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Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: Your own personal mysteries.
« Last post by Kaora on Today at 03:28:50 AM »
Kaora, the GPS maps could be showing planned roads.  I've seen this happen before.

I know, I've been to California City.  I was curious what was there, to be planned out.  It's not either city, as neither share's real street names with them, and both towns are too far to be a feasible extension. :) Just a fun thought.

Kaora, regarding your second mystery, I'm betting someone needed the original box to return something.

That was my bet, too. They might have an old one they can't return as-is anymore, and want to make it look newish to fool customer service.

I work in a thrift store.  The item was one-of-a-kind there, from the 1970's.  It had been tested and everything, so its confusing why anyone would take it.  Plus, our refunds are store credit, which is only useful on more electronics, and they removed the masking tape telling the date tested, the status of the item, and the price, so it wouldn't do them much good for scamming us then, either. :)
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Abuse is a pattern of coercive control. Domestic abuse is a pattern of coercive control by someone in your household, usually a partner. I don't see how the husband's behaviour is NOT coercive control.

You can label it however you like but the friend is in a controlling relationship. A major part of relationship control is isolation. The husband is successfully isolating the wife. Moving to a new area is a common tactic. Chasing off old friends by making it difficult, uncomfortable or impossible to see them is another.

The question here is what to do. My policy with friends in abusive relationships goes as follows:
(1) Do not victim blame. Yes, they could nip these situations in the bud but they obviously didn't feel they could. A choice is no choice if it's between apparently awful outcomes.
(2) Do not protect the victim from the consequences of her decisions. If she cancels I'd be telling her that I am disappointed and how I feel. Refuse to make more than casual plans and be clear as to why. Jamie doesn't get to treat the OP disrespectfully because of the demands of her partner. If the OP lets Jamie treat her in an unacceptable manner she is enabling the abusive relationship.
(3) Provide evidence that life outside their bubble is different. Do not hide the fact your partner treats you with respect and you have autonomy over how you spend your time.
(4) Don't tell them what to do. It never works.

I follow these rules myself. My oldest friend has refused to make time to talk to me this year, so she doesn't know I'm half way through my first pregnancy. That's the consequence of her not taking my calls, not returning my messages and cancelling when she was meant to see me. I'm a little hurt, and I might volunteer the information in September if she doesn't make time to see me after the summer, but that is a consequence of her decisions.

Personally, I have no time for the idea that the subjugation and abuse of women can be okay because "It's religion".
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Family and Children / Re: What are my options?
« Last post by cicero on Today at 03:21:36 AM »
I am sorry that this is going on.  Your daughter should not be placed in danger of being hit, having her items destroyed, having her learning disrupted because of one student.

Is there more than one kindergarten class in this building? 

I would not write a letter to the principal, you need to go in immediately and speak to him in person.   Write down what you want to say.  Focus on what has happened to your dd--being hit, having things destroyed, how it is upsetting you.  Mention that you know the teachers are doing their best, but your first concern is for your dd and you cannot allow this little boy to keep hurting her and making her fearful.  Then, if there is another class in the building, request that your dd be pulled from this class and put into another one immediately.  If you do not get this to happen, I would thank the principal for his time and then move up the ladder.  If you do not get her moved, I would pull her from the school and put her in another one.

If there is only this one class, I would move my dd to another school immediately.  Her safety is important and what is happening in this classroom with this boy should not be taken lightly.  It sounds like the teachers are doing what they can, but have no support from the principal.

Good luck.
this except honestly the teachers aren't doing their best. their best would be to ensure the safety and well being of all the kids - not just focused on the one child and letting the others get hurt. they may be doing all they can do under the circumstances but it sounds like that kid either needs to be in a different environment or needs a special aide by his side while in school. I feel for the other child, and i feel for his family - my DS went through his own issues in school, though never anything like that and he (and I) at least cooperated with the teachers so we were always able to work out a plan that worked.

as for not wanting to move her because she chose this school? your first priority is that your dd is in a safe and healthy environment - this isn't it (at this moment). I think the long term effects of her being hit and bullied by a class mate greatly override any sadness over leaving the school she chose. at age four, you could "help" her "choose" another school - usually pretty easily.

good luck!

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Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: "Why doesn't anybody like me?"
« Last post by Bethalize on Today at 03:01:31 AM »
Each of these occasions caught me totally off-guard.  I mean, what adult even asks that? 

In my experience such a question is asked by a manipulative and usually arrogant person as part of a campaign recruiting for sympathisers.
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Family and Children / Re: What are my options?
« Last post by lorelai on Today at 03:00:44 AM »
I hope this doesn't constitute legal advice, but if this happened to me I'd seek legal advice/recourse since what you described sounds like physical assault.
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Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: Funny/clever tee shirts
« Last post by Cherry91 on Today at 02:59:17 AM »
When I was working in an office in a science based company, my supervisor left. For his going away, we got him a shirt saying "Stand back! I'm going to try science!" with a little sticj figure holding up two beakers. We paired it with science beaker shot glasses. They were a big hit!
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I had a little old lady as a Latin teacher, and in 4th year Latin we had to translate the Aeneid. She assigned us to translate 10 lines a night, without fail, until we came to the part where Dido and Aeneas disappear into a cave, presumably to play Scrabble.

Reading this post and momentarily forgettting the euphemism employed on this forum; my mind was briefly boggled by an image of D. and A. going into the cave to play, literally, Scrabble the board game...

Though I understand that Latin Scrabble sets can be got. The game basically works in any language that uses an alphabet -- with varying frequencies and values of letters, for different languages.  For example, I gather that Scrabble sets are made in Hebrew, and Arabic.
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I teach Latin. I've had many conversations about it through the years. Most people tell me either they liked studying it or wish they had. But there are always those who didn't like it and/or don't see the point of it, and just have to let me know. Today, for example, I was opening a new account at a bank, and the person helping me asked me what I do. When I told her, she grimaced and said, "I went to a school where I had to study it for three years! I didn't see why I had to, it's a dead language!" I said, in what I hoped was a jokey tone, that she wasn't endearing herself to me. She said, "I bet I sound like one of your students now!" We went on to talk about it a bit more--I said that many people found it helpful for vocabulary building, and that she must not have had a very interesting teacher. She admitted he was kind of boring.

So it was an OK conversation in the end, and I don't think either of us was rude, but I wonder what's the best way to handle people like this. It really brings me down being reminded some people think what I do is useless. Math teachers tell me they go through the same thing--people who continually tell them they hated math or stunk at it. Why? I mean, it's not as if we're about to give them a pop quiz! Is there a polite way to let people know their little comments aren't appreciated?

Coming in late here: would teachers actually feel belittled or (a bit) offended if someone said -- humorously and self-deprecatingly -- that at school, they were beyond useless at (subject the person teaches), and thus didn't enjoy it; but they're sure that the fault is with them, not with the subject?  For whatever reason, that's how I was with maths (American / British difference: over here, we put an s on the end) -- and am: on a good day, I can add 2 to 2 twice running, and get 4 both times.  If I met a teacher of maths (or physics, or chemistry), the above is what I'd be inclined to say.  We tend to seek means of keeping a conversation going, in whatever -- non-outrageous -- way we can find them.
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Life...in general / Re: What message do I leave (possible death)?
« Last post by peaches on Today at 02:39:36 AM »
You can also add, "If you need someone to talk to, please call me."

She might take you up on it.
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Family and Children / Re: What are my options?
« Last post by kudeebee on Today at 02:25:42 AM »
I am sorry that this is going on.  Your daughter should not be placed in danger of being hit, having her items destroyed, having her learning disrupted because of one student.

Is there more than one kindergarten class in this building? 

I would not write a letter to the principal, you need to go in immediately and speak to him in person.   Write down what you want to say.  Focus on what has happened to your dd--being hit, having things destroyed, how it is upsetting you.  Mention that you know the teachers are doing their best, but your first concern is for your dd and you cannot allow this little boy to keep hurting her and making her fearful.  Then, if there is another class in the building, request that your dd be pulled from this class and put into another one immediately.  If you do not get this to happen, I would thank the principal for his time and then move up the ladder.  If you do not get her moved, I would pull her from the school and put her in another one.

If there is only this one class, I would move my dd to another school immediately.  Her safety is important and what is happening in this classroom with this boy should not be taken lightly.  It sounds like the teachers are doing what they can, but have no support from the principal.

Good luck.
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