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  • October 09, 2015, 07:31:00 PM

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I'm really glad to hear you did that.  It seems this company put profits ahead of their customer's experience.  They should have closed registration at the point where the number of people registered equaled the number of people that could be seated comfortably at the venue they booked.  Instead they decided to cram more and more people into the venue to the point where you were uncomfortable and missed half the presentation.  Frankly, I'd go even farther than you did and ask for a refund.  You didn't get what you paid for in large part because of decisions they made, and that's unacceptable. 

As for the fidgety lady, I like what the others have said.  Pick a specific action; "excuse me, you're hitting me in the face with your hair", etc and let her come to her own conclusion that she needs to stop the behavior.

Also, the whole food thing seems strange.  I can't help but wonder if she thought she was being polite by keeping the food out of others' sight and eating "discretely", not realizing that she was actually drawing more attention to herself and causing more discomfort to the people around her by doing what she was doing.

Family and Children / Re: Is This Something New For Kid Birthday Parties?
« Last post by mmswm on Today at 04:17:33 PM »
I've never heard of the raffle aspect, but the idea of a huge party for a child's birthday isn't unheard of for me.  The dominant culture where I grew up tends to throw huge parties for just about any event.  Honestly, outside of a handful of special occasions, the "event" is just an excuse to throw a party, and is secondary to the socialization aspect.  The parents invite family, friends, coworkers and anybody else they can think of,


Yes, I can see inviting these people, but I think it's odd to invite someone who have only a passing knowledge of the parent(s) and never even met or heard of the child. Yes, invite them to general party first and get to know them (like a BBQ or Open House), but not one specifically for an unknown child's birthday which is also a gift giving occasion.

It's my understanding that the gift for the birthday child should be in line with the guests' relationship to the child. So if you're just a random neighbor or a friend of a friend, you'd bring something like a coloring book or other small gift for the child in place of a hostess gift if it was just an occasion-less party or gathering. It all seems within the accepted cultural norms for that group, so I just accepted it.

And if he isn't bad enough, I have a guy fast asleep in the back of the library, snoring his lungs out, and he's apparently got his hand in a place you don't put it when in polite society.  Is our security guard  here?  Nope.  Is my boss here?  Nope.  Am I allowed to yell at or touch this guy?  Nope.  Are other special snowflake patrons complaining?  OH yes!
I suppose you're not allowed to pull the fire alarm? The firemen will wake him up.

Surely you're not suggesting criminal activity in response to a sleeping patron?  I don't know that it's legal anywhere to pull a fire alarm when there's no actual emergency...
I thought I'd put an emoticon on end there. It was supposed to be ' The firemen will wake him up.'  ::)
And no, it was not a serious suggestion. But I find imaginary scenes to be a great way to deal with stressful situations, and once in my dorm, someone slept through the fire alarm whooping away, and was rousted out by the firemen. I could actually see this patron snoring away, being shaken awake by firemen and escorted out of the library...
Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Last post by Jocelyn on Today at 04:12:50 PM »
A friend and I took our kids to an indoor play place yesterday, as the weather was rotten.  I'm not a big fan of those places ( my second visit ever!) but nice for a change.

They had a large area with dozens of ride-on toys and cars (flintstone's-style power!  ;D ) which is where my 2.5year old son spent most of his time trying out different cars.  There were dozens of ride-ons/cars and hardly any kids in the area.   Despite, this a slightly younger boy, I would guess around 18-24 months old, seemed to fixate on the car DS was happily driving around.  He was getting in DS's face and trying to pull at the car he was in and basically get it for himself.  DS used his words nicely to ask the boy to "please stop that", but I could see from his face that he was upset so I walked over to intervene.  But before I got there, the younger kid reached over and slapped my son hard across the face - I guess he was angry that DS hadn't given up the car for him.   The boy's mother arrived the same time as I did.  She said absolutely nothing to her son just gave him another toy to play with.  I moved DS further away and quickly comforted him.  My friend and I  expressed surprise to each other that the mother hadn't encouraged her son to apologize - aggressive behaviour on occasion is normal at that age, but it needs to be used as a learning opportunity. We've all been there - nobody has perfect kids but we have to parent them!   It seemed bizarre that she hadn't addressed it.

But then a few minutes later, my son stepped out of his car to pick up something on the ground.   The other child immediately jumped in (I have no issue with this actually - DS had vacated it!), DS said "hey!" and opened the door of the car as if he was going to try to get back in too. 

Before I could say or do anything, the other kid's mother *grabbed* my DS and pulled him out of the play area.   I ran over, took him and comforted him (he was visibly upset and crying at being grabbed by a stranger - he's a good kid but responds better to *words* rather than physical force!), and also explained to him that it was the other boy's turn now and he had to play with something else and not to try to take the car back.  I didn't exchange any words with the other mother, who immediately returned to her phone. 

So let's get this straight - her son is physically violent after harassing my son for awhile, and she doesn't even tell him off, but she will escalate to physically restraining my non-violent son promptly the second he goes near her precious child.   ::)   

I'm sorry, but that mother would have heard some angry words from me. I would have been yelling across the room, "what the hades do you think you are doing?!  You ever touch my child or anyone else's child again and I am calling the police and going to the manager of this mall".   What she did was assault your child.  And I'm also sorry, but I would never have told my son it was the other boy's turn and to play with something else.  This comes across to me as if your son is to blame for what happened, and he most certainly was not.
Her son vacated the car, another child who'd been wanting to use it grabbed it. Are you suggesting that she should have made the other child give it back because her son hadn't meant to vacate it permanently? It seems to me that she handled it correctly: after a certain period of time, when her son vacated a toy another child wanted, she had him let the other child have some time playing with it. When there's a limited resource, taking turns instead of 'first come, first served' is a reasonable, polite tactic.
25 general / Re: Guest Gets Bill After Not Showing Up To Wedding
« Last post by Lynn2000 on Today at 04:09:49 PM »
Yeah, I would never judge a couple for deciding to keep the peace despite the costs (financial or emotional). But I do judge families who disown or otherwise punish couples for not going into debt for their wedding etc.

Yes. When my cousin eloped, her SIL cut her and her husband dead for nearly a year. She claimed it was because she was too upset - she'd always wanted to be a bridesmaid for her brother, who she loved so much.

If you love him so much, why are you holding his choices against him?

Oh I can totally see someone I know in real life doing that (cutting someone who dared to get married away from her). Actually, she probably wouldn't cut the person; she'd just talk about how she was so angry she wanted to, and any reasonable person would, but she was going to be the bigger person and let it go. ::) Except not really because she would let it affect the rest of their relationship.

She told me once how two of her friends were going off to Italy to get married, just the two of them, and how she told them that was okay, as long as when they came back, they had a larger reception that she could attend. Wow, thanks for letting me know my wedding plans are "okay" with you... This is the same person who felt that people's friends and family have a right to celebrate their milestones, so if a couple had, say, a courthouse wedding with no guests and no larger celebration ever, they were actually being rude, denying friends and family the opportunity to celebrate them.
[quote author=goldilocks link=topic=128703.msg3358961#msg3358961 date=1444151921

I enjoy quilting, but I can't really imagine doing it all day for several hours.   Also, because all of my quilts are for me or for gifts, if I make minor mistakes it doesn't bother me.   I feel that if I was being paid it'd be a whole lot more work to make sure all seams lined up correctly, etc.

Aw, yes, you totally understand why I refuse to make things to sell. When given as a gift, everyone loves my sewing. When it is for sale, they pick it up, and complain about everything. I know that they are trying to get you to lower your price, but, just no! Not ever doing that again!

(And I have made things for friends to give to their relatives and they are so grateful that they give me gift cards to buy way more supplies. Guess who I will do more things for?)
I just got back from a conference, and I'm a chronic fidgeter.  That's why I sit in the back.  In squashed circumstances  like you described, I would have stood in the back, until someone offered me a chair to sit in the back. 

Lately, I've been thinking that there are people who are capable of evaluating the circumstances around them, and some who are not.  At least, that's what I tell myself. 
28 general / Re: Guest Gets Bill After Not Showing Up To Wedding
« Last post by Twik on Today at 03:55:05 PM »
Yeah, I would never judge a couple for deciding to keep the peace despite the costs (financial or emotional). But I do judge families who disown or otherwise punish couples for not going into debt for their wedding etc.

Yes. When my cousin eloped, her SIL cut her and her husband dead for nearly a year. She claimed it was because she was too upset - she'd always wanted to be a bridesmaid for her brother, who she loved so much.

If you love him so much, why are you holding his choices against him?
My sister and BIL live in England. I live in N.America.  I wanted to buy them some tea cups for their wedding anniversary.  Cheapest place to buy them was a place in northern England.  Even though I'm buying them as a gift, the store won't let me buy them without paying the VAT (taxes).  I can buy them without the tax, they will mail the extremely breakable china to me, and then I can mail it back to my sister... 
30 general / Re: Guest Gets Bill After Not Showing Up To Wedding
« Last post by m2kbug on Today at 03:50:19 PM »
I'm really curious about what people are reading, as the only thing I have seen and read is the babysitter canceled out.  The babysitter was grandma, and was already babysitting a grandchild and that grandchild got sick, so she had to cancel babysitting on the other grandchild.  I'm assuming grandma was going to watch all the children together on this night, as you'd think the parents of this other child would have been home at some point, in order for grandma to get to the other household to babysit.  I have not read any news stories regarding emergency rooms or anything else beyond GrandchildA is sick, can't babysit GrandchildB, sorry.  I have also not seen anything about the couple personally contacting the media over this; just venting on FB that steamrolled. Would someone share links? 

Kids not included in weddings is pretty normal, in my experience.  You can always RSVP no if this is a problem for you.  (general you)
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