Ivan had more or less taken it for granted that – with Miles’s approval and in-principle agreement, or so he had thought (I don’t think Miles had made any firm, explicit promise) – he would be able to keep the small portable, stationed at my house: and that he’d be able to watch it on future stays of his at my place (and that I could use it on any rare occasion when there might be something that I’d like to watch). Miles and family had, as stated, no use for the set for themselves; and in Ivan’s perception, Miles had seemed happy enough to let Ivan effectively “inherit” it.
Ivan has been wondering: is it wrong and special-snowflaky of him to feel this way about the situation (other than in the privacy of his own skull, giving no sign of his annoyance to anyone else); or are his sentiments understandable, and many people in his position would be likely to feel as he does?
Went back to the initial post, which seems to state that there was no explicit promise made by Miles to let Ivan have the TV and that the bolded items are Ivan's perception of the situation. So, my observations are that Ivan's feelings are based on his conclusions as he didn't have overt statements from Miles, except when the TV was requested to be returned. I don't think Ivan's private feelings are SS, but he's also basing his conclusions on feeling that Miles picked some unknown/barely-known girl's needs over Ivan's. To me, it appears that Miles picked his (Miles') wife's wishes over Ivan's; I don't think the reason the wife wanted the TV returned matters here at all (she could've wanted it back to donate to charity or to use as a shelf for her plants, etc. -- the bottom line is she wanted it back).
, and others who have wondered about original terms of deal and how it was initiated and by whom: I'm honestly not sure how the matter originated -- whether Ivan asked Miles for the loan of the television, or whether Miles suggested unprompted, that Ivan use it while staying at my place. (And in either case, loan situation perhaps to be indefinitely prolonged.) In the nature of things, I've been seeing much more of Ivan than of Miles, and the picture of things I get, is filtered through Ivan's viewpoint. I'm not interested in any sort of television-related stuff, and it all tends to be off my radar: Ivan may have told me which of them actually initiated the loan-of-the-telly thing -- but if he did tell me re that detail of the deal, I've forgotten that information.
Do I think they could've been a little more considerate and waited two days when Ivan had moved out? Yeah but given that Ivan and Ekaterin barely tolerate each other and Ivan had something that also belonged to Ekaterin, I could see why she didn't care about showing Ivan consideration (am not saying it's okay; just saying I understand why things went the way they did). I think Ivan is fine being irritated, but I think he's being irritated for the wrong reasons (thinking that Miles chose Elli over him). Ivan also needs to understand that it's more important to Miles to keep his wife happy.
Best bet for the future is not to "borrow" anything from Miles and Ekaterin.
Normally, Ivan and Miles work well together over this kind of thing (borrowing / lending gear etc.): but on this particular occasion, matters happened to go a little bit sour.Deetee
writes: "Unless I missed something, I don't think the borrower changed his plans? His departure was set and then a few days before the time he didn't need the TV, his brother asked for it back."cicero
writes: "From what I understand from cabbageweevil's update, Ivan postponed his departure and that's when the brother asked for it back."cicero
: not so, in fact -- my mention of Ivan's postponing his departure for a day was, I now see, irrelevant / unnecessary / confusing -- sorry !
Timeline of the TV debacle was: Oct. 17th, Miles came round in person, asking for the television back. Oct. 18th, Ivan returned it to him. At that time, Ivan's departure down to his new home was planned for Oct. 21st. Because of bad weather on that day: on the morning of that day, Ivan postponed his departure until today, Oct. 22nd -- he's on his way to his new place as I type this.