Etiquette Hell

General Etiquette => Etiquette Hell Classics => Topic started by: Asharah on June 20, 2009, 09:26:07 PM

Title: Classic Wicked Witches: Toxic MOB & Walmart
Post by: Asharah on June 20, 2009, 09:26:07 PM
When I was in high school, I was best friends with two girls, we'll call them "Star" and "Lynn."  Star was killed by a drunk driver, leaving Lynn and me incredibly sad.  A few years later, Lynn and her boyfriend, "Tom," decided to get married.  Lynn called me up and asked me to be the MOH and only bridesmaid, as Star was no longer with us.  I agreed, and was touched by her thoughtfulness, since I had just enrolled in college that year and had not had much time to talk to her.  Lynn was as far from a Bridezilla as was possible, and I was more than happy to get a dress and plan a shower for her.  Since I was in college, my mother graciously agreed to let me use her house for the shower.  I tried to call Lynn's mother to see if she wanted to help or had any requests, but she never answered her phone, not even to RSVP to the shower.

The day of the shower came, and I cut sandwiches, mixed fruit salad, and made punch.  My mom (who is a great person, and could plan a party in a hurricane if need be) helped with the decorations and food prep.  Just as a finished slicing the fruit salad, I had to dash to the bathroom.  I thought perhaps it was nerves that made me queasy, but I threw up, and felt much better.  I told my mother that perhaps it might be better if I switched to decorations and she finished up the food prep from a health standpoint.  At this point, everything becomes rather surreal to me, since it rapidly became obvious that I was suffering from some form of a stomach virus; every twenty minutes or so, I had to dash off to the bathroom.  Now, I was for sure not going to bother Lynn with this, as it was her shower, but I cringed inside, knowing how odd it must look for the MOH to be continually excusing herself (a few times, during the recording of gifts.)  Lynn was never anything less that composed, however, and the shower was more or less a success; in fact, many of her older relatives couldn't believe that I had planned it.  The less part of the shower was Lynn's mother.  Her mom showed up late to the shower, didn't bring a present for her own daughter, and proceeded to loudly tell Lynn about how she wasn't sure if she would be able to take off work for the wedding.  Asharah's comment: At Walmart? She can't find somebody to take over her shift for ONE DAY?  After thinking about it some, she allowed as how she might make it, but she'd probably be wearing her work clothes still.  Never once did she offer congratulations to her daughter or ask a single question about how Lynn was holding up.  At some point, in between stomach episodes, I believe I had to hold my own mother back from ejecting Lynn's  mother from the party.  Although Lynn didn't show it, you could see that her mom's callousness was hurtful to her.

I recovered from the stomach virus in about a week, during which I stayed at my parent's house, and my mom and I couldn't stop talking about Lynn's mother.  This behavior horrified my mom on a very deep level, and she and I told my father about it.  About a month later was the wedding, to which my whole family was invited.  It was a lovely, small wedding and Lynn and Tom were obviously very happy.  Her mother did make it to the wedding, and she was indeed in her work clothes.  This wouldn't be so bad, except for the fact that she didn't even bother to remove her Wal-Mart smock.  I could understand (barely) that maybe she wouldn't have time to change out of her work clothes, but all she had to do was take of the smock and just wear the shirt she had on underneath. Asharah's comment: Was she getting paid extra for drumming up business?  During the reception, the best part came when my father told Mom and me that he'd met Lynn's mother, and she seem really nice and very interested in Bri.  My mom asked him who he was talking about, and he pointed to "Janet" who was a lovely woman who'd been sitting at our table, dressed in a peach suit.   Mom and I sort of giggled as we told him that that was Lynn's STEP-mother, who'd done twice as much for this wedding as Lynn's biological mother.  Dad looked a bit nonplussed and asked who Lynn's mother WAS then.  As we pointed out the lady in the Wal-Mart smock, you could see the disbelief in  my father's eyes.  Fortunately this story has a happy ending, Lynn and Tom are still married, and they remain good friends of mine.  She doesn't see her mother very much, and I'm pretty sure everyone is happier that was.  To this day, however, if you want to see my mother go into a fit of apoplectic rage, all you have to do is mention Lynn's mom in her presence.

WickedWitches1108-05

Asharah's comment: Well, I think all Lynn's mother did was make herself look bad with her behavior!
Title: Re: Classic Wicked Witches: Toxic MOB & Walmart
Post by: Mrs. Eclipse on June 21, 2009, 05:34:49 PM
*Psst* Hey, Storyteller's Mom, guess what: Lynn's mom.

Um. Moving on.

Does she think she's making a point? It almost seems like a family member's seething protest, to show disrespect to the wedding. I've heard stories like that elsewhere on the site. Someone hates the venue/rules/couple and shows up in an incredibly disrespectful manner because of it. Only, I'm not sure what Lynn's Mom would be protesting. Maybe she's just insane.

Also, I lol'd at the mom/stepmom mixup.
Title: Re: Classic Wicked Witches: Toxic MOB & Walmart
Post by: Twik on June 21, 2009, 06:27:26 PM
At a guess, I wonder if her mother thought Lynn was "putting on airs". Or, possibly, since the LW mentions a well-dressed stepmother, Mom was trying to make a statement - "My husband left me for this other woman, and I have to slave away at WalMart to support myself." Clearly, leaving the smock on would be a deliberate action - I can't imagine anyone just forgetting to take it off.
Title: Re: Classic Wicked Witches: Toxic MOB & Walmart
Post by: blue2000 on June 22, 2009, 07:42:04 AM
Definitely deliberate. I think the whole thing was done on purpose.

Lynn's mother could have brought a nice outfit along to work, and taken five minutes to change. She could have come straight to the wedding and changed in the bathroom. Or she could have worn a fancy blouse under her smock, and switched the smock for a nice jacket when she got there. It might take a lot of time to look really ultra-fancy, but it doesn't take a lot of time and effort to look presentable. And she chose to look bad. I can't help but wonder what she thought she was going to accomplish with this.
Title: Re: Classic Wicked Witches: Toxic MOB & Walmart
Post by: Shortcake on June 22, 2009, 12:36:38 PM
At a guess, I wonder if her mother thought Lynn was "putting on airs". Or, possibly, since the LW mentions a well-dressed stepmother, Mom was trying to make a statement - "My husband left me for this other woman, and I have to slave away at WalMart to support myself." Clearly, leaving the smock on would be a deliberate action - I can't imagine anyone just forgetting to take it off.

I think she intentionally left it on for one of these 2 reasons.
Title: Re: Classic Wicked Witches: Toxic MOB & Walmart
Post by: artk2002 on June 22, 2009, 06:42:52 PM
Definitely deliberate. I think the whole thing was done on purpose.

Lynn's mother could have brought a nice outfit along to work, and taken five minutes to change. She could have come straight to the wedding and changed in the bathroom. Or she could have worn a fancy blouse under her smock, and switched the smock for a nice jacket when she got there. It might take a lot of time to look really ultra-fancy, but it doesn't take a lot of time and effort to look presentable. And she chose to look bad. I can't help but wonder what she thought she was going to accomplish with this.

Of course it was deliberate.  She announced that she would do this.  From the OP, talking about the shower:

Quote
After thinking about it some, she allowed as how she might make it, but she'd probably be wearing her work clothes still.

I was reading an article elsewhere that said that Wal*Mart's dress policy is fairly lax, so that Lynn could have worn fairly nice clothes under her smock -- no need to even change.  It's clear that , for whatever reason, she didn't approve of the marriage/wedding and she made her feelings known.  Of course, she made herself look ridiculous in the process, but reasoning and logic don't apply to people like her.
Title: Re: Classic Wicked Witches: Toxic MOB & Walmart
Post by: Asharah on June 22, 2009, 07:13:08 PM
Well, if Lynn's kids ever wonder why Lynn doesn't get along with Grandma, she can always just pull out the family shots from the wedding and show them!  ;D
Seriously, I hope she had the photographer get some candid shots of her Mom at the reception in her Walmart smock, surrounded by all the well-dressed people, just so she can send them to Mom and show her what a fool she made of herself with her "statement"!
Title: Re: Classic Wicked Witches: Toxic MOB & Walmart
Post by: Mina on July 18, 2009, 12:11:07 AM
I don't see how the Star bit, or the part about the storyteller and her mom kindly preparing for and throwing Lynn a bridal shower, is relevant to the story.

However, if we go from what the storyteller's told us, the rude behavior Lynn's mom exhibited at Lynn's shower, as well as Lynn's mom's lack of participation and rude behavior at the wedding, might suggest that Lynn's mom was mad at any combination of:  Lynn, Lynn's husband, Lynn and her husband as couple, Lynn's dad, Lynn's stepmom, and/or the world in general.
Title: Re: Classic Wicked Witches: Toxic MOB & Walmart
Post by: pierrotlunaire0 on July 26, 2009, 01:20:26 PM
At a guess, I wonder if her mother thought Lynn was "putting on airs". Or, possibly, since the LW mentions a well-dressed stepmother, Mom was trying to make a statement - "My husband left me for this other woman, and I have to slave away at WalMart to support myself." Clearly, leaving the smock on would be a deliberate action - I can't imagine anyone just forgetting to take it off.

I think she intentionally left it on for one of these 2 reasons.

Probably the second one.
Title: Re: Classic Wicked Witches: Toxic MOB & Walmart
Post by: Asharah on July 30, 2009, 02:14:11 PM
Definitely deliberate. I think the whole thing was done on purpose.

Lynn's mother could have brought a nice outfit along to work, and taken five minutes to change. She could have come straight to the wedding and changed in the bathroom. Or she could have worn a fancy blouse under her smock, and switched the smock for a nice jacket when she got there. It might take a lot of time to look really ultra-fancy, but it doesn't take a lot of time and effort to look presentable. And she chose to look bad. I can't help but wonder what she thought she was going to accomplish with this.
I still don't believe that she couldn't have taken the day off to attend her daughter's wedding if she really wanted to.
Title: Re: Classic Wicked Witches: Toxic MOB & Walmart
Post by: Doll Fiend on November 30, 2010, 12:56:03 PM
As a former employee of Walmart I must say that it would be ridiculously easy to get one day off with the advance notice the Mother got. And even if she could not get the day off, she could of worn nicer clothes under her smock or changed. The Mother has no excuse.

I am glad to see though that the happy couple moved on and enjoyed a happy life.
Title: Re: Classic Wicked Witches: Toxic MOB & Walmart
Post by: Kittymama on November 30, 2010, 03:43:37 PM
I'm kind of horrified that she fed them food that she had prepared when she obviously had a stomach virus.  :( Although it sounds like nobody else got sick, so I guess it turned out okay. Still...
Title: Re: Classic Wicked Witches: Toxic MOB & Walmart
Post by: djinnidjream on December 01, 2010, 12:16:16 PM
As a former employee of Walmart I must say that it would be ridiculously easy to get one day off with the advance notice the Mother got. And even if she could not get the day off, she could of worn nicer clothes under her smock or changed. The Mother has no excuse.

I am glad to see though that the happy couple moved on and enjoyed a happy life.

Some people are just like that.  We have a cousin who shows up to every family reunion in her work uniform having just gotten off work.  You'd think she would have sent some clothes along with her family so she could change when she got there- but nope.  Parades around the rest of the day in the waitress uniform.  Never understood it myself...
Title: Re: Classic Wicked Witches: Toxic MOB & Walmart
Post by: Maggie on December 01, 2010, 12:23:02 PM
Well I work at Walmart and went to my son's wedding from work.  In my defense though, I found out about the wedding the night before and the wedding was at the courthouse.  We don't wear the smocks.  We wear khaki pants and a navy shirt.  I did wear work clothes but I changed my shoes and wore a dressier navy top than I would usually wear.  I'm sorry if anyone thinks that wasn't appropriate but I do think the situation was actually a lot different in that I had less than 12 hours notice. 
Title: Re: Classic Wicked Witches: Toxic MOB & Walmart
Post by: PeasNCues on December 01, 2010, 12:29:16 PM
I'm kind of horrified that she fed them food that she had prepared when she obviously had a stomach virus.  :( Although it sounds like nobody else got sick, so I guess it turned out okay. Still...
I'm glad I'm not the only one stuck there. Not only about the food, but about not excusing herself from the party once it became clear she was actually ill. I mean, I understand she planned it and it would really suck for her not to be there, but I really don't think exposing people to your illness while you duck out to throw up every once in a while is the answer.
Title: Re: Classic Wicked Witches: Toxic MOB & Walmart
Post by: LEMon on December 01, 2010, 05:59:54 PM
Well I work at Walmart and went to my son's wedding from work.  In my defense though, I found out about the wedding the night before and the wedding was at the courthouse.  We don't wear the smocks.  We wear khaki pants and a navy shirt.  I did wear work clothes but I changed my shoes and wore a dressier navy top than I would usually wear.  I'm sorry if anyone thinks that wasn't appropriate but I do think the situation was actually a lot different in that I had less than 12 hours notice. 
You were fine.  This MOB made the difference clear by not taking time off when she had lots of notice, not making any effort to improve her outfit by removing the smock.  With short notice, you did all you could do and were there.
Title: Re: Classic Wicked Witches: Toxic MOB & Walmart
Post by: NOVA Lady on December 01, 2010, 06:21:04 PM
I'm kind of horrified that she fed them food that she had prepared when she obviously had a stomach virus.  :( Although it sounds like nobody else got sick, so I guess it turned out okay. Still...
I'm glad I'm not the only one stuck there. Not only about the food, but about not excusing herself from the party once it became clear she was actually ill. I mean, I understand she planned it and it would really suck for her not to be there, but I really don't think exposing people to your illness while you duck out to throw up every once in a while is the answer.

Yes, this. I would absolutely NOT want to eat any food prepared by someone throwing up with a stomach virus either!
Title: Re: Classic Wicked Witches: Toxic MOB & Walmart
Post by: Maggie on December 01, 2010, 06:33:02 PM
Well I work at Walmart and went to my son's wedding from work.  In my defense though, I found out about the wedding the night before and the wedding was at the courthouse.  We don't wear the smocks.  We wear khaki pants and a navy shirt.  I did wear work clothes but I changed my shoes and wore a dressier navy top than I would usually wear.  I'm sorry if anyone thinks that wasn't appropriate but I do think the situation was actually a lot different in that I had less than 12 hours notice. 
You were fine.  This MOB made the difference clear by not taking time off when she had lots of notice, not making any effort to improve her outfit by removing the smock.  With short notice, you did all you could do and were there.

Thanks!  When I was sitting here reading that I thought wow I did almost the same thing but really with no notice I did the best I could do.
Title: Re: Classic Wicked Witches: Toxic MOB & Walmart
Post by: Twik on December 02, 2010, 12:08:47 PM
Well I work at Walmart and went to my son's wedding from work.  In my defense though, I found out about the wedding the night before and the wedding was at the courthouse.  We don't wear the smocks.  We wear khaki pants and a navy shirt.  I did wear work clothes but I changed my shoes and wore a dressier navy top than I would usually wear.  I'm sorry if anyone thinks that wasn't appropriate but I do think the situation was actually a lot different in that I had less than 12 hours notice. 

I think that's fine, and the situation makes it all the more reasonable. The main thing is, you didn't deliberately show up looking like you were going to be checking out the rest of the guests, when there was plenty of time to change into something more festive.
Title: Re: Classic Wicked Witches: Toxic MOB & Walmart
Post by: NutMeg on December 08, 2010, 04:27:28 PM
Well I work at Walmart and went to my son's wedding from work.  In my defense though, I found out about the wedding the night before and the wedding was at the courthouse.  We don't wear the smocks.  We wear khaki pants and a navy shirt.  I did wear work clothes but I changed my shoes and wore a dressier navy top than I would usually wear.  I'm sorry if anyone thinks that wasn't appropriate but I do think the situation was actually a lot different in that I had less than 12 hours notice. 
You were fine.  This MOB made the difference clear by not taking time off when she had lots of notice, not making any effort to improve her outfit by removing the smock.  With short notice, you did all you could do and were there.
Thanks!  When I was sitting here reading that I thought wow I did almost the same thing but really with no notice I did the best I could do.

It's not even remotely the same thing. For one, if it was important to your son to have a formal wedding he would have done things very differently.
Title: Re: Classic Wicked Witches: Toxic MOB & Walmart
Post by: Iris on January 02, 2011, 06:57:31 PM
I'm kind of horrified that she fed them food that she had prepared when she obviously had a stomach virus.  :( Although it sounds like nobody else got sick, so I guess it turned out okay. Still...
I'm glad I'm not the only one stuck there. Not only about the food, but about not excusing herself from the party once it became clear she was actually ill. I mean, I understand she planned it and it would really suck for her not to be there, but I really don't think exposing people to your illness while you duck out to throw up every once in a while is the answer.

Yes, this. I would absolutely NOT want to eat any food prepared by someone throwing up with a stomach virus either!

I admit I wouldn't either, just for the squickiness factor, but...

When DD1 was a very young baby I contracted a bad stomach flu. She was still exclusively breatfed and of course you are in close contact with a baby all the time. I was fine, pretty much, between bathroom trips so could care for her but was terrified because gastro bugs can be very serious in babies. So I rang the kids health advisory line at the first sign of any symptoms and they told me that stomach bugs cannot be transmitted like a cold, i.e. airborne but have to be by direct contact and that if I wash my hands scrupulously after every trip it was not transmissable. I did (including scrubbing with a nail brush) and she didn't contract the virus at all.

So since the OP stopped food preparation at first symptoms and as long as she didn't touch anything at all with dirty hands it would probably have been ok from a healthcare perspective.
Title: Re: Classic Wicked Witches: Toxic MOB & Walmart
Post by: Quiltin Nana on February 16, 2011, 12:16:48 PM
I had to chuckle about the Walmart smock.  A number of years ago, I belonged to a bowling league.  Another bowler on this same league "B" had a daughter getting married, "P".  P was an older bride (approx late 30's) and didn't want a super fancy wedding.  I think they did get married in a church but it was a very small affair with a small reception afterwards.  Anyway B was not very happy about P getting married at all and she wasn't even sure if she would even attend the wedding.  I really don't know the reasons, just that she grumbled about what did P want to even get married for at her age. 

After the wedding day, the next week we were at the bowling league, I asked B how the wedding went.  She was much happier at this point and said that she did go and she even had pictures.  I was very happy that she had gone.  As my fellow teammates and I looked at the snapshots we were all shocked to see that B wore her bowling clothes to the wedding.  Now they weren't screen printed or anything, but they were the same navy pants and navy shirt that she wore every single week to bowling.  I have seen B out at the store or about and she doesn't always wear those clothes, just usually to bowling.  We all just bit our lips, smiled and told her how happy the bride looked. 

I just can't imagine not making any type of effort to look nice for my daughter's wedding.  Even if I had to go straight from work, I would have taken some kind of dressier clothes with me to work that day and change after my shift.  Especially since this mother in this story had lots of notice of when the wedding would occur.