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Given the timeframe, I don't see the upset.

Basically what was being asked was that a TV was returned so it didn't sit in storage for an extended period of time when someone else wanted to use it.

Also, Miles was a knave for shoving his wife under the bus.

I'd find it difficult to feel scorn for Miles for this reason.  Ekaterin is a pretty tough lady, and has no problems in going for what she wants -- even if that can make her less than popular.  It's definitely her who rules the household, and -- except in extremis -- Miles meekly says "yes, dear".  Even if he had claimed that requirement for return of appliance came from him; Ivan and I would have reckoned it extremely likely that he was in fact, acting under spousal orders.

Ekaterin isn't a horrible person, and has assorted good qualities; but, "see above".  Miles and she do seem, in their way, to love each other -- and they've been married for some 25 years.
Ivan had more or less taken it for granted that  – with Miles’s approval and in-principle agreement, or so he had thought (I don’t think Miles had made any firm, explicit promise) – he would be able to keep the small portable, stationed at my house: and that he’d be able to watch it on future stays of his at my place (and that I could use it on any rare occasion when there might be something that I’d like to watch). Miles and family had, as stated, no use for the set for themselves; and in Ivan’s perception, Miles had seemed happy enough to let Ivan effectively “inherit” it.

Ivan has been wondering: is it wrong and special-snowflaky of him to feel this way about the situation (other than in the privacy of his own skull, giving no sign of his annoyance to anyone else); or are his sentiments understandable, and many people in his position would be likely to feel as he does?

Went back to the initial post, which seems to state that there was no explicit promise made by Miles to let Ivan have the TV and that the bolded items are Ivan's perception of the situation.  So, my observations are that Ivan's feelings are based on his conclusions as he didn't have overt statements from Miles, except when the TV was requested to be returned.  I don't think Ivan's private feelings are SS, but he's also basing his conclusions on feeling that Miles picked some unknown/barely-known girl's needs over Ivan's.  To me, it appears that Miles picked his (Miles') wife's wishes over Ivan's; I don't think the reason the wife wanted the TV returned matters here at all (she could've wanted it back to donate to charity or to use as a shelf for her plants, etc. -- the bottom line is she wanted it back). 

SoCalVal, and others who have wondered about original terms of deal and how it was initiated and by whom: I'm honestly not sure how the matter originated  -- whether Ivan asked Miles for the loan of the television, or whether Miles suggested unprompted, that Ivan use it while staying at my place. (And in either case, loan situation perhaps to be indefinitely prolonged.)  In the nature of things, I've been seeing much more of Ivan than of Miles, and the picture of things I get, is filtered through Ivan's viewpoint.  I'm not interested in any sort of television-related stuff, and it all tends to be off my radar: Ivan may have told me which of them actually initiated the loan-of-the-telly thing -- but if he did tell me re that detail of the deal, I've forgotten that information.

Do I think they could've been a little more considerate and waited two days when Ivan had moved out?  Yeah but given that Ivan and Ekaterin barely tolerate each other and Ivan had something that also belonged to Ekaterin, I could see why she didn't care about showing Ivan consideration (am not saying it's okay; just saying I understand why things went the way they did).  I think Ivan is fine being irritated, but I think he's being irritated for the wrong reasons (thinking that Miles chose Elli over him).  Ivan also needs to understand that it's more important to Miles to keep his wife happy.

Best bet for the future is not to "borrow" anything from Miles and Ekaterin.
Normally, Ivan and Miles work well together over this kind of thing (borrowing / lending gear etc.): but on this particular occasion, matters happened to go a little bit sour.

Deetee writes: "Unless I missed something, I don't think the borrower changed his plans?  His departure was set and then a few days before the time he didn't need the TV, his brother asked for it back."

cicero writes: "From what I understand from cabbageweevil's update, Ivan postponed his departure and that's when the brother asked for it back."

cicero : not so, in fact -- my mention of Ivan's postponing his departure for a day was, I now see, irrelevant / unnecessary / confusing -- sorry !

Timeline of the TV debacle was: Oct. 17th, Miles came round in person, asking for the television back.  Oct. 18th, Ivan returned it to him. At that time, Ivan's departure down to his new home was planned for Oct. 21st.  Because of bad weather on that day: on the morning of that day, Ivan postponed his departure until today, Oct. 22nd -- he's on his way to his new place as I type this.

Recipe Requests / Re: Really good low sugar/carb holiday dessert recipe?
« Last post by cicero on Today at 03:19:16 AM »
I would ask her first what she wants to do. she may actually prefer no dessert or a small piece of something decadent.
4 general / Re: Help Drafting a Letter
« Last post by cicero on Today at 03:17:12 AM »
are you *sure* that this isn't spam of some sort?

I totally agree.

If i was you i would forget all about trying to write to this person and get your computer checked for viruses and keystroke loggers right now. Opening those emails has left you open to all sorts of nasties. I would be changing any and all passwords i used with financial institutions. These phishing scams have been around as long as the internet. Do not open anything that lands in your in tray that is not addressed correctly to you.

This is of no help to the opener and completely unneccessary.  The emails are correctly addressed to her - that's her problem, it's clear from the OPs comments that they are not phishing scams .

OP I wouldn't bother trying to contact the other person.  If the emails are important she will have chased and got copies sent to her real address, I would just delete every one that is not intended for you.
I don't see why our comments were of no help or unnecessary. there are emails that are obvious scams ("You won 95 million dollars!") or phishing ("your shipment through BigCourierCompany has a problem please click here to update your cc information to resolve it") or selling me medications to enhance a body part that i do not have - we all get those. but at the same time, I can't tell you how many emails i receive at my work address (both to the general <admin@organization> email and <myname@organization> email) that are (a) correctly addressed to me and (b) from a legit company/hotel/shipping company/organization/bank and (c) are phishing, scams, etc. I mentioned above that I even get emails *from* me *to* me. So i wouldn't immediately discredit the thought that these may be spam.
Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Last post by Nikko-chan on Today at 03:14:12 AM »
(s)...there are 3 of you and only 1 of me.  All 3 of you cannot sit in my lap at once.  It is not nice to sit on your sisters head until she moves.

*snicker* I actually laughed out loud.
6 general / Re: What's the most unhurtful but clear response?
« Last post by Redsoil on Today at 03:11:04 AM »
"Oh, it's a different guest-list this year.  You know how these things go."  And if he continues to push, simply say (nicely) "Fred, I hope you understand, but you're not one of the guests."
I think what you're doing is fine.  Right now "everybody" is inviting everyone to everything.  In a few years, it'll be perfectly normal to only invite a select few kids to parties and the like.  You're just starting earlier than everyone else :D

You're not rude for having a party/event you can afford.  People who get all butthurt are the ones in the wrong
Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Last post by PastryGoddess on Today at 02:46:11 AM »
(s)...there are 3 of you and only 1 of me.  All 3 of you cannot sit in my lap at once.  It is not nice to sit on your sisters head until she moves. 
Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Last post by Nikko-chan on Today at 02:20:57 AM »
Dear Ciaran,

It was not, I repeat not, nice of you to go 'crunch crunch crunch' and send me running to see what you had because you were in my room with me and i knew it wasn't cat food. I thought you were nibbling a book cover. It turned out to be a potato chip. Which is human food. You know you aren't allowed to have human food! I have never known a cat to have a taste for potato chips... or half the things you eat!

Your -still slightly baffled- Mama
10 general / Re: B list invite?
« Last post by Redsoil on Today at 02:14:03 AM »
Can't see a problem with it.  Work out a plan and date(s), then make the offer to anyone else you feel may be interested.  Happens all the time!  Otherwise no-one would do anything, ever.
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