« Last post by EllenS on Today at 07:02:06 PM »
Okay, on second reading, I'm leaning in the direction of "overall look" and "not fitting in with group norms"
The comments you're sharing here from your friend actually sound less to me like some kind of irrational phobia, and more like someone who is struggling to articulate subtle, unspoken social norms in the face of demands for logical "rules" or a debate over whether those norms are right or wrong.
Add that to your comments about her insistence, and your questions about the acceptability of your feet, leads me to ask: is this friend a completely platonic friend, or is this a date or potential date?
Because if this was a date, introducing you to her group of friends, then feet and flip flops aren't the point at all. The important thing is her comment about looking like you didn't make much of an effort. If that's what's going on here, then stop arguing, because it's not an issue with an objectively right or wrong answer.
You may not give a flying flip-flop whether you fit in with her friends, but she does. You're not going to change your relative importance in her eyes by arguments, but by demonstrating that her opinion matters to you, and that you're willing to put some effort into cultivating the relationship and getting along with the people she cares about.
Now, if you're not interested in securing her good opinion of you, never mind. But whether she's a friend-friend or a date-friend, amassing "proof" that she's wrong, crazy, or weird is not going to take that friendship anywhere good.