Etiquette Hell

General Etiquette => Techno-quette => Topic started by: Clara Bow on August 13, 2010, 05:44:53 AM

Title: My Eyes! My Eyes!
Post by: Clara Bow on August 13, 2010, 05:44:53 AM
I made the glaring error of having most of my extended family on my facebook. I will never do this again.

Today on my newsfeed my cousin Jessi's husband had the following as a status: "There's something about making out with my topless wife in the dressing room at the Gap that makes me happy."

I now know way too much about my cousin. WAY too much.

Is there any polite way to say anything about this? Our grandparents, aunts, uncles (as in, her parents!!), cousins etc are all going to see that. I can just imagine my Aunt Leigh's reaction...she is a model of decorum and taste and somehow I don't think that she's going to be thrilled to hear that her daughter was nearly doing the hippity-dippity in a dressing room. Not to mention what Jessi's nieces are going to think when they see it.

My reply was "Now I know why the words 'family unity' give me hives...."
Title: Re: My Eyes! My Eyes!
Post by: Kasia_Kiwi on August 13, 2010, 07:42:07 AM
Two words: limited profile.

If someone posts such personal comments, it's likely they would not care who sees them, no matter what their status or level of decorum. Obviously, they want to be seen.  You can edit settings to restrict what you see from certain people but that's more a help to you than the other members of your family.
It's not really your responsibility to monitor what the rest of your family sees (especially the adults), you can be embarassed for your cousins, but don't jump into the hole with them.
Title: Re: My Eyes! My Eyes!
Post by: ettiquit on August 13, 2010, 08:09:39 AM
WHY do people think this is appropriate information to share?  The act itself I won't comment on, but why broadcast it?  I'd hide him from your feed.
Title: Re: My Eyes! My Eyes!
Post by: Windlass on August 13, 2010, 09:34:12 AM
Thanks to Facebook's new privacy settings, it's not necessary that EVERYONE sees what she says.  I have several "friends" lists set up on FB, which automatically filter out certain posts (Farmville people automatically don't see ANY of my posts, for instance).  I have another called "Shh!" for people who I really only want to share certain things with, so when I make a post that I feel might offend them for whatever reason, I simply select to exclude them.

It's possible your cousin's husband has sensitive people set aside on a list that won't see posts like this.  If YOU'RE uncomfortable with it, you can always bring it up to him that you'd maybe like to be left out of such, um, ruminations, but without being logged in to your relatives' FB accounts, you don't know for sure what they are or are not seeing.

Unless Nana is already adamantly voicing her approval, of course.
Title: Re: My Eyes! My Eyes!
Post by: PeasNCues on August 13, 2010, 09:51:18 AM
Does anybody really need to know that??

My goodness, that is TMI for ME and I don't even know them!
Title: Re: My Eyes! My Eyes!
Post by: Clara Bow on August 13, 2010, 11:14:16 AM
Kasia, I think that you make a good point that it's not to me to be the Facebook Sheriff. I didn't really intend to be...if Jessi doesn't mind her husband broadcasting their business then I can buy enough beandip to get through the next few weeks with Granny. I just don't want to see it.

Thanks for the privacy setting advice. I'm going to look into that.

It's not that I'm a prude...I just reserve the right to pick and choose who I have those "blue" conversations with. That and I think it's kind of nasty to tell the world about your private business.
Title: Re: My Eyes! My Eyes!
Post by: Larrabee on August 13, 2010, 11:19:03 AM
I'd be tempted to comment with your thread title!

More seriously, hide from your newsfeed and try to forget if you possibly can, there's not much else you can do.
Title: Re: My Eyes! My Eyes!
Post by: Twik on August 13, 2010, 11:41:01 AM
WHY do people think this is appropriate information to share?  The act itself I won't comment on, but why broadcast it?  I'd hide him from your feed.

I assume that the same impulse that made them think it was appropriate to do in the first place.
Title: Re: My Eyes! My Eyes!
Post by: Perfect Circle on August 13, 2010, 12:32:19 PM
I'm pretty liberal, but quite frankly I found it rather odd that anyone would like to share this sort of information on FB. I mean seriously? Who needs to know about people's private activities?
Title: Re: My Eyes! My Eyes!
Post by: sbtier on August 13, 2010, 01:11:47 PM
I'd let his parents and grandparents school him.   ;D
Title: Re: My Eyes! My Eyes!
Post by: Scritzy on August 13, 2010, 01:47:50 PM
Gad, if I posted something like that, I wonder what the friend who got all weird over my eating peach ice cream would have to say. My PM Inbox would probably explode!
Title: Re: My Eyes! My Eyes!
Post by: Seraphia on August 13, 2010, 02:20:57 PM
Wow. That's...um...wow. I think your response was ok. It let him know that, "hey I'm not terribly comfortable knowing that about you," without delving into "CRUD MONKEYS! EWWW grossie yuck yuck!" territory. And POD on limiting him from now on.

He can choose to continue to post about his intimate activities if he likes, but you most certainly do not have to read about it.
Title: Re: My Eyes! My Eyes!
Post by: CakeEater on August 13, 2010, 03:08:00 PM
I guess her family can be grateful he was making out with his wife and not someone else. ???
Title: Re: My Eyes! My Eyes!
Post by: blarg314 on August 13, 2010, 09:39:25 PM

I'm picturing a response from a friend

"Thinking about your topless wife makes *me* happy too!"
 >:D
Title: Re: My Eyes! My Eyes!
Post by: Brentwood on August 13, 2010, 09:42:57 PM
While that is TMI for anyone, think about this. There is apparently a fan page called "Morning Sex" - consider how I felt when I saw that my son-in-law had "liked" it.


 :P
Title: Re: My Eyes! My Eyes!
Post by: Master_Edward on August 13, 2010, 10:47:03 PM
That's just so Eeeeewwww! It's so wrong in so many ways I don't even know where to start. Frankly I wouldn't say anything because I think it's just going to cause a lot of Facebook drama (and personally I've had too much of that lately!) and that won't lead anywhere good, just a lot of anger and hurt feelings. I think you should just defriend this guy immediately if not sooner and let it go at that.

Ed.
Title: Re: My Eyes! My Eyes!
Post by: Alex the Seal on August 14, 2010, 03:55:15 AM
WHY do people think this is appropriate information to share?  The act itself I won't comment on, but why broadcast it?  I'd hide him from your feed.

I assume that the same impulse that made them think it was appropriate to do in the first place.

I think as long as they don't spend much longer in the dressing room than she otherwise would to try on the clothes (I assume this occurred when she was trying something on), and don't go any further than "making out" and "topless", they're possibly in the clear for what they did. I mean, I guess it's theoretically in private.

But sharing it on Facebook?  ::) Often the people who overshare most on that kind of topic are those who are actually experiencing it the least, so maybe, Auntie Venom, for the sake of your eyes you could just pretend that he was making it up  ;)
Title: Re: My Eyes! My Eyes!
Post by: shhh its me on August 14, 2010, 08:15:04 AM
  When someone is so casual to inform you of their actives I don't think it would be rude to reply back with" brain bleach please" or "it seemed just last week I was changing her diaper my how they grow".  I wouldn't put on your Adult voice and explain how he was wrong but some casual teasing that might make him think would be appropriate.   
Title: Re: My Eyes! My Eyes!
Post by: afbluebelle on August 14, 2010, 09:16:13 AM
While that is TMI for anyone, think about this. There is apparently a fan page called "Morning Sex" - consider how I felt when I saw that my son-in-law had "liked" it.


 :P

Hugs... I'm doing the "icky spider" dance just picturing that popping up and realization setting in.

My mother just has to put up with me liking stormtroopers and the Safety Dance =P
Title: Re: My Eyes! My Eyes!
Post by: DangerMouth on August 14, 2010, 09:26:55 AM
So, in a situation like this, would saying "Get the brain bleach!" be considered retalitory rudeness, or a completely appropriate response?

Because that would be my first reaction. My second would be to defriend, if I were in danger of reading stuff like this.
Title: Re: My Eyes! My Eyes!
Post by: Brentwood on August 14, 2010, 02:41:08 PM
While that is TMI for anyone, think about this. There is apparently a fan page called "Morning Sex" - consider how I felt when I saw that my son-in-law had "liked" it.


 :P

Hugs... I'm doing the "icky spider" dance just picturing that popping up and realization setting in.

My mother just has to put up with me liking stormtroopers and the Safety Dance =P

Haha....I mentioned it to my daughter on the phone a day or so later. I said, "Tell your husband I don't really need to know what time of day he likes to get his freak on." She repeated my message verbatim, and I could hear him bust out laughing in the background.
Title: Re: My Eyes! My Eyes!
Post by: jimithing on August 14, 2010, 03:24:52 PM
Please send this to Failbooking.com.
Title: Re: My Eyes! My Eyes!
Post by: LeeLee88 on August 15, 2010, 09:20:56 AM
Indeed, to Failbooking with this! 

Also, Auntie Venom, I too have vomited in my mouth over posts like this from my brothers' girlfriends.  I sent the one a message that said, "You know I can see this, right?  That's flippin' gross."  (It was an incredibly, ridiculously, TMI post) After that, they all got hidden.  I have no clue what they're up to, but they can't see me, and I can't see them, and life is blissful, that's all I know.

I would love to know the the thought process that they go through in order to reach the conclusion that posting junk like that is a good idea.  At the very least, you'll get someone writing back, "Oh yes... please... continue *grin grin grin*"  ::)
Title: Re: My Eyes! My Eyes!
Post by: Amava on August 15, 2010, 09:33:13 AM
So, in a situation like this, would saying "Get the brain bleach!" be considered retalitory rudeness, or a completely appropriate response?

Because that would be my first reaction. My second would be to defriend, if I were in danger of reading stuff like this.

I would regard "Brain bleach!" and "My eyes!" comments as innocent bantering, not retaliatory rudeness, in a situation like this.

I would love to know the the thought process that they go through in order to reach the conclusion that posting junk like that is a good idea.  At the very least, you'll get someone writing back, "Oh yes... please... continue *grin grin grin*"  ::)
I have some thoughts on this, but they are a bit "mean" and they might also be interesting assumptions. I'll share them, but they might sound a bit female-doggy. It boils down, for me, to a form of exhibitionism, people feeling the need to talk about their sex life in public. To me it always makes them seem a bit desperate and insecure, as if they have to prove to other people how good their sex life is and how strongly they are attracted to each other.
/end female-dogginess

Title: Re: My Eyes! My Eyes!
Post by: DangerMouth on August 15, 2010, 10:48:03 AM
(snip)
I have some thoughts on this, but they are a bit "mean" and they might also be interesting assumptions. I'll share them, but they might sound a bit female-doggy. It boils down, for me, to a form of exhibitionism, people feeling the need to talk about their sex life in public. To me it always makes them seem a bit desperate and insecure, as if they have to prove to other people how good their sex life is and how strongly they are attracted to each other.
/end female-dogginess


ITA, and I don't see any female-doggy-ness in your assesment.
Title: Re: My Eyes! My Eyes!
Post by: Nurvingiel on August 22, 2010, 08:58:49 PM
Just unfriend him or hide his news feed. No other action is needed. :)
Title: Re: My Eyes! My Eyes!
Post by: Twik on August 23, 2010, 08:56:01 AM
WHY do people think this is appropriate information to share?  The act itself I won't comment on, but why broadcast it?  I'd hide him from your feed.

I assume that the same impulse that made them think it was appropriate to do in the first place.

I think as long as they don't spend much longer in the dressing room than she otherwise would to try on the clothes (I assume this occurred when she was trying something on), and don't go any further than "making out" and "topless", they're possibly in the clear for what they did. I mean, I guess it's theoretically in private.

Not really - at least where I'm from, very few dressing rooms are completely enclosed. Not to mention such people usually engage in a lot of giggling and moaning.

It's clear that from the way he was publicizing it that he was getting a thrill out of being in public. I really doubt they were normally discreet people who just got hit with an unexpected blast of uncontrollable passion.
Title: Re: My Eyes! My Eyes!
Post by: VorFemme on August 23, 2010, 02:42:14 PM
I could see a little morning sax - jazz music wakes me up nicely.  Morning *near homonym* is PRIVATE information and I promise not to put pictures of *us* in your head if you don't put pictures of *you* in my head!

After all, my parents had four kids without any such activity, I had two without my parents needing to know anything but the due dates, and my daughter is due in November without me wanting or needing to know anything but the due date*.

*Although the odds of the baby arriving earlier than that due date are something like 7 to 1, based on the due dates vs birth dates on my mother's side of the family.