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  • May 06, 2015, 05:30:16 AM

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Techno-quette / Re: Online karma: a bad idea?
« Last post by zyrs on Today at 05:16:50 AM »
Absolutely a horrid idea.
My hunch is that someone who genuinely didn't understand the soft no would have told her daughter-in-law something like "oh, I don't want to be any trouble, here's how I can make the visit easy for you." Saying nothing and turning up anyway is the act of someone who suspects that if she did that, she might get a more direct "thanks for offering, but I really don't want company that weekend, not even family." This let her pretend (at least to her husband, and maybe to herself) that the visit was wanted.

It is also the thought process of someone with narcissistic tendencies (as others have pointed out) who cannot grasp the concept that her DIL does not want her to come. If she thinks it is a good idea, then it is a good idea. She doesn't need to run it by the DIL because of course the DIL will think as she does. And then is blindsided herself by the DIL crying.

No won't cut it with people who don't even tell you they are coming. You pretty much have to meet them at the door and tell them to turn around and go back home. And then they think you are 'crazy' and 'unwelcoming' but at least you get the weekend to yourself.
Family and Children / Re: Well at least they listen to me
« Last post by oz diva on Today at 04:27:12 AM »
I get around this problem by emailing the the invitation to the parents. But you might not have their email addresses I guess. Our school has a system of sharing class contact details at the beginning of the year, it's a very handy system.
@Mustard - I'm sure if we counted, we would have over 138 mismatched single socks. It almost fills 1/2 of a standard laundry basket. And we purge every 6months. Its beyond annoying where all these socks disappear to I like the idea of intentionally wearing mismatched socks.

Mismatched socks come from one of the socks going down the drain, something my plumber friends tell me is a frequent occurrence and makes them lots of money on clogged drains.

Going down what drain? There aren't any drains in my home that are big enough for a sock to get into. And I must say in probably 25 years of doing my own laundry at ... 10 different residences, I've never lost a sock. I honestly thought people were joking before about mismatched / misplaced socks!
5 general / Re: Would it be rude to ask? OP #30
« Last post by nolechica on Today at 03:39:39 AM »
I don't think she needs to consult the Grandma's on having everyone dropped off.  The OP is in charge of getting everyone to the venue for the event and she's doing that in the most hassle free way for everyone.  Yes, she is asking BF to go the extra mile, or extra 5 blocks as it might seem, but that is why he is the only person she needs to consult with for her plan.

There are plenty of reasons beyond anyone's age why its a good idea to have everyone dropped off.  For one thing, parking garages can be icky places.  They also have tight spaces that make it hard for people to get out of the car, especially when there are a lot of cars.

When you accept a ride from someone in a group going to an event, I think you give up certain sensitivities.  If everyone is getting dropped off, you get dropped off too.  It's not a message that you are infirm, its just an easy way to get things organized and done.

As a person who is frequently designated to park the car for the family (both my fiance's and my own), due to mobility and comfort in traffic, the above are my feelings as well.  Parking lots/garages are so much easier to navigate by myself than with a group.

Speaking from experience, I'd like to add that when I'm asked to do this, I prefer to drive the whole way, as to make the drop off smoother.  Its nice when everybody is ready and packed to get out of the car once at the destination, as I start to feel awkward if we take too long in the loading/unloading zone.  This means come up with your seating/meeting plan in the car on the way to the event, not once you're there. 

Additionally, make sure that one person (in this case, probably your daughter) is waiting for the driver outside of the event, or at least have someone keeping an eye on their cell phone at all times for when the driver needs to come find you.  The only time I've ever felt put-out as a designated parker was when everyone just went into the event, and I had to walk around a large theatre until I found them.  That made me feel like an un-paid valet.

One last piece of advice.  Try to pick a spot, maybe one or two blocks away from the event, if possible, for the driver to pick you up.  When events like graduations start, everyone filters in over an hour or more, but when they end, everyone leaves at once.  Picking a pickup spot, even a block away, can save the driver a lot of traffic hassle.

Yep and the person that drops off should probably pick up too.  That may mean it makes more since for DD and Bob to go together.
Researchers who have looked into picky eating have found that raw tomatoes are a common dislike. The texture is the problem, not the taste.


I eat pretty much anything except raw tomatoes.  I love them cooked.  For me at least, it is the taste.  Raw tomatoes taste like dirty water to me.  Always have.  Other foods I have grown to like, but every time I try raw tomatoes, I hate them all over again.

The only exception is the tomato on a salad at my favorite tastes delicious every time, so I thought I found a raw tomato that I liked! Then I found out that they blanche them.  I wonder what that does that makes me like them again.  I mean blanching doesn't really cook them, they are only in the boiling water for 30 seconds or so.  I wonder if they peel them too, I haven't noticed.

My guess would be that they do. I think that blanching and peeling tomatoes improves them as well. I think the heat helps bring out the natural sweetness or something and makes the texture a bit more uniform.
Family and Children / Re: Well at least they listen to me
« Last post by browzer11 on Today at 03:24:21 AM »
No. It's not rude at all. And that's not what I was implying.

As I said, it's difficult to word this. (for me).

Let's just say I might have approached this somewhat differently.

Family and Children / Re: Well at least they listen to me
« Last post by miranova on Today at 03:13:33 AM »
I'm not sure what you mean by risky. 

It sounds like you are trying really hard not to offend me, but if you are trying to say that passing out invitations to less than the whole class is rude, you can go ahead and say that!  I won't be upset.  I probably wouldn't agree with you, but right now I'm having a hard time understanding if that is indeed what you are saying or not.  :)

9 general / Re: Rude to ask for chair back?
« Last post by sweetonsno on Today at 02:56:59 AM »
I agree with others: a better way to phrase this would have been as a request, like, "May I have my chair back?"

I do wonder whether this guy and his friends may have been confused about the chair situation. It seems like these days, people aren't always totally sure how things like potlucks and BYOBs work. If his understanding was that everyone was bringing chairs to share (as opposed to bringing a chair for their own use), I can see why he might be surprised. It sounds like there were chairs that were communal, so I'm not sure I think he should be expected to know. I don't think it's really anybody's fault in that case, though the glaring was most certainly uncalled for.

So, short answer: he was fine to sit there, you were fine to ask for the chair back, I give him a pass for not catching on right away, but no pass for the death stares.

FWIW, I do think it's wise to leave something in the chair to show that it is temporarily vacated (rather than no longer in use and therefore up for grabs).
The Wedding Party / Re: Is this forgivable or completely awful?
« Last post by MariaE on Today at 02:36:16 AM »
And I, too, wonder about that $250 rental.  You can buy a decent tuxedo for that, I would think.

You can buy a passable business suit (or a good used one) for that price. Don't know about a tux. I'd be surprised if you could get one new for that price.

Powers  &8^]

Around here you can buy a very decent business suit for that price.  Tuxedos are usually not made quite as well ( or made well but of less durable fabrics ) because it is not anticipated that they'll see as much use as a business suit and for that reason they are often a little less expensive. 

Tux rental places will often sell "out of season" pre-worn tuxes for astonishingly little!

According to the OP, they've been asked to rent a very specific tux, so that probably explains the price. Her boyfriend can't go out and get just any tux.
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