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  • February 06, 2016, 10:10:15 AM

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I think the friends were rude.  They knew before even making the plans that traffic could be a possibility.   

Now, you had other plans to be in said city, so I would not be too upset.  But, if I was driving to said place to specifically meet said friends and they decided to bail, at this I would be annoyed if I had already been on my way to meet them, had to wait in traffic before I could even turn around to go home.
Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: Baby Names - You're kidding Right???
« Last post by WolfWay on Today at 05:20:31 AM »
Chesley. Looks like a typo for Chelsey.
This invitation is bizarre.  I don't understand inviting you to something and then announcing that the tickets are already purchased, but MAYBE you could get a spot somewhere near them.  I would think if she wanted to reconnect, there would be an effort to see if you can go and THEN buy the seats together, or purchase a third seat thinking you probably could go, and either eat the cost or invite someone else if you couldn't go, or even sell the spare to a stranger.  This is one of those chances you take.  "Let's buy a third for Meliboea, just in case.  She loves this stuff, and if she can't go, probably Roger can, or will see about a refund or Craigslist." 

Given your work and health issues, I think it would be fine if you bailed.  Sometimes life takes us on unexpected turns.  You're not thrilled with the lackadaisical approach either, and the A-list, B-list mentality and obligation.  You're willing to eat the cost of the ticket, so neither Sally or Kate are out any money, and you weren't a priority of sitting with them in the first place, so they'll be fine on their own. 

I might offer the ticket for them to sell to another friend - "If you know someone who wants to go, the ticket was $XX if they want to buy it from me," or they (one or both) can buy it from you and sell it to this other friend, or even sell it to a stranger.  The logistics of this is getting the money from the sale, so it would probably be best if Sally or Kate purchased the ticket and were reimbursed, since 4+ years later, you probably don't know this friend.  On that, don't feel obligated to cover the cost of this ticket if they can't sell it.  This would be their choice to buy it, and they would need to be willing to eat the cost if no one takes them up on it, just like you are willing to eat the cost. <--That kind of strayed, but just a thought.  I would want to see about getting my money back, if I could, even if I myself list an ad. :)

I think your life circumstances leave you in the clear to cancel if you need to, and I don't think you're being over-sensitive.  You were invited as an afterthought with no efforts to keep you within the group, so the whole situation is just not setting well overall.
No, you're not being sensitive. This invitation is bizarre. It boils down to being invited to sit in the same room as them, possibly near them, possibly not. Skip it and save your energy for everything else you have going on. Virtual hugs for those things.

Does Sally know you've got the ticket? If so tell her you can't make it. If she doesn't, honestly, I'd be tempted to let this relationship drop altogether and not contact her at all.
Yes, I will be out some money, but at this point I don't care. I am super stressed with work, and have a couple of crushed nerves in my back at the moment. Somehow the pain is making me ridiculously emotional so I'm guessing spending several hours with someone who I've never spoken to about how they really hurt my feelings is a super bad idea.
This "invitation" is weird, and rude.

I think it'd be perfectly fine to cancel.

Will you be out any money if you can cancel?
An old friend Sally messaged me out of the blue to ask if I wanted to go to a production with her and her friend Kate, with only a few days notice. Given the nature of the event, it has assigned seating. When I asked about this, Sally announced she and Kate already had their tickets, but maybe I would be lucky enough to book something near them. I actually did manage to get a seat next to them. 

I'm really have second thoughts about this whole thing though. Who invites someone to sit by themselves?

Sally and I have a bit of weird history. We used to be part of a trio at work with another girl Bianca. When Sally changed careers, she would always catch up with both of us. Unfortunately Bianca and I had a falling out. To cut a long story short, Bianca got herself in massive trouble at work, refused to pull her head in after a dozen warnings, and was demoted and moved departments. When it become obvious that I couldn't cover Bianca's back anymore, she dropped me like a hot potato. And since Sally had always treated us a package deal, she basically ghosted me out, and I'm assuming Bianca as well.

Sally has a fairly hectic social life, and always had a tendency to treat catching up with people as chores, especially if you are not in the "top tier" of friends. I'm not a huge fan of this. If you want to hang out with someone, hang out with them. If you don't, don't. I'd rather not be someone's friend then be relegated to "obligation".

I don't know why she suddenly contacted me (it's been 4+ years), but I'm now itching to get out of this. I have massive work deadline looming, and on top of that I'm not very well. But most importantly, I'm just feel that I'm too old for this rubbish.

Was this invitation weird, and is it OK to cancel?
Gardening / Re: Aquaculture info/suggestions?
« Last post by Mel the Redcap on Today at 01:31:58 AM »
It is!  ;D

The media in the bottom of the growbeds is red scoria:

and then there's expanded clay pellets in the top 8cm or so:

There's a lot of dust in the water from the scoria even after I washed it all, but by the time it's ready for fish to go in most of it should have settled out. I've planted one strawberry plant for me, jalapenos and capsicums (bell peppers) for the Good Ethnic Boy, and marigolds to annoy bad bugs.  >:D
All In A Day's Work / Re: resigning for my job
« Last post by LifeOnPluto on Today at 12:56:35 AM »
I agree with not mentioning anything about the other employees in your resignation notice.

However, if your (soon to be former) boss presses you for reasons as to WHY you're leaving, you could say something vague like "I don't feel like I'm a great fit for this company anymore." Or "I feel that New Company has better opportunities for me." Or "I've been working here for
  • years, and fancy a change."

Personally, I'd hang onto the items fora bit longer (maybe until the end of term), just to ensure that no one comes forward to reveal themselves as the giver.

If no one comes forward, I'd follow HR's recommendation and donate them to a charity (and get a receipt, as Lynn2000 suggests). 

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