We solved the birthday dinner issue. We found a restaurant that has no tomato products at all. It's a Chinese place. We are going there to eat. After dinner we will figure out the rest. I think I like the idea of buying new cutting boards and knives to leave here. Bfmom still hosts the major holiday dinners, so having those things here will make those meals easier.
That sounds like a great idea. Can you put them in a plastic storage bin and leave them there in her garage/basement/attic/whatever, so nobody will stumble on them and think to use them? Or just bringing them and taking them back home would work well too.
I am glad the visit went so well, and I bet she will be much more understanding for future visits. It sucks that you had to end up in the ER, but I'm glad it was a "minor" reaction (for you - that sounds nothing like minor to me!). There's a big difference between knowing something factually, and really knowing
it. And with allergies this severe, unless you've experienced it before, it's very very hard to really know
. Now, she has a much better understanding of the situation.