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Life...in general / Re: B list invite?
« Last post by Deetee on Today at 06:21:33 PM »
Update: She will be able to make it. :)
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Also the inverse I find just as rude - the overly early - when you invite someone over for seven and they show up at six fifteen just after you got home from work, then complain about how disorganised you are because you're not ready 45 minutes in advance.

I only had to train a friend once about doing this.  She always showed up early.  I didn't mind when it was like 10 to 15 minutes, because I was ready by then due to having it drilled in my head that 10 to 15 minutes early is on time (orchestra and JROTC), but then it got to a half hour early.  Then 45 minutes, then a hour.  So I got ready earlier and earlier because she was coming from another state to visit me.  Sometimes it was really that traffic was great and sometimes it was just that she was a morning person and just got an early jump on traveling for the day.  I'm a night person and just got everything done that I could, save for last minute things like fussing over towels and getting myself ready for the day.

Well, one day, I was doing a few last minute things to get ready for her.  The last thing I had to do was shower.  She showed up a hour and 15 minutes early.  I let her in, let her use the restroom, and then went "here's the remote, I have to shower".  She was flabbergasted, I went in to shower, and we had a talk about how showing up early wasn't really that great for me.  She's a really close friend, someone I feel who is like family, so that talk was a two way street and we came to the conclusion that it just wasn't great for her to show up so early.  Sure, she still shows up 10 to 15 minutes early, but I'm okay with that as I'm usually ready for her.  ;D
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Showing up over an hour late to a party or a gathering of some sort...and bringing an uninvited friend, wearing a big grin, and saying, "This is so-and-so; I knew you wouldn't mind, so I told him he could tag along."

Um, yes, we do mind.  Very much so.  But more than that, we don't want to have a scene that would spoil the whole evening.

I'm convinced that this is the main reason why many people don't say anything when rudeness happens.
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Life...in general / Re: B list invite?
« Last post by jpcher on Today at 06:01:49 PM »
I don't think this was a B-list invite at all.

B-list would be if one of the original group dropped out leaving an empty space so then you invite someone else who is second choice.

What you did was perfectly fine.

Think of hosting a party. The host (in this situation, it wasn't a true hosting deal but I think the basic rules still apply) settles on a date/venue, etc. then extends the invitations after decisions were made.

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This is a tough one.  Knowing myself, I would go with one "extreme" or another.  Either I would make mention of it from the moment we said "hello", or I would never, ever, ever mention it.  Actually, the more I think about it, I would probably go with option B. This way, any potential awkwardness is averted, and I hate awkwardness.

Now I am amusing myself, imagining how I would try to explain this situation to my great-grandmother if she somehow reappeared.   ;D
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Family and Children / Re: Unacknowledged Birthday Gifts
« Last post by Deetee on Today at 05:58:38 PM »
If someone doesn't acknowledge a gift, there are two possibilities

1) They are ungrateful gimme pigs who just want stuff and are too lazy to acknowledge the stuff.

or

2) They don't actually care about the stuff or really want the stuff or the burden of gratitude that the stuff entails.


Fortunately, in both cases, the answer is to stop giving stuff. In both cases, the giver will be happier (and richer). In the first scenario the getter won't be happier, but it serves them right and in the second scenario, both the giver and the getter will be happier.

To be honest, I fall a bit in the second category. My first thought on receiving some gifts is not "Oh boy! What a thoughtful gift" but "Oh..now I need to remember to thank them in a thoughtful manner" It's not a nice thing. It's not an emotion I'm proud of, but it is a real feeling and if I wasn't gifted, my primary feeling to many of the gifts would be relief. I would much prefer a card. It shows that they care about me (Yeah!) but doesn't carry an obligation.

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Family and Children / Re: DH as chauffeur?
« Last post by lkdrymom on Today at 05:56:57 PM »
I totally agree with you Miranova.
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Life...in general / Re: B list invite?
« Last post by PastryGoddess on Today at 05:46:50 PM »
I'm ok with B,C,D,etc list invites as long as the person inviting doesn't make me feel like they're doing me a favor by inviting me. Or make me feel like an afterthought. 

I don't even need to know all of the details, but I do need to know that A. you want me there and B. you're sincerely happy that I can attend.  With very close family and friends, I might be slightly put out that I wasn't on the initial list, but that's my problem.  But with wider friends and acquaintances,it doesn't matter that much to me.  YMMV
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Also the inverse I find just as rude - the overly early - when you invite someone over for seven and they show up at six fifteen just after you got home from work, then complain about how disorganised you are because you're not ready 45 minutes in advance.
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Humor Me! / Re: Signs that crack you up
« Last post by Julia Mercer on Today at 05:42:19 PM »
A local pool hall has a sign outside advertising pool leagues, but someone swiped the l off of the sign, so now it advertises poo leagues, and it's been like that for a while, cracks me up every time I pass by it!
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