News: There is a new Ehell Kindness Project!  Check it out in the "Extending the Hand of Kindness" folder or here: http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=139832.msg3372084#msg3372084   

  • August 25, 2016, 07:29:20 PM

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31
I still think she needs to be included in these conversations.  This obviously affects her.  The fact that she has a history of making unreasonable requests, I think, jus adds to the argument that she shouldn't be excluded.  It would be so easy for the OP to say "SIL, I've provided X, Y and Z per our agreement.  You are asking me for A, B and C, which is your contribution." 

If SIL is excluded, then she can always come back and say that she doesn't agree with what the OP and her Brother worked out.  This would make things difficult for the brother and not be a good outcome for Dad.  And it would all personally affect the OP.  Unfortunately, when care for an elderly relative is being discussed, everyone who's life is affected should be included...regardless of how difficult the personality.
32
I think makeup falls into the category of "the whole getup for a performance isn't necessarily comfortable." The makeup we wore for swimming was waterproof and very thick. The hairpieces were itchy. The swimsuits were fine, but dance costumes on the other had were also not especially comfortable. It was just part of the package of getting the right look (not necessarily "identical to the next girl", but "uniform with the team").


Aha! Your last line is really helpful for me in nailing down why I feel okay about makeup and costumes and requesting a particular hair style, but I'm absolutely livid about the hair straightening.

Asking for uniformity with the team is fine because it acknowledges that everyone may look different, but they're making an effort at consistency, whereas identical is impossible and therefore asking for it sets an impossible standard.
33
Guests / Re: SO not Invited to Friends Wedding
« Last post by mime on Today at 05:14:07 PM »
People can have whatever standard or cutoff they want, and married or engaged couples is one that makes sense to a lot of people.  But to me, the bottom line is this:  the friend has socialized with the OP and her boyfriend, several times, and knows they live together and that he isn't just a flavor of the month.  This warranted at least a phone call or an email to the OP explaining why her SO was not invited to the wedding.

I think this is where I fall, too. The HC can have a black-and-white cutoff and be "correct," and I don't have a problem with the cutoff being married or engaged couples. But they have to recognize the fact that it may leave some friends bewildered or hurt. If these are their nearest and dearest, after all, I think they deserve a phone call.
34
I think makeup falls into the category of "the whole getup for a performance isn't necessarily comfortable." The makeup we wore for swimming was waterproof and very thick. The hairpieces were itchy. The swimsuits were fine, but dance costumes on the other had were also not especially comfortable. It was just part of the package of getting the right look (not necessarily "identical to the next girl", but "uniform with the team").

35
Life...in general / Re: Driving etiquette: Signage vs "local customs"
« Last post by mime on Today at 05:06:46 PM »
You were following the posted instructions. You were absolutely not rude.

There are some social situations where it is good to learn local customs and follow suit to be polite, but traffic is about safety and efficiency, and expecting drivers to anticipate different community deviations from whatever the laws and signs tell you is asking for trouble.

I agree with PPs who say that even if you irritated someone, it doesn't mean you were rude, and it doesn't mean you were wrong. They would have done better to follow the instructions as well.

--I'm from a state that is desperately trying to re-educate its drivers to do the zipper merge rather than back up for miles in a single lane when two lanes are still available. It seems to be working a little, while really irritating some drivers, who then try to straddle the line and take up both lanes so nobody can pass them.  ::)


36
Entertaining and Hospitality / Re: what to serve with chicken wings?
« Last post by Bert on Today at 05:06:05 PM »
In the same vein as mandycorn's fruit tray idea, I'd go with a sliced up, balled, or cubed watermelon.  Goes great with spicy/fried food.
37
Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: Naked Ladies... and other weird plant names
« Last post by Bijou on Today at 05:03:33 PM »
Grease wood.  I don't know if that's the real name for this bush or tree, but it's what my Dad used to say when we were at camp or driving through the woods and we kept smelling salami and crackers. He was a lumberjack and spent a lot of time in the woods.  I should have had him point one out to me, but i was just a little kid.  I still smell it when we drive through the woods.   I love that fragrance.
38
Entertaining and Hospitality / Re: what to serve with chicken wings?
« Last post by mandycorn on Today at 05:02:25 PM »
Tomorrow i'm having a small get together.  6 people total.  i plan on ordering 50 wings, 3 orders of fries and 2 orders of onion rings.  The wings come with a generous amount of celery, carrots and dressing.  I would like to have something else on hand.    DS suggested little hot dogs in a blanket?  Any other ideas? 

TIA

As a not super big fan of wings, hot dogs in a blanket sound awesome to me. If that's not the reason for more food for your crew, maybe something like a fruit tray or a big green salad? Either of those sound like they'd be good to round out the deep fried awesomeness. 
39
Entertaining and Hospitality / what to serve with chicken wings?
« Last post by MOM21SON on Today at 04:58:03 PM »
Tomorrow i'm having a small get together.  6 people total.  i plan on ordering 50 wings, 3 orders of fries and 2 orders of onion rings.  The wings come with a generous amount of celery, carrots and dressing.  I would like to have something else on hand.    DS suggested little hot dogs in a blanket?  Any other ideas? 

TIA
40
A bird got into the space between our ceiling and the floor of the room above and pecked a hole through to our bedroom.  I could see his little beak when he broke through.  My eyes were as big as saucers.  We wondered about that darned pecking sound we kept hearing.
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