News: IT'S THE 2ND ANNUAL GUATEMALA LIBRARY PROJECT BOOK DRIVE!    LOOKING FOR DONATIONS OF SCIENCE BOOKS THIS YEAR.    Check it out in the "Extending the Hand of Kindness" folder or here: http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=139832.msg3372084#msg3372084   

  • September 22, 2017, 06:54:50 AM

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11
Family and Children / Re: Baby shower rsvp conundrum
« Last post by Harriet on Yesterday at 08:35:50 PM »
Thanks, everyone, for your thoughtful replies. Well, as I was dithering, the stepmom texted me to get my rsvp. The reply-by date isn't for another two weeks so I thought I had a little time but apparently no. I guess that answers that question.
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Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: Going Braless!
« Last post by daen on Yesterday at 08:20:13 PM »
I prefer to wear a bra most of the time (34F/32G). The first time I tried on a bra that was my size, instead of the 36C that was supposed to fit, it made a world of difference. (I was lucky in that - I ordered a few bras online from a shop in the UK, and all of them were a proper fit; subsequent purchases have been rather hit or miss.)  I usually buy from the clearance section, so they end up being in  the $20-45 range (Canadian); I usually do my buying during their annual (?) Free Shipping Worldwide sale. Love that place; love my Curvy Kates.

I also have a sports bra for exercise, and for comfort at the end of the day, I have a pair of soft stretch bras (walmart, I think) that I wear one over the other, so that I have enough support. I can only stand to be braless for a short period of time, if only because I dislike the feel of skin resting on skin.
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My MIL and my mom, both sent kids who didn't live at home with some left overs, but out of 10 kids, we would have never asked, and were always very thankful for what we were sent home with.
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Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: Stupid Products - Who Buys These?
« Last post by wonderfullyanonymous on Yesterday at 06:43:17 PM »

A baby doll that comes with a bra so little girls can simulate br##st feeding.  :o



Because little girls haven't figured out how to breast feed their dolls for, probably thousands of years.
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This is a long story; people who like shorter posts might want to skip ahead.

Reading through some of the comments here made me suddenly think of something that happened to me when I was a senior in college, decades ago.

When I was applying to graduate school, I asked two professors in my major department how they would feel about writing grad school recommendations for me based upon my academic work.  I also asked the faculty advisor to a student charity project how he would feel about writing a recommendation for me based upon my volunteer experience. (The volunteer work was directly related to the type of graduate studies I wanted to pursue, and, indeed, the faculty advisor's PhD. was in that field.)  All three professors responded positively - and, indeed, I was accepted into graduate school.

About a year later, I learned that in my graduate school, at least, one's entire academic record, including letters of recommendation, was available for one's own viewing. I was curious, so I asked to see my record. The only surprise was in the letter from the volunteer program advisor at my undergraduate school. He acknowledged my volunteer work and said I had been a useful volunteer - then he went on to say that he only hoped that I would learn to be less manipulative as I matured.

Huh? This concerned me. I truly had no idea what he was referring to - but I wanted to know what I had done that had rubbed him the wrong way, so that I could learn to NOT do that to other people!

Well, the following autumn (about 1 years after I graduated) I was back visiting friends near my undergraduate school. I called ahead and scheduled a half hour appointment with the faculty advisor to that volunteer program.

We had a nice talk about graduate school and I asked him about his letter of recommendation.

I asked very very politely. I phrased it as I was wanting to learn what I had done that was "manipulative" so that I could learn to change my behavior.

Well, the professor told me that what I had done that was so manipulative was that I had come to his office and had asked him how he would feel about writing a recommendation for me.

[What??? I didn't understand! How was asking that manipulative?]

I remained very very polite. I asked him to help me understand; how was my original conversation with him different from his conversations with other students who wanted recommendations from him?

The professor explained to me that usually students would come to his office and chat with him for a while, and only then, as they were ending their conversations, would other students "happen to mention" that they needed letters of recommendation. The professor felt that by stating the purpose of my visit up front, I had been manipulating him.

I think I had used direct communication with a professor who was expecting indirect communication.
Clearly there was a miscommunication, but "manipulative" would not be the word I would apply to someone using direct communication. (Abrupt or cold, possibly, depending on context.) I'm glad this prof didn't keep you out of the graduate school program.

The whole business of getting right to the point vs. chatting first put me in mind of a scene in Revolutionary Road (the book by Richard Yates, not the movie). Mrs. Givings, the real estate agent, has dropped by the Wheelers' house, bearing a box of plant bulbs (which the Wheelers didn't ask for and didn't want). She chats about how to care for the plants and about the community players' recent performance (which was a flop). Then she starts walking toward her car, and
Quote
This was the moment for her saying, "Oh, one other thing, while I think of it." She nearly always did that, and the other thing would turn out to be the thing she had really come for in the first place.
But in this case she changes her mind, and we don't find out until later what she wanted: to bring her mentally ill son to visit the Wheelers and hopefully give him some friends his own age. It does appear as if the reader is meant to find Mrs. Givings horribly annoying. I wonder if other cultures would see her behavior differently.

And it doesn't help that some people are just really bad at it. One funny example that comes to mind was, I was working a customer service job some years ago, and a woman came in to try to sell me MLM. Yes, in the store where I was working at the time.  ::) ;D But that's not how she started. She asked me some stuff about work, she guuuusssssshhhhed about the color of my eyes, and then started to leave--and then did this HUGE theatrical finger-snap-and-turn-and-oh-I-almost-forgot! and launched into her pitch. I wondered how often she'd practiced it.  ;D ;D ;D
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Complete Silence / Re: You're going to get fat if you eat that!
« Last post by Yvaine on Yesterday at 06:16:30 PM »

I'm guessing you can't relay to your superiors that some customers so have an issue with it? I mean, I'm less introverted than I used to be, but even then I'm really only conversing because it's rude not to. In all honesty, I'd rather put the stuff on the belt, pay, and get going. We *do* recognize that it's not your (general you) idea, though. :)


We can talk to the supervisors all we want about this, but they don't listen. If customers want changes, they need to do the surveys.

And now we reach the customer catch-22. We're all familiar with the concept that if there's anything less than a stellar, glowing review, then management comes down on the worker like a ton of bricks. So, if we complain about something that's not the worker's fault on a survey, they get in trouble. If we don't complain, nothing gets fixed.

Long story short, businesses need to stop looking at a 9.999999999999 out of 10 as a failure.

Yep. And they need to realize that sometimes the gripe is actually with corporate and not with the individual worker.
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Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: Grammar and spellling that make you twitch
« Last post by Nuku on Yesterday at 06:09:23 PM »
I just saw a sign near the outdoor seating of a local restaurant: "Please see host stand inside to be seated." See host stand inside what? It's not completely gibberish, but it can be read more than one way and should have been rephrased. (This is one of the nicer local restaurants - they could afford somebody to proofread their menus and signage.)
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Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: Silly things that have made you happy recently
« Last post by Dazi on Yesterday at 05:50:49 PM »
This isn't silly at all, but boy, did it make me happy!

 ;D ;D ;D I applied for graduation!!!  ;D ;D ;D
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That sounds reasonable to me.  But do be prepared for her not to take the money.

You should also leave either a stash of cash or a credit card number with your vet, in case of emergency.  Unlikely it will need to be used but best to be prepared, as your friend may not be able to front the money for you.
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Humor Me! / Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Last post by Outdoor Girl on Yesterday at 05:12:18 PM »
Maybe it's just me but when I see Theresa May (new acting PM in the UK) on the news, I can't help but think of the character on Dr. Who, whose name I cannot remember, who was a low level staffer who got elevated to PM because she was the only one left.  Cracks me up every time I see Ms. May on the news.

Same here, they sound the same as well.

Harriet Jones ;)

LOL.  Thanks!

And I still think of you whenever I see PM May on television.
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