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  • August 04, 2015, 12:57:26 AM

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I'm thinking the neighbour was following this cheesecake thread all along and decided to give a cheesecake as a "thank you" gift as the ultimate "**** you."

Pretty rude with the "Yeah yeah yeah" thing. The proper thing to say would be, "Yes, I understand, we're sorry and won't ask you again." (Except that they didn't ask in the first place).

This. And I must say. CHEESECAKE?? Really? And the "we've got someone else who can handle it" sounds snarky to me. I also agree with GreenBird. Id bet the farm that cheesecake wasnt fresh baked.
Family and Children / Re: Birds and Unsupervised 4 yr old.
« Last post by Blaquerose08 on Today at 12:54:16 AM »  This is reasonably priced, no hardware to install, and doesn't appear to damage any existing hardware.

 This is perfect. I have never seen these before or even heard of them. I'm getting a few of them for the basement, and hall closets as well. Thank you so much! This is ingenious.
Family and Children / Re: Wedding and Milestone Birthday Dilemma
« Last post by peaches on Today at 12:39:54 AM »
Full disclosure: I don't care even slightly about celebrating birthdays, did nothing for my 30th, and think weddings trump birthdays as a general rule.

I think in your case, though, that given that SIL moved up her wedding date, that there are others' birthdays as part of your celebration, that you have other guests coming, and that you've compromised by being at the actual wedding for 3 hours, I think you're off the hook, and can go off to your birthday party.

For the sake of family and marital harmony, though, I'd happily let DH stay at the wedding, and let him make it up to me with a special something on your actual birthday.

This comes closest to expressing my sentiments.

OP has to take her exam - that's non-negotiable. She can show up for the wedding (a bit late). She can make an appearance at the reception, circulate awhile and then bow out.

I would give DH a pass and let him spend his sister's wedding day - and evening - with her.

The Sunday presents opening is optional. OP and her DH can decide how they want to spend Sunday. It's perfectly reasonable for them to spend it together, especially since it's a milestone birthday.

DH and I have been married a long time. We don't always go to everything together. Sometimes one of us shows up for an event - or stays longer - and we consider that the more available spouse is representing us both. So for OP's DH to spend more time at a wedding (in his family) seems normal to me. Where I think the SIL and MIL are being unreasonable is in pressuring OP to be there for the entire weekend, when she has other legitimate demands on her time.

I'm all in favor of compromise, especially in family matters. Hopefully, OP and her DH can make some decisions, together, and feel good about them.
I have a recommendation for comfy and relatively supportive flats that are perfect work shoes: Bernie Mev. I now have two pairs, courtesy of Nordstrom and Amazon.  I wore the one pair for 3 straight days, 8-10 hours per day, 5.5 to 8 miles of walking each day.  I have bony feet with high arches and blister /chafe easily, and I had no foot issues whatsoever after that walking marathon.

Dear sports bra and bikini manufacturers,
If you're going to continue to sell pullover styles, please make them easy to remove after a workout! I've come close to pulling various muscles trying to escape from the bondage.  It should not be an entire second workout to free myself. I can and will pay more money for more options with hook and eye closures.
I tend to leave cash instead of putting the tip on the cc. I've heard stories from friends who had tips stolen by the managers/owners  when put on the cc. (Dad also found out the Manager of the Country club was cheating employees this way. He took care of the situation.)

I started writing cash on the CC receipt after seeing that idea here. I also try to hand the whole thing back to the waiter - because I've seen people steal tips from tables. I figure most waiters are going to be fair to their fellow employees. 
Family and Children / Re: Can we just let him sleep?
« Last post by Dindrane on Today at 12:18:11 AM »
Sometimes when I'm on vacation, I want to sleep in a bit, no matter what else is going on. Other times, I might like to sleep in but I'm more interested in doing whatever other people have planned, so I'll sacrifice some sleep in order to be available to do it. I'd guess that's fairly common among people vacationing, although everyone has a different threshold for when sleeping in becomes less attractive than something that is planned (and it varies based on a lot of circumstances).

So I'd say the best way to manage it is to discuss plans the evening before, and make sure Cousin knows what you're doing and that he's welcome to join you if he likes. You can phrase it as your wanting him to be able to do whatever it is he wants to do, whether that's joining your plans or sleeping in, but you want to know what he plans on doing the next morning so that you can plan accordingly.

Even if Cousin is a bit sensitive right now, I would try not to overthink this. Just be mindful that your phrasing doesn't make it sound like you prefer one outcome over another (unless you do), and don't talk plans sooner than the night before unless there's some reason you need to.
I'm thinking the neighbour was following this cheesecake thread all along and decided to give a cheesecake as a "thank you" gift as the ultimate "**** you."

Pretty rude with the "Yeah yeah yeah" thing. The proper thing to say would be, "Yes, I understand, we're sorry and won't ask you again." (Except that they didn't ask in the first place).
Humor Me! / Re: Er, sorry?
« Last post by lilfox on Today at 12:01:55 AM »
I just had this happen in an airport security line. The TSA agent looks over my documents, looks at me, and asks, "Are your eyes real?"

What?  It took me as long to realize what he meant (was it my real eye color or was I wearing colored contacts) as for him to just start over and say that my eye color was striking.

I did really want to say, "nope, ceramic" but you aren't supposed to joke around TSA personnel. ;D
Family and Children / Re: Wedding and Milestone Birthday Dilemma
« Last post by MariaE on Yesterday at 11:51:51 PM »
Shame on your MIL for approaching DH to pressure you instead of talking to you directly. Shame on your DH for agreeing to skip your birthday and disregard your feelings to "appease" his mom and sister. Frankly, it doesn't speak very well of him as a husband. You've done all you can to appease, trying to ask the professor for a testing exception, but that's it. These are not reasonable people. You can't approach them reasonably.

I completely disagree with the bolded! I'd say it would speak a lot worse of him if he didn't pick his sister's wedding. I would pretty much insist that he did just that, if I were the OP.

Agreed. I actually think it is wrong of the OP to have asked her DH to skip his sister's wedding!

Yes, this is where I come in as well.  The OP can do what she wants for her birthday, but being furious with her husband for wanting to stay for his own sister's wedding is really strange and selfish to me.

To me, it sounded like he agreed on his wife's behalf to what his mother wanted - canceling the birthday celebration and telling the OP, "We can celebrate your birthday later" - without consulting the OP. If that's the case, that's the mark of a husband who is not prioritizing his wife's feelings as he should. If not, well then, I owe the husband an apology.

Ah, that makes sense. I read it as that he would celebrate with the OP later and go alone to the wedding, which I thought was the only right thing to do. If indeed he instead meant that they should celebrate later and both stay at the wedding, then I completely, absolutely and positively agree with you.

Either way there's absolutely no way I'd go to the gift opening the following day, nor want my husband to go either. That would be a hill to die on.
Between working and household/family responsibilities, time for volunteering is minimal to nonexistent. I would not commit and then back out, but I can't promise my time, either. I think lots of parents have this modern problem. Many are not stay at home anymore. I would be willing to pay more to avoid many volunteer planning meetings and events.

The shift away from Stay at Home mothers is not the problem.  I managed to volunteer for DD's drill team booster club while holding down a FT management position as did most of the rest of our board and probably half the booster club and run my household as well.  If it's important to you and your child you will find a way without taking advantage of those who do understand the necessity of volunteers.

Well, I guess that is why we do karate and dance, which do nhot require extensive volunteerism, rather than Scouts. But good for you and the Supermoms in your booster club, and thanks for the judgement.
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