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  • March 31, 2015, 07:49:12 AM

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Family and Children / Re: Can't you bathe your kids at your own house?
« Last post by Carotte on Today at 07:33:18 AM »
This sounds like something that could be 100% ordinary and expected in the spouse of the inlaw family so they don't think twice about it.
Hopefully the first time around they asked and OP/husband was too taken aback to say anything  so now they just assume it's ok, like they know it's ok in their (branch of the) family.

OP has a few choices, from putting a stop completely to at least having them do it on her own terms: if you know it's happening you take the reins, lay out one towel and washcloth, single out the soap they can use, you can even ask the mom/dad to do it first thing first or only after the dessert, at least state your expectations.(and go from there if they abuse/ don't respect them).

" Hi InLaw, say, if you want to bathe the kids tonight, could you do it before we eat? You can use the pink towel by the bathtub, and could you make sure the floor is dry before leaving/put the towel in the hamper? That would really help, thanks."
2
Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Last post by Phoebelion on Today at 07:32:21 AM »
HoneyBee 42 - Yep that's very dangerous.

DS got hit broadside by someone who did that (had not stopped behind the first car in the left turn lane - just went roaring around him).  Rolled the car 3 times landing on it's wheels approx. 20 feet off the road. 
Witness' stated they were certain they were going to assist a dead person.  They  had to physically restrain him to keep him off the guy who hit him.  Concussion and bruises. 

Everyone says DS has a full time guardian angel.  He's been in 2 major accidents where he should have been killed or very badly injured.  Neither accident were his fault. 
3
Family and Children / Re: Can't you bathe your kids at your own house?
« Last post by Dazi on Today at 07:28:07 AM »
I think this is one of those things that varies by family.  In some families this is the norm and some it's not.  Neither are wrong, just different ways of doing things.

In my family, I would not think twice about this.  When we were kids, we most often got a bath at bath time where ever we happened to be.  Often, the adults just stuck all of us in the bath together to save time (siblings/cousins that were all under 5). 

Also, while I am sure there are many children that can skip baths, my sibling was not one of them. Him skipping a bath was a very bad idea...even for just one night. He had body odor issues.

4
Guests / Re: Pictures for everyone?
« Last post by menley on Today at 07:26:32 AM »
Little story, I was in another wedding about 15 years ago, and there was a specific picture I saw in the photographers book of me and my then best friend. I wanted the picture, I was willing to pay for the picture, did I ever get that picture? Guess. I called the photographer, I emailed him. Nothing. I feel that photographers are perhaps not interested in selling one photograph.

Things have changed quite a bit since then. For every wedding I've attended in the last 7 years or so, the bride and groom have e-mailed or posted on Facebook a link to their photographer's website, where guests can view every photo and order directly from the photographer in a variety of sizes. Some even allow you to choose if you want the photo in color or black & white. I've ordered photos this way from a handful of weddings, with no problems whatsoever that I've only ordered one picture.
5
All In A Day's Work / Re: An irritating co-worker
« Last post by WolfWay on Today at 07:12:51 AM »
It depends on the tone perhaps? Some people are genuinely trying to be nice and end up being irritating (basically, too nice), other people are deliberately trying to be annoying as a form of interaction.

The too nice people I am also at a loss with as to how to shut them down because I don't want to rain on their nice parade by being snippy with them, even if they are being really irritating by not taking my "no" as an answer.

People who deliberately try to irritate you (in a juvenile way) might have to be ignored so they don't get the reaction they want from you.

Maybe try a slight ignore to repeated questions and then restate that you've already told him the answer?

Him: You want a cup of coffee?
You: No.
Him Are you suuuuuuuuuuuure?
You: <silence, continue what you're doing like you didn't hear him>
Him: Hello? Would you like some coffee?
You: Huh? Oh I already said no, I'm sorry you didn't hear me clearly the first time.
Him: Are you really really sure?
You: <silence and continue in silence>

If he calls you on it if you're ignoring him, you can always say "I've told you no twice. Please respect that I know what I want and don't want. Please repect my no".

Then just stop answering the same question. Of course, some people take that as a cue to start teasing you to try and get an answer out of you.
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Guests / Re: Pictures for everyone?
« Last post by kategillian on Today at 06:36:08 AM »
OP here, just to clarify a few things. It was an outdoor daytime venue, no flash was used, it was taking place very near to the tent where the reception was, it was in full view of everyone, I didn't sneak off to follow them, nor was I the only one who did this. (Not that group behavior excuses something, if it's rude, it's rude.)

I didn't get in the way of the photographer, I also work with the public, & I would not dream of getting in someone's way who is trying to do their job.

Of course I wouldn't ask the bride and groom and wedding party to recreate photos that I wanted.

Little story, I was in another wedding about 15 years ago, and there was a specific picture I saw in the photographers book of me and my then best friend. I wanted the picture, I was willing to pay for the picture, did I ever get that picture? Guess. I called the photographer, I emailed him. Nothing. I feel that photographers are perhaps not interested in selling one photograph.
7
Life...in general / Re: Roommate's smelly cat
« Last post by MrsVandy on Today at 06:06:57 AM »
My 2 cents: if she isn't using pine litter, she if she'll change to it. I have *5* cats using litter boxes and the smell is so much better than when we had 2 cats and clay litter (also, clay litter rips the heck out of any linoleum floors the cats track it on).

If your roomie is feeding the kitty before she goes to work, get her to take the empty cans out with her and trash them on her way out.

+1 for pine cat litter. It controls the smell far better than any clay litter I've ever tried.   I've found a brand that is clumping and safe to flush. While it's more expensive than clay, it lasts much longer (it clumps very well) and the fact that it's flushable is very convenient (we live in a 2nd floor flat so no running downstairs to the rubbish bins twice a day).

As for wet food, x100 on disposing of the tins / washing the bowls asap. As a PP said, the smell of wet food left out even a few hours is worse than anything that comes out of the kitty 😷

I really don't want to derail the thread, but what is the brand name of that litter PoisonIvy?

I really feel for the OP as I have 2 cats (one has IBS) and I was pregnant recently. I just asked DH to clean it more then he already did (once a day) because it was triggering my morning sickness.
 Is it possible to move kitty's feeding area away from the litter? That way if she doesn't remove the bowl quick enough you can. I know its not ideal as its making you sick :(.
 Just be honest with your roommate about how bad the smells are affecting you. It may embarrass her, but she needs to act on this since you can't due to pregnancy/ its not your cat.
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Life...in general / Re: Roommate's smelly cat
« Last post by PoisonIvy on Today at 05:55:29 AM »
My 2 cents: if she isn't using pine litter, she if she'll change to it. I have *5* cats using litter boxes and the smell is so much better than when we had 2 cats and clay litter (also, clay litter rips the heck out of any linoleum floors the cats track it on).

If your roomie is feeding the kitty before she goes to work, get her to take the empty cans out with her and trash them on her way out.

+1 for pine cat litter. It controls the smell far better than any clay litter I've ever tried.   I've found a brand that is clumping and safe to flush. While it's more expensive than clay, it lasts much longer (it clumps very well) and the fact that it's flushable is very convenient (we live in a 2nd floor flat so no running downstairs to the rubbish bins twice a day).

As for wet food, x100 on disposing of the tins / washing the bowls asap. As a PP said, the smell of wet food left out even a few hours is worse than anything that comes out of the kitty 😷
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Life...in general / Re: Deflecting rude comments about not driving
« Last post by Another Sarah on Today at 05:36:29 AM »
"So you constantly made us late, never chipped in for costs, never took a turn driving, never even said thank you, and now you've taken to guilt tripping us at every opportunity because you still don't get how rude you were? Thanks for proving to us that we made the right decision."

OK maybe not, but it would be nice wouldn't it?

If you want to engage on the topic and shut it down, Margo and Samihami both had good advice. Or you could say "I explained my reasons-that I felt taken advantage of and no one else did their fair share. You're not going to change my mind by complaining. Now let's talk about something else"
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Life...in general / Re: Musical performance in a bar
« Last post by Gyburc on Today at 05:23:54 AM »
This is interesting! Some friends and I recently formed a band, and we have now done two or three gigs together, with another planned for next weekend. We have been marketing the gigs as 'social events with music', and have designed them as informal events specifically so that people don't feel obliged to sit in silence while we perform. My first thought on reading the OP was that an event in a pub would definitely fall into this category.

However, my friends and I are not professional musicians, and although we have charged money for our gigs, this has gone to cover room hire and other expenses, with any remaining money going to a named charity. I can see that a professional might well feel differently, and that he might reasonably expect people attending his gigs to listen to his music rather than chat. After all, he is working, while my friends and I are engaging in a hobby. So I can see why he was upset.

Unfortunately, though, I don't think that there was anything that the musician in the OP could actually do in that situation without looking bad. He chose the nuclear option of leaving without completing his concert, but even if he had just stopped and asked people to be quiet I think he would still have come off looking like a diva. After all, he was still getting paid to play, even if the audience were not being particularly attentive.

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