Etiquette Hell

Etiquette School is in session! => Complete Silence => Topic started by: cms1978 on June 10, 2009, 08:27:30 AM

Title: Yeah, sure I'll put your crap on my Visa!
Post by: cms1978 on June 10, 2009, 08:27:30 AM
I used silence in conjunction with the Icy Glare of Death(tm) yesterday at walmart.  I was in a pretty bad mood.  I'm checking out, and this lane didn't happen to have those little plastic sticks for separating orders.  When the cashier is done, she asks me if that's everything I have.  Since there were no sticks, I glance back at the belt to make sure all my stuff made it and the stuff from the next customer doesn't get mixed in.  I get ready to swipe my Visa, when the special snowflake behind me says "well, you can just pay for my stuff too".

Cue crickets chirping.

I'm almost sure he was "joking" but seriously?  It's an interesting assumption that I have enough money to pay for your stuff!
Title: Re: Yeah, sure I'll put your crap on my Visa!
Post by: caranfin on June 10, 2009, 08:28:35 AM
I'm sure it was a joke. But one that didn't need to be made, as it wasn't funny.
Title: Re: Yeah, sure I'll put your crap on my Visa!
Post by: ShadesOfGrey on June 10, 2009, 08:32:37 AM
I think she was probably joking. And so, I dont think she was necessarily a snowflake.  I just dont see this as rude or entitled - nor do I see her assuming you were *actually* going to pay.  You, of course, were there, and know the tone better, but unless she started to put stuff on the scanner or acted huffily when you didnt pay....well, I just dont see this as anything but harmless and possibly even friendly. 
Title: Re: Yeah, sure I'll put your crap on my Visa!
Post by: MayHug on June 10, 2009, 08:34:32 AM
Wow, guess I've been rude. I've jokingly said this. I don't see where he was assuming you had enough to pay or even expected you to. In my humble opinion, the icy glare of death was overkill. Your choice to use silence if you found it offensive was enough.
Title: Re: Yeah, sure I'll put your crap on my Visa!
Post by: Harriet Jones on June 10, 2009, 08:35:12 AM
I've gotten this a couple of times, but I can tell they're joking.  I usually say something like "Maybe next time" ...
Title: Re: Yeah, sure I'll put your crap on my Visa!
Post by: snowball's chance on June 10, 2009, 09:05:12 AM
I agree that it was a joke, something I would probably say as well, you just weren't in the mood for it, OP. 
Title: Re: Yeah, sure I'll put your crap on my Visa!
Post by: FoxPaws on June 10, 2009, 09:18:12 AM
I would have laughed and said, "Sorry, not today!" And I'm sure I've made similar comments as well.

 :-\ One of the discourging things I've learned on Ehell is that no matter what is said, somebody will choose to be offended by it.  8) I've stopped letting it bother me.

eta: a word
Title: Re: Yeah, sure I'll put your crap on my Visa!
Post by: caranfin on June 10, 2009, 09:28:50 AM
:-\ One of the discourging things I've learned on Ehell is that no matter is said, somebody will choose to be offended by it.

I don't think most people choose to be offended. It's an emotional reaction. I'm sure most of us would choose to never be offended if we actually had that option.
Title: Re: Yeah, sure I'll put your crap on my Visa!
Post by: FoxPaws on June 10, 2009, 09:32:17 AM
I don't think most people choose to be offended. It's an emotional reaction. I'm sure most of us would choose to never be offended if we actually had that option.
I think you can choose whether or not you're going to sweat the small stuff. And the offhand comments of strangers are small stuff.
Title: Re: Yeah, sure I'll put your crap on my Visa!
Post by: Bibliophile on June 10, 2009, 09:39:51 AM
I agree that it was a joke, something I would probably say as well, you just weren't in the mood for it, OP. 

POD.  I actually find the title of the post more offensive than the comment made by the other shopper...
Title: Re: Yeah, sure I'll put your crap on my Visa!
Post by: penelope2017 on June 10, 2009, 09:41:28 AM
I don't get the point of this post. The person was clearly joking. I doubt they meant it be offensive. Was the OP offended by something so clearly a joke?
Title: Re: Yeah, sure I'll put your crap on my Visa!
Post by: cms1978 on June 10, 2009, 10:01:37 AM
Okay.  So I guess I go to ehell for this one.  I just don't see why someone would approach me that way if I was clearly in a bad mood. 
Title: Re: Yeah, sure I'll put your crap on my Visa!
Post by: penelope2017 on June 10, 2009, 10:19:09 AM
Okay.  So I guess I go to ehell for this one.  I just don't see why someone would approach me that way if I was clearly in a bad mood. 

I just don't know how anyone would know you were clearly in a bad mood by just observing you check out your items?
Title: Re: Yeah, sure I'll put your crap on my Visa!
Post by: PaintingPastelPrincess on June 10, 2009, 10:28:53 AM
My dad says this all the time.  He'll also respond with "Yes, someone to pay the bill," if asked if he needs anything else, and will say "Well, I guess it's free!" if something doesn't ring up right.  (I hate, hate, HATE, that last one after hearing it 30 times a day everyday working retail!)

He never expects someone else to pay for his stuff, to bring someone to pay his bill, or to get anything for free.  He is trying to make light of the situation, but he is not being a special snowflake, I promise.  OP, I'm sorry you weren't in the mood for it, and I do understand that the "joke" isn't particularly funny, but it's also not an SS situation.
Title: Re: Yeah, sure I'll put your crap on my Visa!
Post by: Azrail on June 10, 2009, 10:57:08 AM
Just a joke in this case. If he had stomped his foot and followed you to your car whining 'Why won't you pay for my things?! I'm speeeshuuuuulll...' then you would have had a snowflake on your hands.
Title: Re: Yeah, sure I'll put your crap on my Visa!
Post by: M-theory on June 10, 2009, 11:25:55 AM
Okay.  So I guess I go to ehell for this one.  I just don't see why someone would approach me that way if I was clearly in a bad mood. 

I just don't know how anyone would know you were clearly in a bad mood by just observing you check out your items?

Indeed. How is someone supposed to tell that you're in a bad mood unless you have the little thundercloud over your head? In fact, I'm sure if the parallel to this was posted ("I tried to make a joke with a random person at the store today, but she was in a bad mood!"), there would be people calling the OP on their interesting assumption. "Maybe she comes from a family of leeches/Maybe your tone came across as serious/Maybe she really wants to but her bank account is already in overdraft."
Title: Re: Yeah, sure I'll put your crap on my Visa!
Post by: snowball's chance on June 10, 2009, 11:26:35 AM
Okay.  So I guess I go to ehell for this one.  I just don't see why someone would approach me that way if I was clearly in a bad mood. 

I just don't know how anyone would know you were clearly in a bad mood by just observing you check out your items?

Or even if you appeared to be annoyed, perhaps he thought the joke would make you smile?  

I am like you, OP, if I am having a rotten day, that kind of joke would annoy me, too, just because I wouldn't be in the mood for it.  But I wouldn't assume the joker is a SS, the joke is serious, or that no one has the right to make a joke because I'm ready to scream.  I'd probably just respond to the joker with a tight-lipped smile and leave it at that.
Title: Re: Yeah, sure I'll put your crap on my Visa!
Post by: Ms. Megan on June 10, 2009, 04:57:18 PM
Honestly, and maybe it's because I work retail, but it drives me crazy to hear people say things like that.
"You can pay for mine too- ha ha!"
or
"You have enough money; you buy this time!" "If it doesn't scan, it's free!" And so on ad nauseam.
Any jokes about money like that annoy me, but I just play along. But it's just kidding around and the person certainly meant no harm. Why get so worked up over it?
Title: Re: Yeah, sure I'll put your crap on my Visa!
Post by: little bird on June 11, 2009, 10:25:42 AM
Yeah, I really don't think he was deserving of the icy glare of death.  Admittedly, those types of jokes irritate me as well, probably from working retail.  I simply don't think they're funny, even when I'm in a good mood.  I do find that it's better to go with a tired-looking smile that doesn't reach the eyes. 
Title: Re: Yeah, sure I'll put your crap on my Visa!
Post by: JoieGirl7 on June 11, 2009, 11:30:34 AM
Okay.  So I guess I go to ehell for this one.  I just don't see why someone would approach me that way if I was clearly in a bad mood. 

The person didn't "approach" you--they were in line behind you and they made a very light joke.  No one was expecting you to pay for their "crap."  Your bad mood doesn't excuse your rudeness to the person in back of you in line.

You are not obligated to laugh at their joke, but what they said certainly didn't merit an icy glare.
Title: Re: Yeah, sure I'll put your crap on my Visa!
Post by: rhirhi on June 12, 2009, 10:08:39 AM
Honestly, and maybe it's because I work retail, but it drives me crazy to hear people say things like that.
"You can pay for mine too- ha ha!"
or
"You have enough money; you buy this time!" "If it doesn't scan, it's free!" And so on ad nauseam.
Any jokes about money like that annoy me, but I just play along. But it's just kidding around and the person certainly meant no harm. Why get so worked up over it?


I've started catching myself before I say that, I've heard that all cashiers just get so annoyed hearing it all day. I try to cut back, some times it works. Not always, though...sorry cashiers out there!
Title: Re: Yeah, sure I'll put your crap on my Visa!
Post by: AFwife_3boys on June 12, 2009, 10:12:01 AM
Wow, guess I've been rude. I've jokingly said this. I don't see where he was assuming you had enough to pay or even expected you to. In my humble opinion, the icy glare of death was overkill. Your choice to use silence if you found it offensive was enough.

POD to this!

ETA - How is someone supposed to realize you are in a bad mood simply from watching you check-out? I'm not that psychic and I highly doubt anyone else is either.

In addition - I'M slightly offended that you assume that what they are buying was "crap".....that's just rude in my opinion!
Title: Re: Yeah, sure I'll put your crap on my Visa!
Post by: PaintingPastelPrincess on June 12, 2009, 10:49:06 AM
Honestly, and maybe it's because I work retail, but it drives me crazy to hear people say things like that.
"You can pay for mine too- ha ha!"
or
"You have enough money; you buy this time!" "If it doesn't scan, it's free!" And so on ad nauseam.
Any jokes about money like that annoy me, but I just play along. But it's just kidding around and the person certainly meant no harm. Why get so worked up over it?


I've started catching myself before I say that, I've heard that all cashiers just get so annoyed hearing it all day. I try to cut back, some times it works. Not always, though...sorry cashiers out there!

Don't beat yourself up over it :) When I was a cashier, I would have much rather had a friendly customer using a joke I'd already heard 100 times that day, than a rude, SS customer.  Yes, it gets old (quickly), but there's far worse things.

For example, don't pay entirely in pennies.  And especially, don't send your young child through the line to buy a $25 item in small change (dimes and lower) to teach them how to save/pay for themselves.  Especially if you're not going to roll the money at home OR help them count it at the register. 
Title: Re: Yeah, sure I'll put your crap on my Visa!
Post by: ginkobil on July 17, 2009, 11:55:57 AM
I'm sure it was a joke. But one that didn't need to be made, as it wasn't funny.

I think some people just make comments like this to lighten the mood--maybe she saw that the OP was not in a good mood and was trying to get a little laugh. I think it's totally harmless.