Etiquette Hell

A Civil World. Off-topic discussions on a variety of topics. Guests, register for forum membership to see all the boards. => Humor Me! => Topic started by: Nimblicity on May 14, 2007, 06:35:53 AM

Title: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Nimblicity on May 14, 2007, 06:35:53 AM
Reading about finding dog doo with a weed-eater reminded me of my grossest (if that's a word) moment.

Out at the farm, my mom found a big fat tick on the farm dog.  She pulled it off and threw it on the sidewalk right in front of me.  I mean it was the size of a grape.  Couldn't even move on its own.  My mom said, "Kill it!"

So...

I stepped on it.  In flip-flops.

Pop! Tick explodes and spurts dog-blood onto my other foot.

Ewwwwwwwww!!!!!  This was years ago and it still grosses me out.

What was your grossest moment?
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: scooter2071 on May 14, 2007, 09:17:06 AM
Yesterday, actually. DS was "napping" in his crib and has recently started taking off his diaper whenever he gets the chance. You know where this one is going...

I guess he decided to make me a sculpture for Mother's Day  :P

It was EVERYWHERE! He crammed poop inside the holes where the screws go in the crib, all over the slats, all over him... :-X



Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Clara Bow on May 14, 2007, 02:17:43 PM
A friend of mine got horrendously drunk at her bachelorette party. We didn't want to drive anywhere because she kept saying she needed to throw up. It became apparent to me that she needed to vomit but couldn't.
I told her I was going to stick my finger down her throat on the count of three. I did, and got out of the way just before she let fly...
After bodily carrying her into the hotel room and cleaning her up while she vomited into the toilet another friend and I got her undressed and into her nightgown.
That was when other friend noticed that she had tampons in her overnight bag.
She looked at me (drunk friend was long passed out) and said "What do we do? She's on her period!"
I looked at her and said "She's on her dingdangity own with that. I've been knee deep in puke all night and I have had ENOUGH!!"
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Bijou on May 15, 2007, 09:20:22 AM
A friend of mine got horrendously drunk at her bachelorette party. We didn't want to drive anywhere because she kept saying she needed to throw up. It became apparent to me that she needed to vomit but couldn't.
I told her I was going to stick my finger down her throat on the count of three. I did, and got out of the way just before she let fly...
After bodily carrying her into the hotel room and cleaning her up while she vomited into the toilet another friend and I got her undressed and into her nightgown.
That was when other friend noticed that she had tampons in her overnight bag.
She looked at me (drunk friend was long passed out) and said "What do we do? She's on her period!"
I looked at her and said "She's on her dingdangity own with that. I've been knee deep in puke all night and I have had ENOUGH!!"
GOOD GRIEF! 
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Midnight Kitty on May 15, 2007, 09:04:49 PM
A friend of mine got horrendously drunk at her bachelorette party. We didn't want to drive anywhere because she kept saying she needed to throw up. It became apparent to me that she needed to vomit but couldn't.
I told her I was going to stick my finger down her throat on the count of three. I did, and got out of the way just before she let fly...
After bodily carrying her into the hotel room and cleaning her up while she vomited into the toilet another friend and I got her undressed and into her nightgown.
That was when other friend noticed that she had tampons in her overnight bag.
She looked at me (drunk friend was long passed out) and said "What do we do? She's on her period!"
I looked at her and said "She's on her dingdangity own with that. I've been knee deep in puke all night and I have had ENOUGH!!"

Hey, everyone has their limits >:D

I wouldn't shove my fingers down anyone's throat for any reason, so you are a better friend that me.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: AprilRenee on May 15, 2007, 09:46:13 PM
My daughter was about 8 months old and we had one of those jumper things that hangs from the door frames. You put the kid in and they can hop and jump in there.

She would spend an hour or 2 in there, she loved it so much.

One day I popped her in it and went to the bathroom. When i came out, she was happily jumping around in a puddle of diarrhea. It escaped her diaper and was running down her legs on to the floor.

I swear I nearly died cleaning that up
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Rei-chan on May 15, 2007, 10:34:38 PM

Here's mine:

About 10 years ago, I went with some friends to a local 24 hour restaurant for an early breakfast.  It was around 3am, and the bars had just closed.  We were sat at a booth in front of 2 men, one was eating salad.  For you to get this, here's a map, because I am not sure how this happened the way it did:

                                 | Our table | |Their table |
                                 |          ME| |1 guy- SGuy|

My back was to the salad guy.  All of a sudden I hear this single loud HACK! and get hit in the back of the head with a steaming wad of salad.  Somehow he projectile vomited from his side of the table, missed his friend, and hit me, sitting at the next table almost 5 feet away.

I scream, and end up trying to wash puke out of my hair in the tiny bathroom.  Luckily, I had another shirt in my car and changed.  Just as I come out, the waitress brings my eggs over medium.  Which of course, I couldn't eat.   >:(
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Shoo on May 15, 2007, 10:39:10 PM

Here's mine:

About 10 years ago, I went with some friends to a local 24 hour restaurant for an early breakfast.  It was around 3am, and the bars had just closed.  We were sat at a booth in front of 2 men, one was eating salad.  For you to get this, here's a map, because I am not sure how this happened the way it did:

                                 | Our table | |Their table |
                                 |          ME| |1 guy- SGuy|

My back was to the salad guy.  All of a sudden I hear this single loud HACK! and get hit in the back of the head with a steaming wad of salad.  Somehow he projectile vomited from his side of the table, missed his friend, and hit me, sitting at the next table almost 5 feet away.

I scream, and end up trying to wash puke out of my hair in the tiny bathroom.  Luckily, I had another shirt in my car and changed.  Just as I come out, the waitress brings my eggs over medium.  Which of course, I couldn't eat.   >:(

Oh, Willow.  I don't read many things that make me throw my hand over my mouth to keep my dh from hearing me laughing, but this did it.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Rei-chan on May 15, 2007, 10:44:11 PM

LOL.  Glad you got a laugh out of that Shoo. 

10 years ago, not so funny, but now, I can see the humor in it.   :) 

Tell you what though, before that I could deal with all kinds of grossness.  Now I can't even hear someone puke without gagging.  It's gonna be bad when we have kids.......
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Shores on May 17, 2007, 04:18:09 AM
My mother once hosted a fairly formal eveing outdoors cocktail shindig years back. She spent weeks preparing and all day stressing, cleaning and cooking. She was dressed to the nines and trying to be perfect. About 30 min into the party, she's talking to a guest, hears a noise, looks up.... and catches a load of bird doo right in the mouth.

My mother's EXTREMELY type-A and perfectionist. It was pretty funny to watch the fall-out. :P
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Bethalize on May 17, 2007, 07:21:36 AM
What was your grossest moment?

I trod on a slug in bare feet.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Clara Bow on May 17, 2007, 10:46:15 AM
My daughter was about 8 months old and we had one of those jumper things that hangs from the door frames. You put the kid in and they can hop and jump in there.

She would spend an hour or 2 in there, she loved it so much.

One day I popped her in it and went to the bathroom. When i came out, she was happily jumping around in a puddle of diarrhea. It escaped her diaper and was running down her legs on to the floor.

I swear I nearly died cleaning that up



I was laughing so hard at this post my husband had to come and read it to see what I was rolling in the floor about....
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Ferrets on June 01, 2007, 03:08:42 PM
As most of you may know, the local slug forces are attempting to push forward their frontier into our house.

The other night, I heard the cat hacking in the living-room. I went in - cat was fine, but he'd been sick on the carpet. "Oh dear, poor baby, are you alright? Good! Eww...Mum'll just clean this up..."

DF comes downstairs asking if he can help. I say no, bend down to the mess, and:

"EWW! There's a WHOLE SLUG in here!" :o Well, that explains a lot. ::)

It gets worse.

DF makes a move to get the cat litter (to pour over the mess to blot up the fluid element, so to speak, before sweeping and scrubbing), and suddenly says, "Sara, don't step backwards."

I turn round.

Inches behind my left foot is the largest dead mouse I have ever seen in my life. :P :o Broken neck, bloodied fur, the full works.

I give vent to an ear-shattering squeal :-[ (look, I can handle live ones, just not...the other sort), jump with shock and ALMOST tread in the slug-vomit mess, DF jumps too at the noise, and cat leaps yowling out of window convinced we're crazy.

Saint DF disposes of dead rodent and I clear up the slug. Cat slinks back shamefacedly 2 hours later.

DF points out that it's good practice for if we ever have kids.

I point out that if I ever have slug-devouring, mouse-slaughtering children, our priest will be on speed-dial for fast and rigorous exorcisms.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: milosparront on June 01, 2007, 03:14:12 PM
My mother once hosted a fairly formal eveing outdoors cocktail shindig years back. She spent weeks preparing and all day stressing, cleaning and cooking. She was dressed to the nines and trying to be perfect. About 30 min into the party, she's talking to a guest, hears a noise, looks up.... and catches a load of bird doo right in the mouth.

My mother's EXTREMELY type-A and perfectionist. It was pretty funny to watch the fall-out. :P



O.M.G.!!!  YOU owe me a new computer monitor!!!  LOL!!!   :o
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Wulfie on June 01, 2007, 03:34:54 PM
I was in Search and Rescue and went to put a gentleman in a bodybag (he had passed away quite a while before we found him) and his head rolled across my foot and down the hill! SHUDDER! I had to toss those boots. I couldn't even look at them without feeling it again!  :-X

On the flip side. I met my hubby when we were assigned to the team together to go find the head! Talk about the funny looks when people asked how we met. "Over someones dead body." :)
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: White Dragon on June 01, 2007, 06:40:31 PM
Oh, let's see...Warning - Third entry should be viewed with care

Dh is changing dd's diaper.
Like the good dad he is, he puts one hand on the baby as he bends down to place the dirty diaper in the pail.
Just as hubby's head is level with the table, dd sneezes.
The force shot poop out of baby and all over dh's face...

I finished the change while he showered baby poop out of his beard.

And then there was:

A mom I know checked on what her toddler had in her mouth.
A mouse's head.
.
.
.
.


And a dad I know found his toddler sucking on a dead mouse - with a torn up and empty abdomen.

Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Shoo on June 01, 2007, 10:00:27 PM
The other day me, dh, and dd were all outside in the backyard, just hanging out.  I was fiddling with the sprinklers or something.  I overheard a conversation between dh and dd.  There was something on the deck railing.  They were examining it and dh said, "Oh, look, dd!  A cocoon!  It looks like something has just broken free of it!"  Dd was so excited.  She wondered what it was.  A butterfly?  A moth?  It must have been something really kewl! 

I didn't think much of it, myself.  But the next day, when I was sweeping of the deck, I got a look at the "cocoon" myself.  I shook my head, went inside, and broke the news to Dh.  "Dh, you know that cocoon you and dd found yesterday?  Um, yeah.  That's a hairball.  Bella must have barfed it up on the deck railing."
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Ferrets on June 02, 2007, 05:31:12 AM
DF points out that it's good practice for if we ever have kids.

I point out that if I ever have slug-devouring, mouse-slaughtering children, our priest will be on speed-dial for fast and rigorous exorcisms.

A mom I know checked on what her toddler had in her mouth.
A mouse's head.
.
.
.
.


And a dad I know found his toddler sucking on a dead mouse - with a torn up and empty abdomen.

OK...I'll PM you with the number for that priest... ;) >:D
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Harriet Jones on June 02, 2007, 07:37:16 AM
We get some large-ish spiders in our basement. If they leave me alone, I leave them alone, but this one was crawling in some laundry.  So I squished it.  When I came back with a paper towel to pick it up, most of it was gone and my toddler was in the laundry room ....  :P
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Kiwichick on June 02, 2007, 08:21:22 AM
Yesterday, actually. DS was "napping" in his crib and has recently started taking off his diaper whenever he gets the chance. You know where this one is going...

I guess he decided to make me a sculpture for Mother's Day  :P

It was EVERYWHERE! He crammed poop inside the holes where the screws go in the crib, all over the slats, all over him... :-X


I read this to Kiwiguy.  His parents walked in on him smeared from head to toe in his own cr@p.  And he'd smeared it all over himself, his clothes, his toys, his playpen...

They were horrified, he was grinning from ear to ear.  He reckons it's just like warm mud. ::)

Obviously, this was a fair few years ago (I hope)  ;).
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: milosparront on June 02, 2007, 12:35:56 PM
About a century ago, my brother and his wife came over to visit with my husband and me.  Now, mind you, my brother always had a ferocious appetite and would usually raid our fridge for something to eat. 

My husband was an avid fisherman at the time and used to keep worms in the fridge.  The worms were in Styrofoam containers and not marked easily marked to show what the item was.  Brother (hungry as usual) picked up the container of worms and opened it. 

When the light hit the sleepping slim......  the worms of course became animated and started wreathing!!!  Needless to say, my brother lost his appetite and the worms ended up on my kitchen floor!!!   >:D........  It took Bro a LONG time to get over that one!!!  LOL........  It's been about 25 years and he to this day hasn't opened my fridge door!!
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Cyndi on June 03, 2007, 04:33:08 PM
Oh boy *rubs hands together* I have a few. WARNING: VERY DISGUSTING!!!!!!!!


Gross out number 1)
A few years ago my granny(mom's stepmom) brought over some huge cucumbers from her back yard. After making several jokes of how they resembled a certain part of a man's anatomy, I put them in the bottom drawer of the fridge and forgot about them for six months.

Six months later, I opened the fridge and noticed the cucumbers. I cautiously pulled open the drawer and these things were covered in patches of black, white and brown fuzzy mold with all kinds of fuzzy juice in the bottom of the drawer. I very lightly touched one to see if it was solid enough to pick up.......and the cucumber EXPLODED. It literally exploded and splattered moldy, stinky juice all down my shirt.

Naturally, I screamed and ran to my mom, who cleaned it up while I took a very long shower.


Gross out number 2)
Church, in the middle of choir. I was on the heavy day of my period and every time I stood up I could feel chunks of my endometrium sliding out. During a hymn, somehow, I shifted my weight so that the pad tilted sideways and I felt a huge, warm gush go straight down my leg and into my shoe. Luckily I had on pants that were baggy around my legs and nobody could tell what thappened.

Ironically, that happened right as I sang the lyrics, "and the BLOOD of Christ out-poured..."

I was too ashamed to go into the restroom and have people see my leg, so I limped to the car and cleaned up at home. By some miracle I didn't get any blood or goop on my pants. My foot and the inside of the one shoe looked like a massacre, though. (and I really hated those shoes so I was glad for an excuse to toss them out!)


Gross out number 3)
Two days after I got Bernie, he started to have runny poops that turned into diarrhea. Turns out he came to us infected with Giardia(the irresponsible parent of the human variety who gave him to us swore it couldn't be from there, but our vet said if the puppy got sick within three days or less of getting him, he got infected while he was at the irresponsible parent of the human variety's). So anyway, Bernie went on antibiotics.

Well, because of this I'd wake up to find a puddle of diarrhea in the middle of his pen every morning for about a week before the antibiotics started to work. He couldn't do it on his pee/poop pad, he had to do it on the plastic. Luckily I had a sinus infection so I never had to smell it.

But then there was a day where I let him run loose a little since he'd just emptied his bowels. He ran into the front bathroom and I saw him squat by the toilet. I bolted into the bathroom and hoisted poor baby Bernie over the toilet right as he let go. I felt something hot on my hand and looked down to see my forearm and palm COVERED in yellow dog diarrhea. I started crying and screaming at my mom to GET IN HERE AND HOLD THIS DOG! I remember that she took a fricken eternity to get there, while I felt this liquid poop jiggling on my skin and imagined the bacteria seeping into my pores and bloodstream. I am a complete germophobe so having poop on me was horrifying.


There ya go.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: snoopygirl on June 03, 2007, 04:56:36 PM
I have one. This happened when I was little. So it was told to me second hand. It is rather gross so tmi alert. My sister and I were babies so we were getting a bath. My dad had us sitting on towels. We both went to the bathroom on the towels. My dad for some reason didn't see us go poopy on the towels and decided to dry our hair with the said towels. We got poopy in our hair. Eww.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: kingsrings on June 08, 2007, 01:57:00 PM
I was in Search and Rescue and went to put a gentleman in a bodybag (he had passed away quite a while before we found him) and his head rolled across my foot and down the hill! SHUDDER! I had to toss those boots. I couldn't even look at them without feeling it again!  :-X

Oh my goodness, I am stifling a big belly-laugh right now. I have a sick sense of humor and this is exactly what gets me going. I'm just visualizing that in my head. I hope his head didn't roll into a place where people were gathered, that would be quite a mood-killer. Did you sing, "This old man came rolling home" when it happened??  >:D
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: kingsrings on June 08, 2007, 02:01:18 PM
1) M brother and I filled the dishwasher to capacity and ran it. When it was over with, we opened it up and there was this huge mass of hair, dirt, food, and Lord knows what else impacted together in a square-shaped clod. We referred to it as "dinner-block".


Do not read if you're squeamish about blood




2) I had a three-week stay in the hospital once when I was 12 years old. I was constantly hooked up to an IV and one time it came a little bit loose from it's moorings and started pouring out red-colored liquid all over me, my clothes, my bed. I called in the nurse and asked if it was blood, and she said yes, it was blood mixed with the antibiotics. 
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Paper Roses on June 08, 2007, 09:39:02 PM
By comparison, I guess these aren't so bad, but they're the first to pop into my head at the moment . . .

When I was 18, I had my wisdom teeth out.  When I was in the recovery room, in and out of consciousness, I felt something like a big balloon inside my mouth, between my gum and cheek.  When the nurse came over to check on me, I asked "What's in my mouth?"  I thought maybe they had put something in there for some reason.  She said, "Huh?  Let's see.  Open up."  I did, and she covered her finger with a tissue or napkin or something and stuck it in my mouth, hooked her finger and removed it.  Her whole hand was covered in blood, and she announced, "It's a blood clot."  Of course, when she was removing it it broke and filled my entire mouth with blood . . . .


Two years ago, I had to have emergency surgery to remove 18 inches of intestine.  The first couple of days after the surgery, there was a tube up my nose and down my throat.  The tube lead to the a bottle attached to the wall behind my hospital bed.  Luckily, I couldn't see the bottle, and I was too drugged up to turn around to look.  Suffice it to say my husband told me it would be a long time before he could ever eat pesto again.


Ok, last one for now.  A few years ago, it was a summer day and I had slept a little late.  My kids had already gotten up (at least the 2 older ones had) and were downstairs watching TV.  I woke up and decided to take a shower.  When I got out of the shower, I heard the front door open.  I yelled down to my son, asking him why the front door had been opened.  He said, "I heard a car pull up and I thought it was Dad."  I asked him why on earth he thought his Dad would be coming home at 10:00 in the morning.  He said "Well, uh, I called him."  I asked him what for.  He said, "'Cause the cat brought a dead squirrel into the living room." 

I thanked him profusely for being smart enough to call his father home rather than alert me to that one.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Wulfie on June 08, 2007, 10:15:23 PM
I was in Search and Rescue and went to put a gentleman in a bodybag (he had passed away quite a while before we found him) and his head rolled across my foot and down the hill! SHUDDER! I had to toss those boots. I couldn't even look at them without feeling it again!  :-X

Oh my goodness, I am stifling a big belly-laugh right now. I have a sick sense of humor and this is exactly what gets me going. I'm just visualizing that in my head. I hope his head didn't roll into a place where people were gathered, that would be quite a mood-killer. Did you sing, "This old man came rolling home" when it happened??  >:D


Nope,we were professional about it and didn't think to sing (wish I would have. that would have been really funny!  Yes, I am warped and twisted!)

Fortunately it was in the back country on a mountain side so there was not anyone around to have it be a mood killer. I have other stories however that WERE that bad. :D
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Shoo on June 08, 2007, 10:42:23 PM
Think of how quiet the mountains are when they are covered in snow.  Even at a ski resort, it is beautifully peaceful and quiet.  You can hear for miles, it seems.

Now picture a young woman, attempting to ski for only the 2nd time in her life, going down a slope a little too advanced for her.  Picking up speed.  Careening wildly out of control.  Doing cartwheels.

Then imagine the sound of two of the bones in her leg breaking.  Imagine that sound in the quiet of the mountains.  Yes, everyone can hear it.  It is an unmistakable sound.

Still makes me shudder to remember it.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Ulla dances in a silly way on June 09, 2007, 12:11:17 AM
So, my high school was in the middle on no where in a field/wilderness kind of place. For some reason, during Spring all of these medium-sized black beetles would gather in the alcoves around all the exterior doors. They would be in big piles in the corners, carpeting the entire entry, and even spilled inside.

Ok, I hate hate HATE stepping on any kind of bug that crunches. My old Roomie and I would actually fight about who had to kill roaches. You see where this is going?

Go to school every day was not fun, but is you were careful, you could avoid all the bugs. One day in the middle of the invasion, a teacher asked if anyone in class had a truck. (Actually, she asked if any boys in the class had a truck because she needed someone to take some tables the school borrowed back to a local church. None did and I was quite proud of myself to raise my hand and assert my manliness :p ) So, me and a friend carry the tables out to my truck.

You can't dodge bugs when walking backward and carrying a 6 ft. table. Imagine a carpet of bugs, in flip flops, and knowing that you'll have to make this trip at least six times. Bleh...


One more. I was at work and my manager asked if I would sweep the bathroom. Sure, no problem, I don't mind sweeping.

Except this time. In just the ladies room, I found a used diaper, wadded up used toilet paper (why??!! People have told me that in some countries you don't flush toilet paper down the toilet. Well, if I went to those countries, people would expect me to know that and not flush it. It would be considered rude of me to ignore the local practice. Can I not expect the same respect?) and, worst of all, period stained panties.

Blech....

-Ulla
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Paper Roses on June 09, 2007, 10:47:59 AM
Bugs in flip-flops?  Sounds pretty cool, actually.  Although i didn't know they made flip-flops that small.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Shoo on June 09, 2007, 10:53:25 AM
One more. I was at work and my manager asked if I would sweep the bathroom. Sure, no problem, I don't mind sweeping.

Except this time. In just the ladies room, I found a used diaper, wadded up used toilet paper (why??!! People have told me that in some countries you don't flush toilet paper down the toilet. Well, if I went to those countries, people would expect me to know that and not flush it. It would be considered rude of me to ignore the local practice. Can I not expect the same respect?) and, worst of all, period stained panties.

Blech....

-Ulla

I used to work at a place where there were a lot of people from other countries working there.  There were signs in all the bathroom stalls that said, "Please put your used toilet paper IN the toilet and NOT on the floor."

Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Ulla dances in a silly way on June 09, 2007, 11:27:13 AM
Yeah, it's amazing. They're really annoying when they walk down the hall, though....  :P
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Paper Roses on June 09, 2007, 03:46:50 PM
Yeah, it's amazing. They're really annoying when they walk down the hall, though....  :P

I would imagine so.  That ever so annoying "thwap-thwap-thwap" sound, millions of times over.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: White Dragon on June 09, 2007, 09:32:04 PM
Bugs in flip-flops?  Sounds pretty cool, actually.  Although i didn't know they made flip-flops that small.

Did you read the news report?

Apparently after 3.6 million dollars and 10 years of research scientists have finally figured out that the left on is the "flip" and the right one is the "flop."
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: White Dragon on June 09, 2007, 09:33:35 PM
Quote

Then imagine the sound of two of the bones in her leg breaking.  Imagine that sound in the quiet of the mountains.  Yes, everyone can hear it.  It is an unmistakable sound.
Still makes me shudder to remember it.

Probably the exact same sound as when a cow kicks you in the arm....

Can anyone say "orthopedic surgery"?
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Shoo on June 09, 2007, 10:14:52 PM
Rdge, you woke up in the bathtub covered in.....erm, you-know-what?
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: CutebutPsycho on June 11, 2007, 10:08:50 AM
I was eating a McGross burger one day, and had mowed through about the first half of it. I took another bite, and saw - to my horror - a big black hair coming out of the burger. I pulled the burger away and realized that about 8" of the hair was already halfway down my esophagus. I immediately dropped the burger and slapped my hands over my mouth but it could not be contained. The vomit spewed through my fingers and out my nose, all over the kitchen table. I was ejecting little bits of burger from my sinus cavity for about three days afterward!!!

When my brother and SIL first moved in together, they got a kitten. For some reason, she didn't like the litter box very much - and pooped in my brother's hand while he was sleeping. You can see where this is going right? Something tickled my brother's face so he brought his hand up to brush it away. He awoke with a face - and mouth - full of cat poo. EWWWWW!!!!
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: ButterflieRJ on June 11, 2007, 02:10:11 PM
Trixie, my ever-cute and full-of-personality pooch loves to toy with bugs, much like a cat, before she eats them.  Imagine her joy when we visited my parents house and there were a ton of CICADAS (you know, the icky, red-eyed 17-year ones?) in the grass just waiting for her to disable and bat around before consuming.  See, we don't have cicadas by us, for whatever blessed reason.

The vet said they were ok to eat, the news reports said they were ok, and a few random websites said they were ok.  So what's the harm in it?  She was having fun, it was cute, and they weren't out in full swarm yet, so she really only ate between 5 and 7... or 10.  Not including however many my mom DIDN'T catch her eating, 'cause the devious little thing (the dog, not my mom) kept faking that she had to go out to go play with (and eat) more of them.

Headed home about 30 minutes later to drop the dog off and head to BF's bro's house.  I called him to let him know I was on my way and would be there in about an hour and a half.  I put my cell in it's customary place in my cup holder and it didn't make that tell-tale sound it usually does.  "Well crud, I must have dropped it between the seats" I thought.  Luckily I peeked instead of just reaching down... because the dog had puked.  In the cup holder, on my gearshift, on my $12 tube of lipgloss, on my cell charger cord, on the floor, in the parking brake housing, and a smidge on the seat.  The reason my cell didn't make it's customary sound?  I'd put it down in dog puke.

I nearly caused an accident slamming on my brakes and swerving in shock and disgust.  I gagged numerous times, rolled the windows all down (it stank), and eventually made it to a sidestreet, where I pulled over, found 1 untouched napkin, wiped of my cell (which wasn't TOO badly gunked up) and called my uncle--lucky for me I was less than 1 minute from their house and I was POSITIVE they had a wet-vac... could I borrow it?  "Sure, come on over!... No, we don't have any cicadas," he said.

Well, he didn't intend for me to use it THERE, and I wasn't going to take it home (no hose to rinse it out with--live in an apartment).  I didn't want to wait 30+ minutes to get to a carwash to use a $2.00+ per minute vacuum.  I was tossed a roll of paper towels, some antibacterial all-surface cleaner and a garbage bag.

Let me tell you, dog puke I'm ok with.  I can clean it up without gagging totally fine.

But when there's wings, legs, other random body parts and HORRID red beady eyes staring back at you... I can't.  It took me 25 minutes to clean up.  My uncle watched, holding the dog, who also watched... both of them looking THOROUGHLY amused (did I mention that the dog is Ms. Personality-Plus?).

I *was* kinda excited for the cicadas... I remember the last time they came out.

Let me tell you, I'm SOOOOO over them.  I gag thinking about cleaning that car up...
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: ILikeShinny on June 12, 2007, 01:11:16 AM
erm - yep.  :-[  :'( That and more (I told you it was gross! :o :-X).  Hospital said it was some kind of 24 hour flu-bug (they didnt really know), because I woke up the next day fine (a little weak, but ok).  I honestly dont know how I made it to the phone to call my bf (actually dont remember), but he said I wasnt making sense on the phone, so he knew something was wrong, and made record time to my house.  When I got home from the hospital, my house was spotless - which is another reason I love my bf. 

Ok, even though this forum is anonymous, I feel really exposed right now.

I had the same bug, but luckily for me I had relieved myself before the vomiting started.

Our cats are dumb, and over eat sometimes. One night, our youngest cat, Debo, through up and down the stair case and pooped on the top step. You can imagine how happy my mother was about the present Debo left her, especially when she stepped in the vomit. ;D

I got constipated years ago, did you know they don't do enemas in the restroom? I was so constipated that they had to use a milk and molasses enema. As yummy as that sounds, it was not. It smelled horrible. The moment the gave me it, I had to go. Right then, and the restroom was fifty feet down the hall. It went every where as I tried to do a mad dash to the bathroom. It got on my socks, and they got lost and never washed. You can't even imagine how they smelt when I fount them months later.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: White Dragon on June 13, 2007, 10:00:03 AM
This was my day yesterday...

The car needed to go into the shop, so I dropped dh at work and got the car in first thing.
I expected it to take some time, but I had planned ahead.
I had a book to finish, an errand to run at a BigStore nearby and, most importantly, a Tim Horton's* to hang out in. (*Dougnut place)

I settle in to Tim's with a coffee and my book.

Two large coffees, one book and about 4 hours later, "nature calls".
Since BigStore is now open for my errand and I want to stretch my legs, I gather up all my things and head to the ladies room.
As I rise, I see from the small smudge on the seat that I have suffered a...feminine incident...
Urrrkkkkk!!!!!!
Casually wipe seat with napkin as though brushing away crumbs. Smudge remains....urrrk!
Can't give it too much attention, people are already glancing my way.

Hastily don jacket and hope it's long enough to cover any damage to my clothing.
Strategically hold packages to enhance this effect. Fortunately, there is just enough of a crowd that holding items "fore and aft" of my body looks like I'm trying to not crowd any one.

As I flee for the ladies room, I'm hastily concocting Plans.

Plan A - any stains on my outerwear can be cleaned up and covered by the jacket.
Plan B - stain is too large. Clean as best possible, cover with jacket and flee to BigStore to buy new pants etc. (Still expecting several hours before car is ready, so need to be out in public for a while yet.)

Appendix to all Plans - find a way to clean up the smudge!!!! I may be the only one who notices it, but I darn well know it's there!!! And I am NOT, in the name of the Great Squicky, going to leave it there!!!! (Note - I am probably the only person on the planet to whom the Smudge was glaringly obvious as it was really a small Smudge, but to me it was HUGE!

Finally reach the haven of the ladies room.
Discover that Plan A is workable - thank the Great Squicky for dark jeans!!!
Dampen, blot, press multiple times until self is presentable again. Especially if Stratigic Coat Deployment is used.
Thank Great Squicky for spare supplies in purse.

Wait till washroom is empty. Grab a bunch of tissues, dampen them and place in jacket pocket. Prepare to return to the scene of the crime.

...which is now occupied by someone having lunch...
Not sitting in the smudge, mind you, but I can't very well walk up and clean up the seat now can I?
Not only will that condemn me to EHell, but the Great Squicky will probably cause them to barf their lunch all over me in retaliation for bringing up the smudge while they are dining.

Slink out and try to formulate a Plan C....

Plan C

1. Kill time until lunch eaters are probably done.
2. Purchase newspaper for Cunning Plan Decoy.
3. Go back to Tim Hortons. Buy a sandwich and bottle of water.
4. Eat and read paper until Crime Scene is vacant.
5. Mosey over towards ladies room and reposition at Crime Scene Table.

Happily, I was able to straight from Step 2 to the Crime Scene, as the table was now vacant.

Place purse on seat over Smudge.
Eat a bit of sandwich.
Using water bottle, dampen napkin as though wiping sandwich from fingers.
Still "inadvertantly" holding napkin, turn as though digging in purse.

Remove Smudge!!!! Scrub repeatedly! Freshen napkin. Repeat.
Breathe sigh of relief.

Finish lunch. Read paper. Go home and post on Ehell....
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: jamiescudder on June 14, 2007, 02:01:55 AM
My sister had gotten a puppy shortly before I went to visit her  one time. For one of our dinners while I was there she made chicken. As we all sat around eating the puppy went from person to person getting bites. Each of her three children gave the puppy the last of their chicken when they were full. My sister eventually forbade any more sharing with the puppy.

As everyone was finishing up my sister went into the kitchen to start the cleanup process. That's when she discovered that the puppy had gotten onto the counter and eaten an entire breast on top of everything else he had been fed. She hollered into the room where we were to be sure that all the chicken was picked up since it was obvious that puppy had had way too much already.

I looked in the floor next to me and noticed a piece of chicken lying there, so I figured I'd clean it up and keep her kids from getting in trouble. As I was picking it up it fell apart and was a huge mess. It was with the second handful that I realized that it was puppy puke.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: geordicat on June 15, 2007, 02:36:46 PM
Can I say that I started reading this thread about a 1/2 hour ago, and it has been nonstop giggles every since the first story! No wonder it took me so long to get through it!

OK, here's one of my own - and it actually happened to me.  It's akin to AV's story about her drunk friend, only much much worse (and yes, it was that time for me too).  Unfortunately, it's not quite amusing (at least not in the way baby poop is gross-but-cute, and definitely not amusing to me), but perhaps someone can see the lighter side of things...

One night I had a dream that I had woken up, walked out of my bedroom (but not before having tossed my cookies on the floor of the bedroom), and went into my bathroom because I had to use the bathroom.  Instead of sitting on the toilet, for some reason, I felt so hot (dripping sweat, seeing yellow spots, etc., etc.) I decided to get into the bathtub soas to have the maximum amount of cold ceramic touching my body (gotta love how logical I am even in my dreams).  Only in the dream, I was so confused because someone was pouring warm water on me and I couldnt get them to stop - I was soooo hot, it was unbearable.  A little while later, I woke up.

You guessed it - I hadnt been dreaming.  (WARNING: This next part is REALLY GROSS) And apparently, the 'warm water' I felt, was me losing control of all of my bodily functions at the same time. 



My boyfriend is a saint, I tell you. 

I gotta admit - I've done that.  I was so sick that I couldn't think and I was dreaming that I had to go to the bathroom and for some reason convinced myself that if I dreamt I was on the toilet I was good to go.

Well, I went.. but was still in bed.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Kimblee on June 15, 2007, 03:29:24 PM
I stepped on a live rat once..... smashed its cute little body over the kitchen.... but it was still screaming.

My stepdad finished it off with a hammer and put me back in therapy. (I had been out of a mental institute for a grand total of six hours when this happened.)
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Ohjustlovely on June 15, 2007, 07:48:50 PM
Once I was vacuuming, thought perhaps I could hurry up by picking up the little bits of lint.  One dark piece of lint -- turned out to be a black spider. What kind? Who cares.  Brrr.
++++
Gross story afterwards, don't read if you don't want to get grossed out.
One time at work I sneezed, felt a little damp "down there."  Went to the ladies' restroom.  Found out I had my period a little early.  Not just any period, a monster.  All over my panties, pantyhose, running down my legs.  Wouldn't stop dripping.  I kept wiping, cleaning my panties and pantyhose, etc.  Was in there for something like an hour.  This is a one-person restroom, and I feel self-conscious that my coworkers who saw me go in are wondering why I am in there so long.  I am flushing and flushing, and I think they could hear that. 

There is no feminine products in there.  I use papertowels, but they get all bloodied and I have to start over again. Oh, and I have to wash the floor and around the toilet too.  I walk out, so self-conscious, walking like someone with a mattress between her legs because of extra paper towels.  I have some extra paper towels hidden under my arm so I can put them on the chair so that I don't wet the chair with my wet panties.  Too embarrassed to tell anybody, so I wait until everyone leaves for lunch and I leave to go home and change.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Miss Misery on June 17, 2007, 09:18:25 AM
This happened last year.

I was at work and was getting ready to go out and get some lunch. I happened to look down at my chair and see a weird dark spot. Yup, it was that time of the month and I had bleed through my jeans and onto the chair! At work!!!

Thankfully a co-worker was able to drive me home so I could change. (I don't have a car and wasn't about to ride the bus like that. If co-worker hadn't been able to drive me home I would have asked her to run to the nearby department store to buy me some jeans and undies).

I had to toss those jeans because the stain wouldn't come out. The stain did come out of the chair, though.  ;D
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: alohomora on June 22, 2007, 02:48:55 PM

Here's mine:

About 10 years ago, I went with some friends to a local 24 hour restaurant for an early breakfast.  It was around 3am, and the bars had just closed.  We were sat at a booth in front of 2 men, one was eating salad.  For you to get this, here's a map, because I am not sure how this happened the way it did:

                                 | Our table | |Their table |
                                 |          ME| |1 guy- SGuy|

My back was to the salad guy.  All of a sudden I hear this single loud HACK! and get hit in the back of the head with a steaming wad of salad.  Somehow he projectile vomited from his side of the table, missed his friend, and hit me, sitting at the next table almost 5 feet away.

I scream, and end up trying to wash puke out of my hair in the tiny bathroom.  Luckily, I had another shirt in my car and changed.  Just as I come out, the waitress brings my eggs over medium.  Which of course, I couldn't eat.   >:(

I am so sorry that happened to you... but my keyboard is wet and salty from my tears of laughter.   :D
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: alohomora on June 22, 2007, 02:52:44 PM
Oh, let's see...Warning - Third entry should be viewed with care

Dh is changing dd's diaper.
Like the good dad he is, he puts one hand on the baby as he bends down to place the dirty diaper in the pail.
Just as hubby's head is level with the table, dd sneezes.
The force shot poop out of baby and all over dh's face...

I finished the change while he showered baby poop out of his beard.


Ok.  You win the "Buy Catlady a new monitor contest."   ;D 
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Ferrets on June 22, 2007, 03:51:13 PM
I had a scaffold bar piercing done in my left ear (2 holes in the cartilage, so one bar can cross through both), at a different place than the one I usually go to, simply because, with the latter's opening hours, it would be a few weeks before I could get to my regular shop (Mistake #1). They put what seemed to me unnecessarily large (as in diameter) plastic retainers through the holes, gave me a bottle of sterilising solution, and sent me on my way.

Later that night, it started to HURT. And swelled up quite a bit. I thought I might have to take them out, but my ear wasn't so swollen it had reached the whole length of the bars, and I decided one night of nasty pain would be worth it (Mistake #2). So, I put a lot of sterilising solution on, and went to bed (lying, of course, on my right side).

Eesh. I was tossing and turning with the pain, which was now VERY severe to the point of bringing tears, frustratedly drifting in and out of sleep, and felt feverish (I wasn't, but felt as if I was...if that makes sense. I felt like a swooning heroine ;)). I was sweating profusely, which was driving me mad - the whole left side of my face and hair was soaked, sticky and making me itch, and I kept batting at it and scratching.

After 2 hours of this (which felt like 2 years), I muttered to half-asleep (marvellously patient, not-a-word-of-complaint-or-irritation) DF that I was going to go and stick some antiseptic cream on my ear to try and soothe it.

I stumbled into the bathroom, turned on the light...

...and SCREAMED.

It wasn't sweat. The entire left side of my head and face was covered in bright red blood. :o

My ear (still horribly, piercingly painful) had swollen up to gigantic proportions. I could see the blood pumping merrily out of my piercing wounds as I watched (forgive the disgusting analogy, but [pale font: highlight to see] you know the way chocolate fountains just keep going in perpetual motion? Yes...quite...) :P

Well, I lost it. I carried on screaming until DF staggered into the bathroom, then gibbered to him that I was bleeding and I REALLY needed to get the dingdangity things out NOW.

DF was GREAT. He tried to help me get the retainer bars out (too painful - I kept squawking), he kept passing me tissue, he held the mirror so I could try to remove them, he talked soothingly to me, reassurred me I'd be OK, but that he'd get me in a taxi to the hospital if I wanted  or if the bleeding wouldn't stop.

It took over half an hour to get those dingdangity things out (sticky, slippery, shaking hands), and I was bleeding constantly all the while. And whimpering and incoherently whining that it wouldn't stop, it wouldn't STOP, I was haemorrhaging and might DIE... ::) (I know, I know. I was panicked).

Managed eventually to remove them. Sanitised and antisepticed my ear to within an inch of its life, and stumbled back to bed.

It was only a dull ache by morning, and I did manage to salvage the top hole, which hadn't swollen much at all. The lower one...I had a cauliflower ear for a week after, and was terrified it'd stay like that (it didn't :)).

I still haven't a clue why that happened.They used a new, sterile needle, and I had no infection from it. I think they maybe shouldn't have put such thick retainers into new holes...

But I'm never going back there. >:(

I don't care if I have to wait a year for my usual place (same one which does my tattoos); I've never had any bad reaction to anything done there. :)
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: alohomora on June 22, 2007, 07:12:50 PM
Oh boy *rubs hands together* I have a few. WARNING: VERY DISGUSTING!!!!!!!!


Gross out number 2)
Church, in the middle of choir. I was on the heavy day of my period and every time I stood up I could feel chunks of my endometrium sliding out. During a hymn, somehow, I shifted my weight so that the pad tilted sideways and I felt a huge, warm gush go straight down my leg and into my shoe. Luckily I had on pants that were baggy around my legs and nobody could tell what thappened.

Ironically, that happened right as I sang the lyrics, "and the BLOOD of Christ out-poured..."

I was too ashamed to go into the restroom and have people see my leg, so I limped to the car and cleaned up at home. By some miracle I didn't get any blood or goop on my pants. My foot and the inside of the one shoe looked like a massacre, though. (and I really hated those shoes so I was glad for an excuse to toss them out!)


There ya go.

Gross out warning----

I had a similar situation!  I was so horrified....  I was at work and was having a heavy period day.  I shifted in my seat and felt what I thought was a small clump of blood gather in my pad.  I figured it was no biggie, I would just go to the restroom and change pads.  Well, I shifted in my seat and the large clump of blood basically exploded.   :-X  I looked down at my jeans and there was blood covering the fabric between my legs and part of the way down my thighs. 

Thank goodness I had a sweater with me that day.  I tied it around my waist to hide the blood in the back, then used my purse to block the blood in the front while I slowly made my way out to my car.  I took the back stairs and went out of my way to try to avoid anyone.  It was late in the afternoon and right before the time I usually left work, so no one thought my leaving was odd. 

I think I sat on the sweater on the way home so I wouldn't mess up my car seat.  Even though no one saw me, I was completely embarrassed.  I never told anyone why I left a little early that day.   :P

Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Shea on June 22, 2007, 11:03:06 PM
 I had a similar incident with a HUGE tick, only it was on a pony and I was wearing boots so I didn't get any blood on my foot. But when I pulled the thing out, it was wriggling and when I dropped in on the ground it tried to skitter away, then popped with an audible crunch. Ick.
 Then there was the time in college when my neighbor in the dorm had an infestation of small red and black beetles known as box alder bugs. They were living in between her window and her screen; I mean hundreds of them. She requested that the maintenence people come and get rid of them. They did (two weeks after she put in the request), but when she returned to her room she found that while the exterminator had indeed killed the bugs, he had not removed them. So now she had a window FULL of toxic beetle corpses :-X. Not a pretty sight.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: afbluebelle on June 23, 2007, 01:05:05 AM
We had a mass blood donating session in basic, we were basically training dummies for the medical tech students, and the blood goes into an Armed Forces blood bank.  I got a tech that put the needle in too shallow, and tried to stick it back in at the wrong angle.  I'm still not sure exactly what happend, but she ended up splitting the vein.  The needle fell out, and I wasn't watching (talking to the person on my other side).  I was racing the person I was talking to, to see who could finish first.  When I looked back over, I was spurting blood all over the floor and down my arm.  funniest look I ever saw on a TI's face.  I just sat there asking for the tech, and when the TI saw it he turned white then started yelling for the tech's supervisor...

And after all that, all I got was a couple of stitches.. and an extra cookie.  I made out like a bandit  ::)
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: jamiescudder on June 25, 2007, 12:13:52 AM
Okay, I just thought of another one. Very gross.

When I was in junior high I started my monthly curse for the first time while I was at school. I didn't know it until then, but I'm a heavy bleeder. When I discovered the problem i had blood soaking through my pants down to about knee level. Very disgusting, and very embarrassing.

I went to the nurse to ask her to call my mom so I could go change. She had me stand in front of her with my legs together and turn around. Because she couldn't see any blood while I was being very careful she wouldn't let me go home. This was after I had shown her how bad the situation was. (All I had to do to show her was move my legs a little bit.) So I ended up having to stay that way all day. Talk about needing a shower.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: RegionMom on June 25, 2007, 11:20:56 AM
In 7th grade, I was on the track team, Long-distance, my (reached) goal was never to be last. 
Well, one day when it was raining, we were running IN the school building, with all the coaches watching, instead of their prepping track and field equipment and stuff outside. 
I had on a pad, only a few months earlier had I started my period so I was still new to it, and mom was NO help. 
I could feel the pad slipping, but wanted to keep a good time, especially with all the coaches watching. 
A lady coach called me over (why me?  Am I good?  Bad?)
And she told me to go take a restroom break.
Yep, the pad had indeed slipped out of place from all the running, and was SHOWING!!!
Not JUST blood, but the actual PAD. 
I have blocked out the rest of that day's memory to save my mental health...
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Samantha on June 25, 2007, 07:25:48 PM
Can I say that I started reading this thread about a 1/2 hour ago, and it has been nonstop giggles every since the first story! No wonder it took me so long to get through it!

OK, here's one of my own - and it actually happened to me.  It's akin to AV's story about her drunk friend, only much much worse (and yes, it was that time for me too).  Unfortunately, it's not quite amusing (at least not in the way baby poop is gross-but-cute, and definitely not amusing to me), but perhaps someone can see the lighter side of things...

One night I had a dream that I had woken up, walked out of my bedroom (but not before having tossed my cookies on the floor of the bedroom), and went into my bathroom because I had to use the bathroom.  Instead of sitting on the toilet, for some reason, I felt so hot (dripping sweat, seeing yellow spots, etc., etc.) I decided to get into the bathtub soas to have the maximum amount of cold ceramic touching my body (gotta love how logical I am even in my dreams).  Only in the dream, I was so confused because someone was pouring warm water on me and I couldnt get them to stop - I was soooo hot, it was unbearable.  A little while later, I woke up.

You guessed it - I hadnt been dreaming.  (WARNING: This next part is REALLY GROSS) And apparently, the 'warm water' I felt, was me losing control of all of my bodily functions at the same time. 

My boyfriend is a saint, I tell you. 


I gotta admit - I've done that.  I was so sick that I couldn't think and I was dreaming that I had to go to the bathroom and for some reason convinced myself that if I dreamt I was on the toilet I was good to go.

Well, I went.. but was still in bed.

You two aren't the only ones. :(

A few years ago, I was taking care of my boyfriend as he had the plague. I was exhausted from taking care of him (he was a baby when he was sick) and had passed out next to him in the bed. I had a dream that I had gotten up and gone to the bathroom. Well, my dream woke me up, and I went to go to the bathroom... and couldn't go, because I already had. 

I found out the next day when I went to the doctor that I had a pretty bad bladder infection, that somehow had NOT given me any pain... until after I had done that. To this day, I don't think that my ex knows what happened. I washed the sheets and everything first thing the next morning, and if he noticed that the sheets were damp in any way or questioned me doing the laundry, I told him that I had woke up in a sweat (San Diego. Middle of summer. Not a surprise.) and didn't want to sleep in sweat soaked sheets again that night.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: jamiescudder on June 26, 2007, 01:15:34 AM
When DH and I first moved into our current home it took him a little while to adjust. In the middle of the night he wouldn't wake all the way up before getting up to use the restroom and he'd think we were still at our old place. One night he peed in a corner in the hall, another night it was the closet that got it. I was glad when he finally adjusted to the move.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: minnaloushe on June 26, 2007, 10:24:51 PM
When DH and I first moved into our current home it took him a little while to adjust. In the middle of the night he wouldn't wake all the way up before getting up to use the restroom and he'd think we were still at our old place. One night he peed in a corner in the hall, another night it was the closet that got it. I was glad when he finally adjusted to the move.

My DH did that when we got a canopy for the bed.  The first night he had to get up in the middle of the night he got caught up in the curtain and turned around.  Luckily he woke me up with the rustling and I caught him before he peed behind the bedroom door.  The next time we weren't so lucky so we took the curtains down.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Paper Roses on June 26, 2007, 11:00:23 PM
When DH and I first moved into our current home it took him a little while to adjust. In the middle of the night he wouldn't wake all the way up before getting up to use the restroom and he'd think we were still at our old place. One night he peed in a corner in the hall, another night it was the closet that got it. I was glad when he finally adjusted to the move.

My DH did that when we got a canopy for the bed.  The first night he had to get up in the middle of the night he got caught up in the curtain and turned around.  Luckily he woke me up with the rustling and I caught him before he peed behind the bedroom door.  The next time we weren't so lucky so we took the curtains down.

Sounds like you needed a can o' pee to go with your canopy. ;D

Sorry.  Just that when I was very young, I desperately wanted a canopy bed, and my father would joke, "I thought the canopy belonged under the bed!"

No, it wasn't funny then either.  I just couldn't resist.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Ohjustlovely on June 27, 2007, 07:12:50 PM
Okay, I just thought of another one. Very gross.

When I was in junior high I started my monthly curse for the first time while I was at school. I didn't know it until then, but I'm a heavy bleeder. When I discovered the problem i had blood soaking through my pants down to about knee level. Very disgusting, and very embarrassing.

I went to the nurse to ask her to call my mom so I could go change. She had me stand in front of her with my legs together and turn around. Because she couldn't see any blood while I was being very careful she wouldn't let me go home. This was after I had shown her how bad the situation was. (All I had to do to show her was move my legs a little bit.) So I ended up having to stay that way all day. Talk about needing a shower.

Icky-poo, and sorry for you!  I felt so silly writing about my mess, but here you, were at least a teenager.  There I was, a woman over the age of 35 and should have been better prepared, and the bathroom being so low on tp and paper towels.  Up to that time, I never had such rotten luck.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: minnaloushe on June 27, 2007, 09:45:13 PM
When DH and I first moved into our current home it took him a little while to adjust. In the middle of the night he wouldn't wake all the way up before getting up to use the restroom and he'd think we were still at our old place. One night he peed in a corner in the hall, another night it was the closet that got it. I was glad when he finally adjusted to the move.

My DH did that when we got a canopy for the bed.  The first night he had to get up in the middle of the night he got caught up in the curtain and turned around.  Luckily he woke me up with the rustling and I caught him before he peed behind the bedroom door.  The next time we weren't so lucky so we took the curtains down.

Sounds like you needed a can o' pee to go with your canopy. ;D

Sorry.  Just that when I was very young, I desperately wanted a canopy bed, and my father would joke, "I thought the canopy belonged under the bed!"

No, it wasn't funny then either.  I just couldn't resist.

Boo Hiss

 ;D

Okay, I laughed.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: jamiescudder on June 28, 2007, 12:39:19 AM
Sounds like you needed a can o' pee to go with your canopy. ;D

Sorry.  Just that when I was very young, I desperately wanted a canopy bed, and my father would joke, "I thought the canopy belonged under the bed!"

No, it wasn't funny then either.  I just couldn't resist.

And jokes like this are why DH knows nothing of this site. ;D
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: mechtilde on August 19, 2007, 09:39:01 AM
What's worse than finding a dead mouse lying on your trousers?

Half a dead mouse lying on your trousers!
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Midnight Kitty on August 20, 2007, 09:26:48 PM
What's worse than finding a dead mouse lying on your trousers?

Half a dead mouse lying on your trousers!

And the corollary:

What's worse than finding a cockroach in your pork hash?

Finding half a cockroach in your pork hash! :-X

(been there, done that, retched my guts out & didn't eat pork hash for a couple years)
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Rei-chan on August 21, 2007, 03:02:07 PM

Midnight Kitty, my Dad told me once that he had a similar experience with canned BBQ, except it was a rat's tail, right on top when he opened the can......
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Fabrashamx on August 21, 2007, 04:41:41 PM
 Okay, when I told my husband this first one, he wouldnt kiss me for about a month lol

 I was the youngest of 4 kids. Once we were on vacation and had stopped for gas. For some reason, I was allowed to use the restroom alone, even though I was only about 4 and my mom usually came with me spraying lysol on everything she saw.

As I was washing my hands, I saw it. on the floor. a party horn! I put it in my mouth and went back to the car, tooting happily. I climb in the back seat and my sister is staring at me with a weird look on her face. she says 'mommmm look at what Lainey has in her mouth,please'.

 Next thing I know, I was whisked out of the car by my mother, who has slapped my cool new party horn out of my mouth and is screaming for my sister to get the listerine out of the suitcases. she poured it all over my head and made me drink some.

I was a tampon applicator. Why did I think it was a party horn? partly the shape and partly because I could see 'lipstick' where some one had tooted it before me!  :P
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This next one happened many years later. One of my dear friends at the time was a sweet mormon lady who had 6, count them, 6 sons, ranging in age from about 13 to about 3. My own sons at the time were in grade school, and one summer we decided to take all the kids camping for a week, and have our hubbys join us on the first and last weekends.
 This was about the third day, we decided to hike the trail that went around the lake. The trail was kind of on a hill, so we looked down a slope at the lake and peoples campsites.

 We came around a curve and saw the young lady. we could see her family in their campsite, she had walked up hill to do her business, and was hiding behind a tree, pants around her ankles, pooping, and peeking back at her family to make sure no one was coming. Here we were, 10 feet above and behind her, with what could only be her worst nightmare, 8 boys who see her and begin to fall about laughing. we were trying to hush the boys and move them away from the poor girl.

 She shot us a look of purest horror and began to kind of crab walk around the tree to hide. Then I saw it. the sign.

what did it say, you ask?

'View point #2. No Dumping'

I LOST it. I was laughing harder than the boys and couldnt walk. The girl got her pants up and fled, and my friend dragged us all away giving me looks of deep disappointment. when I pointed out the sign, even she had to giggle. The boys still talk about 'view point #2'.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Bibliophile on August 21, 2007, 04:43:37 PM

I was a tampon applicator. Why did I think it was a party horn? partly the shape and partly because I could see 'lipstick' where some one had tooted it before me!  :P

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!  I hope she used lots of Listerine!!!
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Bibliophile on August 21, 2007, 04:56:34 PM
erm - yep.  :-[  :'( That and more (I told you it was gross! :o :-X).  Hospital said it was some kind of 24 hour flu-bug (they didnt really know), because I woke up the next day fine (a little weak, but ok). 

I had that a few months ago...  I was up all night puking into the toilet when before I knew it, I had to clean up the floor behind me...  I then switched to sitting on the toilet and puking into a bucket.  My DH slept through the whole thing and I was too embarassed to wake him.  I didn't tell him why I didn't want to take the bathroom rug when we moved...
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Sneezy on August 22, 2007, 11:27:29 PM
My first day of waitressing alone, I was called over to a table by a very snotty woman who had been giving us all grief since she walked in the door.  She thrust a plate of eggs benedict at me and said, 'Take this away!'  I grabbed the plate, since it was airborne right then and I didn't want it to go all over the place.

It was not eggs benedict.  It was a two egg breakfast that her seven year old son had puked on. 

She demanded a fresh breakfast and 25% taken off of her bill for a party of four.  She did not, however, tend to her sick son in any way, shape, or form that any of us could detect.  Lovely.

I don't remember if the manager gave her the discount, but I got brownie points with the busboy when I scraped that plate and put it on the rack to save him from having to deal with it.  I figured if I was already holding the plate and was contaminated, no sense in making someone else suffer.

At another job, I worked at the best place in the city for a certain type of cuisine.  Unfortunately, the only soap in the place was the pink stuff for the coffee pots.  It wasn't a good place to work for many reasons, but my gross out moment was when I had to pull vegetables out of the cooler.  The fridge was in a room that had no light since the fuse blew years ago and there was no light in the fridge.  He bought in bulk because it was cheaper, so putting my hand into the cooler in the dark was pretty gross.  I learned there that tomatoes can grow three or more types of mold, all on top of one another and that lettuce can liquefy into a blue sludge.  He would cut off the gross stuff and serve the rest.  The health inspector would come in periodically and he'd pay the inspector off. 
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: hermanne on August 23, 2007, 10:51:41 AM
At another job, I worked at the best place in the city for a certain type of cuisine.  Unfortunately, the only soap in the place was the pink stuff for the coffee pots.  It wasn't a good place to work for many reasons, but my gross out moment was when I had to pull vegetables out of the cooler.  The fridge was in a room that had no light since the fuse blew years ago and there was no light in the fridge.  He bought in bulk because it was cheaper, so putting my hand into the cooler in the dark was pretty gross.  I learned there that tomatoes can grow three or more types of mold, all on top of one another and that lettuce can liquefy into a blue sludge.  He would cut off the gross stuff and serve the rest.  The health inspector would come in periodically and he'd pay the inspector off. 

Um, please tell me this guy's not in business anymore...  :o
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Sneezy on August 23, 2007, 11:45:50 PM
Um, please tell me this guy's not in business anymore...  :o

No, he ended up retiring about five years after I quit.  People still lament that place closing.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Schmoopie3928 on September 14, 2007, 10:07:31 AM
As most of you may know, the local slug forces are attempting to push forward their frontier into our house.

The other night, I heard the cat hacking in the living-room. I went in - cat was fine, but he'd been sick on the carpet. "Oh dear, poor baby, are you alright? Good! Eww...Mum'll just clean this up..."

DF comes downstairs asking if he can help. I say no, bend down to the mess, and:

"EWW! There's a WHOLE SLUG in here!" :o Well, that explains a lot. ::)

It gets worse.

DF makes a move to get the cat litter (to pour over the mess to blot up the fluid element, so to speak, before sweeping and scrubbing), and suddenly says, "Sara, don't step backwards."

I turn round.

Inches behind my left foot is the largest dead mouse I have ever seen in my life. :P :o Broken neck, bloodied fur, the full works.

I give vent to an ear-shattering squeal :-[ (look, I can handle live ones, just not...the other sort), jump with shock and ALMOST tread in the slug-vomit mess, DF jumps too at the noise, and cat leaps yowling out of window convinced we're crazy.

Saint DF disposes of dead rodent and I clear up the slug. Cat slinks back shamefacedly 2 hours later.

DF points out that it's good practice for if we ever have kids.

I point out that if I ever have slug-devouring, mouse-slaughtering children, our priest will be on speed-dial for fast and rigorous exorcisms.

OW! My cheeks hurt! I can't....stop......laughing!!  CRUD MONKEYS! CRUD MONKEYS! CRUD MONKEYS!!!  :D
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Schmoopie3928 on September 14, 2007, 10:23:35 AM
So when my brother was a teenager he had acne. not horrible...but once in a while he'd get a doozy. Being his sister, I could deal with popping them for him on occasion. Once he had a huge one in his ear. It hurt him like heck and was driving my mom and I nuts looking at it. So one day, we hold him down and tell him it HAS to go! so mom brings me tweezers, and alcohol, and tissues! he puts his head in my lap and I'm ready to go. I barely touch the thing when it explodes! I heard it snap about 3 times and in my shock of course, my mouth falls open! Yep. Pus flies on my chin and in my mouth! Needless to say I never popped a zit on him again! Thank got hes 23 now and has clear skin!

Don't get me started on a HUGE blackhead a friend had on the back of his neck! I don't know if I can handle that one right now.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: hermanne on September 15, 2007, 08:18:24 PM
When DH and I first moved into our current home it took him a little while to adjust. In the middle of the night he wouldn't wake all the way up before getting up to use the restroom and he'd think we were still at our old place. One night he peed in a corner in the hall, another night it was the closet that got it. I was glad when he finally adjusted to the move.

My brother did something like that when he was little.

His bedroom at the time was directly across the hall from the bathroom. But to get from his bedroom door to the bathroom one had to step across the top landing for the stairs leading downstairs to the living room. My brother would also sleep-walk on occasion...

One night after we were put to bed and my parents were downstairs, my mom heard water running. She and my dad looked, and there was my brother at the top of the stairs; half-asleep, pants down, scratching his behind, and peeing down the stairs.  :P

Oh, my, what to do! Mom and dad didn't want to yell at him, he might get scared and fall down the stairs. On the other hand they didn't want to go up and get sprayed by his waterfall!  :o

What mom finally did was to go part-way up the stairs and call his name gently but firmly. It woke him up enough to realize what he was doing!

My brother gets a doopy grin every time my mom tells the story.  :D

(When my parents re-modeled the house, the moved the doors so they weren't across from each other anymore.)
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Sandi Papaya on September 16, 2007, 05:07:21 PM
We have an ant problem every summer. A few summers ago, it got so bad that you couldn't walk two feet without stepping on ants - usually we could just spray the ants and set up some ant traps and they'd go away. Not so that year (we ended up having to call an exterminator, because they'd go away for a couple of days, then come back again, and in greater numbers).

Anyway, one day I had brought a Coke back to my room and set it on my nightstand. I went to take a sip...and found my mouth and  tongue coated in horrible, pinching, painful things...ANTS!

They'd gotten onto my bedside table and crawled up into my glass of Coke. I ran to the bathroom and brushed my teeth and spit the ants out as best I could. Ick!!
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: White Dragon on September 19, 2007, 06:01:42 PM
As my 15 yo DD found out last week...

What's worse than finding a dead mouse on your bedroom floor?

Finding half a mouse!

Thank you kitty cat! NOT!
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Midnight Kitty on September 19, 2007, 06:53:37 PM
I have a rodent/cat horror story from back when I lived in Northern California in a suburban single family detached house.  We had 3 female cats and a cat door so they could go in & out at will.  Usually "gifts" of dead rodents were left outside on the stoop.  One morning I awoke to a scene from a horror flick:  Blood streaking the bottom 3 feet of my walls.  Yep, the girls caught a baby squirrel and brought it inside to torture it.  The squirrel was larger than the mice they usually caught & killed quickly.  They were able to maim the squirrel, but not disable or kill it, so it ran around the house, climbing the walls trying to get out/away.

Poor little squirrel :'(

We also had a female dog.  GingerBear was a Golden Retriever/White Shepard mix with severe hip dysplasia.  One morning I came out to find the dog laying down in the hallway with her head on her front paws and 3 cats lined up around her in an arc.  I lifted her head to find a live mouse cuddled in there.  Yep, the dog was protecting the mouse from those vicious cats.  That would be the soft-mouthed Golden half.  A month or so later, we saw the "other half" come out.

GingerBear liked to go visit our horses, especially at feeding time because she loved the omaline mix (grain with molasses).  My mare, Foxy Lady, didn't mind sharing her grain with GB.  GB, however, drew the line at sharing grain with mice.  I opened the grain barrel & found a mouse in there.  I threw the barrel down on its side and the mouse ran out.  GB snapped that mouse up & broke its neck in a split second.  That would be the Shepard half.  Then she dug frantically at the stable foundation until she unearthed the mouse nest with nearly a dozen baby mice.  As those baby mice fled the nest, GB whirled and snapped, catching and killing all the baby mice before they could escape.  For a dog crippled by hip dysplasia, it was an impressive demonstration.

The way I see it, GingerBear was good with small children and small, defenseless creatures, hence her protection of the mouse in the hallway.  Then she saw the mouse eating HER grain and her perspective changed.  From then on, she was the best mouser, even crippled and unable to run.  I took her with me almost everywhere.  When I didn't have her, people would ask for her & say "be sure you bring Ginger next time."  Especially the feed store.  They wouldn't sell me hay or grain unless I brought her along.  They said she was a better mouser than any cat because she didn't play around.  Cats like to trap the mouse & play with it (aka torture it to death).  Ginger went into killer mode.  No blood involved.  She could snap their necks with a jerk of her head.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Kimblee on September 22, 2007, 11:39:14 AM
As my 15 yo DD found out last week...

What's worse than finding a dead mouse on your bedroom floor?

Finding half a mouse!

Thank you kitty cat! NOT!

Today I got a beautiful live snake.... its ina  tank in my room....

My cats are bizzarre, they bring me live snakes and dead liazrds, never mice.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Kendo_Bunny on September 26, 2007, 10:36:33 PM
For awhile I had a cat who decided she didn't like our other cats. She registered her disapproval by pissing on my bed. More than once, I rolled over to a puddle of cat piss. I gave her back, and apparently she never had that problem again.

Also, for a little while my sweetie lived with me. I was very sick with a tonsil infection and stomach bug, and he was just wonderful the whole time. However, we started kissing one night, and he squeezed me too tight... I literally tossed him off and sprinted to the bathroom to throw up. The angel actually tied my hair back for me and went to the kitchen to get me some cold ginger ale. A week later, I was feeling brave again, and so he started doing nice things to relax me. Again, I had to toss him to go puke. Luckily I managed not to puke on him both times, but I was heartily embarrassed just the same.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Minmom3 on September 29, 2007, 01:46:01 PM
I have two.  One is probably my eldest daughter's gross out, one is mine from several years before that.

1)  We're trying to find a good beach, girls are being extremely picky.  We keep parking by side of highway and tromping to go look at 'that beach', or 'that beach', or 'this beach'.  We're in beachwear - flipflops, short shorts and tops.  DD starts screaming something fierce and hopping around, getting louder with each jump.  There was a dead (and open) mouse that she stepped on, and somehow, the mouse got caught between her foot and the strap of the flipflop, bouncing around as she screeched and leaped.  We, or course, mom and younger sisters, and laughing hysterically.  I had to pick her up to stop her long enough to get the shoe off and the mouse gone...

2)  Girls have stomach flue.  All night long.  I'm carrying DD#1 from bedroom to bathroom, hoping we're going to make it in time, when I feel that we are NOT, in fact, going to make it in time.  She has puked down my back, in my hair (long,a nd down to be waist), and it's sliding off my hair and onto the back of my leg, and dropping onto the carpet.  At 2 in the morning.  I am not pleased, and roust DH out of bed to "come help me, cuss it all to tarnation!".  "But I made them barf buckets".  "Yes, you did, but they're not using them...."

They puked all over the beds, each others pillows, the floor, me, the floor..........   :-X  I did laundry ALL the next day.  The whole house stunk. 
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: hermanne on September 30, 2007, 08:13:30 PM
When DD was a few months old, she spit up straight down my cleavage.  :P
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: bigozzy on October 01, 2007, 05:15:15 AM
I can not stop thinking of lawn mowing when I was a boy in Queensland, Australia 35 yeras ago. It was not dog poo I hit in the long grass but one of the large cane toads that infested our area! Daaaddddddddd..... :-X
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: hermanne on October 01, 2007, 12:09:57 PM
I can not stop thinking of lawn mowing when I was a boy in Queensland, Australia 35 yeras ago. It was not dog poo I hit in the long grass but one of the large cane toads that infested our area! Daaaddddddddd..... :-X

EEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWW..........   :P

When we were teenagers, my brother ran over a fairly large garter snake with the lawn mower. He then held up what was left of it, just to gross me out. I can still picture his poo-eating grin....
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Kimblee on October 01, 2007, 12:12:18 PM
I can not stop thinking of lawn mowing when I was a boy in Queensland, Australia 35 yeras ago. It was not dog poo I hit in the long grass but one of the large cane toads that infested our area! Daaaddddddddd..... :-X

Aww!

But you must remember, as bad as that day was for you, just think about the toad's point of veiw...

Toad: *mionding own buisness*
Lawn mower: *whirr*
Toad- *Beyond caring*
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: bigozzy on October 01, 2007, 12:14:54 PM
I can not stop thinking of lawn mowing when I was a boy in Queensland, Australia 35 yeras ago. It was not dog poo I hit in the long grass but one of the large cane toads that infested our area! Daaaddddddddd..... :-X

Aww!

But you must remember, as bad as that day was for you, just think about the toad's point of veiw...

Toad: *mionding own buisness*
Lawn mower: *whirr*
Toad- *Beyond caring*


Great. Now I have guilt.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: hermanne on October 02, 2007, 11:01:25 AM
I can not stop thinking of lawn mowing when I was a boy in Queensland, Australia 35 yeras ago. It was not dog poo I hit in the long grass but one of the large cane toads that infested our area! Daaaddddddddd..... :-X

Aww!

But you must remember, as bad as that day was for you, just think about the toad's point of veiw...

Toad: *mionding own buisness*
Lawn mower: *whirr*
Toad- *Beyond caring*


Great. Now I have guilt.

Thank you both for a great laugh!  ;D
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Crazy Chicken Lady on October 23, 2007, 01:24:29 PM
Unfortunately most of my gross stories involve ds-I hope that's not a sign of things to come ::)

#1 Dh, dd, and I were watching tv one day while ds was playing on the floor with his stacking rings when dh noticed ds had something in his mouth.  I walked over to ds and saw that he was eating "chocolate". Upon closer inspection I noticed ds had opened his diaper on one side. I don't know if I was in denial but as I was putting two and two together-dh screams out "Oh my god-I think he's eating crap." :o Dd begins screaming which scares ds and he proceeds to pee.  I threw ds in the bathtub while dh cleaned up the floor and ran to the store to get more baby toothbrushes. I went through about four or five b/f I felt that ds's mouth was clean enough.

#2 Dd screamed for me one day from her bathroom telling me she needed more toilet paper. I went in and started looking in the closet for another roll. Since my back was to the door I didn't notice ds had toddled in behind me. I heard splashing and turned around to ask dd what she was doing.  To my horror dd had gotten off the toilet and ds was now gleefully splashing around in pee water. :o

#3 We had been shopping most of the morning when we decided to stop for lunch at a certain crowded Southwestern restaurant.  Ds had been acting cranky that morning so I figured maybe he was hungry(he wouldn't eat breakfast but he had been drinking a lot of milk that morning). He had no fever and was wanting to play with dd-just kind of moody so I didn't really think that he could be sick.  About 10 minutes after we ordered our food I lifted ds from his high chair since he was getting upset. Without warning, he puked all over the table, floor, me and a little bit on the chair across from us(unfortunately there was a man sitting in it). Due to the milk ds had been drinking all morning, it smelled up our entire section and several parties had to be moved. I took ds and dd out to the car while dh stayed behind to pay the bill and apologize to everyone.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Miss Misery on October 25, 2007, 10:03:01 PM
Once I had this HUGE cold sore/zit just above my upper lip. The thing just kept growing and growing and growing and it was starting to hurt. Finally I couldn't stand it anymore and was determined to do something about it. I start squeezing and notice a little head had started to form. I squeeze a little more and....*splat* It was like Mt. St. Helens erupting. Pus splattered all over the bathroom mirror and was running down my chin. I had never seen anything like it my life. I never knew there could be that much disgusting crap in one zit!  :-X

Thankfully it has never happened again.  :)
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Mercy_mile on October 25, 2007, 11:01:54 PM
Yesterday, actually. DS was "napping" in his crib and has recently started taking off his diaper whenever he gets the chance. You know where this one is going...

I guess he decided to make me a sculpture for Mother's Day  :P

It was EVERYWHERE! He crammed poop inside the holes where the screws go in the crib, all over the slats, all over him... :-X

::cries:: oh god... I'm so not looking forward to that part. Only 16 days to go ::cries again:: lol
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Harriet Jones on October 26, 2007, 06:25:03 AM

::cries:: oh god... I'm so not looking forward to that part. Only 16 days to go ::cries again:: lol

They don't *all* do it.  None of mine ever did -- their favorite medium was diaper rash cream.  If yours starts doing it, remember duct tape is your friend (for the diaper, not the child  ;))
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: shadowfox79 on October 26, 2007, 08:32:03 AM
When I was in high school, I suffered from extremely painful, heavy and irregular periods. I had tried to get the doctor to prescribe me the Pill, since I was having to take days off school and was worried about missing exams, but he refused on the grounds that it might give me migraines. (I'm now on the Pill, and it doesn't. It has also freed me from almost every problem I had with them, but I digress.)

Sitting in the main hall waiting for a mock A'Level paper to start, I was pleasantly surprised when the lad I had an insane crush on chose to sit next to me and start talking. We had a great conversation which was only halted by the invigilating teacher telling us to settle down and prepare to begin.

One hour into the exam -
G-LOP.

Oh great. I'm stuck in an exam, no pads or tampons with me as I was two weeks early, quite possibly leaking all over the seat, and the man of my dreams is sitting next to me. How the hell do I save this one?

Fortunately I was wearing black trousers. I spent the entire exam with my legs tightly crossed in the hope that nothing would get out, then managed to pull off an elaborate manoevre by way of sweeping my thigh across the seat as I stood up, thereby wiping up any mess. Either there wasn't any or it worked wonders, because the seat was clean - although I took pains to get up on the side nearest Hot Guy so as to block his view of it, just in case.

Cringe. From then on I wore a pad to every exam, whether I was due or not.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Piyokochan on October 29, 2007, 03:41:55 PM
We have an ant problem every summer. A few summers ago, it got so bad that you couldn't walk two feet without stepping on ants - usually we could just spray the ants and set up some ant traps and they'd go away. Not so that year (we ended up having to call an exterminator, because they'd go away for a couple of days, then come back again, and in greater numbers).

Anyway, one day I had brought a Coke back to my room and set it on my nightstand. I went to take a sip...and found my mouth and  tongue coated in horrible, pinching, painful things...ANTS!

They'd gotten onto my bedside table and crawled up into my glass of Coke. I ran to the bathroom and brushed my teeth and spit the ants out as best I could. Ick!!


A similar thing happened to me. It was in the middle of the night, and I brought a can of coke into my room and left it on my bed table. I took a few sips, then went back to sleep. I woke up in the middle of the night (still pretty groggy at the time), had a few more sips, then went back to sleep.

Woke up that morning, noticed a funny feeling. There were dead ants in my mouth. Luckily I didn't have the painful experience of the live ones... because the first time I drank from the can, it was ant-free. By the second time I drank, the ants had not only crawled inside the can, but also drowned and died inside the can. So I drank and swallowed about five mouthfuls of dead ants while I was half-asleep. Yecch.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: kingsrings on October 29, 2007, 06:24:49 PM
Hey, chocolate-covered ants are considered a delicacy in some countries, so that's really not that bad!

Two "almosts" when it comes to consuming food: drinking a glass of HC punch as a little kid, and all of a sudden a dead bee makes it's way in the glass towards my mouth. I think I may of tasted a little of the fuzziness of it. Also, working at a pet supply store in college and having my drinking glass placed near a similar glass full of fish food. Fortunately I caught that before I drank it. But I sure wish I had seen the dog urine on the merchandise before I grabbed it with my hand.  :P
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: lowwinddays on October 31, 2007, 01:39:21 PM
When I was in college, I got really drunk one night at a party.  I manage to get home and pass out in bed.  The next morning I wake up and think to myself "wow, I had a really weird dream last night.  I dreamt that I woke up, puked off the side of the bed, and just rolled over and went back to sleep."  So I rolled over to get out of bed, and yup, so not a dream.  There was puke alllllll over the side of my bed and floor.  My place stunk for a few days after that.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Kimblee on October 31, 2007, 02:35:05 PM
Hey, chocolate-covered ants are considered a delicacy in some countries, so that's really not that bad!

Two "almosts" when it comes to consuming food: drinking a glass of HC punch as a little kid, and all of a sudden a dead bee makes it's way in the glass towards my mouth. I think I may of tasted a little of the fuzziness of it. Also, working at a pet supply store in college and having my drinking glass placed near a similar glass full of fish food. Fortunately I caught that before I drank it. But I sure wish I had seen the dog urine on the merchandise before I grabbed it with my hand.  :P

So the food was good enough for the fishies but not you? What kind of animal lover ARE you? lol

I had a gross out this morning... I was snoozing on the couch, and my dog gave me a BOFK (Big 'ol french kiss)

Yum... purina!
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Bobbie Fleckman on November 02, 2007, 07:40:42 AM
Years ago, right after I had graduated college, I moved to Northern Virginia, near Washington, DC, and lived in an apartment with two roomies.  The complex was HUGE, and parking was always a problem.  I worked two jobs at the time, one of them at night, so I normally had to park quite a ways away from our building.  No real problem, I got used to it.

One Friday evening, I had a rare night off, and was in the apt. watching TV.  It was very early Spring, one of the first warmish nights, and a steady rain had been falling all evening.

I had forgotten something out in my car, which was parked down the hill of the parking lot and way on the other side.  I don't remember what the forgotten object was now, but it was important enough that I decided to make the trek to retrieve it.  So, being that it was warm, I took my keys and went outside as I was, no jacket or anything, and barefoot.

I was walking happily along, enjoying the first real taste of Spring, when I began to notice something funny-feeling beneath my feet.  It was pitch-black outside, and with the parking lot lights reflected off the wet pavement, I really couldn't see much.  Then, I came to an area that was better lit, and looked down...and around me..to realize that there were earthworms everywhere!  I mean, a veritable SEA of earthworms, the big fat juicy kind, apparently also enjoying the warmth and the rain!  I had been merrily walking all over them, and at that moment, I was so horrified that I almost screamed out loud!  Not many things totally gross me out, but stepping on worms in bare feet crossed a line somewhere for me.

I trod extremely cautiously back to the apartment, and didn't even look at the bottom of my feet as I gingerly made my way to the bathtub to scrub them for about a half hour!  Yeah, that was foul.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Sulaco on December 05, 2007, 04:58:45 PM
A few months back, I had an extremely weird dream.
Now this is extremely weird, I know that, forewarned is foretold!











I dreamed I was eating cat poo encrusted with cat litter. :-X

No, this wasn't one of those dreams in which you wake up remembering a dream, only to find out it really happened.  It was just a dream (thank goodness).
But it was strong enough that every time I walked into the room where we keep our cats litter box, I was physically ill, to the point where I almost got sick.

Took almost two weeks for that to wear off, till then, I wouldn't step one foot in there.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Reddie321 on December 10, 2007, 03:22:23 PM
When I was younger, about 10 or so, I had been drinking a Coke (out of a can) and set it on the kitchen counter to go wander off and do something else.  I come back a little later, take a few quick gulps, before I realize a funny texture in my mouth, so I spit it in the sink.  Amid the Coke-spit, I see short black stringy things.  My dad chews tobacco, and instead of emptying his "wad" in the sink or trash can, he just pulled it out and put it in the nearest container, which just so happened to be MY can of Coke.  IT WAS STILL COLD!

This is also the man who won't throw his Nicorette away...he just sticks it random places.  Like the remote control...My mom gave up fighting that battle long ago...
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Harriet Jones on December 10, 2007, 04:50:31 PM
Urk!  :P

That reminds me of the time someone put their cigarette butt in the can of soda DH was still drinking out of...
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: bigozzy on December 12, 2007, 04:42:33 AM
Years ago I woke up late for work and brushed my teeth with Deep Heat, a cream for sport injuries. Very painful and only funny now. I was not laughing at the time!
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: sbtier on December 12, 2007, 12:36:48 PM
I was walking back from my mailbox looking at the mail when I slid in something.  It was a dead mouse all squished from cars running over it!  I took off my sneakers before I got to the house, went in and got a plastic bag, and threw my sneakers in the dumpster.  There's just no cleaning that!
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: hermanne on December 12, 2007, 02:41:05 PM
I was walking back from my mailbox looking at the mail when I slid in something.  It was a dead mouse all squished from cars running over it!  I took off my sneakers before I got to the house, went in and got a plastic bag, and threw my sneakers in the dumpster.  There's just no cleaning that!

 :o :o :o :o :o :o
eewwwww......  :P
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: bionelly on December 23, 2007, 01:39:42 AM
OK, I have several, in ascending order of grossness:

My mom's cat regularly leaves mouse heads around the house.  She jokes about how it's like some weird parody of The Godfather.

DD has also done the "poop sculpture" thing in her crib.  We're very careful now not to lay her down in anything she can get out of by herself.

One of DH's friends passed out naked in a fetal position, and woke himself up by peeing in his own face.

When DH was drinking heavily, he was once sitting alone, drinking bottles of Zima and peeing in the empty bottles whenever he felt the urge.  I'm betting you can guess what happened.  He said the only reason he knew he had the wrong bottle was because it was warm in his mouth.

When I was pregnant and having nonstop "morning" sickness, I sometimes found myself vomiting in the toilet and simultaneously having diarrhea.  I then had to quickly twist myself around to sit sideways on the toilet and puke in the sink.

Also during that "morning" sickness, I ate a nice big bowl of rice, thinking it was supposed to be easy on the stomach.  When I threw it up, I wound up with half-digested rice in my sinuses, which is probably the most disgusting sensation ever.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Sirius on December 23, 2007, 09:37:08 PM
This one is relatively minor compared to most.

When my brother was a newborn baby, my aunt was changing his diaper, and he nailed her right between the eyes with a stream.  My mom explained that this is why you always cover a little boy up when you're changing his diaper.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: bionelly on December 24, 2007, 12:30:16 AM
Oh! I forgot the worst one (probably trying to block it from my memory).  I had amazingly bad diarrhea in an already-clogged toilet (I didn't have enough time to try to find an unclogged one, and I wouldn't want to do that to the neighbors anyway).  Then I had to scoop the diarrhea out into a garbage can with a ladle before I could unclog it, and put it back in the toilet when I was done.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: veraobsession on December 24, 2007, 01:09:23 AM
LOL! I have two and they are GROSS so be warned!!!

#1 - I'm a respiratory therapist and part of what we have to do is suction. We stick a catheter down into the lungs and suck out all the "goo." I had a patient with a trach (big hole in the throat) and I had to suction him. The catheter suddenly became very hard to pull out and I gave it a little bit of a tug and when I did.... the catheter flew out and slung a big wad of snot on my forehead and the wad proceded to slide down toward my eye. Gross.

#2 - I used to tutor kindergartners/first graders when I was in college. I was sitting working with another girl when I noticed alittle boy sitting across from me digging around in his nose. He slowly pulled this huge, slimy, booger out of his nose (strings of snot still going back to his nose). He looked at the booger for a second, then looked around, and then popped it into his mouth. I gagged loudly enough for the teacher to look at me. GACK!!!!
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: kingsrings on December 24, 2007, 10:49:44 AM
This story comes from a phlebotomist who was taking my blood donation. He was working in the plasma donation of the center one time, trying to remove a full bag of freshly-donated plasma from the machine. There was a malfunction with the machine, and it caused the bag to explode, which ended up going all over him. He said it hit him face-first and he had blood and plasma in his eyes, nose, and mouth and was completely drenched in it from head to toe. For about one or two years afterwards, he had to have regular HIV tests.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Midnight Kitty on December 24, 2007, 02:39:20 PM
My profession has lots of potential for gross out:  I inspect sewage treatment plants.  My coworker & I went to the site of a large sewage spill:  A pressurized sewer pipe sprung a leak when they were working on it, spraying the worker in the face, completely drenching him, then filling the trench with raw sewage.

While we were out investigating, the worker returned to the site.  He was taken to the hospital immediately, flushed, purged, sprayed with disinfectant and pumped full of antibiotics.  He said he felt fine & went back to work!  Man, I'm tellin' ya, dese guys is TOUGH!  He coulda had the rest of the day off with pay.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: kingsrings on December 24, 2007, 02:50:49 PM
At a former apt. complex I lived in, I awoke one morning to the sound of ‘glug glug glug’ coming from my bathroom. I saw why, the septic system had backed up into everyone’s plumbing. It was in the shower, too. Lovely, tons of mushed-up human waste in the areas that I use on a daily basis.  :-X Of course the problem was fixed immediately due to our pro-active landlord, and he also spent the day scrubbing everyone’s tubs clean. He did tell me that I might want to do a second scrub-down just to make sure as he had only enough time to do so much to our tubs. To me at first sight it looked just fine and clean, so I went ahead and started showering. Then I looked into a corner and there was a small smudge of the sewer waste still there. Ewww…… I just hope that it was only there and not in an area that my body had touched.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Secret on December 28, 2007, 02:30:19 PM
Alright- this involves bugs and vomit.

My dad would take our old dalmation for a run early mornings.  The dog would then come back up and sleep in my mom's bedroom.  The dog also liked to eat things on this run (She was often off leash).

Mom wakes up to dog retching.  She goes to clean up the vomit and as she does she notices it is moving!  The dog had eaten garbage infested with maggots and then had thrown up the maggots in my parents bedroom.  They kept trying to get away by spreading out in a star pattern. Mom said for days she'd see some maggot heads poke up when she turned the light on or brush over the area.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Bammie on January 01, 2008, 03:09:12 PM
One of my first jobs was working in a seniors nursing home.  One of the residents decided to get artistic in the washroom cubicle using the only medium he had access too.  He finger painted the walls with his feces.  ...luckily I did not have to clean it up. 
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: PeasNCues on January 03, 2008, 01:38:10 PM
We had a pet aquatic frog (we actually had 2, now we have 1 that has been alive for 15 years...) that jumped out of its tank sometime in the night. We searched for it for a long time but gave up. Well, my young cousins were visiting and were playing with my little sister's doll house... I went in there to see them and they were playing with the dead, dried up frog carcass!!!

It gets better. My dad threw the carcass into a large field behind our house. We had a golden retriever at the time. He brought that dang thing back six times before my dad finally had to flush it.


THE FOLLOWING STORY IS REALLY GROSS!

My grandfather was a fireman in DC. One day they get a call that a priest had hung himself in a belltower and they needed to get him down. He had killed himself several days earlier. Well, my GF goes up with his buddy - buddy reaches out and tugs the priest's foot for some unknown reason. Priest's head pops off and drenches them in body fluids... EWEWEW.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: hermanne on January 03, 2008, 02:49:33 PM
THE FOLLOWING STORY IS REALLY GROSS!

My grandfather was a fireman in DC. One day they get a call that a priest had hung himself in a belltower and they needed to get him down. He had killed himself several days earlier. Well, my GF goes up with his buddy - buddy reaches out and tugs the priest's foot for some unknown reason. Priest's head pops off and drenches them in body fluids... EWEWEW.

(http://www.clicksmilies.com/s1106/wuerg/vomit-smiley-027.gif)
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: HeebyJeebyLeebee on January 03, 2008, 05:44:51 PM
If all of you brave souls can submit a story, I guess I can too.

WARNING:  Blood Related

I used to work as a Unit Secretary at a local hospital, and would sometimes be asked to "sit" with patients who weren't mentally fit to be alone.  Being relatively "untrained," for me this usually meant patient who would have normally been on the Psych Floor, but were on a medical/surgical floor for medical, non-psych reasons.  Sometimes I was asked to sit with a patient on suicide watch. 

This one patient (no names for HIPPA reason) was a psych patient who was on my floor getting a leg ulcer treated.  The patient was very bored and restless and preferred to walk up and down the halls.  As the sitter, it was only my duty to watch the patient and help keep him calm and look out for dangerous situations - not keep him in bed.  Alas, all the walking had put too pressure on his ulcer, and sure enough, the wound opened.  Fortunately, the patient was in his room sitting in bed.  UNFORTUNATELY, the wound had exposed and opened an artery.  Blood was not trickling or pouring down his leg - it was SPURTING ACROSS THE ROOM!  You could tell what his pulse was - the spurts were in sync with it.  It was getting some pretty good air to it too.  I didn't know blood could squirt so high out of a wound about the size of a soup can lid.  It shot some puss too. 

Patient was getting panicked - I kept my cool.  I put on gloves and a mask, hit the call button, tell the other unit secretary to get the patient's nurse in here right away and that the patient is bleeding badly, grab a wad of paper towels, and put pressure on the pulsating, pussy mess, and gently reassure the patient.  I told him "Don't worry.  It's going to be all right.  These things happen.  No no, I'm okay - you didn't squirt me.  The mask is just standard procedure.  When this is all over, I'll see if I can get the kitchen to send some popsicles." etc etc.

The nurse arrives - a tray full of tape and gauze in tow, and while he attended to patching up the patient, I surveyed the mess on the wall, floor, and bedding and called house keeping.  I really liked working with that nurse - he has such a great sense of humor.  He was teasing me later that I didn't need him at all and that I seemed to have it all under control.   ;D

From that day on, only poopy diapers (of the infant or adult variety) gross me out.   ;)
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: afbluebelle on January 03, 2008, 05:53:37 PM
This one is relatively minor compared to most.

When my brother was a newborn baby, my aunt was changing his diaper, and he nailed her right between the eyes with a stream.  My mom explained that this is why you always cover a little boy up when you're changing his diaper.

Squeakers was about 36 hours old, and he got me in the mouth while my mother was changing him.  he was in his bassinet, and I was in the hospital bed.  My son is talented ::)
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: The Iza on January 27, 2008, 10:28:00 PM
Both of these stories happened when I was about 9. It was a bad year for me. x_x

I was eating string beans that had bread crumb stuff sprinkled over them. Suddenly I noticed that one of the peas was wriggling and trying to crawl off my plate. It took my about 2 second to realize that no, that was not a mutant pea, but in fact a little maggot. I promptly screamed and flung the plate away from me. Mom made me clean it up. Bah.

A few weeks later, as I'm eating tomato soup with rice in it, it occurs to me that some of the rice is deformed.

Yup. Maggots again.

But at least I didn't fling it this time.  :P


(Ooh, my first time posting. I am awesome.)
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Bijou on January 28, 2008, 07:54:07 AM
I heard this story about some little kid.  The child, about 15 months old had been napping and was still in her crib.  Her mom found her diaperless with doodoo all over her, the walls and the bed. She cleaned her up, cleaned her bed and cleaned the wall.  But, she kept smelling something.  Finally, she looked in the kid's mouth and....well, lets just say that peanut butter isn't the only thing that sticks to the roof of my someone's mouth.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Bijou on January 28, 2008, 08:02:31 AM
I was in a restaurant having an omelete.  I was busily eating away when I saw something funny.  I pulled it out of the omelete filling and found it was a long insect leg.  hairs and all.  It reminded me of a grasshopper leg.  I wondered what happened to the rest of the darned thing.  It was disgusting and I hate to eat there now. 

A woman I worked with wanted to go to this particular restaurant for a pulled pork sandwich.  I went with her, against my better judgement, since I had heard the place was a breeding ground for cockroaches.  Anyway, the pulled pork, with all its little fibers, looked to me like thousands of cockroach legs all sauced together and piled on bread.  It disgusted me.  I reinstituted my vow to NEVER eat at that dump.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: bigozzy on February 08, 2008, 05:07:44 AM
Not so bad in the scheme of things here but still.....

Last night I was putting DS to bed and I noticed a lot of 'crumbs' on the sheet. I accused him of sneaking snacks in bed but he denied it.

DS 2 then helpfully pointed out that his brother was picking his nose and rolling the findings into little balls (he is quite the miner at times). Just after I had spent 5 minutes scraping the 'crumbs' into my hand!
Boys.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Warbaby on February 08, 2008, 12:19:27 PM
The only thing worse than finding an insect or mouse in your food is:

Finding half an insect or mouse in your food!!!

Yep, done both.  Amazed myself and a lot of other people in those two restaurants at how quickly my stomach could completely empty itself!!

BTW, I am not a squeamish person.  Survival, Escape, and Evasion training in the military insured that I'm not.  I've eaten some interesting things not normally on my diet.

Board of Health later closed one (mouse restaurant) down and fined the owner a huge amount.  Bug restaurant called the BOH, had the place inspected, no infestations.  It was later determined that the problem was with one of their suppliers. 

They still sent me a gift certificate for a free meal for two with a nice letter of apology.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: snoopygirl on February 08, 2008, 05:26:18 PM
The only thing worse than finding an insect or mouse in your food is:

Finding half an insect or mouse in your food!!!

Yep, done both.  Amazed myself and a lot of other people in those two restaurants at how quickly my stomach could completely empty itself!!

BTW, I am not a squeamish person.  Survival, Escape, and Evasion training in the military insured that I'm not.  I've eaten some interesting things not normally on my diet.

Board of Health later closed one (mouse restaurant) down and fined the owner a huge amount.  Bug restaurant called the BOH, had the place inspected, no infestations.  It was later determined that the problem was with one of their suppliers. 

They still sent me a gift certificate for a free meal for two with a nice letter of apology.

Did you go back there? Even if it was a supplier issue I would not want to eat there. I would be sitting there picking through every bite of food before I put it in my mouth.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Midnight Kitty on February 08, 2008, 06:34:57 PM
The only thing worse than finding an insect or mouse in your food is:

Finding half an insect or mouse in your food!!!

I had a similar experience.  See post #65 on page 5 of this thread.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Stormtreader on February 11, 2008, 03:16:33 AM
A woman I worked with wanted to go to this particular restaurant for a pulled pork sandwich. 

OT here, but what IS pulled pork?  ???
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Harriet Jones on February 11, 2008, 06:05:59 AM
A woman I worked with wanted to go to this particular restaurant for a pulled pork sandwich. 

OT here, but what IS pulled pork?  ???

Barbecued pork, pulled off the bone.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Stormtreader on February 11, 2008, 06:11:05 AM
A woman I worked with wanted to go to this particular restaurant for a pulled pork sandwich. 

OT here, but what IS pulled pork?  ???

Barbecued pork, pulled off the bone.

Ah, thanks :)
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Kimblee on February 11, 2008, 11:43:06 AM
A woman I worked with wanted to go to this particular restaurant for a pulled pork sandwich. 

OT here, but what IS pulled pork?  ???

Barbecued pork, pulled off the bone.

Ah, thanks :)

Its pretty yummy if its smoked well.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Nimblicity on June 21, 2008, 04:14:05 PM
:::::it's alive!  it's alive!


Bump!



Something super gross happened to my grandma last weekend.

Blood-related (the story and the grandma), you've been warned.


She's 79, but very spry.  She was getting on a bus with a very high step and fell down.  She didn't hurt herself, thank goodness, but she did bump the back of her hand, like on the knuckle, on something.  But the skin wasn't even broken.

Well, apparently, she managed to break a little artery without breaking the skin.  And, of course, she's on blood thinners.  So what would be a nasty bruise for you and me turned out to be an ever-growing golfball-sized lump of blood under the skin of the back of her hand.  She had to go to the hospital to have the semi-clotted blood kind of squeezed out of a tiny incision.  Her entire hand, from the wrist to the finger tips, is now puffy, but what's worse is that it is as black as midnight (from the worst bruise in the universe).  It's fine, really, and doesn't even hurt anymore, but it just looks like it's about to drop right off.  Blacker than any bruise you've ever had, even though that's all it is in reality.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Alida on June 21, 2008, 07:25:22 PM
When DD was just a tiny thing, STBXH was changing her and I heard a "HON! HELP!" from the baby's room.  I went racing in to find poop EVERYWHERE.  On him, the baby, the changing table, the crib, the wall, the shades... just as he removed her diaper she had the worst case of explosive diarrhea ever.  Took forever to clean it up.  *makes face*
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Team HoundMom on June 21, 2008, 07:54:15 PM
When I worked at the Pet Store our then-manager accepted a litter of 10 German-shepherd cross puppies, all with watery diarrhea, a week before Christmas, knowing full well that I would be going in by myself on Christmas Day and Boxing Day to look after them.  We already had a couple of other puppies too.  Let's just say that I have never seen so much poop in my life. (running down the outside of the kennels and puddling on the floor, etc.)

I still say that if you can picture it in your head I've cleaned it up.... :-X
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Reika on June 22, 2008, 12:35:19 AM
This thread reminded me of this story my grandmother would tell from time to time from when she was younger and probably explains why I can find disgusting things amusing. As long as it isn't me. ;)

There was a married couple who had some issues. Namely that husband would get drunk after work, come home late after the wife had gone to bed, vomit into the kitchen sink, then pass out somewhere in their home. Tired of dealing with the icky mess first thing in the morning, and numerous arguments with the husband, the wife finally decided on a method to get her husband to stop puking into her sink. One night after cleaning out a chicken for dinner, she saved the innards rather than throwing them out. Before she went to bed, she tossed the guts into the sink and went to bed.

The next morning she gets greeted by her husband who promised to change his ways. The reason? He thought he threw up so hard, he puked up his guts, so he took a spoon and swallowed them back down...

Many, many years later, I found out from my grandfather that it wasn't a particularly sick joke on my grandmother's part. It really happened, the couple in question were my grandparents. 
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Alida on June 22, 2008, 02:19:54 AM
Reika, I am ROLLING here!
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Miss Vertigo on June 22, 2008, 03:04:02 AM
Warning: Completely Gross Cat-Catch Related Stories Coming Up.

The last flat I lived in before coming back to London was almost right on the banks of a canal, obviously teeming with wildlife. I have three cats. Go figure.

Leo, my cute little black long-hair who has the biggest yellow eyes in the world and looks as if butter wouldn't melt in his mouth, set about systematically picking off the local wildlife, seemingly one by one. His favourite trick was to bring a mouse into my bedroom in the middle of the night. I'm quite a light sleeper, and discovered that there's nothing quite as gross as waking up to the sound of "crunch....crunch...crunch..." - but not quite waking up enough to do anything about it. Come the morning, I'd get out of bed, forgetting what had happened in the night, to be faced with the left-overs - a mouse's head, staring up at me from the carpet. After this started happening every.single.night, I kinda got used to it.

I once got up to find a rat in the middle of my living room floor. I don't mind rats - I actually think they're very cute. When they're alive. But this one was dead. It had ceased to be, it was an ex-rat < /python>. And it was MASSIVE. First thing in the morning, I was feeling a little fragile, so I set about trying to find something in the kitchen to 'scoop' it up with - the best I could do was a bucket and a mop, the plan being to sort of 'tip' the rat into the bucket, take it outside and chuck it back down by the canal bank. But the rat, although dead, had other ideas... I sort of nudged it with the mop a few times but it would NOT go over the lip of the bucket, preferring instead to sort of roll around the carpet.   In the end, after screaming like a big girl a couple of times, I did something really quite gross - i dumped the bucket over the top of it, shut the cats out of the living room, went to work, and dealt with it when I got home. It was just too far a stretch to deal with first thing in the morning.

But that pales into insignificance compared to this: a few days after the rat incident, I saw something BIG scuttle along the skirting board out of the corner of my eye. Another rat, followed quickly by the cat, chasing after it. I tried to get to it before Leo did, but he was too quick for me and picked it up and took it away and a few seconds later, I heard the 'thunk' of the cat flap; as he'd often take his catches back outside, I thought well, that's the end of that then. Until a couple of weeks later, when I started to smell something... odd.

I took out the rubbish. I cleaned the sink and the drains, but still couldn't get rid of the smell, or figure out where it was coming from. Until I followed my nose to the side of the sofa, and then it dawned on me. Down the side of the sofa, I had an old computer stored. Because I'd been doing some work on it, the side was off, and it was open.... it'd been fairly well wedged against the sofa but still with a gap large enough for say, a rat to get through if it wanted to hide from a cat who wanted to play with it...

Oh man. I couldn't deal with that. I couldn't even look. I called my ex, said "please, please come and help me with this" and to his credit, he did. I went in the other room and he dug out the old computer. Inside, was the missing rat, decomposing and sort of welded and stuck to all the bits and pieces of the computer.

Never did get around to fixing it up after that - funny that :D

Thankfully, since coming back to London a year and a half ago, I haven't had any more 'gifts' - I guess the local foxes/strays have them all first.

Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: JoieGirl7 on June 22, 2008, 03:19:47 AM
Wow, a gross out thread!  Cool!

Today, I woke up and checked my incisions that are 4 weeks old.  One has had a raised red blister on it for about the whole time.  There are still stitches in the stupid thing.
 
I poked at one and for a moment, I thought I was a Vulcan.  Man, thick green stuff just started pouring out of the little hole followed by blood.
 
I called for my DH--this was too good to miss!  He wondered if it was going to be followed by an alien bustin' out and eating my head!  >:D
 
I suppose it's better than them having to lance it, but maybe they will anyway.  Now it looks angrier than before.
 
But, honestly, I thought it was cool.  Had it been ear wax, I would have been running around screaming.  I can handle just about anything except ear wax!
 
The end of my son's 21st B-day party was pretty bad.  He was practically passed out and 6 drunk people carried him to my van.  Meaning that they almost dropped him a couple of times and essentially shook him up pretty good.
 
His coworker helped him into the van and should have gone out the other door.  But, no, he went out the way he got in and my son let loose all over him.  For the 20 minute ride home, he just sat in the back seat and puked himself silly.  It was almost like Team America (if you are familiar with that scene).
 
Oh, and he had really, really long hair at the time.
 
My Dh really stepped up that night, stripped him and hosed him down in the shower. Glad I didn't have to do that.
 
I prefer to ooze.  >:D
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Kimblee on June 22, 2008, 08:15:11 AM
Well...

This isn;t really "gross" unless you're like me and think that bone noises are horrible.

My dad spent a weekend driving my cute little bum here, there and everywhere to find a certain book. (A manga series I read) and FINALLY I found the volume I was missing. (Four stores, fifth had it.) well after I paid for it, I danced in the parking lot. Silly? Yes, very. But I did.

Well, I cam down and my ankle wasn't wqilling to catch me, so there was a crunch and i hit the pavement. No big deal, I twist one or the other ankle at least once every two weeks. (They be weak little chicken ankles... they never break, but the sprain easily.... in this case though, i just hobbled for a few days.)

Until my dad decided to add: "Finally.... the terminally ill fangirl makes her rally."

I bit his foot.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Harriet Jones on June 22, 2008, 12:28:29 PM

The next morning she gets greeted by her husband who promised to change his ways. The reason? He thought he threw up so hard, he puked up his guts, so he took a spoon and swallowed them back down...


I've heard this as a joke involving a drunk hunter with diarrhea, the 'guts' from a deer,  and a pointed stick.   :-X
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Hillia on June 22, 2008, 12:43:39 PM
I used to work with a nurse who had worked several years in a pediatric ER in a teaching hospital.  They saw lots of residents; as with any group, most were perfectly fine, but there were a few who thought they were way too good for the rest of the world and the nurses were stupid, incompetent, and barely fit to carry their coffee.  When they got a resident like this, they had a standard procedure.

First the nurses would make a nasty 'diaper': they'd take a clean disposable diaper and smear it liberally with chocolate pudding, mustard, ketchup, anything else they could think of, mixed together to produce a nasty mess.  Then they'd take it in and show it to the resident in question, asking his opinion - a mom just brought this baby in with terrible diarrhea; the nurses thought it might be a particular disease, what did Doctor think?  They'd wave the diaper at the resident, who would usually recoil in horror.  Then the nurse would swipe her finger through the mess and sniff it, saying yep, sure smells like <disease>.  If a final act was required, she'd then take an inquring lick and remark, wow, definitely tastes like <disease>.

I don't know if this really happened, or if it's a nursing urban legend, but it's a great story anyway!
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: JoieGirl7 on June 22, 2008, 01:23:30 PM
I was reading an article about a guy who had hundreds of bees living in his walls.
 
He noticed a strange substance seeping from his walls and he found out it was honey when he tasted it!

I can just imagine the conversation:

"Hey honey, there's some sort of weird stuff oozing out of the wall here."
"What do you think it is?"
"I don't know, should I touch it?"
"No, don't do that, you don't know what it could be.  Let me come and taste it, that'll solve the mystery!"
 ???

Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Giggity on June 22, 2008, 01:28:13 PM
On the flip side. I met my hubby when we were assigned to the team together to go find the head!

That is freakin' AWESOME.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: J.D. on June 22, 2008, 05:34:30 PM
I shouldn't have read this whole ten-page thread while planning dinner, but I couldn't help myself, lol.

The first one I recall happened when I was very little, maybe eight or nine, and I had a nasty, nasty stomach bug.  I was sick until there was nothing left, and then I just heaved stomach acid - tons of it - for hours.  I was so ill, I couldn't get out of bed, so I was using a bucket.  I vividly remember apologizing repeatedly to my poor Dad, who just kept cleaning it up, emptying the bucket, and telling me that it was ok and that he loved me.  (For the record, I have the best Daddy ever. Srsly.)

The second was dear BF's, and it also involved stomach upset, this time caused by poorly cooked chicken wings.  Three pounds of them.  I woke up around four am to the sound of him absolutely barfing up his bootstraps, as the saying goes.  I poked my head in the bathroom, recoiled, and then went back in with cleaning supplies and rubber gloves, tossed him in the shower - since he'd gotten himself too - and went to work.  There was back-splash all the way to the top of the bathroom door. *gag*

The third contender happened recently, and like so many others here, was c/o my dear kitteh.  She is a long-hair, so her hairballs are brutal, and always accompanied by projectile vomit.  A few months ago, I heard her hacking, and came in just in time to see her perched on the windowsill, puking into the heater.  Which was on.  My place smelled like cat puke for a week.



Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: GunStreetGirl on June 22, 2008, 08:38:08 PM
Ah, my kind of thread. 

Imagine this: you share a bathroom with four other people.  You're prescribed an antibiotic that makes you nauseous.  Your boyfriend gets in the shower, and you start feeling your throat close up.  Then you start salivating like crazy, and finally, are gagging.  You puke in your mouth and have to hold in there until you can run to the kitchen sink. 

Yeah, that was me.  THIS MORNING!   >:(

There is also:  the time i reached for my shoe and a centipede crawled out of it onto my hand. 

When my kitten got diarrhea all over my arm. 

Oh yeah, stepping on half a mouse.  The bottom half. 

That was the day after he brought the live one for me while I was half asleep (breakfast in bed??). 

Just the other day, my boyfriend's mother gently hugged my cat and his anal glands expressed.  All over the counter. 
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: housewife2k on June 22, 2008, 10:08:30 PM
The following involves multiple types of bodily fluids, was gross and embarrasing for me, and was gross for my doctor.

You have been warned...I cannot believe I am typing this, but I need to tell someone!


WANRING_ICKINESS AHEAD

On the 18th, I went in for the appointment where my hysterectomy was scheduled- I have been dealing with allergies, I have been bleeding constantly for the last almost month, and I had to have a full bladder, as they were planning on doing a trans-vag ultrasound (this is where they do an ultrasound of your insides, but the wand they used is designed to be inserted in the..well...eah.)
So, I am in stirrups, with the doctor taking a look at what's going on, full bladder, and I sneeze- no warning to anyone, no nose tickle, jsut a voilent sneeze.
The sneezing caused me to pee a little- on the doctor. Due to the heavy bleeding and the ultrasound wand and being in stirrups, I also leaked some blood- all over the doctor.
To give my doc and his nurses the credit they deserve- Doc asked a nurse if she could take over the ultrasound for a moment, told me he would be right back- drew the curtain, opened the door, walked out, changed his jacket, shirt, glozes, and washed up, came back in, took over for the nurse, and assured me it was neither the first or the last time it has happened, not to be embarrased, and that it was OK
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: purplemuse on June 23, 2008, 10:54:32 AM
I used to work with a nurse who had worked several years in a pediatric ER in a teaching hospital.  They saw lots of residents; as with any group, most were perfectly fine, but there were a few who thought they were way too good for the rest of the world and the nurses were stupid, incompetent, and barely fit to carry their coffee.  When they got a resident like this, they had a standard procedure.

First the nurses would make a nasty 'diaper': they'd take a clean disposable diaper and smear it liberally with chocolate pudding, mustard, ketchup, anything else they could think of, mixed together to produce a nasty mess.  Then they'd take it in and show it to the resident in question, asking his opinion - a mom just brought this baby in with terrible diarrhea; the nurses thought it might be a particular disease, what did Doctor think?  They'd wave the diaper at the resident, who would usually recoil in horror.  Then the nurse would swipe her finger through the mess and sniff it, saying yep, sure smells like <disease>.  If a final act was required, she'd then take an inquring lick and remark, wow, definitely tastes like <disease>.

I don't know if this really happened, or if it's a nursing urban legend, but it's a great story anyway!

This reminds me of one I heard about a doctor trying to teach some students the importance of observation.  First, he tells them that it's very important to have good observation skills, then holds up a vial of urine, and says he's going to teach them how to test for diabetes.  He sticks a finger in the vial, then touches a finger to his tongue and comments that you can tell the patient has diabetes because of the sweet taste, and instructs his students to test for themselves.

One by one, they come up, each sticking a finger in the vial, and touching it to their tongues.  Once they have all gone through, the doctor reiterates the importance of good observation skills.  Then adds:

"And if any of you had been observant, you would have noticed that I stuck my second finger in the vial, but used my first finger to touch my tongue."
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Corrina on June 24, 2008, 12:42:24 AM
I've got a few stories, but they aren't as bad as some of the ones here  :-X

This winter I was taking my puppy to go get fixed. She wasn't exactly completely housetrained and hadn't emptied her bowels yet, but I was figuring that as soon as I got her to the vets, she'd go outside before going in. I had to go pick up my friend from a nearby town right after to go bring him to the bank and didn't have time to go back home right after. I got my dog in the car and we were halfway there (only a 10 minute drive) when I started to smell something. She crapped all over the backseat of my car, including on my husband's new winter jacket. At least my aunt who worked at the vets had cleaning stuff for my car, but it still stunk to high heaven, and here I am in northern Vermont, gagging the whole way to my friend's house, with the windows rolled down. At least he understood, lol.

The other two stories are from when I was a child.

When I was maybe 9 years old, my cat was outside on the porch railing. I saw him and went outside to get him because it was getting dark out. What I didn't know what that he put a dead rat right under the door so that when I stepped outside (with bare feet of course) I stepped right onto the dead rat. Uggh.  Another reason why I never let my cats outside as an adult.

Then another time when I was maybe 13 years old I was at my grandmother's and she had these wonderful canadian mint things. I bit into one one day and felt something chewy. It was half of a caterpillar. Trust me, I will never eat those things again. But that can't be as bad as the time that all my family was at my grandmother's some time later and we were all eating these milky way fun size bars. My sister peered into her candy wrapper and saw a bunch of maggots. Needless to say, none of us felt well after that situation.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: aniadlv on June 24, 2008, 01:17:44 AM
Cats *are* gross, aren't they? One of ours once woke up in my sister's room, where he'd spent the night; came over into my room; threw up on a pile of my clothes; and went promptly back to my sister's room for a nap. I was so insulted!

This one FELT bad: I laughed pretty hard while eating dinner with friends and got spicy curry up my nose. IT BURNED. OH IT BURNED! I went to the bathroom, sobbing but also laughing (it was also hysterical) and my friends alternated between gasps of laughter and asking if I was okay. Eventually I discovered that I had chickpeas up my nose!
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: kingsrings on June 25, 2008, 06:05:31 PM
Wow, I can’t believe I haven’t told this one yet on this thread. I worked in a senior home for two years on the weekends, and this one is a doozy. Thank goodness it happened during the week when I wasn’t there, I probably would have been sick to my stomach forever if I had witnessed it.

It was lunchtime, and the residents were all seated together at their little tables in the packed dining room. Right in the middle of lunch, one of the ladies had a complete physical, medical meltdown in her entire body. Basically, she literally had a volcanic explosion happen internally, and it poured out externally from every orifice in her body, every bodily fluid we humans have, in great quantities. Blood, vomit, waste, etc., going everywhere. And her blood was rotten and corroted, so it was black-hued and very smelly. She had had some previously undetected internal illness or infection going on in her body for a very long time, and it finally came to a crescendo right there in the dining room in front of everyone. Of course everyone else was freaking out along with her. And the most incredible thing – her table mate was this very stubborn, mean old lady of 104. She was so angry that her lunch was being interrupted by this body volcano that she refused to get up from the table, even though this woman was spewing bodily fluids everywhere. Even when the paramedics came, she wouldn’t move. They had to physically move her from the table in order to get to the lady. 
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Issa on June 25, 2008, 06:16:55 PM
Wow, I can’t believe I haven’t told this one yet on this thread. I worked in a senior home for two years on the weekends, and this one is a doozy. Thank goodness it happened during the week when I wasn’t there, I probably would have been sick to my stomach forever if I had witnessed it.

It was lunchtime, and the residents were all seated together at their little tables in the packed dining room. Right in the middle of lunch, one of the ladies had a complete physical, medical meltdown in her entire body. Basically, she literally had a volcanic explosion happen internally, and it poured out externally from every orifice in her body, every bodily fluid we humans have, in great quantities. Blood, vomit, waste, etc., going everywhere. And her blood was rotten and corroted, so it was black-hued and very smelly. She had had some previously undetected internal illness or infection going on in her body for a very long time, and it finally came to a crescendo right there in the dining room in front of everyone. Of course everyone else was freaking out along with her. And the most incredible thing – her table mate was this very stubborn, mean old lady of 104. She was so angry that her lunch was being interrupted by this body volcano that she refused to get up from the table, even though this woman was spewing bodily fluids everywhere. Even when the paramedics came, she wouldn’t move. They had to physically move her from the table in order to get to the lady. 


 :-X :-X :-X :-X :-X :-X :-X

Oh wow. How horrific, and terrible for the lady - and everyone else. I HATE puke, I'm probably the worst person to have around if you're puking - I think I would have probably had a little melt-down of my own if I had witnessed this  :-\ I have nothing but admiration for people who can handle things like this! 
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: kingsrings on June 25, 2008, 08:38:02 PM
Even the nurses, who are used to seeing this kind of thing (but not like this!) were in the bathroom gagging and dry-heaving over this. And I guess the smell was even worse. I have never been so glad to have that happen when I was NOT working there. I would of been a basket case, as I can't handle any kind of bodily fluid stuff (blood is not so bad for me). I felt real bad for the people who had to clean it up.

Yeah, on another note, if you were a maintenance worker or maid at the place, one of the unfortunate tasks of your job sometimes was cleaning up gross things that the less-abled residents did on occassion.
Like the old lady who got her kitchen wall mixed up with her toilet - feces was smeared everywhere. On one of my shifts, the intestinal flu hit all of the residents big time, and some of them had trouble making it to the toilet when they had to vomit, much to my pleasure. Eventually all those residents vomiting and diarrheaing created a smell, too.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Miss Vertigo on June 26, 2008, 02:15:01 AM
Cats *are* gross, aren't they? One of ours once woke up in my sister's room, where he'd spent the night; came over into my room; threw up on a pile of my clothes; and went promptly back to my sister's room for a nap. I was so insulted!

They are gross, and I'm sure they do it deliberately. I once had a cat who would routinely throw up on anything new that I bought into the house. Playstation, TV, new stereo, new clothes - you name it, he'd puke on it as if to make a point.

All of my current brood are pukers. One of them - the longhair - will occasionally throw up a hairball like a cuban cigar. That's pretty gross, but not as gross as this:

I live in a flat now with wooden floors so it's much easier to clean it up but what I didn't notice when I moved in is that the colour of the floors is just a couple of shades off the delightful hue of cat puke. This makes for some very interesting experiences first thing in the morning. I swear they do it deliberately, right outside my bedroom door so that a) never mind the floor colour, I'm too bleary eyed to see it anyway and b) it's the first thing I tread in.

Kingsrings, the old lady story is the grossest thing I've ever heard.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: kingsrings on June 26, 2008, 02:08:20 PM
Do I win an award then??  ;D ;)
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Sneezy on June 26, 2008, 10:29:33 PM
One of my cats has decided that The Place to puke is down the side of my dresser.  Maybe he was thinking, 'Gee, puking in the carpet is getting old.  I know!  I'll jump up as high as I can and see how far gravity will pull it!'
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: afbluebelle on June 27, 2008, 12:37:43 AM
Wow, I can’t believe I haven’t told this one yet on this thread. I worked in a senior home for two years on the weekends, and this one is a doozy. Thank goodness it happened during the week when I wasn’t there, I probably would have been sick to my stomach forever if I had witnessed it.

It was lunchtime, and the residents were all seated together at their little tables in the packed dining room. Right in the middle of lunch, one of the ladies had a complete physical, medical meltdown in her entire body. Basically, she literally had a volcanic explosion happen internally, and it poured out externally from every orifice in her body, every bodily fluid we humans have, in great quantities. Blood, vomit, waste, etc., going everywhere. And her blood was rotten and corroted, so it was black-hued and very smelly. She had had some previously undetected internal illness or infection going on in her body for a very long time, and it finally came to a crescendo right there in the dining room in front of everyone. Of course everyone else was freaking out along with her. And the most incredible thing – her table mate was this very stubborn, mean old lady of 104. She was so angry that her lunch was being interrupted by this body volcano that she refused to get up from the table, even though this woman was spewing bodily fluids everywhere. Even when the paramedics came, she wouldn’t move. They had to physically move her from the table in order to get to the lady. 


Spontaneous Human Explodey!!!!

When I pass on, I totally want to go out like this... with a bang >:D
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Miss Vertigo on June 27, 2008, 01:03:47 AM
One of my cats has decided that The Place to puke is down the side of my dresser.  Maybe he was thinking, 'Gee, puking in the carpet is getting old.  I know!  I'll jump up as high as I can and see how far gravity will pull it!'

*cracks up*

I sympathise: I came home last night to find puke all.over. the top of my chest of drawers in the bedroom.

kingsrings, you should definitely win something for that story. I can't see how it can get *any* grosser than that!
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Trisha on June 27, 2008, 02:45:38 AM
Do I win an award then??  ;D ;)

This is probably an insanely dumb questions, but did she die?
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Reika on June 27, 2008, 05:00:58 AM
I hearby award kingsrings with the golden poopy diaper for the grossest story.  ;D
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Team HoundMom on June 27, 2008, 11:16:44 AM
Basically, she literally had a volcanic explosion happen internally, and it poured out externally from every orifice in her body, every bodily fluid we humans have, in great quantities.

 :o  Oh my goodness that can actually happen??!!

Oh yes, kingsrings gets the award.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: NsWife on June 27, 2008, 11:37:22 AM
I don't think I have ever laughed as hard as I did when reading this thread!   ;D
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: kingsrings on June 27, 2008, 11:40:46 AM
Do I win an award then??  ;D ;)

This is probably an insanely dumb questions, but did she die?

No, she didn't die. This was a couple of years ago, so perhaps she has now died, I don't know. I never heard what was wrong with her or why that happened. I recall her coming back to the senior home within a few days of this happening.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: thebeckster on June 30, 2008, 12:23:32 PM
Is it depressing that I couldn't think of anything REALLY gross?

When I was very young, we got milk in bottles that had a cardboard stopper. One day, my dad took the milk bottle out of the refrigerator and saw the was some Kool Aid on the stopper. AFTER he licked it, he realized it was, in fact, chicken blood that had dripped down.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Stormtreader on June 30, 2008, 12:50:07 PM
The only thing I can think of right now is the day my brother poured the LAST of a carton of orange juice, and a huge ball of mould plopped out into his glass.  :-X
I always look in the carton now before I pour.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: hjaye on July 01, 2008, 01:12:07 PM
Oh, let's see...Warning - Third entry should be viewed with care

Dh is changing dd's diaper.
Like the good dad he is, he puts one hand on the baby as he bends down to place the dirty diaper in the pail.
Just as hubby's head is level with the table, dd sneezes.
The force shot poop out of baby and all over dh's face...

I finished the change while he showered baby poop out of his beard.

And then there was:

A mom I know checked on what her toddler had in her mouth.
A mouse's head.
.
.
.
.


And a dad I know found his toddler sucking on a dead mouse - with a torn up and empty abdomen.



Ok, that has me gagging.  You win
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: hjaye on July 01, 2008, 01:47:14 PM
When I was younger, about 10 or so, I had been drinking a Coke (out of a can) and set it on the kitchen counter to go wander off and do something else.  I come back a little later, take a few quick gulps, before I realize a funny texture in my mouth, so I spit it in the sink.  Amid the Coke-spit, I see short black stringy things.  My dad chews tobacco, and instead of emptying his "wad" in the sink or trash can, he just pulled it out and put it in the nearest container, which just so happened to be MY can of Coke.  IT WAS STILL COLD!

This is also the man who won't throw his Nicorette away...he just sticks it random places.  Like the remote control...My mom gave up fighting that battle long ago...

Something like this happened to a coworker of mine, only it really was worse.  We worked for an Armored Car Company, he was on a trip that required one of our bigger trucks.  These over the road trucks were ten wheeled trucks that had a two man cab and a sleeper compartment.  This particular coworker had finished his shift riding up in the cab and had switched out with the guy that had been in the sleeper.

The guy that was in the sleeper dipped snuff, he used a coke bottle to spit his tobacco juice in.  On top of that, he had a cold so he was also spitting phlegm into the coke bottle.  I'm sure you can see where this is going.  When the second coworker woke up (the truck was pulling into a restaurant parking lot so they could get dinner) he saw the coke bottle.  He had been drinking a coke and thought the bottle was his.  He didn't just sip it, he tilted back for a huge swig.  The two guys that were up front (the one who dipped snuff, and the driver) saw the door to the sleeper burst open, the guy who had been in the sleeper came flying our gagging and heaving.  I still cringe whenever I think about it and I wasn't even there.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Stormtreader on July 01, 2008, 02:08:53 PM
Ullphh - that just made me literally grip my arm and bite my lip in horror and disgust  :-X
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Irk Splee on July 01, 2008, 08:05:17 PM
I somehow managed to read all this in one sitting.  :o at the whole thread, particularly the human volcano... even more amazing that she lived!

I have a bunch of these stories...

1) According to my mom, when I was younger - before school age, about 4 or 5 - our cat had a phase where she would bring in all sorts of dead things, like mice and birds. The conversation was always the same:

Mom: EW! EW! EW! DEAD ANIMAL! DEAD ANIMAL!
Irk: Wow, cool! Can I have it?
Mom: No! Get a plastic bag, throw it away...
Irk: OK. *disposes of it without any reaction*

I still don't mind dead animals much... not that I'd want to keep them as pets anymore, but my reaction to "throw that away" would remain the same. Of course, that's pretty much the one standard gross thing that doesn't get me...

2) When I was in 5th grade, during break, the teacher would leave the room and trusted the students to not cause chaos. We were allowed to leave our chairs, stand around the room, etc.

Also, our desks didn't have chairs attached - instead, each day, everyone took a chair from the pile, carried it to their desk, and put it back at dismissal.

Yes, all of this is important.

5th grade was also the year I started my period. A few months after I had started it, it was break, and I was talking to a couple of friends. They had left their desks to come over to mine, but I was still in my own seat. Eventually, in the middle of the conversation, I notice a wet feeling... since I had just started it not too long before, I wasn't too sure about my cycle yet and wasn't wearing a pad. I excused myself to go to my bag to get a pad, a baggie, and some clean underwear - thank goodness my uniform had deep pockets and no one else was in the bag room! - went to the bathroom, and got myself cleaned up. Thankful there was no blood on my skirt, I went back to the classroom. I noticed there was a crowd of boys around my chair, jeering, while my two friends seemed to be yelling at them to go away. Wondering what was going on, I went back into the bag room, put my underwear in my bag, and went over to my desk to figure it out.

"Hey, look, it's Poopie Splee!"
"Irk pooped herself!"

This was before we had the talk, so these boys had no idea about periods, but they probably would have reached the conclusion they did anyway - they thought I pooped myself! My friends and I REALLY didn't want to say "no, she's on her period," since that wasn't much better, but... I spent the rest of that year as the girl who pooped on her chair. Every morning when it came to getting chairs, kids would fight to not get the one I had - it never cleaned up all the way, so you could still kind of tell. I know this seems like complaining about mean kids in school, but as embarrassing as it was then, now I actually think it's kinda funny.

3) My cousin and I were staying over at a friend's house. Cousin fell asleep on the top bed of Friend's bunk, while Friend and I had passed out in the living room watching TV. The next morning when we woke up, Friend's Dad was carrying up a basket of clean laundry - that had some of Friend's stuffed animals in it. Friend asked why her dad was washing them, and the story came out. Apparently, the night before, Cousin had called Friend's Dad into the room.

FD: Cousin? What's wrong?
C: I feel sort of sick-

YAK! Cousin projectile vomited, and the puke sailed over Friend's Dad's head and hit the opposite wall. Some of it had also dripped down onto her stuffed animals, hence the washing. That's got to be fun, scrubbing your daughter's wall of her friend's vomit at dark o'clock in the morning...

4) As an aside, I only feel qualified to tell this one because mom did laugh at it later. Mom and I sleep walk/sleep talk a LOT, but before this incident, neither of us had done anything drastic - it was normally just falling asleep in bed and waking up on the downstairs couch, or waking someone up to tell them all about fairies for a few minutes and then head back to sleep. However, one night, we were staying in a hotel. Mom had gone to bed early because we had just driven 12 hours and I was sitting up reading a book. Eventually she got up, came over to me, shook my shoulder, and told me she had to go to the bathroom. OK, fine. She's sleepwalking, that's why she's telling me this, I just nodded. She headed down the hall... but then I heard a sliding door, which the hotel bathroom didn't have.

Irk: MOM! THAT'S THE CLOSET!

I rushed over, flung the closet door open, and mom was sitting in the hamper peeing. It took a few shakes and some yelling of "MOM! THAT'S NOT THE BATHROOM!", but eventually she woke up, realized what she was doing, turned crimson, and FLED from the hotel room. I let her handle the wash the next day...

5) Anyone ever been tasked with dumping 6-month-old milk?  :-X I have NO IDEA how it went unnoticed that long, but the second I took the cap off of that sucker... holy cow!

6) Along those lines, one day I was doing the dishes when I noticed a closed container filled with cottage cheese. Wait... didn't mom pack the rest of the cottage cheese to take to work for lunch a long time ago...? Apparently, she took it back home, put it in the fridge intending to eat it later, never did, and then put the bowl in the sink intending to dump and wash it later. I got to it first. Cottage cheese squicks me anyway - the texture of it just looks strangely unpleasant to me - but the smell and look of it after however long it had sat in that fridge...  :-X She did start laughing at me over it until I made her come into the kitchen. She agreed that it smelled of death.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: readingchick on July 02, 2008, 08:58:11 AM
Okay, I think I must be blessed (or cursed?) with a stomach of steel......none of this grosses me out! With this in mind.....

This took place 26 or 27 years ago, so I was a little thing in diapers. Mom and Dad decided to take me to a pet store to get some fish for the aquarium. Dad decided to wear a white T-shirt (you can probably tell where this is going to go) for this trip, also ended up with the job of carrying me. Well, we were in the pet store when I had a massive Code Brown. I mean a massive Code Brown.....it ended up seeping out of the diaper and landing on Dad's shirt.....we ended up getting kicked out of that store    :-[        :-[
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: purplemuse on July 22, 2008, 08:41:27 AM
Sorry to dredge up this thread again, but last night, I experienced the port-a-potty from Hades.  The only good thing I can say about it was that there was no human waste on the seat, which saved it from being rendered completely unusable.

The only reason I used it was because I was absolutely desperate.  DH and I stopped at a gas station, and the port-a-potty was the only restroom they had.  Like a fool, I figured it couldn't be that bad-- after all, I'd spent a summer at camp using port-a-potties, and I managed all right, even during the week when some of the campers had... intestinal troubles.

Well, those had been cleaned and emptied 2-3 times a week.  This one... I don't know... it had to have been months.  The stench almost made me vomit, there was excrement piled almost up to the seat, and there were flies everywhere.

Blech!
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Giggity on July 22, 2008, 09:31:44 AM
I have a rodent/cat horror story from back when I lived in Northern California in a suburban single family detached house.  We had 3 female cats and a cat door so they could go in & out at will.  Usually "gifts" of dead rodents were left outside on the stoop.  One morning I awoke to a scene from a horror flick:  Blood streaking the bottom 3 feet of my walls.  Yep, the girls caught a baby squirrel and brought it inside to torture it.  The squirrel was larger than the mice they usually caught & killed quickly.  They were able to maim the squirrel, but not disable or kill it, so it ran around the house, climbing the walls trying to get out/away.

Okay, I'll tell this one on myself.

Couple years ago, Felipe was on a mid-week overnight bidness trip (to glamorous Corpus Christi, Texas - woo freakin' hoo), so I decided to take that day off and get some house stuff done.

Early in the afternoon, the Dread Boston Salty and our boy cat Dennis were racketing around in the fireplace in my study. I stuck my head in the room and told 'em to knock it off. Salty came over to me to offer me what I thought was a string bone, and thank God I didn't take it, 'cause it was a DEAD SQUIRREL.

He dropped it. I whisked him into the living room and barricaded him in there with a baby gate, then grabbed Dennis and put him in one bathroom, and corraled the girl cats and put them in the other one.

Then I called Felipe. He said, "I am not coming home until 24 hours from now, so you'll have to handle it or live with it until then."

So I did what any good Texas girl would do ... I called my daddy. He was taking Mom to chemo, and said he could be there around nine that night. I said thanks, but I'd have to deal with it before then, so don't worry about it.

I went back in the foyer with a dustpan and a whisk broom and tried to whisk it into the dustpan. When the broom touched it, it was so, ugh, DEAD that it freaked me out. I put a box over it.

So I called Bob, who's been my best friend for more than 30 years now (and is also our insurance agent), and told him I had a dead squirrel in the foyer that Salty and Dennis killed and Felipe wasn't coming home until tomorrow and Papa Ferdinand was taking Mama Isabella to the hospital and couldn't make it over for several hours and ZOH MY GOD dead squirrel!!!!

Bob laughed at me and said, "Oh, Jesus Christ, okay, I'm heading over there." He left work two hours early, drove 45 minutes to get to our place, picked up the squirrel, and buried it in our backyard.

Talk about a DUDE.

We have had other squirrel incursions, some of which resulted in visible rodent carnage, but this one reflects worst on me.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: hermanne on July 22, 2008, 08:43:04 PM
Juana, I like your Bob. A real man! 8)
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Bijou on July 23, 2008, 08:53:32 AM
When a person who shall remain nameless was a baby, she was in her crib and her mother came in to find she had removed her diaper and smeared herself, the crib and walls with wads of brown smelly 'paint'.
Her mom cleaned up the mess, bathed the kid and all was fine, except that she kept smelling this horrible odor.  Finally she looked in the baby's mouth and found the roof caked with the stuff. 
The little kid grew up and had babies and one day the she was outside with her two year old son when company showed up.  She went to check the kid who was playing in a grassy patch and saw he had a gooey black and brown and white glob in his mouth...the yard was overrun by snails and she gasped and everyone came running as she dug the disgusting mess out of his mouth...but it wasn't a snail.  It was a chocolate bonbon with vanilla filling the company had given to him.   :P
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Elisabunny on July 24, 2008, 09:41:10 PM
When a person who shall remain nameless was a baby, she was in her crib and her mother came in to find she had removed her diaper and smeared herself, the crib and walls with wads of brown smelly 'paint'.
Her mom cleaned up the mess, bathed the kid and all was fine, except that she kept smelling this horrible odor.  Finally she looked in the baby's mouth and found the roof caked with the stuff. 

 :-X :-X :-X :-X :-X

When Blessing1 was a baby, her poop generally came out with the force of a high-pressure hose.  One day while DH was in the middle of changing her, she blew, squirting all the way to the wall (diagonal trajectory).  I looked at the mess, then got a tape measure: 52 inches from our darling's bum to the wall.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: amanda_tlg on July 24, 2008, 09:56:17 PM
I will tell this story on behalf of my Bro, a paramedic. I hear it at least 2-3 x a year, he loves to regale us with it during family gatherings. Having been a Intermediate EMT for 5 years, and a Paramedic for another 4, he has seen and done all manner of things with no big "gross-out" factor. Until....

He was called to the home of an invalid who had been displaying symptoms of a severe gastrointestinal bug for quite a few days. This person had one of those porta-chairs in their bedroom. And it was filled with very liquid-y brown stuff. Bro had to check it for medical reasons (i hope, I can't imagine he'd check it for any other reason). Well, clipped to his shirt pocket were 2 brand new, very expensive medical gadgets. I remember 1 was a special sort of thermometer. Plop. In they went. Bro stood straight up, walked from the room, and called his superior to inform him they were going to have to buy new gadgets. Apparently Superior was not happy about this, complained about budgets and stuff, and commanded Bro to go fetch them.

Bro lost about 5 pounds that week.

This, actually, is one of Bro's more tame stories.  :o
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: vorbau on July 25, 2008, 08:34:39 PM

[/quote]

 :-X :-X :-X :-X :-X

When Blessing1 was a baby, her poop generally came out with the force of a high-pressure hose.  One day while DH was in the middle of changing her, she blew, squirting all the way to the wall (diagonal trajectory).  I looked at the mess, then got a tape measure: 52 inches from our darling's bum to the wall.

[/quote]

We used to call that Sudden Butt Explosion Disorder...
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: kingsrings on July 28, 2008, 05:43:17 PM
....or poop bombs. And I've heard that sometimes they explode everywhere, including up at your mouth.  :P
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: jpcher on July 28, 2008, 08:17:35 PM
I can't believe that I've actually read these stories . . . ewww! (but so funny, because , well, because "stuff" happens!)

DD#2 was induced. The evening before, LDH said "let's go out to dinner . . . where would you like to go?"

Knowing that I would not be able to go out to dinner for a while, I picked my favoritest of all time mexican resteraunt. You know, beans, peppers, salsa . . . all the good stuff.

I still have a hard time forgiving my LDH when, throughout the years that followed, his favorite party story was . . .

When the Dr. said "PUSH" . . . I think you get the picture.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: vorbau on July 29, 2008, 12:09:02 AM
I have a squirrel one.
WARNING: NOT FOR THE FAINT OF STOMACH. INVOLVES MULTIPLE BODY FLUIDS FROM MULTIPLE SPECIES.

My former partner (I'm in law enforcement) and I are both forensic specialists, so pretty used to our share of ook, goo and yuck. Our DHs both relied on us to handle any "nasty bits," despite her DH being an MD and mine a former sailor.

JM, my partner, was using a room in their basement as a study and began smelling something, ah, distinctive to people in our line of work. I agreed to come over that weekend and help her track it down, as we were fairly sure something had died in the basement - we were just hoping that it wasn't actually inside a wall.

It wasn't - it was in the chimney. THEY were in the chimney. A nest of squirrels, all very dead, and for long enough to reach the, umm, mushy stage. JM, who is taller, could not get her arm far enough up into the chimney to collect the corpses. After a little experimentation, I discovered that I (who am quite small) could get *inside* the fireplace and sort of half-stand, half-crouch and reach up far enough to grab them. So I started retrieving bodies and dropping them in the bucket JM had at my feet. Until...

Something, I think either a mouse or a bat, startled me. I reflexively flinched and sort of straightened, banging my head HARD on the chimney opening and simultaneously flailing my arms around. As I did so, my hand apparently caught the last of the squirrels and knocked them off the ledge they'd died on, whereupon dead squirrels, bits of dead squirrels and assorted effluvia landed squarely on my head. I backed out hastily, and of course tripped over the bucket, spilling its contents all over the floor. JM came running to help, slipped in the mess, and landed flat on her back in the middle of the ... squirrel puddle. Our DHs came downstairs to find us liberally slathered in squirrel juices, me swearing a blue streak and JM making a sort of wheeze/gasp/laugh noise. Both DHs instantly got sick, my DH making it only as far as the stairs before losing lunch, and her DH making it at least outside the basement sliding door before heaving.

We all four went outside, stripped naked, and washed ourselves down with the garden hose and a bar of soap, despite it being November and about 38 degrees (I don't think - I hope - any neighbors were watching). Then JM and I suited up like in our crime scene gear - disposable jumpsuit w/hood, shower cap, rubber boots, gloves, goggles, face mask, armed ourselves with a shopvac, bleach, Simple Green, Nature's Miracle, rubbing alcohol, betadine, ammonia, vinegar and anything else that sounded good, taped our gloves to our sleeves and our cuffs to our boots, and cleaned everything up. We put everything, including the ShopVac, our clothes, and our crime scene suits, in trash bags, put the bags in more trash bags, and set them inside sealed trash cans for DHs to haul to the dump.

Meantime, the guys went and took showers. Wimps! We demanded they take us out to dinner in exchange for their not having to deal with the "nasty bits." They did, after they went to the dump and then came home and took additional showers.

Vorbau

PS I forgot - at one point, while I was scooping squirrel bits out of the chimney, I asked JM if she had some kind of tongs or something that I could use to reach the more distant casualties. She hollered up the stairs to her DH to bring some down - she meant the ones they used on the BBQ, reasoning that those could go in the dishwasher or just be thrown out. Instead, her DH apparently couldn't find the ones she meant, and brought down a pair of antique sterling silver salad tongs. She looked at me, I looked at her, and we both burst out laughing - then she handed me the tongs and I used them to grab the bits I couldn't reach. We washed them down in bleach and rubbing alcohol before bagging them up and taking them to work to run them through the autoclave. Later that month, we had a joint Thanksgiving dinner at her house, and she asked me to go get the "squirrel tongs." I'm sure her extended family STILL wonders what had us laughing like loons.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: hot_shaker on August 01, 2008, 04:46:24 PM
JM came running to help, slipped in the squirrels, and landed flat on her back in the middle of the ... squirrel puddle.

I know it's wrong and probably speaks volume about my mental state, but I find the phrase "squirrel puddle" to be very amusing. 

You are one tough lady!
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: KCee on August 01, 2008, 04:52:56 PM
Vorbau:

What a crazy story. I'd like you to know that you are my new hero and I will recall this story anytime I have to do something "gross" as inspiration.  :)
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: kingsrings on August 01, 2008, 05:16:26 PM
Vorbau, that story wins first prize in all categories!!  ;D

It's funny, I have also heard of other situations where tongs were used to dispose of dead animals. Guess they have multiple uses....
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Punky B. on August 01, 2008, 07:33:30 PM
*raises hand*

I have a dead animal story, but unfortunately there are no squirrel puddles.  :)

When I was a kid I lived in Germany, and apparently birds hate their young there- there would be little featherless bird blobs everywhere on the sidewalk.  I was about 9, and my friends and I would run around barefoot when our moms weren't looking.

One day we were running across a grassy field when I realised my foot had gotten a little heavier.  I looked down and it looked like there was a little wet string across my foot.  Confused, I lifted my foot to look under...

It was a dead baby bird, guts out, clinging to my toe by its intestine.  :-X

I kicked my foot really hard in a panic, and it flew off- into the hair of my friend, who had come back to see what the holdup was.  She screamed and ran away, flinging her hair around.  I ran for the nearest hose.

I wore shoes after that.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: VorFemme on August 01, 2008, 11:18:36 PM
I was reading an article about a guy who had hundreds of bees living in his walls.
 
He noticed a strange substance seeping from his walls and he found out it was honey when he tasted it!

I can just imagine the conversation:

"Hey honey, there's some sort of weird stuff oozing out of the wall here."
"What do you think it is?"
"I don't know, should I touch it?"
"No, don't do that, you don't know what it could be.  Let me come and taste it, that'll solve the mystery!"
 ???



Two years ago, DS asked me what the substance was that was sitting on the rocking chair.....under a light that had been on for two hours.  We looked up and whatever it was, it was DRIPPING from the recessed light fixture and there was a brown STAIN on the ceiling.....

Turned out to be honey - seventy pounds of wax & honey were removed (along with wax beetle larvae and other bugs that were killing the hive, keeping the number of bees too small to keep up with the WORK of repairing the honeycomb).  There was a lot of poison sprayed in the cavity between first & second floor to kill off the bees, the beetles, and whatever else was up there...........

And I still ended up making the hole bigger to scrape more wax out of the area by the light fixture - beeswax BURNS!

But nobody tried tasting the stuff!
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: snowflake on August 02, 2008, 01:08:22 AM
The worst stomach flu.

I came home from working thinking that I was just hungry from not eating lunch.  I made myself a sandwich, took one bite and...

WARNING GROSS.

It was so fast and violent, I had to throw up in a sink full of dishes.  I was young and messy and so was my roommate.  Imagine four days' worth of dishes and then they are vomit-laced.

IT GETS GROSSER.

I realized I wasn't done so I ran for the bathroom.  I had to literally hold my next one in so it didn't get on the carpet.  But by the time I got to the toilet, my fingers were slimy with vomit and the toilet seat was closed.  I couldn't get it open so I was wrestling with the toilet seat while puking my guts out.  I ended up on the floor having dry heaves with my stomach trying to get rid of more.

My roommate came in and said, "Are you OK?"

Believe it or not, I said "Yes."  Instinct I guess.

Then I had to clean it up.  I could not stop puking when I did it.  Luckily there was nothing else to come out.  To this day, I cannot eat rye bread.  That's what the sandwich was on.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: vorbau on August 02, 2008, 02:13:09 AM
Snowflake, I hear you. I had salmonella food poisoning once (bad Mexican food, whole different level of BAD). I was in bed asleep when the first round hit. After emptying various orifices in the bathroom, I staggered back to bed. I'd left a glass of iced tea on my bedside table and drank it down, being dehydrated. Then...it set me off again.

It was YEARS before I could have iced tea again! And I'm a "southrun" gal.

I also had a dress that, it seemed, every time I wore it I got food poisoning or the stomach flu. Finally I gave it to a coworker (who I didn't really like, but it fit her - sizewise, I mean >:D).

Vorbau

PS glad you all liked the squirrel puddles! I have another one but it involves body parts and a county landfill, so might be a bit much. (Actually I have a lot of them - occupational hazard.)
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: bionelly on August 02, 2008, 04:33:09 AM
As far as stomach flu goes, let's just say now I know better than to watch Alien when I'm home sick with it.  :-X

Oddly enough though, either my stomach toughened up after that, or I'm just not affected by some things that gross others out.  A few years later, I had the flu again while we were dissecting pigs in Biology.  It was a big part of the grade, and I couldn't put it off until I felt better. (Really gross part starts here.)Well, apparently it was the teacher's first time with that dissection, and she made a slight mistake when she was telling us what to do with the brains, which basically made them all into soupy messes.  She still wanted us to make the best of it, though, so we had to scoop out half of the brain with our fingers, then label what was left as best we could.  Everybody was pretty squicked out by that, but we didn't really have any other option at that point.  Amazingly, even though I had a stomach bug at the time, I was able to do it without any problem.  I still don't know how I managed it.  Probably mainly by having already gotten everything out of my stomach.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Esther_bunny on August 02, 2008, 08:26:07 AM
Vorbau- I read your story twice. The second time I was picturing Stephanie Plum and Lula.
Great story! :D
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: hot_shaker on August 02, 2008, 08:41:27 AM
PS glad you all liked the squirrel puddles! I have another one but it involves body parts and a county landfill, so might be a bit much. (Actually I have a lot of them - occupational hazard.)

The grosser, the better!

Squirrel puddle, he he he.

Actually, I think I find "squirrel puddle" to be so funny because both the words "squirrel " and "puddle" are pretty funny sounding by themselves.  Poor squirrels though . . .  :-X :(
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: celine.lechat on August 02, 2008, 12:19:53 PM
Two stories here...

1) A cousin of mine had a rat for a pet, who died after a long and (hopefully) happy life. There is an animal cemetery near my grandparent's secondary house, so she wrapped her dead pet in a number of plastic bags, a shoe box, another plastic bag, sealed it and disinfected the whole thing, and kept it in the freezer..
She spent a night with us before leaving for my grandparent's house, and we kept the box in our freezer.
Enter my husband, who asks my cousin "... and how is Socrates?"
"He's dead, he's in your freezer."

We got some odd looks the following morning, when I called after my cousin who was helping me load the car:
"Don't forget your rat in the freezer!"


2) My parents bought a secondary home a few years ago, which had been inhabited by someone who was... well...
There was a 10 foot pile a garbage bags and 2 old cars stuffed full with empty beer cans on the lawn before the house.
And... when we started our vegetable patch, we discovered his "private animal cemetery" (3 horses, 2 dogs).
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: dutifuldaughter on August 02, 2008, 07:28:38 PM
I was giving the dog his last walk of the night, and he stopped to do his business.  I bent over to pick it up with the plastic bag and stepped under the streetlight to get a quick look at it (already TMI, but I like to check that what's coming out of the dog is what I saw go into the dog - i.e. no foreign matter allowed).  To my horror the pile was MOVING!  :o  I yelped "Oh my God, he must have some kind of horrible parasite!"  and nearly swept him up and off to the vet then and there until I realized that I had managed to pick up several large, greasy slugs along with the ... business.

I hate slugs, so I didn't feel sorry for them, but it would be a nasty way to go. :P
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: wonderfullyanonymous on August 02, 2008, 09:57:49 PM
I am so loving these stories, and I am not even sure why. Up until a few days ago, I didn't have anything to add.

PossibleWay too much TMI!!!

I realize that public bathrooms are for all types of "business", but on this particular day, myself and 2 co-workers almost lost our lunches. I have a very sensitive gag reflex, which is triggered by bad smells. On this particular day, I went into the bathroom, then co-worker one, then person who chose the stall closest to the door for their smelly business, and then co-worker #2.

Person in 1st stall proceeded to vocally (with her mouth,) gotta love people who talk to themselves while doing their business, "fumigate" the bathroom. I was in the 2nd set of stalls which is seperated from the 1st set by a wall. When I came out of the stall, and around the corner, I was ambushed by the smell. I took a quick breath and started washing my hands. I knew I was not going to be able to finish rinsing, and just grabbed some paper towels, and beelined for the door. Co-Worker # 1 came out of her stall as I was making my dash for the door, and she followed me.
She didn't was her hands in the bathroom, but said she was going into our breakroom to wash. Co-Worker #2 caught up to me as I got to my dept, and she was trying really hard to not gag. I have smelled dead rotting animals that did not smell that bad.


P.S. I love the phrase squirrel puddles.


Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: vorbau on August 02, 2008, 10:40:38 PM
Two stories here...

1) A cousin of mine had a rat for a pet, who died after a long and (hopefully) happy life. There is an animal cemetery near my grandparent's secondary house, so she wrapped her dead pet in a number of plastic bags, a shoe box, another plastic bag, sealed it and disinfected the whole thing, and kept it in the freezer..
She spent a night with us before leaving for my grandparent's house, and we kept the box in our freezer.
Enter my husband, who asks my cousin "... and how is Socrates?"
"He's dead, he's in your freezer."

We got some odd looks the following morning, when I called after my cousin who was helping me load the car:
"Don't forget your rat in the freezer!"


2) My parents bought a secondary home a few years ago, which had been inhabited by someone who was... well...
There was a 10 foot pile a garbage bags and 2 old cars stuffed full with empty beer cans on the lawn before the house.
And... when we started our vegetable patch, we discovered his "private animal cemetery" (3 horses, 2 dogs).

The professor who taught my forensic entomology seminar told us about coming home one night to a note on the fridge:

"Dad, you're going to have to do something with that dead rat in the freezer, it's making the ice cream taste funny. Love, Christy."

Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: willowz on August 02, 2008, 10:43:51 PM
I found a very flat squirrel in my driveway literally just a pancake.  DH took a shovel and tossed it in the woods.  The next day I found the same flat squirrel in my laundry room where kitty had dragged it.  DH again gets a shovel and tosses it out to the woods.  Finally the flat squirrel appeared again in driveway and DH buried the poor thing. After each appearance it looked rattier than ever with bits of fur and things hanging off it. :P
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Shoo on August 02, 2008, 11:06:28 PM
The professor who taught my forensic entomology seminar told us about coming home one night to a note on the fridge:

"Dad, you're going to have to do something with that dead rat in the freezer, it's making the ice cream taste funny. Love, Christy."



I think this one right here is the winner.  Good heavens, this is disgusting!!
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Reika on August 03, 2008, 12:16:21 AM

Oddly enough though, either my stomach toughened up after that, or I'm just not affected by some things that gross others out.  A few years later, I had the flu again while we were dissecting pigs in Biology. 

This reminded me of a story that a friend of mine and a high school buddy of his did to a couple of girls they wanted to get back at for something (and yes, the mental image is a bit gross). They were dissecting some sort of shark in class, so the two "jokers" brought in a small bag of fishsticks and ate them while in class, making the girls think they were pulling things out of the sharking and eating them. I remember they got in trouble, but apparently they thought it was still worth it.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: hot_shaker on August 03, 2008, 08:11:43 AM
I found a very flat squirrel in my driveway literally just a pancake.  DH took a shovel and tossed it in the woods.  The next day I found the same flat squirrel in my laundry room where kitty had dragged it.  DH again gets a shovel and tosses it out to the woods.  Finally the flat squirrel appeared again in driveway and DH buried the poor thing. After each appearance it looked rattier than ever with bits of fur and things hanging off it. :P

Oh dear, that's like a gruesome version of Flat Stanley (http://www.flatstanley.com/).
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: hermanne on August 03, 2008, 08:24:01 PM
The professor who taught my forensic entomology seminar told us about coming home one night to a note on the fridge:

"Dad, you're going to have to do something with that dead rat in the freezer, it's making the ice cream taste funny. Love, Christy."



I think this one right here is the winner.  Good heavens, this is disgusting!!

This one, especially the bolded part, made me (http://bestsmileys.com/eek/7.gif) then (http://bestsmileys.com/lol/2.gif)  :D.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: vorbau on August 03, 2008, 11:10:24 PM
The professor who taught my forensic entomology seminar told us about coming home one night to a note on the fridge:

"Dad, you're going to have to do something with that dead rat in the freezer, it's making the ice cream taste funny. Love, Christy."



I think this one right here is the winner.  Good heavens, this is disgusting!!

This one, especially the bolded part, made me (http://bestsmileys.com/eek/7.gif) then (http://bestsmileys.com/lol/2.gif).

I'll explain real quick - he is a professor of entomology, but back when I took his class (1990s) his university wasn't convinced that forensic entomology was worth university money. So he did all his research, etc on his own, supporting it by teaching seminars to various law enforcement agencies and other colleges that had forensic or criminal justice programs. His lab is in the basement of his mother's house and his archives in the basement of his own house. Since he didn't have much funding, he had to take specimens when and where he could find them and then store them until he could process them, since he carried a full teaching and research load for his "regular" job. Hence the dead rat in the freezer next to the ice cream.

Christy, his daughter, was about 9 at the time of the note. She's now completing her PhD and is his assistant for all his forensic seminars. And he's now at a different university and has plenty of grants to fund his work! Yay Neil!

I'll post some other goodies tomorrow...I think I have a couple more that involve squirrel puddles, or the equivalent.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: housewife2k on August 08, 2008, 05:20:27 PM
For the record, I have spent the last week or so wandering around and giggling to myself while saying "squirrel puddles". I have even gotten other people to say it, they hve no clue why, but they are. It is almost becoming a replacement swear word in my group of friends now.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Punky B. on August 08, 2008, 06:22:46 PM
For the record, I have spent the last week or so wandering around and giggling to myself while saying "squirrel puddles". I have even gotten other people to say it, they hve no clue why, but they are. It is almost becoming a replacement swear word in my group of friends now.

And has now become a substitute swear word here.  What a great application! ;D
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: vorbau on August 08, 2008, 08:29:10 PM
I will have to tell JM this next time I see her. She will be so honored to know she is part of E-Hell history.  ;D

Somehow, this makes getting squirrel bits in my hair worth it all.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: hermanne on August 11, 2008, 08:19:43 PM
Okay, this just happened today....

I was driving down the highway when I noticed a sort of oblong dark reddish thing by the side of the road. Then I saw the flattened deer carcass a little way up the road. The reddish thing had come from there. I think it was the deer's stomach. No, it wasn't flattened like the rest of the deer. :P
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: FluteOfDoom on August 12, 2008, 12:39:45 PM
On the topic of rats in the freezer, my dad had an owl in ours for years. I have no idea why it was there in the first place, but my mother finally threw it away because she was sick of grabbing it instead of the meat she'd put in there. Yes, it took years to get to that point - they're pretty well matched.  ;D She gave him a dead otter for Valentine's day once.

Anyway, my father is a biologist, and while he was in grad school, the science department had a large freezer  for the animal specimens they used for studies. Whenever the professor cleaned it out, he'd take the specimens he wanted to move to a more permanent collection, and let the grad students deal with the rest.

Let's just say that if you're not squeamish, you can live for quite a while on what's left of a bear.

--

My nana had a dead bat once... she found it mummified in her attic.

So she had it made into a rear-view-window dangly, because she loves bats.

Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: vorbau on August 12, 2008, 09:45:44 PM
FluteofDoom, I think I love your nana! And your mom and dad!

I have my own collection of animal skeletons because I'm always getting handed random bones to ID, and I don't want to bother one of the state anthropologists if I don't have to. I have a few bones and skulls that were given to me by people who wanted to know what they were and DEFINITELY didn't want them back.

But to "flesh out" my collection, so to speak, I adopted a tip from a colleague in another state, which involves collecting various dead animals and burying them in my woods until the decomposition process is complete, then excavating the bones, washing and drying them - there are little stakes and flags all over my woods marking where things are "cooking."

Since most of my specimens are victims of motor vehicle accidents, I carry collection equipment in my car (gloves, shovel, garbage bags, duct tape). I will never forget the look on DH's face the first time I made a "score" when he was riding with me: (http://www.clipartof.com/images/emoticons/xsmall2/468_jaw_dropping.gif) (http://www.clipartof.com)(http://www.clipartof.com/images/emoticons/xsmall2/2195_sickness.gif) (http://www.clipartof.com)

Luckily, he got over it and ten years later we're still together! And he not only doesn't bat an eye when I put the clean bones in the dishwasher, he's even used them to gross out a work buddy when they were unloading the clean dishes.

And he gave me a preserved rattlesnake for my office.  ;D

Vorbau
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: FluteOfDoom on August 13, 2008, 11:11:45 AM
FluteofDoom, I think I love your nana! And your mom and dad!

I have my own collection of animal skeletons because I'm always getting handed random bones to ID, and I don't want to bother one of the state anthropologists if I don't have to. I have a few bones and skulls that were given to me by people who wanted to know what they were and DEFINITELY didn't want them back.

But to "flesh out" my collection, so to speak, I adopted a tip from a colleague in another state, which involves collecting various dead animals and burying them in my woods until the decomposition process is complete, then excavating the bones, washing and drying them - there are little stakes and flags all over my woods marking where things are "cooking."

Since most of my specimens are victims of motor vehicle accidents, I carry collection equipment in my car (gloves, shovel, garbage bags, duct tape). I will never forget the look on DH's face the first time I made a "score" when he was riding with me: (http://www.clipartof.com/images/emoticons/xsmall2/468_jaw_dropping.gif) (http://www.clipartof.com)(http://www.clipartof.com/images/emoticons/xsmall2/2195_sickness.gif) (http://www.clipartof.com)

Luckily, he got over it and ten years later we're still together! And he not only doesn't bat an eye when I put the clean bones in the dishwasher, he's even used them to gross out a work buddy when they were unloading the clean dishes.

And he gave me a preserved rattlesnake for my office.  ;D


Vorbau

If that's not true love, I don't know what is!  ;D
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Starchasm on August 15, 2008, 03:00:07 PM
1)  I once, as part of a summer program, was involved in digging up an elephant carcass.  There was an elephant reserve near my college and when one died they would bury it for several years, dig up the bones, and donate the skeleton to a school or museum.  Great charity work, right?

Lets just say that 3 years isn't NEARLY enough time for a full-grown elephant to decompose into bone.  I spent the day knee-deep in gray-green elephant-soup trying to dig out bones.  I had to throw out the shoes and even after THREE showers I had to peel elephant skin off of my legs and arms.  The smell took a full week to go away.

2)  When I was in law school I regularly helped my roommate walk her dog.  One day, before I took the dog out for a walk, I got a call on my cell phone.  It was my roommate asking me if I'd found a tampon.  I was confused until she explained that the dog had gotten into her trashcan and she KNEW there had been a used one in the can, but she didn't find it when she was cleaning up.   :-X  Yep.  Guess where I found it.  The worst part was, the string got caught in the dog's butt so he was scooting around with a tampon hanging out of his butt while I tried to catch him to pull it out.  So. Gross.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: vorbau on August 16, 2008, 08:40:17 PM
Starchasm - My friend had to do something similar with her dog! What is it with these canines!

Yeah, 3 years isn't long enough to decomp something that large. If you ever have to do something like that again, lemon juice is great for getting rid of the smell. Vinegar works too, which is why there's a 1.25 gal jug of it in my laundry room! (And a bottle of lemon juice in the shower.)
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Nimblicity on August 21, 2008, 10:58:04 PM
:-X  Yep.  Guess where I found it.  The worst part was, the string got caught in the dog's butt so he was scooting around with a tampon hanging out of his butt while I tried to catch him to pull it out.  So. Gross.

Same idea here.  Walking my MIL's dog. Alina.  Alina likes to chew up sticks and twigs, but she doesn't chew them well.  She went into the tell-tale squat, but didn't come back up as soon as normal.  She tried again, and I went over with the poop bag to see what was going on.  She looks at me, kind of peeved, gets up and starts walking away... with a poop-covered twig still hanging out!   Well, what do you do?  I put the poop baggy over my hand and grabbed the twig, which came out wtith a small tug.  It was about 5 inches long and even though I have a strong stomach, I nearly couldn't hold it in.  Especially with the confused and slightly violated look the dog gave me.

Eww!
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: dutifuldaughter on August 22, 2008, 03:22:10 PM
Quote
Especially with the confused and slightly violated look the dog gave me.

There is hot tea all over my monitor from reading that.  Especially because I know EXACTLY what look Bienchen refers to!

My sister-in-law's cat was the same with Xmas tree tinsel (really it's awful for animals, it's a wonder the cat survived not one but multiple cases of tinsel-eating).  She said the effect the tinsel removal had on the cat was galvanizing, to say the least.

One of the women I work with had a golden retriever who ate EVERYTHING, including a box of tampons.  Unused in this case.

And only this morning I had to bodily restrain His Pugness from rolling in the thoroughly ripe and flattened remains of a dead rat.  He doesn't usually do such things, but I guess it was just too wonderful to resist.  He's getting a bath before we go to bed tonight, because even though I don't think he made actual contact I can't bear the thought of snuggling the pug if he's bringing dead rat atoms with him.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: bionelly on August 22, 2008, 09:46:51 PM
My sister-in-law's cat was the same with Xmas tree tinsel (really it's awful for animals, it's a wonder the cat survived not one but multiple cases of tinsel-eating).  She said the effect the tinsel removal had on the cat was galvanizing, to say the least.

I used to have a cat that did that.  She also loved the plastic grass people put in Easter baskets.  I'm not sure how many times she ate it, but she lived to the ripe old age of 17, and the plastic eating wasn't what got her.

One of the women I work with had a golden retriever who ate EVERYTHING, including a box of tampons.  Unused in this case.

Our dog hasn't eaten tampons, but he has eaten maxi pads and diapers.  He also had what we now refer to as the "wicker poop", from when he ate a sizable portion of one of MIL's bushes.  It was shaped like a regular poop, but if you looked closely you could see the twigs all woven together like wicker.

The same thing happened with a plastic bag once, and also with another dog's collar.

Speaking of strange things in poop, one of my mom's favorite stories is when I was a baby, and she was changing my diaper, and she noticed something blue.  She pulled it out to take a closer look, and discovered it was a magazine page... from the Reader's Digest!  ;D
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Paper Roses on August 22, 2008, 10:46:39 PM

Speaking of strange things in poop, one of my mom's favorite stories is when I was a baby, and she was changing my diaper, and she noticed something blue.  She pulled it out to take a closer look, and discovered it was a magazine page... from the Reader's Digest!  ;D

Wow!  You digested the Digest! 
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: emeraldsage85 on August 26, 2008, 08:03:49 PM
When I was in high school my biology class did a fetal pig disection. We kept the pigs in covered pans in the fridge. At the end of it all the teacher was cleaning out the fridge and found a pig that had been in there for a entire year. He had missed it during the last year's cleaning session.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Suze on August 26, 2008, 08:09:39 PM
Grandma's dog ate our color crayons

techicolor poop
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: hot_shaker on August 26, 2008, 09:37:58 PM
Can anyone tell me why I thought it was a good idea to eat while reading this thread?  :-X
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: afbluebelle on August 26, 2008, 11:09:35 PM
Note: there is a part on the A-10 named the antenna stab (AS).  It lives up to its name.

I was working on the gun the other day, and didn't duck low enough.  Ran right into the AS of the jet, and split my head open.  Supervisor grabs the truck, and drives me into the building to wash out my bleeding head wound, and to see if it needs stiches.  I am trying to slow down the blood flow with my hand, so it is bright red. 

I gave up and started pricess waving out of the window... blood and all.  It was awesome.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Esther_bunny on August 29, 2008, 12:18:41 PM
Grandma's dog ate our color crayons

techicolor poop

My dog at some glitter once...she had disco poop.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Xallanthia on August 29, 2008, 12:47:37 PM
OK since we're sharing dead animal stories...

When I took mammalogy in college, my professor wanted all of us to learn to prepare study skins, especially because the university collection was somewhat lacking: mammalogy hadn't been taught since the 70's, and this was 2006.  She got some dead test rats from the psychology department, but most of our specimens were collected in the same manner Vorbeau described, from the side of the road.  Many smaller specimens were clean kills performed by animals in the care of classmates (when the cat brings you the WHOLE mouse/vole/etc, not just a piece of it).

Anyway, I wanted something bigger than a small rodent, so I chose a big one: a groundhog.  It had been hit by a car and its skull was probably broken (thus useless) but while we had several groundhog skulls in storage we didn't have a skin yet.

This is where the gross part starts.

This particular groundhog had been collected by a classmate, and had probably been on the side of the road a bit too long, or maybe spent too much time in a fridge before going in the freezer.  Generally, you want them to still be warm, when they're collected.  If the fleas are still jumping off so much the better.   Now, the way you do a study skin is that you cut the animal open up the belly to the neck, and down to the anus, remove the tail and then the limbs, turn the skin inside out and remove the head.  The goal is to do this without puncturing the abdominal cavity, so that you're only removing skin and not muscles or fat.  Also, it makes almost no mess if you can successfully keep the organs in and the muscles out.  Then the skin is scraped to remove excess fat/muscle/etc, turned right side out, stuffed with polyfill and sewed up at the mouth and along the belly seam.  The small bones in the hands and feet remain in the skin (you cut the arm/leg bones as close to the wrist/ankle as possible).

Groundhogs have very thin skin, and I punctured the abdominal cavity.  Not a very big hole, but it was clear that the organs were almost mush, and the most disgusting smell came out of the hole.  I almost retched, left the room, came back and stuffed it with sawdust and kept working.

The whole experience was like that, and the specimen smelled so awful that I took several breaks, but eventually I got the whole skin removed.  This took several lab periods, as we as a class were inexperienced.  The prof (it was her first year) had intended it to be only one lab, since it takes an experienced study skin maker only about 1.5h to do even difficult animals like porcupines.  Anyway, on a new specimen the skin just lifts away, but I ended up having to run across the whole thing with a thin knife because it was stuck, sometimes puncturing the abdominal cavity again and incurring more blood, goop, and stink.  Also poop; the animal died with a full colon (that was THE GROSSEST PART).  It took three labs (4h) and a few class periods (1.5h), and even then I only barely got the whole skin off.  I'm not doing a good job explaining how disgusting it was, because at the time it was just something I had to do and I did my best, but later her grad student, who was experienced with study skins, finished up the skin with cleaning and stuffing, and told me it was absolutely the grossest skin he'd ever dealt with.

Thinking about it still turns my stomach, even though it was also an interesting experience and I wouldn't mind trying it again with a more cooperative skin!  That summer, my cat clean-killed a flying squirrel and I thought about bringing it up to my former prof (I had graduated but was to visit school in about 2 weeks) but I thought my mom would kill me if she found a dead animal in the freezer, even the spare freezer (in a plastic bag of course but still).
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Team HoundMom on August 29, 2008, 01:31:42 PM
My dog at some glitter once...she had disco poop.

I totally would have taken a picture.   >:D

Reminds me of this:
http://www.neatorama.com/2007/12/12/gold-pills-make-your-poop-glitter/
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Suze on August 29, 2008, 02:51:25 PM
Grandma's dog ate our color crayons

techicolor poop

My dog at some glitter once...she had disco poop.

**SNERK**

You are soo glad that I set my drink DOWN with that one
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: thebeckster on August 29, 2008, 03:57:25 PM
Xalanthia,

Okay, really gross about the porcupine, but still funny. It's kind of hard to say "EWWWWW" while laughing, did you know that?
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Bibliophile on August 29, 2008, 04:00:32 PM
My dog at some glitter once...she had disco poop.

I totally would have taken a picture.   >:D

Reminds me of this:
http://www.neatorama.com/2007/12/12/gold-pills-make-your-poop-glitter/


There's something wrong about being able to pan for gold in your toilet bowl.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Suze on August 29, 2008, 04:33:54 PM
My dog at some glitter once...she had disco poop.

I totally would have taken a picture.   >:D

Reminds me of this:
http://www.neatorama.com/2007/12/12/gold-pills-make-your-poop-glitter/


There's something wrong about being able to pan for gold in your toilet bowl.

I guess they are for people who think that they are HOT poopadities

but really $425 for pills to Flush.....WHO thinks these things up and I wonder if they sold any?
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Amatherly on August 29, 2008, 05:55:25 PM
I have a story, though it's mild in comparison to some.  It's also far grosser for my older sister than for me.

When I was about 5 and she was about 8, we were in the backseat of my dad's car as he drove the babysitter home.  I pipe up with "Daddy, I think I'm going to be sick"  He didn't believe me and goes "Well, if you do, do it on *Sister*."  Being 5, I took him seriously.  So five minutes later, I leaned over and threw up on her lap.  She screamed bloody murder and I started crying because not only did I just throw up but now my sister was screaming in my ear.  My dad felt awful.  Thankfully we were really close to the babysitter's house, so once we go there, her mom helped get my sister cleaned up while my dad apologised to her profusely.  I got to lay down in the backseat of the car and moan, while the babysitter watched me to make sure I didn't get sick again.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Esther_bunny on August 29, 2008, 09:30:51 PM
I have a story, though it's mild in comparison to some.  It's also far grosser for my older sister than for me.

When I was about 5 and she was about 8, we were in the backseat of my dad's car as he drove the babysitter home.  I pipe up with "Daddy, I think I'm going to be sick"  He didn't believe me and goes "Well, if you do, do it on *Sister*."  Being 5, I took him seriously.  So five minutes later, I leaned over and threw up on her lap.  She screamed bloody murder and I started crying because not only did I just throw up but now my sister was screaming in my ear.  My dad felt awful.  Thankfully we were really close to the babysitter's house, so once we go there, her mom helped get my sister cleaned up while my dad apologised to her profusely.  I got to lay down in the backseat of the car and moan, while the babysitter watched me to make sure I didn't get sick again.

Once when I was very little (5 or 6) my mom took me to the mall. I told her I didn't feel good. Well she didn't act fast enough b/c 2 seconds later I threw up all over a glass candy counter.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Witty Username Goes Here on September 03, 2008, 04:13:27 PM
Grandma's dog ate our color crayons

techicolor poop

CJ ate crayons.  Unfortunately, it was during VBS when he was being watched by a woman I didn't know very well.  Imagine having to tell her that when she changed his diaper, she may encounter some green or red poo.   :-[  She saved me the diaper.  :-X
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Talamarie on September 03, 2008, 04:26:14 PM
OOOOH I have one from this morning!!

DH is convinced he has food poisoning from cheap chinese food we ate last night.  He woke up this morning and it was coming out of both ends- literally. 

He went to throw up / use the restroom this morning and didn't make it, on either end.

He went back in the living room to clean up vomit to find that the dogs had done it for him.



...being the weird person I am, I laughed and said at least the dogs HELPED.

(I'm really truly, 100% surprised that what happened wasn't him puking, dogs eating it, dogs puking, him puking while cleaning up dog puke, and the cycle repeating.  Our dogs have stomach disorders and throw up EVERYTHING except ultra-pricy organic dog food, and apparently regurgitated chinese food.)
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Esther_bunny on September 03, 2008, 07:39:54 PM
OOOOH I have one from this morning!!

DH is convinced he has food poisoning from cheap chinese food we ate last night.  He woke up this morning and it was coming out of both ends- literally. 

He went to throw up / use the restroom this morning and didn't make it, on either end.

He went back in the living room to clean up vomit to find that the dogs had done it for him.



...being the weird person I am, I laughed and said at least the dogs HELPED.

(I'm really truly, 100% surprised that what happened wasn't him puking, dogs eating it, dogs puking, him puking while cleaning up dog puke, and the cycle repeating.  Our dogs have stomach disorders and throw up EVERYTHING except ultra-pricy organic dog food, and apparently regurgitated chinese food.)

One Christmas one of our cats coughed up a hair ball on the Christmas Tree skirt. It had apparently been there for quite some time b/c it was dry and hard. My mom got down and removed it and w/out looking handed it back to me to throw away. Our dog was quicker and snatched it right out of her hand and ate it. Merry Christmas!
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Team HoundMom on September 03, 2008, 08:32:15 PM
Apparently my friend's dog was eating something at the park and when my friend pried the dog's jaws open she saw that it was a dead bird!  Ewwww!!!!
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: afbluebelle on September 03, 2008, 10:18:02 PM
Some days I question my sanity for working where I do.  Today was one of them.


I will share the tamest conversation tidbit.

Henny: "You know, you aren't a real man until you catch an STD"
AFB:  ???  ???  ???
Henny: "Yeah, being able to perform through the burning in your rooster (my edit) is the true test of manhood"
AFB: :-X  :-X  :-X

You know, I would think a real man would go get tested and not spread the love... silly me ::)
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Reika on September 03, 2008, 10:44:42 PM
I think this thread is the most appropriate for this little scene that came up this weekend. I've mentioned a few times that I've been losing weight, while it's quite wonderful to be losing, there's been some interesting side effects on certain inner workings of the body.

This weekend I was visiting my new best friend, the porcelain throne. And um, not only was it spectacular sound effects, it had some interesting olfactory ones as well.

Mom is passing by: "Oh my gosh! What crawled up you and died?"  :-X

Me: "The dark side of weight loss."

Mom:  ???

Me: "Yeah, the experts don't tell you how you really get rid of most of the weight. It isn't sweated it off, it's not turned into muscle. No! Your poor body gets to poop it all out!"

Not sure if Mom's choking was laughter or not, though later on she did say she found my comment amusing. My body doesn't agree.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: afbluebelle on September 03, 2008, 11:15:51 PM
I feel/smell your pain...  Upping your diet to mainly fiber has some interesting results.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Reika on September 04, 2008, 06:42:49 AM
I feel/smell your pain...  Upping your diet to mainly fiber has some interesting results.

Yeah, I bet. :)

In my case my body has decided that it doesn't need to store all this fat anymore and needs to get rid of it...quickly.  :-X
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Reddie321 on September 04, 2008, 10:57:20 PM
One Christmas one of our cats coughed up a hair ball on the Christmas Tree skirt. It had apparently been there for quite some time b/c it was dry and hard. My mom got down and removed it and w/out looking handed it back to me to throw away. Our dog was quicker and snatched it right out of her hand and ate it. Merry Christmas!

Mind if I top this one?  ;)

My mom told this story from her childhood.  They had a cat that LOVED sitting under the Christmas tree.  Well, my grandmother was apparently johnny-on-the-spot with Christmas presents one year, and had all the presents wrapped and under the tree about a week before Christmas...and never questioned the cat's presence.  Until Christmas morning when she started handing out presents...several of them were "glued" together with dried cat vomit, with some maggots for a festive touch!
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: nliedel on September 05, 2008, 09:24:24 AM
I swore I'd not touch this thread with a ten foot poll and yet, here I am, putting this on the internet for all eternity.

My dog ate a poopy diaper. She's a husky. We put the used wipes in the diaper. She was circling and whining and could not poop. I looked. Close eyes here. She had a baby-wipe coming out of her butt. I got an old wash clothe and pulled it out. Up came another. It was a really bad poop and there were maybe nine baby-wipes in all. Now we call her the dog with the pop-up baby-wipe hind end. I still get icked out by that.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: thebeckster on September 05, 2008, 01:42:30 PM
Sounds like the Kleenex cover that has the tissues coming out of the nose, but for baby wipes!!
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: loomadoom on September 09, 2008, 03:10:30 PM

I read this to Kiwiguy.  His parents walked in on him smeared from head to toe in his own cr@p.  And he'd smeared it all over himself, his clothes, his toys, his playpen...

They were horrified, he was grinning from ear to ear.  He reckons it's just like warm mud. ::)

I  had a similar experience involving an urelated (to me) adult. I was working night shift on the violent ward in a mental hospital at the time. One of our few permanent patients went into her manic phase and on her period at the same time (they frequently and unpredictably coincided). We put her into wristlets as usual so she couldn't reach out and smack anyone and left her free to stride around and sing bits of songs -- think Ktel ad -- until lights out, when we took off the wristlets and put her into an isolation room so the other patients could sleep. We checked her every 20 minutes. I don't know how she did this in such a short time, but when we checked her round toward morning she had had diarrhea and fingerpainted with it all over both sides of her mattress, the door, the walls as far as she could reach (and she was one tall lady), and had soaked her gown in it and was throwing it at the ceiling.

We did not wake the patients and get them dressed that morning. When the day shift came in the patient was showered (she fought) and locked into another isolation room and two of us, soaked and in hospital clothing, were still mopping and wiping down the walls while the third kept an eye on the rest of the patients, passed out clothes to anyone who got up, and did the count checks and morning report with day shift. They, bless them, did not make us stay to complete the cleanup but let us go home to shower. That's the only time it's taken me more than 6 buckets of water to clean a 5x8 room, and I sincerely hope it is the last.

Modified because I do know to remove all the debris when I change my mind.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Midnight Kitty on September 11, 2008, 07:26:55 PM
Vorbau- I read your story twice. The second time I was picturing Stephanie Plum and Lula.
Great story! :D
Two of my favorite characters, hannah_cat ;)

Vorbau's writing style is similar to Janet Evanovich's.  All we need now is a car blowing up >:D
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: kingsrings on September 15, 2008, 12:21:30 PM
Gross thing I witnessed when I worked food service jobs in high school:

Pizza place:

I heard this through the grapevine, didn't actually witness it. We had a large white bucket of pickles in their own juice. A co-worker announced he had to take a pee break one time, and he was dared to pee into the bucket. And he obliged.

A frequent customer-from-hell used to come in late at night, and do eveything he could to be difficult on purpose. One time upon seeing that the salad bar had been put away for the night, he announced that he wanted a sald, and we had to open up the salad bar again because it was still operating house. The pickle bucket pee-er spit into his salad.

Another customer-from-hell: the shift supervisor he had threatened to harm spit a big one onto his pizza as he was making it, I witnessed this.

One time, a big pile of pizza pans fell off of their rack onto the dirty floor. An employee just put them right back into the rack without washing them first.


At the burger/soft serve place:

We had a cook who, in down times, liked to lean against the wall and pick his teeth. When an order came up, he would go right to making the food without washing his hands first.

An empployee was making a Blizzard for a customer and was mixing it up with a big, plastic spoon. Right in front of the customer and our boss, she took out the spoon, licked it clean, and put it back into the Blizzard. Our boss made the customer a new one, and fired the employee.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Outdoor Girl on September 15, 2008, 12:47:11 PM
My Dad does taxidermy as a hobby.  There were all manner of things in our freezer growing up.  We even bought an extra freezer to dedicate to the specimens but my Mom kept putting food in there.  So Mom would take a package of meat out for supper, only to discover at suppertime that it was some critter or other.  So we'd have eggs for supper and Dad would have to skin whatever critter it was since it had been thawed.  Fish, ducks, owls, other birds, weasels, raccoons, skunks - you name it, it was probably in the freezer at some point.

My brother is a fisheries biologist.  We've had little bottles of minnows pickled in formalin in the basement for years.  Dad finally took them to the hazardous waste depot to get rid of them.

And a note for anyone who might be nauseous?  DO NOT eat tomato soup.  I just discovered this one the last time I had a migraine.  I thought I was fine - soup for dinner is supposed to be calming, right?  Not so much when it comes back out.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Shoo on September 16, 2008, 04:27:52 PM
Yesterday I was at my neighbor's house, and I saw that in her backyard was this HUGE mole hill.  It was the biggest mole hill I have ever seen in my life.  Being that I love setting traps and executing moles, I offered to help her set a trap the next day and get rid of it.  But first, she'd want to get a bucket and clear out some of that dirt, because there was just so much of it.

Well, she came over to my house today and I invited her in, and she just stood there sort of shocked looking and asked me to please come and see what she unearthed while clearing out the dirt from the mole hill.  Would I be able to tell what it was?  She was freaking out because it was a DEAD something!

Intrigued, I ran over there as fast as I could!  I wondered if it was some super mole I'd never encountered before!  I put my disposable gloves on and sort of moved the dead thing around a bit, and was able to determine that this dead critter was not a mole, but, rather, a cat.  Correction.  Half a cat.

The back half of the cat could clearly be seen once more of the dirt was removed.  There were the long hind legs, and the even longer tail.  The fur was gray.  The question was, where was the front half of this cat?  The cat was decomposing, of course, but it looked to me to be pretty fresh, because there was still blood and guts. 

Got down on my knees and started digging.  Didn't find the front half of the cat, but I did find a mole tunnel.  It was about two inches in diameter, so it was still a pretty good sized mole! 

My theory is the cat stalked the mole and went after it when it popped out of its mole hill.  The cat dug like crazy to get to the mole, which is what made the mole hill so darned huge, and chased the mole down its tunnel.  The poor cat probably got its head and front end stuck in the little mole tunnel and suffocated.  We presumed the mole (and his buddies?) took what they could of the cat and are enjoying a cat buffet down in their mole tunnels somewhere.

The worst part of it all?  My neighbor thinks it might be their cat.  They have three, which are in and out all the time, and she doesn't think she's seen this particular gray kitty in a few days.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Bibliophile on September 16, 2008, 04:29:59 PM
Oh Shoo....  that's terrible!   :o
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: kingsrings on September 16, 2008, 05:20:03 PM
That's terrible and so sad! And such a bizarre death.....
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: kingsrings on September 22, 2008, 09:06:45 AM
I've had a very gross morning. I am house and dog sitting for a great dane. She sleeps indoors, in a crate, in the same bedroom as I do. This morning she had a lovely bout of diarrhea - in her crate. I heard her moving around in there, but didn't realize that she was about to let loose. Why she didn't bark to let me know she had to go big poo-poo I don't know! And I'm hitting myself for not being alert enough to realize that once she was all moving around like she never does. You ever see big, great dane-sized diarrhea?? All over her crate mattress and the liner underneath, then because she stepped in it it got somewhat on the carpet when she walked out. I ahve spent all morning dragging the poopy mattress outdoors, hosing it off first because it was sooo much poop, then trying to drag it into the washing machine, which was another battle trying to get the machine to take it. I was dry-heaving, it was so big, gross, and smelly. I'll probably have to run the wash cycle twice on it, it's so bad. And I still have to wash the liner and carpet, which I'll have to do after work this afternoon.

This has been the most disgusting morning of my life, I think.  :P
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Team HoundMom on September 22, 2008, 10:41:05 AM
You ever see big, great dane-sized diarrhea??

Yes.  I walked into that same situation while doggy-sitting my co-worker's Great Dane.  Thankfully he was still a puppy (but still pretty big!) and I used to work in a Pet Store so dog poop doesn't gross me out.

My co-worker bought my coffees for a week after that.  ;)
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: kingsrings on September 22, 2008, 10:55:41 AM
I'm hoping that maybe the owners will tack on a little extra $$ to my house/dog-sitting fee to make up for having to clean up their dog's humongous diarrhea poop. I talked to them this morning, and they said that now I know if she stirs again in the night, to get up and let her out. Sometimes the only way you learn a lesson is the hard way I guess.  :P
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Mrs.E on September 22, 2008, 11:46:42 AM
I know how you feel. I had my mastiff/lab 110lb dog get the runs one night. The only difference is that he was loose in the kitchen and it was everywhere! :-X I actually did end up throwing up about 3 time trying to clean it.

At least it was right by the back door so I know he wanted to go out but just couldn't work the dang handle!
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: kingsrings on September 22, 2008, 12:10:16 PM
I only have cats, so I'm used to kitty poops and hairballs, not huge, stinky piles of dog poop.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: kingsrings on September 23, 2008, 11:26:25 PM
And even more grossness tonight!! I came back from a very nice dinner with friends to find diarrhea poop absolutely everywhere in their house, all over the carpets and floors. And it stuck like the worst poop to high heavens. This is possible the grossest and poopiest two days I have ever had. I have just now finished cleaning it up.

Needless to say, the dog is spending her afternoons outside only.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: crankycat on September 25, 2008, 04:12:59 PM
Since we are on the topic of poop...

A year ago, when I had a severly broken arm and shoulder, I was getting ready for work, which was a slow and painful process, and noticed a odd damp spot on my table.  Looking around to try to figure out what made this spot, I noticed more spots leading into the kitchen.  This ended in a large, brown pool under my Cornish Rex. 

Ever try to pick up a sick cat one handed while trying not to get cat diarrehea on your clothes?  The only thing more fun is cleaning up cat diarrehea one-handed.  :P

(My good friend helped me take kitty to the vet.  Vet assumed that just a bad floor snack was consumed.)
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Pinky830 on September 25, 2008, 04:38:23 PM
The vaguely unpleasant smell in my basement the other day turned out to be a dead chipmunk. My cat is quite the hunter, and I imagine he jumped in the open basement window to take his kill off to his lair.

So, as I was reaching for a dumbbell during my workout, I touched something small and dark with coarse hair.

ANOTHER dead chipmunk.

It smells a lot better in my basement now.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: kingsrings on September 29, 2008, 01:59:27 PM
The subject of corndogs came up yesterday, and it triggered this memory from long ago. My family and I went to the local large flea market, where they are known for their corndog snack booths. One afternoon when we went, as we were walking through the parking lot, we came across what looked like a pile of vomit, that looked like a thrown-up corndog.  :P  Big-time ewwww. Now, most times when I see a corndog, I can't get the site of the thrown-up one out of my mind, as much as I love corndogs! And every time I hear that particular flea market mentioned, I always think of the corndog.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Heat04 on September 29, 2008, 02:25:09 PM
I know what you mean, kingsrings.
One time when I was about 10 or so, we were at a Smorgasbord on the boardwalk while on vacation. I hate buffets, and especially smorgasbords, but my dad loved them.
While we were finishing up, a little girl ran beside our table and threw up, leaving a small trail behind her. Her mother was trying to "catch" it, but it didn't help.
I can't walk past that restaurant and not think of that little girl. Totally grossed me out! I am terrified of people throwing up in restaurants now, especially little kids. I actually get a little anxiety. Is that weird?
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: kingsrings on September 29, 2008, 04:19:21 PM
Oh yuck, throwing up in a restaurant. That would totally, completely ruin my appetite. I have never had to witness vomiting in a restaurant, and I hope I never do. The worst was in a line at a drugstore, and the little boy behind me started to vomit, while his mother pleaded with him to hold it the best he could. The clerk handed them a roll of paper towels to clean it up, I don't think it was a lot, or that it got on the floor. Still, I kept my eyes focused ahead and didn't look behind me.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Miss Vertigo on October 01, 2008, 05:29:38 AM
Oh, I've just remembered something from way back when. I was about 15 and helping out on a face-painting stand at some sort of fete at the local zoo - I can't remember how or why I came to be there. Anyway, a mum comes up with a toddler of about 3 years old and asks to have her face painted but says 'but be careful near her nose' - she had some kind of nose-related medical thing going on, I can't remember what it was. At some point during the proceedings, I can't remember whether I either just knocked her nose slightly by accident or forgot the mum's advice, I suddenly realised that it wasn't paint i was smearing over her face with the sponge, but pure snot. What seemed like gallons of it.

*shudders*
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: HeebyJeebyLeebee on October 01, 2008, 09:32:08 AM
I threw up on a CTA train once (Chicago - the "El").  I was a senior in college and was on my way home from my internship.  I hadn't been feeling too well, possibly mild food poisoning, and I didn't make the smartest choice of snack that evening - a candy bar, some chips, and a heavily caffeinated soda.

Luckily, the trains aren't very crowded at the hour I was travelling, but the lady waiting to get off at the next stop screamed and jumped about ten feet in the air and ran to the other door.  I crawled off the train, and continued to vomit, first over the side of the platform (watching for trains), and then I found a trashcan that didn't have a cover over it.  Some jerk made a crack about college kids drinking too much.  Between heaves, I yelled at him "I am stone sober!  I have food poisoning!"

I eventually made it back to my dorm, and my roommate was very kind to help me get cleaned up.  I had it all over me.   :-[
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: WendyB on October 02, 2008, 07:06:21 PM
The Scene

The hottest day of the year. the 2 previous trains were canceled so 3 train loads of people crammed on 1 train that isn't going anywhere and probably will be canceled

The Gross out

A little boy, maybe 3, is overcome by the heat, no aircon on trains, and starts throwing up and up and up on bystanders who can't get out of the way cause the trains full. The boy only stops throwing up when someone grabs him from his mother and sticks his head out the window, the train wasn't moving. The boy and mom get off the train to seek medical help.

and of cause this train doesn't get canceled so we got stuck in a over full train filled with vomit and people covered in vomit for an hour.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Amy Rose on October 02, 2008, 07:08:34 PM
I'm not really bothered by gross things. I was a little bothered when I had to clean up a dead rabbit when my mom and I found it in the shed, but I wasn't so disturbed that the fur was at one point a rabbit. That I could deal with. I wanted to know where the skeleton went.

I'm in Entomology right now, and just about the grossest thing is dissecting something whose body is basically fat and chitin. I told my teacher that I'd gutted fish (true. I also fillet them), and that was nowhere near as gross as finding half-digested, unidentifiable food in your locust.

I'm not disturbed by rotting flesh, "animal soup", etc. Cicadas, however, gross me out.

My spider story is that I was bitten by a brown recluse. With that animal, the venom basically makes your skin die and slough off. I didn't notice until my mom saw huge blood stains on the back of my white t-shirt. The wound was deep, and you could literally see my spine- it was awesome! The sucky part was that it must've exposed a nerve, because my left arm has a perpetual "pins and needles" feeling. (And it's not a heart attack, unless heart attacks last over half a decade)
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: hot_shaker on October 02, 2008, 07:13:24 PM
My spider story is that I was bitten by a brown recluse. With that animal, the venom basically makes your skin die and slough off. I didn't notice until my mom saw huge blood stains on the back of my white t-shirt. The wound was deep, and you could literally see my spine- it was awesome! The sucky part was that it must've exposed a nerve, because my left arm has a perpetual "pins and needles" feeling. (And it's not a heart attack, unless heart attacks last over half a decade)

Oh, yeah, that's bad.  Normally spiders don't bother me but I'm paranoid about brown recluses.  Even though I live in an area where they don't (often) reside.

Back when I was Girl Scout, my leader was bit by one.  I don't think her bite was too bad though.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Amy Rose on October 02, 2008, 07:18:30 PM
My spider story is that I was bitten by a brown recluse. With that animal, the venom basically makes your skin die and slough off. I didn't notice until my mom saw huge blood stains on the back of my white t-shirt. The wound was deep, and you could literally see my spine- it was awesome! The sucky part was that it must've exposed a nerve, because my left arm has a perpetual "pins and needles" feeling. (And it's not a heart attack, unless heart attacks last over half a decade)

Oh, yeah, that's bad.  Normally spiders don't bother me but I'm paranoid about brown recluses.  Even though I live in an area where they don't (often) reside.

Back when I was Girl Scout, my leader was bit by one.  I don't think her bite was too bad though.

Mine wasn't bad- I didn't have to get skin grafts. I do wish that I'd caught it in time, and gotten the electric needle (no anti-venom... yay!), but really one survives if one makes sure to keep the wound clean. It doesn't bleed as much as you'd think, but having an open sore is an invite to infection.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Mrs.E on October 02, 2008, 11:20:00 PM
My spider story is that I was bitten by a brown recluse. With that animal, the venom basically makes your skin die and slough off. I didn't notice until my mom saw huge blood stains on the back of my white t-shirt. The wound was deep, and you could literally see my spine- it was awesome! The sucky part was that it must've exposed a nerve, because my left arm has a perpetual "pins and needles" feeling. (And it's not a heart attack, unless heart attacks last over half a decade)

Oh, yeah, that's bad.  Normally spiders don't bother me but I'm paranoid about brown recluses.  Even though I live in an area where they don't (often) reside.

Back when I was Girl Scout, my leader was bit by one.  I don't think her bite was too bad though.

Mine wasn't bad- I didn't have to get skin grafts. I do wish that I'd caught it in time, and gotten the electric needle (no anti-venom... yay!), but really one survives if one makes sure to keep the wound clean. It doesn't bleed as much as you'd think, but having an open sore is an invite to infection.

My dad was bitten by one on the inside of his thigh. The doctor stupidly gave him cortizone shots which drew the poison out and made the bite bigger. He now has a hole in his leg that you can stick your thumb in! This was at least 15 years ago
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Amy Rose on October 03, 2008, 12:01:49 AM
My spider story is that I was bitten by a brown recluse. With that animal, the venom basically makes your skin die and slough off. I didn't notice until my mom saw huge blood stains on the back of my white t-shirt. The wound was deep, and you could literally see my spine- it was awesome! The sucky part was that it must've exposed a nerve, because my left arm has a perpetual "pins and needles" feeling. (And it's not a heart attack, unless heart attacks last over half a decade)

Oh, yeah, that's bad.  Normally spiders don't bother me but I'm paranoid about brown recluses.  Even though I live in an area where they don't (often) reside.

Back when I was Girl Scout, my leader was bit by one.  I don't think her bite was too bad though.

Mine wasn't bad- I didn't have to get skin grafts. I do wish that I'd caught it in time, and gotten the electric needle (no anti-venom... yay!), but really one survives if one makes sure to keep the wound clean. It doesn't bleed as much as you'd think, but having an open sore is an invite to infection.

My dad was bitten by one on the inside of his thigh. The doctor stupidly gave him cortizone shots which drew the poison out and made the bite bigger. He now has a hole in his leg that you can stick your thumb in! This was at least 15 years ago

Yeah, you can stick your finger in mine.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Mrs.E on October 03, 2008, 09:18:44 AM
What was so funny is at the time he was bitten I was in 4-H ( for those of you who know what it is), Mom took pictures of all the stages of the bite and we made a project out of it! I still have the board somewhere.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: thebeckster on October 03, 2008, 01:11:13 PM
Okay, making a 4H project out of a gross thing?

You Win!
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: HeebyJeebyLeebee on October 03, 2008, 01:26:04 PM
The 4-H project acutally sounds prety cool!
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: PeasNCues on November 19, 2008, 07:57:00 PM
We found a dead rabbit the other day behind our fence - it was whole except for it was missing its head. We're given to understand that owls will sometimes eat the head and leave the rest. Ewww
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Mrs.E on November 19, 2008, 09:11:52 PM
The 4-H project acutally sounds prety cool!
Okay, making a 4H project out of a gross thing?

You Win!

It was actually very cool. There were so many people interested in it. I think I won an award for it too!
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: snowfire on November 19, 2008, 11:26:38 PM
We've had a few moderate gross outs.  Nothing like Vorbau's "squirrel puddle" though!

1. Friend's Samoyed dog would eat anything and everything.  She ate an indelible blue marker one time and all bodily fluids were blue for a while.  The color didn't come off until the fur shed out.  Rather funny on a snow white dog.

2.  Same dog ate a cassette tape.  We were able to get most of it out of her mouth, but not all.  For about a week afterward her poops came out like beads on a necklace.   :-X

3.  Friends bachlorette party.  We had bbq'd at my apartment, each bringing different things to cook and sides to share. Everything went fine.  Then we took her to Chippendale's.  I was designated driver and was not drinking anything but Coke.  Others had a few drinks.  A bit later in the evening I started feeling funny and queasy.  One of the other girls was as well.  I got her to the car and started trying to round up the other two.  A while later I managed to find them.  We started back for my friend's house and one of the girls in the back seat sticks her head out the window and puked all down the side of the car.  Then the smell and sounds set the rest of us off.  All four of us were horking down the sides of the car or out the doors.  I got the two friends home to their apartment, then I crashed on Bride to Be's couch because I just couldn't drive any longer.  We spent the next day drinking ginger ale and playing Space Invaders.  (That dates me!  It was 1981).  Then we had to wash the car.  :P  As near as we can figure out, all of us got food poisoning from an unwashed salad.  It was the only thing that all four of us ate. 

4.  Finding cat puke with your bare feet.  BTDT.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Miss Vertigo on November 20, 2008, 04:04:55 AM
The Scene

The hottest day of the year. the 2 previous trains were canceled so 3 train loads of people crammed on 1 train that isn't going anywhere and probably will be canceled

The Gross out

A little boy, maybe 3, is overcome by the heat, no aircon on trains, and starts throwing up and up and up on bystanders who can't get out of the way cause the trains full. The boy only stops throwing up when someone grabs him from his mother and sticks his head out the window, the train wasn't moving. The boy and mom get off the train to seek medical help.

and of cause this train doesn't get canceled so we got stuck in a over full train filled with vomit and people covered in vomit for an hour.

Something similar, although not quite as gross and was actually quite funny (but not funny for the poor people in the next carriage): I was coming home from a gig in London one night on the last train. There was a girl sitting asleep on the floor, in the space where the doors are. She really didn't look too well, despite being asleep. Suddenly she got up and stumbled her way to the next carriage with her hand over her mouth, obviously looking for a toilet to throw up in, but there isn't one in between these two sets of carriages. So she sort of burst through the door into the next carriage and all we heard from ours was a multitude of shouts (mostly male) of:

 "No!!"
"Nooooooo!"
" Oh G-D, NOOOOO!!!!"

 followed by

'rallllllllllllllllllllllllphhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh'.

Everyone in our carriage was cracking up because it was just so surreal, but I can imagine it was pretty horrible for those in the carriage in which she er, aimed. The train was on a diversion, so it was at least an hour before we pulled into a station.

Snowfire: Catpuke/bare feet: Happens to me at least once a week, usually either first thing in the morning or just after I've got out of the shower. Wooden floors = not easy to spot, see.

There's also the 'cat puke in the washing machine' scenario, which occurs when you don't notice that one of said cats has done the deed in the pile of washing before you put it in the machine. How they get it in the middle, Lord only knows, but they do.  You'd think the cycle would wash it all away. Nope. Little tiny bits of very clean cat puke, all over the wash when you pull it out. Gross.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: bigozzy on November 20, 2008, 06:14:57 AM
Not sure if this is gross or interesting.
One of those Xmas catalogues came through our door and the boys got to it before I could bin it. They claim it aids in making a list!

Top of the list from this one?

Real, sterilised owl puke including tools to take apart said puke to investigate whatever said owl had for dinner!
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Team HoundMom on November 20, 2008, 08:32:01 AM
There was this white* guy sitting on the bus in front of me the other day with dreadlocks.  The dreadlocks looked like, I am not kidding, like a cat barfed up many long hairballs and glued them to this guy's head.  :-X They just looked matted and filthy and gross but of course I couldn't stop staring.  :P

*noted because IMHO dreadlocks don't work well on white people.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Esther_bunny on November 20, 2008, 12:40:21 PM
There was this white* guy sitting on the bus in front of me the other day with dreadlocks.  The dreadlocks looked like, I am not kidding, like a cat barfed up many long hairballs and glued them to this guy's head.  :-X They just looked matted and filthy and gross but of course I couldn't stop staring.  :P

*noted because IMHO dreadlocks don't work well on white people.

He just wasn't taking care of them! Anybody's dreads will look bad if they don't maintain them and wash them.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Shea on November 20, 2008, 02:11:07 PM
Not sure if this is gross or interesting.
One of those Xmas catalogues came through our door and the boys got to it before I could bin it. They claim it aids in making a list!

Top of the list from this one?

Real, sterilised owl puke including tools to take apart said puke to investigate whatever said owl had for dinner!

Oh yes, owl pellets! I used to dissect those all the time as a kid. You can get out lots of little mouse skulls and stuff. They're great, definitely get them for your boys! ::runs away::
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Ferrets on November 20, 2008, 02:40:27 PM
Not sure if this is gross or interesting.
One of those Xmas catalogues came through our door and the boys got to it before I could bin it. They claim it aids in making a list!

Top of the list from this one?

Real, sterilised owl puke including tools to take apart said puke to investigate whatever said owl had for dinner!

Oh yes, owl pellets! I used to dissect those all the time as a kid. You can get out lots of little mouse skulls and stuff. They're great, definitely get them for your boys! ::runs away::

Seconded. bigozzy, it's educational - go for it!

[Would have swapped all those wretched Barbie dolls I ever received as a girl for just one packet of owl pellets. ;) Says the woman who is currently halfway through her Dig For A Velociraptor kids' toy. ;D]
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: HeebyJeebyLeebee on November 20, 2008, 03:14:20 PM
Snowfire: Catpuke/bare feet: Happens to me at least once a week, usually either first thing in the morning or just after I've got out of the shower. Wooden floors = not easy to spot, see.

There's also the 'cat puke in the washing machine' scenario, which occurs when you don't notice that one of said cats has done the deed in the pile of washing before you put it in the machine. How they get it in the middle, Lord only knows, but they do.  You'd think the cycle would wash it all away. Nope. Little tiny bits of very clean cat puke, all over the wash when you pull it out. Gross.

I'm quite familiar with hardwood floors, bare feet, & cat puke.  One cat has the nasty habit of eating too fast in the morning, and then pukes it right back up.   :-X  Guess who's home unemployed lately?   ::)

I've also experience the mystery of puke the wash.  Luckily, the cats have since been banned from the basement, and laundry room since that's where it is.  No more mystery laundry puke.   ;D
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: bigozzy on November 20, 2008, 03:27:21 PM
Not sure if this is gross or interesting.
One of those Xmas catalogues came through our door and the boys got to it before I could bin it. They claim it aids in making a list!

Top of the list from this one?

Real, sterilised owl puke including tools to take apart said puke to investigate whatever said owl had for dinner!

Oh yes, owl pellets! I used to dissect those all the time as a kid. You can get out lots of little mouse skulls and stuff. They're great, definitely get them for your boys! ::runs away::



Thankyou ::)
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: bigozzy on November 20, 2008, 03:28:35 PM
Not sure if this is gross or interesting.
One of those Xmas catalogues came through our door and the boys got to it before I could bin it. They claim it aids in making a list!

Top of the list from this one?

Real, sterilised owl puke including tools to take apart said puke to investigate whatever said owl had for dinner!

Oh yes, owl pellets! I used to dissect those all the time as a kid. You can get out lots of little mouse skulls and stuff. They're great, definitely get them for your boys! ::runs away::

Seconded. bigozzy, it's educational - go for it!

[Would have swapped all those wretched Barbie dolls I ever received as a girl for just one packet of owl pellets. ;) Says the woman who is currently halfway through her Dig For A Velociraptor kids' toy. ;D]



Maybe I should just give them a house brick. That would be cheap and give hours of fun.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Paper Roses on November 20, 2008, 04:42:48 PM
Oh, I just remembered a really good one:

A girl I used to work with told me this.  Back when her mother was pregnant with her, she got a bad cold.  She couldn't take any medicine for it (or didn't know if she could, I forget which, but either way, she was suffering) and carried tissues with her everywhere.  Well, this particular night, she was riding home on the train, and she had a box of tissues with her.  She was constantly, and I mean constantly, blowing/wiping her nose, and she had nowhere to put the tissues.  But the purse she had with her at the time didn't have much in it, so she put the contents of the purse in her pockets and was using the purse to put the used tissues in until she could empty it into a trash can.

Well, at one stop, some guy got on the train, and spotted her sitting by herself, with the purse next to her.  He nonchalantly sat close to her, and then, in an attempt to pickpocket, stuck his hand in her purse.  Apparently his screams of disgust were pretty loud. 

Sweet Justice, I say.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Stormtreader on November 20, 2008, 05:54:13 PM
Not sure if this is gross or interesting.
One of those Xmas catalogues came through our door and the boys got to it before I could bin it. They claim it aids in making a list!

Top of the list from this one?

Real, sterilised owl puke including tools to take apart said puke to investigate whatever said owl had for dinner!

Oh yes, owl pellets! I used to dissect those all the time as a kid. You can get out lots of little mouse skulls and stuff. They're great, definitely get them for your boys! ::runs away::

Seconded. bigozzy, it's educational - go for it!

[Would have swapped all those wretched Barbie dolls I ever received as a girl for just one packet of owl pellets. ;) Says the woman who is currently halfway through her Dig For A Velociraptor kids' toy. ;D]

Ooo, i want one! I am the 28 yr old woman who has asked her parents to buy her the new Dragonology or Monsterology book for xmas. Apparently my mother was most amused when I asked her for last years Dragonology book, and she was rather haughtily directed to the childrens section. :D
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Kimblee on November 20, 2008, 08:07:15 PM
Our cat has found a new way of killing mice.

Houdini is too good to chase mice, so he sits on our counter, and when a mouse goes past, drops a can of beans on it and squishes it.

Its sick, yet hilarious.... I've gotta get a video of him doing this.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Shea on November 21, 2008, 12:20:22 AM
Our cat has found a new way of killing mice.

Houdini is too good to chase mice, so he sits on our counter, and when a mouse goes past, drops a can of beans on it and squishes it.

Its sick, yet hilarious.... I've gotta get a video of him doing this.

Post it...please? Pleeease??
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: snowfire on November 21, 2008, 01:15:35 AM
Oooh, I had forgotten about the time we were cleaning our pool.  It was empty and we were sweeping it out.  A mouse ran across in front of Mom and she whacked it with the broom.  Broke the plastic head of the broom and it didn't do the mouse much good either.  :-X.  I was a bit annoyed because it was our only broom at the time.  I also wasn't thrilled at having to scrub mouse guts off the bottom of the pool with a hand scrubber.

There was also the time when DH was sicker than a dog with the standard crud/flu bug that seems to come around most winters.  He was projectile blasting north and south, and south was getting mighty tender.  I just ended up putting him in the shower each time and letting him blast.  Then I would hose him down with the hand held shower and put him back to bed.  It was much easier on both of us than dealing with the john and a bowl.  Also, I didn't gag so much from the smell when I could just wash it down the drain.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: MasterofSquirrels on November 21, 2008, 01:32:53 AM
my kitty doesn't like to eat mice... he will kill them, but they bother his belly so he doesn't eat them.

he instead will lick off all of the mice's fur and leave the bloody icky carcass on the rug for me and DH to find.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Kimblee on November 21, 2008, 11:18:40 AM
my kitty doesn't like to eat mice... he will kill them, but they bother his belly so he doesn't eat them.

he instead will lick off all of the mice's fur and leave the bloody icky carcass on the rug for me and DH to find.
umm...

eww.

But at least he's trying to bring you dinner...
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: snowfire on November 21, 2008, 10:03:07 PM
I had a cat who was strictly a trophy hunter.  Missy was a beautiful seal point Himalayan and WAY too much of the Princess to ever eat a raw mouse. Ewwww.  But she loved to hunt.  It always amazed me that she could catch anything since she was really cross eyed, as well as one pupil higher than the other.  She was truly an amazing hunter though.  There would never be a mark on the body, no blood either.  I think that she would bring them to us and expect us to either skin and tan the hide so that she could have a mouse skin bed, or mount the head on a plaque for her den.

Eat raw mouse and never brush your teeth....Gack!!!!     Not my Princess.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Suze on November 22, 2008, 05:43:19 AM
or fix them so that they can "play" with them some more....
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: kingsrings on November 23, 2008, 09:39:14 PM
When I worked at a pizza place in high school - I had one of those 80's perms on my long, blond hair. I had it pulled back in a headband, but of course, my hair still flowed as it was only pulled back at the front. One time I was bringing a pizza to a table and was bending down to get something with the pizza in one had, when my boss alerted me that my hair was either dangling down onto the pizza, or dangling down and about to touch it. I can't remember now it was so long ago if it ever actually touched the pizza, but I think I gave it to the table anyway.  :P
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: RegionMom on November 26, 2008, 03:52:07 PM
Last week I had my students come up one at a time to the counter to paint their hand brown and do a turkey handprint for Thanksgiving.  Then we washed hands and the next child was called.
A child I had already done came back and asked for a wet-wipe.  I knew my co-teacher was also doing brown marker on a project so I handed her one, and then she said, Poopie."
uh u, she had pooped in her diaper, then put he hand in it, then asked for a wet wipe.  Ugh. 

Not quite as bad as the newly toilet trained child who came to school with diarrhea and sweat pants.  double ugh and an evacuation of the room...
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Stormtreader on November 26, 2008, 06:13:58 PM
Last week I had my students come up one at a time to the counter to paint their hand brown and do a turkey handprint for Thanksgiving.  Then we washed hands and the next child was called.
A child I had already done came back and asked for a wet-wipe.  I knew my co-teacher was also doing brown marker on a project so I handed her one, and then she said, Poopie."
uh u, she had pooped in her diaper, then put he hand in it, then asked for a wet wipe.  Ugh. 

Not quite as bad as the newly toilet trained child who came to school with diarrhea and sweat pants.  double ugh and an evacuation of the room...

You mean you had a little kid who asked for a wetwipe when she had poop on her hand? Quickly, we need her to train the rest of the herd! :D
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Gwywnnydd on November 28, 2008, 01:14:24 AM
Oh, I just remembered a really good one:

A girl I used to work with told me this.  Back when her mother was pregnant with her, she got a bad cold.  She couldn't take any medicine for it (or didn't know if she could, I forget which, but either way, she was suffering) and carried tissues with her everywhere.  Well, this particular night, she was riding home on the train, and she had a box of tissues with her.  She was constantly, and I mean constantly, blowing/wiping her nose, and she had nowhere to put the tissues.  But the purse she had with her at the time didn't have much in it, so she put the contents of the purse in her pockets and was using the purse to put the used tissues in until she could empty it into a trash can.

Well, at one stop, some guy got on the train, and spotted her sitting by herself, with the purse next to her.  He nonchalantly sat close to her, and then, in an attempt to pickpocket, stuck his hand in her purse.  Apparently his screams of disgust were pretty loud. 

Sweet Justice, I say.

I now have tears running down my face from laughing at the poetic justice here :).
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: snowfire on November 29, 2008, 03:05:03 AM
Many years ago I was over at a friends house.  At the time, her Mom was working at the local zoo in the nursery with the baby animals.  She frequently carried treats in her pockets for the baby elephant, who would reach in with his trunk and lift them out.

After her Mom came home, my friend was looking around for some snacks and saw some cookies in her Mom's jacket pocket.  D pulled one out and was about to bite into it when her Mom yelled "Don't eat that, it has elephant snot on it." Ewww.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: hermanne on November 30, 2008, 01:35:22 PM
I just remembered this the other day...

When I was about 9-11 years old, I was playing in my parents' barn. Our house was under constant renovation at the time, so the barn was used for storage. It was mostly woodwork -- baseboards, paneling, and such -- that was either ripped out of our house or taken from another house that was being torn down and was waiting to be installed in our house. It wasn't unusual for said woodwork to have nails sticking out of it.

So I was walking over a pile of wood, thinking that my brand new sneakers would protect my tender feet. Nope. A nail went right through my shoe and into the arch of my foot. I froze, then yelled for my brother who was in a different part of the barn. He jumped on the end of the board (while I was yelling, "No no no...!!!"), yanking the nail out of my foot and shoe.

So I limped back to the house and into the bathroom to clean myself up. (I got so many cuts and scrapes as a kid that my mom showed me how to take care of my injuries, and after that I'd just take care of it myself and tell her later.) So I sat on the edge of the tub with a towel and peroxide bottle, poking at the hole in my foot. That's when I saw that part of the rubber sole of my shoe had been jammed up into my flesh.

I needed to get it out! My brother had left a box of fishhooks on the side of the tub (clean! unused!), so I took one and went digging.

I still have the scar on the bottom of my foot. :P
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: 2littlemonkeys on December 03, 2008, 01:30:00 PM
I've always had pets of some sort, so I've stepped in...stuff...more times than I care to count.   But this one still makes me laugh:

One night, Dh and I were in our bedroom watching the news.  Kitty jumped up onto the bed and started batting around one of her toys.  I happened to glance at the toy and thought, "that's odd, I don't remember buying her a mouse toy that lookedsorealOHMYG*DGETTHATTHINGOFFTHEBED!!!"

Kitty had gifted us with her catch of the day.  DH wouldn't touch it and I was honored with the chore of disposing of the mouse.  All the way to the door, I kept praying it was dead and not just stunned.


This one isn't THAT bad but one day, I was lying (laying?) on the floor playing with YDD.  I was 'flying' her over my head when a huge wad of drool fell and went right into my mouth.  I am, however, forever grateful that it wasn't one of her projectile vomit episodes.  It's funny and a little sad how casual I've become about poop and puke, LOL
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Midnight Kitty on December 03, 2008, 06:33:23 PM
This one isn't THAT bad but one day, I was lying (laying?) on the floor playing with YDD.  I was 'flying' her over my head when a huge wad of drool fell and went right into my mouth.  I am, however, forever grateful that it wasn't one of her projectile vomit episodes.  It's funny and a little sad how casual I've become about poop and puke, LOL
Sounds like the video clip on America's Funniest Home Videos where someone does the "flying over my head" with a little one who apparently hadn't been burped completely yet.  Out of one mouth and into the other :-X
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: momof2bratz on December 04, 2008, 03:52:19 AM
We had a cute little jack russel/poodle cross called Scraps who loved to eat crayons. This usually resulted in some very colourful poop. One day when DD was 2, we let her play in the yard. DH looked out in the garden, and asked me why I had given her chocolate so close to dinner. Nope, that was not chocolate....turns out we'd missed one of Scraps colourful leavings when picking up in the garden, and DD decided it was chocolate and ate it  :-X I scrubbed that childs mouth for an hour after that episode!

My nephew also has a tendancy to eat garden items....his favourite is snails :-X And my SIL's puppy Jensen, loves bringing in frogs and tearing them apart in front of everyone to show what a good dog he is guarding their yard.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: beingkj on December 12, 2008, 06:37:27 AM
Mine's a disgusting kitty one...

While my dad loves cats, he hates feral cats and the uncontrolled cat population with a passion. So he's always very careful to desex pet cats as soon as they're old enough.

One time he decided to save on vet bill by desexing the new male kitten himself. He was worried that Smudge would be upset with him afterward, and was prepared for an angry, sore kitty.

Nope.. Smudge jumped off his lap when the job was done, found his testes where they'd been thrown on the lawn, and ate them!
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: hermanne on December 12, 2008, 12:37:51 PM
I am pregnant. (10 weeks!) Pregnant women should not read some of these posts.

(http://bestsmileys.com/puking/4.gif)
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Pinky830 on December 12, 2008, 12:47:57 PM
Mine's a disgusting kitty one...

While my dad loves cats, he hates feral cats and the uncontrolled cat population with a passion. So he's always very careful to desex pet cats as soon as they're old enough.

One time he decided to save on vet bill by desexing the new male kitten himself. He was worried that Smudge would be upset with him afterward, and was prepared for an angry, sore kitty.

Nope.. Smudge jumped off his lap when the job was done, found his testes where they'd been thrown on the lawn, and ate them!

For having amateur surgery with no anesthesia, I'd say Smudge let him off pretty easy.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Bibliophile on December 12, 2008, 12:49:15 PM
Mine's a disgusting kitty one...

While my dad loves cats, he hates feral cats and the uncontrolled cat population with a passion. So he's always very careful to desex pet cats as soon as they're old enough.

One time he decided to save on vet bill by desexing the new male kitten himself. He was worried that Smudge would be upset with him afterward, and was prepared for an angry, sore kitty.

Nope.. Smudge jumped off his lap when the job was done, found his testes where they'd been thrown on the lawn, and ate them!

For having amateur surgery with no anesthesia, I'd say Smudge let him off pretty easy.

I was thinking the same thing!  He's lucky that Smudge didn't go after your dad's "goodies".
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: beingkj on December 12, 2008, 02:32:53 PM
For having amateur surgery with no anesthesia, I'd say Smudge let him off pretty easy.

I was thinking the same thing!  He's lucky that Smudge didn't go after your dad's "goodies".

I know... I guess it's true that the younger they are, the less they notice it.

I should have put in my post that Dad runs a sheep station. So, while he's not a trained vet, he does know more about animal surgery than the average layperson. (He's stitched up out dogs when they've had accidents too).
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: little bird on February 11, 2009, 06:17:31 PM
Quote
One time when I was about 10 or so, we were at a Smorgasbord on the boardwalk while on vacation. I hate buffets, and especially smorgasbords, but my dad loved them.
While we were finishing up, a little girl ran beside our table and threw up, leaving a small trail behind her. Her mother was trying to "catch" it, but it didn't help.
I can't walk past that restaurant and not think of that little girl. Totally grossed me out! I am terrified of people throwing up in restaurants now, especially little kids. I actually get a little anxiety. Is that weird?

One time in college I was at a Ruby Tuesdays with a few friends, sitting at a booth by the window.  Halfway through our meal, one of my friends shrieked and pointed outside.  Right there, facing us, was a teenage guy projectile vomiting.  It was on the window, all over him, all over the sidewalk. 

I still haven't been back to a Ruby Tuesdays and just walking near one makes me feel like I'm going to be sick. 
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Gyburc on February 12, 2009, 08:16:02 AM
This may not be suitable for vegetarians...

DH and I bought five ducks back in November, two of whom were drakes. We decided that one was going to be Christmas Dinner, and in due course, the drake was despatched. (DH very kindly did this while I was out at work, and made sure Draco did not suffer.) We plucked the bird and singed off his down as much as possible, then removed the innards and took off the head, feet and most of the wings. Not wanting just to put these in the rubbish-bin, DH buried them about 1.5 foot deep in the garden.

A couple of days later, DH discovers the large crater in the garden where some unidentified creature has dug up the duck remains, and finds one of the wings half-way across the lawn. Cue DH and me in horrified hysterics that one of the neighbour's cats may be sauntering into their house this very minute with a severed duck-head in its mouth...

We never heard anything more about this, fortunately, and the duck was delicious (smothered in butter and tarragon, and roasted).

Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: ShieldMaiden on February 12, 2009, 11:09:01 AM
I have a dead animal story!  Though it's not as entertaining as squirrel puddles.  ;D

A couple of summers ago my mom called me over to her house to check out the garage.  She said it had a strange smell to it.  Sure enough, when I got there it was that distinct smell of decomp.  So we set out to find the cause.  We were in the hot garage for probably 45 minutes, moving things around when I finally found a giant dead and slightly mushy rat under some mattress railings.

Apparently, I jumped up and gleefully yelled "I found it!" and then did a little victory dance (from that point onward, mom has called it the 'dead rat dance').

So I managed to scrape it onto a shovel and made my way into the back yard to toss it over the fence into the unused and overgrown lot behind it.  I made a huge arc with the shovel to throw it as far away as possible and SPLAT....I managed to launch the rat with all my strength into a tree just two feet from the fence.  It remained splatted against the trunk for about a minute, before slowly sliding down and landing on a branch....where it stayed.  I checked a few days later and it wasn't there, I guess an animal found it.

As a side note, my mother still mentions the dead rat dance, and my husband is dying to see it.  But it's not something that you can just recreate.   :P
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: PeasNCues on February 12, 2009, 11:30:10 AM
Oooo I remember one! (I wonder if I posted it! I dont remember!)

One time for my father's birthday, my mom bought him 2 aquatic frogs as a joke. ShieldMaiden and I had named them Silly and Lilly, but dad promptly changed their names to Fatty and Stupid. Well, Fatty was called fatty because it was obese as it ate all of Stupid's food. Stupid was stupid becaust it let it.

Well, it ends up Fatty was pretty stupid too because it would constantly jump out of the water. Many a time found Shieldmaiden and I crawling on the floor to scoop up Fatty and put it back in the water. Finally, one day, we could not find and had to eventually give up.

Months later, Fatty was discovered by my young sister and cousin - who proceeded to make Fatty's mumified remains a pet in thier doll game before we found out.

My dad threw Fatty into a field behind our house. Hours later, our dog, Rum, being a good retriever, approaches. "What's in your mouth, Rum?" mom asks, expecting a pine cone. Next thing we hear, "Ughhhh, it's Fatty!!!" Rum ended up retrieving that frog from the field 4 times before he let be.

Well, Stupid, who ended up being the smart one, is still with our family at 17 years of age (older than my younger brother). She is now quite fat.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: thebeckster on February 12, 2009, 11:44:26 AM
I love the names Fatty and Stupid, they're so desciptive.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Harriet Jones on February 12, 2009, 12:01:23 PM
It's really only mildly gross, but I discovered my cat is a mouser the other night.  He kindly left me a present in the middle of the kitchen floor.  :-X
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Miss Misery on February 12, 2009, 12:32:29 PM
It's really only mildly gross, but I discovered my cat is a mouser the other night.  He kindly left me a present in the middle of the kitchen floor.  :-X

My family once had a cat who was quite the killing machine, except her prey of choice was bunnies. More than once we opened the front door to find a nice bloody pile of guts, bunny ears and feet on the stoop.

Fun times.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Xallanthia on February 12, 2009, 12:49:50 PM
It's really only mildly gross, but I discovered my cat is a mouser the other night.  He kindly left me a present in the middle of the kitchen floor.  :-X

My family once had a cat who was quite the killing machine, except her prey of choice was bunnies. More than once we opened the front door to find a nice bloody pile of guts, bunny ears and feet on the stoop.

Fun times.

My parents' outdoor cat, who was an excellent hunter, has been dead for two years.  However, I still don't step on the mat where she used to leave us presents!  As the only member of my family who never put a bare foot into Remains, the instinct to step over it is still too great.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Pinky830 on February 12, 2009, 01:14:12 PM
We had people over after church one day, and walked in the door to find that our cat had killed a bird on the deck next to the kitchen door. There were feathers and smeared blood everywhere. As I told DH, "Remind me again why we keep these predators as pets in out homes?"
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: arkzak on February 12, 2009, 02:43:48 PM
I don't remember if I already posted this, but here goes anyway...

When DH and I first moved in together, we lived in a tiny mews at the back of an old house. It was full of cracks and crevices, and was apparently a holiday camp for big, fat, hairy spiders.

I can't stand the things, so poor DH was on permanent splatting duty. One day we had a particularly juicy specimen on the wall. I was doing my usual routine of hopping up and down going eekgetridofitewwewewewewewwwww. So DH hit it with a rolled-up newspaper, and it was so fat it splashed back on him.  :-X

That was the last straw and we moved out shortly thereafter.

Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: kingsrings on February 13, 2009, 05:42:53 PM
It's really only mildly gross, but I discovered my cat is a mouser the other night.  He kindly left me a present in the middle of the kitchen floor.  :-X

My family once had a cat who was quite the killing machine, except her prey of choice was bunnies. More than once we opened the front door to find a nice bloody pile of guts, bunny ears and feet on the stoop.

Fun times.

One of my brother’s co-workers related this dead bunny story – his cat, over the course of several nights, brought home a rabbit each time and left it on the porch. First it was an adult male, then an adult female, then two or more baby rabbits. Yup, the cat had killed off an entire rabbit family, one by one, and left them as presents.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: JenJay on February 13, 2009, 06:31:01 PM
I was in Search and Rescue and went to put a gentleman in a bodybag (he had passed away quite a while before we found him) and his head rolled across my foot and down the hill! SHUDDER! I had to toss those boots. I couldn't even look at them without feeling it again!  :-X

On the flip side. I met my hubby when we were assigned to the team together to go find the head! Talk about the funny looks when people asked how we met. "Over someones dead body." :)

Oh no. I'm pretty sure there is something very wrong with me because that made me laugh so hard! My apologies to the poor man....
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Shea on February 13, 2009, 08:46:53 PM
I love the names Fatty and Stupid, they're so desciptive.

I once had a chicken named Curiosity, for reasons you can well imagine ::).
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Midnight Kitty on February 17, 2009, 05:17:46 PM
I still have the scar on the bottom of my foot. :P
You're lucky you didn't end up with tetanus or an abcess, or both!
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: hermanne on February 19, 2009, 12:40:19 PM
I still have the scar on the bottom of my foot. :P
You're lucky you didn't end up with tetanus or an abcess, or both!

No kidding! I told my mom but I never got a tetanus shot until years later, and being the barefoot freak I was I could find the peroxide bottle blindfolded.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: iradney on February 20, 2009, 04:40:44 AM
Hmmmm
Grossness...

Short story: Went to visit a friend, and another friend was there with her new puppy. Friend A (the one being visited) lived in an apartment with a balcony and no garden.
Friend B (with the puppy) let the puppy run around the house while we gabbed. I went upstairs to use the facilities, and being we were very casual in each other's houses, I was barefoot.
SPLOTCH! Into a pile of fresh puppy-doo. Yay...  :-X

WARNING: BLOOD AHEAD

When I was 14, my cousin was basketball mad. So her dad decided to make her a custom bball pole. Silly man pulled the angle grinder TOWARD himself while cutting the pole, and laid his leg open from knee to ankle (shin).

The garage had a door that led into the TV room, which contained myself and my cousin. My uncle is standing there with blood gushing from his leg, and you can clearly see bone. Cousin promptly freaks out, and I wrap a towel around his foot (so blood doesn't get on the carpet) and walk him to the bathroom. Rinse out the gash, pour in some surgical spirits, close it with a couple plasters and send him off to hospital for stitches.

Mom and Aunt get home while I'm scrubbing out the few spots of blood that DID get on the carpet. Tell them the story and they're all  :o that I stayed so cool.
I can handle blood. I can handle vomit. I can handle pus. Poop, on the other hand????? EEEEEEEEW
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Midnight Kitty on February 20, 2009, 03:44:19 PM
Cut down to the bone is never good.  Misty caught her nose on a slack fence wire in November 2007 and cut it open down to the bone.
(http://inlinethumb22.webshots.com/3285/2004513820039000897S425x425Q85.jpg) (http://pets.webshots.com/photo/2004513820039000897hsOWen)
My first thought was, "Her pretty face is ruined!"

Here she is today:
(http://inlinethumb36.webshots.com/35043/2770072320039000897S425x425Q85.jpg) (http://pets.webshots.com/photo/2770072320039000897ZVYjYs)
You can barely see the scar unless you get very close.  The vet did a great job; The wound took 24 stitches to close.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: veraobsession on February 22, 2009, 05:45:45 AM
My brother started walking overnight it seemed. We had stairs in our house and since the local wal-mart was about 30 min. away Mom just put something very similiar to this at the bottom of the stairs to keep him from going up until we could get to the store to get a gate.
(http://www.topdeq.com/medias/sys_master/8450953160358784.jpg)
The only difference was that our was made of wood with sharp points of metal at the tips.

I was coming down the stairs to go to a ball game and was messing with my sock. Started falling at the about the 4th step from the top. 13 steps total. One point went through my chin and was poking me in my gums and the other went into my arm. I was hung there and when my mom came to find out what the commotion was she saw me, freaked, and just jerked my head up from where it was still stuck. Not cool. Still have scars from both.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Julia S on February 22, 2009, 07:29:53 AM
Her Majesty was never a good hunter. Sure, she could catch flies (and eat them), but mice were beyond her. One morning I came into the living room and there was blood all over our cream white sofa. She had a catflap, so my first thought was that she went out during the night and had an accident. I shouted her name and she cheerfully walked in from the kitchen to greet me. I picked her up and examined her for a good 10 minutes, but couldn't find anything wrong with her. So I followed her into the kitchen to give her some breakfast.
And there, in her bowl, was a mouse. With a mouse trap still attached. :-X

It was the only mouse she ever 'caught'. ::)
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Suze on February 22, 2009, 10:31:30 AM
Her Majesty was never a good hunter. Sure, she could catch flies (and eat them), but mice were beyond her. One morning I came into the living room and there was blood all over our cream white sofa. She had a catflap, so my first thought was that she went out during the night and had an accident. I shouted her name and she cheerfully walked in from the kitchen to greet me. I picked her up and examined her for a good 10 minutes, but couldn't find anything wrong with her. So I followed her into the kitchen to give her some breakfast.
And there, in her bowl, was a mouse. With a mouse trap still attached. :-X

It was the only mouse she ever 'caught'. ::)

Oh, good one

my "great white hunter" is sprawled across the back of the couch right now.....I don't think she would know what to do with a mouse if it bit her on the nose.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Nimblicity on February 22, 2009, 12:36:14 PM

And there, in her bowl, was a mouse. With a mouse trap still attached. :-X

It was the only mouse she ever 'caught'. ::)

That is so funny!
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Nimblicity on May 08, 2009, 02:46:54 AM
I now have cause to bump this thread.

Our balcony is quite large, and there's nothing between us and the nesting sparrows in the gutters above us.  Every year, some sparrow chicks get pushed out of the nest and land on our balcony, to the great joy of our indoor cat. 

We came back after a 3 day weekend to find a chick, dead, on the balcony, looking none too fresh.  The cat immediate ran over and started pawing it and licking it.  I didn't think he should eat a chick that was already starting to bond with with wooden floor.  I went to get a few paper towels to dispose of the chick.  When I came back out, I stopped to say something to DH.  I was leaning a little to the left, meaning my right heel was a bit up off the floor. 

As I put my weight back down on my right leg, I happened to look down and saw that the cat had unstuck the chick from the balcony floor and brought it over to me, laying it right down by my heel.  But I didn't see this soon enough to stop my heel from coming down on the edge of the chick's distended belly, which disintegrated into a slimy mess.

Needless to say, I hopped into the bathroom on one foot while cursing mightily, washed off my foot, and returned to the balcony to find that the cat had eaten the silly bird, or what was left of it, anyway.

ETA: typo
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: kingsrings on May 12, 2009, 12:11:50 PM
Sorry Bienchen, I am LOL! Ugh, what a gross, freak mess that is.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: vorbau on June 02, 2009, 04:13:18 PM
Bumping with a new story from last night, or rather early this morning. I went swimming ...

I got called out about 0400 because the detective on call was sick (really, seriously food poisoning sick, apparently - poor dude is in the hospital for dehydration, so I think I'll forgive him) and I am the squad commander. Dead body/probable homicide call at a local park area.

The park has several wetlands preservation areas and a couple of those drainage ponds that are designed to catch rain and runoff. Because this time of year is so damp, the water frequently doesn't evaporate but stagnates, breeding some truly magnificent pond scum. The health dept sprays something to prevent mosquitoes breeding, which seems to give the scum a shot in the arm.

Well, at the scene the victim (yeah, it was a homicide, poor man) was lying under some trees near the edge of a slope. There are some floodlights around the park area proper, if you follow me, but the area where he was, was very dark, and the floodlights made everything either really white or really black. I didn't realize that at the bottom of this small slope was a drainage pond - don't think I'd ever been to that part of the park.

We had to wait for some technicians and photographers to arrive, so I organized an evidence search while we waited - we all had flashlights. I volunteered to take the quadrant behind the body (including the pond - you see where this is going, don't you?) and headed out to the perimeter we'd set up to start working back toward the victim. And promptly stepped off solid ground and straight into the drainage pond, which in the flashlight looked exactly like the grass I was walking on.

The water was "only" about 6' deep (according to one of my cheerful, helpful colleagues) but that's over my head! I came out wet, filthy, and sputtering, looking like the Creature From The Black Latrine and smelling like forty pounds of tuna salad gone bad. My colleagues, of course, are wetting themselves laughing - I mean, two of them were down on their hands and knees, howling and pounding the ground, they were laughing so hard.

And, since I was in charge, I couldn't leave to go change my clothes! Wouldn't you know it, the one time I really need it, I don't have any extra garments (except socks) among the gear in my car. One of the guys offered me a t-shirt from his car - I don't know what was worse, my slowly stiffening, stinky clothes, or his filthy t-shirt he'd used for checking the oil. I opted for my own clothes.

Finally, when the techs got there, I appropriated a coverall from the CSI van. DH, who has had to get used to some pretty icky stuff - and this isn't nearly the worst - said I smelled like low tide.

And I ordered a 2mil candlepower battery spotlight to add to my equipment. At least this time it wasn't a landfill...

Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Midnight Kitty on June 02, 2009, 05:31:22 PM
I came out wet, filthy, and sputtering, looking like the Creature From The Black Latrine and smelling like forty pounds of tuna salad gone bad.
I am so ashamed of myself, rolling on the floor laughing.  Where is my compassion?

What I really liked about your story was that the dead body was not the gross part.

Spinoff:  I inspect sewage treatment plants.  Many people do not realize that wetlands are stinky places.  The decomposition releases hydrogen sulfide (H2S) gas, the same gas present at sewage treatment plants.  Unfortunately, most people are unaware that H2S gas is not solely "sewage gas."  I often must field complaints that someone is dumping sewage into the wetland.  No matter how absurd (the wetland is miles away from the nearest source of sewage and there is a legal place to discharge sewage closer), they insist they smell sewage.  When I can't identify who dumped the sewage, I'm the incompetent one who doesn't know how to do my job and is covering up for the guilty party who is probably my relative.

Now, I recognize the environmental benefit of wetlands, maybe more than the average person, but I understand why so many wetlands were filled in and made into "useful" land instead of stinky, scummy, mosquito breeding grounds.  PR for coral reefs is much easier ;)
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: vorbau on June 02, 2009, 06:45:40 PM
I came out wet, filthy, and sputtering, looking like the Creature From The Black Latrine and smelling like forty pounds of tuna salad gone bad.
I am so ashamed of myself, rolling on the floor laughing.  Where is my compassion?

What I really liked about your story was that the dead body was not the gross part.

Spinoff:  I inspect sewage treatment plants.  Many people do not realize that wetlands are stinky places.  The decomposition releases hydrogen sulfide (H2S) gas, the same gas present at sewage treatment plants.  Unfortunately, most people are unaware that H2S gas is not solely "sewage gas."  I often must field complaints that someone is dumping sewage into the wetland.  No matter how absurd (the wetland is miles away from the nearest source of sewage and there is a legal place to discharge sewage closer), they insist they smell sewage.  When I can't identify who dumped the sewage, I'm the incompetent one who doesn't know how to do my job and is covering up for the guilty party who is probably my relative.

Now, I recognize the environmental benefit of wetlands, maybe more than the average person, but I understand why so many wetlands were filled in and made into "useful" land instead of stinky, scummy, mosquito breeding grounds.  PR for coral reefs is much easier ;)

Actually, I kinda feel better about it now - at least I got a good E-Hell story out of it!

And yeah, I'm pretty sure there was some H2S there - by the look of my shoes, there was a lot of decomposing "organic matter" on the bottom of the pond. I hope we don't have to go back and actually search the pond - the dive team will not be happy.

Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Midnight Kitty on June 02, 2009, 07:09:06 PM
I hope we don't have to go back and actually search the pond - the dive team will not be happy.
Hopefully they will wear wetsuits ..
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: snowfire on June 03, 2009, 12:33:19 AM
Thanks, vorbau!!! I now have a matched set of toenail marks on my chest where my cat hit the afterburners when I started laughing.  ;D  :o 

You have such a vivid turn of phrase, & I have a very visual imagination. I'm not sure which is worse, the "squirrel puddle" or the "Creature from the Black Latrine".  You DO have an interesting life....
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Tsaiko on June 03, 2009, 09:00:17 AM
I came out wet, filthy, and sputtering, looking like the Creature From The Black Latrine and smelling like forty pounds of tuna salad gone bad.
I am so ashamed of myself, rolling on the floor laughing.  Where is my compassion?

What I really liked about your story was that the dead body was not the gross part.

Spinoff:  I inspect sewage treatment plants.  Many people do not realize that wetlands are stinky places.  The decomposition releases hydrogen sulfide (H2S) gas, the same gas present at sewage treatment plants.  Unfortunately, most people are unaware that H2S gas is not solely "sewage gas."  I often must field complaints that someone is dumping sewage into the wetland.  No matter how absurd (the wetland is miles away from the nearest source of sewage and there is a legal place to discharge sewage closer), they insist they smell sewage.  When I can't identify who dumped the sewage, I'm the incompetent one who doesn't know how to do my job and is covering up for the guilty party who is probably my relative.

Now, I recognize the environmental benefit of wetlands, maybe more than the average person, but I understand why so many wetlands were filled in and made into "useful" land instead of stinky, scummy, mosquito breeding grounds.  PR for coral reefs is much easier ;)

That reminds me of a geology trip we took in college to look at a stream/wetland environment. There were about 15-20 of us in the class. We were wearing heavy steel toed shoes, but not waders. The area was wet from a recent rain and it was hard to tell what was an inch of soft mud and what was 2ft of soft mud.

I'm sure you can see where this is going.

One of my class mates stepped off into knee deep, black, sulfurous mud. It smelled like egg salad left in the sun for six hours had exploded all over him. And there was no way to clean if off of his jeans. We rode in the van with him, had all the windows rolled down, and still had people gagging in the back. It was foul.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: vorbau on June 03, 2009, 05:05:28 PM
Thanks, vorbau!!! I now have a matched set of toenail marks on my chest where my cat hit the afterburners when I started laughing.  ;D  :o 

You have such a vivid turn of phrase, & I have a very visual imagination. I'm not sure which is worse, the "squirrel puddle" or the "Creature from the Black Latrine".  You DO have an interesting life....

Thanks! that's a true compliment (and I'm blushing). Sorry about the scratches though!

Yeah, homicide ... it's not just a job, it's an adventure.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: kingsrings on June 04, 2009, 12:15:03 PM
I have always been interested in forensics and one of my Facebook friends is currently studying criminal justice. She'll often post FV statuses describing what she is studying, and since I have an interest in it, I will engage her in discussion. Last week or so she announced that she was studying etymology, and had to look at many pictures in the book that were really, seriously disgusting. Just thinking about it was making my stomach turn. If I ever decide to pursue her major as well, as much as it interests me, I don't know how I'd handle that particular subject of it. 
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Harriet Jones on June 04, 2009, 12:20:57 PM
Last week or so she announced that she was studying etymology, and had to look at many pictures in the book that were really, seriously disgusting. 

Words are so gross!  ;D

Did you mean entomology? 

(This isn't a spelling flame, really!  The word substitution made me chuckle...)
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: kingsrings on June 04, 2009, 04:07:14 PM
 :-[ Oops, sorry. Yes, that is what I meant. The spell-check gave me that, so I just copied and pasted it into here.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Xallanthia on June 05, 2009, 10:13:10 AM
I was thinking, entymology... I studied that, what so gross about bugs?  I love bugs!

Then my brain went "dead body + bugs."  I understand now.   :-X
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: kingsrings on June 05, 2009, 12:15:37 PM
Oh yeah - bugs feasting on bodies is definitely not a pretty picture. And to think that one would have to as part of their major have to intently study it and know every detail about it is even worse!  :P If I ever get to that point of pursuing this major, I don't know how I'd handle it.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Midnight Kitty on June 05, 2009, 06:49:05 PM
one of my Facebook friends is currently studying criminal justice. She'll often post FV statuses describing what she is studying,
What are "FV statuses?"
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: vorbau on June 05, 2009, 09:24:34 PM
Entomology is probably the grossest as far as forensics goes for me, but I have to admit the little critters are useful (except when they're biting me!). I took a 40hr seminar from a leading light in the field, who delighted in serving us stuff like fried rice and gummi worms after we'd been studying, well, bugs!

His daughter once left him a note on the fridge in their kitchen: "Dad, you need to do something with that dead rat in the freezer. It's making the ice cream taste funny."
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Pinky830 on June 08, 2009, 08:08:02 PM
Reminds me of the time I was microwaving a frozen squirrel to make a study skin for a biology class in undergrad. I lived across the street from the classroom building and there wasn't a microwave in the building, so...

Well, drat. One of my roomies just had to come home right then, and saw the squirrel in there with its frozen little paws in the air. Boy, was she unamused.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: snowfire on June 08, 2009, 09:11:42 PM
 :-X

My cats, however, would love this.  They think the microwave is a cat call since I nuke their wet food if it has been in the fridge. 
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: vorbau on June 09, 2009, 03:36:29 AM
I don't know why I just remembered this one. (Probably because I haven't been able to sleep and insomnia does weird stuff to your brain!)

In college, I lived in a house with six other students of various ages, genders and majors. We all got along really well until one summer, when we let the friend of one housemate rent our living room couch for the summer - the dorms closed for the summer, he didn't want to go home, and he hadn't been able to find another place to share for such a short time. He wasn't too bad except a) he snored like a buffalo stuck in a swamp and b) he had difficulty distinguishing between food he paid for and food he hadn't (i.e., our food).

Till one day when the roommate who was majoring in biochemistry left a note on the fridge that said, "Whoever ate the contents of the container in the freezer marked "Rich," good luck. That was my biology experiment."
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: readingchick on June 09, 2009, 12:35:15 PM
I don't know why I just remembered this one. (Probably because I haven't been able to sleep and insomnia does weird stuff to your brain!)

In college, I lived in a house with six other students of various ages, genders and majors. We all got along really well until one summer, when we let the friend of one housemate rent our living room couch for the summer - the dorms closed for the summer, he didn't want to go home, and he hadn't been able to find another place to share for such a short time. He wasn't too bad except a) he snored like a buffalo stuck in a swamp and b) he had difficulty distinguishing between food he paid for and food he hadn't (i.e., our food).

Till one day when the roommate who was majoring in biochemistry left a note on the fridge that said, "Whoever ate the contents of the container in the freezer marked "Rich," good luck. That was my biology experiment."

Okay, I think that takes the cake.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Esther_bunny on June 09, 2009, 04:21:47 PM
I was thinking, entymology... I studied that, what so gross about bugs?  I love bugs!

Then my brain went "dead body + bugs."  I understand now.   :-X

I love forensic entomology! If I was smarter I'd be studying that, epidemiology, and forensic nursing.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: VorFemme on June 10, 2009, 09:47:26 AM
I don't know why I just remembered this one. (Probably because I haven't been able to sleep and insomnia does weird stuff to your brain!)

In college, I lived in a house with six other students of various ages, genders and majors. We all got along really well until one summer, when we let the friend of one housemate rent our living room couch for the summer - the dorms closed for the summer, he didn't want to go home, and he hadn't been able to find another place to share for such a short time. He wasn't too bad except a) he snored like a buffalo stuck in a swamp and b) he had difficulty distinguishing between food he paid for and food he hadn't (i.e., our food).

Till one day when the roommate who was majoring in biochemistry left a note on the fridge that said, "Whoever ate the contents of the container in the freezer marked "Rich," good luck. That was my biology experiment."

Okay, I think that takes the cake.

I've read & heard this one before a LOT - must be something to do with the metabolism of guys in their late teens & early twenties (they eat anything and everything).  I know that my own brothers made some interesting meals - including the time they left my then 15-year-old baby brother at home, alone, with a three pound meatloaf that was supposed to feed the four of them for days (I was married and Lil Sis was off at college).  Bro came home from band practice (marching) and Mom & Dad came home from holding a wedding (pianist/witness & officiating preacher) to find Baby Bro making a sandwich from the last scrapings of meat loaf in the pan.

He'd eaten the whole thing (shades of a line from a commercial) - no Pepto Bismol was needed though.  He was apparently still hungry.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Outdoor Girl on June 10, 2009, 11:00:03 AM
My 17 year old nephew is 6'3" and about 150 pounds.  He'll eat just about anything that isn't nailed down.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: vorbau on June 11, 2009, 05:11:30 AM
We say of DS, 17, 5'8 and 140, that he will eat anything that won't eat him first. BF calls him "the appetite with feet." Since I was a teenage girl, I find his intake fascinating and somewhat disconcerting. I am now on a first-name basis with most of the checkers at our grocery store.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: kingsrings on July 13, 2009, 04:19:39 PM
Five years ago I was at an outdoor, backyard party. The hosts had a dog that was running around the yard of course. There was a bread bowl of one of those spinach dips on the table. When I went to eat some, it was nearly gone, and looked like someone had scraped it nearly clean all around the sides. But I still just scraped out some of what was left for my own serving. A few minutes later I found out that it wasn't a person who had scraped it nearly clean before I got my hands on it like I thought, it was the dog.  :P
Well, what could I do at that point, the damage had already been done, I had already ingested doggie germs. I just remembered how a scientist friend of mine had once told me that dog's mouths are cleaner than humans.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Nimblicity on July 14, 2009, 01:14:13 PM
Speaking ingesting animal germs, have you seen this? It is equally adorable and really gross:

Swine flu patient zero (http://lh5.ggpht.com/_1lzyqaMwII0/SfsrQKoRs_I/AAAAAAAAAnY/BsaimnIsNwo/s1600-h/mexican_swine_flu_patient_zero%5B4%5D.png)
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Outdoor Girl on July 14, 2009, 01:37:58 PM
My supervisor was driving at night with his family.  Everyone (but him as the driver) was asleep.  He was thirsty and reached for a water bottle in the cup holder.  And took a big swig.

He promptly rolled the window down and spit all the water out.  His wife awakened with the commotion and informed him that he had just swigged from the bottle she'd been giving the dog!  And started laughing, which woke the two kids.  Story was repeated and the entire van was apparently laughing like loons, except for my supervisor.  Even the dog looked like she was smiling.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: J.D. on July 18, 2009, 10:40:10 AM
I'd forgotten about this thread, but I have another one - although it's not technically mine, it's my boyfriend's story. Warning: This one's about blood.

On June 18 of this year, BF had his tonsils out. His doctor warned us that most patients will either vomit/ bleed the day of the surgery, or about a week after when the scabs come off.  Eleven days post-op, BF arrived home from his mother's place, where he'd been recuperating.  We didn't get home until midnight, and fell into bed, exhausted.  Around three in the morning, I heard BF get up, and thought I heard the sound of vomiting. He'd mentioned feeling some bleeding, and I figured it was the post-op vomit we'd expected. No.

BF came into the bedroom, flicked on the light and and could only get out, "Hospital. Now."  We ended up having to call an ambulance to get him there. Evidently, there was a vein or artery that had been nicked, because the amount of blood was insane - he had to go back in for a second surgery to cauterize it. I hadn't been paying attention to anything but getting BF taken care of, so I didn't realise how much blood there was until I arrived home around 8 that morning. My bathroom looked like a Jackson Pollock painting. BF's clothes, which I had in a bag, were the same; we had to throw them out.

I didn't find out until later that the poor EMT who was driving was new to the job and was still squeamish. . . and BF filled five or six of those kidney basins with blood on the way in . . . he said that between coughing up blood, he and the EMT who was looking after him were laughing at the poor driver.  ;D
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Reika on July 18, 2009, 10:55:59 AM
This isn't as gross as some of the other tales, but I thought still fitting.

My cat was curled up on mom's lap when mom passed some very noisy gas. Startled, Kallie sat up, started sniffing the air. Then she sniffed mom's crotch, head went back up, head went down for another sniff, then she made the cutest face of absolute disgust before running off. Through it all mom just sat there in disbelief, but even she had to laugh at how the cat handled it.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: kingsrings on July 18, 2009, 02:39:54 PM
My brother used to like to fart in the cat's face just to laugh at her reaction....
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: BabyGirl41 on July 22, 2009, 09:43:27 AM
WARNING! EXTREMELY SENSITIVE!                  When my now 18 year old brother was 5, he got out of the shower and slid naked down our bannister. One of the poles was loose, and their was a screw sticking out of it. He jarred it out while sliding and the screw went straight through his area that rhymes with modem. The paramedics arrived, all not a day over 22, and all color drained from their faces. He got very lucky because A. it didn't pierce anything vital, and B. doc that was on call a the hospital was a urologist. He doesn't slide down bannisters anymore.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Team HoundMom on July 22, 2009, 10:22:11 AM
An ex-BF told me a story about how when he was around 10 he and his buddy had a homemade go-kart.  Ex-BF managed to smash into a tree or something and tore a huge gash right under his (manly bits.)  Apparently his best friend's dad took him to the hospital, where of course he had to sit in the waiting room for hours bleeding all over the floor.  The nurse told the dad to apply pressure to the area - or as ex-BF put it, "So there was Shawn's dad sitting there in the waiting room holding my b@lls."  *snicker!*
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Kimblee on July 22, 2009, 07:49:51 PM
An ex-BF told me a story about how when he was around 10 he and his buddy had a homemade go-kart.  Ex-BF managed to smash into a tree or something and tore a huge gash right under his (manly bits.)  Apparently his best friend's dad took him to the hospital, where of course he had to sit in the waiting room for hours bleeding all over the floor.  The nurse told the dad to apply pressure to the area - or as ex-BF put it, "So there was Shawn's dad sitting there in the waiting room holding my b@lls."  *snicker!*

*dies laughing*
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: CeeBee on July 28, 2009, 07:19:41 PM
Speaking of testicles... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wayne_Shelford (fourth paragraph for gory details)

And I have to wonder at the irony of me reading through this thread yesterday, finding a great deal of amusement at all the weird and wonderful stories and then this morning find two lovely little piles of cat puke on our carpet. I've had my cat for 10 years and until now, he has NEVER puked inside.

Oh well, at least is wasn't squirrel juice.  :P
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Midnight Kitty on July 28, 2009, 07:59:23 PM
Even healthy cats occasionally upchuck what with hairballs, sensitive stomachs, etc.  Usually our cats puke on the floor; The hall seems to be their preferred puke point.  We're OK with that.  We have laminate floors and it cleans up easily.  If we catch the cats "in the act," we'll comfort them.  We never scold them for using the floor.  If they start on the bed, we quickly sweep them onto the floor & tell them they are good & it's OK.

No one was home last week when one of them puked partially on my pillow, flowing down the side of the mattress, onto the library book on the nightstand, and continued down the side of the nightstand onto the floor.  I take pride in treating library books with care.  I will be stopping by the library today to purchase the book.  I'm going to tell them it is impossible to get cat puke off the page edges.  It even spread between the pages of a closed book.  I tried to clean it up, but it ain't happenin'.  The more I thought about it, the more I realized there is no way I can return this book to circulation.  I can hardly stand to handle it myself!
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Pinky830 on July 28, 2009, 08:23:53 PM
I was changing DD's diaper one day when she was a very young toddler, maybe 15 months. She could only say maybe 20 words. Well, suddenly she pointed at her bottom and said, "Bottom!" She froze like "wait for it..." and let out this huge fart, then laughed like a loon. Yep, my infant DD was doing the "puul my finger" joke.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Nimblicity on July 29, 2009, 12:03:00 PM
Even healthy cats occasionally upchuck what with hairballs, sensitive stomachs, etc.  Usually our cats puke on the floor; The hall seems to be their preferred puke point.  We're OK with that.  We have laminate floors and it cleans up easily.  If we catch the cats "in the act," we'll comfort them.  We never scold them for using the floor.  If they start on the bed, we quickly sweep them onto the floor & tell them they are good & it's OK.

No one was home last week when one of them puked partially on my pillow, flowing down the side of the mattress, onto the library book on the nightstand, and continued down the side of the nightstand onto the floor.  I take pride in treating library books with care.  I will be stopping by the library today to purchase the book.  I'm going to tell them it is impossible to get cat puke off the page edges.  It even spread between the pages of a closed book.  I tried to clean it up, but it ain't happenin'.  The more I thought about it, the more I realized there is no way I can return this book to circulation.  I can hardly stand to handle it myself!

MidnightKitty, I'm dying of laughter!   ;D ;D
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: hermanne on July 29, 2009, 01:40:28 PM
I was changing DD's diaper one day when she was a very young toddler, maybe 15 months. She could only say maybe 20 words. Well, suddenly she pointed at her bottom and said, "Bottom!" She froze like "wait for it..." and let out this huge fart, then laughed like a loon. Yep, my infant DD was doing the "puul my finger" joke.

LOL!!! Potty humor starts early! ;)
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Midnight Kitty on July 29, 2009, 04:40:01 PM
The more I thought about it, the more I realized there is no way I can return this book to circulation.  I can hardly stand to handle it myself!

MidnightKitty, I'm dying of laughter!   ;D ;D
I went to my local library yesterday and "cleared the books."  I told them what happened to the book.  I told her it wasn't damaged badly, but it's unsanitary and there is no way to sterilize it without damaging the paper.  They know me well at this library, as I have been coming in on a weekly basis for 10 years.  They waived what charges they could, but it still cost over $30.  Darn that cat for ruining an almost new hard cover best seller!

The librarian said she hopes the cat is feeling better.  I think she was relieved to have someone own up to damaging a book and not argue about how much they owe.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: kingsrings on September 14, 2009, 04:20:57 PM
I heard about this incident from a friend just last weekend. There is a restaurant around here that serves fruit freezes. They’re always slightly overlapping the cup, so sometimes spilling over a bit. My friend ran into an acquaintance who was there having a Boy Scout meeting with fellow den leaders (all adults). He was buying them all fruit freezes. When they arrived slightly running over the cup, he picked up each cup and carefully licked around the edges, cleaning up the spillage. Then he proceeded to serve them to his fellow den leaders, who were in another room and didn’t have a clue to the considerate action he just did on their behalf…..
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Azrail on December 26, 2009, 06:07:30 AM
I can't believe I've never run into this thread before! My story:

A couple of weeks ago hubby and I were at another couples' house. We were playing rummy and eating snacks and telling silly jokes and laughing. The female of the other couple started choking on her chip, threw her hand over her mouth and threw up in it. It dribbled inbetween her fingers and onto her lap. Some got on the floor. The poor thing was still laughing inbetween bursts of vomit.

The night ended shortly after that.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Danismom on December 26, 2009, 07:48:47 PM
I was in the break room/meeting room for one of the nursing units I cover.  One of the ways for our nursing staff to advance is to prepare and post educational materials, usually tri-fold poster-foam board.  For some unknown reason, we've seen several cases of Fournier's Gangrene (gangrene of the guy parts).  Pictures similar to those in this link were posted clearly on display in the break room.  YICK!  I couldn't imagine eating lunch with those sitting there!!  I'm guessing someone else felt the same way....later in the day the pics were covered by a flap you had to move to be able to see.
Note:  These pics are definitely not for the faint of heart and show before and after the male tissue is surgically debrided.
http://cyberlectures.indmedica.com/show/74/1/Fournier%27s__Gangrene (http://cyberlectures.indmedica.com/show/74/1/Fournier%27s__Gangrene)
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Dazi on December 26, 2009, 08:10:56 PM
About 10 years ago I went to babysit a friend's baby who was just about a month or 2 old (her first and only, btw).  It was the first time she had left her for any length of time (her and her DH were going to dinner and a movie...a whole evening out. yeah!).  My mom had watched the baby a few times while she went to the grocery store or went to do laundry, etc. 

She nearly canceled because she said the baby was being fussy and she didn't think she was feeling well. 

I got there about an hour before they left (at her request) so she could get ready and since she was a little nervous about leaving the baby(she wanted to see how we interacted...I didn't have a problem with it and chalked it up to nervous new mother syndrome). 

About 30 minutes after they left, I picked up the baby only to have her puke down my back.  It was the most vomit I have ever seen come out of any creature that size. It went all the way down my back , down my pants and into my shoes before I could even put her down (and I really mean down my back/hair, she puked inside my shirt and it ran all the way down...I still am not sure how she managed it.)  I had to call my mom to bring me a change of clothes/shoes and to watch the baby for a quick shower...it was *that* bad (this is someone I knew well enough to have showered at her home before...besides, it was sort of an emergency).  While I was in the shower, mom gave baby a quick bath (thanks mom).

She was fine after all that nastiness came out of her.  Turns out she was having issues with the formula she was on...they had just changed it because the first one was giving her so much trouble.  It took a few more tries to get the type of formula correct, but she never puked on me again... thank Deity.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Karmelita on December 28, 2009, 03:26:39 PM
This thread reminds me of something that happened to my mom when I was a kid.

It was the middle of winter (very cold) and she was over at the neighbor's house, helping the wife cook a meal of some sort which involved chopping onions.  Mom LOVES onions, and when she looked down and saw one stuck to her shirt she just grabbed it and popped it into her mouth.

Only...well, they had a very tall dog at the time.  This dog had a long "beard" and was pretty drool-y.  Apparently he had come in from outside not long before and when he brushed up against her, a bit of frozen drool from his beard got stuck on her shirt...and she happened to find it before it melted.  She didn't realize what had happened until after she put it in her mouth.  Yech!!!
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: JonGirl on December 29, 2009, 04:18:15 AM
This thread reminds me of something that happened to my mom when I was a kid.

It was the middle of winter (very cold) and she was over at the neighbor's house, helping the wife cook a meal of some sort which involved chopping onions.  Mom LOVES onions, and when she looked down and saw one stuck to her shirt she just grabbed it and popped it into her mouth.

Only...well, they had a very tall dog at the time.  This dog had a long "beard" and was pretty drool-y.  Apparently he had come in from outside not long before and when he brushed up against her, a bit of frozen drool from his beard got stuck on her shirt...and she happened to find it before it melted.  She didn't realize what had happened until after she put it in her mouth.  Yech!!!


YUUUUUUCCCKKKK!  :-X
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Vegemite Girl on December 29, 2009, 04:29:32 AM
I've got two; one that I caused as an infant and one I caused by being too enthusiastic with an infant.

The first; I was a baby, and constipated. Mum rang her mother for advice (I was her first child) and gran told her to squeeze me some orange juice and give it to me in a bottle. However, she didn't tell Mum to dilute it first...

Mum gave me the juice and we went out. She thought she smelt something funny but it wasn't until we got home and she lifted me out of the pram that she found out what was wrong. The constipation had been cured, all right, and underneath my jumpsuit I was clothed in a thick layer of excrement from my neck to my feet!  :-X

Later, when I became a mother, I one day forgot one of the golden rules; never play enthusiastically with a child who had 'eaten' not long before. I had lifted Vegemite Child 2 up above my head, and I was smiling up at her, when she vomited... and my mouth happened to be open...   :-X :-X
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: BettyP on December 29, 2009, 10:10:41 AM
In college, in exchange for signing me out of my Calculus requirement, my departmental head / advisor made a deal. I would do two things... One, catalogue the Anthropology library. Two, boil a bear carcass we had received so that we could get to the bones..........

I can STILL smell it and it's been over a decade.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Tsaiko on December 29, 2009, 07:24:42 PM
In college, in exchange for signing me out of my Calculus requirement, my departmental head / advisor made a deal. I would do two things... One, catalogue the Anthropology library. Two, boil a bear carcass we had received so that we could get to the bones..........

I can STILL smell it and it's been over a decade.


I will probably regret this, but I have to know.

How do you boil a bear? Because I am imagining the world's biggest cauldron and I know that cannot be right.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Giggity on December 29, 2009, 08:37:51 PM
Sorta OT but sorta on ... I have an old frontier-type recipe for homemade soap, and the first direction is "Step 1: render a pig."
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: MagicEyes on December 29, 2009, 08:53:15 PM
Warning--this could be very disturbing for animal lovers. It made me very unhappy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was on my way to work one morning, and somehow a bird hit my car antenna and the wing stuck there. I wasn't far from home, so I had to drive the rest of the way to work with this bird wing flapping there like some grisly pennant. I felt so bad...poor little bird. I just don't understand how it could have hit that tiny little antenna. We were both in the wrong place at the wrong time.

I thought that I could get the wing off when I got to work, so I grabbed a handful of paper towels (a really big handful!) and tried to pull it off. No luck--it was like it was welded on to my antenna. And of course it couldn't have happened on a day when I could stay in the office all day--I had lots of errands to run, so I had to drive all over town all morning with this bird wing stuck to my antenna. I had to get my then-husband to help me get it off that evening. That was a very, very bad day, and I think it's probably the most disgusting thing that's ever happened to me.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Danismom on December 29, 2009, 09:18:37 PM
Those who are interested in medicine would find this more in the category of gross but cool:

During my training I was on call as part of the trauma team one night at a Level I trauma center.  We had a patient choppered in from a nearby facility where he'd been dumped after being shot in the chest.  The other hospital had cracked his chest and somewhat stabilized him but didn't have the trauma surgical personnel or equipment needed to get much further than the initial life saving steps.  So, he was flown to us with an open chest covered by a surgical drape.  Of course as soon as he gets to our ER the no-longer-sterile drape is removed and the team is quickly doing their assessment.  I see a gaping hole in his side.  Every time he breathes in something pokes out of the hole and then goes back in when he exhales.  I turn to the nurse and ask
Me: Is that what I think it is?
RN:  Yep, that's his lung
Me:  Wow! 
RN:  You just wanna touch it, don't you, when it keeps peeking out like that?!
Me:  Yeah.  I know I can't but....yeah

The only thing cooler than that I've gotten to see up close and personal was a heart transplant.  Didn't realize until I watched it how similar parts of it are to heart bypass surgery and actually how much easier it is for the surgeon to do the transplant than a bypass as you don't have to harvest the veins and reroute, you just have to cannulate, put on pump, snip the old heart out, put the new heart in, attach the major vessels, and before you know it your off pump and just a quick shock away from a beating heart!!
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: JonGirl on December 30, 2009, 03:12:38 AM
Those who are interested in medicine would find this more in the category of gross but cool:

During my training I was on call as part of the trauma team one night at a Level I trauma center.  We had a patient choppered in from a nearby facility where he'd been dumped after being shot in the chest.  The other hospital had cracked his chest and somewhat stabilized him but didn't have the trauma surgical personnel or equipment needed to get much further than the initial life saving steps.  So, he was flown to us with an open chest covered by a surgical drape.  Of course as soon as he gets to our ER the no-longer-sterile drape is removed and the team is quickly doing their assessment.  I see a gaping hole in his side.  Every time he breathes in something pokes out of the hole and then goes back in when he exhales.  I turn to the nurse and ask
Me: Is that what I think it is?
RN:  Yep, that's his lung
Me:  Wow! 
RN:  You just wanna touch it, don't you, when it keeps peeking out like that?!
Me:  Yeah.  I know I can't but....yeah

The only thing cooler than that I've gotten to see up close and personal was a heart transplant.  Didn't realize until I watched it how similar parts of it are to heart bypass surgery and actually how much easier it is for the surgeon to do the transplant than a bypass as you don't have to harvest the veins and reroute, you just have to cannulate, put on pump, snip the old heart out, put the new heart in, attach the major vessels, and before you know it your off pump and just a quick shock away from a beating heart!!



Wow!  :o  :o  :o How did that turn out?
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Kimblee on December 30, 2009, 11:33:00 AM
Those who are interested in medicine would find this more in the category of gross but cool:

During my training I was on call as part of the trauma team one night at a Level I trauma center.  We had a patient choppered in from a nearby facility where he'd been dumped after being shot in the chest.  The other hospital had cracked his chest and somewhat stabilized him but didn't have the trauma surgical personnel or equipment needed to get much further than the initial life saving steps.  So, he was flown to us with an open chest covered by a surgical drape.  Of course as soon as he gets to our ER the no-longer-sterile drape is removed and the team is quickly doing their assessment.  I see a gaping hole in his side.  Every time he breathes in something pokes out of the hole and then goes back in when he exhales.  I turn to the nurse and ask
Me: Is that what I think it is?
RN:  Yep, that's his lung
Me:  Wow! 
RN:  You just wanna touch it, don't you, when it keeps peeking out like that?!
Me:  Yeah.  I know I can't but....yeah

The only thing cooler than that I've gotten to see up close and personal was a heart transplant.  Didn't realize until I watched it how similar parts of it are to heart bypass surgery and actually how much easier it is for the surgeon to do the transplant than a bypass as you don't have to harvest the veins and reroute, you just have to cannulate, put on pump, snip the old heart out, put the new heart in, attach the major vessels, and before you know it your off pump and just a quick shock away from a beating heart!!



Wow!  :o  :o  :o How did that turn out?

Hopefully.....
They didn't touch it.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Vegemite Girl on December 30, 2009, 02:30:15 PM
Those who are interested in medicine would find this more in the category of gross but cool:

During my training I was on call as part of the trauma team one night at a Level I trauma center.  We had a patient choppered in from a nearby facility where he'd been dumped after being shot in the chest.  The other hospital had cracked his chest and somewhat stabilized him but didn't have the trauma surgical personnel or equipment needed to get much further than the initial life saving steps.  So, he was flown to us with an open chest covered by a surgical drape.  Of course as soon as he gets to our ER the no-longer-sterile drape is removed and the team is quickly doing their assessment.  I see a gaping hole in his side.  Every time he breathes in something pokes out of the hole and then goes back in when he exhales.  I turn to the nurse and ask
Me: Is that what I think it is?
RN:  Yep, that's his lung
Me:  Wow! 
RN:  You just wanna touch it, don't you, when it keeps peeking out like that?!
Me:  Yeah.  I know I can't but....yeah

The only thing cooler than that I've gotten to see up close and personal was a heart transplant.  Didn't realize until I watched it how similar parts of it are to heart bypass surgery and actually how much easier it is for the surgeon to do the transplant than a bypass as you don't have to harvest the veins and reroute, you just have to cannulate, put on pump, snip the old heart out, put the new heart in, attach the major vessels, and before you know it your off pump and just a quick shock away from a beating heart!!

That is *so* cool! I'm guess I'm a little weird, but blood and gore don't bother me in the slightest, and I'm fascinated by how the body works.

Perhaps a mid-life career change for me?  :D
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Giggity on December 30, 2009, 05:18:24 PM
Okay, now I am sure I'm not the only person here who used to watch that old TLC show The Operation religiously.

Except for when they did knee surgery. For some reason, that icked me. I can handle eyeballs, innards, all manner of protruding and extruding and such ... but the kneecap thing, YUCK!!!!!
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Dazi on December 30, 2009, 06:07:49 PM
Okay, now I am sure I'm not the only person here who used to watch that old TLC show The Operation religiously.

Except for when they did knee surgery. For some reason, that icked me. I can handle eyeballs, innards, all manner of protruding and extruding and such ... but the kneecap thing, YUCK!!!!!

Yeah, I watched it as did one of my friends, Jay.  It used to come on around 11pm-2am here though.  He used to call me up sometimes at 2am*.

Jay:  Dazi! turn on TLC, man you're missing it.  Wow...look at that. I missed the beginning, do you know what procedure they are doing? D are you awake yet...have you got it on yet? D?

Me sort of awake, fumbling with the remote and trying to find my glasses: Vasectomy.  Sleep, bye.

Next day...
Jay calls: Man, D, you were right.  That was totaling disturbing.

A few days later...same scenario as above....waking me up yet again

Jay : D, I missed the beginning again.  Do you know what procedure this is?
Me...fumbling etc:  Breast implants.
Jay: Awesome...go back to sleep now.
Me:  Sleep now, bye.

*I often worked 2nd or 3rd shift so I was usually awake at that hour...and I loved him like a brother....otherwise, who knows what I would have done to him   ;).

Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: BettyP on December 30, 2009, 08:04:06 PM
In college, in exchange for signing me out of my Calculus requirement, my departmental head / advisor made a deal. I would do two things... One, catalogue the Anthropology library. Two, boil a bear carcass we had received so that we could get to the bones..........

I can STILL smell it and it's been over a decade.


I will probably regret this, but I have to know.

How do you boil a bear? Because I am imagining the world's biggest cauldron and I know that cannot be right.

In pieces. Big, bear pieces... And it took forever. Pretty much the entire semester. Ugh.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Psykogrl on December 30, 2009, 09:19:42 PM
Now I'm imagining a big bear stew.... Hmmmm. That doesn't sound as bad to me as i'm sure it was ;)
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: skbenny on December 30, 2009, 09:44:46 PM
This happened over 30 years ago, back when cloth diapers were used.  My little sister was about a year old and had a diaper rash, so mom had her in a diaper only with no rubber pants.  We watched her carefully and when she wet we would immediately change her.

We were all eating supper when there was a noise.  Little sister had to diarrhea and we heard this explosion.  There she was with two streams running off either side of her high chair, something like a thick musturd waterfall.  It was so gross, so sickening, and so funny.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: JonGirl on December 30, 2009, 09:50:32 PM



*skbenny*

 :-X  :o  ;D
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: skbenny on December 30, 2009, 09:57:39 PM



*skbenny*

 :-X  :o  ;D

LOL, I have a big family and a lot of stories.

There was the time my mom was babysitting my niece.  Niece was about 4 months old, and was a little "backed up".  Mom was changing her diaper, had the bum in the air, turned to me to say something and we were laughing when niece came unplugged, all over my mom's leg.  I can still see the pile, it was so funny and we were laughing so hard.  Mom couldn't do anything because she has niece by the ankles with one hand and a dirty diaper in the other.  I was laughing too hard to help (for about 10 seconds).  Once I sobered up, I grabbed a baby blanket and wrapped it around the baby and handed my mom the wipes.

Good times.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Julia S on January 06, 2010, 12:23:43 AM
I don't think I've told this story here before, so here it goes:

My friend Joe was a bin man. He was one of the guys hanging on the back of the lorry (rear loader), jumping off here and there to grab the bags and throw them in the back where they were crushed by a hydraulic sweeper kind of thing.
Especially in the summer, the waste would smell *really* bad and the odour coming from the torn bags was so horrible, he couldn't get it out of his clothes, so he showered and changed at work.
One morning, around 6am, he threw a bag in the lorry and the mechanism crunched down. The bag exploded and some foul, unidentifiable substance was launched directly at Joe... who was yawning... The stuff shot to the back of his throat and in a reflex, he swallowed. :-X

He was sick for two days. :-\
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: JonGirl on January 06, 2010, 04:27:44 AM



When I was younger I sat on a banana lounge chair when it collapsed from under me and onto my fingers.
I screamed loud enough for someone across the road to come and see what was going on.
To this day we swear it broke my fingers, they are still a bit flat!
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Midnight Kitty on January 06, 2010, 05:38:03 PM
I don't think I've told this story here before, so here it goes:The bag exploded and some foul, unidentifiable substance was launched directly at Joe... who was yawning... The stuff shot to the back of his throat and in a reflex, he swallowed. :-X

He was sick for two days. :-\
This reminds me of another story from my sewer work.  A crew was working on large pressurized sewer pipe.  They excavated to expose the pipe to work on it, then somehow the equipment nicked the pipe and the sewage fountained from the pipe, quickly filling the trench and drenching the closest worker.  It got in his eyes & went up his nose. :-X His mouth was closed, but he couldn't help ingesting some.  He was sent to the hospital where they decontaminated him inside and out.  Amazingly, he returned to work later that day while we were out investigating the spill.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Azrail on January 07, 2010, 05:30:22 AM
Back when I was in highschool my friends and I were sitting under a huge tree having our lunch. We were talking when one of the friends pointed out a bird. Another one looked up and said 'Where?'

Just then the bird relieved itself over her - and into her open mouth. She had bird poo down her face and on her sandwhich, which she was holding. She spat out the bird poo and got up, trying not to vomit, and made her way to the toilets to wash off - gagging all the way.

Everyone gave her a wide berth. What's funny was that she was still holding the sandwhich in her hand and didn't realise it was still in her hand until she got to the loos. I know it was horrible, but we were laughing so hard were were in tears. At least when we finally calmed down we helped friend wash all the bird poo off.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: JonGirl on January 07, 2010, 10:07:42 PM



Azrail, have you ever been to a crowded MCG and a bird does that on your new black jeans.
 :-X  :-[  Oh boy.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: mmmchocolate on January 08, 2010, 12:01:31 PM
#1  When I was a nursing instructor I had 2 students in with a patient giving their first enema to an elderly woman.  Got it in just fine, woman doing her best to hold it for awhile, finally says "I need to go now!"  Aforementioned students help her off the bed towards the potty chair-she starts to crumple so I get behind her and haul her up.  Just as she says "Oh oh oh, did I make it?"  Umm, nope.

Look down at myself and I have poop all down my leg and all over my shoes.  My students, who are facing the patient. are turning purple trying not to bust out laughing.  I mean, who wouldn't want their instructor to be covered in poop? 

#2  Back a zillion years ago when I was in high school, my old fat beagle ran up to me with a ball in her mouth.  This was totally out of character for her (see above re: old, fat) so I was delighted to play fetch for awhile.  eventually, however, I made the mistake of looking closely at the "ball" I was throwing.  Yep, a rat head.  Old, slimy, nasty, gross rat head.  You could hear my scream for miles.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Azrail on January 08, 2010, 08:00:25 PM



Azrail, have you ever been to a crowded MCG and a bird does that on your new black jeans.
 :-X  :-[  Oh boy.

Oh you poor thing! What did you end up doing?

And which game were you watching?  :P
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: JonGirl on January 11, 2010, 03:52:54 AM



Azrail, have you ever been to a crowded MCG and a bird does that on your new black jeans.
 :-X  :-[  Oh boy.

Oh you poor thing! What did you end up doing?

And which game were you watching?  :P


I had to go and clean it up.
It was a very long time ago but not something you forget in a hurry.  ;D
Essendon v Richmond in 95 I think.






Go Dons!











































Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Punky B. on January 11, 2010, 02:06:11 PM
#2  Back a zillion years ago when I was in high school, my old fat beagle ran up to me with a ball in her mouth.  This was totally out of character for her (see above re: old, fat) so I was delighted to play fetch for awhile.  eventually, however, I made the mistake of looking closely at the "ball" I was throwing.  Yep, a rat head.  Old, slimy, nasty, gross rat head.  You could hear my scream for miles.

Lol!  My pit bull puppy from several years ago did something similar to me.  He came trotting up with something black and soft in his mouth that I thought was a stuffy- I pried it out, turned it over, and it was looking at me.  It was a black cat's head!  I threw it in horror, and he ran after it and brought it back as quick as could be.

We ended up putting it in a bag and tossing it.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: JonGirl on January 12, 2010, 03:08:01 AM
#2  Back a zillion years ago when I was in high school, my old fat beagle ran up to me with a ball in her mouth.  This was totally out of character for her (see above re: old, fat) so I was delighted to play fetch for awhile.  eventually, however, I made the mistake of looking closely at the "ball" I was throwing.  Yep, a rat head.  Old, slimy, nasty, gross rat head.  You could hear my scream for miles.

Lol!  My pit bull puppy from several years ago did something similar to me.  He came trotting up with something black and soft in his mouth that I thought was a stuffy- I pried it out, turned it over, and it was looking at me.  It was a black cat's head!   I threw it in horror, and he ran after it and brought it back as quick as could be.

We ended up putting it in a bag and tossing it.


What the?  :o  :-X
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Punky B. on January 12, 2010, 11:04:36 AM
I know!  I have no idea how the poor kitty lost his head, but we sure found it. :P  My hands felt dirty long after they had been washed.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Esther_bunny on January 16, 2010, 09:23:19 PM
#2  Back a zillion years ago when I was in high school, my old fat beagle ran up to me with a ball in her mouth.  This was totally out of character for her (see above re: old, fat) so I was delighted to play fetch for awhile.  eventually, however, I made the mistake of looking closely at the "ball" I was throwing.  Yep, a rat head.  Old, slimy, nasty, gross rat head.  You could hear my scream for miles.

Lol!  My pit bull puppy from several years ago did something similar to me.  He came trotting up with something black and soft in his mouth that I thought was a stuffy- I pried it out, turned it over, and it was looking at me.  It was a black cat's head!  I threw it in horror, and he ran after it and brought it back as quick as could be.

We ended up putting it in a bag and tossing it.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG! :-X
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: catgal on January 17, 2010, 07:46:19 AM
Azrail and BowledOverMaiden, if it makes you feel any better, I used to have to rescue the seagulls that got hit with cricket balls during the cricket matches at Adelaide oval.  They don't show it on telly, but seriously, at least one bird per game.  I guess the birds took their revenge during the footy season ;D
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: redsfan on January 22, 2010, 01:35:24 AM
One Easter, my cousins and I had all gathered at Aunts house.  Aunt put all 5 of us girls in one room, the computer/dust collecting room.  As the oldest, I got to sleep on the couch while the other kids made a campout on the floor.  We had all eaten a lot of candy, and just as I was falling asleep I hear, "I don't feel so good."  Cousin S, in the middle of the floor, is moaning.  I tell her to go to the bathroom.  She starts crying that she doesn't know where the door is.  I'm against the opposite wall with 4 kids on the floor and no light (why they didn't give 5 kids under 11 a nightlight I'll never know).  I'm almost yelling at Cousin S to move, she's crying and saying she doesn't know where to go, the other cousins start to wake up... You know what's coming now.  Vomit everywhere.  All the kids, blankets, pillows, carpet, you name it, covered in vomit.  There are now 4 crying kids, me cowering on my wonderfully dry couch, and a dark, wet room.  The yelling caught the attention of her mom, luckily.  I'm nearing 30, and aunt still leaves a nightlight on when I visit. 

I also worked in a factory full of yuck.  There was the guy who came up to me as white as a ghost.  When I asked what was wrong, he let go of his hand to show me the fountain of blood from where his fingers had just been cut off.  I was never so thankful to be wearing a waterproof outfit.  He had been cleaning an industrial kettle, and the fingers went into it... and were boiled.  The hospital said there was nothing they could do with them.   I still don't eat frozen entrees.

Not me, but another server I worked with at a family restaurant went to clean a booth.  She leaned into the booth to clean the table, and slipped in something.  The people who had just eaten had an accident in the seat and didn't tell anyone about it.  The server had it all over her.  She called in for 3 days after.

One more.  I worked in a restaurant with a very squeamish manager.  He couldn't deal with a papercut, let alone anything more serious.  Our dishwasher was an older gentleman.  He was cleaning out the trap, and cut his hand on some broken glass.  While it was a bad cut, it wouldn't have been as terrible if he weren't on some very serious blood thinners.  Blood was everywhere, and I knew we could go into meltdown if something didn't happen.  I was young, and all I knew was that applying pressure wasn't working.  I ran past heaving manager in the office yelling 'rubber bands!!'  He's saying, 'what do you need those for?'  I told him don't ask, but he followed me out.  I grabbed the dishwashers fingers and start snapping on the rubber bands.  Manager man behind me can't handle it.  We used a LOT of sanitizer that day.  One of the few I didn't get my employee meal.   :-X

Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: JonGirl on January 22, 2010, 02:02:03 AM
Azrail and BowledOverMaiden, if it makes you feel any better, I used to have to rescue the seagulls that got hit with cricket balls during the cricket matches at Adelaide oval.  They don't show it on telly, but seriously, at least one bird per game.  I guess the birds took their revenge during the footy season ;D



How do you get a job doing that?   >:D
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: catgal on January 22, 2010, 02:30:35 AM
Well BOM, I worked for an animal welfare organisation based in the city.  My job was to rescue sick and injured animals and stunned seagulls at cricket matches.

I used to have to rescue a mother duck who hatched ducklings in the pond in front of police headquarters. She would come back every year and I would catch the babies but she was always too quick for me. The ducky family would be relocated as it wasn't safe for them to stay there.  This pond was scarey; thick, smelly and green.  Being the police station, there wasn't a guarantee that there hadn't been suspect, yucky things thrown in there by disgruntled people.  One year, I finally grabbed the duck but slipped over in the waist high water.  I managed to keep my face out of the sludge, but the smell of the stirred up gunk was overpowering.  Oh yeh, as this was an annual event, the TV crews were there.  I think they felt sorry for me so none of them showed the footage of me hauling myself over the edge of the pond, then hurling my breakfast on the footpath.  :-[  BUT, I didn't loose my hold on the duck  :D
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: JonGirl on January 22, 2010, 05:48:18 AM



EWWW!. I hope the ducks are ok. Don't worry, I've hurled in more public places than that!  :-X  :D





P.S. I'm not in Adelaide.  :)
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Azrail on January 22, 2010, 06:26:30 AM
Well BOM, I worked for an animal welfare organisation based in the city.  My job was to rescue sick and injured animals and stunned seagulls at cricket matches.

I used to have to rescue a mother duck who hatched ducklings in the pond in front of police headquarters. She would come back every year and I would catch the babies but she was always too quick for me. The ducky family would be relocated as it wasn't safe for them to stay there.  This pond was scarey; thick, smelly and green.  Being the police station, there wasn't a guarantee that there hadn't been suspect, yucky things thrown in there by disgruntled people.  One year, I finally grabbed the duck but slipped over in the waist high water.  I managed to keep my face out of the sludge, but the smell of the stirred up gunk was overpowering.  Oh yeh, as this was an annual event, the TV crews were there.  I think they felt sorry for me so none of them showed the footage of me hauling myself over the edge of the pond, then hurling my breakfast on the footpath.  :-[  BUT, I didn't loose my hold on the duck  :D

Oh, you poor thing!

Is it evil of me that the last line of your post gave me a belly laugh?
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: LadyClaire on January 22, 2010, 10:58:35 AM
#2  Back a zillion years ago when I was in high school, my old fat beagle ran up to me with a ball in her mouth.  This was totally out of character for her (see above re: old, fat) so I was delighted to play fetch for awhile.  eventually, however, I made the mistake of looking closely at the "ball" I was throwing.  Yep, a rat head.  Old, slimy, nasty, gross rat head.  You could hear my scream for miles.

Lol!  My pit bull puppy from several years ago did something similar to me.  He came trotting up with something black and soft in his mouth that I thought was a stuffy- I pried it out, turned it over, and it was looking at me.  It was a black cat's head!  I threw it in horror, and he ran after it and brought it back as quick as could be.

We ended up putting it in a bag and tossing it.

My mother's dog once got out and proudly brought home the body of a small dog that he had found somewhere. The body was in a state of advanced decomposition. The smell was..well..unbelievable. I was the one who had to take it away from him and then dispose of it.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: LadyClaire on January 22, 2010, 11:06:55 AM
In college, in exchange for signing me out of my Calculus requirement, my departmental head / advisor made a deal. I would do two things... One, catalogue the Anthropology library. Two, boil a bear carcass we had received so that we could get to the bones..........

I can STILL smell it and it's been over a decade.


I will probably regret this, but I have to know.

How do you boil a bear? Because I am imagining the world's biggest cauldron and I know that cannot be right.

There was an episode of Dirtiest Jobs in which that was one of the jobs..rendering down animal carcases for bones that are used for scientific/display purposes. They do pretty much use giant vats into which they dump the bodies and then boil the fat and other stuff away.

Apparently the smell is horrific.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Punky B. on January 22, 2010, 11:24:59 AM
Oh, another dog one:

We had a golden retriver when I was a kid (12), and she spent the day in the backyard and would come in at evening time.  We let her in and she has something in her mouth, and is prancing proudly, wagging her tail.  My mom goes to grab it to throw outside and discovers it's a roadkill squirrel someone tossed over the fence- it had a tire track and everything.  She yarks on the kitchen floor while yelling "Garden gloves!  Garden gloves!"  I ran and got the gloves, pried the squirrel free in pieces (the dog thought this was a wonderful game of tug) and tossed them in the trash.  My mom was less than impressed with the whole thing.

I, being 12, then made the dog some peppermint tea and poured it in her water bowl in case her tummy got upset from the rotten squirrel.   I also made some for my mom while she cleaned up the floor.  ;D

edit- spelling!
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: pinkunicorn on January 22, 2010, 02:13:46 PM
Growing up on a farm, I've had quite a few gross things happen.

The worst ever, though, was when I was around 8-10. We had broiler chickens--they were raised for meat, not egg laying.

Every once in a while, Dog (yes, that was the dog's name) would get into the chicken coop and help himself to one. No big deal, chicken carcass would get thrown out and Dog would get reprimanded.

One day I came around the corner of the chicken coop and Dog had another one. He had the chicken lying on its back, a big hole where the abdomen was, enjoying his freshly-caught meal. I yelled at Dog. He jumped up, then--goodness I get the shivers thinking about it now, 20+years later--the chicken raised it's head, looked at me, and blinked! I FREAKED OUT!! I ran to the house screaming "DAD!!!! DAD!!!!! DOG GOT A CHICKEN AND ITS STILL ALIVE!!!!!" Of course, even then I knew that the chicken was beyond recovery. Dad put it out of it's misery and had to throw the carcass out, and Dog got reprimanded again.

But that image....*shudder*
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Shea on January 24, 2010, 05:16:32 PM
While we're on the subject of dogs bringing in nasty things...

I once worked for a summer on a ranch in the Rocky Mountains. The ranch dog, who, to be honest, wasn't overburdened with brains, loved to run around the place holding a stick in his mouth and showing everyone. He liked to nap on my bed and he'd often bring in sticks. One day I let him in with what I assumed was a stick in his mouth. He jumped on my bed and dropped the stick on the blanket, at which point I realized the stick had a cloven hoof :-X. He'd found a semi-mummified elk or moose leg in the woods and brought it proudly in.

I picked it up with two fingers and hurled back into the woods. Dog was very sad. Then I washed my blanket and hands. Really, really well.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: LadyClaire on January 25, 2010, 07:20:45 AM
While we're on the subject of dogs bringing in nasty things...

I once worked for a summer on a ranch in the Rocky Mountains. The ranch dog, who, to be honest, wasn't overburdened with brains, loved to run around the place holding a stick in his mouth and showing everyone. He liked to nap on my bed and he'd often bring in sticks. One day I let him in with what I assumed was a stick in his mouth. He jumped on my bed and dropped the stick on the blanket, at which point I realized the stick had a cloven hoof :-X. He'd found a semi-mummified elk or moose leg in the woods and brought it proudly in.

I picked it up with two fingers and hurled back into the woods. Dog was very sad. Then I washed my blanket and hands. Really, really well.

My mother once called me in near hysterics because her dog had found a deer leg in the woods and was chewing on it on her porch. I had to go remove it from the dog's mouth and then dispose of it.

I think my mother's dogs have secret contests to see who can freak my mother out the most. Though the cats are pretty hot contenders, especially that one morning they were playing hockey with a decapitated mouse head.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: pinkunicorn on January 25, 2010, 09:48:21 AM
That reminds me of the time I was watching my friend's cat & dog while he was on vacation. He has a pet door, so the animals go in and out of the house as they please.

His cat is a very good hunter.

She proved this to me one day. I showed up to give the pets their lunch. She got a bird. Brought it in the house, and dismembered it all over the living room. Head here, wing there, entrails all over, blood all over. Oh, and my friend has light grey carpeting! I was not pleased.

I teased him that he owes me big time for cleaning up after his cat!
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: kingsrings on January 25, 2010, 03:57:43 PM
I was just about to tell the story of my aunt and uncle’s dog and his picking up a deer hoof. The dog liked to pick up a stick and carry it around in his mouth every time his owners took him on a walk. They would take it out of his mouth at the end of the walking session. Yup, one time the dog had carried around a deer hoof instead of a stick, which they didn’t find out until after they’d grabbed it out of his mouth.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: VorFemme on January 26, 2010, 01:02:34 PM
I forget where I saw it - but someone with several dogs had been given an elk carcass to clean up for meat for themselves and the remains for the dogs.

The grossest photos I remember seeing were when one of the dogs got inside the rib cage and proceeded to stay there for hours (overnight?) while eating the meat, growling at anyone who came to close or tried to extract the dog from its "cage" of bone & meat, and apparently lording it over the other dogs in the family who weren't able to fit inside, too.

The photos were sent out with a grossness warning in the subject line - but apparently some people had the settings on their email program set up in such a way that the photos weren't neatly hidden in an attachment but were displayed as part of the email, in the preview pane.  Cue a few complaints about "why would you send that to ME" because they were grossed out.  The senders would then suggest that the person change their settings to prevent future "sightings" when someone else found a set of photos that the someone else just had to forward to everyone in their address book..............because the forward photos aren't always cute kittens!

Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: hermanne on January 26, 2010, 03:28:27 PM
Okay, that image of a dog in a ribcage eating his way out... ;D
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Kimblee on January 26, 2010, 03:56:28 PM
Okay, that image of a dog in a ribcage eating his way out... ;D

It can be almost cute, in a groy, disgustign way.

-Kimmie, whose cousin has the world's cutest coon hound, and once let it loose on the remains of a bull.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Giggity on January 26, 2010, 05:13:06 PM
The grossest photos I remember seeing were when one of the dogs got inside the rib cage and proceeded to stay there for hours (overnight?) while eating the meat, growling at anyone who came to close or tried to extract the dog from its "cage" of bone & meat, and apparently lording it over the other dogs in the family who weren't able to fit inside, too.

That has to be what this is about: Dogs in Elk! http://www.badpets.net/DogHumor/DogsInElk.html
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: VorFemme on January 26, 2010, 06:34:59 PM
The grossest photos I remember seeing were when one of the dogs got inside the rib cage and proceeded to stay there for hours (overnight?) while eating the meat, growling at anyone who came to close or tried to extract the dog from its "cage" of bone & meat, and apparently lording it over the other dogs in the family who weren't able to fit inside, too.

That has to be what this is about: Dogs in Elk! http://www.badpets.net/DogHumor/DogsInElk.html

Yes - but with photographs............in color.............
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: snowfire on January 27, 2010, 12:45:08 AM
(http://bestsmileys.com/lol/13.gif)

I just read the Dogs in Elk!!! I'm biting my lips and crying as I'm trying to laugh because I don't want to wake up DH or the cats.  I can just picture this one, unfortunately (or fortunately), I've always had a very visual imagination.

I'm a long time fan of the Bad Pets lists, but this is the first time I've seen this one. Dogs really do have gross down to a science, don't they?
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: kingsrings on January 27, 2010, 11:50:36 AM
This happened at a local production of a musical I saw several weeks ago. Boy, am I glad I decided to see it then instead of last weekend, or I might have been the victim of this unfortunate incident.

In the show, there is a scene where one of the characters gets sea sick. The actor displays this by making retching noises. During one of last weekend’s shows, right at the scene where this occurs, an audience member vomited for real on the person near them. I kid you not! I take it the person was probably already feeling squeamish, and when the actor had the scene, they couldn’t hold it in anymore. So all of a sudden everyone in the area starts to understandably scatter away. I don’t know whether this is very funny in the sickest of ways, or totally disgusting. I guess it’s a combo of both. I do know if I was the person who got vomited on, or nearby, or was the one who had to clean it up, I certainly wouldn’t think it was funny at all…
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: LadyClaire on January 27, 2010, 12:50:57 PM
This happened at a local production of a musical I saw several weeks ago. Boy, am I glad I decided to see it then instead of last weekend, or I might have been the victim of this unfortunate incident.

In the show, there is a scene where one of the characters gets sea sick. The actor displays this by making retching noises. During one of last weekend’s shows, right at the scene where this occurs, an audience member vomited for real on the person near them. I kid you not! I take it the person was probably already feeling squeamish, and when the actor had the scene, they couldn’t hold it in anymore. So all of a sudden everyone in the area starts to understandably scatter away. I don’t know whether this is very funny in the sickest of ways, or totally disgusting. I guess it’s a combo of both. I do know if I was the person who got vomited on, or nearby, or was the one who had to clean it up, I certainly wouldn’t think it was funny at all…


That reminds me of a story that also ties in with the dog gross-outs.

My sister's lab, Maggie, came up to her one day and threw up on her bare foot. Now, my sister has always had a squeamish stomach when it comes to vomit, even of the animal variety.

So my sister threw up on the dog. And then had to bathe the vomit-covered dog.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: RegionMom on January 27, 2010, 09:10:42 PM
As long as we are discussing vomit...
DD had stayed up way too late in first grade for her b-day party the next morning, a late Saturday afternoon.
She ate too many sweets.
She (politely) vomited in her plate at the party table, where half her guests did not even realize!  Her best friend next to her joined her in the bathroom and BOTH girls vomited in the toilet.  Sympathy vomiting exists!!
Another parent squirreled the party to another room for games. 

the birthday girl slept all afternoon after the party.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Hushabye on January 28, 2010, 11:51:10 AM
Oh, I have one!

In third grade, we got a new student.  Our teacher assigned me to help her find her way around the first day or so (small school, so it was pretty hard to get lost!).  We all went to Mass that morning, and I sat next to her; part of the way through, she got feeling sick to her stomach, so I walked her out of the nave toward the bathroom.

I must have been holding her arm or something because the next thing I know, she's vomited all over herself and my arm.  I got her to the bathroom so she could continue throwing up in the toilet and got myself cleaned up.  Sixteen years later, she was one of the bridesmaids at my wedding (where no one threw up) and I'm set to be one at hers (where, hopefully, no one will throw up).  ;D

And another one: This is thanks to a fever and high school cafeteria food.

We joked that the chili the lunch ladies served was radioactive.  Freshman year, my class had PE in the afternoon after lunch.  One chili day, one of the guys apparently had a stomach bug but didn't realize it, until PE, at which point he projectile vomited all down the back of another guy's shirt.  Said guy promptly took off running and basically *ripped* the shirt off his back (button-up oxford cloths, so there was button poppage, but he got it off) while he ran.  It was horribly disgusting -- nobody wanted to see that chili again -- and hilarious all at the same time.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: LadyClaire on February 24, 2010, 08:10:18 PM
This was what I got to clean up today.

My mother has been sick with a chest cold these past few days. Because Mom is immunocompromised, even a regular chest cold is enough to knock her flat and make her rather weak and dizzy.

Today, her rather large dog Max wolfed down a bowl of food so fast that it made him sick..so he had projectile vomit all over her kitchen floor. While he was doing this, Mom, thinking that perhaps some sugar might help her feel better, had been making herself Jello. Mom doesn't buy Jello cups. She gets the powder and makes it herself with boiling water. Mom, turning around to the sound of a violently vomiting dog doing its best Exorcist impression in her kitchen, and still being rather sick and dizzy herself, dropped the pot of hot liquid Jello..where it landed on the floor and sent an arc of Jello across the vomit.

Mom, now feeling sicker than ever, managed to drop some paper towels on it and sort of scrape the whole mess into one pile before she had to go collapse on the couch.

I went over to her house after work to find a lovely vomit/jello/paper towel mixture on the kitchen floor. I learned today that despite what Bill Cosby might lead you to believe, there is not, in fact, always room for Jello. 
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: kingsrings on February 25, 2010, 11:01:44 AM
I know that must have been totally gross, but I’m totally LOL!! Vomit and jello, what a combo….

Not really funny or unusual, but my leading man in my current show, who plays my onstage husband, has quite the gas problem – coming from both ends. I swear, he is always either burping or farting from the moment he comes into the theater until he leaves. And yes, they stink, like “guy farts” always do. It is sooo gross! But fortunately since I have a brother, I’m used to such behavior, although I still get grossed out over it.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Azrail on February 25, 2010, 06:19:58 PM
kingsrings, I can sympathise. Since my husband's surgery he's been doing those quite a lot (and he's encouraged to by his doctors). Those things a foul. Seriously. They should be used in wars. Either that or as a new energy source.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: snowfire on February 26, 2010, 02:20:18 AM
Well, the Mythbusters guys did prove that you can ignite farts.  There may be a future energy source here indeed. ;D  "Honey, the car's getting low...could you go outside and fuel it up for me?"


















Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Gyburc on February 26, 2010, 10:36:48 AM
I used to have to rescue a mother duck who hatched ducklings in the pond in front of police headquarters. She would come back every year and I would catch the babies but she was always too quick for me.

Yes, ducks can move remarkably fast - even the big domestic ducks that can't really fly. Amazing turn of speed, and awesome cornering ability, even in the wet. :) I'm glad you and the duck survived OK!

My duck gross-out stories... well, the first thing DH and I have learned about ducks is that they will eat pretty much anything that they can fit into their throats, dead or alive. We heard a commotion from the garden the other day, and found one duck with a very large live frog in its bill, running round the garden just ahead of all the other ducks (think Benny Hill). The frog was just too large to be swallowed, but the duck was determined... Every couple of seconds, the duck closed its bill round the frog, and the frog let out a piteous squeak.

We separated them, but there wasn't much we could do with the frog. The ducks try the same trick with mice, but hedgehogs have them flummoxed.

Story 2: When our youngest ducks were half-grown last summer, a friend came round with a bucket of snails that he had collected in his garden as a treat for them. We fed the duckles snails until they were really full up, at which point they started to drool frothy green foam. Then, of course, they decided that they wanted to be affectionate and came and pestered me, covering my clothes with icky frothy green snail-juice. Yum.  :-X


Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: kingsrings on February 26, 2010, 11:55:33 AM
kingsrings, I can sympathise. Since my husband's surgery he's been doing those quite a lot (and he's encouraged to by his doctors). Those things a foul. Seriously. They should be used in wars. Either that or as a new energy source.

LOL. You have it worse than I do because you have to live the guy, while my “husband” is just onstage. I think in his case, he’s on a diet plan that requires him to drink two meal replacement drinks a day, which I believe is leading to his toxious emissions. And he doesn’t even try to hide it or go someplace not around us to let loose, he just does right in front of everyone, anywhere, with no consideration. Oh, and he also gives me sloppy wet onstage kisses, which also grosses me out. I hate wet kisses! I don’t hate this guy though, he’s really nice, he just grosses me out with these two things.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Punky B. on February 26, 2010, 04:21:20 PM
Since we're discussing emissions... >:D

When I was a teenager my then BF took me to see Goodwill Hunting- not really my kind of movie, but I was sitting there watching and interested, at least.  There was another couple in front of us, a little older.

Well, during one of the more emotional moments, the boyfriend of the couple rips this HUGE fart.  It sounded like ripping fabric, and it smelled like spoiled ham.  His girlfriend swats him, and the audience around him alternately giggled and gagged.  I was giggling so hard I missed the next few minutes.  Because I am a 12 at heart.  ;D
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: LadyClaire on February 26, 2010, 08:36:08 PM
kingsrings, I can sympathise. Since my husband's surgery he's been doing those quite a lot (and he's encouraged to by his doctors). Those things a foul. Seriously. They should be used in wars. Either that or as a new energy source.

LOL. You have it worse than I do because you have to live the guy, while my “husband” is just onstage. I think in his case, he’s on a diet plan that requires him to drink two meal replacement drinks a day, which I believe is leading to his toxious emissions. And he doesn’t even try to hide it or go someplace not around us to let loose, he just does right in front of everyone, anywhere, with no consideration.

The day before yesterday DF took my car back to the repair shop because the fuse for my headlight was shorting out. The repair place was an upscale one that does a lot of work on luxury cars (which mine is certainly not, but my insurance company likes to use them), so they had a rather fancy waiting area. While they were repairing it, DF got all comfortable on their leather couch..and seeing as it was just him waiting in there, decided that it would be the perfect time to pass gas. Rather loudly. He forgot the receptionist was sitting behind him. He said he slowly turned his head after he did it to find her staring at him.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: JonGirl on February 27, 2010, 07:53:17 PM
Since we're discussing emissions... >:D

When I was a teenager my then BF took me to see Goodwill Hunting- not really my kind of movie, but I was sitting there watching and interested, at least.  There was another couple in front of us, a little older.

Well, during one of the more emotional moments, the boyfriend of the couple rips this HUGE fart.  It sounded like ripping fabric, and it smelled like spoiled ham.  His girlfriend swats him, and the audience around him alternately giggled and gagged.  I was giggling so hard I missed the next few minutes.  Because I am a 12 at heart.  ;D


Teeheehee!    :D  ;D  :D












 >:D
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Miss Vertigo on April 12, 2010, 10:34:25 AM
In college, in exchange for signing me out of my Calculus requirement, my departmental head / advisor made a deal. I would do two things... One, catalogue the Anthropology library. Two, boil a bear carcass we had received so that we could get to the bones..........

I can STILL smell it and it's been over a decade.


I will probably regret this, but I have to know.

How do you boil a bear? Because I am imagining the world's biggest cauldron and I know that cannot be right.

There was an episode of Dirtiest Jobs in which that was one of the jobs..rendering down animal carcases for bones that are used for scientific/display purposes. They do pretty much use giant vats into which they dump the bodies and then boil the fat and other stuff away.

Apparently the smell is horrific.

Oh, it is.

Years ago, I lived in Exeter, in Devon. I'm specifiying the place because I know there are a few Exonians on the board, and maybe someone else remembers this, or the place is still there. There was a rendering plant down by the river and oh my days, the smell was horrific. It was bad enough that it came from the plant and settled across the whole of that end of town on a hot day or when the wind was in the right direction, but they'd also have these giant lorries trundling around town with the remains of deity-knows-what in them on their way to the plant, which, when they didn't have a payload of dead stuff inside, would have the tops of the container on the back of the lorry open to air them out.

At the time I was working for a motor parts company, doing deliveries to garages in a van, so I was out on the road all day. The worst fear of every delivery driver in that town was to get stuck behind a Thomas's lorry,  something that happened to all of us with alarming regularity. To even pass one going in the opposite direction was bad enough. You'd see one approaching from down the road in all its big maroon glory and have a mad panic to get the windows wound up before it went past - something you never quite managed, because you'd forget to close up your airvents or something.

It's been ten years since I lived there, and now, writing about it, I can still smell the horror of the Thomas Lorries.

There was also a place on the industrial estate on which I worked which did something or other with the cows after they'd come out of the abbatoir. I think they were a leather manufacturers or something, but you'd frequently drive past there and see the cows piled up outside. That smelled pretty rank, too. But not half as bad as Thomas's.

*shudders*


Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: vorbau on April 14, 2010, 06:19:26 PM
In college, in exchange for signing me out of my Calculus requirement, my departmental head / advisor made a deal. I would do two things... One, catalogue the Anthropology library. Two, boil a bear carcass we had received so that we could get to the bones..........

I can STILL smell it and it's been over a decade.


I will probably regret this, but I have to know.

How do you boil a bear? Because I am imagining the world's biggest cauldron and I know that cannot be right.

There was an episode of Dirtiest Jobs in which that was one of the jobs..rendering down animal carcases for bones that are used for scientific/display purposes. They do pretty much use giant vats into which they dump the bodies and then boil the fat and other stuff away.

Apparently the smell is horrific.

Oh, it is.


The smell of mammal decomposition is ... indescribable. My standard for grossness is, If it's not as bad as retrieving three-week-old body parts from three-month-old garbage at the county landfill, it's not bad. My former partner J (she of squirrel puddle fame) and I are famous for having come back from that operation, stripping starkers on the loading dock and throwing everything including our bare-@@@ selves into the decontam suite. I think it took sixteen showers to get rid of the smell completely. I know I rinsed my hair with chlorine bleach at one point.

My professor of forensic anthropology told our class about trying to clean some bones by boiling them - at home, in one of his wife's cooking pots. Which he forgot was on the stove, and let boil over. Which allowed horrible stinky smelly goo to get into the innards of the stove, down between the stove and the cupboard, and under the tile on the kitchen floor. Which he had to replace completely (stove, cupboards, tile, subfloor, baseboards, drywall, plaster and paint, plus cook pot) or be divorced. Which he preferred not to be.

A few months later, she caught him trying to put some (fortunately bare) animal bones in the dishwasher and informed him that, technically, he wasn't really doing forensic anthropology, he was expressing a suicide wish. He decided to wash the bones at work.

Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Dazi on April 14, 2010, 06:40:46 PM
The smell of mammal decomposition is ... indescribable. My standard for grossness is, If it's not as bad as retrieving three-week-old body parts from three-month-old garbage at the county landfill, it's not bad. My former partner J (she of squirrel puddle fame) and I are famous for having come back from that operation, stripping starkers on the loading dock and throwing everything including our bare-@@@ selves into the decontam suite. I think it took sixteen showers to get rid of the smell completely. I know I rinsed my hair with chlorine bleach at one point.

My professor of forensic anthropology told our class about trying to clean some bones by boiling them - at home, in one of his wife's cooking pots. Which he forgot was on the stove, and let boil over. Which allowed horrible stinky smelly goo to get into the innards of the stove, down between the stove and the cupboard, and under the tile on the kitchen floor. Which he had to replace completely (stove, cupboards, tile, subfloor, baseboards, drywall, plaster and paint, plus cook pot) or be divorced. Which he preferred not to be.

A few months later, she caught him trying to put some (fortunately bare) animal bones in the dishwasher and informed him that, technically, he wasn't really doing forensic anthropology, he was expressing a suicide wish. He decided to wash the bones at work.



While gross...this is the funniest story I have read in a while  ;D.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: hot_shaker on April 14, 2010, 07:11:16 PM
My professor of forensic anthropology told our class about trying to clean some bones by boiling them - at home, in one of his wife's cooking pots. Which he forgot was on the stove, and let boil over. Which allowed horrible stinky smelly goo to get into the innards of the stove, down between the stove and the cupboard, and under the tile on the kitchen floor. Which he had to replace completely (stove, cupboards, tile, subfloor, baseboards, drywall, plaster and paint, plus cook pot) or be divorced. Which he preferred not to be.

A few months later, she caught him trying to put some (fortunately bare) animal bones in the dishwasher and informed him that, technically, he wasn't really doing forensic anthropology, he was expressing a suicide wish. He decided to wash the bones at work.

Isn't that a story from Bill Bass, the man who wrote The Body Farm?  Did you study with him?  Or is this a common occurrence in the kitchens of forensic anthropologists across the country?
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: DangerMouth on April 14, 2010, 08:28:40 PM
Ha, that rememded me of the deer jawbone I found in the woods. It wasn't picked quite clean and it smelled horrific. I put it in the freezer because I wasn't ready to deal with it. It took me a year, and when I finally got around to defrosting, I decided I was never going to be ready, and threw it out.

My business imports human bone items for use in certain Buddhist practices, and some of them, while not gag inducing, still smell a little too 'fresh' for me.

I lived with a wildlife biology student in college. Our freezer was always full of Dipodomys merriami (Merriam's jumping mouse), wating their turn for disection or taxidermy. They looked like mice-on-a-stick :D

Recently, my partner finally disposed of 3 or 4 tarantuala carcasses kept in our warehouse freezer (and about a hundred molts) before his move across country, thus ending his years-long quest for a vet or bugologist who would perform an autopsy to discover what killed them. I really want to put a rolleyes here, but fear it would be rude. I mean, I'm sorry too, but, dude, an autopsy for a sipder?)
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Shea on April 14, 2010, 08:41:22 PM

Recently, my partner finally disposed of 3 or 4 tarantuala carcasses kept in our warehouse freezer (and about a hundred molts) before his move across country, thus ending his years-long quest for a vet or bugologist who would perform an autopsy to discover what killed them. I really want to put a rolleyes here, but fear it would be rude. I mean, I'm sorry too, but, dude, an autopsy for a sipder?)

Having worked briefly in college for a scientist who studied venomous spiders, I can kind of see it. Said scientist didn't get attached to her spiders as individuals, but as a group she sure loved them. She'd get kind of misty-eyed when discussing the brown recluse. I can definitely see her trying to perform an autopsy on a spider.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: DangerMouth on April 14, 2010, 08:58:27 PM

Recently, my partner finally disposed of 3 or 4 tarantuala carcasses kept in our warehouse freezer (and about a hundred molts) before his move across country, thus ending his years-long quest for a vet or bugologist who would perform an autopsy to discover what killed them. I really want to put a rolleyes here, but fear it would be rude. I mean, I'm sorry too, but, dude, an autopsy for a sipder?)

Having worked briefly in college for a scientist who studied venomous spiders, I can kind of see it. Said scientist didn't get attached to her spiders as individuals, but as a group she sure loved them. She'd get kind of misty-eyed when discussing the brown recluse. I can definitely see her trying to perform an autopsy on a spider.

Oh yeah, I know what you mean. You get attached, these little fuzzy creatures in your care. I fed, watered, watched over their molting (and it's heartbreaking when they lose a leg in that proccess), tried to mate them (never successfully), and cleaned 20-30 cages every month. We'd had one since 1992 and lost it in 2006. She was 9 when we got her (a sweetie of a B smithi that never kicked), but 23 years wasn't good enough for partner. I think he was offended more than anything else :)
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: vorbau on April 14, 2010, 09:53:08 PM
My professor of forensic anthropology told our class about trying to clean some bones by boiling them - at home, in one of his wife's cooking pots. Which he forgot was on the stove, and let boil over. Which allowed horrible stinky smelly goo to get into the innards of the stove, down between the stove and the cupboard, and under the tile on the kitchen floor. Which he had to replace completely (stove, cupboards, tile, subfloor, baseboards, drywall, plaster and paint, plus cook pot) or be divorced. Which he preferred not to be.

A few months later, she caught him trying to put some (fortunately bare) animal bones in the dishwasher and informed him that, technically, he wasn't really doing forensic anthropology, he was expressing a suicide wish. He decided to wash the bones at work.

Isn't that a story from Bill Bass, the man who wrote The Body Farm?  Did you study with him?  Or is this a common occurrence in the kitchens of forensic anthropologists across the country?

That is indeed Bill Bass, originator of the Body Farm, and I did indeed have the extraordinary privilege of studying with him - on two separate occasions. Except that I'd look funny in a crew cut (and, well, I'm female), I want to be him when I grow up. I am hoping to become one of his doctoral students once my son is out of college (can't afford two tuition bills at once).

I don't know how common it is among forensic anthropologists everywhere, but I know of several Bass graduates, including myself, who seem to have assimilated his suicidal tendencies. I have cooked bones at home in a crock pot (though it was outside, in a well-ventilated, locked, critter-proof shed, 100 yards from the house), and I have put dry, defleshed bones through the dishwasher. DH has been known to prank visiting friends by "seeding" the dishwasher with, say, a deer jawbone or bear paw (which looks a lot like a human hand).

DH is pretty used to me, after 12-some-odd years, but he did blanch slightly the other day I performed the "tongue test" on alleged bones brought to me by a neighbor (basically, you touch it to your tongue, and if it sticks slightly, it's probably bone and worth further identification/investigation - if it doesn't stick, it's probably a rock or concrete). They were bones. And yes, I brushed afterward.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Daffydilly on April 14, 2010, 09:58:35 PM
Skunk alley was just a short drive up the road from where I worked. Normally, you didn't smell much more than a few day old spray. That was until the night the stench drove itself to my gas station. It was literally a dark and clammy night. And an innocent woman drove down the road, feeling secure and safe in her car. And then she hit it... two skunks in skunk alley. And the spray went straight into the ventilation system.
She freaked and stopped at the gas station to buy all our tomato juice. And was kind enough to stand five feet away from the counter while we bagged her groceries. The poor skunks had gone all out in a moment of blazing stinkery. And all the spray had settled on our poor customer and the interior of her car.
I never did find out what happened to her after that. But I hope that she could claim unavoidable animal contact to get her car cleaned or replaced.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: JonGirl on April 15, 2010, 07:20:08 AM


I live in a suburb that is famous for its treatment farm, sometimes when it is hot we get the really bad smell.
Which causes me to say: Oh somebodys been busy!  :D  >:D
Seriously, its disgusting.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: HeebyJeebyLeebee on April 15, 2010, 08:06:59 AM
My professor of forensic anthropology told our class about trying to clean some bones by boiling them - at home, in one of his wife's cooking pots. Which he forgot was on the stove, and let boil over. Which allowed horrible stinky smelly goo to get into the innards of the stove, down between the stove and the cupboard, and under the tile on the kitchen floor. Which he had to replace completely (stove, cupboards, tile, subfloor, baseboards, drywall, plaster and paint, plus cook pot) or be divorced. Which he preferred not to be.

A few months later, she caught him trying to put some (fortunately bare) animal bones in the dishwasher and informed him that, technically, he wasn't really doing forensic anthropology, he was expressing a suicide wish. He decided to wash the bones at work.

Isn't that a story from Bill Bass, the man who wrote The Body Farm?  Did you study with him?  Or is this a common occurrence in the kitchens of forensic anthropologists across the country?

That is indeed Bill Bass, originator of the Body Farm, and I did indeed have the extraordinary privilege of studying with him - on two separate occasions. Except that I'd look funny in a crew cut (and, well, I'm female), I want to be him when I grow up. I am hoping to become one of his doctoral students once my son is out of college (can't afford two tuition bills at once).

I don't know how common it is among forensic anthropologists everywhere, but I know of several Bass graduates, including myself, who seem to have assimilated his suicidal tendencies. I have cooked bones at home in a crock pot (though it was outside, in a well-ventilated, locked, critter-proof shed, 100 yards from the house), and I have put dry, defleshed bones through the dishwasher. DH has been known to prank visiting friends by "seeding" the dishwasher with, say, a deer jawbone or bear paw (which looks a lot like a human hand).

DH is pretty used to me, after 12-some-odd years, but he did blanch slightly the other day I performed the "tongue test" on alleged bones brought to me by a neighbor (basically, you touch it to your tongue, and if it sticks slightly, it's probably bone and worth further identification/investigation - if it doesn't stick, it's probably a rock or concrete). They were bones. And yes, I brushed afterward.

Vorbau, you are officially one of the COOLEST people I have ever had the privelige to be acquainted with (even if only online)!
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: LadyClaire on April 15, 2010, 01:42:37 PM
My professor of forensic anthropology told our class about trying to clean some bones by boiling them - at home, in one of his wife's cooking pots. Which he forgot was on the stove, and let boil over. Which allowed horrible stinky smelly goo to get into the innards of the stove, down between the stove and the cupboard, and under the tile on the kitchen floor. Which he had to replace completely (stove, cupboards, tile, subfloor, baseboards, drywall, plaster and paint, plus cook pot) or be divorced. Which he preferred not to be.

A few months later, she caught him trying to put some (fortunately bare) animal bones in the dishwasher and informed him that, technically, he wasn't really doing forensic anthropology, he was expressing a suicide wish. He decided to wash the bones at work.

Isn't that a story from Bill Bass, the man who wrote The Body Farm?  Did you study with him?  Or is this a common occurrence in the kitchens of forensic anthropologists across the country?

That is indeed Bill Bass, originator of the Body Farm, and I did indeed have the extraordinary privilege of studying with him - on two separate occasions. Except that I'd look funny in a crew cut (and, well, I'm female), I want to be him when I grow up. I am hoping to become one of his doctoral students once my son is out of college (can't afford two tuition bills at once).

I don't know how common it is among forensic anthropologists everywhere, but I know of several Bass graduates, including myself, who seem to have assimilated his suicidal tendencies. I have cooked bones at home in a crock pot (though it was outside, in a well-ventilated, locked, critter-proof shed, 100 yards from the house), and I have put dry, defleshed bones through the dishwasher. DH has been known to prank visiting friends by "seeding" the dishwasher with, say, a deer jawbone or bear paw (which looks a lot like a human hand).

DH is pretty used to me, after 12-some-odd years, but he did blanch slightly the other day I performed the "tongue test" on alleged bones brought to me by a neighbor (basically, you touch it to your tongue, and if it sticks slightly, it's probably bone and worth further identification/investigation - if it doesn't stick, it's probably a rock or concrete). They were bones. And yes, I brushed afterward.

Vorbau, you are officially one of the COOLEST people I have ever had the privelige to be acquainted with (even if only online)!

Me too. I want to be Vorbau when I grow up!

Seriously, if I had the stomach for it then I would love to study forensic anthropology. Unfortunately fate was cruel. I have an intense interest in such subjects, a deep fascination with death and the human body..and a stomach so weak that even a little bit of blood makes me want to pass out.

So I just read lots of books written by real life CSIs and forensics people, and I watch all of the TV shows like Forensic Files and Cold Case Files and The First 48...and stay a safe distance away from dead things.

Though I did collect animal bones as a child. It worried my mother quite a bit. I had a huge bird skull collection. Mom would dispose of the skulls one by one when she thought I wouldn't notice them go missing. I only collected them after they were totally clean and non-icky, though. Growing up in a house that had lots of woods, bird feeders, and cats provided me with plenty of skulls to replace those Mom tossed.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: LadyClaire on April 15, 2010, 01:54:38 PM
I'm not sure if I posted this before, but since we're on the subject of dead stinky things...

Last summer, my mother's dogs discovered a Very Dead Snake that had been slowly baking in the summer sun in her back yard. The snake by that point wasn't so much a snake as it was a collection of liquified snake guts inside a rotting skin. Mom has a rather large yard, being as she lives out in a rural area, and so the Liquid Rotting Snake had gone unnoticed for a few days. So it continued to ferment in the sun, growing stinkier and stinkier. Mom's dogs discovered the snake, and decided that it was the Best Thing Ever..and they all rolled on it. Of course, you can imagine what happens to a Liquid Rotting Snake when a dog throws itself upon it and proceeds to roll and rub all over it. Picture, if you will, stepping rather hard on an uncapped tube of toothpaste and then grinding your heel back and forth. You might get a good idea of what happened to the snake at that point.

When the dogs trotted merrily back down to the porch, each having lavishly adorned themselves with Liquid Rotting Snake in the hot, hot summer sun, Mom and I looked at each other and said "What....is that SMELL?"

Except insert a few unlady-like words in between "what the" and "is", and you'll get a better idea of what was really said.

This was where my lifetime obsession with Gross Books About Dead Bodies came in use. I remembered one CSI talking about how all that nasty dead body juice is basically oily, and so it clings, so using something citrus or grease cutting comes in handy to be rid of the horrible smell.

So we put on heavy rubber gloves and bathed the dogs in a mixture of lemon scented dishwashing liquid and baking soda. Thankfully, it worked. It took several scrubs, but it worked.

Then I went up into the yard with a bucket of hot bleach water and washed away the sad remains of the Liquid Rotting Snake. The dogs were most upset, for we had deprived them of their new favorite perfume and stripped their furry little bodies of the lingering stench.

It's a smell I hope to never, ever smell again.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: kingsrings on April 15, 2010, 02:50:13 PM
LadyClaire - I am LOL reading that story!! So typical of pets to do something like that...
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: PeasNCues on April 15, 2010, 02:52:41 PM
Our dog Whiskey found a dead opposum under our porch last night. For a while, he'd come in every day smelling awful and we'd just clean him up, not knowing where it came from. Whiskey was so upset when we found his possum (named Stinky) and got rid of it.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: DangerMouth on April 15, 2010, 04:31:45 PM
A friends son (maybe 4yo) was playing with the dog when she noticed a bit of blood in son's lip.

Turned out to be a huge, blood engorged tick he had pulled off the dog and was eating  :-X

Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: vorbau on April 15, 2010, 08:10:25 PM
HeebyJeebyLeeby and LadyClaire - wow! I need the "aw shucks" and "blushing" smileys! That really made my day!

And DangerMouth, that story officially grossed out even me. Can I borrow that story sometime? Because...

BG: Today I was a featured speaker at Career Day at DS's high school. One of the inevitable questions is "What is the grossest thing you've ever done/seen/handled?" In three sessions today I gave three different answers, one of which was the squirrel puddle - but this tops even that. I would love to tell the kids next year that crime scenes aren't really all that bad!

And then back at work this afternoon, a new one for the records. Beth, one of our analysts, was eating lunch and had some raw veggies, including a color of broccoli I hadn't seen before (orange). I asked her what it was, she told me it was an heirloom variety she got at a farmer's market. "I guess these little black things are the seeds," she said, pointing to black specks the size of pinheads liberally sprinkled all over the florets.

"Oh," I said, "I thought they were pepper..." and just then I saw one of them move!. So did Beth.

I have never seen a look like that on the face of a human being. I think Beth broke the human land speed record for racing out of the room; fifteen minutes later she was still in the ladies'.

I don't think she was helped by Mickey yelling out, "Oh, Beth, just floss!"

PS LadyClaire, Dawn dishwashing detergent is excellent for getting rid of, um, effluvia. I now use it on my hair instead of bleach - followed by a rinse with lemon juice or vinegar - when necessary. Like after a dip in the runoff pond ...
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: wonderfullyanonymous on April 15, 2010, 09:13:52 PM
This happened to a co-worker, and thankfully not me, because I am totally sure, I would have lost my stomach contents...


She had a customer with a runny nose. She thought to herself, I can handle this.

Customers nose dripped. Again, she thought to herself, I can handle this.

She was about to hand him a paper towel for his nose, when he did this...licked his nose.

I saw her gagging, and didn't know why, until she relayed the story to me. I started gagging.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: hot_shaker on April 15, 2010, 09:15:37 PM
Vorbau, you are officially one of the COOLEST people I have ever had the privelige to be acquainted with (even if only online)!

Me too. I want to be Vorbau when I grow up!

I have been on the Vorbau bandwagon ever since the squirrel puddle story.   ;D

I don't know what it says about me that I find the phrase "squirrel puddle" so amusing.  ::)
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: LadyClaire on April 16, 2010, 07:18:49 AM
Vorbau, you are officially one of the COOLEST people I have ever had the privelige to be acquainted with (even if only online)!

Me too. I want to be Vorbau when I grow up!

I have been on the Vorbau bandwagon ever since the squirrel puddle story.   ;D

I don't know what it says about me that I find the phrase "squirrel puddle" so amusing.  ::)

Squirrel Puddle would make an excellent band name.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: vorbau on April 16, 2010, 01:00:53 PM
Vorbau, you are officially one of the COOLEST people I have ever had the privelige to be acquainted with (even if only online)!

Me too. I want to be Vorbau when I grow up!

I have been on the Vorbau bandwagon ever since the squirrel puddle story.   ;D

I don't know what it says about me that I find the phrase "squirrel puddle" so amusing.  ::)

Squirrel Puddle would make an excellent band name.

Or Puddles of Squirrels ... maybe for an indie or alternative band.

Thank you all for the good words! I will try to keep up the grossness!
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Midnight Kitty on April 20, 2010, 05:07:09 PM
Back when I lived in Northern California, I had a large dog who loved the beach.  Especially rolling in the dead seagulls.  Eau de Gull was her favorite scent.  For me, it was more "Oh NO! De dead gull." (http://bestsmileys.com/sick/9.gif)That was a long drive home from the beach. :-X
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: LadyClaire on April 26, 2010, 07:39:18 AM
A mild gross-out compared to the other stuff posted here..

This morning, I got into work and my keyboard wasn't working. My computer tower sits on the floor under my desk, and I noticed someone had shoved it out of the usual position. Not only that, but all of the boxes I keep under there were gone, too..and those boxes contained fairly important paperwork (unfortunately I do not have my own filing cabinet to keep that stuff in).

I looked around the office and saw my boxes in the trash can, all of them soaked. I salved the paperwork, since it was dry, and just figured someone had spilled something or the carpet cleaner had malfunctioned and dumped water under my desk. I was peeved no one had taken the papers out before tossing the boxes, and tried to find out who had done it.

Finally I discovered the reason why...the men's bathroom is right around the corner from my office. A toilet had overflowed, spilling dirty toilet water all over the floor, and no one noticed until the water had come under the bathroom door and seeped into our office and the one across from it.

So those boxes I'd been rummaging around in? Yeah..soaked with dirty toilet water.

I had to wash my hands and use hand sanitizer a few times, and I still feel icky..
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: kingsrings on April 26, 2010, 10:36:29 AM
 :-X  Okay, that is NOT a minor gross-out IMHO! I hope you didn't get the dirty toilet water on your clothes, too.

I've had moments like that that are pet-related. I've stepped or put my hand into something wet that I thought was spilled water, only to find out that it was kitty hairball vomit.  :P
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: LadyClaire on April 26, 2010, 11:02:26 AM
:-X  Okay, that is NOT a minor gross-out IMHO! I hope you didn't get the dirty toilet water on your clothes, too.

I've had moments like that that are pet-related. I've stepped or put my hand into something wet that I thought was spilled water, only to find out that it was kitty hairball vomit.  :P

Luckily I didn't get any on myself. I would've gone home and changed if I had!

Related to unexpected things being touched..a stray cat adopted my mother, but is still too skittish to come inside. So he lives in her garage, and she installed a cat door for him.

This cat is quite the hunter. The local mole population has been decimated by him. He also hauled home a rabbit as big as himself, though it was still alive due to him being able to get a good grip on its neck. The rabbit escaped unharmed, luckily.

But the other day I stepped back in Mom's garage, and stepped on some squishy and soft..I thought it was just a sponge or something. Nope..it was a freshly killed mole. Ugh.  :-X
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: DangerMouth on April 26, 2010, 06:43:13 PM
(forgot about this thread)

...
And DangerMouth, that story officially grossed out even me. Can I borrow that story sometime? Because...
...

Please, take this story, it's yours  ;D
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: vorbau on April 26, 2010, 10:04:40 PM
(forgot about this thread)

...
And DangerMouth, that story officially grossed out even me. Can I borrow that story sometime? Because...
...

Please, take this story, it's yours  ;D

Thank you so much!

In exchange, I offer this one that I just remembered, from ... hmm, must've been 2004, when the last 17-year cicada brood hatched here in VA. I was seconded to a counter terrorism task force located in an office park that was surrounded by these horrible buzzing flying gross things. I have to say, I have a high grossness tolerance and I'm not scared of many things, but buzzing flying insects are *it* - the mere sight of a praying mantis will make me retch. That day, I took some new summer interns out to lunch and unfortunately we had to walk from the office building to a huge hotel/convention complex with a food court, about five blocks each way. The entire way I was on red alert for one of these things getting anywhere near me, and was literally trembling with tension by the time we got back to the office.

Once back at my desk, I kept hearing that daggone cicada buzzing noise, and thought, Wow, they're really loud, I can hear them six floors up and through the window.

Just then, one of the admin assistants came in and said "Vorbau, there's something caught in your hair..."

Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: hot_shaker on April 27, 2010, 05:39:24 AM
Thank you so much!

In exchange, I offer this one that I just remembered, from ... hmm, must've been 2004, when the last 17-year cicada brood hatched here in VA. I was seconded to a counter terrorism task force located in an office park that was surrounded by these horrible buzzing flying gross things. I have to say, I have a high grossness tolerance and I'm not scared of many things, but buzzing flying insects are *it* - the mere sight of a praying mantis will make me retch. That day, I took some new summer interns out to lunch and unfortunately we had to walk from the office building to a huge hotel/convention complex with a food court, about five blocks each way. The entire way I was on red alert for one of these things getting anywhere near me, and was literally trembling with tension by the time we got back to the office.

Once back at my desk, I kept hearing that daggone cicada buzzing noise, and thought, Wow, they're really loud, I can hear them six floors up and through the window.

Just then, one of the admin assistants came in and said "Vorbau, there's something caught in your hair..."

Ugh, that's positively horrific!

I remember the infestation from 1987.  When I was 9.  And had to walk ~1 mile to school.  Veeery carefully.  :-X :-X :-X

They were everywhere!  Trees, bushes, light, post, sidewalks.  The actual critters and their creepy little shells.  I think the whole area should shut down on grounds of cicada infestation and everyone should just hole up.  I tend to tolerate gross things as well (although probably not quite as well as you) but cicada, crickets, and sprickets/cave crickets (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cave_cricket) will make run away.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: PeasNCues on April 27, 2010, 07:30:22 AM
In exchange, I offer this one that I just remembered, from ... hmm, must've been 2004, when the last 17-year cicada brood hatched here in VA. I was seconded to a counter terrorism task force located in an office park that was surrounded by these horrible buzzing flying gross things. I have to say, I have a high grossness tolerance and I'm not scared of many things, but buzzing flying insects are *it* - the mere sight of a praying mantis will make me retch. That day, I took some new summer interns out to lunch and unfortunately we had to walk from the office building to a huge hotel/convention complex with a food court, about five blocks each way. The entire way I was on red alert for one of these things getting anywhere near me, and was literally trembling with tension by the time we got back to the office.

Once back at my desk, I kept hearing that daggone cicada buzzing noise, and thought, Wow, they're really loud, I can hear them six floors up and through the window.

Just then, one of the admin assistants came in and said "Vorbau, there's something caught in your hair..."

I'm with you!! I can't stand the things. At uni, one landed on my back and I literally froze and stood there for a few minutes until a kind gentleman came and brushed it off of me. He got a very teary "thank you."
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Outdoor Girl on April 27, 2010, 07:34:03 AM
I remember the summer of the tent caterpillars back in the 80's.  The infestation was so bad that they were all over the road.  You could almost feel them squishing as you drove over them.  There was more than one accident that summer because a car would put on their brakes and slide like they were on ice.

*shudder*
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: LadyClaire on April 27, 2010, 07:49:35 AM
I remember the summer of the tent caterpillars back in the 80's.  The infestation was so bad that they were all over the road.  You could almost feel them squishing as you drove over them.  There was more than one accident that summer because a car would put on their brakes and slide like they were on ice.

*shudder*

That is utterly horrifying.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: hot_shaker on April 27, 2010, 09:42:35 AM
I remember the summer of the tent caterpillars back in the 80's.  The infestation was so bad that they were all over the road.  You could almost feel them squishing as you drove over them.  There was more than one accident that summer because a car would put on their brakes and slide like they were on ice.

*shudder*

Oh, I remember the tent caterpillars too and, again, carefully walking to school.  :-X

Now that I think about it, bugs played a large role on my childhood. 
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Punky B. on April 27, 2010, 10:44:58 AM
We had cicadas in TX, and man were they HEAVY when they landed on you!  I used to put the little brown shells in my cousins bed. 

Gross car related- we had tortoises in MD, and a friend of mine got into an accident when she hit one and tried to stop.  The top and bottom shell mashed together and the guts made the plates slide like crazy!  It was like hitting ice as well.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Shea on April 27, 2010, 11:45:23 AM
I want to know where all of you tent caterpillar/cicada people live, so I can never ever go there. ::shudders::
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Reika on April 27, 2010, 12:26:17 PM
I don't remember if I posted this or not, but there were too many posts for me to go through.

The summer before I went to college, I worked for a dog groomer. The absolute worst one was a yellow lab that got brought in after he went "swamping". It's been 15 years, I can still remember how awful that smell was, or the horror when I got him clean and realized that he wasn't a chocolate or black lab, he was yellow. Should've seen the water too.  :-X

It took an hour of scrubbing to get the stench out of the dog, then I had to call my grandmother to bring me clothes to change into because what I was wearing positively reeked. Good thing I wore old t-shirts and shorts for that job, I just threw those clothes out, they were beyond saving.

Speaking of bugs, most places I worked I generally ended up being the goto person in my unit to shoo off any unwanted visitors. One of my coworkers came in freaking about a giant green monster on the plate we swiped our badges to get into the office. My supervisor had me get off the phones to deal with it (cool by me, I'd rather deal with a creepy crawly than the callers I had that day).

"Giant green monster" was a baby praying mantis who was maybe a couple inches tall. We stared at each for a few moments until I gently tapped near it and it hopped away. The few coworkers nearby were collectively horrified that I got so near it. But after waking up to gruesome "gifts" my extremely talented mouser of a cat left me, a living baby mantis wasn't an issue.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: hot_shaker on April 27, 2010, 01:40:30 PM
I want to know where all of you tent caterpillar/cicada people live, so I can never ever go there. ::shudders::

I was in Northern Virginia. 

I think the caterpillars were a temporary thing.  I think they may have been an invasive species; I remember lots of spraying and trying to block the caterpillars from climbing up into the branches where the leaves were.

The cicadas are cyclical so it's not something to worry about every year.  However, I will be avoiding the DC area come 2021.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: vorbau on April 27, 2010, 03:35:17 PM
I want to know where all of you tent caterpillar/cicada people live, so I can never ever go there. ::shudders::

I was in Northern Virginia. 

I think the caterpillars were a temporary thing.  I think they may have been an invasive species; I remember lots of spraying and trying to block the caterpillars from climbing up into the branches where the leaves were.

The cicadas are cyclical so it's not something to worry about every year.  However, I will be avoiding the DC area come 2021.

Yes, this was Northern VA/DC. They were all over the area, as far as WV. I see from this web site http://www.pubs.ext.vt.edu/444/444-276/444-276.html (http://www.pubs.ext.vt.edu/444/444-276/444-276.html) that there will be some minor infestations in VA in 2011 and 2012, and then a huge one in this area in 2013. I think I will arrange to be on an extended trip to ... anywhere else at that time.

This site http://www.cicadamania.com/wedding.html (http://www.cicadamania.com/wedding.html) has outbreak maps for other areas. Warning: the site is gross even to me, and I wouldn't recommend looking at any of the pictures if you don't like cicadas. Excuse me, I need to go shiver/wash my hands/maybe be sick now.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: HeebyJeebyLeebee on April 28, 2010, 04:21:31 PM
In some areas, like here in Houston, there's some cicadas every year - but not nearly as many as the cycle events that most people think of.  I was in the Chicago area for the 2007 cycle.  As long as they didn't land on me, I thought it was pretty cool.  The news stations were making a big deal about people finding the very rare blue eyed cicadas. 
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Suze on April 28, 2010, 05:58:13 PM
It was 2004 for the 17 year cycle here in Ohio

our sca group had great fun with the "Holy Cicada Slayer of Antioch"

But we still get cicadas every year - just not like that one
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: hot_shaker on April 28, 2010, 06:53:29 PM
It was 2004 for the 17 year cycle here in Ohio

Really?  I don't think I saw a cicadas plague then.  Is it regional?  (I'm in Cleveland.)
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Suze on April 28, 2010, 08:28:06 PM
It was 2004 for the 17 year cycle here in Ohio

Really?  I don't think I saw a cicadas plague then.  Is it regional?  (I'm in Cleveland.)

I am around Dayton and it was VERY BAD down that way....

the only reason that I know the date is that I saved a e-mail story about the goofyness of the "holy Cicada Slayer" thing 

Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: vorbau on April 29, 2010, 04:10:28 PM
It was 2004 for the 17 year cycle here in Ohio

Really?  I don't think I saw a cicadas plague then.  Is it regional?  (I'm in Cleveland.)

I am around Dayton and it was VERY BAD down that way....

the only reason that I know the date is that I saved a e-mail story about the goofyness of the "holy Cicada Slayer" thing 



I am going to make DH the "Holy Cicada Slayer" for 2013!
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Layla Miller on April 29, 2010, 04:56:10 PM
It's pretty tame compared to the other stories posted here, but I was certainly grossed out.

A few weeks ago, I was visiting my parents.  At some point before I visited, my father decided to store some vegetable oil/fat they were planning to reuse in the deep fryer in an old apple juice container.  Amber-brown liquid.  In an apple juice container.

Can anyone guess what happened when I went to get myself a glass of apple juice during my visit?

Blerg.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: vorbau on April 29, 2010, 07:24:17 PM
OK, that'd put me off fried food for awhile ...
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Reika on April 29, 2010, 08:50:15 PM
OK, that'd put me off fried food for awhile ...

Not to mention apple juice.

My grandmother did something similar once with Crisco in a frosting container. Thought I'd be slick and bake up something. Fortunately I decided to taste the "frosting" to make sure it was still good before I made anything and frosted it.

Ugh.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: DangerMouth on April 30, 2010, 01:19:54 PM
I've never told this story to anyone (other than partner, who was there). It's pretty really nauseatingly gross.

b/g My partner and I spent a few years selling at flea markets. This market was entirely antiques and collectibles, not new cheap stuff (like underpants). This is something that happened pre-dawn one Sunday.

This whole post is going stealth, when I tell you it concerns porta-potties, you'll understand ;D

Finally get in around four am, park in usual spot, and I head off to relieve myself. We'd been in line for 2 hours drinking coffee, and I really need to pee. Usually, I'm good about looking, hovering, whatever the situaution calls for, but this particular morning, half-asleep and desperate and in the dark, I just sat down. Right onto the seat which was covered with someone else's diarhea. (where's the vomit smiley?). Ugh. I stayed until partner came looking for me, made him get me a water bottle and some towels we had in the car, and cleaned up the best I could.

I made it thru the day- we had this one opportunity a week to actually make some money, and there was no way I could leave, but I took a one hour shower when I got home and threw out my underpants. I still want to shower everytime I'm reminded of it.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: kingsrings on April 30, 2010, 02:25:45 PM
I know this is terrible of me, but that story made me LOL, Danger.  :-[ Although I certainly wouldn’t think it was funny if it happened to me. Now after reading that, I’m ALWAYS going to make sure I look at the seat before I sit down on any porta potty. My brother tried to do something similar to me when we were kids. We had a brown-colored toilet seat, and one time he pooped on it hoping that it would blend in enough to the seat that I would just sit right on it. Nope, didn’t work, thankfully.

My own gross-out story going on right now: an ear infection for the past two weeks. I haven’t had one since I was a kid, so I’m not used to dealing with them. There’s been some lovely leakage of puss/blood going on on and off for a few days. The doctor who gave me the ear drops for it warned me that the drops are going to make it leak. I hope it doesn’t happen when I’m in public anywhere, gross.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: vorbau on April 30, 2010, 03:30:19 PM

My own gross-out story going on right now: an ear infection for the past two weeks. I haven’t had one since I was a kid, so I’m not used to dealing with them. There’s been some lovely leakage of puss/blood going on on and off for a few days. The doctor who gave me the ear drops for it warned me that the drops are going to make it leak. I hope it doesn’t happen when I’m in public anywhere, gross.


Kingsrings - DS's doctor told him to use a small piece of cotton to absorb any leakages (he tends to get ear infections in the summer, too much swimming), and to change it frequently. It looks a little odd but he thinks it's better than drips. He also uses a round "donut" pillow, the kind with the hole in the middle, to sleep on, as he says a regular pillow hurts his ear (he tends to get otitis externa and otitis media simultaneously. I have a talented child).
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: 2littlemonkeys on April 30, 2010, 03:54:42 PM
How timely that I saw this thread.

This morning, I noticed my cat had overeaten (or eaten too fast, I'm not sure exactly what his problem is) and then experienced consequences of said overeating.

I went to get some paper towels and disinfectant spray to clean up the mess.  By the time I got back, it was gone.  The cat was near by, licking it's face the way they do just after they've eaten something... :-X

At least he spared me from having to do more than spray down the area with disinfectant.  He's considerate that way.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Shea on May 03, 2010, 04:52:57 PM
Okay, that's indeed disgusting, but I kind of wish my cats would do that. As it is, they throw up, the come stand next to me with this look that says, "Puked in the kitchen again. You gonna clean it up, or what?"
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: vorbau on May 04, 2010, 08:26:58 PM
It appears that 2littlemonkeys may have invented the self-cleaning cat! :D
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Reika on May 05, 2010, 10:57:03 AM
Depends on the cat, some of them hork up and expect you to clean up after them, some do what 2littlemonkeys' cat does. I'm not sure which is worse. :)
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: DangerMouth on May 05, 2010, 05:25:21 PM
I know this is terrible of me, but that story made me LOL, Danger.  :-[ Although I certainly wouldn’t think it was funny if it happened to me. Now after reading that, I’m ALWAYS going to make sure I look at the seat before I sit down on any porta potty. My brother tried to do something similar to me when we were kids. We had a brown-colored toilet seat, and one time he pooped on it hoping that it would blend in enough to the seat that I would just sit right on it. Nope, didn’t work, thankfully.


So glad I could put a smile on someone's face  ;), but I have to say, a 'brown' toilet seat? That strikes me as a Bad Idea, lol.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: VorFemme on May 05, 2010, 08:59:00 PM
The worst would be the dog cleaning the cat litter box for you.........
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Yarnspinner on May 05, 2010, 10:32:58 PM
The worst would be the dog cleaning the cat litter box for you.........

AIIIIIGHHHH!

My brother's lovely, gentle and terminally stupid Golden used to do that every chance she could get.  Usually when the rest of us were sitting down to dinner...the family's cat had to be relocated to my SIL's friend's home.  The Golden Lab simply wouldn't leave the cat..or the box...alone.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Yarnspinner on May 05, 2010, 10:36:18 PM
And I am reminded of a tale which I don't *think* I have ever posted here.

My best friend told me a story which she was barely able to tell me as she was laughing quite hard.  a friend of her husband's had been babysitting for another couple's known-to-be wild not quite two year old.

The little fellow hadn't given her a lick of trouble all night.  Until after bedtime, when he wandered back downstairs and said "I don't want this anymore" and handed her a handful of what had only recently been in his diaper.  Then went back upstairs. 

I never met the babysitter.  Just as well.  I know I would have said something stupid.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: snowfire on May 05, 2010, 10:39:11 PM
Arrrrgh!  I'm kitty-sitting for some friends.  I discovered today that very elderly kitty isn't very reliable about making it to the litter box for doing #2.  I had to pick up about a dozen little turdlets from the living room and I need to shake down the other rooms tomorrow in case I missed any...or she has deposited some more.  :-X  Luckily she seems to be getting the pee in the box.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Yarnspinner on May 06, 2010, 01:03:11 AM
Arrrrgh!  I'm kitty-sitting for some friends.  I discovered today that very elderly kitty isn't very reliable about making it to the litter box for doing #2.  I had to pick up about a dozen little turdlets from the living room and I need to shake down the other rooms tomorrow in case I missed any...or she has deposited some more.  :-X  Luckily she seems to be getting the pee in the box.

Oh, heavens love ya, honey.  Kitty Such is so afraid of her poo that after one trip into the litter box (she has two) she cannot get back in to poo again.  Strangely, it doesn't stop her from peeing in the box...but she won't add any more poo.  No, she wanders around the house until she finds a suitable place to use as a litter box....and she wonders why Mommy doesn't like the decor....
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: hot_shaker on May 06, 2010, 06:38:34 AM
Arrrrgh!  I'm kitty-sitting for some friends.  I discovered today that very elderly kitty isn't very reliable about making it to the litter box for doing #2.  I had to pick up about a dozen little turdlets from the living room and I need to shake down the other rooms tomorrow in case I missed any...or she has deposited some more.  :-X  Luckily she seems to be getting the pee in the box.

Oh, heavens love ya, honey.  Kitty Such is so afraid of her poo that after one trip into the litter box (she has two) she cannot get back in to poo again.  Strangely, it doesn't stop her from peeing in the box...but she won't add any more poo.  No, she wanders around the house until she finds a suitable place to use as a litter box....and she wonders why Mommy doesn't like the decor....

My one cat will not poop in the box, ever.  However he's very considerate in that he poops right next to the box (or the tub, if I leave the bathroom open) thus sparing me from little surprises.  ::)
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: hermanne on May 06, 2010, 08:07:02 AM
And I am reminded of a tale which I don't *think* I have ever posted here.

My best friend told me a story which she was barely able to tell me as she was laughing quite hard.  a friend of her husband's had been babysitting for another couple's known-to-be wild not quite two year old.

The little fellow hadn't given her a lick of trouble all night.  Until after bedtime, when he wandered back downstairs and said "I don't want this anymore" and handed her a handful of what had only recently been in his diaper.  Then went back upstairs. 

I never met the babysitter.  Just as well.  I know I would have said something stupid.

 I don't want it either! ;D

I'd have a hard time telling that story with a straight face, too!
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: snowfire on May 06, 2010, 09:17:09 AM
And I am reminded of a tale which I don't *think* I have ever posted here.

My best friend told me a story which she was barely able to tell me as she was laughing quite hard.  a friend of her husband's had been babysitting for another couple's known-to-be wild not quite two year old.

The little fellow hadn't given her a lick of trouble all night.  Until after bedtime, when he wandered back downstairs and said "I don't want this anymore" and handed her a handful of what had only recently been in his diaper.  Then went back upstairs. 

I never met the babysitter.  Just as well.  I know I would have said something stupid.

 I don't want it either! ;D

I'd have a hard time telling that story with a straight face, too!

But what wonderful leverage for when he gets to be a teenager... ;D >:D ;D
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Nora on May 06, 2010, 10:34:52 AM
Day before yesterday it turned out I have a selfcleaning mastiff... And it was SO MUCH vomit as well!  :-[
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Ambrosia Hino on May 06, 2010, 01:19:15 PM
Arrrrgh!  I'm kitty-sitting for some friends.  I discovered today that very elderly kitty isn't very reliable about making it to the litter box for doing #2.  I had to pick up about a dozen little turdlets from the living room and I need to shake down the other rooms tomorrow in case I missed any...or she has deposited some more.  :-X  Luckily she seems to be getting the pee in the box.

Oh, heavens love ya, honey.  Kitty Such is so afraid of her poo that after one trip into the litter box (she has two) she cannot get back in to poo again.  Strangely, it doesn't stop her from peeing in the box...but she won't add any more poo.  No, she wanders around the house until she finds a suitable place to use as a litter box....and she wonders why Mommy doesn't like the decor....

My one cat will not poop in the box, ever.  However he's very considerate in that he poops right next to the box (or the tub, if I leave the bathroom open) thus sparing me from little surprises.  ::)

my Princess kitty would try to use the litter box, but often as not, her behind would overhang the lip, and she'd make a mess on the outside. we started placing puppy-training pads underneath and around the box, which made clean-up SO much easier.

It also helped the problem with the younger cat, Kali, who kept deciding that the box wasn't clean enough for her tastes, so was peeing elsewhere. Now, she'll use the pad, so as to tell us "hey, you! you need to clean this!) or she'll go pee in the bathtub, instead of on random objects throughout the house. We did find out that the reason she's pickier is because she'd gotten a massive UTI while living with my ex-fiance, and it wasn't treated for a very, very long time, because we thought that her spraying was because she was in heat (started around the same time). After several rounds of antibiotics, the spraying stopped.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: 2littlemonkeys on May 06, 2010, 02:29:28 PM
 
It appears that 2littlemonkeys may have invented the self-cleaning cat! :D

That's the first time I've ever seen him do that, he usually just horks and then walks away.  Or maybe we just clean it up too fast.

Guess he was still hungry.  And now I'm wondering how many other times he's cleaned up for us...
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: vorbau on May 06, 2010, 06:53:43 PM
What is it with cats and bathtubs? Pirate deposits "calling cards" (the solid sort) in the bathtub whenever he's unhappy with us.

Another cat & bathtub story: Warning! Bugs Ahead!

This morning I was getting ready for work and Gracie, our littlest cat (5 lb) was racing around in the bathtub chasing something. I went over to look and found a daddy longlegs - or at least most of it. She'd managed to grab it by the legs (she loves eating bugs :-X) but it got away, leaving her with three legs in her mouth.

(I rescued the now-hemiplegic opilio and let it go in the basement, where the cats don't get to go. I hope the poor thing can regrow its legs!)

DH is now calling Gracie "Bug Breath."
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Pinky830 on May 06, 2010, 07:45:23 PM
When the cat starts making "I'm gonna hurl" noises, my dog comes running, eagerly wagging her tail. "Ohboyohboyohboy! Cat puke comin' up!"
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: wonderfullyanonymous on May 06, 2010, 09:48:23 PM
When the cat starts making "I'm gonna hurl" noises, my dog comes running, eagerly wagging her tail. "Ohboyohboyohboy! Cat puke comin' up!"


This made me laugh out loud, tears coursing my face, and trying not to gag all at the same time.


I had a lab mix who loved the treats the cats left in the box, unfortunately, her stomach did not. It is gross that they like those "cat treats" but nothing is as gross as what it smells like as vomit.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Nora on May 07, 2010, 06:49:01 AM
This is a horrible, horrible thread...
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: HeebyJeebyLeebee on May 07, 2010, 07:53:03 AM
This is a horrible, horrible thread...

oh, you know you love it.   ;)
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Suze on May 07, 2010, 02:47:54 PM
and the title is "fair warning"
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: vorbau on May 07, 2010, 04:51:23 PM
DH got this one today at work. BG: he is retired Navy, as are many of the folks he works with; they've worked/been stationed together many times over the last 30 years. For some reason, today (at lunch!) the conversation turned to PCS (permanent change of station) moves - when you transfer from one duty station to another. The military pays to move you and has local movers come to your quarters to pack everything for shipping.

They started trading moving horror stories. DH's boss Charlie said when they moved from Europe, his wife was alone with the movers, and, not speaking the host country's language well, repeated the few words she did know many times: "Everything! Careful! Pack!" Then she went to put their two cats in their carrier so they wouldn't get in the way.

When they got to the US and began unpacking, Charlie discovered that the movers had taken Carol at her word: They had carefully wrapped each "lump" from the cat boxes in paper and nestled them in a box of their own, on top of the double-bagged sand from the boxes. Their household goods had been in transit/storage for something like four months!

Charlie said they took the entire box straight to the dump, and it took six cans of air freshener and opening all the windows (in Maine, in November) to get rid of the smell. Carol unpacked everything else wearing rubber gloves, safety goggles and a respirator, just in case.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: M-theory on May 07, 2010, 05:35:09 PM
DH got this one today at work. BG: he is retired Navy, as are many of the folks he works with; they've worked/been stationed together many times over the last 30 years. For some reason, today (at lunch!) the conversation turned to PCS (permanent change of station) moves - when you transfer from one duty station to another. The military pays to move you and has local movers come to your quarters to pack everything for shipping.

They started trading moving horror stories. DH's boss Charlie said when they moved from Europe, his wife was alone with the movers, and, not speaking the host country's language well, repeated the few words she did know many times: "Everything! Careful! Pack!" Then she went to put their two cats in their carrier so they wouldn't get in the way.

When they got to the US and began unpacking, Charlie discovered that the movers had taken Carol at her word: They had carefully wrapped each "lump" from the cat boxes in paper and nestled them in a box of their own, on top of the double-bagged sand from the boxes. Their household goods had been in transit/storage for something like four months!

Charlie said they took the entire box straight to the dump, and it took six cans of air freshener and opening all the windows (in Maine, in November) to get rid of the smell. Carol unpacked everything else wearing rubber gloves, safety goggles and a respirator, just in case.

If only she'd learned "please" and "thank you" too.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: vorbau on May 07, 2010, 05:50:09 PM
DH got this one today at work. BG: he is retired Navy, as are many of the folks he works with; they've worked/been stationed together many times over the last 30 years. For some reason, today (at lunch!) the conversation turned to PCS (permanent change of station) moves - when you transfer from one duty station to another. The military pays to move you and has local movers come to your quarters to pack everything for shipping.

They started trading moving horror stories. DH's boss Charlie said when they moved from Europe, his wife was alone with the movers, and, not speaking the host country's language well, repeated the few words she did know many times: "Everything! Careful! Pack!" Then she went to put their two cats in their carrier so they wouldn't get in the way.

When they got to the US and began unpacking, Charlie discovered that the movers had taken Carol at her word: They had carefully wrapped each "lump" from the cat boxes in paper and nestled them in a box of their own, on top of the double-bagged sand from the boxes. Their household goods had been in transit/storage for something like four months!

Charlie said they took the entire box straight to the dump, and it took six cans of air freshener and opening all the windows (in Maine, in November) to get rid of the smell. Carol unpacked everything else wearing rubber gloves, safety goggles and a respirator, just in case.

If only she'd learned "please" and "thank you" too.

I don't think the movers did it to "get back" at Carol for being impolite (I've known her for 12 years and have never known her to be rude), it was just that she didn't speak the language well enough to be completely clear about what should be packed and what should be left or thrown away. I didn't mean to imply that she was being rude or somehow deserved this to happen.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Nora on May 08, 2010, 04:50:15 AM
This is a horrible, horrible thread...

oh, you know you love it.   ;)

You're right, I really do!  ;D
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: catgal on May 10, 2010, 08:40:00 AM
Ok, bug plagues aren't good, but the mouse plague of the early 90's was something truly horrendous.  I had to spend some time driving through rural South Australia and before I left I had heard of there being a bit of a plague in the area I was heading to. This did not prepare me for seeing waves of mice on the roads; squashed mice, live mice, just a moving carpet of little grey bodies moving over a flat blood red road. I swear I could feel them popping under the tires.  We were told not to stop the car on the worse stretches of road as the car would be swarmed by the mice. Getting back towards the city we stopped at a petrol station to hose the rotting squashed bits off of the under side of the car.  The weather was hot, the bodies were rant and I had thought I'd put it out of my mind until this topic brought it all back.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Midnight Kitty on May 10, 2010, 02:25:02 PM
My first ex-husband and I once drove through a remote part of the Southern California desert at night.  It wasn't a plague, but there were lots of desert hares crossing the road.  We missed most of them, but hit several.  One big hare cracked the oil pan. :P
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: hot_shaker on May 10, 2010, 02:32:05 PM
Ok, bug plagues aren't good, but the mouse plague of the early 90's was something truly horrendous.  I had to spend some time driving through rural South Australia and before I left I had heard of there being a bit of a plague in the area I was heading to. This did not prepare me for seeing waves of mice on the roads; squashed mice, live mice, just a moving carpet of little grey bodies moving over a flat blood red road. I swear I could feel them popping under the tires.  We were told not to stop the car on the worse stretches of road as the car would be swarmed by the mice. Getting back towards the city we stopped at a petrol station to hose the rotting squashed bits off of the under side of the car.  The weather was hot, the bodies were rant and I had thought I'd put it out of my mind until this topic brought it all back.

 :-X :-X :-X

ETA: This might be the grossest story yet.  I don't think I could have done it.  I would have turned myself right around; there's no place that I need to be that urgently!
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: LadyClaire on May 10, 2010, 02:42:38 PM
Ok, bug plagues aren't good, but the mouse plague of the early 90's was something truly horrendous.  I had to spend some time driving through rural South Australia and before I left I had heard of there being a bit of a plague in the area I was heading to. This did not prepare me for seeing waves of mice on the roads; squashed mice, live mice, just a moving carpet of little grey bodies moving over a flat blood red road. I swear I could feel them popping under the tires.  We were told not to stop the car on the worse stretches of road as the car would be swarmed by the mice. Getting back towards the city we stopped at a petrol station to hose the rotting squashed bits off of the under side of the car.  The weather was hot, the bodies were rant and I had thought I'd put it out of my mind until this topic brought it all back.

That is absolutely awful. Ugh...I'd probably freak out and would have been sobbing while running over the millions of meeces.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: vorbau on May 10, 2010, 03:42:39 PM
Mice are waaayy worse than cicadas - at least I didn't have to hose cicadas off the car :P
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: hobish on May 10, 2010, 04:57:14 PM
Ok, bug plagues aren't good, but the mouse plague of the early 90's was something truly horrendous.  I had to spend some time driving through rural South Australia and before I left I had heard of there being a bit of a plague in the area I was heading to. This did not prepare me for seeing waves of mice on the roads; squashed mice, live mice, just a moving carpet of little grey bodies moving over a flat blood red road. I swear I could feel them popping under the tires.  We were told not to stop the car on the worse stretches of road as the car would be swarmed by the mice. Getting back towards the city we stopped at a petrol station to hose the rotting squashed bits off of the under side of the car.  The weather was hot, the bodies were rant and I had thought I'd put it out of my mind until this topic brought it all back.

That is absolutely awful. Ugh...I'd probably freak out and would have been sobbing while running over the millions of meeces.

Me, too. That's horrible!
...and not being able to stop for fear of getting swarmed is like something from a horror movie.
>shudder!<

Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: HeebyJeebyLeebee on May 10, 2010, 05:50:13 PM
Recently, our vet was showing me how to express the anal mucus glands on our dogs.  Careful as he was, he accidentally squirted himself.   :P  At least he was glad that I wanted to learn how to do it myself rather than wait for him to do it.   (all my previous dogs have been long coated breeds that got regular trips to groomers who did that service as part of the groom.  our current dogs are short coated lab mixes)
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Giggity on May 10, 2010, 06:18:01 PM
This is a horrible, horrible thread...

Best thread EVER, is what!  ;D
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Giggity on May 10, 2010, 06:19:45 PM
Recently, our vet was showing me how to express the anal mucus glands on our dogs.  Careful as he was, he accidentally squirted himself.   :P  At least he was glad that I wanted to learn how to do it myself rather than wait for him to do it.   (all my previous dogs have been long coated breeds that got regular trips to groomers who did that service as part of the groom.  our current dogs are short coated lab mixes)

For some reason, I was tapped with this duty growing up. (I suspect it had to do with me being The Oldest, and therefore apparently The Most In Need Of Experience To Prepare Me For Life.) That is the single nastiest smell I have ever found coming out of a live animal.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: LadyClaire on May 11, 2010, 07:44:07 AM
Ok, bug plagues aren't good, but the mouse plague of the early 90's was something truly horrendous.  I had to spend some time driving through rural South Australia and before I left I had heard of there being a bit of a plague in the area I was heading to. This did not prepare me for seeing waves of mice on the roads; squashed mice, live mice, just a moving carpet of little grey bodies moving over a flat blood red road. I swear I could feel them popping under the tires.  We were told not to stop the car on the worse stretches of road as the car would be swarmed by the mice. Getting back towards the city we stopped at a petrol station to hose the rotting squashed bits off of the under side of the car.  The weather was hot, the bodies were rant and I had thought I'd put it out of my mind until this topic brought it all back.

That is absolutely awful. Ugh...I'd probably freak out and would have been sobbing while running over the millions of meeces.

Me, too. That's horrible!
...and not being able to stop for fear of getting swarmed is like something from a horror movie.
>shudder!<



Seriously. It does sound like a horror movie. Night of the Squishing Mice, or something.

I run over frogs, a lot. I live near a creek, and in spring and summer when it rains, little frogs come hopping across the road in droves to travel from the creek to other areas.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Punky B. on May 11, 2010, 04:37:27 PM
Speaking of dead mice (ooo, that would be a good bean dip!) I had one from this weekend.  We came home from purchasing new recliners to find a cat on our porch.  The neighborhood cats love us for some reason so this was not usual.  She ran off when she saw us coming.

Happy at the thought of unloading our new chairs, I bounded into the house to let the dogs out, only to find I was tracking...something... across the carpet.

Looked at the bottom of my shoes and found what can only be described as gut-smush.  That I had smeared across the carpet.

Just then, DH calls from outside : "Hey, there's the back half of a dead mouse out here!"  Yeah, I think I have the front half in here. :-X

Thanks kitty.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: kitty-cat on May 11, 2010, 11:05:26 PM
Recently, our vet was showing me how to express the anal mucus glands on our dogs.  Careful as he was, he accidentally squirted himself.   :P  At least he was glad that I wanted to learn how to do it myself rather than wait for him to do it.   (all my previous dogs have been long coated breeds that got regular trips to groomers who did that service as part of the groom.  our current dogs are short coated lab mixes)

For some reason, I was tapped with this duty growing up. (I suspect it had to do with me being The Oldest, and therefore apparently The Most In Need Of Experience To Prepare Me For Life.) That is the single nastiest smell I have ever found coming out of a live animal.

Yeah, we just pay the vet to do it... We love our doggies, but I don't love them that much. Plus, our pet insurance covers it.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: vorbau on May 12, 2010, 06:40:58 PM
New one from DS:

What's worse than finding half a snake in the lawn mower bag?

Finding the other half in his pants cuff.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: kitty-cat on May 12, 2010, 06:44:29 PM
New one from DS:

What's worse than finding half a snake in the lawn mower bag?

Finding the other half in his pants cuff.

EWWWWW

Better than finding half a worm in your apple though...
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Midnight Kitty on May 12, 2010, 07:07:41 PM
New one from DS:

What's worse than finding half a snake in the lawn mower bag?

Finding the other half in his pants cuff.

EWWWWW

Better than finding half a worm in your apple though...

Better than finding half a cockroach in the remaining half piece of pork hash after swallowing the first bite.

That activated my automatic reject function (http://bestsmileys.com/puking/2.gif)
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Pinky830 on May 12, 2010, 08:05:04 PM
Recently, our vet was showing me how to express the anal mucus glands on our dogs.  Careful as he was, he accidentally squirted himself.   :P  At least he was glad that I wanted to learn how to do it myself rather than wait for him to do it.   (all my previous dogs have been long coated breeds that got regular trips to groomers who did that service as part of the groom.  our current dogs are short coated lab mixes)

For some reason, I was tapped with this duty growing up. (I suspect it had to do with me being The Oldest, and therefore apparently The Most In Need Of Experience To Prepare Me For Life.) That is the single nastiest smell I have ever found coming out of a live animal.

Yeah, we just pay the vet to do it... We love our doggies, but I don't love them that much. Plus, our pet insurance covers it.

I've had several people ask me to show them how. I always say "sure, but are you sure you want to?" After they watch me do it, they generally change their minds.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: vorbau on May 23, 2010, 11:05:12 PM
ALERT: SNAKE STORY. NOT FOR THOSE WHO DON'T LIKE SNAKES.

Took a break today from cramming for my court appearance tomorrow to do some gardening. Was cleaning out the flower beds that run along the back of the house, where we have a sunroom or "Florida room" that sits about 14" off the ground. Outside, the area between the ground and the floor level of the sunroom is covered with wooden lattice with about 1" mesh.

So I'm raking leaves and fallen azaleas and picking stuff up with my hands, and I notice ... there's a snake in the bush directly in front of my face. I've seen this type around here before - black racer, kinda pretty, they're harmless, and this one was about four feet long. 

Well, I was cleaning fallen leaves out of the bush, and didn't really want snake company while doing so, so I poked at it with the rake until it dropped out of the bush and slithered away. Either it went under the sunroom, through the lattice, or I only thought it did.

So, it's getting near dark, and I'm trying to finish up, picking up the last few handfuls of leaves and yard trash and cramming them in the wagon to haul back to the compost pile. I start feeling this weird ... sorta tingling, sorta itching, sorta tickling, on my right leg. Since I was recently diagnosed with MS, and right now I have a ton of weird nerve symptoms, I didn't really think anything about it. I shook my leg a few times and the feeling stopped.

I hauled the last load back to the woods and sat down on the bench in front of our shed to catch my breath and have some water before I put everything away. DS, who has been mowing the front yard, comes over to put the mower in the shed, and says "What's that on your foot, Mom?" I look down and there's ... something black. I try to pick it up off my shoe and realize it's the snake's tail - it has slithered up inside my pant leg and is curled around my calf!

I let out a scream I bet T'Mar heard in S.A., grabbed that snake's tail with both hands, and pulled as hard as I could. That snake came whipping out like a high-pressure fire hose, and I spun around and threw it so hard into the woods it probably hit Mach 2. My neighbors from two houses over came running to see what was wrong, DH came flying out of the house with the phone in his hand, and DS ... was bent over holding his ribs laughing. It took a hot shower and two glasses of wine for me to stop shaking, and now every time I get a tingle in my leg I bend over and swat at it just to be sure.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Ambrosia Hino on May 24, 2010, 06:30:49 AM
A snake story to cheer the hearts of those that don't like snakes  ;)

Yesterday afternoon, I was pulling up to my driveway after being at the grocery store, and I saw this thin black "ribbon" flailing in the middle of the road. After I parked, I walked over to see what it was, and it was a small (thumb-thick) snake, some garden variety.

The 2 neighborhood stray cats came over to see what I was looking at. The first one bent down to sniff it, but backed off when it tried to nip her nose. Her daughter, about a year old now, comes up, walks around watching for a moment, and leans down and picks it up in her mouth, right behind the head. Then she dragged it over about 3 feet (into my front yard) and went to town on her fresh dinner  ;D

Momma-cat followed me up to my front door, begging for dry food, since her young'un didn't want to share
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: CuriousGeorge on June 01, 2010, 02:26:17 PM
Recently, our vet was showing me how to express the anal mucus glands on our dogs.  Careful as he was, he accidentally squirted himself.   :P  At least he was glad that I wanted to learn how to do it myself rather than wait for him to do it.   (all my previous dogs have been long coated breeds that got regular trips to groomers who did that service as part of the groom.  our current dogs are short coated lab mixes)

For some reason, I was tapped with this duty growing up. (I suspect it had to do with me being The Oldest, and therefore apparently The Most In Need Of Experience To Prepare Me For Life.) That is the single nastiest smell I have ever found coming out of a live animal.

Yeah, we just pay the vet to do it... We love our doggies, but I don't love them that much. Plus, our pet insurance covers it.

In our vet's office, I don't think I've ever heard one person complain about having to pay us to do that.   ;D

And now here's where my gross-out part comes into play:  I find it oddly satisfying to express them for patients.  I almost feel relieved for them to get all that out of there.  I know, I'm gross.  I guess you could say this means I'm definitely in the right line of work, though.   :-X
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: vorbau on June 01, 2010, 02:37:58 PM
Well, I have a nurse friend who loves nothing better than cleaning out a big juicy abscess ... and who once waved a canister of lung suction byproducts at colleagues and asked "Who wants a pistachio milkshake?"
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: kitty-cat on June 01, 2010, 02:43:01 PM
Why do I keep reading this thread while reading?

Oh, and you wanna know something that feels like a doggie deposit? Wet dog food that was heated up so the dog will eat it stepped on in bare feet...
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: vorbau on June 01, 2010, 10:31:14 PM
Well, y'all asked for it. This one's worse than the squirrel puddle. And it involves body parts.

This came up in the "Things You Really Shouldn't Laugh At" thread after Brain Fell Out, Dead Right There, There & There, and Mothers Against Drunk Vacuuming. This one was so bad I dubbed it "The St Mary's County Death March."

Background to story: Officer - let's call him Wingnut - on a US Naval base in the state of Maryland with a violent history decades long, a jealous streak a mile wide, and a shaky grip on reality, decided his wife was having an affair with one of the enlisted men working under Wingnut's supervision. Nothing could have been further from the truth, as the enlisted man (hereinafter "Shorty") had only met the Wingnut's wife once, and she was far too scared of her husband to so much as look cross-eyed without his express permission.

Wingnut decided that the only way to erase this stain upon his honor (yes, he used those *exact* words) was to kill said enlisted man. He decided a "manly" method of murder was to lie in wait armed with a crossbow in the parking lot outside the enlisted man's off base apartment, the week before Thanksgiving. Wingnut shot Shorty in the neck, killing him, bundled the bleeding corpse into the back seat of Wingnut's car, and drove to Wingnut's garage, where he proceeded to dismember (very sloppily and messily) the body and wrap it in black garbage bags. (I swear, there's an advertising campaign in that somewhere. "Hefty Bags! So strong, they're the choice of insane killers everywhere! Can handle your toughest body disposal needs!") He then distributed the garbage bags in various dumpsters throughout the business district immediately outside the main gates of the naval base.

Wingnut probably deserves some sort of lifetime award for "dumbest criminal" as well, as he left a trail of evidence so obvious that even a two-year-old would know better. Shorty was immediately reported missing when he didn't show up for work and a quick visit to his apartment disclosed a large patch of blood and a piece of paper: Wingnut's "to do" list for the murder. Wingnut was arrested in land-speed-record time and interrogated, during which he sang like Andrea Boccelli - long, high and sweet.

Here is where the grossness comes in. Wingnut could remember approximately which dumpsters he had used, and when, but not how many. As the murder took place in the late evening/early morning hours of a Tuesday, Wingnut had dumped the bags in the dumpsters late Tuesday night/early Wednesday morning. The dumpsters had been emptied during the day Wednesday. All but one of the dumpsters' contents were taken to the St Mary's County, Maryland landfill, where the operators were able to tell us approximately in which general area that day's takings had been dumped. Which left us something like a square acre, three feet deep, to search for black garbage bags containing four-day-old body parts.

It was ... indescribably awful. It was a cold, wet, windy day, barely above freezing. We - a team of 10 - were wearing multiple layers trying to stay warm, but it was quickly apparent that nothing short of an immersion suit would really help. I was wearing thermal underwear, a sweatshirt with a hood, an old flight suit, and a Tyvek coverall. I had to put the hood down to be able to hear and see. I couldn't work very well with insulated gloves on, so I took a old pair of cotton work gloves, cut the finger tips off, and put those over latex gloves. Heavy work boots with steel toes = ice packs, even with thermal socks.

You'd think the cold and the wind would help with the smell. Yeah, it did, by keeping it closer to the ground - and thus to us - and moving it around a lot, so that one minute you were breathing Eau De Rotting Diaper and the next inhaling Parfum Des Ex-Chickens. We discovered that every resident and his brother of the county used black garbage bags. We tried to feel the bags - later referred to as "feeling up the bags" - to detect likely shapes, so as to avoid slashing each bag open - but that didn't work, and before long we settled into a routine: Five pairs of grouchy, shivering, nauseated, furious cops, one partner using a rake and a prod (a steel pole with a hook on the end) to uncover garbage bags, the other partner on their knees in noxious ooze and goo, slashing open plastic bags like a pirate on a beheading toot. To make things fair, we switched roles every half hour or so. When we found something, we had to flag it, plot it (this was before GPS was widely available) on the master plan, photograph and video tape it, then take the bag and contents to the "reassembly site." That meant lugging a leaking, dripping, stinking garbage bag over several hundred yards of knee-deep garbage, a feat roughly akin to, oh, climbing Mt McKinley in spike heels. I lost count of how many times I turned my ankle or tripped and fell.

Then, at the reassembly site, we had to go *very*very* carefully through the contents of the garbage bag, discarding obvious trash and retaining anything that might be evidence. Used Kleenex? Might be evidence. Toilet paper? Could be. Ball of hair (my personal ick point) - yeah, bag it and tag it. Banana peel, baby diaper, chicken bones, cat food cans - it all went into evidence.

And then we had to lay out the body parts we found, in anatomic approximation, so we could see how much we had vs. how much more we had to find. Fortunately (for us), Wingnut had stuck to "major disassembly" and the smaller, harder to find bits (fingers, toes, teeth) were still attached to larger, easier to find parts. All of which were now four days past their "sell by" date, black, swollen, leaking, and gross.

I forget exactly why we called the victim "Shorty," but it had something to do with a comment by the medical examiner about his having been decapitated - "shortened," the ME called it. We had a bet about who would find the head - I did, winning a free drink (there's not a drink big enough). My partner at the time, J (she of squirrel puddle fame), found the right upper leg and, as she put it in proper position, I said "Well, J, I don't think I'm gonna make ham for dinner this year." She gave me a  ??? and I pointed to the upper thigh, with the shaft of the femur was sticking out, looking for all the world like a Smithfield ham left in the smoker too long.

It was kinda downhill from there. We found the feet, leading to many awful jokes about pickled feet, and finally finished up about dark. Then we had to endure a two-hour trip back to the morgue, ten of us in a government van, where the choices were A: open the windows, freeze to death, but not have to breathe decomp and garbage, or B: have the heater on, stave off frostbite, but smell/feel/taste/breathe rotting primal ooze.

At the morgue, I stripped jaybird naked on the loading dock, put all the disposables, my socks, and my sweatshirt in biohazard disposables, put everything else, including boots, in the autoclave, and took myself into the decontam suite, normally used for things like anthrax exposure. I then took about sixteen showers as hot as I could stand, washing my self and hair (in this order) with: Povidone, alcohol, bleach, soap, vinegar, and lemon juice. I think I scrubbed clean down to dermis and I *know* I scrubbed off at least one layer of fingerprints. I went so far as to snort vinegar to get the stink out of my nose (yes, it hurts; yes, it was worth it).

To this day, if something isn't as bad as the St Mary's Death March, it's not bad.

Oh, and Wingnut? Decided to plead not guilty. Tried, convicted, sentenced to forever with extra time for making the judge mad. I understand the rocks in Leavenworth are lovely this time of year. As a bonus, we resurrected another case involving him, re-investigated, and brought him out of vacation to be tried and convicted on new charges. As he is not what you'd call a model prisoner, he spends most of his time in what amounts to solitary. As Shorty's murder occurred after the 1987 changes in the law, his life sentence means exactly that - there is no parole possible for a federal life sentence. I think he deserves no less, not least for his choice of disposal site! >:D
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Pinky830 on June 02, 2010, 01:04:02 AM
Recently, our vet was showing me how to express the anal mucus glands on our dogs.  Careful as he was, he accidentally squirted himself.   :P  At least he was glad that I wanted to learn how to do it myself rather than wait for him to do it.   (all my previous dogs have been long coated breeds that got regular trips to groomers who did that service as part of the groom.  our current dogs are short coated lab mixes)

For some reason, I was tapped with this duty growing up. (I suspect it had to do with me being The Oldest, and therefore apparently The Most In Need Of Experience To Prepare Me For Life.) That is the single nastiest smell I have ever found coming out of a live animal.

Yeah, we just pay the vet to do it... We love our doggies, but I don't love them that much. Plus, our pet insurance covers it.

In our vet's office, I don't think I've ever heard one person complain about having to pay us to do that.   ;D

And now here's where my gross-out part comes into play:  I find it oddly satisfying to express them for patients.  I almost feel relieved for them to get all that out of there.  I know, I'm gross.  I guess you could say this means I'm definitely in the right line of work, though.   :-X

I love cleaning gross things out of pets' bodies. Anal glands, colon impactions, surgically removing infected organs...come to mama. A guilty pleasure in my line of work.  ;D
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Miss Vertigo on June 02, 2010, 04:05:19 AM
Well, y'all asked for it. This one's worse than the squirrel puddle. And it involves body parts.

Vorbau, I love your posts. They're gross and disturbing but really funny  ;D

You should totally write a book. I'd buy it. *raises glass in a toast*
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: hermanne on June 02, 2010, 07:07:05 AM
Well, y'all asked for it. This one's worse than the squirrel puddle. And it involves body parts.

Vorbau, I love your posts. They're gross and disturbing but really funny  ;D

You should totally write a book. I'd buy it. *raises glass in a toast*

Me too!
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: HeebyJeebyLeebee on June 02, 2010, 08:15:38 AM
Well, y'all asked for it. This one's worse than the squirrel puddle. And it involves body parts.

Vorbau, I love your posts. They're gross and disturbing but really funny  ;D

You should totally write a book. I'd buy it. *raises glass in a toast*

Me too!

Me three!!!  Grossness is also a guilty pleasure of mine.  I seriously considered going to nursing school and specializing in wound care.  Puss doesn't bother me.  Yet poop does.   ???
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Reika on June 02, 2010, 10:51:05 AM

Me three!!!  Grossness is also a guilty pleasure of mine.  I seriously considered going to nursing school and specializing in wound care.  Puss doesn't bother me.  Yet poop does.   ???

I can handle blood, pus, urine, poop, yet vomit does me in.



Edited since I do know how to spell.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Miss Vertigo on June 02, 2010, 11:11:31 AM

Me three!!!  Grossness is also a guilty pleasure of mine.  I seriously considered going to nursing school and specializing in wound care.  Puss doesn't bother me.  Yet poop does.   ???

I can handle blood, pus, urine, poop, yet vomit does me in.


An old friend of mine (who was a nurse) could handle all of those, but snot sent her into a hysterical panic. She couldn't even wipe her kids' noses.

Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: kingsrings on June 02, 2010, 11:29:07 AM
I can handle blood, has never grossed me out. Everything else though is a total gross-out for me, especially saliva, snot, and vomit. 
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: M-theory on June 02, 2010, 11:44:01 AM
I can handle any bodily function or fluid, human or animal, but not skin conditions. Cannot deal with them. *shudder*
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: vorbau on June 02, 2010, 12:12:59 PM
Y'all are too kind. A former colleague of mine has written a book, called "Never Suck on a Dead Man's Hand." It's pretty funny but short on the grossness, I think at her editor's insistence.

After 32 years in this line of work, there's very little that bothers me any more. Not after the St Mary's Death March and discovering that, with gloves on, I can't tell the difference between rotting human bits and rotting hamburger. They sure look and smell the same ;D!

I'm sure I'll think of some more stories, as I am going to be teaching again this fall: Intro to Forensic Sciences, or How to Lose Your Lunch in Twelve Classroom Sessions.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Outdoor Girl on June 02, 2010, 12:17:15 PM
Anybody else reminded of the opening credits scene in 'Quincy' where there is a line of young new police recruits who, one by one, faint as Quincy begins the autopsy?  Where Quincy has the little smirk on his face because they were all down for the count before he actually cut anything?
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: magicdomino on June 02, 2010, 12:27:50 PM
Another Vorbau fan.  Sooner or later, one of your writings is going to become an Internet forward and be immortalized forever.  ;)
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Suze on June 02, 2010, 02:31:50 PM
Anybody else reminded of the opening credits scene in 'Quincy' where there is a line of young new police recruits who, one by one, faint as Quincy begins the autopsy?  Where Quincy has the little smirk on his face because they were all down for the count before he actually cut anything?

yeah and I remember the show it was from -- Quincy wanted to go somewhere to "find a killer" and had to do this Autopsy Class instead .... so he reallly made it gross so all the youngun's would faint.

PS. one of my cousin's is a ferinsic Pathologist as well -- man the dinner table stories she used to tell.....
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Bexx27 on June 02, 2010, 02:46:58 PM
Recently, our vet was showing me how to express the anal mucus glands on our dogs.  Careful as he was, he accidentally squirted himself.   :P  At least he was glad that I wanted to learn how to do it myself rather than wait for him to do it.   (all my previous dogs have been long coated breeds that got regular trips to groomers who did that service as part of the groom.  our current dogs are short coated lab mixes)

For some reason, I was tapped with this duty growing up. (I suspect it had to do with me being The Oldest, and therefore apparently The Most In Need Of Experience To Prepare Me For Life.) That is the single nastiest smell I have ever found coming out of a live animal.

Yeah, we just pay the vet to do it... We love our doggies, but I don't love them that much. Plus, our pet insurance covers it.

In our vet's office, I don't think I've ever heard one person complain about having to pay us to do that.   ;D

And now here's where my gross-out part comes into play:  I find it oddly satisfying to express them for patients.  I almost feel relieved for them to get all that out of there.  I know, I'm gross.  I guess you could say this means I'm definitely in the right line of work, though.   :-X

I love cleaning gross things out of pets' bodies. Anal glands, colon impactions, surgically removing infected organs...come to mama. A guilty pleasure in my line of work.  ;D

Um, forgive my ignorance, but why do you have to express a dog's anal glands? (I'm so glad to be a cat person...)
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Suze on June 02, 2010, 02:54:29 PM
they fill up with "ick" and if you don't get it out -- sometimes the "ick" gets hard and that gland swells up and "explodes" which is a REAL mess

and cats can do the same thing

had both types of critters with "problems"
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Bexx27 on June 02, 2010, 02:59:09 PM
they fill up with "ick" and if you don't get it out -- sometimes the "ick" gets hard and that gland swells up and "explodes" which is a REAL mess

and cats can do the same thing

had both types of critters with "problems"

Ewwwww. I wonder why our vet's never mentioned that!
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: CuriousGeorge on June 02, 2010, 02:59:46 PM
they fill up with "ick" and if you don't get it out -- sometimes the "ick" gets hard and that gland swells up and "explodes" which is a REAL mess

and cats can do the same thing

had both types of critters with "problems"

I've been the witness to a cat with an impacted anal gland that became infected.  I'm fairly certain it was the most painful thing I've ever seen.   :-X
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: PeasNCues on June 02, 2010, 03:00:53 PM
Well, y'all asked for it. This one's worse than the squirrel puddle. And it involves body parts.

Vorbau, I love your posts. They're gross and disturbing but really funny  ;D

You should totally write a book. I'd buy it. *raises glass in a toast*

Vorbau, your book would sell HUGE!!

Definitely write one because I find your writing style hilarious and so easy to read!
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: HeebyJeebyLeebee on June 02, 2010, 03:09:06 PM
Well, y'all asked for it. This one's worse than the squirrel puddle. And it involves body parts.

Vorbau, I love your posts. They're gross and disturbing but really funny  ;D

You should totally write a book. I'd buy it. *raises glass in a toast*

Vorbau, your book would sell HUGE!!

Definitely write one because I find your writing style hilarious and so easy to read!

I heartily concur on all points.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Bibliophile on June 02, 2010, 03:13:11 PM
they fill up with "ick" and if you don't get it out -- sometimes the "ick" gets hard and that gland swells up and "explodes" which is a REAL mess

and cats can do the same thing

had both types of critters with "problems"

I've been the witness to a cat with an impacted anal gland that became infected.  I'm fairly certain it was the most painful thing I've ever seen.   :-X

I've seen a dog with the anal stuff on the outside.  I have no idea how it happened - the vet had to stick it back in & sew it up.  I was a volunteer at the vet's office for girl scout badge credit...   :-X
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: The Opinionator on June 02, 2010, 04:56:32 PM
Y'all are too kind. A former colleague of mine has written a book, called "Never Suck on a Dead Man's Hand." It's pretty funny but short on the grossness, I think at her editor's insistence.

After 32 years in this line of work, there's very little that bothers me any more. Not after the St Mary's Death March and discovering that, with gloves on, I can't tell the difference between rotting human bits and rotting hamburger. They sure look and smell the same ;D!

I'm sure I'll think of some more stories, as I am going to be teaching again this fall: Intro to Forensic Sciences, or How to Lose Your Lunch in Twelve Classroom Sessions.

Vorbau, you need to move to England and teach my forensics class  ;D  ;D  ;D  ;D  ;D. Please, please, please!

I love your stories.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: VorFemme on June 02, 2010, 05:37:43 PM
I thought having the electrical cord to my parents' freezer breaking (thirty years or so old) while I had strep throat........and didn't need to thaw anything for dinner until after the maggot pupas having flies come out (three or four days) in West Texas in the late spring............

Thank anything that I still barely had a sense of smell and ding dangity that VorGuy was out of town with the military that week.  Ambrosia Hino was about eight and too young to be much help (other than waking me up in the middle of the night because her throat hurt and we were both sick the next evening).

It had been about half full, too - a five foot wide chest freezer in two compartments at least half full.  Everything came out to be put in plastic garbage bags, then double bagged, then put on the little red wagon to take to the street for the trash pickup.  The freezer was cleaned about six times (baking soda, white vinegar, dish soap, bleach, sudsy ammonia, and then closed up with charcoal & newspaper for several days.

It still smelled off - I was still on antibiotics, so it might have been my sense of smell being twisted by the strep.  But Dad repaired the wiring, it was disinfected again and then donated to a charity for storage (no smell once it was COLD).  We were getting ready to move from Texas to Georgia and I had no desire to see that thing again...............I kept seeing the blood, maggots, and such on the cement floor around it.........

Even the bread smelled bad after sitting in the freezer in the heat.........
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Suze on June 02, 2010, 05:48:30 PM
you know this is a really good thread to take your mind off food

ick
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: vorbau on June 02, 2010, 11:03:48 PM
you know this is a really good thread to take your mind off food

ick


The Ehell Diet! We can write a second book, go on Oprah, and make a fortune!

Because I just happen to have another totally gross one, and it just happens to involve food. As a bit of BG, tonight was DS's graduationa concert, and my former partner, W (who runs a bio-recovery business now, cleaning crime scenes) was there. We were talking about this thread, and he reminded me of the homicide over which we first met.

It was 1995, W was the agent in charge in Alameda, CA, and I was a homicide specialist here in DC at HQ. One of the weird "boxtops" I've picked up over the years is I'm the "expert" on weird homicides - satanic, ritualistic, organized crime, etc. This crime looked like it might have been related to organized crime, as the victim, a male sailor, had been snatched by five guys in a dark van as he left work one day. He surfaced - quite literally - several days later, in the East Bay. Due to the cause and manner of death (gunshot wounds to the head, known as a "double tap" - that is, shots fired through each eye) and being dumped in the water, it was thought that his death might be related to organized crime in the area. So they called me, I agreed to catch the first flight, and they held off on the postmortem till I arrived.

So everything is going well - well, well for an autopsy - when the pathologist finishes the Y incision and begins prepping to remove the chest plate. And ...

WARNING: MAJOR GROSSNESS AHEAD! PUT DOWN ALL DRINKS AND HAVE TOWELS AT HAND!

a large Dungeness crab - about the size of a man's hand - crawled out of the abdomen.

Cue everybody but me, the pathologist, and the assistant clearing the room - in a hurry. But even I couldn't eat crab for several weeks after that.

Oh, and since the Bay is a breeding area, any Dungeness taken from the Bay have to be returned to the Bay. Guess who got the honor of transporting the crab back to the crime scene?
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: M-theory on June 02, 2010, 11:04:47 PM
Uh...eugh. Do you suppose it got caught and eaten at some point? I think I just died a little inside.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Dazi on June 03, 2010, 06:16:25 AM
I may never eat crab again  :-X.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: purplemuse on June 03, 2010, 07:06:36 AM
This story has nothing on the ones vorbau tells, but here goes:

The building where DH works had to be evacuated yesterday due to a suspected gas leak.  Luckily, all was well.

You see, it wasn't a gas leak-- someone's lunch had gone bad, and when they heated it up in the microwave, it produced a horrid stench leading the powers that be to think there was a gas leak in the building.

How bad does food have to get to smell like that?!  ???
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: JonGirl on June 03, 2010, 07:15:34 AM


eeewwww  :-X
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Outdoor Girl on June 03, 2010, 08:12:37 AM
It had been about half full, too - a five foot wide chest freezer in two compartments at least half full.  Everything came out to be put in plastic garbage bags, then double bagged, then put on the little red wagon to take to the street for the trash pickup.  The freezer was cleaned about six times (baking soda, white vinegar, dish soap, bleach, sudsy ammonia, and then closed up with charcoal & newspaper for several days.

If I'd opened a freezer like that, I think I would have been tempted to close the lid, duct tape it shut and take the entire thing to the dump as is.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: momof2weenies on June 03, 2010, 01:03:00 PM
they fill up with "ick" and if you don't get it out -- sometimes the "ick" gets hard and that gland swells up and "explodes" which is a REAL mess

and cats can do the same thing

had both types of critters with "problems"

I've been the witness to a cat with an impacted anal gland that became infected.  I'm fairly certain it was the most painful thing I've ever seen.   :-X

I've seen a dog with the anal stuff on the outside.  I have no idea how it happened - the vet had to stick it back in & sew it up.  I was a volunteer at the vet's office for girl scout badge credit...   :-X

Had to learn how to express glands for my Oscar puppy - poor baby - eventually we had them surgically removed, and he was 110% better the next day.  But if there's ever a question about how much I love him, I can pull out the "enough to stick my fingers . . . " story.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Nora on June 03, 2010, 02:39:56 PM
It had been about half full, too - a five foot wide chest freezer in two compartments at least half full.  Everything came out to be put in plastic garbage bags, then double bagged, then put on the little red wagon to take to the street for the trash pickup.  The freezer was cleaned about six times (baking soda, white vinegar, dish soap, bleach, sudsy ammonia, and then closed up with charcoal & newspaper for several days.

If I'd opened a freezer like that, I think I would have been tempted to close the lid, duct tape it shut and take the entire thing to the dump as is.

That would definitely be the Nora approach as well. I loathe waste, but that would be one wasted freezer!

The crab thing is too gross, even for you Vorbau...
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: kitty_ev on June 03, 2010, 02:44:02 PM
One of the nastiest I know happened to my friend whose job involves sewerage and water pipes. She was the only woman working at a particular sewerage site and something went wrong with the pipe she was working on, which led to her being sprayed from head to toe, front and back, in raw sewage. Naturally she was horrified and ran for the showers, only for a boss at the site to stop her because they were MEN's showers and she was a woman! I can't actually post her exact response here as it wouldn't pass the filters, but suffice to say she ended up having her shower in the men's shower room. She also ended up off work sick for several weeks with some variety of gastroenteritis that they never identified.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: DangerMouth on June 03, 2010, 02:59:46 PM

.......
WARNING: MAJOR GROSSNESS AHEAD! PUT DOWN ALL DRINKS AND HAVE TOWELS AT HAND!

a large Dungeness crab - about the size of a man's hand - crawled out of the abdomen.

Cue everybody but me, the pathologist, and the assistant clearing the room - in a hurry. But even I couldn't eat crab for several weeks after that.

Oh, and since the Bay is a breeding area, any Dungeness taken from the Bay have to be returned to the Bay. Guess who got the honor of transporting the crab back to the crime scene?

LOL, Vorbau. Am I weird cuz I think that story is way less gross than anything having to do with maggots or worms? Perhaps I'm idealizing it.

On a side-note, I never even realized our warehouse shared a parking lot with a forensic lab until the morning Laci Peterson was found and arrived at work to discover the parking lot filled with news vans and reporters with cameras.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: HermioneGranger on June 03, 2010, 03:36:04 PM
Y'all are too kind. A former colleague of mine has written a book, called "Never Suck on a Dead Man's Hand." It's pretty funny but short on the grossness, I think at her editor's insistence.

After 32 years in this line of work, there's very little that bothers me any more. Not after the St Mary's Death March and discovering that, with gloves on, I can't tell the difference between rotting human bits and rotting hamburger. They sure look and smell the same ;D!

I'm sure I'll think of some more stories, as I am going to be teaching again this fall: Intro to Forensic Sciences, or How to Lose Your Lunch in Twelve Classroom Sessions.

That sounds like a fun class.   >:D
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: vorbau on June 03, 2010, 04:44:34 PM
Uh...eugh. Do you suppose it got caught and eaten at some point? I think I just died a little inside.

I sincerely hope not, but I think we're pretty safe there - the Bay is a breeding area, so any crabs caught have to be "caught and release" and from what I understand they don't migrate much. But it was a looonng time before I could face any type of seafood again.

And DangerMouth, I'm with you - I'd rather deal with garbage and crustaceans than worms and bugs. I'll take snakes and spiders over maggots any day.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Reika on June 03, 2010, 04:55:20 PM
I'm awful, I giggled madly at the crab story, I had visions of a crab waving its claws angrily at the offending humans. :)
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: DangerMouth on June 03, 2010, 05:04:46 PM
I'm awful, I giggled madly at the crab story, I had visions of a crab waving its claws angrily at the offending humans. :)

LOL, like scorpians. They're like 3" high, and you're like, 5-6' tall, but if you turn over that rock, they are all "RAWR!!, DUDE! I'M GONNA GET YOU SUCKA!!" and waving their claws in your face.

heh heh.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: CuriousGeorge on June 03, 2010, 05:07:13 PM
I'm awful, I giggled madly at the crab story, I had visions of a crab waving its claws angrily at the offending humans. :)

LOL, like scorpians. They're like 3" high, and you're like, 5-6' tall, but if you turn over that rock, they are all "RAWR!!, DUDE! I'M GONNA GET YOU SUCKA!!" and waving their claws in your face.

heh heh.

That just makes me think of Finding Nemo.  "HEYY! HEYY!"
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Reika on June 03, 2010, 07:50:09 PM
I'm awful, I giggled madly at the crab story, I had visions of a crab waving its claws angrily at the offending humans. :)

LOL, like scorpians. They're like 3" high, and you're like, 5-6' tall, but if you turn over that rock, they are all "RAWR!!, DUDE! I'M GONNA GET YOU SUCKA!!" and waving their claws in your face.

heh heh.

Exactly! Only the scorpions might be more dangerous if they sting you. Not that getting a chunk taken out of your foot won't hurt. :)
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: M-theory on June 03, 2010, 08:44:35 PM
And now the story of how vorbau cost me 35 cents.

I was at the store tonight, buying fish sauce (I make my own tom yum soup at home). There were two kinds available: One, at $2.70 had a label with a colour illustration of a fish and a squid, the other, at $2.35 with a bad-quality colour photo of a crab. Neither contained actual crab, but guess which one I felt like I could deal with looking at on a daily basis.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Hushabye on June 03, 2010, 09:07:47 PM
Sadly, after everything else in this thread, the crab really didn't faze me at all.  In fact, I found myself considering seafood for dinner...
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: kingsrings on June 04, 2010, 10:17:16 AM
Wow, I feel wrong for posting anything now after those lovely forensics posts, nothing can top ‘em!

But anyway, was just thinking about this this morning, probably because dealing with unemployment again makes me wonder if I’d ever be forced to go back to restaurant work if other jobs aren’t available.

Having worked some restaurant jobs in high school, every once in a while us workers would run into a poop situation in the bathroom. A customer would feel the need to poop outside of the toilet. One time it was in the urinal, and another time at a different place, a repeat customer kept coming in and pooping on the floor. I don’t know why – maybe he had some mental condition that made him do that. Then the debate would start – which of us was going to be the one to clean it up?? We girls would always opt out, saying that girls shouldn’t have to do such things, and that it was a ‘guy job’ to do. Yes, we shamelessly used our sex to get out of this disgusting task. Fortunately for us, the guys chose chivalry and agreed with us. With the floor-pooper, the guys got into an argument about which one was going to do it, so they decided that another male employee who hadn’t arrived yet would be the one, they appointed him to do it since he wasn’t there yet. Poor guy. He used a pizza box to scoop it up.

I think my brother ran into a similar situation once when he worked at a gas station, someone pooped in the urinal. None of the employees wanted to touch it, so they all just poured cleaning solutions on it until it slowly dissolved away….
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Twik on June 04, 2010, 11:09:28 AM
Re the crab story - it reminds me of a fisherman's rant a few years ago, over a disputed international fishing ground:

"How can you say they're not our lobsters? They've been eating US long enough!"

(This was followed by a story about a storm, a lost fisherman, and his friend who found something very heavy while hauling in his nets a few days later.)
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: DangerMouth on June 04, 2010, 11:45:23 AM
Actually Vorbau, now I'm curious. Did the crab, er, crawl down the guy's throat, or were there other 'openings' in the body that the crab took advantage of (or created)?
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Suze on June 04, 2010, 02:28:39 PM
Actually Vorbau, now I'm curious. Did the crab, er, crawl down the guy's throat, or were there other 'openings' in the body that the crab took advantage of (or created)?

yeah -- what she said
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Nora on June 04, 2010, 02:35:11 PM
Actually Vorbau, now I'm curious. Did the crab, er, crawl down the guy's throat, or were there other 'openings' in the body that the crab took advantage of (or created)?

yeah -- what she said

.... :-X..oh, god, I have to know as well now.  :( >:( ;)
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: vorbau on June 04, 2010, 02:42:36 PM
And now the story of how vorbau cost me 35 cents.

I was at the store tonight, buying fish sauce (I make my own tom yum soup at home). There were two kinds available: One, at $2.70 had a label with a colour illustration of a fish and a squid, the other, at $2.35 with a bad-quality colour photo of a crab. Neither contained actual crab, but guess which one I felt like I could deal with looking at on a daily basis.

OH, I am so sorry! PM me and I'll mail you some cookies to make up for it! White chocolate, or dark? And I just noticed - DH buys "Three Crab" brand nam pla for his pho.

As for how the crab got where we found it ... the following is NOT for the faint-hearted.

He'd been in the bay for several days, long enough for various critters to, er, remove a lot of soft tissue, including that covering the lower abdomen. Apparently the crab entered through a small opening - kinda the way cats can get into seemingly impossible places - and happily took up residence there, but was spooked when the Y incision let bright light into the body cavity. It was trying to get out from among the loops of small bowel and hide under the victim's arm when we grabbed it.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Kimblee on June 04, 2010, 02:53:51 PM
And now the story of how vorbau cost me 35 cents.

I was at the store tonight, buying fish sauce (I make my own tom yum soup at home). There were two kinds available: One, at $2.70 had a label with a colour illustration of a fish and a squid, the other, at $2.35 with a bad-quality colour photo of a crab. Neither contained actual crab, but guess which one I felt like I could deal with looking at on a daily basis.

OH, I am so sorry! PM me and I'll mail you some cookies to make up for it! White chocolate, or dark? And I just noticed - DH buys "Three Crab" brand nam pla for his pho.

As for how the crab got where we found it ... the following is NOT for the faint-hearted.

He'd been in the bay for several days, long enough for various critters to, er, remove a lot of soft tissue, including that covering the lower abdomen. Apparently the crab entered through a small opening - kinda the way cats can get into seemingly impossible places - and happily took up residence there, but was spooked when the Y incision let bright light into the body cavity. It was trying to get out from among the loops of small bowel and hide under the victim's arm when we grabbed it.

Poor little crab.. just trying to have some quiet time in his comfey new home.

Mean people cutting up his home... shame!

(Sad thing is, i do actually feel a little sorry for the crab. i like crabs.)
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: vorbau on June 04, 2010, 02:54:47 PM
Wow, I feel wrong for posting anything now after those lovely forensics posts, nothing can top ‘em!

But anyway, was just thinking about this this morning, probably because dealing with unemployment again makes me wonder if I’d ever be forced to go back to restaurant work if other jobs aren’t available.

Having worked some restaurant jobs in high school, every once in a while us workers would run into a poop situation in the bathroom. A customer would feel the need to poop outside of the toilet. One time it was in the urinal, and another time at a different place, a repeat customer kept coming in and pooping on the floor. I don’t know why – maybe he had some mental condition that made him do that. Then the debate would start – which of us was going to be the one to clean it up?? We girls would always opt out, saying that girls shouldn’t have to do such things, and that it was a ‘guy job’ to do. Yes, we shamelessly used our sex to get out of this disgusting task. Fortunately for us, the guys chose chivalry and agreed with us. With the floor-pooper, the guys got into an argument about which one was going to do it, so they decided that another male employee who hadn’t arrived yet would be the one, they appointed him to do it since he wasn’t there yet. Poor guy. He used a pizza box to scoop it up.

I think my brother ran into a similar situation once when he worked at a gas station, someone pooped in the urinal. None of the employees wanted to touch it, so they all just poured cleaning solutions on it until it slowly dissolved away….


I am amazed at the number of stories on "Customers Suck" (www.customerssuck.com) that involve this kind of thing. What is WRONG with people? I mean, I encounter containment failure (with live people, I mean), but it's almost always due either to medical issues, or intoxication issues, which explains if not forgives it. But to do something like that deliberately ...

A colleague - cop, but not at my agency - dealt with a serial home burglar who would leave similar "presents" behind. A forensic psychologist said the burglar - who was caught, eventually - was "marking territory" the same way animals do, that it's a display of power and domination. People who do things like that must have pretty pathetic lives if that's the only way they can feel powerful >:D.

Oh, and just in case you ever run into that situation again - our crime scene techs have this "instant freeze" spray that I understand you can get from pet supply stores as well - spray it on, it freezes the "pile," which descents it and makes it solid enough to pick up. One of our techs said talcum powder or baking soda will also work.

Ah, the things you learn dealing with the public ::)
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: kingsrings on June 04, 2010, 03:29:12 PM
Didn't think about the 'territory marking' thing, that makes sense. I do think that in some cases, this could be a psychological or psychiatric disorder, to poop in public places like that. Think I read or heard about it somewhere, but I can't remember what the name of it was. With the floor pooper guy, I do think this must of been the case, as he kept coming back and doing it over and over again.

But in other cases, it's just a malicious prank of some jerk's part. Maybe they're angry at the store or restaurant about something, and want to get revenge. Or maybe someone dared them to do it, thinking it was funny.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: DangerMouth on June 04, 2010, 04:28:37 PM
And now the story of how vorbau cost me 35 cents.

I was at the store tonight, buying fish sauce (I make my own tom yum soup at home). There were two kinds available: One, at $2.70 had a label with a colour illustration of a fish and a squid, the other, at $2.35 with a bad-quality colour photo of a crab. Neither contained actual crab, but guess which one I felt like I could deal with looking at on a daily basis.

OH, I am so sorry! PM me and I'll mail you some cookies to make up for it! White chocolate, or dark? And I just noticed - DH buys "Three Crab" brand nam pla for his pho.

As for how the crab got where we found it ... the following is NOT for the faint-hearted.

He'd been in the bay for several days, long enough for various critters to, er, remove a lot of soft tissue, including that covering the lower abdomen. Apparently the crab entered through a small opening - kinda the way cats can get into seemingly impossible places - and happily took up residence there, but was spooked when the Y incision let bright light into the body cavity. It was trying to get out from among the loops of small bowel and hide under the victim's arm when we grabbed it.

Poor little crab.. just trying to have some quiet time in his comfey new home.

Mean people cutting up his home... shame!

(Sad thing is, i do actually feel a little sorry for the crab. i like crabs.)

yeah, I have the same reaction... Poor crab, I'm glad he got home again after all that trauma. Yay, Vorbau!, for taking him back to the bay.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Shea on June 05, 2010, 01:21:28 AM
And now the story of how vorbau cost me 35 cents.

I was at the store tonight, buying fish sauce (I make my own tom yum soup at home). There were two kinds available: One, at $2.70 had a label with a colour illustration of a fish and a squid, the other, at $2.35 with a bad-quality colour photo of a crab. Neither contained actual crab, but guess which one I felt like I could deal with looking at on a daily basis.

OH, I am so sorry! PM me and I'll mail you some cookies to make up for it! White chocolate, or dark? And I just noticed - DH buys "Three Crab" brand nam pla for his pho.

As for how the crab got where we found it ... the following is NOT for the faint-hearted.

He'd been in the bay for several days, long enough for various critters to, er, remove a lot of soft tissue, including that covering the lower abdomen. Apparently the crab entered through a small opening - kinda the way cats can get into seemingly impossible places - and happily took up residence there, but was spooked when the Y incision let bright light into the body cavity. It was trying to get out from among the loops of small bowel and hide under the victim's arm when we grabbed it.

Poor little crab.. just trying to have some quiet time in his comfey new home.

Mean people cutting up his home... shame!

(Sad thing is, i do actually feel a little sorry for the crab. i like crabs.)

Me too. With garlic butter >:D.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: M-theory on June 05, 2010, 01:24:14 AM
Vorbau, I'd be really tempted to take you up on that if it wouldn't cost you international shipping and if Customs wouldn't be more likely to get cookies out of the deal than I would. ;D
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: vorbau on June 05, 2010, 01:27:17 AM
Vorbau, I'd be really tempted to take you up on that if it wouldn't cost you international shipping and if Customs wouldn't be more likely to get cookies out of the deal than I would. ;D

I'll label it religious books and ladies' underwear. Guarantee they won't open it, just x-ray it and let it go. Shall I at least send you the 35 cents?

Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: M-theory on June 05, 2010, 01:40:00 AM
No, I can't eat 35 cents. Send me cookies. ;D
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Kimblee on June 05, 2010, 07:12:25 AM
And now the story of how vorbau cost me 35 cents.

I was at the store tonight, buying fish sauce (I make my own tom yum soup at home). There were two kinds available: One, at $2.70 had a label with a colour illustration of a fish and a squid, the other, at $2.35 with a bad-quality colour photo of a crab. Neither contained actual crab, but guess which one I felt like I could deal with looking at on a daily basis.

OH, I am so sorry! PM me and I'll mail you some cookies to make up for it! White chocolate, or dark? And I just noticed - DH buys "Three Crab" brand nam pla for his pho.

As for how the crab got where we found it ... the following is NOT for the faint-hearted.

He'd been in the bay for several days, long enough for various critters to, er, remove a lot of soft tissue, including that covering the lower abdomen. Apparently the crab entered through a small opening - kinda the way cats can get into seemingly impossible places - and happily took up residence there, but was spooked when the Y incision let bright light into the body cavity. It was trying to get out from among the loops of small bowel and hide under the victim's arm when we grabbed it.

Poor little crab.. just trying to have some quiet time in his comfey new home.

Mean people cutting up his home... shame!

(Sad thing is, i do actually feel a little sorry for the crab. i like crabs.)

Me too. With garlic butter >:D.

I ike them the way I like chickens.

My personal crab (may he rest in peace) was awesome and funny and perfect.

All the others are delicious.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: LadyClaire on June 06, 2010, 08:50:21 PM
The crab story really didn't bother me. I guess because I've always assumed that bodies dumped in ocean will be eaten by crabs, fish, etc.

Now, the dismembered corpse in a dump story? Ugh....

But it also reminded me of a local crime that happened about ten years ago.

Someone killed and dismembered a man, and figured he'd drive until he found a nice isolated spot to dump the pieces of the body. So he scattered the pieces liberally down the hillside, thinking they wouldn't be found. The problem with that is that while the area he chose (down the road from my house) is indeed rather isolated, a lot of people who do live here keep hunting dogs..and they let those hunting dogs run loose. The morning after the body was dumped, a man let his dog out to run around..and the dog came home with a hand.

So of course the cops were called, and had to spend hours combing the fields and ditches looking for the body parts. They recovered most of the body, but..not all of it. I know that by now, any remains that weren't found have probably been washed away, eaten by animals, and otherwise lost. But every time I take a walk I can't help but keep an eye out for anything that looks like a human bone.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Suze on June 06, 2010, 08:52:37 PM
see and my girlfiend's SIL thought it was really gross that the dog came home with a dear leg....

wonder what she would have done with a hand?
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: LadyClaire on June 07, 2010, 06:52:30 AM
see and my girlfiend's SIL thought it was really gross that the dog came home with a dear leg....

wonder what she would have done with a hand?

My mother's dog dug out of the yard and brought home a deer leg once. He was rather proud of himself. My mother called me in hysterics, and I had to go down to her house and take the deer leg away from the dog (not an easy feat) and then bag it up and dispose of it.

Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: M-theory on June 07, 2010, 02:53:41 PM
All of you aware of my laissez-faire attitude about spiders may find this amusing.

I dreamed last night that a spider crawled up my nose. I then woke up with a stuffy nose. :-X

I blame vorbau again, since spiders are really just land crabs...
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: vorbau on June 07, 2010, 03:30:12 PM
All of you aware of my laissez-faire attitude about spiders may find this amusing.

I dreamed last night that a spider crawled up my nose. I then woke up with a stuffy nose. :-X

I blame vorbau again, since spiders are really just land crabs...

I'm used to it, dear.  ;D

Here's another one along the "dog bringing home souvenirs" line. As background, we own a cabin in a mountain nature preserve in WV. Because the preserve borders a wildlife management area (active hunting grounds) a lot of the wildlife has learned to take refuge in the preserve. I have seen black bears, deer, foxes, raccoons, you name it. I have a picture someplace of a black bear raiding the bird feeder on the cabin's deck, and of a deer - curious, and not at all afraid - wandering into the kitchen through the open front door. I've seen evidence that a mountain lion lives near the lake (tracks and hair) though I've yet to sight him.

About half the cabins in the preserve have year-round inhabitants, all of whom know me and what I do for a living. The last time we were up there - unfortunately, it's now more than a year ago! - we arrived to find our answering machine loaded to the max with increasingly hysterical messages from a woman who lives down the hill from us, near the stream. Her dog had brought home what she was certain was a human hand and she wanted me to come over RIGHT.NOW. and do something with it (she was so upset it apparently hadn't occurred to her to just call the sheriff).

So I hopped on the bike and went down to Kathy's. She was almost in tears as she handed me a styrofoam cooler and a pair of rubber gloves (I had latex ones in my pocket). Inside the cooler was a big lumpy kitchen towel wrapped in several layers of plastic. I unwrapped it carefully, taking photos at each stage (just in case) with Kathy sort of hovering over my shoulder and sort of trying not to look.

I took one look at the thing in the towel ... and burst out laughing. Kathy jumped, shrieked, and started crying, because she thought I was making fun of her (I really wish I hadn't laughed, but I couldn't help it). I explained as fast as I could - it was a skeletal black bear paw, NOT a hand (they really do look very similar), and the reason I was laughing was that I had been fooled by one only a few months earlier, while doing a forensic anthropology course. I apologized over and over and eventually she calmed down (helped by a healthy slug of brandy).

She gave me the paw and I took it home and cleaned it to add to my collection. It'll be one of the main exhibits in the anthro segment of the class I'm teaching this summer. (Along with the calf and chimp skulls that people think are human, until I show them the differences. Yes, I am a mean teacher. >:D)
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: kitty-cat on June 07, 2010, 09:33:56 PM
Vorbau, when I saw that it was you who had posted last, I put away what I was eating and eased my cup of water away...


Methinks a book should be written from this thread (well, this one and the special snowflakes thread)... It would sell so well that the server fees would be paid for all eternity...
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: 2littlemonkeys on June 08, 2010, 05:00:24 PM
Vorau, I love your stories too.  Is it wrong that I laughed at the crab story?  And then went right on munching my popcorn?

I have a story from several years ago.  It's not as bad as some others here but I was pretty grossed out.  I'd managed to block it out until DH helpfully reminded me last night.  Thanks DH.

I used to go to a salon that was on a pretty busy street but had 3 parking spaces in the alley behind it. I parked there whenever I could.

One day, after getting a haircut, I walked out to my car to find someone (not a dog, you could tell the difference) had left a...present...right behind the wheel of my car.  There was absolutely no way I could avoid it, I HAD to drive right over it.  I was so grossed out, I went right to a car wash and hosed it off and then had DH do it again with the power washer when I got home.

 :-X

Who DOES that?  I even took it kind of personally.  Let's say it was an emergency and it was coming out no matter what.  There were other places it could have been left so that other people wouldn't have to drive over it.  bleh.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: snowfire on June 08, 2010, 07:28:15 PM
ICK!!!!!

Had one just like that at the gym today.  I went in to shower after swimming and just missed stepping in a large "deposit".   :o

Who does that in a shower?  Even if it was a flaming emergency, the least you could do is clean it up. And this was in the adults only locker room, so it couldn't be a little kid that just couldn't make it to the john. 
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: VorFemme on June 08, 2010, 08:15:15 PM
It had been about half full, too - a five foot wide chest freezer in two compartments at least half full.  Everything came out to be put in plastic garbage bags, then double bagged, then put on the little red wagon to take to the street for the trash pickup.  The freezer was cleaned about six times (baking soda, white vinegar, dish soap, bleach, sudsy ammonia, and then closed up with charcoal & newspaper for several days.

If I'd opened a freezer like that, I think I would have been tempted to close the lid, duct tape it shut and take the entire thing to the dump as is.

My parents' freezer - not mine............I had to clean it up.  

Dad did decide to repair it and then donate it (no children at home).  

Three months later, younger brother's marriage breaks up and he moves into the rental house that the freezer had been in - with his two kids.  

They later ended up moving in with my parents (long story involving a hospital stay by grandson) and Dad had to buy another freezer - this time he got an upright instead of a chest freezer.  Smaller but lighter, easier access, and cheaper to run since it was about 35 years newer.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: bellawitch on June 08, 2010, 09:02:17 PM
I have a couple of stories

One happened back when Hurricane Ivan hit. My great-uncle's house had a tree fall on it, so my aunt let him live in her spare bedroom while it was being fixed. It was the worst four months of her life.

The crowning moment was when she heard him shuffling around in his room in the middle of the night. He sounded as if he was in distress. She jumps out of bed and goes in his room. As she gets near him, her bare foot hits a section of carpet that was very wet and very warm.

Til this day, whenever this uncle's name is mentioned, she goes off on a tirade about all the things he did while living in her house, and the last thing she always says is "I can't believe he peed on my brand new carpet."

The next incident happened to my ex's boss many years ago when he was living in Toronto. He had developed a situation where ex-lax was needed. He was always one for overkill, so he decided if one would be good the whole box would be wonderful. Next morning: no results.

Late that afternoon he started craving a certain fried chicken, which was a subway ride away. He gets to the restaurant and is standing in line. What he thought was a little gas was the ex-lax kicking in. The only thing that saved him was he was wearing his large rubber surveyer's boot, which quickly got filled to the rim with what was pure brown water. What always got me was he stayed in line and ordered his chicken (I bet he got their quickest service ever!). He then rode the subway home in this condition, enjoying his meal. The rest of the evening was spent on the toilet.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Shea on June 09, 2010, 02:12:36 AM
I have a couple of stories

One happened back when Hurricane Ivan hit. My great-uncle's house had a tree fall on it, so my aunt let him live in her spare bedroom while it was being fixed. It was the worst four months of her life.

The crowning moment was when she heard him shuffling around in his room in the middle of the night. He sounded as if he was in distress. She jumps out of bed and goes in his room. As she gets near him, her bare foot hits a section of carpet that was very wet and very warm.

Til this day, whenever this uncle's name is mentioned, she goes off on a tirade about all the things he did while living in her house, and the last thing she always says is "I can't believe he peed on my brand new carpet."

Did your great-uncle have dementia? If not...wow. That's incredibly bizarre.

Either way, quite unpleasant. :P
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: hot_shaker on June 09, 2010, 06:35:54 AM
The next incident happened to my ex's boss many years ago when he was living in Toronto. He had developed a situation where ex-lax was needed. He was always one for overkill, so he decided if one would be good the whole box would be wonderful. Next morning: no results.

Late that afternoon he started craving a certain fried chicken, which was a subway ride away. He gets to the restaurant and is standing in line. What he thought was a little gas was the ex-lax kicking in. The only thing that saved him was he was wearing his large rubber surveyer's boot, which quickly got filled to the rim with what was pure brown water. What always got me was he stayed in line and ordered his chicken (I bet he got their quickest service ever!). He then rode the subway home in this condition, enjoying his meal. The rest of the evening was spent on the toilet.

 :o :o

Ewwww!
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Amava on June 09, 2010, 06:49:52 AM
I have a couple of stories

One happened back when Hurricane Ivan hit. My great-uncle's house had a tree fall on it, so my aunt let him live in her spare bedroom while it was being fixed. It was the worst four months of her life.

The crowning moment was when she heard him shuffling around in his room in the middle of the night. He sounded as if he was in distress. She jumps out of bed and goes in his room. As she gets near him, her bare foot hits a section of carpet that was very wet and very warm.

Til this day, whenever this uncle's name is mentioned, she goes off on a tirade about all the things he did while living in her house, and the last thing she always says is "I can't believe he peed on my brand new carpet."

Did your great-uncle have dementia? If not...wow. That's incredibly bizarre.

Either way, quite unpleasant. :P

Unpleasant, that's for sure. Dementia, not necessarily. It does not take dementia to pee on the floor or in the closet in the middle of the night - a light sleepwalking condition is enough to cause such a, ahem, unfortunate mistake. I've known several people who had that happen. Definitely not pleasant.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Dazi on June 09, 2010, 06:52:25 AM
I have a couple of stories

One happened back when Hurricane Ivan hit. My great-uncle's house had a tree fall on it, so my aunt let him live in her spare bedroom while it was being fixed. It was the worst four months of her life.

The crowning moment was when she heard him shuffling around in his room in the middle of the night. He sounded as if he was in distress. She jumps out of bed and goes in his room. As she gets near him, her bare foot hits a section of carpet that was very wet and very warm.

Til this day, whenever this uncle's name is mentioned, she goes off on a tirade about all the things he did while living in her house, and the last thing she always says is "I can't believe he peed on my brand new carpet."


Did your great-uncle have dementia? If not...wow. That's incredibly bizarre.

Either way, quite unpleasant. :P

My guess would be sleepwalking....my DB did that a few times sleepwalking.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: hot_shaker on June 09, 2010, 06:53:07 AM
Unpleasant, that's for sure. Dementia, not necessarily. It does not take dementia to pee on the floor or in the closet in the middle of the night - a light sleepwalking condition is enough to cause such a, ahem, unfortunate mistake. I've known several people who had that happen. Definitely not pleasant.

At my reunion this past weekend, a classmate told a story about her husband.  I don't know all of the circumstances but, long story short, he ended up peeing in her suitcase one night.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: hermanne on June 09, 2010, 09:10:42 AM
The next incident happened to my ex's boss many years ago when he was living in Toronto. He had developed a situation where ex-lax was needed. He was always one for overkill, so he decided if one would be good the whole box would be wonderful. Next morning: no results.

Late that afternoon he started craving a certain fried chicken, which was a subway ride away. He gets to the restaurant and is standing in line. What he thought was a little gas was the ex-lax kicking in. The only thing that saved him was he was wearing his large rubber surveyer's boot, which quickly got filled to the rim with what was pure brown water. What always got me was he stayed in line and ordered his chicken (I bet he got their quickest service ever!). He then rode the subway home in this condition, enjoying his meal. The rest of the evening was spent on the toilet.

 :o :o

Ewwww!

Is it bad of me that this one had me laughing?
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: hermanne on June 09, 2010, 09:26:59 AM
The refrigerator stories reminded me of this from my first nanny job.

The family was moving to a new house (I was a live-in and moving with them) and had a moving company packing up the house. The movers had taken the fridge before Boss Mom had a chance to clean it out. There was still food inside! She literally ran outside yelling at them to stop, and got the food out as fast as she could so they could load it on the truck.

It was a week before the new house was ready, so the truck with its load sat in storage for that time. Did I also mention it was summer?

At the new house, the fridge went in the laundry room. (The house came with a fridge.) Something smelled in it, but we chalked that up to the fridge being in storage and unplugged for a week. Wiped it down, put in a few cups of baking soda, plugged it back in, much better. We used it mainly for drinks and ice cream, so we weren't opening it that often.

Until one day, maybe a week or two after the move, I tried to open the drawer on the bottom. It was stuck. What was it stuck on? A couple of moldy lamb chops that had been in there since the old house. (http://bestsmileys.com/sick/7.gif)
(I think it was in the freezer half? Can't remember.)

That fridge got a much more thorough cleaning after that.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: kingsrings on June 09, 2010, 10:18:13 AM
ICK!!!!!

Had one just like that at the gym today.  I went in to shower after swimming and just missed stepping in a large "deposit".   :o

Who does that in a shower?  Even if it was a flaming emergency, the least you could do is clean it up. And this was in the adults only locker room, so it couldn't be a little kid that just couldn't make it to the john. 

 :o I am already totally grossed out about using showers that aren't mine, and that just sealed the deal. Sounds like it was done by one of those sickos we were talking about earlier in the thread who get off on 'marking their territory'.

I am especially grossed out about using gym or health club showers. I saw a report on the news once where they tested the 'grossness' level of health club showers, and they were all off the chart. When I was forced to use a hc shower, I always wore flip flops.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Diane AKA Traska on June 09, 2010, 10:32:02 AM
Can I just say that I am dearly loving this thread?  Especially Vorbau.  It isn't the content, it's the delivery.  You, my internet acquaintance, are a true gem.  Your experiences put any of my "midnight barefoot walks finding a hairball" stories to shame.

Also, this is not a placeholder for updates.  Nope.  No sirree.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: kitty_ev on June 09, 2010, 11:38:16 AM
The next incident happened to my ex's boss many years ago when he was living in Toronto. He had developed a situation where ex-lax was needed. He was always one for overkill, so he decided if one would be good the whole box would be wonderful. Next morning: no results.

Late that afternoon he started craving a certain fried chicken, which was a subway ride away. He gets to the restaurant and is standing in line. What he thought was a little gas was the ex-lax kicking in. The only thing that saved him was he was wearing his large rubber surveyer's boot, which quickly got filled to the rim with what was pure brown water. What always got me was he stayed in line and ordered his chicken (I bet he got their quickest service ever!). He then rode the subway home in this condition, enjoying his meal. The rest of the evening was spent on the toilet.

Oh My Days. This is one of the worst things I've ever heard and grosses me out more than icky corpses ever could!
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: DangerMouth on June 09, 2010, 01:42:23 PM
I peed in a subway station once. I had just been released from the emergency room where (among other things) I'd been given what must have been an awesome amount of IV liquids for 6 hours. I guess I just didn't realize that your body treats IV liquids the same way as liquids you drink, because while waiting for the train (11pm, deserted station), I had the most desperate urge I've ever had. I ended up running to the far end of the platform and relieving myself there. This was way back when stations were dirty and poorly lit, fortunately (as I don't think I added much to the filth that was already present). Ah, New York.

Also back in the dawn of time, I was sharing my small place with a roommate. One weekend his GF came to visit, no problem. Except that I had to use the bathroom after her and discovered a huge smear of blood on the toilet seat. Who does that and doesn't wipe it? At least the toilet was flushed.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: kingsrings on June 09, 2010, 02:36:50 PM
Unfortunately, many people at my workplace do that, that's who.  :P
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: DangerMouth on June 09, 2010, 02:45:45 PM
Unfortunately, many people at my workplace do that, that's who.  :P

I'm sorry to hear that :P
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Everlee on June 09, 2010, 03:01:54 PM
Once I saw my dog out in the woods behind our house so I walked back there to pick him up.  And out of his mouth and onto my arm plopped a big pile of squirming, slimy maggots.  *shudder*  I still remember gagging over it.  The water in my shower was so hot that I was maroon when I got out.
Still the most disgusting thing I've ever had happen to me.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Shea on June 09, 2010, 03:07:41 PM
I have a couple of stories

One happened back when Hurricane Ivan hit. My great-uncle's house had a tree fall on it, so my aunt let him live in her spare bedroom while it was being fixed. It was the worst four months of her life.

The crowning moment was when she heard him shuffling around in his room in the middle of the night. He sounded as if he was in distress. She jumps out of bed and goes in his room. As she gets near him, her bare foot hits a section of carpet that was very wet and very warm.

Til this day, whenever this uncle's name is mentioned, she goes off on a tirade about all the things he did while living in her house, and the last thing she always says is "I can't believe he peed on my brand new carpet."


Did your great-uncle have dementia? If not...wow. That's incredibly bizarre.

Either way, quite unpleasant. :P

My guess would be sleepwalking....my DB did that a few times sleepwalking.

I've never lived with a guy other than my father, no brothers and I've never shared a place with an SO...I had no idea that males are prone to that sort of thing!
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: bellawitch on June 09, 2010, 03:14:19 PM
about my uncle...dementia wasn't the issue. He died a couple of years ago at 93 and was as clear as a bell. He was, at best, difficult. His claim was that he was standing up trying to use the portable urinal, but between holding the opening at a downward slant and not being careful with his aim to start with....  His attitude was that my aunt would just clean it up.

And if anyone is wondering....yes, she always wore bedroom slippers after that incident.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: vorbau on June 09, 2010, 08:28:16 PM
ICK!!!!!

Had one just like that at the gym today.  I went in to shower after swimming and just missed stepping in a large "deposit".   :o

Who does that in a shower?  Even if it was a flaming emergency, the least you could do is clean it up. And this was in the adults only locker room, so it couldn't be a little kid that just couldn't make it to the john. 

OK, that does it. I am doing a paper on this for next year's forensic science convention. About why people do things like this, how to handle it, and how/when/if they should be arrested. And what appropriate punishments would be.  >:D
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Diane AKA Traska on June 09, 2010, 08:54:07 PM
I vote for placing the offending hazardous material back in its original biological receptacle. Then spackling the receptacle shut.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Bellantara on June 09, 2010, 09:01:54 PM
I vote for placing the offending hazardous material back in its original biological receptacle. Then spackling the receptacle shut.

Seconded.  >:D
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: vorbau on June 09, 2010, 09:18:45 PM
I was thinking more along the lines of not only cleaning up their own gifts to an unsuspecting public, but additional things like cleaning out public conveniences, scrubbing out septic tanks, and perhaps volunteering at the local wastewater treatment facility...or maybe the local landfill. How about sorting out all the disposable diapers (and contents) from the recyclables at the dump?

If mitigating circumstances exist (i.e., sudden butt explosion disorder, or some attempt made to clean up after themselves), I'll reduce it to cleaning up after SS pets on local public streets and parks.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: DangerMouth on June 09, 2010, 10:09:32 PM
I was thinking more along the lines of not only cleaning up their own gifts to an unsuspecting public, but additional things like cleaning out public conveniences, scrubbing out septic tanks, and perhaps volunteering at the local wastewater treatment facility...or maybe the local landfill. How about sorting out all the disposable diapers (and contents) from the recyclables at the dump?

If mitigating circumstances exist (i.e., sudden butt explosion disorder, or some attempt made to clean up after themselves), I'll reduce it to cleaning up after SS pets on local public streets and parks.

Gah! I'd suggest that a day of cleaning their local Walmart bathrooms would be punishment enough, but why save wallyworld money? Perhaps a week of cleaning the bus station restrooms?
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: bellawitch on June 09, 2010, 10:23:23 PM
I can't help but think of the old prank of filling a paper bag with doggy doo, placing it on someone's doorstep, lighting it on fire and ringing the bell. The idea was the person coming to the door would immediately stomp on the fire to put it out, thus finding the surprise.

So if someone leaves a gift in the shower at the gym, I think regifting wouldn't be rude in this instance. Lighting it on fire, might border on rude.

But this is the chance we'll have to take!
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: kitty_ev on June 10, 2010, 02:06:35 PM
All this mention of icky toilets reminds me of one I encountered on my gap year. It was in a youth hostel in Canada (might have been Quebec- can't quite remember) and I went to use the toilet. I opened the first cubicle- no TP. Second cubicle was occupied. Third I opened and I swear every millimetre of the toilet bowl was caked in spattered excrement. Clearly someone had experienced an explosive bowel incident and didn't feel like flushing afterwards! I don't know which was worse- the sight and smell of all that faecal matter or the fact that there was no TP in the bowl so clearly whoever it was hadn't wiped  :-X
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Spring Water on Sundays on June 10, 2010, 03:06:47 PM
A dear friend of mine worked for a few months at an upscale clothing chain store in a mall. More than once, she found soiled underwear, urine, and, um, used feminine products in the fitting rooms. Now, whenever I go clothes shopping, I always wear slip-on shoes. That way, my bare feet never have to touch the floor (lift one leg out of pants, put foot back down directly into shoe, repeat with other leg)  :-X
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Midnight Kitty on June 10, 2010, 03:21:08 PM
One of the many things I love about this thread are the cleverly phrased euphemisms.

someone had experienced an explosive bowel incident
This one caused an explosive laughing incident (http://bestsmileys.com/lol/13.gif)
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: kingsrings on June 10, 2010, 04:37:03 PM
A dear friend of mine worked for a few months at an upscale clothing chain store in a mall. More than once, she found soiled underwear, urine, and, um, used feminine products in the fitting rooms. Now, whenever I go clothes shopping, I always wear slip-on shoes. That way, my bare feet never have to touch the floor (lift one leg out of pants, put foot back down directly into shoe, repeat with other leg)  :-X

I had something similar happen some months ago in a theater dressing room. There was a shelf above my head, and I accidentally hit it, causing something to flutter down on the floor. It was a very bloody panty liner. Some female had just shoved it onto the shelf instead of taking it to the garbage can. And I was so horrified, I just picked it up with a kleenex and put it back on the shelf.  :P
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: snowfire on June 11, 2010, 12:44:37 AM
ICK!!!!!

Had one just like that at the gym today.  I went in to shower after swimming and just missed stepping in a large "deposit".   :o

Who does that in a shower?  Even if it was a flaming emergency, the least you could do is clean it up. And this was in the adults only locker room, so it couldn't be a little kid that just couldn't make it to the john. 

OK, that does it. I am doing a paper on this for next year's forensic science convention. About why people do things like this, how to handle it, and how/when/if they should be arrested. And what appropriate punishments would be.  >:D

I just finished reading "Never Suck A Dead Man's Hand".  The "Shoebox S***er" and the turd burglar were  :o  Some people are just plain bat poo crazy.

Excellent book BTW.  I still think you should write one too.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Ereine on June 11, 2010, 12:55:06 AM
This isn't really that horrible but the toilets made me remember it. I grew up in a rental home owned by the town (it was mostly very nice and we had a real community with our neighbours). They didn't renovate it for years and after maybe 15 years they decided that everyone would get new bathrooms, with tiled floors instead of plastic. The workers were quite unfriendly and uncommunicative, for example they didn't tell anything about when it was safe to go to the bathroom. My sister stepped inside the room when she shouldn't have which made them extremely angry (maybe they had right to be that, but she didn't really cause dmage) and unpleasant to her (she was 16 at the time and home studying for some exams). They had removed our toilet and after the incident said that actually it was needed somewhere else (quite gross in itself) and when it came time to replace it they brought in the most disgusting toilet we'd ever seen. It wasn't completely covered in excrement, but close, I can't really imagine how a toilet could look like that. My mother complained about it and the town sent in a couple of cleaners who had never seen anything like it either. We had to keep the toilet but at least after that it was clean. My mother moved out couple of years later.  
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: kingsrings on June 11, 2010, 02:17:43 PM
Some friends and I got into a medical discussion last week about bedpans, and how they're way too small for their intended purpose of being vomited in. I mean, most people have an um, more powerful vomit reflex than what the size of that little bedpan could handle! One of my friends related on how she had to warn the medical staff to get her something bigger or else, but they said that was the only size they have for those things, and don't worry, they'll just clean up the extra that misses. I know if I had to barf into one of those things, it would go all over the place. They need to make some more industrial-sized ones, LOL.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: StarDrifter on June 12, 2010, 02:50:42 AM
After reading some of Vorbau's stories, mine is actually pretty tame.

When I moved from Melbourne to central Victoria (about 2 hours in a truck) I made it my personal mission to have my refrigerator entirely cleaned out the day before the movers arrived. I was living with a room-mate at the time and I was leaving the house while she stayed in Melbourne.

So in the weeks leading up to the move I made sure I used everything in my fridge (which has a red door- this is important) was used except for about a half-litre of milk, which I was planning on using for my breakfast on moving day.

I had everything packed up, and had double-checked that my little red fridge was empty, unplugged and pulled away from the wall.

I was going to be at work while the movers picked up my things, so I had clearly told them that the RED fridge was mine. I left for work at 8AM.

What I didn't count on was my room-mate (who, looking back, was a bit of an SS) deciding that when she got home from work at 10AM, after I had left for the day, she would put her groceries away, and what didn't fit into her tiny little bar-fridge would just go into my bigger one 'for a little while'.

I had told the movers that my fridge was empty. My room-mate knew I was moving away THAT DAY and would NOT be returning.

-side note- I have spoken to the room-mate in question precisely twice since this incident, so I still am not sure if it was done with malicious intent or not-

So the movers taped the fridge up at around 11AM and put it in the truck, then drove it to my parents house 200ks away, where it got put into the shed, still taped up, as my new house wouldn't be available for another week and a half.

So for two weeks in an Australian February (think 36-42 degrees celsius as an average daily temperature, I think that's about 95-110 farenheit) the little red refrigerator sat inside a hot tin shed, with what my ex-room-mate had put in there inside it.

When I opened that shiny red door *two weeks later* I discovered two bags of black 'something'. I have no idea what it was when it went in, but when it came out it was black sludge that made me gag, and worse, one of the bags split open as I took it out, and went everywhere inside the unit, all over the lino in my new house and under a section of the cabinets.

Took me two weeks to have the smell entirely gone from the kitchen, and I decided that no matter how cute a red refrigerator is, it wasn't worth the icky memory.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Dazi on June 12, 2010, 05:42:14 AM
After reading some of Vorbau's stories, mine is actually pretty tame.

When I moved from Melbourne to central Victoria (about 2 hours in a truck) I made it my personal mission to have my refrigerator entirely cleaned out the day before the movers arrived. I was living with a room-mate at the time and I was leaving the house while she stayed in Melbourne.

So in the weeks leading up to the move I made sure I used everything in my fridge (which has a red door- this is important) was used except for about a half-litre of milk, which I was planning on using for my breakfast on moving day.

I had everything packed up, and had double-checked that my little red fridge was empty, unplugged and pulled away from the wall.

I was going to be at work while the movers picked up my things, so I had clearly told them that the RED fridge was mine. I left for work at 8AM.

What I didn't count on was my room-mate (who, looking back, was a bit of an SS) deciding that when she got home from work at 10AM, after I had left for the day, she would put her groceries away, and what didn't fit into her tiny little bar-fridge would just go into my bigger one 'for a little while'.

I had told the movers that my fridge was empty. My room-mate knew I was moving away THAT DAY and would NOT be returning.

-side note- I have spoken to the room-mate in question precisely twice since this incident, so I still am not sure if it was done with malicious intent or not-

So the movers taped the fridge up at around 11AM and put it in the truck, then drove it to my parents house 200ks away, where it got put into the shed, still taped up, as my new house wouldn't be available for another week and a half.

So for two weeks in an Australian February (think 36-42 degrees celsius as an average daily temperature, I think that's about 95-110 farenheit) the little red refrigerator sat inside a hot tin shed, with what my ex-room-mate had put in there inside it.

When I opened that shiny red door *two weeks later* I discovered two bags of black 'something'. I have no idea what it was when it went in, but when it came out it was black sludge that made me gag, and worse, one of the bags split open as I took it out, and went everywhere inside the unit, all over the lino in my new house and under a section of the cabinets.

Took me two weeks to have the smell entirely gone from the kitchen, and I decided that no matter how cute a red refrigerator is, it wasn't worth the icky memory.
Stories like that are why I bought a new refrigerator when I moved :).
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Ambrosia Hino on June 12, 2010, 12:33:09 PM
I feel sorry for whoever cleaned my old apartment when I moved out. I had made sure that all of my groceries & food were moved to DH's place, but my roomie decided to skip out a week early (stealing several of my belongings) and left the fridge full of food (milk, ice cream, etc.). When she left, she had the electricity swapped over to her new apartment, leaving me to finish moving out with no power.

A) When there is no power to the unit, you cannot expect someone to keep their end of the deal to vacuum and clean the carpets before they leave. We just barely finished loading the u-haul as the sun was setting anyways.

B) If you leave food in a fridge, then get the power shut off, do not expect someone else to be willing to "take care of it"

C) the above are especially true when the person you want to do these things is filing a police report on you for stolen property

I did not come back to help clean, and I flat out refused to pay what the complex was trying to charge for it. I gave them her number instead (she hadn't left a forwarding address) and when she tried to call me, I reminded her that I was jobless and that she was a thief, so no, I was not going to split the $600 charge with her
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: VorFemme on June 12, 2010, 07:56:15 PM
And she asked for the ex-roomie to PAY for the stolen property - do I have to tell you all that there was no money sent to her?   Nope?  Didn't think so............

Why did I hear about it?  Because some of the property in question was a gift from her parents that she really wanted to keep (clothes washer & dryer - I forget what else was involved now).  Ex-roomie later tried to "reconnect as friends" and wondered why Ambrosia Hino was so cool toward that idea............ ::)
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Ambrosia Hino on June 14, 2010, 05:47:55 AM
And she asked for the ex-roomie to PAY for the stolen property - do I have to tell you all that there was no money sent to her?   Nope?  Didn't think so............

Why did I hear about it?  Because some of the property in question was a gift from her parents that she really wanted to keep (clothes washer & dryer - I forget what else was involved now).  Ex-roomie later tried to "reconnect as friends" and wondered why Ambrosia Hino was so cool toward that idea............ ::)

she just recently tried "friending" me on Facebook too...
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: VorFemme on June 14, 2010, 07:46:26 PM
And she asked for the ex-roomie to PAY for the stolen property - do I have to tell you all that there was no money sent to her?   Nope?  Didn't think so............

Why did I hear about it?  Because some of the property in question was a gift from her parents that she really wanted to keep (clothes washer & dryer - I forget what else was involved now).  Ex-roomie later tried to "reconnect as friends" and wondered why Ambrosia Hino was so cool toward that idea............ ::)

she just recently tried "friending" me on Facebook too...

Terminally clueless, it's the only explanation............
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: alegria on June 14, 2010, 10:26:24 PM
I read the entire thread over the past few days.  God bless whoever posted the dogs in elk story, I laughed until I cried.   ;D
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: kitty_ev on June 15, 2010, 08:08:00 AM
I read the entire thread over the past few days.  God bless whoever posted the dogs in elk story, I laughed until I cried.   ;D

Me too.  ;D

Then I read it out to my fiance and he did as well.

Unfortunately it added to his anti-pet dog stance rather than my own pro-pet dog stance, but never mind. This is despite my insistence that there is no elk hunting in Leeds!
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: kingsrings on July 02, 2010, 01:24:26 PM
In my town, who ever is supposed to remove animal road kill (animal control?? I don’t know) hasn’t been doing their job lately. Maybe it’s budget cuts or something. As I drive about town, I keep seeing road kill that has been there a good long time, and is getting grosser by the day. A dead dog has been lying on a median on my work commute for about two weeks now, and his little body is just getting more baked by the daily heat, and appears to now be starting to disintegrate and “crack open” as well. I thought he would be removed right away, because I saw a collar around his neck, which usually signifies that it’s someone’s pet, but I guess not. I can understand not being able to get to the job of cleaning up road kill for a little bit, but not at all now?? Yuck, yuck, yuck… And being a pet/animal lover, it's emotionally hard to see that, too.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Bexx27 on July 02, 2010, 01:41:01 PM
In my town, who ever is supposed to remove animal road kill (animal control?? I don’t know) hasn’t been doing their job lately. Maybe it’s budget cuts or something. As I drive about town, I keep seeing road kill that has been there a good long time, and is getting grosser by the day. A dead dog has been lying on a median on my work commute for about two weeks now, and his little body is just getting more baked by the daily heat, and appears to now be starting to disintegrate and “crack open” as well. I thought he would be removed right away, because I saw a collar around his neck, which usually signifies that it’s someone’s pet, but I guess not. I can understand not being able to get to the job of cleaning up road kill for a little bit, but not at all now?? Yuck, yuck, yuck… And being a pet/animal lover, it's emotionally hard to see that, too.

Please call animal control about this. I'm sure the dog's owners are looking for him. I know that in my county, animal control is responsible for disposing of roadkill; however, they do not have the resources to have an officer just drive around looking for dead animals. Members of the public call, and an officer is dispatched.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: kingsrings on July 02, 2010, 02:26:29 PM
I didn't know that. But wouldn't the owners have ound him by now if they were out there looking? He's been on that road for two weeks now, it seems they would of been driving around and would of found him. I will call though anyway just to have him removed at least.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: DangerMouth on July 02, 2010, 03:07:51 PM
I didn't know that. But wouldn't the owners have ound him by now if they were out there looking? He's been on that road for two weeks now, it seems they would of been driving around and would of found him. I will call though anyway just to have him removed at least.

You really don't know how far that animal is from home. If my pet went missing, I might scour the blocks close to home, but it wouldn't occur to me to go looking on a hiway maybe miles from my home.

Particularly as you know the animal has a collar (and so may have a tag), I'd call AC (or maybe just pull over and take a look myself).
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Nora on July 02, 2010, 03:29:08 PM
In my town, who ever is supposed to remove animal road kill (animal control?? I don’t know) hasn’t been doing their job lately. Maybe it’s budget cuts or something. As I drive about town, I keep seeing road kill that has been there a good long time, and is getting grosser by the day. A dead dog has been lying on a median on my work commute for about two weeks now, and his little body is just getting more baked by the daily heat, and appears to now be starting to disintegrate and “crack open” as well. I thought he would be removed right away, because I saw a collar around his neck, which usually signifies that it’s someone’s pet, but I guess not. I can understand not being able to get to the job of cleaning up road kill for a little bit, but not at all now?? Yuck, yuck, yuck… And being a pet/animal lover, it's emotionally hard to see that, too.

Saddest post EVER!  :-[
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: kingsrings on July 02, 2010, 03:29:37 PM
He was in the median, so I couldn't really pull over. And I definitely wouldn't want to investigate him now given how icky he is!! I did call AC today and report it, so he should be cleaned off of there soon.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Sneezy on July 05, 2010, 12:02:33 AM
This morning, I noticed my cat had overeaten (or eaten too fast, I'm not sure exactly what his problem is) and then experienced consequences of said overeating.

I went to get some paper towels and disinfectant spray to clean up the mess.  By the time I got back, it was gone.  The cat was near by, licking it's face the way they do just after they've eaten something... :-X

One of my cats has suffered from irritable bowel and pancreatic insufficiency (if anyone has any advice on treatment in addition to the enzymes and steroids, PM me!) for the past six years.  I rarely have to clean up the other cats' puke, since she will happily devour it.  I have no idea if it's easier for her to digest or what, but it's still gross.

I once lived with a cat who refused to step in litter.  To use the box, he would perch on it with three legs on the rim of the box with one foot on the floor in front for balance with this butt hanging over the box.  This worked well, as long as there was enough litter in the box.  Otherwise, the box would tip over on top of him, which was quite funny, but rather gross and annoying to the poor cat.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Enigmatism on July 05, 2010, 08:11:30 AM
I read the entire thread over the past few days.  God bless whoever posted the dogs in elk story, I laughed until I cried.   ;D

Me too.  ;D

Then I read it out to my fiance and he did as well.

Unfortunately it added to his anti-pet dog stance rather than my own pro-pet dog stance, but never mind. This is despite my insistence that there is no elk hunting in Leeds!

There's always the possibility that it could come home with a Rhino!  ;)
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: little bird on July 05, 2010, 11:48:56 PM

Oh lord, what DOES it say about me that I have just read through this ENTIRE thread while eating (seafood, funnily enough, but salmon not crab) without feeling even the tiniest bit sick?  Actually, I've been cackling like mad the whole time (with DF shrieking "no, don't tell me, I don't want to know" in the background).  I would not be surprised if he decides that enough is enough and runs off before the wedding. 
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Pinky830 on July 07, 2010, 09:03:35 PM
Maggots. At work today. I don't want to write the details, and you don't want to hear them.  ;D
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Bellantara on July 08, 2010, 05:17:15 PM
Maggots. At work today. I don't want to write the details, and you don't want to hear them.  ;D

You had me at "maggots".  :-X
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: hot_shaker on July 08, 2010, 05:17:55 PM
Maggots. At work today. I don't want to write the details, and you don't want to hear them.  ;D

Apparently, you don't know us very well.  ;)
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Mrs.E on July 08, 2010, 05:50:51 PM
Maggots. At work today. I don't want to write the details, and you don't want to hear them.  ;D

Apparently, you don't know us very well.  ;)

Nope, I guess she doesn't!
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: hobish on July 08, 2010, 05:57:20 PM
After reading some of Vorbau's stories, mine is actually pretty tame.

When I moved from Melbourne to central Victoria (about 2 hours in a truck) I made it my personal mission to have my refrigerator entirely cleaned out the day before the movers arrived. I was living with a room-mate at the time and I was leaving the house while she stayed in Melbourne.

So in the weeks leading up to the move I made sure I used everything in my fridge (which has a red door- this is important) was used except for about a half-litre of milk, which I was planning on using for my breakfast on moving day.

I had everything packed up, and had double-checked that my little red fridge was empty, unplugged and pulled away from the wall.

I was going to be at work while the movers picked up my things, so I had clearly told them that the RED fridge was mine. I left for work at 8AM.

What I didn't count on was my room-mate (who, looking back, was a bit of an SS) deciding that when she got home from work at 10AM, after I had left for the day, she would put her groceries away, and what didn't fit into her tiny little bar-fridge would just go into my bigger one 'for a little while'.

I had told the movers that my fridge was empty. My room-mate knew I was moving away THAT DAY and would NOT be returning.

-side note- I have spoken to the room-mate in question precisely twice since this incident, so I still am not sure if it was done with malicious intent or not-

So the movers taped the fridge up at around 11AM and put it in the truck, then drove it to my parents house 200ks away, where it got put into the shed, still taped up, as my new house wouldn't be available for another week and a half.

So for two weeks in an Australian February (think 36-42 degrees celsius as an average daily temperature, I think that's about 95-110 farenheit) the little red refrigerator sat inside a hot tin shed, with what my ex-room-mate had put in there inside it.

When I opened that shiny red door *two weeks later* I discovered two bags of black 'something'. I have no idea what it was when it went in, but when it came out it was black sludge that made me gag, and worse, one of the bags split open as I took it out, and went everywhere inside the unit, all over the lino in my new house and under a section of the cabinets.

Took me two weeks to have the smell entirely gone from the kitchen, and I decided that no matter how cute a red refrigerator is, it wasn't worth the icky memory.
Stories like that are why I bought a new refrigerator when I moved :).

I am likely to need one soon and these fridge stories are why i am starting to think new may be better than used after all. I can now imagine why those refrigerators on Craigslist may be for sale.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Suze on July 08, 2010, 05:58:59 PM
how about a "not quite maggots" story?

will that tide you over?

one time at work we decided to get pizza for lunch break - we worked 2nd shift - lunch was after pizza places closed.

so one of us would go get a pizza and leave it sit out till lunchtime. (In it's closed box - no fridge at work)

one night we were halfway through the pizza when we realized there were FLY EGGS all over it.

I don't "think" I ate any

but that was the last time we did that number.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: hobish on July 08, 2010, 06:00:55 PM
I read the entire thread over the past few days.  God bless whoever posted the dogs in elk story, I laughed until I cried.   ;D

Oh, thank you! I was trying to remember if i had first heard that here.
Great story!
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Pinky830 on July 08, 2010, 07:04:48 PM
Maggots. At work today. I don't want to write the details, and you don't want to hear them.  ;D

Apparently, you don't know us very well.  ;)

Nope, I guess she doesn't!

Fine, y'all asked for it.  ;) 13 year old cat that lived outside, had been sitting around more for a couple of days. Poor thing had probably gone into kidney failure or something and just hadn't moved around much. From the prolonged contact with the ground, outside in Georgia in July, flies had laid eggs, and by the time I saw her, both orifices on her rear, plus a couple of new ones, were writhing with maggots. Truly, a sight straight out of a horror movie.

We euthanized the poor thing.

We were all sort of drawing a breath and thinking now would be a great time for a nice lunch break, when someone came flying in with a dog who was having trouble breathing. Turned out it was bleeding into its lungs, apparently from eating rat poison several days ago. THAT one we saved.  :)
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: hot_shaker on July 08, 2010, 08:01:40 PM
Fine, y'all asked for it.  ;) 13 year old cat that lived outside, had been sitting around more for a couple of days. Poor thing had probably gone into kidney failure or something and just hadn't moved around much. From the prolonged contact with the ground, outside in Georgia in July, flies had laid eggs, and by the time I saw her, both orifices on her rear, plus a couple of new ones, were writhing with maggots. Truly, a sight straight out of a horror movie.

We euthanized the poor thing.

Aww, that just made me sad.  Poor kitty . . . :'(
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Elfmama on July 08, 2010, 08:10:33 PM
I want to know where all of you tent caterpillar/cicada people live, so I can never ever go there. ::shudders::

I was in Northern Virginia. 

I think the caterpillars were a temporary thing.  I think they may have been an invasive species; I remember lots of spraying and trying to block the caterpillars from climbing up into the branches where the leaves were.
That would have been 1990.  HUGE infestation in the NOVA/MD area, not tent caterpillars but gypsy moth caterpillars.  You would go out to the car and have to hose off the windshield because it was covered with green caterpillar poop.  The car's windshield washers were totally unable to handle it.  The car washes were working non-stop.  We had to buy this sticky yellow goo and paint all the tree trunks in the yard in an effort to reduce the damage to the trees.  We couldn't let our puppy out in the yard unattended, or she would eat them and then throw up.  The state squeezed out enough money to spray for them the next couple of years, a bacterium that kills the caterpillars right after they break out of the egg.  Haven't had a problem since, knock on wood.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: HermioneGranger on July 09, 2010, 02:45:31 PM
I want to know where all of you tent caterpillar/cicada people live, so I can never ever go there. ::shudders::

I was in Northern Virginia. 

I think the caterpillars were a temporary thing.  I think they may have been an invasive species; I remember lots of spraying and trying to block the caterpillars from climbing up into the branches where the leaves were.

The cicadas are cyclical so it's not something to worry about every year.  However, I will be avoiding the DC area come 2021.

(shudder) They were awful back in 2004.  You couldn't walk outside without either stepping on them or having them attach themselves to your clothes.   :-X
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: LadyClaire on July 10, 2010, 06:24:09 PM
Somewhat gross story from a couple of years ago.

DF's dad used to work for a small locally owned water company, driving one of those big water trucks to fill cisterns. The company he worked for also offered a cistern cleaning service, and DF would sometimes help his father clean cisterns for some extra cash.

One customer was complaining that the water coming out of his faucets smelled bad, and that his wife kept getting sick. So the next time his cistern was close to empty, DF and his dad went to clean it out.

The thing with cisterns is that most of them are big holes in the ground with some sort of lid, though some have an opening to catch rainfall and use it as another means of water preservation.

It had been a very, very dry spring, and an even hotter and drier summer, and the creeks were dried up and most of the ponds had dried up, too. So a lot of wild animals were pretty desperate for water. The particular cistern that they were going to clean had not been very well maintained, and did have a small opening from a break in the lid.

When DF got down into the cistern, he found..a very dead, very rotten, very large raccoon. That had been why the water had been bad, and smelled, and was making the guy's wife sick. The raccoon must've fallen into the cistern through the opening when it was searching for water, and couldn't get back out again.

DF said it was the nastiest thing he'd personally encountered in a cistern. He's also found dead rats and snakes in cisterns before, but the giant raccoon sort of took the cake.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: CuriousGeorge on July 10, 2010, 07:50:47 PM
I had clinic this morning at work and I brought my new kitten in to be looked at (I work at a vet's office).

We got her last night and were told that she'd been dewormed twice; along with a few other initial shots.  Apparently, however, the dewormer she was given did not address tapeworms.

We found this out when she pooped in her carrier (right before I was leaving).  Poop full of living, mobile tapeworm proglottids.  I couldn't decide if I was more disgusted or more fascinated.  I think I decided it was 50/50.

Side note: she's now been dewormed for tapeworms and is yelling at me through the bathroom door.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Lysistrata on July 11, 2010, 02:09:58 AM
Ah, that reminds me of when we got our dachshund/chihuahua mix puppy. We discovered that she needed to be dewormed after she had an accident in the house and I saw the little nasty things moving around when I cleaned up after her. Then, a day or so before her appointment, I was holding her and when she went to get down, there was a worm on my arm, waving its gross little head(?) around. I must have washed that arm 10 times or more. Yuck.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Spring Water on Sundays on July 11, 2010, 01:14:42 PM
When my parents were newly married, they got an adorable little black lab puppy. Once shortly after they brought the puppy home, after the puppy went outside, my mom looked in her enclosure and she saw that it was full of little broken white rubberbands. She's picking them up, thinking how weird it is that there are little broken white rubberbands in the puppy's enclosure. When my dad got home from work she told him about the rubberbands and he realized what she was talking about. Yeah, those weren't rubberbands. It turned out the poor puppy was so full of worms that they were crawling out of the most accessible exit (the one found on the back of puppies) and then dying. And my mom had been picking them up with her bare hands.

Puppy immediately received the proper treatment and lived a long happy life. :)
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Ambrosia Hino on July 12, 2010, 05:51:50 AM
From what my vet told me, most standard deworming treatments don't include tapeworms. they also don't usually show up in the normal, umm, sample they take for worms. You pretty much have to see the little white wriggly thing.

I had an ongoing tapeworm issue with my cats, about 2 years ago, because our house had a major flea infestation. Every month, both cats got treated for fleas. At least once a month, sometimes twice, the local exterminating company would come spray inside for fleas (kitties went to the garage, we went to a movie, until it was safe to come back in). We sprayed sevindust all over the front yard.

Every 2 months, I dropped by the vet's office to pick up more tapeworm dewormer. Because, apparently, tapeworms come from eating fleas. It took roughly 18 months to get mostly rid of the fleas.

Here's the funny part...both cats were inside only. Our dogs are outside only, and didn't have fleas or worms (well, they did as puppies, but those were long gone). ???
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: CuriousGeorge on July 12, 2010, 08:16:41 AM
Ah, that reminds me of when we got our dachshund/chihuahua mix puppy. We discovered that she needed to be dewormed after she had an accident in the house and I saw the little nasty things moving around when I cleaned up after her. Then, a day or so before her appointment, I was holding her and when she went to get down, there was a worm on my arm, waving its gross little head(?) around. I must have washed that arm 10 times or more. Yuck.

I just full-body-shivered and dry-heaved at the same time.   ;)
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Outdoor Girl on July 12, 2010, 09:47:23 AM
My Mom was a nurse, trained in the early 50's.  She told us about the treatment for tapeworm in humans before there were drugs to kill them.

I'm going to spoiler this because it is really gross:  You starved the patient, and thus the tapeworm, for a few days.  Then you held a piece of meat in front of the patient's open mouth.  The starving tapeworm would come up the patient's esophogus and out the mouth, grabbing onto the meat.  The nurse then had to carefully draw the tapeworm out of the patient.  Mom said the longest one she'd heard about was close to 20 ft long!
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: hot_shaker on July 12, 2010, 10:02:52 AM
Wait, how does that work?  Can the tapeworm smell the meat all the way from the stomach?  ???
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Outdoor Girl on July 12, 2010, 10:05:09 AM
That's what she said.  I don't think she was having one over on us; she wasn't the type.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: hot_shaker on July 12, 2010, 10:21:49 AM
Well, now I need to research the tapeworm's sense of smell because that's pretty impressive.  :D  Or, maybe the presence of food triggered a reflex in the patient (salivation, etc.) that the worm picks up on.  Hmm . ..

Also, just to be clear, I'm not doubting your Mom's word or anything I just think that's fascinating.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: CuriousGeorge on July 12, 2010, 10:24:47 AM
Wait, how does that work?  Can the tapeworm smell the meat all the way from the stomach?  ???

I think that's the legend, however, I could have sworn I'd read about it on Snopes before.  I just checked and the article on tapeworm removal doesn't really go into much detail on that specific technique.  Also, the article itself is labeled "Undetermined".
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Outdoor Girl on July 12, 2010, 12:01:32 PM
The way my Mom talked, she'd actually performed the procedure.

And I'm quite sure she'd never heard of Snopes.   ;D

hot_shaker, no worries.  I wasn't offended...

I also think it is fascinating.  But other people with me when Mom started talking about it were so squicked out, we didn't get much more detail, no matter how much my brother and I wanted to hear it.  He and I weren't grossed out by stuff like that.  My Dad does taxidermy, mostly fish, as a hobby.  Growing up, when he was skinning a fish, it was a bit of show and tell for us to get to see what was in the stomach of said fish.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: StarDrifter on July 12, 2010, 09:31:19 PM
re: the tapeworm thing, I've seen it done, but not a human, a horse.

A friend of mine had a horse that had been eating and eating and eating and not gaining any weight, so she got the parasite tests done and yep, the ultrasound showed a big tapeworm in the horse's gullet. She didn't want to use any chemical de-wormers because she was an organic farmer and used the horse's poop for her manure, so she used the old technique.

So they had to starve the poor thing for three days (he nearly kicked his stall down, so frustrated, darling beast) then they got some raw steak and put it in front of him. The horse didn't like the smell of the meat, but apparently the worm did, came up and out the horse's mouth and latched onto the piece of steak.

It was five metres (fifteen feet) long. Can't believe I didn't think of that before now for this thread... I gagged more than a little watching it come up.

The horse was fine, btw, cantering about that very afternoon.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Miss Vertigo on July 13, 2010, 06:14:50 AM
This tapeworm stuff is fast rivalling Kingsrings' "Exploding Old Lady"* story for the title of grossest thing on this thread... it's like something out of a horror movie!

*totally worth trawling back through the thread for, if you didn't see it first time around.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: hot_shaker on July 13, 2010, 06:18:33 AM
This tapeworm stuff is fast rivalling Kingsrings' "Exploding Old Lady"* story for the title of grossest thing on this thread... it's like something out of a horror movie!

*totally worth trawling back through the thread for, if you didn't see it first time around.

Here's the post: http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=6622.msg836472#msg836472
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Miss Vertigo on July 13, 2010, 06:22:39 AM
This tapeworm stuff is fast rivalling Kingsrings' "Exploding Old Lady"* story for the title of grossest thing on this thread... it's like something out of a horror movie!

*totally worth trawling back through the thread for, if you didn't see it first time around.

Here's the post: http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=6622.msg836472#msg836472

Ahaha!! Thank you!

Also: Ewwww. Still epically gross months later.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: kitty-cat on July 13, 2010, 06:28:18 AM
When am I gonna learn to put the food away when I'm reading this thread? When??
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: mechtilde on July 13, 2010, 07:20:07 AM
When am I gonna learn to put the food away when I'm reading this thread? When??

When we have become sufficiently gross. Clearly we have not yet reached that point!   ;)
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: kingsrings on July 13, 2010, 10:35:45 AM
 >:D I aim to please. And again, I'm still very, very thankful that this particular incident happened on my day off....
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: jayhawk on July 13, 2010, 12:08:18 PM
Apparently I did miss that one the first time through!  I can't believe she survived that.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Petticoats on July 14, 2010, 10:56:11 AM
Ah, that reminds me of when we got our dachshund/chihuahua mix puppy. We discovered that she needed to be dewormed after she had an accident in the house and I saw the little nasty things moving around when I cleaned up after her. Then, a day or so before her appointment, I was holding her and when she went to get down, there was a worm on my arm, waving its gross little head(?) around. I must have washed that arm 10 times or more. Yuck.

The worm is definitely nasty, but I think that a chihuahua/dachshund mix puppy must be about the cutest creature in the world. :) I hope she recovered fully!
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: kitty-cat on July 14, 2010, 11:51:24 AM
Ah, that reminds me of when we got our dachshund/chihuahua mix puppy. We discovered that she needed to be dewormed after she had an accident in the house and I saw the little nasty things moving around when I cleaned up after her. Then, a day or so before her appointment, I was holding her and when she went to get down, there was a worm on my arm, waving its gross little head(?) around. I must have washed that arm 10 times or more. Yuck.

The worm is definitely nasty, but I think that a chihuahua/dachshund mix puppy must be about the cutest creature in the world. :) I hope she recovered fully!

Totally OT, but they are :D We have a Chaweenie and he was the cutest thing as a puppy, and now that he's about a 2 years or so old, he is the sweetest thing on the face of the earth  :-*
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: amylouky on July 14, 2010, 03:07:13 PM
Okay, got a couple.. one mine, one is my cousin's story, but she doesn't post here, so..

Mine: I used to have a habit of leaving half-full 20 oz bottles of my soft drink on the counter (since I don't always drink them cold). I generally don't finish 20 oz at one sitting, so it wasn't uncommon to find a diet Coke or Mt Dew sitting on my kitchen counter.
That habit died very quickly when I got up one night to get something to drink because I was coughing. I didn't turn on the kitchen light, and vaguely saw in the dim light a 20 oz bottle on the counter. Figuring it was my coke from earlier, I picked it up and took a swig of... MY COUSIN'S BF'S DIP SPIT. They'd been over earlier and he'd been chewing tobacco and using an empty bottle to spit in.
I immediately threw up, and had quite the interesting conversation with my mortified cousin the next day.

Cousin (yes, dipspit's now wife): Cousin works as a nurse in a long-term hospital ward. Not a nursing home, but many of their patients are bedridden due to medical problems, sometimes for long periods of time. They have the airbeds that inflate/deflate periodically to shift the patients and prevent bedsores. So.. one day cousin went into her patient's room to check on them, and heard an odd hissing/bubbling sound. Then noticed an awful smell..
When she pulled back the patient's sheet, it revealed that not only had the patient unfortunately suffered a really nasty bout of diarrhea.. the bed had also sprung an air leak. She described it as a "sh*t jacuzzi".  I nearly peed on myself when she told me this one.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: magicdomino on July 14, 2010, 03:18:27 PM
Off-topic, but I like the name "dipspit."   >:D
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: 2littlemonkeys on July 14, 2010, 03:20:07 PM
I somehow missed the exploding lady story too.   :-X

One of our cats had worms and the barfed one up right in front of me.  I then had the pleasure of picking it up (not with bare hands) and depositing it into a plastic bag and then another plastic bag before storing it in the freezer until I could take her to the vet.

It was pretty gross.

I have heard the "waving the meat" method of tapeworm removal.  Urp.  I'd hate to be the poor sap who was having it removed.  "I'll take all the anesthesia you have, thank you."

Amylouky, some friends in college used to dip.  My roommate and I lost some bet and had to clean their room.  We must have found 10 bottles of dipspit.  It was nasty.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Stormtreader on July 14, 2010, 04:08:01 PM

I have heard the "waving the meat" method of tapeworm removal.  Urp.  I'd hate to be the poor sap who was having it removed.  "I'll take all the anesthesia you have, thank you."


See, theres no way Id want to be anaesthatised for that - the starving bit would suck but I think Id find seeing the actual tapeworm appear too fascinating to miss. Then again, the 'tapeworm diet' sounds far more tempting to me than weird dieting drugs so I guess Im just odd :D

Dont they usually attach to your intestines though? How do they make their way past the stomach valves and stuff to come up your throat?
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: hot_shaker on July 14, 2010, 06:56:13 PM
Dont they usually attach to your intestines though? How do they make their way past the stomach valves and stuff to come up your throat?

See, inquiring minds want to know!  Where's a physician when you need one?

Also, I will have you people know that I dreamt that a co-worker had a tapeworm and I had to take her to the doctor.  They used the meat-waving method to extract the little bugger.  Fortunately, it was a very small worm.  (The dream them progressed to viewing the wedding of a pair of Little People and the groom becoming very belligerent and yelling and throwing chairs.  It was an odd night.)
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Outdoor Girl on July 15, 2010, 07:49:31 AM
I read a story once, which is likely urban legend, about a guy who didn't want to worry about anything he ate giving him intestinal distress while on holiday in India.

So he purposely swallowed a tape worm, ate to his heart's content and took the medication to kill it when he got back home.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: JonGirl on July 15, 2010, 08:27:01 AM


EWWW!  :-X
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Elfmama on July 15, 2010, 01:28:04 PM
Google "tapeworm diet".   :-X  (Is a barfing smiley OK here, or too much for sensitive readers?)
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Pinky830 on July 15, 2010, 04:11:25 PM
Hey, guess what? If your dog eats a bag of paintballs, and you have to induce vomiting, they will not come back up as blue, red, and yellow splotches. It all combines into bright green. Really interesting.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: snowfire on July 15, 2010, 09:09:06 PM
(http://bestsmileys.com/lol/5.gif)

I hope you were not standing right in front of him when you discovered this!  ;D
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Micah on July 16, 2010, 05:44:57 AM
I read a story once, which is likely urban legend, about a guy who didn't want to worry about anything he ate giving him intestinal distress while on holiday in India.

So he purposely swallowed a tape worm, ate to his heart's content and took the medication to kill it when he got back home.

I want to know where you get a tapeworm from. I mean it's not the sort of thing you wander down the the corner shop and purchase.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Ambrosia Hino on July 16, 2010, 05:48:34 AM
Google "tapeworm diet".   :-X  (Is a barfing smiley OK here, or too much for sensitive readers?)

I would be surprised if any sensitive readers made it this far...LOL!
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Pinky830 on July 16, 2010, 07:32:10 AM
(http://bestsmileys.com/lol/5.gif)

I hope you were not standing right in front of him when you discovered this!  ;D

No, I was several feet away as she yacked in her cage (at work). But I did discover on the way home that the peroxide I gave her before I took her to work had actually been a partial success, and there was bright green hurl on my car seat.  ::)
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Nora on July 16, 2010, 07:42:37 AM
I read a story once, which is likely urban legend, about a guy who didn't want to worry about anything he ate giving him intestinal distress while on holiday in India.

So he purposely swallowed a tape worm, ate to his heart's content and took the medication to kill it when he got back home.

I want to know where you get a tapeworm from. I mean it's not the sort of thing you wander down the the corner shop and purchase.

You can order a tablet containing a wormhead (?) on the net. For diet purposes. For insane people.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Stormtreader on July 16, 2010, 08:08:53 AM

You can order a tablet containing a wormhead (?) on the net. For diet purposes. For insane people.

*Is* it that insane really? Tbh, it sounds quite tempting to me - surely a vitamin tablet would make up for the other nutrients that it would take along with the calories? Is it really worse than a fasting diet for example?
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: LadyClaire on July 16, 2010, 08:40:30 AM

You can order a tablet containing a wormhead (?) on the net. For diet purposes. For insane people.

*Is* it that insane really? Tbh, it sounds quite tempting to me - surely a vitamin tablet would make up for the other nutrients that it would take along with the calories? Is it really worse than a fasting diet for example?

I dunno. It's the whole "long wriggly parasite feasting while coiled amongst my internal organs" bit that bothers me. I think I'd rather just not eat than eat everything knowing that I was eating for two.

Though it would make for an interesting conversation. "You're losing so much weight, but you're eating everything! What's your secret??" "I deliberately ingested a tapeworm and it's taking care of the weight gain thing for me. Gee, I think I'll go have another slice of pie!"
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: magicdomino on July 16, 2010, 10:11:14 AM

You can order a tablet containing a wormhead (?) on the net. For diet purposes. For insane people.

*Is* it that insane really? Tbh, it sounds quite tempting to me - surely a vitamin tablet would make up for the other nutrients that it would take along with the calories? Is it really worse than a fasting diet for example?

So now we know the Real Hollywood Diet Secret.   ;)
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Pinky830 on July 16, 2010, 10:25:42 AM
Does it even work? Tapeworms in dogs don't cause any problems at all. We just treat them because they're gross. Do they know for sure that the tapeworm would make you lose weight?

Even if it did, it just seems like a terrible idea health wise. You would lose a lot of protein, and your immune system would definitely not be happy.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: VorFemme on July 16, 2010, 12:24:35 PM
I remember a tv medical show where someone had gotten the tapeworm in the mail to loose weight and "fit it" with the slender popular crowd.  She had medical issues - I forget if it was an allergic response or dietary deficiency problems - but they had to kill the tapeworm or she could die.  She was agonizing over not being able to fit into her new size 2 wardrobe anymore............instead of her parents having to watch her die from something treatable.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Unusual Banana on July 16, 2010, 02:49:03 PM
I Googled the tapeworm thing and found this patent (http://www.google.com/patents?id=0FVOAAAAEBAJ&printsec=drawing&zoom=4#v=onepage&q&f=false) for a tapeworm trap, which I find hilarious.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Nora on July 16, 2010, 04:38:06 PM
It is insane, because it will kill you. A vitamin tablet that the worm eats will not help you. It does not stop when you can't give anymore nutriens, it stops when you die. Seriously, bad idea. I regret I mentioned the tablets. Don't do that to your body.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Kimblee on July 16, 2010, 04:53:19 PM
I remember a tv medical show where someone had gotten the tapeworm in the mail to loose weight and "fit it" with the slender popular crowd.  She had medical issues - I forget if it was an allergic response or dietary deficiency problems - but they had to kill the tapeworm or she could die.  She was agonizing over not being able to fit into her new size 2 wardrobe anymore............instead of her parents having to watch her die from something treatable.

I think if I had managed, one way ior the other, to lose enough weight to be a size 2, i'd rather die thin than go back to my current weight.

I've been taunted and ridiculed for years for being over weight (and for the record, I am not even obese, just overweight.) and if I ever manage to shake this weight, i'd sooner die than have it back.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Micah on July 16, 2010, 05:31:48 PM
I Googled the tapeworm thing and found this patent (http://www.google.com/patents?id=0FVOAAAAEBAJ&printsec=drawing&zoom=4#v=onepage&q&f=false) for a tapeworm trap, which I find hilarious.

That is awesome! I'd say that would work better than the 'waving meat in front of mouth' method.

Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Eisa on July 16, 2010, 06:34:31 PM
I don't know how gross these all are, but I thought I'd write them down anyway!  :P

When I was 7, I got some kind of stomach virus. My parents gave me strawberry Ensure before we went to the doctor. Got there and the doctor actually told me that "you're not sick." I'd been throwing up all day and I'm not sick. What planet are you living on?! But then I got him back...I threw up all over his medicine counter. It was pink. Then had to run into the bathroom and alternately be sick from both ends for probably at least half an hour. Staggered back out and found out that they made my dad clean the mess up!  >:(

Let's see...lots of period-related messiness. I started my period when I was 10 or 11, and throughout my teen years, it was unbelievably heavy...and really messy. I would end up putting a pad on the normal way and then just completely padding out my underwear, PLUS wrapping it in toilet paper, and then it would still leak through all of that!  :o I remember being humiliated in my TLC class before because I stood up and saw a big red smear on the seat. I tried to clean it up, but there's only so much you can do without letting EVERYONE around you know what just happened.  :-\ There was also a time in sixth grade when I wore overalls. During gym, some boys were throwing stuff at me, but I didn't register it, or why they were doing it. Turns out they were throwing things at the giant red spot on my overalls since I'd leaked again.

I also learned to NEVER go anywhere without a pad. I went to summer camp once without anything because it wasn't due for several weeks. From stress or just pure evil of hormones, I got it that night. There's only so much you can do with toilet paper. Also, I took the ACTs one weekend at a different high school. My period wasn't due for a while. I got it in between sections. THAT is a lovely time...I at least had a pad with me, and didn't get blood everywhere [although my underwear was still quite stained], but have you ever tried to concentrate on a standardized test when you're cramping like a female dog? OUCH!

I think the last story is the grossest...although it could have been more gross [and it was before, when I had the stomach flu and threw up all over the carpet--fortunately, all I threw up then was sprite]. But...

Several months ago, I got the stomach flu. My mom had it before me, and she didn't have it that bad. Well, when *I* got it, it was AWFUL. I threw up so hard the first few times, it came out through my nose, too. That burns! I had to lie down the entire time, either IN the bathroom or just outside. I could not sit up, or I would throw up again. School was obviously out of the question.  :P [And I only had one class that day, anyway.] My stomach spasmed over 50 times. And then...when there was nothing left in my stomach...I threw up bile for another 4 hours. Do you know how disgusting that is? And how much it hurts? Then my mom came home. I begged her to take me to the doctor. Or at least call them and ask what to do for someone who can't even sit up they're throwing up so much, and who's thrown up bile for four hours. She called urgent care and asked what was good for nausea.  ::) And then told me I was over-reacting because SHE'D had it, too, and SHE didn't have it that bad. And then called me weird because I wanted a baby bottle to drink out of, so I didn't have to worry about knocking it over [that sounds like a good idea to me, at least...didn't get it, though]. It was just a 24-hour virus, but I can STILL remember how it felt to throw up bile constantly, and how much that burned my throat. My throat was raw for days.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Miss Vertigo on July 17, 2010, 07:15:52 AM
Because of this thread, I spent half an hour last night watching people on YouTube squeezing giant zits. Some of them were really impressive. Gross, yes. But it looked so satisfying.

It's a sickness, I think...
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: RegionMom on July 18, 2010, 11:45:46 PM
links, please?   >:D
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Sabbyfrog2 on July 19, 2010, 03:25:25 PM
Okay. I finally got to the end of this thread. It took me three weeks to finish reading it all. And all I have to say is...
You people are sick.



And I love you for it.  :P
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Ambrosia Hino on July 20, 2010, 06:21:24 AM
Because of this thread, I spent half an hour last night watching people on YouTube squeezing giant zits. Some of them were really impressive. Gross, yes. But it looked so satisfying.

It's a sickness, I think...

you know, this part is what squicked me out most on this entire thread. congratulations!
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: HeebyJeebyLeebee on July 20, 2010, 10:08:24 AM
Okay. I finally got to the end of this thread. It took me three weeks to finish reading it all. And all I have to say is...
You people are sick.



And I love you for it.  :P

Aw!  We love you too!
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Miss Vertigo on July 20, 2010, 11:10:29 AM
Because of this thread, I spent half an hour last night watching people on YouTube squeezing giant zits. Some of them were really impressive. Gross, yes. But it looked so satisfying.

It's a sickness, I think...

you know, this part is what squicked me out most on this entire thread. congratulations!

Heh. Do I win something?  ;D
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Miss Vertigo on July 20, 2010, 11:14:58 AM
links, please?   >:D

Do a YouTube search for "The Death Of Herman".

I can't bring myself to post the link, it's too gross  ;D

I cannot stress enough that it's important to not be eating whilst viewing this.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Ereine on July 20, 2010, 01:32:52 PM
I couldn't watch the whole killing of Herman, but I never knew that zits that gigantic even existed.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Bellantara on July 20, 2010, 01:36:24 PM
links, please?   >:D

Do a YouTube search for "The Death Of Herman".

I can't bring myself to post the link, it's too gross  ;D

I cannot stress enough that it's important to not be eating whilst viewing this.

I'm going to regret this, aren't I? *sigh*


ETA:  Yup.  Where's the puking smiley?? :-X
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: hermanne on July 20, 2010, 02:43:19 PM
links, please?   >:D

Do a YouTube search for "The Death Of Herman".

....

 :P :P :P
(Herman was my childhood nick-name.)
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Mrs.E on July 20, 2010, 08:56:38 PM
links, please?   >:D

Do a YouTube search for "The Death Of Herman".

I can't bring myself to post the link, it's too gross  ;D

I cannot stress enough that it's important to not be eating whilst viewing this.

I'm going to regret this, aren't I? *sigh*


ETA:  Yup.  Where's the puking smiley?? :-X

This one is worse...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v3jNCBe1VTY&feature=related
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: HermioneGranger on July 21, 2010, 01:27:51 PM
links, please?   >:D

Do a YouTube search for "The Death Of Herman".

I can't bring myself to post the link, it's too gross  ;D

I cannot stress enough that it's important to not be eating whilst viewing this.

I don't know which is worse: that I made it through the whole thing, or that I was eating lunch while I watched it.   >:D 
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: lovestoread on July 21, 2010, 02:08:06 PM
Posting for updates!
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: VorFemme on July 21, 2010, 02:45:26 PM
VorGuy hates needles near his back - he refused to let anyone touch his back in high school - five or six years later, in college, an encysted lump got hit with a water balloon at close range and ruptured the cyst wall.

I don't care how bad any of those wimps thought - it is going to smell worse later................

(edited).

He still refused to let me deal with a pimple on his back after graduation - the second encysted pimple was over fourteen years old when it was removed by a doctor who thought it might be a tumor (as it was close to his spine). 
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: hot_shaker on July 21, 2010, 07:02:17 PM
links, please?   >:D

Do a YouTube search for "The Death Of Herman".

I can't bring myself to post the link, it's too gross  ;D

I cannot stress enough that it's important to not be eating whilst viewing this.

I'm going to regret this, aren't I? *sigh*


ETA:  Yup.  Where's the puking smiley?? :-X

This one is worse...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v3jNCBe1VTY&feature=related

I'm more horrified than grossed out yet fascinated.  How can there be so much pus?  I feel like that required medical treatment for an infection.

I am pretty grossed out that she wasn't wearing gloves though.  I can look at gross things but I don't want to touch them with my bare hands!
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Suze on July 21, 2010, 07:06:06 PM
I've seen some of those vids before and it is not a "zit" to me

Looks a lot like either cellulitus (which I have had and had my face really swell up) or a sebacious cyst.

both can have massive amounts of "goo" in them.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Dazi on July 21, 2010, 07:11:00 PM
links, please?   >:D

Do a YouTube search for "The Death Of Herman".

I can't bring myself to post the link, it's too gross  ;D

I cannot stress enough that it's important to not be eating whilst viewing this.

I'm going to regret this, aren't I? *sigh*


ETA:  Yup.  Where's the puking smiley?? :-X

This one is worse...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v3jNCBe1VTY&feature=related

I'm more horrified than grossed out yet fascinated.  How can there be so much pus?  I feel like that required medical treatment for an infection.

I am pretty grossed out that she wasn't wearing gloves though.  I can look at gross things but I don't want to touch them with my bare hands!

Looks like a cyst not a zit.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Miss Vertigo on July 22, 2010, 07:38:29 AM
The worst one I ever saw on YT was of a guy squeezing what looked to be a cyst or something on the bottom half of his face. It really is the absolute grossest thing I've ever seen, ever. I'm not sure I can even bring myself to search for it.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Nora on July 22, 2010, 07:49:17 AM
I gagged. Why do I click on stuff like that? I must hate me.  :(
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Mrs.E on July 22, 2010, 09:19:27 AM
The bot fly ones are pretty gross as well.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: VorFemme on July 22, 2010, 12:11:20 PM
I agree - the "black head" video with women & "beauty" information looked like blackheads.  Some of the ones with guys looked like some kind of massive infection walled up behind a scab or something.  Because the stuff coming out did not look like a solidified oil plug..........unless they'd been bathing in crude oil.

I have been a teenager, I had younger siblings, I have had two kids - one of whom is still in his teens, and I have seen people with a tendency to ingrown hairs and/or sebaceous cysts.  What these videos were describing as "black heads", "zits", and "pimples"........well, something that is still has gunk coming out of it after four minutes (time on the video) is NOT a simple "pimple" and the person probably needs to see a doctor about their skin condition..........not a friend who has heated a needle or something in a candle flame.  That can't be "normal"...............

Thank deity or something, I didn't have any dreams of the four or five videos that I watched (horrified fascination - reminded me of the "train wreck" and the can't bear to watch but can't look away phenomenon). 

[hit post instead of spell check]

What can I say? 
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Paper Roses on July 24, 2010, 02:24:42 PM
Whoa.  I just came back to this thread after not reading it for a while, and all I can say is, well, I guess I can't say anything. 

I swear, sometimes I have to tie my hands down to keep from popping someone else's zits.  I mean, really, you just want to say, "Hey, how can you walk around like that?"  but I checked that last youtube link and I have to say, even I couldn't deal. 

I bow to you.


On another note, we went out to dinner last night, and I ordered a lobster dinner.  I happily started cracking my lovely seabug, and noticed a slightly "off" taste; didn't quite seem right.  I cracked the first claw and took out the meat.  It was undercooked.  Blech!!!

I told our waitress, and she was really awesome about it; she took it back to the kitchen.  A little later the manager came to our table and apologized, and said they were cooking up another one for me. 

After a while longer, she personally brought it to me - along with another entire dinner (brand new baked potato and corn on the cob, even though I had already eaten the ones from the first dinner).  How awesome was that?

But the point is, now, here it is the next day, and I can't get the taste and feeling of that undercooked lobster out of my head. 
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: White Dragon on July 25, 2010, 05:18:52 PM
I have read every post here (and contributed a few of my own) and can safely say that I have discovered my personal "squickness threshold."

My ST goes as far as being able to eat lunch during the tapeworm threads, but nearly losing it moments later during the "dipspit" post. (I couldn't even finish that post. Had to look away and cover my ears. Why my ears? I have no idea but it made my tummy feel better.)

I also did not open the zit videos. Usually I'm totally okay with oozing, but...not today.

So if there is "squickness scale", mine goes:

-mouse heads - squirrel puddles - exploding old ladies - tapeworms // dipspit - zits...etc
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Miss Vertigo on July 25, 2010, 05:56:23 PM
-mouse heads - squirrel puddles - exploding old ladies - tapeworms // dipspit - zits...etc

There's a sentence I bet you never thought you'd write...
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: White Dragon on July 25, 2010, 06:04:29 PM
-mouse heads - squirrel puddles - exploding old ladies - tapeworms // dipspit - zits...etc

There's a sentence I bet you never thought you'd write...

LOL. Very true! Only on Ehell!!!
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: vorbau on July 26, 2010, 08:24:44 PM
If you are going to be working outdoors in a situation involving decomposing anything, either wear a crew-neck t-shirt, or keep your coverall zipped all the way up, regardless of temperature/humidity/heat index.

Because if you wear a v-neck shirt, or unzip the coverall for some air, you WILL find a maggot in your bra when you undress that night.

(Along with leaves, twigs, pine needles, bits of straw, dead bugs, a large mosquito, and an unidentified dark substance I'd rather not investigate further.)

Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Outdoor Girl on July 27, 2010, 09:14:52 AM
One summer, a friend of mine and I went on a canoe trip with my Dad.  This one lake had a just submerged rock ridge across the middle of it that we had to get out and lift the canoe over.

When I got back in and tucked my feet back under the seat to paddle, my friend shrieked as I had a very large leech stuck to the bottom of my foot.

My Dad told me to stick my foot over the side of the canoe and shake to see if it would come off as he looked for the salt.  He found the first shaker but it was the pepper.  And then the leech fell off.  Dad was relieved he didn't have to keep looking for the salt shaker.

Until I brought my foot back into the canoe.  My friend shrieked again, louder and moved as far away from me as she could.  I had about 100 baby leeches about a centimeter long stuck to the bottom of my foot.

Dad found the salt; I got them all off my foot and I have never stepped out of the canoe without shoes on again.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Kimblee on July 27, 2010, 02:48:00 PM
One summer, a friend of mine and I went on a canoe trip with my Dad.  This one lake had a just submerged rock ridge across the middle of it that we had to get out and lift the canoe over.

When I got back in and tucked my feet back under the seat to paddle, my friend shrieked as I had a very large leech stuck to the bottom of my foot.

My Dad told me to stick my foot over the side of the canoe and shake to see if it would come off as he looked for the salt.  He found the first shaker but it was the pepper.  And then the leech fell off.  Dad was relieved he didn't have to keep looking for the salt shaker.

Until I brought my foot back into the canoe.  My friend shrieked again, louder and moved as far away from me as she could.  I had about 100 baby leeches about a centimeter long stuck to the bottom of my foot.

Dad found the salt; I got them all off my foot and I have never stepped out of the canoe without shoes on again.

A friend of mine has a pair of PET leaches. She was fishing with her bare legs in the water one day and when she took her legs out there were three leeches. So she tugged them until they popped off, dropped them in a can of water and used one as bait.

By the time she was ready to go home, there were still the two left, so she took them home and put them in a twenty gallon fishtank of pond water. And there they've stayed for almost a year now. She feeds them bu sticking her arm in the tank.

I have no idea if this is safe, but she isn;t dead yet...
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: hobish on July 27, 2010, 03:06:46 PM

Kimblee, that is one of the strangest things I have ever heard. I so wish we could hang out.  :)
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Outdoor Girl on July 27, 2010, 03:13:33 PM
Very bizarre...

And a PSA:  Don't pull leeches off.  They can leave their mouth parts behind and give you a pretty good infection.  Either let them feed until they drop off, or dose them with salt if you aren't worried about keeping them alive.

My grandfather was in the first world war in the medical corp.  He told the story of how they had to leave their wounded behind in a swamp when they retreated.  And when they retook the same ground a couple of days later, their buddies were all fine, hungry, but fine.  The leeches had taken care of any blood poisoning from the lead.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Kimblee on July 27, 2010, 03:21:06 PM
Very bizarre...

And a PSA:  Don't pull leeches off.  They can leave their mouth parts behind and give you a pretty good infection.  Either let them feed until they drop off, or dose them with salt if you aren't worried about keeping them alive.

My grandfather was in the first world war in the medical corp.  He told the story of how they had to leave their wounded behind in a swamp when they retreated.  And when they retook the same ground a couple of days later, their buddies were all fine, hungry, but fine.  The leeches had taken care of any blood poisoning from the lead.

I think she lets them drop off after "dinner" (I know she stands around with her arm in  the tank so they don't "dry out" during their meal) but I'm not sure if she yanked them when she found them. They're both alive a year later, does that mean their mouth parts were fine?

What's strange is, she's honestly fond of them. She claims they are a "free" pet, because she already had the tank and filter, and she doesn't have to buy them food. She likes to show off pics of them on her phone, and they have names. Pretty good life for fish bait.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: jayhawk on July 27, 2010, 03:52:16 PM
Wonder what would happen if someone put a leech on one of those big ol' zits??? >:D
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Kimblee on July 27, 2010, 04:01:03 PM
Wonder what would happen if someone put a leech on one of those big ol' zits??? >:D

Hmm...

I'd like to find out, that'd be hilarious.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: mechtilde on July 27, 2010, 04:06:35 PM
Well leaches are still used in medicine. Just don't try it without medical supervision!
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: hermanne on July 27, 2010, 06:00:39 PM
Wonder what would happen if someone put a leech on one of those big ol' zits??? >:D

eew...  :-X
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: kitkatswing on July 27, 2010, 11:30:56 PM
Ok, does anyone have a link to the squirel puddle story??? Im fascinated...
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Bellantara on July 28, 2010, 12:08:54 AM
Ok, does anyone have a link to the squirel puddle story??? Im fascinated...

Page 12 of this thread, reply #174 by vorbau.  ;D
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: kitkatswing on July 28, 2010, 12:34:11 AM
Thanks... Off to read now...



*** Ok that was the funniest thing I have ever read!!!!!
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Pinky830 on July 28, 2010, 12:33:34 PM
Kimblee... UH UH! Really??!! Oh my word, I was with ya until the part about how she feeds them...that is so freaking wrong. But in an odd way, it sort of makes perfect sense...KWIM?
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Kimblee on July 28, 2010, 01:39:58 PM
Kimblee... UH UH! Really??!! Oh my word, I was with ya until the part about how she feeds them...that is so freaking wrong. But in an odd way, it sort of makes perfect sense...KWIM?

Seriously. Their names are Sookie and Chewie. (Suck and chew... get it? Yeah, she had to explain it to me because I'm dumb. :-[)

And she honestly adores them. She decorated their tank with one of those goldfish castles and a pirate chest that makes bubbles...  ::)
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Dazi on July 28, 2010, 04:38:12 PM
Kimblee... UH UH! Really??!! Oh my word, I was with ya until the part about how she feeds them...that is so freaking wrong. But in an odd way, it sort of makes perfect sense...KWIM?

Seriously. Their names are Sookie and Chewie. (Suck and chew... get it? Yeah, she had to explain it to me because I'm dumb. :-[)

And she honestly adores them. She decorated their tank with one of those goldfish castles and a pirate chest that makes bubbles...  ::)

That is seriously the funniest and yet most disturbing thing I think I have ever heard.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Kimblee on July 28, 2010, 06:24:23 PM
Kimblee... UH UH! Really??!! Oh my word, I was with ya until the part about how she feeds them...that is so freaking wrong. But in an odd way, it sort of makes perfect sense...KWIM?

Seriously. Their names are Sookie and Chewie. (Suck and chew... get it? Yeah, she had to explain it to me because I'm dumb. :-[)

And she honestly adores them. She decorated their tank with one of those goldfish castles and a pirate chest that makes bubbles...  ::)

That is seriously the funniest and yet most disturbing thing I think I have ever heard.

lol

Just imagine going into a really nice, well furnished house, when a pretty blonde in designer jeans asks you if you would like to meet her "little angels" and then being directed to a fish tank with pink gravel, those decorations..... and a pair of brownish spotted leeches swimming around.

That's about the experience... Of course she tries to get ME to "feed" htem, because I've never been bitten by a leech. She claims it doesn;t hurt any, but I don't believe her.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Midnight Kitty on July 28, 2010, 07:30:52 PM
Of course she tries to get ME to "feed" them, because I've never been bitten by a leech. She claims it doesn;t hurt any, but I don't believe her.
Maybe it's just me, but friendship has its limits.  For me, feeding my best friend's leeches by letting them suck my blood is so far past my limits, I can't even see them from there.(http://bestsmileys.com/sick/9.gif)
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Eisa on July 28, 2010, 08:45:53 PM
That story frightens me. EW on keeping leeches as pets...or even, I don't know maybe leeches would make ok pets...but feeding them by putting your arm in the water and letting them feed? EW EW EW EW EW!!!!
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Kimblee on July 28, 2010, 09:07:49 PM
Of course she tries to get ME to "feed" them, because I've never been bitten by a leech. She claims it doesn;t hurt any, but I don't believe her.
Maybe it's just me, but friendship has its limits.  For me, feeding my best friend's leeches by letting them suck my blood is so far past my limits, I can't even see them from there.(http://bestsmileys.com/sick/9.gif)


LOL

She's a good friend... Let's just say that.

But not good enough for me to let the twins bite me.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: M-theory on July 30, 2010, 06:00:15 AM
This isn't REALLY gross, especially not in comparison to most of this thread, but my gross-meter is a little broken from working in the healthcare field, so I thought I'd put it here instead of in "don't do that."

I have (had) earplugs, the soft, squishy foam kind. I put them in every time I sleep because I sleep during the day, have a rambunctious cat, and live one house down from a major road. I do disinfect them when they start to smell funky, but my ears are pretty wax productive. Earwax is very proteinacious - cats have been known to steal Q-tips out of trashcans and chew on them because to them, earwax smells pretty much like weird meat (I guess).

Early last week, I got up and took out my earplugs, then stuck them in their case without closing it. That was a mistake, as my foster cat promptly jumped up on my nightstand, snatched one of the earplugs, and ate it. That's pretty gross on its own, but the best part is...

It turns out cats have pretty slow digestive tracts. I was really surprised by how long it took me to...find...my missing earplug. Not that I wanted it back by that point, of course. I'm hoping it's the first and last bright orange object I ever discover while scooping the box.

Today I'm buying a new pair and will never make the mistake of leaving them out and unattended again. :P
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Giggity on August 02, 2010, 04:33:21 PM
see and my girlfiend's SIL thought it was really gross that the dog came home with a dear leg....

wonder what she would have done with a hand?

I cannot be the only person here reminded of the immortal and awesome "Dogs in Elk."

http://web.mit.edu/munch/Public/humor/elk
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Miss Vertigo on August 02, 2010, 04:37:39 PM
see and my girlfiend's SIL thought it was really gross that the dog came home with a dear leg....

wonder what she would have done with a hand?

I cannot be the only person here reminded of the immortal and awesome "Dogs in Elk."

http://web.mit.edu/munch/Public/humor/elk
:o :o

Lori Shiraishi - 03:04pm Sep 9, 1999 PDT (# 1344 of 1356)
>And very loud, one singing, one snoring.
wow. I can't even begin to imagine the acoustics involved with singing from
the inside of an elk.

Anne V - 03:04pm Sep 9, 1999 PDT (# 1345 of 1356)
reverb. lots and lots of reverb.

 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D


Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: vorbau on August 05, 2010, 07:44:51 AM
WARNING: Contains human decomposition AND algebra!

Well, I've only been back at work a few weeks and already I have a new one for y'all.

Here's the algebra part (I always hated word problems): Given that:

- you have a deceased male massing 91 KG
- the body is (sorry, no delicate way to put it) mulched by a John Deer 1565 mower traveling 9 mph, with a 60" blade whose tips are traveling 18,000 feet per minute, which can throw objects weighing 1 oz or more at speeds up to 200 pmh

what area will you have to search to ensure you recover the entire body?
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Suze on August 05, 2010, 07:46:42 AM
way more than I want to think about......

ok so how much of the field did you have to search?

(I hate algebra)
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: vorbau on August 05, 2010, 08:03:52 AM
1.39 square acres (60,549 square feet). In a heat index of 105.

Oh, and for the record (my intern learned this the hard way), it's sun screen first, then bug spray.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Miss Vertigo on August 05, 2010, 08:06:25 AM
Vorbau, I have no idea. I had to have extra tuition at maths at school, I was so bad at it. But I just wanted to ask if it was wrong that I nearly squealed with delight when I saw a new post by you in this thread in my unread replies  ;D
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Suze on August 05, 2010, 08:13:41 AM
so now the next question

how many people and how long did it take to "find it all back"
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Miss Vertigo on August 05, 2010, 08:17:04 AM
Ooooh, and another question. Was the guy killed in a bizarre gardening accident (copyright: Spinal Tap) or was he dead already and the body got mulched by some poor unsuspecting person with the lawnmower?

I don't know why I need to know this, by the way.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Suze on August 05, 2010, 08:18:56 AM
cause we are nosy little snoops -- that's why

and we watch too much "crime tv"


giggle
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Miss Vertigo on August 05, 2010, 08:24:56 AM
cause we are nosy little snoops -- that's why

and we watch too much "crime tv"


giggle

What's slightly worrying is that I don't have a TV  ;D Just a very overactive imagination...
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Suze on August 05, 2010, 08:33:23 AM
cause we are nosy little snoops -- that's why

and we watch too much "crime tv"


giggle

What's slightly worrying is that I don't have a TV  ;D Just a very overactive imagination...

Ok -- "crime books"?

snicker

(Oh and my cousin is a Forensic Pathologist - too.  boy the stories she tells)
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: vorbau on August 05, 2010, 08:34:30 AM
Well, case is still under investigation, so I have to obscure details, but here is what I can tell you:

Body was (at least originally, when whole) near the edge of some woods bordering on a large field that was clear-cut about five years ago but which has been growing back since. The field was being brush-hogged in preparation for a large camping-type event. We've tentatively identified the victim but do not yet have a cause or manner of death, nor do we know why he was where he was found.

It took a team of 12 most of two days' worth of daylight (figuring about 15 hours usable light each day, so about 30 hours) to find all the bits and pieces. The prize for the furthest piece went to my intern, Kimitha, who found a a proximal phalange (the end finger bone) 164.3 feet away from the "main portion."

The best part of the whole thing? Getting even with my deputy, Mickey, for punking me on the "Professional Darwinism" thread. Picture it: Mickey (6'4, 235 lb, bald as a billiard ball, too macho for sunscreen OR bug spray OR a hat), crawling on all fours, searching through a pile of leaves and brush only to find a very old, very dead, very overheated skunk, and Vorbau laughing until my face turned watermelon and I got the hiccups.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: magicdomino on August 05, 2010, 10:34:12 AM
You know, this makes running over a dog "deposit" with a regular lawn mower look pretty good, even if the dog was a giant breed.   :D
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: PeasNCues on August 05, 2010, 11:51:12 AM
Not as gross as squirrel puddles, but here is a small level of grossness:

When people think of rabbit feces, they generally envision those cute little dry, hard pellets rabbits will drop everywhere.

Most do not know about rabbit cecotropes.

Cecos, or "night feces" are slimy, gooey feces that rabbits eat (usually immediately as they, um, appear) in order to absorb the nutrients they contain.

Occassionally, rabbits will get distracted while doing this and leave a cecetrope behind.

Stepping on one of these in bare feet is not pleasant.

File that under Things You Never Wanted to Know About Rabbits 101.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Tashigi on August 05, 2010, 01:23:10 PM
Not as gross as squirrel puddles, but here is a small level of grossness:

When people think of rabbit feces, they generally envision those cute little dry, hard pellets rabbits will drop everywhere.

Most do not know about rabbit cecotropes.

Cecos, or "night feces" are slimy, gooey feces that rabbits eat (usually immediately as they, um, appear) in order to absorb the nutrients they contain.

Occassionally, rabbits will get distracted while doing this and leave a cecetrope behind.

Stepping on one of these in bare feet is not pleasant.

File that under Things You Never Wanted to Know About Rabbits 101.

...Part of having a puppy in the house is stepping on little... presents. I'm not sure whether it's better to step on them with socks on your feet or with bare feet. :x
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: kingsrings on August 05, 2010, 02:51:19 PM
One of my cats has started drooling whenever I come home from work or being gone a long time. I’ll pick her up for the cuddle she’s dying for, and -  wetness! Gross!! I don’t know why, I guess maybe it’s a reaction from being so happy to see me. I wish it would cease!
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Midnight Kitty on August 05, 2010, 03:05:24 PM
One of my cats has started drooling whenever I come home from work or being gone a long time. I’ll pick her up for the cuddle she’s dying for, and -  wetness! Gross!! I don’t know why, I guess maybe it’s a reaction from being so happy to see me. I wish it would cease!
One of our cats drools when she's blissed out.  I don't know whether it's cute or gross.  Both I guess >:D
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Dazi on August 05, 2010, 04:09:16 PM
One of my cats has started drooling whenever I come home from work or being gone a long time. I’ll pick her up for the cuddle she’s dying for, and -  wetness! Gross!! I don’t know why, I guess maybe it’s a reaction from being so happy to see me. I wish it would cease!
One of our cats drools when she's blissed out.  I don't know whether it's cute or gross.  Both I guess >:D
One of mine does as well.  She'll drool a 6'' puddle if she is kneading.  It is cute and gross...at least it is clear?
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Bibliophile on August 05, 2010, 04:09:54 PM
One of my cats has started drooling whenever I come home from work or being gone a long time. I’ll pick her up for the cuddle she’s dying for, and -  wetness! Gross!! I don’t know why, I guess maybe it’s a reaction from being so happy to see me. I wish it would cease!
One of our cats drools when she's blissed out.  I don't know whether it's cute or gross.  Both I guess >:D
One of mine does as well.  She'll drool a 6'' puddle if she is kneading.  It is cute and gross...at least it is clear?
Add mine to the list.  It's sooo gross!  :)
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: kingsrings on August 05, 2010, 05:07:59 PM
I'd never heard of a cat doing this or thought of a cat doing this until now! I'm glad the little bugger is so happy, but I sure wish she'd stop the drooling!
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: snowfire on August 05, 2010, 10:41:15 PM
I've had several droolers. Usually when they are so blissed out about something.  The cat my Mom had when she was in college drooled so much when she came home from her out of state University that they went through a whole box of kleenex.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Hushabye on August 06, 2010, 09:07:40 AM
Not terribly gross, but I know it got that reaction from Southern Honey's aunt:

Two nights ago, we were both hanging out in bed, reading before hitting the sack.  I was leaning up against the headboard where Tesla had made himself comfortable.  After a while, I feel some tugging at my hair, where he's licking it -- apparently I need frequent grooming.  Then, next thing I hear is that funny sound cats make when they sneeze, and a bunch of my hair flattens to my head.  He snotted all over my hair!  :P

Bless his heart; it's a good thing he's cute.  ;D
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Suze on August 06, 2010, 09:21:40 AM
Not terribly gross, but I know it got that reaction from Southern Honey's aunt:

Two nights ago, we were both hanging out in bed, reading before hitting the sack.  I was leaning up against the headboard where Tesla had made himself comfortable.  After a while, I feel some tugging at my hair, where he's licking it -- apparently I need frequent grooming.  Then, next thing I hear is that funny sound cats make when they sneeze, and a bunch of my hair flattens to my head.  He snotted all over my hair!  :P

Bless his heart; it's a good thing he's cute.  ;D

you're nobody till you have been sneezed on by the cat.....

at least that is what my friend says.  (we have come to the conclusion that Jasamine is allergic to herself as much as she sneezes)
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Giggity on August 06, 2010, 09:32:38 AM
I've had cats for 41 years, and I have never known one to drool.

It's times like this that I realize I have led a very lucky life indeed.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Suze on August 06, 2010, 09:37:34 AM
mine only drool when they get too "high" on catnip

and then they are three sorry looking balls of fur
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Ambrosia Hino on August 06, 2010, 10:02:54 AM
my Princess kitty used to drool. Sometimes our Garfield (DH's and mine, as opposed to just mine) will drool. I've known a few other cats that did too, mostly when they're really happy.

Garfield gets that eye gunk from allergies. His previous owner said he had it with them too...the only thing in common with places is Garfield...so we think he's allergic to himself
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: PeasNCues on August 06, 2010, 10:14:33 AM
There was a barn cat at the ranch where i used to ride who would drool the minute you touched him because he was Oh So Happy that you were there.

Problem was that he never touched the ground. Never. He prefered to be in rafters or on top of cabinets, so more often then not, people would reach up to pet him, putting themselves right underneath him.

More than one cat-loving person recieved a surprise face full of cat drool.

People who knew the cat knew to stand aside lol.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: kingsrings on August 06, 2010, 03:33:09 PM
LOL!! What a sweet little barn kitty, though.

I have experienced the cat sneeze. The worst was when my calico sneeze directly smack into my face, out of nowhere. She couldn't understand why I screamed and pushed her off of my lap.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Suze on August 06, 2010, 03:43:24 PM
LOL!! What a sweet little barn kitty, though.

I have experienced the cat sneeze. The worst was when my calico sneeze directly smack into my face, out of nowhere. She couldn't understand why I screamed and pushed her off of my lap.

jasamine did that to me - she was on the back of the chair and I looked up at her

bleck

from the 3 inch range
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: PeasNCues on August 06, 2010, 05:13:50 PM
Anybody else have dogs that seem to walk up to you, stick their face in yours and then sneeze/belch?

It's like they're sharing and they don't understand why you yell "Grooooooooosssssssssssssssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Pilsner and Scotch love to do this.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: snowfire on August 06, 2010, 06:25:23 PM
Although, there isn't much that can top a horse sneeze for sheer volume of disgusting stuff.  They also seem to have a fine ability to hit bare legs, arms, or chest.  If they can't hit bare skin, then the person wearing the lightest colored clothes is a perpetually good target.

Nothing quite like a nice gooey mouthful of alfalfa/horse spit sliding merrily down your snoobage.  :-X ;D
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Midnight Kitty on August 07, 2010, 01:23:11 PM
Although, there isn't much that can top a horse sneeze for sheer volume of disgusting stuff.  They also seem to have a fine ability to hit bare legs, arms, or chest.  If they can't hit bare skin, then the person wearing the lightest colored clothes is a perpetually good target.

Nothing quite like a nice gooey mouthful of alfalfa/horse spit sliding merrily down your snoobage.  :-X ;D
Ah yes, horse snot.  Misty has sneezed, then wiped her nose on the back of my (light colored) shirt.  My husband laughed his butt off 'cuz that's what kids do to their mommies.  It doesn't come out in the wash, not even with pretreatment and stain removal additives.  There is some magical adhesive quality to horse snot.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: PeasNCues on August 08, 2010, 08:14:10 PM
Although, there isn't much that can top a horse sneeze for sheer volume of disgusting stuff.  They also seem to have a fine ability to hit bare legs, arms, or chest.  If they can't hit bare skin, then the person wearing the lightest colored clothes is a perpetually good target.

Nothing quite like a nice gooey mouthful of alfalfa/horse spit sliding merrily down your snoobage.  :-X ;D
Ah yes, horse snot.  Misty has sneezed, then wiped her nose on the back of my (light colored) shirt.  My husband laughed his butt off 'cuz that's what kids do to their mommies.  It doesn't come out in the wash, not even with pretreatment and stain removal additives.  There is some magical adhesive quality to horse snot.

Or horse mouth-froth. It seems like whenever they wipe their mouths on you, there are bits of... stuff stuck in the froth that is now smeared all over you. And there is no stopping them once they decide to use you as their walking hankerchief.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: vorbau on August 08, 2010, 08:30:33 PM
Although, there isn't much that can top a horse sneeze for sheer volume of disgusting stuff.  They also seem to have a fine ability to hit bare legs, arms, or chest.  If they can't hit bare skin, then the person wearing the lightest colored clothes is a perpetually good target.

Nothing quite like a nice gooey mouthful of alfalfa/horse spit sliding merrily down your snoobage.  :-X ;D
Ah yes, horse snot.  Misty has sneezed, then wiped her nose on the back of my (light colored) shirt.  My husband laughed his butt off 'cuz that's what kids do to their mommies.  It doesn't come out in the wash, not even with pretreatment and stain removal additives.  There is some magical adhesive quality to horse snot.

Or horse mouth-froth. It seems like whenever they wipe their mouths on you, there are bits of... stuff stuck in the froth that is now smeared all over you. And there is no stopping them once they decide to use you as their walking hankerchief.

And it always has something green in it.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: wonderfullyanonymous on August 08, 2010, 09:37:42 PM
I have 2 cats now that drool when they are blissfully happy. It is kind of gross, because a cat just shouldn't drool.

When I was taking riding lessons, my instructor was boarding a horse that had a hard time eating carrots and apples. He had to have them cut into very small pieces, but he still would sometimes cough them  all over. If you were any where near him when he was eating them, you would be wearing them shortly.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: mechtilde on August 09, 2010, 01:15:33 PM
I have 2 cats now that drool when they are blissfully happy. It is kind of gross, because a cat just shouldn't drool.

Many cats would disagree! ;D
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Punky B. on August 09, 2010, 04:41:19 PM
My chihuahua likes to run up and burp in your face.  One day I was holding her and burped in her face for revenge. (I know, real mature...)  She rears back.... and sneezes directly into my eyeball.  Splat!  And I wear contacts.  :P

That'll teach me to stoop to their level.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: hobish on August 09, 2010, 04:46:45 PM
Anybody else have dogs that seem to walk up to you, stick their face in yours and then sneeze/belch?

It's like they're sharing and they don't understand why you yell "Grooooooooosssssssssssssssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Pilsner and Scotch love to do this.

My friend has a pug that does that. He has gotten me many many times. I am finally learning not to let him near my face.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Hushabye on August 09, 2010, 04:52:54 PM
Anybody else have dogs that seem to walk up to you, stick their face in yours and then sneeze/belch?

It's like they're sharing and they don't understand why you yell "Grooooooooosssssssssssssssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Pilsner and Scotch love to do this.

My friend has a pug that does that. He has gotten me many many times. I am finally learning not to let him near my face.


Speaking of not letting a dog get in your face, a friend's girlfriend had a Chihuahua with a really bad habit that nobody thought to warn me of: he likes to get up on your shoulder while you're sitting on the couch so he can hump your ear.  I was most displeased when he started trying to go at it on the side of my face, and quite pleased when friend broke up with the girlfriend who thought this was just hilarious.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: hobish on August 09, 2010, 05:42:27 PM

Gaaah! That's bad!

Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Midnight Kitty on August 09, 2010, 06:18:28 PM
Way back when I was little, my aunt had a dog who liked to lick your tonsils.  One learned never to open ones mouth when he was within striking distance.  He had an amazingly long tongue, like a camelion.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: kitty-cat on August 09, 2010, 06:28:37 PM
Way back when I was little, my aunt had a dog who liked to lick your tonsils.  One learned never to open ones mouth when he was within striking distance.  He had an amazingly long tongue, like a camelion.

Well, your aunt's dog has been re-incarnated in the form of Peanut. Our dog loves to french kiss... He gets annoying though, but he is learning to behave when bopped.

Now, Peanuts love for my stepdad's leg on the other hand....
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: 2littlemonkeys on August 10, 2010, 10:30:11 AM
Well, case is still under investigation, so I have to obscure details, but here is what I can tell you:

Body was (at least originally, when whole) near the edge of some woods bordering on a large field that was clear-cut about five years ago but which has been growing back since. The field was being brush-hogged in preparation for a large camping-type event. We've tentatively identified the victim but do not yet have a cause or manner of death, nor do we know why he was where he was found.

It took a team of 12 most of two days' worth of daylight (figuring about 15 hours usable light each day, so about 30 hours) to find all the bits and pieces. The prize for the furthest piece went to my intern, Kimitha, who found a a proximal phalange (the end finger bone) 164.3 feet away from the "main portion."

The best part of the whole thing? Getting even with my deputy, Mickey, for punking me on the "Professional Darwinism" thread. Picture it: Mickey (6'4, 235 lb, bald as a billiard ball, too macho for sunscreen OR bug spray OR a hat), crawling on all fours, searching through a pile of leaves and brush only to find a very old, very dead, very overheated skunk, and Vorbau laughing until my face turned watermelon and I got the hiccups.

Well, I was with you until you went and mentioned algebra.  Then I had to stop reading.   :P

Here's something I've always wondered...how do you know you've found everything in a case where everything is scattered all over Hell's Half Acre? (Sorry, my morbid curiosity is showing.)  Do you weigh all the recovered pieces and base it on how much the deceased weighed at the TOD?
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: vorbau on August 10, 2010, 11:16:06 AM
We lay everything out on a tarp in anatomical position, starting with bones and teeth. Organs, if extant, are double-bagged and labeled before being placed in position. If the body is in larger pieces (i.e., limbs, torbo, head are more or less intact), we'll bag them as is. Generally we don't stop searching until we have all bones and teeth accounted for, as these are important for DNA later on. Organs are pretty ... transient ... so we worry a little less about them. This guy had been there at least 48 hours and most likely at least 96, so the soft organs ... weren't much to worry about. Think "dogs in elk soup."

We did recover all the bones and teeth on this one, together with a huge quantity of what may or may not be physical evidence (you know those file boxes you buy at Office Depot? 41 boxes worth, plus 18 45 gallon garbage bags. We're still sorting it - in fact, that's what I'm doing today. One-eyed and one-handed). Sometimes you just can't get everything; I still have nightmares about one case where we found everything but one single proximal phalange (end finger bone). I dream that I have to keep searching increasingly impossible locations (Mt Everest, the Marianas Trench, Greenland ice cap) until I find it. At work, I'm known as "Queen of the Dead" because I handle all unidentified deceased cases, and many of these are impossible to solve because they involve only partial remains.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: sweetgirl on August 10, 2010, 11:56:07 AM
There is a very disturbing video you can download on the internet that I will not mention here cause its just gross. You can view peoples actual reaction to the video on youtube. I promise I am not a freak...I got intrigued after seeing the reactions as to what the big deal was on YT. Ackkkkk....most things dont make me dry heave.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: 2littlemonkeys on August 10, 2010, 12:36:50 PM
We lay everything out on a tarp in anatomical position, starting with bones and teeth. Organs, if extant, are double-bagged and labeled before being placed in position. If the body is in larger pieces (i.e., limbs, torbo, head are more or less intact), we'll bag them as is. Generally we don't stop searching until we have all bones and teeth accounted for, as these are important for DNA later on. Organs are pretty ... transient ... so we worry a little less about them. This guy had been there at least 48 hours and most likely at least 96, so the soft organs ... weren't much to worry about. Think "dogs in elk soup."

We did recover all the bones and teeth on this one, together with a huge quantity of what may or may not be physical evidence (you know those file boxes you buy at Office Depot? 41 boxes worth, plus 18 45 gallon garbage bags. We're still sorting it - in fact, that's what I'm doing today. One-eyed and one-handed). Sometimes you just can't get everything; I still have nightmares about one case where we found everything but one single proximal phalange (end finger bone). I dream that I have to keep searching increasingly impossible locations (Mt Everest, the Marianas Trench, Greenland ice cap) until I find it. At work, I'm known as "Queen of the Dead" because I handle all unidentified deceased cases, and many of these are impossible to solve because they involve only partial remains.

Oh, I see, the skeletal/teeth remains and large pieces are the most important and anything else you can find is gravy (please pardon the expression, LOL)  I was sitting here thinking you had to find every last piece of body and could not figure out how anyone was supposed to do that.  Your job is so fascinating to me! 
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: lilihob on August 10, 2010, 12:50:10 PM
There is a very disturbing video you can download on the internet that I will not mention here cause its just gross. You can view peoples actual reaction to the video on youtube. I promise I am not a freak...I got intrigued after seeing the reactions as to what the big deal was on YT. Ackkkkk....most things dont make me dry heave.

2 girls, 1 cup? :-X
Lilihob, running off to get the brain bleach.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: hobish on August 10, 2010, 01:32:22 PM
There is a very disturbing video you can download on the internet that I will not mention here cause its just gross. You can view peoples actual reaction to the video on youtube. I promise I am not a freak...I got intrigued after seeing the reactions as to what the big deal was on YT. Ackkkkk....most things dont make me dry heave.

2 girls, 1 cup? :-X
Lilihob, running off to get the brain bleach.

I have still not brought myself to watch that or the reactions to it. I know it is supposed to be a psych experiment and not just gratuitous grossness; but i just can't do it.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: kingsrings on August 10, 2010, 02:12:50 PM
Okay, now I'm curious. What is it, if you don't want to all-out state, then just "hint" at what it is.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Reddie321 on August 10, 2010, 02:22:16 PM
I have still not brought myself to watch that or the reactions to it. I know it is supposed to be a psych experiment and not just gratuitous grossness; but i just can't do it.


I hadn't heard that.  How on earth is that supposed to be a psych experiment?!  I watched it to see what everyone was talking about, but gave up after about 4 seconds.  There are some things you cannot un-watch.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: M-theory on August 10, 2010, 02:22:31 PM
Okay, now I'm curious. What is it, if you don't want to all-out state, then just "hint" at what it is.

Coprophagia.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: 2littlemonkeys on August 10, 2010, 03:06:22 PM
Okay, I'm cool with stories about hunting for body parts, dogs spending the day inside an elk and stepping in a puddle of squirrel but THAT is disgusting.   :-X

Thanks for the gist, M.  I will not be running off to find that video.  I'm not even tempted, LOL.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Amava on August 10, 2010, 03:19:24 PM
I have still not brought myself to watch that or the reactions to it. I know it is supposed to be a psych experiment and not just gratuitous grossness; but i just can't do it.


I hadn't heard that.  How on earth is that supposed to be a psych experiment?!  I watched it to see what everyone was talking about, but gave up after about 4 seconds.  There are some things you cannot un-watch.

That is news for me, too. What was the experiment? Creating something as gross as possible and seeing whether it would become an internet meme? Or something else?
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: vorbau on August 11, 2010, 11:36:34 AM
This grosses even *me* out. As a corollary, don't Google "water sports" looking for information on kayaks. What has been seen cannot be unseen.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: kitty-cat on August 11, 2010, 11:58:19 AM
This grosses even *me* out. As a corollary, don't Google "water sports" looking for information on kayaks. What has been seen cannot be unseen.

And this is why you keep safe search on medium...
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Diane AKA Traska on August 11, 2010, 12:02:11 PM
And if you don't, urine trouble.   :P
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: hobish on August 11, 2010, 12:07:11 PM
I have still not brought myself to watch that or the reactions to it. I know it is supposed to be a psych experiment and not just gratuitous grossness; but i just can't do it.


I hadn't heard that.  How on earth is that supposed to be a psych experiment?!  I watched it to see what everyone was talking about, but gave up after about 4 seconds.  There are some things you cannot un-watch.

That is news for me, too. What was the experiment? Creating something as gross as possible and seeing whether it would become an internet meme? Or something else?

Something about watching the faces of people watching the video. I don't remember the details and i don't think i want to type that into a search engine at work (which is where i am - because lunch is a great time to read the gross-out thread)  :P

Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: zoidberg on August 11, 2010, 12:19:31 PM
There was a hilarious interview with George Clooney in a German magazine.

They made him watch "Two girls, on cup" and described his reaction. He did not like what he saw. At all.

Even though I am terminally curious about, ahem, preferences that are "out there", I will not ever watch that video. Ever.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Bexx27 on August 11, 2010, 12:21:43 PM
I have still not brought myself to watch that or the reactions to it. I know it is supposed to be a psych experiment and not just gratuitous grossness; but i just can't do it.


I hadn't heard that.  How on earth is that supposed to be a psych experiment?!  I watched it to see what everyone was talking about, but gave up after about 4 seconds.  There are some things you cannot un-watch.

That is news for me, too. What was the experiment? Creating something as gross as possible and seeing whether it would become an internet meme? Or something else?

Something about watching the faces of people watching the video. I don't remember the details and i don't think i want to type that into a search engine at work (which is where i am - because lunch is a great time to read the gross-out thread)  :P



The video was not created as an experiment, but there was an experiment done on "the anatomy of disgust" in which people's reactions to the video were filmed. The video is actually a trailer for a Brazilian fetish film.

ETA: And no, I haven't watched it, nor will I ever. *shudders at description on Wikipedia*
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: hobish on August 11, 2010, 12:24:45 PM

Ahaaa! Thanx Bexx!

Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: kitty-cat on August 11, 2010, 12:25:42 PM
I've been told what sites to never go to, or to never click the links in an IRC chatroom unless you know who it's from IRL, by my boyfriend. He's a world class computer geek (his words) and he's fallen for the "click this link, cool site" trick before...

And now, to get our minds back in a happy place, have a cute music vid about kittens here (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZOU8GIRUd_g) Be sure to have your sound on- it starts quick :)
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: M-theory on August 11, 2010, 12:26:44 PM
I'll note that I haven't actually watched it either, but it's become enough of an Internet pop culture reference that I was able to discern the content just from side convos during gaming.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: kingsrings on August 11, 2010, 01:16:21 PM
And sadly, as long as people watch it, and apparently now get celebrities to watch it as well, it’s getting all the attention it needs, and such disgusting things will continue to be posted on YT. I guess YT has very little standards on what is allowed and not allowed on their site. I hate to think of what’s next!
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: wonderfullyanonymous on August 11, 2010, 01:50:56 PM
I don't think I have posted this yet...

I worked, for a short time in a police station, as a dispatcher. Apparently, because I was the new guy girl on the block, it was necessary to see what they could do to gross me out. Unfortunately for them, and thankfully for me, I was more tomboy, than girly-girl. They started with some pictures of the dead, then the murdered, there was an autopsy pic of a lady who died from a gunshot wound to the head. She was brought back at the scene with some serious CPR which put a HUGE bruise on her chest. The officer showing me that pic was at the autopsy. He said she had a decomp smell because her organs were dying before her heart gave out.


There was the guy who died from autoerotic asphyxia, and was (warning pun) hanging around for a while. He was in beautiful shape.


Last but not least, I came off of 2nd shift around midnight, I think it was, to a dead, mostly flat squirrel on my car. I believe I said something a long the lines of, "Oh, that's cute."

Out of the shadows came the night shift cops, laughing a little. One says, you're not even going to scream?

Why, it's just a dead squirrel, I was going to throw it into the woods.

That was the last time they tried to gross me out.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: blueberrypancakes on August 11, 2010, 02:14:44 PM
I've been told what sites to never go to, or to never click the links in an IRC chatroom unless you know who it's from IRL, by my boyfriend. He's a world class computer geek (his words) and he's fallen for the "click this link, cool site" trick before...

And now, to get our minds back in a happy place, have a cute music vid about kittens here (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZOU8GIRUd_g) Be sure to have your sound on- it starts quick :)


Great link!!!   ;D
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Kimblee on August 12, 2010, 02:44:00 PM
B/G: We have a roach problem, and my gross brother does not help.

He left a yogurt container on the kitchen counter, and I just walked in and it is at least an inch thick with bugs. So nasty. I didn't want to touch it and have bugs run over my hand, so i poured a little lysol in the container and they turned into a foaming writhing mass of death. Ew.

But i feel almost bad. I hate bugs, but that is just brutal!
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: ladyonwheels on August 12, 2010, 06:30:18 PM
probably one of my funniest gross moments was my first encounter with goatse back when it was the rage.

running over dog poop and having it stinking up my wheels is pretty grody too.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: hobish on August 12, 2010, 06:33:25 PM
probably one of my funniest gross moments was my first encounter with goatse back when it was the rage.

running over dog poop and having it stinking up my wheels is pretty grody too.

Is it safe to Google goatse? I am tragically unhip and have no idea what it is ... unless it is that cheese with live maggots in it; but i am pretty sure that is called something else.


Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: ladyonwheels on August 12, 2010, 06:40:00 PM
probably not as it is nsfw.

highlight to see. goatse is |||| a man stretching his anus to impossible size. |||
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: hobish on August 12, 2010, 06:42:58 PM

Oh my! Glad i asked!

...and now i can't stop laughing. This is a trend!? I can't wait to tell Gish!

(http://smilearchive.com/s/otn/realhappy/xxrotflmao.gif)

Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: hobish on August 12, 2010, 06:44:07 PM

Wait ... so only men can play? No fair!













i know. there is something wrong with me.  :P


Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: ladyonwheels on August 12, 2010, 06:52:16 PM
i have a reply to that but it is really inappropriately funny ;D

you can google it if you want. just be warned it is gross but i thought it was funny. 2girls1cup grosses me out. i got about ten seconds in before i gagged.

for the record i love shock sites just to see how sick people can be. my sense of humor is pretty twisted.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Wavicle on August 12, 2010, 06:55:06 PM
Urban dictionary is picture free and will have definitions for the uber gross memes you are scared to Google. That is what I use if there is any question of brain bleach being needed if I dare attempt a Google search.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: ladyonwheels on August 12, 2010, 06:57:02 PM
never look if somebody says 'blue waffle'.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Nora on August 12, 2010, 08:03:46 PM
2 girls 1 cup is the worst thing on the planet. It's even worse than goatse, but not by much. This, combined with my job as a medical secretary is making me loose faith in mankind.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: hot_shaker on August 13, 2010, 07:42:16 AM
never look if somebody says 'blue waffle'.

Okay, can we just establish now that hot)shaker will Google anything that is posted in this thread.  Yes, this was gross but I was oddly fascinated.  Wouldn't want to see it in person though.


2 girls 1 cup is the worst thing on the planet. It's even worse than goatse, but not by much. This, combined with my job as a medical secretary is making me loose faith in mankind.

Oh, you must have stories.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: AprilRenee on August 13, 2010, 09:27:42 AM
Before 2 girls 1 cups I discovered tub girl. It was probably one of the grossest things I've seen....
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Nora on August 13, 2010, 09:52:35 AM

2 girls 1 cup is the worst thing on the planet. It's even worse than goatse, but not by much. This, combined with my job as a medical secretary is making me loose faith in mankind.

Oh, you must have stories.

I do. I'm not allowed to talk about it at the dinner table anymore either.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: hot_shaker on August 13, 2010, 09:55:56 AM

2 girls 1 cup is the worst thing on the planet. It's even worse than goatse, but not by much. This, combined with my job as a medical secretary is making me loose faith in mankind.

Oh, you must have stories.

I do. I'm not allowed to talk about it at the dinner table anymore either.

You're allowed to talk about it here.  :)
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: alegria on August 13, 2010, 03:50:41 PM

2 girls 1 cup is the worst thing on the planet. It's even worse than goatse, but not by much. This, combined with my job as a medical secretary is making me loose faith in mankind.

Oh, you must have stories.

I do. I'm not allowed to talk about it at the dinner table anymore either.

You're allowed to talk about it here.  :)

Encouraged to do so, in fact!
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: M-theory on August 13, 2010, 04:00:20 PM
I just realized that my job is an unplumbed depth of source material for this thread.

A married woman has been on antibiotics for a long time due to chronic UTIs. If you've noticed that you get diarrhea when on antibiotics, that's because antibiotics don't really discriminate - they kill most of the bacteria in your gut, including the beneficial ones that help you form proper stools. In any case, this is what had happened to her - her gut was so depleted of bacteria that she couldn't get it going again, even with the benefit of supplements, and just had horrible diarrhea all the time even though she'd been off antibiotics for months.

Finally, her gastroenterologist had an idea: seed her gut with bacteria from someone else's feces. Her husband volunteered, and a sample of his stool was flushed in as a suppository of sorts with plenty of warm saline.

I'm not sure what the moral of the story is here. :P
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Reddie321 on August 13, 2010, 04:08:32 PM
I just realized that my job is an unplumbed depth of source material for this thread.

A married woman has been on antibiotics for a long time due to chronic UTIs. If you've noticed that you get diarrhea when on antibiotics, that's because antibiotics don't really discriminate - they kill most of the bacteria in your gut, including the beneficial ones that help you form proper stools. In any case, this is what had happened to her - her gut was so depleted of bacteria that she couldn't get it going again, even with the benefit of supplements, and just had horrible diarrhea all the time even though she'd been off antibiotics for months.

Finally, her gastroenterologist had an idea: seed her gut with bacteria from someone else's feces. Her husband volunteered, and a sample of his stool was flushed in as a suppository of sorts with plenty of warm saline.

I'm not sure what the moral of the story is here. :P

I had (ahem) issues from an antibiotic (think 10-12 times a day...and I didn't lose a pound!) and stumbled upon that possibility... :o

I'd read something on probiotics and active cultures, blah, blah, blah...so I decided before I went on yet another antibiotic (would be number 4 in less than a month), I'd give it a shot.  3 yogurts (with active cultures) a day for 2 days and I was almost back to normal. I still eat one a day though, just out of paranoia of that coming back.  That was all kinds of unpleasant!
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Giggity on August 13, 2010, 05:46:28 PM
I just realized that my job is an unplumbed depth of source material for this thread.

A married woman has been on antibiotics for a long time due to chronic UTIs. If you've noticed that you get diarrhea when on antibiotics, that's because antibiotics don't really discriminate - they kill most of the bacteria in your gut, including the beneficial ones that help you form proper stools. In any case, this is what had happened to her - her gut was so depleted of bacteria that she couldn't get it going again, even with the benefit of supplements, and just had horrible diarrhea all the time even though she'd been off antibiotics for months.

Finally, her gastroenterologist had an idea: seed her gut with bacteria from someone else's feces. Her husband volunteered, and a sample of his stool was flushed in as a suppository of sorts with plenty of warm saline.

I'm not sure what the moral of the story is here. :P

Some days, I am very sure I love you.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: M-theory on August 13, 2010, 07:03:13 PM
I just realized that my job is an unplumbed depth of source material for this thread.

A married woman has been on antibiotics for a long time due to chronic UTIs. If you've noticed that you get diarrhea when on antibiotics, that's because antibiotics don't really discriminate - they kill most of the bacteria in your gut, including the beneficial ones that help you form proper stools. In any case, this is what had happened to her - her gut was so depleted of bacteria that she couldn't get it going again, even with the benefit of supplements, and just had horrible diarrhea all the time even though she'd been off antibiotics for months.

Finally, her gastroenterologist had an idea: seed her gut with bacteria from someone else's feces. Her husband volunteered, and a sample of his stool was flushed in as a suppository of sorts with plenty of warm saline.

I'm not sure what the moral of the story is here. :P

Some days, I am very sure I love you.

Only some days? :P
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: M-theory on August 13, 2010, 11:12:58 PM
Wednesday night I was throwing up for several hours, long after my stomach was completely empty, so eventually I was just throwing up bile. Thursday when I finally got hungry again, I went looking for soup recipes. Where I promptly discovered that in some parts of Eastern and Southern Europe, bile from the meat animal is highly valued for the slightly bitter flavour it imparts to soups and salamis.

Yeah, lost my appetite after that.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: White Dragon on August 14, 2010, 03:46:45 PM
Wednesday night I was throwing up for several hours, long after my stomach was completely empty, so eventually I was just throwing up bile. Thursday when I finally got hungry again, I went looking for soup recipes. Where I promptly discovered that in some parts of Eastern and Southern Europe, bile from the meat animal is highly valued for the slightly bitter flavour it imparts to soups and salamis.

Yeah, lost my appetite after that.

Well, you weren't all that hungry anyway now were you?

Just think of your illness as an untapped marketing opportunity. :P
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Outdoor Girl on August 16, 2010, 06:37:14 PM
If you have been sick and are looking for soup in an attempt to settle your stomach, DO NOT choose tomato soup...
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: M-theory on August 16, 2010, 06:41:42 PM
If you have been sick and are looking for soup in an attempt to settle your stomach, DO NOT choose tomato soup...

Feel better or else!
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Outdoor Girl on August 16, 2010, 06:45:03 PM
Oh, I'm not sick now.  This was quite a while ago.  I had a migraine and for the first time I had some nausea with it.  I took a nice long nap, awoke to find I was hungry and thought that soup would be appropriate.  But I only had tomato soup.

And the nausea progressed.  Yeah, I think that sight made me even more nauseous.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Midnight Kitty on August 16, 2010, 07:45:17 PM
Funny how we differ: I love cream of tomato soup when I'm feeling under the weather.  Especially with a grilled cheese sandwich.  Mm-m-m-m good ;-)
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: vorbau on August 16, 2010, 09:05:54 PM
(I goofed, all who pointed it out were right - moved to "Don't Do That!")
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Midnight Kitty on August 16, 2010, 09:19:24 PM
Be sure that the "dead" raccoon you are about to pick up really is dead, and not sleeping/stoned/resting/rabid/overcome by the heat.

Because it actually may not be dead. And will bite.

And you will, despite having work gloves on, get a bite drawing blood. Thus requiring an ER visit and a 14-day series of rabies shots. And requiring your very irritated co-workers to chase down and trap the raccoon in a Hefty bag, transport it to animal control, and do a boatload of paperwork.

(No, it wasn't me this time. One of the guys. Despite my shouted warnings and my continual verbal and written reminders to the team that we have a LOT of rabies in our area this summer. All I can say is, the shots look really painful.)
Maybe it's because I was just posting there, but I think this post fits the "Uh.. ya, don't do that" thread.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Ambrosia Hino on August 17, 2010, 07:05:20 AM
Be sure that the "dead" raccoon you are about to pick up really is dead, and not sleeping/stoned/resting/rabid/overcome by the heat.

Because it actually may not be dead. And will bite.

And you will, despite having work gloves on, get a bite drawing blood. Thus requiring an ER visit and a 14-day series of rabies shots. And requiring your very irritated co-workers to chase down and trap the raccoon in a Hefty bag, transport it to animal control, and do a boatload of paperwork.

(No, it wasn't me this time. One of the guys. Despite my shouted warnings and my continual verbal and written reminders to the team that we have a LOT of rabies in our area this summer. All I can say is, the shots look really painful.)

Yes, they are. That pain is still very vivid in my memory. The needle is like thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiissssssss long and goes in your stomach. My poor mom was nearly deaf for over a month after I got those shots, and got to spend the next few years helping pin me down for any other shots (I remember being good about shots before that...it took 3 people to administer shots after that summer).

But hey, I promise that I've had my shots >:D I just don't promise not to bite.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Giggity on August 17, 2010, 07:19:00 AM
But hey, I promise that I've had my shots >:D I just don't promise not to bite.

It's good to know one's limits.  ;D
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Elfmama on August 17, 2010, 07:42:15 AM
Funny how we differ: I love cream of tomato soup when I'm feeling under the weather.  Especially with a grilled cheese sandwich.  Mm-m-m-m good ;-)
Yes, but it doesn't taste nearly as good the second time around!  ;D
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: HeebyJeebyLeebee on August 17, 2010, 08:02:59 AM
Funny how we differ: I love cream of tomato soup when I'm feeling under the weather.  Especially with a grilled cheese sandwich.  Mm-m-m-m good ;-)
Yes, but it doesn't taste nearly as good the second time around!  ;D
Very few things do.  LOL
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Amava on August 17, 2010, 08:10:35 AM
Funny how we differ: I love cream of tomato soup when I'm feeling under the weather.  Especially with a grilled cheese sandwich.  Mm-m-m-m good ;-)
Yes, but it doesn't taste nearly as good the second time around!  ;D
Very few things do.  LOL
I was just going to say: other kinds of soup don't exactly taste that fantastic in those circumstances, either!
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Spring Water on Sundays on August 17, 2010, 08:18:33 AM
Funny how we differ: I love cream of tomato soup when I'm feeling under the weather.  Especially with a grilled cheese sandwich.  Mm-m-m-m good ;-)
Yes, but it doesn't taste nearly as good the second time around!  ;D
Very few things do.  LOL

In my experience, chocolate pudding looks and tastes exactly the same coming back up.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: 2littlemonkeys on August 17, 2010, 10:21:56 AM
Funny how we differ: I love cream of tomato soup when I'm feeling under the weather.  Especially with a grilled cheese sandwich.  Mm-m-m-m good ;-)
Yes, but it doesn't taste nearly as good the second time around!  ;D
Very few things do.  LOL

In my experience, chocolate pudding looks and tastes exactly the same coming back up.

So do those Quaker Oatmeal To Go Squares in Banana Nut Bread flavor.  Well, they taste the same anyway.  They look a little different.

I do not, however, recommend rice if you think you might see it again.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: M-theory on August 17, 2010, 01:53:58 PM
Funny how we differ: I love cream of tomato soup when I'm feeling under the weather.  Especially with a grilled cheese sandwich.  Mm-m-m-m good ;-)
Yes, but it doesn't taste nearly as good the second time around!  ;D
Very few things do.  LOL

In my experience, chocolate pudding looks and tastes exactly the same coming back up.

Some people would consider that a bonus...
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: PeasNCues on August 17, 2010, 01:58:03 PM
LMAO Y'all are gross.

And I love you.  :-*
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: M-theory on August 17, 2010, 02:01:12 PM
I've been finding a lot of bites on myself recently. I assumed this was mosquitoes.

Then I read that there's a local bedbug infestation.

GETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFF
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Amava on August 17, 2010, 02:04:39 PM
I've been finding a lot of bites on myself recently. I assumed this was mosquitoes.

Then I read that there's a local bedbug infestation.

GETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFF

I once made the same assumption but it turned out to be fleas, in my case. From my ex-boyfriend's sister's kittehs (we all lived together in a little crooked house).
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Midnight Kitty on August 17, 2010, 02:16:53 PM
Our friend is installing our new kitchen cabinets.  He lives in the country with 4 young daughters and a cat and dog that go in and out of the house.  He called me out to our lanai (balcony) to show me a tick he found on our lawn chair.  I bit my tongue and didn't say, "YOU brought it here!"  We don't have fleas or ticks, or at least we didn't until he moved his table saw, etc. into our condo.  We live on the 8th floor and our cats never go out.  We won't even pet strays for fear of bringing home fleas, ticks, or disease.

Now I have to keep watch on us, our cats, and our bedding. >:( Here in Hawaii, we don't have cold enough winters, so fleas, ticks, mosquitoes, etc. thrive all year round.

We never should have hired a friend to work for us: You can't really complain about anything. :-\
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Spring Water on Sundays on August 17, 2010, 02:19:54 PM
Funny how we differ: I love cream of tomato soup when I'm feeling under the weather.  Especially with a grilled cheese sandwich.  Mm-m-m-m good ;-)
Yes, but it doesn't taste nearly as good the second time around!  ;D
Very few things do.  LOL

In my experience, chocolate pudding looks and tastes exactly the same coming back up.

Some people would consider that a bonus...


As far as vomiting goes, I've experienced far less pleasant (I was in chemo at the time = I was puking A LOT, so it was sort of a fun surprise!).
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: M-theory on August 17, 2010, 02:21:48 PM
Funny how we differ: I love cream of tomato soup when I'm feeling under the weather.  Especially with a grilled cheese sandwich.  Mm-m-m-m good ;-)
Yes, but it doesn't taste nearly as good the second time around!  ;D
Very few things do.  LOL

In my experience, chocolate pudding looks and tastes exactly the same coming back up.

Some people would consider that a bonus...


As far as vomiting goes, I've experienced far less pleasant (I was in chemo at the time = I was puking A LOT, so it was sort of a fun surprise!).

You have a lovely sense of humour and attitude about life. I hope I can be like you if I ever have to deal with real adversity!
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: bookworm317 on August 18, 2010, 11:26:22 AM
As far as vomiting goes, I've experienced far less pleasant (I was in chemo at the time = I was puking A LOT, so it was sort of a fun surprise!).

I'm going thru chemo right now (3 treatments left--YES!!!), did you lose any weight on the cancer diet*?



*I wouldn't recommend it, tho--chemo is NOT fun!
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Spring Water on Sundays on August 18, 2010, 12:55:19 PM
As far as vomiting goes, I've experienced far less pleasant (I was in chemo at the time = I was puking A LOT, so it was sort of a fun surprise!).

I'm going thru chemo right now (3 treatments left--YES!!!), did you lose any weight on the cancer diet*?



*I wouldn't recommend it, tho--chemo is NOT fun!

Well, I was only 6-7 years old at the time, and I was a skinny kid to begin with, but I got extra skinny during chemo. However I was on Prednisone, which causes salt cravings (my fingernails were stained yellow from eating pickles slices straight out of the jar), so I had a round belly and cheeks with skinny little legs and arms.

Congrats on being so close to the end of your treatment!!!!
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Spring Water on Sundays on August 18, 2010, 01:02:44 PM
Funny how we differ: I love cream of tomato soup when I'm feeling under the weather.  Especially with a grilled cheese sandwich.  Mm-m-m-m good ;-)
Yes, but it doesn't taste nearly as good the second time around!  ;D
Very few things do.  LOL

In my experience, chocolate pudding looks and tastes exactly the same coming back up.

Some people would consider that a bonus...


As far as vomiting goes, I've experienced far less pleasant (I was in chemo at the time = I was puking A LOT, so it was sort of a fun surprise!).

You have a lovely sense of humour and attitude about life. I hope I can be like you if I ever have to deal with real adversity!

That is so very sweet of you to say! I was a little kid at the time, though. I wasn't being brave, I just had no idea how very serious the situation was and I was mad about being poked with needles. Twenty+ years later, my nurses still use me as an example to teach new nurses how to handle uncooperative patients.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: JoW on August 24, 2010, 06:39:42 PM
Be sure that the "dead" raccoon you are about to pick up really is dead, and not sleeping/stoned/resting/rabid/overcome by the heat.

Because it actually may not be dead. And will bite.

And you will, despite having work gloves on, get a bite drawing blood. Thus requiring an ER visit and a 14-day series of rabies shots. And requiring your very irritated co-workers to chase down and trap the raccoon in a Hefty bag, transport it to animal control, and do a boatload of paperwork.

(No, it wasn't me this time. One of the guys. Despite my shouted warnings and my continual verbal and written reminders to the team that we have a LOT of rabies in our area this summer. All I can say is, the shots look really painful.)

Yes, they are. That pain is still very vivid in my memory. The needle is like thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiissssssss long and goes in your stomach. My poor mom was nearly deaf for over a month after I got those shots, and got to spend the next few years helping pin me down for any other shots (I remember being good about shots before that...it took 3 people to administer shots after that summer).

But hey, I promise that I've had my shots >:D I just don't promise not to bite.

Sorry to bring this back up, but I have good news about rabies shots.  The are no longer given in the stomach.  Now they go in a large muscle, often the seat, but they can go in the shoulder.  And you get fewer of them, and they have been re-formulated so they don't hurt as bad.  They are still a bear, but they aren't nearly the nightmare they were 40 years ago.

I have had the pre-exposure rabies shots, a human version of what your vet gives your dog, for work.  They hurt as bad as a tetnus shot.  Every year they test my blood for immunity level.  If its too low I get a booster.  I work in an animal vaccine manufacturing facility.  Our product line includes rabies.  We occasionally have the live virus on site. 
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Kimblee on August 24, 2010, 07:20:12 PM
Be sure that the "dead" raccoon you are about to pick up really is dead, and not sleeping/stoned/resting/rabid/overcome by the heat.

Because it actually may not be dead. And will bite.

And you will, despite having work gloves on, get a bite drawing blood. Thus requiring an ER visit and a 14-day series of rabies shots. And requiring your very irritated co-workers to chase down and trap the raccoon in a Hefty bag, transport it to animal control, and do a boatload of paperwork.

(No, it wasn't me this time. One of the guys. Despite my shouted warnings and my continual verbal and written reminders to the team that we have a LOT of rabies in our area this summer. All I can say is, the shots look really painful.)

Yes, they are. That pain is still very vivid in my memory. The needle is like thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiissssssss long and goes in your stomach. My poor mom was nearly deaf for over a month after I got those shots, and got to spend the next few years helping pin me down for any other shots (I remember being good about shots before that...it took 3 people to administer shots after that summer).

But hey, I promise that I've had my shots >:D I just don't promise not to bite.

Sorry to bring this back up, but I have good news about rabies shots.  The are no longer given in the stomach.  Now they go in a large muscle, often the seat, but they can go in the shoulder.  And you get fewer of them, and they have been re-formulated so they don't hurt as bad.  They are still a bear, but they aren't nearly the nightmare they were 40 years ago.

I have had the pre-exposure rabies shots, a human version of what your vet gives your dog, for work.  They hurt as bad as a tetnus shot.  Every year they test my blood for immunity level.  If its too low I get a booster.  I work in an animal vaccine manufacturing facility.  Our product line includes rabies.  We occasionally have the live virus on site. 

They make people rabies shots now? That is too cool!

That'd be great for animal control workers.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: JoW on August 24, 2010, 09:23:23 PM
The human rabies prevention shot has been available for quite some time.  Its painful and expensive and most people don't need it.  It is routinly given to high-risk people.  That includes:
People who make rabies vaccine
Animal control workers
Game wardens
Veterinarians
Some zoo employees

It hurts like h***.  Its a series of 3 over 4 weeks, and each one hurts as bad as a tetnus shot.  Mine hurt for 6 full days. 
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Kimblee on August 24, 2010, 09:29:53 PM
The human rabies prevention shot has been available for quite some time.  Its painful and expensive and most people don't need it.  It is routinly given to high-risk people.  That includes:
People who make rabies vaccine
Animal control workers
Game wardens
Veterinarians
Some zoo employees

It hurts like h***.  Its a series of 3 over 4 weeks, and each one hurts as bad as a tetnus shot.  Mine hurt for 6 full days. 

Sounds unpleasent, but what a relief it could be to someone that it saves from getting rabies.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: Ambrosia Hino on August 25, 2010, 05:59:25 AM
Be sure that the "dead" raccoon you are about to pick up really is dead, and not sleeping/stoned/resting/rabid/overcome by the heat.

Because it actually may not be dead. And will bite.

And you will, despite having work gloves on, get a bite drawing blood. Thus requiring an ER visit and a 14-day series of rabies shots. And requiring your very irritated co-workers to chase down and trap the raccoon in a Hefty bag, transport it to animal control, and do a boatload of paperwork.

(No, it wasn't me this time. One of the guys. Despite my shouted warnings and my continual verbal and written reminders to the team that we have a LOT of rabies in our area this summer. All I can say is, the shots look really painful.)

Yes, they are. That pain is still very vivid in my memory. The needle is like thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiissssssss long and goes in your stomach. My poor mom was nearly deaf for over a month after I got those shots, and got to spend the next few years helping pin me down for any other shots (I remember being good about shots before that...it took 3 people to administer shots after that summer).

But hey, I promise that I've had my shots >:D I just don't promise not to bite.

Sorry to bring this back up, but I have good news about rabies shots.  The are no longer given in the stomach.  Now they go in a large muscle, often the seat, but they can go in the shoulder.  And you get fewer of them, and they have been re-formulated so they don't hurt as bad.  They are still a bear, but they aren't nearly the nightmare they were 40 years ago.

I have had the pre-exposure rabies shots, a human version of what your vet gives your dog, for work.  They hurt as bad as a tetnus shot.  Every year they test my blood for immunity level.  If its too low I get a booster.  I work in an animal vaccine manufacturing facility.  Our product line includes rabies.  We occasionally have the live virus on site. 

I don't want to imagine how bad they were 40 years ago...mine were in 1991...I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that that was 19 years ago...I can't be that old yet... :P  I got a tetnus shot at the same time, although I did get that updated in 2005. I may remember them as being worse, since I was only 7 at the time though.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: vorbau on August 25, 2010, 10:48:34 AM
Be sure that the "dead" raccoon you are about to pick up really is dead, and not sleeping/stoned/resting/rabid/overcome by the heat.

Because it actually may not be dead. And will bite.

And you will, despite having work gloves on, get a bite drawing blood. Thus requiring an ER visit and a 14-day series of rabies shots. And requiring your very irritated co-workers to chase down and trap the raccoon in a Hefty bag, transport it to animal control, and do a boatload of paperwork.

(No, it wasn't me this time. One of the guys. Despite my shouted warnings and my continual verbal and written reminders to the team that we have a LOT of rabies in our area this summer. All I can say is, the shots look really painful.)

Yes, they are. That pain is still very vivid in my memory. The needle is like thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiissssssss long and goes in your stomach. My poor mom was nearly deaf for over a month after I got those shots, and got to spend the next few years helping pin me down for any other shots (I remember being good about shots before that...it took 3 people to administer shots after that summer).

But hey, I promise that I've had my shots >:D I just don't promise not to bite.

Sorry to bring this back up, but I have good news about rabies shots.  The are no longer given in the stomach.  Now they go in a large muscle, often the seat, but they can go in the shoulder.  And you get fewer of them, and they have been re-formulated so they don't hurt as bad.  They are still a bear, but they aren't nearly the nightmare they were 40 years ago.

I have had the pre-exposure rabies shots, a human version of what your vet gives your dog, for work.  They hurt as bad as a tetnus shot.  Every year they test my blood for immunity level.  If its too low I get a booster.  I work in an animal vaccine manufacturing facility.  Our product line includes rabies.  We occasionally have the live virus on site. 

I don't want to imagine how bad they were 40 years ago...mine were in 1991...I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that that was 19 years ago...I can't be that old yet... :P  I got a tetnus shot at the same time, although I did get that updated in 2005. I may remember them as being worse, since I was only 7 at the time though.

The guy in question is one of my LBAs (Little Baby Agents - i.e., he's got less than a year on the job) and is very ... let's say excessively self-confident. As in, he knows it all, has seen it all, and can do it all even better than you. So it was ironic, to say the least, that he was the one that ignored my repeated warnings about rabies and gloves and tried to pick up the raccoon, thinking it was dead. He's about halfway through his series of shots, which are being given by the state health dept. They are rotating the injection site each day so I'd say he's equally sore all over. It's a 21-gauge needle, which isn't enormous but is big enough to be uncomfortable (my Copaxone needles are 29-gauge). I am willing to bet he will be religious about wearing gloves and watching where he sticks his hands from now on. The raccoon was positive for rabies, and the bite did draw blood, so the agency is being super careful.

May I also add a PSA about tetanus shots? We have an agent in a Gulf Coast office who is currently in the hospital recovering from tetanus because he'd let his vaccinations lapse. Please don't do this! Tetanus is fatal about 60% of the time and there is good treatment, especially once the tetanus toxin has bound to your cells; all they can do is try to keep you alive while you fight it off. I and my family get boosters in years divisible by 5; 10 year boosters are an excellent investment for anyone who is around animals, gardens, or has outdoor hobbies.

Oh, and I have not one but 3 new Gross Out stories, which I will post as I have time - things are kinda hopping around here today.
Title: Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
Post by: HeebyJeebyLeebee on August 25, 2010, 12:00:36 PM
Luckily, I can confidently say I've had a tetanus booster in the last 10 years.  My sweet cat Claudio chomped on my thumb when he got spooked by the vacuum cleaner - approx 2004.  His canine tooth made it to the bone in my thumb!  My doc suggested the booster even though I'd forced the puncture to bleed for several minutes and thoroughly cleaned it with hydrogen peroxide and bandaged it with an anti-biotic ointment.  I agreed with her - better safe with a sore arm than sorry. 

And I discovered a new level of personal "EW!" last night.  My 60+ lb puppy Bonny had a bout of explosive diarrhea in our bedroom last night.  Poor baby - she felt awful and had put herself in her crate after her accident.  At first we smelled it and though Jack, the other dog, had blessed us with a whiff of "Eau de Derriere," but the smell was lingering and getting stronger.  I noticed Bonny was in her crate looking upset.  I didn't smell anything coming from her crate (which doubles as my bedside table).  We checked the bed - Bonny'd had accidents in the bed before.  Nope, bed was clean (thankfully!).  Soon we found a HUGE green skid mark on the carpet at the foot of the bead near Sweet Pattootie's side.  It was about as large as kitchen tea towel and very liquid.   :P  And it smelled SO BAD!!  SP was a trooper and did his best to wipe up the bulk of it -