Etiquette Hell

General Etiquette => Life...in general => Topic started by: HeeBeeJeeBee on August 07, 2010, 06:09:00 PM

Title: Vegetable cop
Post by: HeeBeeJeeBee on August 07, 2010, 06:09:00 PM
My co-worker tends to have a salad almost every day for lunch.  I do not.  FWIW, it's not that I dislike salad or vegetables in general, but if I don't have some sort of fiber and protein at lunchtime, I am starving after work, and eat everything in sight until dinner.

Co-worker makes remarks about my lunch constantly, saying things like, "Oh lord forbid you eat anything green!" or "you wouldn't like this, it's actually good for you" or the more direct "are there any vegetables you do eat?"

I actually eat vegetables daily.  I use them in my cooking, I drink V8, etc.  I always get my 5 a day!

I usually just say something flippant to her, like, "Oh, policing my food again, are you?" or "don't worry about my food, you're not my mother" all in a joking, light tone.

Any other suggestions?
Title: Re: Vegetable cop
Post by: DottyG on August 07, 2010, 06:19:56 PM
I say just ignore her. She doesn't need to police your diet (as you already know). So, just let her comments fall into thin air.

Title: Re: Vegetable cop
Post by: June24 on August 07, 2010, 06:29:05 PM
Don't respond. Whenever she says something about your food, just say "mmmmm" or some other non-committal sound (no words). It'll make her uncomfortable to be left hanging, and she'll stop eventually.
Title: Re: Vegetable cop
Post by: sbtier on August 07, 2010, 07:30:13 PM
'Please stop making remarks about my food.'
Title: Re: Vegetable cop
Post by: DangerMouth on August 07, 2010, 07:37:51 PM
"Well, yesterday I had a salad of baby spinach, baby carrots and baby corn. Last night I dreamt their mothers came after me" ;D

Seriously, people commenting on your food are beyond obnoxious. Ignore.
Title: Re: Vegetable cop
Post by: Goog on August 07, 2010, 07:40:51 PM
"You must have a REALLY boring life if you feel the need to comment on the color of my lunch every day."
Title: Re: Vegetable cop
Post by: M-theory on August 07, 2010, 07:48:13 PM
Have her immigrate to Canada and get a job with ING so she can headbutt the brick wall that is my ex's refusal to eat any plant matter other than potatoes, white bread, and white rice. She'll either unlearn that annoying habit or end up institutionalized.
Title: Re: Vegetable cop
Post by: immadz on August 07, 2010, 08:15:19 PM
" Maybe, if you weren't always eating salad , you wouldn't feel the need to comment on my yummy meal. " >:D

Seriously though, ignore her. If she annoys you a lot you may always say " Your constant critique of my meals is bordering on creepy. Please stop passing these comments."
Title: Re: Vegetable cop
Post by: Raintree on August 07, 2010, 08:15:52 PM
Quote
Co-worker makes remarks about my lunch constantly, saying things like, "Oh lord forbid you eat anything green!" or "you wouldn't like this, it's actually good for you"

I know some e-hellions are tired of this phrase, but I think this is a perfect place for "what an interesting assumption."

Or, "You sure seem interested in my food."

I've used the latter in various MYOB situations: "You sure are interested in my..." or "You sure get worked up over..." depending on the subject matter/situation. It's a statement, not a question, and not a response to their interrogation or a defense of whatever it is they are critiquing, and therefore it generally leaves them nothing to come back at you with.

FWIW, I'm the same as you. I get my 5-10 fruits/veg per day, but it's rarely in the form of a salad. I find salads a nuisance to make and transport to work. If I don't eat some kind of starchy item and a protein at lunch, I'm passing out from hunger by 3 PM. Chances are, this person goes home and downs a quart of ice cream in private later.
Title: Re: Vegetable cop
Post by: blarg314 on August 07, 2010, 08:53:10 PM

If she keeps doing this, then ignoring her won't work.

I'd start with one of the stock phrases  like "My what an interesting assumption" or "Wow, you really are obsessed with my food, aren't you?"

If that doesn't work go more direct with "You know, having you insult my eating habits every day really takes away my appetite."

And if that doesn't work, wait until she starts in, give the icy stare of death, pick up your lunch and leave the room.




Title: Re: Vegetable cop
Post by: Nurvingiel on August 07, 2010, 08:59:55 PM
"There's nothing wrong with my lunch, and your comments about it are really getting tedious."
"Please stop making comments about my lunch."
"I told you to stop talking about my lunch."
Title: Re: Vegetable cop
Post by: It's good to be Queen on August 07, 2010, 09:50:29 PM
"So you've said" in a flat, expressionless voice.
Title: Re: Vegetable cop
Post by: magician5 on August 07, 2010, 10:46:06 PM
"Please enjoy your lunch and let me enjoy mine."
Title: Re: Vegetable cop
Post by: shhh its me on August 07, 2010, 11:15:50 PM

If she keeps doing this, then ignoring her won't work.

I'd start with one of the stock phrases  like "My what an interesting assumption" or "Wow, you really are obsessed with my food, aren't you?"

If that doesn't work go more direct with "You know, having you insult my eating habits every day really takes away my appetite."

And if that doesn't work, wait until she starts in, give the icy stare of death, pick up your lunch and leave the room.

OP isn't ignoring her now , she being witty back.

OP I think your co-worker may now think this is your and her daily routine she makes and inappropriate comment you zing her back.
Not playing anymore might work but I try honesty " I'm really getting sick of this everyday. let's stop the food police comedy routine"  if she continues after that I'd upgrade to " It's not really your concern. I'm not amused please stop."
Title: Re: Vegetable cop
Post by: Amava on August 08, 2010, 12:03:19 AM
Every time a topic like this comes up, I hear my great-aunt Anna's voice in my head, saying:
"Mind you own plate!"
Title: Re: Vegetable cop
Post by: Clara Bow on August 08, 2010, 03:48:41 AM
"And what I'm eating is your business because...?"

"I don't call you Rabbit Lady for the salads, do I? No? Then quit worrying about my food choices."

Title: Re: Vegetable cop
Post by: Kess on August 08, 2010, 11:27:55 AM
She may think this is just fun banter at the moment, and not realise you're not seeing it that way.  I'd give her one round of a slight variation on Merry Mrs Martin's suggestion, "<small sigh> You know, I'm getting kinda bored of this back-and-forth each day about my lunch.  Let's stop the food police comedy routine."  And then if she persists, follow it with something firmer, like one of the other PP's suggestionsa.
Title: Re: Vegetable cop
Post by: Mocha on August 08, 2010, 12:07:35 PM
Sometimes the best way to get someone to shut up is to agree with them, right or wrong.  There's not much she can say when you reply, "You're right.  I should eat more vegetables."

And if she notices that you still aren't eating your veggies at lunch, "You're right.  I may never reform."
Title: Re: Vegetable cop
Post by: Sharnita on August 08, 2010, 12:31:11 PM
It's a wonder she eats any vegetables at all when she keeps putting her foot in her mouth like that.
Title: Re: Vegetable cop
Post by: veryfluffy on August 08, 2010, 12:43:26 PM
The suggestions I have made sound snarky, and that may not be Ehell-approved, but sometimes just keeping up a joking tone is necessary if you can't actually avoid someone, eg a co-worker.

"Nee-ner-nee-ner-nee-ner!(siren noise) Here comes the food police again!"

"Have you got shares in a salad distributor or something? How is my lunch such a gripping subject for you?"

"I think I'd better come around to your house this evening, to make sure you are getting something more substantial for your dinner. I worry that all you ever seem to eat is salad."

"It's amazing how your halo is tinted the same shade of green as your lettuce."

Deadpan: "Some people suffer terrible flatulence if they eat too many veggies. It can be just awful being stuck in a room with them all afternoon." (This needs to be said vaguely and generally, so that she can't be sure you are referring to yourself or to her.)
Title: Re: Vegetable cop
Post by: secretrebel on August 09, 2010, 04:17:56 AM
This is one where the "okay" response might work. Dead pan tone, flat affect voice. Every time she comments on your food just reply "okay". It works with some people.
Title: Re: Vegetable cop
Post by: bopper on August 09, 2010, 08:08:06 AM
"I find I get too hungry in the afternoon if I just have a salad for lunch. THen I end up eating chocolate or something.  It will interest you to know that I do get my five a day, I just don't do it at work."
Title: Re: Vegetable cop
Post by: iridaceae on August 09, 2010, 08:16:28 AM
A friend had a button that said "I didn't claw my way to the top of the food chain to eat vegetables"- though he did; he just got tired of militant vegetarians and vegans (he was in college).

You could always try that.

Title: Re: Vegetable cop
Post by: Rosey on August 09, 2010, 08:24:59 AM
"You must have a REALLY boring life if you feel the need to comment on the color of my lunch every day."

I would want to say this, but I think it's kind of rude.

Perhaps a nicer version would be, "We need to come up with more interesting topics to talk about so you can stop focusing on my lunch!"
Title: Re: Vegetable cop
Post by: whatsanenigma on August 09, 2010, 08:31:12 AM
"I find I get too hungry in the afternoon if I just have a salad for lunch. THen I end up eating chocolate or something.  It will interest you to know that I do get my five a day, I just don't do it at work."

Although this, while polite, would reinforce her notion that she has a right to know anything at all about the OP's diet.

Maybe it's the case that the OP hasn't eaten anything green since 1979 but that's not the business of a co-worker.
Title: Re: Vegetable cop
Post by: Kiwichick on August 09, 2010, 08:37:22 AM
Oh I hate this sort of commentary.  I had someone once tell me that 'oh your diet is rubbish blah, blah, blah...'. 

Yeah, she could determine what I regularly ate based on the single solitary example she had.
Title: Re: Vegetable cop
Post by: Amava on August 09, 2010, 11:58:03 AM
"I find I get too hungry in the afternoon if I just have a salad for lunch. THen I end up eating chocolate or something.  It will interest you to know that I do get my five a day, I just don't do it at work."

Although this, while polite, would reinforce her notion that she has a right to know anything at all about the OP's diet.

Maybe it's the case that the OP hasn't eaten anything green since 1979 but that's not the business of a co-worker.
Oh, absolutely! I definitely wouldn't give that co-worker any explanation or information about my eating habits.
Title: Re: Vegetable cop
Post by: Yvaine on August 09, 2010, 12:02:07 PM
The last time a co-worker of mine did this, I responded with "Thanks Mom" and a smile. Possibly snarky, but I like to hope I defused it a little with the smile and friendly tone. She seemed to realize she was being nosy and segued into telling me how she didn't really have any room to talk because of XYZ unhealthy thing she'd eaten for breakfast.  ;D
Title: Re: Vegetable cop
Post by: Sharnita on August 09, 2010, 12:04:02 PM
I was thinking that I might offer to call her every time i did consume a vegetable. Promise you'll text her or call her every time you drink your v8 or have a veggie
Title: Re: Vegetable cop
Post by: hobish on August 09, 2010, 12:06:53 PM

Why is what i eat of such concern to you?

...and then actually sit there and wait for an answer; i bet there isn't one.
Title: Re: Vegetable cop
Post by: Elfmama on August 09, 2010, 07:14:46 PM

Why is what i eat of such concern to you?

...and then actually sit there and wait for an answer; i bet there isn't one.

"I'm concerned so that you don't get sick from your bad diet and I have to pick up your slack!"  Yes, the cow-orker would be rude to say that -- but she's already being rude to criticize the OP's food choices.
Title: Re: Vegetable cop
Post by: TootsNYC on August 09, 2010, 10:19:18 PM


I usually just say something flippant to her, like, "Oh, policing my food again, are you?" or "don't worry about my food, you're not my mother" all in a joking, light tone.

Any other suggestions?

Stop being to flippant, joking, and light.

Start being cold, firm, and maybe even a little bit testy. If you eat anywhere that you can leave, do so, in a slightly huffy way.

She's not getting any negative reinforcement, so of course she's keeping it up.
Title: Re: Vegetable cop
Post by: TootsNYC on August 09, 2010, 10:20:53 PM
Oh I hate this sort of commentary.  I had someone once tell me that 'oh your diet is rubbish blah, blah, blah...'. 

Yeah, she could determine what I regularly ate based on the single solitary example she had.

I bring my lunch from home, and it always has veggies, rice, small amount of meat.

People comment about how healthfully I eat.

Yeah, and after work I pick up potato chips, and when I get home I eat pudding, candy, cake, etc. I skip breakfast, skip dinner, etc.
Title: Re: Vegetable cop
Post by: bbgirl on August 10, 2010, 01:25:16 AM
There's nothing rude about being direct about a situation.  Dancing around it tends to let others think it's ok to continue in that vein.  Her commenting on your food choices is a passive aggressive way of passing judgement on your eating habits.  I'd suggest using a variation on the following:

Co-Worker's annoying comment..."..."
You " You know, CW, you seem to always notice what I eat.  It shouldn't concern you but just to ease your mind,  I do get my five servings in a day so you can stop worrying yourself that I don't eat healthy.  I'd appreciate no further comments on my lunches."

And go back to doing whatever you were doing. 

Title: Re: Vegetable cop
Post by: MerryCat on August 10, 2010, 02:16:44 AM
Would it be rude to respond with something along the lines of "And this would be any of your business because......?"

Perhaps "how kind of you to take an interest," would be politer.
Title: Re: Vegetable cop
Post by: whatsanenigma on August 10, 2010, 07:12:30 AM
There's nothing rude about being direct about a situation.  Dancing around it tends to let others think it's ok to continue in that vein.  Her commenting on your food choices is a passive aggressive way of passing judgement on your eating habits.  I'd suggest using a variation on the following:

Co-Worker's annoying comment..."..."
You " You know, CW, you seem to always notice what I eat.  It shouldn't concern you. but just to ease your mind,  I do get my five servings in a day so you can stop worrying yourself that I don't eat healthy.   I'd appreciate no further comments on my lunches."

And go back to doing whatever you were doing. 



I personally would rather say it like this, with leaving the crossed out part out. If she gets any reinforcement of this kind she will think that yes, she has a right to know what other people are eating over the course of a day, or really, ever.

But overall I agree with you.
Title: Re: Vegetable cop
Post by: JonGirl on August 10, 2010, 07:36:35 AM
Quote
Co-worker makes remarks about my lunch constantly, saying things like, "Oh lord forbid you eat anything green!" or "you wouldn't like this, it's actually good for you"

I know some e-hellions are tired of this phrase, but I think this is a perfect place for "what an interesting assumption."
Or, "You sure seem interested in my food."

I've used the latter in various MYOB situations: "You sure are interested in my..." or "You sure get worked up over..." depending on the subject matter/situation. It's a statement, not a question, and not a response to their interrogation or a defense of whatever it is they are critiquing, and therefore it generally leaves them nothing to come back at you with.

FWIW, I'm the same as you. I get my 5-10 fruits/veg per day, but it's rarely in the form of a salad. I find salads a nuisance to make and transport to work. If I don't eat some kind of starchy item and a protein at lunch, I'm passing out from hunger by 3 PM. Chances are, this person goes home and downs a quart of ice cream in private later.

Indeed.