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  • July 01, 2015, 01:56:15 AM

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1
Humor Me! / Re: Trick question jokes
« Last post by MariaE on Today at 01:15:55 AM »
What is greater than God
More evil than the devil
The rich need it
The poor have it
And if you eat it you die

Nothing :)


I have a couple...

--You enter a dark room holding a box of matches. In the room is a candle, an oil lamp and a fireplace. What is the first thing you light?

--How many months have 28 days?

--How many times can you take 10 out of 100?

--Can a man marry his widow's sister?

--How many birthdays does a person generally have?
2
All In A Day's Work / As of midnight today I am unemployed...
« Last post by alkira6 on Today at 01:13:50 AM »
...and I'm okay with that.  I have been preparing for this for months now and we are about to have our last "hoorah!" with a vacation that we've been planning for two years. After that it's much tighter budget wise.

I have a couple of things that I need advise with.

1. What are some tips for saving money? I have done the obvious - get rid of things we don't need/use, clip coupons, shop sales - am I missing anything?

2. How do you keep from going crazy?  I have already promised to volunteer 1 day a week with my old principal, but I can't doo too much because of financial/medical reasons. Suggestions?

3. How do you deal with people being nosy about why you are suddenly unemployed without any outward reason for why?  I can see the nosiness coming  ::) and really don't want to deal with it.
3
Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: Weird question for the day
« Last post by Klein Bottle on Today at 01:13:40 AM »
Tupperware hoarder, here.   ;D

There have been too many times in which I have needed a container and not had one, or not had one the size needed, or could not find the lid for one I wanted to use. So now I have two shelves full of various kinds of plastic containers, and a full set of the Pyrex dishes with lids. Never again will a Thanksgiving take place and me not have enough storage containers for the leftovers!    ;D
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Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Last post by RooRoo on Today at 12:53:58 AM »
I suspect we didn't get the whole story on the SS who just had to smoke on the plane. Ordinarily, he'd be in jail facing some serious charges. That he went to a hospital for detoxification suggests that nicotine wasn't the only chemical in his system.

 :o  ::)
5
All In A Day's Work / Re: things people should stop doing at work
« Last post by Klein Bottle on Today at 12:45:42 AM »
Ok, Angie:

1. Ran out of gas on the way into work on a regular basis. She would then call my boss for help. The first couple times, he sent one of the shop guys out with a gas can to rescue her, and once he himself went to help. She was reminded that getting herself to work was her own responsibility, and told not to call again with the out of gas thing. Then she did it again. Boss happened to be under a lot of stress that morning, and told her to figure it out. Well, she kept calling, increasingly hysterical, until he finally sent me to help her. He was about the most understanding person ever, but he finally reached his limit with her.

2. She had a myriad of personal problems, all of which she aired and shared with everyone in the office. She would get on the office phone or her cell and yell and scream at her kid, her mom, the social workers who were trying to get her some much needed services, etc.

3. She would cry and sob at her desk, at top volume, to attract attention. There were several older, very courtly men working there, and at first they expressed concern, but eventually, their patience wore thin and there were complaints.

4. She lacked boundaries. She would get very personal and chummy with clients over the phone, and eventually, one of them mentioned it to my boss.

5. One Monday, she was a no-show, and it turned out, she had been arrested that morning on the way into work on a warrant for suspected theft. She had her lawyer call my boss and beg to keep her job.

There was a lot more, (as I said, she could star in her own thread), but I'm sure y'all get the picture. She didn't even work there that long, maybe two months tops, but she packed so much drama into those few short weeks. There were a thousand things she needed to stop doing at work. One of these days I will go on the PD thread and describe her eventual spectacular last day.That was one for the history books.
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Humor Me! / Re: Trick question jokes
« Last post by oz diva on Yesterday at 11:40:57 PM »
What is greater than God
More evil than the devil
The rich need it
The poor have it
And if you eat it you die

7
Crabby, thank you! For the second time today you've come through! I am going to order this. This is brilliant! :D

My pleasure...   :)
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Humor Me! / Re: Trick question jokes
« Last post by Nikko-chan on Yesterday at 11:19:52 PM »
I have one!

A plane crashed on the border of the U.S. and Canada. So where did they bury the survivors?
(Hint: They didn't. Survivors are the ones that lived!)
It stumps people more if you say it out loud. They usually try to puzzle it out lol.
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When an app doesn't have the same features as the website.  Especially when it's something like a posting limit iykwim. (Not Pinterest, that I can do all day and be fine but Other Site grrrrr)
10
Okay...I realize the first is not really etiquette related, but I have to say it anyway.

You're on vacation. That does not magically make dangerous situations non dangerous. The rocks at the top of the waterfall are very slippery and often moss covered. Plus the water is rushing at high speed. The fences and signs that say do not climb on top of the waterfall are not put there as mere decoration. Natural waterfalls are not the slippery slides you find at the water park. (At least once a year, some tourist climbs to the top of a waterfall, slips and falls to his or her death because of his or her own stupidity. Search and rescue personnel have to risk their own lives to retrieve the remains.)

You're on vacation. That does not mean you should stop your car on the overpass in the middle of town and get out to take pictures of the pretty lilies that the city planted there. That stretch of road is the major thoroughfare that carries tons of cars coming on and off the Interstate, both tourists and locals. It is not only rude to block a lane of traffic, it could also be deadly.

You're on vacation. Do not stop in the middle of a crosswalk to figure out which direction you should be going. Stopping and pulling out your phone or map should be done on the sidewalk not in front of a moving car.

Okay, why are mine so centered on safety problems? Because so many people seem to think that the laws of physics go on vacation when they do?
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