Hi all, thanks for the feedback, it's a lot to think about.
Also I kinda think you were out of line saying she couldn't bring her bf to your engagement party. Unless he is very new. Significant others are usually invited and how many times your DF has met the family is irrelevent to if your bridesmaids should be allowed to bring boyfriends.
I didn't say she couldn't, my mom did. He was never invited, it was a family only party which my mother and aunt(not her mom) organised and paid for. They put it on so my grandmother(who is too old to travel) could be a part of the wedding celebrations. My cousin announced she was bringing him to the party so he could meet the family. My family viewed it as her trying to upstage us, our visit was for them to get to know my DF, who they see as becoming a part of the family.
Why can't all the bridesmaids order thru cousin's chosen website to save $30? The way you describe it sounds like the discount you're getting at your shop isn't as good as what cousin's website is selling at.
The savings my cousin can get only applies to the USA, which would work for one other girl. The other 3 are in the UK and Hong Kong, so the cost to order and ship would be greater than ordering through the shop and I post it to them. I felt ordering from the shop was the best option and my mom was going to take the dresses back to the USA for my cousin and other friend when she came to visit. I did ask the girls if they liked the dress and when I went to look for them, I tried to look for one they could wear again. I actually picked one of the convertible ones where you can change the top based on what looks good/what you'd like. I did run by the cost of the dresses with the girls, none of whom had an issue. All the girls actually make alot more money than I do, except for my MOH. My MOH went with me and we tried to find a dress that wasn't too expensive.
For now, I'm just going to leave it and I'm looking at alternatives for the other girls. I do agree that yes, I am regretting asking her. I suppose a large part of it is I know the history, which I don't want to get into because it's not 100% relevant to this, other than yes, it does colour my perception of alot of what she does.