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Family and Children / Re: Really, I just want water!
« Last post by Isisnin on Today at 12:36:32 PM »
I have a neighbor friend who is just like your MIL. She is so intent on being what she believes is a good hostess that she often ends up making her guests uncomfortable with her constant interrupting to offer whatever.

In self-defense, I started requesting, cold water (which is my most preferred drink). My having a glass by my side relaxes her enough that visits can be enjoyable. Sometimes I accept water even when I know I will hardly touch it, if at all, just to stop that harassment (which is what it can feel like).

But it was quite the effort to make her accept that I'm a water drinker. I didn't just have to lather, rinse and repeat, I also had to explain to her (repeatedly) that I can't drink too much dairy/carbonation/caffeine/sugar or I get intestinal problems and/or can't have any more to drink since I'm walking the dog/running errands and won't have the opportunity to use a bathroom. Really, it was that bad that I had to be that specific.

It's actually worked out over the years. She still kinda pressures me if I don't explain why I decline. And sometimes, just to end the pressure, I'll accept and barely touch the water, because my having a glass does calm her. It's kinda like we have met halfway.

As to why, I think that my friend has more than a bit of narcissism in her. there are other aspects I've noticed that indicate this. But in regard to hosting, she is so blinded by her need to be a Good Hostess that she doesn't even notice that she is making her guests uncomfortable (I've been at parties where she'll interrupt guests in the middle of really good and fun conversations just so she can ask each of them if they want more of this, then that, then the other thing).

This may not be the why your MIL has, but it sounds like that same bottom line applies: she won't stop offering. But maybe with time and effort, you can find a halfway point with her. Good Luck.

Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Last post by ladyknight1 on Today at 12:32:58 PM »
Dear Mocha,

I'm not sure what the emergency was at 8:15, but I assure you that it was not reason enough to howl in my bedroom like you were being slain.
I came downstairs to check and you have food, water, and your litter box was cleaned yesterday. I will ignore any future howls.

Also, the brushing will not hurt you, it's removing the spare cat's worth of fur you have.


But to answer the question:  I wouldn't call out the friend, but I would ask him to stop and suggest that he find someone else to take his pet.  How horrible a pet owner he must be, poor animal.
I am so sorry about the loss of your beloved guinea pig. 

People can be so clueless about pet deaths.  Something that was very hurtful to me, which I still remember, was when I had my poor cat Ray Charles euthanized due to a terrible disease... when he was only one year old.  He was one of the best cats of all time, and he had a tragically short life (and several months of his very short life were spent miserably in an animal shelter).  I was not just mourning the loss of a very special pet I loved dearly, but also upset that he got so little life, and a ton of people said, "I know just how you feel.  Last year I had my 14 year-old cat put down."  That upset me more, because their pet had a normal lifespan and they got a normal amount of time with it, and it was like salt in my wound.

I think the only appropriate thing to say when a pet passes is along the lines of  "I'm so sorry.  How very sad.  It's very hard to lose a beloved pet." 
Attire / Re: What should the officiant wear?
« Last post by PastryGoddess on Today at 12:25:17 PM »
Pretty dress!

I think anything in the warm tones would work.  I'm partial to red as it's my favorite color
Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: When Starbucks is out of coffee...
« Last post by Allyson on Today at 12:14:47 PM »
When I worked at a sandwich place we ran out of 3 of our 4 types of bread once. That was not fun to explain to people...
Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: Little House books S/O thread
« Last post by jmarvellous on Today at 12:13:38 PM »
Waiting for the Kindle version.

I don't know about this since the book is published by a small company. Though I have no clue what's involved in making an e-book, so what do I know? :P It is the size of a coffee table book (quite hefty!) with more footnotes than actual text.

I used to do freelance editing for a major ebook company. They made ebooks for a huge range of publishers of print books, from very small presses to household names, plus e-only and self-published works, all with a staff of around 10 people. It's definitely not outside the realm of possibility, and it's not crazy expensive for a small press to contract out just one title to an ebook developer.
Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: DECLUTTERING
« Last post by VorFemme on Today at 12:08:02 PM »
I'm in the sewing room, finishing a couple of fleece throws.  I've used the serger to trim the selvages off, run a line of stitching along the edge using my 1/4" presser foot, turn under, and feather stitch (or something) along to self bind the edges so that they don't curl up or stretch out of shape.  They're going out to their new owners in two weeks (Grandma always has something hidden in her suitcases - it's traditional, my grandmothers did it, my parents did it for the kids - at least some of the time, and I'm doing it for my grandkids). 

Sometimes it's something small...this time it's a fleece throw for DGS with Marvel comics heroes all over it and the second one is a surprise.

Then I have to steam clean some spots on the stairs & upstairs hall and get back to doing something with a cut but not sewn chemise for the Renaissance Festival in Georgia - the current ******* cotton is going to be "too hot" - I have some rayon blend that should be a lot more comfortable in warm weather.  Menopause seems to = never ending hot flashes. I'm wondering if it ever ends.

I'm also sorting through things on the shelves and have a large paper bag of "stuff" ready to drop off at the Goodwill.  I'm sure there's more in the stash - but I'm thinking that I need some new clothes that fit and are in better shape.  Getting rid of the tub of "too small" clothes would have the benefit of letting me go back to sorting out the cold weather clothes from the hot weather clothes (it does get cold in Houston, it's just not cold enough to snow very often - when the summer temperatures are hotter than human body temperature, other people's fall weather seems cold by comparison).
Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Last post by Hillia on Today at 11:57:56 AM »
I once knew a man who won an expensive prize (a speedboat) in a convenience store contest.  As part of the conditions for winning, he had to pose for publicity photos.  He had a young family and no money to spare, so his wife bought him an outfit that met the requirements of the photo shoot, taped the tags inside so they wouldn't show, and returned the clothes after the shoot.

(He also sold the speedboat and bought a pontoon boat, aka party barge, that was something his family could use.  They got a tremendous amount of pleasure from that boat for a long time).
All In A Day's Work / Re: Quick Question about Thank You Notes
« Last post by Yvaine on Today at 11:45:58 AM »
Why would it take forever for a handwritten note to get to her? That really is the gold standard of TY's and I often see them in business/interview type situations.
There is nothing categorically wrong with sending an email, but personally if I had heard that said to me, I would not choose that option.

But if you are determined not to do paper, an email TY is better than no TY at all.

In every job that I have interviewed for, the decision was made within days, if not sooner -- and I am not just talking about one industry. I know that hand written letters are more personal and used to be the standard, but in my experience, there is no way that a snail mail thank you would make it before a decision was made. And I'd hate to think that my "lack of a thank you" contributed to a decision.

I agree with sending the email. And good luck!

This. Ask a Manager endorses the email thank you for just this reason.
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