Etiquette Hell

Etiquette School is in session! => "What an interesting assumption." => Topic started by: Alida on August 03, 2010, 06:53:29 PM

Title: DD gets to use this phrase
Post by: Alida on August 03, 2010, 06:53:29 PM
My 17 year old is bi-s*xual. I support her choices and, more importantly, I love her. What surprises me, though, is the reaction some of her friends' parents have had, people who have known her since she was 4 years old.

Her hair is short. She is growing it out, but it's cute. I've had short hair since I was 12, so I never thought twice about it. Apparently, though, this, combined with the fact she has a girlfriend, has a couple parents sure that DD is going to try to "turn" their daughters, even those with boyfriends! They've been pretty open with this opinion, too. I told DD "What an interesting assumption" may be her best route to go. And that she should be pretty proud that she's considered so darned influential ;)

Title: Re: DD gets to use this phrase
Post by: blue2000 on August 03, 2010, 07:32:35 PM
Gee, an accidental 'hello' from one of those people is going to cause their little precious to go bananas? They don't think much of their kids, do they? Or yours. :-\

I'd say "what an interesting assumption" is about the most polite way to put it.
Title: Re: DD gets to use this phrase
Post by: Hanna on August 03, 2010, 08:39:01 PM
That will work well in some situations.  In others, she might want to say:
"Do you really think gender preference so easily influenced?"

Maybe it will make them think about things and learn something.

I know openly living any life other than straight isn't an easy path , but I have seen changes in the last few years that are amazing.  And your DD is fortunate to have you!  Hugs to both of you. 
Title: Re: DD gets to use this phrase
Post by: WolfWay on August 05, 2010, 06:01:27 AM
Gee, an accidental 'hello' from one of those people is going to cause their little precious to go bananas?
Ah, but sometimes a hello isn't just a hello! As one of my g*a*y friends put it (after almost getting into a fight with some aggresive drunken homophobe while standing in line to get a drink), "Yes, of course I was flirting with you when I accidentally trod heavily on your foot."  ::)
Title: Re: DD gets to use this phrase
Post by: Ferrets on August 05, 2010, 07:44:50 AM
Apparently, though, this, combined with the fact she has a girlfriend, has a couple parents sure that DD is going to try to "turn" their daughters, even those with boyfriends!

Didn't you know? One's primary duty as a bi person is to recruit an army of Bi Minions for the cause. It's on the mission list we get with the membership card and everything. ;D

In your shoes, I'd be tempted to make the odd sarcastic comment about being "so concerned" that these hetero girls would "turn DD straight", but that's not E-Hell approved, and also something that could backfire far too easily. :P

Hugs to both of you. :)
Title: Re: DD gets to use this phrase
Post by: PeasNCues on August 05, 2010, 08:15:11 AM
I didn't know bi was catching.

Good for you for giving her the tools to deal with this type of ignorance in the most polite way possible.
Title: Re: DD gets to use this phrase
Post by: Namárië on August 05, 2010, 08:39:01 AM
Hugs for both you and your DD! It must be so frustrating to deal with the desire to explain just how ridiculous they are being, knowing that it probably won't make a difference. WAIA is a great response.

Just a warning, she also might want to prepare herself for invasive questions and comments about her scrabble life. Especially (in my experience) from young men. :-\
Title: Re: DD gets to use this phrase
Post by: Jolie_kitten on August 05, 2010, 08:45:46 AM
Oh yeah, I know the type of attitude... Some people seem to genuinely believe that sexual preferences are catching like the flu :D
A friend of mine has once been accused by an overly concerned and not entirely sane person that she'd turn her daughter into a lesbian; my friend was 100% straight- but an activist for gay people's rights.
Very smart and sensible people we share the space with.............
Title: Re: DD gets to use this phrase
Post by: blue2000 on August 05, 2010, 09:31:44 AM
Oh yeah, I know the type of attitude... Some people seem to genuinely believe that sexual preferences are catching like the flu :D
A friend of mine has once been accused by an overly concerned and not entirely sane person that she'd turn her daughter into a ********; my friend was 100% straight- but an activist for g*a*y people's rights.
Very smart and sensible people we share the space with.............

So you don't even have to be around a gay person? Just brush against someone who knows someone who is gay? Did Not-Entirely-Sane-Person realize that if that theory were true, we would all be gay - including her? Or is that too logical? :P
Title: Re: DD gets to use this phrase
Post by: AngelicGamer on August 05, 2010, 10:05:28 AM
Apparently, though, this, combined with the fact she has a girlfriend, has a couple parents sure that DD is going to try to "turn" their daughters, even those with boyfriends!

Didn't you know? One's primary duty as a bi person is to recruit an army of Bi Minions for the cause. It's on the mission list we get with the membership card and everything. ;D

Shushhh - you're giving away the secrets!    ;) ;D

Alida, could your DD get her friends to help stand up for her with their parents?  As in a shocked silence or other more etiquette approved way of stunning them?

I really don't have any other advice but (((hugs))) to you and your daughter.  Also Kudos to you for being so understanding - not a lot of parents are.
Title: Re: DD gets to use this phrase
Post by: Phoebe on August 06, 2010, 05:07:20 PM

Maybe it will make them think about things and learn something.

 

Just because they have a different opinion doesn't mean they're automatically wrong.  They may be thinking the same thing. 
Title: Re: DD gets to use this phrase
Post by: Amava on August 06, 2010, 05:13:59 PM

Maybe it will make them think about things and learn something.

 

Just because they have a different opinion doesn't mean they're automatically wrong.  They may be thinking the same thing. 
There is a difference between opinions and facts.
Title: Re: DD gets to use this phrase
Post by: Phoebe on August 06, 2010, 05:18:55 PM

Maybe it will make them think about things and learn something.

 

Just because they have a different opinion doesn't mean they're automatically wrong.  They may be thinking the same thing. 
There is a difference between opinions and facts.

Exactly.  And when someone needs to "learns something," it's generally assumed to be a fact that "needs" to be learned.  These are just opinions being discussed, not facts.  And I'm *not* saying sexual orientation is "contagious."
Title: Re: DD gets to use this phrase
Post by: Amava on August 06, 2010, 05:24:30 PM
I'm sorry Phoebe, I think I'm misunderstanding you, then. Never mind! :)
Title: Re: DD gets to use this phrase
Post by: Phoebe on August 06, 2010, 05:26:07 PM
I'm sorry Phoebe, I think I'm misunderstanding you, then. Never mind! :)
No worries  ;)  and certainly no reason to apologize  :)
Title: Re: DD gets to use this phrase
Post by: Ferrets on August 06, 2010, 05:29:39 PM

Maybe it will make them think about things and learn something.

Just because they have a different opinion doesn't mean they're automatically wrong.  They may be thinking the same thing.  
There is a difference between opinions and facts.

Exactly.  And when someone needs to "learns something," it's generally assumed to be a fact that "needs" to be learned.  These are just opinions being discussed, not facts.  And I'm *not* saying sexual orientation is "contagious."

I would say that what they certainly need to learn is that not every single bi person under the sun is out to "turn" their straight acquaintances; and, also, that simply having a bi friend is not by itself going to swerve someone's own sexuality. Both of which are facts. :)
Title: Re: DD gets to use this phrase
Post by: Alida on August 06, 2010, 05:47:57 PM
Thank you, everyone :)  We are very blessed, actually, in the family we come from. Homos*xuality and Bi-S*xuality is nothing new to my family, so it's not quite the shock that it can be for some.

Some of DD's friends do stand up to their parents, but some have drifted away (these are mostly 16 - 18 year olds). The stock eHell phrase has certainly come in handy!
Title: Re: DD gets to use this phrase
Post by: AngelicGamer on August 06, 2010, 06:18:43 PM
Some of DD's friends do stand up to their parents, but some have drifted away (these are mostly 16 - 18 year olds). The stock eHell phrase has certainly come in handy!

The bolded makes me happy.  I think it shows that your DD has some very good friends.  As for the others, the drifting may have not really been the bi and more that it was just time to let the friendship go.
Title: Re: DD gets to use this phrase
Post by: Kimblee on August 07, 2010, 01:47:22 PM
Wow... Your daughter must be hot stuff if she can convert straight girls.  ::)  (Eye roll for strange homophobic parents, not your DD)

This always confused me. People claim its a "mutation" to be g*a*y... yet apprently its contagious? As my dear friend J would say "Well, ya know if it was catching I'd be with a dude by now..." (His best friend is g*a*y and they are around each other so often that there's a joke that if BFF is sick, J and B(boyfriend) must be too.)