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Family and Children / Re: Unacknowledged Birthday Gifts
« Last post by Outdoor Girl on Today at 01:47:22 PM »
^ I thought of that but by putting $1 on it, they can't make the assumption that you just forgot to activate it in case they ever pull their heads out of their *ahem* and try to actually use it.
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Life...in general / Re: No one wants pencils (Update of Zucchini Bread)
« Last post by NFPwife on Today at 01:45:18 PM »
I'm not sure what you're expecting from these people. Are you trying to force a friendlier relationship? If so, stop.  Be casually friendly if you want, but it sounds like they don't really want more.

No, and I've said this numerous times, I do not desire a friendlier relationship with this family. They were receiving "grander" treat bags because other kids were and I didn't want to exclude them or make theirs "less than." Now that there are no kids who live close to them getting  bags, I was going to completely stop any treats to them because, on a whole, they haven't presented as particularly gracious. DH didn't want to completely stop, so I scaled waaaaay back.

I also don't plan on making them Christmas baked goods, but other neighbors will get them and I'm not going to concern myself with fairness. At all. The neighbor on our right just, teasingly, put in is "order" for some baked goods. He's running a half-marathon in November and wants a certain cake I make for after his marathon.
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Family and Children / Re: Unacknowledged Birthday Gifts
« Last post by Jelly Bean on Today at 01:44:38 PM »
For a short time, I tried giving gift cards that I knew they could use.  The recipient always managed to "lose" the card.  Once I saw my mother unwrap a gift card and shove it down the inside of a chair (she's toxic and crazy).  My brother simply leaves the gift card in the wrapping paper so it will be tossed away.  Apparently it's worth a lot of money to them to spit in my face. 

 :o :o :o

If I had to continue to interact with people like that, I'd be tempted to buy a gift card and only put $1 on it and continue to give them the gift cards.  Or give them one I'd used already that only had a few cents left on it.  And smile to myself when they threw it out, thinking they were costing me a lot of money.   >:D

You could accidentally forget to pay for / activate it all together!  Then, it costs you nothing!
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Life...in general / Re: No one wants pencils (Update of Zucchini Bread)
« Last post by Deetee on Today at 01:40:27 PM »
That's a good update. You are happier and she sounds happier as well.

I may have posted this on the original thread, but unequal gift giving is not always nice for the recipient. I have two neighbours who give special trick or treat bags for my kids It's quite sweet and I appreciate it (as do the kids). But if I had an inkling that they resented it, I would want them to stop right away.

I wonder if her enthusiastic thank-you was partly relief that the gifting was token this year and not something that had more time and effort and required reciprocation.
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You really need to leave Michelle and her family alone. I'm reminded of very bad breakups where one person goes out of their way for the ex's attention, when it's clear the ex wants to move on  :-X
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Humor Me! / Re: ... Said no one, ever
« Last post by Julia Mercer on Today at 01:38:18 PM »
I just love getting collection calls at 7 in the morning.......said no one ever!
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Life...in general / Re: No one wants pencils (Update of Zucchini Bread)
« Last post by perpetua on Today at 01:37:17 PM »
I'm not sure what you're expecting from these people. Are you trying to force a friendlier relationship? If so, stop.  Be casually friendly if you want, but it sounds like they don't really want more.

Agree. OP, you gave a gift and you were enthusiastically thanked. The interaction happened correctly, and as such I don't quite know what else you expect from them. Do you want continued thanks every time you see them? Because that's how your posts come across. I think your expectations are unrealistic. This is giving sweets, not some huge act of benevolence that deserves gushing thanks at every opportunity.

You've already ascertained on your other thread that these people don't wish to be friends with you. Stop expecting anything else from them; they're making their feelings quite clear - they're being polite and nothing more. I think you're on the right track with the friendly waving and not much more approach.
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Life...in general / Re: No one wants pencils (Update of Zucchini Bread)
« Last post by Goosey on Today at 01:36:44 PM »
I'm not sure what you're expecting from these people. Are you trying to force a friendlier relationship? If so, stop.  Be casually friendly if you want, but it sounds like they don't really want more.

This.

Why are you getting annoyed that they're acting exactly how you would predicted they would? You're the one repeatedly initiating contact resulting in nuetral if not disappointing returns from what you are wanting from them.

I would just let it go. Looks like these people don't want to a gift exchanging/howdy neighbor type relationship. They're not up to your standards for the thank yous.

Why haven't you just stopped instead of making bets with your husband about how rude you anticpate them being?
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Family and Children / Re: Uncomfortable bridal shower
« Last post by lakey on Today at 01:36:24 PM »
Quote
there was no way my mom, sis and I were going to fit in.  Just too way different backgrounds/expectations. If I had known, I would not have gone.

I don't agree with that. I live in an area where  a large part of the population is fundamentalist protestant and socially conservative. I was a Catholic around people who believed all drinking of alcohol was bad, would not play cards, wouldn't go to movies, and didn't let their kids go to dances. Many of the people I hung around with were like this. They've loosened up a bit in recent years, but even years ago, there was no reason that someone who wasn't that conservative couldn't attend a party and enjoy themselves. They have their beliefs and you have yours. If anyone gets pushy on the subject of religion, where you know neither side will change, you don't allow yourself to be dragged into an argument. If the Bible comes out, and you don't share the beliefs, you sit quietly and respectfully, just as you would at a wedding or funeral in a church that is different from your own.

As far as this specific shower goes, yeah, the Bible reading is strange. As far as the rest of it, the too casual dress and nightgown gift, these missteps happen in everyone's life. There are regional differences in these kinds of events. In my area people wouldn't wear shorts, but I'll bet there are places in Florida or southern California where it is done. In my area lingerie isn't give at bridal showers that are for relatives. Usually lingerie is given at showers that are limited to the bride's close friends. You found out that they do things differently than you were used to, so in the future if there are events, you'll have a better idea what to do, and you'll feel more comfortable. There's no reason to avoid people because of something like this. By the way, the lingerie you gave can be pretty pricey, you were very generous. I'll bet the bride ended up using it.
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I play a lot of weddings in the deep south. As in 2-3 a month for the past 20 years. I've only ever been to two weddings that devolved into a sermon by the preacher on odd topics. One was about scrabble before marriage and the other was about the wife being submissive. Talk about awkward. The weird things was that the bride in the submissive marriage ceremony was a complete jerk during the reception. She had nodded along during the ceremony and then spent the entire reception yelling at the groom, her parents, the caterers and the musicians. Very odd yet memorable.
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