News: There is a new Ehell Kindness Project!  Check it out in the "Extending the Hand of Kindness" folder or here: http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=139832.msg3372084#msg3372084   

  • June 26, 2016, 02:08:03 PM

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In 1872, the merchant vessel Mary Celeste was found abandoned off the Azores Islands. The ship was fully provisioned and seaworthy, and only the lifeboat was missing- personal belongings of the captain, his wife, their two-year-old daughter and the seven-man crew were still on board. None of these ten people has ever been heard from again. I've always wondered what happened. Was there a mutiny? Piracy seems unlikely, as the cargo was still there along with everyone's belongings. Alien abduction? 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_Celeste
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All In A Day's Work / Re: Minefield!
« Last post by TootsNYC on Today at 01:34:51 PM »

Quote
Second question: One of the sons hanging around the school said something that made me go  :o and put up a yellow flag.

This is really vague, so I have no idea what the issue is.

If you think the son is a danger to himself or others, you need to address this with the owners. Be calm, be matter-of-fact, point out potential liability. And, sadly, be prepared for the owners not to believe you. And possibly fire you.


Quote

Great Camlan, thank you. To the last part, sorry I'm being vague, but I do think mental illness is involved, and you're right, I don't think that will go over well at all.... "I think your son needs professional help"....  The owners know we aren't doing well, boss is open about it, but they have no idea they're doing anything wrong because that's the way they've always done it. 
I think I can bring it up to my boss about the receptionist not being good on the phone and do it by focusing on results. That might work.

I'm going to refer to this in the future :) Thanks

I am flight instructor and it is a unique blend of customer service/instructing/flying.

Regarding the son--

The bolded is you telling them how to solve the problem. You have gone from simply observing to making a judgment, drawing a conclusion, and proposing a solution.
   So you are right, that's not going to go over well. It never does.

But that doesn't mean you can't say anything.

You say what you saw. (or heard)
And you stop there.

It's the same thing as with the daughter's inability to do her job. You bring the problem to the people who need to know about it. And you stop there.

So you say, "Your son said these words. [insert direct quote here]  It worried/alarmed me, and I felt it was important that I give you that information." And you stop there.

Let them deal with drawing conclusions and proposing solutions.

If that yellow flag makes you worried for anyone else's safety or comfort level (even if it's just that he said something racist, or rude), then you pass that same --factual-- information to them. "I was w/ Son the other day, and he said this. I felt that we should all be aware." And stop there.

Too often we make things awkward, or we overstep, by simply not stopping at the right point. Or we take on the solving of the problem, the "next step," ourselves. Other people are generally capable of handling it.


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Life...in general / Re: I Don't Want Your Advice
« Last post by Wordgeek on Today at 01:18:20 PM »
Insofar as this is an etiquette issue,  the OP has received good advice.

Thread locked until OP convinces me she's looking for advice and not merely validation.
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All In A Day's Work / Re: Minefield!
« Last post by gramma dishes on Today at 12:57:08 PM »

Yep. This ship is going down, and you don't need to stay onboard to the bitter end. Grab a lifeboat and get off now.

Yikes!  Maybe not ideal phrasing for someone who is a flight instructor!   :-\
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Life...in general / Re: Kiwi funeral etiquette
« Last post by Isisnin on Today at 12:55:11 PM »
Thank you for the help.

Sis just emailed the notice and they are having a chapel service on Weds and have asked for donation to the hospice in lieu of flowers. So I'll send a donation. But if I can get the picture onto the computer, I might ask one of Sis's coworkers to print it for the service. Though it now occurs to me that I don't know if they'll have a bulletin board of pics because asking  coworker to frame it is a bit much. I doubt it could be "slided" in time and I don't know if they're doing that.

(doubt its a Maori funeral)

Thanks again.
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All In A Day's Work / Re: Minefield!
« Last post by Winterlight on Today at 12:53:14 PM »
Start looking for a new job.

A family business will almost always put family above all other employees, no matter how long they have worked there, or how valuable they are.

This is not a battle you can win. There are no magic words you can use.

Yep. This ship is going down, and you don't need to stay onboard to the bitter end. Grab a lifeboat and get off now.
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All In A Day's Work / Re: Chasing An Agreed Contract - Is This OK?
« Last post by Mayadoz on Today at 12:42:39 PM »
Great, thanks. I've sent it. :)

I'm annoyed that I blocked some time out to work for them last week given her previous email asking about my availability as I could have been working for someone else, but I guess that's a whole separate issue to deal with if it happens again.
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Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: Attention all e-book readers/buyers
« Last post by PastryGoddess on Today at 12:26:46 PM »
Remember that your credit will expire in June 2017 for Amazon/Kindle users, I don't know the details for other devices.



Thanks!  I'm sharing the credits with my mom, so I'll look to see when they expire. 
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