Etiquette Hell

General Etiquette => Etiquette Hell Classics => Topic started by: ladycrim on September 17, 2009, 05:08:02 PM

Title: Neighbors: Moving 'Pigpen'
Post by: ladycrim on September 17, 2009, 05:08:02 PM
A few years ago a friend of mine "Pigpen" bought a house. She has amazing luck and a tendency to rely heavily on the goodwill of others. (Often acting like it's her due and only giving perfunctory thank yous.) So in her typical, 'friends are there to do things for you' manner we were asked to help her move and prepare her house for being moved. This meant long hours painting, running to the paint store, cleaning, refurbishing, etc. My boyfriend and I did the lion share of this work, with her and other friends of MINE joining in every so often.

Now Pigpen is a big girl and not known for being overly clean or active. Or, as she would put it, her physical inability to be active. She "couldn't" lift boxes, or stand for long, or walk for long or anything. (Amazing how quickly she can lift when it's free though). So when we agreed to move her we knew that we would be doing all the lifting and carrying. All I asked was that she was packed and that she clean up after her animals. (She lets them do their business in her house.) LC: Ew.

Since she was trying to save money (we were all pretty poor, but getting by) she didn't rent a truck. But she was only moving a short distance so we all brought trucks, cars, station wagons and figured we would hop it over.

The day of the move we arrive with empty cars and ready to go. We enter the old house and find it FILTHY. Nothing was packed, there didn't seem to even be any boxes, the kitchen was covered in dirty dishes and worst of she hadn't even cleaned up the animals. LC: I honestly would have left at that point, and told Pigpen to call me when she was all packed and cleaned like she said she would be. Feces were everywhere, the place smelled of urine, when you touched something like the couch it was warm and didn't spring back immediately. I even found some used feminine products while packing! Gross!! LC: EWWWWW!!!!!!!!!  :-X  I take back my previous statement; I would have left and never gone back!

Friends I had pressured to come help the day go faster were horrified, as was I! Thinking quickly I told the others to back the cars into easy loading position and I dove in. LC: Brave gal! I pulled outside anything that didn't need to be packed or came essentially pre-packed. Chest of drawers just had their drawers removed with stuff in it and were put in the car, coffee tables, couches, whatever. Since furniture is big I was able to fill up the vehicles without needing to really pack anything - or have anyone else enter. I sent them to the clean house to unpack and took advantage of that time to gear of for wave two.

I spent that afternoon loading the dishwasher while putting stuff outside for the movers. Mind you she didn't get any boxes, so I used what I found lying around and then got creative. Since she wasn't packed we moved everything we could "as is". For instance we unhooked all the VCRs etc, but moved the entertainment unit with them still in it! I was careful to make sure everything survived the move, but since it was in a cushy car for a few miles and then in it's new home, we didn't really unpack/repack much.

Since we had already been at her new place painting and all we had a decent idea where we wanted things and the movers put the furniture into their new places. Boxes we unpacked so we could reuse them. While I'm sure everything wasn't in the perfect place the lion share was in place or close proximity.

Still she was appalled that we hadn't cleared the whole weekend. She thought she didn't need many boxes since we were going to move a room at a time fully setting it up (including hanging pictures) before we moved the next one - no matter how long it took! She knew were we were leaving town the next day!!! I told her we were leaving and we had one day to help. Whatever we didn't do that day she did on her own. Grudgingly she "allowed" us to move everything, but felt "betrayed" by this.  LC: Ungrateful bacon-fed knave!

In about 4-5 moves everything clears out. The movers (who only entered for the couch, the desk, and the bed; later I was told they were very grateful that I queued everything outside) were amazed at my transformation. In an effort to not have the landlord utterly sue her (a lost cause considering how trashed this place was) I cleaned and vacuumed, it was all packed and the last of the dishes were cleaned and being placed in a reused box yet again. While I was doing all this what was Pigpen doing? Reading!! Every now and then she packed a box but she spent almost the whole day reading. LC: I would have been hard-pressed not to whap her over the head with the book and make her get some actual work done.

When she went over to her new, almost entirely unpacked house she was unhappy since the last load wasn't unpacked, pictures weren't hung, and everything wasn't just so. She cried wondering how she could be expected to do all this work alone! LC: Poor little puddin'head!

It was late though, and we were exhausted and gross. And grossed out! LC: I bet they were never offered food or beverages, either.

To top the cake, the next day however I took my car to jiffy lube before we hit the road. It was taking longer than they said it would and I had to run into work before leaving. I asked Pigpen if I could borrow her car since mine was still in the shop and I just needed to go to work and right back (a few miles). I had driven her car before.

After using my car and all my friends cars back and forth THE DAY BEFORE and despite that I entirely spearheaded moving her and cleaning her old place while she read she said to me, and I quote: "I guess that's okay but I'm going to have to charge you gas money."  LC: "Pigpen, I think the fact that I saved you hundreds of dollars yesterday by moving your entire house for you is payment enough, don't you?"

I borrowed someone else's car. To this day she wonders why our friendship is strained. LC: I wonder why there is still a friendship at all! I know she was short on money, but next time she'll be more broke when she's forced to hire movers to pack and move her.

But with her luck she'll have a new batch of friends to do it, or her daddy will hire them. Apparently she never was sued by the landlord even though the entire house really was ruined.

Amazing.

Neighbors1120-04

--------------------

The only reason I can think of for why the LW went through with the moving was that she gave her word and isn't one to back out on it.  Don't get me wrong, that's a very good quality to have, but ... wow.  As soon as I saw all the feces, I'd have hightailed it fast.
Title: Re: Neighbors: Moving 'Pigpen'
Post by: DottyG on September 17, 2009, 05:15:43 PM
Exactly what kind of gun was Pigpen holding to the OP's head to get her to do all this?  I'm sorry, but that went way beyond the call of duty.  And, the OP should have not done any of it.

Being assertive and standing up for yourself is not rude.  The OP should have done it.

Title: Re: Neighbors: Moving 'Pigpen'
Post by: WesternWhiteWolf on September 17, 2009, 11:23:15 PM
Even if she gave her word to do this, she should have never gone through with it. How could she have possibly worked with such a health hazard?

Also, why didn't she read the riot act to Pigpen? Even if I wasn't working in a feces-and-urine-covered environment, I'd be pretty ticked if the mover didn't even help me help them. "Pigpen, we're helping you move out of this place. You should be able to pitch in and help us get you out of here." And if that didn't work, "Pigpen, you didn't hire me, I volunteered to help you. These are your belongings, and out of our kindness, we're trying to relocate it to your new place, but we need your help. Either you help us move YOUR stuff out, or you can move it all yourself."

But, you'd never see me in that environment. Yikes.
Title: Re: Neighbors: Moving 'Pigpen'
Post by: HonorH on September 18, 2009, 07:07:03 AM
The moment Pigpen breached the agreement, the LW should've backed out.  Seriously, there's no way I'd have done all that, even for a friend.  "Friend" for a given value of friendship, of course--it sounds one-sided as EHell.  I helped my best friend move.  She was extremely appreciative of all my help and bought pizza for all the helpers.  Also, she was organized and clean.  And had rented a truck.  That's what a friend does when asking for a big favor.

The LW needed to stand up and get the word "Welcome!" off her front.
Title: Re: Neighbors: Moving 'Pigpen'
Post by: Drunken Housewife on September 19, 2009, 06:59:30 PM
The LW should have left.  Pigpen is not going to learn if people are doormats for her.

In my younger days, I had friends help me move, and I helped people move, and you always have everything boxed already, don't expect them to clean, and you get pizza/beer/sodas or other food for them to thank them (pizza seems to be the traditional thank you food).  You thank them effusively, and you also don't complain if they break something (which happened when friends move me... some things got broken, but when someone is doing free manual labor for you, you can't complain). 
Title: Re: Neighbors: Moving 'Pigpen'
Post by: Nurvingiel on September 19, 2009, 08:34:24 PM
I read exactly 1.5 paragraphs before I thought, "Not another doormat! I can't take it!"

I have a lot of sympathy for doormats. I feel like most doormats are taught from an early age not to stand up for themselves. I can only imagine how hard this is to overcome.

However, I still have a hard time reading stories like this. They make me want to bang my head against a brick wall.
Title: Re: Neighbors: Moving 'Pigpen'
Post by: Rosgrana on September 19, 2009, 09:27:36 PM
Quote
However, I still have a hard time reading stories like this. They make me want to bang my head against a brick wall.

You are a better person than I, then. They make me want to bang someone else's head against a brick wall!
Title: Re: Neighbors: Moving 'Pigpen'
Post by: MrsJWine on September 19, 2009, 10:40:31 PM
I read exactly 1.5 paragraphs before I thought, "Not another doormat! I can't take it!"

I have a lot of sympathy for doormats. I feel like most doormats are taught from an early age not to stand up for themselves. I can only imagine how hard this is to overcome.

However, I still have a hard time reading stories like this. They make me want to bang my head against a brick wall.

Ugh.  Me too.

No way I'd set foot in a house full of animal feces.  The house we bought was in bad condition in that respect, but the bulk of the trash-out had been done by our realtor.  There was still a lot of nasty work to be done, but there were no, uh, solids.

Honestly--and this may sound very shallow--I don't think I could be friends with someone who was so unclean (well, if it was due only to laziness, not some mental problem).  Smells really, really get to me, and when your house is that filthy with pet waste, the smell lingers in your hair and clothing.  Even if she found a way to get rid of the smell when she was out of the house, I'd never be able to go visit her in her home.  If I knew she had some kind of problem that contributed to the filth, I'd try to help her, but in this case it just sounds like extreme laziness.
Title: Re: Neighbors: Moving 'Pigpen'
Post by: Shea on September 20, 2009, 03:59:04 PM

Honestly--and this may sound very shallow--I don't think I could be friends with someone who was so unclean (well, if it was due only to laziness, not some mental problem).  Smells really, really get to me, and when your house is that filthy with pet waste, the smell lingers in your hair and clothing.  Even if she found a way to get rid of the smell when she was out of the house, I'd never be able to go visit her in her home.  If I knew she had some kind of problem that contributed to the filth, I'd try to help her, but in this case it just sounds like extreme laziness.

I just can't imagine that a house could get to the point described in the OP without the homeowner/dweller being mentally ill. My grandmother's house was pretty much exactly as the house described in the OP (with the addition of massive amounts of old papers, magazines, plastic bags etc., as well as rat feces) but she was mentally ill. I can see lots of clutter and unwashed dishes and laundry, but animal waste...I can't see a sane person letting that happen. But I suppose it could.
Title: Re: Neighbors: Moving 'Pigpen'
Post by: sammycat on September 20, 2009, 05:52:31 PM
I honestly don't have much sympathy for the story writer.  At any point, she could, and should, have just said that she wasn't going to do this anymore and walked away.  Being a doormat and a martyr doesn't endear her to me at all.  At the absolute very least she should have told Pigpen to stop reading and start working. 
Title: Re: Neighbors: Moving 'Pigpen'
Post by: Ticia on September 20, 2009, 08:01:10 PM
An aquantaince of mine recently had to move because she and her soon to be ex husband hadn't paid their mortgage in months. Their house was a mess and he had moved out already. She expected the members of her church to pack and move everything for her. She knew she was being forclosed on for months and didn't pack a single box. When they showed up the day the move was supposed to happen and saw that absolutely nothing had been done, they refused to do it. And she was upset because that's what they were supposed to do, don't you know!

Honestly, this woman might be Pigpen herself. It sounds just like her, actually.
Title: Re: Neighbors: Moving 'Pigpen'
Post by: ladycrim on September 21, 2009, 10:49:50 AM
An aquantaince of mine recently had to move because she and her soon to be ex husband hadn't paid their mortgage in months. Their house was a mess and he had moved out already. She expected the members of her church to pack and move everything for her. She knew she was being forclosed on for months and didn't pack a single box. When they showed up the day the move was supposed to happen and saw that absolutely nothing had been done, they refused to do it. And she was upset because that's what they were supposed to do, don't you know!

Honestly, this woman might be Pigpen herself. It sounds just like her, actually.

I'm glad her church members refused!  Being a "Good Christian" (or any religion) doesn't mean getting trampled on.
Title: Re: Neighbors: Moving 'Pigpen'
Post by: Cyradis on September 21, 2009, 02:20:13 PM
I honestly don't have much sympathy for the story writer.  At any point, she could, and should, have just said that she wasn't going to do this anymore and walked away.  Being a doormat and a martyr doesn't endear her to me at all.  At the absolute very least she should have told Pigpen to stop reading and start working. 

I agree. I can't imagine working hard on someone else's behalf while they lounge and read. I often wonder how people like Pigpen become that entitled. It boggles the mind!
Title: Re: Neighbors: Moving 'Pigpen'
Post by: Sara Crewe on September 21, 2009, 03:19:11 PM
I will never understand why some people seem to think that wearing a sign saying 'wipe feet here' means being a good friend.  You'd be doing that person more of a favour to teach them what is and isn't acceptable behaviour in a friendship.

It honestly does sound to me as though there may be some mental health issues/learning difficulties here which means Pigpen needs to be told how to treat people.  If that's not the case, I think it's even more important the OP put her foot down as there is no way a normal person wouldn't know she was taking advantage.
Title: Re: Neighbors: Moving 'Pigpen'
Post by: WesternWhiteWolf on September 21, 2009, 11:55:14 PM
I read exactly 1.5 paragraphs before I thought, "Not another doormat! I can't take it!"

I have a lot of sympathy for doormats. I feel like most doormats are taught from an early age not to stand up for themselves. I can only imagine how hard this is to overcome.

However, I still have a hard time reading stories like this. They make me want to bang my head against a brick wall.

Ugh.  Me too.

No way I'd set foot in a house full of animal feces.  The house we bought was in bad condition in that respect, but the bulk of the trash-out had been done by our realtor.  There was still a lot of nasty work to be done, but there were no, uh, solids.

Honestly--and this may sound very shallow--I don't think I could be friends with someone who was so unclean (well, if it was due only to laziness, not some mental problem).  Smells really, really get to me, and when your house is that filthy with pet waste, the smell lingers in your hair and clothing.  Even if she found a way to get rid of the smell when she was out of the house, I'd never be able to go visit her in her home.  If I knew she had some kind of problem that contributed to the filth, I'd try to help her, but in this case it just sounds like extreme laziness.

You know, I don't blame you. I could be friends with someone who had an extremely cluttered house, but if it was full of feces or rotting food, I wouldn't. I don't even want to fathom the sort of things that they (and I) could come down with in such an environment.
Title: Re: Neighbors: Moving 'Pigpen'
Post by: Clara Bow on September 22, 2009, 06:28:07 PM
I'm sorry, there is no way on this earth I would have done one blessed thing for her when I got there and saw that she hadn't lifted a finger and had left the house essentially a toilet. And as far as cleaning while she was reading? Get real honey, I would have let the landlord sue the snot out of her.
Title: Re: Neighbors: Moving 'Pigpen'
Post by: Hushabye on September 23, 2009, 01:33:01 PM
Darnit, people, just.say.NO!   :-X
Title: Re: Neighbors: Moving 'Pigpen'
Post by: Nurvingiel on September 23, 2009, 01:36:05 PM
This almost seems fake it's so extreme, actually.
Title: Re: Neighbors: Moving 'Pigpen'
Post by: Sara Crewe on September 23, 2009, 04:39:41 PM
I think this woman needs a tattoo up her forearm 'I can say no'.  It doesn't appear that anything less would be sufficient to develop her backbone if she was prepared to clean up faeces and urine for no reason other than 'it was the nice thing to do'.

I would have told Pigpen she needed a professional cleaning company who specialised in completely trashed houses and then gathered up all my friends and gone off to do something fun.
Title: Re: Neighbors: Moving 'Pigpen'
Post by: R_Suerte on September 23, 2009, 04:50:38 PM
At Church, I've been involved in countless moves.  My rule is "We are only here to provide muscle.  We don't clean or pack anything."  Most people are ready and we can move them fast.  We loaded and unloaded a 2 bedroom apartment in 30 minutes once. (That person had everything boxed and labelled.)

There was been a few times when I have shown up, seen the lack of preparation, and told people we could not/would not help them move.


Title: Re: Neighbors: Moving 'Pigpen'
Post by: Corbin on September 23, 2009, 05:08:56 PM
The only time I could see myself doing something like this is if

A). the person being moved was a very very close family member
B). there was an excuse for the condition of thier home (mental or physical illness)
C). they expressed a huge amount of gratitude.


Otherwise, no dice.
Title: Re: Neighbors: Moving 'Pigpen'
Post by: twinkletoes on September 23, 2009, 05:33:18 PM
The only time I could see myself doing something like this is if

A). the person being moved was a very very close family member
B). there was an excuse for the condition of thier home (mental or physical illness)
C). they expressed a huge amount of gratitude.


Otherwise, no dice.

Maybe D - they gave me an organ or a LOT of cash. 

Other than that?  I don't feel sorry for the LW.  I mean, COME ON!  Animal feces?  They're expected to paint her house and refurbish it, too?  Uh, no. 

I would have been so disgusted that I would have left.  DH once helped out a friend with a similar set-up (although luckily, no feces were involved).  He came to help a friend move, and when DH walked in, he was convinced he had the wrong date because the friend hadn't packed A THING. 
Title: Re: Neighbors: Moving 'Pigpen'
Post by: Nurvingiel on September 23, 2009, 05:35:48 PM
What was the outcome Twinkletoes? Was it actually the wrong date? Did your husband just leave?

I do feel badly for the LW. At some point, the LW became convinced that he couldn't stand up for himself ever, and that his time was worth less than everyone else's. I think that's sad.

Stories like this still drive me 'round the twist though.
Title: Re: Neighbors: Moving 'Pigpen'
Post by: twinkletoes on September 24, 2009, 07:40:21 AM
What was the outcome Twinkletoes? Was it actually the wrong date? Did your husband just leave?

I do feel badly for the LW. At some point, the LW became convinced that he couldn't stand up for himself ever, and that his time was worth less than everyone else's. I think that's sad.

Stories like this still drive me 'round the twist though.

I think he wound up taking some of the big stuff that can't be packed up, like his friend's sofa, table, etc., and left his friend to pack up everything else on his own. 
Title: Re: Neighbors: Moving 'Pigpen'
Post by: Nurvingiel on September 24, 2009, 12:32:03 PM
That's a very fair and reasonable solution. :)
Title: Re: Neighbors: Moving 'Pigpen'
Post by: officeworker on September 24, 2009, 12:44:11 PM

Honestly--and this may sound very shallow--I don't think I could be friends with someone who was so unclean (well, if it was due only to laziness, not some mental problem).  Smells really, really get to me, and when your house is that filthy with pet waste, the smell lingers in your hair and clothing.  Even if she found a way to get rid of the smell when she was out of the house, I'd never be able to go visit her in her home.  If I knew she had some kind of problem that contributed to the filth, I'd try to help her, but in this case it just sounds like extreme laziness.

I just can't imagine that a house could get to the point described in the OP without the homeowner/dweller being mentally ill. My grandmother's house was pretty much exactly as the house described in the OP (with the addition of massive amounts of old papers, magazines, plastic bags etc., as well as rat feces) but she was mentally ill. I can see lots of clutter and unwashed dishes and laundry, but animal waste...I can't see a sane person letting that happen. But I suppose it could.

I concur with the likelihood of a mental condition.  I HAVE cleaned out 2 houses and 1 apartment that were in that state (yes, animal feces, live rodents, and all) and in both cases they had a serious mental illness.
Title: Re: Neighbors: Moving 'Pigpen'
Post by: jenny_islander on September 24, 2009, 07:27:04 PM
This almost seems fake it's so extreme, actually.

I knew a family who bought a house that was essentially like that.  They had to rip out all of the carpet and sand the floors and the lower two feet or so of the walls in order to get rid of the cat stench.  On the other hand, the place was a bargain and they were able to redecorate exactly as they pleased.

I also knew of a man who used to skin and butcher deer in his living room.  At least he bled them where he shot them.  Again, the next owner of the house got a bargain.
Title: Re: Neighbors: Moving 'Pigpen'
Post by: RedWolf on September 29, 2009, 11:04:07 AM
I just now saw this thread, and wait! I moved my MIL and cleaned out DH's dad and step-mom's house - why is someone else taking the credit?  ;)

Seriously. MIL was supposed to have everything packed, and "there won't be much." What should have been a two or three-hour event took all day, with us packing while she went through family photos, checked e-mail (she hadn't even unhooked her computer), etc. We didn't help unpack, though - we basically deposited the boxes in her new place and said, "It's a long drive home." Hot showers were in order when we got home, because the old place was filled with rodent droppings.

The dad and step-mom's old house was worse. They never cleaned, never threw anything away. They'd moved out of this house 12-13 years previously but retained ownership and did not rent it out. There were old 2-liter soda bottles, chip containers, candy boxes, etc., all over the floor. You literally could not see the floor; garbage was 1-2 feet deep in places. And you could tell by the package styles that they were still there from when the couple lived there years ago. No mental illness; it was sheer laziness. The feminine product I found had not been used, but it was open. And there was cat and rat waste everywhere.

On both occasions, I wanted to leave, but there are some things we (DH and I) do - well, just because. (He's the most efficient/willing to help family; I help for his sake.) But according to the PILs, I'm The Best DIL.  ;D
Title: Re: Neighbors: Moving 'Pigpen'
Post by: ladycrim on September 29, 2009, 11:26:31 AM
I just now saw this thread, and wait! I moved my MIL and cleaned out DH's dad and step-mom's house - why is someone else taking the credit?  ;)

Seriously. MIL was supposed to have everything packed, and "there won't be much." What should have been a two or three-hour event took all day, with us packing while she went through family photos, checked e-mail (she hadn't even unhooked her computer), etc. We didn't help unpack, though - we basically deposited the boxes in her new place and said, "It's a long drive home." Hot showers were in order when we got home, because the old place was filled with rodent droppings.

The dad and step-mom's old house was worse. They never cleaned, never threw anything away. They'd moved out of this house 12-13 years previously but retained ownership and did not rent it out. There were old 2-liter soda bottles, chip containers, candy boxes, etc., all over the floor. You literally could not see the floor; garbage was 1-2 feet deep in places. And you could tell by the package styles that they were still there from when the couple lived there years ago. No mental illness; it was sheer laziness. The feminine product I found had not been used, but it was open. And there was cat and rat waste everywhere.

On both occasions, I wanted to leave, but there are some things we (DH and I) do - well, just because. (He's the most efficient/willing to help family; I help for his sake.) But according to the PILs, I'm The Best DIL.  ;D

Such situations are definitely harder to walk out on when it's the parents/ILs.
Title: Re: Neighbors: Moving 'Pigpen'
Post by: crazedartist on September 29, 2009, 11:58:05 AM
What really slays me is that she enlisted non-mutual friends to help Pigpen out. It's amazing they helped at all considering what they encountered. Even if Pigpen wasn't, I sure hope the Middleman Friend (OP) was sufficiently grateful to that set of friends...
Title: Re: Neighbors: Moving 'Pigpen'
Post by: Nurvingiel on September 29, 2009, 02:31:52 PM
What really slays me is that she enlisted non-mutual friends to help Pigpen out. It's amazing they helped at all considering what they encountered. Even if Pigpen wasn't, I sure hope the Middleman Friend (OP) was sufficiently grateful to that set of friends...
This as well. I'm happy to help my friends move, but not so much friends of friends. No one's ever asked me to do that though, but I'm pretty sure the first words out of my mouth would be, "How much beer are you going to buy me?"

And on seeing the house, "There isn't enough beer in the world that would make this worthwhile. Call me if you need a lift home!"
Title: Re: Neighbors: Moving 'Pigpen'
Post by: MsCynical on September 30, 2009, 09:08:09 PM
Darnit, people, just.say.NO!   :-X

I wish I had.  I helped a couple move twice and their apartments were awful.  There was no animal waste, thankfully, but there were dirty dishes, old food in the fridge, used feminine products that hadn't quite made it to the trash can, clutter, clothes, and nothing packed.  Clearly, I was an idiot  :P

The first time I helped "Jack" and "Jill" move out of their 1 bedroom apartment, I didn't really know what I was in for.  I knew they didn't clean much since the place was a roach infested firetrap, but they promised pizza and beer afterward.  I was in college so that was the going rate for helping friends move.  And I thought since surely they had moved before, they knew what needed to be done.  Big mistake there.  I knew Jack had started moving at 10 AM.  So he said.  Four other people were going to help them throughout the day and I arrived last.  Jack didn't get a truck.  His plan was to load up one large box, drive it two streets over to the new apartment, empty it, and bring it back, bucket-brigade style.  When I got there at 6 PM, I honestly could not tell any work had been done, and not because the other four were being lazy.  There was that much junk in that place and *nothing* I mean *nothing* was packed.  Jill was nowhere to be found.  At about 11 AM she had started to "feel sick" and was basically sitting in the other apartment reading while Jack and the other four (and now me) did all the work.  We packed at least half a dozen 30 gallon garbage bags full of Jill's clothes (there were no boxes; I had to work with what was available).  Someone thankfully went out and got more boxes for dishes and things like that.  I washed their dishes and essentially packed their entire kitchen while everyone else wrangled with the clothes in the bedroom and the clutter in the living room.  By the time we were finished, it was 11 PM. The stores were closed and they had not bought the beer beforehand.  The pizza arrived about 11:30 and no one really felt like talking, especially not to Jill, who it seemed was feeling much better after the work was done.  That pretty much ended Jack and Jill's friendship with two of the people who helped them move that day, and strained my friendship with them.

But as they say, "Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me."  A couple of years later Jack and Jill were moving into a house.  I made it clear to them that my help came with conditions - a) they would pack and b) they would rent a truck (the house was a 45-minute drive away).  Jack assured me over and over that he realized the last time was a disaster and everything would be packed and ready to go this time. Myself and my BF were the only people from the prior move who agreed to help them the second time.  Clearly everyone else was smarter than we were  :P Jack did rent a U-haul.  But they were not packed.  This time he had three large boxes which were full, but that didn't begin to hold all their junk.  There were again dirty dishes, food that needed to be thrown out, used feminine products that didn't make it to the trash can, and, as Jack and Jill had gotten married in the interim, a bedroom littered with condom wrappers.  I was *this* close to walking out again when Jack told us that he had to be moved that day because the lease was up the next day (a Sunday) and he had to turn the truck in by 6 PM.  BF, who was closer to Jack than I was, asked me to stay.  So again I stuffed clothes in sacks, threw away any paper that was on the floor (I may have thrown out mail they needed but I figured if they didn't think it wasn't important enough to sort, it wasn't important enough for me to worry about), and this time, etiquette gods have mercy on me, I packed their dishes dirty.  There was no time to wash them and I did tell Jack they were dirty so he'd know to unpack them quickly.  And where was Jill during this fiasco?  She was at the house taking down wallpaper.  She had "weak arms" (so she claimed) and couldn't lift heavy things and thought she'd do more good at the house.  At the end of the day she'd taken down exactly three square feet in one room. I think the day was summed up when a friend, who was throwing out paper, found a dustbuster covered in dust hidden behind the couches.  Jack didn't remember even owning one.  We got everything moved and the truck returned on time.  They halfhearted offered to order us pizza, but I just wanted to go home.  That pretty much ended everyone's friendship with them, except for my BF, who is just that kind of guy.

So, in short, I let them take advantage of me (and so did my other friends).  They were my friends, and there are things you do for friends.  Of course, at the end of it, they were not friends any more.  But they had shown they didn't mind taking advantage of their friends (given the state of the place for the second move), so maybe it wasn't such a loss.

But, yeah, I really should have said "no" at least the second time and probably "heck no!"  :) 
Title: Re: Neighbors: Moving 'Pigpen'
Post by: WesternWhiteWolf on October 01, 2009, 11:21:14 PM
Well, I imagine it would be harder to say no if your BF asked you to stay.

But if it had been me - I'd still say heck no, quite possibly laden with words not suitable for eHell.
Title: Re: Neighbors: Moving 'Pigpen'
Post by: MsCynical on October 03, 2009, 10:16:58 AM
Well, I imagine it would be harder to say no if your BF asked you to stay.

But if it had been me - I'd still say heck no, quite possibly laden with words not suitable for eHell.

Oh, I had plenty of those words, later, that I vented to my BF. 

But I think this is where people get in trouble - they try to be nice.  Other people take advantage of that.  Especially for something like moving.  Almost everyone I would guess has had the experience of moving and knows it goes so much easier with people to help.  I've had a lot of people help me over the years, so I usually don't mind helping others.  It's moving karma.

Jack and Jill alienated or outright lost at least five of their friends through these two moves, so maybe that's karma coming back to them.

I hope the LW who helped Pigpen move eventually grew enough of a spine to realize this person is only going to continue to take advantage of her generosity.  The friendship (whatever there was of it) is already over; why continue to do nice things for someone who's clearly not a friend?
Title: Re: Neighbors: Moving 'Pigpen'
Post by: HonorH on October 03, 2009, 09:04:28 PM
Jack and Jill alienated or outright lost at least five of their friends through these two moves, so maybe that's karma coming back to them.

That's not karma--that's consequences.  Karma would be their new living place flooding or developing a roach problem.  Consequences is what happens when your friends realize what freeloaders you are and decide they're better off without you.
Title: Re: Neighbors: Moving 'Pigpen'
Post by: nonesuch4 on October 04, 2009, 07:45:02 PM
The last time I helped someone move, I realized I was too old for that kind of rubbish.

Friend B moved 4 times in five years.  I helped twice.  The first time wasn't so bad, he was organized and ready to go.  The second time he wasn't even packed. I was 45 at the time, and he was 20-something.  He did have boxes, he just hadn't filled them.  Or swept.  Or cleaned.  I told him never again.

My college roomie pulled a Jill.  Having set up a time with my parents for them to come up with their station wagon, I figured it would be a cinch, wouldn't take more than a morning. 

Parents pull up and ...roomie's not packed.  She actually thought it would be okay to stay in her room, wrapping things in newspaper, while my parents (aged 47 and 58) carried her boxes down one flight of stairs and up the two flights to Apt #2.

Title: Re: Neighbors: Moving 'Pigpen'
Post by: HonorH on October 04, 2009, 09:17:57 PM
The last time I helped someone move, I realized I was too old for that kind of rubbish.

Friend B moved 4 times in five years.  I helped twice.  The first time wasn't so bad, he was organized and ready to go.  The second time he wasn't even packed. I was 45 at the time, and he was 20-something.  He did have boxes, he just hadn't filled them.  Or swept.  Or cleaned.  I told him never again.

My college roomie pulled a Jill.  Having set up a time with my parents for them to come up with their station wagon, I figured it would be a cinch, wouldn't take more than a morning. 

Parents pull up and ...roomie's not packed.  She actually thought it would be okay to stay in her room, wrapping things in newspaper, while my parents (aged 47 and 58) carried her boxes down one flight of stairs and up the two flights to Apt #2.

I assume your parents disabused her of that notion?
Title: Re: Neighbors: Moving 'Pigpen'
Post by: taralee on October 07, 2009, 06:27:41 PM
I moved a 'Pigpen' of my own a few years back. It was a friend of mine, who we'll call Tina -- she's always been the kind of person who relies on other people to fix her life. You may know one of those kinds of people...seems like everything goes wrong for them (through bad choices), yet they seem so helpless that people always jump forward to help them. I've thankfully stopped doing that anymore for her...

Anyhoo, she was sharing an apartment with another girl, and decided to move out into a place of her own. She asked a bunch of friends to help, and asked if anyone had any old furniture to give her. We had a couch and some other odds and ends, but because we lived about 25 miles away, we weren't sure how to get them to her (none of us own trucks). She hit on the smart idea that my husband and I would rent the truck for the move, bring the furniture up at the same time, and she would pay us back for the rental. I think you can guess how that turned out.

The week before the move, I pestered her daily about whether or not she was packed up. I personally am one of those anal retentive types who buys a ton of boxes and starts packing a week or two before the move. Tina...is not that kind of person. We got to her apartment, and found almost nothing packed, and only a couple of boxes to put stuff in. So we all chip in and start packing things as best we can. I helped her with her bedroom -- it was honestly revolting. Everything was covered with this weird gray linty fuzz that coated the inside of my nose and throat as we shifted things around. There were dirty dishes lying all over the place. Dirty clothes everywhere. And it just stank. I guess if you never clean your room, it starts to smell like you. We did the best we could -- shoved stuff in to bags and the few boxes we had. It was just really gross, and really changed my perception of my friend.

Highlights of the move include:

- nothing to drink for those of us moving her stuff, despite it being summer in SoCal and hot as heck.
- she didn't pay for our lunch (just seems like the standard, nice thing to do if someone is helping you move. Every other friend I've moved has done that, even if it's just pizza)
- the rental truck almost got towed because we parked it behind her apartment in an alleyway, and then she insisted we go out to lunch. When I mentioned that maybe it was a bad idea to just leave the truck there while we're gone, she told us not to worry about it. When we got back from lunch, someone in the apartment complex behind hers was writing down our license plate #, and was about to call the tow company. My husband convinced them that we would be gone very soon, so they dropped it, thankfully.
- I got the worst sinus infection of my life from the nasty gray stuff in her room.
- she never paid us for the rental truck.
Title: Re: Neighbors: Moving 'Pigpen'
Post by: hyzenthlay on October 13, 2009, 12:02:15 PM
Our parents were kind enough to help us move our house, and my DH's office twice.

My Dad helps with the actual hauling, my Mom has put down shelf paper for me (which is wonderful, cause I'd never get around to it myself. His dad lends us his truck with the tailgate lift, the dolly, and these next gizmos he has for moving vending machines, that make the fridge, and washer and dryer a real breeze to move. He also helps coordinate the moving of the large items. He's got a bad back and we wouldn't let him lift if he tried it.

In return we've tried to be reasonably organized, fully ready to go, buy both lunch and dinner, and try to have a variety of beverages (including some alcohol) on hand. And, not criticize in any way how they move or don't move anything.
Title: Re: Neighbors: Moving 'Pigpen'
Post by: Sirius on January 05, 2010, 02:17:52 PM
I helped some friends move some large items from their house to their garage when they redecorated, and then back when they were finished.  Not only did they feed us, they were profuse with their thanks and even gave us thank-you notes.  Plus, they'd already moved 98% of the smaller items to the garage before the rest of us came over, so all that was left were the things they hadn't been able to move themselves.  The husband in this case is elderly, but he was right in there with us youngsters moving what he could. 

Title: Re: Neighbors: Moving 'Pigpen'
Post by: Perfect Circle on January 05, 2010, 02:56:24 PM

Honestly--and this may sound very shallow--I don't think I could be friends with someone who was so unclean (well, if it was due only to laziness, not some mental problem).  Smells really, really get to me, and when your house is that filthy with pet waste, the smell lingers in your hair and clothing.  Even if she found a way to get rid of the smell when she was out of the house, I'd never be able to go visit her in her home.  If I knew she had some kind of problem that contributed to the filth, I'd try to help her, but in this case it just sounds like extreme laziness.

I just can't imagine that a house could get to the point described in the OP without the homeowner/dweller being mentally ill. My grandmother's house was pretty much exactly as the house described in the OP (with the addition of massive amounts of old papers, magazines, plastic bags etc., as well as rat feces) but she was mentally ill. I can see lots of clutter and unwashed dishes and laundry, but animal waste...I can't see a sane person letting that happen. But I suppose it could.

I concur with the likelihood of a mental condition.  I HAVE cleaned out 2 houses and 1 apartment that were in that state (yes, animal feces, live rodents, and all) and in both cases they had a serious mental illness.

 I know a couple whose house was like that and they are not mentally ill. Just really lazy. Apparently you can't smell it if you live in it... I refused to visit and hardly seem them at all now. Vile. Oh and  they offerd I could get ready on my wedding day in their house. My sides are still splitting from the laughing I had to do. Privately of course ;)
Title: Re: Neighbors: Moving 'Pigpen'
Post by: Twik on January 05, 2010, 07:42:38 PM
Apparently you can't smell it if you live in it...

Physiologically, that's true. Your olfactory receptors eventually treat constant smells as non-existent - probably, because there's no point from a survival standpoint in detecting odours that don't change.
Title: Re: Neighbors: Moving 'Pigpen'
Post by: MrsJWine on January 05, 2010, 08:48:47 PM
Apparently you can't smell it if you live in it...

Physiologically, that's true. Your olfactory receptors eventually treat constant smells as non-existent - probably, because there's no point from a survival standpoint in detecting odours that don't change.

This actually makes me a little paranoid.  Our house was a trash-out.  The former occupants left a portion of their back rent and cleared out in the middle of the night, leaving everything behind, including pet waste, a filthy kitchen, and a refrigerator full of food.  We had to do extensive cleaning before we could move anything in.  I spent four hours cleaning just the refrigerator.  And it was months before I could even make a sandwich in the kitchen without wiping the counter six times (I am nothing even close to a germophobe).  Anyway, some of the smells lingered; the house was clean, but some smells were persistent.  They have now faded, but I often wonder if they've really faded, or if I just can't smell them anymore.  Anytime we're gone for a few days, I make sure I take a really big whiff upon walking in the door.  I haven't smelled anything in a while, but I'm still not reassured.
Title: Re: Neighbors: Moving 'Pigpen'
Post by: wolfie on January 06, 2010, 09:13:56 AM
Apparently you can't smell it if you live in it...

Physiologically, that's true. Your olfactory receptors eventually treat constant smells as non-existent - probably, because there's no point from a survival standpoint in detecting odours that don't change.

This actually makes me a little paranoid.  Our house was a trash-out.  The former occupants left a portion of their back rent and cleared out in the middle of the night, leaving everything behind, including pet waste, a filthy kitchen, and a refrigerator full of food.  We had to do extensive cleaning before we could move anything in.  I spent four hours cleaning just the refrigerator.  And it was months before I could even make a sandwich in the kitchen without wiping the counter six times (I am nothing even close to a germophobe).  Anyway, some of the smells lingered; the house was clean, but some smells were persistent.  They have now faded, but I often wonder if they've really faded, or if I just can't smell them anymore.  Anytime we're gone for a few days, I make sure I take a really big whiff upon walking in the door.  I haven't smelled anything in a while, but I'm still not reassured.

When I took Leo the cat in he was an unneutered male. He used the litterbox and I wouldn't smell anything. Then I would go to work and come home and oh my god! I have never smelled anything so awful in my life. Now I knew what people meant when they said a house smelled like cat. After about 10 minutes I couldn't smell anything anymore. So if you leave for a while and come back and smell nothing you are probably fine. If you really want to check get a good friend to come and smell - one who will truthfully tell you if your house really smells and not try to spare your feelings.
Title: Re: Neighbors: Moving 'Pigpen'
Post by: Twik on January 06, 2010, 11:55:59 AM
It's also why, unfortunately, some people apply perfume until they reek. They think that the first application has worn off, when it's just that *they* can't smell it anymore.
Title: Re: Neighbors: Moving 'Pigpen'
Post by: magicdomino on January 08, 2010, 09:31:26 AM
If you really want to check get a good friend to come and smell - one who will truthfully tell you if your house really smells and not try to spare your feelings.

Like Twik, I'm a little paranoid about my house stinking because of Domino's Issues.  My two best friends have been requested to tell me if they ever smell anything in the house, and I occasionnally ask them, just in case they are being polite.
Title: Re: Neighbors: Moving 'Pigpen'
Post by: MrsJWine on January 08, 2010, 09:46:26 AM
If you really want to check get a good friend to come and smell - one who will truthfully tell you if your house really smells and not try to spare your feelings.

Like Twik, I'm a little paranoid about my house stinking because of Domino's Issues.  My two best friends have been requested to tell me if they ever smell anything in the house, and I occasionnally ask them, just in case they are being polite.

Yes, I've done this, but there's a little voice in the back of my head telling me they're just saying it's okay to make me feel better.  Which is stupid, I know, but most of my close friends do tend to be a little too nice.  I'm 99% sure they're honest with me when I ask for it, but there's still that 1%...
Title: Re: Neighbors: Moving 'Pigpen'
Post by: ladycrim on January 12, 2012, 02:39:34 PM
Bumping this thread because I'm moving this weekend and I wanted a reminder of what NOT to do!  (OK, I didn't really need one, but you know ...)

I promise the following: I'm in the midst of diligently packing my stuff; I'm taking anything I can carry over to my new apartment in advance, so the only things my friends will need to help with are the heavy items; I will have drinks and food on hand (and will be taking the people loaning me a truck to dinner); I'm throwing away my cat's old litterbox and buying a new (better) one, so no risk at all of kitty waste being around.

I solemnly swear I will not be a Pigpen!
Title: Re: Neighbors: Moving 'Pigpen'
Post by: lollylegs on January 13, 2012, 04:45:01 AM
I kind of have a reverse Pigpen story.  Well, we weren't as bad as Pigpen.

My partner and I were moving from our little duplex to the house we'd just bought. My partner's friend-with-a-ute offered to help us move, which we gratefully accepted.  The night before we had everything packed except for a few things we needed that night - plates, some clothes, etc.  We patted ourselves on the back and decided to celebrate by having one last drink at the pub across the road from us.

Well we had more than one and friend-with-a-ute showed up an hour early.  He washed our dishes, packed up the last bits and pieces, helped us move, surprised us with lunch on one of his runs and tried to refuse us buying him a drink; we had to do secret squirrel trips to the bar.  Nice guy, far too nice unfortunately and gets taken advantage of a lot.
Title: Re: Neighbors: Moving 'Pigpen'
Post by: ladycrim on January 17, 2012, 06:34:12 PM
OK, I wasn't a Pigpen, but circumstances fell badly, and .... well, I have the best friends in the world!

5 people agreed to help me load my furniture and other assorted stuff into the moving truck, take it to my new apartment, and unload.  Unfortunately, I had an emergency and had to leave right when the truck had been loaded.  I suggested my friends take a lunch break (on me) and we'd go to the new apartment when I got back.  Instead, they asked for my keys and unloaded everything while I was dealing with the emergency.  I got to my new apartment to find all the furniture in place.  I was so grateful I could have cried.  (And yes, I did take them to lunch!)
Title: Re: Neighbors: Moving 'Pigpen'
Post by: ladycrim on January 17, 2012, 06:35:57 PM
And here's another tale from the archives about ungrateful people being moved:

A few years ago a friend of mine, "Mike" and his girlfriend "Liz" had decided to move in together. They decided to give up their apartments and move into a new larger place along with Liz's 19-year-old daughter, "Tina". I hadn't heard from Mike for several months but he calls me on a Saturday afternoon around 1:00 PM and asks me if I can give him a hand moving a few boxes onto his rental truck. Since I had nothing else planned for the day and he lived near by I agreed to help.

When I arrived he explains that he has a large group of people coming the next day to move the majority of their stuff butt he just had to move about 15 or 20 boxes that afternoon. Well it turns out that 20 boxes are really about 40 and none of them are packed. Now I have no problem helping someone move but since he knew he was moving months before and had done nothing to prepare for it I felt it was not my place to pack his possessions. As he packed the boxes I would carry them quite a distance to the truck. Because he wasn't actually carrying any of these boxes he didn't exactly pack them light. He also made a point to explain to me that he didn't want to spend the extra $5.00 to rent the wheel dolly padlocked in the back of the truck - but then again he wasn't carrying the boxes, I was.

Finally the boxes were all loaded into the truck. Everything this guy owned fit into boxes - he had zero furniture despite having lived in this apartment for number of years and earning a good living. I was about to leave when he asked me to drive him to the truck rental firm to pick up his car but first we would have to drop the rental truck off at his girl friends apartment.

Arriving at Liz's apartment Mike quickly forgets about picking up his car and asks if I can give him a hand loading a few things of hers just to make things go a little faster the next day. Thinking that his girlfriend would be slightly more organized I agreed - I was wrong. As we are walking in one of Liz's male friends arrives and is enlisted to help out also.

When we walk into the apartment we are met by Liz and her 19 year old daughter Tina. Neither of them say hello in response to my greeting - Liz does manage a little nod. As nothing is packed here either we start moving furniture out to the truck. The whole time Liz and Tina are sitting in the kitchen drinking coffee and smoking. Eventually we fill the truck and I'm again asked to drop Mike off at the truck rental firm. But he wants to drop the truck off at the new apartment first. We arrive at the new apartment only to be met by two others friends who have come by to see the new apartment. One of the friends "Diana" suggests that we empty the truck to make it easier the next day. Since everyone else was willing I was put on the spot and agreed to help. So Liz, Tina and Diana all head up the 3 floors to the new apartment - empty handed.

While the men are unloading the truck the three women are discussing where they will put things, what curtains they need etc. At around 6:00 PM the truck is empty and Diana suggest we all go back and load up for tomorrow. Again, since everyone else was willing I agreed. Back at Liz's apartment we start loading furniture again. Liz and Diana talk about putting stuff in the storage locker at the new place but they need a padlock. So Liz, Diana and Tina head to Sears to buy a lock. They come back an hour later having bought the lock and done a little clothes shopping while they were there. It's now about 7:30 PM and there has been no talk of stopping for supper. Around here it's usual that if you ask friends to help you move you provide some sort of fast food around meal times - chicken, pizza etc and beverages. I've been helping these people for over 6 hours and I haven't been even offered a glass of water.

At one point Tina comes into the living room, sits down on the sofa, puts her feet up on the coffee table and starts watching TV. I couldn't believe it! Not only had this girl not lifted a finger to help but this was just too much. One of the other people helping came into the living room and asked me what was next - I looked at the girl and then at the TV - the choice was obvious. I went over unplugged the TV and we carried it out to the truck. Next to go were the sofa and the coffee table leaving her no where to sit.

Around 9:00 PM I had enough so I made an excuse to leave. I had been helping these people move for the past 8 hours, hadn't been fed or offered a beverage (not even water) and two of the people being moved hadn't helped. When I told them I was leaving Mike said "OK" - no "thanks for helping" - nothing. I heard from a mutual friend that they had a large apartment warming party the next week but apparently I wasn't invited. To this day I have never been thanked for helping out. Mike and Liz split up a few months later and I have no idea who helped them move but it sure wasn't me.     Neighbors0310-01
Title: Re: Neighbors: Moving 'Pigpen'
Post by: eltf177 on January 19, 2012, 10:53:35 AM
Mike and Liz sound like real users. I wouldn't have put up with this for 10 minutes, much less all day!
Title: Re: Neighbors: Moving 'Pigpen'
Post by: Daquiri40 on January 23, 2012, 09:36:16 AM
My boyfriend and I helped his brother and his girlfriend move.  It was a very similar situation to the OP's but made much more disgusting by the presence of chickens and ducks.  The ducks were in cages that were not well maintained.  Ever smell WET duck droppings? 

Nothing was packed.  When we got there, both were eating a snack and were not very motivated to move.  I put empty soda bottles in paper bags for about 1/2 hour.  His girlfriend gave me some weird tape to build boxes and that cut my hands.  The garbage his brother wanted to move was something else.  Broken boards and pieces of stripping were the best things.

After about an hour, his brother decided to wash the duck cages so he would load them in the truck.  The smell drove me to my car.  We were both done then.  We made our excuses and left.
Title: Re: Neighbors: Moving 'Pigpen'
Post by: jedikaiti on February 01, 2012, 02:07:04 PM
Yea, I helped one wholly unprepared person move, once. She wasn't quite a Pigpen, but it was close.

The only thing I can think of when reading these stories is, "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you were moving today! Let me know what day you reschedule for. Bye!"
Title: Re: Neighbors: Moving 'Pigpen'
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on February 01, 2012, 02:50:58 PM
DH and I helped another couple pack up and move but in their defense it was a screw-up in the sale of the house that was all down to a miscommunication by the realtors.   Our friends had bought a house and it was thankfully ready for them to move in, but they hadn't planned on moving for another month.  The buyers wanted to move in right away and since our friend's realtor had the spine of a wet noodle, they asked us to help them move out that day.

It went alright and thankfully they did help in the packing up so that we did get it taken care of and quickly, and since the boys stayed with the IL's we didn't have them underfoot to slow us down.
Title: Re: Neighbors: Moving 'Pigpen'
Post by: jedikaiti on February 01, 2012, 04:39:46 PM
DH and I helped another couple pack up and move but in their defense it was a screw-up in the sale of the house that was all down to a miscommunication by the realtors.   Our friends had bought a house and it was thankfully ready for them to move in, but they hadn't planned on moving for another month.  The buyers wanted to move in right away and since our friend's realtor had the spine of a wet noodle, they asked us to help them move out that day.

It went alright and thankfully they did help in the packing up so that we did get it taken care of and quickly, and since the boys stayed with the IL's we didn't have them underfoot to slow us down.

If the realtor's going to commit them to moving a month earlier than planned, the realor can shell out for packers & movers!
Title: Re: Neighbors: Moving 'Pigpen'
Post by: Petticoats on February 01, 2012, 06:07:19 PM
A work friend of mine generously agreed to help a temp move. She hadn't packed at all, and she was a hoarder. He said the windows were sealed over with plastic, there were old bits of flypaper (with fly corpses) hanging from the ceiling, and the real Rose-for-Emily moment was finding that the bathtub was filled with wire clothes hangers... with a little space cleared at the end where temp could stand under the shower. <shudder>
Title: Re: Neighbors: Moving 'Pigpen'
Post by: Venus193 on February 01, 2012, 07:57:46 PM
My friend Blanche was forced to sell a house and move almost eight years ago.  Eunice and Steve agreed to help them under the same terms as the writer of this story.  Upon arrival they saw that nothing was packed and the rooms used for storage had not been dealt with.  They just threw things into boxes and packed the cars.  Followed by a seven-hour drive.

Blanche had been in a state of massive depression; her Christmas tree had never been taken down and it was September.

Steve still talks about this.  This is why many people with hoarding problems never ask for help.
Title: Re: Neighbors: Moving 'Pigpen'
Post by: Winterlight on February 11, 2012, 09:15:26 PM
I moved in 2010. Everything was packed- and I mean everything- and moved downstairs to the back door by the time my friends showed up. We moved stuff to the van, went and had lunch on me, drove to the new place and unloaded. Total, it took us less than 6 hours. Now I understand why my friends offered to help me move in future if I needed it.
Title: Re: Neighbors: Moving 'Pigpen'
Post by: lady_disdain on February 22, 2012, 10:19:54 AM
My friend Blanche was forced to sell a house and move almost eight years ago.  Eunice and Steve agreed to help them under the same terms as the writer of this story.  Upon arrival they saw that nothing was packed and the rooms used for storage had not been dealt with.  They just threw things into boxes and packed the cars.  Followed by a seven-hour drive.

Blanche had been in a state of massive depression; her Christmas tree had never been taken down and it was September.

Steve still talks about this.  This is why many people with hoarding problems never ask for help.

I think Steve is being very rude by still bringing this up. However, while I do feel for Blanche, signing up to help move is very different from signing up to deal with a hoarding situation. I would think very hard before agreeing to help a hoarder, because I am not equipped to help them deal with it and because I am also unsure I could deal with the state of things.
Title: Re: Neighbors: Moving 'Pigpen'
Post by: Venus193 on February 22, 2012, 11:18:30 AM
I can only imagine what he thinks at the fact that she was evicted six months ago and needed help for her hoarding build-up, which may have looked worse because she had a quarter of the space of the house he moved her out of.

I absolutely agree that signing up to help move and signing up to help a hoarder are two different deals.

Any hoarder who asks for help needs to be up front about the issue and hope that whomever is approached will not be judgmental or will gossip about it.  The person who gave the most assistance in Blanche's most recent situation fought with her all the way over what to keep and what to ditch.  While this is probably a normal part of the process, some of the fights sounded ridiculous to me.
Title: Re: Neighbors: Moving 'Pigpen'
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on February 24, 2012, 08:39:32 AM
I moved in 2010. Everything was packed- and I mean everything- and moved downstairs to the back door by the time my friends showed up. We moved stuff to the van, went and had lunch on me, drove to the new place and unloaded. Total, it took us less than 6 hours. Now I understand why my friends offered to help me move in future if I needed it.

LOL!  We treated those who helped us move to pizza for lunch and Cracker Barrel for dinner and were still told "Next time, please call a moving company? Or just...you know, don't move!"  I can't say as I blame them as the house we moved to has a staircase that made it really difficult to get some of our furniture up to the second floor.
Title: Re: Neighbors: Moving 'Pigpen'
Post by: Venus193 on February 24, 2012, 09:50:24 AM
I live in a fourth floor walk-up, but I had no furniture when I moved in.
Title: Re: Neighbors: Moving 'Pigpen'
Post by: lady_disdain on February 24, 2012, 04:48:32 PM
LOL!  We treated those who helped us move to pizza for lunch and Cracker Barrel for dinner and were still told "Next time, please call a moving company? Or just...you know, don't move!"  I can't say as I blame them as the house we moved to has a staircase that made it really difficult to get some of our furniture up to the second floor.


Oh, yes, stairs are deal breakers in a move ;)

Edited to fix quote.
Title: Re: Neighbors: Moving 'Pigpen'
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on February 24, 2012, 05:57:00 PM
LOL they can be. Our house was built in 1925, and apparently before queen size mattresses existed.  We couldn't even get our box spring up the stairs.  It's not a big flight of stairs, actually it's quite short but it turns sharply about 3/4 of the way up and so we just said "to heck with it" on the mattress but there was my dresser that needed to get up there.  Dh and our friend managed to get it up there but we ended up having to get a split box spring.
Title: Re: Neighbors: Moving 'Pigpen'
Post by: Elfmama on February 29, 2012, 04:08:38 PM
No, definitely no queen-sized beds in 1925! I don't recall seeing queen/king mattresses before the mid-1970's, although I could be wrong.  DH's sister threw us a linens shower, and I don't recall that she asked what size bed we'd be using.  All the sheet sets given to us were double-sized.
Title: Re: Neighbors: Moving 'Pigpen'
Post by: cicero on March 07, 2012, 05:43:39 AM
LOL they can be. Our house was built in 1925, and apparently before queen size mattresses existed.  We couldn't even get our box spring up the stairs.  It's not a big flight of stairs, actually it's quite short but it turns sharply about 3/4 of the way up and so we just said "to heck with it" on the mattress but there was my dresser that needed to get up there.  Dh and our friend managed to get it up there but we ended up having to get a split box spring.

anyone else have the image of ross geller yelling "pivot! pi-vot!"

(http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lhcsxzXSJX1qh17feo1_400.gif)


Title: Re: Neighbors: Moving 'Pigpen'
Post by: Winterlight on March 10, 2012, 10:48:53 AM
I moved in 2010. Everything was packed- and I mean everything- and moved downstairs to the back door by the time my friends showed up. We moved stuff to the van, went and had lunch on me, drove to the new place and unloaded. Total, it took us less than 6 hours. Now I understand why my friends offered to help me move in future if I needed it.

LOL!  We treated those who helped us move to pizza for lunch and Cracker Barrel for dinner and were still told "Next time, please call a moving company? Or just...you know, don't move!"  I can't say as I blame them as the house we moved to has a staircase that made it really difficult to get some of our furniture up to the second floor.

Luckily, I had no furniture. I did have stairs but I'd boxed things so nothing was too heavy.
Title: Re: Neighbors: Moving 'Pigpen'
Post by: Bibliophile on April 03, 2012, 01:04:36 PM
Dealing with a regular move where the person moving has been too lazy to pack a darn thing is apples to oranges to dealing with a hoarder.  You really can't compare the 2 at all.  I've dealt with both.