Etiquette Hell

Forum Administration => Forum Announcements => Topic started by: DottyG on May 30, 2008, 06:20:58 PM

Title: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: DottyG on May 30, 2008, 06:20:58 PM
I thought it might help to have a list of topics that are either 1) possibly contentious or 2) done to death by now.  These are ones that you might want to do a quick search of the site on before you start a new thread on them.  It'll save you a lot of grief, I promise! :)

Ok, first and foremost, EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE READ THE FORUM RULES!!!  They're very easy to find - they're permanently "clipped" to the top of the forum.  There's no excuse for not knowing the rules here!

And, read the Abbreviations/Definitions thread.  You shouldn't ever have to ask what "POD" means when you see it in a thread - it's very well explained for you.


Old-timers, feel free to add to the list.

Everyday Kinda Stuff
 Children Issues
 Food/Restaurant Issues
 Celebrations/Weddings
 Entertainment
 
Lest you think you can't discuss anything here, know that we do have a topic that everyone agrees on! It's best not to bring a snake into a restaurant! :D

Note:
The purpose of the list, though, isn't a definitive "DO NOT EVER SPEAK OF THIS ISSUE EVER AGAIN!"  It's merely a "heads up" that the issue DID get contentious before.  For whatever reason (even if that was that people didn't mind their manners), it got heated.  So, a glance at the past thread(s) related to that issue may provide some guidelines to (the generic) you if you do wish to bring up the subject again.  It's a way of knowing that, for whatever reason, you could be stepping into the quicksand and not realize it.  So, just tread a little lightly and carefully.

That said, there really are some topics that, while not verboten here, really are ones that are SO likely to become heated that it might be best to really, really think hard about starting another thread on them.  Not to say that you can't do so.  But, if a newbie comes in and posts a "Hey everyone!  What do you think about telling my guests that they must take off their shoes and start breastfeeding before pushing their shopping carts into my home?!", you can probably hear the audible groan across the world!

Also, please see War_Doc's post in Reply #235.  It really is a good post.

Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: WestAussieGirl on May 30, 2008, 06:27:10 PM
8.  Changing a baby in public
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: DottyG on May 30, 2008, 06:32:59 PM
HOW COULD I FORGET THAT ONE, WAG?!  :D  You're right Changing a Baby on an Airplane.  (I seem to have blocked it out of my memory - too painful! :D)

Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: MaggieB on May 30, 2008, 06:34:35 PM
9.  Grammar mistakes that drive you crazy.

I know it isn't necessarily etiquette related, but I've seen some threads get pretty heated.   ;)
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: Shores on May 30, 2008, 06:36:23 PM
Birthday parties for yourself

Dollar Dances
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: FoxPaws on May 30, 2008, 07:24:24 PM
Best/Worst/Favorite Song/TVShow/Movie/Book and/or any variation or combination thereof.
Always fun threads, but check first as most have been started already.  8)

The Search feature searches the category that you are in. If you want to search the entire forum, you need to be on the main page.

Also, any thread you reply to is going to pop up in your Show New Replies queue into infinity and beyond. There is - so far - no known way to stop this. (Something to think about before replying to a years old ongoing debate or a hot topic.)
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: MrsO on June 02, 2008, 05:31:35 PM
Not sure if I qualify as an 'old timer' yet  ;D but threads about smoking always get quite heated and end up going round in circles.

Also- knitting? Seriously?
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: cass2591 on June 02, 2008, 05:52:27 PM
Don't forget serving an alcoholic beverage to a pregnant woman.

Smoking while pregnant.

Seat belts, although this doesn't relate to pregnancy, necessarily, though I'm sure someone could object because, after all, some doctor somewhere probably said a seat belt could hurt the fetus. How I don't know, but that doesn't matter.

Children on planes. Children on trains. Children at weddings. Should children stand so an adult can sit?

These are but a few of the topics that make me want to weep into my coffee cup because I know trouble lies ahead.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: jimithing on June 02, 2008, 06:11:31 PM
Cash bars.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: Brentwood on June 02, 2008, 06:18:07 PM
Courtesy "stork spots" in parking lots for pregnant women.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: wheeitsme on June 02, 2008, 06:31:08 PM
You can also use the "advanced search feature" to search posts by "Ehelldame" with the word "locked"

 ;)
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: Lisbeth on June 02, 2008, 09:51:17 PM
Disciplining others' children
Public disciplining of one's own children
Corporal punishment of children, especially in public
Registry information in shower invitations
Reclining one's airplane seat



Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: MrsO on June 03, 2008, 03:54:06 AM
Oops, forgot: Large strollers/pushchairs  (sometimes referred to here as "SUV strollers").

Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: Miss Vertigo on June 03, 2008, 05:01:30 AM
Oops, forgot: Large strollers/pushchairs  (sometimes referred to here as "SUV strollers").

I saw them referred to as 'Baby's First Hummer' in a post this morning and my laptop nearly ended up wearing my cup of tea  ;D

Showers for second babies.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: L.A. Lady on June 03, 2008, 08:44:46 PM
Any thread that has to do with smoking.

I'm not sure if this has been covered here, but a lot have heated conversations seem to start if you say anything negative to say about certain dog breeds.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: MrsO on June 04, 2008, 03:24:20 AM
I'm not sure if this has been covered here, but a lot have heated conversations seem to start if you say anything negative to say about certain dog breeds.
Pet threads in general can end up quite heated. How one cares for their pet, how one disciplines their pet, even what pet someone has.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: purplemuse on June 04, 2008, 09:49:26 AM
Don't forget the subject of laxatives in brownies...
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: rashea on June 04, 2008, 09:59:26 AM
Oops, forgot: Large strollers/pushchairs  (sometimes referred to here as "SUV strollers").

I saw them referred to as 'Baby's First Hummer' in a post this morning and my laptop nearly ended up wearing my cup of tea  ;D

Showers for second babies.

That's generally a good tip. Don't drink and read!
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: DottyG on June 04, 2008, 10:02:20 AM
Something else for our Newbies - READ THE FORUM RULES!!!  They're very easy to find - they're permanently "clipped" to the top of the forum.  There's no excuse for not knowing the rules here.

And, read the Abbreviations/Definitions thread.  You shouldn't ever have to ask what "POD" means when you see it in a thread - it's very well explained for you. ;)

Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: Trisha on June 04, 2008, 12:53:10 PM
ANYTHING to do with vegetarianism.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: Flora Louise on June 04, 2008, 04:52:18 PM
Cake and punch receptions
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: L.A. Lady on June 04, 2008, 04:54:15 PM
Cake and punch receptions

Serving alcohol at receptions/parties.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: Bob Ducca on June 04, 2008, 10:32:15 PM
Sleeping arrangements: host's perogative or for guest to dictate?

That one almost always veers off into a discussion on morality and religion, and etiquette tends to get lost.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: MrsO on June 05, 2008, 03:30:13 AM
Anyone else starting to think it's be quicker to list the things we can talk about without getting into a heated discussion?  :P  ;D
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: Flora Louise on June 05, 2008, 09:58:49 AM
Ha! Yes it would be quicker. The answer apparently is "nothing." It's a shame nearly every topic needs to devolve but there seem to be people determined to always take offense at every oppotunity.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: DottyG on June 05, 2008, 10:03:45 AM
This thread isn't just for contentious topics.  It's also to let the newbies know what topics have just been done so many times that starting a new thread on it would be overkill.

See the examples earlier in the thread for some of these.  They're not contentious, just "please don't start yet another one on this" topics.



Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: rashea on June 05, 2008, 10:40:02 AM
Honestly, I don't mind the contentious threads. I tend to get into it (though those are threads where I try to read my message a few times before hitting post to ensure that I've chosen words carefully). If you don't like those threads, just stay out of them (not intended to be snarky). And for the "done to death threads" I admit, I just ignore them. Let the people who haven't read the same arguments a thousand times enjoy the debate.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: DottyG on June 05, 2008, 11:45:49 AM
Once again, this thread is a courtesy to our newbies.  Even a moderator has agreed above that there are certain topics that, when presented as "Hey!  I know this is probably a new thought, but have you people ever heard of people who want you to take your shoes off when entering someone's home?!" make about 99% of the posters here want to strike their heads against a desk.  YES, we know about this issue.  And, if you (generic newbie you) would lurk just a day or so and do a search, you'd see all the discussion about it! :)  Jump into one of THOSE threads instead of starting a whole new one - doing that will keep you from looking foolish as a newbie and will help you assimilate better!

This thread is not meant to be snarky.  It's meant to be a helpful TOOL for our newbies to learn what the most popular (and sometimes a little rough) threads have been in the past.  It's a good way of giving them a heads up as to what's what at EHell, so they feel more comfortable here more quickly.

Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: cass2591 on June 05, 2008, 06:31:27 PM
Frankly, what annoys me more than the repetition of certain threads is that those who know better participate badly. By badly, I mean they become snarky and rude when they are the ones who should be setting an example by demonstrating that disagreements, even heated ones, still require civility.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: Ticia on June 10, 2008, 09:52:26 PM
Anyone else starting to think it's be quicker to list the things we can talk about without getting into a heated discussion?  :P  ;D

I believe that is limited to one topic: It's not ok to bring your snake into a restaurant.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: cass2591 on June 10, 2008, 09:58:03 PM
Quote
I believe that is limited to one topic: It's not ok to bring your snake into a restaurant.

Sez hoo? 8) 8) 8) ::) ::) ::) ::) >:D >:D >:D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: littleblue on June 10, 2008, 10:09:19 PM
What if my snake is really well behaved and precious?  What about all those people who think I'm funny and unique for bringing my snake to a restaurant?  What national news headline about a waitress being bitten by a diner's snake? 
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: Scritzy on June 10, 2008, 11:02:00 PM
Is it okay if the snake is in its snakeskin cozy and carried in a Delicious brand purse?

(Just kidding. I'm terrified of snakes.)
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: blue2000 on June 11, 2008, 12:32:23 AM
What if it is a therapy snake? No one can get near me without being bitten. That reduces my anxiety levels and makes me feel safe! ;) ;D

If the other diners want to feel safe, let them get their own snake.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: CrayonOutlines on June 11, 2008, 08:32:17 AM
Is it okay if the snake is in its snakeskin cozy and carried in a Delicious brand purse?

Snakeskin cozy!!!!  HA!  Thanks for the mental image, Scritzy!   ;D
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: Brentwood on June 11, 2008, 12:05:54 PM
What if I want my snake sauteed in garlic and served in a wine sauce?
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: FoxPaws on June 11, 2008, 04:28:27 PM
What if I want my snake sauteed in garlic and served in a wine sauce?
Isn't it rude to bring you own food into the restaurant? :P

Ack! I now have a mental image of dinner at the Hiss 'n Sizzle.  :-X
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: purplemuse on June 13, 2008, 02:10:22 PM
What if it is a therapy snake? No one can get near me without being bitten. That reduces my anxiety levels and makes me feel safe! ;) ;D

If the other diners want to feel safe, let them get their own snake.

I want one!
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: Lisbeth on June 13, 2008, 03:13:07 PM
Really?  I have to pay for a snake sitter?

What if it's a snake-friendly restaurant?  It's the perfect opportunity for me to teach my snake how to eat politely and not bite (at least, not let the fang marks show!)

>:D
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: Midnight Kitty on June 13, 2008, 04:26:48 PM
Fortunately we don't have snakes in Hawaii, so I won't worry about restaurant snake etiquette >:D
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: Veronica on June 13, 2008, 05:52:28 PM
Fortunately we don't have snakes in Hawaii, so I won't worry about restaurant snake etiquette >:D

(((Veronica goes off to look for jobs in Hawaii)))
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: Brentwood on June 13, 2008, 06:04:28 PM

(((Veronica goes off to look for jobs in Hawaii)))

They might have some creatures in Hawaii that are as bad as snakes or worse...

(Of course, I'd still welcome a chance to visit our Midnight Kitty.)
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: ginlyn32 on June 13, 2008, 06:45:07 PM
Discussion about Child Free anything really.

It usually becomes a debate with parents on one side and Child-Free on the other. It never ends well.

Work Lunch Theives. Someone ALWAYS suggests putting laxative in a food item to catch the "theif" and someone else always points out that they (the OP) could get charged with Assult.

Ginger
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: JoieGirl7 on June 14, 2008, 01:13:50 AM
I was taking my snake to a restaurant when I stopped by a friend's house to pick up a stocking cap that she had been knitting for me, but it smelled of smoke, (because her domestic SO smokes) and so I threw it at her when she got mad at me for not taking off my shoes upon entering her house and she also took offense because I had my sister's child with me so that she could be child-free for the afternoon and I am childless so I had to use her extra big stroller because her child is extra big, but that's because he doesn't eat a vegetarian diet and she wouldn't breastfeed him.  Her door was too small for the stroller!  Imagine!
 
Anyway, I told her to forget it and that I would now for sure never share any of my great recipes and that she had made me late and I would now have to catch a bus on which I needed to change the babies diaper.  I don't know if anyone said anything, because I had my iPod turned up all the way.
 
We got off at our stop and at the restaurant, since the waitress spilled a drink on my snake and made snarky comments about him being a snake and all, I only left her a 10 cent tip.
 
But, now I have enough money for when my snake and I attend my other sisters wedding next week.
 
I'm a bridesmaid.  I sure hope she doesn't go all Bridezilla and expect that I won't wear my snake down the aisle!
 >:D


Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: blue2000 on June 14, 2008, 07:00:44 AM
And here we have a fine example of the Personzilla. ;) Rudeness for every occasion, and undiscriminating hatred for all.

Except the snake, of course. ;D
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: Midnight Kitty on June 14, 2008, 03:22:52 PM
I think you got it all covered in one post, Ckimoo65.  Good job!

To those who wonder what Hawaii might have to fill the niche left by the snakes: It's mosquito season all year round ;)

No really, we have a couple spiders with pesky bites, but no "poisonous spiders."  If one hikes up into the forest reserve, watch out for feral pigs.  You don't want to startle one or accidentally back it into a corner.  Otherwise, they will run away rather than attack humans.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: JoieGirl7 on June 14, 2008, 04:07:29 PM
I think you got it all covered in one post, Ckimoo65.  Good job!

To those who wonder what Hawaii might have to fill the niche left by the snakes: It's mosquito season all year round ;)

No really, we have a couple spiders with pesky bites, but no "poisonous spiders."  If one hikes up into the forest reserve, watch out for feral pigs.  You don't want to startle one or accidentally back it into a corner.  Otherwise, they will run away rather than attack humans.

You have cowardly feral pigs  :o  Wow!  Too bad they don't eat mosquitos!
 
OT/  About the snake:  My DH and I were at PetSmart last night buying a bigger home for our leopard gecko.  The girl who was feeding the snakes and lizards had a small ball python wrapped around her neck!
 
She said that he was cold and that she was trying to warm him up.  When I first saw her, I didn't know it was a real snake--it just looked like she had some sort of snake colored neck roll on the back of her neck.
 
But, sure enough, it was a real snake!
 
She is studying zoology at a local university here and we had a very interesting conversation.  She knows a lot about snakes and lizards but her passion for when she gets her degree is to go "save the cheetahs!"

(Of course at PetSmart you expect people to have all sorts of animals on or about their person.)
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: CrayonOutlines on June 15, 2008, 08:48:24 AM
Ckimoo -- you're a paragon of good etiquette!   :P

GREAT story!  HA!
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: Scritzy on June 15, 2008, 01:53:06 PM
When I visited Alligator Adventure last fall, one of the trainers was wearing a snake as a hat.

I was seriously weirded out. *shudder*
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: JoieGirl7 on June 15, 2008, 02:02:40 PM
When I visited Alligator Adventure last fall, one of the trainers was wearing a snake as a hat.

I was seriously weirded out. *shudder*

I kind of like snakes.  If you look at how intricate their features are on their face, it seems incredible how finely detailed they are--especially baby snakes.
 
And they aren't slimy at all.  I wouldn't want one as a pet though because they are escape artists.
 
But, I think they are cool.  I don't know that I would wear one as a hat though!  ;D
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: Shores on June 16, 2008, 08:38:51 AM
We should add the "Isn't it funny that the interesting assumption line is overused/used wrong on this site???" to the overdone threads. I swear I've seen 4 or 5 of them go by
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: Brentwood on June 16, 2008, 10:09:42 AM
We should add the "Isn't it funny that the interesting assumption line is overused/used wrong on this site???" to the overdone threads. I swear I've seen 4 or 5 of them go by

What an interesting assumption.






















***hides***
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: Shores on June 16, 2008, 10:16:21 AM
We should add the "Isn't it funny that the interesting assumption line is overused/used wrong on this site???" to the overdone threads. I swear I've seen 4 or 5 of them go by

What an interesting assumption.

***hides***
That's it. You guys are such bullies. I'm taking my thread.... and I'm going home!
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: JoieGirl7 on June 16, 2008, 01:10:46 PM
Don't pull the thread!  The whole site will UNRAVEL!   >:D
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: Scritzy on June 16, 2008, 06:17:21 PM
Don't worry, I'll sew it up. Or knit it.  ;D
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: Midnight Kitty on June 16, 2008, 08:55:51 PM
Don't worry, I'll sew it up. Or knit it.  ;D
I've got my crochet hook handy.  Just keep talking: I promise I'm paying attention with at least half my brain  >:D
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: purplemuse on June 30, 2008, 09:39:58 AM
Thanks for all the snake talk, everybody-- now I've got bug and worm ads on this page.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: magicdomino on June 30, 2008, 09:58:41 AM
Thanks for all the snake talk, everybody-- now I've got bug and worm ads on this page.

Giant Snakes New Pics      :)


Another contentious subject that has been covered:  "Cats  --  Should they be allowed outside?"

I think we have done the "Dogs -- Okay to leave Outdoors all of the time?"  subject too, although it may have been part of another thread.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: Clara Bow on July 16, 2008, 12:06:33 AM
Please....please....please...no more rants, vents, etc. The Dame herself made the rule, they always end in drama and people invariably get their feelings hurt.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: Lisbeth on July 16, 2008, 11:35:05 PM
Please don't post links to sensational crime stories.  (This is in the rules.)

Ehelldame has said in earlier versions of this forum that criminal acts are not about etiquette.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: Lisbeth on July 17, 2008, 12:25:32 PM
A new topic for the list: Peanut-free schools and camps.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: MrsO on July 17, 2008, 05:15:39 PM
A new topic for the list: Peanut-free schools and camps.
??? I'm a  bit confused, this thread doesn't seem to be getting heated to me.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: DottyG on July 17, 2008, 05:18:37 PM
A new topic for the list: Peanut-free schools and camps.
??? I'm a  bit confused, this thread doesn't seem to be getting heated to me.

I think she means that it's overdone at this point.  We had this topic discussed in just about every way possible by now.  It seems as if a new thread on the subject pops up monthly - it'd be better for our new members to just contribute to one of the existing threads rather than start yet another one.

And, Keen, I've added it to the list in the OP.

Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: MrsO on July 17, 2008, 05:20:05 PM
Ah, I understand. Sorry! I didn't realise there had been lots of other threads on this subject.  :-[
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: Lisbeth on July 17, 2008, 10:23:27 PM
Thanks, Dottyg.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: celine.lechat on August 28, 2008, 03:58:15 AM
I didn't find a mention of telemarketer threads. Aren't they both overdone and rude?

BTW, I think this topic should be pinned... and maybe reorganised so that all the "off-limits" subjects show up on the first page.
Thanks to Dottyg for starting it, it's really helpful!
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: Venus193 on August 28, 2008, 07:01:22 PM
I don't know about telemarketer threads, but another phone subject always repeats itself:

Bad Cell Phone Behavior.

Although sometimes I think this needs to be discussed frequently because we have to declare war on this plague on society.   ;D
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: Scritzy on August 28, 2008, 07:23:37 PM
And there are so many different kinds of bad cell-phone behavior.

Cell phones on public transit, cell phones in the bathroom, cell phones at church, cell phones at the movies ...

Yeah, it's kind of a plague. :)
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: FoxPaws on August 28, 2008, 08:14:48 PM
Although sometimes I think this needs to be discussed frequently because we have to declare war on this plague on society.   ;D
Until it becomes socially acceptable to shove the phones where the...uh...signal won't pick up, it's going to be an uphill battle. :-X ;D
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: Scritzy on August 28, 2008, 08:17:00 PM
Although sometimes I think this needs to be discussed frequently because we have to declare war on this plague on society.   ;D
Until it becomes socially acceptable to shove the phones where the...uh...signal won't pick up, it's going to be an uphill battle. :-X ;D

ROFL!!

Can you hear me now? Um ... hello?
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: Lisbeth on August 28, 2008, 08:22:15 PM
Although sometimes I think this needs to be discussed frequently because we have to declare war on this plague on society.   ;D
Until it becomes socially acceptable to shove the phones where the...uh...signal won't pick up, it's going to be an uphill battle. :-X ;D

ROFL!!

Can you hear me now? Um ... hello?

I think this is a "roaming" call.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: Scritzy on August 28, 2008, 08:23:05 PM
Although sometimes I think this needs to be discussed frequently because we have to declare war on this plague on society.   ;D
Until it becomes socially acceptable to shove the phones where the...uh...signal won't pick up, it's going to be an uphill battle. :-X ;D

ROFL!!

Can you hear me now? Um ... hello?

I think this is a "roaming" call.

Okay, I just choked my Coke.

ROFLMBO!!
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: BethanyAnne on August 28, 2008, 08:39:13 PM
Although sometimes I think this needs to be discussed frequently because we have to declare war on this plague on society.   ;D
Until it becomes socially acceptable to shove the phones where the...uh...signal won't pick up, it's going to be an uphill battle. :-X ;D

ROFL!!

Can you hear me now? Um ... hello?

I think this is a "roaming" call.

Okay, sherbet on the laptop is not easy to clean, but that was funny  ;D

Edited to fix quotes.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: Venus193 on August 28, 2008, 09:06:12 PM
I'm sure the roaming charges are prohibitive under that plan.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: Scritzy on August 28, 2008, 10:40:16 PM
"Honey, where did all these roaming charges come from?"

"Well, um, it's like this. I answered my phone during The Dark Knight, and somebody ... well, he ... oh, never mind, I'll pay for it."
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: C0mputerGeek on September 24, 2008, 03:40:40 PM
12) Various condiments that "should always be on the table" when eating

I don't remember this one at all. I can't even imagine how this would be an etiquette issue.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: DottyG on September 24, 2008, 03:41:43 PM
12) Various condiments that "should always be on the table" when eating

I don't remember this one at all. I can't even imagine how this would be an etiquette issue.

It's a current one!  Look in the Life section.

Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: Sharon F on September 24, 2008, 03:56:16 PM
It being rude to touch a pregnant belly without asking.

Having never been pregnant and never having felt the urge to do such a thing, I didnt realize until this forum it was such a problem.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: DottyG on September 24, 2008, 04:01:46 PM
You're going to think me strange, but bear with me.

I need another one to add in addition to the one above.  If I just add this one, it'll be 13 issues.  I'm not superstitious (well, maybe a little), but I just can't add a 13th without a 14th! :D

Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: C0mputerGeek on September 24, 2008, 04:02:57 PM
You're going to think me strange, but bear with me.

I need another one to add in addition to the one above.  If I just add this one, it'll be 13 issues.  I'm not superstitious (well, maybe a little), but I just can't add a 13th without a 14th! :D

Giving priority to the handicap for handicap stalls in restrooms?
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: MrsO on September 24, 2008, 05:57:53 PM
Adding another one here: Kids playing in the street.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: DottyG on September 24, 2008, 06:03:39 PM
Adding another one here: Kids playing in the street.

That one's already been added. ;)

Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: MrsO on September 24, 2008, 06:04:37 PM
Adding another one here: Kids playing in the street.

That one's already been added. ;)


Oops! Ignore me, I have a newborn baby, I'm surviving on very little sleep.  ;)
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: HollysCats on September 28, 2008, 09:49:05 PM
Parking on the street in front of someone else's house.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: evely28 on September 28, 2008, 10:30:23 PM
Parking on the street in front of someone else's house.


OK. I think that's #13.
I'll add a possible 14

Assuming the best of someone, rather than the worst.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: MerryRaven on September 28, 2008, 10:57:36 PM
By the way, when my lunch gets stolen at work I do not do anything dangerous or illegal.

I just have my son-in-law make me his 8 alarm curry dish.  He likes it hot, very very hot and the mild version is very tasty also so I eat the mild and leave the hot and the red face, sweating and all the water drinking identify the thief. 

I think the contentious threads teach us that there are all kind of different ways to look at the world.

My first shopping cart thread about 3 years ago was a revalation.  (never again I swear)

I have another:

Relatives should they or should they not be in the birthing room.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: Lisbeth on September 28, 2008, 11:00:13 PM
A new one for the list: Anything whatsoever about reading threads all the way through.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: Lisbeth on September 29, 2008, 10:20:38 PM
Two other new ones for the list:  Inviting couples together and seating them together.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: MrsO on September 30, 2008, 03:11:17 AM


My first shopping cart thread about 3 years ago was a revalation.  (never again I swear)

Shopping cart thread? I can't imagine why this would be an etiquette issue (although I'm sure it is- if shoes in the house are, then anything's possible  ;D ).
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: DottyG on September 30, 2008, 09:17:48 AM
Shopping cart thread? I can't imagine why this would be an etiquette issue (although I'm sure it is- if shoes in the house are, then anything's possible  ;D ).

Don't ask.  Trust me! :D

Hey, y'all - just a reminder...this thread is for seriously overdone and/or "we know they're contentious" topics.  It looks like we're starting to get some suggestions for additions for things that may or may not need to be put on the list.  This is just a "heads up" for our newbies as to the topics that they'd be better off doing a search for before starting a new thread on - not every possible topic that could be discussed here (we'd run out of things to talk about if we put everything on this list!)



Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: Lisbeth on September 30, 2008, 09:51:37 AM
Shopping cart thread? I can't imagine why this would be an etiquette issue (although I'm sure it is- if shoes in the house are, then anything's possible  ;D ).

Don't ask.  Trust me! :D

Hey, y'all - just a reminder...this thread is for seriously overdone and/or "we know they're contentious" topics.  It looks like we're starting to get some suggestions for additions for things that may or may not need to be put on the list.  This is just a "heads up" for our newbies as to the topics that they'd be better off doing a search for before starting a new thread on - not every possible topic that could be discussed here (we'd run out of things to talk about if we put everything on this list!)

Well, the topics I mentioned in my last two posts come up all the time, generally because newbies (even oldies sometimes) take issue with established rules of etiquette.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: DottyG on September 30, 2008, 09:58:54 AM
Shopping cart thread? I can't imagine why this would be an etiquette issue (although I'm sure it is- if shoes in the house are, then anything's possible  ;D ).

Don't ask.  Trust me! :D

Hey, y'all - just a reminder...this thread is for seriously overdone and/or "we know they're contentious" topics.  It looks like we're starting to get some suggestions for additions for things that may or may not need to be put on the list.  This is just a "heads up" for our newbies as to the topics that they'd be better off doing a search for before starting a new thread on - not every possible topic that could be discussed here (we'd run out of things to talk about if we put everything on this list!)

Well, the topics I mentioned in my last two posts come up all the time, generally because newbies (even oldies sometimes) take issue with established rules of etiquette.

Sorry - I wasn't picking on your topics!  I was speaking in general.

Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: Lisbeth on September 30, 2008, 10:01:13 AM
Shopping cart thread? I can't imagine why this would be an etiquette issue (although I'm sure it is- if shoes in the house are, then anything's possible  ;D ).

Don't ask.  Trust me! :D

Hey, y'all - just a reminder...this thread is for seriously overdone and/or "we know they're contentious" topics.  It looks like we're starting to get some suggestions for additions for things that may or may not need to be put on the list.  This is just a "heads up" for our newbies as to the topics that they'd be better off doing a search for before starting a new thread on - not every possible topic that could be discussed here (we'd run out of things to talk about if we put everything on this list!)

Well, the topics I mentioned in my last two posts come up all the time, generally because newbies (even oldies sometimes) take issue with established rules of etiquette.

Sorry - I wasn't picking on your topics!  I was speaking in general.

I understand that-I didn't think you were taking issue with me or the topics I mentioned.

I agree that not every topic that becomes really controversial can be listed here-but this thread is still useful to let people know where the ground is soft.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: ginlyn32 on October 02, 2008, 12:24:57 PM
If school/team fundraisers aren't on the list, they should be.

I think in the last week alone, there have been like 3 threads on fundraisers.

Ginger
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: Redneck Gravy on December 04, 2008, 01:41:35 PM
I thought it might help to have a list of topics that are either 1) possibly contentious or 2) done to death by now.  These are ones that you might want to do a quick search of the site on before you start a new thread on them.  It'll save you a lot of grief, I promise! :)

Old-timers, feel free to add to the list.

1) Removing shoes in the house - yes or no?
2) Breastfeeding - ok in public or not?
3) Knitting (just do a search - it's too bizarre to try to explain!)
4) Shopping carts - take them back or leave them in the parking lot?
5) Is it "Childfree" or "Childless"
6) Tipping - necessary or not?
7) Sharing your recipes - do you have to do it?
8 ) Bringing outside food/drink into movie theaters
9) Peanut allergies
10) Any kind of retaliatory actions against people who steal from you (ie, putting Ex-Lax in food so that a thief in your office "learns" not to steal food from you is ILLEGAL.  Please don't post that it's a good idea to do something like this.  It's not looked upon well here at EHell.)
11) Is it ok for kids to play in the middle of the street?
12) Various condiments that "should always be on the table" when eating



I CANNOT find knitting - is it like Scrabble?
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: MDefarge on December 04, 2008, 01:50:03 PM
I thought it might help to have a list of topics that are either 1) possibly contentious or 2) done to death by now.  These are ones that you might want to do a quick search of the site on before you start a new thread on them.  It'll save you a lot of grief, I promise! :)

Old-timers, feel free to add to the list.

1) Removing shoes in the house - yes or no?
2) Breastfeeding - ok in public or not?
3) Knitting (just do a search - it's too bizarre to try to explain!)
4) Shopping carts - take them back or leave them in the parking lot?
5) Is it "Childfree" or "Childless"
6) Tipping - necessary or not?
7) Sharing your recipes - do you have to do it?
8 ) Bringing outside food/drink into movie theaters
9) Peanut allergies
10) Any kind of retaliatory actions against people who steal from you (ie, putting Ex-Lax in food so that a thief in your office "learns" not to steal food from you is ILLEGAL.  Please don't post that it's a good idea to do something like this.  It's not looked upon well here at EHell.)
11) Is it ok for kids to play in the middle of the street?
12) Various condiments that "should always be on the table" when eating





I CANNOT find knitting - is it like Scrabble?

No, I think it's literal knitting - whether or not it is rude to do so while talking to others/at someone elses house/at the movies etc.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: Redneck Gravy on December 04, 2008, 02:07:50 PM
DUH - sorry

 I crochet and I never make the connection (two needles versus one I guess)
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: C0mputerGeek on December 08, 2008, 05:31:21 PM
I thought it might help to have a list of topics that are either 1) possibly contentious or 2) done to death by now.  These are ones that you might want to do a quick search of the site on before you start a new thread on them.  It'll save you a lot of grief, I promise! :)

Old-timers, feel free to add to the list.

1) Removing shoes in the house - yes or no?
2) Breastfeeding - ok in public or not?
3) Knitting (just do a search - it's too bizarre to try to explain!)
4) Shopping carts - take them back or leave them in the parking lot?
5) Is it "Childfree" or "Childless"
6) Tipping - necessary or not?
7) Sharing your recipes - do you have to do it?
8 ) Bringing outside food/drink into movie theaters
9) Peanut allergies
10) Any kind of retaliatory actions against people who steal from you (ie, putting Ex-Lax in food so that a thief in your office "learns" not to steal food from you is ILLEGAL.  Please don't post that it's a good idea to do something like this.  It's not looked upon well here at EHell.)
11) Is it ok for kids to play in the middle of the street?
12) Various condiments that "should always be on the table" when eating

We should probably add "clothing to wear when reporting for jury duty" to the list, even though I don't really think that will come up again.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: Scritzy on December 08, 2008, 06:33:17 PM
We should probably add "clothing to wear when reporting for jury duty" to the list, even though I don't really think that will come up again.

Gad, I hope not.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: guihong on February 26, 2009, 10:56:59 PM
Add "how to respond to door-to-door solicitors/pamphlet hander-outers/find Daisys visitors".
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: Scritzy on February 26, 2009, 11:13:48 PM
Add "how to respond to door-to-door solicitors/pamphlet hander-outers/find Daisys visitors".

And telemarketers.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: Lisbeth on February 26, 2009, 11:16:02 PM
Add "how to respond to door-to-door solicitors/pamphlet hander-outers/find Daisys visitors".

And telemarketers.

And fundraisers at work.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: Lisbeth on March 20, 2009, 12:23:28 PM
One other one: Mary Sues.   There are getting to be large numbers of Mary Sue threads.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: L.A. Lady on March 20, 2009, 01:16:14 PM
One other one: Mary Sues.   There are getting to be large numbers of Mary Sue threads.

What is a Mary Sue thread?
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: Scritzy on March 20, 2009, 02:51:35 PM
One other one: Mary Sues.   There are getting to be large numbers of Mary Sue threads.

I've missed the Mary Sues. I must not be reading in the right category.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: Lisbeth on March 20, 2009, 03:35:29 PM
One other one: Mary Sues.   There are getting to be large numbers of Mary Sue threads.

What is a Mary Sue thread?

Threads about books with characters considered either too good to be true or who have to overcome intense obstacles to achieve goals (and do it).
Title: Re: For Our Newbies
Post by: Lisbeth on March 22, 2009, 09:27:50 PM
One other one: Mary Sues.   There are getting to be large numbers of Mary Sue threads.

I've missed the Mary Sues. I must not be reading in the right category.

They're in Time for a Coffee Break or Entertainment and News.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: Peggy Gus on July 12, 2009, 06:38:20 PM
Due to the overwhelming disagreement and the fact that the threads got hostile, I think the issue of reclining your seat on an airplane or train should be added to the list.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: azleaneo on July 13, 2009, 01:32:17 PM
Due to the overwhelming disagreement and the fact that the threads got hostile, I think the issue of reclining your seat on an airplane or train should be added to the list.

Keenreader mentioned the airplane seat on June 2nd, 2008 in this thread.

(Must be a yearly occurance!)
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: Midnight Kitty on July 13, 2009, 02:13:04 PM
Due to the overwhelming disagreement and the fact that the threads got hostile, I think the issue of reclining your seat on an airplane or train should be added to the list.

Keenreader mentioned the airplane seat on June 2nd, 2008 in this thread.

(Must be a yearly occurrence!)

Coinciding with the summer travel season perhaps  >:D
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: Peggy Gus on July 13, 2009, 09:14:57 PM
Due to the overwhelming disagreement and the fact that the threads got hostile, I think the issue of reclining your seat on an airplane or train should be added to the list.

Keenreader mentioned the airplane seat on June 2nd, 2008 in this thread.

(Must be a yearly occurance!)

Doh! I didn't see it- thanks for letting me know.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: Elfqueen13 on July 15, 2009, 02:53:11 PM
I know I saw shoes in the house, but what about shoes at work? 
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: kingsrings on July 28, 2009, 03:08:32 PM
Hmm…..I don’t remember the topic of shoes at work ever becoming heated or hostile.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: Elfqueen13 on July 28, 2009, 03:25:15 PM
Hmm…..I don’t remember the topic of shoes at work ever becoming heated or hostile.
.

It might have been on the old site; I remember one thread especially that got exceptionally long.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: kingsrings on July 28, 2009, 03:58:54 PM
Oh…I must of forgotten that one I guess.

A lot of threads re seat issues seem to get heated (besides the airplane ones). Who has the right to a seat, who sits where, who owns a seat and who doesn’t, and couples sitting together.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: twinkletoes on July 28, 2009, 04:23:36 PM
I can't believe NO ONE mentioned the etiquette of requesting recipes!  That thread went on for pages and pages - should you refuse a request for a recipe, should you even ask for a recipe, etc., etc.?
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: cass2591 on July 28, 2009, 04:30:52 PM
I've noticed that some previously heated topics are much less so when brought up again. I think it's because people know better and are much more polite in their disagreement.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: MrsO on July 28, 2009, 05:12:24 PM
I've noticed that some previously heated topics are much less so when brought up again. I think it's because people know better and are much more polite in their disagreement.

Cass, you took the words right out of my mouth! I was literally thinking this exact thing earlier today. Great minds, and all that.  ;)
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: camlan on July 28, 2009, 05:17:53 PM
Is there any way all these hot topics can be listed in the first post in this thread? I know most of them, because I've been here awhile. Someone who's new would have to wade through over 100 posts to catch all of them. That's a lot of posts.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: DottyG on July 28, 2009, 05:36:38 PM
Is there any way all these hot topics can be listed in the first post in this thread? I know most of them, because I've been here awhile. Someone who's new would have to wade through over 100 posts to catch all of them. That's a lot of posts.

I'll try to get to that as soon as I can.  It's going to take a while for me to do that, too, so you'll have to be patient with it.

Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: Drunken Housewife on July 28, 2009, 10:06:48 PM
I can't believe no one has mentioned this continual source of high blood pressure and bad will between ehellions:

any mention of a pet cat which is allowed by its owner to go outside.

The very fact that some people allow a cat to go outside makes some eHellions practically spit blood, and yet many (particularly British eHellions) cannot get their mind around the horribleness of a cat being confined for life indoors.  I wince every time a topic comes up involving a cat who went outside.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: kingsrings on July 29, 2009, 10:04:39 AM
That was already mentioned earlier.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: NsWife on July 29, 2009, 10:17:16 AM
And, remember, if you find something really interesting or cool about the Wizard of OZ, make sure to alert DottyG! ;D
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: Lisbeth on July 29, 2009, 10:29:38 AM
Something that's gotten really heated lately is whether or not to tell dinner or wedding hosts about one's food issues unsolicited.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: kingsrings on July 29, 2009, 11:14:56 AM
Halloween – every single year on this forum at Halloween time, there is a discussion on trick or treating – who, when, where, and how children can trick or treat, and what can be given as treats – and it always gets heated. Mark my words – in a couple of months, the discussion will rear it’s ugly head once again.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: MrsO on July 29, 2009, 11:21:41 AM
Halloween – every single year on this forum at Halloween time, there is a discussion on trick or treating – who, when, where, and how children can trick or treat, and what can be given as treats – and it always gets heated. Mark my words – in a couple of months, the discussion will rear it’s ugly head once again.

What a coincidence, I was reading through some old threads today, a few of them were about Hallowe'en. You're right, they were mostly heated, and some locked. Not even about just trick or treating- hallowe'en in schools, the meaning of hallowe'en, if it's offensive to some religions, etc.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: kingsrings on July 29, 2009, 12:19:52 PM
This has come up several times, and it is almost always heated it seems: the appropriate behavior for graduation and wedding ceremonies to express one's joy.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: twinkletoes on July 29, 2009, 01:52:18 PM
I think I've said something like this before:  It's not so much that there are differing opinions on a topic, and that you will probably never get a compromise between Side A and Side B - but it's HOW the opinions are stated that really get folks riled up.  If you assign a value judgment about people who do "x" (EX:  "*I* would never be caught dead eating purple noodles, as it's so stupid and anyone who eats purple noodles is an idiot/uncouth individual/lazy/has halitosis"), then yes, a fight will break out between the two sides. 

I have read some of those heated threads, and I've seen people making comments like "Well, if you do X, you must not care about your pet/child/husband."  I mean, WOW, what an assumption to make! 
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: snowball's chance on July 29, 2009, 07:10:36 PM
Some have been mentioned, I know:

reproductive choices (the Duggars, Octuplet Mom)
Should guests where shoes on or off in the house?
breast-feeding (not just in public)
Shopping carts: return to cart corral in the parking lot, or leave next to your parking space?
Serve or not serve alcohol &/or meat at parties/events
Strollers on buses/trains
cigarette smoking (I've seen the most inocuous of smoking threads turn into "Bash Smokers")
school supplies- do schools/districts/teachers have the right to dictate certain brands (CRAYOLA crayons, MEAD notebooks) on supply lists?
children/pets on planes
Reserved public parking for expectant moms
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: Drunken Housewife on July 29, 2009, 10:46:30 PM
Quote
That was already mentioned earlier.

I read EVERY SINGLE page of this thread before posting and double-checked that it wasn't in the list in the first post collecting the topics.  Dang, it is hard to get things right. :)

Also, the topic of cats outside is such a hot one that me merely posting on here that it is a hot topic got me some pointed PM action.  That is a  hot topic, all right.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: kingsrings on July 30, 2009, 11:34:22 AM
Here’s a way to search a thread for a topic that is much faster, accurate, and easier than going through every single page: click into the thread, then go to the top of the page where the search option is and enter the word you’re searching for. It will take you to every post in the thread that has it.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: War_Doc on July 31, 2009, 12:22:55 PM
Lunch in waiting rooms is one I nominate for this honor.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: DottyG on July 31, 2009, 12:27:53 PM
I think we need to differentiate, though, between a topic that gets debated (in an acceptable way) and a "hot topic".  There really is a difference between the two.  People can have differing opinions in a thread and debate them.  That's not something that needs to be squelched; it's a free and open discussion amongst EHellions.  And, that's good.

What's not good is a topic that brings out the very worst in everyone that posts.  One where it gets super heated and creates a potential for people who normally get along and like each other to say things that hurt their cyberfriends.

I don't see the lunch in the waiting room as a hot topic that's dangerous.  People are pretty cool in there and discussing their views rationally - even if they differ from the views before them.  Granted, it's a topic that, in the future, might be better just continued in the current thread rather than brought up as a completely new issue.  But, then, that's true of pretty much a lot of issues.

Does that make sense?

Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: wordgirl on July 31, 2009, 12:33:42 PM
I think I've said something like this before:  It's not so much that there are differing opinions on a topic, and that you will probably never get a compromise between Side A and Side B - but it's HOW the opinions are stated that really get folks riled up.  If you assign a value judgment about people who do "x" (EX:  "*I* would never be caught dead eating purple noodles, as it's so stupid and anyone who eats purple noodles is an idiot/uncouth individual/lazy/has halitosis"), then yes, a fight will break out between the two sides.  

I have read some of those heated threads, and I've seen people making comments like "Well, if you do X, you must not care about your pet/child/husband."  I mean, WOW, what an assumption to make!  

Right. It's not alwaysthe topic that gets inflammatory. It's the style of debate. And I think almost all of us have been guilty of being swept along in the fire. I know I have.

Almost all the items on Dotty's list constitute valid topics for discussion on EHell. But having the list is still helpful, because it lets us know what topics have resulted in angry-style posts before, and those who have been around awhile take heed not to fan the flames in a topic that's previously been volatile.

(Dotty is also right that there are some "dangerous" topics. I'd put inside/outside cats or kid leashes into that category - people are NEVER going to agree on those issues, so even when there's a question that directly touches on etiquette, it's likely it will get buried under the weight of angry posts on either side. I have seen civil debate on topics related to those items but it's not the norm.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: whylime13 on July 31, 2009, 12:36:48 PM
Thanks for putting together this thread - even though I've been around for awhile I didn't know about some of these.  I think what this thread really highlights is something I was thinking about the other day.  I was talking to a friend about something I read on e-hell but censored myself and said 'oh on the internet somewhere' because saying I was on an etiquette forum sounds boring - but its not!  E-hell is such a dynamic place and we talk about a surprisingly large array of important topics.  
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: MDefarge on July 31, 2009, 01:41:29 PM
Anything, and I mean *anything* to do with where it is/is not ok to change babies.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: nyarlathotep on August 03, 2009, 11:04:54 AM
Twilight, maybe? Although the arguments seem to be dying down now...

[edit] And by that I mean debating its merits, rather than refraining from mentioning it at all, which would just be silly.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: kingsrings on August 03, 2009, 12:11:44 PM
Two other hot topics:

Phone calls and whether it's acceptable or not to call back hang-up numbers.

A woman changing her last name or not upon marriage.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: MDefarge on August 03, 2009, 02:42:03 PM
Wind chimes (although we haven't heard much about that one lately)

Is it ok to feed/ask your neighbor not to feed wild animals (deer, raccoons, etc)

ETA - Is it ever ok to "steal" an animal.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: snowball's chance on August 03, 2009, 02:59:18 PM
Phone calls and whether it's acceptable or not to call back hang-up numbers.

Did we mention: Ringing Phone/Door?  Obligated to answer or ok to ignore?
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: MrsO on August 03, 2009, 05:12:47 PM
Phone calls and whether it's acceptable or not to call back hang-up numbers.

Did we mention: Ringing Phone/Door?  Obligated to answer or ok to ignore?
Really? I've never seen a heated thread about this- usually people agree that it's OK to ignore, don't they?
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: kingsrings on August 03, 2009, 05:26:09 PM
I can't recall this one, either.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: DottyG on August 03, 2009, 05:28:29 PM
I don't, either. ???

Y'all, remember that a "Hot Topic" is what was described a page or so back.  Not just something that's debated.  Heck, if we all agree with each other on everything, it's a dull board!  So, a healthy debate does not a "Hot Topic" make. :)

Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: RoseRose on August 03, 2009, 09:41:37 PM
Anything, and I mean *anything* to do with where it is/is not ok to change babies.

I believe EVERYONE agreed it wasn't okay to change babies on the pattern books at the fabric store.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: MDefarge on August 03, 2009, 09:42:58 PM
Anything, and I mean *anything* to do with where it is/is not ok to change babies.

I believe EVERYONE agreed it wasn't okay to change babies on the pattern books at the fabric store.

Heh, can we call that one the exception that proves the rule?
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: Scritzy on August 03, 2009, 09:43:12 PM
Anything, and I mean *anything* to do with where it is/is not ok to change babies.

I believe EVERYONE agreed it wasn't okay to change babies on the pattern books at the fabric store.

POD! :D
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: DottyG on August 03, 2009, 10:19:29 PM
Anything, and I mean *anything* to do with where it is/is not ok to change babies.

I believe EVERYONE agreed it wasn't okay to change babies on the pattern books at the fabric store.

I disagree.  How dare you keep me from my right to infect pattern books with poop? You have no right to tell me that I can't change my (hypothetical) baby there.







;)

Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: snowball's chance on August 04, 2009, 11:16:51 AM
Phone calls and whether it's acceptable or not to call back hang-up numbers.

Did we mention: Ringing Phone/Door?  Obligated to answer or ok to ignore?
Really? I've never seen a heated thread about this- usually people agree that it's OK to ignore, don't they?

It usually comes up in telemarketer/political/otherwise unwanted phone call threads.  I've seen at least one poster insist in each that they can't/won't get Caller ID, but that they also must answer each incoming call because they don't want to miss an emergency.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: sparksals on August 04, 2009, 01:54:04 PM
Wind chimes?  I've been here a loooong time and didn't know that.

----------------->heading to the search function b/c I can't possibly understand how wind chimes can be heated.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: kingsrings on August 04, 2009, 01:55:58 PM
Of course it can - it's the wind chimes fans vs. the ones who think they're too noisy.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: C0mputerGeek on August 04, 2009, 04:22:39 PM
Wind chimes?  I've been here a loooong time and didn't know that.

----------------->heading to the search function b/c I can't possibly understand how wind chimes can be heated.

If you find the link, would you please PM me with it? I scratched my head when I saw this. I suck at searches and I don't remember this thread.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: MDefarge on August 04, 2009, 04:39:00 PM
Re - windchimes - while this particular thread didn't get locked it did sort of devolve into a "if you have windchimes you you are inconsiderate of your neighbor" vs "its my backyard I can do what I want" from which there is no coming back.  I know there has been more than one thread because that one isn't as heated as I remember them being  - it is entirely possible though that the others were on the old forum.

http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=33450.0 (http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=33450.0)
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: kingsrings on August 05, 2009, 09:37:39 PM
Whether it's okay for businesses to check ID for credit card/check purchases got pretty heated the couple of times it was discussed.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: Lisbeth on August 11, 2009, 07:40:02 AM
A new topic for the list: Peanut-free schools and camps.
??? I'm a  bit confused, this thread doesn't seem to be getting heated to me.

I think she means that it's overdone at this point.  We had this topic discussed in just about every way possible by now.  It seems as if a new thread on the subject pops up monthly - it'd be better for our new members to just contribute to one of the existing threads rather than start yet another one.

And, Keen, I've added it to the list in the OP.



Thanks...a new one got started anyway, and the word "astounded" has appeared in it in relation to opposition to a certain take on the matter.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: Drunken Housewife on August 12, 2009, 02:33:43 PM
I do wish (and I suggested it already) that letting pet cats outdoors be added to the list.  A thread on it this week got hot and locked really quickly.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: twinkletoes on August 12, 2009, 02:45:14 PM
I do wish (and I suggested it already) that letting pet cats outdoors be added to the list.  A thread on it this week got hot and locked really quickly.

*nods*

There were a few of us hiding out in a virtual bunker during that one!
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: Drunken Housewife on August 12, 2009, 06:48:06 PM
I know, I know... I'm afraid to post on that topic, personally.  I just want to spare other cat lovers some high blood pressure and angst.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: M-theory on August 12, 2009, 07:13:15 PM
I know, I know... I'm afraid to post on that topic, personally.  I just want to spare other cat lovers some high blood pressure and angst.

I think there are some topics which you have to conclude the OP is trolling no matter how new they are, unless they're also new to both the Internet, TV, radio, and in general life not spent under a rock.

I clicked the link, read 2 lines, and got away from the computer before I was tempted to post.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: twinkletoes on August 13, 2009, 01:28:42 PM
I know, I know... I'm afraid to post on that topic, personally.  I just want to spare other cat lovers some high blood pressure and angst.

I think there are some topics which you have to conclude the OP is trolling no matter how new they are, unless they're also new to both the Internet, TV, radio, and in general life not spent under a rock.

I clicked the link, read 2 lines, and got away from the computer before I was tempted to post.

That's the thing - should the thread just be automatically locked down?  You know, "I'm taking this away because you all have shown that we can't have nice things."  Which isn't fair to the whole board, as it's usually just only a handful of people acting up, but I can see why it's done.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: M-theory on August 14, 2009, 12:47:50 AM
I know, I know... I'm afraid to post on that topic, personally.  I just want to spare other cat lovers some high blood pressure and angst.

I think there are some topics which you have to conclude the OP is trolling no matter how new they are, unless they're also new to both the Internet, TV, radio, and in general life not spent under a rock.

I clicked the link, read 2 lines, and got away from the computer before I was tempted to post.

That's the thing - should the thread just be automatically locked down?  You know, "I'm taking this away because you all have shown that we can't have nice things."  Which isn't fair to the whole board, as it's usually just only a handful of people acting up, but I can see why it's done.

IMO, yes. Religion and politics are forbidden topics here because threads about them go down in spectacular flames - the same thing happens sooner or later with threads about cats being allowed to roam, so what's the difference, really? It's purely a matter of knowing your citizenry.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: Bob Ducca on August 14, 2009, 08:34:58 AM
I know, I know... I'm afraid to post on that topic, personally.  I just want to spare other cat lovers some high blood pressure and angst.

I think there are some topics which you have to conclude the OP is trolling no matter how new they are, unless they're also new to both the Internet, TV, radio, and in general life not spent under a rock.

I clicked the link, read 2 lines, and got away from the computer before I was tempted to post.

That's the thing - should the thread just be automatically locked down?  You know, "I'm taking this away because you all have shown that we can't have nice things."  Which isn't fair to the whole board, as it's usually just only a handful of people acting up, but I can see why it's done.

I think as long as prior threads are left open, shutting down new threads would be fine, I think.  I think most of our "contentious topics" are contentious because each side has good points, but there's not a clear right and wrong.  The previously locked threads cover the debate very well, so there really should be no need to start another thread.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: twinkletoes on August 14, 2009, 12:05:20 PM
I don't think this has been mentioned in this thread, but what about if it's rude to smuggle food into a movie theatre?
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: Lisbeth on August 14, 2009, 12:06:48 PM
I don't think this has been mentioned in this thread, but what about if it's rude to smuggle food into a movie theatre?

Is that very controversial?  I haven't seen it too much-I know there are some posters who think it's okay due to very high concession prices, but those threads haven't gotten very heated.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: C0mputerGeek on August 14, 2009, 12:38:43 PM
I don't think this has been mentioned in this thread, but what about if it's rude to smuggle food into a movie theatre?

Is that very controversial?  I haven't seen it too much-I know there are some posters who think it's okay due to very high concession prices, but those threads haven't gotten very heated.

Bringing outside food into theatres is very controversial. It's been likened to stealing. I don't know if we've had this debate on this site, but there was more than one locked thread left behind at Delphooey.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: twinkletoes on August 14, 2009, 12:42:05 PM
I don't think this has been mentioned in this thread, but what about if it's rude to smuggle food into a movie theatre?

Is that very controversial?  I haven't seen it too much-I know there are some posters who think it's okay due to very high concession prices, but those threads haven't gotten very heated.

Bringing outside food into theatres is very controversial. It's been likened to stealing. I don't know if we've had this debate on this site, but there was more than one locked thread left behind at Delphooey.

Exactly.  I think it got heated because people were using unflattering descriptors for the "other side."  You know, "people who do this are...." etc.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: C0mputerGeek on August 14, 2009, 12:54:45 PM
Exactly.  I think it got heated because people were using unflattering descriptors for the "other side."  You know, "people who do this are...." etc.

Yes, any debate that begins or ends with some variation of "You sir are scum!" is bound not to go well. Oh, here are some of the old threads about outside food in theatres:
1. Bringing outside food into theaters (http://"http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=37119.0")
2. Movie theater popcorn (http://"http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=12444.0")
3. Daylight robbery at the cinema (http://"http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=26295.0")

We have had this debate here, numerous times, and it tends to get out of hand.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: Midnight Kitty on August 14, 2009, 01:04:18 PM
Exactly.  I think it got heated because people were using unflattering descriptors for the "other side."  You know, "people who do this are...." etc.
This bothers me.  This is, after all, an etiquette forum.  I think this thread lists altogether too many topics to be avoided because posters can't be trusted to engage in civil discourse.  I know it's hopeless in politics (at least in the US today) to expect civil discourse, but I thought the one place I would find people listening to each other's position considerately would be an etiquette forum.  It's not really fair to Newbies to say, "Go back and look for long past locked threads and see what was said there.  It's all been said before and there's nothing new you could bring to the topic."

I don't have a solution, but it bothers me at some deep level.  I guess I would rather have posters warned/gagged temporarily/banned (in that order) for using unflattering descriptors than have threads locked &/or topics banned.  Topics in and of themselves are not rude, although I agree that political and religious discussions have other forums and this is an etiquette forum.

I just wish all posters conducted themselves appropriately regardless of the topic. :-\

Anyone want to borrow my rose-colored glasses  ;) >:D
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: kingsrings on August 14, 2009, 01:23:11 PM
Ideally, we would all be like that, but since we’re all human and have all kinds of different personalities on this large forum, we’re not going to be like that. That’s the cold, hard truth, IMHO. There are always going to be some topics that simply are too controversial and passionate for too many people on here, hence the ban. 
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: blue2000 on August 14, 2009, 01:25:01 PM

I just wish all posters conducted themselves appropriately regardless of the topic. :-\

Anyone want to borrow my rose-colored glasses  ;) >:D

No thanks. I have my own. ;D

Maybe we can pass them around when hot topics come up, along with the coke!
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: Midnight Kitty on August 14, 2009, 03:45:02 PM
Maybe we can pass them around when hot topics come up, along with the coke!
Cheers!

OT to blue2000 - We, too, have two kitties, no waiting ;D  They are full sisters, littermates, and they tag team us.  First one "kneads" (needs), then the other.  We call them our "Needful Things."  >:D (credit to S. King)
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: blue2000 on August 15, 2009, 02:11:38 PM
LOL! That's very sweet of them. :)

Mine simply lie in wait nearby for an opportunity to be petted, close enough to give me a reminding nudge now and then - or make an opportunity by climbing on me and flinging a casual tail in my face. If I'm really ignoring them, they have been known to head-butt me hard enough to bruise. They're not terribly patient kitties. ;D

[/OT]
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: jillybean on August 30, 2009, 10:02:51 PM
I came here to see if hand washing after using the restroom was listed as a hot topic, but this thread has grown to 12 pages long!  I'm wondering if a lot of newbies would be willing to wade through all 12 pages.  Maybe they need to be summarized in the first post or something.  Just a thought.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: Veronica on August 30, 2009, 11:47:27 PM
I came here to see if hand washing after using the restroom was listed as a hot topic, but this thread has grown to 12 pages long!  I'm wondering if a lot of newbies would be willing to wade through all 12 pages.  Maybe they need to be summarized in the first post or something.  Just a thought.

They are summarized in the first post.  Is it not up to date?
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: M-theory on August 31, 2009, 01:16:54 AM
I came here to see if hand washing after using the restroom was listed as a hot topic, but this thread has grown to 12 pages long!  I'm wondering if a lot of newbies would be willing to wade through all 12 pages.  Maybe they need to be summarized in the first post or something.  Just a thought.

Dotty has said earlier in this thread that she'll update the first post when she has the chance. She isn't paid staff, so we''ll just have to be patient. :)
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: DottyG on August 31, 2009, 07:32:00 PM
I'm in the process, but it's a tedious task!  Plus, our list is getting quite long!

Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: DottyG on September 01, 2009, 05:18:02 PM
Ok, the list is fairly up-to-date.

Not everything in this thread is in the OP, because I tried to pick out the really biggies.  If anyone wants to read about some others, the thread's still here, and they can read them as well.  If there's a biggie that I left out, though, let me know.

I also tried to organize it a bit into types of issues.  Hopefully, this makes it a tad easier to read.

(If I listed everything that we've put in the thread, we'd have no more to discuss at EHell! :D)

Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: MrsO on September 01, 2009, 05:22:57 PM
Ok, the list is fairly up-to-date.

Not everything in this thread is in the OP, because I tried to pick out the really biggies.  If anyone wants to read about some others, the thread's still here, and they can read them as well.  If there's a biggie that I left out, though, let me know.

I also tried to organize it a bit into types of issues.  Hopefully, this makes it a tad easier to read.

(If I listed everything that we've put in the thread, we'd have no more to discuss at EHell! :D)



Thank you, Dotty!  :)
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: VorFemme on September 01, 2009, 05:40:20 PM
Hmm…..I don’t remember the topic of shoes at work ever becoming heated or hostile.

The company was run out of the boss's home and it did get a bit long..........I don't remember details anymore - I think it might have been how much the Etiquette Hellion employee knew about the housekeeping (or lack thereof) while watching her boss run around barefoot and trying to talk the employee into being barefoot, too................

But the one poster who seemed to have a very similar writing style to someone who wrote an advice column about the same subject rather set the subject up as suspiciously close to being "troll bait" or possibly as someone's fetish that they were enjoying in all the wrong ways for an etiquette board...........well, nobody wants to talk about shoes in the house.........

Even "in Japan, it is commonly expected to remove shoes and wear slippers provided by the host or brought along by their guests" runs the risk of being side tracked into a thousand or more sidelines.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Snakes on the table at a restaurant - the vast majority of the group agreed that it was a bad idea (they carry salmonella, a lot of people are phobic about snakes, and there is no controlling what they do on the table - unlike babies, they don't wear diapers that MIGHT protect the table a little bit). 

The same thing goes for bug-eating lizards - we might like the idea of the bugs (mice, other vermin) being eaten by lizards, cats, snakes, or whatever - but we don't want to see either the predator or the prey in a restaurant, whether kitchen, dining area, bathroom, or storage areas.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: Midnight Kitty on September 01, 2009, 06:09:29 PM
Even "in Japan, it is commonly expected to remove shoes and wear slippers provided by the host or brought along by their guests" runs the risk of being side tracked into a thousand or more sidelines.
Even in Hawaii, it is considered rude to wear your "outside shoes" inside.  If I recall correctly, and it might have been a different thread, the controversy seemed to be over the unwillingness (or inability) to understand when other cultural practices prevail and "roll with the flow."  When I lived on the US Mainland, I thought it an odd, and affected, practice to take off shoes when entering someone's home.  My bad :P

Although I am now a converted "cats inside only" person, I didn't used to be and I understand both sides of the debate in the US.  It wasn't until posting here that I discovered how practices vary around the world.  I thought it was cool that we could come here & share, until posters abandoned civil discourse and started bashing each other. :-\

This illustrates the problem with a list of subjects that get banned because some posters are rude.  How can we ever learn enough to understand each other if we can't talk about the topic?
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: VorFemme on September 01, 2009, 07:06:32 PM
Even "in Japan, it is commonly expected to remove shoes and wear slippers provided by the host or brought along by their guests" runs the risk of being side tracked into a thousand or more sidelines.
Even in Hawaii, it is considered rude to wear your "outside shoes" inside.  If I recall correctly, and it might have been a different thread, the controversy seemed to be over the unwillingness (or inability) to understand when other cultural practices prevail and "roll with the flow."  When I lived on the US Mainland, I thought it an odd, and affected, practice to take off shoes when entering someone's home.  My bad :P

Although I am now a converted "cats inside only" person, I didn't used to be and I understand both sides of the debate in the US.  It wasn't until posting here that I discovered how practices vary around the world.  I thought it was cool that we could come here & share, until posters abandoned civil discourse and started bashing each other. :-\

This illustrates the problem with a list of subjects that get banned because some posters are rude.  How can we ever learn enough to understand each other if we can't talk about the topic?

Been to Hawaii and I have an aunt married to a man of Japanese ancestry - they have lived and worked in Japan several times over the course of their marriage.  They prefer to run their house "Japanese style" with outdoor shoes kept by the door and people running around barefoot or in slippers (she sews - slippers can be safer - but pins do sweep up on tile or hardwood floors than on carpet). 

Some threads have devolved into "but WE think that it is wrong, unsanitary, rude, nasty, or doing it THAT WAY is KINKY" so everyone should do it the way we do it or else........

Shades of Star Trek:  Deep Space Nine with a Ferengi making comments about how "kinky" it is for hoo mans to let their women wear clothes, because that just isn't the way the Ferengi do things.............but I digress. 

I really don't see wearing shoes or not wearing shoes indoors as a religious issue, a hygienic nightmare due to the possibility of cross-contamination, a political issue, a moral issue (similar to vegans versus omnivores), or something so kinky that it it should only involve consenting adults in private. 

But there are apparently people who are so vocal and opinionated about anyone else doing something *different* than their own experience that it rapidly becomes impossible to continue a calm, rational conversation on the subject.

Sometimes it amazes me what subjects those are - I mean, politics & religion were traditionally subjects to be avoided because of the potential for controversy...........but there are a whole host of other subjects that have come up here that have been at least that polarizing.

Which is why the Jane Goodall Observation of Primates techniques on handling things have become a catch phrase here as well.............



Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: Midnight Kitty on September 01, 2009, 07:36:47 PM
Which is why the Jane Goodall Observation of Primates techniques on handling things have become a catch phrase here as well.............

Please don't leave me hanging, VorFemme.  What is the catch phrase?

And a big mahalo for understanding that I wasn't trying to illustrate why these are "hot topics," but why I wish that an etiquette board could discuss anything civilly.  What can I say?  I have a very active fantasy life:  It involves considerate, intellegent, tolerant people who can discuss the proper etiquette for any and every situation, nothing kinky >:D
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: VorFemme on September 01, 2009, 07:50:58 PM
The catch phrase is any variation of "Jane Goodall" with instructions to observe the primates' behavior without interacting with them (whether the primate is a relative, neighbor, or someone behaving oddly in the line at the cash register). 

Of course, those observing primate behavior are free to publish their observations here on the Etiquette Hell forum or on the main site.  Because we really want to understand these oddly behaving primates.............

Even if we still don't understand Dresser Queen, K'nnihave, Stonecold, or some of the other more famous infamous of those whose exploits unusual behaviors are recorded here............the hellions continue to study the records and hypothesize as to what is going on inside the brains of those we have observed ourselves or read here.

Many chocolate bunnies have been sacrificed so that we could read their entrails (or at least read the label on the Kahlua bottle) in our attempts at understanding.

There are those who insist that if you drink a Bunny FooFoo or six, it might be easier to understand some of them - but you'd never be able to esplain* it to those of us who are still sober.  (Desi Arnez in I Love Lucy reference  - deliberate, not a typo).  Snarky and Evil go so far as to hold up score cards for the better puns in people's entries here.  But they LIKE puns.............
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: VorFemme on September 01, 2009, 07:58:22 PM
I just ran a search on knitting - 24 pages?????

Sheesh

Snarky and Evil want to run another search for knitting bags as a way to keep various items handy (chocolate, a book, scissors, a stunner or blaster...........) in a wide range of locales.  But that is because they tend to carry a work bag quite often - knitting, cross stitch, or a bag of books when going back & forth to the library........
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: jillybean on September 01, 2009, 09:52:16 PM
Ok, the list is fairly up-to-date.

Thanks for taking this on, Dotty.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: mddg4 on September 09, 2009, 09:13:52 PM
I got lost!!

Did anyone mention cellphones. I avoid those threads as they make ME want to cry and I'm not a mod!

Thanks Dotty!!
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: Lisbeth on September 09, 2009, 09:17:23 PM
I got lost!!

Did anyone mention cellphones. I avoid those threads as they make ME want to cry and I'm not a mod!

Thanks Dotty!!

They've been mentioned.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: kingsrings on September 15, 2009, 12:00:30 PM
The topic of whether it’s okay to consume food in grocery stores while shopping and then pay for it when at the check out counter. This has been a heated topic before on here in the past, not just recently.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: Venus193 on September 15, 2009, 12:18:29 PM
How about TV football at holiday celebrations and weddings?
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: kingsrings on September 15, 2009, 12:24:21 PM
Seriously?? Is that a recent hot topic?
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: Aeris on September 15, 2009, 12:37:13 PM
Seriously?? Is that a recent hot topic?

Check the Holidays folder.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: Scritzy on September 15, 2009, 12:41:11 PM
*snort*

My sister had a football game playing on TV during her second wedding. She turned down the volume for the ceremony. After the pronouncement, she turned the volume up again. Because her FIL just had to see that game ...
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: gollymolly2 on September 15, 2009, 12:42:31 PM
There is such a marked difference between hot topics and overly heated topics that i think is being ignored here. It's not a bad thing to have a topic go on for 10+ pages and spark multiple spin offs. If anything, that means that somebody has brought up a topic that people actually want to talk about.

On the flip side, there are a very small number of threads (such as "i'm in america and i'm going to have an open bar but these are my justifications....") that rarely go well, that don't need to be had because it's almost "settled law" on this site that the action is rude, and any newbie who asks that question might make other suspicious that the newbie is just trying to troll up some drama.

It's this latter set of topics that we should *maybe* warn newbies about. But it seems crazy to have a list of topics fourteen pages long when those topics could also just as easily be classified as "interesting topics" or "topics where there is no sense of agreement yet."
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: O'Dell on September 15, 2009, 12:57:35 PM
I'm a relative newbie here, but from what I've read here so far it looks like *any* topic is potentially a hot topic.  :o

And that shocked emoticon is serious too. There have definitely been some threads and even individual replies that I've been surprised to see kept around. There is at least one post I saw that I regret not reporting to a mod. I have no idea if the mod would have agreed with me, but I know I would have felt better about walking away from the thread.

I know some of the controversies are brought on by the fact that it's the internet. I think we all know well enough how and why statements can be misread or not articulate etc. and how things can get out of hand, but I admit that I was caught off guard by the fact that it's all taking place in a forum dedicated to etiquette. It's taken me some time to start adapting my other "message board" coping skills to ehell so that I can avoid the unofficial hot topics.

Eh...I guess this was just an expression of my mild disappointment at the idea there are hot topics on ehell and nothing constructive.  :-\
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: DottyG on September 15, 2009, 01:02:25 PM
There is such a marked difference between hot topics and overly heated topics that i think is being ignored here. It's not a bad thing to have a topic go on for 10+ pages and spark multiple spin offs. If anything, that means that somebody has brought up a topic that people actually want to talk about.

On the flip side, there are a very small number of threads (such as "i'm in america and i'm going to have an open bar but these are my justifications....") that rarely go well, that don't need to be had because it's almost "settled law" on this site that the action is rude, and any newbie who asks that question might make other suspicious that the newbie is just trying to troll up some drama.

It's this latter set of topics that we should *maybe* warn newbies about. But it seems crazy to have a list of topics fourteen pages long when those topics could also just as easily be classified as "interesting topics" or "topics where there is no sense of agreement yet."

That's been my position as well.

Which is why the initial list in the thread is more limited than what's been mentioned in the thread itself.

If there's a topic that I need to add to the initial post, please let me know.  But, conversely, if there's one in that list that's actually not a "heated" topic but just a "hot" one that been interesting to discuss, I can remove it.*  The list is fluid.  I need input as to what we feel are the top truly "heated" topics around here.

*  When I redid the list a couple of weeks ago, I actually did take out a few things that aren't really "hot" after all.  I can do that again, if necessary.

Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: Lisbeth on February 03, 2010, 05:08:17 PM
Hi Dottyg,

You might want to add "gifts to children" in the OP of this thread.  I notice that it's getting very controversial.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: Slartibartfast on February 03, 2010, 06:43:01 PM
One I didn't see mentioned in the last several pages - but the topics of keeping outdoor-only dogs and of not spaying/neutering family pets.  I know there have been at least a few threads that have been locked, but a lot more have devolved into a very ugly shade of "I think people who do XYZ are cruel, evil people and should have their pets taken away" - when there are posters who have very clearly stated that they do XYZ further upthread.  I think this is one of those topics where some people feel "getting the word out" about why XYZ is wrong is more important than sparing the feelings of other posters sometimes  :-\
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: Scuba_Dog on February 03, 2010, 07:02:58 PM
"I think people who do XYZ are cruel, evil people and should have their pets taken away" - when there are posters who have very clearly stated that they do XYZ further upthread. 

Actually, I notice this (the above quoted) happening in many threads with varied topics.  I just try to tell myself that the person must not have read the thread, because if they did, surely they wouldn't say those things about their fellow posters. 
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: L.A. Lady on June 30, 2010, 03:10:16 PM
Is it possible to add any topics seeking advice on rudeness or other issues that take place in medical clinics or hospitals?
The ones that have been discussed in the past always seem to be locked after a few pages because the posts go into either medical issue territory or legal advice territory.
I'm not saying that there aren't some legitimate questions that are asked in these threads, but most of them end up talking about HIPPA or medical issues.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: DottyG on June 30, 2010, 03:19:04 PM
any topics seeking advice on rudeness

Give me an example of this one, so I know how to phrase it.

Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: Scuba_Dog on June 30, 2010, 03:22:42 PM
I wonder if that fits more into the basic rules of the forum though?

It's not a Hot Topic but an outright rule-breaker to offer that kind of advice/commentary here.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: Aeris on June 30, 2010, 03:24:20 PM
I wonder if that fits more into the basic rules of the forum though?

It's not a Hot Topic but an outright rule-breaker to offer that kind of advice/commentary here.

I think what happens a lot is that people ask for advice about an actual etiquette situation, but it's taking place IN a hospital/clinic/etc, so it ends up pulling in those details, and then as discussion continues, bam, we have a medical/legal discussion.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: DottyG on June 30, 2010, 03:27:30 PM
I wonder if that fits more into the basic rules of the forum though?

It's not a Hot Topic but an outright rule-breaker to offer that kind of advice/commentary here.

I think what happens a lot is that people ask for advice about an actual etiquette situation, but it's taking place IN a hospital/clinic/etc, so it ends up pulling in those details, and then as discussion continues, bam, we have a medical/legal discussion.

Could this be avoided (or helped in any way) if we older-timers put in a gentle warning early in the thread to make sure we stay on topic and don't drift?  Maybe if we guided the thread (and, I mean VERY GENTLY) a bit, we might be able to keep the locking from happening?

Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: Aeris on June 30, 2010, 03:29:46 PM
I wonder if that fits more into the basic rules of the forum though?

It's not a Hot Topic but an outright rule-breaker to offer that kind of advice/commentary here.

I think what happens a lot is that people ask for advice about an actual etiquette situation, but it's taking place IN a hospital/clinic/etc, so it ends up pulling in those details, and then as discussion continues, bam, we have a medical/legal discussion.

Could this be avoided (or helped in any way) if we older-timers put in a gentle warning early in the thread to make sure we stay on topic and don't drift?  Maybe if we guided the thread (and, I mean VERY GENTLY) a bit, we might be able to keep the locking from happening?

It's a good idea, but I've seen a few threads where the gentle, and sometimes not so gentle, warning just don't land. Not sure if there's really a surefire way to avoid it.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: Scuba_Dog on June 30, 2010, 03:33:04 PM
I wonder if that fits more into the basic rules of the forum though?

It's not a Hot Topic but an outright rule-breaker to offer that kind of advice/commentary here.

I think what happens a lot is that people ask for advice about an actual etiquette situation, but it's taking place IN a hospital/clinic/etc, so it ends up pulling in those details, and then as discussion continues, bam, we have a medical/legal discussion.

Yeah, I suppose it's one of those topics that might be difficult to address w/out including those things.  Although, I think if we focus *solely* on etiquette, it can be done.  

Sometimes I think the etiquette issue is a very simple one but for the sake of discussion, and sometimes debate, the thread moves into a medical or legal discussion once the question has been answered.  

I do think that members here are *really* good at keeping it in check though, with posts reminding others to refrain.

Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: secretrebel on October 06, 2010, 01:06:34 PM
Does reading gift books before giving them now count as a hot topic?

http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=84552.0
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: DottyG on October 06, 2010, 02:04:02 PM
If we listed every topic that was closed, we'd 1) have a huge list and 2) never be able to talk about anything here!

The list is more for the "ultrasuperdupermajor topics" that have proven more than once to get out of control.  Or, have polarized the site so much that trying to start another thread on it is a disaster in the making from the very beginning.  For instance, we don't need to rehash "shoes on or off before entering a home" yet again.  Anyone that wants to play with that can of worms can do a search and see all the necessary viewpoints on it!

See the difference?

Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: jimithing on October 06, 2010, 02:43:45 PM
If we listed every topic that was closed, we'd 1) have a huge list and 2) never be able to talk about anything here!

The list is more for the "ultrasuperdupermajor topics" that have proven more than once to get out of control.  Or, have polarized the site so much that trying to start another thread on it is a disaster in the making from the very beginning.  For instance, we don't need to rehash "shoes on or off before entering a home" yet again.  Anyone that wants to play with that can of worms can do a search and see all the necessary viewpoints on it!

See the difference?



From reading the books thread, I would say that would fall under a Hot Topic.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: SiotehCat on October 06, 2010, 02:44:26 PM
If we listed every topic that was closed, we'd 1) have a huge list and 2) never be able to talk about anything here!

The list is more for the "ultrasuperdupermajor topics" that have proven more than once to get out of control.  Or, have polarized the site so much that trying to start another thread on it is a disaster in the making from the very beginning.  For instance, we don't need to rehash "shoes on or off before entering a home" yet again.  Anyone that wants to play with that can of worms can do a search and see all the necessary viewpoints on it!

See the difference?



From reading the books thread, I would say that would fall under a Hot Topic.

I would agree. I didnt participate in the thread, but I did read it.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: JoieGirl7 on October 06, 2010, 03:25:09 PM
If we listed every topic that was closed, we'd 1) have a huge list and 2) never be able to talk about anything here!

The list is more for the "ultrasuperdupermajor topics" that have proven more than once to get out of control.  Or, have polarized the site so much that trying to start another thread on it is a disaster in the making from the very beginning.  For instance, we don't need to rehash "shoes on or off before entering a home" yet again.  Anyone that wants to play with that can of worms can do a search and see all the necessary viewpoints on it!

See the difference?



From reading the books thread, I would say that would fall under a Hot Topic.

I would agree. I didnt participate in the thread, but I did read it.

I agree.  The fact that it grew so large so fast and ended up getting locked pretty much qualifies it in my book!  I don't think I've seen a thread grow that quickly in a while.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: jimithing on October 06, 2010, 03:28:07 PM
If we listed every topic that was closed, we'd 1) have a huge list and 2) never be able to talk about anything here!

The list is more for the "ultrasuperdupermajor topics" that have proven more than once to get out of control.  Or, have polarized the site so much that trying to start another thread on it is a disaster in the making from the very beginning.  For instance, we don't need to rehash "shoes on or off before entering a home" yet again.  Anyone that wants to play with that can of worms can do a search and see all the necessary viewpoints on it!

See the difference?



From reading the books thread, I would say that would fall under a Hot Topic.

I would agree. I didnt participate in the thread, but I did read it.

I agree.  The fact that it grew so large so fast and ended up getting locked pretty much qualifies it in my book!  I don't think I've seen a thread grow that quickly in a while.

There was also a very large divide, so I think that added to it. I would say in most threads, there's a general consensus, even if there is a long discussion. But that one was clearly divided.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: secretrebel on October 08, 2010, 09:00:24 AM
If we listed every topic that was closed, we'd 1) have a huge list and 2) never be able to talk about anything here!

The list is more for the "ultrasuperdupermajor topics" that have proven more than once to get out of control.  Or, have polarized the site so much that trying to start another thread on it is a disaster in the making from the very beginning.  For instance, we don't need to rehash "shoes on or off before entering a home" yet again.  Anyone that wants to play with that can of worms can do a search and see all the necessary viewpoints on it!

See the difference?

Difference? Sorry I'm not clear on what you mean. The difference between a locked topic and a 'ultrasuperdupermajor' topic?

I've not suggested a topic for inclusion in this list before and I've seen lots of locked threads. I thought the gift books thread counted as a serious community division like shoes on vs shoes off and therefore was a 'hot' topic.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: Scuba_Dog on October 08, 2010, 09:11:38 AM
When I think of a Hot Topic, I think of something that comes up over and over again, not only in life but on the board.  It's something that if you do a search, you will find multiple threads about it.

I don't consider reading books before gifting them to be a Hot Topic because I doubt it will come up again and if so, it won't be very often.  Was it a contentious topic?  Yes.  But, lots of threads here are, that doesn't make them "Hot" IMO.

I thought Dotty's explanation was perfect.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: Lisbeth on October 08, 2010, 09:51:56 AM
A locked topic is simply one particular thread where the moderators have decided to close it, either because the subject is not etiquette-related (say on domestic abuse) or because two or more posters have exchanged words, shall we say, and the tone has gotten really aggressive and hostile.  If it's locked, then the moderators have decided that no one else can post in the thread or respond to existing posts.

An "ultrasuperdupermajor topic", on the other hand, is one that can be discussed, but that has been discussed in depth in the past and has led to a number of locked threads due to aggression and hostility breaking out between posters, often because the subject is a very controversial one (although you never know what's controversial, as such things as guests wearing shoes in the house and returning shopping carts to the front of a store upon departure have led to such actions! ;) )
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: MaggieB on October 08, 2010, 10:49:23 AM
I agree with Dottyg (and others.)  The Hot Topics list is meant to be a relatively permanent addition to this site.  Some topics have been discussed so many times that there is just nothing more to say and no new way to ask a related question.  The topic has been presented every way you could think of and with every caveat or qualifier until it makes us groan. 

But we've had one thread about reading books before giving them as gifts.  Sure, we don't need to discuss it again this week.  And yes, that thread would be a good starting point for people who had a question.  But as time goes on and the forum evolves and new members cycle in, it might be reasonable to ask a similar question at some point down the road. 
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: jimithing on October 08, 2010, 07:15:29 PM
Actuallly, we've had a few threads about the book reading before giving it as a gift. But it's been a long time and I don't think it was as contentious the others times around.

I still maintain that I would consider it a Hot Topic. This thread isn't entitled "Ultrasuperdupermajor Topic That Can Never Be Discussed Again."

I suspect that if a new poster posted about this subject in, say, 6 months, a few posters would point out that it was recently discussed and was rather contentious, and warn them. I consider those kinds of things hot topics.

And in fact, the first line in Dotty's OP on this thread says, "topics that are either 1) possibly contentious OR 2) done to death by now." This definitely qualifies as contentious.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: jillybean on October 08, 2010, 10:16:34 PM
Hot topics might end up on the hot topic list  ;)
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: jimithing on October 08, 2010, 10:18:24 PM
Hot topics might end up on the hot topic list  ;)

Haha. Love it.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: kareng57 on October 08, 2010, 10:39:25 PM
A locked topic is simply one particular thread where the moderators have decided to close it, either because the subject is not etiquette-related (say on domestic abuse) or because two or more posters have exchanged words, shall we say, and the tone has gotten really aggressive and hostile.  If it's locked, then the moderators have decided that no one else can post in the thread or respond to existing posts.

An "ultrasuperdupermajor topic", on the other hand, is one that can be discussed, but that has been discussed in depth in the past and has led to a number of locked threads due to aggression and hostility breaking out between posters, often because the subject is a very controversial one (although you never know what's controversial, as such things as guests wearing shoes in the house and returning shopping carts to the front of a store upon departure have led to such actions! ;) )


Re moderators locking threads - I don't think it's necessarily because posters have become nasty with each other. I think that sometimes it's simply because posters have been going around in circles about the topic for several days, many believe X while others believe Y, and there is obviously going to be no consensus.  Plus, often there's no established etiquette advice on the issue - or, if there is, the etiquette-mavens are just as divided on the topic.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: Aeris on October 08, 2010, 10:56:12 PM
Hot topics might end up on the hot topic list  ;)

Haha. Love it.

ROFL. How meta.  ;D
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: Lisbeth on October 09, 2010, 12:01:51 PM
A locked topic is simply one particular thread where the moderators have decided to close it, either because the subject is not etiquette-related (say on domestic abuse) or because two or more posters have exchanged words, shall we say, and the tone has gotten really aggressive and hostile.  If it's locked, then the moderators have decided that no one else can post in the thread or respond to existing posts.

An "ultrasuperdupermajor topic", on the other hand, is one that can be discussed, but that has been discussed in depth in the past and has led to a number of locked threads due to aggression and hostility breaking out between posters, often because the subject is a very controversial one (although you never know what's controversial, as such things as guests wearing shoes in the house and returning shopping carts to the front of a store upon departure have led to such actions! ;) )


Re moderators locking threads - I don't think it's necessarily because posters have become nasty with each other. I think that sometimes it's simply because posters have been going around in circles about the topic for several days, many believe X while others believe Y, and there is obviously going to be no consensus.  Plus, often there's no established etiquette advice on the issue - or, if there is, the etiquette-mavens are just as divided on the topic.

Usually when arguments get circular, they have gotten heated and sarcastic after going on for many pages and I've noticed that under those circumstances, the moderators do shut them down.  I agree that the moderators often do it because the topics are not etiquette-related as well, such as when the threads become about health-related issues or legal matters.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: jimithing on October 18, 2010, 04:00:32 PM
I didn't see this listed, but it's possible I missed it. Has threads about "The View" been mentioned? Seems like they always get locked.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: cass2591 on October 18, 2010, 04:42:01 PM
The reason most threads about "The View" are closed is because they degenerate into politics. The latest one concerning Whoopi Goldberg and Joy Behar walking out on Bill O'Reilly started out, on the surface anyway, strictly discussing the etiquette of walking out on one's guest. I think that lasted for about 15 posts. Then it devolved into why the hosts the walked out, a topic which is highly controversial and divisive. It was only a matter of time because some posters just can't help themselves, apparently, although they should know better when it comes to this forum.

Now, the cynic in me thinks the OP of that thread, and honestly I couldn't tell you who it was and I don't care, must have known that the it was a very potentially volatile subject. But maybe not, so I'll give her/him the benefit of the doubt.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: jimithing on October 18, 2010, 04:57:43 PM
The reason most threads about "The View" are closed is because they degenerate into politics. The latest one concerning Whoopi Goldberg and Joy Behar walking out on Bill O'Reilly started out, on the surface anyway, strictly discussing the etiquette of walking out on one's guest. I think that lasted for about 15 posts. Then it devolved into why the hosts the walked out, a topic which is highly controversial and divisive. It was only a matter of time because some posters just can't help themselves, apparently, although they should know better when it comes to this forum.

Now, the cynic in me thinks the OP of that thread, and honestly I couldn't tell you who it was and I don't care, must have known that the it was a very potentially volatile subject. But maybe not, so I'll give her/him the benefit of the doubt.

It also seems like there can't be a discussion without mentioning how horrible the hosts are, how none of them have any manners, etc.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: C0mputerGeek on October 18, 2010, 08:51:17 PM
It also seems like there can't be a discussion without mentioning how horrible the hosts are, how none of them have any manners, etc.

Bolding, mine. I actually kind of think that's true.

I remember hearing the story on the news and deciding not to post because I figured there was just too much for potential trouble.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: CherryRipe on November 01, 2010, 11:57:06 AM
Okay, I've just read (well, skimmed) through fifteen pages of posts about what we can't talk about here, and I just have two questions:

1.  DottyG, what's left to talk about?

2.  VorFemme, just how would one go about putting a diaper on a snake?  They don't have legs, so I don't see any way to hold it in place.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: DottyG on November 01, 2010, 12:07:51 PM
Okay, I've just read (well, skimmed) through fifteen pages of posts about what we can't talk about here, and I just have two questions:

1.  DottyG, what's left to talk about?

What's in the thread is not, necessarily, what ended up in the list.  Please review the initial post in this thread.

Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: T'Mar of Vulcan on November 01, 2010, 12:37:37 PM
2.  just how would one go about putting a diaper on a snake?  They don't have legs, so I don't see any way to hold it in place.

Tube sock?  ;D
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: penelope2017 on November 01, 2010, 12:41:49 PM
Okay, I've just read (well, skimmed) through fifteen pages of posts about what we can't talk about here, and I just have two questions:

1.  DottyG, what's left to talk about?

2.  VorFemme, just how would one go about putting a diaper on a snake?  They don't have legs, so I don't see any way to hold it in place.

There are lots of things left to talk about if done in a respectful way. The above question wasn't very polite considering Dotty is trying to do a service to new people here.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: bluebirds on November 01, 2010, 01:35:31 PM
2.  just how would one go about putting a diaper on a snake?  They don't have legs, so I don't see any way to hold it in place.

Tube sock?  ;D

What's that?
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: CherryRipe on November 01, 2010, 02:10:57 PM
Okay, I've just read (well, skimmed) through fifteen pages of posts about what we can't talk about here, and I just have two questions:

1.  DottyG, what's left to talk about?

2.  VorFemme, just how would one go about putting a diaper on a snake?  They don't have legs, so I don't see any way to hold it in place.

There are lots of things left to talk about if done in a respectful way. The above question wasn't very polite considering Dotty is trying to do a service to new people here.

Well, I read through fifteen pages of "don'ts," and I'm still confused.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: Lisbeth on November 01, 2010, 02:13:56 PM
Okay, I've just read (well, skimmed) through fifteen pages of posts about what we can't talk about here, and I just have two questions:

1. DottyG, what's left to talk about?

2.  VorFemme, just how would one go about putting a diaper on a snake?  They don't have legs, so I don't see any way to hold it in place.

There are lots of things left to talk about if done in a respectful way. The above question wasn't very polite considering Dotty is trying to do a service to new people here.

Well, I read through fifteen pages of "don'ts," and I'm still confused.

The OP is a summary of the 15 pages that follow.  Believe it or not, there are still many things that can be posted about.  It is even possible to post about the things listed in the OP-this thread is merely a warning to be careful, as those threads have been known to get very controversial and heated, not to let things get out of hand or keep arguing things that have previously been discussed (in some cases, to death).
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: CherryRipe on November 01, 2010, 02:17:25 PM
Okay, I've just read (well, skimmed) through fifteen pages of posts about what we can't talk about here, and I just have two questions:

1. DottyG, what's left to talk about?

2.  VorFemme, just how would one go about putting a diaper on a snake?  They don't have legs, so I don't see any way to hold it in place.

There are lots of things left to talk about if done in a respectful way. The above question wasn't very polite considering Dotty is trying to do a service to new people here.

Well, I read through fifteen pages of "don'ts," and I'm still confused.

The OP is a summary of the 15 pages that follow.  Believe it or not, there are still many things that can be posted about.  It is even possible to post about the things listed in the OP-this thread is merely a warning to be careful, as those threads have been known to get very controversial and heated, not to let things get out of hand or keep arguing things that have previously been discussed (in some cases, to death).

Oh, okay. 
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: DottyG on November 01, 2010, 02:18:49 PM
Okay, I've just read (well, skimmed) through fifteen pages of posts about what we can't talk about here, and I just have two questions:

1. DottyG, what's left to talk about?

2.  VorFemme, just how would one go about putting a diaper on a snake?  They don't have legs, so I don't see any way to hold it in place.

There are lots of things left to talk about if done in a respectful way. The above question wasn't very polite considering Dotty is trying to do a service to new people here.

Well, I read through fifteen pages of "don'ts," and I'm still confused.

To requote what I already said a couple of pages back:

Quote
The list is more for the "ultrasuperdupermajor topics" that have proven more than once to get out of control.  Or, have polarized the site so much that trying to start another thread on it is a disaster in the making from the very beginning.  For instance, we don't need to rehash "shoes on or off before entering a home" yet again.  Anyone that wants to play with that can of worms can do a search and see all the necessary viewpoints on it!

If you will notice, the list that appears in the OP is not, necessarily, all the things that are listed in the entire thread.  The thread is a gathering of people's ideas in which the most "ultrasuperdupermajor topics" were attempted to be culled and placed into the resulting list in the OP.

Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: Scuba_Dog on November 01, 2010, 02:20:58 PM
Okay, I've just read (well, skimmed) through fifteen pages of posts about what we can't talk about here, and I just have two questions:

1. DottyG, what's left to talk about?

2.  VorFemme, just how would one go about putting a diaper on a snake?  They don't have legs, so I don't see any way to hold it in place.

There are lots of things left to talk about if done in a respectful way. The above question wasn't very polite considering Dotty is trying to do a service to new people here.

Well, I read through fifteen pages of "don'ts," and I'm still confused.

What are you confused about?  

It's a folder that was made as a courtesy for newcomers.  It lets them know that these topics (look at the OP, as DottyG suggested) are "Hot Topics", meaning they have either been done to death or are very contentious.  

It doesn't say you can't post about them, or that you are not allowed to post about them. Although, it might be wise to perform a search and see if you can find your answers in a previous thread about the topic before starting a new one.  That's a general forum rule anyway though.

Also, it would seem that there is still plenty to talk about here, the popularity of the forum is a testament to that.

DottyG went to quite a bit of work to make that list.  Thank you for that, Dotty!

Edited to add:  CR, while you may not have meant it to, I also thought your "question" to Dotty was less than polite.  I'm sure you didn't mean it that way but some clarification would be nice.

Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: Shoo on November 01, 2010, 02:24:25 PM
CherryRipe, the only off-limit topics are listed in the Forum Rules.  Dotty's list is topics we need to be careful with, based on past threads.  It does not mean we can't post about these topics.  It just means there have been problems in the past, so we need to be very very careful.

As for topics being done to death, well, not everyone has been here since the beginning of time, so I think it's okay for others to talk about topics we've discussed before.  Everyone's opinions are useful, not just those who were here and happened to have posted on the subject before. 
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: War_Doc on November 01, 2010, 03:12:03 PM
Cherry, I'm not sure if you are intentionally asking this question or if it is because you don't understand the gist of this thread.  There is nothing forbidden in these 15 pages, it was just to make people aware that these types of topics tend to get out of hand real quickly if left unchecked.

Now, with that said, if you feel a thread, post, e.g. is a problem, then report it to the moderators so they can handle it.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: Skoffin on November 01, 2010, 04:02:20 PM
Knitting? Really? I am so confused and am having trouble finding the story on this. Help? XD
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: CherryRipe on November 01, 2010, 04:13:18 PM
Knitting? Really? I am so confused and am having trouble finding the story on this. Help? XD

Yeah, that's one thing I was confused about too.  Basic manners are one thing, but a whole big list of random topics that can't (or shouldn't) be discussed......that's a bit weird. 
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: MrsO on November 01, 2010, 04:17:22 PM
I've been here four years(ish) and I'll admit to being confused about the knitting one too (although that could be because I'm not into knitting and have never really looked out for topics on the subject.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: DottyG on November 01, 2010, 04:18:34 PM
a whole big list of random topics that can't (or shouldn't) be discussed  

Please reread the responses (including the one from a mod above) that you have received to your posts as to whether topics "can't" or "shouldn't" be discussed.

Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: Scuba_Dog on November 01, 2010, 04:26:40 PM
Knitting? Really? I am so confused and am having trouble finding the story on this. Help? XD

Yeah, that's one thing I was confused about too.  Basic manners are one thing, but a whole big list of random topics that can't (or shouldn't) be discussed......that's a bit weird. 

Is it?  Everyone else seems fine with it. 

It's not a difficult concept really.  Many people have explained (including a MOD) that it's just here as a courtesy and a guideline for newcomers.

Many members have replied to try and help you with your confusion.  You should read the posts.



Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: Animala on November 01, 2010, 04:28:21 PM
If memory serves the knitting one had to do with if it was OK or not to do in social situations.  I will see if I can find something.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: Ferrets on November 01, 2010, 04:34:58 PM
If memory serves the knitting one had to do with if it was OK or not to do in social situations.  I will see if I can find something.

This one? :) - Would it be Rude to Knit? (http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=28307.0)

DottyG, any chance you could confirm whether the above thread is the one you meant by the (rather cryptic) Knitting (just do a search - it's too bizarre to try to explain!) in the OP?
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: DangerMouth on November 01, 2010, 04:48:28 PM
I have a question, or maybe just an issue. I've been posting on a thread and maybe it's a subject that's been done to death. I think it's perfectly OK for someone who's been around longer to give a head's up, but I had one poster tell me more than once that that subject had been discussed before so there was no reason to bring it up again.

We haven't all been here as long as some of you. To the newer members, these subjects might be of current interest. It's really not the same, to tell someone to 'do a search, it's been discussed before'. If I wanted the last word, I'll pull out my Miss Manners', but in general, I'm here for the discussion. It felt really rude and dismissive.

Also, I think there are some issues that are seen as particurly contentious because one thread long ago got way out of hand. But it's not the issue itself, it's because posters on that particular thread forgot their manners. We all have our lines in the sand that aren't a matter of strict etiquette (shoes in the house, for example). It's only when posters decide to fight to death over their opinions that these threads become 'hot topics'.

JMO.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: DottyG on November 01, 2010, 04:56:30 PM
Also, I think there are some issues that are seen as particurly contentious because one thread long ago got way out of hand.

Danger, you have a good point.  The purpose of the list, though, isn't a definitive "DO NOT EVER SPEAK OF THIS ISSUE EVER AGAIN!"  It's merely a "heads up" that the issue DID get contentious before.  For whatever reason (even if that was that people didn't mind their manners), it got heated.  So, a glance at the past thread(s) related to that issue may provide some guidelines to (the generic) you if you do wish to bring up the subject again.  It's a way of knowing that, for whatever reason, you could be stepping into the quicksand and not realize it.  So, just tread a little lightly and carefully.

That said, there really are some topics that, while not verboten here, really are ones that are SO likely to become heated that it might be best to really, really think hard about starting another thread on them.  Not to say that you can't do so.  But, if a newbie comes in and posts a "Hey everyone!  What do you think about telling my guests that they must take off their shoes and start breastfeeding before pushing their shopping carts into my home?!", you can probably hear the audible groan across the world!

Everyone, please see War_Doc's post above.  It really is a good post.

Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: ydpubs on November 01, 2010, 04:58:45 PM
2.  just how would one go about putting a diaper on a snake?  They don't have legs, so I don't see any way to hold it in place.

Tube sock?  ;D

OK T'Mar, that made me LOL.  ;D
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: DottyG on November 01, 2010, 04:59:51 PM
2.  just how would one go about putting a diaper on a snake?  They don't have legs, so I don't see any way to hold it in place.

Tube sock?  ;D

OK T'Mar, that made me LOL.  ;D

I was so caught up in trying to explain the reason for the list that I missed T'Mar's response.  That made me laugh as well! :D

Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: DangerMouth on November 01, 2010, 05:06:00 PM
2.  just how would one go about putting a diaper on a snake?  They don't have legs, so I don't see any way to hold it in place.

Tube sock?  ;D

OK T'Mar, that made me LOL.  ;D

I was so caught up in trying to explain the reason for the list that I missed T'Mar's response.  That made me laugh as well! :D


I'll never look at tube socks the same way again :D
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: Animala on November 01, 2010, 05:07:10 PM
2.  just how would one go about putting a diaper on a snake?  They don't have legs, so I don't see any way to hold it in place.

Tube sock?  ;D

What's that?

It is a long, usually knee length, athletic sock.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: DottyG on November 01, 2010, 05:09:37 PM
Tube socks (http://www.shoebuy.com/tube-socks.htm)

Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: CherryRipe on November 01, 2010, 05:11:25 PM
If memory serves the knitting one had to do with if it was OK or not to do in social situations.  I will see if I can find something.

This one? :) - Would it be Rude to Knit? (http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=28307.0)

DottyG, any chance you could confirm whether the above thread is the one you meant by the (rather cryptic) Knitting (just do a search - it's too bizarre to try to explain!) in the OP?

Well, that's a no-brainer--the issue here isn't knitting, per se, it's doing supposedly unobtrusive activities that MIGHT have the potential to be disruptive, in an environment where people are expected to pay attention.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: ydpubs on November 01, 2010, 05:13:58 PM
2.  just how would one go about putting a diaper on a snake?  They don't have legs, so I don't see any way to hold it in place.

Tube sock?  ;D

OK T'Mar, that made me LOL.  ;D

I was so caught up in trying to explain the reason for the list that I missed T'Mar's response.  That made me laugh as well! :D


I'll never look at tube socks the same way again :D

Now I'm thinking of a little garter belt for the snake to hold the sock up. HAHAH!!
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: DangerMouth on November 01, 2010, 05:14:17 PM
If memory serves the knitting one had to do with if it was OK or not to do in social situations.  I will see if I can find something.

This one? :) - Would it be Rude to Knit? (http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=28307.0)

DottyG, any chance you could confirm whether the above thread is the one you meant by the (rather cryptic) Knitting (just do a search - it's too bizarre to try to explain!) in the OP?

Well, that's a no-brainer--the issue here isn't knitting, per se, it's doing supposedly unobtrusive activities that MIGHT have the potential to be disruptive, in an environment where people are expected to pay attention.

But fortunately, that's not the issue under discussion in this thread :)
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: Brentwood on November 01, 2010, 07:43:52 PM
2.  just how would one go about putting a diaper on a snake?  They don't have legs, so I don't see any way to hold it in place.

Tube sock?  ;D

OK T'Mar, that made me LOL.  ;D

I was so caught up in trying to explain the reason for the list that I missed T'Mar's response.  That made me laugh as well! :D


I'll never look at tube socks the same way again :D

Now I'm thinking of a little garter belt for the snake to hold the sock up. HAHAH!!

That will make me look at garter snakes in a whole new way.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: VorFemme on November 05, 2010, 10:10:00 PM
Okay, I've just read (well, skimmed) through fifteen pages of posts about what we can't talk about here, and I just have two questions:

1.  DottyG, what's left to talk about?

2.  VorFemme, just how would one go about putting a diaper on a snake?  They don't have legs, so I don't see any way to hold it in place.

I think that there are stretch bandages that stick to themselves that MIGHT be used to hold an absorbent pad of some kind over the orifice on a snake - but it would most likely be easier to disinfect the table thoroughly after the snake touched it.  Salmonella bacteria on a snake's skin is not limited to any one area, as I understand it.  You  might have to bathe the snake in disinfectant.........possibly clean its mouth with mouthwash & a couple of other areas as well.

Not that I've ever tried to raise a snake in a sterile environment - although I've watched my mother care for lambs being raised in a sterile environment.............

As for knitting - the idea behind this is "is it rude for me to knit HERE?"  (for a reason such as it helps me relax & retain information better or some such reasoning) in a location where knitting might distract others (say a church service, a class, or some such location not usually associated with knitting).

There might also be joking (half-joking) references to carrying a knitting bag as a place of concealment for other items (Evil VorFemme carries a blaster, Snarky carries a stunner, I carry my ereader, and possibly a couple of small chocolates).  Of course, Snarky and Evil have access to a pocket universe where their knitting bags also have chocolate bunnies, cold milk, Kahlua (and a few other liquors that mix well with chocolate & milk in case they need a Bunny FooFoo), a nail file, and as many other items as might prove handy to pull out in an emergency.............etiquette or otherwise.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: Delia DeLyons on November 17, 2010, 07:24:07 AM
     Reccommend adding "Childproofing a House" as it has become a hot topic that resulted in getting locked more than once here.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: Scuba_Dog on November 17, 2010, 08:19:16 AM
     Reccommend adding "Childproofing a House" as it has become a hot topic that resulted in getting locked more than once here.

Wow, more than once?  I only know of the one.  I tried a search and can't find any other ones (I'm not great at the searching though!)
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: DangerMouth on November 17, 2010, 09:48:13 AM
     Reccommend adding "Childproofing a House" as it has become a hot topic that resulted in getting locked more than once here.

Wow, more than once?  I only know of the one.  I tried a search and can't find any other ones (I'm not great at the searching though!)

I'd been following that thread and I honestly don't see that anyone forgot their manners there (unless there were posts removed that I didn't get a chance to see). Perhaps a mod felt it was just going around in circles after a week and 19 pages, but I thought posters were pretty much uniformly polite and stated their opinions without heat or rancor.

Any thread about children seems to have the potential to become particularly contentious, but I'm just not seeing that in the childproofing thread.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: Scuba_Dog on November 17, 2010, 10:34:04 AM
     Reccommend adding "Childproofing a House" as it has become a hot topic that resulted in getting locked more than once here.

Wow, more than once?  I only know of the one.  I tried a search and can't find any other ones (I'm not great at the searching though!)

I'd been following that thread and I honestly don't see that anyone forgot their manners there (unless there were posts removed that I didn't get a chance to see). Perhaps a mod felt it was just going around in circles after a week and 19 pages, but I thought posters were pretty much uniformly polite and stated their opinions without heat or rancor.

Any thread about children seems to have the potential to become particularly contentious, but I'm just not seeing that in the childproofing thread.

I didn't either.  I think you hit the nail on the head about it going in circles.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: Delia DeLyons on November 17, 2010, 02:46:10 PM
     It was deifnitely at least the second time it came up.. I'll see if I can find the other time...  

ETA:  Found it:  http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=81689.msg1941196#msg1941196 (http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=81689.msg1941196#msg1941196)

Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: gollymolly2 on November 17, 2010, 03:32:56 PM
My personal rule of thumb for when a topic is not worth participating in:
If half of the posters feel strongly that X, and take it kind of personally that others believe NOT X,
and half of the posters feel strongly that Y, and take it kind of personally that others believe NOT Y,
then it's really not a productive conversation to continue having.

I sort of feel this way about throwing your own birthday party threads, to give an example.  Some people think it's the height of classlessness.  Others think that it's completely normal.  These threads can often get a little personal (comments like "Why would an adult feel the need to have a birthday party?") So what's the point in having an ongoing discussion?  I could see posting once and saying your piece.  But commenting over and over isn't going to change anybody's mind, so why bother. 

So for the majority of the threads mentioned here - including the childproofing threads - I don't find them to be no longer worthy of discussion.  I think some threads get kind of circular, or sometimes particular posters become a little too attached, but that doesn't mean we can't try again later.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: Delia DeLyons on November 17, 2010, 03:58:53 PM
     ITA with you gollymolly2, about everything you said.  And I like your phrasing (Clear, concise)  and you describe viewpoints that I share myself.

     For the record, I don't see this list as a "DO NOT POST ABOUT THIS EVER" list, just a heads up to new members about what can possibly happen if they decide to rehash a listed topic.  Of course, they are still free to so, regardless.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: DottyG on November 17, 2010, 04:03:08 PM
     ITA with you gollymolly2, about everything you said.  And I like your phrasing (Clear, concise)  and you describe viewpoints that I share myself.

     For the record, I don't see this list as a "DO NOT POST ABOUT THIS EVER" list, just a heads up to new members about what can possibly happen if they decide to rehash a listed topic.  Of course, they are still free to so, regardless.

Which is EXACTLY what I, as the OP of this thread, and others have already stated several times now. Here's one of my latest posts on this very subject:

Quote
The purpose of the list, though, isn't a definitive "DO NOT EVER SPEAK OF THIS ISSUE EVER AGAIN!"  It's merely a "heads up" that the issue DID get contentious before.  For whatever reason (even if that was that people didn't mind their manners), it got heated.  So, a glance at the past thread(s) related to that issue may provide some guidelines to (the generic) you if you do wish to bring up the subject again.  It's a way of knowing that, for whatever reason, you could be stepping into the quicksand and not realize it.  So, just tread a little lightly and carefully.

That said, there really are some topics that, while not verboten here, really are ones that are SO likely to become heated that it might be best to really, really think hard about starting another thread on them.  Not to say that you can't do so.  But, if a newbie comes in and posts a "Hey everyone!  What do you think about telling my guests that they must take off their shoes and start breastfeeding before pushing their shopping carts into my home?!", you can probably hear the audible groan across the world!

Everyone, please see War_Doc's post above.  It really is a good post.

Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: DangerMouth on November 19, 2010, 01:50:38 PM
My personal rule of thumb for when a topic is not worth participating in:
If half of the posters feel strongly that X, and take it kind of personally that others believe NOT X,
and half of the posters feel strongly that Y, and take it kind of personally that others believe NOT Y,
then it's really not a productive conversation to continue having.

I sort of feel this way about throwing your own birthday party threads, to give an example.  Some people think it's the height of classlessness.  Others think that it's completely normal.  These threads can often get a little personal (comments like "Why would an adult feel the need to have a birthday party?") So what's the point in having an ongoing discussion?  I could see posting once and saying your piece.  But commenting over and over isn't going to change anybody's mind, so why bother. 

So for the majority of the threads mentioned here - including the childproofing threads - I don't find them to be no longer worthy of discussion.  I think some threads get kind of circular, or sometimes particular posters become a little too attached, but that doesn't mean we can't try again later.

That kind of attitude can pop up all over. I know the open bar/pay for drinks at weddings can get get contentious, it doesn't help to have people saying "Well, you don't need to drink to have a good time" ::)
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: heathert on June 19, 2011, 06:12:28 PM
I have a question.  If you do have a legitimate question you want some input but it is on a hot topic, that means we can't discuss it? I know if you want to add something to an unlocked thread, that's allowable, but I'm not clear if this thread is just to warn us that these discussions tend to go south quickly or if it means it is not to be discussed period?
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: Brentwood on June 19, 2011, 06:23:57 PM
I have a question.  If you do have a legitimate question you want some input but it is on a hot topic, that means we can't discuss it? I know if you want to add something to an unlocked thread, that's allowable, but I'm not clear if this thread is just to warn us that these discussions tend to go south quickly or if it means it is not to be discussed period?

These are not verboten topics, so yes, they can still be discussed.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: DottyG on June 19, 2011, 07:01:27 PM
I have a question.  If you do have a legitimate question you want some input but it is on a hot topic, that means we can't discuss it? I know if you want to add something to an unlocked thread, that's allowable, but I'm not clear if this thread is just to warn us that these discussions tend to go south quickly or if it means it is not to be discussed period?

I've posted this several times now. I really cannot think of a more clear way to say this.

Quote
The purpose of the list, though, isn't a definitive "DO NOT EVER SPEAK OF THIS ISSUE EVER AGAIN!"  It's merely a "heads up" that the issue DID get contentious before.  For whatever reason (even if that was that people didn't mind their manners), it got heated.  So, a glance at the past thread(s) related to that issue may provide some guidelines to (the generic) you if you do wish to bring up the subject again.  It's a way of knowing that, for whatever reason, you could be stepping into the quicksand and not realize it.  So, just tread a little lightly and carefully.

That said, there really are some topics that, while not verboten here, really are ones that are SO likely to become heated that it might be best to really, really think hard about starting another thread on them.  Not to say that you can't do so.  But, if a newbie comes in and posts a "Hey everyone!  What do you think about telling my guests that they must take off their shoes and start breastfeeding before pushing their shopping carts into my home?!", you can probably hear the audible groan across the world!

Everyone, please see War_Doc's post above.  It really is a good post.

Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: sparksals on June 19, 2011, 07:29:54 PM
Love dotty's descriptor of the contentious topix all at once - LOL!
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: gollymolly2 on June 19, 2011, 07:46:59 PM

I've posted this several times now. I really cannot think of a more clear way to say this.


New hot topic: asking in this thread if there's a ban on posting these topics.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: Lisbeth on June 20, 2011, 11:49:31 AM

I've posted this several times now. I really cannot think of a more clear way to say this.


New hot topic: asking in this thread if there's a ban on posting these topics.

In the spirit in which this was posted, I like this.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: furrcats on June 21, 2011, 04:00:58 AM

I've posted this several times now. I really cannot think of a more clear way to say this.


New hot topic: asking in this thread if there's a ban on posting these topics.

In the spirit in which this was posted, I like this.

Me too
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: Baxter on July 05, 2011, 05:10:07 AM
I think the subject of wearing a man's hat indoors can be added to this list.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: Venus193 on July 05, 2011, 06:53:31 AM
How about the issue of sports on TV at wedding receptions?  That's come up maybe three times but it got heated every time with no final consensus.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: lmyrs on July 20, 2011, 04:28:39 PM
I have a question.  If you do have a legitimate question you want some input but it is on a hot topic, that means we can't discuss it? I know if you want to add something to an unlocked thread, that's allowable, but I'm not clear if this thread is just to warn us that these discussions tend to go south quickly or if it means it is not to be discussed period?

I've posted this several times now. I really cannot think of a more clear way to say this.

Quote
The purpose of the list, though, isn't a definitive "DO NOT EVER SPEAK OF THIS ISSUE EVER AGAIN!"  It's merely a "heads up" that the issue DID get contentious before.  For whatever reason (even if that was that people didn't mind their manners), it got heated.  So, a glance at the past thread(s) related to that issue may provide some guidelines to (the generic) you if you do wish to bring up the subject again.  It's a way of knowing that, for whatever reason, you could be stepping into the quicksand and not realize it.  So, just tread a little lightly and carefully.

That said, there really are some topics that, while not verboten here, really are ones that are SO likely to become heated that it might be best to really, really think hard about starting another thread on them.  Not to say that you can't do so.  But, if a newbie comes in and posts a "Hey everyone!  What do you think about telling my guests that they must take off their shoes and start breastfeeding before pushing their shopping carts into my home?!", you can probably hear the audible groan across the world!

Everyone, please see War_Doc's post above.  It really is a good post.

Dotty, I think the problem is that, while you and others have posted it several times, you posted it several times in amongst 19 pages of other stuff. I would like to respectfully recommend that you post it this clearly in the OP so that new posters don't immediately see a 19 page thread of things that they can't talk about and just turn around and leave. (I know that's not what it is. It's just how it may seem, if you know what I mean.)

Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: DottyG on July 20, 2011, 05:05:52 PM
If that's all it takes, I'm all for it!  'Tis done! :)

Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: oz diva on September 11, 2011, 05:44:10 AM
The list in the OP might be all very well, but I'd assume there have been numerous new members since 2008. We haven't discussed those things to death. If you don't want to weigh in, then don't. Just let us newbies work it all out for ourselves. Should I conduct a search everytime I want to start a thread?
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: MariaE on September 11, 2011, 06:16:17 AM
The list in the OP might be all very well, but I'd assume there have been numerous new members since 2008. We haven't discussed those things to death. If you don't want to weigh in, then don't. Just let us newbies work it all out for ourselves. Should I conduct a search everytime I want to start a thread?

From the OP (bolding mine):
Quote
Note:
The purpose of the list, though, isn't a definitive "DO NOT EVER SPEAK OF THIS ISSUE EVER AGAIN!"  It's merely a "heads up" that the issue DID get contentious before.  For whatever reason (even if that was that people didn't mind their manners), it got heated.  So, a glance at the past thread(s) related to that issue may provide some guidelines to (the generic) you if you do wish to bring up the subject again.  It's a way of knowing that, for whatever reason, you could be stepping into the quicksand and not realize it.  So, just tread a little lightly and carefully.

That said, there really are some topics that, while not verboten here, really are ones that are SO likely to become heated that it might be best to really, really think hard about starting another thread on them.  Not to say that you can't do so.  But, if a newbie comes in and posts a "Hey everyone!  What do you think about telling my guests that they must take off their shoes and start breastfeeding before pushing their shopping carts into my home?!", you can probably hear the audible groan across the world!

Also, please see War_Doc's post in Reply #235.  It really is a good post.
Title: Re: For Our Newbies - HOT TOPICS that you need to be aware of
Post by: afbluebelle on October 13, 2011, 06:56:51 AM
Don't insult the relevancy of Robert Ebert in modern show business. It won't go well  :P