Etiquette Hell

Etiquette School is in session! => "What an interesting assumption." => Topic started by: Piratelvr1121 on March 22, 2010, 09:14:58 AM

Title: "Are you two related?"
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on March 22, 2010, 09:14:58 AM
This wasn't so much an offensive question, but an interesting assumption nonetheless.   

BG:  I've mentioned before that one of my dearest friends is in her 50's, and I'm 31.  We met online and hit it off because of a shared love for Pirates of the Caribbean, Johnny Depp, and a love of all things Irish.   Plus we have the same taste in clothes and jewelry.  Most of the time when we're talking online, on the phone or in person we don't notice the age difference.     She doesn't look her age, either, as she looks more like she's in her early 40's, at most.   

I went to meet and visit her last summer in her hometown in Iowa last summer and we had a grand time shopping and just hanging out.   

Here's where the interesting assumption comes in.   A few places we went to outside of her hometown (It's small and they all know her, her sister and niece) to go shopping, she'd tell them I was visiting from Maryland and joke about our age difference and they'd ask, "Are you two related?"  We'd tell them "Oh no, just good friends."

We don't look a lot alike apart from having fair complexions and auburn hair.   But then again if you saw her and her niece together you wouldn't necessarily guess they were related if you didn't already know.   And I don't look like all of my relatives either. 

It's just an interesting assumption, I think, that two people hanging out who are a significant age difference are probably related.   
Title: Re: "Are you two related?"
Post by: goblue2539 on March 22, 2010, 09:18:57 AM
I'm not even sure it's because of the age difference.  I have a close friend who is only a few years older than me, and we get the "Are you sisters?" thing all the time.  It seems to have more to do with how we relate to each other than any age or appearance commonality. 

It is an assumption, but it's certainly not a bad one.  :D  I think it's really cool that you're close enough and comfortable enough for people to assume you're actually relatives.
Title: Re: "Are you two related?"
Post by: Squeaks on March 22, 2010, 09:31:12 AM
Sometimes subtle mannerisms can really show through and make people seem related. 

So a slight visual resemblance, combined with certain interactions and similar mannerisms can lead to the question.

FWIW I do not think it is a rude question.  "related" does mean anything derogatory or comment on age, it seems to mostly be a conversation starter.
Title: Re: "Are you two related?"
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on March 22, 2010, 09:39:14 AM
I've had that happen too, with another very good friend who is only a few months younger than I.   Though we were asked if we were cousins.    

It's not a bad assumption at all, as I wouldn't mind being related to either of these friends!    I didn't think it was rude or offensive, just interesting and to be honest, flattering one! 
Quote
Sometimes subtle mannerisms can really show through and make people seem related. 

So a slight visual resemblance, combined with certain interactions and similar mannerisms can lead to the question.


Interestingly enough, a coworker of my friend was listening to the two of us talk to each other and observed that our voices sound very similar.   So it could have been that, too.   
Title: Re: "Are you two related?"
Post by: Sophia on March 22, 2010, 10:58:53 AM
I get that fairly regularly with one friend.  It is so common, I now call him "the brother I don't have".  It gets across the idea that while yes, we are close, and yes, we might have come in one car, he's had health problems.  No, we aren't married to each other, and No, we aren't having an affair.  I think it has more to do with mannerisms and that we've known each other for 15+ years.  Plus, If we brought in photos of our parents, people would say that he looks more like my dad's kid than I do. 
Title: Re: "Are you two related?"
Post by: gollymolly2 on March 22, 2010, 11:04:11 AM
It's not really an assumption if they're asking, right?
Title: Re: "Are you two related?"
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on March 22, 2010, 11:17:26 AM
I guess not, really.   After one of these encounters while we were in Cedar Rapids, I commented to my friend about the people who had asked if we were related.   One person did ask how we were related and we told them we're not. 

She said "Well I don't think we look related, it's probably the fact that you're visiting from out of town and our age difference.   They're probably not used to seeing such an age gap between friends, so they assume we must be related."

I was telling a local acquaintance about this friend, as we were talking about people we knew who chose to never marry.   I mentioned that this friend is one of them.   The acquaintance, who is just a year younger than my friend, smiled and said "Well I'm sure she'll change her mind when she's older and meets someone..." thus assuming the friend is close to my age.  I kind of chuckled and informed her that my friend's in her 50's and has long given up on finding a man, and is happier being single. :)   

My friend told me that when she told her sister how old I am before I came out to visit last year, she said with surprise "Oh! Okay!"  N said "Well some people seem to be surprised that my best friend is a woman young enough to be my daughter!"  :D

Title: Re: "Are you two related?"
Post by: Luci on March 22, 2010, 11:54:32 AM
I went to a flea market with a friend 20 years younger than I am and we were really having a great time. One of the vendors asked if we were related, we looked at each other in shock, and I said to my friend, "Oh my golly! I AM old enough to be your mother!" I don't think either one of us truly realized it before, even though we had discussed cultural differences in our age groups. I am also just a tad older than her eldest sibling.

At least the vendor didn't ask me if I was Mom. Whew! Vendor dodged an etiquette bullet on that one, didn't she?
Title: Re: "Are you two related?"
Post by: Hushabye on March 22, 2010, 12:14:40 PM
I get that with my husband, and I still haven't come up with a good response to "Are you two brother and sister?" that doesn't immediately result in me bursting into laughter or being grossed out.
Title: Re: "Are you two related?"
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on March 22, 2010, 01:01:39 PM
I went to a flea market with a friend 20 years younger than I am and we were really having a great time. One of the vendors asked if we were related, we looked at each other in shock, and I said to my friend, "Oh my golly! I AM old enough to be your mother!" I don't think either one of us truly realized it before, even though we had discussed cultural differences in our age groups. I am also just a tad older than her eldest sibling.

At least the vendor didn't ask me if I was Mom. Whew! Vendor dodged an etiquette bullet on that one, didn't she?

LOL!! Yeah, she did.   My friend has been pointing out that she'd old enough to be my mother since we found out each other's ages when we met online two years ago.   She often jokes about our age difference and the fact that she does mother me often.   It's nice though, when you're close enough to someone that you don't notice the age difference until it's pointed out.   Like when one of you can remember the 70's and the other was born during them! LOL!
Title: Re: "Are you two related?"
Post by: PeasNCues on March 22, 2010, 01:03:55 PM
I think it's an assumption, but I don't think it is a rude one.
Title: Re: "Are you two related?"
Post by: Pinky830 on March 22, 2010, 01:04:55 PM
Meh, it happens. I work for an old friend. We are both tall with reddish hair and freckles. We really don't look anything alike...you would never confuse us with each other...but we are vaguely reminiscent of each other if that makes sense. A few clients have asked if we're related.  
Title: Re: "Are you two related?"
Post by: WolfWay on March 23, 2010, 07:22:17 AM
My flatmate and I get the "are you sisters?" question all the time. I think we've picked up a lot of mannerisms from each other over the years.

I also had the same question a lot at school about myself and another girl in the same class as we were both blonde, bespectacled and fat. We had nothing in common with each other except for a vague physical resemblance. I did get a little sick of being called by her name though.

On a slight tangent: I've two widely different assumptions about my poor mum not being related to me.

When I was a teenage, I've had people assume my mum was my grandmother.  :(

Once I hit my twenties, people refused to believe that my mum was really old enough to be my mum. I didn't mention that I have an older brother who is eleven years older than me. Their heads might have exploded.  ;D (My mum has aged fantastically. She's past retirement age, but people still assume she's only in her 40s).
Title: Re: "Are you two related?"
Post by: Suze on March 23, 2010, 07:32:54 AM
I have some really good friends that people can't figure out if I am related to the Hubby or the Wife......

looks more the hubby and actions more the wife.

no relationship other than the one that we supplied ourselves.  Brothers and Sisters.   Apparently I am the Sister she wished she got instead of the ones she did and the Sister he never had (only child)

and he is the big brother I never got and she is the sister close to my age. (my only sib is 14 years older than I am)

Her and I went "shopping" the other weekend and got sooooo stupit and silly by the time we got home......

and I am 50 and she is 47 and we were giggling like two 16 year olds.....
Title: Re: "Are you two related?"
Post by: BeagleMommy on March 23, 2010, 09:48:11 AM
I'm not really sure it's an assumption, but it is not rude.  My brother and I get the opposite.  I favor my mom and bro is a carbon copy of dad (my parents joke that they recycled themselves).  He is about two inches taller and I have more of a rosy complexion.  We both have dark brown hair and brown eyes.

People will often ask "How do you know each other?".

We've started answering "DNA".  ;D
Title: Re: "Are you two related?"
Post by: PeasNCues on March 23, 2010, 11:03:25 AM
ShieldMaiden and I are very different.

I am 6ft tall, large framed, red head with green eyes and pale skin.

ShieldMaiden is 5'2'', petite, blonde haired, blue eyes and tanner skin.

So, usually, when people ask us this, it's usually in disbelief. I even had a teacher who I had known for 3 years insist that I was adopted lol!

Oh, and ShieldMaiden is older than I am (by 15 months, but still...).  ;D
Title: Re: "Are you two related?"
Post by: Hushabye on March 23, 2010, 04:33:34 PM
I meant to add earlier that I don't really think the question is rude.  A better way of asking would probably be "How do you know each other?" but "Are you related?" isn't rude, per se.  It's just icky when DH and I are holding hands or he has his arm around my waist or something...
Title: Re: "Are you two related?"
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on April 05, 2010, 05:31:04 PM
Funny thing is I showed a picture of my friend and I to an acquaintance who hasn't met her and knows we're not related.    She said my friend looks like she could be my mother.    So maybe we do look more alike than we realize? 

Heehee...I didn't tell my friend the acquaintance said that though, as she doesn't like being reminded that she is old enough to be my mother and certainly wouldn't want to hear someone thought she looked old enough to be.   I just told her that someone else said we looked related. :)

(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v630/Savvy_Annie/JanieandJadiewithcornfield.jpg)
Title: Re: "Are you two related?"
Post by: MaggieB on April 06, 2010, 04:55:16 AM
From this picture, it totally looks like you could be related!

Saying "Oh, are you and your mother having a fun day together?" is an assumption.  Asking "are you two related?" is just striking up some small talk.  It actually sounds like the opposite of making an assumption; it's asking for clarification.
Title: Re: "Are you two related?"
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on April 06, 2010, 08:40:48 AM
That's true, it really isn't an assumption.   And certainly not a far-fetched one since I've been told by a lot of people we do look related.
Title: Re: "Are you two related?"
Post by: iridaceae on April 06, 2010, 08:48:04 AM
I have a friend that I met when we were adults, and aside from both being white females of approximately the same age and build look nothing alike.  We have gotten asked if we are sisters on more than one occasion.  I think it's the way we interact with each other.
Title: Re: "Are you two related?"
Post by: Phonix on June 02, 2010, 12:40:57 PM
So, how about this. I had surgery in March. My mother came down and took me to the hospital. At least 3 people asked if we were sisters!
Arghh. She is only 19 years older than me and we are both short, glasses and chubby but still! She, of course, thinks it is great! Oh, and this was before I had the surgery.

ETA: because I can spell!
Title: Re: "Are you two related?"
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on June 02, 2010, 01:00:58 PM
My actual mother was mistaken as my sister at times.    Though once she came into an office where I was working to pick up the boys' carseats since I'd forgotten to leave them at the daycare, as she would be picking them up that day.   

After she left my coworkers asked who the woman was and when I told them she was my mother they were surprised and said we didn't look related at all.   
Title: Re: "Are you two related?"
Post by: drebay on June 02, 2010, 01:03:00 PM
I get that with my husband, and I still haven't come up with a good response to "Are you two brother and sister?" that doesn't immediately result in me bursting into laughter or being grossed out.

One you think of one, let me know, because we have the same issue.
Title: Re: "Are you two related?"
Post by: Animala on June 02, 2010, 01:24:01 PM
I have to say that my younger sisters look absolutely nothing alike.  My younger sister is very, very dark coloring, tall and thin.  She is constantly asked if she is native American, Greek, Italian, whatever and "aristocratic" features which is from my mom's side.  My other sister is incredible fair, has light coloring, very round and has delicate feature.  She takes after my dad's side.  There isn't one feature they have in common from their hair to their feet. 

Incredibly people ask them if they are twins.  Not fraternal twins, but identical twins.  It is really weird.
Title: Re: "Are you two related?"
Post by: MrsJWine on June 02, 2010, 01:51:15 PM
There could be many reasons, not just the age difference.  My adopted sister is blond and fair-haired, just like my biological sister and me.  I've heard, "Oh, you look so much alike!" about a trillion times.  My other sister and I look nothing alike, but we have eerily similar facial expressions, mannerisms, turns of phrase, everything.  It's obvious that we're sisters if you spend more than a minute with us.  Plus, auburn hair is not all that common.  Two people hanging out together who both have an unusual feature?  Not a huge leap to surmise they might be sisters.

Edited for poor grammar that would have made my English teacher grandmother spasm.
Title: Re: "Are you two related?"
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on June 02, 2010, 02:25:09 PM
Well one of my friend's coworkers, when hearing us talk to each other, said our voices sound alike.   
Title: Re: "Are you two related?"
Post by: Hushabye on June 02, 2010, 03:58:01 PM
I get that with my husband, and I still haven't come up with a good response to "Are you two brother and sister?" that doesn't immediately result in me bursting into laughter or being grossed out.

One you think of one, let me know, because we have the same issue.

You have my sympathies, drebay!  I'm sitting here right now looking at one of our wedding photos, trying to figure out how anyone would mistake us for siblings, and it's just not coming to me.  Maybe it's because we're the same height?  Oh, and we're both fair-skinned.  That's all I got.

We live in Kentucky, so I always have to bite down on the temptation to say, "Yep, and we're married, too!"   :P
Title: Re: "Are you two related?"
Post by: Viscountess on June 02, 2010, 05:41:29 PM
Some people have asked if my boyfriend was my brother.  We both have blond hair and blue eyes.  I have to admit that their reactions when I corrected them were absolutely priceless.  ;D
Title: Re: "Are you two related?"
Post by: Delia DeLyons on June 03, 2010, 08:14:41 AM
Some people have asked if my boyfriend was my brother.  We both have blond hair and blue eyes.  I have to admit that their reactions when I corrected them were absolutely priceless.  ;D

Unfortunately, I get the opposite.. my brother and I go out together alot - we have the same friends and just generally really enjoy each others' company...

People always think we're dating... it's affected his "game" with the ladies even, haha...and ew.  :-X

Also, alas.... there is a significant age difference between me and my heart's delight, China Cat... and so, time to time we get the wince inducing comment of "Oh, is this your daughter?"  He does not look his age at all, more like 10 years younger, but I do look young for mine, I still get carded everywhere...even for cigarettes! :-/  There have been at least two instances in the beginning of our now 4 year relationship where we were both so flabbergasted that someone would assume that (he is quite Italian and tan with light brown hair, whereas I am very Irish, alabaster complexion, freckles and black hair) that we just kinda bumbled and mumbled and pretty much left the assumer thinking they were right...   :-[

Now I just say, "Ha, oh no.. I am his girlfriend... but I'll try to take that as a compliment..."  ::)  Letting the assumer now be the embarrassed one, no reason I should be embarrassed for having found the love of my life!!   ;D
Title: Re: "Are you two related?"
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on June 03, 2010, 08:30:23 AM
My hubby's told me that when he shows people a picture he has of me in his wallet they refuse to believe his wife is the same age as him and tease him about robbing the cradle.  LOL.    We're both 31 and neither of us really look it.   Actually he's almost 32 but he's got this round baby face that makes him look younger.   

I rarely get carded anymore, so I guess I at least look 21.   
Title: Re: "Are you two related?"
Post by: Emmy on June 05, 2010, 01:43:11 PM
DH was in the cell phone store to get an issue fixed.  He had a pic of me on the cell phone, in the picture I dressed in a colorful sweater and matching hat and standing by a Christmas tree.  The lady in the store asked if the picture was of his daughter.  He was 36 and I was 33.  I think DH looks great for his age in terms of having great skin and no wrinkles, but he does have a more manly than boyish face and some distinguished gray hairs mixed in with the brown.

Most people who have made an assumption aloud assume we are a couple, although when I first met some of DH's friends, they assumed he robbed the cradle.
Title: Re: "Are you two related?"
Post by: baglady on June 05, 2010, 09:00:36 PM
I was born when my parents were 37 and 38, and this was at a time when it was pretty rare for people over 35 to have more kids. So I got mistaken for their granddaughter more than once. (And my siblings are much older, so my folks actually *did* have grandchildren close to my age.)

But what tops that was an acquaintance of mine who looks very tomboyish -- unisex wardrobe, crew cut. I thought she was a l*sbian for a long time because of her look and the fact that I met her at a Tret Fure concert (Tret is a l*sbian as are most of her fans).

But no. In her late 20s she married a guy in his early 40s ... and got mistaken for his *son*.
Title: Re: "Are you two related?"
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on July 06, 2010, 11:25:58 AM
I was born when my parents were 37 and 38, and this was at a time when it was pretty rare for people over 35 to have more kids. So I got mistaken for their granddaughter more than once. (And my siblings are much older, so my folks actually *did* have grandchildren close to my age.)

But what tops that was an acquaintance of mine who looks very tomboyish -- unisex wardrobe, crew cut. I thought she was a l*sbian for a long time because of her look and the fact that I met her at a Tret Fure concert (Tret is a l*sbian as are most of her fans).

But no. In her late 20s she married a guy in his early 40s ... and got mistaken for his *son*.

A few years ago my parents and brother took the boys for a weekend to visit my grandmother.  Brother was a senior in high school (we're 8 years apart) and my folks told me that in different areas of VA, people thought they were the parents, and in other area, they thought the boys were my brothers.  

And my boys (18 months apart) are always mistaken for twins. 
Title: Re: "Are you two related?"
Post by: JacklynHyde on July 06, 2010, 01:53:50 PM
Rockhubby and his high school girlfriend used to be mistaken for fraternal twins, they looked so much alike (still do).  They used to freak people out with random PDAs, which were not exactly polite but definitely funny.

On the other hand, I've hung out with my brother and been asked if we were a couple.  Ewww.  I know we don't look that much alike, but ewww.
Title: Re: "Are you two related?"
Post by: BettyDraper on July 06, 2010, 02:11:56 PM
I went to a flea market with a friend 20 years younger than I am and we were really having a great time. One of the vendors asked if we were related, we looked at each other in shock, and I said to my friend, "Oh my golly! I AM old enough to be your mother!" I don't think either one of us truly realized it before, even though we had discussed cultural differences in our age groups. I am also just a tad older than her eldest sibling.

At least the vendor didn't ask me if I was Mom. Whew! Vendor dodged an etiquette bullet on that one, didn't she?

Last year in a hotel lobby in Las Vegas a tour vendor barged up to my sister and me and asked "So, is this a mother-daughter trip?!"  with a big beaming smile.  We looked at one another, aghast, since there is less than two years difference in our ages.  Still wondering which one she thought was the mother, and which the daughter.  Frankly, not sure I want to know, though!    >:D
Title: Re: "Are you two related?"
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on July 06, 2010, 06:53:19 PM
One day when on a bike trip with my two aunts, the older one came up to me with a big grin on her face and told me that someone mistook us for sisters.    And this was when I was 15 and she was in her mid-30's.   Can't blame her for being psyched.  I would have been too. :)
Title: Re: "Are you two related?"
Post by: Jocelyn on July 06, 2010, 10:05:50 PM
My sister and father went on a guided tour together, and shared a hotel room rather than trying to room with strangers. My sister is married, so she has a different last name, and looks like Mom's side of the family; no one has ever said to her, 'oh, you look just like your dad'. >:D There were different tour guides joining the trip along the way, and some of them just had to try to solve the myster. ::) One guide asked my sister, 'have you known your friend long?' to which she replied, 'All my life; he's my father.' The man blushed.
Title: Re: "Are you two related?"
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on July 08, 2010, 10:46:34 AM
When my boys were preschool age, about 3 and 2 1/2, I used to take them to a local Big Chain Bookstore to play with the trains in the children's section.    One day when I was there, another mother looked at them and asked "Twins?" 

Granted, they could pass for fraternal twins as they do look a good deal alike aside from eye color and height.   I smiled and told her "No, actually, they're one day short of being exactly 18 months apart."  She nodded and said "Ohhhh, Irish twins, then." 

When I relayed this story to my dad later, he laughed and said "Actually that term applies to siblings born within 12 months of each other." 
Title: Re: "Are you two related?"
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on July 08, 2010, 11:10:39 AM
Just remember another related *no pun intended* assumption.

BG: When DH was 7mos old, his bio-father had enough of fatherhood.  Just left MIL and Dh, and filed for divorce, leaving MIL with a lot of credit card debt that he'd racked up.   When DH was about 3 or 4, MIL remarried, and her new husband (FIL) adopted DH and is "Dad" to DH. /BG

When DH and I first started dating, I didn't know this and asked him if he looked like his mom or his dad.   He said "Oh, I look like my father, but my dad and I look nothing alike."   He explained the difference and went on to tell me what happened when he forgot to tell his ex this information.

Now, since DH and FIL do not share any DNA, of course they wouldn't resemble each other physically, though personality wise they make a good argument for Nurture vs. Nature.    DH and MIL are of stocky build, average height, overweight, and blue eyed, and DH is blonde.   From pictures I've seen, he bears very strong resemblance to his bio-father.  Now, FIL is rail thin (buck 40 soaking wet and holding a brick-maybe), avg height, thinning dark hair and dark eyes, and an olive complexion. 

Not knowing any of this, not even that FIL was not DH's biological father, when the ex girlfriend first met them, she took one look at FIL and said to DH, "Wow, you don't look ANYTHING like your Dad!!"    I think it might have been the only time I felt bad for her, or was annoyed with DH on her behalf, since he hadn't warned her and let her walk into it.   He said "Well, I thought she'd be able to tell just by looking at him that I don't share DNA with him!!!"  ::)

He did learn from his mistake though, and I'm so glad! LOL!
Title: Re: "Are you two related?"
Post by: BettyDraper on July 08, 2010, 11:27:10 AM
I don't really see the faux pas there, or any reason to feel sorry for anyone.  It's not a gaffe to assume that someone is bio-related to the person they introduce as "Dad" and trite comments about family resemblances are pretty standard conversational fare when people meet for the first time. And there is no shame in having or being an adoptive parent so why not simply clear up the matter and move on?

No one needed to feel embarrassed or apologetic. 
Title: Re: "Are you two related?"
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on July 08, 2010, 12:47:20 PM
I don't really see the faux pas there, or any reason to feel sorry for anyone.  It's not a gaffe to assume that someone is bio-related to the person they introduce as "Dad" and trite comments about family resemblances are pretty standard conversational fare when people meet for the first time. And there is no shame in having or being an adoptive parent so why not simply clear up the matter and move on?

No one needed to feel embarrassed or apologetic. 

This is true, but (and I should have included this) according to DH there was a very awkward silence on IL's side for a few moments, and they both gave DH a look like "You didn't tell her?"  And apparently ex-gf was embarrassed because of the silence. 

They're not ashamed of the adoption, but DH's biological father is just something they very rarely discuss and when it is brought up, it's closed shortly after.   So they might have expected (hoped) that DH would have told her prior to the meeting so they wouldn't have to explain it. 
Title: Re: "Are you two related?"
Post by: GoldenGemini on July 08, 2010, 07:38:07 PM
I tend to get the opposite of that!  Everyone says "gee, you look like your Dad". 

Except he is my step-father, so no actual DNA sharing. I find it funny and it doesn't bother him.
Title: Re: "Are you two related?"
Post by: Lady Snowdon on July 09, 2010, 08:53:29 AM
I tend to get the opposite of that!  Everyone says "gee, you look like your Dad". 

Except he is my step-father, so no actual DNA sharing. I find it funny and it doesn't bother him.

While I was in London in 2001, I visited my step-father's cousin.  He, apparently, hadn't told her that he'd adopted me (no blood relation) and I never thought to mention it when I talked to her to set up the meeting.  When I met her in person, the first thing she said was "Oh, you have the *lastname* eyes!".  Ummm....yeah.  Awkward moment!  After I told my step-dad, he joked that it was the best argument for nuture over nature he'd ever heard!
Title: Re: "Are you two related?"
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on July 09, 2010, 11:14:42 AM
I swear, there are times I wonder if my friend and I are somehow related somewhere back.   Aside from some personality differences, like being more outspoken and outgoing than I am, and our differences in build - I'm petite (5'2") and she's tall and big boned.  Not overweight, but as she says, "there's not a petite thing about me!"   But aside from that, we're a lot alike, and it's kinda scary that we think so much alike!

I've been told we have the same eyes (shape, I guess, since they're a different color) and same smile.
Title: Re: "Are you two related?"
Post by: pwv on July 09, 2010, 04:06:18 PM
Years ago, my stepmother arranged a surprise for my dad's 70th birthday, with all us kids, stepkids, and grandkids.  At the party, all their friends kept commenting how my brothers looked like stepmom, and how much (adopted) stepbrother looked like dad.
Title: Re: "Are you two related?"
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on August 11, 2010, 08:37:06 AM
So yesterday in OC, Nance & I went into one of those old time photo emporiums.  We had the idea to pose like Scarlett & Giselle from POTC (the two women always slapping Jack Sparrow) so we put on saloon girl outfits and chose a pirate ship background.  I think the people were a bit confused that we were mixing up our costumes and settings, but they didn't argue. 

Well we got into our costumes, given our accessories and directed in how to pose.   The girl who was taking our picture looked through the lens, then came over to me and said "Here, I need you to turn your head over towards your mom...friend? Sister..."  I think our expressions must have given it away that we're not mother and daughter.   I smiled and told the girl we're friends and was inwardly thinking "Poor Nance!"  LOL. 

The picture turned out real cute though and I'm going to get a frame for it and scan it.
Title: Re: "Are you two related?"
Post by: pinkunicorn on August 11, 2010, 12:36:05 PM
My boyfriend and I get that quite often when we go out. Because he's in his 50's and I'm in my 30's, a lot of people figure we're father/daughter...until I grab his hand or he puts his arm around my shoulder! LOL

But I agree w/ the OP, he and I are best friends, and we have so much in common & our personalities are so similar, niether of us notice our age difference.
Title: Re: "Are you two related?"
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on August 12, 2010, 05:40:55 PM
Now that friend is back home, I went to DH and said "Wow, Nance and I really got mistaken for relatives a lot more this year than when I went to visit her in Iowa last year.   Now that you've seen her in action and seen us together, what is it?   Similar looks? The way we interact?  Do we sound alike?" 

He said we definitely do look related, and said sometimes we acted like mother and daughter, sometimes we acted like sisters.   He also said that yes, our voices do sound very similar.

On our way back from OC on Tuesday, we drove through Salisbury and stopped by HQ of his company and got to meet his coworkers.  (He's a field engineer and only sees coworkers about 2-3 times a year)    Then this morning one of them called him and I overheard him laughing and saying "Yeah, I know.  They look alike, they talk alike, but believe it or not, they're not related!"   When he got off the phone he said it was one of the guys from HQ who thought Nance was his mother-in-law!   Though when we went through the office, DH did keep saying "I brought the family in!" without making the distinction that the tall blue eyed redhead was not actually related to us but family in another way.