News: There is a new Ehell Kindness Project!  Check it out in the "Extending the Hand of Kindness" folder or here: http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=139832.msg3372084#msg3372084   

  • July 25, 2016, 01:38:12 AM

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Life...in general / Re: Polite words but rude tone
« Last post by Klein Bottle on Today at 01:09:27 AM »
I think so, too, and I also don't think your mom was rude. The ticket lady certainly was, though. 
2
Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Last post by WolfWay on Today at 01:09:08 AM »
It amazes me how people think they can just move to foreign countries on a whim.  Since they are all over the press they won't be able to overstay a tourist visa and they don't strike me as the type to take the risk of being smuggled over the border.

I'm from the UK and have family living in NZ and the US and it takes years to get permanent residency and even a time limited work permit (which is what my sister has for the US) takes an enormous amount of work.  She's just been granted a green card and that needed even more paperwork.
I live in South Africa and one of my friends (even though she's the last member of her family outside the US) had to wait 14 years to get her green card/residency so she could join her parents and brothers and sister who are living in the US. Except that she met a guy in South Africa during those 14 years and if she gets married to him, she has to restart her application from scratch, and if she goes to the US, she's going to have to wait 14 years for him to be able to join her. She had a year to make up her mind if she was going to go and leave her boyfriend of four years or stay and lose her chance to ever live with her family again (without starting the 14 year wait from the bottom of the queue again, and she's currently 44). She chose to stay. 
 
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Life...in general / Re: Polite words but rude tone
« Last post by Raintree on Today at 01:01:55 AM »
I think the woman behind the desk was unspeakably rude. The proper way for her to address this would have been, "I'm sorry, I only see three here. Can I have a look at your email confirmation? Let me see what I can do."

Sounds like half way through the interaction the woman discovered her own mistake (perhaps it said "three adults and one senior" or something) and then instead of saying, "Oh sorry, found it - it does say four, go ahead" she just had to be snippy about it.
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Life...in general / Re: Polite words but rude tone
« Last post by Cali.in.UK on Today at 12:32:45 AM »
To answer a few questions. My mom's repeat of the "I did pay for four" was both clarifying and last-word-y. She was definitely exasperated when the woman wouldn't look at the paper she gave her and then said "Enjoy the play!" like she was talking to my mom as if she were a spoilt child. I think my mom didn't want to take that comment when she knew (and was offering proof) that she had paid for the tickets and wasn't stealing one like the woman was insinuating.

Me personally, I probably wouldn't have said anything after the first, "Enjoy the play." comment, and I could feel the awkwardness of the situation, but I do understand why my mom repeated it after the comment. What made it a little more awkward for me (but this might have just been in my head) is that this was a small production and we knew people in the play so the woman at the front table probably knows our friends so it irritated me that she was acting like she was taking the high road with "unreasonable" people, when in my opinion it was she that was being unreasonable.
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Life...in general / Re: Polite words but rude tone
« Last post by sammycat on Today at 12:24:20 AM »
I don't think the mother was rude at all. She was being treated as if she was wrong. A reasonable person would have looked at the credit card receipt and the confirming email. As far as the comment, "Enjoy the play," tone does matter. We all know snottiness when we hear it, and it is insulting. There are people who refuse to admit when they are wrong. They are not just rude, they are childish. All the woman had to do was look at the receipt, say that she was sorry, there must have been some mistake, and told you all to go on in. Instead she did the passive aggressive, "Enjoy the play."

I agree. I simply don't understand why the staff member didn't avail herself of one of the options available that would've cleared this all up quickly. It sounds like she didn't want to proved "wrong" after her initial statement.

I had a situation last year where I turned up to an attraction with my prepaid tickets (or thought I had). I'd booked online and printed out the tickets at home. There were three of us going, but I'd accidentally grabbed the child pass for that attraction but the two adult passes for the attraction we were going to the next day. The attendant would've been quite within his rights to refuse two of us admittance, but he very nicely worked with us to sort it all out. It was even more confusing considering I'd booked via a third party site, rather than direct, but at all times the attendant remained calm, polite and pleasant. The woman in the OP could take some lessons from him!
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Life...in general / Re: Polite words but rude tone
« Last post by diesel_darlin on Today at 12:02:12 AM »
Makes you think of Willy Wonka. "I said GOOD DAY"!
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Life...in general / Re: Polite words but rude tone
« Last post by cross_patch on Yesterday at 11:58:43 PM »
I think there was rudeness on both sides. The woman's list was wrong, which is annoying and she probably sounded a little rude, but she was still letting all 4 of you in so there was no need for your mother add her last comment.

Cali, do you feel like your mother had a rude tone in saying her last comment? Because taking the words for what they are, I can't see the rudeness on your mother's side at all.

Yeah, I don't either. It doesn't sound like trying to get the last word, just trying to say actually I *did* pay.
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Life...in general / Re: Shoes off in store?
« Last post by TeamBhakta on Yesterday at 11:51:02 PM »
I used to work at a coffee hop by day/brewery by night place with all kinds of comfy sofas and cushioned loungers. I was fairly indifferent about it but people frequently took off their shoes and would read/chat, ect. Management was less then polite about it. I thought it weird to have the long cushioned loungers (that you could only use comfortably by laying on. I wasn't sure how shoes on the furniture was so much less offensive.

I wouldn't think a coffee house was a good place to be barefoot. One spill over your foot = ouch
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Life...in general / Re: Polite words but rude tone
« Last post by MariaE on Yesterday at 11:48:04 PM »
I think there was rudeness on both sides. The woman's list was wrong, which is annoying and she probably sounded a little rude, but she was still letting all 4 of you in so there was no need for your mother add her last comment.

Completely disagree. Even if she didn't need to add the last comment, she wasn't rude to do so. Assuming a non-rude tone of voice of course.
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