News: There is a new Ehell Kindness Project!  Check it out in the "Extending the Hand of Kindness" folder or here: http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=139832.msg3372084#msg3372084   

  • May 26, 2016, 06:21:07 AM

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1
We do like our ice ;)!

Other than college dormitories, I've never lived anywhere without a full-size refrigerator/freezer combo.  In college, you could either rent or buy a mini-fridge (where the freezer section is almost useless).

I've never owned a refrigerator with an ice-maker or water dispenser, but my parents have owned several.  IME, ice-makers aren't particularly robust and tend to break down.

I've seen some countertop ice-makers -- if I had the counter space, I might get one, refilling ice trays gets old.
2
You have a horrible boss and I'd go over his head anyway. 
3
I haven't had a chance to post on the Chronicle forum yet. We've had a lot of issues with the new lab, so I've mostly been dealing with those. And if I was being honest, I've just been hoping it will all go away (stupid I know). For those suggesting I go, I've thought about leaving our lab (and research in general) over the years for a variety of resasons, but the whole idea of being pushed out by a couple of obnoxious students really grates. When I started, our research team just consisted of boss and me. We now have 15+ people and are at the forefront of our field. While not all that credit goes to me, a good deal of that success is based on my work. Boss is a terrible manager, and we've had some real doozies over the year. He's let some really bad HR situations spiral out of control because he thinks that things generally resolve themselves if left alone, and that the right thing to do is to asssume that everyone is a good person who will do the right thing. I on the other hand think that problems are best addressed when they first emerge, and they can usually be prevented by outlining our expectations regarding behaviour etc. in the first place. I was hoping things would get better, and on the whole they have. We have a large team, and on the whole, they function well. I've become the senior post-doc in the last year, so boss had said that he expected me to take more of a role in managing the team, which is what I expected as well. My new role has a significant promotion (and pay rise), so me taking over more authority would be in line with that, but it's all mixed messages.

After putting up with a lot of sniping this morning from both students this morning (in which I made a concerted effort to stand my ground), I tackled boss over their behaviour at lunchtime. I made it clear that the behaviour was getting worse and not going away. I asked him how he would like me to deal with it, and he basically gave me a lot of demeaning advice like don't inflame the situation, don't get into a shouting match, don't do anything in front of the other students etc. I was really irked about the shouting match comment, because I've never resorted to that behaviour at work. There have been two occasions over the years where I've had a student or coworker scream at me at in front of everyone, and both times I stayed calm, and complained to boss later only to be told to basically suck it up. When I pointed out to him today that persistently undermining and verbally attacking me was considered bullying, he got really upset that I would even use that word and announced that I was not even to think about going the HR route. I raised the idea of going to the person who was there to advise supervisors, and he just scoffed and forbade me to do that as well. Since I was curious as to whether he thought it wasn't bullying because I was the more senior person in the equation, I asked him if he thought EB was bullying one of our other students, which is another situation that's been developing over the last few months. He was pointedly silent, so I'm guessing he agrees that it is. I asked him whether he understood their behaviour was hurtful and was impacting my work. He agreed that it was. Then he said I was perfectly entitled to go to HR (yay, mixed messages), but things were best handled in-house. He announced that he would handle it, but in the meantime, I was to do nothing. When I pressed on him on how exactly I was to respond to them, he said I was to ignore any attacks and he would deal with it. He wasn't too clear on how I would go about ignoring them. I mean, do I end the conversation and walk away, or just plough on regardless?

I made it clear to him that he had not dealt with previous HR situations particularly well and I had felt let down several times. His conversations with people can be quite oblique, and he never approaches anything directly. I wanted to know what he would tell them and boss said he hadn't come up with a script yet. Just him using the word script is worrying. We had a really problematic RA for several years, and instead of telling her that she needed to turn up on time, get off the internet and do what she was paid to do, he decided the easiest route was to try appeal to her sense of empathy. So his "discplinary talks" basically consisted of him telling her how stressed and unwell I was, and how she should be trying to help me. All it did was create tension between me, because she now blamed me for her "increased" workload. I shudder to think how he's going to approach this situation.

So the current state of play is that I can do or say nothing until he deals with the situation (or at least according to him). He has promised to speak with the two students before he leaves next week for a trip, so that's not a permanent gag order, but I'm still not very happy about the situation. I'm still documenting everything in case.
4
Gardening / Re: Mel Has Fun With Aquaponics
« Last post by Chez Miriam on Today at 05:47:51 AM »
Thanks for the welcome, Mel, it's great to be "back"!

Those bees are so cute - no wonder you like them.  ;D  In France we see violet carpenter bees ["black bees with blue wings" as they were to us for several years; they sound like Lancaster bombers in miniature, and I don't think they'd fit in those pipe-ends!] https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=violet+carpenter+bee&hl=en-GB&biw=1366&bih=603&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&sqi=2&ved=0ahUKEwjB89ndxPfMAhWGHsAKHcTdB3MQsAQIIg&dpr=1#imgrc=_

The IBCs we saw were only labelled with the price, and in a shop that sells animal/plant supplies and exterior d.i.y. type stuff [in those kinds of shop (very much the "if you know what this is, you know what to do with it" kind of place) I'm often wondering what a 'thing' is, and whether we could use one (before reluctantly concluding that if I don't know what it's for, I'm unlikely to need it *however intriguing it looks*), although I have found many useful things I'd never realised existed].  They were outside, so I'm guessing they were for water storage, but they weren't with the water butts, so could have been for anything!  Now I'm wondering if they were some special UV-safe polythene, but somehow doubt it.  Good luck with your painting - I've never found much success at getting paint to stick to anything "plasticky".

Having never visited Australia, but heard a lot about your scary fauna ["drop bears" being a particular worry  ;) ;D], I am now imagining funnel-web spiders in open-ended pipes...  And hoping you're liberal with your sealant!

Whilst I'm *itching* to see your photos of the sketch realised, the part of me that's [oh-so-slowly] learning that sometimes being prevented from working myself into the ground is a *good thing* thinks that some force-for-good is protecting you from yourself.

Rest, and then be ready to go crazy when the rain stops!  >:D
5
Humor Me! / Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Last post by Gyburc on Today at 05:19:16 AM »
They are pretty wonderful at this age, aren't they, lilfox?  :)

I am having to try to teach Little G the expression 'each other'. He has made up his own phrase for it, and it's... um... open to misinterpretation:

'Mummy, those boys are playing with their selves.'

 :o
6
That when I say the rice is "half-done" and it should be ready in ten or fifteen minutes, that does not mean that it is time to come into the kitchen and start serving yourself in five minutes.

Apparently he was half listening and heard only the "key words", i.e. "rice" and "done".

At least it was no longer crunchy...

Apparently *I* need to work on either my diction or stop using confusing phrasing.  Like "fifteen minute warning" without using the word "done"...

I should never say "take the next exit" because to him, that means he's about to pass the one he's supposed to take, I'm supposed to tell him how far to the exit he is supposed to take...

I'm starting to wonder if he needs a hearing test or I need diction lessons.

Selective hearing and processing, everyone is guilty of that to some extent!
The only thing I could suggest is to say the same thing twice using a different phrasing, maybe it would help?
(Also, not that it was the problem here but, when someone asks you to repeat what you just said it's good to change the phrasing, sometimes it's the wording that doesn't go through/sounds weird, so by trying another set of words you can break that effect)

As for selective hearing, processing and memory recal, I remember explaining to someone who was complaining about a relative always gifting her banana scented soaps (made up exemple) that she hated that it was more or less a lost cause, because a) you never really confront someone saying you hate it do you? and b) when you drop hints the only thing that happens is that Gifter reinforce the mental link Giftee-banana soap, forgets that it was not well received, and proceed gifting banana soaps.
Best course of action IMO is to not mention the hated scent and instead mention that you love mango and pear. Hopefully it will build a Giftee-mango mental link...
7
Right now its people who automatically assume that their computer could never catch a virus...

Cue this morning's long, long, phone call with an user. Now, when you are the only person reporting a certain link loads a different page, we can't replicate the issue on 24 tests, and virus and malware checks on the server come up clean, and then you finally admit you aren't running an antivirus but you know you don't have a virus on there... yes, of course, it's our service that's the problem.  ::) And when our remote check flags a browser redirector on your device, that must obviously mean its our detection at fault. Yes, our competition is down the hall, why don't you speak to them?

I need coffee.
8
If you ask for ice in a drink in the U.K. you will get two or three cubes in your glass, not a whole glass full.  I've only spent about a total of three months in the U.S. on holiday, but just about every hotel and motel we stayed in had ice machines, which were free. I've never seen such a machine in the U.K.  Maybe I lead a very sheltered life!  You guys like your ice.  I did ask the guide in an historic house  (who incidentally expressed amazement that very few domestic kitchens would have had any form of ice in them until the 1960's; only large houses had ice houses in the grounds) why, but she wasn't forthcoming.  I only know one person who has what is termed an American-style fridge i.e. it has a tank for iced water, but that has to be filled manually and is not plumbed in. (And she had it delivered before the kitchen units went it because it wouldn't fit in otherwise; it's going to be interesting if she ever has to take it out...)

So... tell me your refrigeration stories, please.
9
Trans-Atlantic Knowledge Exchange / Re: S/0 Shared laundry facility
« Last post by Mustard on Today at 03:58:52 AM »
I was going to say the same thing as Flibbertigibbet; there isn't a term like 'hook up' here. I was discussing this thread with my husband, and we touched on the refrigeration appliances too; time for a spin off from a spin off methinks!
10
Search engines that don't!

I'm trying to get hold of seeds for a particular plant. I did some Googling, and found an Australian EBay seller that's offering them. (Most of the sellers I've found are from the U.S. or China, and while I know Customs will probably allow these seeds into the country because it's already grown here and isn't listed as a weed, a) I'm not 100% sure, b) it would take ages, and c) I prefer to shop in-country.) I don't have an EBay account, and I don't want to create one for a $3 packet of ten seeds, so I asked the Good Ethnic Boy (DH) to buy them on his account.

He logs into EBay, does a search for the seller's name, and... nothing. Checks the spelling and capitalisation with me, tries again... nothing.

He searches for the common name of the plant, and gets umpteen thousand listings for old Tarzan novels, because it was named after one. ;D (Okay, that part was funny!)

He searches for the scientific name, and gets fourteen listings for seeds from China and the U.S. ...but no listing from the Australian seller. :o

At this point I went back to my computer, where I still had the listing open, and refreshed it to confirm that it hadn't vanished overnight. Nope, still up, still active, and everything is spelled the way we were spelling it. ???

Finally I told him to Google the same search terms I originally used, and there it was, half-way down the first page of results. So EBay Australia's internal search engine can't find this (prolific!) Australian seller, can't find the listing, can find a bunch of foreign sellers... but Google finds the one I want, no problem?!

(And after all that, the seller's gone on holiday until tomorrow, so EBay wouldn't let us buy it!)
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