Etiquette Hell

Etiquette School is in session! => "What an interesting assumption." => Topic started by: Beyond The Veil on August 07, 2011, 06:34:48 PM

Title: I felt the need to post this.
Post by: Beyond The Veil on August 07, 2011, 06:34:48 PM
A little background: My roommate works for Beer Company, Monday - Saturday. Sometimes on Sundays he will take extra pay for a couple of hours out to stock some shelves with product. He isn't required to wear his uniform while doing this, and wasn't today.

He was in a store with a load of beer stock inside a shopping cart, stocking the shelves. A woman walks by and says to him, "I bet you make your parents so proud by drinking that much in college."

1) He is not in college.

2) We pay our own bills, and have for six years now.

3) He never drinks. Perhaps a Mike's Hard Lemonade once every month.

The gall of this woman, wow! What "interesting assumptions" have been made about you?
Title: Re: I felt the need to post this.
Post by: Adios on August 07, 2011, 09:46:03 PM
I would have laughed, that woman was just carrying her own issues front & centre and projecting them onto your husband.  What did he do?

Title: Re: I felt the need to post this.
Post by: gramma dishes on August 07, 2011, 11:08:54 PM
LOL!  He should have said, "Yeah, Lady.  That's why I'm putting the stuff ON the shelves not taking it off!  Big party tonight in Aisle 6!"
Title: Re: I felt the need to post this.
Post by: Beyond The Veil on August 08, 2011, 02:09:31 PM
Honestly, he was a good boy and wants to keep his job. He applied the title line of this forum section and then ignored her. It wasn't the first time someone has said something like that to him in his profession, and it probably wont be the last. He did tell me he desperately wanted to correct her about the points I mentioned above, and tell her that her obviously pre-teen daughters buttcheeks are very visible on her really, really short-shorts and that he can see side-breast poking out of her top as well.

He gets this kind of thing way, way too often. I feel sorry for him. A busload of kids from a religious school were making comments when he was in uniform and driving the truck with logos on the side, talking about him as an agent of sin. Then at least once a week he is set back thirty minutes or so cleaning at least over a hundred pamphlets out of the beer stock at the store where someone stuffed them full of them - even inside the cardboard!

He also has trouble with several store patrons from churches that stand in front of the beer stock and preach/accost him and people who want to buy from the section. The people are scaring some potential buyers off, which is upsetting because that's our livelihood. The more he sells, the better his paycheck.

He gets harassed and talked about behind his back far more than he ever anticipated taking the job several years ago. (I even posted about it here all worried, but it's been GREAT!) These people don't even know him personally, he's such a honest and nice man. A case of killing the messenger, I suppose.

Title: Re: I felt the need to post this.
Post by: Raintree on August 17, 2011, 11:18:45 PM
He gets this kind of thing way, way too often. I feel sorry for him. A busload of kids from a religious school were making comments when he was in uniform and driving the truck with logos on the side, talking about him as an agent of sin. 

Hoo boy. Tempting: "Maybe when you're a little older you'll find a way to think for yourselves. In the meantime, mind your own business."
Title: Re: I felt the need to post this.
Post by: NotTheNarcissist on August 18, 2011, 04:40:42 PM
Years ago I dated a Coors guy who was hit on consistently while he stocked beer in grocery stores; he always wore his uniform though. I don't remember any guilt trip stories like this one. It would be hard for me to bite my tongue if I were in your DH's position. Sad to hear he has to go through that.
Title: Re: I felt the need to post this.
Post by: Beyond The Veil on August 18, 2011, 05:07:18 PM
Oh yes! He gets flirted with/hit on quite a lot too, much more. I think the uniform looks good on him too.  :D I don't blame them!
Title: Re: I felt the need to post this.
Post by: BeagleMommy on August 31, 2011, 06:57:01 AM
There's no way to change the opinions of those who are convinced their beliefs are the only ones that are right.  Maybe your DH should keep a running total of how man"promoting sin" comments he gets.  When he reaches 100 the two of you go out for a romantic dinner.
Title: Re: I felt the need to post this.
Post by: iridaceae on August 31, 2011, 07:19:46 AM
He also has trouble with several store patrons from churches that stand in front of the beer stock and preach/accost him and people who want to buy from the section. The people are scaring some potential buyers off, which is upsetting because that's our livelihood. The more he sells, the better his paycheck.

I hate this. If you think drinking's evil don't drink. Seriously. I've known a few fundamentalist Christians who don't drink and they go to parties at the houses of people who do, including their relatives, because they understand that not everyone feels as they do.

And then, of course, there was my fundamentalist Christian room-mate in college who lectured everyone on our floor about the evils of drinking and then went out to bars and drank like a fish because it was okay for her to.  ::)

Title: Re: I felt the need to post this.
Post by: Kasia_Kiwi on August 31, 2011, 07:26:44 AM
Honestly, he was a good boy and wants to keep his job. He applied the title line of this forum section and then ignored her. It wasn't the first time someone has said something like that to him in his profession, and it probably wont be the last. He did tell me he desperately wanted to correct her about the points I mentioned above, and tell her that her obviously pre-teen daughters buttcheeks are very visible on her really, really short-shorts and that he can see side-breast poking out of her top as well.

He gets this kind of thing way, way too often. I feel sorry for him. A busload of kids from a religious school were making comments when he was in uniform and driving the truck with logos on the side, talking about him as an agent of sin. Then at least once a week he is set back thirty minutes or so cleaning at least over a hundred pamphlets out of the beer stock at the store where someone stuffed them full of them - even inside the cardboard!

He also has trouble with several store patrons from churches that stand in front of the beer stock and preach/accost him and people who want to buy from the section. The people are scaring some potential buyers off, which is upsetting because that's our livelihood. The more he sells, the better his paycheck.

He gets harassed and talked about behind his back far more than he ever anticipated taking the job several years ago. (I even posted about it here all worried, but it's been GREAT!) These people don't even know him personally, he's such a honest and nice man. A case of killing the messenger, I suppose.

Mind. Officially. Blown.

Call me sheltered but I would never think that the grocery store is an appropriate place to voice your social views. A job is a job and don't people know it's hard enough to get one? OP, your husband gets many points for handling these scenarios with grace and calm.
Title: Re: I felt the need to post this.
Post by: Ginya on August 31, 2011, 11:56:19 AM
I worked for RadioShack for a couple of years, I experienced a LOT of discrimination from patrons but one took the cake. When I went to see if I could help him he pointedly told me that No, I could not and that the only reason the company would hire me is because they have to hire "a few girls to look pretty and keep the lawyers off their back, because everyone knows girls don't know anything about electronics.".... :o

I feel for your husband, being in any proximity to the public while working is often rife with people passing judgement on you based on appearance or their own misconceptions. It's unfortunately something your really just have to learn to brush off, you're never going to change their opinion because for some reason people like that want to put you down to feel better about themselves. Although it is well with in his rights to say "that's an interesting assumption" when he is subjected to people like that.
Title: Re: I felt the need to post this.
Post by: Mental Magpie on August 31, 2011, 05:14:34 PM
I worked at Hot Topic.  I got assumptions from all over the place.

1) "You're corrupting my kids!"
2) "Oh, so that's why you're dressed like that, you work at Hot Topic."  No, I always dress like this, thank you; we do not have a "uniform."  I realize I'm nice and polite, so I don't exactly fit your mold of what nice people dress like, but we come in all kinds.
3) "I didn't have enough tattoos for them to hire me." I (at the time) only had 1, and it is tiny.

My favorite was always the first.  I had absolutely nothing to do with how you raised your kid.  If I was your husband, I would say, "Adults get to make their own decisions," and be done with it.

Then there were all of the assumptions about me when I worked in fast food...

Ooooo, my favorite "Whaaaa?" moment was when a woman told me that I was too pretty to not believe in deity.  That absolutely blew my mind.
Title: Re: I felt the need to post this.
Post by: Ms_Cellany on August 31, 2011, 05:17:18 PM
Ooooo, my favorite "Whaaaa?" moment was when a woman told me that I was too pretty to not believe in deity.  That absolutely blew my mind.

Random mental association:

"We’re not gonna die. We can’t die, Bendis. And you know why? Because we are so… very… pretty. We are just too pretty for God to let us die. Huh? Look at that chiseled jaw, huh? Come on!"
Title: Re: I felt the need to post this.
Post by: Piratelvr1121 on August 31, 2011, 05:24:24 PM
I worked at Hot Topic.  I got assumptions from all over the place.

1) "You're corrupting my kids!"
2) "Oh, so that's why you're dressed like that, you work at Hot Topic."  No, I always dress like this, thank you; we do not have a "uniform."  I realize I'm nice and polite, so I don't exactly fit your mold of what nice people dress like, but we come in all kinds.
3) "I didn't have enough tattoos for them to hire me." I (at the time) only had 1, and it is tiny.

My favorite was always the first.  I had absolutely nothing to do with how you raised your kid.  If I was your husband, I would say, "Adults get to make their own decisions," and be done with it.

Then there were all of the assumptions about me when I worked in fast food...

Ooooo, my favorite "Whaaaa?" moment was when a woman told me that I was too pretty to not believe in deity.  That absolutely blew my mind.

I always heard "I don't have enough piercings to work there."  Now granted many of the HT's I've been to had employees who did have a lot of piercings but I've seen a few who don't.
Title: Re: I felt the need to post this.
Post by: Mental Magpie on August 31, 2011, 06:52:23 PM
I worked at Hot Topic.  I got assumptions from all over the place.

1) "You're corrupting my kids!"
2) "Oh, so that's why you're dressed like that, you work at Hot Topic."  No, I always dress like this, thank you; we do not have a "uniform."  I realize I'm nice and polite, so I don't exactly fit your mold of what nice people dress like, but we come in all kinds.
3) "I didn't have enough tattoos for them to hire me." I (at the time) only had 1, and it is tiny.

My favorite was always the first.  I had absolutely nothing to do with how you raised your kid.  If I was your husband, I would say, "Adults get to make their own decisions," and be done with it.

Then there were all of the assumptions about me when I worked in fast food...

Ooooo, my favorite "Whaaaa?" moment was when a woman told me that I was too pretty to not believe in deity.  That absolutely blew my mind.

I always heard "I don't have enough piercings to work there."  Now granted many of the HT's I've been to had employees who did have a lot of piercings but I've seen a few who don't.

I had three in each ear, that was it, and they weren't even gauged when I was hired.  I was hired by my merit, not how I looked.
Title: Re: I felt the need to post this.
Post by: Jaelle on August 31, 2011, 08:40:41 PM
I worked for RadioShack for a couple of years, I experienced a LOT of discrimination from patrons but one took the cake. When I went to see if I could help him he pointedly told me that No, I could not and that the only reason the company would hire me is because they have to hire "a few girls to look pretty and keep the lawyers off their back, because everyone knows girls don't know anything about electronics.".... :o

Heh. Here's a good one.

I worked at (big bookstore). A couple of young guys (late teens? early 20s?) came in while I happened to be behind the service counter one day and audibly mused about whether they should ask me about fantasy football magazines. (With a distinct air of "This 30-something non-cool female can't possibly know anything about that subject ...")

I smiled at them, left the counter and steered them over to the magazines ... where I produced a handful of my favorites, including the one I used the year before, when I'd won our league championship. :D

They had the grace to thank me. And they both bought the magazine. ;)
Title: Re: I felt the need to post this.
Post by: hyzenthlay on August 31, 2011, 08:46:45 PM
I had three in each ear, that was it, and they weren't even gauged when I was hired.  I was hired by my merit, not how I looked.

My Dh and I like to joke that you can't be hired by our favorite local pet store unless you have a piercing, tattoo, crazy hair or all of the above.  There are a couple of employees that don't appear to have any of the above, but it is by far the most modified group of employees I've ever seen  ;D


Title: Re: I felt the need to post this.
Post by: GreenEyedHawk on September 03, 2011, 09:24:49 AM
When I was in college, I was working part-time at a hardware store to help make ends meet, and not a week when by where I didn't get the, "Can you go find a MAN for me to talk to?" line.  It was always irritating, since probably nine times out of ten, I could answer the customers' questions perfectly well.  I think in a few ways, I kind of ended up being the son my dad never had, and he introduced me to the skills of fixing things and using tools very early on in life; I'm handier than most men I know!
Title: Re: I felt the need to post this.
Post by: Mental Magpie on September 03, 2011, 11:22:29 AM
When I was in college, I was working part-time at a hardware store to help make ends meet, and not a week when by where I didn't get the, "Can you go find a MAN for me to talk to?" line.  It was always irritating, since probably nine times out of ten, I could answer the customers' questions perfectly well.  I think in a few ways, I kind of ended up being the son my dad never had, and he introduced me to the skills of fixing things and using tools very early on in life; I'm handier than most men I know!

Pretty much the same for my sister and me!  When our (mine and Dark Boyfriend's) dryer broke, I didn't take it in at first; turns out I didn't need to because I fixed it myself.

When my sister was my dad's office manager, she got "Can I talk to a man?" quite a bit (his business was making roll cage kits for race cars).  Little did they know that my sister graduated first in her class in auto mechanics in VoTech.
Title: Re: I felt the need to post this.
Post by: Ms_Cellany on September 04, 2011, 01:14:10 PM
I installed my own gas dryer. 

Do you know, when you call the city and say "I just installed a gas dryer myself. Could someone come and check it out?"  they get there FAST!

They said I did a  perfect job.
Title: Re: I felt the need to post this.
Post by: Mental Magpie on September 04, 2011, 02:17:57 PM
I installed my own gas dryer. 

Do you know, when you call the city and say "I just installed a gas dryer myself. Could someone come and check it out?"  they get there FAST!

They said I did a  perfect job.

Can you imagine what the city workers were thinking when they heard that? LMAO you're awesome.

I backed up my SUV to a trailer by myself, hooked it by myself, and just when I was getting back into my SUV, 2 men came out and said, "Oh, we better check that for you, we didn't realize you were doing it yourself." (This was my family's trailer parked at our friend's building; they were his workers.)  I told them, "Check, if it's wrong, I'll give you each $20."  I did not lose money that day; I've been hooking up trailers since I was 10.  When I came back with the trailer, they watched me back it into its spot all by myself.  They just smiled and waved when I left.

I can back up a trailer better than all but 1 guy (my age)  I know.  I do not know any guys (my age) that can drive a fork lift; I can.  I know only 1 guy (my age, and the same guy that can do the trailer) than can weld; I can.  Also, I am the bug killer (unless it's a cicada!) in my house.
Title: Re: I felt the need to post this.
Post by: Ms_Cellany on September 06, 2011, 02:12:15 PM
I installed my own gas dryer. 

Do you know, when you call the city and say "I just installed a gas dryer myself. Could someone come and check it out?"  they get there FAST!

They said I did a  perfect job.

Can you imagine what the city workers were thinking when they heard that? LMAO you're awesome.


It wasn't scary or difficult at all. The utility room already had exposed threaded gas pipes for the heater in the next room (the feed to the heater went through a hole in the wall). Turn off the valve, screw on new pipes using pipe sealant, spray soapy water on the joints, turn on gas and sniff. If I'd smelled anything or seen any soap bubbles, I would've turned off the gas at once!
Title: Re: I felt the need to post this.
Post by: Diane AKA Traska on September 06, 2011, 02:28:48 PM
If you're working someplace that sells MANLY things, and they say "Hey lil' lady, you think you could find me a fella so they'd know what I'm talkin' 'bout?", go find the male on duty that knows the least about the subject (make sure HE'S okay with this, because if not it could be embarrassing).  Watch guy's expression when he says "Uh... RAM?  I think we have some.  You need to ask Techgirl though, she builds the systems here."
Title: Re: I felt the need to post this.
Post by: Mental Magpie on September 06, 2011, 04:18:07 PM
If you're working someplace that sells MANLY things, and they say "Hey lil' lady, you think you could find me a fella so they'd know what I'm talkin' 'bout?", go find the male on duty that knows the least about the subject (make sure HE'S okay with this, because if not it could be embarrassing).  Watch guy's expression when he says "Uh... RAM?  I think we have some.  You need to ask Techgirl though, she builds the systems here."

This.
Title: Re: I felt the need to post this.
Post by: Nora on November 01, 2011, 02:59:16 PM
I used to do techsupport for *BigDutchCompany*. Whenever a customer called and asked for a MAN in that demeaning little voice bigots use, I transferred them to Alan. Alan sucked at anything even remotely computer-related, but fun thing: he did not know that. He thought he was awesome!

So Alan would "help" the customer (randomly deleting things in the registry, asking the customer to void their warranty by performing half-donkeyed repairs etc), who would call back, get a woman, and darned well listen to what we told them.
Title: Re: I felt the need to post this.
Post by: Reika on November 04, 2011, 07:29:02 AM
If you're working someplace that sells MANLY things, and they say "Hey lil' lady, you think you could find me a fella so they'd know what I'm talkin' 'bout?", go find the male on duty that knows the least about the subject (make sure HE'S okay with this, because if not it could be embarrassing).  Watch guy's expression when he says "Uh... RAM?  I think we have some.  You need to ask Techgirl though, she builds the systems here."

The funny thing is that one time I was at a local computer store checking out a sale special, acting as a sounding board, even if it did involve things she had no clue about, mom tagged along. So while I was contemplating some video cards, and trying to justify the purchase of a new card to myself, an older gentleman came up to me. He'd heard me explaining stuff to mom and figured I might be able to help him. He wanted to get his grandson some more RAM for his computer, but didn't know what to get.

Thankfully he had the specs written down so I knew what to look for and helped him figure out what speed and such to get. I have no clue where the sales person was for the area, he/she/it probably saw me and went somewhere else, I had a bit of a reputation. Not that I was rude, but I didn't put up with people trying to pull the wool over my eyes either and not afraid to call out someone being stupid.

He got what he wanted, thanked me and wandered off.

The funny thing is that when I went to make my purchase, the gentleman was in line ahead of me and when asked what salesperson helped him, he pointed at me. The cashier looked consternated, I was certainly embarrassed and mom beamed at the fact her daughter, the computer geek, helped some random person.
Title: Re: I felt the need to post this.
Post by: Chip2 on February 29, 2012, 09:24:40 AM

Also, I am the bug killer (unless it's a cicada!) in my house.

I was pulling staff duty one night when I got a call from family housing. The woman's husband was deployed and she needed help getting rid of a spider. I gave her some advice over the phone, but when I when I heard her and her daughters screaming I agreed to go over. When I saw the beast I almost told the lady she was on her own, but I did my best Steve Irwin "You're a beaut!", manned up, and got the thing out of the house. I did get some cookies for my trouble, so it was okay in the end....