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  • April 23, 2017, 07:41:42 AM

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Gardening / Re: Mel Has Fun With Aquaponics
« Last post by Mel the Redcap on Yesterday at 08:03:44 PM »
Y'know, I kinda thought fishy videos would get a bit more of a response, given how many people requested them. :-\ Did everyone go on holiday for Easter? :P

Anyway, it's a good thing I got that camera when I did, because two of the big goldfish died on Thursday, the one with the red freckles on silver/white (and the big foofy tail) and the one with multicoloured freckles on silver/white. Nothing visibly wrong with them, nothing wrong with the water parameters, all the other fish looking fine, just bam! two dead goldfish when I went out to feed them that morning. :'( No idea what happened there.
Entertaining and Hospitality / Re: Etiquette-wise, is this a good plan?
« Last post by sammycat on Yesterday at 07:59:42 PM »
telling people to feel free to order other things will sound like they are apologizing and acknowledging that what they are providing isn't adequate, but they are not hospitable enough to bring it up to acceptable standards, so they're giving their guests a pass to supplement (which otherwise would be extremely rude).

This is a huge stretch.  If I got an invitation stating that there would be other things available for purchase I would not think any of these things about the hosts.  At all. 

I would think they were simply trying to make sure everyone is happy and fed.

I agree with the bolded.

I've received a few invitations over the years that have said that A,B,C will be provided, but X is also available for purchase. I've never given it a moment's thought beyond filing that information away should the need arise. I certainly didn't think anything negative about the hosts'.
I'm with you,
It surprises me that someone would think a woman is safe because she's in a locked car. Creepy men and criminals are more likely to approach a woman when she's alone. Years ago, before I had a cell phone, I was driving at night and a man pulled up next to me and looked over at me. He followed me. Every time I turned onto a street, he turned also. I drove to a police station to get rid of him. As far as, "you could just drive away", you wouldn't necessarily see the person approach. You don't have 360 degree peripheral vision. It would be very easy for someone to walk up from behind your car, and you wouldn't notice. Criminals look for people who are alone and they use the element of surprise.

Oh, just reminded me of something that happened when I was 21. DH (back then still Dear Boyfriend) and drove several states away to go to a concert. We took my car and took turns driving. DH decided to nap while I was driving so he reclined his seat all the way back so he was lying down. Apparently it looked like I was a 21 year old female driving alone on the interstate. Note this was on a sunny and clear day.

Some guy in a pickup truck started following me. If I sped up, he sped up. He would pass me and then slow way down. He would change lanes to block me from passing him. He was dangerous and was really starting to frighten me. Finally I was able to take an exit in an attempt to get away from him. He followed me off the exit. I pulled into a busy store parking lot. He pulled in there as well. He got out of his truck and started walking toward my car. DH woke up, sat up and asked why we stopped.

The guy saw that I was not alone and ran back to his truck and took off like a bat out of hell.

I don't know what he thought he was going to do, and I don't want to know. This was in broad daylight with other people around. I said in my previous post--there is safety in numbers.
Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: Googling vs. posting questions here
« Last post by cicero on Yesterday at 07:38:50 PM »
I tend to Google first, by really, what is googling -for the most part it's others strangers on other boards with their personal opinion. Even though I don't *know* the ehellions in real life, I feel like I do and I can trust your opinions.

I agree with onyx that some questions are irrelevant to this board but others are very relevant and helpful. Sure I can Google "what does 'formal attire requested' * really* mean for an afternoon wedding in the Hudson valley", but it's more helpful to post here , aka, "help me shop". Or "how to respond to a job application" , I've gotten some great advice from posters here. Sure there's advice *out there* but it's confusing and sometimes contradictory.

Family and Children / Re: "No Flowers" after a death in the extended family.
« Last post by SamiHami on Yesterday at 07:27:18 PM »
Please don't send a text. That just feels tacky to me. A simple handwritten letter of sympathy mailed to her home is the way to go. And definitely do not send a plant later. They've made it clear that would be unwelcome. Use the money you would have spent on the plant for a donation to their charity of choice. Even if it doesn't feel quite right to you, you must remember that their feelings have to take priority. You want to offer them sympathy and comfort, not annoyance.

Another thought--if you want to do something that feels more personal, perhaps you could send them a gift card to a restaurant enclosed with your sympathy letter. They may not feel much like cooking while they are grieving. Just a thought.
Entertaining and Hospitality / Re: Etiquette-wise, is this a good plan?
« Last post by camlan on Yesterday at 06:46:40 PM »
This group of people are friends. There's a very good chance the OP already knows about any food issues in the group. If she wants to make double-sure, she can ask--that's something a host should do anyway--ask if there are any food allergies or intolerances that need to be considered.

But with a group of friends that have been together for years, most people know if someone needs to eat gluten-free, or is a vegetarian, etc. There are gluten-free pizzas and veggie pizzas. And if the OP adds a salad and makes sure the dressing is on the side, there should be something that everyone can eat, unless someone is on a really restrictive diet.

This works both ways. Yes, a host should do their best to make sure that every guest has something to eat. Maybe not every dish, but something. But guests also have a duty as guests not to make their host feel bad, and to eat, or not eat, what is offered, without complaint. And ordering something the host isn't providing--is a negative comment on the hosting. And yes, sometimes a good guest goes hungrier than they would like,  and stops at the nearest fast food place on their way home.
Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: Googling vs. posting questions here
« Last post by BigBadBetty on Yesterday at 06:39:04 PM »
I always google the question before I ask here. For things like recipes, I can google a recipe, but who knows if it is any good. I had made a few different version of pao de queijo. They were mediocre to terrible. I asked here if anyone had a good recipe. The person (CakeBeret) gave me exactly what I was looking for ( - this is now a staple). I have also posted in the "stupid questions" thread, when I wanted clarification on what google was telling me.
18 general / Re: Party neighbors -- What's reasonable?
« Last post by Reika on Yesterday at 05:41:04 PM »
I wonder if there are rules about sound equipment in a residential neighborhood...

I was also wondering about the length of these parties. A lot of areas I've lived in (including my current one) there were ordinances about how long a loud event could be in a residential area.
Family and Children / Re: "No Flowers" after a death in the extended family.
« Last post by cicero on Yesterday at 05:38:58 PM »

I can't speak for my wife, but I'm feeling a little odd right now. I'd really like Anne to know we're thinking of her and her brothers, but I do not want to call or text Anne herself so soon.

Would just a sympathy card (which won't arrive in Anne's hometown for maybe four or five days) be OK?

Has this happened to anyone else here?
I personally think it's fine to text or email Anne now. If you feel uncomfortable, then you can certainly text James with a short version of a condolence note, followed by a letter or card to their home.

You can also look online, some funeral homes publish online condolence books.

And finally, if you are so inclined, you can donate to their charity of choice and let them know that you have done so.
20 general / Re: 'Entrance fee' to attend a friend's party?
« Last post by Erich L-ster on Yesterday at 05:34:05 PM »
The only pay party I can think of that's not tacky is a group of friends all chipping in for food and drinks. It wouldn't be "I'm throwing a party give me money" it would be "Want to have a party? Can you bring X and I'll bring Y or we can chip in and buy XY." It would be a very informal situation.
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