« Last post by Winterlight on Today at 10:43:26 AM »
I would, but if you choose not to make sure your guests know in advance.
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I posted that I dumped someone over a name, both my father's and brother's names to be exact. However, there was also Joe - Joe or maybe it was spelled JoJo. Any how, I couldn't get passed a grown man with that name. Sure, it's cute for a toddler, but not a twenty something year old. He refused to allow anyone to call him just Joe.
Was he from Tombstone, AZ? If so then he probably needed to get back to where he once belonged.
Guy thought it was a silly reason but, as with many other things, he was wrong.
I was a single mom with one child in high school and one older. The younger one played on his school basketball team and was on a select soccer team, so practices and games filled most of my nights and weekends. Guy didn't want to come to son's soccer games unless there was going to be something exciting like blood and teeth being kicked out. Dumped him for good one night when he asked if I had to go to all of son's games. Yes. Yes, I do.
Guy very quickly found a childless woman to go out with, so I doubt he mourned me all that much.
I recently watched Robin Williams "Weapons of Self Destruction" and he suggested that if you have a relative with dementia, put them on the phone with a telemarketer. She'll think she's talking to a long lost relative and the telemarketer will never call you again. Win-win!
Methinks you might want to distance yourself from coworker if she's this paranoid.
Can you try the tactic of suggesting, "You know, let's not do gifts any more. Let's just keep it simple and skip gifts from now on." It does involve acting like the fictional gifts have actually been happening, but if the end result is that the fiction of gifts can now stop, it would be an improvement. If she went along with it, then the promises would finally stop. Also, if you're suggesting no gifts, then it's hard to accuse you of being materialistic.
I like this. I would say this once as an opening response. If she repeats in the same conversation that gifts will be coming later or says it again in later conversations, I'd respond every time with, "No, we'll skip gifts from now on." That could be your "cut-and-paste" or "Toots Special."
Because she also rubs salt in the wound by discussing what she's bought for others, that's probably the point when I'd end the conversation. When she starts talking about what she bought for so-and-so, I'd say, "Mom, sorry, I have to go." And hang up every time.
Both of these are more indirect ways of dealing with the problem. If she asks why you don't want to exchange gifts
play along with the fictional giftsanymore, I like JenJay's wording.
A more direct way of handling it would be to respond directly with what JenJay suggests when she brings up sending gifts later. If she plays that off as if you're being gift-grabby, let that be her problem. She saves face by making you out to be gift-grabby. And that may be the place where there are no magic words to fix her perceptions. I wouldn't worry too much about her perceptions or defend myself against them. If she makes comments about how you're only in it for the gifts, a non-apology or similar statement might be appropriate: "I'm sorry you think that" or "It's too bad you think that." And then end the conversation.
We got an email from our ISP telling us one of our computers was sending out junk and they were going to cut off our service until the offending computer was disinfected. So I called them and it turned out the email was legit. Our son had installed malware on his laptop. It was so bad he ended up having to get a new one.
I dated a guy who went by Jimmy. Never Jim. Always Jimmy.
That was bad enough but he also was shocked when I mentioned that I was no fan of Wings but had a crush on Paul McCartney when he was still with the Beatles.
His shock was at the fact that Paul McCartney was with a band before Wings....
The saddest part.... Jimmy was a rock musician by profession.