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My kids have an uncle who is totally devoted to them, he has no kids or spouse or other nieces or nephews and no job, nothing to conflict with dedicating his time to their pursuits. He still only attends about 1 game per season each of their kiddie sports. And they have absolutely no doubt that he adores and cherishes them. I can't imagine him attending every single game, that would be a lot to fit into even his almost empty schedule!

I don't think attending kid games can really spoil them, though. Attending a game isn't like giving them ice cream or every toy they dream of or failing to discipline them, it is just lending visible support to their interests. I don't think supporting a kid's efforts and hobbies can really be overdone except by embarrassing them.
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Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: Who's on Your Celebrity "Cheat" List
« Last post by Peppergirl on Yesterday at 08:25:18 PM »
I'll go with the Avengers, and add in the singer from Godsmack.

Ohh, Sully!  Yes!  Have you ever seen them live?  *fans self*
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Family and Children / Re: Sorry, this is another thread about hugs
« Last post by AnnaJ on Yesterday at 08:24:15 PM »
For reasonable people that is true. MIL has already shown herself not to be reasonable. I do remember a story (can't remember if it was on this site or another) of a MIL who saved a letter like that for 25 years only to throw it in her DIL's face later as proof that she never liked her or had it in for her or something like that. You just never know what someone who is trying to show that she is alpha dog will do, and giving her something tangible to work with isn't a good idea.

And if you do it politely in front of other people then she has a harder time convincing others how rude you are because well the say it first hand. on the other hand not many people are going to ask to see the letter you send so see that it is actually a reasonable request.

I don't see anything in the OP's post that supports the bolded.  The OP has not told future MIL that she doesn't like to be hugged, and the example OP gives - sitting on the floor rather than sit between two people on the couch - is not a clear indicator to me, I would probably assume she liked to sit on the floor, I used to prefer it also.  As for urging future FIL to hug, she has known him for far longer than the OP, so presumably knows whether or not her husband likes to hug or is perhaps uncomfortable hugging another female.

OP, I would sort of combine some of the ideas here, choose a time when it's just you and future MIL and use some of the lines people have come up with here to explain how you feel.  I wouldn't e-mail here because that seems too formal to me, but that might be me.

Then if she continues to try to hug I will absolutely agree that she is not reasonable.   :)

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My aunt was a good one for giving directions by landmarks. That made this a bit more funny.


So they were visiting San Angelo, and I was giving them directions to Dad's office and drawing a map.




Me "You are going to turn right on minor road. It is right before Major road"


Aunt "Why are you telling us that"


Me - because if you get to Major Road you have gone to far, and the big green sign that says "Major Road Next Intersections" blocks the little green sign that says minor road.


My Uncle and Dad both gave her a bit of a hard time about that one.


The last 2 turns to our farm and are a no name dirt road and a dirt track across neighbors land (legal in Texas they have to give us access, besides it is in the paper work from the land we sold him that he has to grant right of way) .  We used to have to tell people drive turn on FM ### drive exactly 1.8 miles  look for the mail boxes and turn on the dirt road. Now we can tell them to look for the huge house with the red tile roof.
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Life...in general / Re: Article - Things You Should Not Explain
« Last post by Tea Drinker on Yesterday at 08:12:01 PM »
There's a difference between what's acceptable to discuss or explain, and what a person can reasonably be expected to explain.

There's nothing in that article that says you can't discuss politics; only that you aren't obliged to agree with whoever states their opinions first. There's room for either "I disagree with you, because..." or "look, you're a Purple and I'm an Orange, and we're not going to change each other's minds, so let's talk about something else."

Similarly, I'm allowed to talk about medical stuff, or why I've chosen to move across the country; it's more that if I answer medical questions with "just a checkup" or "can't complain" and relocation-based ones with "it seemed like a good idea at the time. How about you?" people shouldn't insist on knowing why I thought it seemed like a good idea.
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Humor Me! / Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Last post by Reika on Yesterday at 08:11:24 PM »
A friend of mine was telling me about how his job had a potluck this past Friday (Aug 15). Among other things, someone has brought in 2 of the giant Subway subs. That were sitting out for hours without any type of refrigeration (not even sitting on beds of ice) in the break room. The disturbing part of that was that it appeared that the subs still looked "fresh". They were finally disposed of by someone over the weekend.  Probably by the person who took part of one after my friend saw them.

The subs were the least of the problems. Yesterday (Aug 20) he sent me this IM:

Remember the potluck from LAST friday? The one withe sandwiches of doom (which are gone now). Well I got this email today. -

"Will the owner of the crockpot left over from Fridayís pot-lunch lunch please take it home?!
Itís standing in the break room with food still in it and it is becoming furry. I donít want us to have to name it.
 
Thank you "

Wen to check and yup it's there and a nice shade of green.

We both had a moment of grossed out chuckling.
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All In A Day's Work / Re: Nancy the Nosy Co-worker
« Last post by LadyClaire on Yesterday at 08:01:23 PM »
I agree, it's time to get blunt. Stop trying to be careful of her feelings, she clearly doesn't care about yours.

Yeah..I'm afraid it will have to come to that. I'm pretty bad about being overly nice and just gritting my teeth and dealing with people, but she's getting on my last nerve now and I've noticed people are now actively avoiding coming to my desk to speak to me about things. I've been getting a lot of e-mails and phone calls instead.
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Entertaining and Hospitality / Re: Dirty diaper in my kitchen.
« Last post by Ceallach on Yesterday at 07:57:06 PM »
I don't think that a kitchen bin is the best place for a used diaper, but it's a reasonable guess as to where the host might want it.  Unless you've specified otherwise, it seems OTT to categorize a guest putting the diaper there as rude, since it is a common choice.  Similarly, the bathroom can is a reasonable guess as to where it should go.  On the other hand, for a host to specify putting the diaper in the bathroom vs. the kitchen trash is very reasonable.  I'm not sure that having a guest take it home or take it outside is as reasonable, particularly depending on the duration of the visit and the weather. 

I can't wrap my head around not changing a child in or very near the bathroom, since I would have thought that easy access to running water to wash either the child or ones own hands was important, but I've never had to change a baby.  It would seem risky to me to use a carpeted floor or bed since they are hard to clean if disaster occurs.  Wouldn't a dresser or table (not the dining table) work better?  Aren't most changing tables a hard surface for a reason?

Re washing the child, that's what baby wipes are for.   I know a couple of people who for green reasons use wet cloths instead, but even they typically use disposable wipes when out.   As PPs have discussed, in case of an absolute blowout emergency yes you'd want running water, but believe me you *know* you need this beforehand - e.g. when you realise that the child has exceeded the limits of their nappy/diaper due to evidence on their legs or clothing.   Fortunately that's rare!    ;D

Re adult hand washing - obviously I usually do wash my hands after changing a nappy, but that can't be done until the child is completely dressed and safe regardless, e.g. I couldn't leave them lying on a change pad while I do it.   So it doesn't make much difference whether the sink is in the room or if I pop into the bathroom wash my hands once baby is back playing on the floor or being held by somebody else.  But yes, proximity does make sense.  I found the hospital stay after childbirth very convenient because the sink for hand washing was in the room - so nice and close to where I was changing baby!

And in my experience change tables are almost never hard surfaces.   The ones at the mall are, but ones in people's homes are usually cushioned pads.  Remember the baby's head is lying on the surface and they're quite tender.   When I change my toddler on a hard surface in public I usually get him to stand up for the change.  With a small baby I put soft wraps/blankets down before changing.
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Life...in general / Re: Article - Things You Should Not Explain
« Last post by miranova on Yesterday at 07:53:51 PM »
I get the idea behind the article, I really do.  I'm sure it comes from a place of being sick and tired of explaining things to people who are pushy and intrusive.  However the entire thing left me with the thought: "so.....what in the world are friends and family supposed to talk about if not work choices, relationships, how they spend their time, their marriages, their beliefs, priorities, etc?"  Are we to only talk about the weather?  How boring.  I enjoy talking about a lot of these things, including finances, even though it is supposedly taboo.  Yes, I know I don't "owe" it to anybody, but the article seemed to take the idea a bit far, implying that anyone who wants to know these things about their loved ones, even out of innocent curiosity is a nosy busybody. 
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Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: Awesome book titles
« Last post by MamaMootz on Yesterday at 07:51:08 PM »
The True Meaning of Smekday.

My daughter (12) was reading it for school, and I just had to know. It was, by the way, awesome.
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