Etiquette Hell

A Civil World. Off-topic discussions on a variety of topics. Guests, register for forum membership to see all the boards. => Humor Me! => Topic started by: geordicat on November 16, 2008, 07:06:56 PM

Title: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: geordicat on November 16, 2008, 07:06:56 PM
What thing have you done thinking it would be a great idea, but actually turned out to be really dumb?

Today I colored my hair.  I've done this many times before with no problems.  I rinse in the sink using that little hose thing and the clean up is very minimal.   I just wipe down the counters.

Well, this time I thought that rinsing my hair while in the shower would be a fabulous idea!  Ya!  I'll just take a shower and rinse it all!  No holding my head upside down in the sink, no water going up my nose, I don't have to wipe off the counters!

uh.. ya, don't do that.

It looked like I slaughtered someone in there.  I had red dye on the walls.  On the shower curtain.  On the ceiling!  I had to clean up far more than I would have had I just done it the normal way. 

On the good side, my hair turned out the pretty red I was going for!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Black Delphinium on November 16, 2008, 07:46:24 PM
Look on the bright side, you got to feel like Janet Leigh for a little bit, and isn't that glamorous?
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: geordicat on November 16, 2008, 07:59:24 PM
:D

WEEE WEEE WEEE WEEE WEEEE!!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: LadyMisha on November 17, 2008, 01:40:55 AM
Ok, just snorted diet Pepsi on this one!   :P

Sad thing is, I've done that before, but with brown hair dye.  Not sure which is worse... having walls that look like blood or like another body function (use your imagination!). 

Either way, ICK!  Heckuva way to learn your lesson, isn't it?   :D
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Shores on November 17, 2008, 01:53:15 AM
I dye my hair bright or dark (depending on the season) red every 3-4 weeks and I always rinse by taking a shower. If you're conscientious about not flipping your head around, you can actually do this with little to no splatter at all. It's made dying my hair worlds easier for me. :)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Outdoor Girl on November 17, 2008, 10:10:39 AM
It looked like I slaughtered someone in there.  I had red dye on the walls.  On the shower curtain.  On the ceiling!  I had to clean up far more than I would have had I just done it the normal way. 

You could always hope that Will Peterson, Gary Sinese or David Caruso would show up to investigate!

I cooked beets the other day.  My kitchen looked like a crime scene.  I was looking over my shoulder for Gil or Mac to show up.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: KCee on November 17, 2008, 01:03:08 PM
I did this a few weeks ago, with "soft black" dye.  It looked like mildew.  :P
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: geordicat on November 17, 2008, 01:51:38 PM
I dye my hair a very vibrant raspberry red.  It looks like a massive head wound when I put it on (and if it stains my head).  Our shower puts Psycho to shame.  *giggles* And I get the joy of having a slight pink hue for a day or so. 

WHere do you get your color?  If I use the grocery store stuff, I can't quite get the shade I want, but it lasts longer than the beauty salon stuff I do at home.

Right now I have a nice deep red bordering on goth red.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Trisha on November 17, 2008, 04:59:10 PM
That's how I rinse my hair, and I don't have that problem. Can you adjust it to not be so close to your head?
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: RedRuby on November 17, 2008, 05:02:15 PM
I decided to mix the batter for a cake with a hand mixer instead of the giant Kitchenaid mixer (that has a cover). The recipe called for lots of powdered sugar.

In just a couple of seconds there was powdered sugar everywhere. My kitchen looked like I'd been dealing cocaine out of it.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: LiveLoveLearn on November 18, 2008, 07:42:32 AM
I decided to mix the batter for a cake with a hand mixer instead of the giant Kitchenaid mixer (that has a cover). The recipe called for lots of powdered sugar.

In just a couple of seconds there was powdered sugar everywhere. My kitchen looked like I'd been dealing cocaine out of it.

I had this happen the last time I was making red velvet cake.  I was mixing it, and one of the kids asked a question, so I turned around to answer - and brought the handheld mixer around with me.  There was red everywhere.

I also managed to dye up my entire guest bath a bloody red while dying my hair last time - I have waist length hair and somehow thought a 4X4 space was the best place to dye it... sigh.

I'm interested in the vibrate raspberry question too - that's the color mine is, but it always fades after a week or two.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: geordicat on November 18, 2008, 11:34:50 AM
Thanks!!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: RedRuby on November 18, 2008, 12:26:28 PM
I decided to mix the batter for a cake with a hand mixer instead of the giant Kitchenaid mixer (that has a cover). The recipe called for lots of powdered sugar.

In just a couple of seconds there was powdered sugar everywhere. My kitchen looked like I'd been dealing cocaine out of it.

I had this happen the last time I was making red velvet cake.  I was mixing it, and one of the kids asked a question, so I turned around to answer - and brought the handheld mixer around with me.  There was red everywhere.

I also managed to dye up my entire guest bath a bloody red while dying my hair last time - I have waist length hair and somehow thought a 4X4 space was the best place to dye it... sigh.

I'm interested in the vibrate raspberry question too - that's the color mine is, but it always fades after a week or two.

Hahaha! Between the two of us we have a drug smuggler & a crime scene :).
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: pierrotlunaire0 on November 19, 2008, 03:57:03 PM
I was making chili, and this particular recipe called for grinding up red pepper in a blender.  When I was done, there was a thick coating of red powder all over the inside of the blender, and in one of my moments of brilliance, I decided to blow it off.  I stuck my mouth and nose into the blender and took a deep puff.  A thick cloud of red pepper enveloped my head, and only a quick shower saved me from a night of burning eyes.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: geordicat on November 19, 2008, 04:00:24 PM
ow!!

I'll learn from that and won't do that if I ever need to grind red pepper in the blender.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Trisha on November 19, 2008, 05:38:11 PM
Well, my mom did this one about 20 years ago, it was so bad, she still tells the story.


We make suckers, well, she's passed the torch, and I do... anyway. Her first batch ever was Cinnamon. I bet this smells great, she said to herself. She added in the flavor, and took a DEEP wiff of the cloud over the pan. BAD IDEA. She just about dropped it, she ended up throwing it into the sink because she hurt herself so bad. It's not just cinnamon that does it, but it was extra bad being a hot flavor. Burned her nose, into her throat, and I would imagine her lungs to. It wasn't a heat burn, but rather a fume burn if that makes sense.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: ginlyn32 on November 19, 2008, 05:51:33 PM
My dad once bought a HUGE pumpkin at the Farmer's Market. Think a 40 pounder.

Anyway, my mom kept saying she was going to use it to make pumpkin filling with and never got around to it. (this was in 1984, before the pie-pumpkins were bred)

My dad decides that HE is going to do it. So he spends the morning cutting up the pumpkin and baking it. He had to borrow a cookbook from the neighbor lady to see how long to bake it. THEN comes the part where he has to puree the pumpkin.

We didn't have a blender or a food processor, so what does my dad use? A hand mixer. Pumpkin EVERYWHERE! On the ceiling, floor, counter, stove, cabnets....

Dad made some pies as well and even spilled some filling in the oven.

He worked second shift and we only owned one car at the time, so when my mom came home from work, Dad walked out the door and says "There's pie in the oven, see you tonight!"

Mom then had to spend the entire afternoon cleaning the kitchen. I think we ended up eating out that night.

This is what has been referred to in my family as THe Pumpkin Massacre!

Oh and about the hair dye? Don't attempt it yourself if you have long hair! I did and missed some spots. With dark red hair dye!

Ginger
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Elle on November 19, 2008, 05:57:48 PM
I had a bunch of dried blood in my hair after my car accident. With my sister's help I showered. I remember lookin at the swirling water and thinking "Huh, it looks like I'm rinsing red dye from my hair."

Just thought I'd throw the reverse in there  ;D
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: nonesuch4 on November 21, 2008, 08:29:46 AM
We are renovating a house.  At times, there is a lot of cardboard around. (I'm not a great housekeeper.) One of those days, I decided to use a utility knife to cut up the cardboard to fit into the recycle container.

I rationalized that the best angle to attack a large piece was to stand, with legs spread, on the cardboard, and cut toward me.  I wouldn't hurt anything underneath the cardboard, because we had just plywood on the floor.  I wouldn't hurt myself, because I knew how to safely cut something with a utility knife.

What I hadn't taken into account was the fact that once the cardboard was in two pieces, my legs would slide into a split.  I'm a little old for that kind of action.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Miss Vertigo on November 21, 2008, 11:40:24 AM
Don't eat half a bag of carrot batons thinking you're snacking healthily, after not eating a vegetable of any kind for what seems like months.

Really, don't do it.

Work up to it.  ;D
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: RedRuby on November 21, 2008, 11:50:32 AM
Hahaha! The cardboard and the carrot stories have me laughing so hard! Thanks for the warning!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Miss Vertigo on November 21, 2008, 11:57:46 AM
Hahaha! The cardboard and the carrot stories have me laughing so hard! Thanks for the warning!

I should tell you then that this also applies to dried apricots, which I did about a year ago.

You'd think I'd have learned from that, but no.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: geordicat on November 21, 2008, 12:41:25 PM
If you're starving and run into the store for a bite to eat, do not, under any circumstances, think you're eating healthy by grabbing a bag of dried fruit and proceeding to eat most of it.

Unless, of course, you stop in the 'paper goods' aisle first.

Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: housewife2k on November 21, 2008, 12:50:33 PM
Do not eat a ridiculous quantity of dehydrated fruit, like apples, and then drink a large quantity of liquid. The apple will rehydrate in your tummy, the feeling of fullness becomes painful, and then you deal with the after effects of eating a ridiculous quantity of apple.

Especially do not do this if you are on a camping trip, and only have an outhouse.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: geordicat on November 21, 2008, 12:58:03 PM
I learn so much here.  Don't stand on cardboard and cut it.  Don't blow crushed red pepper from a blender.  Don't eat lots of dried frut at once.

Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Miss Vertigo on November 21, 2008, 01:31:04 PM
If you're starving and run into the store for a bite to eat, do not, under any circumstances, think you're eating healthy by grabbing a bag of dried fruit and proceeding to eat most of it.

Unless, of course, you stop in the 'paper goods' aisle first.



Yep. That's exactly what I did with the dried apricots. At work. I didn't stay for the afternoon.

*headdesk*
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: KimberlyM on November 21, 2008, 02:14:38 PM
I learned this morning that chasing a carton of Chocolate Milk with a carton of Orange Juice is a bad bad bad plan!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: pierrotlunaire0 on November 21, 2008, 03:04:55 PM
You mean I am not the only one who did the apricot trick?  They tasted so good (like candy!), but I thought I was going to die.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: KCee on November 21, 2008, 05:08:25 PM
Do not eat a ridiculous quantity of dehydrated fruit, like apples, and then drink a large quantity of liquid. The apple will rehydrate in your tummy, the feeling of fullness becomes painful, and then you deal with the after effects of eating a ridiculous quantity of apple.

Especially do not do this if you are on a camping trip, and only have an outhouse.


This is a good thing to know.  I love dried fruit and I'm sure I would have done this sometime.  Thanks! :-)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Bijou on November 23, 2008, 10:43:02 AM
When I was about 14 I helped my best friend paint her bedroom a brilliant fuchia color.  I was covered, clothing and body, in this red paint.  I walked the two blocks home and when my mother saw me she flipped out because, "What if someone saw you walking home like that and thought you'd been in an accident?!!!?!"
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: housewife2k on November 23, 2008, 02:26:10 PM
When I was about 14 I helped my best friend paint her bedroom a brilliant fuchia color.  I was covered, clothing and body, in this red paint.  I walked the two blocks home and when my mother saw me she flipped out because, "What if someone saw you walking home like that and thought you'd been in an accident?!!!?!"
Hopefully, they would help!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: baglady on November 23, 2008, 07:14:36 PM
When Bagman was a young man still living at home, he fell asleep at a party one night (not a drunken pass-out, he was just sleepy), and his friends thought it would be amusing to put makeup on him while he slept. They went a little crazy with the lipstick and it was all over his face.

He woke up and drove home without bothering to wash it off (I'm not sure he was even aware he had it on), but the trip took a long time because there had been an accident, so there were roadblocks, detours, etc.

When he got home, he ran into his mother in the hall, on her way back from a bathroom run. She asks why he's so late getting home, he starts to explain there was an accident ... you can see where this is going, can't you? She hears "accident," sees red stuff all over his face ... poor woman must have aged 10 years in that moment!


Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Mrs. Eclipse on November 26, 2008, 08:53:00 PM
I once had a stroke of genius setting up electronics.

See, I hooked the game system to my little $20 5" b&w TV (Four phrases without a single word!) who, by the way, is named Kyle.  I wanted to sit on my brother's bed and play my game while he played something or other on his big color TV.  But the cord that connected the TV to the wall wasn't keeping the connection- it was a little wonky at the TV end.

Hmm, that won't do, I thought.  So I wiggled it around and waited to see if the TV warmed up.  No, it didn't.  I looked at the cable.  A lot of ridges in the metal part.  Maybe they were gunky?  I licked it, but it irritated my tongue.  I figured it was the ridges.  I licked again, and it was even worse.  I usually use my tongue to clean up little messes (gross, I know, but for some reason I can't stop.)

I finagled a little more, and finally it was all set up and I played a whole level before getting bored.

Then, I figured out that the cord was still plugged into the wall while I was licking it.

Truly, my brilliance that day shall never be matched in this lifetime of mine.  But it did make me think twice before sticking things in my mouth.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: MrsJWine on November 26, 2008, 11:42:04 PM
When I was about 14 I helped my best friend paint her bedroom a brilliant fuchia color.  I was covered, clothing and body, in this red paint.  I walked the two blocks home and when my mother saw me she flipped out because, "What if someone saw you walking home like that and thought you'd been in an accident?!!!?!"

Well, as long as you were wearing clean underwear, she had nothing to worry about.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: veraobsession on November 27, 2008, 04:35:15 AM
I had this type of candy when I was little that you just rolled on your tongue. I was in the bathroom and saw it on the counter, opened it, and rolled it down my tongue.

It was roll on deodorant.

Ever had a totally dry tongue. uuuuuggggghhhhhhh
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: MrsO on November 27, 2008, 07:17:17 AM
It was roll on deodorant.

Ewww! Had it been in someone's armpit??  :-X  ;D

One of my own: Don't practise you hallowe'en make up a week before hallowe'en to show your DH. Then forget to take it off. Then go grocery shopping.

The worst part? My DH gleefully let me leave the house to go to the supermarket, made up like a spooky bat. Grr.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: veraobsession on November 27, 2008, 08:12:48 AM
It was roll on deodorant.

Ewww! Had it been in someone's armpit??  :-X  ;D


I choose not to acknowledge that possibility.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Clara Bow on November 28, 2008, 09:24:07 PM
Along the carrot and apricot vein......
WARNING: This story is GROSS and FUNNY. Put all drinking materials to the side, no food while the flight is in the air, all tray tables in the upright position.
Ready? Here we go.....
We had a customer at the pharmacy who would make huge pots of collard greens and bring them to us at the start of collard season. They were homegrown, they were fabulous and, for those of us who were collard-naive (as in, not raised on them), they are an explosive natural laxative.
And there was only one bathroom in the store.
So we got smart one week that she made them. We were going to take Immodium BEFORE eating the collards.
Oh my lordy, was this the worst idea we ever had.
There is no gas pain on earth like the pain of gas in a slowed-down gut. We were literally writhing in agony by the time the shift ended. Have you ever had to get out of your clothes to save yourself from the bloat only to discover that you SKIN was too tight? Oh yeah.....I was in PAIN. Horrific, deadly AWFUL pain. I was begging to pass a little gas, just a little, just enough to keep from EXPLODING. It was hellish....finally, after about 48 hours of gut busting pain, the Immodium wore off and I was free. After a day I was finally back to normal.
I finally got immune to the collard backfire but I swear I will NEVER use antidiarrheals as a preemptive strike again.
EVER.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: snowfire on November 29, 2008, 02:59:37 AM
It wasn't so much that I thought this was a great idea, but I had done it many times before with no problems.

Many years ago I was making waffles.  I was pouring batter into the waffle iron from a metal measuring cup.  I don't know if the waffle iron had developed a short or what, but I got a honking shock and jerked back, spraying a cup full of batter clear around the kitchen. 

Mom and I cleaned up the mess and went back to cooking breakfast.  We both thought it had been a fluke & wouldn't happen again.

One more cup of batter.  One more electrical shock. More cleaning of kitchen.  One waffle iron in trash can.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: housewife2k on November 29, 2008, 11:32:38 AM
Along the carrot and apricot vein......
WARNING: This story is GROSS and FUNNY. Put all drinking materials to the side, no food while the flight is in the air, all tray tables in the upright position.
Ready? Here we go.....
We had a customer at the pharmacy who would make huge pots of collard greens and bring them to us at the start of collard season. They were homegrown, they were fabulous and, for those of us who were collard-naive (as in, not raised on them), they are an explosive natural laxative.
And there was only one bathroom in the store.
So we got smart one week that she made them. We were going to take Immodium BEFORE eating the collards.
Oh my lordy, was this the worst idea we ever had.
There is no gas pain on earth like the pain of gas in a slowed-down gut. We were literally writhing in agony by the time the shift ended. Have you ever had to get out of your clothes to save yourself from the bloat only to discover that you SKIN was too tight? Oh yeah.....I was in PAIN. Horrific, deadly AWFUL pain. I was begging to pass a little gas, just a little, just enough to keep from EXPLODING. It was hellish....finally, after about 48 hours of gut busting pain, the Immodium wore off and I was free. After a day I was finally back to normal.
I finally got immune to the collard backfire but I swear I will NEVER use antidiarrheals as a preemptive strike again.
EVER.

 ;D
Though it is not right to laugh at your pain, it is fun!  >:D

Seriously, I think part of why this is so funny, and to add a corallary to the "don't do that" list, if you are feeding someone a food that they have not yet had, and you know that it has, im...explosive side effects the first few times you eat it, let them know, so they don't eat a bunch before going on a three hour car ride.

Unfortunately, I did this to Hubby.
I had made a HUGE pot of Collard greens, a big ol' batch of beans, and some corn bread.
I was fully prepared to live off of this, milk, and poundcake for the week he would be out of town with the scout troop he worked with.
He asked what I was making, commented that it smelled good, and asked if he could have some.
I dished him up a big ol' plate.
I realized, about half an hour after he left that he had never had Collard before, or he wouldn't have been asking what it was, that he had, at a minimum, a three hour drive ahead of him, and that he would be camping, for a week.

He was less than thrilled when he called me to let me know he finally arrived. My MIL thought it was the funniest thing EVAH!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Clara Bow on November 29, 2008, 06:15:18 PM
Teehee....I remember getting trapped in the car with hubby, the Human Wind Machine, after a particularly large bowl of Hambeens soup.
I know for a fact that a human being can live breathing only methane for at least three hours.
Did I mention that we were in driving rain the WHOLE TRIP....it was either suffocate or open a window and drown......
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: geordicat on November 29, 2008, 06:19:11 PM
I learned a new one today.

Do not try to inhale through your mouth while at the same time trying to swallow pepperoncini.  Just a really bad idea.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Information_queen on November 29, 2008, 09:16:58 PM
I learned a new one today.

Do not try to inhale through your mouth while at the same time trying to swallow pepperoncini.  Just a really bad idea.

Or hot salsa.  I have no idea how I did it, but I suddenly ended up with a chunk of hot pepper stuck in the back of my throat.  Seeing this, I probably did inhale it.

But, yeah, don't do that.

Also, don't walk backward down steep stairs while holding on to the balcony rail.

I was at my cousin's house when I was little, and the room upstairs was open to the stairs, with just a railing between the room and the stairs.  I, in my five year old infinite wisdom, decided I could just hold on to this railing while I went down the stairs backward.  Yeah, that didn't work too well.  It stayed level while I went down, and eventually, I lost my grip as I stretched too far, and ended up rolling down the stairs.

Not fun.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: wyozozo on November 29, 2008, 09:52:28 PM
DO NOT,  I repeat DO NOT put Bengay or any similar oinment on your body before going to bed and then take a bath in the morning. Just take my word for it, don't do it!!!!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Black Delphinium on November 29, 2008, 09:53:47 PM
Don't floss with minty floss before removing your contacts...no es bueno.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: nekoro on November 30, 2008, 12:43:12 PM
It's called Splat and I get it through Walgreens.  The trick I've learned with it is to add some shampoo to the leftover dye (Side note:  I buy two and have about a half bottle left when I'm done) and use that once or twice a week til I redye again.  You leave it on about five minutes or so.  Ahem...just make sure you add the shampoo (and probably wear gloves) or else it looks like you were killing small animals. 

:)
  I've read the whole thread, and this is bugging me.  How much shampoo?  Do you want it to be mostly dye, or mostly shampoo, or mostly equal?

And my addition, don't store flour and powdered sugar in similar containers.  We had to throw out the pizza dough...
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: dawbs on November 30, 2008, 01:08:20 PM
...

And my addition, don't store flour and powdered sugar in similar containers.  We had to throw out the pizza dough...

On that note, if you invite your kid and his GF (your future daughter in law, me ;-P) over to use your kitchen and you have decided to partially scratch off the label "flour" and put in powdered sugar, don't just  assume anyone would taste it before they added it...Peanut Butter Cookies will have to be thrown out.  Although I must admit the dough was VERY good eating!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: VorFemme on November 30, 2008, 01:53:27 PM
Don't put salt and granulated sugar in matching jars - Dad saw TWO jars of "crystals" and combined them.  The Kool-Aid (a brand of powdered fruit flavored drink mix in the USA) was TERRIBLE................although, thinking back, it tasted a lot like Gatorade (sports beverage with various electrolytes and sugar).  And this was in 1969 or 1970 - the church would have been wealthy now if they'd patented it back then............
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: jstlstrnslb on November 30, 2008, 02:29:34 PM
In a similar vein, storing custard powder and powdered milk that come in near-identical bags next to each other in the same cupboard is a bad idea, particularly when the milk is meant mainly for tea & coffee. Granted, we were on a yacht at the time, so storage space was somewhat limited, but still, I think I was the only one of the 18 people on board who actually enjoyed the custard-flavoured tea...
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: White Dragon on November 30, 2008, 04:07:47 PM
Things my father taught me not to do:

If you have child who a) loathes squash in all it's incarnations and b) is a naturally slow eater...
...it might be a good idea to have a parent supervise...
...it also might be a good idea to cheer her up by playing your guitar...
...and it might be fun to stand on a chair and dance while you play your guitar...

...but it's not a good idea to forget that you are 6'4"...
...and that the kitchen lights have low hanging glass shades...

...because when you bang your head into the glass shade and it shatters all over the table, your darling daughter cannot eat her squash when it has bits of glass in it.
(But I guarantee you she was very happy to get out of eating her squash!)  ;D

Second Lesson from my Father

Using up leftovers is an economical use of resources.

Combining leftovers can result in new and tasty creations.

Some foods...like squash and liver...should never, ever be combined into the same dish.
Trust me, you don't want to try squash stuffed with liver. It's baaaaadddd!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: JadeGirl on November 30, 2008, 05:55:15 PM
Apply talcum powder after putting your contact lenses in.  Real talcum powder is made by grinding down talc rock.  Little pieces of rock on your contact lens really hurt!

I did wash my hands before I put my lenses in, but there must have been some residual powder in the air or something.  Ouch!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Outdoor Girl on November 30, 2008, 05:58:36 PM
In the same vein, don't put moisturizer on until after you have put your contacts in.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Black Delphinium on November 30, 2008, 06:01:00 PM
Looks like we should make an "always contacts first" PSA. ;D
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Pinky830 on December 03, 2008, 01:16:12 PM
I was cleaning the kitchen once so my hands were wet from wiping counters and stuff. I needed to move the toaster so I picked it up by sticking my thumbs and fingers into the slots.

Oops. I was always a little afraid of that toaster after that, like it was going to randomly reach out and shock me.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Slartibartfast on December 04, 2008, 02:16:26 AM
My college roommate dyed her hair bright purple.  The showers in the dorm were white tile.  We spent a good two hours trying to clean up, but it still looked like someone blew up Barney in one of the shower stalls.  Conclusion: don't do that.

Corollary: if the shower clearly still has a good deal of purple dye left in it, and the floor drains don't work all that well, wear tall shoes to shower.  Dying your feet pinkish-purple up to your ankles is very difficult to explain when it's summer and you want to wear sandals.  (It took weeks to come out!)

---------------------------------------

A few weeks ago, my parents came to visit.  I was trying to run the vacuum, but it was making weird noises and smelled bad.  Dad, in all his tinkering wisdom, figured it was probably a clogged tube and volunteered to fix it.  There was indeed a large hairball clogging up the tubes inside.  After picking at it for a bit, dad decided it would be faster to open up the connecting tube and run the vacuum for a few seconds, loosening the clog and making it easier to remove.  Dad leaned over so he could see what was going on, turned on the vacuum, and (you can see where this is going . . .)

Cue a "foop!" noise and a mushroom cloud of dust spewing from the vacuum in a good eight-foot circle around dad.  Whose face and hair were suddenly completely gray.  The clog came out just fine - the dog pounced on it and promptly shredded it into approximately 6,000 square feet of dog fur and dust.  And then proceeded to make a game out of dodging past us, picking up dust bunnies, and "hiding" them in another room.  She single-handedly repopulated the dust bunny warren collection under the bed.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: soetkin on December 04, 2008, 06:25:16 AM
Don't unscrew your entire book case in one go before taking it apart, do it step by step, otherwise you'll end up holding the top piece you just lifted off while the rest of the bookcase will cartoonishly collapse around you in a giant heap of noise and wood. Also, as a final insult, you'll be brained by the teetering side just when you put the top down.
Then, when the pain has receded and you have stacked all the loose boards against the wall while cursing, one piece will fall over just to have the last darn word.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: nekoro on December 04, 2008, 08:34:25 AM
Oooh, oooohh, I have another one!

If you have a dish covered in plastic wrap that you need to let rise overnight...
And you have a teenage boy who has volunteered to put the dish in the oven the next morning...

...be sure that the instructions you leave specify to take off the plastic wrap before cooking.

We were just lucky he doesn't get up that much earlier than the rest of us.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: purplemuse on December 04, 2008, 09:12:04 AM
If your husband has volunteered to get dinner for you, and part of your dinner is a food that he never eats, it might not be a bad idea to supervise.

DH and I were having leftovers last night, and part of what I was having included (cold) macaroni salad (which DH doesn't like).  So DH was microwaving stuff, and I happened to wander out to the kitchen to see my macaroni salad in the line-up of things that were going in the microwave.

Thoughts that went though my head:  No, he wouldn't... but I'd better check...

Me:  Did you microwave my macaroni salad?
DH:  Not yet.
Me:   :o *explains that macaroni salad is eaten cold*
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: White Dragon on December 04, 2008, 06:06:45 PM
Do not, while standing under the running shower, note that the light in the shower has burned out and now would be a good time to change the bulb...

Happily, I went "D'oh!!" before I got the shade off.

And from a gentleman friend:

Do not cook with dried peppers and then go to the washroom.
Some places to get pepper oil are, apparentely, **far** worse than others!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Paper Roses on December 04, 2008, 07:13:36 PM
OK, here's one.

It was the summer of 1992.  At the time, we only had one child, and he was only a year old, so he wasn't eating grown-up food yet.

I had just gotten an absolutely killer recipe for Ceasar salad.  The recipe called for a whole head of Romaine lettuce.  I had never made Ceasar salad before, and didn't realize that the whole heads of romaine were, at that time, extraordinarily big.  So this recipe made a huge batch of salad.  DH and I loved it, so we ended up having it about 3 nights in a row for dinner.  And that's all we had for dinner on those nights.  And it was just the 2 of us, so between us we ate a really big bowl of Ceasar salad every night for 3 nights in a row.

Soooooooo, I was walking by a produce stand that Friday, and they had a bunch of huge ears of corn, 6 for a dollar.  (That summer was apparently a really good one for produce).  So I decided to buy some to have with our Ceasar salad that night for dinner.  As I was gathering my corn, the man at the stand said to me, "Ah, go ahead and take 8 of them.  8 for a dollar."  So I did.  My mouth was watering in anticipation of a wonderful Ceasar salad and corn on the cob feast that night.

The catch:  The next day, we were going on vacation.  A six-hour flight.  And there was no way any of that corn on the cob was going to be wasted, nor the big head of romaine lettuce I'd already bought.

The moral of the story:  No matter how tempting, don't eat a huge ceasar salad and 4 big ears of corn the night before you go on a very crowded six-hour flight.  An airplane is not where you want to be when your digestive system finally begins to experience the effects of all that lettuce and corn.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Adoptstrays on December 07, 2008, 10:14:28 PM
ROFLMYBUTTOFF  ;D  you poor things.....and the poor, poor passengers who had to go in there after you......
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Paper Roses on December 08, 2008, 12:38:47 AM
ROFLMYBUTTOFF  ;D  you poor things.....and the poor, poor passengers who had to go in there after you......

Well, let's just say that I understand the expression "stink eye" very well.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: 2littlemonkeys on December 08, 2008, 09:41:20 AM
My roommate in college learned the hard way that if the steak you're broiling catches fire, you should not grab a paper plate and try to 'blow' the flames out.  I'm very happy that I walked in when I did.

I learned that leaving nail polish within 200 yards of a curious toddler will result in nail polish on your bedding, floor and toddler.  I also learned that that stuff will actually come out if you are willing to spend some time with remover.  I considered the sheets a loss anyhow and was pleasantly surprised to save them. 

Never try to change the toner on the fax machine because you don't want to bother the person who's supposed to do it.  Just let them do it.  (toner.  all.  over. EVERYTHING.  I think I cried.)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: PeasNCues on December 08, 2008, 11:01:32 AM
If you're going to catch your kitchen on fire, make sure your neighbor has five of his most attractive military firemen friends visiting at the time.

Worked for us :)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: RedRuby on December 08, 2008, 12:56:09 PM
If you're going to catch your kitchen on fire, make sure your neighbor has five of his most attractive military firemen friends visiting at the time.

Worked for us :)

That sounds like a good plan :)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Pinky830 on December 08, 2008, 12:57:17 PM
I thought of this thread a little while ago.

Now that I am the High Goddess of the Pressure Washer at my house, I decided to do the swing that's hangin under our deck. Worked great except of course the water pressure made the swing move around, so I thought maybe I should take it down. Except I couldn't reach the hooks. Hey! I'll just stand ON THE SWING to reach them!

Oh, right, that's probably a bad idea.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: PeasNCues on December 08, 2008, 12:58:49 PM
If you're going to catch your kitchen on fire, make sure your neighbor has five of his most attractive military firemen friends visiting at the time.

Worked for us :)

That sounds like a good plan :)

It was.

The second time roomie managed to catch the kitchen on fire, we weren't so lucky. But, at least then the building maintanence people believed us when we told them the oven was on the fritz!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Pinky830 on December 08, 2008, 01:00:35 PM
I learned that leaving nail polish within 200 yards of a curious toddler will result in nail polish on your bedding, floor and toddler.  I also learned that that stuff will actually come out if you are willing to spend some time with remover.  I considered the sheets a loss anyhow and was pleasantly surprised to save them. 



When my 2yo son spilled nail polish on the carpet, he got some on his feet. When my MIL asked him what happened when she saw his feet later, he sighed and said, "Mess. Big mess."

3 years later when DD did the same thing, I called the carpet cleaning guy and paid the emergency fee. $75 later, the polish was gone without a trace.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: PeasNCues on December 08, 2008, 01:03:15 PM
I learned that leaving nail polish within 200 yards of a curious toddler will result in nail polish on your bedding, floor and toddler.  I also learned that that stuff will actually come out if you are willing to spend some time with remover.  I considered the sheets a loss anyhow and was pleasantly surprised to save them. 



When my 2yo son spilled nail polish on the carpet, he got some on his feet. When my MIL asked him what happened when she saw his feet later, he sighed and said, "Mess. Big mess."

3 years later when DD did the same thing, I called the carpet cleaning guy and paid the emergency fee. $75 later, the polish was gone without a trace.
My little sister used to be an escape artist (and for some reason mom wouldn't heed my sister and I when we suggested turning the crib upside down!). She got into the baby powder 1st. No matter how many times we vacuumed, whenever you walked into her room you'd see little clouds of white puffing up where you walked.

Then she got into the vaseline - and smeared it everywhere. Poor Pooh Bear had to be tossed.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: readingchick on December 09, 2008, 03:41:58 PM
hehehe

I don't mean to laugh, but these are all too funny.....
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Mrs. Eclipse on December 10, 2008, 06:49:27 PM
How about this:  dishwashER liquid is not the same as dishwashING liquid.  One goes in the sink, and one goes in the dishwasher.  And there's a reson for that, too.

Bubbles everywhere!  Pity I had to miss them...
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: geordicat on December 10, 2008, 06:50:37 PM
How about this:  dishwashER liquid is not the same as dishwashING liquid.  One goes in the sink, and one goes in the dishwasher.  And there's a reson for that, too.

Bubbles everywhere!  Pity I had to miss them...

Well, at least you end up with a clean floor!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: RedRuby on December 10, 2008, 07:28:02 PM
How about this:  dishwashER liquid is not the same as dishwashING liquid.  One goes in the sink, and one goes in the dishwasher.  And there's a reson for that, too.

Bubbles everywhere!  Pity I had to miss them...

That sounds like something I would do! Thanks for the warning!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Pinky830 on December 11, 2008, 03:33:14 PM
How about this:  dishwashER liquid is not the same as dishwashING liquid.  One goes in the sink, and one goes in the dishwasher.  And there's a reson for that, too.

Bubbles everywhere!  Pity I had to miss them...

My roommate did that once. It was a heck of a sight. I couldn't get too upset, though, as it was only a few months after my encounter with the toaster (upthread).
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: soetkin on December 12, 2008, 04:59:20 AM
How about this:  dishwashER liquid is not the same as dishwashING liquid.  One goes in the sink, and one goes in the dishwasher.  And there's a reson for that, too.

Bubbles everywhere!  Pity I had to miss them...

My roommate did that once. It was a heck of a sight. I couldn't get too upset, though, as it was only a few months after my encounter with the toaster (upthread).
I did it once. WALL OF BUBBLES!!! I laughed like a loon during the entire clean-up.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: purplemuse on December 12, 2008, 10:49:37 AM
How about this:  dishwashER liquid is not the same as dishwashING liquid.  One goes in the sink, and one goes in the dishwasher.  And there's a reson for that, too.

Bubbles everywhere!  Pity I had to miss them...

My DH did this the one time we used the dishwasher.  We had a lot of dishes that night, so DH decided to run the dishwasher.  About 5 minutes after it started, it dawned on me (no pun intended)-- we don't have dishwasher liquid-- what did DH use?

So I went into the kitchen to be confronted by what looked like a rabid dishwasher.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: 2littlemonkeys on December 12, 2008, 11:07:57 AM
How about this:  dishwashER liquid is not the same as dishwashING liquid.  One goes in the sink, and one goes in the dishwasher.  And there's a reson for that, too.

Bubbles everywhere!  Pity I had to miss them...

My DH did this the one time we used the dishwasher.  We had a lot of dishes that night, so DH decided to run the dishwasher.  About 5 minutes after it started, it dawned on me (no pun intended)-- we don't have dishwasher liquid-- what did DH use?

So I went into the kitchen to be confronted by what looked like a rabid dishwasher.

My dad did this once and to this day, I swear he did it on purpose so he would never have to do that chore again.  Too bad it didn't work... >:D
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: basphillips on December 13, 2008, 11:25:13 AM
When my sister was a young teen she had long straight hair. She learned the hard way that you must keep your hair out of the way when you are using a stand mixer to mix cake batter. Her hair was completely wound up in the beaters. Fortunately she had enough sense to turn off the mixer so she wasn't scalped, just stuck.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: mandycorn on December 15, 2008, 01:40:45 PM
When I was four or five, I learned the hard way that if you're going to get cookie dough off the beaters with your finger, you should make sure mom turns off the mixer first!


It was a little underpowered handmixer, so my finger was fine, but ya, don't do that...
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Pinky830 on December 15, 2008, 02:02:44 PM
Here's one that's a little more arcane, but I tell it a lot at work. I use a medication called metronidazole for a variety of intestinal ailments. It works great for a lot of things, but it is EXTREMELY bitter tasting. The way I discovered that dates back to vet school when I was medicating a horse. I was supposed to crush a bunch of these tablets and pour them into a big syringe, add corn syrup to mask the taste and give it by mouth to the horse.

So I got syrup on my finger. So I did what anyone does when they get syrup on their finger, and licked it off.

BLEAAHHH! I still had some metronidazole powder on my fingers. I ran to the nearest floor drain and spit violently in a very unladylike manner.

Sixteen years later, I still tell every client, "After you give this stuff, do yourself a favor and wash your hands after you handle the tablets."
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: basphillips on December 15, 2008, 03:09:53 PM
My DH is an accident waiting to happen,so he has lots of these stories. When he was a child he learned ya don't stick your finger in your mom's  meat grinder-yea, that finger is a little shorter than it should be.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Clara Bow on December 17, 2008, 05:36:57 PM
Here's one that's a little more arcane, but I tell it a lot at work. I use a medication called metronidazole for a variety of intestinal ailments. It works great for a lot of things, but it is EXTREMELY bitter tasting. The way I discovered that dates back to vet school when I was medicating a horse. I was supposed to crush a bunch of these tablets and pour them into a big syringe, add corn syrup to mask the taste and give it by mouth to the horse.

So I got syrup on my finger. So I did what anyone does when they get syrup on their finger, and licked it off.

BLEAAHHH! I still had some metronidazole powder on my fingers. I ran to the nearest floor drain and spit violently in a very unladylike manner.

Sixteen years later, I still tell every client, "After you give this stuff, do yourself a favor and wash your hands after you handle the tablets."

Speaking of metronidazole.....most people only drink alcohol while taking it ONE time.
We had a customer end up in the ER convinced he was dying he got so sick doing that!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Reika on December 17, 2008, 06:47:54 PM
Mom was telling me a story about the time she gave her nephew a couple of bites of mince pie... Not the one with meat, but the one full of good tasting, rich fruit... He was 1, maybe 2, he had a small scoop of ice cream and wanted some of mom's pie. Not thinking anything about it, since he was on solids at that point, she let him have a little bit of her pie. Shortly after his mom got out of work, picked him up and took him home.

About 20 minutes later mom gets a call, just enough time for her sister to get home and put stuff away. This was the following convo:

"What the f*** did you feed my kid?!"
"Um, a couple of bites of mince pie."
"You are NOT allowed to give him of that ever again!"
"Er, why?"
"You haven't seen what's coming out of his diaper!"

My grandmother overheard their chat, and was apparently almost in hysterics from laughing so hard. Mom managed not to laugh until she was off the phone. And no, she never did give him mince again.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Clara Bow on December 20, 2008, 10:35:01 PM
When I was two, I got ahold of some Beernuts.
A LOT of Beernuts.
My mother said it was the most horrible diaper she had ever seen in her life.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: shuniah on December 21, 2008, 12:49:33 AM
Don't get me started on the day my husband thought that because baby can have mushy food, that a few spoonfuls of Thai soup was ok (not I was not around during this incident).


I think my plants DIED when I took that diaper off...
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: purplemuse on December 22, 2008, 06:50:33 AM
When I was four or five, I learned the hard way that if you're going to get cookie dough off the beaters with your finger, you should make sure mom turns off the mixer first!


It was a little underpowered handmixer, so my finger was fine, but ya, don't do that...

That reminds me of a birthday card I gave my mother one year:

Good mothers let their kids lick the beaters.

Great mothers turn the mixer off first.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Pinky830 on December 22, 2008, 03:54:43 PM
My DH is an accident waiting to happen,so he has lots of these stories. When he was a child he learned ya don't stick your finger in your mom's  meat grinder-yea, that finger is a little shorter than it should be.

One summer when I was home from school, my dad was cutting grass one morning and stopped the mower to get as stick or something off the blade. That's stopped, not turned it off. Reached underneath to grab at the blade. Which was still spinning.

He ran toward the house yelling to my mom, "Don't panic, but throw me a towel!"

They both raced off the the ER (Mom asked Dad what happened, he said he didn't want to talk about it), and I got up some time later to find an empty house and blood all over the porch.

Yeesh. He ended up being fine; skin grafts are a marvelous thing. He never did stop feeling stupid about it, though.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: MrsJWine on December 22, 2008, 04:02:08 PM
I grab fresh-from-the-oven dishes and pans with my bare hands almost daily.  I don't know why.  It hurts a lot.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: geordicat on December 22, 2008, 04:05:02 PM
I was cooking some hamburger for tacos the other night on my gas stove.  I sort of made a small mess while stirring and knocked some meat over the side of the pan.

I *almost* reached into the burner pan to pick up the meat that was really close to the flame.  Almost.   The fact that the burger piece was merrily burning away stopped me from touching it with my bare fingers.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Suze on December 22, 2008, 04:17:41 PM
I grab fresh-from-the-oven dishes and pans with my bare hands almost daily.  I don't know why.  It hurts a lot.

I blame micowave ovens for this one.  You get used to being able to reach in and grab......
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: blue2000 on December 25, 2008, 12:24:05 AM
I grabbed a burner once, intending to lift it so I could reach under and get something. I forgot that I had *just* turned it off. Oweee!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: MrsO on December 26, 2008, 10:00:50 AM
My DD learned a new one yesterday.
Don't stick your finger in a lit jar candle.
She has a blister to remind her not to do that again.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: wonderfullyanonymous on December 27, 2008, 08:17:37 AM
I learned that you shouldn't take a drink at a pivotal moment in a TV comedy show, lest you prove your mother right and drown in a drink of water.

I was watching a Friends episode where Rachel and Monica watch Ross's son. I can't remember exactly what happened, but somehow the baby bumped his head. When they told Ross about it later, he started giving them grief in the form of he probably now has brain damage, etc, etc. He kept going on and on to freak them out, and then started laughing. While laughing, he started to run from them in their apartment, and turned around and ran right into the support pole that was in their apartment.

It was just as that happened that I took a drink of water. I found that day, that one inhales just as they start to laugh. I was trying to cough (hard to do when all you have in your lungs is water) and laugh, again, hard to do when all you have in your lungs is water. I was freaking my kids out, because I was probably turning blue.

Yes, you really can drown in a glass of water...
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: dietcokeofevil on December 27, 2008, 11:14:30 PM
How about this:  dishwashER liquid is not the same as dishwashING liquid.  One goes in the sink, and one goes in the dishwasher.  And there's a reson for that, too.

Bubbles everywhere!  Pity I had to miss them...

My DH did this the one time we used the dishwasher.  We had a lot of dishes that night, so DH decided to run the dishwasher.  About 5 minutes after it started, it dawned on me (no pun intended)-- we don't have dishwasher liquid-- what did DH use?

So I went into the kitchen to be confronted by what looked like a rabid dishwasher.

My dad did this once and to this day, I swear he did it on purpose so he would never have to do that chore again.  Too bad it didn't work... >:D

My DH (boyfriend at the time) did this one too.  He was visiting me and I had to go to work, so he decided to be nice and clean my apartment.  Came home and my dishtowels were hanging all around the kitchen...that's when he admitted what happened.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Shipoopi on December 27, 2008, 11:39:59 PM
Last time I dyed my hair red, I accidentally got it all over the brand new white towels, hand towels, and washcloths.  :o
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Helena Handbasket on December 30, 2008, 03:15:47 PM
I have one!

If you have a gas oven and decide you want a baked potato and 30 minutes after you put the potato in remember you forgot to light the oven...

I learned that burned eyeballs feel like you have a beach full of sand in them.  Also that I look really funny without eyelashes, eyebrows and no hair around my face.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: geordicat on December 30, 2008, 04:07:57 PM
ow!!

this is where the little toater oven comes in handy!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: housewife2k on December 30, 2008, 09:05:25 PM
I am possitive this is a repeat, but I feel it is one that cannot be stated enough.
Do not, no matter how hungry you are, how good it looks, how great is smells, eat a pizza immediately after taking it out of the oven.
Let it sit for at least a few minutes.
Pizzamouth is a horrible thing.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Helena Handbasket on December 30, 2008, 09:16:28 PM
ow!!

this is where the little toaster oven comes in handy!

Since this was back in 1972 or so I'm not sure toaster ovens were even invented yet!  ;)  But I've always had electric ovens since then.

And I agree-pizzamouth is AWFUL.  Sizzling cheese searing its way through the roof of your mouth.  Yum.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: snowfire on December 30, 2008, 09:26:12 PM
Pizza cheese...the gift that keeps on giving... :o
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: shadowfox79 on December 31, 2008, 05:16:39 AM
Last time I dyed my hair red, I accidentally got it all over the brand new white towels, hand towels, and washcloths.  :o

While helping to dye my mother's hair while my aunt was staying with her, I couldn't get the gloves off (too slippery) so wiped them on a nearby towel before removing them.

It was my aunt's towel.

She was not impressed when the dye developed. Mum had a lovely head of chestnut hair and my aunt had a lovely towel covered in brown stains.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: RedRuby on December 31, 2008, 03:15:44 PM
When I was a kid me & my friend came up with the brilliant idea that we'd drink our hot chocolate out of straws because drinking out of straws was fun. Um, well... it's not so much fun when the hot chocolate is scalding and your mouth is flooded with a whole lot of it in an instant - before you even realize how hot it is. Yah, don't do that. We quickly learned why we should sip it first.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: geordicat on December 31, 2008, 06:22:28 PM
Ok, who remembers the exerciser thingie you put over the door knob?  You would work your arms and legs with a pully system thing that attached to a door knob.

Have I mentioned it attached to the door knob?

Ya.. here I was, about 12 years old merrily working away with the thing, zip zip zip zip ...  it's attached to the door knob.  My sister comes in the door.... CRACK!   splat-- the edge of the door went right into my skull.

So.. don't use the door knob exerciser thingies unless the door opens the OTHER way, away from you. 
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: MrsO on January 01, 2009, 06:48:42 AM
I had a new one yesterday! (Quite disgusting by the way) Don't have a spray tan when you have a cold/runny nose. You know how the stuff they spray on you is orangey/brown? Well, that stuff gets up your nose. And dyes everything up there orangey brown. I had a nose running with orangey brown mucus yesterday, which in turn dyed my nostrils bright orange. Not the look I was going for.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Miss Vertigo on January 01, 2009, 06:57:07 AM
I had a new one yesterday! (Quite disgusting by the way) Don't have a spray tan when you have a cold/runny nose. You know how the stuff they spray on you is orangey/brown? Well, that stuff gets up your nose. And dyes everything up there orangey brown. I had a nose running with orangey brown mucus yesterday, which in turn dyed my nostrils bright orange. Not the look I was going for.

Ha!

As a 10-year veteran of the London Black Snot phenomenon, during which one simply can't blame running mascara when one has a cold, I feel your pain  ;D
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Pinky830 on January 01, 2009, 07:24:34 PM
Ok, who remembers the exerciser thingie you put over the door knob?  You would work your arms and legs with a pully system thing that attached to a door knob.

Have I mentioned it attached to the door knob?

Ya.. here I was, about 12 years old merrily working away with the thing, zip zip zip zip ...  it's attached to the door knob.  My sister comes in the door.... CRACK!   splat-- the edge of the door went right into my skull.

So.. don't use the door knob exerciser thingies unless the door opens the OTHER way, away from you. 

My grandmother had one of those. I guess I should be thankful it was attached to the attic stair door.  :)

OK, here's a story. This one dates from about 1950. When my dad was a kid, one afternoon he had been riding his horse, and he rode up to the house and tied the horse to the back stairs.

The stairs were wooden and attached to the back of the house with a couple of bolts. My grandfather was sitting on the stairs reading the paper. My aunt came out the back door and slammed the door.

Anyone who knows horses want to guess what happened next?

Yep, the horse spooked and pulled back as hard as he could. Pulled the entire stairs right off the house, pitching Papa and Aunt Bonnie onto the ground. Much screaming and chaos ensued.

My brother and I grew up on that story and the mental image cracked us up, over and over.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Animala on January 01, 2009, 08:13:51 PM
I was in to super natural stuff for awhile and made this natural remedy that if it didn't kill you would cure you.  (Raw onion, garlic, horseradish, ginger and the hottest peppers you can get your hands on.)

I don't care for spicy food so I had never worked with peppers before.  The hottest I could find were Habanero chili peppers which are 100,000+.  I cut them up and threw them in what I needed and inadvertently touched my face and eye.  I have rosacea on my face and in my eye so I don't know if it is a normal reaction, but I thought that my face was going to melt off.  It owied bad.

Moral: ALWAYS wear gloves when working with peppers and don't touch anything.  (The oil can transfer too.)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: CG on January 01, 2009, 08:21:53 PM
I was in to super natural stuff for awhile and made this natural remedy that if it didn't kill you would cure you.  (Raw onion, garlic, horseradish, ginger and the hottest peppers you can get your hands on.)

I don't care for spicy food so I had never worked with peppers before.  The hottest I could find were Habanero chili peppers which are 100,000+.  I cut them up and threw them in what I needed and inadvertently touched my face and eye.  I have rosacea on my face and in my eye so I don't know if it is a normal reaction, but I thought that my face was going to melt off.  It owied bad.

Moral: ALWAYS wear gloves when working with peppers and don't touch anything.  (The oil can transfer too.)

Standard practice for habanero peppers is to wear gloves and wash your hands and everything that touched them immediately with soap and soap and hot water and more soap (to make sure you remove all the oils). It's not just you, I promise.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: caslyn on January 02, 2009, 02:00:43 PM
I grab fresh-from-the-oven dishes and pans with my bare hands almost daily.  I don't know why.  It hurts a lot.

See I do this to ensure that the laws of the universe still apply. If it ever doesn't hurt, I know I need to call very important people and let them know that the end of the universe is possibly imminent.  ;D
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Clara Bow on January 02, 2009, 03:17:30 PM
I grab fresh-from-the-oven dishes and pans with my bare hands almost daily.  I don't know why.  It hurts a lot.

See I do this to ensure that the laws of the universe still apply. If it ever doesn't hurt, I know I need to call very important people and let them know that the end of the universe is possibly imminent.  ;D

I only do it with my Dutch oven...I'm used to using it on the stovetop and whenever I put it in the oven I'll just grab the handles like a ninny because I'm used to them being cool....
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: snowfire on January 04, 2009, 02:09:04 AM
An ex-roomie once heard that if you are getting a cold, eat a bunch of hot peppers and they will "burn" the cold out of you.  Nope...didn't burn the cold out of her, but the screams and moans coming from the bathroom told what it did burn out of her.  :o
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Schmoopie3928 on January 07, 2009, 01:03:54 PM
Ohhhh! I have lots of these! Forgive any repeats, I didn't get to read the whole thread.

For men: after slicing Jalapenos, do not wash your hnds with just water and then go to the restroom. Use soap!

For both: same as above, but don't rub your eyes!

When operating a meat slicer, don't pick a stray bit of sliced turkey off the blade while it is still running. I still have that scar

Also when operating a slicer, do noy hold  a cucumber in your bare hand and slice while not looking at your hand. The bit I sliced off my thumb grew back, but not the fingerprint.

Here's mine from today:
If enjoying your salad in the car during lunch, make sure the window is closed from the direction the wind is blowing. Nothing like a grit/dead leaf salad!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: CG on January 07, 2009, 07:08:14 PM
Take your own advice. When you tell someone that the cookie sheet is hot...believe yourself!

Ah well. I think half my scars come from baking...
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: White Dragon on January 11, 2009, 03:35:45 PM
So today I had to go in the garage to find something.

As I dug around in a bin of assorted stuff, I found...

...a kitchen pot full of chicken/beef/turkey (???) stock that had been put out to cool.

Apparently, this had happened some weeks ago.

It was fuzzy. :P

Umm.
Yeah.
Don't do that!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: RedRuby on January 12, 2009, 04:16:54 PM
I'm notoriously bad at taking care of plants.

A friend gave me a lovely potted plant at my housewarming party several years ago. I was determined to take good care of it.

For the first couple of weeks I did, then it got unbearably hot. I had to close all the window shades to keep the sun out. It occurred to me that this would mean the plant wouldn't get enough light so I put the plant on the fire escape for a few hours to get some sun.

Well, a couple of weeks later I realized I'd left the plant out there the entire time! It was brown & crispy.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Bibliophile on January 12, 2009, 04:20:56 PM
When starting the gas fireplace, do not place your face close to the opening.  Also, light the lighter and then turn up the gas.  Turning on the gas and then lighting the lighter just lets the gas build up so you get a fireball and singed eyebrows.

Don't walk near the stairs in the dark when you have dark colored cats.  By the time you see the white paws, it's too late.

Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: AFwife_3boys on January 12, 2009, 04:35:17 PM
Ok - this is something my mother did.

Apparently she was worried that she wasn't getting enough fiber so she bought some of those fiber crackers you can buy in the pharmacy section of the store. So she gets to work and starts snacking on crackers - however she DID NOT read the label to verify how many it is safe to eat in one day. Nope, she just ate the WHOLE DARN PACKAGE in ONE sitting - so within an hour.

Yeah - her coworkers will never let her live down the day she ate a WHOLE package of fiber crackers at her desk and spent the rest of the morning running to the bathroom.

Her fiber is fine now - she thinks!

LMBO!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Clara Bow on January 12, 2009, 10:26:51 PM
And heaven help her if it isn't!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: MrsJWine on January 12, 2009, 10:42:24 PM
Yeah - her coworkers will never let her live down the day she ate a WHOLE package of fiber crackers at her desk and spent the rest of the morning running to the bathroom.

I made a very similar mistake after having the baby.  Things were *ahem* going badly, I got some wheat bran, one thing led to another...
 :-X

Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: purplemuse on January 13, 2009, 01:46:14 PM
I think I've mentioned this in another thread, but if you are playing tag, don't make a brick wall your "home free."

Emergency trips to the dentist are not fun.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Squeaks on January 13, 2009, 02:51:08 PM
This is not so much a don't as I would do it again, but a warning that i wish my vet had given me. . . maybe it will help you all.

I have three cats.  Two mellow and tolerant little anomalies that do not mind traveling (and don't complain that much about baths either!)  and number three is a little more temperamental.  Typically this is the cat that does not shut up for entire car rides.

So since i am a weirdo and like to travel with cats and asked my vet his thoughts on sedating cats and if he would ever prescribe a sedative.  He had no problem with sedating a cat for travel and said just use Benadryl (he recommended a dose. . . said twice that would not hurt the cat at all i gave 1/2 his dose. . . so yes i was careful - and the vet did ok it and even recommended it)

Well he did not happen to mention a certain side effect. . . on that luckily i did encounter online so i was prepared. . . had i not read up on it. . .  well travel plans would have been canceled so two crying idiots could rush kitty to the vet

Anyway we gave him the dose. And the cat proceeded to grow a 3-4 inch long Santa Clause beard of drool/foam.  I had read that they can foam at the month due to their perception of it being bitter - but this was insane!  it was an instant Santa Beard, he would then shake it off and grow another within moments. . . he likely grew 4 before it stopped.  My guy and i cracked up and really kicked ourself for not getting a picture of this cat sitting perfectly sill and upright glaring at us with a beard.  He did not seem in distress at all. . . . just sat there with a beard.

So if you ever give your kitty Benadryl. . .  fair warning.

FWIW. . .  it worked wonderfully.  Within a few minutes kitty was sleeping peacefully, but still wakeable.  He fought a little at being leashed and being put in the carrier, but far less than usual.  He meowed like 10 times in a 1 hour long drive - took a nice long nap at out destination, and was perfectly happy to snuggle me in bed that night - last time i traveled with him he would not come out of the bed. . . this time he was friendly - even with strangers which is rare for him. . . i think he managed to sleep through most of the stress of the car ride and then just did not care as much about his destination. We did not do it on the way back for a comparison. . .  yowled the whole way home.  The other cats were good too, but they kinda always are.


Ohh and just because you have had five or six cats that were too dumb to know there was a bird in their house. . . . don't think all cats will continue the tradition. And don't assume that a cat will realize eating a bird bigger than it is likely not going to work so well.
(http://i38.photobucket.com/albums/e102/SqueaksOne/badkitty.jpg)










Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Squeaks on January 13, 2009, 03:22:02 PM
I am possitive this is a repeat, but I feel it is one that cannot be stated enough.
Do not, no matter how hungry you are, how good it looks, how great is smells, eat a pizza immediately after taking it out of the oven.
Let it sit for at least a few minutes.
Pizzamouth is a horrible thing.


My guy told me a weird one in connection with that. 

Apparently his mother and her sister thought that it was, un-ladylike or unattractive or something to pant with hot food (i.e. too hot pizza) So they would purposefully eat too hot pizza and press it into the roof of their mouths to burn themselves as practice for a dating.

I really do not get that one.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: MrsO on January 13, 2009, 03:23:26 PM
I am possitive this is a repeat, but I feel it is one that cannot be stated enough.
Do not, no matter how hungry you are, how good it looks, how great is smells, eat a pizza immediately after taking it out of the oven.
Let it sit for at least a few minutes.
Pizzamouth is a horrible thing.


My guy told me a weird one in connection with that. 

Apparently his mother and her sister thought that it was, un-ladylike or unattractive or something to pant with hot food (i.e. too hot pizza) So they would purposefully eat too hot pizza and press it into the roof of their mouths to burn themselves as practice for a d@ting.

I really do not get that one.
Why not just wait for your food to cool before eating it?!  ???
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Squeaks on January 13, 2009, 03:27:27 PM
I am possitive this is a repeat, but I feel it is one that cannot be stated enough.
Do not, no matter how hungry you are, how good it looks, how great is smells, eat a pizza immediately after taking it out of the oven.
Let it sit for at least a few minutes.
Pizzamouth is a horrible thing.


My guy told me a weird one in connection with that. 

Apparently his mother and her sister thought that it was, un-ladylike or unattractive or something to pant with hot food (i.e. too hot pizza) So they would purposefully eat too hot pizza and press it into the roof of their mouths to burn themselves as practice for a d@ting.

I really do not get that one.
Why not just wait for your food to cool before eating it?!  ???

No idea.  For them it was some kind of endurance training or something. . . and the apparently laugh about it to this day as a found memory.

Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Giggity on January 13, 2009, 05:24:00 PM
No matter how inviting it looks, do not open the jar of ground cayenne pepper and sniff it.

Trust a girl on this.

It was FAR worse than the whole frying-bacon-topless thing.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Giggity on January 13, 2009, 05:26:28 PM
When I was four or five, I learned the hard way that if you're going to get cookie dough off the beaters with your finger, you should make sure mom turns off the mixer first!


It was a little underpowered handmixer, so my finger was fine, but ya, don't do that...
Finger? You wuss! Try using your tongue like a real man.

In that same vein, no matter how appetizing it looks, do not lick the side of the stainless-steel fridge. Jamie and Adam are right.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: MrsJWine on January 13, 2009, 07:58:03 PM
No matter how inviting it looks, do not open the jar of ground cayenne pepper and sniff it.


On that note, when emptying a jar of pepper, do not blow on the inside to get all the pepper out.  Especially if your eyes are open.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: dawbs on January 13, 2009, 08:21:28 PM
Oh, Purplemuse's brick wall =/= home base reminded me of another one...

Chairs that swivel are NOT to be used as step stools.
EVER.
That was a long ER trip.
And everyone in the family got to explain, repeatedly that no, no one hit us (although it sure as shooting looked like someone had taken a right hand swing--sis fell face down onto a bedpost) that it was an accident...that actually occurred while cleaning up toys.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: dietcokeofevil on January 13, 2009, 08:45:56 PM
I learned this one today:

Don't wear pretty polka dot underwear with bright purple trim under light tan dress pants.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: snowfire on January 14, 2009, 01:13:17 AM
If you drop the soldering iron, just wave goodbye.  DO NOTtry to grab it. You will grab the wrong end.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Paper Roses on January 14, 2009, 01:22:23 AM
I am possitive this is a repeat, but I feel it is one that cannot be stated enough.
Do not, no matter how hungry you are, how good it looks, how great is smells, eat a pizza immediately after taking it out of the oven.
Let it sit for at least a few minutes.
Pizzamouth is a horrible thing.


My guy told me a weird one in connection with that. 

Apparently his mother and her sister thought that it was, un-ladylike or unattractive or something to pant with hot food (i.e. too hot pizza) So they would purposefully eat too hot pizza and press it into the roof of their mouths to burn themselves as practice for a d@ting.

I really do not get that one.

Egads!  How did they practice for marriage - jump into a vat full of acid?
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: MrsO on January 14, 2009, 01:48:42 AM
No matter how inviting it looks, do not open the jar of ground cayenne pepper and sniff it.


On that note, when emptying a jar of pepper, do not blow on the inside to get all the pepper out.  Especially if your eyes are open.
On a related note, don't spill pepper on the electric hob while it's switched on. It will burn onto the hob, it fill fill the air with black smoke which burns your throat and eyes, and the smoke won't clear for hours.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: White Dragon on January 14, 2009, 01:50:38 PM
If you drop the soldering iron, just wave goodbye.  DO NOTtry to grab it. You will grab the wrong end.

On the same note, when you knock a potted cactus off the counter, let it fall.

Do not give into the reflex to catch it on the way down!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: geordicat on January 14, 2009, 02:07:02 PM
If you drop the soldering iron, just wave goodbye.  DO NOTtry to grab it. You will grab the wrong end.

On the same note, when you knock a potted cactus off the counter, let it fall.

Do not give into the reflex to catch it on the way down!

This goes for knives, too.  Just back up as fast as you can.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Animala on January 14, 2009, 03:26:28 PM
 I have a tiny bathroom, it only has a toilet and a shower stall.  It doesn't even have any outlets.  I also have a two shower  heads, one fixed and one hand held.  When I take my shower I turn on the morning news on the radio in the kitchen and place it on the floor by the door of the bathroom. 
 
Last night when the kid took his shower he left the water on the shower head and left the it hanging instead of put back in its holder. 

So I did my normal routine and place the radio on the floor, reached in and turned on the water and I was wet, the floor was wet, everything was wet.  It  just went everywhere and I couldn't figure out which to turn off first. Do I try to turn off the water while sharing it with a plugged in radio or do I move the plugged in radio while standing in water?

I really have no idea how I wasn't electrocuted.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: RedRuby on January 14, 2009, 04:01:32 PM
I recently used one of those big, sunken bathtubs at a hotel. Conveniently, they added a hand-held shower head next to the tub so you could wash your hair in the tub & rinse out the tub if you leave a ring of bubble bath.

I wasn't paying attention to which direction the shower head was aiming when I was fiddling with all the switches (it took me a while to figure out how to get it on). I happened to turn it on while aiming it directly at my face. I was so startled & amused that I moved my head out of the way (after getting hit in the face with a blast of warm water) and drenched the ceiling right above me. In my fit of laughter I threw both arms up & out (still holding the shower head) and managed to drench the entire ceiling. This all took place in a matter of seconds.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Pinky830 on January 14, 2009, 04:07:18 PM
If the roast recipe has you sear it in the pan before putting it in the oven, and the instructions begin with "Turn the vent fan on..." believe it.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: lilfox on January 14, 2009, 06:19:54 PM
If the roast recipe has you sear it in the pan before putting it in the oven, and the instructions begin with "Turn the vent fan on..." believe it.

Further, if the roast recipe says after searing, to add the marinade, cover, and place in the oven, do not forget the part about covering.  Marinade burnt to a roasting pan was not an appetizing smell, and dried-out beef does not make the best dinner.   :P
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Nimblicity on January 15, 2009, 01:54:46 PM
...
Anyway we gave him the dose. And the cat proceeded to grow a 3-4 inch long Santa Clause beard of drool/foam.  I had read that they can foam at the month due to their perception of it being bitter - but this was insane!  it was an instant Santa Beard, he would then shake it off and grow another within moments. . . he likely grew 4 before it stopped.  My guy and i cracked up and really kicked ourself for not getting a picture of this cat sitting perfectly sill and upright glaring at us with a beard.  He did not seem in distress at all. . . . just sat there with a beard.

Squeaks, I am dying of laughter this very moment.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Nimblicity on January 15, 2009, 01:58:20 PM
No matter how inviting it looks, do not open the jar of ground cayenne pepper and sniff it.


On that note, when emptying a jar of pepper, do not blow on the inside to get all the pepper out.  Especially if your eyes are open.
On a related note, don't spill pepper on the electric hob while it's switched on. It will burn onto the hob, it fill fill the air with black smoke which burns your throat and eyes, and the smoke won't clear for hours.

And yeah, we had to ban cayenne pepper from our apartment after a room mate used it for cooking, got some on the burner, and we literally had to evacuate the apartment, entering only with our breaths held to open all the windows.  That was the most horrible, biting air, almost like acid.  You seriously could not breath in even a little before your throat was bitten by cayenne and you started coughing your lungs out.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Pinky830 on January 15, 2009, 03:49:52 PM
...
Anyway we gave him the dose. And the cat proceeded to grow a 3-4 inch long Santa Clause beard of drool/foam.  I had read that they can foam at the month due to their perception of it being bitter - but this was insane!  it was an instant Santa Beard, he would then shake it off and grow another within moments. . . he likely grew 4 before it stopped.  My guy and i cracked up and really kicked ourself for not getting a picture of this cat sitting perfectly sill and upright glaring at us with a beard.  He did not seem in distress at all. . . . just sat there with a beard.

Squeaks, I am dying of laughter this very moment.

Yeah...that will happen with any medication they don't like the taste of. Especially liquids. Feeling a little guilty here even though I'm not your vet, wondering if I forgot to warn anybody about that...   :-[
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: MrsJWine on January 15, 2009, 03:57:44 PM
I recently used one of those big, sunken bathtubs at a hotel. Conveniently, they added a hand-held shower head next to the tub so you could wash your hair in the tub & rinse out the tub if you leave a ring of bubble bath.

I wasn't paying attention to which direction the shower head was aiming when I was fiddling with all the switches (it took me a while to figure out how to get it on). I happened to turn it on while aiming it directly at my face. I was so startled & amused that I moved my head out of the way (after getting hit in the face with a blast of warm water) and drenched the ceiling right above me. In my fit of laughter I threw both arms up & out (still holding the shower head) and managed to drench the entire ceiling. This all took place in a matter of seconds.

We've had a really rough couple of days with the baby, and this post made my husband and me laugh so hard last night.  I was almost crying.  So thanks.  It made me feel a whole lot better.  :)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: RedRuby on January 15, 2009, 04:02:05 PM
I recently used one of those big, sunken bathtubs at a hotel. Conveniently, they added a hand-held shower head next to the tub so you could wash your hair in the tub & rinse out the tub if you leave a ring of bubble bath.

I wasn't paying attention to which direction the shower head was aiming when I was fiddling with all the switches (it took me a while to figure out how to get it on). I happened to turn it on while aiming it directly at my face. I was so startled & amused that I moved my head out of the way (after getting hit in the face with a blast of warm water) and drenched the ceiling right above me. In my fit of laughter I threw both arms up & out (still holding the shower head) and managed to drench the entire ceiling. This all took place in a matter of seconds.

We've had a really rough couple of days with the baby, and this post made my husband and me laugh so hard last night.  I was almost crying.  So thanks.  It made me feel a whole lot better.  :)

I'm glad my husband wasn't the only one who got to laugh at it!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Squeaks on January 15, 2009, 04:08:27 PM
...
Anyway we gave him the dose. And the cat proceeded to grow a 3-4 inch long Santa Clause beard of drool/foam.  I had read that they can foam at the month due to their perception of it being bitter - but this was insane!  it was an instant Santa Beard, he would then shake it off and grow another within moments. . . he likely grew 4 before it stopped.  My guy and i cracked up and really kicked ourself for not getting a picture of this cat sitting perfectly sill and upright glaring at us with a beard.  He did not seem in distress at all. . . . just sat there with a beard.

Squeaks, I am dying of laughter this very moment.

I really would not. . .  if it is that common I am sure to you it is expected and common knowledge. . . you are only human.  But yes in the future please try to warn us with less knowledge than you.

And I am sure many others would go online as well as ask vets.  Online can give you other ideas and stories that are of great use.



Yeah...that will happen with any medication they don't like the taste of. Especially liquids. Feeling a little guilty here even though I'm not your vet, wondering if I forgot to warn anybody about that...   :-[
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: snowfire on January 19, 2009, 12:05:57 AM
Don't reach up over the boiling pot on the stove to put stuff in the cabinet above the stove.  Steam burns are not pleasant.  :o    Three inch burn on my stomach.  Sigh.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: M-theory on January 23, 2009, 02:06:49 PM
I recently purchased a cashmere-blend hoodie that's labeled "machine washable".

As it turns out, some things are only "machine washable" if you're not counting the integrity of whatever you wash with it. My black velvet skirt came out looking like it had some sort of fluffy purple disease. ::) Good thing duct tape makes a good lint remover - is there anything duct tape CAN'T do?
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Suze on January 23, 2009, 03:14:05 PM
Don't know -If there is I haven't found it yet
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: VorFemme on January 23, 2009, 03:37:55 PM
I don't recommend duct tape for taping off areas that you don't want paint to get on - the adhesive is too strong.

I've also read that you CAN make a pretty good substitute for those self stick bra cups to wear under clothes that bras don't work under - but taking it off is murder on your skin - at best it leaves the area rather raw and at worst it could scar.  So it sounds like one of those ideas where someone tried this already and really didn't like the way things turned out.....
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Suze on January 23, 2009, 03:55:27 PM
I don't recommend duct tape for taping off areas that you don't want paint to get on - the adhesive is too strong.

I've also read that you CAN make a pretty good substitute for those self stick bra cups to wear under clothes that bras don't work under - but taking it off is murder on your skin - at best it leaves the area rather raw and at worst it could scar.  So it sounds like one of those ideas where someone tried this already and really didn't like the way things turned out.....

all you have to do is put the tape on your pants leg or shirt or something and pick up a batch of fuzz.  (the cats do NOT work for this KIDDING- however if you rub the cat on your shirt and then use the tape to pull all the LOOSE hair off....)

you take a lot of stickyness off of the tape, and it can be used for "soft taping"

Suze - not a duct tape freek - noooooo
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: dawbs on January 23, 2009, 04:10:07 PM
I don't recommend duct tape for taping off areas that you don't want paint to get on - the adhesive is too strong.

I've also read that you CAN make a pretty good substitute for those self stick bra cups to wear under clothes that bras don't work under - but taking it off is murder on your skin - at best it leaves the area rather raw and at worst it could scar.  So it sounds like one of those ideas where someone tried this already and really didn't like the way things turned out.....

since this is the thread for dire warnings...
double sided (clear!!) tape is splendid for certain dress up occasions.  It can hold a pesky strapless gown in place, work in place of a strapless bra, and mend tears.  all at once.
If you normally use nice clear toupee tape type substances and, the night of a formal dance, your seam rips and you're stuck, do NOT take up your roomie's BFF's suggestion of clear carpet tape.  

I was the girl w/ the carpet tape and I should have thought it through better because at 2 am, trying to get the stuff off the girl's skin w/o killing her or dousing her w/ chemicals was most unpleasant.  But, in a "CRUD MONKEYS!, we're idiots' sort of way, dang funny. :-)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Talamarie on January 23, 2009, 04:14:59 PM
Good Idea: Using a hot pad to remove things from the oven.
Bad Idea: Using a *wet* hot pad to remove things from the oven.

Good Idea: Using cayenne pepper and fresh peppers in a pot of chili.
Bad Idea: Using fresh habenero peppers in chili, whole, letting them boil for eight hours, then feeding a whole one to your dear bf after telling him it's a jalepeno.

Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Pinky830 on January 23, 2009, 04:20:29 PM
No matter how cool that digital sewing machine is, it is not an autonomous life form. Don't start a buttonhole and then leave it unattended.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: VorFemme on January 23, 2009, 05:21:44 PM
No matter how cool that digital sewing machine is, it is not an autonomous life form. Don't start a buttonhole and then leave it unattended.

Same thing for the embroidery machine.  DH had been told not to interrupt me while I embroidered just over fifty polo shirts for his class (field trip - he wanted them easily identifiable and finds that kids do behave better when dressed well).  He called me away to ask me something that could have waited (and I asked him to wait until the end of that color of thread).

He was handed the seam ripper and the shirt to clean up the error while I went on with the other 49 or so shirts.

The kids loved the shirts and I got to do another fifty or so - now ALL the students in his department have embroidered polo shirts for casual field trips to museums & similar events, t-shirts for events where they need to work/sweat (load & unload food pantry donations as an example), and uniforms for drill meets & to wear for inspections. 

And DH continues to get handed any shirts that need stitches ripped out if he interrupted me at the machine.  >:D

He doesn't interrupt me much any more  ;D - he has learned that the "red, white, & blue rule" (red fire or bloody injury, white bone showing in wound, or blue at lips or limb showing no circulation) is a much better rule of thumb than wandering over to ask me about dinner, where something is, or have I done laundry yet.

He now knows that I will be doing laundry every six or eight shirts to get the chalk marks off - he can just add whatever-it-is that he needs in that load to the pile.  The new rule is HE is in charge of grilling or getting take out when I am embroidering for him (that was the original rule) - but having to rip out stitches on three shirts taught him that it was a GOOD rule to follow to the letter.  Saves a world of frog stitchign (rip-it, rip-it - ribbet, ribbet)    ::) >:D   

Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: blue2000 on January 23, 2009, 05:27:33 PM
I don't recommend duct tape for taping off areas that you don't want paint to get on - the adhesive is too strong.

I've also read that you CAN make a pretty good substitute for those self stick bra cups to wear under clothes that bras don't work under - but taking it off is murder on your skin - at best it leaves the area rather raw and at worst it could scar.  So it sounds like one of those ideas where someone tried this already and really didn't like the way things turned out.....

Speaking as someone who has tried a few things....

Clear packing tape makes a good self-stick bra, but it won't hold forever. It is, however vastly preferable to the real self-stick bras, which are unbelievably painful to remove. You won't likely lose any skin, but that is all I can say for them.


(And now I'm dying to try out a duct tape bra...)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: VorFemme on January 23, 2009, 05:39:49 PM
Duct tape over a t-shirt (longer length with a turtle neck or mock turtle neck recommended) can be used to make a dress maker's form that is your exact duplicate.  You have to be cut out of the form after the taping is done - so don't wear a favorite t-shirt OR a favorite bra - scissors can slip.

You will also need some kind of stand, lots of stuffing, and the instructions are on the Threads magazine site (you can find a link from the publisher's site - www.taunton.com). 

You need at least one person helping and two goes faster.  Don't drink a lot before starting, either.    I suppose that you could try making a "custom bra pattern" with the t-shirt and very careful placement of the duct tape strips - but there have to be easier things to get off your skin than duct tape on bare skin.

Bet not many of you knew that duct tape was THAT useful in the sewing room!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Suze on January 23, 2009, 06:11:16 PM
I sooo want a "duct tape double"  I NEED to find time with a girlfriend to "tape me up"
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Giggity on January 29, 2009, 08:29:21 AM
I've also read that you CAN make a pretty good substitute for those self stick bra cups to wear under clothes that bras don't work under - but taking it off is murder on your skin - at best it leaves the area rather raw and at worst it could scar.  So it sounds like one of those ideas where someone tried this already and really didn't like the way things turned out.....

That reminds me of something I learned the hard way my first year at Festival: don't use gaff tape to enhance your snoobage. That stuff HURTS coming off.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Giggity on January 29, 2009, 08:32:04 AM
(And now I'm dying to try out a duct tape bra...)

So, like this?

http://pics.killfile.org/events/MardiGras-2003.03.04/img_1167.jpg (http://pics.killfile.org/events/MardiGras-2003.03.04/img_1167.jpg)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: blue2000 on January 29, 2009, 03:16:58 PM
(And now I'm dying to try out a duct tape bra...)

So, like this?

http://pics.killfile.org/events/MardiGras-2003.03.04/img_1167.jpg (http://pics.killfile.org/events/MardiGras-2003.03.04/img_1167.jpg)

Wow!

I was thinking more of the stick-on type, but now I'm tempted to go for a full strapless number.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Suze on January 29, 2009, 03:22:04 PM
Find an old t-shirt -

Make your "bra" on top of that.  Then cut off the t-shirt and trim away what doesn't look like a bra. 

One duct tape bra - with a soft cotton lining
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: blue2000 on January 29, 2009, 04:22:29 PM
That is a neat idea!

Hmmm, you can get lots of different colours of duct tape. I could get quite festive with this....
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Suze on January 29, 2009, 04:39:09 PM
you can make corsets this way as well...  If you put a heavy layer in the front or back (whichever you're going to cut) you can put lacings in it

the ones I have seen are not meant to be a "permant" part of the wardrobe though.

They get beastly hot for one.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Sirius on February 02, 2009, 08:26:39 PM
If you find yourself eggless when you want to cook:

(1)  If you're making salad dressing, you can use mayonnaise.
(2)  If you're making a cake, mayonnaise is nasty.  Don't ask me how I know this.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Seven Ate Nine on February 02, 2009, 09:12:09 PM
Ohhhh! I have lots of these! Forgive any repeats, I didn't get to read the whole thread.

For men: after slicing Jalapenos, do not wash your hnds with just water and then go to the restroom. Use soap!

For both: same as above, but don't rub your eyes!


A friend of mine made a dish with some very hot peppers.  After dinner (and washing his hands at least a dozen times) he went upstairs to... play scrabble with his gf.  Next thing he knew she was in the bathtub screaming obscenities at him.  He now recommends wearing gloves when working with hot peppers.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Seven Ate Nine on February 02, 2009, 09:13:17 PM
I don't recommend duct tape for taping off areas that you don't want paint to get on - the adhesive is too strong.

I've also read that you CAN make a pretty good substitute for those self stick bra cups to wear under clothes that bras don't work under - but taking it off is murder on your skin - at best it leaves the area rather raw and at worst it could scar.  So it sounds like one of those ideas where someone tried this already and really didn't like the way things turned out.....

all you have to do is put the tape on your pants leg or shirt or something and pick up a batch of fuzz.  (the cats do NOT work for this KIDDING- however if you rub the cat on your shirt and then use the tape to pull all the LOOSE hair off....)

you take a lot of stickyness off of the tape, and it can be used for "soft taping"

Suze - not a duct tape freek - noooooo

According to one of my old dance teachers you make a duct tape bra by first wrapping yourself with the tape sticky side out, then using another layer sticky side in.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: veraobsession on February 02, 2009, 09:28:42 PM
Do not try to stop quickly on your dad steps from his deck to the ground when they are covered in ice.

If I didn't think I might get kicked off here for showing a picture of my very bruised and broken behind, I would.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Suze on February 03, 2009, 05:25:01 AM
Is it sad that when I almost went head over heals on the ice the other day I thought about - that I was going to have to post to this thread.....
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: bopper on March 02, 2009, 02:03:03 PM
Bump!  We need more stories!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Dindrane on March 02, 2009, 03:58:57 PM
When you're making sticky rice, and the ultimate goal is to fill something else with said rice, don't stick your hand into the bowl while the rice is still hot.  It, you know, sticks.

I did that when I was about 8, while helping my aunt make something.  She felt really horrible that she hadn't warned me, but I was the idiot who didn't connect "just finished cooking" with "hot" and "sticky."

Also, if you ever encounter one of those neat glass-topped electric ranges (that has a smooth top with circles to show you where the burners are), you should try your hardest to remember that they take just as long to cool as regular electric range burners.  So if you spill something on the range, and you need to wipe it up, use something more substantial than a Clorox wipe.

But on the other hand, frozen peas make an excellent ice pack if you've forgotten that electric burners stay hot for a long time, no matter how pretty they are.

And finally, if you're cooking at a friend's house, and you see a label on the burner dial that doesn't make sense to you, don't make assumptions.  It's perfectly understandable if you don't know how to work a gas range if you've never used one before (especially if your friend forgot about that and didn't tell you), but you shouldn't assume that "lite" just means really low heat.  If you do make assumptions about an unfamiliar stove, don't be surprised when your friend laughs her head off that you've been stirring broccoli for ten minutes without it cooking any, because you never actually turned the burner on.

(But it's a good thing I caught my friend relatively quickly - the burner was, of course, producing gas.)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Pinky830 on March 02, 2009, 04:22:23 PM

Also, if you ever encounter one of those neat glass-topped electric ranges (that has a smooth top with circles to show you where the burners are), you should try your hardest to remember that they take just as long to cool as regular electric range burners.  So if you spill something on the range, and you need to wipe it up, use something more substantial than a Clorox wipe.


*sighs deeply*

I have one of those. I love it. I know, everyone says gas is so much better, but I've never had a gas stove and I don't like the idea of dealing with open flames. Anyway, back to point...

Don't slam a cast-iron skillet onto said stove, even without *that* much force, when your kids have pushed your buttons for the last time. The glass is fragile, who knew? And the replacement top costs $280. And the CSR at Jenn-Air is a snarky jerk. And they're on backorder.

*sighs again*
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Pinky830 on March 02, 2009, 04:25:15 PM
And speaking of gas, DH and I were enjoying a romantic cuddle the other night. He started a fire in the gas logs and we sat on the hearth sipping our house rum specialty. After several minutes he got up to get something, made a startled motion, turned around to me and said deadpan, "What do you think? Should I open the flue?"

The whole upper part of the room reeked of gas fumes, and we hadn't smelled it yet because we were sitting so low...sheesh...
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: MrsJWine on March 02, 2009, 04:39:35 PM
The gas stove one reminded me of something:

If you have a crotchety old gas stove that you need to light with a match because the pilot light no longer works, make sure you long, golden locks aren't dangling over the burner when you lean over to ignite the burner.  The bonus is that you long, golden locks make a really neat whumpffffisssss noise as they go up in flames.  In middle school I had a really short piece of hair hanging around my face for a while.  As if I weren't already a big enough dork.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Dindrane on March 02, 2009, 05:23:06 PM

Also, if you ever encounter one of those neat glass-topped electric ranges (that has a smooth top with circles to show you where the burners are), you should try your hardest to remember that they take just as long to cool as regular electric range burners.  So if you spill something on the range, and you need to wipe it up, use something more substantial than a Clorox wipe.


*sighs deeply*

I have one of those. I love it. I know, everyone says gas is so much better, but I've never had a gas stove and I don't like the idea of dealing with open flames. Anyway, back to point...

I will happily deal with the open flames of a gas stove if it means that I don't keep burning myself on heating elements.  At least fire registers in my head as "hot! don't touch!"  Many other things that are equally hot simply don't.

At least my electric stove has those plug in heating elements that look like they're probably hot.  But I would be so very happy if I could have a gas range again.  They're not as scary when you grow up with them...especially if you never lit your hair on fire like MrsJWine. ;)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: blue2000 on March 02, 2009, 05:35:46 PM
You don't need a stove for that. I've done it with a candle.

(My hair is dark, and it was layered and frizzy at the time. You couldn't tell a piece was burnt. It ALL looked burnt.)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: kitkatswing on March 02, 2009, 05:48:24 PM
If you have been riding motorbikes for a really long time, its still NOT a good idea if you are a pillion to get off on the right hand side...

Short pants + VERY hot pipe = sever burn on leg, still bearing that scar......
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: readingchick on March 02, 2009, 08:04:57 PM
It is not a good idea to navigate a staircase in the dark. I did it once, thought I was on the last step, turned out I wasn't.....ended up spraining my ankle. To add insult to injury it happened before my mother, grandmother and I left for the first day of the Vera Bradley outlet sale....but what the hey, at least I got me a cool mini backpack (it came in real handy as I wound up being on crutches for about a week.....)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: geordicat on March 02, 2009, 08:38:35 PM
Don't try to go through the large turnstile type gates while holding your purse behind you.  Your purse with the big handles.  The handles that get stuck on things, like the metal parts of the turnstile. 

Especially don't do this while you are trying to rush your way through the turnstile because it's cold and raining and you want to get inside.

Picking up your belongings from the dark parking lot in the rain and no lights is not fun.  Oh yea, I have a flashlight in my purse... um but it spilled out when the turnstile snapped back and yanked my purse out of my hands and flung it backwards, so I had to go back OUT and pick up stuff.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Nimblicity on March 03, 2009, 02:39:42 AM
If you have been riding motorbikes for a really long time, its still NOT a good idea if you are a pillion to get off on the right hand side...

Short pants + VERY hot pipe = sever burn on leg, still bearing that scar......

Hey, I have that scar too!  Two, actually, on my right calf, from the parallel exhaust pipes.  It's been almost five years now though and they've faded quite a bit.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: zoidberg on March 03, 2009, 06:40:49 AM
If your toaster is directly behind your electric kettle, don't reach over it to get your toast at the precise moment your water is boiling. Yes, steam *is* that hot.

The skin on my arm turned red, then black and then fell off.  :o
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: geordicat on March 03, 2009, 07:35:20 AM
If your toaster is directly behind your electric kettle, don't reach over it to get your toast at the precise moment your water is boiling. Yes, steam *is* that hot.

The skin on my arm turned red, then black and then fell off.  :o

But did you burn the toast?  ;)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: kisu on March 03, 2009, 07:44:58 AM
If you have long, fine hair, don't borrow the velcro curlers your friend uses for her short, coarse hair. It takes about 60 minutes to get three curlers out, and your hair will look like a bird's nest for a week after. Don't ask me how I know.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: mechtilde on March 03, 2009, 07:46:44 AM
If you have long, fine hair, don't borrow the velcro curlers your friend uses for her short, coarse hair. It takes about 60 minutes to get three curlers out, and your hair will look like a bird's nest for a week after. Don't ask me how I know.

Oh that. Don't ask me how I know about that either. The memory is too painful.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: zoidberg on March 03, 2009, 07:48:22 AM
If your toaster is directly behind your electric kettle, don't reach over it to get your toast at the precise moment your water is boiling. Yes, steam *is* that hot.

The skin on my arm turned red, then black and then fell off.  :o

But did you burn the toast?  ;)

 ;D Nah, it came out perfect, but I immediately dropped it on my nasty kitchen floor when I registered that steam = hot, hot, burning, ouch.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Miss Vertigo on March 04, 2009, 05:18:04 AM
When you're making sticky rice, and the ultimate goal is to fill something else with said rice, don't stick your hand into the bowl while the rice is still hot.  It, you know, sticks.

Oh yeah, don't do that.

Also, when you're just about to eat some soup that's all lovely and steaming having just.that.second come out of the microwave, and you rest the spoon in the bowl to carry it into the living room, and the spoon slips all the way into the soup, don't dip your fingers in to dig it out.

Furthermore, ten seconds later, when you do it again with your new spoon, the soup will still be just as hot as it was when you dug out the previous one.

*headdesk*
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: purplemuse on March 13, 2009, 07:47:21 AM
Don't "experiment" with static electricity by rubbing your hair against a fuzzy pillow for... don't know how long... it was a while anyway.  All I know is that it took even longer for Mom to get my hair to lie flat again (part static, part matting).

On further reflection, perhaps this is why I never had a chemistry set as a child...
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: a clever screenname on March 13, 2009, 11:25:00 AM
Should you run out of dishpowder/detergent for your automatic dishwasher, do not substitute with the liquid dish soap you use for handwashing. My cats were fascinated by the foam that was creeping across my kitchen floor that day.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: MrsJWine on March 13, 2009, 11:31:47 AM
At 6:30 in the morning, after you've gotten your cereal ready, don't put the milk in the cupboard and the cereal in the fridge.  Especially if you're going to be gone all day and not discover your error until it's waaaay too late to save that jug of milk.

I can't even tell you how many times I've done this.  Especially during finals week.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: hobish on March 13, 2009, 11:46:55 AM
If you have been riding motorbikes for a really long time, its still NOT a good idea if you are a pillion to get off on the right hand side...

Short pants + VERY hot pipe = sever burn on leg, still bearing that scar......

Hey, I have that scar too!  Two, actually, on my right calf, from the parallel exhaust pipes.  It's been almost five years now though and they've faded quite a bit.

Ha ha! I have that scar, too, on my right calf. I ought to have known better than to have been on a bike in shorts. I chalk it up to a souvenir of being young & stupid.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: RedRuby on March 13, 2009, 01:52:28 PM
At 6:30 in the morning, after you've gotten your cereal ready, don't put the milk in the cupboard and the cereal in the fridge.  Especially if you're going to be gone all day and not discover your error until it's waaaay too late to save that jug of milk.

I can't even tell you how many times I've done this.  Especially during finals week.

Good advice! When my sister's daughter was only a few weeks old, my sister (in her sleep-deprivation fog) absentmindedly poured scalding hot coffee fresh from the pot on to her cereal then proceeded to put a bit spoonful of cereal in to her mouth. She repeated that with orange juice a few days later.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: dawbs on March 13, 2009, 06:25:20 PM
At 6:30 in the morning, after you've gotten your cereal ready, don't put the milk in the cupboard and the cereal in the fridge.  Especially if you're going to be gone all day and not discover your error until it's waaaay too late to save that jug of milk.

I can't even tell you how many times I've done this.  Especially during finals week.

Good advice! When my sister's daughter was only a few weeks old, my sister (in her sleep-deprivation fog) absentmindedly poured scalding hot coffee fresh from the pot on to her cereal then proceeded to put a bit spoonful of cereal in to her mouth. She repeated that with orange juice a few days later.

I suppose this sorta explains why I found my yogurt next to the fax machine and my pen in the fridge this morning at work?
 :-[
I think I need a day off.  or 10.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: purplemuse on March 14, 2009, 07:01:58 AM
At 6:30 in the morning, after you've gotten your cereal ready, don't put the milk in the cupboard and the cereal in the fridge.  Especially if you're going to be gone all day and not discover your error until it's waaaay too late to save that jug of milk.

I can't even tell you how many times I've done this.  Especially during finals week.

Good advice! When my sister's daughter was only a few weeks old, my sister (in her sleep-deprivation fog) absentmindedly poured scalding hot coffee fresh from the pot on to her cereal then proceeded to put a bit spoonful of cereal in to her mouth. She repeated that with orange juice a few days later.

I make DH's lunch for him sometimes-- one morning, he was lucky to leave for work with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, rather than peanut butter and ketchup, which was the first thing I pulled out of the fridge.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Black Delphinium on March 14, 2009, 10:50:18 AM
I can't remember if I've said this before, but take out your contacts before you floss....mint in the eye hurts.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Trillias on March 17, 2009, 10:57:20 AM
My former roommate is eternally grateful to me that I didn't tell this story in my toast at her wedding...

She wanted to make fresh salsa, and we didn't have a food processor to chop the cilantro. So she used the blender. And was using the pulse button and pushing the chopped herbs back down into the blades as they stopped each pulse. With her fingers. I walked in and saw this, opened my mouth to suggest that she use a wooden spoon for that when the inevitable occurred.
 :o
To her credit she grabbed a towel, wrapped it around her fingers, sat on the floor with her hands over her head, and screamed "911 911 911" over and over until I had the phone in my hand and was speaking to the dispatcher while putting pressure on her fingers myself. Then I got to unplug the blender and look for fingertip pieces...fortunately she hadn't lost any, just a very very deep slice.  

Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: geordicat on March 17, 2009, 11:23:43 AM
My former roommate is eternally grateful to me that I didn't tell this story in my toast at her wedding...

She wanted to make fresh salsa, and we didn't have a food processor to chop the cilantro. So she used the blender. And was using the pulse button and pushing the chopped herbs back down into the blades as they stopped each pulse. With her fingers. I walked in and saw this, opened my mouth to suggest that she use a wooden spoon for that when the inevitable occurred.
 :o
To her credit she grabbed a towel, wrapped it around her fingers, sat on the floor with her hands over her head, and screamed "911 911 911" over and over until I had the phone in my hand and was speaking to the dispatcher while putting pressure on her fingers myself. Then I got to unplug the blender and look for fingertip pieces...fortunately she hadn't lost any, just a very very deep slice.  




Wow was she lucky!!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Giggity on March 17, 2009, 11:28:52 AM
I can't remember if I've said this before, but take out your contacts before you floss....mint in the eye hurts.

I suspect the larger issue here is that your education has been neglected. Someone should have taught you that one does not floss one's eyeballs.  >:D

Oh, wait, you mean the mint gets on your fingers ... never mind. /rosanna rosanna-danna
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Animala on March 17, 2009, 06:02:06 PM
I can't remember if I've said this before, but take out your contacts before you floss....mint in the eye hurts.

I suspect the larger issue here is that your education has been neglected. Someone should have taught you that one does not floss one's eyeballs.  >:D

Oh, wait, you mean the mint gets on your fingers ... never mind. /rosanna rosanna-danna
ROFL!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Suze on March 17, 2009, 06:25:19 PM
for what it is worth

Never Mind --- is Emily Latello's tag line

It just goes to show you, it's always something -- was Roseanne Rosanna-Danna's

both played by Gilda Radner though
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: snowfire on March 18, 2009, 01:18:25 AM
For all that is holy, don't chop jalepeno peppers, then take out your contacts, or even get your hands anywhere NEAR your eyes!!!! :o :o :o

Don't ask me how I know. :-[ ;D
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: petal on March 18, 2009, 06:23:38 AM
dont check the time on your watch  while ironing

i still have the scar  20 years later   ;D



when i was 7 i  wondered how the toilet lightbulb worked so i stuck my finger in the socket while the light was still on.
i didnt tell mum what i'd done till i was over 30   ;D


Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: petal on March 18, 2009, 06:26:19 AM
just remembered another one


just because youre hungry  and they taste nice  do NOT eat 6 kiwi fruit.
i ended up stuck in the smallest room in the house for a whole day.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: caslyn on March 18, 2009, 07:14:20 AM
Don't on any account leave a curious nine-month old and an open tub of Sudocrem (white nappy rash cream) in the room by themselves for any length of time. Not even if you're just running to get the phone in the next room and you'll only be ten seconds.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: sooverit on March 18, 2009, 07:23:46 AM
For all that is holy, don't chop jalepeno peppers, then take out your contacts, or even get your hands anywhere NEAR your eyes!!!! :o :o :o

Don't ask me how I know. :-[ ;D

Also don't scratch the inside of your nose... but if you do happen to you should dip a washcloth in milk and stick it up there.  Not that I'VE EVER had to do that... I was just curious about what to do if that ever happened to me... ::)

Also if you take the last piece of gum from your pack, make sure you throw out the wrapper and put the gum in your mouth.  Do not throw out the gum and put the wrapper in your mouth. 
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: CG on March 18, 2009, 07:43:13 AM
For all that is holy, don't chop jalepeno peppers, then take out your contacts, or even get your hands anywhere NEAR your eyes!!!! :o :o :o

Don't ask me how I know. :-[ ;D

Habaneros are even more fun.

Wear gloves. Don't touch ANYTHING until you've removed gloves and scrubbed good with soap and hot water.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: purplemuse on March 20, 2009, 09:18:42 AM
Don't eat:

-the cake batter left in the bowl and
-the leftover frosting and
-a piece of the frosted cake you've just made

in the space of 2 hours.

I ended up lying on the bed, asking DH to "make the ceiling stop moving."
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: MrsJWine on March 20, 2009, 09:51:14 AM
When you're pregnant and experiencing food aversions, and the only two things you can stomach that day are pickles (with the juice) and milk, don't for the love of all this is holy and good eat them in succession.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: KimberlyM on March 20, 2009, 10:12:31 AM
When you're pregnant and experiencing food aversions, and the only two things you can stomach that day are pickles (with the juice) and milk, don't for the love of all this is holy and good eat them in succession.

The same goes for chocolate milk and orange juice.  ughh.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: MrsJWine on March 20, 2009, 10:14:00 AM
KimberlyM, I love your sig picture.  What a cute little peanut!  Or a big peanut, I guess, at 10+ pounds.  :)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Animala on March 20, 2009, 10:16:42 AM
I think habenaro peppers have been in here more than any other thing.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: KimberlyM on March 20, 2009, 10:17:01 AM
Thank you!  The doctor at the hospital called him a perfectly healthy 2month old the day after he was born  ::)
He has the exact same jammies yours is wearing in your pic (which is adorable BTW!)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: VorFemme on March 20, 2009, 10:46:04 AM
If you have a pill that says to take it with food or milk - never, ever down a glass of orange juice because "that's food".  DH didn't dare drink milk after the orange juice so he was looking for crackers or bread in a hurry.  Big time bellyache and the last time he considered orange juice a substitute for milk when taking pills.

Memorable lesson though.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: hermanne on March 20, 2009, 12:52:30 PM
When you're pregnant and experiencing food aversions, and the only two things you can stomach that day are pickles (with the juice) and milk, don't for the love of all this is holy and good eat them in succession.

The same goes for chocolate milk and orange juice.  ughh.

Or pickles and orange juice for breakfast, because at the time "it's what I want!"
It was the first of only two times I threw up while pregnant with DD. :P
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Reika on March 20, 2009, 01:23:33 PM
Unfortunately the thread has since been removed, but a friend of mine belonged to a message board for trucks and SUVs. One of the men on the board posted about how he was putting down a new lining in his truck bed. Feeling the need to pee, he didn't think about the stuff that was still on his hands, stuff that wasn't fully try yet.

He ended up going to the hospital to get the stuff removed, he was firmly convinced he um, inadverntantly castrating himself. Fortunately the doctors were able to get the stuff off, but he was in pain for quite some time.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: SiderisAnon on March 26, 2009, 06:23:23 AM
Speaking of various forms of peppers and such spicy food:  Never, ever, ever decide to create your own dish that involves boiling a substance that includes tons of hot sauce.  Also never walk away from same.

I had a roommate do this.  Great guy, very dangerous in the kitchen.  He basically created mace and gassed the whole apartment.  My gf at the time got a nose bleed.  We had to open everything up and get fans running to even breathe in the apartment.

It honestly never occurred to him that it wasn't a good idea.   :o


I can think of several "don't do that" things from my past, but I'm afraid most of them sound too cynical, so I'll just leave it at the mace cooking. :)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Gyburc on March 26, 2009, 07:57:50 AM
If you are holding a drinks party - let's say, for the church choir and their families - and have put out lots of little bowls full of peanuts, crisps and other nibbles...

... it's probably best to remove the small bowl of pot-pourri from among them before someone samples it...


Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Pinky830 on March 26, 2009, 10:45:26 AM
when making coffee, it really does work better if the pot is in the coffeemaker and not still in the dishwasher.

yeah, it's been that kind of morning around here...
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: SiderisAnon on March 26, 2009, 01:29:48 PM
when making coffee, it really does work better if the pot is in the coffeemaker and not still in the dishwasher.

yeah, it's been that kind of morning around here...

This reminds me of a work version of bad coffeemaker idea:  Don't tell the one guy in the office who doesn't drink coffee to make coffee for the client.  Especially when he tells you flat out that he doesn't drink coffee, hasn't made coffee since childhood, and has no idea how to work the coffee machine.  I have no idea what I did wrong, but it was apparently the worst coffee ever. 

Yes, I can build a computer from component parts, but that doesn't mean I know how to work the coffeemaker.  Sorry.   ???
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: VorFemme on March 26, 2009, 05:40:57 PM

This reminds me of a work version of bad coffeemaker idea:  Don't tell the one guy in the office who doesn't drink coffee to make coffee for the client.  Especially when he tells you flat out that he doesn't drink coffee, hasn't made coffee since childhood, and has no idea how to work the coffee machine.  I have no idea what I did wrong, but it was apparently the worst coffee ever. 

Yes, I can build a computer from component parts, but that doesn't mean I know how to work the coffeemaker.  Sorry.   ???

I had that happen in my first Air Force assignment - after the first sip, the commander ordered me to stay away from the coffee maker and put his EXPERIENCED secretary back in charge of the equipment.

 >:D

I had been a waitress and MADE coffee at a couple of places........but that day with that machine - I didn't figure it out.   Thirty (well, it will be in November) years later, I don't drink coffee but I make it for the DH five mornings a week............and he likes how it turns out!

I drank hot tea then and I drink hot tea now.  Need someone to work as a liaison to a company in the UK? 
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: readingchick on March 26, 2009, 06:44:43 PM
Unfortunately the thread has since been removed, but a friend of mine belonged to a message board for trucks and SUVs. One of the men on the board posted about how he was putting down a new lining in his truck bed. Feeling the need to pee, he didn't think about the stuff that was still on his hands, stuff that wasn't fully try yet.

He ended up going to the hospital to get the stuff removed, he was firmly convinced he um, inadverntantly castrating himself. Fortunately the doctors were able to get the stuff off, but he was in pain for quite some time.

Geez Louise, this made me wince and I don't even have the necessary parts!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Bluenomi on March 26, 2009, 08:13:53 PM
I'm only up to page 3 of this thread and I can tell you something I have learnt not to do: read this thread at work.

Oh dear, people are wondering why I'm sitting at my desk shaking with tears running down my face. I'm laughing so hard no sound is coming out!

One of my own: Don't add bubble bath to a spa bath. Turns out the water moving makes it really bubbly!

Must wait until I get home to read the rest of this....
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Seraphia on March 29, 2009, 12:27:32 PM
This is handy! I'm dyeing my hair red today.

Oh, and another thing. Don't check the time on your watch while holding a beverage in that hand. Don't know how many times I've done/almost done that.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: zoidberg on March 31, 2009, 08:34:48 AM
This is handy! I'm dyeing my hair red today.

Oh, and another thing. Don't check the time on your watch while holding a beverage in that hand. Don't know how many times I've done/almost done that.

Also, don't try to take something out of your handbag while you're hilding a beverage in your hand. I poured a whole glass of white wine into my bag while amusing several witnesses who haven't let me live that one down. Luckily, this was before mobile phones, so the only thing I ruined were my cigarettes.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: MrsJWine on March 31, 2009, 09:47:27 AM
when making coffee, it really does work better if the pot is in the coffeemaker and not still in the dishwasher.

yeah, it's been that kind of morning around here...

On that note:

It also works better if you put the water in the reservoir and the grounds in the basket, not the other way around.

Yeah, I've done that at least three times.  Do you know how hard it is to completely clean out the innards of a coffee maker?
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Hushabye on March 31, 2009, 10:52:37 AM
When you're making chili, and the recipe calls for a certain amount of chili powder and a certain, much smaller amount of ground red pepper, make sure that you grab the right red bottle of spices.  1/3 cup of red pepper is a *bit* much for one pound of ground turkey and the accompanying chili ingredients when the recipe calls for 1/3 teaspoon. 

Also, if you *are* going to substitute dishwashing liquid for dishwasher liquid, at least make sure you have a mop to take care of the mess.  Or more than four towels.  Four towels will not be enough to clean up the mess.  Trust me.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: sooverit on April 01, 2009, 10:35:53 AM
Just thought of some more:

(from my mom) When making apple pie- don't mix up the cinnamon and the chili powder...  (this was back when spices were in an aluminum can without much markings) You will literally get a 'hot' apple pie!

(from me) if you accidentally spill an entire gallon of iced tea- don't panic and throw a single paper towel over the giant puddle!!!  It will not help much at all...
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: MrsJWine on April 01, 2009, 10:42:51 AM
This occurred to me rather suddenly yesterday.  And by "suddenly" I mean "painfully".

When using a mandolin to slice onions, don't forgo the food holder just because it's easier to slice without it.  Your thumb won't be very forgiving.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: VorFemme on April 01, 2009, 12:19:52 PM
Blood is so not my favorite salad dressing.......and cutting into your finger with a knife that was just been slicing onions is also going to make you wish you'd done that differently, too.

Lemons sting just as badly if not worse.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: MrsJWine on April 01, 2009, 01:40:51 PM
Blood is so not my favorite salad dressing.......and cutting into your finger with a knife that was just been slicing onions is also going to make you wish you'd done that differently, too.

Lemons sting just as badly if not worse.

Peppers.  Oh my.  That episode still haunts my dreams.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Lady Snowdon on April 02, 2009, 10:54:04 AM
Not related to food at all...

When using a hedge trimmer to trim bushes down near knee level, do not let your mind wander!  It can lead to things like stepping forward before you've moved the hedge trimmer, and that leads to visits to the UR.  Not that I've ever done this or anything...   ::)   No, I don't have scars on my knee...what makes you say that?   :P

Also, if someone tells you that lots of people are allergic to a certain type of plant, don't respond with "I'm not allergic to anything!" and proceed to pick up two armfuls of said plant trimmings.  It's not an especially pleasant way to find out that yes, you are allergic to something.  (the plants are poison sumac...should have guessed from the name, right?  and dogwood)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: caslyn on April 02, 2009, 11:22:21 AM
This occurred to me rather suddenly yesterday.  And by "suddenly" I mean "painfully".

When using a mandolin to slice onions, don't forgo the food holder just because it's easier to slice without it.  Your thumb won't be very forgiving.

I'd like to add in that this should be extended to courgettes, cucumbers, carrots (why yes, I can be slow on learning things sometimes) . . .

And when your shirtless husband sees the blood and starts to go out the door to the corner shop to get plasters, it's maybe not the best time to start arguing with him about why you can't go to the shop if you're not wearing a shirt.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Miss Vertigo on April 02, 2009, 11:50:29 AM

One of my own: Don't add bubble bath to a spa bath. Turns out the water moving makes it really bubbly!

Oh yeah, also, when you discover you've run out of dishwasher tablets, don't look at the bottle of washing up liquid, think 'That cleans dishes, that'll do', squirt a bit in the compartment where the tablet should have gone, then go away and leave your dishwasher running. Really, don't. My entire kitchen looked as if it was foaming at the mouth.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: MrsO on April 02, 2009, 11:59:29 AM

One of my own: Don't add bubble bath to a spa bath. Turns out the water moving makes it really bubbly!

Oh yeah, also, when you discover you've run out of dishwasher tablets, don't look at the bottle of washing up liquid, think 'That cleans dishes, that'll do', squirt a bit in the compartment where the tablet should have gone, then go away and leave your dishwasher running. Really, don't. My entire kitchen looked as if it was foaming at the mouth.
Ha! I've done this.
On a related note, don't wash your dishes with washing powder (for clothes), because 'they're both soap'. Your dishes will smell, and taste, like a Summer Meadow.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Schmoopie3928 on April 02, 2009, 12:17:40 PM
One of my own: Don't add bubble bath to a spa bath. Turns out the water moving makes it really bubbly!



Yeah and when the bubbles are mounded up 2 feet over the edge like a fun mountain, don't go ahead and sit down. It looks like fun, but breathing in a face full bubbles is no fun. Especially when your hands are covered in bubbles as well!

Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Miss Vertigo on April 02, 2009, 12:29:55 PM

One of my own: Don't add bubble bath to a spa bath. Turns out the water moving makes it really bubbly!

Oh yeah, also, when you discover you've run out of dishwasher tablets, don't look at the bottle of washing up liquid, think 'That cleans dishes, that'll do', squirt a bit in the compartment where the tablet should have gone, then go away and leave your dishwasher running. Really, don't. My entire kitchen looked as if it was foaming at the mouth.
Ha! I've done this.
On a related note, don't wash your dishes with washing powder (for clothes), because 'they're both soap'. Your dishes will smell, and taste, like a Summer Meadow.

tea-->screen  ;D ;D ;D

You know, cleaning products should be interchangeable, just for people like us. I think they missed a trick there. *nods earnestly*
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Pinky830 on April 02, 2009, 01:14:49 PM
One of my own: Don't add bubble bath to a spa bath. Turns out the water moving makes it really bubbly!



Yeah and when the bubbles are mounded up 2 feet over the edge like a fun mountain, don't go ahead and sit down. It looks like fun, but breathing in a face full bubbles is no fun. Especially when your hands are covered in bubbles as well!



DH went through a phase of letting the kids take bubble baths in our jet tub anytime I wasn't home and he was putting the kids to bed. It was SO annoying to find that mess in our bathroom a couple of times a week.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: The Opinionator on April 02, 2009, 01:35:45 PM
Don't forget to remove hands completely before shutting car doors(or any doors for that matter). It will hurt, swell and bruise.

Anyone want to guess who has a completely unusable thumb today? *headdesk*
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: thebeckster on April 02, 2009, 04:04:37 PM
Don't leave that vanilla and cinnamon sugar hand scrub with a sppon in it sitting in the kitchen while the girls do a "spa day" in the dining room, or DO tell your BIL it isn't something edible.

On a lighter note, he had very clean teeth and a cheap drunk. (He got very goofy)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: CG on April 02, 2009, 05:25:57 PM

One of my own: Don't add bubble bath to a spa bath. Turns out the water moving makes it really bubbly!

Oh yeah, also, when you discover you've run out of dishwasher tablets, don't look at the bottle of washing up liquid, think 'That cleans dishes, that'll do', squirt a bit in the compartment where the tablet should have gone, then go away and leave your dishwasher running. Really, don't. My entire kitchen looked as if it was foaming at the mouth.
Ha! I've done this.
On a related note, don't wash your dishes with washing powder (for clothes), because 'they're both soap'. Your dishes will smell, and taste, like a Summer Meadow.

tea-->screen  ;D ;D ;D

You know, cleaning products should be interchangeable, just for people like us. I think they missed a trick there. *nods earnestly*

They do make ones that are mostly interchangable. Washing soda, borax, vinegar...

If they made commercial ones that were interchangable, they wouldn't be able to sell people 25 different kinds of cleaners for their homes...
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: MightyMouse on April 03, 2009, 02:23:31 AM
Never accidentally cut off a wheelchair.  Your foot will be run over and it leaves a very large bruise.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Joeschmo on April 03, 2009, 02:46:23 AM
Don't forget to remove hands completely before shutting car doors(or any doors for that matter). It will hurt, swell and bruise.

Anyone want to guess who has a completely unusable thumb today? *headdesk*


I haven't read the whole thread but assume that it is just me who has done this...more than once.  Don't forget to get your head completely in the car before you shut the door.  Try explaining the large bruise across your neck by telling people you slammed your own head in your own car door.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Miss Vertigo on April 03, 2009, 02:56:56 AM
Don't forget to remove hands completely before shutting car doors(or any doors for that matter). It will hurt, swell and bruise.

Anyone want to guess who has a completely unusable thumb today? *headdesk*


I haven't read the whole thread but assume that it is just me who has done this...more than once.  Don't forget to get your head completely in the car before you shut the door.  Try explaining the large bruise across your neck by telling people you slammed your own head in your own car door.

I slammed my own nose in the car door once.

To this day I have no idea how. I think I'd been leaning down to get something off the passenger seat, came back up and shut the door too soon.

It really hurts.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: zoidberg on April 03, 2009, 03:04:43 AM
This just in:

If you're in the process of filling up the coffee maker with coffee beans, don't stop and ask a coworker about something important. You might end up filling the water container with beans, which will mean a 10 minute clean up job, nearly half a pound of ruined coffee beans and a very flustered you. Hey, I hadn't had my coffee yet.  ::)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Pinky830 on April 03, 2009, 08:30:58 AM
Don't forget to remove hands completely before shutting car doors(or any doors for that matter). It will hurt, swell and bruise.

Anyone want to guess who has a completely unusable thumb today? *headdesk*


I haven't read the whole thread but assume that it is just me who has done this...more than once.  Don't forget to get your head completely in the car before you shut the door.  Try explaining the large bruise across your neck by telling people you slammed your own head in your own car door.

I slammed my own nose in the car door once.

To this day I have no idea how. I think I'd been leaning down to get something off the passenger seat, came back up and shut the door too soon.

It really hurts.

Two different times in my life, I have hit my cheekbone on the corner of the car door when I leaned into the car. It makes a very black and suspicious-looking bruise, and then when people ask you what happened all you got is, "I ran into the door."
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: The Opinionator on April 03, 2009, 02:21:03 PM
BTDT, got that t-shirt bruise.

That's why I have to stay away from cars. At least I can almost use my thumb now  :P
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: caslyn on April 03, 2009, 02:52:10 PM
I'm going to request planning permission for a padded room section of ehell. . .
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: M-theory on April 04, 2009, 09:17:35 PM
Eye makeup remover is for eye makeup.
Sea-Breeze is for face makeup.
Some lessons are best learned through negative reinforcement.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Mimmy on April 05, 2009, 03:03:57 PM
Eye makeup remover is for eye makeup.
Sea-Breeze is for face makeup.
Some lessons are best learned through negative reinforcement.

Ouch! I'm in pain just thinking about that ...
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: MrsO on April 05, 2009, 03:07:05 PM
New one i learned today: Don't take a hot pyrex dish out of the oven with a wet tea towel. Wet tea towels aren't heat-proof. I have the blisters to prove it.

Also, furniture polish doesn't kill ants if you spray it into the hole where you think the nest is! It just makes alot of pissed-off ants swarm out of the hole.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Hexteacher on April 05, 2009, 05:16:59 PM
Ok a couple more for you.

1)  Having freshly sharpened that 6 inch Sabatier knife, do make sure that you look at what you are cutting.  (Thumb has just about healed)

2) The correct proceedure is put in contact lenses, wash hands, cut fresh chillies for dip............

Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Seven Ate Nine on April 05, 2009, 07:53:00 PM
When starting the gas grill and the igniter doesn't work: do not turn on burners, try to light lighter, fail, try again, fail, light match, stick into lighter spot.  The propane will have been building up and there will be a big *whoosh* and a "fireball."  My hair is singed.  For those who watch Mythbusters, "Am I missing an eyebrow?"

The hubby is now in charge of lighting the grill.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: MrsJWine on April 05, 2009, 08:12:03 PM
I just remembered one from about ten years ago:  When a customer holds up his (clean) fork with a bent tine, don't try to be cool and straighten it out bare-handed.  You won't be able to use that thumb properly for months, and you'll still have a scar ten years later.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: bopper on April 08, 2009, 04:00:16 PM
Also, furniture polish doesn't kill ants if you spray it into the hole where you think the nest is! It just makes alot of pissed-off ants swarm out of the hole.

Ya, but at least now you have SHINY pissed-off ants.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: geordicat on April 08, 2009, 04:26:24 PM
Also, furniture polish doesn't kill ants if you spray it into the hole where you think the nest is! It just makes alot of pissed-off ants swarm out of the hole.

Ya, but at least now you have SHINY pissed-off ants.
Lemon scented, too!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: MrsO on April 08, 2009, 04:47:52 PM
Also, furniture polish doesn't kill ants if you spray it into the hole where you think the nest is! It just makes alot of pissed-off ants swarm out of the hole.

Ya, but at least now you have SHINY pissed-off ants.
Lemon scented, too!
Ha! Bopper, that's exactly what my DH said.
And geordicat, actually, they're orange scented.  ;)

Speaking of furniture polsih, I'm not sure if I've posted this before, but don't use furniture polish to clean a wooden floor. Yep, it'll look shiny, but it will be slippy. Verrry slippy.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Slartibartfast on April 08, 2009, 05:08:59 PM
On the subject of ants . . .

Ant spray (bug spray specifically made for ants) attracts ants because it has a bit of sugar in it.  If your dog is as dumb as mine is, do NOT spray ant spray all over the side of your house where the ants are coming in, then leave the back door open.  I wandered back into the living room to discover that my dog had LICKED off all the ant spray (and probably a few ants in the process), then proceeded to yak into thirty-three separate little piles all over the living room.  He was going back out for a second round of licking when I caught him.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: YogaChick on April 08, 2009, 05:14:35 PM
One time, I forgot to put down newspapers before gessoing a canvas in art class.  Needless to say, that was the ONLY time I ever made that mistake.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Clara Bow on April 08, 2009, 05:33:39 PM
Also, furniture polish doesn't kill ants if you spray it into the hole where you think the nest is! It just makes alot of pissed-off ants swarm out of the hole.

Ya, but at least now you have SHINY pissed-off ants.
Lemon scented, too!
Ha! Bopper, that's exactly what my DH said.
And geordicat, actually, they're orange scented.  ;)

Speaking of furniture polsih, I'm not sure if I've posted this before, but don't use furniture polish to clean a wooden floor. Yep, it'll look shiny, but it will be slippy. Verrry slippy.


Oh man, when I was a new wife and just learning to really clean (my mother didn't teach me much) I Pledged the floors for a couple weeks. They looked great, but we kept falling down the stairs.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Black Delphinium on April 08, 2009, 05:37:47 PM
Also, furniture polish doesn't kill ants if you spray it into the hole where you think the nest is! It just makes alot of pissed-off ants swarm out of the hole.

Ya, but at least now you have SHINY pissed-off ants.
Lemon scented, too!
Ha! Bopper, that's exactly what my DH said.
And geordicat, actually, they're orange scented.  ;)

Speaking of furniture polsih, I'm not sure if I've posted this before, but don't use furniture polish to clean a wooden floor. Yep, it'll look shiny, but it will be slippy. Verrry slippy.


Oh man, when I was a new wife and just learning to really clean (my mother didn't teach me much) I Pledged the floors for a couple weeks. They looked great, but we kept falling down the stairs.
Back in college we used to all come out into the hallway in our stocking feet, pledge the floors, then go running down the hall as fast as we could.

So much fun, so many bruises.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: blue2000 on April 08, 2009, 05:51:17 PM
Back in college we used to all come out into the hallway in our stocking feet, pledge the floors, then go running down the hall as fast as we could.

So much fun, so many bruises.

We did that too, till my roommate put her foot down (carefully, of course ;D ).
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: CG on April 08, 2009, 08:23:12 PM
When you are on rollerblades, carefully note the location of all the cactii in the area...and carry a knife to cut your jeans off after you run into them.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Suze on April 08, 2009, 11:09:50 PM
Also, furniture polish doesn't kill ants if you spray it into the hole where you think the nest is! It just makes alot of pissed-off ants swarm out of the hole.

Ya, but at least now you have SHINY pissed-off ants.
Lemon scented, too!

anybody else have a picture of one ant using a shoe polish rag on another ant's butt?  Like a old time shoeshine guy?

It's late I need to go to bed now

StupitSuze is takeing over
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: YogaChick on April 08, 2009, 11:29:00 PM
Ooh, I have another story:  One time, when I was thirteen or so, I got sick of watering the Christmas tree (this was around Christmas time), so I "invented" an intravenous tree watering system.  I made this so-called "brilliant" device out of drinking straws, Scotch tape, and a Ziploc bag, and let's just say, it ended badly......water ALL over the floor.  After that little adventure, I decided that the traditional method of watering the Christmas tree was better after all.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: SiderisAnon on April 09, 2009, 06:28:56 AM
Also, furniture polish doesn't kill ants if you spray it into the hole where you think the nest is! It just makes alot of pissed-off ants swarm out of the hole.

Ya, but at least now you have SHINY pissed-off ants.

*laugh*  I think you need to repost this in the funny quote thread.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: sooverit on April 09, 2009, 08:16:40 AM
When you are on rollerblades, carefully note the location of all the cactii in the area...and carry a knife to cut your jeans off after you run into them.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA!  Ok this is a good lesson because i'm a good roller/ice skater but I don't know how to stop.  Not that I would ever be ice skating near a cactus...  but hey- you never know!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Miss Vertigo on April 09, 2009, 08:41:17 AM
Speaking of furniture polsih, I'm not sure if I've posted this before, but don't use furniture polish to clean a wooden floor. Yep, it'll look shiny, but it will be slippy. Verrry slippy.

*raises hand sheepishly*

Never cleaned a whole floor with it, but I have attempted to polish the coffee table and, er, missed.

Also, on that subject: If, when planning to polish said coffee table, the cat looks like she's about to take a flying leap onto it from the sofa, let her get it out of her system first. Really.

It wasn't all bad, though; she did earn a 5.8 for the triple salco/pirouette combo. It would have been a 6.0, but the legs were really ungraceful.

 ;D
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: TimeForANap on April 09, 2009, 09:36:17 AM
1.  It's not a good idea to keep the oven cleaner and the furniture polish in the same cabinet.
2.  Especially if both cans are yellow.
3.  If you are going to ignore 1 and 2, then LOOK at the label before you spray it all over your new dining room table.

 >:(
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: MrsO on April 09, 2009, 09:53:25 AM


Also, on that subject: If, when planning to polish said coffee table, the cat looks like she's about to take a flying leap onto it from the sofa, let her get it out of her system first. Really.

It wasn't all bad, though; she did earn a 5.8 for the triple salco/pirouette combo. It would have been a 6.0, but the legs were really ungraceful.

 ;D
LOLLL!  :D What I'd have paid to see that.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Hushabye on April 09, 2009, 10:09:37 AM
Don't put your frozen chicken and uncooked rice in the crockpot at the same time.  Believe me, your rice does not need to cook as long as your chicken and nobody wants rice goop for dinner.

Also, don't plug in the toaster rather than the crockpot, walk away, and wander back into the kitchen an hour later wondering why you don't smell anything yummy percolating away in there.  Dinner does *not* get made that way!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: MrsJWine on April 09, 2009, 10:57:02 AM
Don't put your frozen chicken and uncooked rice in the crockpot at the same time.  Believe me, your rice does not need to cook as long as your chicken and nobody wants rice goop for dinner.

Same goes for broccoli and chicken.   :-X
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Bexx27 on April 09, 2009, 11:52:53 AM
My DH was at my parents' house grazing on a bunch of food that was sitting out on the kitchen counter. He picked up a random crumb, popped it in his mouth, and got a very strange look on his face. I informed him he had just eaten dog food.

Also, when at a restaurant, don't unfold your napkin while holding it directly above the candle...
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: snowfire on April 11, 2009, 10:12:22 PM
If you have a new dog, and are not sure how well he minds when he is on a leash.....Don't take him rollerblading with you.   :o
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: bluhairfreak on April 12, 2009, 06:38:52 PM
Let's just say that eating anything with tabasco sauce when you have severly chapped lips is a bad bad BAD idea.

Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: hobish on April 13, 2009, 11:48:26 AM
If you have a new dog, and are not sure how well he minds when he is on a leash.....Don't take him rollerblading with you.   :o

 :D I learned that one the hard way. It ended after a glorious six feet with me on the ground with a broken finger and bruised pride, and the dog running the neighborhood with her leash clattering along behind her.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Team HoundMom on April 13, 2009, 12:15:50 PM
I haven't read the entire thread so I don't know if this one has been mentioned:

If you go for a run and your muscles are a little shaky afterwards, do NOT shave your legs.  :P
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: YogaChick on April 14, 2009, 12:05:33 AM
Don't put your frozen chicken and uncooked rice in the crockpot at the same time.  Believe me, your rice does not need to cook as long as your chicken and nobody wants rice goop for dinner.

Same goes for broccoli and chicken.   :-X

Ooh, I have one:  Don't try to open a can of pasta with a paring knife, drip it onto the toaster oven pan, and cook it in the toaster oven.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: snowfire on April 14, 2009, 01:21:36 AM
Ooh, I had forgotten one my father told me.  Don't put a metal can in the microwave oven and hit the cook button.  :o  It killed the microwave (shrapnel?) and my father & stepson were cleaning baked beans off the kitchen ceiling, and floors....and counters......
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: petal on April 14, 2009, 03:48:16 AM
as my brother learned many years ago,   dont put a full unopened can of beer in the freezer and forget it.

the beer expands but the can doesnt  ;D
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Suze on April 14, 2009, 03:59:14 AM
as my brother learned many years ago,   dont put a full unopened can of beer in the freezer and forget it.

the beer expands but the can doesnt  ;D


beer-cicle anyone?  Might be refreshing on a really hot day
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: petal on April 14, 2009, 04:30:14 AM
as my brother learned many years ago,   dont put a full unopened can of beer in the freezer and forget it.

the beer expands but the can doesnt  ;D


beer-cicle anyone?  Might be refreshing on a really hot day


alas,  everything else in the freezer tastes like beer too.  Beer steak, beer milk, beer icecream, beer icecubes 
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Suze on April 14, 2009, 04:49:37 AM
you say that like it could be a bad thing.  >giggle<
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: hermanne on April 14, 2009, 12:31:14 PM
as my brother learned many years ago,   dont put a full unopened can of beer in the freezer and forget it.

the beer expands but the can doesnt  ;D

Same goes for a bottle of champagne.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Pinky830 on April 14, 2009, 02:07:03 PM
as my brother learned many years ago,   dont put a full unopened can of beer in the freezer and forget it.

the beer expands but the can doesnt  ;D

Same goes for a bottle of champagne.

And Diet Coke. I've done it so many times DH hears that muffled "boom" in the freezer and knows what it is. He calls them my "depth charges." It doesn't happen much anymore because I finally learned that putting them in a large cup of icewater cools them much faster than the freezer.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: dawbs on April 14, 2009, 03:31:48 PM
as my brother learned many years ago,   dont put a full unopened can of beer in the freezer and forget it.

the beer expands but the can doesnt  ;D

Same goes for a bottle of champagne.

And Diet Coke. I've done it so many times DH hears that muffled "boom" in the freezer and knows what it is. He calls them my "depth charges." It doesn't happen much anymore because I finally learned that putting them in a large cup of icewater cools them much faster than the freezer.

Even faster if you add salt.  (just rinse before you open, so as not to get salt in your coke)
Quote
""That would be about 20-25 minutes in a freezer. If you put it in a bucket of ice, that would halve that time. If you put water in that ice, it'd be cold (+- 5c) enough to drink in about 4-6 minutes, if you put salt in that water, you'd reduce the chill time to just over 2 minutes. Agitating the can in the water, rolling it around, reduces the chill time even more."
http://blog.makezine.com/archive/2006/12/how_long_in_the.html?CMP=OTC-0D6B48984890
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Lady Snowdon on April 14, 2009, 03:59:15 PM
On kitchen topics, it's really not smart to pick up a baking pan that you took out of the oven five minutes ago with your bare hands.  It's even less smart if you happened to put that baking pan down on a still hot burner.  OUCH!

Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Clara Bow on April 14, 2009, 05:21:12 PM
I had a Dutch oven that I always used on the stovetop. It had handles that didn't get hot when the pot was used that way and I got very accustomed to just grabbing it off the stove and going.
Imagine the foul language when I used it in the oven the first time and forgot the potholders when lifting it out....and, ninja that I am, I managed to get it to the stovetop before I dropped it.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: geordicat on April 14, 2009, 07:46:21 PM
After making a batch of turtle brownies and you've just used the *very sharp* chef's knife to open the caramel packets and stir the caramel in because you were too lazy to 1) find the scissors and 2) use a butter knife per the instructions, do not stick the end of the *very sharp* chef's knife in your mouth to lick the batter off.

Bad idea.

Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Ms_Cellany on April 14, 2009, 08:16:40 PM
If you're making flan & have put the melted, caramelized sugar in the ramekins and want to see if it's cool enough to continue....

or....

If you're cooking a butter & flour roux and want to see if the flour has lost the "raw" taste...

Think of the word "napalm."

Think of the words "napalm on your fingertip or your tongue"......

And your science lesson of the day is that the melting point of sugar is 185 F.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: snowfire on April 14, 2009, 10:02:57 PM

And Diet Coke. I've done it so many times DH hears that muffled "boom" in the freezer and knows what it is. He calls them my "depth charges." It doesn't happen much anymore because I finally learned that putting them in a large cup of icewater cools them much faster than the freezer.

Snerk.  Related to this...Don't leave a case of Coke in the car when it is going to get well below freezing temps at night.  :o  It took us a couple of hours to clean the inside of the car.  :-\
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Black Delphinium on April 14, 2009, 10:06:33 PM
Ditto not getting down on your hands and knees searching for that tube of frozen OJ that rolled under the driver's seat.

Luckily, it was warm enough to drive with the windows down for a few weeks while the smell died.

FYI Bad OJ and Febreeze smell awful together.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: M-theory on April 15, 2009, 03:22:59 AM
Ditto not getting down on your hands and knees searching for that tube of frozen OJ that rolled under the driver's seat.

Luckily, it was warm enough to drive with the windows down for a few weeks while the smell died.

FYI Bad OJ and Febreeze smell awful together.

If it helps, new car smell and week-old pineapple juice don't mix well either. ::)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: MrsJWine on April 15, 2009, 10:34:38 AM
Mug o' water fresh out of microwave.  Five minutes' cooling time not enough.  Please trust me on this.  My tongue would like you all to know that it Hurts Very Much.  Even my frenulum hurts.  And now I can't taste my tea.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: JocelynCS on April 15, 2009, 10:46:22 AM
I had made a pot of soup for lunch, and after taking the pot off the stove, knocked a noodle underneath the burner. 

So I reached out and attempted to lift up the heating element so I could reach underneath and pull the noodle out before it started smoking...with my bare hand.

OOOOOOWWWWWWW!!!!!!  Had a lovely blister on my thumb in time for writing a final exam.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Pinky830 on April 15, 2009, 10:56:26 AM
Ditto not getting down on your hands and knees searching for that tube of frozen OJ that rolled under the driver's seat.

Luckily, it was warm enough to drive with the windows down for a few weeks while the smell died.

FYI Bad OJ and Febreeze smell awful together.

I had a yucky smell in my car that started out really faint, but every day it got a little worse. I kept looking for the source, but I finally got way up inside the trunk and found wedged up at the front, basically under the back seat...a gallon of milk. Well, by now it was a gallon of cheese.

Wow. The guys at the car wash scrubbed the carpet with something that got rid of the smell and it never came back. I was pretty lucky.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: shadowfox79 on April 15, 2009, 01:36:42 PM
Ooh, just remembered one.

I went to a Chinese restaurant with my mother. The wait staff brought out a set of warming trays and then went back to get the main courses.

Those warming trays? The metal ones, with the candles underneath them? They're hot.

So it's a REALLY bad idea to tap the tray with your fingertip to see just how hot they are.

Took nearly a month to get rid of that blister.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Camarynne on April 15, 2009, 02:09:56 PM



Oh man, when I was a new wife and just learning to really clean (my mother didn't teach me much) I Pledged the floors for a couple weeks. They looked great, but we kept falling down the stairs.
[/quote]


I DESPERATELY needed that bellylaugh. Thank you thank you thank you so much!!!!!

Erm...hope everyone survived ok, of course.   ;D
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Outdoor Girl on April 15, 2009, 02:14:44 PM

And Diet Coke. I've done it so many times DH hears that muffled "boom" in the freezer and knows what it is. He calls them my "depth charges." It doesn't happen much anymore because I finally learned that putting them in a large cup of icewater cools them much faster than the freezer.

Snerk.  Related to this...Don't leave a case of Coke in the car when it is going to get well below freezing temps at night.  :o  It took us a couple of hours to clean the inside of the car.  :-\
And don't leave a case of coke in the car or van in very hot, sunny weather.  They explode quite nicely when they heat up, too.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: kitty-cat on April 15, 2009, 09:41:56 PM
When making cookies to take to school/work - make sure that you get the baking SODA not the baking POWDER.  (or whatever your recipie calls for).  I've just spent the last 3 hours picking out chocolate chips out of the messed up dough because I need them to make more cookies tomorrow.  Not fun.  Very monotonus....
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: CrayonOutlines on April 16, 2009, 12:19:39 AM
Also, furniture polish doesn't kill ants if you spray it into the hole where you think the nest is! It just makes alot of pissed-off ants swarm out of the hole.

Ya, but at least now you have SHINY pissed-off ants.

BWAH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!

I laughed so hard I started coughing!!!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: VorFemme on April 18, 2009, 01:37:31 PM
Shiny lemon scented ants!!!

I wonder what an anteater would think of the way they tasted, though.......?
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: MDefarge on April 18, 2009, 01:49:52 PM
Shiny lemon scented ants!!!

I wonder what an anteater would think of the way they tasted, though.......?

Toss them in some sugar and water and you'd have a happy anteater!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: MrsO on April 22, 2009, 09:45:05 AM
Here's one that happened a long time ago.

Don't go into a hardware store and ask for a can of UB40.
You will be laughed at. Alot. The guys behind the counter will probably start singing 'Red red wine' at you. Your husband will never let you live it down.
 :-[ (In my defence, I was 17 and had never heard of WD40).
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: matf on April 22, 2009, 11:04:26 AM
If you have a stove, it gets hot.

Plastic melts when it gets hot.

Small stove plus lots of pans = very little room for plastic spoons.

And as a final word of warning -- melted plastic is very hot -- if the spoon is burning, grab it by the other end, not the melty one. Ouch!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Kimblee on April 22, 2009, 11:11:17 AM
Speaking of various forms of peppers and such spicy food:  Never, ever, ever decide to create your own dish that involves boiling a substance that includes tons of hot sauce.  Also never walk away from same.

I had a roommate do this.  Great guy, very dangerous in the kitchen.  He basically created mace and gassed the whole apartment.  My gf at the time got a nose bleed.  We had to open everything up and get fans running to even breathe in the apartment.

It honestly never occurred to him that it wasn't a good idea.   :o


I can think of several "don't do that" things from my past, but I'm afraid most of them sound too cynical, so I'll just leave it at the mace cooking. :)

I cook chicken breasts in a frying pan, using a very oily cajun hot sauce as the oil.

I have a pair of swimming goggles that the very sight of makes my mother start opening windows.

But its VERY good!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Kimblee on April 22, 2009, 11:19:47 AM
Don't forget to remove hands completely before shutting car doors(or any doors for that matter). It will hurt, swell and bruise.

Anyone want to guess who has a completely unusable thumb today? *headdesk*


I haven't read the whole thread but assume that it is just me who has done this...more than once.  Don't forget to get your head completely in the car before you shut the door.  Try explaining the large bruise across your neck by telling people you slammed your own head in your own car door.

I slammed my own nose in the car door once.

To this day I have no idea how. I think I'd been leaning down to get something off the passenger seat, came back up and shut the door too soon.

It really hurts.

Two different times in my life, I have hit my cheekbone on the corner of the car door when I leaned into the car. It makes a very black and suspicious-looking bruise, and then when people ask you what happened all you got is, "I ran into the door."

A really dear friend of mine, who is 6'9 and a half, once slammed his face into a kitchen door, and he bruised up spectacularly. About an hour before we were going out to the mall.

I showed up, laughed my butt off for awhile, and finally promised i would make up something less humiliating if anyone asked.

Sure enough, we got there and someone asked, so i deadpanned "I whupped his donkey. He was disrespectin' me!"

(I am about 5'5 and was at the time kinda skinny and girly.)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: MrsJWine on April 22, 2009, 11:31:09 AM
If you're pouring boiling liquid into a strainer, don't hold the strainer by placing your fingers under a couple of the holes.

I realized what I was doing at the last second and only got a tiny bit on my fingers.  But wow, that could have been bad.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Nimblicity on April 22, 2009, 12:12:29 PM
We could have a purely kitchen-accident related thread!

If you have a saucepan with a metal handle, that handle will be cool on the end where you're supposed to grab it, but hot close to the pan where you awkwardly try to grab it when it's full and heavy.  The best course of action if you do this, btw, is just set it back down on the stove, not continue to carry it over to the sink to pour the contents (and whole saucepan) into a colander.  I guess my electrons are slower than most people's, because my subconscious was clearly saying, "Uh, hey, that's gonna be hot", but not loud enough to stop me, until the pain impulses finally wandered in and said, "Yeah, it is!".
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: CrayonOutlines on April 22, 2009, 12:14:30 PM
If your facial toner and nail polish remover are a) the same color and b) placed near each other, be very very sure to pick up the correct one after you've just washed your face!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Pinky830 on April 22, 2009, 02:08:08 PM
When you turn on the burner on your smooth-top stove, be sure the kids' school papers are not on it.

Not only will you have to put out the fire, your son just might tell the story at Cub Scouts when they are working on their "storytelling" achievement.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: RedRuby on April 22, 2009, 02:19:41 PM
Here's one that happened a long time ago.

Don't go into a hardware store and ask for a can of UB40.
You will be laughed at. Alot. The guys behind the counter will probably start singing 'Red red wine' at you. Your husband will never let you live it down.
 :-[ (In my defence, I was 17 and had never heard of WD40).

Hahahaha!!! That's something I would do!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Clara Bow on April 22, 2009, 03:10:03 PM
Here's one that happened a long time ago.

Don't go into a hardware store and ask for a can of UB40.
You will be laughed at. Alot. The guys behind the counter will probably start singing 'Red red wine' at you. Your husband will never let you live it down.
 :-[ (In my defence, I was 17 and had never heard of WD40).

Hahahaha!!! That's something I would do!

If your father tells you that there is a substance called turn signal fluid he's lying.
And please, whatever you do, DO NOT argue with the cashier at PepBoys. DO NOT tell him he has no idea what he's talking about.....the mechanic came out with a chart of the electrical system of a car and showed it to me.
That was one of the few times my mother allowed my to cuss my father out. I called him every name in the book.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Seraphia on April 22, 2009, 10:24:32 PM
New one today.

When walking out to the car while eating a granola bar, make sure you check what you're biting down on. Granola is edible. Car keys, not so much.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Animala on April 22, 2009, 11:14:56 PM
this is from today too

Your flash drive, no matter how hard you try will not unlock a pickup truck door.  For the record neither does the apartment key.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Bluenomi on April 22, 2009, 11:22:08 PM
Swipeing your security pass in front of the lift call button does not call the lift. You actually have to press the button.

Sigh, at least the security guards watching on the CCTV might have gotton a good giggle.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: M-theory on April 23, 2009, 04:39:16 AM
When I first moved into this apartment 3 weeks ago, I went to a nearby dollar store to see what I could find. One of the things I discovered was a neat crystal-look, butterfly-shaped nightlight that glows a pretty blue colour, perfect for the bathroom. And only $1!

Which is great, except that I work the graveyard shift at home from 11 PM to 7 AM - which means there is no stumbling sleepily through the dark to get to the bathroom on time, because the sun is up well before I go to bed. ::)

It's still pretty, and that's what counts, right?
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Miss Vertigo on April 23, 2009, 04:50:24 AM
Swipeing your security pass in front of the lift call button does not call the lift. You actually have to press the button.

Yeah, that.

It also doesn't work on the Oyster card readers on the London Underground.

*headdesk*

Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Giggity on April 23, 2009, 08:42:00 AM
Don't forget to get your head completely in the car before you shut the door.  Try explaining the large bruise across your neck by telling people you slammed your own head in your own car door.

Did that two weeks ago, but it was vertical - essentially, one ear blocked the door and the other was against the frame. To this moment, I am unsure how I managed to do that.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Giggity on April 23, 2009, 08:49:51 AM
as my brother learned many years ago,   dont put a full unopened can of beer in the freezer and forget it.

the beer expands but the can doesnt  ;D


beer-cicle anyone?  Might be refreshing on a really hot day


alas,  everything else in the freezer tastes like beer too.  Beer steak, beer milk, beer icecream, beer icecubes 

Try as I might, I fail at finding a downside in this.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: matf on April 23, 2009, 09:16:38 AM
this is from today too

Your flash drive, no matter how hard you try will not unlock a pickup truck door.  For the record neither does the apartment key.

Similarly, your car remote unlock button will not work on your apartment door.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: thebeckster on April 23, 2009, 10:05:29 AM
No matter how hard you type on your keyboard, it will not dial the phone for you.

Likewise, pounding numbers on your phone will not cause the computer to pick up the numbers for your monitor.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: caslyn on April 23, 2009, 02:37:45 PM
I know this has been covered, but things that come out of a very hot oven are generally very hot themselves. And yet dinner has never gone all over the floor because for some reason my brain and nervous system feel that food is more important than a fully functionning, unburnt hand.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Slartibartfast on April 23, 2009, 03:50:25 PM
One end of a baby is . . . well, both ends of a baby can be moist, but one is moist and smelly at times.  If your hair is falling in your face while you're changing a particularly smelly and messy diaper, DON'T try to brush it out of the way.  You will end up with a moist, smelly baby on a changing table and moist smelly substance in your hair, and you won't be able to go wash it off because your husband isn't in shouting distance and you can't walk off and leave the baby unattended that high off the ground until she learns the pros and cons of gravity.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: momof2weenies on April 23, 2009, 04:06:05 PM
And my addition, don't store flour and powdered sugar in similar containers.  We had to throw out the pizza dough...

This is why my dad once fixed fried fish battered not in cornmeal, but in grits.  Oy.

My addition:  if you need crushed cornflakes for a recipe and you decide to crush them in the original bag, be sure you open the bag slightly before attempting to squish them.  It was like cornflake snow...
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Slartibartfast on April 23, 2009, 05:55:03 PM
And my addition, don't store flour and powdered sugar in similar containers.  We had to throw out the pizza dough...

This is why my dad once fixed fried fish battered not in cornmeal, but in grits.  Oy.

My addition:  if you need crushed cornflakes for a recipe and you decide to crush them in the original bag, be sure you open the bag slightly before attempting to squish them.  It was like cornflake snow...

Oh yes!  When camping, be sure to properly label all food materials.  Yellow cake batter looks identical to powdered cheesy mashed potatoes when in an unlabeled plastic bag.  And as a side note, cake made using powdered cheesy mashed potatoes instead of yellow cake batter is not bad, but definitely not cake.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Bluenomi on April 23, 2009, 09:00:03 PM
No matter how hard you type on your keyboard, it will not dial the phone for you.

Likewise, pounding numbers on your phone will not cause the computer to pick up the numbers for your monitor.

Been there, done that. You would have thought the fact the number pad on the keyboard had the numbers up the other way to my phone might have given that way but it didn't  :P
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Bluenomi on April 23, 2009, 09:01:47 PM
And my addition, don't store flour and powdered sugar in similar containers.  We had to throw out the pizza dough...

This is why my dad once fixed fried fish battered not in cornmeal, but in grits.  Oy.

My addition:  if you need crushed cornflakes for a recipe and you decide to crush them in the original bag, be sure you open the bag slightly before attempting to squish them.  It was like cornflake snow...

Oh yes!  When camping, be sure to properly label all food materials.  Yellow cake batter looks identical to powdered cheesy mashed potatoes when in an unlabeled plastic bag.  And as a side note, cake made using powdered cheesy mashed potatoes instead of yellow cake batter is not bad, but definitely not cake.

My Dad once was having a really hard time getting his pasta sauce to thinken. Turns out he was using icing sugar instead of cornflour. And he still served it! Sweet carbonara is all bad.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: kitty-cat on April 23, 2009, 09:23:30 PM
When making tea, either make sure that you have the teabag ready AWAY from the kettle.  Or, pour the water in the cup before the teabag.  Either way, do NOT reach through the billowing steam comming from said kettle.  This tends to result in a 2nd degree burn and a (for being on a finger) large burn.  And said burn hurts everynow and then esp when poked... 

Oh yea, this happened last Sunday...
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: bopper on April 24, 2009, 04:11:28 AM
I know this has been covered, but things that come out of a very hot oven are generally very hot themselves. And yet dinner has never gone all over the floor because for some reason my brain and nervous system feel that food is more important than a fully functioning, unburnt hand.

Corollary:  Things that come out of a fire are also hot.  My DH was roasting marshmallows over the campfire with our nifty telescoping camping metal marshmallow roasting forks and forgot that lesson.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: The Opinionator on April 24, 2009, 04:18:16 AM
I know this has been said before but I have to say it again. Please be careful when washing hair dye out of your hair. It is probably a bad idea to do it in the shower. You might end up looking like the pink version of the Incredible Hulk.

Don't ask me how I know that.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: ginlyn32 on April 25, 2009, 04:08:22 PM
Do not eat a ridiculous quantity of dehydrated fruit, like apples, and then drink a large quantity of liquid. The apple will rehydrate in your tummy, the feeling of fullness becomes painful, and then you deal with the after effects of eating a ridiculous quantity of apple.

Especially do not do this if you are on a camping trip, and only have an outhouse.


Don't eat more than one Raison Bran Muffin...unless you have some GasX handy! And then maybe you should sit outside for awhile! (yeah...I bought a Sunmaid Raison Bran Muffin mix at the store once and they smelled sooooo good! I think I ate two before I realized! All that bran!)

ginlyn
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Dazi on April 25, 2009, 04:27:32 PM
No matter how many times you try, swiping your driver's license to pay your grocery bill will not work.  The message that comes up is incorrect PIN, but it was the correct PIN, just not the bank card  ::)

Hairspray is not deodorant and vice versa...
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: caslyn on April 25, 2009, 04:30:43 PM
Hairspray is not deodorant and vice versa...

I can give you a whole list of things that aren't deodorant. . .
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Black Delphinium on April 25, 2009, 05:06:22 PM
No matter how many times you try, swiping your driver's license to pay your grocery bill will not work.  The message that comes up is incorrect PIN, but it was the correct PIN, just not the bank card  ::)

Hairspray is not deodorant and vice versa...
When I was a cashier, I once had to tell a gentleman "Sir, that's your bus pass".  :)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: MrsJWine on April 25, 2009, 10:18:24 PM
Hairspray is not deodorant and vice versa...

I can give you a whole list of things that aren't deodorant. . .

I can give you a whole list of things that aren't toothpaste. . .



or face lotion. . .
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: vorbau on April 27, 2009, 11:49:18 PM
And my addition, don't store flour and powdered sugar in similar containers.  We had to throw out the pizza dough...

This is why my dad once fixed fried fish battered not in cornmeal, but in grits.  Oy.

My addition:  if you need crushed cornflakes for a recipe and you decide to crush them in the original bag, be sure you open the bag slightly before attempting to squish them.  It was like cornflake snow...

Oh yes!  When camping, be sure to properly label all food materials.  Yellow cake batter looks identical to powdered cheesy mashed potatoes when in an unlabeled plastic bag.  And as a side note, cake made using powdered cheesy mashed potatoes instead of yellow cake batter is not bad, but definitely not cake.

My Dad once was having a really hard time getting his pasta sauce to thinken. Turns out he was using icing sugar instead of cornflour. And he still served it! Sweet carbonara is all bad.

In the same vein, you really don't want to decant your onion powder and garlic powder into identical jars and then forget to label them. Unlabeled, they look the same, but they sure don't taste the same! Especially after cooking at 350 for 45 minutes. Even the neighbor's dog (who eats rocks, sticks and her own, umm, calling cards) wouldn't eat veal meat loaf with 1/4 cup of garlic powder confused with onion powder. (http://www.mysmiley.net/imgs/smile/sick/sick0012.gif) (http://www.mysmiley.net/free-cool-smileys.php)

Also, for those of us who have reached "une certain age" and need reading glasses, take it from me, you really don't want to read that recipe without your glasses. 1/4 cup of salt tastes WAY different than 1/4 teaspoon of salt. (It tasted like I'd made the scones with seawater. Although the raccoons ate them all after I dumped the scones on the compost pile. Those must be some thirsty raccoons!)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: vorbau on April 27, 2009, 11:56:20 PM
Hairspray is not deodorant and vice versa...

I can give you a whole list of things that aren't deodorant. . .

Not to mention things that come in tubes but aren't toothpaste...wrinkle cream, zit ointment, A&D, Neosporin, and Prep H, just to name a few. DH discovered he needs to pay closer attention, either to which tube he pulls out of the bathroom drawer, or where he keeps his toothpaste.

Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: RooRoo on May 03, 2009, 01:28:23 AM
When stumbling into the kitchen first thing in the morning, keep in mind that the Cheerios go in the bowl, and the teabag in the cup.

Next morning, remember that the boiling water goes in the cup, and the cold milk in the bowl.

Never forget that the onion powder and the vanilla powder are both in round jars with red lids, and are the same color.

Do not allow the slobbery dog to discover that a large, center-pull ball of high-end purple handspun wool makes a delightful toy which becomes longer the more he shakes it.

Do not get your terrier involved in a game of "Evil thing that lives under the blankets and must be dug up and killed" at bedtime.

Watch out for rabbits when you are walking your giant hound dog on a retractable lead, especially near the horse runs. (Afterwards, decide which to do first: pick the goat's-head burrs out of your knees, or wash the powdered manure out of your scratches.)

Do not ride a young stallion bareback, with a badly fitted bosal. http://www.lessismorehorse.com/bosal%20black%20wide%20shot.jpg (http://www.lessismorehorse.com/bosal%20black%20wide%20shot.jpg)
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/__tk0bOD7OtQ/ScHByyiWu8I/AAAAAAAAAJI/ghgBzGME4U0/s1600-h/Bucking+Horse.jpg (http://1.bp.blogspot.com/__tk0bOD7OtQ/ScHByyiWu8I/AAAAAAAAAJI/ghgBzGME4U0/s1600-h/Bucking+Horse.jpg)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: M-theory on May 03, 2009, 04:29:51 AM
If you have a bottle of "cinnamon and clove" air freshener that's advertised as being made with real essential oils...

Try really hard to keep it out of your eyes when you spray.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Peggy Gus on May 03, 2009, 08:54:29 PM
Oven-off and pledge may both come in a yellow can, but they do not work the same. Oven-off does do a very good job of eating the varnish off of a coffee table.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: TiredMum on May 04, 2009, 03:22:13 AM
Breathing is not optional, do not tell the dressmaker that it is.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Nightboomfer on May 04, 2009, 05:15:41 AM
Please, make sure your head is inside the car before you close the door. On that thame note, pleathe make thure your tongue ithn't out when you clothe the door on your own head. Ow.

That locker room at work? The one all your coworkers use and that leads directly to the main hallway? It's not a good place to practice your off-key karaoke, even if you THINK you're alone. At least they joined in when I hit "So you think you can stone me and spit in my eeeeeeeye?/So you think you can love me and leave me to DIIIIE?!/Oh baby, can't do this to me BABY!/ Just gotta get out, just gotta get right out of here..."
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: sooverit on May 04, 2009, 12:24:35 PM
From this morning:

Don't confuse the dog's water bowl with the kibble bowl.  Dog's don't care for cereal too much...  (kibble in water.)  :P
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Pinky830 on May 04, 2009, 05:21:13 PM

Do not get your terrier involved in a game of "Evil thing that lives under the blankets and must be dug up and killed" at bedtime.



I used to play that with my cat. It had very unfortunate consequences when DH went to scratch his, um, sensitive area under the blankets.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Dazi on May 04, 2009, 06:27:13 PM
don't put your purse, drink and/or lunch on the roof of your car while you are unlocking it...a least once, you will forget its there.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Warbaby on May 04, 2009, 08:04:42 PM
When changing a messy diaper in the wee hours of the morning and half-asleep, do not ever reach up and scratch your nose when it starts itching (it will start itching).

Never mind how I know this; suffice it to say that real men do change diapers. 
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Animala on May 04, 2009, 08:23:36 PM
The apartment key still doesn't fit in the truck door.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Suze on May 04, 2009, 08:29:07 PM
The apartment key still doesn't fit in the truck door.

nor will the car key open the house.....
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Layla Miller on May 04, 2009, 08:36:01 PM
The apartment key still doesn't fit in the truck door.

nor will the car key open the house.....

The key to the library doesn't open the house, either.  I still don't know what I was thinking there...
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Shoo on May 04, 2009, 09:00:46 PM
For all that is holy, don't chop jalepeno peppers, then take out your contacts, or even get your hands anywhere NEAR your eyes!!!! :o :o :o

Or any other sensitive parts.  Ahem.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Dazi on May 04, 2009, 09:06:57 PM
For all that is holy, don't chop jalepeno peppers, then take out your contacts, or even get your hands anywhere NEAR your eyes!!!! :o :o :o

Or any other sensitive parts.  Ahem.

also useful to know if using icy/hot, tiger balm or the likes of
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Seven Ate Nine on May 04, 2009, 09:15:11 PM
For all that is holy, don't chop jalepeno peppers, then take out your contacts, or even get your hands anywhere NEAR your eyes!!!! :o :o :o

Or any other sensitive parts.  Ahem.

also useful to know if using icy/hot, tiger balm or the likes of

Another story from a friend:

When you DO get tiger balm onto your sensitive bits, then put on your underwear, then realize you are burning and rush to go rinse off: do not put the same underwear back on when you are done.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Layla Miller on May 04, 2009, 09:17:04 PM
Oh, and another one I just remembered:

Sometimes, when your wisdom teeth are coming in and they start hurting, swishing a mix of hydrogen peroxide and water around in your mouth can help ease the pain.

Just make sure you then spit it out, and do not, under any circumstances, accidentally swallow it.

Ugh.  I'm still shuddering at the memory.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: JadeGirl on May 04, 2009, 09:35:39 PM
Move the cat out of the sink before you spit out the toothpaste.  Mind you, a minty fresh cat is quite an amusing thing to sniff  >:D
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Samantha on May 04, 2009, 10:12:12 PM
The apartment key still doesn't fit in the truck door.

nor will the car key open the house.....

That is not always true! I once dated a guy that lived a few hours away from me, and I drove up one night after work to see him. I was exhausted when I arrived, and beat him and his roommate home (I made good time on the freeway). For some reason, I went on auto-pilot when I got out of the car, and tried to unlock the apartment using my car key... and it worked. They were rather surprised to find me stretched out on the couch when they arrived home, sleeping.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Bluenomi on May 04, 2009, 11:43:02 PM
Move the cat out of the sink before you spit out the toothpaste.  Mind you, a minty fresh cat is quite an amusing thing to sniff  >:D

As would watching their face as they tried to wash it off  ;D
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: bigozzy on May 05, 2009, 05:26:56 AM
don't put your purse, drink and/or lunch on the roof of your car while you are unlocking it...a least once, you will forget its there.

I used to work in a drive in bottleshop in Australia.

A guy drove in one day ordered some wine and beer and was deeply shocked when I asked if I should just take it from the wallet I found on the roof.

It was kept there by the roof rack I guess.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: bigozzy on May 05, 2009, 05:28:20 AM
For all that is holy, don't chop jalepeno peppers, then take out your contacts, or even get your hands anywhere NEAR your eyes!!!! :o :o :o

Or any other sensitive parts.  Ahem.

When you are sleepy, Deep Heat and toothpaste can look the same.

My nouth still burns at the memory.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Shoo on May 05, 2009, 09:36:57 AM
For all that is holy, don't chop jalepeno peppers, then take out your contacts, or even get your hands anywhere NEAR your eyes!!!! :o :o :o

Or any other sensitive parts.  Ahem.

When you are sleepy, Deep Heat and toothpaste can look the same.

My nouth still burns at the memory.

I know someone who sprayed her whole head with underarm deodorant because she thought it was her hairspray.  :D
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: VorFemme on May 05, 2009, 09:42:17 AM
don't put your purse, drink and/or lunch on the roof of your car while you are unlocking it...a least once, you will forget its there.

DH did it with our brand new camera that had 18 or 20 photos of our darling baby girl's first Christmas AND several of job he'd just delivered that was going to be used for advertising.  The camera was not found by us.........

At least he never did it with his laptop.  That I knew about. 
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Xallanthia on May 05, 2009, 10:44:37 AM
Similar to many other "hot things" stories: unlike the rest of the pans in your kitchen, the HANDLE of the cast-iron skillet gets just as hot as the part with the food in it, even when used on the stovetop.

Fortunately I wasn't trying to pick it up or anything, so I escaped any sort of serious burn.

Also, if there is ANYTHING on the stove (including what you're cooking), make sure you triple check which burner you're turning on.  My DH has killed 2 tupperware lids, the nice pasta turner, and our nice kettle this way.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: purplemuse on May 06, 2009, 08:38:01 AM
Do not place an iron (or any other corded appliance) on a shelf with a bunch of loose lightbulbs so that the cord snakes through said loose lightbulbs.

DH was the culprit in this one, but as I'm the only one who uses the iron, I was the one who got to see the lightbulb shower.  I am not often given to foul language, but I cursed when they started falling, not wanting to deal with really sharp broken glass in my bare feet.

Fortunately, none of the bulbs broke.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: MrsJWine on May 06, 2009, 10:14:57 AM
If a *Giant Spider pops out of the car seat and onto Baby just as you've strapped her in (and thus can't just take her out real fast), do not deal with it by screaming your head off and terrifying Baby and then trying to smash Giant Spider with a shoe.  Especially if Giant Spider has migrated to Baby's forehead.  Because you'll probably miss Giant Spider and make Baby cry even more, and then Giant Spider will scurry around to the back of Baby's head while you freak out about spider bites and oh my gosh I just tried to smack a spider on my kid's head, and Baby will cry at you with betrayal in her eyes, and the guilt will eat you up for a whole day.

It's funny now, but I was crying at the time, more than she was.  I finally got it with the vacuum cleaner.

*Not a truly giant spider.  But it was huge for Wisconsin this early in the season.  I don't even want to think about where it's been hiding all winter and what kind of horrors it's been weaving in some corner of my house.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: MrsO on May 06, 2009, 10:20:45 AM
If it makes you feel any better, MrsJ, you dealt with it a whole lot better than I would (I can't promise I wouldn't leg it and leave Baby in evil clutches of spider  :-[ ).

Anyway, a new one. Don't grate off the tip of your knuckle when you're grating a lemon. Yep, lemon in a cut really, really stings.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: caslyn on May 06, 2009, 03:05:59 PM
If a *Giant Spider pops out of the car seat and onto Baby just as you've strapped her in (and thus can't just take her out real fast), do not deal with it by screaming your head off and terrifying Baby and then trying to smash Giant Spider with a shoe.  Especially if Giant Spider has migrated to Baby's forehead.  Because you'll probably miss Giant Spider and make Baby cry even more, and then Giant Spider will scurry around to the back of Baby's head while you freak out about spider bites and oh my gosh I just tried to smack a spider on my kid's head, and Baby will cry at you with betrayal in her eyes, and the guilt will eat you up for a whole day.

It's funny now, but I was crying at the time, more than she was.  I finally got it with the vacuum cleaner.

*Not a truly giant spider.  But it was huge for Wisconsin this early in the season.  I don't even want to think about where it's been hiding all winter and what kind of horrors it's been weaving in some corner of my house.

I know it's not really funny, but you have just made me lol for the first time in ages as I can see me doing something similar.

On a somewhat related note, when you're playing with your baby or small child by throwing them up and catching them, make sure the ceiling is higher than your baby's head will be at its highest point.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Slartibartfast on May 06, 2009, 05:04:39 PM
On that note, the time between "barely mobile baby just learning to crawl" and "baby chasing the dogs around the house crawling at high speed" is about a week.  You really DO want to install the outlet plugs, cord covers, cabinet latches, and babygates as soon as your baby is starting to move, even if he/she isn't zipping around yet.

(Guess who has had to follow the baby around all day very closely because she didn't install cabinet latches and can't find the power drill while DH is at work?)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Dazi on May 07, 2009, 04:35:21 PM
For City folks driving in the country or other farmland...

#1 Drive slow and watch for livestock blocking the roadway (this includes, but is not limited to cows, horses, goats and geese)

#2 If you come to an animal/s in the roadway. Stay in your car!
      a. be patient, they will eventually move
      b. do not honk
      c. do not flash your lights
      d. do not get out of your car in an attempt to make animal/s move. 

At best you will get a stupid human look at worst possibly, bit, kicked, chased and/or trampled.
Horses can and will bite and/or knock you flat on your butt and proceed to mock you.
Cows are stubborn...but I think they are cute  :)
Goats can climb cars.
Geese are the spawn of the devil of your choice.


Tourist in Florida:
Do not touch/pick up the sea turtles (grown or hatchlings), nest or eggs. 
Do not shine flashlights or any other light source at them.
You can go to jail for this.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: MDefarge on May 07, 2009, 04:42:04 PM
If a *Giant Spider pops out of the car seat and onto Baby just as you've strapped her in (and thus can't just take her out real fast), do not deal with it by screaming your head off and terrifying Baby and then trying to smash Giant Spider with a shoe.  Especially if Giant Spider has migrated to Baby's forehead.  Because you'll probably miss Giant Spider and make Baby cry even more, and then Giant Spider will scurry around to the back of Baby's head while you freak out about spider bites and oh my gosh I just tried to smack a spider on my kid's head, and Baby will cry at you with betrayal in her eyes, and the guilt will eat you up for a whole day.

It's funny now, but I was crying at the time, more than she was.  I finally got it with the vacuum cleaner.

*Not a truly giant spider.  But it was huge for Wisconsin this early in the season.  I don't even want to think about where it's been hiding all winter and what kind of horrors it's been weaving in some corner of my house.

MrsJWine - I'm sorry but that story was hysterical - and if it makes you feel any better it doesn't look like she's suffered any lasting damage from it.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Bluenomi on May 07, 2009, 06:38:53 PM
If a *Giant Spider pops out of the car seat and onto Baby just as you've strapped her in (and thus can't just take her out real fast), do not deal with it by screaming your head off and terrifying Baby and then trying to smash Giant Spider with a shoe.  Especially if Giant Spider has migrated to Baby's forehead.  Because you'll probably miss Giant Spider and make Baby cry even more, and then Giant Spider will scurry around to the back of Baby's head while you freak out about spider bites and oh my gosh I just tried to smack a spider on my kid's head, and Baby will cry at you with betrayal in her eyes, and the guilt will eat you up for a whole day.


All spiders in cars are giant. They can be the size of a 5 cent coin but the mere fact they are in a car makes the HUGE! Unless you are driving at the time and the only person in the car, then they are GINORMOUS!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: MrsJWine on May 07, 2009, 07:26:05 PM
Thanks, y'all.  It's funny now, but at the time it was not at all.  I am seriously arachnophobic and and STILL feeling spiders crawling all over me today.  There was one lying in wait on my ceiling this morning, just waiting to eat my soul.  That was awesome.

All spiders in cars are giant. They can be the size of a 5 cent coin but the mere fact they are in a car makes the HUGE! Unless you are driving at the time and the only person in the car, then they are GINORMOUS!

This particular incident didn't happen in the car, thank goodness; we were about to go for a walk, and her car seat snaps into the stroller.  BUT!  What you said is very, very true.  Which brings me to another...

If you're in high school, and you're trying to be cool and hip for a cute boy you've just started dating, and a spider the size of *Massachusetts suddenly scurries up the driver's side window, do not scream, swerve sharply to the side of the road (well, actually, it's a GOOD thing I did that, right?), and then proceed to climb over the cute boy.  You'll kind of look like an idiot.  Especially when you're so freaked out you can't even tell him what the problem is, but just stand there and point and shriek.

*In retrospect, the size of a pea.  Hush.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Pinky830 on May 07, 2009, 08:04:08 PM
When you change your 8-month-old's diaper in summer, be sure to put one leg back in each shorts leg. If you put both legs in one shorts leg, baby who is just starting to pull up on thngs will keep falling down and won't know why.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Animala on May 07, 2009, 09:00:37 PM
What is with me and keys?  Sleep deprivation?

If your keys are in your left hand you will never.ever.ever find them by rooting around in your purse with your right hand.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Animala on May 07, 2009, 09:09:18 PM
If a *Giant Spider pops out of the car seat and onto Baby just as you've strapped her in (and thus can't just take her out real fast), do not deal with it by screaming your head off and terrifying Baby and then trying to smash Giant Spider with a shoe.  Especially if Giant Spider has migrated to Baby's forehead.  Because you'll probably miss Giant Spider and make Baby cry even more, and then Giant Spider will scurry around to the back of Baby's head while you freak out about spider bites and oh my gosh I just tried to smack a spider on my kid's head, and Baby will cry at you with betrayal in her eyes, and the guilt will eat you up for a whole day.

It's funny now, but I was crying at the time, more than she was.  I finally got it with the vacuum cleaner.

*Not a truly giant spider.  But it was huge for Wisconsin this early in the season.  I don't even want to think about where it's been hiding all winter and what kind of horrors it's been weaving in some corner of my house.

I'll share my child traumatizing spider story, this was back when I lived with my parents.

When the kid was four or five it was after dark and we were laying in my bed watching a movie with the lights off.  A spider slowly lowered between us and the TV so all you could see was the silhouette of the spider.  It was huge, it was about the size of a half dollar.  I completely lost it.  I started screaming, flipped on the lights and was looking for a shoe.  As I kept screaming the kid had a melt down and started calling for grandma as I had clearly lost my mind.  In the end the only thing I could find was this huge, two foot long, firetruck of his sitting on the floor.  I beat unmercifully the spider into a pulp in time for my panicked mother to run in and see what was the matter. 

The kid is 11 and still won't talk about this.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Xallanthia on May 07, 2009, 11:23:22 PM
Thanks, y'all.  It's funny now, but at the time it was not at all.  I am seriously arachnophobic and and STILL feeling spiders crawling all over me today.  There was one lying in wait on my ceiling this morning, just waiting to eat my soul.  That was awesome.

All spiders in cars are giant. They can be the size of a 5 cent coin but the mere fact they are in a car makes the HUGE! Unless you are driving at the time and the only person in the car, then they are GINORMOUS!

This particular incident didn't happen in the car, thank goodness; we were about to go for a walk, and her car seat snaps into the stroller.  BUT!  What you said is very, very true.  Which brings me to another...

If you're in high school, and you're trying to be cool and hip for a cute boy you've just started d@ting, and a spider the size of *Massachusetts suddenly scurries up the driver's side window, do not scream, swerve sharply to the side of the road (well, actually, it's a GOOD thing I did that, right?), and then proceed to climb over the cute boy.  You'll kind of look like an idiot.  Especially when you're so freaked out you can't even tell him what the problem is, but just stand there and point and shriek.

*In retrospect, the size of a pea.  Hush.

If it makes you feel better, while driving a car is the only time in my life I have EVER been afraid of a spider.

I'm doing 70 and chatting to a friend (on my hands-free), heading home from college for a visit, when a spider which appeared enormous (but was actually, also, about the size of a pea, including legs) dropped down RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY EYES.  AAH!  I think I deafened my friend and I had to pull over to the side of the road to recover.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: SkyTalon on May 08, 2009, 12:29:24 AM
Do not grab at random flying insects. It might not be a fly. You lose your cool martial arts thing the moment you scream and release the PO'd yellowjacket.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Sirius on May 08, 2009, 06:39:23 PM
No matter how many times you try, swiping your driver's license to pay your grocery bill will not work.  The message that comes up is incorrect PIN, but it was the correct PIN, just not the bank card  ::)

Hairspray is not deodorant and vice versa...
When I was a cashier, I once had to tell a gentleman "Sir, that's your bus pass".  :)

I handed my AAA card to the guy at the pharmacy.  Then I realized what I had done and we both stood there laughing like loons.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: purplemuse on May 09, 2009, 04:29:33 PM
Thanks, y'all.  It's funny now, but at the time it was not at all.  I am seriously arachnophobic and and STILL feeling spiders crawling all over me today.  There was one lying in wait on my ceiling this morning, just waiting to eat my soul.  That was awesome.

All spiders in cars are giant. They can be the size of a 5 cent coin but the mere fact they are in a car makes the HUGE! Unless you are driving at the time and the only person in the car, then they are GINORMOUS!

This particular incident didn't happen in the car, thank goodness; we were about to go for a walk, and her car seat snaps into the stroller.  BUT!  What you said is very, very true.  Which brings me to another...

If you're in high school, and you're trying to be cool and hip for a cute boy you've just started d@ting, and a spider the size of *Massachusetts suddenly scurries up the driver's side window, do not scream, swerve sharply to the side of the road (well, actually, it's a GOOD thing I did that, right?), and then proceed to climb over the cute boy.  You'll kind of look like an idiot.  Especially when you're so freaked out you can't even tell him what the problem is, but just stand there and point and shriek.

*In retrospect, the size of a pea.  Hush.

If it makes you feel better, while driving a car is the only time in my life I have EVER been afraid of a spider.

I'm doing 70 and chatting to a friend (on my hands-free), heading home from college for a visit, when a spider which appeared enormous (but was actually, also, about the size of a pea, including legs) dropped down RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY EYES.  AAH!  I think I deafened my friend and I had to pull over to the side of the road to recover.

I am always afraid of spiders, in a car or otherwise, and I have made DH pull over to deal with a spider on my side of the car.  And it was much smaller than a pea.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Mediancat on May 10, 2009, 07:33:33 AM
Things not to do I have learned in my life:

When cleaning the bathroom vanity and the mirror falls out, don't try to catch it. Not unless you enjoy trips to the emergency room and the prospect of seeing portions of your anatomy you were never meant to see without an x-ray machine. My dad did this one while I watched, in horror.

When making breadsticks, don't, when you're adding the spices (italian seasonings, red pepper, etc) mistake the cinnamon sugar  for the garlic powder.

And don't, if you're told by your boss at a college-age general yard-cleaning job to clean up the inlet (he lived on a river) of the jellyfish, pick them up (while wearing gloves) and then wipe your forehead while still holding the jellyfish. Not unless you like having long red streaks across your forehead that makes it feel as though a bee decided to sting its way across your face.

Rob aka Mediancat



Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: VorFemme on May 10, 2009, 09:53:55 AM
My sister and her husband were relaxing one weekend (he was looking out the window & drinking coffee - if I remember the story correctly) when he put the coffee down, grabbed their first aid kit and ran across the street.

The neighbors had gone for a walk, gotten back, and realized they'd locked themselves out, so the Neighbor Guy was going to "pop" a pane of glass out of the window to get in.........skipping ahead without too many details on what happens when glass slips.......BIL was quite busy applying gauze and tape to slow the bleeding while Sis got on the phone for an ambulance or something.

Skipping the ambulance, a helicopter landed to take the guy to the closest hospital for repairs.  The first aid saved his life, as he needed much less blood than the medics and doctor had feared, seeing the extent of the injuries.

More gauze and tape - $30.  Neighbor Guy alive and his wife & family happy to have him - priceless.  BIL was pretty pumped (Army reflexes had kicked in - he saw what needed to be done and responded without even taking time to tell Sis where he was going).  Although seeing him grab the first aid kit, she hadn't gotten in his way........

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++(eta)

Although there had been a guy in our ROTC group in college who slipped as he was leaving the pool enclosure - his outstretched arms hit the glass instead of the handle.  He did not end up going into the military due to nerve and muscle damage from the shattered glass...........

Just seeing the scars, I remember to use the handle instead of the glass...........I understand that the NEW doors had the tempered safety glass used (but in 1978 the safety glass may have been still in development - I don't know what had been used).
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Dazi on May 10, 2009, 07:02:39 PM
when setting the crockpot up before I leave for the day
#1 make sure it is plugged in
#2 make sure it is turned on   :o 
yeah, I didn't do either...

luckily DH realized it wasn't on before he left for work  :D
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Bluenomi on May 10, 2009, 11:15:56 PM
when setting the crockpot up before I leave for the day
#1 make sure it is plugged in
#2 make sure it is turned on   :o 
yeah, I didn't do either...

luckily DH realized it wasn't on before he left for work  :D

Rice cookers also work better if you turn them on. And here I was wondering why my rice was taking so long  ::)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: CrayonOutlines on May 11, 2009, 12:11:42 AM
Can we get a warning before stories that involve real injuries, e.g., blood, broken bones, etc?  Turns out I get squeamish when I come across descriptions of these things.

Thanks!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: jstlstrnslb on May 11, 2009, 03:31:25 AM
If you only have one large plate, and don't know whether it will survive the oven, don't put it in the oven.

I now have to try and survive the last three weeks of uni without a big plate...
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Miss Vertigo on May 11, 2009, 06:09:50 AM
If a *Giant Spider pops out of the car seat and onto Baby just as you've strapped her in (and thus can't just take her out real fast), do not deal with it by screaming your head off and terrifying Baby and then trying to smash Giant Spider with a shoe.  Especially if Giant Spider has migrated to Baby's forehead.  Because you'll probably miss Giant Spider and make Baby cry even more, and then Giant Spider will scurry around to the back of Baby's head while you freak out about spider bites and oh my gosh I just tried to smack a spider on my kid's head, and Baby will cry at you with betrayal in her eyes, and the guilt will eat you up for a whole day.

It's funny now, but I was crying at the time, more than she was.  I finally got it with the vacuum cleaner.

Oh man - I just nearly choked on my ham sandwich for laughing... in The Quietest Office In The World.

I have to ask: was the spider still on the baby's head when you vacuumed it up? Because that would be hilarious.

Did I mention that I love this thread?  ;D ;D ;D

On the car keys subject: you can't lock your front door with the remote car alarm clicker thing. In my defence, it was very early, and they're on the same keyring.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: MrsJWine on May 11, 2009, 07:04:42 AM
Oh man - I just nearly choked on my ham sandwich for laughing... in The Quietest Office In The World.

I have to ask: was the spider still on the baby's head when you vacuumed it up? Because that would be hilarious.

I hit babies and choke people!  Go me!

But no, it was on her leg.  I hate vacuuming up spiders, but the only thing that separates them from me is a millimeter of flimsy plastic, and they make this thwok noise against the tube, but I really had no other option.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: petal on May 11, 2009, 08:30:51 AM
Thanks, y'all.  It's funny now, but at the time it was not at all.  I am seriously arachnophobic and and STILL feeling spiders crawling all over me today.  There was one lying in wait on my ceiling this morning, just waiting to eat my soul.  That was awesome.

All spiders in cars are giant. They can be the size of a 5 cent coin but the mere fact they are in a car makes the HUGE! Unless you are driving at the time and the only person in the car, then they are GINORMOUS!

This particular incident didn't happen in the car, thank goodness; we were about to go for a walk, and her car seat snaps into the stroller.  BUT!  What you said is very, very true.  Which brings me to another...

If you're in high school, and you're trying to be cool and hip for a cute boy you've just started d@ting, and a spider the size of *Massachusetts suddenly scurries up the driver's side window, do not scream, swerve sharply to the side of the road (well, actually, it's a GOOD thing I did that, right?), and then proceed to climb over the cute boy.  You'll kind of look like an idiot.  Especially when you're so freaked out you can't even tell him what the problem is, but just stand there and point and shriek.

*In retrospect, the size of a pea.  Hush.

If it makes you feel better, while driving a car is the only time in my life I have EVER been afraid of a spider.

I'm doing 70 and chatting to a friend (on my hands-free), heading home from college for a visit, when a spider which appeared enormous (but was actually, also, about the size of a pea, including legs) dropped down RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY EYES.  AAH!  I think I deafened my friend and I had to pull over to the side of the road to recover.

I am always afraid of spiders, in a car or otherwise, and I have made DH pull over to deal with a spider on my side of the car.  And it was much smaller than a pea.



im petrified of spiders too but im wetting myself laughing at these !!

reminds me of a story i read in one of our local mags years back.  husband and wife are going shopping and are looking for a parking space in shopping carpark. Husband is driving down the aisle slowly when a huntsman spider appears on the inside of the windscreen.  Husband opens his door and jumps out.

Car is still moving and wife  is unable to do anything for a while since she's buckled in still.

I bet he had to buy her a large bunch of roses for leaving her behind  ;D


Back in primary school mum would pick me up and take me home for lunch sometimes. This one day a huge moth (size of a hand) flew in the car.

Mum let go of the steering wheel and we're both trying to shoo it out the car window.
Meanwhile, the car is still moving. Mum finally hits the brakes.
We get rid of the moth out the doors which are now both open then get out the car ourselves.

We're on someones front garden and centimetres away from an electricity pole.
 ;D
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: hermanne on May 11, 2009, 11:56:59 AM
Another one involving a glass mirror. Kinda gross, I'll leave out some details.

I had a nice antique mirror propped up on my dresser, with a towel under the mirror so the pretty scalloped edges wouldn't scratch the wood. One day the mirror started sliding, so I quickly get my hands up to grab it before it hits the floor.

Those pretty scalloped edges are sharp. I still have the half-circle scar on the back of my thumb to prove it. :P
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: MrsO on May 11, 2009, 04:55:56 PM


But no, it was on her leg.  I hate vacuuming up spiders, but the only thing that separates them from me is a millimeter of flimsy plastic, and they make this thwok noise against the tube, but I really had no other option.

Me too. I'm always afraind that they're going to crawl back out of the vaccuum cleaner pipe when I'm least expecting it and get me.  :-\
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Dindrane on May 11, 2009, 05:05:58 PM
You know, there are these little bug vacuum things you can buy.  They seem to either suck bugs in and kill them, or suck them in and keep them from getting out (so you can release them somewhere besides your house).

Like this: http://www.amazon.com/IdeaWorks-JB4187-Ideaworks-Rechargeable-Long%252dReach/dp/B000H78Q48/ref=tag_dpp_lp_edpp_img_ex/182-7230137-9213812 (http://www.amazon.com/IdeaWorks-JB4187-Ideaworks-Rechargeable-Long%252dReach/dp/B000H78Q48/ref=tag_dpp_lp_edpp_img_ex/182-7230137-9213812)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: VorFemme on May 11, 2009, 06:40:11 PM
DH is the one who experimented to discover the following.

Just because the stoneware plates say "oven proof" does not mean that you can use them instead of a baking tin to make biscuits.

He met me at the door EXTREMELY upset because something hadn't worked the way it was labeled to work.  He showed me a "new" Franciscan ware plate that had cracked in half in the oven when he tried to bake biscuits on it (so there wouldn't be so many dishes to wash, he claims - he was right - that plate didn't get washed again).  He was ranting.......until I explained (two or three or six times before he "got it") that ovenproof on a plate means that it can go in around 200 to 250 to keep food WARM.  It will not allow you to use it for baking because that is a different label.  And the label is under the glaze (or in the case of glassware) raised print in the glass so it is impossible to change AFTER you pay for it.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: MrsJWine on May 11, 2009, 07:09:53 PM


But no, it was on her leg.  I hate vacuuming up spiders, but the only thing that separates them from me is a millimeter of flimsy plastic, and they make this thwok noise against the tube, but I really had no other option.

Me too. I'm always afraind that they're going to crawl back out of the vaccuum cleaner pipe when I'm least expecting it and get me.  :-\

I always vacuum up something hard or heavy immediately afterwards and then keep it running for a while.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: petal on May 11, 2009, 07:40:00 PM


But no, it was on her leg.  I hate vacuuming up spiders, but the only thing that separates them from me is a millimeter of flimsy plastic, and they make this thwok noise against the tube, but I really had no other option.

Me too. I'm always afraind that they're going to crawl back out of the vaccuum cleaner pipe when I'm least expecting it and get me.  :-\


we get huntsman spiders here which i really really hate

i give them a quick spray with flyspray (or oven cleaner if thats all i can find).  the spiders drop  then i vacuum them up. Then i vacuum some soil or fireplace ash up.
THen while the vacuum is still on  i put a small piece of paper over the end and put a hair tie on it.  I dont use the vacuum for a few days.  By that time the spider is well and truly dead.

NEVER had a spider come running out at me.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: dawbs on May 11, 2009, 09:05:16 PM


i give them a quick spray with flyspray (or oven cleaner if thats all i can find). ...

In the list of *useful* things to know...
cans of starting fluid = ether.
ether = works on critters too.

It doesn't (usually!) kill them, but it knocks them out.  Which, if you're an enterprising young entomology student who needs things like bees and other critters that fly to fast to catch easily (once the net broke), works well. 
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: MrsO on May 12, 2009, 05:09:56 AM



i give them a quick spray with flyspray (or oven cleaner if thats all i can find). 

Me too. Or deodorant, or furniture polish, or antibacterial kitchen spray, or air frshener. Yep, when it comes to killing bugs, you kind of get creative and grab the nearest things to hand.

O/T- huntsman spiders. Blarghhh!! You would probably laugh at what I'd call a humungous hairy giant killer spider.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Grape on May 12, 2009, 06:55:05 PM
Also useful to know.... old bug spray sprayed at mid-air HUGE yellow-jacket may = angry yellow-jacket.

Make sure you can really hit them!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: LadyClaire on May 13, 2009, 09:07:27 AM
If you keep a bottle of water on your bedside table because you frequently wake up thirsty, do NOT leave your bottle of nailpolish remover right beside it. I learned this when I was a teenager. I woke up thirsty as usual, rolled over, grabbed my bottled water and took a big swig...

It was not water.

Nail polish remover really, really burns. Plus, it tastes foul, and your tongue will hurt and the taste will linger for hours.

Luckily I didn't swallow it. I spit it out as soon as the taste hit me. But yeah. I always put the polish remover in the bathroom after using it.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Xallanthia on May 13, 2009, 09:53:42 AM
Back in primary school mum would pick me up and take me home for lunch sometimes. This one day a huge moth (size of a hand) flew in the car.

Mum let go of the steering wheel and we're both trying to shoo it out the car window.
Meanwhile, the car is still moving. Mum finally hits the brakes.
We get rid of the moth out the doors which are now both open then get out the car ourselves.

We're on someones front garden and centimetres away from an electricity pole.
 ;D

Similarly, you should also put your car in park before leaping out to embrace the dear friend you haven't seen for MONTHS.

...it's a really good thing my friend is 6'2" with legs from here to forever.  He stepped his foot INTO the car onto the break.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Lady Snowdon on May 13, 2009, 10:09:27 AM
If you think there's a problem with your garage door as you come home, it may not be the best idea to drive into the garage, and hit the button to close the garage door.  If there is a problem with the garage door, you've just trapped yourself.  Not that I did this last night or anything...  :-[  DH ended up having to unhook the motor from the garage door, and remove a couple brackets so we could haul the door up and back my car out. 
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: hobish on May 13, 2009, 01:35:23 PM
DH is the one who experimented to discover the following.

Just because the stoneware plates say "oven proof" does not mean that you can use them instead of a baking tin to make biscuits.

He met me at the door EXTREMELY upset because something hadn't worked the way it was labeled to work.  He showed me a "new" Franciscan ware plate that had cracked in half in the oven when he tried to bake biscuits on it (so there wouldn't be so many dishes to wash, he claims - he was right - that plate didn't get washed again).  He was ranting.......until I explained (two or three or six times before he "got it") that ovenproof on a plate means that it can go in around 200 to 250 to keep food WARM.  It will not allow you to use it for baking because that is a different label.  And the label is under the glaze (or in the case of glassware) raised print in the glass so it is impossible to change AFTER you pay for it.

Well, you learn something new every day. I would have thought the same thing your husband did. I'm surprised i haven't shattered a bunch of crockware already!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: LadyClaire on May 13, 2009, 02:48:32 PM
I woke up thirsty as usual, rolled over, grabbed my bottled water and took a big swig...

Oh no!  Do you still have flashbacks when you smell it now?  YUCK!

Yup.

I can also say that cheap Sake tastes a great deal like nailpolish remover. Not as tongue blistering, but still similar. The first time I had a sip of Sake at a sushi bar, I said "ugh, that takes like nailpolish remover!" DF asked how I knew..I told him I had experience. ;)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: purplemuse on May 13, 2009, 03:20:48 PM
Another spider story-- a friend and I were in a pedal boat (flat-bottomed, fairly stable), and pedalled under a tree.  A spider dropped into the boat, and I thought we were either going to both go overboard, or that we were going to flip the boat trying to get away from it.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: hobish on May 13, 2009, 06:34:16 PM
Another spider story-- a friend and I were in a pedal boat (flat-bottomed, fairly stable), and pedalled under a tree.  A spider dropped into the boat, and I thought we were either going to both go overboard, or that we were going to flip the boat trying to get away from it.

I had that happen while canoing. It was high water so we didn't see the dam we were going to get stuck on top until we were already stuck on it. I am scared of deep water and was already convinced we were going to die when out of the front of the canoe climbs a HUGE spider. I didn't want to kill it. I like spiders ... but he was about to climb up my leg while i was trying to get the blasted canoe off the dam without tipping us over, so SQUuuuiiiiiiiissshhh! >shudder< It was like stepping on a small animal it was so big. That was a moment of panic i will never forget.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Bluenomi on May 13, 2009, 08:25:50 PM
If you keep a bottle of water on your bedside table because you frequently wake up thirsty, do NOT leave your bottle of nailpolish remover right beside it. I learned this when I was a teenager. I woke up thirsty as usual, rolled over, grabbed my bottled water and took a big swig...

It was not water.

Nail polish remover really, really burns. Plus, it tastes foul, and your tongue will hurt and the taste will linger for hours.

Luckily I didn't swallow it. I spit it out as soon as the taste hit me. But yeah. I always put the polish remover in the bathroom after using it.

A friend of mine did this with face moisturier. She now makes sure it goes into the bathroom as well  ;D I just make sure my hand cream is in a pump bottle, very hard to confuse with a glass!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Binxi on May 13, 2009, 11:09:22 PM
I tried to drink hand cream in the night. You'd think I would have realised when I started squeezing it to get the contents out that it wasn't water.

Some people don't wake up very pretty, others don't wake up very clever. I have the ability not wake up pretty or clever  ;D
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Tiramisu on May 14, 2009, 01:43:24 AM
If you have a habit of using your thumb as a guide to cut things due to using a blunt knife for a long time - don't sharpen it.

The next day when you're cooking for six - keep an eye on your bandaids on your thumb and finger.

Realising one is missing when you've finished three salads and a dip is not good.

(Although at least I realised then and not when people were eating it.  Making the salads and dip twice was worth not having to worry about the horror of that!)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: hermanne on May 14, 2009, 08:25:00 AM
If you have a habit of using your thumb as a guide to cut things due to using a blunt knife for a long time - don't sharpen it.

Been there, done that, still haven't learned my lesson. ::)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: LadyClaire on May 14, 2009, 09:33:59 AM
DF learned a couple of years ago that dishwashing liquid does not go in dishwashers. We were house sitting for my sister, and he was off that day. I went to her house after work, and found him standing knee deep in suds in the kitchen, looking very confused. He told me there was something wrong with my sister's dishwasher, because it suddenly flooded and started filling the kitchen with suds.

I asked him what he'd used..and he points to the bottle of Dawn sitting on the kitchen counter.  ::)

We had to use every towel in the house to clean it up and run the dishwasher 4 times before all the suds went away! I spent hours bailing out the dishwasher, then sucking up suds with her wet/dry vacuum, then emptying the chamber in the vacuum, sucking up more suds...he had used a LOT of Dawn, apparently.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: momof2weenies on May 14, 2009, 11:28:38 AM
don't put your purse, drink and/or lunch on the roof of your car while you are unlocking it...a least once, you will forget its there.
Because when you stop and fill up at a gas station and THEN realize you have no purse, you will have to leave your teenaged daughter as collateral while you hurry back to the house to get cash.

It was a local gas station, only 6 miles from home - but I have gotten TONS of mileage from that story - thanks, mom!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: momof2weenies on May 14, 2009, 11:31:44 AM


Also, for those of us who have reached "une certain age" and need reading glasses, take it from me, you really don't want to read that recipe without your glasses. 1/4 cup of salt tastes WAY different than 1/4 teaspoon of salt. (It tasted like I'd made the scones with seawater. Although the raccoons ate them all after I dumped the scones on the compost pile. Those must be some thirsty raccoons!)


And with that in mind, if a recipe calls for a spice you've never used before (say, cloves) and the amount printed in the recipe is the whole bottle of said spice, perhaps you should discuss this with other baker-type-friends before making it.  I had "clove cake with hint of blackberries" -- though the second try, when I used 1/4 tsp instead of 1/4 cup, was much better!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: MrsO on May 14, 2009, 11:48:31 AM


Also, for those of us who have reached "une certain age" and need reading glasses, take it from me, you really don't want to read that recipe without your glasses. 1/4 cup of salt tastes WAY different than 1/4 teaspoon of salt. (It tasted like I'd made the scones with seawater. Although the raccoons ate them all after I dumped the scones on the compost pile. Those must be some thirsty raccoons!)


And with that in mind, if a recipe calls for a spice you've never used before (say, cloves) and the amount printed in the recipe is the whole bottle of said spice, perhaps you should discuss this with other baker-type-friends before making it.  I had "clove cake with hint of blackberries" -- though the second try, when I used 1/4 tsp instead of 1/4 cup, was much better!
LOL!!!  ;D
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: RingTailedLemur on May 14, 2009, 02:15:01 PM
If you have a habit of using your thumb as a guide to cut things due to using a blunt knife for a long time - don't sharpen it.

Been there, done that, still haven't learned my lesson. ::)

Don't wipe soap/hairs off your razor by rubbing the pad of your thumb across it either.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Slartibartfast on May 14, 2009, 02:19:41 PM
If you have a habit of using your thumb as a guide to cut things due to using a blunt knife for a long time - don't sharpen it.

Been there, done that, still haven't learned my lesson. ::)

Don't wipe soap/hairs off your razor by rubbing the pad of your thumb across it either.

EEEEP!  That gives me the willies!  Razors and vegetable peelers creep me out.  I actually leave the skins on all the vegetables I cook with, unless I absolutely have to skin them - and even then, I make DH do it!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: LadyClaire on May 14, 2009, 03:01:04 PM
If you have a habit of using your thumb as a guide to cut things due to using a blunt knife for a long time - don't sharpen it.

Been there, done that, still haven't learned my lesson. ::)

Don't wipe soap/hairs off your razor by rubbing the pad of your thumb across it either.

been there, done that, got the triple lined scars to show for it!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: sooverit on May 14, 2009, 03:26:17 PM
just learned a new one the hard way....


If the clasp/button/zipper on your pants gets easily stuck- don't wait till the last minute to go to the bathroom...   :P
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Bluenomi on May 14, 2009, 07:47:07 PM
don't put your purse, drink and/or lunch on the roof of your car while you are unlocking it...a least once, you will forget its there.
Because when you stop and fill up at a gas station and THEN realize you have no purse, you will have to leave your teenaged daughter as collateral while you hurry back to the house to get cash.

It was a local gas station, only 6 miles from home - but I have gotten TONS of mileage from that story - thanks, mom!

And if you take your wallet out of you handbag at work, don't forget to put it back in. Or at least check you have it before you fill the car up. I had to ring DH and get him to come and pay for my petrol recently, luckily he had just got home and was only a few kilometers away not still at work  :-[
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: JadeGirl on May 14, 2009, 11:12:51 PM
The soup packet is torn open and added to the noodle bowl.  The tea bag stays whole and is placed in the tea cup.

Earl grey flavoured ramen  :-X
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: petal on May 14, 2009, 11:34:43 PM
just learned a new one the hard way....


If the clasp/button/zipper on your pants gets easily stuck- don't wait till the last minute to go to the bathroom...   :P



on that note

if you're busting for a pee and stop off at a fast food place that you know has a toilet, then rush in,  make sure the toilet seat is up  before you sit down   ::)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Tiramisu on May 15, 2009, 02:57:41 AM


But no, it was on her leg.  I hate vacuuming up spiders, but the only thing that separates them from me is a millimeter of flimsy plastic, and they make this thwok noise against the tube, but I really had no other option.

Me too. I'm always afraind that they're going to crawl back out of the vaccuum cleaner pipe when I'm least expecting it and get me.  :-\


we get huntsman spiders here which i really really hate

i give them a quick spray with flyspray (or oven cleaner if thats all i can find).  the spiders drop  then i vacuum them up. Then i vacuum some soil or fireplace ash up.
THen while the vacuum is still on  i put a small piece of paper over the end and put a hair tie on it.  I dont use the vacuum for a few days.  By that time the spider is well and truly dead.

NEVER had a spider come running out at me.

Ah you must live near me, huntsman spiders are the thing that scare me most, most and most.

Okay so how would your plan work if you find a huntsman spider crawling across your dashboard when you are going 100kms on the Freeway.  Where is the oven cleaner then? Hey?  Hey? 

Yes this happened.  I think I handled it pretty calmly.  I gripped on to the steering wheel and just screamed non stop until I could get to a safe spot to slow down and pull over.  Cue jumping out the car, jumping around for a while, screaming some more, shaking hair, batting myself all over with my car keys.  Yes Mr Huntsman was still sitting peacefully in the car while I was doing that but hey! How was I to know his wife wasn't down my clothes?

While I was wondering how in the hoot I was going to get him out of the car a police officer stopped because I wasn't parked in the best of places. (Emergency Truck Stop) And nice police officer got the spider out for me.

For weeks I made my BF do spider checking on the car.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: MrsO on May 15, 2009, 04:36:20 AM
Tiramisu, I'm almost crying with laughter at the imagery!!
Sorry, I'm sure it was terrifying and I'd have probably crashed the car.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: purplemuse on May 15, 2009, 07:40:44 AM
Celexa is not fish food.  Fortunately I noticed before feeding my betta antidepressants.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: sooverit on May 15, 2009, 08:35:10 AM
Celexa is not fish food.  Fortunately I noticed before feeding my betta antidepressants.

hahahahahahaha- maybe the beta was depressed?   :P
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: MrsJWine on May 15, 2009, 09:08:21 AM
Tiramisu, I'm almost crying with laughter at the imagery!!
Sorry, I'm sure it was terrifying and I'd have probably crashed the car.

Me too!  One of the funniest things I've read all day.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: RingTailedLemur on May 15, 2009, 09:43:58 AM
If you have a habit of using your thumb as a guide to cut things due to using a blunt knife for a long time - don't sharpen it.

Been there, done that, still haven't learned my lesson. ::)

Don't wipe soap/hairs off your razor by rubbing the pad of your thumb across it either.

been there, done that, got the triple lined scars to show for it!

Whenever I see adverts for multiple-bladed razors I can't help adding the tag line "Now you don't just cut yourself once....."
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: LadyClaire on May 15, 2009, 09:48:07 AM
If you are out of state on a business trip, and you lock your keys in your car at 12:00 AM, and the security guard is nice enough to pick the lock for you and let you into your car despite the fact that it's against company policy to do so...

Do not turn around and lock your keys in your car 15 minutes later.

DF did that several years ago.

You'd think he would have learned his lesson. He is terrible about locking his keys in his car and does it every couple of months. I have his spare key, and I've had to go unlock his car for him more times than I can count. I told him that his next car had better have Onstar and automatic locks so he can call them to pop his locks for him.

Though he did sign up for AAA after the last time, when he had to call me at 11:30 at night to go unlock his car. He works 45 minutes away, and I had just gone to bed when he called. I was NOT happy. Now he calls them when he locks his keys in his car.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: LadyClaire on May 15, 2009, 09:49:21 AM
If you have a habit of using your thumb as a guide to cut things due to using a blunt knife for a long time - don't sharpen it.

Been there, done that, still haven't learned my lesson. ::)

Don't wipe soap/hairs off your razor by rubbing the pad of your thumb across it either.

been there, done that, got the triple lined scars to show for it!

Whenever I see adverts for multiple-bladed razors I can't help adding the tag line "Now you don't just cut yourself once....."

I think the commercial for the Venus razor should change their jingle to "I'm your venus, I'm your fire, OH MY GOD MY THUMB!!"
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Suze on May 15, 2009, 02:59:44 PM
If you are out of state on a business trip, and you lock your keys in your car at 12:00 AM, and the security guard is nice enough to pick the lock for you and let you into your car despite the fact that it's against company policy to do so...

Do not turn around and lock your keys in your car 15 minutes later.

DF did that several years ago.

You'd think he would have learned his lesson. He is terrible about locking his keys in his car and does it every couple of months. I have his spare key, and I've had to go unlock his car for him more times than I can count. I told him that his next car had better have Onstar and automatic locks so he can call them to pop his locks for him.

Though he did sign up for AAA after the last time, when he had to call me at 11:30 at night to go unlock his car. He works 45 minutes away, and I had just gone to bed when he called. I was NOT happy. Now he calls them when he locks his keys in his car.

have you ever thought to put a "spare key" in his wallet?
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Dazi on May 15, 2009, 04:58:10 PM
If you are out of state on a business trip, and you lock your keys in your car at 12:00 AM, and the security guard is nice enough to pick the lock for you and let you into your car despite the fact that it's against company policy to do so...

Do not turn around and lock your keys in your car 15 minutes later.

DF did that several years ago.

You'd think he would have learned his lesson. He is terrible about locking his keys in his car and does it every couple of months. I have his spare key, and I've had to go unlock his car for him more times than I can count. I told him that his next car had better have Onstar and automatic locks so he can call them to pop his locks for him.

Though he did sign up for AAA after the last time, when he had to call me at 11:30 at night to go unlock his car. He works 45 minutes away, and I had just gone to bed when he called. I was NOT happy. Now he calls them when he locks his keys in his car.

have you ever thought to put a "spare key" in his wallet?

if he has a car alarm that automatically unlocks his car with a keypad remote thing and you have the spare keypad remote....he could just call you and you beep yours through the phone and it would unlock his car...hope that made sense...and yes that really works
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: LadyClaire on May 15, 2009, 05:31:22 PM
If you are out of state on a business trip, and you lock your keys in your car at 12:00 AM, and the security guard is nice enough to pick the lock for you and let you into your car despite the fact that it's against company policy to do so...

Do not turn around and lock your keys in your car 15 minutes later.

DF did that several years ago.

You'd think he would have learned his lesson. He is terrible about locking his keys in his car and does it every couple of months. I have his spare key, and I've had to go unlock his car for him more times than I can count. I told him that his next car had better have Onstar and automatic locks so he can call them to pop his locks for him.

Though he did sign up for AAA after the last time, when he had to call me at 11:30 at night to go unlock his car. He works 45 minutes away, and I had just gone to bed when he called. I was NOT happy. Now he calls them when he locks his keys in his car.

have you ever thought to put a "spare key" in his wallet?

I've suggested that many times. He doesn't want to..says he doesn't want a hard metal key messing up the wallet. I guess he thinks the pressure created by his rear end sitting on the key inside the wallet will make it wear through the leather. Plus, he has so much stuff in his wallet I don't think he'd actually have room for a key in there.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Peggy Gus on May 15, 2009, 05:57:57 PM
If you are a man and you rub ICE HOT on any part of your body, make sure you wash your hands before you go to the bathroom. DH did this and lets say he was uncomfortable for a while.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: LadyClaire on May 15, 2009, 08:39:23 PM
speaking of icy hot and manly parts...I once rubbed a similar product on my hip one night when it was aching. My boyfriend at the time decided to come cuddle up to me, sans pants. He came into direct contact with the icy-hot on my hip.

Five seconds later he was in the bathroom washing himself and cursing.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Team HoundMom on May 15, 2009, 09:44:11 PM
If you are a man and you rub ICE HOT on any part of your body, make sure you wash your hands before you go to the bathroom. DH did this and lets say he was uncomfortable for a while.

Apparently the same thing applies after you've eaten hot chili peppers. Or so I was told. By a guy. :P
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: LadyClaire on May 18, 2009, 07:19:35 AM
I forgot about this one. If you drive a Saturn Ion, and your pen falls in the crack between the driver's side seat and the center console...leave it there.

Last year I was in the parking lot for my bank. I'd just completed a secret shop, and was jotting down a few notes so I wouldn't forget anything. Somehow, I dropped the pen and it fell down that little space by my seat. I've got pretty slim fingers, so I figured it would be no big deal to reach down there and snag it.

Except for one small detail. You see, the center console has a hard plastic case that doesn't go all the way to the floor. Oh, no. The plastic ends about an inch before the floor, leaving an itty bitty gap. So I reached down there to grab the pen, and...my knuckles got stuck in the gap. Not just a little stuck, but "oh my god I'm trapped in my car" stuck. The more I pulled, the more stuck I became, and the plastic edge was starting to scrape the skin off my fingers. My purse was out of reach, so I couldn't grab my cell phone to call anyone. The only thing within reach was my rearview mirror, with its handy Onstar buttons. But...I didn't want to call Onstar. What was I supposed to do? Say "Oh, hey Onstar, I'm trapped in my car at my bank and I was wondering, could you send someone to help get my fingers out?" Visions of firemen arriving to pry my hand free while a crowd looked on were dancing through my head.

My other option was to roll down the window and yell for help. But no one was outside, and that was somehow worse than calling Onstar.

So I gritted my teeth, wriggled my other hand down there and pressed the side of the console in to help widen the gap. Then I threw my weight back and YANKED my hand free. I lost a great deal of skin, and a little bit of flesh, but I was free.

Though I did NOT get my pen back. I didn't get that stupid pen back until they had to replace the defective carpeting in the car and they got the pen when they took the seats out.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Morrigan on May 18, 2009, 07:45:15 PM
If you are out of state on a business trip, and you lock your keys in your car at 12:00 AM, and the security guard is nice enough to pick the lock for you and let you into your car despite the fact that it's against company policy to do so...

Do not turn around and lock your keys in your car 15 minutes later.

DF did that several years ago.

You'd think he would have learned his lesson. He is terrible about locking his keys in his car and does it every couple of months. I have his spare key, and I've had to go unlock his car for him more times than I can count. I told him that his next car had better have Onstar and automatic locks so he can call them to pop his locks for him.

Though he did sign up for AAA after the last time, when he had to call me at 11:30 at night to go unlock his car. He works 45 minutes away, and I had just gone to bed when he called. I was NOT happy. Now he calls them when he locks his keys in his car.

have you ever thought to put a "spare key" in his wallet?

if he has a car alarm that automatically unlocks his car with a keypad remote thing and you have the spare keypad remote....he could just call you and you beep yours through the phone and it would unlock his car...hope that made sense...and yes that really works

Snopes says false on that.  http://www.snopes.com/autos/techno/keyless.asp
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: LadyClaire on May 19, 2009, 06:47:24 AM
If you are out of state on a business trip, and you lock your keys in your car at 12:00 AM, and the security guard is nice enough to pick the lock for you and let you into your car despite the fact that it's against company policy to do so...

Do not turn around and lock your keys in your car 15 minutes later.

DF did that several years ago.

You'd think he would have learned his lesson. He is terrible about locking his keys in his car and does it every couple of months. I have his spare key, and I've had to go unlock his car for him more times than I can count. I told him that his next car had better have Onstar and automatic locks so he can call them to pop his locks for him.

Though he did sign up for AAA after the last time, when he had to call me at 11:30 at night to go unlock his car. He works 45 minutes away, and I had just gone to bed when he called. I was NOT happy. Now he calls them when he locks his keys in his car.

have you ever thought to put a "spare key" in his wallet?

if he has a car alarm that automatically unlocks his car with a keypad remote thing and you have the spare keypad remote....he could just call you and you beep yours through the phone and it would unlock his car...hope that made sense...and yes that really works

Snopes says false on that.  http://www.snopes.com/autos/techno/keyless.asp

Yeah, a friend of DF's tried it with his truck several times..didn't work at all.

Besides, DF doesn't have automatic locks.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: zoidberg on May 19, 2009, 10:18:59 AM
If you're currently pregnant and thus too rotund to fit into your pant suit pants, but too cheap to buy a maternity pant suit, and it happens to be one of the 5 or so times a year where you *have* to wear a pant suit:

Fastening your pants with a safety pin is indeed a genius alternative. No one can tell the difference and you're feeling fine.

Until you sit down and notice that the safety pin has become not so safe by coming undone, poking you in the belly and giving you an involuntary amniocentesis. Yeah, ouch!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Suze on May 19, 2009, 10:36:24 AM
nischi - that is why you keep DIAPER pins around - even if you don't use diapers

they don't unlatch themselves

No kids - but I have bought many packs of diaper pins......
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: CuriousParty on May 19, 2009, 10:41:41 AM
If you're currently pregnant and thus too rotund to fit into your pant suit pants, but too cheap to buy a maternity pant suit, and it happens to be one of the 5 or so times a year where you *have* to wear a pant suit:

Fastening your pants with a safety pin is indeed a genius alternative. No one can tell the difference and you're feeling fine.

Until you sit down and notice that the safety pin has become not so safe by coming undone, poking you in the belly and giving you an involuntary amniocentesis. Yeah, ouch!

Ponytail holder, looped around the button, slipped through the button hole then looped around the button again.  Effective and flexible for late-in-the-day bloat.  Also not sharp :)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Nimblicity on May 19, 2009, 10:54:09 AM
If you're currently pregnant and thus too rotund to fit into your pant suit pants, but too cheap to buy a maternity pant suit, and it happens to be one of the 5 or so times a year where you *have* to wear a pant suit:

Fastening your pants with a safety pin is indeed a genius alternative. No one can tell the difference and you're feeling fine.

Until you sit down and notice that the safety pin has become not so safe by coming undone, poking you in the belly and giving you an involuntary amniocentesis. Yeah, ouch!

Ponytail holder, looped around the button, slipped through the button hole then looped around the button again.  Effective and flexible for late-in-the-day bloat.  Also not sharp :)

Genius!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Dindrane on May 19, 2009, 11:27:23 AM
There is also the possibility of buying maternity pants that match the suit jacket, and calling it good.  I can understanding not wanting to buy a whole new suit that's only good for pregnancy...but those pants would probably get a fair amount of mileage. :)

But the rubber band trick is pretty good, too. :D
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Grape on May 19, 2009, 02:35:05 PM
Don't they make those wrap things that you can put over the top of your pants to hold them?

http://www.ingridandisabel.com/bellaband.html (http://www.ingridandisabel.com/bellaband.html)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: CG on May 21, 2009, 10:38:35 PM
When cutting a thick pile of papers with scissors, don't hold it flat with your other hand right down by where you're going to cut next.

I won't post pictures of my finger, to protect the squeamish.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Dazi on May 25, 2009, 07:51:08 AM
Don't have a minor meltdown when the kitchen sink isn't draining...only to discover that it is not draining because you have not taken the drain stopper out   ::) 

crazy PMS hormones were involved in the meltdown and apparently I cried because I was acting like my mother...DH got a really good laugh and hugged me until I stopped...did I mention the crazy hormones ???
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: dawbs on May 25, 2009, 09:13:49 AM
This could have ended badly....

When using a chainsaw to cut a tree into smaller bits of tree, make sure the chain has STOPPED completely before you move the saw from in front of you to dangling by your side.

Luckily it only cost a pair of jeans...not even a scratch because God takes care of fools and children.  ;)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Hushabye on May 25, 2009, 12:25:11 PM
When attempting to substitute a filet knife for an exacto knife, do not leave the filet knife lying around on the floor after you realize, 'Hey, stupid, this is NOT going to work!'  Especially when you run around your apartment barefoot.

The only reason I didn't step on it is because I left it lying so close to the printer.  I had to step over it to step over the printer to get to the kitchen.

Also, filet knife =/= exacto knife.  Just go to WalMart or wherever and buy a new one.  :D
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Hushabye on May 25, 2009, 12:27:45 PM
In addition, pay attention to the local wildlife.  If there are baby blue jays in the tree next to your patio, they will fly onto and poop on your patio furniture.  Even if you were planning on doing some very arts-craftsy stuff on your patio furniture.  Do not assemble your wedding programs out there because the baby blue jay will poop on them.

I just found this out; good thing it was only the test run!!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: whylime13 on May 25, 2009, 12:30:39 PM
wow land fish lover - sounds like you are experiencing some wacky pre-wedding hijinx.   
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Hushabye on May 25, 2009, 04:15:56 PM
It's just been one of those days... I've been to WalMart at least three times since 8:45 this morning, this last time because I ran out of spray adhesive.  *laughs*  On the bright side, I'm just about completely packed and ready to go once I finish the last twenty programs and they all dry.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: bopper on May 27, 2009, 10:38:03 AM
In addition, pay attention to the local wildlife.  If there are baby blue jays in the tree next to your patio, they will fly onto and poop on your patio furniture.  Even if you were planning on doing some very arts-craftsy stuff on your patio furniture.  Do not assemble your wedding programs out there because the baby blue jay will poop on them.

I just found this out; good thing it was only the test run!!
Of course we all must know: 

Is baby blue jay poo blue?
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: hobish on May 27, 2009, 02:23:59 PM

When your ferret is about to poo in a non-approved place do not pick him up and reach over your girlfriend to put him in an approved place.

"I'm sorry i threw poo on you" is high on the list of things Gish never thought he would have to say to me.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: HeebyJeebyLeebee on May 27, 2009, 05:51:00 PM
When filling your new 1K gallon pool on the deck, be sure the deck can handle the weight of 1K gallons and several adults.  Our pool wasn't even half full when part of the deck collapsed.   ::)  (yes, we were in it - it was hot!)

Luckily, it's not like it was really high off the ground (just a few inches).  And my Pops is really handy and will hopefully (with a few bribes of beer & grilled meats) help us reinforce the deck. 
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: blue2000 on May 27, 2009, 06:16:33 PM
My brother did something similar. He put his new (small) blow-up pool on his brand new deck, and filled it. It didn't collapse, but he noticed after a few days that the deck was sinking. :-X

He very quickly moved the pool to the lawn.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: HeebyJeebyLeebee on May 27, 2009, 06:33:46 PM
Pops just called me and recommended disassembling that side of the deck entirely and laying sand down to create a soft underneath for the pool. 

So I'll ask the landlord if we can take down the "bad" half of the deck.  I don't think he'll mind.  A previous tenant built the deck. 
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: M-theory on May 28, 2009, 02:25:47 AM
If you bring a big, study canvas tote to the store to carry your groceries, and are carrying it on your arm, the correct answer to "Do you want a bag for this?" when being checked out is "No thank you." Extra points if you don't notice until you're out of the store.  ::)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Gwywnnydd on May 28, 2009, 03:13:44 PM
If you bring a big, study canvas tote to the store to carry your groceries, and are carrying it on your arm, the correct answer to "Do you want a bag for this?" when being checked out is "No thank you." Extra points if you don't notice until you're out of the store.  ::)
I can neither confirm nor deny whether I have done this myself...
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: momof2weenies on May 28, 2009, 04:23:27 PM
And if you go so far as to purchase a dozen reusable grocery bags, it helps if you put them back in the car after unloading groceries, so you have them for the next shopping trip.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: magicdomino on May 28, 2009, 04:41:29 PM
When filling your new 1K gallon pool on the deck, be sure the deck can handle the weight of 1K gallons and several adults.  Our pool wasn't even half full when part of the deck collapsed.   ::)  (yes, we were in it - it was hot!)


One gallon of water weighs 10 pounds.  Something to consider with both swimming pools and large aquariums.,  Just because that old TV stand held a TV, doesn't mean it can hold a 29 gallon aquarium.  (NOTE:  No fish were harmed in the creation of this fiasco due to prompt rescue at the first alarming cracking noise.  The aquarium, however, developed a nasty leak when it became lopsided, and the TV stand didn't do so well either.  :) )
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Nimblicity on May 29, 2009, 02:34:12 AM
When filling your new 1K gallon pool on the deck, be sure the deck can handle the weight of 1K gallons and several adults.  Our pool wasn't even half full when part of the deck collapsed.   ::)  (yes, we were in it - it was hot!)


One gallon of water weighs 10 pounds.  Something to consider with both swimming pools and large aquariums.,  Just because that old TV stand held a TV, doesn't mean it can hold a 29 gallon aquarium.  (NOTE:  No fish were harmed in the creation of this fiasco due to prompt rescue at the first alarming cracking noise.  The aquarium, however, developed a nasty leak when it became lopsided, and the TV stand didn't do so well either.  :) )

Not eight?  "A pint's a pound the world around [as long as you're in America]" is what my dad taught me.  But yeah.  Heavier than you'd think.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Slartibartfast on May 29, 2009, 02:38:46 AM
When filling your new 1K gallon pool on the deck, be sure the deck can handle the weight of 1K gallons and several adults.  Our pool wasn't even half full when part of the deck collapsed.   ::)  (yes, we were in it - it was hot!)


One gallon of water weighs 10 pounds.  Something to consider with both swimming pools and large aquariums.,  Just because that old TV stand held a TV, doesn't mean it can hold a 29 gallon aquarium.  (NOTE:  No fish were harmed in the creation of this fiasco due to prompt rescue at the first alarming cracking noise.  The aquarium, however, developed a nasty leak when it became lopsided, and the TV stand didn't do so well either.  :) )

Not eight?  "A pint's a pound the world around [as long as you're in America]" is what my dad taught me.  But yeah.  Heavier than you'd think.

Water is a special case - 16 fluid ounces of water is the same as 16 regular ounces, i.e. one pint of water weighs one pound.  Other fluids are different weights :)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: crankycat on May 29, 2009, 01:11:06 PM


One gallon of water weighs 10 pounds
[/quote]

Not eight?  "A pint's a pound the world around [as long as you're in America]" is what my dad taught me.  But yeah.  Heavier than you'd think.
[/quote]

I brew beer at home and have read in many sources that water is 8 lb./gallon.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: magicdomino on May 29, 2009, 02:20:18 PM


One gallon of water weighs 10 pounds

Not eight?  "A pint's a pound the world around [as long as you're in America]" is what my dad taught me.  But yeah.  Heavier than you'd think.
[/quote]

I brew beer at home and have read in many sources that water is 8 lb./gallon.
[/quote]

Okay, I Googled it.  On Wiki answers, it said that one U.S. gallon weighs 8.34 gallons, and one of the old UK Imperial gallons weighs 10 pounds.  My old aquarium books either were written in the UK or they rounded up in case novice fish-keepers had trouble with multiplication.  Better safe than sorry when you are dealing with a glass box full of water.   :)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Hillia on May 29, 2009, 05:50:47 PM
I thought of this thread a little while ago.

Now that I am the High Goddess of the Pressure Washer at my house, I decided to do the swing that's hangin under our deck. Worked great except of course the water pressure made the swing move around, so I thought maybe I should take it down. Except I couldn't reach the hooks. Hey! I'll just stand ON THE SWING to reach them!

Oh, right, that's probably a bad idea.

When I was about 19, I was repainting a bathroom for my mom.  It had a sheet mirror held on the wall with those plastic rosettes and screws.

Since it was a small bathroom, I just got up on the counter with my screwdriver and went to town.  Of course, I did the top screws first.  I had no idea how heavy a 4'x6' mirror is until it fell away from the wall, snapped off the last screw, and fell on me.  I was knocked to the floor as the mirror shattered all around me.  By some miracle, I got only a few minor scratches and embedded splinters.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Linley on May 29, 2009, 06:51:25 PM
And my addition, don't store flour and powdered sugar in similar containers.  We had to throw out the pizza dough...

This is why my dad once fixed fried fish battered not in cornmeal, but in grits.  Oy.

My addition:  if you need crushed cornflakes for a recipe and you decide to crush them in the original bag, be sure you open the bag slightly before attempting to squish them.  It was like cornflake snow...

Oh yes!  When camping, be sure to properly label all food materials.  Yellow cake batter looks identical to powdered cheesy mashed potatoes when in an unlabeled plastic bag.  And as a side note, cake made using powdered cheesy mashed potatoes instead of yellow cake batter is not bad, but definitely not cake.

And powdered potatoes are also not the same as powdered milk. Cereal with mashed potatoes taste distinctly odd.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Pinky830 on May 29, 2009, 07:07:01 PM
I thought of this thread a little while ago.

Now that I am the High Goddess of the Pressure Washer at my house, I decided to do the swing that's hangin under our deck. Worked great except of course the water pressure made the swing move around, so I thought maybe I should take it down. Except I couldn't reach the hooks. Hey! I'll just stand ON THE SWING to reach them!

Oh, right, that's probably a bad idea.

When I was about 19, I was repainting a bathroom for my mom.  It had a sheet mirror held on the wall with those plastic rosettes and screws.

Since it was a small bathroom, I just got up on the counter with my screwdriver and went to town.  Of course, I did the top screws first.  I had no idea how heavy a 4'x6' mirror is until it fell away from the wall, snapped off the last screw, and fell on me.  I was knocked to the floor as the mirror shattered all around me.  By some miracle, I got only a few minor scratches and embedded splinters.

Oh geez, I had a close call with that very thing once. Just as the darn thing started to tip away from the wall I realized I was doing something very, very dangerous and caught it with my hands. Yikes. Glad you were OK.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Samantha on May 29, 2009, 07:23:37 PM
And powdered potatoes are also not the same as powdered milk. Cereal with mashed potatoes taste distinctly odd.

This reminds me of the story my Grandma told about one of my Aunts. Aunt was VERY recently married, and cooking dinner for her husband. She was making real mashed potatoes (instead of potatoes from a box), and put in too much milk, so they were runny. Instead of CALLING Grandma to ask for help (which would have meant admitting to her husband that she couldn't cook), she thought about it for a few minutes, and realized that she'd seen Grandma pour something into her potatoes when she had this problem. Aunt grabbed a canister and shook something into the potatoes until they thickened up nicely, and then told her husband that dinner was ready.

My uncle took one bite of the potatoes and paused... then resumed eating. Aunt tried them, and she too kept eating, puzzled. After the dishes were put away, he asked my Aunt what on earth she had done to the potatoes. She told him, and couldn't understand why he started laughing and told her to call her mother to tell her the story. She called Grandma, told her, and Grandma started to laugh too.

Aunt never paid attention when Grandma was trying to teach her to cook... and when Grandma taught her to cook, she taught her potatoes and breaded pork chops on the same night. Aunt had put FLOUR in the mashed potatoes to thicken them... not realizing that Grandma had used boxed potatoes to thicken the real ones when they were runny.

My uncle took over cooking duty for awhile, teaching my Aunt to cook his (and her) favorite meals. She is now an excellent cook! But the family still teases her about the flour potatoes, over 40 years later. :)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: otterwoman on June 02, 2009, 01:33:50 PM
From a former coworker:

When pulled over for speeding in Atlanta Georgia, do not, for the love of your deity of choice, say to the sheriff when he says, "Boy, no one goes speeding through Atlanta";

...wait for it...

"Sherman did."

Especially if you have Northern plates.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: kitty-cat on June 02, 2009, 01:53:04 PM
otterwoman- What happened to your coworker?  And did your coworker have an urge for a mega-ticket?
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: otterwoman on June 02, 2009, 02:10:49 PM
Actually, it was his friend that did that. I think the friend just a smart mouth and no brain to mouth filter. When he told us the story, we all just about died laughing.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: MrsJWine on June 02, 2009, 03:18:56 PM
If you are a clumsy sort of person, don't pick up a meat fork by the shiny end.  You'll drop it and then try to catch it with that same hand, and that's never good.  My thumb is nodding in agreement as I type this.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Nimblicity on June 03, 2009, 02:07:19 AM

Quote
One gallon of water weighs 10 pounds. 

Not eight?  "A pint's a pound the world around [as long as you're in America]" is what my dad taught me.  But yeah.  Heavier than you'd think.

I brew beer at home and have read in many sources that water is 8 lb./gallon.

Okay, I Googled it.  On Wiki answers, it said that one U.S. gallon weighs 8.34 gallons, and one of the old UK Imperial gallons weighs 10 pounds.  My old aquarium books either were written in the UK or they rounded up in case novice fish-keepers had trouble with multiplication.  Better safe than sorry when you are dealing with a glass box full of water.   :)

Ah, see, I didn't consider the difference in British and American gallons.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Pinky830 on June 10, 2009, 11:40:57 AM
From a former coworker:

When pulled over for speeding in Atlanta Georgia, do not, for the love of your deity of choice, say to the sheriff when he says, "Boy, no one goes speeding through Atlanta";

...wait for it...

"Sherman did."

Especially if you have Northern plates.

If he was pulled over in Gwinnett County, believe me, he was about to get a ticket no matter what he said or where his plates were from. Gwinnett County police mean serious business. Come to think of it, so do Fulton and Cobb counties.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: bigozzy on June 11, 2009, 04:14:40 AM
From a former coworker:

When pulled over for speeding in Atlanta Georgia, do not, for the love of your deity of choice, say to the sheriff when he says, "Boy, no one goes speeding through Atlanta";

...wait for it...

"Sherman did."

Especially if you have Northern plates.


I may have put this elsewhere but the above reminds me of it:

Several years ago I was with a group of lads driving home from work. It was late (we worked at a pub) and we were pulled over for a breath test by Queensland's finest.

When the officer asked the driver to blow in the bag (before the digital readers they use now) I leant over and asked:

"Why, are your chips (fries) hot officer?"

It was funny when it was in my head but that policeman had no sense of humour at 1am and had us all get out while he checked the car thoroughly.

I was also once threatened with arrest for singing Christmas carols badly while walking home form work on Christmas eve one year.

I think he was joking.

Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: vorbau on June 11, 2009, 10:41:01 PM
If you wear a perfume containing bergamot, do not wear it in the sun. I now have the weirdest sunburn you've ever seen - giant red splotches where the perfume was, nothing anywhere else. Sunscreen protected the areas WITHOUT the perfume.

Live and learn ...
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Hushabye on June 16, 2009, 10:23:43 AM
On the topic of sunburns and tan lines...

When out in an open top kayak, apply sunscrean all over.  If you hop in the ocean to cool off before hopping in the kayak, reapply said sunscreen to your legs, not just your arms and back.  If you do not do this, you will have very lovely red streaks up the fronts of your legs from where the ocean water washed off all the sunscreen.  Also, wear a ball cap instead of sunglasses on this trip, otherwise you look like a reverse raccoon.

Secondly, try to avoid shoes with criss-crossing straps when you're going to be out in the sun.  Your feet wind up looking like zebras.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Dindrane on June 16, 2009, 12:29:36 PM
On that same note, when you are very pale and spending all day on the beach, don't forget to apply sunscreen to the tops of your feet and your ankles.

Sunburned ankles/feet make wearing shoes very difficult!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: caranfin on June 16, 2009, 12:57:10 PM
"Boy, no one goes speeding through Atlanta";


Based on my experience, everyone goes speeding through Atlanta.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Team HoundMom on June 16, 2009, 01:26:15 PM
On that same note, when you are very pale and spending all day on the beach, don't forget to apply sunscreen to the tops of your feet and your ankles.

....and if you plan to spend the day at the beach in Texas on a windy day, *don't* use aerosol sunscreen.  It will just blow away and not stick to your skin.  Especially if you are pale, red-haired and freckled.  And then the security guy at the airport will take away your Solarcaine.  >:( :'(  Trust me, a Gulf of Mexico sunburn is PAINFUL!!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Dazi on June 16, 2009, 05:44:10 PM
On that same note, when you are very pale and spending all day on the beach, don't forget to apply sunscreen to the tops of your feet and your ankles.

....and if you plan to spend the day at the beach in Texas on a windy day, *don't* use aerosol sunscreen.  It will just blow away and not stick to your skin.  Especially if you are pale, red-haired and freckled.  And then the security guy at the airport will take away your Solarcaine.  >:( :'(  Trust me, a Gulf of Mexico sunburn is PAINFUL!!

Also do your scalp if you have really short hair or the line where you part your hair if you are not wearing a hat.   Sunburned heads really hurt   :-[
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Dindrane on June 16, 2009, 06:04:01 PM
Also do your scalp if you have really short hair or the line where you part your hair if you are not wearing a hat.   Sunburned heads really hurt   :-[

Especially the first time you brush or comb your hair before you realize it's sunburned!  This is one of the main reasons why I try to wear a hat whenever I'm going to spend a lot of time in the sun.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Suze on June 16, 2009, 06:10:31 PM
you know I don't think that I have ever had sunburn on my scalp.

hair is too thick

the funniest sunburn I had was when I wore my hair pinned up on one side and left the other side down.   I had a lovely line down the middle of my neck in the back.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: dawbs on June 16, 2009, 08:06:52 PM
Also do your scalp if you have really short hair or the line where you part your hair if you are not wearing a hat.   Sunburned heads really hurt   :-[

Especially the first time you brush or comb your hair before you realize it's sunburned!  This is one of the main reasons why I try to wear a hat whenever I'm going to spend a lot of time in the sun.
Goes double or triple if you have 'strange' parts in your hair--if you add cornrows to your hair, you're adding parts where you've never had a base tan before...it burns faster and worse than the rest of the scalp.
(however, some very nice scalp sunblocks DO exist--it just take some looking to find them.)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Xallanthia on June 17, 2009, 07:10:43 AM
Also do your scalp if you have really short hair or the line where you part your hair if you are not wearing a hat.   Sunburned heads really hurt   :-[

Especially the first time you brush or comb your hair before you realize it's sunburned!  This is one of the main reasons why I try to wear a hat whenever I'm going to spend a lot of time in the sun.
Goes double or triple if you have 'strange' parts in your hair--if you add cornrows to your hair, you're adding parts where you've never had a base tan before...it burns faster and worse than the rest of the scalp.
(however, some very nice scalp sunblocks DO exist--it just take some looking to find them.)

I learned this one the hard way in the Caribbean!  Peeling scalp is a weird and disgusting feeling.  I'd advise, if you do something like this, wearing a hat or kerchief over your hair for a few days as well as sunscreen, especially noon to four when the sun is worst.  You really want to build that skin up slowly!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Peggy Gus on June 17, 2009, 07:49:34 AM
Also do your scalp if you have really short hair or the line where you part your hair if you are not wearing a hat.   Sunburned heads really hurt   :-[

Especially the first time you brush or comb your hair before you realize it's sunburned!  This is one of the main reasons why I try to wear a hat whenever I'm going to spend a lot of time in the sun.

Speaking of sunburns, if you are outside working (bending over and planting) either make sure your shirt is long enough or apply sunscreen to that 2 inch space above your pants. I had a 2 inch sunburn all the way across my lower back and it hurt like heck.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: VorFemme on June 17, 2009, 10:01:31 AM
On that same note, when you are very pale and spending all day on the beach, don't forget to apply sunscreen to the tops of your feet and your ankles.

....and if you plan to spend the day at the beach in Texas on a windy day, *don't* use aerosol sunscreen.  It will just blow away and not stick to your skin.  Especially if you are pale, red-haired and freckled.  And then the security guy at the airport will take away your Solarcaine.  >:( :'(  Trust me, a Gulf of Mexico sunburn is PAINFUL!!

And avoid standing next to another group while you are doing it.  Or let them know that you are about to so no one will get it in their eyes and mouth.............my birthday, Galveston, waiting for my sister to join DS and I so we could leave.  That stuff burns the eyes and tastes really horrid.................but I had to ask her to not do that so close to me as it was getting into my face for her to realize.............and move over a foot..............while I shut my eyes and turned my back to her so at least the next spritz wouldn't go directly into my mouth.

She did "apologize" as in she used the term - but she was still upwind while spraying away.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: hermanne on June 17, 2009, 12:26:08 PM
On that same note, when you are very pale and spending all day on the beach, don't forget to apply sunscreen to the tops of your feet and your ankles.

....and if you plan to spend the day at the beach in Texas on a windy day, *don't* use aerosol sunscreen.  It will just blow away and not stick to your skin.  Especially if you are pale, red-haired and freckled.  And then the security guy at the airport will take away your Solarcaine.  >:( :'(  Trust me, a Gulf of Mexico sunburn is PAINFUL!!

Also do your scalp if you have really short hair or the line where you part your hair if you are not wearing a hat.   Sunburned heads really hurt   :-[

Reminds me of my dad's cousin. He's bald, and wears a baseball hat when he's outside working. He then ends up with a sunburn through the little vent-holes in the hat!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: M-theory on July 14, 2009, 12:05:35 PM
Freshly pedicured feet + hardwood floor=very nearly went thud.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: pierrotlunaire0 on July 19, 2009, 01:01:27 PM
Freshly pedicured feet + hardwood floor=very nearly went thud.


I once had a roommate who cleaned a hardwood floor by buffing it with Lemon Pledge.  And then, as I lay on the floor in agony, she came running up and tried to pull me to my feet immediately.  I had to beg her to leave me alone so I could determine if I had broken the arm she was so urgently yanking on (I hadn't, but in the initial shock I couldn't tell).
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Sirius on July 19, 2009, 06:00:58 PM

Reminds me of my dad's cousin. He's bald, and wears a baseball hat when he's outside working. He then ends up with a sunburn through the little vent-holes in the hat!

Mr. Sirius wears one of those driving caps when he's outside, since he's bald on top.  There was one time when he ended up doing something outside when he was in the Air Force, and he didn't have his hat because of what he was doing.  His head got sunburned, and he said it hurt worse to put his had on after his head was sunburned. 

(One of the requirements of the Air Force duffel was a comb.  The one Mr. Sirius had in his bag was an almost toothless relic he'd found in his car, but since he really didn't need it he was allowed to keep that one instead of replacing it.)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Eris Historia on August 04, 2009, 05:45:08 PM
My younger brother decided to help my mother clean one day, so he wanted to help her dust. The only problem is that the thing he dusted was our staircase and second-floor landing, with hardwood floors, with Pledge. It took my mother, my older sister, and myself falling down the first set of stairs before he told us what he did. And unfortunately, for me, that did not learn me, as I fell down the stairs at least weekly, if not more, for two months because I just could not remember not to run down the stairs or on the landing.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: snowfire on August 06, 2009, 09:40:49 PM
Don't use your thumb to try to clear the jammed zucchini out of the mandolin slicer!!!! :o :o :o

Don't ask me how I know...........
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: MrsJWine on August 06, 2009, 10:22:08 PM
Don't open an inward-swinging door very fast when there's a baby playing in that room.   :'( and  :-[  Bad mom!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: MrsO on August 07, 2009, 03:09:16 AM
Don't open an inward-swinging door very fast when there's a baby playing in that room.   :'( and  :-[  Bad mom!
Don't worry. BTDT (not with BabyO, but when LittleO1 was a baby, she had a huge bruise on her forehead because of it). Also, I did it to a budgie once, the budgie died.  :'(
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: bigozzy on August 07, 2009, 08:47:25 AM
My sons learnt from an early age not to stand too close to dad when he is talking animatedly (which is most of the time).

I tend to wave my hands around a lot at small child head level.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: purplemuse on September 30, 2009, 01:14:11 PM
Wherever you are, no matter what you're doing, never cut off your only route to the bathroom.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Bluenomi on September 30, 2009, 06:19:23 PM
Wherever you are, no matter what you're doing, never cut off your only route to the bathroom.

That could end badly...
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: whylime13 on September 30, 2009, 10:25:00 PM
Wherever you are, no matter what you're doing, never cut off your only route to the bathroom.

lol I remember the time I decided to rearrange the furniture in my apartment bedroom by myself.  I managed to move the dresser out of the way to move the bed to where the dresser used to be.  But I couldn't move the bed all at once so I took off the mattress and box springs and started on the frame when my arms just stopped working.  I was boxed in (door closed), there was no floor space anywhere, and I had to go.  Things got pretty desperate before I escaped.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: White Dragon on September 30, 2009, 11:12:19 PM
Wherever you are, no matter what you're doing, never cut off your only route to the bathroom.

That could end badly...

Or result in a badly end...
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Kath68 on October 01, 2009, 01:24:43 AM
My DH commented the other day, that the inside corner of your eye wrinkles up when you wink. I wondered if it wrinkled when you closed both eyes. In order to find out, I faced the mirror and closed both eyes.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: geordicat on October 01, 2009, 06:22:45 AM
My DH commented the other day, that the inside corner of your eye wrinkles up when you wink. I wondered if it wrinkled when you closed both eyes. In order to find out, I faced the mirror and closed both eyes.

So.... did it work?    ;)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: White Dragon on October 01, 2009, 06:02:41 PM
We bought a GPS for the car.

While on a road trip, I remarked mischeviously that I knew why it "talked" to the driver.

"Why?" asked 14 yo dd.

"So that visually impaired drivers can hear the instructions."

"Oh, that makes sense," she replied.

Yeah, we laughed for a while about that, especially once she figured it out.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: The Opinionator on October 03, 2009, 12:04:24 AM
Things that should never be on the floor, for you may step on them and it will end up badly: light bulbs. Ouch!

In my defence, I forgot the box there after changing the one in my lamp. Not that that makes more sense, unless you're me.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: M-theory on October 12, 2009, 09:35:33 PM
BG: Today was Thanksgiving in Canada, where I live.
BG2: I live in a large house divided up into 4-5 apartments. The smoke alarms are linked so that if it goes off in one apartment, the others follow suit.

I was in the shower at about 4:30 PM when the smoke alarm went off. I don't own a bathrobe, it was chilly outside (by native Dallasite standards :P) and I was still completely covered in clove-scented suds.

So I ignored it. Because it's an alarm going off slightly before dinner on Thanksgiving. It's like the one day/time slot of the year when someone in a building of more than 2 people is almost guaranteed to burn something.

When I got out of the shower, the cat was there to give me a look like "Congratulations on your pending Darwin Award."
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Alida on October 12, 2009, 10:28:18 PM
You mean I am not the only one who did the apricot trick?  They tasted so good (like candy!), but I thought I was going to die.

Ditto! It made labor seem like nothing!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Slartibartfast on October 12, 2009, 10:29:07 PM
I thought of this thread again today.  The convergence of a) my birthday, b) me having the flu and being knocked flat for the last two days, and c) Babybartfast not having a single clean sippy cup in the house, all led to DH finally stepping up and doing the dishes that he had been avoiding for the last week.  And then putting dish soap in the dishwasher instead of using dishwasher detergent.

I was having a really hard time not saying "See?  This is why you need to do dishes more often!"
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: hobish on October 14, 2009, 04:28:29 PM
I thought of this thread again today.  The convergence of a) my birthday, b) me having the flu and being knocked flat for the last two days, and c) Babybartfast not having a single clean sippy cup in the house, all led to DH finally stepping up and doing the dishes that he had been avoiding for the last week.  And then putting dish soap in the dishwasher instead of using dishwasher detergent.

I was having a really hard time not saying "See?  This is why you need to do dishes more often!"

Hee hee! Gish did that a few weeks ago and he has been doing dishes for years. Come to think of it, he did that in our old apartment once, too. Oh, well, at least the kitchen floor gets cleaned when all the suds come pouring out. :)

Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Squeaks on October 14, 2009, 04:59:33 PM
I thought of this thread again today.  The convergence of a) my birthday, b) me having the flu and being knocked flat for the last two days, and c) Babybartfast not having a single clean sippy cup in the house, all led to DH finally stepping up and doing the dishes that he had been avoiding for the last week.  And then putting dish soap in the dishwasher instead of using dishwasher detergent.

I was having a really hard time not saying "See?  This is why you need to do dishes more often!"

Hee hee! Gish did that a few weeks ago and he has been doing dishes for years. Come to think of it, he did that in our old apartment once, too. Oh, well, at least the kitchen floor gets cleaned when all the suds come pouring out. :)




And if you go back to page 5 second to last post and keep reading from there. . . you will see that this thread has come full circle it seems.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Animala on October 14, 2009, 11:55:31 PM
You mean I am not the only one who did the apricot trick?  They tasted so good (like candy!), but I thought I was going to die.

Ditto! It made labor seem like nothing!

OK, I have a very odd system. I can eat prunes and raisins till the cows come home and they have absolutely no effect on my system.  I purchased some dried apricots to try out a recipe and tried them.  Half a bag and a bit later I thought I was going to die.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Animala on October 15, 2009, 12:02:28 AM
For the love of Pete, if you may have a problem with your vehicle do not use the drive through bank especially if you are very round woman.



About a month ago I my truck died in the drive through lane.  I know how to fix it, but I had to pour my large bulk between the door, which was wedged against the thing that goes in to the bank and the frame of the truck.  Since the truck is also tall I had the benefit of gravity on my side.  Much to the tellers amusement I emerged with a hammer.  I reached back in and popped the hood, went around front and hammered in the right spot.  Thankfully the kid was with me so he slid over and made sure it started.  Then the hard part came.  Hauling this short, round form back in to my high pick up in a few inches of space. (No the other side wasn't any better.)  I'm half sure there is a video floating around the internet somewhere.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: M-theory on October 15, 2009, 01:48:37 PM
All the dried fruit stories have me crying with laughter, and toilet humour doesn't usually do it for me.

Mine for the day/week:

1) If your contact solution (hydrogen peroxide) needs 6 hours to neutralize when your contacts are soaking in it, splashing some into your eye while filling the soaking reservoir is to be avoided.

2) If you absolutely must take a muscle relaxant for your back spasm, don't bother trying to do anything other than go to bed. All you'll achieve is smacking into walls, spilling things on yourself, and making anyone who drops by think the zombie apocalypse has begun.

3) If your SO finds your tendency to get the hiccups hilarious, telling him what you think of his ancestry and scrabble habits while still hiccuping isn't going to carry much venom...
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: RegionMom on October 15, 2009, 10:39:16 PM
When walking through a storm door that has been at your front door for eight years, do not suddenly decide to only gently pull it open and enter the house one step up --the shorter distance the storm door has to travel to close will hit you smack on the ankle and immediateky shave off skin and draw blood on your back heel. 
OUCH!!!
(needed DH to help me clean it off and put on the largest bandage bandaid we had!!  He took the kids to dinner since I could only hobble to fix dinner.   blood soaked thru the band-aid, but I can walk ok today.  No heels or anything but slip on shoes with no backing for a while, tho.  :( )
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Punky B. on October 16, 2009, 11:45:58 AM
1) If your contact solution (hydrogen peroxide) needs 6 hours to neutralize when your contacts are soaking in it, splashing some into your eye while filling the soaking reservoir is to be avoided.


Likewise, if your contact container has tipped over so the solution has not neutralized correctly, don't put one in your eye anyway.  You will have to peel your eye open to get the contact out, and the burning will continue for a while.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: purplemuse on October 16, 2009, 01:00:33 PM
1) If your contact solution (hydrogen peroxide) needs 6 hours to neutralize when your contacts are soaking in it, splashing some into your eye while filling the soaking reservoir is to be avoided.


Likewise, if your contact container has tipped over so the solution has not neutralized correctly, don't put one in your eye anyway.  You will have to peel your eye open to get the contact out, and the burning will continue for a while.

Owie owie owie!  Eye pain is terrible!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Alida on October 16, 2009, 10:40:06 PM
Don't seed jalapenos with your bare hands and THEN put in your contacts.

I wore my glasses to Easter service that morning and everyone wondered why I was so red-eyed...
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: MrsJWine on October 16, 2009, 10:44:46 PM
When you've been sick for a week, and your kid hasn't slept reliably in three months (my champion sleeper!  where did she go??), and you're cooking dinner, don't keep your water glass and the soy sauce right next to each other on the counter.   :-X
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: rhirhi on October 17, 2009, 12:56:31 AM
I recently purchased a cashmere-blend hoodie that's labeled "machine washable".

As it turns out, some things are only "machine washable" if you're not counting the integrity of whatever you wash with it. My black velvet skirt came out looking like it had some sort of fluffy purple disease. ::) Good thing duct tape makes a good lint remover - is there anything duct tape CAN'T do?


Mythbusters JUST did an episode about this- I know they successfully shot a cannon with 1in think duct tape instead of a steel backing plate. And that they were building a boat- didn't see the end of that part, though.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: RingTailedLemur on October 17, 2009, 05:15:37 PM
I recently purchased a cashmere-blend hoodie that's labeled "machine washable".

As it turns out, some things are only "machine washable" if you're not counting the integrity of whatever you wash with it. My black velvet skirt came out looking like it had some sort of fluffy purple disease. ::) Good thing duct tape makes a good lint remover - is there anything duct tape CAN'T do?


Mythbusters JUST did an episode about this- I know they successfully shot a cannon with 1in think duct tape instead of a steel backing plate. And that they were building a boat- didn't see the end of that part, though.

The boat worked very well :)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: rhirhi on October 17, 2009, 07:04:51 PM
I recently purchased a cashmere-blend hoodie that's labeled "machine washable".

As it turns out, some things are only "machine washable" if you're not counting the integrity of whatever you wash with it. My black velvet skirt came out looking like it had some sort of fluffy purple disease. ::) Good thing duct tape makes a good lint remover - is there anything duct tape CAN'T do?


Mythbusters JUST did an episode about this- I know they successfully shot a cannon with 1in think duct tape instead of a steel backing plate. And that they were building a boat- didn't see the end of that part, though.

The boat worked very well :)

AWESOME!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Animala on October 17, 2009, 07:18:30 PM
2) If you absolutely must take a muscle relaxant for your back spasm, don't bother trying to do anything other than go to bed. All you'll achieve is smacking into walls, spilling things on yourself, and making anyone who drops by think the zombie apocalypse has begun.


BTDT and wondering why hands won't move around the pegs on my knitting loom.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: workingmum on October 19, 2009, 02:01:18 AM
Also, furniture polish doesn't kill ants if you spray it into the hole where you think the nest is! It just makes alot of pissed-off ants swarm out of the hole.

Ya, but at least now you have SHINY pissed-off ants.
Lemon scented, too!
Ha! Bopper, that's exactly what my DH said.
And geordicat, actually, they're orange scented.  ;)

Speaking of furniture polsih, I'm not sure if I've posted this before, but don't use furniture polish to clean a wooden floor. Yep, it'll look shiny, but it will be slippy. Verrry slippy.

oopsy - i just did this on the weekend. I have polished floors but they're not varnished or anything, its just a polish build up from an industrial buffer (apparently - who knew??) I scraped the top layer of polish moving my new couch in and decided the best way to fix it was furniture polish... probably shouldnt do that. D came running out to give me a kiss before bed and i swear she slid the entire length of the loungeroom!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Miss March on October 21, 2009, 09:39:03 AM
If you are taking a nice, long, leisurely soak in the tub, do not decide to use a fancy salt scrub to buff and smooth your legs just after you have finished shaving them. STINGS!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Bibliophile on October 21, 2009, 09:45:39 AM
Don't fall asleep in the middle of resetting your alarm...  I did that this morning.  The snooze goes for 10 minutes, but I wanted another 1/2 hour.  Well, I got another hour  ::)  Woke up with my cell phone (what I use for my alarm clock) in my hand...
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: purplemuse on October 23, 2009, 07:03:15 AM
Even if the hair dye is temporary, it will not "just wash off" of your hands if you don't use gloves.

At least my hands are my favorite color?
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Amava on October 23, 2009, 08:13:24 AM
Don't put a spoonful of boiling hot soup into your mouth. Just don't. Blisters now. :(
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Pinky830 on October 23, 2009, 10:26:24 AM
An early Dilbert cartoon said, "If you put a spoonful of hot soup in your mouth, whatever you do next will be wrong."
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Elle on October 23, 2009, 02:08:39 PM
An early Dilbert cartoon said, "If you put a spoonful of hot soup in your mouth, whatever you do next will be wrong."

That's right up there with one of my lessons: "If you're drunk and in a bathroom the sink is always the wrong choice."
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: M-theory on October 23, 2009, 03:15:19 PM
It's good that you've decided to take a fast shower instead of one of your usual ecology-destroying marathon ones. But if you're in such a hurry that you slip and fall when you turn around to grab the razor, you might want to ease up a bit.

When making tea, try to get the spout of the teakettle over the teacup, or at least the counter, before tilting and pouring. Because it's embarrassing to to answer "Whoa, what did you do to your foot?" when the downstairs neighbour comes to make sure you're OK after the loud thud you produced by falling in the shower.

Also, buy a bathrobe. The downstairs neighbour probably has enough excitement in his life without seeing you in an improptu bath sheet shower wrap.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: blue2000 on October 23, 2009, 03:33:12 PM
Wow. That must have been some morning!


It did remind me of something. When you drop your razor in the tub, fish it out and put it safely to the side before you get in.

Not after you try to get in, slip, fall, land on it, and then end up having to use a mirror to put a band-aid on your *ahem* injury. :-[
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Dazi on October 23, 2009, 04:48:33 PM
Even if the hair dye is temporary, it will not "just wash off" of your hands if you don't use gloves.

At least my hands are my favorite color?

If you have a little leftover dye, rub a little more on and then rinse it off.  A lot of the time it will come off.  I don't know why this works, but my BFF's mom was a hairdresser when I was a kid and that is what she used to do.  Or you can try a little lemon juice and seasalt...scrub then rinse.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Dazi on October 23, 2009, 04:52:57 PM
Myself, aka the Klutz, and chemistry lab:

Don't go outside after you have spilled silver nitrate all over yourself unless you are 100% certain you have gotten ever iota of it off...and even then scrub another 20 minutes.  I had poo coloured hands and splotchy arms for about 3 weeks   ::).
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: M-theory on October 23, 2009, 05:56:53 PM
Wow. That must have been some morning!


It did remind me of something. When you drop your razor in the tub, fish it out and put it safely to the side before you get in.

Not after you try to get in, slip, fall, land on it, and then end up having to use a mirror to put a band-aid on your *ahem* injury. :-[

Oh, ouch. I cringe on your behalf!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Msunderstatement on October 24, 2009, 06:45:53 PM
Even if the hair dye is temporary, it will not "just wash off" of your hands if you don't use gloves.

At least my hands are my favorite color?

If you have a little leftover dye, rub a little more on and then rinse it off.  A lot of the time it will come off.  I don't know why this works, but my BFF's mom was a hairdresser when I was a kid and that is what she used to do.  Or you can try a little lemon juice and seasalt...scrub then rinse.

I used rubber gloves when I was dying an article of clothing green. But took them off when I was trying to clean up.  I was looking like the Wicked Witch of the West from my wrists down, and it wasn't Halloween.  I soaked them in a pan of diluted bleach, and whew.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Coruscation on October 25, 2009, 01:19:38 AM
This could have ended badly....

When using a chainsaw to cut a tree into smaller bits of tree, make sure the chain has STOPPED completely before you move the saw from in front of you to dangling by your side.

Luckily it only cost a pair of jeans...not even a scratch because God takes care of fools and children.  ;)

Didn't it have a warning label ?   "Do not attempt to stop chainsaw with hands or genitals"

They do now.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Aemirai on October 25, 2009, 06:54:48 PM
Even if the hair dye is temporary, it will not "just wash off" of your hands if you don't use gloves.

At least my hands are my favorite color?

If you have a little leftover dye, rub a little more on and then rinse it off.  A lot of the time it will come off.  I don't know why this works, but my BFF's mom was a hairdresser when I was a kid and that is what she used to do.  Or you can try a little lemon juice and seasalt...scrub then rinse.

I used rubber gloves when I was dying an article of clothing green. But took them off when I was trying to clean up.  I was looking like the Wicked Witch of the West from my wrists down, and it wasn't Halloween.  I soaked them in a pan of diluted bleach, and whew.

When I worked at day camp, we discovered that a little bit of Soft Scrub would take care of tie-dyed hands and arms.  It's probably not the best thing ever for your skin, but as long as you're not doing it all the time, it can't hurt that much.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: hobish on October 26, 2009, 10:53:06 AM
If you are taking a nice, long, leisurely soak in the tub, do not decide to use a fancy salt scrub to buff and smooth your legs just after you have finished shaving them. STINGS!

On that same note...you know how Nair says not to get it on broken or raw skin? Yeah, listen. Do not do not do not get it in that scrape on your knee.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: M-theory on October 26, 2009, 11:06:44 AM
If you are taking a nice, long, leisurely soak in the tub, do not decide to use a fancy salt scrub to buff and smooth your legs just after you have finished shaving them. STINGS!

On that same note...you know how Nair says not to get it on broken or raw skin? Yeah, listen. Do not do not do not get it in that scrape on your knee.


Don't use the non-for-the-bikini-area Nair on your bikini area either. That was my first chemical burn, and I really would have rather had it elsewhere.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Black Delphinium on October 26, 2009, 11:21:35 AM
An early Dilbert cartoon said, "If you put a spoonful of hot soup in your mouth, whatever you do next will be wrong."

That's right up there with one of my lessons: "If you're drunk and in a bathroom the sink is always the wrong choice."
Not always true. If you're drunk and trying to clean up after a "prayer session", the sink is totally the right choice.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Elle on October 26, 2009, 11:33:31 AM
An early Dilbert cartoon said, "If you put a spoonful of hot soup in your mouth, whatever you do next will be wrong."

That's right up there with one of my lessons: "If you're drunk and in a bathroom the sink is always the wrong choice."
Not always true. If you're drunk and trying to clean up after a "prayer session", the sink is totally the right choice.

True. My maxim is more for when you rush into the bathroom and need to make a very quick descision about where you're going to do what you need to do.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Animala on October 26, 2009, 11:49:37 AM
An early Dilbert cartoon said, "If you put a spoonful of hot soup in your mouth, whatever you do next will be wrong."

That's right up there with one of my lessons: "If you're drunk and in a bathroom the sink is always the wrong choice."
Not always true. If you're drunk and trying to clean up after a "prayer session", the sink is totally the right choice.

True. My maxim is more for when you rush into the bathroom and need to make a very quick descision about where you're going to do what you need to do.

For the love of all that is holy don't use the shower, particularly when it is already backed up. 
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Squeaks on October 26, 2009, 04:07:51 PM
My guy and I wanted lifting weights yesterday.

I got the rather dumb idea of being determined to show i could lift as much or close to as much weight as him.

Most of the machines i could, just not as many reps. . . and today i can barely move. . . .. nor more showing off.

I feel like i idiot
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Dazi on October 28, 2009, 06:35:48 AM
Dear DH,

I know it was probably an accident that you left the slider slightly ajar.  I know it has a safety latch so it couldn't be opened any further. While we didn't have any human invaders, we did have a small break-in.  

He looked somethin like this...

(http://www.jennifermarohasy.com/blog/archives/L.infrafrenata.jpg)

and was hiding in the shower. He launched himself at me as I pulled back the curtain. Now, I know that I am not afraid of frogs, but he sort of took me by surprise. How is it that you slept through all the screaming...you, the lightest sleeper on the planet?  I am really surprised that the police weren't called by someone.  

Dazi

P.S I did finally catch him and let him go outside, so you won't find little ripped up frog presents from the furbabies.   ;D

edited for grammar
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Pinky830 on October 28, 2009, 12:48:26 PM
My guy and I wanted lifting weights yesterday.

I got the rather dumb idea of being determined to show i could lift as much or close to as much weight as him.

Most of the machines i could, just not as many reps. . . and today i can barely move. . . .. nor more showing off.

I feel like i idiot

I've always been relatively strong-I'm the wiry type-but sometimes I get carried away. Several years ago, I decided to carry an 80 lb. dog downstairs, unassisted, at work.

DH came home to find me lying face down on the couch with an ice pack on my back. He asked me what happened and I muttered, "I was showing off at work."
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: stargazer on October 28, 2009, 02:53:04 PM
I've got a new one.

If your laptop computer is running hot because it's been on for a long while, the thing to do is probably just turn it off for awhile.  NOT turn it off and then stick it in the freezer to "cool it down".  I was not aware my BF had done this until I opened the freezer the NEXT day and found a laptop sitting there.  I blinked a few times and took it out.  Little ice crystals were on it. 

I asked my BF to come down and look at what I had just taken out of the freezer.  He admitted he had forgotten he put it there.  However, he is pretty much a computer genius and assured me that it was going to be alright - he took the battery out so it wouldn't become wet while the computer dethawed.   Amazingly enough, he was right and the computer still works to this day.  I, however, do not recommend this.  Just turn the computer off people.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Seven Ate Nine on October 28, 2009, 04:26:13 PM
I've got a new one.

If your laptop computer is running hot because it's been on for a long while, the thing to do is probably just turn it off for awhile.  NOT turn it off and then stick it in the freezer to "cool it down".  I was not aware my BF had done this until I opened the freezer the NEXT day and found a laptop sitting there.  I blinked a few times and took it out.  Little ice crystals were on it. 

I asked my BF to come down and look at what I had just taken out of the freezer.  He admitted he had forgotten he put it there.  However, he is pretty much a computer genius and assured me that it was going to be alright - he took the battery out so it wouldn't become wet while the computer dethawed.   Amazingly enough, he was right and the computer still works to this day.  I, however, do not recommend this.  Just turn the computer off people.

I've actually used the freezer trick to unstick a harddrive long enough to print out the paper I was working on (wound up getting a new harddrive for that machine.)  My Dell Inspiron 1100 fit really nicely in my dorm freezer.  I did however put it in a plastic freezer bag first, to avoid ice crystals (also, the machine was not hot when I put it in)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: tarheel220 on October 29, 2009, 03:37:40 PM
As my late aunt found out, don't set your curling iron, still on, down on your bed and then sit down in same spot as said curling iron.  Try explaining THAT burn to the folks at the ER.  ;D

Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: M-theory on October 29, 2009, 03:39:11 PM
Today's lesson is on the difference between can and should:

Just because you can stuff 40 lbs of groceries into one shopping tote doesn't mean you should.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: hobish on October 29, 2009, 03:42:00 PM
I've got a new one.

If your laptop computer is running hot because it's been on for a long while, the thing to do is probably just turn it off for awhile.  NOT turn it off and then stick it in the freezer to "cool it down".  I was not aware my BF had done this until I opened the freezer the NEXT day and found a laptop sitting there.  I blinked a few times and took it out.  Little ice crystals were on it. 

I asked my BF to come down and look at what I had just taken out of the freezer.  He admitted he had forgotten he put it there.  However, he is pretty much a computer genius and assured me that it was going to be alright - he took the battery out so it wouldn't become wet while the computer dethawed.   Amazingly enough, he was right and the computer still works to this day.  I, however, do not recommend this.  Just turn the computer off people.

I've actually used the freezer trick to unstick a harddrive long enough to print out the paper I was working on (wound up getting a new harddrive for that machine.)  My Dell Inspiron 1100 fit really nicely in my dorm freezer.  I did however put it in a plastic freezer bag first, to avoid ice crystals (also, the machine was not hot when I put it in)

So ... why was it in the freezer then, if it wasn't hot? I am so intrigued. I never in my life heard of putting a computer (or any electronic equipment) in the freezer.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: VorFemme on October 29, 2009, 03:43:29 PM
I have a worse curling iron story - someone I knew at my last job was going through a divorce, her younger DD was getting married, and her older DD was having the first grandbaby.  She was training a class of new people at work (I was one of them).

Talk about "burning the candle at both ends"!

She was trying to get ready for work after the baby was born (no sleep) and managed to burn her EYE with the curling iron (good thing she blinked).  The burn mark on her eyelid and the lesser burn from heat transmitted to her cornea had her staying at home for a few days before the doctor would release her to drive herself again.........

There are a few things that you really need to be awake and alert to operate - and the list is not limited to BIG things like cars, ships, bulldozers, cranes,, and the like............small HOT or SHARP things are supposed to be used only while awake, too!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: VorFemme on October 29, 2009, 03:48:06 PM
I've got a new one.

If your laptop computer is running hot because it's been on for a long while, the thing to do is probably just turn it off for awhile.  NOT turn it off and then stick it in the freezer to "cool it down".  I was not aware my BF had done this until I opened the freezer the NEXT day and found a laptop sitting there.  I blinked a few times and took it out.  Little ice crystals were on it. 

I asked my BF to come down and look at what I had just taken out of the freezer.  He admitted he had forgotten he put it there.  However, he is pretty much a computer genius and assured me that it was going to be alright - he took the battery out so it wouldn't become wet while the computer dethawed.   Amazingly enough, he was right and the computer still works to this day.  I, however, do not recommend this.  Just turn the computer off people.

I've actually used the freezer trick to unstick a harddrive long enough to print out the paper I was working on (wound up getting a new harddrive for that machine.)  My Dell Inspiron 1100 fit really nicely in my dorm freezer.  I did however put it in a plastic freezer bag first, to avoid ice crystals (also, the machine was not hot when I put it in)

So ... why was it in the freezer then, if it wasn't hot? I am so intrigued. I never in my life heard of putting a computer (or any electronic equipment) in the freezer.


I've heard of something similar - the cooling fan wasn't working well, the user had found that chilling the computer before using it let it operate a little longer before it shut itself down due to overheating.  Apparently they did this while waiting to save money to repair or replace their computer (short term).  Any tech would tell you that it is NOT going to be a good long term solution.............but it could be a way to get ONE paper printed or burn a backup copy of the hard drive before the computer failed entirely............

Although I now know where the inspiration for the laptop "chill pads" with fans installed to go under your laptop on the desk came from...........I have no idea how well they'd work on someone's lap as they might not work too well with clothing at least potentially blocking the fan openings.........
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Dindrane on October 29, 2009, 03:53:06 PM
Many laptops overheat if they aren't elevated or on a hard surface, and cooling them down definitely helps them last longer and work better.

I had a laptop fan for my last laptop, because it got very hot even on a desk.  The fan was just a flat plastic thing that sat under the computer and plugged into a USB port for power.  It had fans that would suck air out from under the computer and blow it out the back, to keep cooler air circulating.  It actually worked quite well, and if I was careful, I could use it on my lap as well as the desk.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: hobish on October 29, 2009, 05:59:49 PM

That makes sense - thank you very much! I was really super curious about that!

Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Dindrane on October 29, 2009, 06:06:02 PM

That makes sense - thank you very much! I was really super curious about that!



You're welcome. :)  Not all laptops run hot enough to need that.  The other thing you can do is just prop it up in the back with books (so it's tilted a bit and has empty space underneath).  You can also buy things that more or less do just that.  But even just having empty space (rather than a surface) under a laptop keeps it from getting so hot.

The real culprit, with too hot laptops, is actually using it on your lap. :)  Especially if you're like me, and tend to put it on a pillow on your lap.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Elle on October 30, 2009, 10:32:32 AM
Also, by sticking a pretty much dead hard drive into the freezer the cold can possibly tighten the connections long enough for you to recover what you need. It's kind of a last ditch - you've got nothing to lose measure.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: LadyClaire on October 30, 2009, 03:15:34 PM
If you are taking a nice, long, leisurely soak in the tub, do not decide to use a fancy salt scrub to buff and smooth your legs just after you have finished shaving them. STINGS!

I use the scrub, THEN shave. Works much better and your legs are silky smooth afterwards.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: hot_shaker on October 30, 2009, 03:20:42 PM
If you are taking a nice, long, leisurely soak in the tub, do not decide to use a fancy salt scrub to buff and smooth your legs just after you have finished shaving them. STINGS!

I use the scrub, THEN shave. Works much better and your legs are silky smooth afterwards.

I find that if I shave then scrub, I exfoliate out tiny hairs thus defeating the point of shaving in the first place!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Dindrane on October 30, 2009, 03:24:47 PM
Plus, doesn't shaving work better when the hair has time to soften and the follicles have time to open/loosen/whatever?  Soaking in a warm to hot bath (or even just being in a warm to hot shower) for 15-30 minutes would do a pretty good job of that.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Amava on January 22, 2010, 04:51:35 AM
If you are going to clean the kitchen sink with a strong product that contains acids, don't do it with bare hands that have little wounds, and for crying out loud, don't hang your face right over the spot you are scrubbing to examine how easily the dirt is coming off and then breath deeply.

COUGH HACK EEP OOFFF!! 
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Zenith on January 22, 2010, 05:21:26 AM
Oven mitts exist for a reason ::).

Yes I picked up a tray out of the oven without mitting first. I use the oven nearly everyday , how could I forget?!? ???

And for bonus points, I dropped the hot pan on my bare feet after burning my fingers. Burnt toe knuckles anyone?
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: pierrotlunaire0 on January 22, 2010, 09:26:07 AM
I had a cold, and I noticed that while making chili, I could not smell the seasonings.  Umm, maybe my chili powder had gone stale.  Checked some more spices in the cabinet.  Still nothing.

That is when I came up with the idea of smelling deeply into the bleach bottle.  I didn't hurt myself, but someone later pointed out I could have done real damage from huffing bleach.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: pinkunicorn on January 22, 2010, 09:47:57 AM
Oven mitts exist for a reason ::).

Yes I picked up a tray out of the oven without mitting first. I use the oven nearly everyday , how could I forget?!? ???

And for bonus points, I dropped the hot pan on my bare feet after burning my fingers. Burnt toe knuckles anyone?

I've done that. I have a stoneware pizza pan, and use a metal rack for "handles" to carry it. Pizza was done, so I grabbed oven mitts to take the pan out of the oven and set it on the stove. Put the mitts to the side. Cut the pizza. Went to grab the pan and move it to the table. Sans mitts. The metal handles branded my fingertips!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Pinky830 on January 22, 2010, 02:19:54 PM
Oven mitts exist for a reason ::).

Yes I picked up a tray out of the oven without mitting first. I use the oven nearly everyday , how could I forget?!? ???

And for bonus points, I dropped the hot pan on my bare feet after burning my fingers. Burnt toe knuckles anyone?

I've done that. I have a stoneware pizza pan, and use a metal rack for "handles" to carry it. Pizza was done, so I grabbed oven mitts to take the pan out of the oven and set it on the stove. Put the mitts to the side. Cut the pizza. Went to grab the pan and move it to the table. Sans mitts. The metal handles branded my fingertips!

On the subject of stoneware pizza pans.

I proofed a pizza crust in the fridge, while heating the oven. To 550 degrees. Took the stone straight from the fridge and put it in the oven.

I had just enought time to think, "Did I really just do that?" when there was a huge KAPOW in the oven, and my beautiful, perfectly seasoned pizza stone had exploded into shards.  :-[
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: geordicat on January 22, 2010, 07:17:47 PM
Don't get your nose pierced, then forget about it (???) and go to scratch your nose, pulling the stud out.  It  HURTS going back in.  It hurts a LOT.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: RedRuby on January 22, 2010, 07:28:57 PM
Don't get your nose pierced, then forget about it (???) and go to scratch your nose, pulling the stud out.  It  HURTS going back in.  It hurts a LOT.

Oooh, I did that, too!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: geordicat on January 22, 2010, 07:32:37 PM
Don't get your nose pierced, then forget about it (???) and go to scratch your nose, pulling the stud out.  It  HURTS going back in.  It hurts a LOT.

Oooh, I did that, too!

I keep a bandaid on it at night now.  :( I hope it heals fast.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Dindrane on January 23, 2010, 10:22:42 AM
Don't get your nose pierced, then forget about it (???) and go to scratch your nose, pulling the stud out.  It  HURTS going back in.  It hurts a LOT.

Oooh, I did that, too!

I keep a bandaid on it at night now.  :( I hope it heals fast.

I had to re-learn how to wash and dry my face.  I managed to pull the stud halfway out with the loofah I was using at the time, and with my towel (at least a couple of times).

I've had this piercing for 6 years, without any infections or problems, and having something yank the stud halfway out still hurts like the dickens.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: LadyClaire on January 23, 2010, 04:15:56 PM
Don't get your nose pierced, then forget about it (???) and go to scratch your nose, pulling the stud out.  It  HURTS going back in.  It hurts a LOT.

A few days after my sister first got her navel pierced, she went to the bathroom at work. She was wearing pantyhose, and as she pulled her hose down, her fingernail caught in the navel ring and she nearly ripped it out.

She said it hurt so badly that she nearly passed out. I can believe it...I'd fallen asleep laying across DF one night when we were watching a movie. I woke up, and my navel ring had become caught on the tongue of his belt buckle. I tell you, I have never frozen so quickly nor so utterly still as I did when I felt the first little tug of that ring. I managed to remove it from his belt without damging myself, but I still remember the moment of "uh oh..." when I felt that tug. It was the feeling of "If I move even one more inch, something very bad is going to happen to my belly button".
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Hushabye on January 23, 2010, 05:19:23 PM
Don't get your nose pierced, then forget about it (???) and go to scratch your nose, pulling the stud out.  It  HURTS going back in.  It hurts a LOT.

A few days after my sister first got her navel pierced, she went to the bathroom at work. She was wearing pantyhose, and as she pulled her hose down, her fingernail caught in the navel ring and she nearly ripped it out.

She said it hurt so badly that she nearly passed out. I can believe it...I'd fallen asleep laying across DF one night when we were watching a movie. I woke up, and my navel ring had become caught on the tongue of his belt buckle. I tell you, I have never frozen so quickly nor so utterly still as I did when I felt the first little tug of that ring. I managed to remove it from his belt without damging myself, but I still remember the moment of "uh oh..." when I felt that tug. It was the feeling of "If I move even one more inch, something very bad is going to happen to my belly button".

Oh, man, I remember stuff like that happening a LOT right after I got mine done!

One of the worst was my own fault, in a way.  I didn't tell many people that I was getting it done (did it over spring break my junior year of college; it was my moment of rebellion, lol!), so most people didn't really think about being careful of my stomach after we got back to classes and I didn't always think to say anything.  A friend who I wasn't super-close to came up to me one day on campus and went to give me a hug.  Which morphed into a pick-me-up-off-the-ground-in-a-bear-hug-and-spin-me-around thing.  Which caused me to hyperextend my stomach.

I thought I was going to die and, IIRC, I started screeching at him to put me down, now!  Once he did, I had to check to make sure it hadn't popped through the skin or something and explain why I freaked out on him.  Poor guy!  After that, I started warning people who I thought might do something similar.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Psykogrl on January 24, 2010, 06:54:55 PM
Please.... for the love of all that is good.... DON'T try to scratch your septum after removing seeds from chili peppers before washing your hands.... no matter how ITCHY it is, the searing burning pain will be worse....

the only way I could calm it down was sticking a milk soaked q-tip in my nostril  :-[
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: pinkunicorn on January 25, 2010, 11:00:22 AM
Don't dice a jalapeno, then itch the corner of your eye. Even AFTER washing your hands with Dawn!

On a sidenote--to get rid of the hot oils in peppers and other things, regular soap will not work, and Dawn won't work all that great either (as I found out). What does work: scrub your hands with about 2 tablespoons of salt & rinse them off. Sugar works, too, but salt works better!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Mediancat on January 25, 2010, 11:25:00 AM
Oven mitts exist for a reason ::).

Yes I picked up a tray out of the oven without mitting first. I use the oven nearly everyday , how could I forget?!? ???

And for bonus points, I dropped the hot pan on my bare feet after burning my fingers. Burnt toe knuckles anyone?

I've done that. I have a stoneware pizza pan, and use a metal rack for "handles" to carry it. Pizza was done, so I grabbed oven mitts to take the pan out of the oven and set it on the stove. Put the mitts to the side. Cut the pizza. Went to grab the pan and move it to the table. Sans mitts. The metal handles branded my fingertips!

So have I, and recently. I was cooking two items on one pan -- the one took slightly longer than the other, at the same temperature. So after three minutes, I took the pan out, put the french fries on, and apparently thought "Hey, everything's uncooked, I don't need an oven mitt."

I burned the tips of my index, middle, and ring fingers on my right hand, and my middle finger is just healing completely.

Rob aka Mediancat
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: LadyClaire on January 25, 2010, 01:19:12 PM
The grill mark burns reminded me of this.

Two summers ago, we had a very, very hot, dry summer. I like to eat my lunch sitting on a bench in a garden behind my place of employment. The bench sat in direct sunlight.

One day I went out there and sat down without thinking that the metal bench might be very, very hot from sitting in the sun all morning and afternoon.

It was very, very hot. I had on a dress that had puffed out when I sat down, so the backs of my bare thighs came into direct contact with the strips of metal that made up the seat of the bench.

The bench burned what were basically big grill marks onto my thighs. Luckily they faded after just a couple of days, but..ow. I'm a lot more careful when picking my seat after that experience.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: hobish on January 25, 2010, 01:24:13 PM
Don't dice a jalapeno, then itch the corner of your eye. Even AFTER washing your hands with Dawn!

On a sidenote--to get rid of the hot oils in peppers and other things, regular soap will not work, and Dawn won't work all that great either (as I found out). What does work: scrub your hands with about 2 tablespoons of salt & rinse them off. Sugar works, too, but salt works better!

Oooh! Gish did that once. He woke me up thinking he had blinded himself, poor guy.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Mrs.E on January 25, 2010, 02:22:19 PM
Once you reach 20 weeks of pregnancy, don't touch anything sharp...or hot...or heavy. ::) I have never hurt myself so badly so many times in such a few short weeks!

ETA: Apparently you bleed more when you are pregnant as well.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: M-theory on May 08, 2010, 07:42:50 PM
Ask a Thai restaurant to make a dish "extra spicy" at your own peril. It literally burned my lips before it touched them!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: MightyMouse on May 08, 2010, 09:04:04 PM
If you're baking bread and you've just pulled a pan out of the oven, don't rest the searing hot pan on your upper arm in order to turn and talk to someone.  Especially if it takes a second or two to realize that the pan is searing hot.  My coworkers still won't let me live it down.   :P
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Saro on May 08, 2010, 09:05:58 PM
Don't use a potholder to lift the very hot burner so that you can clean under it. Just don't.  ;D
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: blue2000 on May 09, 2010, 12:55:10 PM
Don't use your bare fingers either. Even if it does make really interesting blisters.


This is a good occasion to procrastinate and clean it later, when you can be sure that it's cold.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Pinky830 on May 09, 2010, 03:11:02 PM
Ask a Thai restaurant to make a dish "extra spicy" at your own peril. It literally burned my lips before it touched them!

Oh, no. I am NOT mixing it up with extra-spicy Asian food. Those cuisines don't mess around.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Suze on May 09, 2010, 03:18:10 PM
I have a friend that works with almost all Indian People (from India, not born here) and there are a couple of Indian Resterants that even they will NOT eat at because the food it "too spicy"

I can't take the "not spicy at all" so I can't even imangiane what "too spicy" must be like.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Luci on May 09, 2010, 04:28:28 PM
My contribution does not deal with dangerous stuff. The thing is I do it night after night after night and never learn: I need to floss BEFORE I apply moisturizer. Even if I wash my hands, the moisturizer just tastes icky.

This one is kind of dangerous. We all know not to mix chlorine bleach and ammonia, however: My clothes washer and my sink were about 8 feet apart. One time I put the dish drainer and sink mat in the sink full of bleach water to soak, then filled the washing machine with the dirty clothes and detergent and hot water and ammonia. Just the gases of the bleach and ammonia mixed in the air and were toxic. Not a good plan.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Clara Bow on May 09, 2010, 04:52:19 PM
Ask a Thai restaurant to make a dish "extra spicy" at your own peril. It literally burned my lips before it touched them!

Oh, no. I am NOT mixing it up with extra-spicy Asian food. Those cuisines don't mess around.

Don't screw around with Indian food either. When they tell you the curry is hot, they mean that it will boil your tongue smoothe and make your digestive tract it's female dog. And it tastes GOOD....that's the bad part, sweating, hurting, just about dying, but it tastes so good.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Black Delphinium on May 09, 2010, 04:55:05 PM
Ask a Thai restaurant to make a dish "extra spicy" at your own peril. It literally burned my lips before it touched them!

Oh, no. I am NOT mixing it up with extra-spicy Asian food. Those cuisines don't mess around.

Don't screw around with Indian food either. When they tell you the curry is hot, they mean that it will boil your tongue smoothe and make your digestive tract it's female dog. And it tastes GOOD....that's the bad part, sweating, hurting, just about dying, but it tastes so good.
All the more reason to splurge on a super-yummy lassi!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: MrsJWine on May 09, 2010, 05:47:53 PM
Similarly-shaped tubes, same pocket of the purse, but baby Orajel =/= lip balm.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Reika on May 09, 2010, 07:00:28 PM
MrsJWine's story reminded me of this.

My maternal grandmother was fond of bargains which sometimes prompted her to get some odd things. Like the ginormous tube of Oragel when none of us had any major mouth pain. It was a similar color to the ginormous tube of denture fixative which both she and my grandfather used.

One night my grandfather was running a little late to go somewhere, grabbed the wrong tube. Couldn't understand why his mouth went completed numb and his dentures were sliding around.

When he was able to talk again, he ripped her a new one, which I couldn't blame him. Then of course a month later it was one of the stories he loved telling about how grandma got him.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: vorbau on May 09, 2010, 08:12:12 PM
When you re-pot your houseplants using dirt from back in your woods, it's a good idea to keep in mind that the red-brown lumps are not necessarily Virginia clay. Especially if you decide to "break up the lumps" with your bare hands.

Addendum the first: dog poo can stain acrylic nails.

Addendum the second: Bleach will remove dog poo stains from nails. It will also make your hands smell like corn chips.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Suze on May 09, 2010, 08:14:44 PM
When you re-pot your houseplants using dirt from back in your woods, it's a good idea to keep in mind that the red-brown lumps are not necessarily Virginia clay. Especially if you decide to "break up the lumps" with your bare hands.

Addendum the first: dog poo can stain acrylic nails.

Addendum the second: Bleach will remove dog poo stains from nails. It will also make your hands smell like corn chips.

however it CAN be really good fertalizer for said plants.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Black Delphinium on May 10, 2010, 08:37:31 AM
Zenith, have you tried keeping a pizza stone in your oven? It helps even out the heat.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: DangerMouth on May 10, 2010, 08:53:55 AM
If you have two very similar-looking bags of food in the cupboard, you should really take a good look before deciding to toss the texturized vegetable protien into the the chili you are making, because I can guarentee:

1) You'll be wondering why the chili tastes sweet

2) You'll be looking in vain for the granola the next morning.

(this thread is a riot :D)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Ereine on May 10, 2010, 12:18:16 PM
If you want to heat oil in a pan and are too impatient to watch it and go to another room to surf online and the oil overheats and starts producing black smoke (but no flames, thankfully), it's not a good idea to panic and put the pan on the floor (!), especially if it happens to be plastic (I was really surprised when they didn't ask me to pay for it when I moved out, but it was student housing).

You don't really want me around in a crisis.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Midnight Kitty on May 10, 2010, 04:20:05 PM
I just discovered this thread.  I'm only up to page 10, but I've already had several belly laughs.  I promise to read the rest, but I couldn't wait to post this one.

Misty is our 5 year old mostly quarterhorse mare.  I gave her a handful of hay and she munched away contentedly.  I don't know what I thought was wrong with hay sticking out the side of her mouth.  It's not a good idea to grab the stray hay and redirect it between her chomping teeth without moving your fingers out of the way.  Really.  She's very good about not biting fingers - ever - but she thought she was chewing hay.

It took months for my thumbnail to grow out.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: M-theory on May 11, 2010, 02:11:43 AM
I have a friend that works with almost all Indian People (from India, not born here) and there are a couple of Indian Resterants that even they will NOT eat at because the food it "too spicy"

I can't take the "not spicy at all" so I can't even imangiane what "too spicy" must be like.

I would LOVE to try one of those restaurants.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: hobish on May 11, 2010, 03:37:30 AM


Don't cut up hot dogs and intentionally burn them in a frying pan unless you want to fill the house with hot dog stench and set off the smoke alarms.

I'm glad i didn't put onions in the pan, too, like i was thinking of doing.  :P

I have freshly washed clothes hanging up to dry and i am afraid they might smell like burnt hot dog now. 
 :-X Eeuw de Hot Dog Stench.


Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Lysistrata on May 11, 2010, 04:32:57 AM
Don't assume that just because your fridge does a really good job of keeping things cold and fresh that the carton of eggs with "Feb" stamped on the side is fine to cook with in May.

I hope I never see or smell another black egg yolk as long as I live! Blech!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Ereine on May 11, 2010, 05:48:43 AM
I learned today that if you're pouring tea it might be a good idea to put a mug or something underneath, unless you enjoy licking your tea from the table, of course :)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Midnight Kitty on May 11, 2010, 06:54:35 PM
Don't forget to remove hands completely before shutting car doors(or any doors for that matter). It will hurt, swell and bruise.
Kitty's Corollary:  Remove all fingers before closing the drawer.  Yep, that's another fingernail that'll take months to grow out. (http://bestsmileys.com/doh/2.gif)

Anyone want to guess who has a completely unusable thumb today? *headdesk*
Would you like to use this?  (http://bestsmileys.com/frustrated/1.gif)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Ferrets on May 11, 2010, 07:03:51 PM
Did you know that, if you put a generous slab of McVitie's Jamaican Ginger Cake in the microwave, to "warm it up a bit for having with ice-cream"...

...it explodes? (Really noisily. And messily. With much smoke. And your kitchen will stink like burnt ginger for a fortnight.)

I didn't. I do now. ::)

Also, if you leave gunpowder-stained white re-enactment kit wadded up and forgotten in the rucksack for a month, the powder-blotches turn pink. Pink. Took three hot washes to subdue them to respectable just-plain-mucky-grey dapples. :P
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: M-theory on May 11, 2010, 10:16:53 PM
Don't perform toe surgery on yourself the night before you're going to be doing a bunch of walking in closed-toed shoes and standing on public transit. Where, you know, people tend to accidentally step on your foot.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: kitty-cat on May 11, 2010, 10:58:40 PM
Don't forget to remove hands completely before shutting car doors(or any doors for that matter). It will hurt, swell and bruise.
Kitty's Corollary:  Remove all fingers before closing the drawer.  Yep, that's another fingernail that'll take months to grow out. (http://bestsmileys.com/doh/2.gif)

Anyone want to guess who has a completely unusable thumb today? *headdesk*
Would you like to use this?  (http://bestsmileys.com/frustrated/1.gif)

Kitty-cat's corollary: Make sure all fingers, not just hands, are away from the car door... It took months for my thumbnail to fully grow back and the nail has been really thick ever since it grew back.

I now close the doors with my hand on the window or with all of my fingers curled under my hand...
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Bexx27 on May 12, 2010, 09:32:45 AM
Don't perform toe surgery on yourself the night before you're going to be doing a bunch of walking in closed-toed shoes and standing on public transit. Where, you know, people tend to accidentally step on your foot.


I corrected that for you.  ;D
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: snowfire on May 12, 2010, 10:20:16 AM
Triple POD to Andra and Midnight Kitty.  When I got my first car I pulled the door shut with my hand on top of the window frame.  :o

It took all summer to get the feeling back in three fingers...and I was starting a job that involved typing that week.  Ever try to touch type when you can't feel your fingers.



If you have a summer hire student renting a room from you, make sure that they have basic competence in the kitchen before they are allowed unsupervised time.  One of the summer hires was great, we invited her back for the next summer.  The other poor kid was so helpless I'm not sure how he survived to the age of 20 with so little skills.  He put a pan of rice and hot dogs on the stove to boil  :-X and walked away to do something else.  I came home to an incredible stench and a totally black and ruined pan.  We're lucky he didn't burn the house down...
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: DangerMouth on May 12, 2010, 10:24:24 AM
Don't perform toe surgery on yourself the night before you're going to be doing a bunch of walking in closed-toed shoes and standing on public transit. Where, you know, people tend to accidentally step on your foot.


I corrected that for you.  ;D

LOL
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Midnight Kitty on May 12, 2010, 01:28:00 PM
Did you know that, if you put a generous slab of McVitie's Jamaican Ginger Cake in the microwave, to "warm it up a bit for having with ice-cream"...

This sounds delicious.  Where do you buy it?  Maybe there's a recipe on line ...
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Ferrets on May 12, 2010, 01:35:00 PM
Did you know that, if you put a generous slab of McVitie's Jamaican Ginger Cake in the microwave, to "warm it up a bit for having with ice-cream"...

This sounds delicious.  Where do you buy it?  Maybe there's a recipe on line ...

Oh, it is ambrosia, I swear. When I see it on sale in the supermarket, I stock up and stuff about ten packets into my trolley. ;D

I don't know if it's sold anywhere in the US (you're in Hawaii, aren't you?), but here (http://www.abitofhome.ca/page/C1/PROD/2022111) and here (http://www.britishcornershop.co.uk/britishfood.asp?id=CC0009) do ship to there. :)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: White Dragon on May 12, 2010, 03:13:02 PM
Co-worker told this one on himself.

He owns a 5th wheel trailer. For those not familier with these, they are a towable camper. Instead of hooking up near the back of the vehicle, they hook into a big "latch" in the bed of a truck.

From time to time, the latches get stiff from being out in the weather and all.
So they need a special lubricant sprayed into the hinge.

Co-worker found out the hard way that the spray can of lubricant was *virtually identical* to the spray can of contact adhesive...

Took him two hours to bang the latch open enough to unhook the trailer and another 3 hours to scrape off the remainder of the adhesive.

Yeah. Don't do that.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Pinky830 on May 12, 2010, 03:50:41 PM
From my biology major days: If you put a dead skunk in the biology department freezer, its scent glands will explode. By Monday when the department staff gets there, the whole department will reek of skunk.

(It wasn't me. It was a classmate in our senior-level mammalogy class. I was very glad it wasn't me. The department head was NOT amused.)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: M-theory on May 12, 2010, 05:41:53 PM
Don't perform toe surgery on yourself the night before you're going to be doing a bunch of walking in closed-toed shoes and standing on public transit. Where, you know, people tend to accidentally step on your foot.


I corrected that for you.  ;D

In the choice between surgicizing myself and waiting a few months and significantly more pain to pay thousands of dollars to have someone else do it, bathroom butchery wins every time. ;)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Kimblee on May 12, 2010, 07:08:04 PM
Don't perform toe surgery on yourself the night before you're going to be doing a bunch of walking in closed-toed shoes and standing on public transit. Where, you know, people tend to accidentally step on your foot.


I corrected that for you.  ;D

In the choice between surgicizing myself and waiting a few months and significantly more pain to pay thousands of dollars to have someone else do it, bathroom butchery wins every time. ;)

Yo.

How much would you charge to come over and carve a needle out of my big toe.

I have homemade pickled eggs....
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: kitty-cat on May 12, 2010, 07:14:35 PM
Okay, just learned something else:

DO NOT read the Gross-out thread while eating...
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Giggity on May 12, 2010, 07:20:50 PM
How much would you charge to come over and carve a needle out of my big toe.

I have homemade pickled eggs....

You have pickled eggs? Hang on, I'll be there in like four hours. I cannot get enough pickled eggs and would probably live on them if I were Ange (she's my egg pusher).
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Kimblee on May 12, 2010, 07:22:04 PM
How much would you charge to come over and carve a needle out of my big toe.

I have homemade pickled eggs....

You have pickled eggs? Hang on, I'll be there in like four hours. I cannot get enough pickled eggs and would probably live on them if I were Ange (she's my egg pusher).

*sits on recliner clutching eggs*

Mine are special eggs... they come out the chicken's butt in my backyard, are boiled/canned in my kitchen, and cure in my basement.

No artifical chemicals.  >:D
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Giggity on May 12, 2010, 07:27:48 PM
That's Ange's too, except she pickles quail eggs. Bite-size pickly goodness! And oh MAN, the gas they engender ... one time, Papa Ferdy and I split a jar, and had a couple beers while so doing, and that night I was really glad the cats weren't in my bedroom because they would have been faced with an atmosphere incompatible with breathing.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Kimblee on May 12, 2010, 07:29:40 PM
That's Ange's too, except she pickles quail eggs. Bite-size pickly goodness! And oh MAN, the gas they engender ... one time, Papa Ferdy and I split a jar, and had a couple beers while so doing, and that night I was really glad the cats weren't in my bedroom because they would have been faced with an atmosphere incompatible with breathing.

I fed my chihuahuas my first attempts. (they loved 'em) and that night I slept with my cousins (lack of beds. nothing nasty.) and everytime I'd hear my chihuahuas let one go, I'd yank the covers over my cousins' heads.

 >:D
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: M-theory on May 12, 2010, 07:36:05 PM
Don't perform toe surgery on yourself the night before you're going to be doing a bunch of walking in closed-toed shoes and standing on public transit. Where, you know, people tend to accidentally step on your foot.


I corrected that for you.  ;D

In the choice between surgicizing myself and waiting a few months and significantly more pain to pay thousands of dollars to have someone else do it, bathroom butchery wins every time. ;)

Yo.

How much would you charge to come over and carve a needle out of my big toe.

I have homemade pickled eggs....

I have the wrong kind of medical degree to perform surgery on anyone else, so you'll need to sign a waiver (and fry me up some chicken - the only remotely decent fried chicken here is a Popeye's several miles away.)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: purplemuse on May 16, 2010, 04:22:27 PM
When standing on a step stool on a linoleum floor, do not throw your weight forward to reach "just a little farther."  The stool went backwards, I went forward, and fortunately, I caught my arm on the top of the stove (which, also fortunately, was not on) rather than my face.

It's 4 days later, and I still have a lovely ( :P) black-and-blue mark the size of an egg on my forearm.  Maybe I should change my name from "purplemuse" to "purplebruise"
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Miss Vertigo on May 16, 2010, 05:58:47 PM
Did you know that, if you put a generous slab of McVitie's Jamaican Ginger Cake in the microwave, to "warm it up a bit for having with ice-cream"...

...it explodes? (Really noisily. And messily. With much smoke. And your kitchen will stink like burnt ginger for a fortnight.)

I didn't. I do now. ::)

Oooh, I did not know that. Useful information to have, given the amount of cake I heat up in my microwave.

Along the same lines, did you know that Heinz Big Soup also explodes in microwaves? Verrrrrry messily.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: vorbau on May 16, 2010, 09:40:49 PM
Slicing and squeezing lemons (to make limone, a really yummy Italian drink) is an excellent way to discover just how many cuts and splinters you inflicted on your hands with the day's earlier yard work.

Kimblee, recipes please? Plleeeeaassse?
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Fliss on May 17, 2010, 03:39:29 AM
From my days as a child (still stunned I actually survived!)

When you have a daughter who likes to know how things 'work', it's possibly NOT a good idea to give her a chem set for chrissy and let her use it unsupervised that summer.

For a start, you've just given her a box of chemicals and a recipe book.

Oh, and that pool in the back yard? You know, the one that needs chlorine, that you have bags of stored under the house? Yeah, you might want to think about locking the door.

All digits are present and correct, as are all other body parts. But it was a close-run thing that summer. I don't think my mother and the neighbours ever got used to the 'BANG' that came from the creek over the back fence.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: DangerMouth on May 17, 2010, 10:37:16 AM
Oh, childhood. Yeah, don't walk around the house with a box over your head (looking down at a mirror, so you can pretend to 'walk' on the ceiling ::)) because you'll probably fall down the stairs and break your collarbone.

(The funny part was, my mom saw me, and thought to say something to me, but then said to herself, 'nah, she'll learn'.  :D I certainly did)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Ms_Cellany on May 17, 2010, 11:05:12 AM
*raises hand*

I used the paraffin-and-sulfur recipe in my chemistry kit to make stink bombs.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Kimblee on May 17, 2010, 01:17:48 PM
Slicing and squeezing lemons (to make limone, a really yummy Italian drink) is an excellent way to discover just how many cuts and splinters you inflicted on your hands with the day's earlier yard work.

Kimblee, recipes please? Plleeeeaassse?

LOL

I wish I had one, I just boiled some vinegar and started adding things that looked interesting. Apparently it turned out great, and my father will kill me (or so he claims) if I can't figure out what I did.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Luci on May 17, 2010, 01:35:53 PM
Slicing and squeezing lemons (to make limone, a really yummy Italian drink) is an excellent way to discover just how many cuts and splinters you inflicted on your hands with the day's earlier yard work.

Kimblee, recipes please? Plleeeeaassse?

LOL

I wish I had one, I just boiled some vinegar and started adding things that looked interesting. Apparently it turned out great, and my father will kill me (or so he claims) if I can't figure out what I did.

I can tell you how I make pickled eggs, and hope you don't mind my stepping in here.

I save pickle juice and put the boiled peeled eggs in it for 2 weeks in the fridge. I can use the juice twice before it gets too eggy. Sometimes I use my favorite dill pickle recipe the same way if I am out of commercial pickle juice. Juice from pickled beets is fun too.

It's always good.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: hobish on May 17, 2010, 03:42:39 PM

If you know you have bad teeth, for heaven's sake don't use them to open a blister pack! I am sitting here looking like a pirate with half my front tooth gone. Let me tell ya, it does not tickle. Dentist appointment is set for 4 tomorrow; it's the earliest they can get me in.




Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: vorbau on May 17, 2010, 08:28:16 PM

If you know you have bad teeth, for heaven's sake don't use them to open a blister pack! I am sitting here looking like a pirate with half my front tooth gone. Let me tell ya, it does not tickle. Dentist appointment is set for 4 tomorrow; it's the earliest they can get me in.






Ow! So sorry to hear that!

When you are sharpening your knives and have run out of trash catalogs to test the blades on, don't go all tough guy and test it with your thumb. Especially the thumb of your dominant hand. Don't ask me how I learned this.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: kitty-cat on May 17, 2010, 08:30:42 PM

If you know you have bad teeth, for heaven's sake don't use them to open a blister pack! I am sitting here looking like a pirate with half my front tooth gone. Let me tell ya, it does not tickle. Dentist appointment is set for 4 tomorrow; it's the earliest they can get me in.






Ow! So sorry to hear that!

When you are sharpening your knives and have run out of trash catalogs to test the blades on, don't go all tough guy and test it with your thumb. Especially the thumb of your dominant hand. Don't ask me how I learned this.

Hey, it's better than accidentally stabbing your pointer finger of your non-dominat hand while chopping onions. Sharp pointy knife+onions...
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: MinAvi on May 18, 2010, 12:33:59 AM
I have just read the whole thread through, and I am lucky I still have a job after laughing out loud at least a dozen times!!

Back to the spiders a few pages ago -

I was driving home from my night shift job a few years back when a big huntsman (sp?) spider crawled down the inside of the windscreen. I promptly pulled over on the side of the road, locked the car and called a cab! No way on gods green earth I was dealing with the spider from h3ll at 3 am in the dark!!

Got my DF to drive me back the next afternoon with about 4 cans of spider spray. I emptied them all into the car, waited about 20 mins and drove home with all the windows down so I didnt gas myself!

Then about a week ago, I ws driving to my new daytime job and flicked the switch to open the heater vent. No kidding about 150 baby spiders came pouring out!!  I still dont know how I didnt manage to kill myself or someone else, I was on the Highway doing about 110kms per hour and was certainly not watching the road!!

Managed to get to the nearest supermarket in one piece and repeated the spider spray trick. No more baby spiders from h3ll!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: MrsJWine on May 18, 2010, 07:39:28 AM
I have just read the whole thread through, and I am lucky I still have a job after laughing out loud at least a dozen times!!

Back to the spiders a few pages ago -

I was driving home from my night shift job a few years back when a big huntsman (sp?) spider crawled down the inside of the windscreen. I promptly pulled over on the side of the road, locked the car and called a cab! No way on gods green earth I was dealing with the spider from h3ll at 3 am in the dark!!

Got my DF to drive me back the next afternoon with about 4 cans of spider spray. I emptied them all into the car, waited about 20 mins and drove home with all the windows down so I didnt gas myself!

Then about a week ago, I ws driving to my new daytime job and flicked the switch to open the heater vent. No kidding about 150 baby spiders came pouring out!!  I still dont know how I didnt manage to kill myself or someone else, I was on the Highway doing about 110kms per hour and was certainly not watching the road!!

Managed to get to the nearest supermarket in one piece and repeated the spider spray trick. No more baby spiders from h3ll!

Oh my gosh.  It's like a horror movie.  I would have cried, and probably other things.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Twik on May 18, 2010, 08:34:36 AM
Ask a Thai restaurant to make a dish "extra spicy" at your own peril. It literally burned my lips before it touched them!

Oh, no. I am NOT mixing it up with extra-spicy Asian food. Those cuisines don't mess around.

Don't screw around with Indian food either. When they tell you the curry is hot, they mean that it will boil your tongue smoothe and make your digestive tract it's female dog. And it tastes GOOD....that's the bad part, sweating, hurting, just about dying, but it tastes so good.

O/T, I once went into a Thai restaurant in Washington. The specialty of the house was "spicy crab". Well, I like crab, so I ordered it. At least, I tried.

The waitress simply refused to accept the order, on the grounds that "you'll only send it back". I even offered to guarantee in advance that I wouldn't, but no go. As she put it, they didn't sell that dish to "people like you". Which, I presume, meant any non-Thai patrons.

I still wonder what the "spicy crab" was like, and how many tourists tried to order it.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Ms_Cellany on May 18, 2010, 11:02:46 AM
O/T, I once went into a Thai restaurant in Washington. The specialty of the house was "spicy crab". Well, I like crab, so I ordered it. At least, I tried.

The waitress simply refused to accept the order, on the grounds that "you'll only send it back". I even offered to guarantee in advance that I wouldn't, but no go. As she put it, they didn't sell that dish to "people like you". Which, I presume, meant any non-Thai patrons.

I still wonder what the "spicy crab" was like, and how many tourists tried to order it.

I've had the same thing happen twice with Chinese food, once in SF's Chinatown (bitter melon with beef), and once in Berkeley (don't remember the dish).

For the bitter melon, my date had to negotiate: "Look, I grew up in San Francisco. I've had bitter melon several times. I love it. Please bring us some." It sure was bitter, but the sweetness of the beef & sauce made it great!

In Berkeley, the waitress just said "It is not popular," and didn't accept our order.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Penguinity on May 18, 2010, 11:45:26 AM
O/T, I once went into a Thai restaurant in Washington. The specialty of the house was "spicy crab". Well, I like crab, so I ordered it. At least, I tried.

The waitress simply refused to accept the order, on the grounds that "you'll only send it back". I even offered to guarantee in advance that I wouldn't, but no go. As she put it, they didn't sell that dish to "people like you". Which, I presume, meant any non-Thai patrons.

I still wonder what the "spicy crab" was like, and how many tourists tried to order it.

I've had the same thing happen twice with Chinese food, once in SF's Chinatown (bitter melon with beef), and once in Berkeley (don't remember the dish).

For the bitter melon, my date had to negotiate: "Look, I grew up in San Francisco. I've had bitter melon several times. I love it. Please bring us some." It sure was bitter, but the sweetness of the beef & sauce made it great!

In Berkeley, the waitress just said "It is not popular," and didn't accept our order.

On the other hand, there was that restaurant that served Bee Boong (sp?) I love new things, so I ordered it, and after some dithering, I got it. Well. It was the single best thing I had ever had. I shared half of it with DF, and he agreed it was Pretty Awesome.  So we mentioned it to a group of our friends, and I guess they all went and ordered it and told their friends. It was their most popular dish until the owners retired and sold the place.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Kimblee on May 18, 2010, 11:59:29 AM
O/T, I once went into a Thai restaurant in Washington. The specialty of the house was "spicy crab". Well, I like crab, so I ordered it. At least, I tried.

The waitress simply refused to accept the order, on the grounds that "you'll only send it back". I even offered to guarantee in advance that I wouldn't, but no go. As she put it, they didn't sell that dish to "people like you". Which, I presume, meant any non-Thai patrons.

I still wonder what the "spicy crab" was like, and how many tourists tried to order it.

I've had the same thing happen twice with Chinese food, once in SF's Chinatown (bitter melon with beef), and once in Berkeley (don't remember the dish).

For the bitter melon, my date had to negotiate: "Look, I grew up in San Francisco. I've had bitter melon several times. I love it. Please bring us some." It sure was bitter, but the sweetness of the beef & sauce made it great!

In Berkeley, the waitress just said "It is not popular," and didn't accept our order.

I've had a Thai cafe do that to me. I ordered something and the waiter told me I wouldn't like it. I asked again, but he nsisted it was way too spicy.

So I looked at him and told him that I know I love spicy foods, and if its too spicy, then he and the cook get to see a white girl cry, right? win/win.

I got my meal. lol

I go back every chance I get... It seriously screws up my mouth and stomach everytime, but its SOOOOOO amazing!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Midnight Kitty on May 18, 2010, 01:35:30 PM
Ask a Thai restaurant to make a dish "extra spicy" at your own peril. It literally burned my lips before it touched them!

Oh, no. I am NOT mixing it up with extra-spicy Asian food. Those cuisines don't mess around.

Don't screw around with Indian food either. When they tell you the curry is hot, they mean that it will boil your tongue smoothe and make your digestive tract it's female dog. And it tastes GOOD....that's the bad part, sweating, hurting, just about dying, but it tastes so good.

O/T, I once went into a Thai restaurant in Washington. The specialty of the house was "spicy crab". Well, I like crab, so I ordered it. At least, I tried.

The waitress simply refused to accept the order, on the grounds that "you'll only send it back". I even offered to guarantee in advance that I wouldn't, but no go. As she put it, they didn't sell that dish to "people like you". Which, I presume, meant any non-Thai patrons.

I still wonder what the "spicy crab" was like, and how many tourists tried to order it.
My husband and I love spicy Thai cuisine.  We frequent a couple restaurants & always order "spicy."  Once, to clean out our sinuses, we ordered "Thai hot."  Usually they would not make a dish "Thai hot" for people as white as us, but they knew us and knew DH always adds more hot chilies to his food, so they prepared our meals as we requested.  I couldn't eat it. :-[ The waitress had a good laugh with us.  The couple of bites I did manage to eat cleaned out my sinuses. ;)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: kitty-cat on May 18, 2010, 04:07:00 PM
Ask a Thai restaurant to make a dish "extra spicy" at your own peril. It literally burned my lips before it touched them!

Oh, no. I am NOT mixing it up with extra-spicy Asian food. Those cuisines don't mess around.

Don't screw around with Indian food either. When they tell you the curry is hot, they mean that it will boil your tongue smoothe and make your digestive tract it's female dog. And it tastes GOOD....that's the bad part, sweating, hurting, just about dying, but it tastes so good.

O/T, I once went into a Thai restaurant in Washington. The specialty of the house was "spicy crab". Well, I like crab, so I ordered it. At least, I tried.

The waitress simply refused to accept the order, on the grounds that "you'll only send it back". I even offered to guarantee in advance that I wouldn't, but no go. As she put it, they didn't sell that dish to "people like you". Which, I presume, meant any non-Thai patrons.

I still wonder what the "spicy crab" was like, and how many tourists tried to order it.
My husband and I love spicy Thai cuisine.  We frequent a couple restaurants & always order "spicy."  Once, to clean out our sinuses, we ordered "Thai hot."  Usually they would not make a dish "Thai hot" for people as white as us, but they knew us and knew DH always adds more hot chilies to his food, so they prepared our meals as we requested.  I couldn't eat it. :-[ The waitress had a good laugh with us.  The couple of bites I did manage to eat cleaned out my sinuses. ;)

Hey, it's cheaper than meds and more polite than having hankies out  ;)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Dazi on May 18, 2010, 05:57:13 PM
Ask a Thai restaurant to make a dish "extra spicy" at your own peril. It literally burned my lips before it touched them!

Oh, no. I am NOT mixing it up with extra-spicy Asian food. Those cuisines don't mess around.

Don't screw around with Indian food either. When they tell you the curry is hot, they mean that it will boil your tongue smoothe and make your digestive tract it's female dog. And it tastes GOOD....that's the bad part, sweating, hurting, just about dying, but it tastes so good.

O/T, I once went into a Thai restaurant in Washington. The specialty of the house was "spicy crab". Well, I like crab, so I ordered it. At least, I tried.

The waitress simply refused to accept the order, on the grounds that "you'll only send it back". I even offered to guarantee in advance that I wouldn't, but no go. As she put it, they didn't sell that dish to "people like you". Which, I presume, meant any non-Thai patrons.

I still wonder what the "spicy crab" was like, and how many tourists tried to order it.
My husband and I love spicy Thai cuisine.  We frequent a couple restaurants & always order "spicy."  Once, to  clean out our sinuses, we ordered "Thai hot."  Usually they would not make a dish "Thai hot" for people as white as us, but they knew us and knew DH always adds more hot chilies to his food, so they prepared our meals as we requested.  I couldn't eat it. :-[ The waitress had a good laugh with us.  The couple of bites I did manage to eat cleaned out my sinuses. ;)

Hey, it's cheaper than meds and more polite than having hankies out  ;)

The last time I had a sinus infection, I called up and ordered an order of extra spicy chicken Pad Thai.  The girl who answered the phone wouldn't let me place the order.  I had to ask for the owner who apologized and said I sounded terrible so he would make extra extra spicy for me.  I could breathe by the time I finished it  ;D.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Ms_Cellany on May 18, 2010, 06:06:47 PM
One of my many mottoes:

"If it doesn't make your nose run, it's not dinner."
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Dazi on May 18, 2010, 06:36:04 PM
One of my many mottoes:

"If it doesn't make your nose run, it's not dinner."

That's a good motto to have  ;D
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Pinky830 on May 18, 2010, 07:11:59 PM
O/T, I once went into a Thai restaurant in Washington. The specialty of the house was "spicy crab". Well, I like crab, so I ordered it. At least, I tried.

The waitress simply refused to accept the order, on the grounds that "you'll only send it back". I even offered to guarantee in advance that I wouldn't, but no go. As she put it, they didn't sell that dish to "people like you". Which, I presume, meant any non-Thai patrons.

I still wonder what the "spicy crab" was like, and how many tourists tried to order it.

I've had the same thing happen twice with Chinese food, once in SF's Chinatown (bitter melon with beef), and once in Berkeley (don't remember the dish).

For the bitter melon, my date had to negotiate: "Look, I grew up in San Francisco. I've had bitter melon several times. I love it. Please bring us some." It sure was bitter, but the sweetness of the beef & sauce made it great!

In Berkeley, the waitress just said "It is not popular," and didn't accept our order.


This isn't nearly that dramatic, but there is a restaurant near DH's office that has sort of an interesting mix of food. It's ostensibly a sports bar, but the neighborhood is very ethnically diverse, and there are a few Asian-type dishes on the menu. So one day I ordered something called the "beef bowl." The waitress wrinkled her nose and said, "Are you sure? A lot of people don't like it."

I said, "Well, uh...what is it?"

She said, "It's Asian beef, you know, kind of like Mongolian beef? with steamed veggies and rice."

I said it sounded delicious, and she hesitantly put the order in for me.

It was heavenly. I practically licked the bowl. They don't give me any more guff about it; even the kitchen has figured out that there's this lone Anglo chick who keeps ordering the beef bowl.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Midnight Kitty on May 18, 2010, 07:44:42 PM
Another spider story-- a friend and I were in a pedal boat (flat-bottomed, fairly stable), and pedalled under a tree.  A spider dropped into the boat, and I thought we were either going to both go overboard, or that we were going to flip the boat trying to get away from it.
I love/hate the spider stories.  I'm generally good with insects and reptiles and basically adore anything covered with fur, so my feud with spiders is somewhat out of character.  It seems to me that, whenever I go on a cleaning binge and vacuum up all the spider webs, the spiders get revenge by biting me all night long.  I get huge welts and bruising for 2-3 inches around each spider bite.  That is why, although I like insects in general, I get weirded out by spiders.

There I was, riding my young horse (who is still too reactive) through the coconut grove.  It felt to me like Misty shied sideways an instant before I noticed something had dropped onto my bare neck/shoulder.  I regained control over my horse, then noticed a spider the size of a quarter crawling down my bicep.  I quickly brushed it off, fortunately without setting off Misty again.  That night I noticed a huge welt (the size of a quarter) on the side of my neck where that big spider landed.  Thinking back, I believe that Misty is so sensitive that she felt my body react to the spider landing on my neck, even though I was too preoccupied with keeping Misty from bolting to notice the spider myself.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: geordicat on May 19, 2010, 10:47:34 AM
Don't hold two water bottles that you presume to be empty in one hand, then see there is a bit of water left in one and decide to swig it down.  You will pour water in your eye.

Found this out today.

- geordicat, walking around with make up on one side of her face
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: White Dragon on May 19, 2010, 01:51:43 PM
Not so much not *do* as not *say*.

Scene: Office annual fun cook off. Winners get a tacky trophy and a year's worth of bragging rights.
I provided the tacky trophy (a plastic glass covered in gold spray paint and stick-on letters. Truely a tacky prize.)

Uber boss has awarded the prize and is commenting on how tacky the trophy is and we'll have to get another one next year.

I, in front of the assembled staff, uber boss and guest judges, point out "Well, you do know that I got an "F" in arts and crafts."

Jaws dropped. Looks of embarassed horror ensued.
I repeated, slowly "I got an "F" in arts and crafts."

At which point, everyone burst out laughing.
Apparently, when one says "an F in arts and crafts", it can sound a lot like "{muted vulgarity} arts and crafts".

 :P
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: VorFemme on May 20, 2010, 07:09:33 PM
Snarky thought that they might have "heard" the F in front of arts - but she just has that kind of low down, earthy mind............and the F in front of in would also get a reaction.  Probably more of one than the somewhat juvenile giggling from putting the F in front of arts.........
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: DangerMouth on May 20, 2010, 07:24:40 PM
Snarky thought that they might have "heard" the F in front of arts - but she just has that kind of low down, earthy mind............and the F in front of in would also get a reaction.  Probably more of one than the somewhat juvenile giggling from putting the F in front of arts.........

Er, just my own thought, but I think what they heard was the F in (etc)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: hermanne on May 21, 2010, 09:52:09 AM
Don't tell your 3-year-old not to tickle mommy's feet, because mommy will kick (i.e. kick wildly).
I'm glad I missed her. :-[
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Pinky830 on May 21, 2010, 01:27:02 PM
Don't tell your 3-year-old not to tickle mommy's feet, because mommy will kick (i.e. kick wildly).
I'm glad I missed her. :-[

My DH and kids all tackled me simultaneously one night and tickled me like mad. It should have been rowdy family fun. I completely freaked...like screaming, sobbing, and running out of the room as soon as I could shake them off. I couldn't talk to any of them for a few minutes. It was horrible. I felt so bad about it because they were just trying to have fun, and naturally they were really upset at how I reacted.

(And no, I've never been a victim of any kind of violence. I am very ticklish and more than a little claustrophobic, but that wouldn't really explain it.)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Martienne on May 21, 2010, 11:58:11 PM
If you have a crying toddler in the bath who refuses to let daddy wash her hair...
and a crying baby who only wants mommy to hold her...
you really ought to deal with one of them crying.

Instead of holding baby on your left hip...
and washing toddler with your right hand...
leaning over the shower door track, when the floor is wet.

Landing with your full body weight + baby's body weight on your ribs on a shower door track...
Well, let's say it's not all that comfortable. And it leaves a very interesting (and painful!) bruise.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: M-theory on May 22, 2010, 12:18:05 AM
Should you happen to spill boiling water down your front, don't gasp and then go "Oh, that didn't hurt as much as I thought it would." It lines you up in the Universe's crosshairs as a Darwin Award candidate. ::)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: snowfire on May 22, 2010, 08:14:16 PM
Don't light the fire before you check if the damper is open.  Damper handle is hot and smoke alarms get very excited. :-\

Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Shoo on May 22, 2010, 08:17:01 PM
I have just read the whole thread through, and I am lucky I still have a job after laughing out loud at least a dozen times!!

Back to the spiders a few pages ago -

I was driving home from my night shift job a few years back when a big huntsman (sp?) spider crawled down the inside of the windscreen. I promptly pulled over on the side of the road, locked the car and called a cab! No way on gods green earth I was dealing with the spider from h3ll at 3 am in the dark!!

Got my DF to drive me back the next afternoon with about 4 cans of spider spray. I emptied them all into the car, waited about 20 mins and drove home with all the windows down so I didnt gas myself!

Then about a week ago, I ws driving to my new daytime job and flicked the switch to open the heater vent. No kidding about 150 baby spiders came pouring out!!  I still dont know how I didnt manage to kill myself or someone else, I was on the Highway doing about 110kms per hour and was certainly not watching the road!!

Managed to get to the nearest supermarket in one piece and repeated the spider spray trick. No more baby spiders from h3ll!

Oh my goodness, I almost threw up just reading this!  I think my blood pressure spiked and I almost had a stroke too!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Amasi on May 23, 2010, 02:09:55 AM
If hypothetically you have invited your boyfriend and his daughter over for dinner, and if hypothetically you are in the kitchen chopping vegetables, and if hypothetically the child snatches a carrot you require and runs into the other room to hide behind her father, and if hypothetically you intend to give chase...

Put down the knife first. That way you can avoid a misunderstanding.

Also, if you are roasting marshmallows over a fire, and like to ignite them for that really gooey crunchy goodness, even if you have blown it out, it is a really bad idea to sniff the marshmallow. It will reignite and burn your nostril.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: MightyMouse on May 23, 2010, 02:11:16 AM
Should you happen to spill boiling water down your front, don't gasp and then go "Oh, that didn't hurt as much as I thought it would." It lines you up in the Universe's crosshairs as a Darwin Award candidate. ::)

Sprite, meet the computer monitor  
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: hobish on May 23, 2010, 04:52:40 AM

If you are trying to plug a giant plug into a big metal main frame don't use the prongs of the plug to guide your hand in.

I mean, if you're into electric shock - Do It! It will rock you harder than touching an electric horse fence that you can hear. I've messed with electrical horse fences. I've picked up electrical wire that was sitting in a puddle.

Don't touch the prongs of the thing you are plugging in.



Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Pinky830 on May 23, 2010, 07:11:34 PM

If you are trying to plug a giant plug into a big metal main frame don't use the prongs of the plug to guide your hand in.

I mean, if you're into electric shock - Do It! It will rock you harder than touching an electric horse fence that you can hear. I've messed with electrical horse fences. I've picked up electrical wire that was sitting in a puddle.

Don't touch the prongs of the thing you are plugging in.

I did that once. I think it was with the vacuum cleaner. I remember thinking it's no wonder they used to use electric shocks in psych experiments...that was a lesson I will never forget.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Midnight Kitty on May 24, 2010, 12:40:49 AM
My sides hurt, and my cheeks too :D
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: LadyClaire on May 24, 2010, 10:49:23 AM

If you know you have bad teeth, for heaven's sake don't use them to open a blister pack! I am sitting here looking like a pirate with half my front tooth gone. Let me tell ya, it does not tickle. Dentist appointment is set for 4 tomorrow; it's the earliest they can get me in.






DF's brother once broke his tooth while he was trying to open a ketchup packet that way.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: White Dragon on May 28, 2010, 01:33:14 PM
Okay, not painful, but it did make me chuckle.

I am (nominally) a supervisor to a couple of coworkers.

One of them came in today and asked if she could fax a document.
Since this is an acceptable practice (within reason), I said sure.

I was on lunch and she didn't want to bother me and have me do it, so she just confirmed the procedure.
"I just put it in and type the phone number, right?"

"Yep. And for this machine, load the document face down."

A minute later she comes back and says "I didn't want to bother you, but I don't think I'm doing it right."

So I go and follow her over to the machine.

I look at what she is attempting to do.
"Well darlin', " I say with a grin, "that's because this is a photocopier."

We had a good laugh about it and she said "Well, that's a funny story for you to tell!"

Photocopier =\= fax machine... ;D
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Amava on May 28, 2010, 01:40:58 PM
If hypothetically you have invited your boyfriend and his daughter over for dinner, and if hypothetically you are in the kitchen chopping vegetables, and if hypothetically the child snatches a carrot you require and runs into the other room to hide behind her father, and if hypothetically you intend to give chase...

Put down the knife first. That way you can avoid a misunderstanding.

HAHAHAHAHAHA that is fantastic!!  ;D

I slammed a door into my own forehead the other day. I have no clue why and how that happens, but it does. Lack of coordination? I often walk into the doorframe, too. Usually with my shoulder. The more tired (sleep-deprived) I am, the more it's likely to happen, so I do think it's something to do with concentration.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Hushabye on May 28, 2010, 02:21:04 PM
When you're trying to be all cool and professional and coordinated in your skirted business suit by sitting down in the car's seat facing toward the sidewalk and then turning to face forward once you're seated, it really ruins the effect to misjudge how far forward you are and smash your head into the door frame on the way down.

Also, it *hurts*!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Slartibartfast on May 28, 2010, 04:14:13 PM
Okay, not painful, but it did make me chuckle.

I am (nominally) a supervisor to a couple of coworkers.

One of them came in today and asked if she could fax a document.
Since this is an acceptable practice (within reason), I said sure.

I was on lunch and she didn't want to bother me and have me do it, so she just confirmed the procedure.
"I just put it in and type the phone number, right?"

"Yep. And for this machine, load the document face down."

A minute later she comes back and says "I didn't want to bother you, but I don't think I'm doing it right."

So I go and follow her over to the machine.

I look at what she is attempting to do.
"Well darlin', " I say with a grin, "that's because this is a photocopier."

We had a good laugh about it and she said "Well, that's a funny story for you to tell!"

Photocopier =\= fax machine... ;D

That's not as obvious as it sounds - I've seen plenty of faxes that are copiers/printers/faxes/scanners all rolled into one :-)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Outdoor Girl on May 29, 2010, 10:33:33 AM
If you have had the garden rake out and you just set it in the shed temporarily rather than hanging it where it belongs, don't place it with the tines facing outwards.

I did.  Stepped on the tines, got the handle right between the eyes.  I had a goose egg on my forehead for a week!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Shoo on May 29, 2010, 10:38:16 AM
If you have had the garden rake out and you just set it in the shed temporarily rather than hanging it where it belongs, don't place it with the tines facing outwards.

I did.  Stepped on the tines, got the handle right between the eyes.  I had a goose egg on my forehead for a week!

I thought that only happened in cartoons!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Bexx27 on May 29, 2010, 10:45:28 AM
If you have had the garden rake out and you just set it in the shed temporarily rather than hanging it where it belongs, don't place it with the tines facing outwards.

I did.  Stepped on the tines, got the handle right between the eyes.  I had a goose egg on my forehead for a week!

I thought that only happened in cartoons!

Outdoor Girl, you're not actually Sideshow Bob, are you?  ;D
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: RingTailedLemur on May 29, 2010, 02:44:59 PM
If you have had the garden rake out and you just set it in the shed temporarily rather than hanging it where it belongs, don't place it with the tines facing outwards.

I did.  Stepped on the tines, got the handle right between the eyes.  I had a goose egg on my forehead for a week!

I thought that only happened in cartoons!

I did it with a broom once...
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: RingTailedLemur on May 29, 2010, 02:46:09 PM
When you are throwing a javeline, throw it straight.

Having one of those things whack you round the head not only hurts but makes people laugh at you for years on end.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Amava on May 29, 2010, 03:19:14 PM
If you have had the garden rake out and you just set it in the shed temporarily rather than hanging it where it belongs, don't place it with the tines facing outwards.

I did.  Stepped on the tines, got the handle right between the eyes.  I had a goose egg on my forehead for a week!

I thought that only happened in cartoons!

I did it with a broom once...

Oh speaking of brooms. If you are a teacher and two kids are fighting over a broom (yes, they think it's a privilege and an honour to be allowed to sweep the floor), stop them verbally, from a safe distance.
And if you tell them to "Let go of the broom!" don't do it while you are actually already pulling the broom. Cause their immediate obedience to your words, combined with the force you are using on the broom, will logically result in the broom smacking you in the forehead.  ::)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Outdoor Girl on May 29, 2010, 06:41:01 PM
In my case, I think it is genetic.  When I was telling my brother about my little mishap, he started laughing.  Not only did the handle hit him between the eyes, it knocked him on his keester.  And he couldn't even blame his kids; the big dummy had left the rake lying in the lawn tines up, all by himself.

Too bad we don't have the episodes on video - we could have won $10,000 on AFV.   :)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: kitty-cat on May 29, 2010, 10:34:57 PM
Allrighty, ya would think I would know this one by know.

When cooking, the pots tend to be hot. I now have a very nice, shiny burn spot on my ring finger of my right hand. I'm right handed.... Thankfully it didn't swell (yet anyways) because it has become instinct to run cold water as soon as I feel burning on my hands.

I was making green beans for dinner, and hit the bottom of the pan with my finger when draining them. And yet I was able to put them back in the pan and put the butter on them before hollering for mom... (at parent's house before my trip).

This is not my first stove related burn either- I was either 2 or 3, mom/Nana had made something on the stove, and I wanted to play with the pretty red coil. According to my mom, my hand had to be pried open from a fist to have my meds put on it.

I am always burning myself when baking because I touch the sides of the oven. I have a really nice, egg shaped scar on my left thumb from hot glue from a  hot glue gun that was on high. I did a number on the top of my left ear with a curling iron that took about half the school year to heal.I couldn't stop "playing" with it I'm starting to think that I shouldn't be allowed to use anything over a temprature of 75*F.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Pinky830 on May 30, 2010, 08:13:59 AM
Kitty-cat, I burn myself a lot too. I tell people it's a good think I don't smoke...besides the obvious reasons, if I handled open flames all day I'd be setting things on fire right and left.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: rhirhi on May 30, 2010, 03:30:52 PM
When using cold butter to coat a pan, and you set it on the (gas) store to heat up from the flames from what other things you are cooking- it will take your thumb 5 seconds to realize that the side you picked up is hot. My poor thumb has a nice blister on the side- ever realize how much you use the edge of your thumb?
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: kitty-cat on May 30, 2010, 07:58:35 PM
Kitty-cat, I burn myself a lot too. I tell people it's a good think I don't smoke...besides the obvious reasons, if I handled open flames all day I'd be setting things on fire right and left.


I know. And yet my mom wants me to move to a place with gas stoves. Yeah, me cooking with an open flame. Not a good idea...
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: The Opinionator on May 30, 2010, 08:05:40 PM
When cooking, the pots tend to be hot.

Corollary to this, it is a bad, bad, BAD idea to test just how said pots are with your fingers  ::).

Andra, who did not have fingerprints on one finger for about 2 months after she thought the pot that had been on the stove for about 10 minutes at that point couldn't possibly be that hot.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: kitty-cat on May 30, 2010, 08:21:15 PM
When cooking, the pots tend to be hot.

Corollary to this, it is a bad, bad, BAD idea to test just how said pots are with your fingers  ::).

Andra, who did not have fingerprints on one finger for about 2 months after she thought the pot that had been on the stove for about 10 minutes at that point couldn't possibly be that hot.

Yeah, I forgot that the pan was hot even though there was steam comming up from the green beans... They need to make pans that change color when hot!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Psykogrl on May 30, 2010, 08:33:18 PM
When leaning down into the closet to grab a scoop of cat food to feed the whiney beast, don't lean on the louver door to said closet to prop yourself up... you will close your own head in the door, which will make your husband run in asking if you are ok, then nearly wet himself laughing after you explain the yelp of pain......  ::)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: CG on May 31, 2010, 08:56:29 AM
I know. And yet my mom wants me to move to a place with gas stoves. Yeah, me cooking with an open flame. Not a good idea...

I'm a clutz, and I prefer them because them because once I turn the heat off, the heat is off.  The burner doesn't stay hot for another 20 minutes.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Dazi on May 31, 2010, 11:53:21 AM
When leaning down into the closet to grab a scoop of cat food to feed the whiney beast, don't lean on the louver door to said closet to prop yourself up... you will close your own head in the door, which will make your husband run in asking if you are ok, then nearly wet himself laughing after you explain the yelp of pain......  ::)

I would laugh, but I have done that too...more than once, in fact  ::).
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: magicdomino on May 31, 2010, 05:03:16 PM
If you have had the garden rake out and you just set it in the shed temporarily rather than hanging it where it belongs, don't place it with the tines facing outwards.

I did.  Stepped on the tines, got the handle right between the eyes.  I had a goose egg on my forehead for a week!

Alternate ending:  do not step on the tines when wearing old shoes with the sole worn thin.  Or, if you do, first make sure the first aid kit is properly stocked.  I ended up squishing my way to a drug store to buy gauze and tape, because the little Band-aids weren't enough.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Micah on May 31, 2010, 06:11:03 PM
When leaning down into the closet to grab a scoop of cat food to feed the whiney beast, don't lean on the louver door to said closet to prop yourself up... you will close your own head in the door, which will make your husband run in asking if you are ok, then nearly wet himself laughing after you explain the yelp of pain......  ::)

I've done this....with a car door :-[
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: vorbau on May 31, 2010, 08:49:43 PM
When leaning down into the closet to grab a scoop of cat food to feed the whiney beast, don't lean on the louver door to said closet to prop yourself up... you will close your own head in the door, which will make your husband run in asking if you are ok, then nearly wet himself laughing after you explain the yelp of pain......  ::)

Corollary: When wrapping presents while seated on the basement floor, look up before you stand up. This will save you hitting your head, HARD, on the treadmill console. It will also save many many explanations to family, friends, coworkers, and disbelieving ER personnel as to how you achieved a concussion a week before Christmas.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: M-theory on May 31, 2010, 08:52:13 PM
When leaning down into the closet to grab a scoop of cat food to feed the whiney beast, don't lean on the louver door to said closet to prop yourself up... you will close your own head in the door, which will make your husband run in asking if you are ok, then nearly wet himself laughing after you explain the yelp of pain......  ::)

Corollary: When wrapping presents while seated on the basement floor, look up before you stand up. This will save you hitting your head, HARD, on the treadmill console. It will also save many many explanations to family, friends, coworkers, and disbelieving ER personnel as to how you achieved a concussion a week before Christmas.

Ask me how many times I typically whack my head on the underside of the soap dish while shaving. If I ever build a house/remodel a bathroom, the soap dish won't be at the front of the shower.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: dawbs on May 31, 2010, 09:17:13 PM
When cooking, the pots tend to be hot.

Corollary to this, it is a bad, bad, BAD idea to test just how said pots are with your fingers  ::).

Andra, who did not have fingerprints on one finger for about 2 months after she thought the pot that had been on the stove for about 10 minutes at that point couldn't possibly be that hot.

Yeah, I forgot that the pan was hot even though there was steam comming up from the green beans... They need to make pans that change color when hot!
And this is why my real Murphy's law book lists the first rule of laboratory work as "hot glass looks exactly the same as cold glass"

Which is very true.  Luckily, fingerprints grow back and test tubes are fairly cheap when you hurl them across a room (once your slow brain finally figures out what that pain is). 
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: The Opinionator on May 31, 2010, 09:40:23 PM
Ha, speaking of hot glass, dawbs, I have another one related to laboratory work(although I have almost done the test tube thing. My lab partner stopped me.).

If you've just heated 2 tiny glass tubes to 240C(or anything above 80-90C really) to get a melting point, you may want to consider letting the tubes cool down before picking them up with your bare hands. I think my fingers almost look normal now.

Really, who's bright idea is it to let me in a chemistry lab?
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Kath68 on May 31, 2010, 10:06:33 PM
Don't use a straw to drink just made hot tea. Ouch! Honestly I don't know what posessed me. I don't even use straws for cold drinks.

 
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Zenith on May 31, 2010, 10:45:56 PM
Really, who's bright idea is it to let me in a chemistry lab?

Probably the same person who thinks it's a bright idea to let me vacuum. Seriously, I should have a 'Caution Dangerous' sign on me when I vacuum. I was tangled in 3 curtains (one was the shower curtain), hit on the head by a broom and mop, tripped over a bucket and smacked in the face by a rug. That's not including getting the vacuum nozzle attached to the dog's butt while I was changing heads. She was hiding under the bed and nearly knocked herself out by hitting her head on the slats in fright. This was only in 10 minutes of vacuuming and stuff like this happens every time.

Either I need to stop vacuuming before I do some serious damage or at least start filming myself and sending them in to the funniest videos. It's always utter chaos when I vacuum.

Best chaos was when the vacuum attached itself to the cat. She actually managed to drag the big vax vacuum out the door on the other side of the house while it was sucking up her tail. Man that cat is strong and dang that vax has some suction let me tell ya. I was crying from laughter for the rest of the day.


Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: vorbau on May 31, 2010, 10:52:22 PM
When leaning down into the closet to grab a scoop of cat food to feed the whiney beast, don't lean on the louver door to said closet to prop yourself up... you will close your own head in the door, which will make your husband run in asking if you are ok, then nearly wet himself laughing after you explain the yelp of pain......  ::)

Corollary: When wrapping presents while seated on the basement floor, look up before you stand up. This will save you hitting your head, HARD, on the treadmill console. It will also save many many explanations to family, friends, coworkers, and disbelieving ER personnel as to how you achieved a concussion a week before Christmas.

Ask me how many times I typically whack my head on the underside of the soap dish while shaving. If I ever build a house/remodel a bathroom, the soap dish won't be at the front of the shower.

POD to the nth! When we redid the bathroom, I specified a shower surround that did *not* have a protruding soap dish. DH just cannot understand how, at 5'0", it's the perfect height for me to whack my occiput after washing my feet.

For the same reason I constantly nag the guys to *shut the blinkin' kitchen cupboards*!!! Because the bottom corner is at the exact height of my temple.

Zenith, I think you win the thread. DH just gave me the stinkeye because I'm laughing so loud at your description of vacuuming your pets - he can't hear the TV!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: HeebyJeebyLeebee on May 31, 2010, 10:52:39 PM
Zenith - I am laughing so hard, that I've disturbed Sweet Patootie, Chubby Cat, AND Grumpy Cat!  (Bonny's in the other room)

Why do I read threads like this when I'm trying to go to bed? (And there's another "don't do that" fer ya!)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: RainhaDoTexugo on May 31, 2010, 10:56:09 PM
Ask me how many times I typically whack my head on the underside of the soap dish while shaving. If I ever build a house/remodel a bathroom, the soap dish won't be at the front of the shower.

Hahaha!  My first apartment after moving out of my mom's, I was constantly hitting my head on the toilet paper holder.  I don't even know how I managed it, but I did it all the time.  My roommate did it too, so at least it's not just me!  I also brain myself on the pantry shelves straightening up after feeding the cats every couple months, and OWWWWWWW does that hurt!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: M-theory on May 31, 2010, 10:58:42 PM
DH just cannot understand how, at 5'0", it's the perfect height for me to whack my occiput after washing my feet.

Still completely possible at 5'3". And Rainha, I've hit my head on the toilet paper holder too.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: MrsJWine on May 31, 2010, 11:00:31 PM
Ask me how many times I typically whack my head on the underside of the soap dish while shaving. If I ever build a house/remodel a bathroom, the soap dish won't be at the front of the shower.

Hahaha!  My first apartment after moving out of my mom's, I was constantly hitting my head on the toilet paper holder.  I don't even know how I managed it, but I did it all the time.  My roommate did it too, so at least it's not just me!  I also brain myself on the pantry shelves straightening up after feeding the cats every couple months, and OWWWWWWW does that hurt!

Me:  Size 9-10 feet since 8th-ish grade (I'm 5'5"--HOW IS THIS FAIR??)

I'm 27 years old and still forget that my feet aren't size 5 anymore.  I'm pretty sure my toe bones have permanent scar tissue.  Either that or the corners of all our furniture and walls move daily.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: RainhaDoTexugo on May 31, 2010, 11:05:41 PM
DH just cannot understand how, at 5'0", it's the perfect height for me to whack my occiput after washing my feet.

Still completely possible at 5'3". And Rainha, I've hit my head on the toilet paper holder too.

Hmm, I'm starting to suspect more and more that we really are the same person...
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: M-theory on May 31, 2010, 11:09:27 PM
DH just cannot understand how, at 5'0", it's the perfect height for me to whack my occiput after washing my feet.

Still completely possible at 5'3". And Rainha, I've hit my head on the toilet paper holder too.

Hmm, I'm starting to suspect more and more that we really are the same person...

Nah, you're a nicer person, which is why you're engaged and I'm rearranging my nail polish collection. /world's tiniest violin
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Miss Vertigo on June 01, 2010, 01:18:54 AM
When leaning down into the closet to grab a scoop of cat food to feed the whiney beast, don't lean on the louver door to said closet to prop yourself up... you will close your own head in the door, which will make your husband run in asking if you are ok, then nearly wet himself laughing after you explain the yelp of pain......  ::)

Ahahahaha, I'm sorry for your pain, but that made me laugh so hard.

That said, I'm allowed to laugh; I once shut my own nose in a car door.

Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: purplemuse on June 01, 2010, 08:46:47 AM
Ask me how many times I typically whack my head on the underside of the soap dish while shaving. If I ever build a house/remodel a bathroom, the soap dish won't be at the front of the shower.

Hahaha!  My first apartment after moving out of my mom's, I was constantly hitting my head on the toilet paper holder.  I don't even know how I managed it, but I did it all the time.  My roommate did it too, so at least it's not just me!  I also brain myself on the pantry shelves straightening up after feeding the cats every couple months, and OWWWWWWW does that hurt!

Me:  Size 9-10 feet since 8th-ish grade (I'm 5'5"--HOW IS THIS FAIR??)

I'm 27 years old and still forget that my feet aren't size 5 anymore.  I'm pretty sure my toe bones have permanent scar tissue.  Either that or the corners of all our furniture and walls move daily.

That reminds me that when I was going through puberty, it took me a few years to learn that I had developed hips.  I was constantly bashing them on doorways, table corners, etc.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: LadyRoxi on June 01, 2010, 09:56:05 AM
When moving the bottom of the very heavy cuisinart remove the blade and put it in the plastic chopper thingie where it belongs instead of assuming you wont slip when gripping the base.  My left thumb might never forgive me. :-[
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: MrsJWine on June 01, 2010, 09:59:44 AM
Ask me how many times I typically whack my head on the underside of the soap dish while shaving. If I ever build a house/remodel a bathroom, the soap dish won't be at the front of the shower.

Hahaha!  My first apartment after moving out of my mom's, I was constantly hitting my head on the toilet paper holder.  I don't even know how I managed it, but I did it all the time.  My roommate did it too, so at least it's not just me!  I also brain myself on the pantry shelves straightening up after feeding the cats every couple months, and OWWWWWWW does that hurt!

Me:  Size 9-10 feet since 8th-ish grade (I'm 5'5"--HOW IS THIS FAIR??)

I'm 27 years old and still forget that my feet aren't size 5 anymore.  I'm pretty sure my toe bones have permanent scar tissue.  Either that or the corners of all our furniture and walls move daily.

That reminds me that when I was going through puberty, it took me a few years to learn that I had developed hips.  I was constantly bashing them on doorways, table corners, etc.

Hah!  Me too.  I was a very late bloomer (like, senior year of high school late for some things), so by the time I started growing some curves, my old shape was already deeply ingrained in my head.  I still run into things.  My hips are frequently black and blue.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: guihong on June 01, 2010, 10:14:18 AM
Don't give a 10 year old boy a banana in his lunch on a Friday, especially over a 3 day weekend  :-X.  Failing that, at least check the backpack before sticking your hand in it.  Warm mushy fruit is not pleasant (and ruined his recorder book).

gui
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: mechtilde on June 01, 2010, 10:22:49 AM
Don't give a 10 year old boy a banana in his lunch on a Friday, especially over a 3 day weekend  :-X.  Failing that, at least check the backpack before sticking your hand in it.  Warm mushy fruit is not pleasant (and ruined his recorder book).

gui

I have only one word. And that word in "Bananaguard" http://www.lakeland.co.uk/banana-guard/F/product/10380
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Hushabye on June 01, 2010, 10:43:35 AM
Don't wear a string bikini in place of a bra if you're going to be spending the day at an amusement park.  The spot where you tie the strings in the back *will* come in frequent contact with such things as the seat of roller coasters that propel you forward at speeds in excess of 60 mph, pressing you back firmly and creating a boatload of lovely bruises up and down your spine (or just to one side of it if you're like me and cannot tie the things in the center of your back).

Also, don't apply sunscreen everywhere but your face.  Your nose will not appreciate it.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Bethalize on June 01, 2010, 10:51:46 AM
I have only one word. And that word in "Bananaguard" http://www.lakeland.co.uk/banana-guard/F/product/10380

Bananaguard rocks! We have one. We only use it when people say "You never guess what I saw in the kitchen gadget shop...".

Back to the thread topic: If you decide to try some alternative health regime such as drinking cider vinegar don't ignore the instructions to dilute the vinegar in a glass of water because you think that will mean a larger amount of yucky liquid to swallow. Neat cider burns your throat.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Reika on June 01, 2010, 11:02:38 AM
If you have a glass topped dining room table, check for the corners when you go to bend down to give your cat some loving. Your agonized cry of pain will scare your poor furball and cause your mother to come running out of her bedroom wondering who is killing her baby, even if that baby is an adult.

Fortunately I didn't end up looking like a raccoon or breaking my nose, or even worse, my glasses when I whacked myself good that night.

The next morning mom found it amusing and my poor cat was just relived that it wasn't her fault.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Boots on June 01, 2010, 11:41:38 AM
Don't ignore the droppings of a 200lb beast/dog that lives in your backyard.  Ya, my daughter's entire shoe was encased in said droppings. yuk.

Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Kimblee on June 01, 2010, 12:06:46 PM
When leaning down into the closet to grab a scoop of cat food to feed the whiney beast, don't lean on the louver door to said closet to prop yourself up... you will close your own head in the door, which will make your husband run in asking if you are ok, then nearly wet himself laughing after you explain the yelp of pain......  ::)

Corollary: When wrapping presents while seated on the basement floor, look up before you stand up. This will save you hitting your head, HARD, on the treadmill console. It will also save many many explanations to family, friends, coworkers, and disbelieving ER personnel as to how you achieved a concussion a week before Christmas.

Ask me how many times I typically whack my head on the underside of the soap dish while shaving. If I ever build a house/remodel a bathroom, the soap dish won't be at the front of the shower.

Soap dishes are evil. They just are.

My friend Annie was taking a bath (soap dish on wall to the side of tub) and she was ready to get out (and hugely pregnant) so she gripped the dush to pull herself out, and it came off the wall and hit her right in the face, blacjing her eye and busting her lip. Plus she fell backwards into the tub and bruised her back and shoulders. So she started screaming and her husband Leon ran to the rescue and wrestled her out of the tub, dried her off and helped her put on her "Big ol' preggy lady dress" that Annie swears every woman should have.

And Leon was worried about the babies (twins) so he took her to the hospital, bloody face and all.

Cue doctors, nurses and random civillians thinking Leon beat the poo out of his poor 8 1/2 months pregnant wife. No matter how many times they told the story no one would believe them and Leon got yelled at about what a slime he is, and what if he had hurt his babies?

Then Annie's water broke.

We like to call this story "Murphey laughs at your pitiful wishes for a quiet, happy birth!"

(Annie was fine. Leon is still upset, but also fine. Twins are about three now and a few days ago informed me that they were BOTH gonna marry me. I am love.)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: vorbau on June 01, 2010, 01:43:14 PM
DH just cannot understand how, at 5'0", it's the perfect height for me to whack my occiput after washing my feet.

Still completely possible at 5'3". And Rainha, I've hit my head on the toilet paper holder too.

Hmm, I'm starting to suspect more and more that we really are the same person...

I've done this too - hit both front and back of my head. Do you suppose we are all triplets who were separated at birth?
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: M-theory on June 01, 2010, 02:16:26 PM
Still completely possible at 5'3". And Rainha, I've hit my head on the toilet paper holder too.

Hmm, I'm starting to suspect more and more that we really are the same person...

I've done this too - hit both front and back of my head. Do you suppose we are all triplets who were separated at birth?

We must be. Or it's an epidemic tied in to being short at least part of the time.

Here's one for my BF: No matter how enthusiastically your girlfriend mentions getting a scale to help with weight loss progress, it's a bad choice for a birthday present. Especially if you just got done feeding her blackened snapper, beef tenderloin, and dobos torte.

(No, he didn't actually do this, but he mentioned that perhaps he should have, and didn't understand why I started laughing so hard I could barely talk. It sounds like something out of a sitcom, or the precipitating factor in a murder mystery.)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: RingTailedLemur on June 01, 2010, 02:24:50 PM
Bouncy castles are for children, not adults.

I dislocated my kneecap :(
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: kitty-cat on June 01, 2010, 02:37:20 PM
Bouncy castles are for children, not adults.

I dislocated my kneecap :(

Owie!!! I broke my arm going down the slide of the bouncy obstical cources. July 4th+Georgia+going down slide head first=broken hand/wrist.

(in my defense, my brother went down head first just fine! And it was the summer between 3rd and 4th grade...)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: vorbau on June 01, 2010, 02:39:40 PM
Skateboards are *not* for the over-70 set.

It took four of us (Dad, Jan, Bro and me) to convince the ER staff that yes, Dad really did damage his ankle borrowing the neighbor's grandson's skateboard.

It was an AFV-worthy wipeout, though. And luckily just a bad sprain, not a fracture.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: jayhawk on June 01, 2010, 02:41:21 PM
I was probably about 11 or 12 and Mom told me to iron Dad's handkerchiefs.  I thought I would do it really well and starch them so they'd look very nice.  I think my dad's nose took quite a beating that week, altho he was very kind and didn't say anything to me about it (mom did, tho).
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Outdoor Girl on June 01, 2010, 02:42:00 PM
I was just told about a very active gentleman who was doing all kinds of things into his 90's.  When he was in his 80's, his doctor suggested that perhaps it was time to give up water skiing!   :o

Frankly, I hope I'm alive in my 80's, never mind still being able to ski and garden.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: kitty-cat on June 01, 2010, 02:49:16 PM
I was probably about 11 or 12 and Mom told me to iron Dad's handkerchiefs.  I thought I would do it really well and starch them so they'd look very nice.  I think my dad's nose took quite a beating that week, altho he was very kind and didn't say anything to me about it (mom did, tho).

Hey, thats better than my first forray into doing laundry. I was in, I wanna say, Pre-K and my brother is a year and a half younger than me. Well, one day mom was doing laundry and got called away. We figured we would add the fabric softener for her and close the lid (put clothes in, start it, washing doesnt happen unless lid is closed.) However, we didn't know that you only needed to use a tiny bit in the cap. We poured in most of a bottle. According to mom there were suds everywhere and all of our clothes were blue for ages...
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: CG on June 01, 2010, 03:22:20 PM
I was just told about a very active gentleman who was doing all kinds of things into his 90's.  When he was in his 80's, his doctor suggested that perhaps it was time to give up water skiing!   :o

Frankly, I hope I'm alive in my 80's, never mind still being able to ski and garden.

Hehe. The doctor told Grandpa that he wasn't allowed to carry heavy weights any more.

At his  next appointment, the doctor asked him why he didn't follow directions.  Grandpa told him that he did, he stopped carrying anything over 50 pounds.  Grandpa then received much more specific instructions.  ;D
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Samantha on June 01, 2010, 04:45:13 PM
Me:  Size 9-10 feet since 8th-ish grade (I'm 5'5"--HOW IS THIS FAIR??)

I'm 27 years old and still forget that my feet aren't size 5 anymore.  I'm pretty sure my toe bones have permanent scar tissue.  Either that or the corners of all our furniture and walls move daily.

I'm 5'3 1/4", and I wear anywhere from a 9.5 to an 11 in shoes. In 10th grade, my feet were larger than my boyfriends... and he was 6'4".

Somewhat related, don't try to jump onto a cement thing at the park to look out over the dam. Especially when the cement thing comes to your thigh... Even if you get one foot up there, you'll catch the toe of the other one. I had a HORRIBLE bruise and scrape on my leg (bruise has faded, scrape is clearly visible, even over two weeks later). It looked like I had been hit in the calf with a baseball!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Lysistrata on June 02, 2010, 01:14:36 AM
If you've decided to cook steaks inside, after your pan is super hot and you've added the butter/oil for searing, don't just grab a steak and lay it in with your fingers. I now have a lovely set of red splatter marks all over my hand, wrist, and lower arm. And somehow, a couple on my forehead  ???

Best part? I had a pair of long metal tongs right beside the pan so that I could put the meat in & take it out safely. Oh well, at least the steaks were tasty!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: HeebyJeebyLeebee on June 02, 2010, 08:23:35 AM
Don't run and try to put on pants. 

At summer camp, circa 4th or 5th grade, we were late for our horseback riding time and were running to get to the stables.  We (all of us in the same cabin) made a quick stop at the cabin to get dressed and had run out the door finishing dressing.  I was having trouble with my zipper and was still messing with it when we approached the asphalt road that had recently been re-tarred.  I tripped and landed face first, skidding down the road.  I got tar and a bit of gravel embedded in the scrapes on my chin, nose, and cheek bone.  The nurse decided to clean the scraps gently and removed the chunks, but couldn't get some of the tar residue out.  She decided that the scabs would take care of that as the wounds healed.

I was called Scar Face for the rest of the week.  (the following week I sprained my ankle)   ::)

Oh, and the nurse was right about the tar working its own way out.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: snowfire on June 02, 2010, 11:00:29 AM
We had a friend who messed up his ankle skateboarding.  He called up the doctor to see if he could get in to get an x-ray.  The office person was taking his information: "And how old are you?" "mumble, mumble, mumble 57..." " :o"

Same friend was totally frustrated when the doctor told him he couldn't use his welder any more.  Apparently welder+pacemaker = BAD THINGS.

His wife was also windsurfing in the Pacific Ocean until she was 80. She only quit when she hurt her shoulder pretty badly and couldn't lift the sail any more.  BTW, it was funny to see the 20ish kids on the beach ogling the slim, trim windsurfer in the wetsuit, then see their faces when they realized how old she was. ;D
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: RingTailedLemur on June 02, 2010, 12:26:58 PM
We had a friend who messed up his ankle skateboarding.  He called up the doctor to see if he could get in to get an x-ray.  The office person was taking his information: "And how old are you?" "mumble, mumble, mumble 57..." " :o"

Yup, same thing happened to me with the bouncy castle.

"Sorry, your birthdate is what?"

"Oh... it says you were on a bouncy castle?  Is that right?!"

 :-[
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: vorbau on June 02, 2010, 01:17:21 PM
We had a friend who messed up his ankle skateboarding.  He called up the doctor to see if he could get in to get an x-ray.  The office person was taking his information: "And how old are you?" "mumble, mumble, mumble 57..." " :o"

Yup, same thing happened to me with the bouncy castle.

"Sorry, your birthdate is what?"

"Oh... it says you were on a bouncy castle?  Is that right?!"

 :-[

I think it runs in my family - Dad's mother fell off a ladder at the age of 79 - she was trying to adjust the TV antenna. Doctor was amazed that a) someone of that age would dare a ladder and b) she didn't break anything. Apparently we breed tough old broads in this family ;D. As I have now reached AARP age, I am looking forward to sending my own doctors cross-eyed, especially as DH and I took up kayaking (up to Class III-IV rapids) in April. And, provided we get the mountain cabin fixed (water problems right now), I'm hoping to try snowboarding this coming winter. I'll let you know how it goes ... on the slopes and in the ER.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Slartibartfast on June 02, 2010, 02:19:45 PM
My mom broke her collarbone rollerblading - my brother, age 10, was with her when she fell.  Instead of heading to the hospital a block away, he sprinted fifteen blocks to his best friend's house to have his friend's mom call an ambulance.  Did I mention that this was a small town and my dad is a doctor who sometimes operates at that same hospital?  Yeah, EVERYONE in the ER knew my mom, and gave her heck about rollerblading at age forty-mumble-mumble.  The doctor even told her "If you were his age [gesturing at my brother] this would heal in about three weeks, but for you it's going to take a couple of months at least."

(She doesn't rollerblade anymore, but she does cross-country ski, cycle, hike, canoe, and do all sorts of other stuff that fifty-somethings don't often do as vigorously as they might have used to!)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: rhirhi on June 03, 2010, 01:32:22 PM
I know. And yet my mom wants me to move to a place with gas stoves. Yeah, me cooking with an open flame. Not a good idea...

I'm a clutz, and I prefer them because them because once I turn the heat off, the heat is off.  The burner doesn't stay hot for another 20 minutes.

The fire might be off, but the stand for the pot is hot, and it doesn't give as much warning, being smaller....yeah, cleaning the stove while hot is a good idea, unless you need to get the drip pan, too
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Outdoor Girl on June 04, 2010, 01:19:03 PM
Another thread reminded me of this one...

I was looking after my boss's house while he and his family were away.  I was watering the plants inside.

All of a sudden, I hear the sound of water running onto the tile floor from a height!  It was coming from one of the plants I watered.

As I was cleaning up the mess, wondering what had happened, I figured it out.

The plant I watered?  It was fake.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: MommyPenguin on June 04, 2010, 01:26:10 PM
It's kind of funny, but every time I read this thread, I remember how surprised I was by the first post, about not washing out hair dye in the bathtub.  I don't have a sink with a sprayer and it's not deep enough to wash out hair dye for *long, thick* hair.  The first time I tried to dye my hair, I took a shower and tried to rinse it out that way, by standing under the shower spray.  It took 40 minutes and I never got all of it out.  Then somehow I tried just putting my head under the bath faucet, and wow, it worked!  I didn't get hair dye everywhere, and I got the dye out so much faster!  It was just sort of funny that the first poster had her "don't do that" moment as the method that actually worked perfectly for me!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Pinky830 on June 04, 2010, 02:09:53 PM
If you've decided to cook steaks inside, after your pan is super hot and you've added the butter/oil for searing, don't just grab a steak and lay it in with your fingers. I now have a lovely set of red splatter marks all over my hand, wrist, and lower arm. And somehow, a couple on my forehead  ???

Best part? I had a pair of long metal tongs right beside the pan so that I could put the meat in & take it out safely. Oh well, at least the steaks were tasty!

In other news, when the recipe for pan-seared steak *starts* with "Turn the vent fan on," they are not kidding.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Pinky830 on June 04, 2010, 02:12:36 PM
My mom broke her collarbone rollerblading - my brother, age 10, was with her when she fell.  Instead of heading to the hospital a block away, he sprinted fifteen blocks to his best friend's house to have his friend's mom call an ambulance.  Did I mention that this was a small town and my dad is a doctor who sometimes operates at that same hospital?  Yeah, EVERYONE in the ER knew my mom, and gave her heck about rollerblading at age forty-mumble-mumble.  The doctor even told her "If you were his age [gesturing at my brother] this would heal in about three weeks, but for you it's going to take a couple of months at least."

(She doesn't rollerblade anymore, but she does cross-country ski, cycle, hike, canoe, and do all sorts of other stuff that fifty-somethings don't often do as vigorously as they might have used to!)

This isn't quite that exciting, but my 71-year-old mother had to go to the ER a couple of weeks ago because...she was bitten by a snake. She was walking through tall grass in one of our old pastures and almost stepped on it. She was totally fine, they just updated her tetanus...but I bet they don't see a lot of 71-year-old women doing that.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Hushabye on June 04, 2010, 03:25:43 PM
If the skies are overcast and one thunderstorm has already rolled through for the day, do not, when you come back to work from lunch, leave the windows on your car cracked open.  It WILL start pouring buckets and you WILL remember after it's been raining hard for a while and you WILL get drenched when you make a run for it to roll up the windows.  Then you will spend the remainder of your afternoon sitting at your desk and shivering because it's approximately 65 degrees in your office and you're soaked.   :P
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: geordicat on June 04, 2010, 03:33:59 PM
It's kind of funny, but every time I read this thread, I remember how surprised I was by the first post, about not washing out hair dye in the bathtub.  I don't have a sink with a sprayer and it's not deep enough to wash out hair dye for *long, thick* hair.  The first time I tried to dye my hair, I took a shower and tried to rinse it out that way, by standing under the shower spray.  It took 40 minutes and I never got all of it out.  Then somehow I tried just putting my head under the bath faucet, and wow, it worked!  I didn't get hair dye everywhere, and I got the dye out so much faster!  It was just sort of funny that the first poster had her "don't do that" moment as the method that actually worked perfectly for me!
:)  That was me, and I tried the shower method.  I can't put my head under the faucet directly since there's no room.  By taking the shower, I managed to get hair dye all over the place.

That was the last time I ever dyed my hair, too. 
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Lysistrata on June 04, 2010, 04:25:28 PM
If you've decided to cook steaks inside, after your pan is super hot and you've added the butter/oil for searing, don't just grab a steak and lay it in with your fingers. I now have a lovely set of red splatter marks all over my hand, wrist, and lower arm. And somehow, a couple on my forehead  ???

Best part? I had a pair of long metal tongs right beside the pan so that I could put the meat in & take it out safely. Oh well, at least the steaks were tasty!

In other news, when the recipe for pan-seared steak *starts* with "Turn the vent fan on," they are not kidding.

Definitely! I had mine on low but DH peeked in to see how it was going, and the next thing I knew, all the windows in the front of the house were open and he was fanning the air in front of the smoke detector so it wouldn't start beeping, I guess it didn't seem *that* bad to me because I was in the middle of all the smoke!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Amava on June 04, 2010, 04:50:28 PM
If you've decided to cook steaks inside, after your pan is super hot and you've added the butter/oil for searing, don't just grab a steak and lay it in with your fingers. I now have a lovely set of red splatter marks all over my hand, wrist, and lower arm. And somehow, a couple on my forehead  ???
I am really glad your eyes weren't hit.  :o
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: applied4 on June 04, 2010, 08:38:14 PM
Don't try to turn a lawn mower off by pulling the spark plug wire off the spark plug. 
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: MrsJWine on June 04, 2010, 09:18:57 PM
If you reheat a container of mixed veggies, don't save yourself time on washing a dirty spoon by putting the top back on and shaking instead of stirring (there's a James Bond joke in here somewhere).  Mixed veggie bomb all over my kitchen.  On the bright side, my floor is now sparkling clean.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: snowfire on June 04, 2010, 10:20:27 PM
When you have been using a utility knife, retract the blade before you stick it in your pocket.  :o
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Micah on June 06, 2010, 06:23:55 AM
When you've just opened a can of sweetened condensed milk and a little bit spills over the edge, don't run your finger around the edge to catch it. Pain, lots of blood and three bandaids later....what the heck was i thinking?
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Linley on June 06, 2010, 11:30:04 AM
It is probably best to use a proper screwdriver rather than a Swiss army knife on stubborn screws, there is a high likelihood that otherwise you will plunge the point of the bottle opener of which the screwdriver piece is the top into your hand. I did this not once but repeatedly in the course of five minutes of stubbornness, in one case opening a deep wound at the base of my finger that is making my finger stiff.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: M-theory on June 06, 2010, 05:55:18 PM
You know those extra strength hair removal creams? If you accidentally get some on the sensitive skin behind your knees and it starts stinging DO NOT RUB IT IN!

My minor chemical burns are healing nicely, thank you for asking  :-[

In the same vein, don't use depilatory creams on the bikini zone unless the bottle SAYS it's for use on the bikini zone. Chemical burns are worse in some places than in others...
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: RainhaDoTexugo on June 06, 2010, 06:34:17 PM
If you spend a chunk of your day trying to catch a lost dog you spotted wandering into the grocery store parking lot, and fail to catch her, don't post about it on facebook without clarifying that it wasn't your dog that was lost, thus scaring several of your friends.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: dawbs on June 07, 2010, 01:12:37 PM
I've learned this before...but I re-learned this weekend.
The best way to remove hot glue from bare skin is NOT with even-more bare skin.

The hand I got it on didn't blister.
The hand I grabbed that hand with DID.
I had a towel AND a glass of water sitting *right there* but apparently I panic quite well.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Hushabye on June 07, 2010, 01:16:07 PM
If you're going to throw away your receipt after making a purchase at a restaurant, don't also throw your debit card in with it.  You will not realize that you have done so until you are sitting at the gas station, car on empty, praying that there are enough fumes to get you home to your husband's debit card.  *facepalm*
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Amava on June 07, 2010, 01:40:31 PM
If you spend a chunk of your day trying to catch a lost dog you spotted wandering into the grocery store parking lot, and fail to catch her, don't post about it on facebook without clarifying that it wasn't your dog that was lost, thus scaring several of your friends.
Ironically, I didn't get past the bolded without thinking: "OH NO!! Tatum got lost???"

Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: RainhaDoTexugo on June 07, 2010, 01:50:50 PM
If you spend a chunk of your day trying to catch a lost dog you spotted wandering into the grocery store parking lot, and fail to catch her, don't post about it on facebook without clarifying that it wasn't your dog that was lost, thus scaring several of your friends.
Ironically, I didn't get past the bolded without thinking: "OH NO!! Tatum got lost???"



See what I mean?  I even got a panicked text from a friend ::)  (that eye roll is directed at me, not friend!)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: hobish on June 07, 2010, 03:00:41 PM
Bouncy castles are for children, not adults.

I dislocated my kneecap :(

Oof. I sprained my ankle pretty badly in one of those about two years ago, and elbowed some poor girl hard in the breast in doing it. There were more people injured in the bouncy house than on the mechanical bull!

I hope your knee is ok!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: kitty_ev on June 07, 2010, 03:04:02 PM
I learned one the hard way. We'd just moved into our last house and had a new hoover. I'd baked a cake and managed to spill a fairly large amount of flour and icing sugar over the sideboard. I decided to use the new hoover to suck up the worst of it then wipe off the rest. Unfortunately the suction was far stronger than I expected and took my watch. Retrieving the watch from the hoover bag was not the most pleasant of experiences.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: hobish on June 07, 2010, 03:58:50 PM
You know those extra strength hair removal creams? If you accidentally get some on the sensitive skin behind your knees and it starts stinging DO NOT RUB IT IN!

My minor chemical burns are healing nicely, thank you for asking  :-[

In the same vein, don't use depilatory creams on the bikini zone unless the bottle SAYS it's for use on the bikini zone. Chemical burns are worse in some places than in others...

Also when they say not to get it near broken skin they really really mean it.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: funnybunny on June 07, 2010, 10:30:32 PM
Loving this thread.  Two things.

1.  Spider:  don't jump out of a moving car, even if it's going slowly, just because a giant spider drops down from the visor.  Not a good move.  (Although it does shake up the other people in the car!)

2.  Don't use Clorox to clean the ammonia-soaked cat box.  Not if you want to breathe again in the next few years.  Ouch.  From now on, I will just buy a new one.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: MrsJWine on June 08, 2010, 12:37:58 AM
1.  Spider:  don't jump out of a moving car, even if it's going slowly, just because a giant spider drops down from the visor.  Not a good move.  (Although it does shake up the other people in the car!)

Are you me?

Yes, I did do this on a first date in high school.  Yes, I was driving.  Yes, I did climb across the guy to get out the other side.  Yes, we did continue to date for months.

He was either crazy or really nice.  Not sure which yet.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: kitty_ev on June 08, 2010, 04:24:16 AM
When cleaning the oven with Mr Muscle or some other sort of oven cleaning foam, keep your mouth closed whilst spraying. Surprisingly, the incredibly strong alkalis used to clean do not taste good.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: zoidberg on June 08, 2010, 06:51:25 AM
If you're seriously caffeine deprived and in a funk because your baby decided that 0 - 4 a. m. is a fine time to play, do not try to make espresso with the  espresso maker that goes on the stove top. You'll only grab the instant coffe by mistake and then wonder why your espresso won't finish and there is no delicious espresso smell in the air. Instead, you'll have to clean out gross instant coffee sludge out of your espresso maker. Blurgh!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Tierrainney on June 08, 2010, 09:41:51 AM
When cleaning the oven with Mr Muscle or some other sort of oven cleaning foam, keep your mouth closed whilst spraying. Surprisingly, the incredibly strong alkalis used to clean do not taste good.

Or as a friend of mine learned, make sure you have the spray nozzle lined up correctly and are spraying in the direction of the oven.  Alkali burns on the eye really hurt!  (her vision was fine once it healed)

Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Fleur-de-Lis on June 08, 2010, 10:16:54 AM
If you're seriously caffeine deprived and in a funk because your baby decided that 0 - 4 a. m. is a fine time to play, do not try to make espresso with the  espresso maker that goes on the stove top. You'll only grab the instant coffe by mistake and then wonder why your espresso won't finish and there is no delicious espresso smell in the air. Instead, you'll have to clean out gross instant coffee sludge out of your espresso maker. Blurgh!

This would be why after I discovered I had a $700 a year Starbucks habit, I decided I could do a poor woman's cafe au lait at home, heating the milk in the microwave, instead of having a latte.  I do not need to play with steam before I have coffee. 

Emma
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: M-theory on June 08, 2010, 11:27:54 AM
Close the Sriracha bottle before shaking! Really. This is important.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: RingTailedLemur on June 08, 2010, 01:32:48 PM
Bouncy castles are for children, not adults.

I dislocated my kneecap :(

Oof. I sprained my ankle pretty badly in one of those about two years ago, and elbowed some poor girl hard in the breast in doing it. There were more people injured in the bouncy house than on the mechanical bull!

I hope your knee is ok!

Thank you.  The doctor said it would take a year to recover, it's been just over a year and it's not the same   :(
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: RingTailedLemur on June 08, 2010, 01:36:05 PM


1.  Spider:  don't jump out of a moving car, even if it's going slowly, just because a giant spider drops down from the visor.  Not a good move.  (Although it does shake up the other people in the car!)


I was out with my family when I was about fifteen.  Stepdad driving, me in the front, Mum and bro in the back (apparently bro and I had been arguing, so we'd been separated).  The biggest cricket ever (seriously, it was 3 or 4 inches long) hopped out near Mum, who screamed and was suddenly sitting on my brother.  We all started yelling, "Stop the car!  Stop the car!".  As soon as stepdad pulled over we all leapt out, with him sitting there going, "...what?"
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Suze on June 08, 2010, 03:48:09 PM
I found out one time that paint thinner and alchoel to me taste the same

dad was painting the house
mom told me to go get him for supper
I got a face full of paint thinner when he flipped the brush as I rounded the corner of the house

bleck

good thing for glasses
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: hobish on June 08, 2010, 03:51:27 PM
I found out one time that paint thinner and alchoel to me taste the same

dad was painting the house
mom told me to go get him for supper
I got a face full of paint thinner when he flipped the brush as I rounded the corner of the house

bleck

good thing for glasses


Lincoln, Lincoln
I've been thinkin'
What on Earth
Have you been drinkin'?
Tastes like whiskey,
Smells like wine,
Oh my gosh,
It's turpentine!

:)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: RingTailedLemur on June 09, 2010, 02:49:18 PM
I got a shot of tequila right in the eye once, it spurted out of the optic as I put it in.  Owie!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: zoidberg on June 09, 2010, 04:15:18 PM
Don't wipe the knife you just sharpened with a thin dish-washing towel while applying copious amounts of pressure. My shouts of "Dear God, it won't stop bleeding!" were heard miles away. I tend to overreact when confronted with bleeding wounds.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: hobish on June 09, 2010, 05:48:24 PM
I hope i haven't posted this one already...


One my bro learned the hard way. Do not – repeat - do not take the stuff from leftover fireworks, pack it together into a canister and light it off in your kitchen. You may lose a finger and end up being noticed by the FBI for making a bomb.

Why, yes, we are a little bit redneck, as a matter of fact, on our mother’s side. Thank you for asking.


…that one took a while to be funny.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Slartibartfast on June 09, 2010, 06:06:40 PM
I hope i haven't posted this one already...


One my bro learned the hard way. Do not – repeat - do not take the stuff from leftover fireworks, pack it together into a canister and light it off in your kitchen. You may lose a finger and end up being noticed by the FBI for making a bomb.

Why, yes, we are a little bit redneck, as a matter of fact, on our mother’s side. Thank you for asking.


…that one took a while to be funny.


Ooh, also, if you're at your grandparents' house for the Fourth of July and you find your uncle's stash of leftover fireworks from the 1970's, they will be extra-exciting to play with.  The bottle rockets will also have random fuses.  Some will sit there for a minute or two before going off, some will be duds, and some will go off less than a second after you light them, making you realize that you really do value all your fingers and you'd like to keep them intact, thanks.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Outdoor Girl on June 10, 2010, 09:36:06 AM
The fireworks reminded me of this story...

Many moons ago, my parents and my Dad's brother were working at a summer camp for kids.  These three took a war canoe out into the middle of the lake after dark and were lighting fire crackers and tossing them into the air for the kids to see.

My Dad would light one, hold it for a few seconds, then toss it into the air so that it exploded at close to it's zenith.  My uncle and Mom would light them and throw them right away because they were too nervous to hang on to them.  So they'd explode just above or in the water.

My uncle threw one, had it hit the side of the canoe and roll back down into the bottom.  My quick thinking mother grabbed her life preservoir, put it over the fire cracker and sat on it!

After that, my uncle lit them one by one, handing them to my Dad to throw.

Apparently, the kids thought there were about 10 people in that canoe, not just 3, by the commotion.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: vorbau on June 10, 2010, 02:56:01 PM
If you are purchasing sugar-free sweets made with sugar alcohols (sorbitol, mannitol, xylitol) HEED the warning that eating too much may result in Sudden Butt Explosion Disorder.

DH did not and ate an entire 8oz chocolate bar at one go. Then spent most of the night in the bathroom. He now has adult diaper rash and my bathroom smells like someone pooed on a pinecone.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: hobish on June 10, 2010, 03:29:14 PM
If you are purchasing sugar-free sweets made with sugar alcohols (sorbitol, mannitol, xylitol) HEED the warning that eating too much may result in Sudden Butt Explosion Disorder.

DH did not and ate an entire 8oz chocolate bar at one go. Then spent most of the night in the bathroom. He now has adult diaper rash and my bathroom smells like someone pooed on a pinecone.

Oh, my. My co-workers are now wondering why i am shaking silently with tears in my eyes.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Midnight Kitty on June 10, 2010, 04:15:01 PM
2.  Don't use Clorox to clean the ammonia-soaked cat box.  Not if you want to breathe again in the next few years.
IIRC, ammonia + chlorine = toxic gas.  See http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_happens_when_you_mix_ammonia_with_chlorine (http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_happens_when_you_mix_ammonia_with_chlorine)

I vaguely recall my father (a chemical engineer who specialized in disaster recovery and preparedness) telling me that Hitler used gas created this way to kill Jews in the Holocaust.  My father (& me) have Polish Jewish ancestors which makes me part Jewish even though I was raised Protestant.  I provide this background so you all won't get offended and will understand why Dad said "Don't mix ammonia with chlorine unless you are planning to kill some Jews." (he meant us)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Dazi on June 10, 2010, 05:55:45 PM
If you are purchasing sugar-free sweets made with sugar alcohols (sorbitol, mannitol, xylitol) HEED the warning that eating too much may result in Sudden Butt Explosion Disorder.

DH did not and ate an entire 8oz chocolate bar at one go. Then spent most of the night in the bathroom. He now has adult diaper rash and my bathroom smells like someone pooed on a pinecone.

I absolutely agree with this. 85g packet of SF caramel chews in two hours is apparently "excess consumption"

If you are a bit plugged up though it works so much better and quicker than laxatives .  ;)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: M-theory on June 10, 2010, 06:56:38 PM
I never learn this and always eat the entire package at once. My reasoning is that I'd do the same with a package of full-sugar whatever, so I'm technically doing less damage this way.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: goblue2539 on June 10, 2010, 07:55:02 PM
I finally got one to add to this thread.

Do NOT think that the same amount of sunscreen that lasts for a few hours at the beach will last even a 10th that long at the water park.  Sunburned legs, hip to toe, are extremely painful.

Funny side note, only the front is burned.  It ends nearly at the seam in my pants due to sitting in the floats.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: kitty_ev on June 10, 2010, 08:04:09 PM
When crowd-surfing at a gig, avoid wearing a vest top if you are female. You may end up giving the band an eyeful and distracting them from their set. If you intend to crowd surf, ensure your clothing is adequate. Regardless of gender, avoid chunky boots such as New Rocks- they are not pleasant if they catch you around the head, and if you concuss the crowd members they will be incapable or disinclined to keep you surfing.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Gyburc on June 11, 2010, 05:34:36 AM
If you are going to fence with someone you don't know all that well, and insist on doing it without the full proper protection, and using replica historical blades that you haven't checked properly in advance, and then get yourself stabbed right through the upper arm/shoulder...

...don't do it in France.

French A&E departments have long waiting times, especially over a Bank Holiday weekend.

Once you are finally seen by a doctor, he will inspect the entry and exit wounds and go 'hmmm'. Then he will abandon you because the petite blonde who has accompanied you (because she speaks better French) has a thing about blood and injuries, and is sitting on the floor explaining that she might pass out, but not to worry. The doctor will insist on trying to look after said petite blonde rather than patch the holes in your arm. Fortunately, they are no longer actually bleeding.

Then, the doctor will disappear with vague promises of sending in 'the specialist'. (Specialist in what??) Every couple of minutes, a new doctor will come in, peer at your arm, go 'hmmm' and then leave, promising that 'the specialist' will be right with you.

Petite blonde will catch on to this, and put her head out of the door to hear the following exchange:

'How did he get this injury again?'
'He was sword-fighting.'
'He's 47. Isn't he a bit old to be playing with swords?'

After about 5 hours in total, you will be bandaged up, a nice French nurse will give you a tetanus shot and you and petite blonde will be able to leave l'hopital, hopefully for ever. You will be met by the person who stuck the sword through your arm, filled with remorse, who will pay for a slap-up dinner for you.

And the hospital staff will have one heck of a story about les fous anglais!  ;D

Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Nimblicity on June 13, 2010, 01:03:08 PM
I learned one the hard way. We'd just moved into our last house and had a new hoover. I'd baked a cake and managed to spill a fairly large amount of flour and icing sugar over the sideboard. I decided to use the new hoover to suck up the worst of it then wipe off the rest. Unfortunately the suction was far stronger than I expected and took my watch. Retrieving the watch from the hoover bag was not the most pleasant of experiences.

That's like something you'd see in a movie! I just laughed so hard DH closed the door so he could have some peace and quiet!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Slartibartfast on June 13, 2010, 02:09:15 PM
I made some particularly gooey brownies once, so I served them in bowls with lots of powdered sugar on top.  DH leaned over his and inhaled deeply, intending to comment about the smell of warm brownies - instead, he inhaled some powdered sugar, which made him sneeze, which blew ALL the powdered sugar off his brownie, reflected off the bottom of the bowl, and absolutely coated his face and beard in it.  He looked like he stuck his face in a snow machine.

Of course, this made me laugh so hard I choked on my bite of brownie and got powdered sugar on me, too  :P
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: kitty_ev on June 13, 2010, 07:37:48 PM
I made some particularly gooey brownies once, so I served them in bowls with lots of powdered sugar on top.  DH leaned over his and inhaled deeply, intending to comment about the smell of warm brownies - instead, he inhaled some powdered sugar, which made him sneeze, which blew ALL the powdered sugar off his brownie, reflected off the bottom of the bowl, and absolutely coated his face and beard in it.  He looked like he stuck his face in a snow machine.

Of course, this made me laugh so hard I choked on my bite of brownie and got powdered sugar on me, too  :P

 :D That was the best start to my week EVER!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: HeebyJeebyLeebee on June 14, 2010, 08:09:25 AM
On a similar note to not inhaling powdered sugar - don't try to snif down a stuffy nose when you're sweeping up dog and cat hair.   :P  I did that yesterday.  The gagging wasn't fun.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: ladiedeathe on June 14, 2010, 10:46:42 AM
Early 70's- my father  (the engineer) gets left alone with my 6 yr old sister and some vague instructions to "Clean that bleepity bleep gerbil cage because the thing stinks!" Mom and I head out to a morning of shopping and groceries.

We come home. The couch is on it's side with the bottom torn out. The chair is on it's side with the bottom torn out. A lamp is smashed. Sis is sitting on floor by the couch with a dustpan and brush, busily pushing stuffing into a pile. She starts to cry when she sees Mom's face. The cannister vac is in the middle of the dining room floor with the lid off- the bag is Frankensteined together with staples and tape. Dirt and dust cover the dining room.

Between sobs Sis gets out "He did it!"

My shame-faced paternal unit emerges from the bathroom where he went to wash off evidence. The story emerges.

Not wanting to in any way touch soiled gerbil bedding, Dad had a fiendish plan. With the six small and 2 adult gerbils STILL IN THE TWO FOOT LONG CAGE, Dad gets out the sweeper and attempts to simply "suck up" the offending material. My sister watches in horror as , on the second pass, a small gerbil goes "swump" right up the tube. She screams.

Panicked, Dad drops the hose and turns to see why she is screaming. He drops the end into the remaining pile of cowering little gerbils. Five more go "swump" in rapid succession as Sis screams and dances.

Thinking she is somehow really hurt, Dad scoops her up. As he turns, he hits the metal vac tube sticking out of the cage. The cage goes over. Two adult gerbils run like hell to get away from the crazy people. They head under the couch and the chair in the living room.

Once he realizes what happened, Dad explains to his sobbing kid that he will "fix" it (obviously a new definition of "fix" that no one has yet learned). He opens the vac, and, witout further ado, rips open the sweeper bag.

Terrorized baby gerbils explode like popcorn and follow thair parents. A cloud of dirt and dust proceeds to cover the dining room.

Dad runs to the living room as Sis points out where the furry escapees have gone. No longer under the furniture, they have made it inside. Cushions get hurled into a pile. There is an inadvisable attept to "shake them out"- stopped only when the arm of the couch smashes a lamp. Undaunted, Dad flips the couch and chair completely over, and slashes the bottoms open. He pulls out a few random bits of stuffing in the process.

The gerbils give up and are snared at last. Dad tells Sis optimistically "Sure, we can get this cleaned up before they get home. It will be our little secret."

Dad is proved false on this assertion, as Mom chases him out the door with a broom. The house is returned to order. The gerbils are given to a friend.

Cleaning gerbils with a vaccuum- uh, ya, don't do that.

Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Bethalize on June 14, 2010, 10:48:59 AM
Cleaning gerbils with a vaccuum- uh, ya, don't do that.

Oh, ladiedeathe! You slay me. That was so funny!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: kitty_ev on June 14, 2010, 11:35:14 AM
Early 70's- my father  (the engineer) gets left alone with my 6 yr old sister and some vague instructions to "Clean that bleepity bleep gerbil cage because the thing stinks!" Mom and I head out to a morning of shopping and groceries.

We come home. The couch is on it's side with the bottom torn out. The chair is on it's side with the bottom torn out. A lamp is smashed. Sis is sitting on floor by the couch with a dustpan and brush, busily pushing stuffing into a pile. She starts to cry when she sees Mom's face. The cannister vac is in the middle of the dining room floor with the lid off- the bag is Frankensteined together with staples and tape. Dirt and dust cover the dining room.

Between sobs Sis gets out "He did it!"

My shame-faced paternal unit emerges from the bathroom where he went to wash off evidence. The story emerges.

Not wanting to in any way touch soiled gerbil bedding, Dad had a fiendish plan. With the six small and 2 adult gerbils STILL IN THE TWO FOOT LONG CAGE, Dad gets out the sweeper and attempts to simply "suck up" the offending material. My sister watches in horror as , on the second pass, a small gerbil goes "swump" right up the tube. She screams.

Panicked, Dad drops the hose and turns to see why she is screaming. He drops the end into the remaining pile of cowering little gerbils. Five more go "swump" in rapid succession as Sis screams and dances.

Thinking she is somehow really hurt, Dad scoops her up. As he turns, he hits the metal vac tube sticking out of the cage. The cage goes over. Two adult gerbils run like hell to get away from the crazy people. They head under the couch and the chair in the living room.

Once he realizes what happened, Dad explains to his sobbing kid that he will "fix" it (obviously a new definition of "fix" that no one has yet learned). He opens the vac, and, witout further ado, rips open the sweeper bag.

Terrorized baby gerbils explode like popcorn and follow thair parents. A cloud of dirt and dust proceeds to cover the dining room.

Dad runs to the living room as Sis points out where the furry escapees have gone. No longer under the furniture, they have made it inside. Cushions get hurled into a pile. There is an inadvisable attept to "shake them out"- stopped only when the arm of the couch smashes a lamp. Undaunted, Dad flips the couch and chair completely over, and slashes the bottoms open. He pulls out a few random bits of stuffing in the process.

The gerbils give up and are snared at last. Dad tells Sis optimistically "Sure, we can get this cleaned up before they get home. It will be our little secret."

Dad is proved false on this assertion, as Mom chases him out the door with a broom. The house is returned to order. The gerbils are given to a friend.

Cleaning gerbils with a vaccuum- uh, ya, don't do that.



The worrying thing is, I can *totally* see my fiance doing something like this. I think it takes the same sort of brain that he has- the sort that would try to 'fix' the fuse box with a hammer.

Thank you for cheering up my day  ;D
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: POF on June 14, 2010, 11:39:32 AM
[Cleaning gerbils with a vaccuum- uh, ya, don't do that.



Too too funny
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Dindrane on June 14, 2010, 12:15:30 PM
So first, if you are going out of town for a week, and you are the only person in the house who drinks coffee, don't forget to throw away the grounds you used for your last pot before you leave.

Second, if you do forget to toss out the used coffee grounds, don't forget to ask your darling DF to throw them out for you.

Third, if you forget both of those things, try to remember to check the coffee pot the day you get back, rather than waiting until Monday morning when you have to go to work (and thus, want coffee).  The grounds will mold, and it will be rather icky.

Fourth, if you don't check the coffee pot until Monday morning, only to discover that the grounds and some dregs that you apparently left in the pot have gone moldy, forgoing coffee for the morning in favor of cleaning the pot is an excellent idea.

What is not an excellent idea is deciding to run vinegar through the coffee pot, but forgetting that vinegar steam is just vaporized vinegar.  Neglecting to be careful as you dump out the hot vinegar from the pot, and rinse it with cold water (creating more vinegar-steam) means that you will probably accidentally inhale some vinegar.  It probably won't kill you, but it's not the most fun way in the world to start your Monday.  It certainly can't compare to coffee.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: RainhaDoTexugo on June 14, 2010, 12:23:05 PM
Oh, Ladiedeathe, that was hilarious (once I read that the little guys were okay).  I had to read it to DF :D
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: snowfire on June 14, 2010, 12:26:52 PM
gerbils + vacuum = (http://bestsmileys.com/lol/13.gif)

A bored engineer is a dangerous thing!!!!

Glad the gerbils were okay.  I can just see your Mom chasing him out of the room.  My Mom did that to my Dad one time when he brought his un-housebroken rabbit into the house and let it pee all over the rug.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: MrsJWine on June 14, 2010, 02:45:47 PM
[Cleaning gerbils with a vaccuum- uh, ya, don't do that.



Too too funny

I think "swump" is my new favorite sound effect.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Gwywnnydd on June 14, 2010, 06:50:22 PM
My sister watches in horror as , on the second pass, a small gerbil goes "swump" right up the tube. She screams.

Oh my, I have tears in my eyes right now...
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Suze on June 14, 2010, 07:06:33 PM
poor little gerbiles (glad they were ok)

"swump" >can hear it now and am dying laughing<
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: geordicat on June 14, 2010, 07:29:29 PM
Is anybody else seeing that foster parent commercial with the kids and the empty gerbil cage?  And the mom, vacuuming... and the look on her face... SWUMP!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Pinky830 on June 14, 2010, 08:28:51 PM
I finally got one to add to this thread.

Do NOT think that the same amount of sunscreen that lasts for a few hours at the beach will last even a 10th that long at the water park.  Sunburned legs, hip to toe, are extremely painful.

Funny side note, only the front is burned.  It ends nearly at the seam in my pants due to sitting in the floats.

Oh, POD to that. My kids both got sunburned today...not too bed but bad enough...today at a water park. Even with 70 SPF sunscreen (I didn't even know they made it that high) all over. Poor things. Oh, and somehow DS has big red welts on his back from the seams on the floats. I was afraid someone was going to call CPS. It looks exactly like someone horsewhipped him.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Luci on June 15, 2010, 12:18:43 AM
To: ladiedeathe and the gerbils:

I was totally horrified until you got to the part about the babies escaping the vacuum bag, then I laughed like crazy.

Thanks for that, and I  hope the many-greats grandchildren of the escaped gerbils are still telling the story of the great vacuum escape.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Zenith on June 15, 2010, 01:26:05 AM
Oh man, I'm in tears over the gerbils. Poor things. All I can hear in my head is 'swump'.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: hot_shaker on June 15, 2010, 07:00:14 AM
The gerbil story could be the funniest thing I've ever read here on EHell!  I love the fact that he thought he could hide what he'd done; that's totally something I would do.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: kitty_ev on June 15, 2010, 07:29:06 AM
Ladiedeathe- the gerbil story is continuing to make me laugh every time I think about it. Thank you so much! It's probably one of the best I've ever heard!  ;D
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: ladiedeathe on June 15, 2010, 11:24:11 AM
Poor Dad is now 70 and still has not lived down sucking up the gerbils, checking Sis's diaper by putting his hand down the back, or letting me fall down a muskrat hole while taking me fishing and "watching" me. And the sad part is the man is brilliant, had quite a bit to do with designing the first American robots, and was trusted to do safety and quality assurance on massive machines for multinational companies.

Give 'im a kid, however, and his brain goes "whuh?"
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: VorFemme on June 15, 2010, 11:35:45 AM
Poor Dad is now 70 and still has not lived down sucking up the gerbils, checking Sis's diaper by putting his hand down the back, or letting me fall down a muskrat hole while taking me fishing and "watching" me. And the sad part is the man is brilliant, had quite a bit to do with designing the first American robots, and was trusted to do safety and quality assurance on massive machines for multinational companies.

Give 'im a kid, however, and his brain goes "whuh?"

Kids do not perform as programmed.  I have engineers in my family, too.  The viewpoint is......interesting.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: tarheel220 on June 15, 2010, 01:48:37 PM
Ladydiedeathe, I just went and reread the story and am sitting here at work silently howling with laughter at the visuals!  ;D
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: faithlessone on June 15, 2010, 05:29:41 PM
Eye makeup remover is for eye makeup.
Sea-Breeze is for face makeup.
Some lessons are best learned through negative reinforcement.

From my housemate (in a similar vein) - Nail polish remover is for nails. Toner is for faces.

That was a slightly painful day for her.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: MrsJWine on June 15, 2010, 09:09:35 PM
I may have posted this before, but diaper rash cream and toothpaste should NOT be kept in the same bathroom.   Possibly not even in the same house, if you're tired enough.  :-X
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Seraphia on June 15, 2010, 10:03:00 PM
Ohhh...those poor gerbils. Your poor sister. .......SWUMP! Bahahahaha!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: White Dragon on June 15, 2010, 11:08:14 PM
Yesterday, at work...

I'm working at K's desk because I need her specialized computer.

K is at another desk, training the new hire (new as in...it's her first day).

K says casually to me "Pass me my pencil, would you?"

So I toss it to her.
A mechanical pencil.
With the lead sticking out.

K now has a small hole in her hand where she attempted to catch said tossed pencil.
(Not sure what the new hire thought, but she showed up again today, so that's good!)

Fast forward to today.
K is back at her desk.
She is complaining because the leads in her pencil are broken.
Apparently (ahem) someone tossed her pencil around yesterday.

When I decline to express sympathy, she offers to duplicate the puncture wounds.

I declined.  >:D
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Ereine on June 15, 2010, 11:45:37 PM
Puncture wounds caused by pencils remind me of something I shouldn't have probably done. I used to really like what Wikipedia calls dip pens (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dip_pen). I had a ceramic mug containing a couple of them and some other assorted pens and pencils on my window sill, the dip pens were usually with their nibs upwards (they're rather sharp) and I was usually too lazy to really clean them, I would just wipe them with paper. Also on the window sill was a stack of books. One day I leaned forward to take a book, forgot the pens and when I straightened there was a pen stuck to my forehead. It didn't cause a wound but as it was inky I now have a tattooed dot on my face. It happened at least four years ago and you can still see the it, though fortunately only if you look closely, so it doesn't bother me. And I find it funny that technically I have a tattoo on my face :)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Martienne on June 16, 2010, 11:26:00 AM
I just remembered about the time we were moving some stuff around in our bedroom. It's one of those attic rooms that has a banister around the staircase opening instead of a full-height wall. There was a stack of books against the short end of the banister and I bent over to pick the stack up. My head cracked against the banister before I could reach the stack. Somehow I couldn't comprehend that just because there was no piece of wall at full head height, that didn't mean I could just pass my head through the part that was there.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Luci on June 16, 2010, 06:06:31 PM
I have such a short memory that at least every 5 years I must close a drawer or closet door with my hand wrapped around the closing part.  It's a law of nature for me. Oh! No! I think it's been about 4 1/2 years!

I had a student who was bending over to flip her hair up and bumped into the corner of her dresser - oops! black eye! (No child abuse issues here.)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: hobish on June 16, 2010, 06:11:39 PM
Puncture wounds caused by pencils remind me of something I shouldn't have probably done. I used to really like what Wikipedia calls dip pens (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dip_pen). I had a ceramic mug containing a couple of them and some other assorted pens and pencils on my window sill, the dip pens were usually with their nibs upwards (they're rather sharp) and I was usually too lazy to really clean them, I would just wipe them with paper. Also on the window sill was a stack of books. One day I leaned forward to take a book, forgot the pens and when I straightened there was a pen stuck to my forehead. It didn't cause a wound but as it was inky I now have a tattooed dot on my face. It happened at least four years ago and you can still see the it, though fortunately only if you look closely, so it doesn't bother me. And I find it funny that technically I have a tattoo on my face :)

That is awesome.
:) There is a vendor who comes to my work every so often who sells those pens (amoong other things). I will have to resist the urge to buy a set just to do home tattoo on myself.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: kitty-cat on June 16, 2010, 11:01:46 PM
On a related note: if pencil graphite gets under your skin, it won't come out. I accidentally stabbed myself with a really, really, REALLY sharp pencil one day in 7-8th grade. I still have the black mark on my hand.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: hot_shaker on June 16, 2010, 11:08:50 PM
On a related note: if pencil graphite gets under your skin, it won't come out. I accidentally stabbed myself with a really, really, REALLY sharp pencil one day in 7-8th grade. I still have the black mark on my hand.

In first grade, I was trying to stab the point of a pencil into the eraser of another pencil.  I missed and stabbed myself in the crook between my thumb and forefinger.  Twenty-five years later, I can still make out the faint gray dot.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: MrsJWine on June 16, 2010, 11:16:05 PM
On a related note: if pencil graphite gets under your skin, it won't come out. I accidentally stabbed myself with a really, really, REALLY sharp pencil one day in 7-8th grade. I still have the black mark on my hand.

In first grade, I was trying to stab the point of a pencil into the eraser of another pencil.  I missed and stabbed myself in the crook between my thumb and forefinger.  Twenty-five years later, I can still make out the faint gray dot.

And I still have a tiny dot of blue dye (or maybe it's a fleck of plastic) still embedded in my wrist from a plastic rope ladder on a friend's playground set.  When I slipped on the ladder, my wrist rubbed hard against it, and the whole inside was freckled with the little pieces.  This one stuck.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: HeebyJeebyLeebee on June 17, 2010, 07:38:46 AM
My ExH has got stabbed in the thigh by a classmate with a pencil when he was a child.  He's still got a large grey mark on his thigh too.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: geordicat on June 17, 2010, 08:22:23 AM
geordicat jr has this one to add. When you are out playing with power tools, drilling wood and sawing and hammering trying to make a shelf from some scrap wood, do not ever grab the drill bit right after you've drilled a hole.  It tends to be rather warm.

Also, if you drop mom's GOOD drill bit (the reversable one with the Phillips/flat head screwdriver heads)  through the cracks of the back deck, it's best to not tell her "But look, you have these others!" 
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Cz. Burrito on June 17, 2010, 10:53:39 AM
On a related note: if pencil graphite gets under your skin, it won't come out. I accidentally stabbed myself with a really, really, REALLY sharp pencil one day in 7-8th grade. I still have the black mark on my hand.

Me too!  Except it was in my arm right near crease in the elbow.  7th grade.  Mechanical pencil.  I still have a grey dot there.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: pierrotlunaire0 on June 17, 2010, 12:57:25 PM
My ExH has got stabbed in the thigh by a classmate with a pencil when he was a child.  He's still got a large grey mark on his thigh too.

He's not from Michigan, is he?  Because I did that to this guy who was teasing me in 7th grade.  No one ever teased me again.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Waltraud on June 17, 2010, 01:05:19 PM
On a related note: if pencil graphite gets under your skin, it won't come out. I accidentally stabbed myself with a really, really, REALLY sharp pencil one day in 7-8th grade. I still have the black mark on my hand.

In first grade, I was trying to stab the point of a pencil into the eraser of another pencil.  I missed and stabbed myself in the crook between my thumb and forefinger.  Twenty-five years later, I can still make out the faint gray dot.

Now that's scary! I also have some graphite embedded under the soft skin between thumb and forefinger, right side since I'm lefthanded. And I always thought I was the only person in the world clumsy enough to do such a thing.  ;D We should form a secret society!

Waltraud
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: esteban on June 17, 2010, 02:28:43 PM
Have 2 for you.

1. Don't stand next to your nine-months pregnant wife who is very uncomfortable and ready to pop and look down and declare that you are the skinny one.  Really don't do this if you are over 300 lbs.

2. When complimenting your wife's memory don't tell her she has a brain like an elephant.  She will not take is as a compliment that she has a good memory (based on the old phrase that an elephant never forgets) and you will hear about how you compared her to an elephant often.

Thank god I have an understanding wife who realizes that I say stupid things without thinking, and loves me anyways.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Midnight Kitty on June 17, 2010, 03:09:16 PM
1. Don't stand next to your nine-months pregnant wife who is very uncomfortable and ready to pop and look down and declare that you are the skinny one.  Really don't do this if you are over 300 lbs.
Welcome to the board, deadbody.  I'm not surprised at your screen name after hearing the dangerous words that come out of your mouth in the vicinity of a pregnant woman.  Your wife is incredibly tolerant.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Outdoor Girl on June 17, 2010, 03:10:55 PM
1. Don't stand next to your nine-months pregnant wife who is very uncomfortable and ready to pop and look down and declare that you are the skinny one.  Really don't do this if you are over 300 lbs.
Welcome to the board, deadbody.  I'm not surprised at your screen name after hearing the dangerous words that come out of your mouth in the vicinity of a pregnant woman.  Your wife is incredibly tolerant.
*snort*
I was thinking similar thoughts, MK but you said it much more eloquently than I could have.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: CG on June 17, 2010, 03:40:31 PM
My ExH has got stabbed in the thigh by a classmate with a pencil when he was a child.  He's still got a large grey mark on his thigh too.

He's not from Michigan, is he?  Because I did that to this guy who was teasing me in 7th grade.  No one ever teased me again.

I did that to someone in 8th grade, but I stabbed him in the arm.  Luckily the teacher knew what was going on and just moved me across the room.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Hushabye on June 17, 2010, 07:57:01 PM
1.  Don't mistake ground red pepper for chili powder in a recipe that calls for 1/4 teaspoon of red pepper and 1/3 cup of chili powder.

2.  Don't mistake your teaspoon for a 1/2 teaspoon when you can't find the tablespoon.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: M-theory on June 17, 2010, 08:46:21 PM
1.  Don't mistake ground red pepper for chili powder in a recipe that calls for 1/4 teaspoon of red pepper and 1/3 cup of chili powder.

2.  Don't mistake your teaspoon for a 1/2 teaspoon when you can't find the tablespoon.

I bet it's seasoned just right for me.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Hushabye on June 17, 2010, 09:08:17 PM
1.  Don't mistake ground red pepper for chili powder in a recipe that calls for 1/4 teaspoon of red pepper and 1/3 cup of chili powder.

2.  Don't mistake your teaspoon for a 1/2 teaspoon when you can't find the tablespoon.

I bet it's seasoned just right for me.

Judging from some other posts you've made about spicy food, I bet it was!  :D  We ended up throwing out a good deal of the pot -- as hot as it was the first night (my nose was running and my eyes started watering), it only got hotter the longer it sat.  You'd have thought I put habaneros in the darned stuff!

Tonight I just put double the amount of chili powder in the Cincinnati-style chili I'm making.  At least it won't end up "scorch your eyebrows" spicy...
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: MizB on June 17, 2010, 09:30:18 PM
To: ladiedeathe and the gerbils:

I was totally horrified until you got to the part about the babies escaping the vacuum bag, then I laughed like crazy.

Thanks for that, and I  hope the many-greats grandchildren of the escaped gerbils are still telling the story of the great vacuum escape.


The bolded has me laughing my butt off after that whole story. Is anyone else reminded of An American Tale?
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: M-theory on June 18, 2010, 12:31:40 AM
Do not watch Unsolved Mysteries after consuming a Jolt Cola (2200 mg of caffeine, apparently). That motorcycle gunning it down the street is probably not the aliens coming to get you.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: HeebyJeebyLeebee on June 18, 2010, 07:52:46 AM
My ExH has got stabbed in the thigh by a classmate with a pencil when he was a child.  He's still got a large grey mark on his thigh too.

He's not from Michigan, is he?  Because I did that to this guy who was teasing me in 7th grade.  No one ever teased me again.

Nope.  He's from Illinois.  And I doubt he was doing the teasing - he was always the smallest (short & thin) kid in his class all through school.  As a high school senior, he looked about 12.  He didn't get "manly" until his late 20's. 
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Kimblee on June 18, 2010, 09:33:44 AM
On a related note: if pencil graphite gets under your skin, it won't come out. I accidentally stabbed myself with a really, really, REALLY sharp pencil one day in 7-8th grade. I still have the black mark on my hand.

Third grade a boy stabbed me in the hand with his pencil because I beat him in the spelling bee.

I was told to stop being so uppidy by my teacher. I actually was more angry with her than the boy who stabbed me. (Still am, come to think of it.)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: RainhaDoTexugo on June 18, 2010, 11:02:43 AM
On a related note: if pencil graphite gets under your skin, it won't come out. I accidentally stabbed myself with a really, really, REALLY sharp pencil one day in 7-8th grade. I still have the black mark on my hand.

Third grade a boy stabbed me in the hand with his pencil because I beat him in the spelling bee.

I was told to stop being so uppidy by my teacher. I actually was more angry with her than the boy who stabbed me. (Still am, come to think of it.)

You should be more angry with her.  Kids are kids, they're still learning.  It doesn't make what he did right, but kids are expected to make those kinds of mistakes.  The teacher is an adult, in a profession that requires her to be an advocate for her students.  Reactions like that are an insult to the profession.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Reika on June 18, 2010, 01:27:50 PM
Ah yes pencil graphite. I found that out when I was horsing around with a friend after school, didn't know that one of my pencils were poking out of my backpack, so I fell over and got jabbed in the side. It's been over 20 years and it's still there.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: hobish on June 18, 2010, 01:39:14 PM
Do not watch Unsolved Mysteries after consuming a Jolt Cola (2200 mg of caffeine, apparently). That motorcycle gunning it down the street is probably not the aliens coming to get you.

That's what they want you to think.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Slartibartfast on June 18, 2010, 07:02:01 PM
Have 2 for you.

1. Don't stand next to your nine-months pregnant wife who is very uncomfortable and ready to pop and look down and declare that you are the skinny one.  Really don't do this if you are over 300 lbs.

2. When complimenting your wife's memory don't tell her she has a brain like an elephant.  She will not take is as a compliment that she has a good memory (based on the old phrase that an elephant never forgets) and you will hear about how you compared her to an elephant often.

Thank god I have an understanding wife who realizes that I say stupid things without thinking, and loves me anyways.

Also, if you talk your very pregnant wife into going swimming at the pool with you and she is excited to break in her brand-new black maternity bathing suit, don't shout "It's SHAMU!" right before she gets in the pool.  She will still harass you about it twenty-eight years later when your daughter (me) is pregnant and complaining about how none of the maternity bathing suits look right.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: esteban on June 18, 2010, 08:29:58 PM
Have 2 for you.

1. Don't stand next to your nine-months pregnant wife who is very uncomfortable and ready to pop and look down and declare that you are the skinny one.  Really don't do this if you are over 300 lbs.

2. When complimenting your wife's memory don't tell her she has a brain like an elephant.  She will not take is as a compliment that she has a good memory (based on the old phrase that an elephant never forgets) and you will hear about how you compared her to an elephant often.

Thank god I have an understanding wife who realizes that I say stupid things without thinking, and loves me anyways.

Also, if you talk your very pregnant wife into going swimming at the pool with you and she is excited to break in her brand-new black maternity bathing suit, don't shout "It's SHAMU!" right before she gets in the pool.  She will still harass you about it twenty-eight years later when your daughter (me) is pregnant and complaining about how none of the maternity bathing suits look right.

Am I a bad person for laughing at this?
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: White Dragon on June 18, 2010, 10:40:03 PM
If you have a job that requires that you make critical financial notations on each page of a document...

...and someone puts that document on top of a pile of other, finished paperwork...

...don't throw the whole pile into the recycling bin.

And, if you should be so foolish to do so, try not to do it with *three different* marked documents.

And then never, ever ask the cleaning person to please dump the recycling bin.

Because otherwise you will find yourself in the back end of a dark and gloomy warehouse...

...staring at a dozen or more 6'x6'x'6 metal bins full of paper and wondering which one has your missing documents.

For the record, the answer will be:

- that it is the 5th bin  you dug through
- it will take  you 45 minutes
- you will get very dirty
- your coworkers will mock you, even though they are happy to get their documents back and
- your back will ache the next day and you'll wonder why...
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: bluhairfreak on June 19, 2010, 04:08:40 PM
Don't take measurements for anything that will cost you money while sleep-deprived.  Today Mom and I went to Home Depot to get the room darkening shades I need, I had taken the measurements yesterday while running on about 3-4 hours of sleep.  I got them home and they're an inch too short.  As it was my mistake I can't return or exchange them and so the choices are spend money getting new ones cut, or figure out a way to make these ones work.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: MrsJWine on June 19, 2010, 04:11:01 PM
Don't take measurements for anything that will cost you money while sleep-deprived.  Today Mom and I went to Home Depot to get the room darkening shades I need, I had taken the measurements yesterday while running on about 3-4 hours of sleep.  I got them home and they're an inch too short.  As it was my mistake I can't return or exchange them and so the choices are spend money getting new ones cut, or figure out a way to make these ones work.

Are they too short lengthwise?  Can you take down the hem at the bottom or attach a decorative strip of fabric?
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Suze on June 19, 2010, 04:14:22 PM
duct tape -- you can fix anything with duct tape.

several layers taped to the bottom of the shade ...

ok not so pretty -- but it would work

and it comes in colors too...
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: RainhaDoTexugo on June 19, 2010, 04:19:43 PM
Don't take measurements for anything that will cost you money while sleep-deprived.  Today Mom and I went to Home Depot to get the room darkening shades I need, I had taken the measurements yesterday while running on about 3-4 hours of sleep.  I got them home and they're an inch too short.  As it was my mistake I can't return or exchange them and so the choices are spend money getting new ones cut, or figure out a way to make these ones work.

You could probably combine MrsJWine's idea and Suze's idea - add some dark duct tape to the bottom, to block the light, and cover it with a strip of pretty coordinating fabric, so it looks nice.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Sirius on June 19, 2010, 04:25:46 PM
I did something similar when I sewed a set of curtains for my living room and they were too short:  I sewed a strip of coordinating fabric onto the bottom.  Another thing I could have done was cut the curtains in two, and sewed a strip of coordinating fabric in the middle.  Or even used some of the leftover fabric to make a patchwork and then sewed it into the middle of the curtails.  Why didn't I think of all of these creative ideas back then?
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Sirius on June 19, 2010, 04:30:27 PM
This morning I was telling Mr. Sirius that I needed to get myself a surgical equipment book because I'm typing op reports again after years of not doing so.  I then happened to glance over at the book shelf that holds the books I use for my job...I've already got one.  And I never even noticed.  Mr. Sirius just patted my hand and said, "You've got today off; get some rest."
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: bluhairfreak on June 19, 2010, 04:39:05 PM
The shades are too short width-wise so I can't fit actually install them into the brackets.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: kitty_ev on June 19, 2010, 04:45:17 PM
I just spent the last several days in a cottage in the country with 9 other roleplayers having a gaming holiday. We learnt several things:

1) Do not let the guy with the epic chilli tolerance cook the curries. You will end up with one mild, one scorching and one with the heat of a solar flare.

2) Do not have a contest with your mate over who can eat the most birds-eye chillies out of those left over from cooking the super-hot curry. There is not enough liquid in the world to douse those flames and you will be in pain for AGES. (I'm half Indian- I really should know better than to do this!)

3) Barbecue grills are not LARPsafe weapons. If you are hit with one, it will leave a bruise.

4) There is such a thing as buying too many sausages. With the best will in the world, 8 people can't get through 60 in three days and still stand.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Suze on June 19, 2010, 06:27:22 PM
The shades are too short width-wise so I can't fit actually install them into the brackets.

opps that is harder to fix....

my solution

heavy blanket on window  (I have a unicorn cotton throw, the heavy woven kind, on one window in my bedroom -- works great)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: kitty_ev on June 19, 2010, 06:31:57 PM
The shades are too short width-wise so I can't fit actually install them into the brackets.

I have no idea if this would work or not, but what about cutting the shades down their vertical centre and sewing a strip of complimentary fabric into the centre?
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: VorFemme on June 19, 2010, 06:32:09 PM
It might be possible to get different brackets for the shade, then move them a half inch or so in from the edges of the window on either side.  Then get heavy curtains and a valance & hang them to either side - to block light that might leak around the "too narrow" blinds/shades.........

Been there, done that - I was lucky that the store was a clearance place with really low prices - I checked other windows in that house to see if the blinds/roller shades would fit in another room, then bought new (cheap, cheap) roller shades that were a bit wider for the mis-measured windows.

Sadly, I hadn't finished getting something for all the bedroom windows when that place went out of business (lost their lease or some such thing).  It took longer to do the other bedrooms since I had to come up with more money (and triple check the numbers at the higher price level).
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: VorFemme on June 19, 2010, 06:36:06 PM
Roller shades cannot be cut down the middle to add a piece - they are fastened to a cylinder with a spring-loaded mechanism inside that keeps them at the desired height when pulled up, down, or left partially pulled down.  It is possible (sometimes) to find a sticky version and cover them in fabric for a "fancier" window treatment.  Or to buy pleated paper shades with a sticky patch along the top pleat to use as a "temporary" shade in a new house or apartment while making or looking for "just the right window treatment".

In the case of a garage window, I have seen the "temporary" pleated shades left up until the adhesive fails, the paper changes color & gets brittle, and something has to be done to block the window again!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: kitty_ev on June 19, 2010, 06:37:46 PM
Ah right. I see the problem now. Unfortunately I also can't help you find a solution. Sorry.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: bluhairfreak on June 19, 2010, 07:12:37 PM
Thanks for trying though.  One idea I had was to get two pieces of wood 1/2 in thick, mount those into the sill(doing inside mounts) and then mounting the brackets to those.  Better then spending another 90$ on shades.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: RainhaDoTexugo on June 19, 2010, 09:56:35 PM
Thanks for trying though.  One idea I had was to get two pieces of wood 1/2 in thick, mount those into the sill(doing inside mounts) and then mounting the brackets to those.  Better then spending another 90$ on shades.

I'd probably do something like that, and add curtains on the sides to cover the gap.  We have blinds in our dining room that don't quite fit, but I don't remember what DF did to get them to stay on, and he's not home to ask.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: bluhairfreak on June 19, 2010, 10:52:42 PM
Or alternately have them cut down further and put them into the front bedrooms(which I use as an art room and a reading room) since I need some window treatments for them and getting blinds for them would probably be the same price or more.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: White Dragon on June 20, 2010, 05:52:49 PM
When holding onto the slow cooker, make sure your hand is on the handle.

That slowly emerging sensation of acute pain is your fingertip resting on the hot base.

Running your finger under cold water helps, and now your 15 year old dd has heard you use language she didn't think you knew...
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: kitty_ev on June 20, 2010, 06:42:10 PM
Ouch White Dragon- that sounds super painful!

My dad did something similar a while ago. My parents have a metal steamer- the sort that sits on the hob and has 2 metal layers above it where veggies can be put. Dad doesn't cook very often. In a rather epic lapse of judgement he picked up the steamer filled with cooked veggies with his bare hands. I'd not heard language like that before.

My dad also learned the hard way that it's a really really bad idea to throw the gauntlet down at my brother. They were having one of their usual big lion-little lion interactions which wound up with my brother holding the open squeezy ketchup bottle over my dad's head. "You don't have the guts," were my dad's famous last words....

Apparently ketchup is rather good for the hair. At least, he had shiny hair for the next day or so.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: hobish on June 20, 2010, 08:54:36 PM
Thanks for trying though.  One idea I had was to get two pieces of wood 1/2 in thick, mount those into the sill(doing inside mounts) and then mounting the brackets to those.  Better then spending another 90$ on shades.

That's exactly what i was going to suggest. It's kind of a rig-it fix, and not overly pretty; but it does work.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Pinky830 on June 21, 2010, 03:37:38 PM
"You don't have the guts," were my dad's famous last words....



On a related note, don't say "You don't have the guts" to someone who just might.  :)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: MrsJWine on June 21, 2010, 04:09:19 PM
"You don't have the guts," were my dad's famous last words....



On a related note, don't say "You don't have the guts" to someone who just might.  :)

My then-fiance, now husband, did this to me.  Once.  It was right before he had to leave for work, and he only had one undershirt with him (hadn't put his work shirt on yet).  He was tickling me.  I told him to stop, or I'd dump my ice water down his front.  He cackled and kept tickling me.

He had to go to work with a very wet undershirt.

Also, he does a fair impression of a terrified four-year-old girl.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Lysistrata on June 22, 2010, 03:14:35 AM
"You don't have the guts," were my dad's famous last words....



On a related note, don't say "You don't have the guts" to someone who just might.  :)

My then-fiance, now husband, did this to me.  Once.  It was right before he had to leave for work, and he only had one undershirt with him (hadn't put his work shirt on yet).  He was tickling me.  I told him to stop, or I'd dump my ice water down his front.  He cackled and kept tickling me.

He had to go to work with a very wet undershirt.

Also, he does a fair impression of a terrified four-year-old girl.

See, I think your DH got off light  ;D

When my DH and I were dating, not even engaged yet, we were having a kind of mock-argument, started out joking but once or twice had veered closer to actual fighting...but still, not true "riled up" kind of thing. Somewhere in the conversation, he ended up daring me to punch him in the "scrabble tiles" because he honestly didn't think I would (note that we were fully clothed, and I think he was wearing jeans so that should have lessened some of the impact).

I probably wouldn't have either, if he hadn't stood right in front of where I was sitting on the couch and said "Do it! Do it! I DARE you to!"

Well, ok.

The plus side is, I really pulled that punch so that it would be a sort of "tap" instead (a fact he vehemently denies to this day). Also, no more dares!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: MizB on June 22, 2010, 10:05:13 AM
On a similar note. . .

When someone tells you not to pick them up/ stop tickling do it!

I have a tendency to loose bladder control when laughing too hard. I haven't done it in years but within a year/two year span I had two guys not listen when I said don't do that.

Ended up loosing it on them both.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: RainhaDoTexugo on June 22, 2010, 11:02:32 AM
Ha!  I had a "you wouldn't dare!" type situation in high school.  A few of us were out at our friend's family's cabin, next to a small lake.  There was a pier that went out a little ways, but not too deep, and someone mentioned jumping off it.  One of the guys somehow decided that I didn't have the nerve to jump off the pier, and I got the usual "You wouldn't dare!  I'll do it if you do it!" thing from one of the guys.  I guess he was pretty confident that I wouldn't do it, because he still refused to jump off the pier after me ::)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: kitty-cat on June 22, 2010, 11:46:31 AM
I have a new food related one- watch the amount of popcorn salt that you put on your popcorn. I'm eating popcorn flavored salt, not salt flavored popcorn....

Eh, I grabbed extra water to counter the salt...
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: LadyClaire on June 22, 2010, 01:22:51 PM
I have a new food related one- watch the amount of popcorn salt that you put on your popcorn. I'm eating popcorn flavored salt, not salt flavored popcorn....

Eh, I grabbed extra water to counter the salt...

Isn't that the usual method for eating popcorn? or at least, it's mine...popcorn is usually just a vessel for conveying the butter and salt into my mouth.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: kitty-cat on June 22, 2010, 01:28:54 PM
I have a new food related one- watch the amount of popcorn salt that you put on your popcorn. I'm eating popcorn flavored salt, not salt flavored popcorn....

Eh, I grabbed extra water to counter the salt...

Isn't that the usual method for eating popcorn? or at least, it's mine...popcorn is usually just a vessel for conveying the butter and salt into my mouth.

Yes, and normally I'm fine with extra salt. But popcorn salt is finer and therefore more salty if that makes sense.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: kherbert05 on June 22, 2010, 02:44:29 PM
When
1. Your daughter is visiting from another country
2. Is dropped off on her arrival by your son in the middle of the night.
3. and you haven't seen her yet

Please wait and talk to her or at least read the label of the "pickles" she put in the frig when she arrived. Mom didn't know Nanna knew those words. The pickles were jalapeno Peppers Mom brought for her a different brother. They aren't or at least weren't something you found in Island grocery stories.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: KitFox on June 22, 2010, 02:59:35 PM
One from my combat-reenacting days:

If you and your fellow combatants have choreographed a performance involving a leap off the stage, make sure the stage on which you practiced is not five feet closer to the ground than the stage on which you will be performing.

If you learn that your fight will be taking place on a 10-foot-tall stage instead of a 5-foot-tall one, consider using older choreography, exchanging the jump for a run down the stairs, or otherwise improvising. Do NOT decide that you can "handle it" and jump off the stage anyway. You WILL break a lot of little bones in your feet.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: RainhaDoTexugo on June 22, 2010, 07:35:24 PM
So, lets say you're making a tasty salad dressing, and it calls for fresh jalapeno.  And when you're planning your dressing, you're pretty sure that there's a jalapeno in the garden that's big enough now.  So you go down to the garden, pick your very first jalapeno, and then start to wonder if it'll be wimpy like the ones you grew last year, especially since it's still small.  When you've gotten to this point, don't attempt to test the spiciness of said jalapeno by licking the cut end.

The good news is, your jalapenos have a lot more kick this year :)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: rashea on June 22, 2010, 09:09:52 PM
Bouncy castles are for children, not adults.

I dislocated my kneecap :(

I broke my heel. Try explaining to the ER that you broke your heel jumping on air.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: White Dragon on June 22, 2010, 11:00:49 PM
Quote
in the "scrabble tiles"

Okay, this is my new favorite ehell euphimism for male personal bits.

 :D
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: White Dragon on June 22, 2010, 11:08:02 PM
It's summer.
It's hot.
Blankets you needed when you went to bed are piled around the foot of the bed in the morning.

When stumbling around half awake you should:

Step *over* the pile of blankets. Don't step "most of the way" over and plant your foot firmly on a loose end sticking out of the pile.

And if you should accidently step on part of the pile with one foot, don't continue to walk over the pile.

If you should foolishly keep moving, in your not.running.on.all.processors state, you might not *quite* lift your other foot over the pile.

Because what will happen is that you will catch your toe - and only your big toe - in a stray loop of blanket. And since this blanket is pinned to the ground by virtue of you stepping on it, it will trip you.

Quickly.
And thoroughly.

And your dh will wonder why you are face down in the carpet, muttering strange things under your breath.
And then he will laugh. A lot.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Reika on June 22, 2010, 11:27:39 PM
Related to the "You don't have the guts"...

When I was very young my maternal grandmother would like to freak me out by sliding her lower dentures out of her mouth. One day she made the mistake of doing that when I was sitting on her lap. So I grabbed them and wondered what I was going to do with grandma's teeth. Grandma freaked and mom thought it was the funniest thing ever since mom had been warning her that it was a bad idea and I'd find a way to get back at her.

She never did do that again.  >:D
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: MrsJWine on June 23, 2010, 12:26:37 AM
I finally have the guts to post this.  It's hilarious now, but at the time I wanted to die of shame.  My excuse is that she was not yet a champion sleeper, and I was very tired.  And stupid.

The baby, much like her sister at this age, does not like to be cuddled.  She likes to be slung over your shoulder.  Like a sack of potatoes or something.  When she was a few weeks old, I sat down in the rocking chair to feed her.  She was still slung over my shoulder.  I had to arrange a blanket on the nursing pillow, so I pushed her up on my shoulder to make some space.  I couldn't figure out why I couldn't move her up higher, so I kept jostling her up, and she kept stopping short.

Then she started to cry.  I looked up and realized I'd been jamming her forehead into the wooden back of the rocking chair over and over and over again.  She had that heartbreaking cry face on.

Uh, yeah, don't do that.  MORON.

(don't worry; no brain damage!)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Miss Vertigo on June 23, 2010, 05:50:30 AM
Oh, bless you, MrsJ. I can't figure out which story I like the best - that one, or the one where you were hoovering a spider off the other one's head.  At the moment it's too close to call ;D

Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: M-theory on June 24, 2010, 06:18:53 AM
If you really must have an iced mocha capp, and the only thing you can get your mitts on right then is a protein shake version, skip it. Because you're not going to feel so hot after chugging the entire 1L.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: PeasNCues on June 24, 2010, 08:17:01 AM
Sharpies are not white board markers.

They're just not.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: M-theory on June 24, 2010, 08:49:13 AM
Sharpies are not white board markers.

They're just not.

I want you to know that I'm laughing with you, not at you, because that would be a really easy mistake to make.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: RainhaDoTexugo on June 24, 2010, 10:22:44 AM
Peas, hairspray will clean that right up :)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: PeasNCues on June 24, 2010, 10:35:49 AM
Peas, hairspray will clean that right up :)

LOL! Thanks. Just one of those things where you go  :o :-X :-[ :-\ and then *shrug*.

I figured it could be cleaned off somehow. I told the maintinence people about it. In the meantime, the dates and times for several meetings are up on the whiteboard in my conference room. Good thing they're not super-secret meetings.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Pinky830 on June 24, 2010, 10:53:51 AM
Sharpies are not white board markers.

They're just not.

I want you to know that I'm laughing with you, not at you, because that would be a really easy mistake to make.

White boards are very common in animal hospitals. And Sharpies are too because they are so good for writing on glass.

I've seen that mistake many times.  :)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: MizB on June 24, 2010, 02:02:11 PM
Sharpies are not white board markers.

They're just not.

On a similar note. . .[bg] I work in a very small office, very small[/bg]

One day the editor, myself and the general manager (so our whole staff minus two) are sitting in the floor making notes/ designing something. We had a white board down and the general manager was feeling goofy and wrote the s word for poo on the white board, with the inkpen in her hand.

yeah. . .that wasn't so smart.

We got it off with windex and board cleaner.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Seven Ate Nine on June 24, 2010, 02:26:05 PM
Peas, hairspray will clean that right up :)

LOL! Thanks. Just one of those things where you go  :o :-X :-[ :-\ and then *shrug*.

I figured it could be cleaned off somehow. I told the maintinence people about it. In the meantime, the dates and times for several meetings are up on the whiteboard in my conference room. Good thing they're not super-secret meetings.

I once saw sharpie cleaned off a dry erase surface by tracing over the words with a dry erase marker, then washing off with windex or board cleaner.  It surprised me how easy it seemed.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: RingTailedLemur on June 24, 2010, 02:57:05 PM
Peas, hairspray will clean that right up :)

LOL! Thanks. Just one of those things where you go  :o :-X :-[ :-\ and then *shrug*.

I figured it could be cleaned off somehow. I told the maintinence people about it. In the meantime, the dates and times for several meetings are up on the whiteboard in my conference room. Good thing they're not super-secret meetings.

I once saw sharpie cleaned off a dry erase surface by tracing over the words with a dry erase marker, then washing off with windex or board cleaner.  It surprised me how easy it seemed.

Yes, my colleague taugt me that one and it came in handy recently.

Those alcohol hand-rubs work too, apparently.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: lilfox on June 24, 2010, 05:03:19 PM
Do not take a sip of Snapple and then decide that you should shake it up, because you will find out very quickly that you have forgotten to replace the cap.

I did that while walking down a street in NYC with my boss on a lunch break.  Fortunately I missed her, but I had to go buy a new shirt before I went back to the meeting.  I think she assumed I'd been bumped by a passerby when I suddenly jerked my arm and splashed flavored tea all over myself.  :-[
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Midnight Kitty on June 24, 2010, 05:35:44 PM
And then he will laugh. A lot.

So did I ;D

I think I've done that before, too.  I crochet afgans (now known as "freedom blankets" ;-)  Lots of little pukas* to trap tootsies. >:D

*Puka = hole in Hawaiian
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Midnight Kitty on June 24, 2010, 05:40:11 PM
I think she assumed I'd been bumped by a passerby when I suddenly jerked my arm and splashed flavored tea all over myself.  :-[
I have done something like this before, so please believe me when I say I am laughing with you, not at you, but I'm still ROTFLMAO (http://bestsmileys.com/lol/5.gif)

I'm so uncoordinated at times, I swear someone else's brain is sending signals to my limbs.  Sometimes my husband looks at me and says, "What were you trying to do?"
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Kimblee on June 24, 2010, 08:30:00 PM
And then he will laugh. A lot.

So did I ;D

I think I've done that before, too.  I crochet afgans (now known as "freedom blankets" ;-)  Lots of little pukas* to trap tootsies. >:D

*Puka = hole in Hawaiian

Freedom BLANKIES.

Its a matter of national pride, ya know.

lol
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: kitty-cat on June 24, 2010, 09:40:49 PM
When playing around with nail clippers because you are totally bored out of your mind, keep in mind that the bladey parts are sharpish.

And when they come in contact with your finger and pressure is applied, you tend to wind up with a band-aid on your finger. And a lot of pain...

Ask me how I know  ::)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Minmom3 on June 24, 2010, 11:14:33 PM
When playing around with nail clippers because you are totally bored out of your mind, keep in mind that the bladey parts are sharpish.

And when they come in contact with your finger and pressure is applied, you tend to wind up with a band-aid on your finger. And a lot of pain...

Ask me how I know  ::)

Oh, I'd guess you found that out the same way I found out a branch lopper must be held in a certain way to NOT slice into my knuckle......  Sigh. Brand new and shiny sharp.  Took a minute to hurt.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: M-theory on June 25, 2010, 12:57:00 AM
If you're famous for getting lost easily, don't go wandering off looking for a place you've never been without at least writing the address down. I'm looking at Google Maps now, and realizing I fruitlessly wandered about 4 miles looking for 760 Spadina Avenue (which I repeatedly got lost trying to find) at the intersection of Spadina and Bloor, when what I needed was 360 Spadina Avenue near Dundas. ::) On the plus side, I got a ton of exercise and a free bottle of hot sauce.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: kitty_ev on June 27, 2010, 01:41:07 PM
When cleaning the bathroom (a good idea- it REALLY needed it) it is advisable to wear gloves. The exceedingly powerful bathroom cleaner that you are using for the first time, and which has in its instructions to rinse off as soon as it's applied, will not do good things to your hands. You will end up missing all the oils from your hands as well as a fair bit of skin. This is not a very comfortable feeling.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: LadyClaire on June 27, 2010, 03:21:34 PM
When cleaning the bathroom (a good idea- it REALLY needed it) it is advisable to wear gloves. The exceedingly powerful bathroom cleaner that you are using for the first time, and which has in its instructions to rinse off as soon as it's applied, will not do good things to your hands. You will end up missing all the oils from your hands as well as a fair bit of skin. This is not a very comfortable feeling.

Related to that..

when the jug of paint stripper you purchased has a big warning on it to not get it on your skin, they mean it. Because paint is not the only thing it will strip off.

It's also not fun to run screaming from the garage to the house because HOLY CRUD MY HANDS ARE ON FIRE!!! after getting a liberal dose of paint stripper on your fingers.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: White Dragon on June 28, 2010, 08:37:09 PM
You are walking up a set of stairs.

You trip and fall upstairs.

You put your hands out to stop yourself from doing a faceplant on the concrete landing.
This is a good idea, except...

...it does not prevent your head from continuing to fly forward, causing you to smack your head into the concrete wall.

Yeah. Don't do that.
Looks dumb and hurts like the dickens!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: bluhairfreak on June 28, 2010, 09:03:36 PM
If you have a new kitten who have given you a bunch of teeny tiny scratches on your hands, don't use any instant hand sanitizer for a while.  That stuff will BURN!!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: catgal on July 02, 2010, 11:46:18 PM
White Dragon - did you see me do this??  :-[  Seriously, I did exactly this on Wednesday, except my back pack also whacked me in the back of the head when the front of my head hit the wall.  Bizarre! When people have found out how my hand got to be injured, they laugh - come on people sympathy please.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Amava on July 05, 2010, 05:04:37 PM
If you have a dog who likes to eat crafts supplies, it is very wise to put all your stuff safely into drawers instead of lying around on your desk. Now, if you go upstairs to take a nap and lock the dog in your study, don't leave one of those drawers wide open.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: hot_shaker on July 12, 2010, 09:21:35 AM
Don't leave the bathroom sink running while you're in the shower, especially if it's a little clogged and drains slowly.  Because when you turn the shower off, you will be startled by the sound of a small waterfall.  And when you pull back the curtain you will be shocked by your the new lake in your bathroom.

On the plus side, the annoying cat will refuse to come into the bathroom and will shake his now wet paw indignantly.  :)

(In the morning, I turn both the sink and the shower on for a few seconds so the water will get warm.  Been doing this for, oh, years now without a problem.  This morning I guess I just forgot about the sink and hopped right in the shower.)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Suze on July 12, 2010, 06:11:39 PM
here's a new one for me

I fed the cat her gushy food tonight - now she is a realllll special snowflake of a cat - she must have some hot water in it to make "gravy"

(Yeah I know - spoiled)

I made a salad for myself tonight and I ALMOST picked up that spoon to pick the peas out of the can onto my salad.....

that was close
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: geordicat on July 12, 2010, 06:37:00 PM
here's a new one for me

I fed the cat her gushy food tonight - now she is a realllll special snowflake of a cat - she must have some hot water in it to make "gravy"

(Yeah I know - spoiled)

I made a salad for myself tonight and I ALMOST picked up that spoon to pick the peas out of the can onto my salad.....

that was close

eww.  :P 
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Suze on July 12, 2010, 06:40:12 PM
yeah - that was my thought just after I picked up that spoon and about dug in the can of peas......

would have had to throw the whole salad out (ok - I couldn't have eaten it - could you?)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: mechtilde on July 12, 2010, 06:43:35 PM
would have had to throw the whole salad out (ok - I couldn't have eaten it - could you?)

Ick! No!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: bopper on July 13, 2010, 12:48:00 PM
If you have a dog who likes to eat crafts supplies, it is very wise to put all your stuff safely into drawers instead of lying around on your desk. Now, if you go upstairs to take a nap and lock the dog in your study, don't leave one of those drawers wide open.

Did it poop sparkles!?
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: hobish on July 13, 2010, 01:27:46 PM
If you're famous for getting lost easily, don't go wandering off looking for a place you've never been without at least writing the address down. I'm looking at Google Maps now, and realizing I fruitlessly wandered about 4 miles looking for 760 Spadina Avenue (which I repeatedly got lost trying to find) at the intersection of Spadina and Bloor, when what I needed was 360 Spadina Avenue near Dundas. ::) On the plus side, I got a ton of exercise and a free bottle of hot sauce.


Ok, i am dying from curiosity here ... where does the free bottle of hot sauce come in?

Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: kitty_ev on July 13, 2010, 05:38:09 PM
If you have a dog who likes to eat crafts supplies, it is very wise to put all your stuff safely into drawers instead of lying around on your desk. Now, if you go upstairs to take a nap and lock the dog in your study, don't leave one of those drawers wide open.

Did it poop sparkles!?

This reminded me of a news article I saw a while back. WARNING: POOP INVOLVED

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/northern_ireland/7187122.stm (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/northern_ireland/7187122.stm)

Edited to use a different news article.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Suze on July 13, 2010, 05:41:13 PM
and I thought that Grandma's dog eating my color crayons was the hight of it all
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: RegionMom on July 15, 2010, 05:54:08 AM
Hrumph.  For the zoo story, they only needed to put glitter in one rhino's feed.   One would sparkle, one would not.  easy!  Less mixing, less cost!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Dazi on July 15, 2010, 06:15:35 AM
Hrumph.  For the zoo story, they only needed to put glitter in one rhino's feed.   One would sparkle, one would not.  easy!  Less mixing, less cost!
but not as pretty  :P
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: hermanne on July 15, 2010, 06:50:41 AM
Hrumph.  For the zoo story, they only needed to put glitter in one rhino's feed.   One would sparkle, one would not.  easy!  Less mixing, less cost!
but not as pretty  :P

But didn't they have more than just the two females in the same enclosure?
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: RegionMom on July 17, 2010, 07:02:41 PM
Was it Ashanti or was it Zanta? The easiest way is to test hormone levels in the animals' droppings over a three month period.

But with two sets of droppings, it was hard to tell one rhino's doings from the other.


I guess they had to have males there, also, tho!  So, girls glitter!!  And the boys are just...brown.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: HeebyJeebyLeebee on July 20, 2010, 10:07:40 AM
When joining the festivities at your niece's 6th birthday party at a play center with inflatable bouncy slides, basketball courts, and obstacle course - watch your elbows!!!  I have some wicked friction burns on my elbows.  I'm really surpised I don't have any on my knees.

Working at my desk has been less than fun these last couple of days.   ::)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: CG on July 20, 2010, 04:18:54 PM
When joining the festivities at your niece's 6th birthday party at a play center with inflatable bouncy slides, basketball courts, and obstacle course - watch your elbows!!!  I have some wicked friction burns on my elbows.  I'm really surpised I don't have any on my knees.

Working at my desk has been less than fun these last couple of days.   ::)

One of my boyfriends back in JH insisted for many years that we tried to kill him...because he decided to come with us to one of those kiddie play places when we took my three cousins so we would be one-on-one and stand a chance (older brother, old-BF, me).  He was following the oldest one, who was the slowest and most...agreeable.  :P
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: pharmagal on July 20, 2010, 07:52:08 PM
If you happen to be my DH and you are thinking of taking a short cut, re-consider that option.  If you don' re-consider and you do decide that jumping over a small fence is a good idea, then a better idea would be to go over one foot at a time.  Not both feet.  Because if you jump over with both feet and both feet hit the top of that small fence, slamming into the tarmac of the parking lot with both arms extended does indeed break both arms.  Which leads to surgery 3 times for one arm that still won't straighten to this day.  It's a good thing I love him, because it was a long time until he could do more than wipe his own behind
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: MinAvi on July 21, 2010, 05:31:08 AM
enjoli, my jaw literally just fell on the table! You're a very very good wife! It made me think of one my Dad did.

He had a knee replacement at 21 about 6 months before he and mum married, so he was in a hip to toe cast.

He was showering at Grandma's house (with plastic bag of course!) and realized after his shower that he could step down into the shower well, but couldn't take the step back up. He reached up and grabbed the shower rail to hoist himself over the step, The rail promptly broke and deposited him on his backside in the shower.

Mum and grandma heard the crash and came running. Grandma wouldn't let mum go in and help him because 'it wouldn't be proper since Dad was laying there in his altogether'. But Dad couldn't get up on his own, so Grandma went in and helped him. This resulted in Grandma not being able to look Dad in the eye until I was about 10 or so.

Not only was this in the mid 80's and not the 40's, Mum was already pregnant with me so a little like shutting the door after the horse has bolted...

Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: MizB on July 21, 2010, 02:06:05 PM
Not only was this in the mid 80's and not the 40's, Mum was already pregnant with me so a little like shutting the door after the horse has bolted...

Some parents have the "out of sight out of mind" approach to that kind of thing. She may have felt that by letting your Mom see your Dad in his "altogether" meant she gave them permission to be premarital.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Morrigan on July 21, 2010, 05:03:05 PM
My friends have an old farmhouse with a steep, narrow set of carpeted stairs up to the second floor...while following my friend down the stairs, I slipped, and slid down the stair on my bum, almost taking her out...her husband didn't even come & check on the 2 preggo women, while my fiancee, who'd been following me, just laughed.

2 days later, I found out that I pulled a muscle in my armpit trying to save myself...

:(
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: kitty-cat on July 21, 2010, 10:30:26 PM
When using a seamripper to take apart jeans to make a new bag, take care to keep the seamripper away from your thumb.

I currently have a Kleenex wrapped around my thumb held in place with a small hairband.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Amava on July 22, 2010, 02:33:05 AM
When using a seamripper to take apart jeans to make a new bag, take care to keep the seamripper away from your thumb.

I currently have a Kleenex wrapped around my thumb held in place with a small hairband.

Ooooh yes, always move sharp objects away from you, when you're cutting, ripping, etc something. I'm especially prone to forgetting that when I am carving pumpkins.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: kitty-cat on July 22, 2010, 08:05:32 AM
When using a seamripper to take apart jeans to make a new bag, take care to keep the seamripper away from your thumb.

I currently have a Kleenex wrapped around my thumb held in place with a small hairband.

Ooooh yes, always move sharp objects away from you, when you're cutting, ripping, etc something. I'm especially prone to forgetting that when I am carving pumpkins.

I know... But these are double stiched jeans-aka, really annoying to sacrifice.  Now that I think about it, I know it's how I got one cut on my left pointer, one on my left middle, and one on my right middle too.

But I really wanna make this bag darn it!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: jayhawk on July 22, 2010, 10:35:08 AM
When using a seamripper to take apart jeans to make a new bag, take care to keep the seamripper away from your thumb.

I currently have a Kleenex wrapped around my thumb held in place with a small hairband.

Ooooh yes, always move sharp objects away from you, when you're cutting, ripping, etc something. I'm especially prone to forgetting that when I am carving pumpkins.

I know... But these are double stiched jeans-aka, really annoying to sacrifice.  Now that I think about it, I know it's how I got one cut on my left pointer, one on my left middle, and one on my right middle too.

But I really wanna make this bag darn it!

Please post a pic of your completed bag in the Craft threads!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: kitty-cat on July 22, 2010, 10:50:16 AM
When using a seamripper to take apart jeans to make a new bag, take care to keep the seamripper away from your thumb.

I currently have a Kleenex wrapped around my thumb held in place with a small hairband.

Ooooh yes, always move sharp objects away from you, when you're cutting, ripping, etc something. I'm especially prone to forgetting that when I am carving pumpkins.

I know... But these are double stiched jeans-aka, really annoying to sacrifice.  Now that I think about it, I know it's how I got one cut on my left pointer, one on my left middle, and one on my right middle too.

But I really wanna make this bag darn it!

Please post a pic of your completed bag in the Craft threads!

I will, not a problem. The problem is seam ripping 7 pairs of jeans to get the fabric....
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Luci on July 22, 2010, 11:01:22 AM


I currently have a Kleenex wrapped around my thumb held in place with a small hairband.
    One of my favorite first aid tricks while sewing!

I will, not a problem. The problem is seam ripping 7 pairs of jeans to get the fabric....

7 pairs?! Why don't you just cut out the fabric and discard the seams, except of course where you need the seams for decorative affect, when they are left intact?  That's what I do. The fabric that has been in the seam never flattens nicely anyway. (I'm asking this for my own education as well as being a suggestion.)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: kitty-cat on July 22, 2010, 01:17:24 PM
It's to have bigger peices of fabric to work with; I want to make a messenger bag big enough to carry all of my books at once, plus outside pockets if my friend doesn't kill me first.

(and all of our scissors are not good-they would do more damage than help.)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: jstlstrnslb on July 22, 2010, 04:47:01 PM
One from a few years ago, when I was in my mid teens.
If you're enthusiastically swinging away at a thick tangle of brambles with a cane knife, take care to swing away from your body. I'd have done my shin a heck of a lot of damage had I not been wearing really thick combat trousers, and had the blade not been somewhat blunt.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: RainhaDoTexugo on July 22, 2010, 08:28:04 PM
On behalf of DF, when you're turning on a street that's under construction and are passing a very poorly marked fire hydrant, don't turn into the hydrant, thus doing unbelievable amounts of damage to the poor, pretty car doors.  Also, if you happen to be a street planner, don't put fire hydrants in the fricken street!!!

Thankfully, we listened to my mom (for once ;)), and have full coverage insurance, otherwise we'd be looking at replacing two doors out of pocket (and our pockets just aren't that deep).
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Information_queen on July 23, 2010, 05:15:52 PM
When using a seamripper to take apart jeans to make a new bag, take care to keep the seamripper away from your thumb.

I currently have a Kleenex wrapped around my thumb held in place with a small hairband.

Ooooh yes, always move sharp objects away from you, when you're cutting, ripping, etc something. I'm especially prone to forgetting that when I am carving pumpkins.

Yeah, that doesn't always work. I was cutting away from myself when I stabbed my palm, because I was bracing the stuff with my other hand....at the back of it.

It left an impressive scar though.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Samantha on July 24, 2010, 11:56:02 AM
When at a railroad crossing that has multiple sets of tracks, and the gates stay down after the freight train goes by... don't go around the gates in an attempt to get to your final destination a bit sooner. Because you'll end up at your "final" destination MUCH sooner than you expected when a second passenger train comes through on the other set of tracks. The driver and the passenger sitting behind the driver are dead, while the woman in the passenger seat may not make it, and the 18 month old daughter that was in a booster seat on the rear passenger side is in serious condition.

It's better to be late getting somewhere, than to never arrive at all.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: kitty_ev on July 24, 2010, 12:51:59 PM
When at a railroad crossing that has multiple sets of tracks, and the gates stay down after the freight train goes by... don't go around the gates in an attempt to get to your final destination a bit sooner. Because you'll end up at your "final" destination MUCH sooner than you expected when a second passenger train comes through on the other set of tracks. The driver and the passenger sitting behind the driver are dead, while the woman in the passenger seat may not make it, and the 18 month old daughter that was in a booster seat on the rear passenger side is in serious condition.

It's better to be late getting somewhere, than to never arrive at all.

That's terrible. What an awful, awful accident, particularly as it was entirely avoidable. I was always taught that one should NEVER cross a level crossing when the barriers are down, and if the car stalls in the middle of one when the barriers are descending one should vacate the car ASAP and call for help from a safe distance. Why would someone risk themselves, two adult passengers and a baby in that sort of way?
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Pinky830 on July 24, 2010, 04:05:20 PM
When using a seamripper to take apart jeans to make a new bag, take care to keep the seamripper away from your thumb.

I currently have a Kleenex wrapped around my thumb held in place with a small hairband.

Ooooh yes, always move sharp objects away from you, when you're cutting, ripping, etc something. I'm especially prone to forgetting that when I am carving pumpkins.

Yeah, that doesn't always work. I was cutting away from myself when I stabbed my palm, because I was bracing the stuff with my other hand....at the back of it.

It left an impressive scar though.

When we go on vacation, we have a big plastic travel box that DH closes with zip ties. When we got to the beach house this year, at about 4 PM, we brought the box inside and just set it down. The kids and I put on our swimsuits and went out to the beach.

So picture the scene an hour later when we come in. We are in wet bathing suits, needing for everyone to take baths so we can go eat dinner. I can't find a pair of scissors to cut open the zip ties (mistake #1), so I use a steak knife, and cut towards myself (mistake #2)...

...and plunge the knife an inch deep into my leg. Blood starts gushing out.

So I sit down with a towel and hold pressure on it as hard as I can, trying to stay calm for the kids, and quietly ask DH to run to the island village for some bandage supplies. I was really not liking the idea of going to the ER (45 minutes away) and sitting for who knows how long, in a wet bathing suit, instead of eating dinner with my family.

I bandaged that sucker up TIGHT (we ordered pizza so I could keep my leg elevated) and miraculously, by the next day it just needed to stay wrapped, and by the next it just needed a bandaid. It's totally fine now, but once the purple scar fades, I'm going to have an interesting white one.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: dawbs on July 24, 2010, 04:17:49 PM
Speaking of directions to cut...
When you drop an x-acto knife, it falls point down.

I don't care how instinctive it is, trying to catch it is a BAD idea.  (I was at work and, if I was smarter, I'd have gone to the hospital...but I was 18, caught it in the palm of my hand, and now have a nice scar.  Which could have been much worse).

Of course, it's not like I learned my lesson on that one, I almost did the same thing w/ boiling water a week ago, it was just bad reflexes that I didn't manage to 'catch' it.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: kitty_ev on July 24, 2010, 04:25:12 PM
A call I got from one of my friends a while back:

"Hi, Kitty, it's G."
"Hello G, how are you?"
"Well, not so good actually. I've cut my finger. Did it about half an hour ago."
"Oh dear, G. How did you do that?"
"Well, I was cutting wood for the fire but instead of using the axe I used a circular hand saw. It kind of slipped."
"Umm.... G... When you say you've cut your finger, how bad is it?"
"Well that's why I called really. It's quite deep and there's a lot of blood."
"How deep is quite deep?" *starting to get concerned*
"Well I can see bone and I think I see a tendon. What do I do?" *  :o *
"You know that hospital over the road? The big one? With an ER? Go there now."
"Can I have lunch first?"
"No!"

He had surgery a day or so later to reattach the tendon and the end of his finger. He's got most of the mobility back now and sensation is slowly returning. The moral of this story is if you can see bone in a wound, it's a good idea to visit the ER rather than wait half an hour and call your not-yet-qualified mate.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: White Dragon on July 25, 2010, 04:46:46 PM
White Dragon - did you see me do this??  :-[  Seriously, I did exactly this on Wednesday, except my back pack also whacked me in the back of the head when the front of my head hit the wall.  Bizarre! When people have found out how my hand got to be injured, they laugh - come on people sympathy please.

No, I didn't see you.
Maybe we were occupying the same klutzy body that day though!

I didn't get a lot of sympathy either!  :)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: kherbert05 on July 25, 2010, 05:20:15 PM
Be careful how you store paper cutters. I was still working for the museum. The educator quit and the Fine Arts museum was moving to the new building. THey brought over this huge paper/mat cutter. It took two 3' x 6' tables to hold it and we simply didn't have the room. So they put it up against the wall.

After they were settled into the new museum, I brought up bringing that thing over to them. I did not need a paper cutter that big and it was a hazard. Well one day a staff member from the fine arts museum needed it. She came over and used it and put it back while I was out.

When I walked back into the office, the paper-cutter fell on my foot. The blade cut the top of my foot. I called the director told him I needed someone to come help my assistant with a birthday party, because I was going to the ER. I also made it clear they were lucky it was me and not a kid, because the other staff member had not locked the door. That pain in the neck paper cutter was gone before I got back from the ER. I had to get a tenatus shot, antibiotics, and go in to my doctor for a couple of follow-up visits because it set off my skin condition. They had to keep an eye on it to determine if it was a reaction or infection.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Suze on July 25, 2010, 05:24:08 PM
that is one massive paper cutter.

I have walked by ours at work more than once (it sits on a cabnet by the water fountian) and found the blade in the air.

so I close it - and say something - but no one thinks it is a big deal

Yep - safety first
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: M-theory on July 25, 2010, 05:24:29 PM
If you're famous for getting lost easily, don't go wandering off looking for a place you've never been without at least writing the address down. I'm looking at Google Maps now, and realizing I fruitlessly wandered about 4 miles looking for 760 Spadina Avenue (which I repeatedly got lost trying to find) at the intersection of Spadina and Bloor, when what I needed was 360 Spadina Avenue near Dundas. ::) On the plus side, I got a ton of exercise and a free bottle of hot sauce.


Ok, i am dying from curiosity here ... where does the free bottle of hot sauce come in?



Sorry, I don't subscribe to threads, so I only see replies if I think to check.

There were cute girls in skimpy outfits giving out bottles of Frank's Red Hot Sauce (more like "Red Hot" Sauce) downtown, with $2 off coupons attached. I made an awesome batch of buffalo wings, then used the coupon on some "Xtra Hot" (read: tingly) and made more wings. ;D
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Diane AKA Traska on July 25, 2010, 06:39:43 PM
Took me 24 hours (with breaks for sleep, food, etc), but now I'm caught up with the thread.  Trying to decide if marathon reading through almost a thousand posts qualifies for this thread.

But I've got a better one.  If you have extension cords, don't think that a metal-legged dining chair (especially one missing one of its rubber "feet") can substitute for a desk chair.  If you fail to heed that, by all means do not be cavalier about where said legs are when you sit down, because that foot-less metal leg is *sharp*.  Failing that, if the chair leg actually severs an extension cord that is still plugged in, and you see it lying on the floor and your first instinct is to pick it up to move it out of the way so no one gets hurt?

Uh, yeah, don't do that.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Rosgrana on July 29, 2010, 01:25:51 PM
However much fun it is for both of you, do not allow your Big Idiot Dog to "kill" empty Coke bottles. Eventually, and probably while you are out, Big Idiot Dog will find a full one. B.I.D. will have a whale of a time - full Coke bottles are great! They make exciting noises, they fight back by squirting you in the face, they taste terrific! You will come home to a completely Coke-covered house, and a very excited Coke-covered Big Idiot Dog on a sugar high.

Further discoveries from the above:
Large quantities of Coke do Terrible Things to the output of Big Idiot Dog.
It is not possible to wash a cactus.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: alegria on July 29, 2010, 03:56:11 PM
I was good up until this line:

It is not possible to wash a cactus.

 ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Kimblee on July 29, 2010, 03:57:36 PM
I was good up until this line:

It is not possible to wash a cactus.

 ;D ;D ;D

Actually, i washed my dad's barrel cactus... i used the middling high pressure setting on our hose. (The dog had hiked his leg so many times on it, it STANK)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: MinAvi on July 29, 2010, 07:17:48 PM
That is Hysterical!!!!

And if it makes you feel better, It works with sunkist as well... my Big Dumb Dog did that! ;D

No washing cactuses (cacti??) as yet though!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: M-theory on July 30, 2010, 12:34:00 AM
Before spending 20 minutes trying to pry open a bottle of aranciata with assorted doorjambs, lighters, knives, and other dangerous implements, check to make sure there's no bottle opener on the back end of your can opener. Since that's a lot easier and all.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Dindrane on July 30, 2010, 07:56:05 AM
If you're going to slice an oblong roll open in a way that you know is risky and potentially stupid, at least be careful about it and watch where the bread knife is going.

I was holding an oblong roll upright so that I could slice it in half, with my hand under the knife (until I'd cut far enough that I could hold the roll steady from the top).  Either I really wasn't paying attention, or the roll was a lot less oblong than I thought, but slicing your index finger with a bread knife is really not a fun way to start the morning.  Especially when the cut won't stop bleeding, and you're running late for work.  Fun times.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: RainhaDoTexugo on July 30, 2010, 10:36:36 AM
Ouch Dindrane!  I did something similar with a loaf of bread shortly after we got out good knives, probably five or six years ago, and I still have a faint scar.  It balances the matching scar in the other index finger from the year before - the lesson on that one is "when the glass milk bottle you keep change in breaks jaggedly, don't leave it in the bedroom, and especially don't let it get covered over in papers and clothes, because your girlfriend will be the one to find it, in a very painful way, and she will not be pleased with you..."
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Dindrane on July 30, 2010, 11:33:21 AM
Ouch Dindrane!

No kidding!  Even with the Advil I took yesterday morning, my finger still hurt pretty much all day.  Once it stopped throbbing, it started like...aching.  It was really unpleasant.  At least now it's settled down to only hurting if I bump the actual cut.  It's one advantage of bandaids that I never really thought of -- because they're just the slightest bit uncomfortable, it makes me hyper-aware of my finger, and thus less likely to accidentally bump the side of my finger into things.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: catgal on July 31, 2010, 02:00:30 AM
Well, I feel at home with you all. We accident prone people need to stick together as no-one else will ever give us the sympathy that we deserve  :D

This week, I stretched a garment over the top of my thigh to keep it straight while I unpicked a seam.  Guess the unpicker was sharp, as it went through the seam, my jeans and into my leg - ouch! 
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: JonGirl on July 31, 2010, 02:23:22 AM


Never sit on a banana lounge with your hands at your side. It will collapse and squash your fingers.  :-X  :-[
And never slap your hand down on a soft drink can thats been cut in half.  :-X  :-[
Oh, and don't let anybody dare you to put your finger in a pencil sharpener.  :-X  :-[
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: kitty_ev on July 31, 2010, 10:26:19 AM
If the garden is overgrown and the grass is too long for the mower, grass shears are an appropriate solution. When using said grass shears it is advisable to wear gardening gloves to stop oneself rubbing off a square centimetre of skin from the proximal joint of the index finger of the dominant hand (NB it literally took off a flap of skin- way way deeper than a blister). It is painful, prickles uncomfortably and the cut will open up again every time the joint is flexed or extended. Not my finest moment.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Nora on July 31, 2010, 11:44:43 AM
When leaning down into the closet to grab a scoop of cat food to feed the whiney beast, don't lean on the louver door to said closet to prop yourself up... you will close your own head in the door, which will make your husband run in asking if you are ok, then nearly wet himself laughing after you explain the yelp of pain......  ::)

I have one of those. Reminds me of this:

http://littera-abactor.livejournal.com/7748.html?page=29

I have days like those. Often.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Reika on August 01, 2010, 07:09:10 PM

I have one of those. Reminds me of this:

http://littera-abactor.livejournal.com/7748.html?page=29

I have days like those. Often.

*wipes the tears from her eyes after laughing hysterically*

My dearly departed Boots was a little like that, for a cat she had an extremely eclectic idea of what's edible. I swear she was a goat in a previous life.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: LadyClaire on August 02, 2010, 07:33:03 AM
A call I got from one of my friends a while back:

"Hi, Kitty, it's G."
"Hello G, how are you?"
"Well, not so good actually. I've cut my finger. Did it about half an hour ago."
"Oh dear, G. How did you do that?"
"Well, I was cutting wood for the fire but instead of using the axe I used a circular hand saw. It kind of slipped."
"Umm.... G... When you say you've cut your finger, how bad is it?"
"Well that's why I called really. It's quite deep and there's a lot of blood."
"How deep is quite deep?" *starting to get concerned*
"Well I can see bone and I think I see a tendon. What do I do?" *  :o *
"You know that hospital over the road? The big one? With an ER? Go there now."
"Can I have lunch first?"
"No!"

He had surgery a day or so later to reattach the tendon and the end of his finger. He's got most of the mobility back now and sensation is slowly returning. The moral of this story is if you can see bone in a wound, it's a good idea to visit the ER rather than wait half an hour and call your not-yet-qualified mate.

I sliced the tip of my index finger down to the bone on the lid of a cat food can. It actually nearly sliced the entire pad of my finger off. My dad had the car, and when Mom called to tell him that I needed to go to the ER, he said "Nah, she'll be fine! I'm sure it's not that bad."

When the bleeding hadn't stopped by 9:00 that night (I'd cut it in the early afternoon), he finally came home and took me to the ER. The doctor proceeded to rip him a new one, saying "if you can look into a wound and see bone, you need to have it stitched as soon as possible!"
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Mrs.E on August 02, 2010, 12:15:10 PM


I have one of those. Reminds me of this:

http://littera-abactor.livejournal.com/7748.html?page=29

I have days like those. Often.

I can hear my dog saying " You don't feed me. Ever."

Yes we have specific voices for our dogs..... leave me alone.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Giggity on August 02, 2010, 01:09:25 PM
There were more people injured in the bouncy house than on the mechanical bull!

If I had a nickel for every time I said that after a party, I'd have, like, three nickels.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Lady Snowdon on August 02, 2010, 03:22:23 PM


I have one of those. Reminds me of this:

http://littera-abactor.livejournal.com/7748.html?page=29

I have days like those. Often.

I can hear my dog saying " You don't feed me. Ever."

Yes we have specific voices for our dogs..... leave me alone.

I couldn't stop laughing for about five minutes after reading that link; my dog actually came over to see what was wrong!

We have a specific voice for our dog too, Mrs. E.  And he would totally do this, if he hadn't already found out he doesn't like sweet potatoes and such.  He's more likely to make off with the paper plates, or something totally insane. 
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Midnight Kitty on August 02, 2010, 03:23:48 PM
If the garden is overgrown and the grass is too long for the mower, grass shears are an appropriate solution. When using said grass shears it is advisable to wear gardening gloves to stop oneself rubbing off a square centimetre of skin from the proximal joint of the index finger of the dominant hand (NB it literally took off a flap of skin- way way deeper than a blister). It is painful, prickles uncomfortably and the cut will open up again every time the joint is flexed or extended. Not my finest moment.

[BG]I live in a condo and don't have a "grassy backyard," but our horse has a pen and that's the "grassy yard" I must tend. [/BG]

I was edging, using clippers and gardening gloves because I've been there, done that with the blister from he!!.  However, one stretch was so overgrown, I just grabbed weeds and pulled handful after handful.  I was wondering why these weeds were particularly stickery when I discovered it wasn't the weeds that were stinging me, it was the "hot wire" that fell off the fence and was threaded through the weeds I was pulling by hand.  It was a shocking discovery >:D
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Midnight Kitty on August 02, 2010, 03:28:09 PM


I have one of those. Reminds me of this:

http://littera-abactor.livejournal.com/7748.html?page=29

I have days like those. Often.

I can hear my dog saying " You don't feed me. Ever."

Yes we have specific voices for our dogs..... leave me alone.

One of the boarders at the ranch where we keep our horse, Misty, said that her horse managed to say "I'm starving" with his mouth full of hay. >:D
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: JoW on August 02, 2010, 06:09:22 PM
I have one of those. Reminds me of this:

http://littera-abactor.livejournal.com/7748.html?page=29

I have days like those. Often.

And then there's this Iowa dog that eats raw corn.  She pulls back the husk, chews the kernels off the cob, leaving the cob and husk in her people's yard. 
http://www.kimt.com/mostpopular/story/Mason-City-Corn-Dog/eq4cOv9-K0ey4buQRlQ-_w.cspx
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Dazi on August 02, 2010, 06:20:22 PM
Don't, under any circumstances eat 2 plums and 1/2 a small seedless watermelon within a 24 hour period...just don't.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Pinky830 on August 02, 2010, 08:37:41 PM


I have one of those. Reminds me of this:

http://littera-abactor.livejournal.com/7748.html?page=29

I have days like those. Often.

I can hear my dog saying " You don't feed me. Ever."

Yes we have specific voices for our dogs..... leave me alone.

My dog, like most Labs, runs up to each person as they get home saying "ImstarvingI'mstarvingImstarving." We tell each other, "She's already been fed, so don't let her tell you she hasn't."
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Kasia_Kiwi on August 03, 2010, 06:06:48 PM
Woohoo! Made it to the end. I can post now.  :)

#1 - When you want a nice glass of orange juice, don't take the cap off the 2 litre carton, pour some, decide it's not mixed enough and then proceed to shake (in an up and down motion using both hands)... parents will not let me forget that.

#2 - If you happen to be granted your parent's car with which you may drive to school please remember that you did so. Do not get out of class, see the bus at the stop, rush to get on said bus, get halfway through your roughly 45 minute ride home and then remember that you drove. *headdesk*

and finally, le coup de grace...

#3 - When baking, be sure to read the recipe correctly (as well you know). Do not confuse 2 teaspoons of baking soda with 2 tablespoons. Needless to say, my scones were very chalky. But wait, it gets better. Never having made scones before I ate a couple before realizing my error. Do not drink orange juice to counter the dry-mouth. What you will get is a mini acid-base reaction first in your mouth, and then in your stomach.
On the plus side, I found out our tap water is slightly acidic...
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: kitty-cat on August 03, 2010, 09:13:09 PM
Woohoo! Made it to the end. I can post now.  :)

#1 - When you want a nice glass of orange juice, don't take the cap off the 2 litre carton, pour some, decide it's not mixed enough and then proceed to shake (in an up and down motion using both hands)... parents will not let me forget that.

#2 - If you happen to be granted your parent's car with which you may drive to school please remember that you did so. Do not get out of class, see the bus at the stop, rush to get on said bus, get halfway through your roughly 45 minute ride home and then remember that you drove. *headdesk*

and finally, le coup de grace...

#3 - When baking, be sure to read the recipe correctly (as well you know). Do not confuse 2 teaspoons of baking soda with 2 tablespoons. Needless to say, my scones were very chalky. But wait, it gets better. Never having made scones before I ate a couple before realizing my error. Do not drink orange juice to counter the dry-mouth. What you will get is a mini acid-base reaction first in your mouth, and then in your stomach.
On the plus side, I found out our tap water is slightly acidic...

RE: number 3- don't mix up baking power and baking soda I wound up spending 3 hours picking out the chocolate chips so that I could make a new batch of cookies....
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Information_queen on August 04, 2010, 03:39:20 AM
Woohoo! Made it to the end. I can post now.  :)

#1 - When you want a nice glass of orange juice, don't take the cap off the 2 litre carton, pour some, decide it's not mixed enough and then proceed to shake (in an up and down motion using both hands)... parents will not let me forget that.

#2 - If you happen to be granted your parent's car with which you may drive to school please remember that you did so. Do not get out of class, see the bus at the stop, rush to get on said bus, get halfway through your roughly 45 minute ride home and then remember that you drove. *headdesk*

and finally, le coup de grace...

#3 - When baking, be sure to read the recipe correctly (as well you know). Do not confuse 2 teaspoons of baking soda with 2 tablespoons. Needless to say, my scones were very chalky. But wait, it gets better. Never having made scones before I ate a couple before realizing my error. Do not drink orange juice to counter the dry-mouth. What you will get is a mini acid-base reaction first in your mouth, and then in your stomach.
On the plus side, I found out our tap water is slightly acidic...

RE: number 3- don't mix up baking power and baking soda I wound up spending 3 hours picking out the chocolate chips so that I could make a new batch of cookies....

Or baking soda and flour.  Mom was trying to thicken the sauce in something she was making and she every time she added flour, the sauce fizzed. Yeah, it wasn't flour. They had pizza that night.

They had pizza the night she made the saucy meatballs too. Because the ingredients for the sauce were supposed to be mixed separately and then poured over the meatballs, not mixed in *with* the meatballs.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Suze on August 04, 2010, 06:04:21 AM
on the other hand the day I mixed up the baking powder and the baking soda in the sugar cookies

dad decided that they tasted like his mothers cookies (a lost recipe)  so it can turn out good
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Enigmatism on August 04, 2010, 07:53:51 AM
Here's a few baking tips from my sister...

Flour is one of the most important ingredients in a cake. If you forget it the resulting mess will not look like the light fluffy sponge cake you insist it is.

If you run out of caster sugar, ground up sugar cube will not be the same. Light fluffy sponge cakes do not have crunchy bits in them.

When you leave a cake in the oven and forget about it do not be surprised that you are a) being docked pocket money to help buy a replacement oven and b) banned from baking ever again.
However you should be c) grateful you didn't burn the house down!

Luckily she married a chef!  ;D
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Linley on August 04, 2010, 09:46:26 PM
If you need to hide the plastic dish drainer, it is best NOT to put it in the oven because you never know when someone will innocently turn on the oven to preheat, filling the kitchen with acrid smoke,causing flames to shoot out of the oven, and requiring the purchase of a new stove.

Why, you might ask, was the dish drainer in the oven? Well, we were selling the house and had been instructed to keep everything off the counter so my mother had the brilliant idea to stick the drainer in the oven.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Kasia_Kiwi on August 04, 2010, 09:49:44 PM
If you need to hide the plastic dish drainer, it is best NOT to put it in the oven because you never know when someone will innocently turn on the oven to preheat, filling the kitchen with acrid smoke,causing flames to shoot out of the oven, and requiring the purchase of a new stove.

Why, you might ask, was the dish drainer in the oven? Well, we were selling the house and had been instructed to keep everything off the counter so my mother had the brilliant idea to stick the drainer in the oven.

Been there. On the same note. Make sure you check the oven is empyty before pre-heating the confounded thing. It's a miracle my home still stands sometimes.

Also, bottles of sunflower oil are made of plastic. When making crepes or scrambled eggs, don't put the bottle down on the hot burner... there was oil everywhere...
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: kitty-cat on August 04, 2010, 09:50:53 PM
If you need to hide the plastic dish drainer, it is best NOT to put it in the oven because you never know when someone will innocently turn on the oven to preheat, filling the kitchen with acrid smoke,causing flames to shoot out of the oven, and requiring the purchase of a new stove.

Why, you might ask, was the dish drainer in the oven? Well, we were selling the house and had been instructed to keep everything off the counter so my mother had the brilliant idea to stick the drainer in the oven.

My mom once left plastic bowls in the oven... She forgot about them and they melted onto the oven- we got to use the self-clean thing on the oven to get it off... Since then, I always double and triple check before I start the oven. And I really wish my stepsister would too- the oven is a great place to store the baking pans that take up a lot of room.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: vorbau on August 05, 2010, 07:32:07 AM
Before serving a search warrant (or, really, conducting ANY work-related activity), test-drive your blouse.

Otherwise, you will find that it gapes away from your chest, exposing your generous snoobage whenever you deviate more than 10 degrees from vertical. Angles in excess of 25 degrees will offer those around you glimpses straight down to your navel.

You will be checked out by every male in the six-floor building in which you are working as well as many from the two adjacent buildings (yes, they email each other). You also will eventually, in desperation, resort to duct-taping the neckline of the errant blouse to your chest after repeated attempts to secure it by tucking it inside your bra straps fail.

You will be forced to resort to organic solvents to remove the duct tape adhesive from your skin (ow!). I'll let you know if the adhesive came out of the blouse; luckily, it was a $1 thrift shop blouse so trashing it won't break my heart.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Miss Vertigo on August 05, 2010, 08:12:59 AM
While in the process of being stung by a wasp in your kitchen, don't turn around quickly and run to try to get away from it. Doing so will cause you to trip over the tablecloth and land flat on your kitchen floor, doing the following damage:

a) bashed right knee: check
b) bashed left knee: check
c) left arm wrenched at the shoulder: check
d) left side of ribcage possibly bruised: check
e) lower back wrenched in an instinctive manouever in which you raise yourself up from the waist while falling face down to save you from bashing your head on a floor-level kitchen cupboard: check.

All of this will hurt far more than the wasp sting, which hurt like heck yesterday but which today is fine, while the rest of me can hardly move.

#fail.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Kasia_Kiwi on August 05, 2010, 08:16:07 AM
Oh the one hand, that really stinks for you.  Ouch :(

Oh the other hand, I love your stories of your very dramatic reactions. Every time one pops up on this thread I smile at your story telling. Not laughing at you, just at the way you tell stories.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: magicdomino on August 05, 2010, 10:01:21 AM
If you need to hide the plastic dish drainer, it is best NOT to put it in the oven because you never know when someone will innocently turn on the oven to preheat, filling the kitchen with acrid smoke,causing flames to shoot out of the oven, and requiring the purchase of a new stove.

Why, you might ask, was the dish drainer in the oven? Well, we were selling the house and had been instructed to keep everything off the counter so my mother had the brilliant idea to stick the drainer in the oven.

One of my favorite spatulas lost its plastic handle in the oven.  The shorter length makes it easier to manuever in small places.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Bibliophile on August 05, 2010, 10:06:37 AM
You will be forced to resort to organic solvents to remove the duct tape adhesive from your skin (ow!). I'll let you know if the adhesive came out of the blouse; luckily, it was a $1 thrift shop blouse so trashing it won't break my heart.

Along this vein, when planning on wearing stick on bra thing-a-ma-gigies, try them out in advance.  The day of the wedding that you're supposed to be a bridesmaid in is NOT the time to find out that they don't hold up anything.  Your attempt to combat the errant ways of the twins by using duct tape will work, but removing the tape does NOT feel good and the lack of any goo-gone type products in the hotel room at 1am results in an uncomfortable night with you pajama top stuck to the twins, an uncomfortable drive home, and an interesting experience peeling your regular bra from your skin so that you can remove the stickiness properly once you've arrived home.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Linley on August 05, 2010, 02:20:25 PM
If you need to hide the plastic dish drainer, it is best NOT to put it in the oven because you never know when someone will innocently turn on the oven to preheat, filling the kitchen with acrid smoke,causing flames to shoot out of the oven, and requiring the purchase of a new stove.

Why, you might ask, was the dish drainer in the oven? Well, we were selling the house and had been instructed to keep everything off the counter so my mother had the brilliant idea to stick the drainer in the oven.

My mom once left plastic bowls in the oven... She forgot about them and they melted onto the oven- we got to use the self-clean thing on the oven to get it off... Since then, I always double and triple check before I start the oven. And I really wish my stepsister would too- the oven is a great place to store the baking pans that take up a lot of room.

Unfortunately, our oven was well beyond where the self-cleaner could help. I spent the rest of the afternoon picking melted plastic out of the guts of the oven but every time we tried turning it on the room again filled with the smell of burnt plastic and in the end we had to replace it. Which was doubly annoying because we didn't even get to use the new oven long before we moved out.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: blue2000 on August 05, 2010, 02:38:34 PM
You will be forced to resort to organic solvents to remove the duct tape adhesive from your skin (ow!). I'll let you know if the adhesive came out of the blouse; luckily, it was a $1 thrift shop blouse so trashing it won't break my heart.

Along this vein, when planning on wearing stick on bra thing-a-ma-gigies, try them out in advance.  The day of the wedding that you're supposed to be a bridesmaid in is NOT the time to find out that they don't hold up anything.  Your attempt to combat the errant ways of the twins by using duct tape will work, but removing the tape does NOT feel good and the lack of any goo-gone type products in the hotel room at 1am results in an uncomfortable night with you pajama top stuck to the twins, an uncomfortable drive home, and an interesting experience peeling your regular bra from your skin so that you can remove the stickiness properly once you've arrived home.

That's interesting! I would say to try them out, but for a different reason.

The stick-ons that I used once for a relative's wedding worked pretty well, and they stuck like glue. Literally. I had to rip them off with a serious amount of force (sort of like a giant band-aid) and they hurt like heck! Never again!

OTOH, packing tape is very nice in a pinch, and doesn't hurt coming off.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: mechtilde on August 05, 2010, 02:43:46 PM
Don't try to catch a falling glass bottle- because when it hits the tiles it will shatter....
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Lady Snowdon on August 05, 2010, 07:57:00 PM
If you need to hide the plastic dish drainer, it is best NOT to put it in the oven because you never know when someone will innocently turn on the oven to preheat, filling the kitchen with acrid smoke,causing flames to shoot out of the oven, and requiring the purchase of a new stove.

Why, you might ask, was the dish drainer in the oven? Well, we were selling the house and had been instructed to keep everything off the counter so my mother had the brilliant idea to stick the drainer in the oven.

One of my favorite spatulas lost its plastic handle in the oven.  The shorter length makes it easier to manuever in small places.

In college, junior year, my roommate had a nice boyfriend who helped us rearrange our living room and kitchen whenever we got bored with the current arrangement.  Unfortunately, said nice boyfriend had a mother who kept their bread in the oven; one time while rearranging the kitchen, he stuck the bread in the oven because, well, that's where he thought it should go.  If you're going to do that, you should warn people first, so they don't turn on the oven to preheat it without removing the bread!  Yeah...my roommate never let me live that down...my retort was always "Who puts bread in the oven?  It's not a giant breadbox!".
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Hushabye on August 06, 2010, 10:05:25 AM
While making pizza (or anything, really) on the grill, if you drop something on the aluminum foil that's been on the grill for about ten minutes, don't take you time about picking up said something.  You see, aluminum foil is made from metal and metal conducts heat.  Yes, the same heat that your grill has been producing.  In other words, the aluminum foil will be very hot, only you won't realize it right away, and you'll end up burning your index finger.  And it will not feel good.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: The Opinionator on August 06, 2010, 10:10:02 AM
When unloading the dishwasher, one might like to pay attention since one's flatamate may have put in some knives the wrong end up and one may end up slicing one's fingers open  ::).

And people wonder why I have a crazy stash of plasters.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Midnight Kitty on August 06, 2010, 11:13:17 AM
When unloading the dishwasher, one might like to pay attention since one's flatamate may have put in some knives the wrong end up and one may end up slicing one's fingers open  ::).
My DH just bought me a fancy new dishwasher with a place for everything that goes in a dishwasher.  There is no place for sharp knives.  The instruction manual does not recommend washing good cutlery in the dishwasher.  The new cutlery my DH bought me to go with my soon to be remodeled kitchen does not recommend autodishwashing; Hand washing is recommended.

This explains MY new collection of cuts on my hands; I'm not used to handwashing slippery, sharp objects.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Fleur-de-Lis on August 06, 2010, 12:04:10 PM
When unloading the dishwasher, one might like to pay attention since one's flatamate may have put in some knives the wrong end up and one may end up slicing one's fingers open  ::).

And people wonder why I have a crazy stash of plasters.

Actually, my housemate and I put the knives "blade up" in the silverware basket - in some older dishwashers, it was possible for the blade to work its way down past the bottom grid in the basket and get stuck. 

Loading them "blade up" means the blade doesn't jam on the door or the spray fan.

Emma
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: The Opinionator on August 06, 2010, 12:23:33 PM
When unloading the dishwasher, one might like to pay attention since one's flatamate may have put in some knives the wrong end up and one may end up slicing one's fingers open  ::).

And people wonder why I have a crazy stash of plasters.

Actually, my housemate and I put the knives "blade up" in the silverware basket - in some older dishwashers, it was possible for the blade to work its way down past the bottom grid in the basket and get stuck. 

Loading them "blade up" means the blade doesn't jam on the door or the spray fan.

Emma

In ours, the basket is very thick so the blades don't go through it (I checked if when we loaded it for the first time). I wouldn't have a problem if they were all blade up, but it was only a couple and I was not paying attention.

Midnight Kitty, I feel your pain. Our old place didn't have a dishwasher, it took me a while until I worked out a good system.

In good news, it's finally stopped bleeding!  ;D
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Kimblee on August 06, 2010, 12:39:01 PM
When unloading the dishwasher, one might like to pay attention since one's flatamate may have put in some knives the wrong end up and one may end up slicing one's fingers open  ::).
My DH just bought me a fancy new dishwasher with a place for everything that goes in a dishwasher.  There is no place for sharp knives.  The instruction manual does not recommend washing good cutlery in the dishwasher.  The new cutlery my DH bought me to go with my soon to be remodeled kitchen does not recommend autodishwashing; Hand washing is recommended.

This explains MY new collection of cuts on my hands; I'm not used to handwashing slippery, sharp objects.

My trick is to wipe them with the cloth against the blunt side of the knife, then quickly put it away before it can turn on you.  ;)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Elfmama on August 06, 2010, 01:45:37 PM
Be very careful when working with rotary fabric cutters that the blade is on tightly enough but not too tight. Replace a cutter which cannot be kept a the correct level of tightness.  Otherwise, a too-loose blade may make the cutter wobble and jump onto the top of the acrylic ruler, and slice off the tip of your left index finger.

Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: dawbs on August 06, 2010, 03:50:11 PM
Be very careful when working with rotary fabric cutters that the blade is on tightly enough but not too tight. Replace a cutter which cannot be kept a the correct level of tightness.  Otherwise, a too-loose blade may make the cutter wobble and jump onto the top of the acrylic ruler, and slice off the tip of your left index finger.


Mr Dawbs did that with an edger--the kind with the bit whirling blade...it hit a rock and the blad whizzed by his head.
Everyone's fine but quick reflexes and some sheer luck, it missed his ear by 1/2 inch and his brain by...well, not much more.
I still hate that edger, even though it's now fixed.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: kitty-cat on August 06, 2010, 07:34:24 PM
When unloading the dishwasher, one might like to pay attention since one's flatamate may have put in some knives the wrong end up and one may end up slicing one's fingers open  ::).
My DH just bought me a fancy new dishwasher with a place for everything that goes in a dishwasher.  There is no place for sharp knives.  The instruction manual does not recommend washing good cutlery in the dishwasher.  The new cutlery my DH bought me to go with my soon to be remodeled kitchen does not recommend autodishwashing; Hand washing is recommended.

This explains MY new collection of cuts on my hands; I'm not used to handwashing slippery, sharp objects.

According to Alton Brown of Good Eats, a good way to wash knives is to lay them flat against a cutting board in the sink and wash one side at a time.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Pinky830 on August 06, 2010, 07:55:00 PM
When unloading the dishwasher, one might like to pay attention since one's flatamate may have put in some knives the wrong end up and one may end up slicing one's fingers open  ::).

And people wonder why I have a crazy stash of plasters.

My roommate did that once in college, with one of those cheap, thin steak knives. The same kind I stuck in my leg in my above post, come to think of it. I still have the scar. Nobody at my house is EVER allowed to put knives in with the sharp end up.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Elfmama on August 06, 2010, 11:35:35 PM
If you have to handwash knives, NEVER drop them down in the sink with the other stuff.  That lets them hide in the suds and cut your fingers. Hold them in your hand and dip them into the soapy water, and wash from the back of the knife.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: MrsJWine on August 06, 2010, 11:53:26 PM
If you have to handwash knives, NEVER drop them down in the sink with the other stuff.  That lets them hide in the suds and cut your fingers. Hold them in your hand and dip them into the soapy water, and wash from the back of the knife.

You'd think I'd have learned this by now.  But noooooo.  Every time.  EVERY time, I think, "Oh, it's ok.  I'll remember they're there."  And then OOPS!  The kitchen looks like a recreation of Carrie, and Naomi needs another finger transplant.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Fliss on August 07, 2010, 02:28:52 AM

When finally at the end of a long day in the sun, don't forget basic safety issues.

Such as when hosing down the cement slabs you've just spent 8 hours laying, don't take off your boots and socks and wear thongs so your feet feel better. Because thongs don't have any grip on the soles - and you WILL find yourself crashing down onto the new slabs, narrowly avoiding the tables and chairs, when you slip on the wet concrete.

As you lay there blinking and wondering what the hell just happened, your dogs will bound up, thinking this is an exciting new game and try to play. As you use them to haul yourself to your now bare feet and hobble inside for another hot shower, one of them will take the broken thongs and hide them in a potplant.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Slartibartfast on August 07, 2010, 03:26:10 AM
If you have to handwash knives, NEVER drop them down in the sink with the other stuff.  That lets them hide in the suds and cut your fingers. Hold them in your hand and dip them into the soapy water, and wash from the back of the knife.

I put them all off to the side, then do them all at once.  So I *know* there are no sharp knives hiding in the sink until the end, when the bubbles have mostly disappeared and I know exactly how many knives I put in there!

I seem to recall some news story a few years back about a toddler(?) who died or was seriously injured because his parent was doing dishes and put some sharp knives in the dishwasher pointy side up, and the child ran through the kitchen and fell on them   :'(  I still put my utensils business-side up, though - I feel like they get cleaner that way!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: shhh its me on August 07, 2010, 04:29:12 AM
As a general knife safety (if your me)once you become accustomed to dull knifes just leave them that way it's just not worth it.
When my husband moved in he brought his good knives for months I didn't cook without swearing and each and every day uttered " I bled on this a little do you still want it?"
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Midnight Kitty on August 07, 2010, 01:31:10 PM
The flatware section of this new dishwasher only allows the "business" end up.  I assume this is to allow better cleaning.  The super feature of this dishwasher is the "turbo zone" where one can put caked on heavily soiled pots and pans and it will clean them without presoaking.  Although I have put pans in the zone, I didn't run the "turbo" cycle and they still came clean.  I love my new dishwasher.  I don't wash anything but knives by hand, and I clean them as I go.  I have learned to keep the sharp edge away from me now.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Lysistrata on August 07, 2010, 06:12:26 PM
If you're using a hand mixer to, say, mix cake batter, and you scrape the sides of the bowl with a fork to help everything mix properly, don't be concerned that any batter remaining on the fork is being "wasted" and remedy this by moving the fork into the whirling mixer beaters. There will be a loud noise and you will have to throw the fork away as the tines are now pointing in different directions from one another.

Luckily, it was a cheap fork and we have plenty, but I don't know what I was thinking.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: kitty_ev on August 07, 2010, 06:20:30 PM
If you're using a hand mixer to, say, mix cake batter, and you scrape the sides of the bowl with a fork to help everything mix properly, don't be concerned that any batter remaining on the fork is being "wasted" and remedy this by moving the fork into the whirling mixer beaters. There will be a loud noise and you will have to throw the fork away as the tines are now pointing in different directions from one another.

Luckily, it was a cheap fork and we have plenty, but I don't know what I was thinking.

In a similar vein- when making home-made falafel, if the food processor breaks down necessitating the use of the blender, it is not wise to use a thin plastic spatula to push the mixture of chickpeas and onions towards the spinning blades whilst the motor is running (only the bottom two centimetres of the mixture was being blended) as this will result in having to dispose of the entire mixture as it's near-on impossible to pick out all the fragments of plastic from the mixture. I was so unimpressed- dinner had taken far longer to prepare than I wanted. I ended up "processing" the mixture using a pestle and mortar.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Pinky830 on August 07, 2010, 08:29:01 PM
I stuck a wooden spoon into the blender once, to unstick some frozen strawberries.

It was like there was no time lapse at all. Instantly, there were frozen strawberries and bits of spoon all over the countertops and cabinets.

When I told DH about it, he looked over his glasses in a deliberate imitation of my dad, and said superciliously, "So..what'd we learn from this?"

"We learned that my husband is an insufferable know-it-all. But wait! We already knew that."
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: hot_shaker on August 07, 2010, 09:39:43 PM
If you're using a hand mixer to, say, mix cake batter, and you scrape the sides of the bowl with a fork to help everything mix properly, don't be concerned that any batter remaining on the fork is being "wasted" and remedy this by moving the fork into the whirling mixer beaters. There will be a loud noise and you will have to throw the fork away as the tines are now pointing in different directions from one another.

Luckily, it was a cheap fork and we have plenty, but I don't know what I was thinking.

Probably "This is a good idea!"  :D
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: M-theory on August 08, 2010, 02:02:22 PM
If you're not 100% whether you've already salted your food, don't salt it again before tasting. Just don't. (If something is too salty for me, it would probably make someone else shrivel up on the spot.)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: snowfire on August 08, 2010, 09:20:16 PM
When you switch from a plain, generic stand mixer to a Kitchenaid, don't stick ANYTHING in the bowl to scrape the sides while the mixer is running.

Old mixer had two beaters and a bowl that rotated.  It was easy to stick a spatula down the side of the bowl and scrape while the bowl was turning.  A Kitchenaid has a stationary bowl and a single beater on a planetary gear.  It will eat spatulas and not even burp.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Suze on August 08, 2010, 09:26:05 PM
I found that out the hard way too Snowfire

and then I found the plastic blade that scrapes the bowl for you

best 20 dollars I ever spent for the thing.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: kitty-cat on August 08, 2010, 10:04:46 PM
When you switch from a plain, generic stand mixer to a Kitchenaid, don't stick ANYTHING in the bowl to scrape the sides while the mixer is running.

Old mixer had two beaters and a bowl that rotated.  It was easy to stick a spatula down the side of the bowl and scrape while the bowl was turning.  A Kitchenaid has a stationary bowl and a single beater on a planetary gear.  It will eat spatulas and not even burp.

Tee-hee. I've learned how to use the rubber spatula to poke stuff down into the mixture with my mom's Kitchenaid. In fact I used this skill tonight to get the mashed potatoes for my shepherd's pie done. (egg whites are fun to mix in ::) They are also fun to hand beat to stiff peaks because you can't find the hand mixer...)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: White Dragon on August 08, 2010, 10:20:31 PM
Now that you've gone and purchased a shiny new laptop, you need to set it up on your desk, right?

And then you need a chair to sit on.

So you go and buy a cheap new office-type chair.
With wheels.

And even though you sit in chairs with wheels all week at work, be careful, because this is an unfamilar chair and you will get distracted and roll it over your own foot.

This is painful and will make your teenage daughter laugh at you.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: vorbau on August 08, 2010, 10:33:13 PM
If you have to handwash knives, NEVER drop them down in the sink with the other stuff.  That lets them hide in the suds and cut your fingers. Hold them in your hand and dip them into the soapy water, and wash from the back of the knife.

I put them all off to the side, then do them all at once.  So I *know* there are no sharp knives hiding in the sink until the end, when the bubbles have mostly disappeared and I know exactly how many knives I put in there!

I seem to recall some news story a few years back about a toddler(?) who died or was seriously injured because his parent was doing dishes and put some sharp knives in the dishwasher pointy side up, and the child ran through the kitchen and fell on them   :'(  I still put my utensils business-side up, though - I feel like they get cleaner that way!

Corollary:

When your extremely sharp, 10" chef's knife slides off the slippery cutting board on which you are dismembering fresh pineapple, do NOT reflexively grab for it on the way down. Because you will manage to grip the very sharp cutting edge in such a way as to place it perfectly diagonally across your palm, resulting in a spectacular slash. Also, because of the neurological problems you are having, a) your grip, which fails at random, will choose this moment to fail, resulting in your dropping the knife point down directly through the instep of your foot, and b) you will not at first experience pain and so will not notice that you are bleeding heavily from both hand and foot, creating an astonishing mess of blood (seriously. It looked like someone tried to butcher a mammoth.)

This in turn will cause your DH and DS to freak and dial 911 (which, looking back, was the right thing to do). The paramedics who respond will be from Company 40, all of whom you know quite well, as they work in the building immediately adjacent to yours. They will laugh their collective behinds off when they see you with a beach towel wrapped around your hand and another wrapped around your foot, with the handle of the chef's knife secured to your shin with bright pink duct tape (hey, it was a Christmas stocking stuffer). They will continue to giggle during transport, as will the nurse, EMT and doctor on radio duty in the ER. This inappropriate laughter will infect the ER staff, many of whom you either know (mostly from professional, not personal, contact) or recognize from recent visits there (and it's probably a bad thing when *all* the staff on duty recognizes you and comes by to hear your latest gross out stories, except for one nurse, who wanted the name of a good lawyer for her dingbat son). Many pictures will be taken, all of which I expect to see somewhere on the Internet within 24 hours.

So I spent from 1143 to 2037 in the ER. I am the proud possessor of 37 stitches in my right hand and another 16 in my right foot, though it looks like I managed to avoid any important bits. My hand and arm are in a dressing the size of Arkansas, and it itches. My foot looks like a watermelon, and to avoid wearing the ugliest shoe on earth I went out and bought a pair of Crocs. I'll post a survey so Ehell can vote on which is uglier - Crocs, or the "cast shoe."

The moral of my tale is: Don't try to prevent your good knife from hitting the floor. Even if it does, and is damaged or broken, it's a lot easier and cheaper to replace a $200 knife than to spend 8 hrs in the ER, get 53 stitches, face possible surgery, and be on wide loads of drugs. (Not to mention the mess in the kitchen. Blood, pineapple, pineapple juice, and tropical fruit granita everywhere, the latter because DS, in the excitement, hit the "start" button on the blender without the lid being on. Bless his heart, he stayed home and cleaned everything up). Oh, and pineapple contains malic acid, citric acid, and bromelain, which sting like the dickens in an open wound.  I can't use my dominant hand, I can't walk, I'm wearing the ugliest shoes in creation, I itch from the bandages and the drugs, and I have until 8/30 to pass my gun qualifications at work - and I can't shoot left-handed.

I tell you, let the knives fall where they may. But move your foot first.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Diane AKA Traska on August 08, 2010, 10:44:38 PM
Vorbau, I swear to you I've never said this to another soul on the Internets (any of the many, many tubes!) that I didn't personally know.  But... I love you.  Not in a creepy way, in a "Man, I love you!" way that you can get after large amounts of alcohol are consumed and stories are shared.  Your posts here and in "Gross out" (or, as I like to think of it, the Dogs in Elk Pudding thread :D) never fail to bring a smile to my face.  I feel your pain... but only because my sides hurt so much!

(EDIT:  As amusing as it would be, there is no Dogs in Elf post!)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: vorbau on August 08, 2010, 10:49:52 PM
Vorbau, I swear to you I've never said this to another soul on the Internets (any of the many, many tubes!) that I didn't personally know.  But... I love you.  Not in a creepy way, in a "Man, I love you!" way that you can get after large amounts of alcohol are consumed and stories are shared.  Your posts here and in "Gross out" (or, as I like to think of it, the Dogs in Elk Pudding thread :D) never fail to bring a smile to my face.  I feel your pain... but only because my sides hurt so much!

(EDIT:  As amusing as it would be, there is no Dogs in Elf post!)

Traska - that is so sweet! I'm laughing about it because if I don't I'll run naked down the street barking like a dog, and I'm so glad I can share the laughter. Sometimes, that's just all you can do.  ;D

And "elk pudding" sounds like something I have or will soon encounter in a professional sense - perhaps my next outdoor crime scene?
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: hermanne on August 09, 2010, 12:36:13 PM
....

When I told DH about it, he looked over his glasses in a deliberate imitation of my dad, and said superciliously, "So..what'd we learn from this?"

"We learned that my husband is an insufferable know-it-all. But wait! We already knew that."

Gotta remember that line! :D
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Punky B. on August 09, 2010, 04:45:43 PM
I stuck a wooden spoon into the blender once, to unstick some frozen strawberries.

It was like there was no time lapse at all. Instantly, there were frozen strawberries and bits of spoon all over the countertops and cabinets.

When I told DH about it, he looked over his glasses in a deliberate imitation of my dad, and said superciliously, "So..what'd we learn from this?"

"We learned that my husband is an insufferable know-it-all. But wait! We already knew that."

Lol, my Mom makes "strawberry drink" with frozen strawberries, frozen bannanas, and something else in a blender ... my Dad and I have eaten a lot of wooden spoon over the years.  Fiber!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: guihong on August 09, 2010, 06:57:02 PM
1. When putting anything down the disposal, don't force it all down with a fork. Do it a little at a time and use the squirt thing on the sink.

2. Say you break rule 1 and use a fork or tongs.  When you drop said fork, and it's spinning around making an awful racket, don't fish it out with your fingers without turning off the disposal.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Pinky830 on August 09, 2010, 07:32:13 PM
1. When putting anything down the disposal, don't force it all down with a fork. Do it a little at a time and use the squirt thing on the sink.

2. Say you break rule 1 and use a fork or tongs.  When you drop said fork, and it's spinning around making an awful racket, don't fish it out with your fingers without turning off the disposal.

I did that ten days after I was married, with a brand new butter knife. 17 years later, I still have a butter knife with little chewed marks on it. What can I say, it was the only time I've ever had a disposal and I just didn't know.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: vorbau on August 09, 2010, 08:18:38 PM
UPDATE:

Well, it turns out I fractured the cuboid bone in my foot when the knife hit my foot. So now I am wearing this:

(http://i41.photobucket.com/albums/e270/dotson105113/th_73.jpg) (http://s41.photobucket.com/albums/e270/dotson105113/?action=view&current=73.jpg)

Which doesn't really qualify as an ugly shoe. Boot maybe. But which does reinforce my comment about let the daggone knife break if it wants to.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: White Dragon on August 09, 2010, 10:28:14 PM
Quote
The moral of my tale is: Don't try to prevent your good knife from hitting the floor. Even if it does, and is damaged or broken, it's a lot easier and cheaper to replace a $200 knife than to spend 8 hrs in the ER, get 53 stitches, face possible surgery, and be on wide loads of drugs. (Not to mention the mess in the kitchen. Blood, pineapple, pineapple juice, and tropical fruit granita everywhere, the latter because DS, in the excitement, hit the "start" button on the blender without the lid being on. Bless his heart, he stayed home and cleaned everything up). Oh, and pineapple contains malic acid, citric acid, and bromelain, which sting like the dickens in an open wound.  I can't use my dominant hand, I can't walk, I'm wearing the ugliest shoes in creation, I itch from the bandages and the drugs, and I have until 8/30 to pass my gun qualifications at work - and I can't shoot left-handed.

I tell you, let the knives fall where they may. But move your foot first.

Okay, you win.  :D
I'm not sure what the prize is, but...you win!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: kitty-cat on August 09, 2010, 10:31:51 PM
Quote
The moral of my tale is: Don't try to prevent your good knife from hitting the floor. Even if it does, and is damaged or broken, it's a lot easier and cheaper to replace a $200 knife than to spend 8 hrs in the ER, get 53 stitches, face possible surgery, and be on wide loads of drugs. (Not to mention the mess in the kitchen. Blood, pineapple, pineapple juice, and tropical fruit granita everywhere, the latter because DS, in the excitement, hit the "start" button on the blender without the lid being on. Bless his heart, he stayed home and cleaned everything up). Oh, and pineapple contains malic acid, citric acid, and bromelain, which sting like the dickens in an open wound.  I can't use my dominant hand, I can't walk, I'm wearing the ugliest shoes in creation, I itch from the bandages and the drugs, and I have until 8/30 to pass my gun qualifications at work - and I can't shoot left-handed.

I tell you, let the knives fall where they may. But move your foot first.

Okay, you win.  :D
I'm not sure what the prize is, but...you win!

She won many pages back :P
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: White Dragon on August 09, 2010, 10:34:05 PM
Quote
The moral of my tale is: Don't try to prevent your good knife from hitting the floor. Even if it does, and is damaged or broken, it's a lot easier and cheaper to replace a $200 knife than to spend 8 hrs in the ER, get 53 stitches, face possible surgery, and be on wide loads of drugs. (Not to mention the mess in the kitchen. Blood, pineapple, pineapple juice, and tropical fruit granita everywhere, the latter because DS, in the excitement, hit the "start" button on the blender without the lid being on. Bless his heart, he stayed home and cleaned everything up). Oh, and pineapple contains malic acid, citric acid, and bromelain, which sting like the dickens in an open wound.  I can't use my dominant hand, I can't walk, I'm wearing the ugliest shoes in creation, I itch from the bandages and the drugs, and I have until 8/30 to pass my gun qualifications at work - and I can't shoot left-handed.

I tell you, let the knives fall where they may. But move your foot first.

Okay, you win.  :D
I'm not sure what the prize is, but...you win!

She won many pages back :P

Well, yeah.
Squirrel puddles beats elk carcasses, but only by a nose (so to speak.)

But in terms of "most deserving of sympathy for strange random injuries", she also wins.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Diane AKA Traska on August 09, 2010, 11:09:18 PM
Am I the only one who thinks that boot looks vaguely... Klingon?

Put some plates and spikes on there, and you are ready to BATTLE WITH HONOR!

(Provided you're not expected to wield blades, of course, but... oh wait, they use WHAT?  Oh my.)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: vorbau on August 10, 2010, 10:25:04 AM
OK, I'm done. Grandma always said bad things come in threes, and it looks like she was right. Ehellions who want to see me go barking mad, doing an imitation of a psychotic Belgian Malinois, running up and down the street whining and howling (though I'll keep my skivvies on, sparing my neighbors nudity), please form one line to the right. Refreshments will be served after the performance. Please feel free to use flash and video photography, everybody else will be.

As to why I'm not posting in Hugs, a) if I do, y'all will hug me, and I'll start crying and not be able to stop; b) I really am trying to see and share the humor in all this; and c) this is, after all, a warning thread about what not to do - and you definitely shouldn't do ANY of the things I've done in the last three days. Ever.

This morning, early (0500), I was filling go-cups of coffee for me & DH. We have these things called "Bubba Kegs" which hold 32 oz and are shaped kinda like a reverse pyramid - smaller at the bottom - so they fit snugly in auto cup holders. However, this makes them top-heavy and unstable anywhere else, like a kitchen counter.

As I was adding my two extra shots to mine, my clumsiness (large dressing + neuro problems) caused me to knock the cup over. As I tried to grab it, the kitchen rug slipped out from under my foot in the cast, despite the nonskid on both. Therefore, I a) banged my forehead on the kitchen counter and b) got hot coffee down the right side of my face. Total damage: One large contusion R forehead; one shiner R eye; first-degree burns, R upper and lower eyelids and right upper malar surface (cheekbone), second-degree burns, R lower malar (cheek area) and nasolabial fold. And a nasty contusion on my R knee from banging it on the floor.

I had to go to work today. When I get home, I am crawling into bed, pulling the covers over my head, and not coming out until someone or something assures me I am no longer making like Joe BTFSPLK.

But the message remains the same: Let falling things fall! (You'd think I'd have learned this by now :P)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: vorbau on August 10, 2010, 10:26:25 AM
Oh, and a funny one from last night:

Never trust a fart. Especially if you've recently begun a high-fiber diet.

Although, watching DH walk around the grocery store, wearing one of my feminine hygiene pads (extra long, overnight, supermaxi with wings ;)) to protect himself from his now-damp underwear, was funny enough to make up for this entire week.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Outdoor Girl on August 10, 2010, 10:31:36 AM
Oh, I am so laughing at your husband right now!

And vorbau, if you are ever laid up from all of your accidents, I think you should start writing a book.  I've thoroughly enjoyed your posts here and in the gross out thread.  You have such a vivid way with words that I can picture exactly what you write.  Although, sometimes in the gross out thread, that isn't a good thing.   :P   ;D

Some sort of procedural police thriller, maybe?
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Miss Vertigo on August 10, 2010, 10:34:37 AM

As I was adding my two extra shots to mine, my clumsiness (large dressing + neuro problems) caused me to knock the cup over. As I tried to grab it, the kitchen rug slipped out from under my foot in the cast, despite the nonskid on both. Therefore, I a) banged my forehead on the kitchen counter and b) got hot coffee down the right side of my face. Total damage: One large contusion R forehead; one shiner R eye; first-degree burns, R upper and lower eyelids and right upper malar surface (cheekbone), second-degree burns, R lower malar (cheek area) and nasolabial fold. And a nasty contusion on my R knee from banging it on the floor.

Holy neckbraces, Batman - that even beats the injuries I sustained whilst running away from the wasp last week (which still hurt, btw!). Also in the kitchen. Kitchens are evil.

Hope you're feeling better soon...
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: vorbau on August 10, 2010, 10:37:45 AM
Thanks, everyone. I now have bandages and a pirate patch to go with my Klingon boot. No damage other than to the skin, and it will heal fine, no scarring, thanks to my quickness with the ice. I'll post pictures if I can edit out ID details.

And I should have some more gross out stories coming. Like my deputy, Mickey, encountering a very old, very overheated, very dead skunk while on our outdoor scene last week ...
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Outdoor Girl on August 10, 2010, 10:38:28 AM
*rubbing hands in anticipation*
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: RainhaDoTexugo on August 10, 2010, 11:33:28 AM
Vorbau, step away from the computer.  Find the nearest big bed, check it for spikes and poison, and when you know it's safe, lie down in the very center of it very carefully.  Then, once you're settled, don't move, ever.  Or at least for a week or two.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: lilihob on August 10, 2010, 12:41:53 PM
Vorbau, gross-out thread! Not this :o
You, as always, made it sound hilarious, but ouch!

Feel better soon.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Suze on August 10, 2010, 02:54:50 PM
See you shouldn't have laughed so hard at Mickey for finding that skunk.....

Karma is a >well you know<
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: alegria on August 10, 2010, 03:57:15 PM
Oh, and a funny one from last night:

Never trust a fart. Especially if you've recently begun a high-fiber diet.


Although, watching DH walk around the grocery store, wearing one of my feminine hygiene pads (extra long, overnight, supermaxi with wings ;)) to protect himself from his now-damp underwear, was funny enough to make up for this entire week.

Words to live by.   ;D
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: kitty_ev on August 10, 2010, 04:25:42 PM
Vorbau, I have an apology to make. I have been chuckling like a very chuckly something (sorry, couldn't find a suitable metaphor there) while reading all your recent updates. Not at you getting hurt- that's not funny- but the situations you've dealt with due to the ludicrous run of bad luck you've been experiencing has to set a new record. I second Rainha- I think you deserve a calm few days in bed while karma goes and pesters someone else for a change. With some chocolate. I almost said hot chocolate, but then thought it might be a bad idea. Keep sane! The madness will stop soon!
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Dazi on August 10, 2010, 04:58:56 PM
Don't read Vorau's posts whilst eating watermelon as you will start laughing causing you to choke and then fall off your computer chair.  ::)  Why, I have no idea who did that.  Also, now my elbow hurts...
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: kitty-cat on August 10, 2010, 06:26:50 PM
Don't read Vorau's posts whilst eating watermelon as you will start laughing causing you to choke and then fall off your computer chair.  ::)  Why, I have no idea who did that.  Also, now my elbow hurts...

Corrallary: Don't eat ANYTHING while reading Vorabu's posts...
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: vorbau on August 10, 2010, 09:10:32 PM
Vorbau, step away from the computer.  Find the nearest big bed, check it for spikes and poison, and when you know it's safe, lie down in the very center of it very carefully.  Then, once you're settled, don't move, ever.  Or at least for a week or two.

I'm set: books, cats, fan, chocolate, mineral water, special blanket, iPod, comfy jammies. And I'm not coming out till Friday.

Sorry about the watermelon! :D
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: RainhaDoTexugo on August 10, 2010, 09:11:44 PM
Just don't spill the mineral water on the iPod and electrocute yourself...
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: MizB on August 10, 2010, 09:14:01 PM
Just don't spill the mineral water on the iPod and electrocute yourself...

Don't give her ideas Rainha!! Vorbau I hope you feel better.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Information_queen on August 10, 2010, 10:03:46 PM
If you have to handwash knives, NEVER drop them down in the sink with the other stuff.  That lets them hide in the suds and cut your fingers. Hold them in your hand and dip them into the soapy water, and wash from the back of the knife.

I put them all off to the side, then do them all at once.  So I *know* there are no sharp knives hiding in the sink until the end, when the bubbles have mostly disappeared and I know exactly how many knives I put in there!

I seem to recall some news story a few years back about a toddler(?) who died or was seriously injured because his parent was doing dishes and put some sharp knives in the dishwasher pointy side up, and the child ran through the kitchen and fell on them   :'(  I still put my utensils business-side up, though - I feel like they get cleaner that way!

I store dirty knives behind the faucet, just like my mom does.

Except for that one time when a steak knife got dropped in the dish water. That required a trip to the emergency room and stitches. I was only eight or nine at the time and I'm still very careful about it. I think Mom still has a scar from it, too.

I do maintain that my stab wound was obtained in a much more dramatic fashion (or maybe that's just the way I tell the story... >:D)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: kitty_ev on August 11, 2010, 01:59:57 PM
When purchasing a Costa coffee in the break between tutorials, do not remove the lid to make it cool faster. The coffee will be exceedingly full and when the lid is removed the pressure of your grip will cause the cardboard cup to bend and spill the coffee all over your tights, shoes, ID badge, swipe card, SMARTcard, fob watch and a considerable amount of floor (somehow I still had nearly a full cup of coffee- not sure how that happened!). The lovely baristas will get grumpy because they have to clean the floor in the middle of a rush, you will get very sticky from your mocha, it'll take the best part of half an hour to clean your cards and card holder and you'll smell of coffee for the rest of the afternoon. You will also be late back to your tutorial. It will not be fun.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Elfmama on August 11, 2010, 03:48:59 PM
When purchasing a Costa coffee in the break between tutorials, do not remove the lid to make it cool faster. The coffee will be exceedingly full and when the lid is removed the pressure of your grip will cause the cardboard cup to bend and spill the coffee all over your tights, shoes, ID badge, swipe card, SMARTcard, fob watch and a considerable amount of floor (somehow I still had nearly a full cup of coffee- not sure how that happened!).
A perfect example of Crumpacker's Law of Liquid Expansion, which states that a spilled liquid increases in volume in direct relation to the mess it will make and the time it will take to clean up.  A half cup of water (118cc) spilled on the kitchen floor remains a half cup.  A half cup of grape juice spilled on the antique white wool persian rug will expand to at least a quart (.9 liter, more or less.)
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Dazi on August 11, 2010, 06:52:03 PM
Sorry about the watermelon! :D

I survived and surprisingly not bruised  :-\ (which will most likely mean that a super shiner will come up in a week or so).  Just a little sore today, fingers have been numb on and off all day (as I apparently whapped not only my elbow, but also my shoulder...I didn't feel that until today).
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: Pinky830 on August 11, 2010, 07:01:48 PM
Don't reach into a ticked-off cat's carrier when it's already growling at you, and your techs just said "I dunno if you ought to do that."

Oh well, I haven't been mauled by a cat in 6 or 7 years. I guess I was due. WOW, did that hurt.
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: snowfire on August 12, 2010, 12:00:52 AM
Don't reach into a ticked-off cat's carrier when it's already growling at you, and your techs just said "I dunno if you ought to do that."

Oh well, I haven't been mauled by a cat in 6 or 7 years. I guess I was due. WOW, did that hurt.

I learned that one a LONG time ago.  My late kitty Deanna was a bit of a psycho kitty.  One time when I had taken her to the vet, taken apart the carrier to get her out the first time, then the vet did her stuff & we let her go back in the carrier.  Then the vet remembered that she had not taken Deannas temp.  My this time the carrier was shaking, growling and hissing.  We looked at each other, looked at the carrier & the vet laughed.  She said "It's not THAT important."
Title: Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
Post by: vorbau on August 12, 2010, 06:36:41 AM