-tossing and found nothing that mentions the father.  I'd love to hear more details from the storyteller on this one.
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: Kelaina on May 06, 2008, 12:06:50 AM
I can explain the tradition of the garter, and trust me, the original was a LOT worse.

In medieval times, after the ceremony, the bride was taken to the bridal chamber and stripped naked by her female family. A few moments later, the groom entered with the male members of the family. He too was stripped naked, but the bride's assets were shown to all the guests, while the groom's were not.

It was a visual verification of their wedding night (and assumed consummation) and of the bride's physical offerings.

Eventually, this decreased into the garter. Also, it was common to place the bloodied bedsheets over the fireplace in the main hall, to prove the groom's virility and the bride's virginity.
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: artk2002 on May 06, 2008, 12:12:44 AM
I can explain the tradition of the garter, and trust me, the original was a LOT worse.

In medieval times, after the ceremony, the bride was taken to the bridal chamber and stripped naked by her female family. A few moments later, the groom entered with the male members of the family. He too was stripped naked, but the bride's assets were shown to all the guests, while the groom's were not.

It was a visual verification of their wedding night (and assumed consummation) and of the bride's physical offerings.

Eventually, this decreased into the garter. Also, it was common to place the bloodied bedsheets over the fireplace in the main hall, to prove the groom's virility and the bride's virginity.

Citation, please?
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: morgana on May 06, 2008, 01:24:13 AM
I don't know of citations so I can't help with that. But it is true, there was such a tradition as the bloody sheet. In Romania in the villages there was a practice, which I really hope stopped around the beginning of the 20th century (meaning I hope it's not done anywhere anymore) where during the wedding the groom and bride would withdraw to their room and hmmm do the deed. After which the bloody sheets would be brought out and shown to the guests in the traditional "dance of the sheet". YEAP, that's right. Many chickens had to die to cover up the shame  8)

As for the stripping I can also believe some of that. As the female body used to be in many cultures considered an important acquisition and people even paid for it (and in some cultures they still do), then the "goods" naturally required an inspection. One had to know they got the right value for the money. So from what I know in some cultures it would have been the future MIL who inspected the girl. Sometimes inspection went all the way to checking the virginity of the girl.

However I've never heard about the "check of consummation".  ???
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: Carolingian on May 06, 2008, 04:18:03 AM
However I've never heard about the "check of consummation".  ???

Well, as consummation was an important part of what made a marriage valid in the Middle Ages, it was important that witnesses saw the bridegroom and the bride going to bed together (like in this (http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/f/f1/Brauysegen_im_Bett.gif/501px-Brauysegen_im_Bett.gif) 15th century picture (don't worry, it is pretty tame and even has a priest blessing the newlyweds in their bed). The exact customs probably varied from region to region.
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: morgana on May 06, 2008, 04:28:53 AM
However I've never heard about the "check of consummation".  ???

Well, as consummation was an important part of what made a marriage valid in the Middle Ages, it was important that witnesses saw the bridegroom and the bride going to bed together (like in this (http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/f/f1/Brauysegen_im_Bett.gif/501px-Brauysegen_im_Bett.gif) 15th century picture (don't worry, it is pretty tame and even has a priest blessing the newlyweds in their bed). The exact customs probably varied from region to region.

Of that I know. And if you want to refer to the bed of kings and queens, those were permanently attended anyway and so not much privacy there. Generally yes, there was this tradition of seeing the newly weds to bed, giving them the blessings, dressing them and so on, but my knowledge stops here. I don't believe there was an actual witnessing of the act by any of the parents or religious faces. In fact, that's what the bloody sheets were for, to provide proof of consummation. I also have never heard of a "next day virginity check". Again, the blood on the sheets would be sufficient evidence.

Wow, how did we get into all this? And how do we get out? :)
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: Venus193 on May 06, 2008, 06:44:41 AM
I think this all speaks to the creep factor of the original subject of this thread.  The whole idea of the bloody sheet is so ridiculous as well, since most women's hymens didn't bleed.

We should all be glad to have been born in the 20th century.
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: Calbrini on May 06, 2008, 07:03:59 AM
I have heard of some old custom where the brides dad would give the groom a pair of the brides shoes to show he now 'owned' the bride. i think I also read that sometimes the grrom would hit the bride on the head with one of the shoes in front of her dad to show he was now the boss! as I read this a long tme ago in school I cant remember what culture/ country it was or what period in history.

Anyone else heard of this?
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: hermanne on May 06, 2008, 07:44:47 AM
snopes.com has a section on bridal lore and customs.

http://www.snopes.com/weddings/customs/customs.asp (http://www.snopes.com/weddings/customs/customs.asp)
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: caranfin on May 06, 2008, 07:45:48 AM
I have seen among my family and friends:

  • The brother of the groom putting the garter on the bride (the father was out of the picture).

I'm trying to figure out why anyone would think this is a good idea, and I just... can't.
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: snowball's chance on May 06, 2008, 03:25:05 PM
I think this all speaks to the creep factor of the original subject of this thread.  The whole idea of the bloody sheet is so ridiculous as well, since most women's hymens didn't bleed.


Add to that, a woman could be far from a virgin & still have some spotting or bleeding during intercourse.
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: LTrew on May 07, 2008, 08:41:34 AM
I have seen among my family and friends:
  • The maid of honor putting the garter on the bride. When he saw the picture, the groom said he was creeped out.

I did put the garter on my sister a few weeks ago (and I was the MOH)  but it was only because we'd gotten her into the dress already when we realized we'd forgotten to put the stockings on at all, so we had to upend the skirts and help her out. We certainly didn't take pictures though!
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: accio_books on May 08, 2008, 09:32:27 AM
Why do I have a feeling that it was the pervert father who came up with this tradition?

Yeuch. :-X

In view of the father's history of molestation, that was my take on it too. How awful that he got away with it.
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: wordgirl on May 12, 2008, 03:19:47 PM
The garter tradition I'm familiar with - and that I assumed this thread was about - doesn't involve the father of the bride at all. Instead, it's the rather disgusting "ceremony" that too often follows the bouquet toss and the garter toss, where the catcher of the garter is urged to position said accessory on the leg of the woman who caught the bouquet.

Meanwhile, the guests are expected to scream "higher, higher," urging that the garter be moved further up the woman's thigh. Apparently this is meant to convey some sort of luck/affluence/whatever to the newly married couple, so it's the garter-catcher's "duty" to slide the garter up pretty high (this is bushwah, of course - the real motivation seems to be purely titillation.)

At the last wedding I went to, both bouquet-catcher and garter-catcher were of age, and the garter-catcher was pretty decorous - he only slid it halfway up her shin. But I remember one wedding where the girl who caught the bouquet was barely 14, and the garter ended well above her knee - despite the fact that the girl (who just happens to be my beloved niece) was visibly on the edge of humiliated tears. And her mom did nothing to stop it!
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: Eloe on May 13, 2008, 04:51:04 AM
However I've never heard about the "check of consummation".  ???

Well, as consummation was an important part of what made a marriage valid in the Middle Ages, it was important that witnesses saw the bridegroom and the bride going to bed together (like in this (http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/f/f1/Brauysegen_im_Bett.gif/501px-Brauysegen_im_Bett.gif) 15th century picture (don't worry, it is pretty tame and even has a priest blessing the newlyweds in their bed). The exact customs probably varied from region to region.

Of that I know. And if you want to refer to the bed of kings and queens, those were permanently attended anyway and so not much privacy there. Generally yes, there was this tradition of seeing the newly weds to bed, giving them the blessings, dressing them and so on, but my knowledge stops here. I don't believe there was an actual witnessing of the act by any of the parents or religious faces. In fact, that's what the bloody sheets were for, to provide proof of consummation. I also have never heard of a "next day virginity check". Again, the blood on the sheets would be sufficient evidence.


In early Middle Ages the royal (and, I suppose, high aristocracy - back then it could be hard to distinguish between the two, anyway) wedding consummation was, in fact, attended by several witnesses. It was a way of ensuring that a) the marriage was, in fact, consummated and b) it was consummated by the appropriate persons (see the stroy of Tristan and Iseult as an example of why it did not have to be the case) and any resulting offspring would have the required lineage. As far as I know (sorry, no citation, I'm referencing several books from memory and I'm at work anyway) it was not performed in view of all the guests, just a couple of highly respected officials, like the archbishop. I imagine the bride and groom were actually under some sort of covers. Later the bride and groom were just ceremoniuosly put in one bed, in their nightclothes, and there were no witnesses to any further proceedings. In fact, the further proceedings did not necessarily have to take place (see "The Six Wives of Henry VIII" by Antonia Fraser for example).

I have never heard of a tradition of stripping the newlyweds naked in front of all the guests. If there was such a tradition, it must have been very local.

There were various ways of checking the virginity of the bride. Still are, in fact. At Spanish Gypsy weddings (sorry, I'm not sure what is the official word for Gypsies now - Roms? Romany?) the eldest female in the grooms family performs the check using her finger and a white handkerchief. If there is blood, the feast may begin. Otherwise, there will be fighting.
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: housewife2k on May 13, 2008, 12:55:58 PM
There were various ways of checking the virginity of the bride. Still are, in fact. At Spanish Gypsy weddings (sorry, I'm not sure what is the official word for Gypsies now - Roms? Romany?) the eldest female in the grooms family performs the check using her finger and a white handkerchief. If there is blood, the feast may begin. Otherwise, there will be fighting.
Rom, Roma, or Romani, we really don't object strenuously to Gypsy, and even use it ourselves, when it's obvious it's not being used as an insult, or to be cruel. Add to that, the Roma from different regions have different 'titles', it can get really confusing. In my family, we would rather be called Gyspy or Rom or Roma that be called by the moniker used for a different region.
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: KCee on May 14, 2008, 02:30:28 PM
While I do find the Mexican(?) tradition on the daughter's 15th birthday where the father changes her flat shoes for heels is very touching, sweet, and symbolic...... going from little girl to Young Lady....





This sounds like a really sweet thing.

 I don't like garters even without the father thing added in. I have never participated in a bouquet toss because I do NOT want to end up having to have a garter put on me!
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: Niona on May 14, 2008, 07:43:45 PM
We don't do the garter thing in the UK. I just feel odd about the whole thing - it just seems to me to be a very sexualised thing that doesn't rightly belong in a celebration of love and commitment. If I read it correctly, the garter thing symbolises the groom undressing the bride later on and I just feel that places too much emphasis on marriage purely for sex, and not marriage of love. I really don't want to see the groom undressing the bride, even if it is just symbolic.

It was once custom for the bride and groom to be escorted to the royal bedchamber (the film Marie Atoinnette showed this) and then left alone to consumate the royal deed, and I suppose the garter i some sort of modern equivalent. But still, I find it ..icky.
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: Eloe on May 15, 2008, 02:57:27 AM

It was once custom for the bride and groom to be escorted to the royal bedchamber (the film Marie Atoinnette showed this) and then left alone to consumate the royal deed, and I suppose the garter i some sort of modern equivalent. But still, I find it ..icky.

But it was purely symbolic - as far as I know, their marriage was not consummated until years afterwards. That is, I haven't seen the movie, but I read some good biographies.

We don't have any garters-related activities at our weddings here either. In fact, it took me a while to figure out what exactly it involves. There are some games, bride throws her veil and the groom throws his tie. No undergarments are involved.
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: Niona on May 15, 2008, 06:41:39 AM

It was once custom for the bride and groom to be escorted to the royal bedchamber (the film Marie Atoinnette showed this) and then left alone to consumate the royal deed, and I suppose the garter i some sort of modern equivalent. But still, I find it ..icky.

But it was purely symbolic - as far as I know, their marriage was not consummated until years afterwards. That is, I haven't seen the movie, but I read some good biographies.

We don't have any garters-related activities at our weddings here either. In fact, it took me a while to figure out what exactly it involves. There are some games, bride throws her veil and the groom throws his tie. No undergarments are involved.

No, itwasn't consumated for years, but they did escort them to the bedchamber, put them in bed together, and made some lewd jokes, so they were there right up until the last minute. (I'm not surprised they had problems after that - btw, the film is based on the Antonia Fraser biography, and it's actually pretty good - a lot of the parts of it the people lambasted for being unrealistic actually happened).

I've never heard of a bride throwing her veil - here it's often kept in tissue paper and handed down through the generations to the next bride. As for grooms throwing the tie - well, they often do that, but only because they're merry, I don't think it's an actual tradition!
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: Calypso on May 15, 2008, 01:12:04 PM

Well, as consummation was an important part of what made a marriage valid in the Middle Ages, it was important that witnesses saw the bridegroom and the bride going to bed together (like in this (http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/f/f1/Brauysegen_im_Bett.gif/501px-Brauysegen_im_Bett.gif) 15th century picture (don't worry, it is pretty tame and even has a priest blessing the newlyweds in their bed). The exact customs probably varied from region to region.

It cracks me up, Carolingian, that the bride is still wearing her hat in the picture!  :D
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: Calbrini on May 16, 2008, 10:45:11 AM
I recently saw an old film called 'The wicked Lady' on TV and there was a wedding scene in it, not sure of the peroid in time it was set in, sometime in the 17th -18th century. Sometime during the wedding dance the bride was taken upstairs by her bridesmids and dresed in nightclothes and put in bed. Then the grom was taken to the room and had to knock on the door to be told that his brde was awaiting him!

not sure if it was historically accurate but she didnt look very happy!
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: Kimblee on May 17, 2008, 01:35:33 AM
I have never, never heard of the father putting onthe garter! That just...eewwwwwweeeeewwwweeeewww.

I am sorry, but there are somehings afather just shouldn ot do, and putting a garter on his daughter is on that list.

Huge POD on that.

It's OK for a daddy to help his girl get dressed when she's a toddler but once she starts running into the tween age that's just plain wrong.  (Unless she has some sort of disability that keeps her from dressing herself.)

Having him put anything on her in public is twice as gross.

My dad was not a pervert and I'd still be grossed out by him putting on a garter!



yeah. normally garters are daddy no-man's land.

But on the other hand, my poor father has put KNEE garters on me. (They are like ribbons on little stockings, but they tie right below your knee cap. For me, they are a costume item.

I had a sprained wrist so he had to tie them for me, i put them on myself. (I was alice in wonderland for a kid's library charity.)

Thigh garters?

EWW!

I think even if i lost both arms my father wouldn't do that for me.

Might ask ym stepmom to though... but only if I was missing BOTH arms.
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: Kimblee on May 17, 2008, 01:37:34 AM
Quote
Why do I have a feeling that it was the pervert father who came up with this tradition?

You're not the only one. I've heard it's traditional for the mother to arrange the veil on the bride, but I'm pretty sure the father has no part in dressing her. Especially not something as icky as this 'tradition'.

Actually, I had heard is WAS the father's duty to arrange the veil. He lifts it down over the bride's head just ebfore excorting her down the isle.

My cousin's father did that. Of course, my cousin doesn't have a mom, so maybe he was filling in for the mother.
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: Roe on May 18, 2008, 10:03:01 AM
This is the quick info I found about the garter tradition.

http://www.wedalert.com/content/articles/tale_tossing_of_the_garter.asp
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: Kendo_Bunny on May 19, 2008, 01:36:20 PM
That just sounds sick. I plan on wearing garters, but no one is going to know except me and the groom. I'm not a fan of the garter toss- I only saw it at my stepsister's wedding, where the DJ played 'The Stripper' as it was taken off and put on one of the other bridesmaids. I was glad I didn't catch the bouquet, because I would never let any man but my sweetheart put any article of underclothes on me.
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: Luna_Moon on June 03, 2008, 08:37:20 PM
I can't fathom this "tradition" at all. My father was uncouth and crass and still would *never* have lifted my skirt unless I was in immediate need of medical attention.

As for the display of the bloodied bedsheets... I have a story about that. When I was a small child, I went to a bridal shower hosted by my father's family, who were Polish, Latvian, and Russian. My mother needed to leave urgently, and I was left in the care of my paternal grandmother, playing quietly in a corner while the womenfolk cleaned up after the shower and talked honestly to the bride about married life. They advised her that her mother in law would come to breakfast the morning after the wedding and would probably find an excuse to go snooping around the newly married couple's bedroom looking for that bloodied sheet. My cousin was gently advised how to fake the appearance of blood on a bedsheet if she needed to, where a cut would go undetected by even the groom, and how much blood was considered "enough" as opposed to just plain "fake". And that could not have been earlier than 1980.
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: Twik on June 03, 2008, 10:55:33 PM
My cousin was gently advised how to fake the appearance of blood on a bedsheet if she needed to, where a cut would go undetected by even the groom, and how much blood was considered "enough" as opposed to just plain "fake".

I know this is not funny, but somehow I could see a new bride determined to hold her head up presenting her MIL with what looks like a CSI crime scene.
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: kingsrings on June 06, 2008, 01:23:23 PM
I pray that I never end up attending a reception where they do any variation of taking the garter off the bride's leg. I don't care how popular it is, I still find the whole thing to be crude, disgusting, and indecent.
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: Luna_Moon on June 06, 2008, 03:43:24 PM
I had a BWW for my first marriage, and I did NOT do the garter tradition. My family was angry and horrified but I held firm.

The marriage was dissolved years ago but some of those relatives STILL point to the "garter issue" as the reason we broke up... as if my ex's infidelity and theft from my accounts had nothing to do with it.
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: kingsrings on June 06, 2008, 04:30:34 PM
I had a BWW for my first marriage, and I did NOT do the garter tradition. My family was angry and horrified but I held firm.

The marriage was dissolved years ago but some of those relatives STILL point to the "garter issue" as the reason we broke up... as if my ex's infidelity and theft from my accounts had nothing to do with it.

What exactly do they say to you about this? "We do wanted to see your husband put his arm up your dress"?? Sheesh.
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: kajunchick on June 09, 2008, 10:38:37 AM
Someone mentioned putting the garter on the girl who catches the bouquet. I've never heard of that tradition. Here (in south Louisiana), the bride sits on the best man's knee and the groom takes the garter off. The groom throws the garter, much like the bouquet toss. The guy who catches it puts it on his arm, around his bicep, and takes a picture with the groom.
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: tiny clanger on June 11, 2008, 07:06:34 AM
In ancient Greece (in Athens, at least) the bride and groom would retire and musicians would hang around outside the door playing rhythmical music to, ahem, help them on their way. I think it was called a hymn to Hymeneas. Yup. Singing a cheery song about your intimate body bits!

See Aristophanes' comedy Peace (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peace_%28play%29), which ends with a wedding (staged 421BC). It's not his best play (Frogs is, in my opinion), but I still feel faint thinking about the wedding song at the end!  ;)
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: Luna_Moon on June 11, 2008, 01:57:46 PM
I had a BWW for my first marriage, and I did NOT do the garter tradition. My family was angry and horrified but I held firm.

The marriage was dissolved years ago but some of those relatives STILL point to the "garter issue" as the reason we broke up... as if my ex's infidelity and theft from my accounts had nothing to do with it.

What exactly do they say to you about this? "We do wanted to see your husband put his arm up your dress"?? Sheesh.

It generally went, "Well, when you break with tradition, nothing good is ever the result." Every time I heard that, my eyes rolled so hard I could see my own hairstyle.
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: Venus193 on June 11, 2008, 03:46:35 PM

It generally went, "Well, when you break with tradition, nothing good is ever the result." Every time I heard that, my eyes rolled so hard I could see my own hairstyle.

If every child of every parent from the beginning of the species only ever did what his parent said was "tradition," we'd have never gotten out of the cave.
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: Cz. Burrito on June 12, 2008, 03:33:49 PM
I pray that I never end up attending a reception where they do any variation of taking the garter off the bride's leg. I don't care how popular it is, I still find the whole thing to be crude, disgusting, and indecent.


At two of my cousin's weddings (they're siblings), the groom removed the bride's garter with his teeth.  At the second one, it was even the bride's brother (one of said cousins) who was encouraging it the most.  *shiver* 
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: Ant V on June 15, 2008, 08:28:47 PM
I have never heard of a tradition where the father of the bride puts the garter on the bride  for the husband to remove later.  Some creepy freak must have dreamed that one up.  Around here,the bride puts on her own garter.  Ick!  It makes me shudder. 
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: Winterlight on June 23, 2008, 09:12:30 AM
My cousin was gently advised how to fake the appearance of blood on a bedsheet if she needed to, where a cut would go undetected by even the groom, and how much blood was considered "enough" as opposed to just plain "fake".

I know this is not funny, but somehow I could see a new bride determined to hold her head up presenting her MIL with what looks like a CSI crime scene.

That was my thought too. "You want blood, lady? Here it is!"
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: Saro on June 24, 2008, 11:26:42 PM
In ancient Greece (in Athens, at least) the bride and groom would retire and musicians would hang around outside the door playing rhythmical music to, ahem, help them on their way. I think it was called a hymn to Hymeneas. Yup. Singing a cheery song about your intimate body bits!

See Aristophanes' comedy Peace (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peace_%28play%29), which ends with a wedding (staged 421BC). It's not his best play (Frogs is, in my opinion), but I still feel faint thinking about the wedding song at the end!  ;)


You almost caused me to snort Diet Dr. Pepper up my newly pierced nose (only mentioning that because it would have hurt). That was hilarious.

ETA: The garter thing is creepy and I feel bad for the poor bride. I personally don't want to do the toss either. Seems kind of wrong in a way. I don't know.
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: Alida on June 24, 2008, 11:36:11 PM
My MOH was my 17 year old cousin, who was like a sister to me.  The Best Man caught the garter.  I pulled him aside and told him if he went any higher than just above her knee, he'd find out what a Sicilian woman could do when she was unhappy.

Smart man, he stopped just above the knee.  And the DJ didn't encourage him to go any higher (also a smart man!).

IMO, no one belongs under a woman's dress other than her SO and not so high in public!
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: dixieangel on February 28, 2013, 10:51:53 AM
I know this thread is from years ago but it appeared when I searched for "father placing garter on bride". After reading all the comments on it, I just had to tell about another inappropriate event I have observed. After a recent wedding I attended, the mother of the bride posted a picture on Facebook of the STEP-Father placing the garters under the bride's gown. WHAT?!?!?! That is PERVERTED!!! At the reception, the father of the bride didn't want to see the groom was removing the garter. When a mutual friend of ours asked him about the picture, he said he would never think that was a father's responsibility, much less a step-father's. That either the bride herself, her attendants or her mother should help her with that. And to top it off, people have "liked" it on Facebook. The whole thing is just disgusting.
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: MariaE on February 28, 2013, 12:22:01 PM
No. It might be bad taste, it might be inappropriate, but unless there's something untoward going on, it is not perverted. That is cheapining the word too much.
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: amylouky on February 28, 2013, 12:57:27 PM
No. It might be bad taste, it might be inappropriate, but unless there's something untoward going on, it is not perverted. That is cheapining the word too much.

I think in the OP of this thread, given that the father had molested the daughter previously, perverted is the perfect word to use.
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: MariaE on February 28, 2013, 01:03:25 PM
No. It might be bad taste, it might be inappropriate, but unless there's something untoward going on, it is not perverted. That is cheapining the word too much.

I think in the OP of this thread, given that the father had molested the daughter previously, perverted is the perfect word to use.

Absolutely! Which is why I think it cheapens the word to call posting a picture on Facebook of the step-father placing the garters perverted:

I know this thread is from years ago but it appeared when I searched for "father placing garter on bride". After reading all the comments on it, I just had to tell about another inappropriate event I have observed. After a recent wedding I attended, the mother of the bride posted a picture on Facebook of the STEP-Father placing the garters under the bride's gown. WHAT?!?!?! That is PERVERTED!!! At the reception, the father of the bride didn't want to see the groom was removing the garter. When a mutual friend of ours asked him about the picture, he said he would never think that was a father's responsibility, much less a step-father's. That either the bride herself, her attendants or her mother should help her with that. And to top it off, people have "liked" it on Facebook. The whole thing is just disgusting.
The underlined is what I was responding to.

The OP - definitely perverted! That would have made me sick to watch as well. A picture of facebook where I know of no background of abuse? Not so much.
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: amylouky on February 28, 2013, 01:21:02 PM
No. It might be bad taste, it might be inappropriate, but unless there's something untoward going on, it is not perverted. That is cheapining the word too much.

I think in the OP of this thread, given that the father had molested the daughter previously, perverted is the perfect word to use.

Absolutely! Which is why I think it cheapens the word to call posting a picture on Facebook of the step-father placing the garters perverted:

I know this thread is from years ago but it appeared when I searched for "father placing garter on bride". After reading all the comments on it, I just had to tell about another inappropriate event I have observed. After a recent wedding I attended, the mother of the bride posted a picture on Facebook of the STEP-Father placing the garters under the bride's gown. WHAT?!?!?! That is PERVERTED!!! At the reception, the father of the bride didn't want to see the groom was removing the garter. When a mutual friend of ours asked him about the picture, he said he would never think that was a father's responsibility, much less a step-father's. That either the bride herself, her attendants or her mother should help her with that. And to top it off, people have "liked" it on Facebook. The whole thing is just disgusting.
The underlined is what I was responding to.

The OP - definitely perverted! That would have made me sick to watch as well. A picture of facebook where I know of no background of abuse? Not so much.

Ah, okay, gotcha! I didn't realize you were responding to that one post. :)
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: MariaE on February 28, 2013, 01:42:09 PM
I should have quoted it, but I was commenting from my iPad and quoting gets cumbersome :)
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on February 28, 2013, 01:52:33 PM
The garter tradition I'm familiar with - and that I assumed this thread was about - doesn't involve the father of the bride at all. Instead, it's the rather disgusting "ceremony" that too often follows the bouquet toss and the garter toss, where the catcher of the garter is urged to position said accessory on the leg of the woman who caught the bouquet.

Meanwhile, the guests are expected to scream "higher, higher," urging that the garter be moved further up the woman's thigh. Apparently this is meant to convey some sort of luck/affluence/whatever to the newly married couple, so it's the garter-catcher's "duty" to slide the garter up pretty high (this is bushwah, of course - the real motivation seems to be purely titillation.)

At the last wedding I went to, both bouquet-catcher and garter-catcher were of age, and the garter-catcher was pretty decorous - he only slid it halfway up her shin. But I remember one wedding where the girl who caught the bouquet was barely 14, and the garter ended well above her knee - despite the fact that the girl (who just happens to be my beloved niece) was visibly on the edge of humiliated tears. And her mom did nothing to stop it!

Poor girl!  The only time I caught the bouquet, I was 9.  And I'm pretty sure it was staged so that I would catch it, as my aunt and uncle were married on my 9th birthday.  My cousin, who was 7, I think, "caught" the garter.   Due to our ages they didn't do the part where the catcher puts the garter on the leg of the one who caught the bouquet.  But they did have us dance together. 

I'm with others in thinking the father came up with this tradition and it turns my stomach too.

My MOH was my 17 year old cousin, who was like a sister to me.  The Best Man caught the garter.  I pulled him aside and told him if he went any higher than just above her knee, he'd find out what a Sicilian woman could do when she was unhappy.

Sorry, that had me instantly picturing you as Sofia Patrillo from Golden Girls. ;)
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: dixieangel on March 01, 2013, 09:04:25 AM
The OP was definitely a different situation but in reading the thread there were many other scenarios discussed that people thought were equally perverted. While you believe that my use of the word was wrong in comparison to the OP, I disagree. There are many definitions for it including "Deviating from what is considered normal or correct" and synonyms including twisted, shameful, etc. I agree that the OP was terrible and perverted; however, I believe that perverted also applies to this scenario as this was not normal or correct, it was disgusting and twisted. As some commenters have said, their own fathers would have refused to do this (mine would have too) leaving that sort of intimate detail to the bride or she could get assistance from her attendants or mother. Instead, this STEP-father was up to his elbows under that bride's gown while she looked horrified and her mother stood by laughing, taking pictures then posting them publically. Several of my circle of friends have searched for anything to do with this "tradition" and found nothing to confirm it specifically. The old age practices of the wedding feast lasting several days where the bride and groom were stripped naked, checked for purity then sent to a bedchamber to return with bloody sheets to prove consummation of the marriage are no longer required in this day. As the subject says, the whole thing is creepy and then when you add in varying scenario facts, it goes beyond acceptable behavior.
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: MariaE on March 01, 2013, 09:34:11 AM
The OP was definitely a different situation but in reading the thread there were many other scenarios discussed that people thought were equally perverted. While you believe that my use of the word was wrong in comparison to the OP, I disagree. There are many definitions for it including "Deviating from what is considered normal or correct" and synonyms including twisted, shameful, etc. I agree that the OP was terrible and perverted; however, I believe that perverted also applies to this scenario as this was not normal or correct, it was disgusting and twisted. As some commenters have said, their own fathers would have refused to do this (mine would have too) leaving that sort of intimate detail to the bride or she could get assistance from her attendants or mother. Instead, this STEP-father was up to his elbows under that bride's gown while she looked horrified and her mother stood by laughing, taking pictures then posting them publically. Several of my circle of friends have searched for anything to do with this "tradition" and found nothing to confirm it specifically. The old age practices of the wedding feast lasting several days where the bride and groom were stripped naked, checked for purity then sent to a bedchamber to return with bloody sheets to prove consummation of the marriage are no longer required in this day. As the subject says, the whole thing is creepy and then when you add in varying scenario facts, it goes beyond acceptable behavior.

If the step-father did it despite the daughter's wishes to the contrary, then I can understand why you'd call it perverted. From your original post it didn't sound like the daughter had any problems with it, so naturally I assumed she was in on it.

Besides, I don't think the "step" part makes any difference. It would have been equally disturbing if the bio-father had done something like that against his daughter's wishes.
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: Venus193 on March 01, 2013, 10:29:24 AM
Perverted is the right word for that situation.  It is difficult to believe that any mother would permit such a situation -- let alone encourage it -- against her daughter's will.  That would have earned my mother a full Cut Direct for the rest of her life.
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: magician5 on March 01, 2013, 09:12:22 PM
Getting right back to the basics of the "bloody sheets" concept is the modern idea (I hope it's soon to be forgotten) of the "purity pledge / ring".

So, is the fiancee supposed to go to the father and say "I'd like to marry your daughter so that I can soil her"? Gack!
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: nuit93 on March 02, 2013, 12:53:44 AM
Getting right back to the basics of the "bloody sheets" concept is the modern idea (I hope it's soon to be forgotten) of the "purity pledge / ring".

So, is the fiancee supposed to go to the father and say "I'd like to marry your daughter so that I can soil her"? Gack!

From what I've heard, that's not TOO far from actuality.
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: Nikko-chan on March 02, 2013, 03:56:10 AM
I uh.... I caught the bouquet at my cousins wedding a couple of years ago. Ick. To be fair, the young man who caught the garter was very gentlemanly about the whole thing when he saw how nervous I was, and finally he placed my hand on it and made me pull it up the rest of the way.

But still. Ick. If i ever have a wedding I will not be having this tradition!
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: Kimblee on March 03, 2013, 09:00:19 PM
I know this thread is from years ago but it appeared when I searched for "father placing garter on bride". After reading all the comments on it, I just had to tell about another inappropriate event I have observed. After a recent wedding I attended, the mother of the bride posted a picture on Facebook of the STEP-Father placing the garters under the bride's gown. WHAT?!?!?! That is PERVERTED!!! At the reception, the father of the bride didn't want to see the groom was removing the garter. When a mutual friend of ours asked him about the picture, he said he would never think that was a father's responsibility, much less a step-father's. That either the bride herself, her attendants or her mother should help her with that. And to top it off, people have "liked" it on Facebook. The whole thing is just disgusting.

My grandfather attatched my cousin's garter-belt before her wedding. (As in, did up the little tabs to the top of her thigh-highs.) Yeah, it was kinda weird, but not perverted. She'd put her dress on and assumed from when she bought the dress that she'd be able to get under it and attached the stockings. (Attatching it all before putting on the dress wasn't an option for some reason, don't remember why.) She forgot that when she tried on the dress she wasn't wearing the big foofy underskirt that made finding her underparts impossible. (We had to help her go to the toilet. AWKWARD!) So my aunt and I were both trying to work the garter clips, but due to the fact that neither of us had ever worn this type of stockings we were not real sucessful, and my cousin was having. a. fit.

Grandpa came in to kiss the bride and put her pearls on. (Not sure why, but in our family the grandfather (if he's alive) or an uncle puts the bride's pearls on her.) He observed the chaos and told us to move aside. And did in about 45 seconds what we failed to do for about an hour.

According to him, our step-grandmother (his wife, and cousin's blood grandmother) was a klutz with garter clips too. He also commented that it was like a snow storm down there. (all the lace layers of her dress/slip/under skirt thingie)

The garter that got thrown she put on for the reception. She also wore a long white hippie type dress for the reception because the lace monstrosity was such a pain to walk in.
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: Kimblee on March 03, 2013, 09:04:03 PM
Someone mentioned putting the garter on the girl who catches the bouquet. I've never heard of that tradition. Here (in south Louisiana), the bride sits on the best man's knee and the groom takes the garter off. The groom throws the garter, much like the bouquet toss. The guy who catches it puts it on his arm, around his bicep, and takes a picture with the groom.

That's the norm in our circles too, although I've seen the putting the garter on the bridesmaid, around here its more common that the bridesmaid is owed a kiss or a drink from the grromsman who catches the garter.
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: oogyda on April 12, 2013, 05:58:30 PM
"big foofy underskirt"...otherwise known as a "crinoline".  My DDs have passed around the same one for years (the first use was a prom, I think)...and have loaned it to friends.  The blasted thing just won't die. 
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: Kimblee on April 15, 2013, 08:00:43 PM
"big foofy underskirt"...otherwise known as a "crinoline".  My DDs have passed around the same one for years (the first use was a prom, I think)...and have loaned it to friends.  The blasted thing just won't die.

I knew it had a name.

It was awful. Convinced me i want my wedding dress to be simple and easy drape.
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: whiterose on April 29, 2013, 09:42:48 AM
I already told my mother there will be no garter toss or bouquet toss at my wedding.

I have caught more than one bouquet at more than one wedding- yet still want to keep mine. That, and my wedding will be small and I do not foresee many unmarried female guests.

And given the personalities and backgrounds of my boyfriend and I- garter toss would make us freeze and panic!  :-\
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: Minmom3 on April 29, 2013, 09:07:01 PM
I already told my mother there will be no garter toss or bouquet toss at my wedding.

I have caught more than one bouquet at more than one wedding- yet still want to keep mine. That, and my wedding will be small and I do not foresee many unmarried female guests.

And given the personalities and backgrounds of my boyfriend and I- garter toss would make us freeze and panic!  :-\

My FIL was the head of the theater dept at San Jose State when DH and I got married.  Our chairs and my petticoats came from the theater department.  I had 3 layers of silk petticoats, it was wonderful.  I tossed my bouquet,and we have a very funny picture of his sister catching it - the woman was horizontal in the air!  I kept my hair decorations though, and they're tucked away in a big photo box.
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: YummyMummy66 on June 09, 2013, 03:22:28 PM
At the weddings I have been to over the years,

the bride did not toss her own personal bouquet, but there was always a smaller, separate bouguet that was tossed.

This way, the bride had her own bouquet to keep.
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: mspallaton on October 04, 2013, 03:02:29 PM
A lot of folks have mentioned not liking the garter toss so I just wanted to mention what DH and I did for ours because we found it worked quite well.

I wore two garters (that I put on myself) - one to throw and one to keep as a keepsake.  When it came close to the time for the garter toss, I stepped to the side of the room out of sight and took the garters off myself so I could hand the one for throwing to my newly-minted DH.  We just treated it the same as the bouquet -- it magically appeared in his hand and then it was thrown and that was it.

After each was caught, I took a picture with the lady who caught the bouquet and my DH took a picture with his cousin who had caught the garter.  His cousin wore it on his arm the rest of the night - not out of tradition, but because he was 22 and highly intoxicated, thus making everything in the world hilarious to him.  (Just to clarify - he was a perfect guest and gentleman... just without proper diction or balance for most of the evening).

The one somewhat non-traditional aspect of the whole thing was that my father was the one who bought the garters from the store.  There was no sentimentality to that or anything -- actually, my father would be weirded out if he thought there was.  It was just that everything was hectic in the days before the wedding and he overheard me telling my mother that I'd forgotten to get a garter and something blue.  So... since my university has blue as one of its colors, he went to the local school branded store and got two that had my school color and logo on them (I didn't even know they made such a thing).  I LOVE that my garter had my school logo on it, but at the time, I was honestly just happy I had one fewer errand to run in those last 72 hours.
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: barkingmad on October 04, 2013, 11:46:53 PM
Oh heck-I made my wedding dress with help from  my mom.. made the garter and just for fun sewed a few washers in it so it was heavy enough to fly!
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: mbbored on October 06, 2013, 11:08:17 AM
I just went to a wedding where if the bride was wearing a garter, it was removed out of sight from the guests. When it came time for the garter toss, the groom picks up a football with the garter wrapped around it and a few lottery tickets stuck between the two. I've never seen men so enthusiastic to go after a garter?
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: Tashigi on October 13, 2013, 12:41:32 AM
I just went to a wedding where if the bride was wearing a garter, it was removed out of sight from the guests. When it came time for the garter toss, the groom picks up a football with the garter wrapped around it and a few lottery tickets stuck between the two. I've never seen men so enthusiastic to go after a garter?

If there were lotto tickets (or a gift card, perhaps?) slipped in the bride's bouquet, I would have been far more enthusiastic about being called up with all of the "single ladies" at my friend's wedding.

Slight tangent - does it strike anyone as ever so slightly... distasteful for the DJ to play the "Jaws" theme while the groom is retrieving the garter?
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: Venus193 on October 13, 2013, 06:31:22 AM
I've never heard of that one before, but yes; it's distasteful.
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: Katana_Geldar on October 13, 2013, 07:54:07 AM
Never heard of that with the garter. We had a garter toss and bouquet toss, which did involve DH removing it from me. I had a throw posy that I tossed, and we both ended up hitting a light fitting and not making it.

Funny thing is, the couple who caught the garter and the bouquet are engaged and we're going to their wedding next month.so, yes, they WERE next!
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: MrTango on October 15, 2013, 03:00:01 PM
I just went to a wedding where if the bride was wearing a garter, it was removed out of sight from the guests. When it came time for the garter toss, the groom picks up a football with the garter wrapped around it and a few lottery tickets stuck between the two. I've never seen men so enthusiastic to go after a garter?

If there were lotto tickets (or a gift card, perhaps?) slipped in the bride's bouquet, I would have been far more enthusiastic about being called up with all of the "single ladies" at my friend's wedding.

Slight tangent - does it strike anyone as ever so slightly... distasteful for the DJ to play the "Jaws" theme while the groom is retrieving the garter?

If I had to pick a John Williams theme for that moment, I'd probably go for either The Raiders' March.  It's just as wrong, but more upbeat.
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: Tashigi on October 16, 2013, 04:16:16 PM
I just went to a wedding where if the bride was wearing a garter, it was removed out of sight from the guests. When it came time for the garter toss, the groom picks up a football with the garter wrapped around it and a few lottery tickets stuck between the two. I've never seen men so enthusiastic to go after a garter?

If there were lotto tickets (or a gift card, perhaps?) slipped in the bride's bouquet, I would have been far more enthusiastic about being called up with all of the "single ladies" at my friend's wedding.

Slight tangent - does it strike anyone as ever so slightly... distasteful for the DJ to play the "Jaws" theme while the groom is retrieving the garter?

If I had to pick a John Williams theme for that moment, I'd probably go for either The Raiders' March.  It's just as wrong, but more upbeat.

And that was the recessional at the ceremony.
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: GlitterIsMyDrug on October 16, 2013, 04:29:25 PM
I just went to a wedding where if the bride was wearing a garter, it was removed out of sight from the guests. When it came time for the garter toss, the groom picks up a football with the garter wrapped around it and a few lottery tickets stuck between the two. I've never seen men so enthusiastic to go after a garter?

If there were lotto tickets (or a gift card, perhaps?) slipped in the bride's bouquet, I would have been far more enthusiastic about being called up with all of the "single ladies" at my friend's wedding.

Slight tangent - does it strike anyone as ever so slightly... distasteful for the DJ to play the "Jaws" theme while the groom is retrieving the garter?

We're actually planning on doing scratchers in a toss bouquet...which we'll toss together and everyone is invited to participate in catching it. I've always hated the idea that the single women in the room are just beside themselves to get married next and willing to go to war with each other to get the flowers that signify they'll be hitched next. Cause ya know, all every woman wants is a husband. I always jumped out of the way of the darn thing. I was only up there because the "Come on Glitter, it's all the single girls, come on!" would get annoying and just standing there not trying to catch it was much easier. Actually at my best friend's wedding one of the kids caught it (she was maybe 10) and she asked me what it meant and I told her she was the next to be married, she dropped it like it bit her! I then rephrased, if that's what she wanted it to mean. Otherwise it was just a cool present she got to take home.

As for the father placing the garter on the bride...yeah...never heard of that one...ew. Especially doing in public? I could see a parent helping daughter get ready and oh whoops we forgot, and dad slipping it on quickly cause it was easiest for him to do it or what have you. But I've never seen it put on as a public display. The worst, get the garter, I've seen was when they tied the grooms hands behind his back and blindfolded him. So he had to go under with his teeth. I saw the bride shift around, whisper something to him then slightly lift her dress. I asked her later what she said and she told me she told him "I moved it, it's on my knee, be quick", I think the groomsmen/DJ came up with the bright plan. He was quick by the way.
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: Winterlight on October 17, 2013, 12:33:23 PM
I tried to picture my dad putting a garter on me. Unless I was costumed as Edward III, there's not a chance in hell he'd do it.
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: Nikko-chan on October 23, 2013, 01:52:33 PM
Never heard of that with the garter. We had a garter toss and bouquet toss, which did involve DH removing it from me. I had a throw posy that I tossed, and we both ended up hitting a light fitting and not making it.

Funny thing is, the couple who caught the garter and the bouquet are engaged and we're going to their wedding next month.so, yes, they WERE next!

Best bouquet and garter toss story ever!
Title: Re: Garter creepiness (PlainTacky0415-04)
Post by: mbbored on November 23, 2013, 01:03:25 PM
I just went to a wedding where if the bride was wearing a garter, it was removed out of sight from the guests. When it came time for the garter toss, the groom picks up a football with the garter wrapped around it and a few lottery tickets stuck between the two. I've never seen men so enthusiastic to go after a garter?

If there were lotto tickets (or a gift card, perhaps?) slipped in the bride's bouquet, I would have been far more enthusiastic about being called up with all of the "single ladies" at my friend's wedding.

Slight tangent - does it strike anyone as ever so slightly... distasteful for the DJ to play the "Jaws" theme while the groom is retrieving the garter?

They also stuck lotto tickets in the bouquet. And they invited all women for the bouquet toss and all men for the garter, not just the singles, because they wanted to pass on the "happiness of the day" not "next to get married."