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  • August 03, 2015, 08:44:21 AM

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1
Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: Vacation Hills to Die On - What's yours?
« Last post by Gyburc on Today at 08:42:25 AM »
I seem to get that every time I go on holiday, especially if it's a special trip away. Last time DH and I left Little G with his grandparents and went on a nice mini-vacation, we both got some kind of stomach flu...  :(

My vacation hill to die on: When we go on holiday with my ILs next week I will not make fish pie!

Last year, we went to stay with MIL and FIL and other family members in a house they own in a neighbouring country. We had been out all day, and made a trip into the supermarket to get dinner. MIL asked me what I thought she should get; I said I didn't mind as long as it could be prepared quickly, because it was already quite late and I really wanted Little G to eat with us before putting him to bed. She suggested fish pie, I said I thought that sounded good and went off to do some other shopping quickly while she picked out some fish. In the car on the way back, MIL asked if I would cook the pie, but I said I needed to look after Little G.

We arrived back at the house, and MIL, FIL and everyone else sat down in chairs and waited... and waited... and waited...  >:(

I am not good at this game, so I cracked, got up and started making the blasted pie. DH came over to help after a minute. My mood was not improved when I discovered that MIL had bought some prawns to go in the pie - with the shells still on. (To be fair to her, MIL did come over and help shelling the prawns.)

In the end, Little G was in bed before the pie was ready; it took about an hour and a half to prepare and cook, and DH and I had to stop in the middle to feed Little G and get him ready for bed.

I will not make fish pie, I will not make fish pie, I will not make fish pie...

In that scenario, my hill to die on would be vacationing with the ILs. And your DH was sitting with the others? Not seeing to his child's needs?

No, he was playing the game too, he is just better at it than I am...  :) As soon as I cracked, he came and helped pretty much straight away, but until then he was sitting tight and trying to out-wait the others so we wouldn't have to do the cooking again. To the PP who suggested going to a restaurant - I might have done, but there aren't any nearby, and Little G would have had a melt-down if I'd tried to take him out anywhere.

I think it will be better this time round, because Little G is older and able to eat a lot of adult dishes, and I'm more relaxed about his schedule. I was pregnant last time too, so was suffering from hormones which didn't help matters much. Still, I'll make sure to have a chat with DH about making sure this doesn't happen again.

2
Family and Children / Re: Surprise guest got less than warm reception
« Last post by oogyda on Today at 08:38:14 AM »
TurtleDove, I agree with you. 

It was ridiculous to travel 4 hours to surprise him with the expectation of having the attention she would get if this were prearranged. 


3
Family and Children / Re: Wedding registry - so frustrated...
« Last post by TurtleDove on Today at 08:37:57 AM »
If you choose Macy's, find something that fits your budget.  You are not required to buy them a gift listed on the registry.  You can see their taste, style, and colors, and I think you could find something to go with whatever is on their registry, whether it's kitchen tools, towels, decorative soaps, silk plant, matching throw pillows, set of coffee mugs, candle holders, etc.

I agree with spending what fits your budget, but I strongly advise people to not substitute their choices for things the HC has picked out. People have preferences, and chances are your best intentions will result in a gift that is returned or simply not used. Taste, style and color is very nuanced, and so easy to get wrong. It could be the HC chose a set of glasses for the shape, not the color, for example, but you only saw color so got them something they really don't like at all because it is not the same shape. Or towels for the fuzziness factor, not the pattern, but you only saw the color scheme and got them towels they will never use.

I remember a thread about baby showers and someone mentioned that if the MTB registered for a Winnie the Pooh lamp they would give a light yellow lamp because it fit the theme. To me, it absolutely does *not* fit the theme and while all gifts are "appreciated" would be useless to the MTB and a wasted of the gifters time and money.
4
Family and Children / Re: Wedding and Milestone Birthday Dilemma
« Last post by TurtleDove on Today at 08:33:17 AM »
I understand that the birthday celebration is important to the OP, but I really do feel that such a celebration for 10 people can happen almost any time whereas a wedding really cannot. There is no special need for a caterer or people coming in from out of town or an officiant or _____. People just show up and celebrate.

Here it is complicated by the fact the wedding date changed after the OP had plans. If it were me, I would reschedule my birthday drinks (because, even though it is 10 people, it is in fact the OP getting together to have drinks with friends) for my SIL's wedding. I certainly would not expect or even ask my DH to skip his sister's wedding.

The OP can hold her ground and refuse to change her plans and she would absolutely be within etiquette to do so. In terms of what makes sense for the relationships involved, however, I would most certainly not do this.

If it were just her birthday party I'd agree with you. But the fact that it's a joint party changes things for me. She can't really ask the others to reschedule *their* party, and would be flaking out on a lot of people if she decides not to show up.

I see this point, but this goes both ways - there really is nothing special about that particular date, unless by chance everyone shares the same birthday. I just feel that it can be rescheduled, and if it were me (either if I were the OP or one of her friends) I would have no problem rescheduling.
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Family and Children / Re: Wedding and Milestone Birthday Dilemma
« Last post by MariaE on Today at 08:30:00 AM »
I understand that the birthday celebration is important to the OP, but I really do feel that such a celebration for 10 people can happen almost any time whereas a wedding really cannot. There is no special need for a caterer or people coming in from out of town or an officiant or _____. People just show up and celebrate.

Here it is complicated by the fact the wedding date changed after the OP had plans. If it were me, I would reschedule my birthday drinks (because, even though it is 10 people, it is in fact the OP getting together to have drinks with friends) for my SIL's wedding. I certainly would not expect or even ask my DH to skip his sister's wedding.

The OP can hold her ground and refuse to change her plans and she would absolutely be within etiquette to do so. In terms of what makes sense for the relationships involved, however, I would most certainly not do this.

If it were just her birthday party I'd agree with you. But the fact that it's a joint party changes things for me. She can't really ask the others to reschedule *their* party, and would be flaking out on a lot of people if she decides not to show up.
6
Family and Children / Re: Wedding registry - so frustrated...
« Last post by m2kbug on Today at 08:28:18 AM »
If you choose the honeymoon registry, pay $25.  Surely there's an "other" option or a 1-800 to call?  As mentioned, you could send them a check or money order, stating this is for their honeymoon (or they can choose to use it another way).

If you choose Macy's, find something that fits your budget.  You are not required to buy them a gift listed on the registry.  You can see their taste, style, and colors, and I think you could find something to go with whatever is on their registry, whether it's kitchen tools, towels, decorative soaps, silk plant, matching throw pillows, set of coffee mugs, candle holders, etc. 
7
I have Sony Xperia Z3 and my kid uses my old Xperia Z1, which is still as good as new although it's already perhaps 3-4 years old - more than a lifetime in smart phone years... Best phones there are, IMHO - the battery lasts the longest according to most of the tests and the phones are rarely buggy at all. And they use Android.

I have the Xperia Z1s. I do like it, but don't like the limitations in customizing, with is part of the Sony deal with T-Mobile.
8
I'll never buy an iPhone, the restrictions on what you can do is just too much. It is good for the average user, but I heavily customize my devices.

My next phone will be an Asus Zenfone 2. I just purchased one, unlocked, for DS. It is worth not having to pay for the monthly fee for the phone, just the service. The 64 GB on board space can be doubled with an SD card, so I would never run out of space. Also, the way the phone is made, it is a 5.5" screen in a 5" body. It's a beauty.
9
Family and Children / Re: Can we just let him sleep?
« Last post by Margo on Today at 08:21:29 AM »
I don't think it is rude.

I think that you could simply leave a note, or you could say to him the evening before that you anticipate being up and heading to the beach by around 9, and would he like you to wake him or would he prefer to join you in his own time.

I personally would probably have the conversation in person rather than leaving a note, and would probably say to him what you've said here - that you don't expect him to adapt to your timing, and have no issue at all with him catching up on his sleep in the morning, and that you hope that all three of you can enjoy the break at your own respective paces.

Are you likley to be going to bed earlier than him as well? is so, you may want to have a conversation abotu how you time your meals in the evening, too...
10
Family and Children / Re: Surprise guest got less than warm reception
« Last post by TurtleDove on Today at 08:21:14 AM »


Why would he have not asked his GF to *be his date* is the question I find most important. It is a natural date event. The GF wasn't doing something special to surprise her BF. He didn't ask her to be his date to the event, and she didn't ask him either. To me, that's odd.

GS attended the event with his chapter.  That amounted to 3 adult leaders driving 12 or 13 boys approximately 4 hours away.  The conference started on Friday, the banquet was Saturday and their final meeting was held Sunday.  There wasn't really an opportunity for GS to "have a date".

GF's girls chapter did not attend as a group.  Her parents drove her the 4 hours for this surprise.  I don't know if that qualifies as "doing something special".
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This makes it even more ridiculous to me then. The GF's actions and expectations are not at all appropriate. I simply cannot imagine discussing this with my BF.
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