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  • May 27, 2015, 12:26:45 AM

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21
Guests / Re: In a wedding pickle....
« Last post by gramma dishes on Yesterday at 10:53:08 PM »
It almost seems to me that your presence at the wedding is more important to the bride's mother than it is to the bride.  It's easy to understand why you have such mixed feelings about this event.

Are you really close friends currently with the bride and groom?  Or is this a friendship that is held over from high school or some other previous time in your life?

Yes, the scratched out names thing is tacky as all get out, but we can be magnanimous here and go the opposite direction in our thinking if we want to.  It could be that they accidentally filled out the same name on two different envelopes and figured since you were such super close friends, you would understand and wouldn't object so much to getting the messy envelope. 

None of us can answer whether or not you should go to this wedding.  But maybe it would be a good idea to do a little soul searching and figure out how badly the two of you really want to attend.  You'd be giving up a lot either way -- whether you accepted the ride with the bride's mother and had to stay from the first minute to the last, or whether you spend a lot of money on cab fare to get there.

If it's really important to you that you be there, you'll figure out the best solution.  If you decide maybe it's really not that important after all, you'll be that many $$$ closer to your very own car.
22
Guests / Re: In a wedding pickle....
« Last post by Benni on Yesterday at 10:49:15 PM »
I would not attend a wedding where I received an invitation that had another name crossed out and my name written in.  Just no.
23
Entertaining and Hospitality / Re: Baking for someone with nut allergies
« Last post by magician5 on Yesterday at 10:36:16 PM »
Make something from a mix, and take along the ingredient panel including any "contains" warnings - then she can decide if that's good enough warning for her.
24
Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: Thrift Score!
« Last post by gmatoy on Yesterday at 10:27:24 PM »
About $200 worth of maternity clothes for $12 (not for me!). 
The $ went to a good cause, and even with the cost of shipping them cross-country, this will make my sister's day a little better, since she's in maternity-or-fat-clothes limbo hell right now :)

It has been decades for me, but I still remember the day I got up and nothing fit...nothing! I cried and DH told me that we would go shopping that day. I said, "And what am I going to wear that I can go out in public without hurting the baby (from being too tight)?!" He told me that he could loan me some clothes. He is a foot taller that me! I finally used pins to hold up the unzipped pants and a tunic top to cover it. You are a lifesaver for your sister!
25
Guests / In a wedding pickle....
« Last post by Bottlecaps on Yesterday at 10:26:19 PM »
A friend of ours is getting married this summer. Every time I've seen her Mom, she's mentioned it and even way before we received an invitation, she said, "Don't make any plans for that day! You all can ride with me, we really want you to be there!" Really sweet and all, but I'm in such a pickle over it now because of multiple things.

1) Mr. Bottlecaps and I don't have a car (hence the MOB saying we could ride with her), but here's the thing - she'll want to get there early I'm sure, and probably want to stay for the whole thing. Of course Mr. Bottlecaps and I would be there for the ceremony and most of the reception, but we both tire easily in situations where we're surrounded by people we don't know. The fact is, the bride, groom, and the bride's family will probably be the only people at the wedding that we'll know aside from each other. I also hate depending on other people for rides for this reason - you're stuck to their schedule for that day, so even if you're ready to leave, they might not be (and it would be incredibly rude to expect someone to drop what they're doing and take you home). I thought that maybe, to circumvent this conundrum, we could make a weekend out of it and get a hotel or motel room in the town where they're getting married, getting a taxi to and from that town and to and from the wedding and reception. That would wreak havoc on our budget though, as we're trying to save for a car.

2) We finally got our invitation this past week. There's no RSVP date on it, so I have no idea when I need to let them know whether we'll be there or not. I also don't know what to tell her if we just decide that the logistics of getting there and the financial constraints are too much and we just can't make it. The bride not so much, but her mother will definitely want an explanation as to why we can't make it, even with a ride provided.

3) Here's the biggie that really rubbed me the wrong way. When we received our invitation (it was hand-delivered to Mr. Bottlecaps), it had another couple's names on it, scribbled out, with our names written below it!  :-\ This actually really upset me. It made me feel like we were second-class to others, and afterthought even perhaps. Maybe they didn't realize just how hurtful, and dare I say, tacky, this would come across, but it definitely put a damper on what desire I did have to jump through hoops to go to this wedding. Maybe I'm making a mountain out of a molehill with the invitation thing, but I would never have dreamed of giving someone an invitation that had someone else's name on it, marked out. And it's a shame, because we really would like to go, but having to stick to someone else's time schedule (and that someone being someone who will most likely want to be there from the very beginning to the very end of the day, but understandably so!), along with the whole invitation thing, just has me really leaning toward not wanting to go.

What should I do? And what are your guys' thoughts on the names-marked-out thing? Am I overreacting? Should I just suck it up and take the ride and possibly end up miserable and socially overdosed by the end of the day? Blow a hole in our budget so we can leave when we want (or as the case may be, need) to? I'm working on my spine, but it's not quite there yet, so I need some advice! :)
26
Life...in general / Re: Shutting down rude comments at a wedding
« Last post by Possum on Yesterday at 10:20:53 PM »
I honestly don't know the answer to this--what's the etiquette of switching seats with another (willing) person at the wedding?
I firmly love the Southern American way of dealing with this.

Blink...Blink...Blink (while not looking away from him)

Well bless your heart, what an unkind thing to say.
This is wonderful, and if you're going to verbally respond, I think this is great.
27
All In A Day's Work / Re: Dealing with a recruiter - advice needed!
« Last post by jedikaiti on Yesterday at 10:17:04 PM »
I finally gave up and sent him a very polite email stating that, as I cannot guarantee availability, I should probably remove myself from consideration, thanked him for his time & effort, and wished him well. I just couldn't take another contact from him. I do, however, know the company, so I'll be perusing their website for that and other applicable job postings.
28
During the day: silver earrings with vitrail crystal balls, a tricolor infinity knot ring, my wedding band, an owl pendant on a long chain, and my skull and crown charm bracelet.

Dinner: my chain earrings with pearls and crystals, my cushion cut garnet ring, a trio of grey bracelets.
29
Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: S/O PD Student Darwinism
« Last post by dawnfire on Yesterday at 10:07:38 PM »
Was reminded of this recently - a high school student left his essay in the printer at my library.  Not darwinism, but I suspect he got a low grade.

His essay was on how Martin Luther fought for women's rights during the Civil War.

Based on what other students' papers were on, I suspect his topic was Martin Luther King in the civil rights era.

well at least he didn't mix up Martin Luther with Martin Luther King   :P
30
Life...in general / Re: Unequal gifts
« Last post by EllenS on Yesterday at 10:07:20 PM »
If we're going to get all technical on etiquette points, it is impolite for you to know how much the gift cost at all, because gifts technically do not have monetary value. They have relational value.

You were forced to have that information because of the exchange, but the polite thing to do is forget it ASAP. Like when you run into your FIL coming out of the bathroom.  You don't picture what he was doing in there, you just don't think about it.

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