Etiquette Hell

Etiquette School is in session! => The Ehell Guide to Never Behaving Badly => Topic started by: blarg314 on December 21, 2009, 02:12:52 AM

Title: Facebook Etiquette
Post by: blarg314 on December 21, 2009, 02:12:52 AM

General and most important rules


Facebook is a relatively new medium, and is used in different ways by different people. Do not assume or expect other people to regard Facebook and its postings the same way you do, or to have the same internal set of rules regarding its use. 

Don't take Facebook activities too personally, or over analyze people's behaviour. In particular, if you go looking for reasons to be offended or feel excluded or snubbed, you'll probably find lots, the vast majority of which are not meant that way.

Facebook is a public medium. If you wish to keep something private, keep it off Facebook.
Title: Re: Facebook Etiquette
Post by: blarg314 on December 21, 2009, 02:14:10 AM

Friending

You do not have to friend anyone you don't want to. That includes your parents, your boss, your coworkers, your ex-boyfriend, your previously unknown illegitimate half sister who just introduced herself, and that person who bullied you in elementary school.

However, if you don't want your mother/kids/boss/sister-in-law seeing what you post, then don't friend them in the first place. Don't friend them and then expect them not to read or react to what you post. 

Don't be insulted if someone declines your friend offer. Some people like to keep Facebook only for their peer group, or only for close family and friends, while others like to friend everyone they possibly can.

In the same vein, being defriended isn't generally a deadly insult. People defriend when they are paring down their networks to people they have regular contact with. People can also defriend when it's a simple mismatch between posting styles and usage, or when there is little activity on someone's account. It doesn't necessarily mean someone doesn't want to be friends with you in real life.

You can't control the interaction of your friend list with each other. If you friend two people independently, then they are free to friend each other, or start a real life acquaintenceship.

At the same time, you are free to defriend someone who is acting inappropriately towards your friend list (like sequentially asking all your female friends out, or trying to sell them a pyramid scheme).

Facebook etiquette and friending/defriending policies apply across generations. If you are in the older generation, accept that your younger relatives may not be keen on having you as a friend and don't push it. If they do friend you, then keep a reasonably low profile while you figure out what their style is.

If you're in the younger generation, realize that your older relatives are not likely to be as amused by pictures and postings involving drunken or debauched behaviour as your friends are. If what you post is worrying enough, then yes, they may legitimately talk to your parents about it.

Finally, remember that a Facebook friendship really doesn't imply much about a real life friendship.  People can be fantastic friends without Facebook contact, or totally indifferent in spite of reading each other's status updates on a daily basis.
Title: Re: Facebook Etiquette
Post by: blarg314 on December 21, 2009, 02:14:38 AM


Posting


Once posted, material is out of your control. You have some control over who sees material you post, but do not control how people react to it, or how it is passed on or reused. Think twice before posting anything that you don't want certain people to see, or that may come back to haunt you.

Things posted can be commented on. If you don't want comments, or only want comments that agree with you, then don't post the item in the first place. Remember that some of your friends will have very different views than you do on many topics, controversial or otherwise.

Similarly, avoid cryptic or passive-agressive posts and status updates. Things like "I'm angry, and those responsible know why" are passive aggressive. On the other hand, if you post something like "Feeling sad" or "My life is in ruins" don't be offended when people ask what's going on.  If you want to keep something private, then don't post about it! 

Facebook status updates and wall posts are not an appropriate place to publicly humiliate or chastize people.

Be polite when responding to other people's posts, and consider their likely reaction to what you post. Think about who will see the post before posting profanity, insults, or potentially inflammatory statements. If someone asks you to keep this sort of behaviour off their walls, respect that.

Laws regarding slander, libel and harrassment apply to the internet as well as real life. So think twice about posting unfounded accusations, rumours, or, for that matter, slander and libel.

Again, Facebook is a public medium. Do not post something to Facebook that you need or want to keep private from anyone, even if they don't have a Facebook account themselves.


Title: Re: Facebook Etiquette
Post by: blarg314 on December 21, 2009, 02:15:00 AM


Pictures and Videos


Be careful posting pictures of other people, particularly people in potentially embarrasing situations (drunk at a party, wearing an unflattering swimsuit).

If someone requests that photos of them be taken down or untagged respect this. This does not, however, mean that you have to excise them from random backgrouds views or big group shots in all your photos. Detagging them in group photos and removing shots of them in particular is fine.

Do not post pictures of other people's children without permission. The same reasonableness rules as above apply.

Do not post pictures or videos of you or your friends engaged in illegal activities unless you really want to get caught.

Note that the above are etiquette rules, not legal ones. Most of the time if someone insists on posting photos of you on Facebook, there isn't much you can do beyond asking politely for them to remove them.

Title: Re: Facebook Etiquette
Post by: blarg314 on December 21, 2009, 02:17:16 AM


Things that *aren't* real Facebook etiquette

There is no rule that people can only read or comment on items directly related to them.

There is no rule requiring people to only post opinions that agree with you.

There is no rule that requires people to *not* comment on a posted link or item.

There is no rule that people can't look at past items in your posting.

There is no rule that your different groups of friends or family must remain separate from each other.

There is no rule requiring to people to intuit your specific, unusual rules for Facebook. If you have unusual or specific requests about people's behaviour, then it's up to you to enforce it using the privacy settings or to directly and individually tell people, and to not be that surprised if they ignore you.
Title: Re: Facebook Etiquette
Post by: MissRose on December 21, 2009, 04:45:47 AM
Keep in mind that your employers present or future may be checking on facebook stuff or other social networking sites:

*Don't post that you called off work sick and brag about the bargains you got at a local store the same day as an example.  Bad idea.

*Avoid posting about anything that happens in the work place that could come back and get you later.  If you need to vent before you get extremely angry about someone/something, do so in a private way where it will be hard to trace it back to you.

*Some people set up a separate Facebook account for friending co-workers.  Be careful who you friend within the workplace.  Be careful of any posting you make as it could come back to haunt you.  If you choose to have 1 or 2 pages depending on your work, ensure privacy as much as you can, and think before posting.

*Don't drink too much and worry about pictures of you showing up on your page or others pages in less than savory situations that are related to Scrabble or passed out cold as examples.

*If your current employer says Facebook isn't allowed to be visited only during certain times of the day or not at all, respect that.  You are there to work not keep updating it, playing games, posting to other people's profiles etc.
Title: Re: Facebook Etiquette
Post by: ginlyn32 on December 21, 2009, 02:52:41 PM
More on Friending/defriending:

*It is generally bad taste to call/email people and ask why they haven't friended you or accepted your friend request. It is also bad taste to ask their spouse/SO or other friends if they know why you haven't friended them.

Usage:

*If you do not want to see millions of posts of quiz results/games or other FB applications, then learn how to hide these applications or person. Do not complain to this person or to other people that this person posts "too many quizes/games".

*Also, if you do not want to recieve quiz/game/application invites, then adjust your privacy settings so that you do not recieve them.


Wall Posts:

*Be aware that anything you post to the Wall can be read by everyone on your friend list unless you restrict it. be causous when posting or have what seems to be a private conversation on your Wall.

Game/quiz/application invites:

*You may want to only send invites to people on your list who you know would enjoy them.

*Do not be offended if you send people hearts/smiles/flowers/whatever and they don't post it. As mentioned above, everyone uses FB differently and they may not want too much "cutsie" stuff on their Wall.


Finally, yes FB is a fun, easy way to keep in contact with friends/family. Don't make it your only interaction with them though.

ginlyn
Title: Re: Facebook Etiquette
Post by: AmethystAnne on December 22, 2009, 01:16:00 PM
Is it rude to not join Facebook if a non-participating person gets 2 invitations?
Title: Re: Facebook Etiquette
Post by: hobish on December 22, 2009, 01:52:05 PM
Is it rude to not join Facebook if a non-participating person gets 2 invitations?

I'm going to say no; no one is required by any etiquette rule to join Facebook for any reason.

Spin-off question ... is it rude to continually send someone Facebook invitations/friend requests after that someone has already said they aren't on Facebook? I've got seven from the same person over the span of three weeks. It's getting on my nerves. It's already bad enough that i no longer email this person because her netiquette is atrocious, now this.
Title: Re: Facebook Etiquette
Post by: AmethystAnne on December 22, 2009, 02:17:05 PM
Thank you, Hobish. I had wondered**.

In your situation, I think that 7 requests in 3 weeks is rude. Especially since you longer email this person. (I wonder why it's so important to this person that you join FB?)





**My siblings each sent me invitations, and I didn't know what to do about it. So I did some research: I read what other ehellions have said about FB, and talked to YoungestDD.

I've come to the conclusion that, for me, Facebook would be just something else that I would have to keep up with.  :-\

I'm going to do the polite thing. I'll call Bro and Sis to decline their invitations(and catch up with what's new with them  :) ).
Title: Re: Facebook Etiquette
Post by: Allyson on December 23, 2009, 08:59:57 PM
If you're having personal drama with someone, calling them out on Facebook is really not the answer. In general, any kind of social drama is only going to be made worse when you put it on Facebook, showing it to everyone on your list and allowing it to spread. And to post it, and then complain about how people need to mind their own business, is ridiculous. Of course people are going to respond to something like that.

If someone comments offensively to your status, for instance, don't engage with them and start a war in status updates unless you're prepared for everyone to see it and feel like they're stuck in a room with a couple fighting. Even if 'they started it'. Send them a private message and talk to them about it there.
Title: Re: Facebook Etiquette
Post by: ginlyn32 on December 24, 2009, 02:55:15 PM
If you're having personal drama with someone, calling them out on Facebook is really not the answer. In general, any kind of social drama is only going to be made worse when you put it on Facebook, showing it to everyone on your list and allowing it to spread. And to post it, and then complain about how people need to mind their own business, is ridiculous. Of course people are going to respond to something like that.

If someone comments offensively to your status, for instance, don't engage with them and start a war in status updates unless you're prepared for everyone to see it and feel like they're stuck in a room with a couple fighting. Even if 'they started it'. Send them a private message and talk to them about it there.

There are also other avenues...if someone is harrassing you on FB or other social networks, you can block them or report them to the owners of the site. More often than not, they will be banned.

Personally I would fix my privacy settings so that the harrassing person cannot find you on that site.

ginlyn
Title: Re: Facebook Etiquette
Post by: veryfluffy on December 29, 2009, 04:07:57 AM
If you get a friend request (from, say, someone you vaguely remember from school, but you were never friends with, but you can see is a friend of a friend on FB), and you don't want to accept, is it necessary/polite to message them to say why you are declining? Or is it enough just to hit ignore?
Title: Re: Facebook Etiquette
Post by: Vegemite Girl on December 29, 2009, 05:08:56 AM
Is it rude to not reply to a message sent to you via facebook, in reply to a friend request you've made?

Someone who's name was not familiar to me sent me a friend request. I sent back a message saying 'sorry, I've forgotten where I know you from, could you refresh my memory?' but received no reply. I don't really care, but am curious to know if that was rude or not.
Title: Re: Facebook Etiquette
Post by: ginlyn32 on December 29, 2009, 06:35:06 PM
I would say Not rude to both questions.

IMHO, you don't have to have a reason as to why you choose not to friend someone.

ginlyn
Title: Re: Facebook Etiquette
Post by: Lisbeth on December 29, 2009, 06:37:53 PM
Is it rude to not join Facebook if a non-participating person gets 2 invitations?

No.  I got three before I joined-for a long time I really wasn't interested.  I finally threw in the towel and joined after I got the third one-although I don't regret it.
Title: Re: Facebook Etiquette
Post by: Morty'sCleaningLady on December 30, 2009, 09:00:08 AM
I've been asked several times, too.  I don't want any potential employers reading anything, so I signed up my dog.  He can report his antics to his buddies and I can stay in touch through him.
Title: Re: Facebook Etiquette
Post by: Cz. Burrito on December 30, 2009, 02:00:14 PM
There is no rule that requires people to *not* comment on a posted link or item.

I was shocked that this needed to be stated, until I heard one of the DJs on the radio this morning complaining about "serial commenters" who comment on every status update.  Really?  You posted something in public and are upset to be getting attention for it?!
Title: Re: Facebook Etiquette
Post by: aloe on January 01, 2010, 04:07:34 PM
Great thread.  But wondering why my college-age nieces and nephew never at all interact with me on Facebook.  I don't care if I see pictures of them partying at college.  Just say "hi" once or twice a year.  I'm on their Friends list.  I am 53.  Is it just the way things work re: young, old people on Facebook?
Thinking about cutting them out of my will if they're like this for another 10 years.  Half-kidding.
Title: Re: Facebook Etiquette
Post by: Hushabye on January 01, 2010, 04:36:07 PM
Great thread.  But wondering why my college-age nieces and nephew never at all interact with me on Facebook.  I don't care if I see pictures of them partying at college.  Just say "hi" once or twice a year.  I'm on their Friends list.  I am 53.  Is it just the way things work re: young, old people on Facebook?
Thinking about cutting them out of my will if they're like this for another 10 years.  Half-kidding.

Honestly?  It's possible.  I feel more comfortable interacting with some of my adult (read: parent-aged) "friends" on Facebook than with others.  So I comment more on those than I do the pages of those I'm less comfortable with.  They may enjoy being able to see what you're up to and to have the option to contact you without feeling obligated to do so.  Or they may have felt obligated to friend you (although most likely not if they sent you the friend request).
Title: Re: Facebook Etiquette
Post by: aloe on January 01, 2010, 11:42:53 PM
Thanks for your reply.  I quit commenting on their pages long ago because they don't comment on mine.  They're warm enough to me in person, though.  They live out-of-state; we don't e-mail or call....so I thought pushing a few buttons on the keyboard would be easy for them.  My brother, family, etc. are close & we have very good relationships...but I find this (Facebook interactions or none-thereof) disappointing.
Title: Re: Facebook Etiquette
Post by: Allyson on January 13, 2010, 01:41:36 PM
They might also just not be the sort of people to comment on Facebook. I rarely comment on people's photos unless I'm actually in them, for instance. I don't have any family on there except a couple of cousins, though.

On the topic of people who comment on every single status update--I think I'd find that a little weird, though not necessarily annoying. My status updates usually get less than three comments, unless it turns into a discussion, and lots of them don't get comments (this is true of most of my friends' status updates too). So it would be very noticeable if one person commented on every single update I posted. I would probably just wonder if they were bored, though, and if they did this with everyone on their friends list!

Oh, I thought of another Facebook etiquette. Don't jump in to defend one of your friends on their status updates or wall if you don't know the full story. They might just be having an inside joke with a friend of theirs. Especially if you don't know the other person.
Title: Re: Facebook Etiquette
Post by: Alex the Seal on January 14, 2010, 08:35:44 AM
They might also just not be the sort of people to comment on Facebook.

Exactly. There are all kinds of different styles of Facebook use - I personally am quieter on Facebook than most of my Facebook friends. And really, I think when someone posts a status update, they are communicating with everyone on their list, albeit in a fairly impersonal way, comments are an extra layer of interaction on top of that. Perhaps, Aloe, your nieces and nephews see it that way - that they are already are keeping you updated on their lives, and able to keep up with yours.

I've also noticed that dynamics can be different there, the people I talk to most Facebook are not necessarily the people who are most important to me. And I see plenty of status updates where, although I really care about the person and like to know what's going on with them, there's just really not anything to say.

If they're warm to you in person, then I'd say that this is a case where it's in everyone's best interests to assume no offence, unless there's another reason to think that offence might be intended :)
Title: Re: Facebook Etiquette
Post by: AmethystAnne on January 17, 2010, 10:42:38 PM
Is it rude to not join Facebook if a non-participating person gets 2 invitations?

No.  I got three before I joined-for a long time I really wasn't interested.  I finally threw in the towel and joined after I got the third one-although I don't regret it.

Brother sent me a reminder this week that he had invited me to join FB. I'm still on-the-fence about it. I'll be giving him a call tomorrow (he will be 52 on Tuesday, and he will remind me that I am still older than he is. ;D )
Title: Re: Facebook Etiquette
Post by: JeanFromBNA on January 21, 2013, 03:48:09 PM
I would like to revive this topic because things have changed in the three years since the last post.  I feel like I am always breaking some unwritten etiquette rule on FB, especially among frequent FBers. 

Anyone care to update?  Please?
Title: Re: Facebook Etiquette
Post by: Shoo on January 21, 2013, 05:19:28 PM
What rules are you wondering about, Jean?
Title: Re: Facebook Etiquette
Post by: 25wishes on January 22, 2013, 08:11:51 AM
I would just like to say I HATE (And find RUDE) the people who request you post something on your status for a day or whatever to prove you are a true patriot, Member of certain religion, care about X cause or whatever. "And if you don't, well, we will know what kind of person you are...." implied.

I never change my status and rarely post anything. I just lurk.
Title: Re: Facebook Etiquette
Post by: JeanFromBNA on January 22, 2013, 10:19:57 AM
What rules are you wondering about, Jean?

Here's a couple:

My niece, who is in a LTR and lives several states away, posted the other day that she had tickets to the bridal expo, and no one to go with.  My sister posted "I wish I could go with you :(" and a few friends said the same.  I posted "Are you getting married?" Niece has never responded, though she's posted other things since.  Was I rude to ask?

Someone posted my picture from junior high school on my Timeline.  Although some FB friends made innocent comments on it, I was NOT happy about the picture, and took it down immediately.  Do I owe them an apology?
Title: Re: Facebook Etiquette
Post by: MrTango on January 22, 2013, 01:04:07 PM
What rules are you wondering about, Jean?

Here's a couple:

My niece, who is in a LTR and lives several states away, posted the other day that she had tickets to the bridal expo, and no one to go with.  My sister posted "I wish I could go with you :(" and a few friends said the same.  I posted "Are you getting married?" Niece has never responded, though she's posted other things since.  Was I rude to ask?

Someone posted my picture from junior high school on my Timeline.  Although some FB friends made innocent comments on it, I was NOT happy about the picture, and took it down immediately.  Do I owe them an apology?

In the first situation: I don't think you were rude in asking.  It was a perfectly relevant question given that she posted about going to a bridal expo.

In the second situation: No, you don't owe them an apology.  Your wall is yours.
Title: Re: Facebook Etiquette
Post by: Cami on January 22, 2013, 03:06:58 PM
Thanks for your reply.  I quit commenting on their pages long ago because they don't comment on mine.  They're warm enough to me in person, though.  They live out-of-state; we don't e-mail or call....so I thought pushing a few buttons on the keyboard would be easy for them.  My brother, family, etc. are close & we have very good relationships...but I find this (Facebook interactions or none-thereof) disappointing.

I have found the way people use FB to be weird and well nigh incomprehensible at times.

People who are pleasant and strive to get along with others IRL are polemical and aggressive in their FB postings.
People who are gregarious and talkative in person rarely make a comment, even when one is actively solicited and would require about 10 seconds.
People who I have not been close to in DECADES will constantly "talk" to me on FB.
People who sent me a friend request and then their spouse "talks" to me instead.

It seems -- to me -- that the way people behave on FB has so  little to do with how they behave IRL. So it's weird to me and I'm not so sure I like it.
Title: Re: Facebook Etiquette
Post by: JeseC on January 26, 2013, 05:53:29 PM
There is no rule that requires people to *not* comment on a posted link or item.

I was shocked that this needed to be stated, until I heard one of the DJs on the radio this morning complaining about "serial commenters" who comment on every status update.  Really?  You posted something in public and are upset to be getting attention for it?!

I think the best rule for this is to apply the same rules to facebook comments as you would to conversations in a public place.  It is not typically rude to jump into a conversation between acquaintances, but insisting on being part of every conversation might be in bad taste.  Especially if you have nothing of substance to add to that particular conversation.  Similarly, don't hijack facebook conversations to be about your pet topic - I've known of a few people on fb who have the tendency to do this.
Title: Re: Facebook Etiquette
Post by: Calistoga on February 14, 2013, 10:28:17 AM
Here's something I run in to all the time.

I'm an Atheist. I have a lot of outspoken Atheist friends. I also have plenty of religious friends. From time to time, I get in to debates on Facebook with my religious friends, and we all stay very civil. Then I have one Atheist friend who is a total jerk to everyone who disagrees with him- he berates people's intelligence to the point that they refuse to have conversations with ME because of his bad behavior. I've asked him to stop, he says he won't and that if I have a problem with him I'll just have to block him. Is it unrealistic of me to expect all of my friends to be polite to each other on my page?
Title: Re: Facebook Etiquette
Post by: diesel_darlin on February 14, 2013, 10:32:44 AM
I don't think it is unrealistic at all. All of my friends know that I don't tolerate ugly on my page. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, and I welcome all of them. Civilly.

I honestly think FB is like someones living room. If you wouldnt walk into their living room and curse them out, dont do it on Facebook.

Title: Re: Facebook Etiquette
Post by: Twik on February 15, 2013, 03:27:47 PM
It's unrealistic to expect civility from someone who doesn't want to be civil. So, if you want your page to be civil, I'm afraid he won't be able to be part of it.
Title: Re: Facebook Etiquette
Post by: MrTango on February 18, 2013, 10:25:35 AM
Here's something I run in to all the time.

I'm an Atheist. I have a lot of outspoken Atheist friends. I also have plenty of religious friends. From time to time, I get in to debates on Facebook with my religious friends, and we all stay very civil. Then I have one Atheist friend who is a total jerk to everyone who disagrees with him- he berates people's intelligence to the point that they refuse to have conversations with ME because of his bad behavior. I've asked him to stop, he says he won't and that if I have a problem with him I'll just have to block him. Is it unrealistic of me to expect all of my friends to be polite to each other on my page?

I don't think it's an unrealistic expectation at all.  Unfortunately, you may have to enforce it through management of your friend lists, or by de-friending certain people altogehter.
Title: Re: Facebook Etiquette
Post by: Sharnita on February 25, 2013, 07:22:59 PM
He told you he ntends to insult people until/unless you block him - I'd block him.  He seems aware of and OK with the prospect.  (I think it is possible he might take pride in "scaring people/winning arguments" so successfully that he forced you to take action)
Title: Re: Facebook Etiquette
Post by: JonGirl on February 26, 2013, 04:10:59 AM


I'm sick of people requesting games to me.
I don't want to play so just stop it, yeah?
Title: Re: Facebook Etiquette
Post by: Yvaine on February 26, 2013, 07:43:58 AM
There is no rule that requires people to *not* comment on a posted link or item.

I was shocked that this needed to be stated, until I heard one of the DJs on the radio this morning complaining about "serial commenters" who comment on every status update.  Really?  You posted something in public and are upset to be getting attention for it?!

I think the best rule for this is to apply the same rules to facebook comments as you would to conversations in a public place.  It is not typically rude to jump into a conversation between acquaintances, but insisting on being part of every conversation might be in bad taste.  Especially if you have nothing of substance to add to that particular conversation.  Similarly, don't hijack facebook conversations to be about your pet topic - I've known of a few people on fb who have the tendency to do this.

Oh goodness yes. You can't have a comment thread about a fluffy fun topic without some of these FBers wandering in to berate you for talking about this when there's world hunger or war or high fructose corn syrup.
Title: Re: Facebook Etiquette
Post by: Sharnita on February 26, 2013, 05:20:42 PM


I'm sick of people requesting games to me.
I don't want to play so just stop it, yeah?

Those are likely autorequests done by fb and the game.  They are done periodically as the person plays, they don't pick and choose who sees them.
Title: Re: Facebook Etiquette
Post by: diesel_darlin on February 26, 2013, 10:32:22 PM


I'm sick of people requesting games to me.
I don't want to play so just stop it, yeah?


I block the games. Go to your App Center, and there is a little X in the top corner of the game request. You will then be given the option to ignore the request, block the game, or ignore all future requests from whomever sent you the request. :)
Title: Re: Facebook Etiquette
Post by: sunnygirl on April 02, 2013, 11:53:29 AM
There is no rule that requires people to *not* comment on a posted link or item.

I was shocked that this needed to be stated, until I heard one of the DJs on the radio this morning complaining about "serial commenters" who comment on every status update.  Really?  You posted something in public and are upset to be getting attention for it?!

I think the best rule for this is to apply the same rules to facebook comments as you would to conversations in a public place.  It is not typically rude to jump into a conversation between acquaintances, but insisting on being part of every conversation might be in bad taste.  Especially if you have nothing of substance to add to that particular conversation.  Similarly, don't hijack facebook conversations to be about your pet topic - I've known of a few people on fb who have the tendency to do this.

I agree. I think it depends how it's done, and the relationship between you and the other person. If it's someone I know quite well, it's fine, but if not it can sometimes be a bit creepy or stalker-like. Practically every woman I know has a story of friending some guy she doesn't know or doesn't know well (like a co-worker or something), and having him immediately start 'liking' or commenting on everything single thing she posts - occasionally even going through years' of old posts and pics to like them. It's the equivalent of being introduced to someone at a party or at work, and them following you around the entire day laughing loudly at everything you say, no matter who it was aimed at.
Title: Re: Facebook Etiquette
Post by: Syrse on April 06, 2013, 06:43:38 PM
- Do not take a picture of a friend's ultrasound with your phone to upload on facebook. Don't act all surprised if she yells at you. 'Oh, I didn't realize you didn't tell everyone yet' is not an acceptable excuse. If it's not your news to share, then stay out of it!

- Oh, and bonus points for people who post every single ultrasound when they know there are friends out there trying to have kids, then act all surprised when said friends remove them from the feed list.

- Do not post pictures of teddy bears being hanged. I will defriend you.
Title: Re: Facebook Etiquette
Post by: bloo on January 06, 2014, 07:48:07 PM
- Do not take a picture of a friend's ultrasound with your phone to upload on facebook. Don't act all surprised if she yells at you. 'Oh, I didn't realize you didn't tell everyone yet' is not an acceptable excuse. If it's not your news to share, then stay out of it!

- Oh, and bonus points for people who post every single ultrasound when they know there are friends out there trying to have kids, then act all surprised when said friends remove them from the feed list.

- Do not post pictures of teddy bears being hanged. I will defriend you.

These are excellent points but I wanted to comment on your second point.

On the flip side - If you're trying very hard to have kids, it is not going to be cathartic or therapeutic to post (daily) updates spewing, at best, snark, or at worst, vitriol directed at parents that jokingly complain about some parenting annoyance.

Insert whatever struggle you're having...but spewing at those who do not have that struggle and are making minor complaints or jokes is not helpful and may get you blocked or unfriended.
Title: Re: Facebook Etiquette
Post by: purplerainbow on October 05, 2014, 04:56:37 PM
- Do not take a picture of a friend's ultrasound with your phone to upload on facebook. Don't act all surprised if she yells at you. 'Oh, I didn't realize you didn't tell everyone yet' is not an acceptable excuse. If it's not your news to share, then stay out of it!


^ I like to apply the above to all sorts of news - new jobs, engagements, moving house, anything really.
Commenting after the person has shared the news is fine, but some people would really rather have the chance to tell their close family and friends about some events/circumstances first, rather than have them find out from someone else along with 600 other people on Facebook.
Title: Re: Facebook Etiquette
Post by: Free Range Hippy Chick on October 10, 2014, 07:57:33 AM
It is generally accepted that vaguebooking - posting cryptic updates which might be insider jokes, or might be a whine for sympathy, but which are most certainly designed to have people asking 'why? what's happened?' - is irritating and impolite.

Opinion is divided about whether or not Facebook is the correct place to post notice of a death.

Vaguebooking about a death - ' :'( John' so that we have to ask 'what about John?' - is totally crass and will make you look like an attention hound who wants to make John's death all about you.