This thread is already going south. Locked.
The forum is out of maintenance mode and back to normal operations.
Well...if I directly offended someone I could understand.....but do we refuse admittance for something that happened elsewhere? I know I take with a grain of salt eveything I hear about people second hand and I think we could still be gracious to Bob. I got the impression that the party scenario was just an example of why Bob isn't welcome. I am not trying to say Bob "should" be invited everywhere....just that I think I would give him the benefit of the doubt and not slam the door in his face because of what is essentially Ron and Amy's rude behaviour.
Have you talked to your husband about this since the original post, or are you still thinking about what to do? (Brainstorming specifics of any of the suggestions made here would be premature if you're still undecided on even the broadest level of whether to change anything, let alone what.)
I have not - I was mostly curious about eHell's take on this, since working out reasonable compromises seems to be a specialty here
It's not a frequent craving of cookies; maybe once a month in the winter time, and every few months in the summer. I left the chocolate out of half of the last batch of chocolate chip cookie dough, and hid both packets of dough behind the ice pack. It seems he found them and has eaten most of the chocolate inclusive dough, but doesn't seem to have touched the one without chocolate.
QuoteEventually the conversation moved on and we managed to enjoy the rest of the lunch, but myself and several of the other people at the table talked afterwards about how awkward the encounter with Cassy was, and we wondered if we handled it properly. So what do you think, e-hell? Was there anything more we could do?
I feel bad for Cassy. She kindly offered an accommodation in the event that the music was too loud. You and your party then abused that accommodation by trying to change the music for something you found more agreeable. That wasn't what she offered. When she grew a spine and said no, you then got her supervisor involved? Over music? Holiday music? At a holiday party?
'All of you at the table' may have preferred non-holiday music. What about the rest of the people at the lunch?
OP, I see a lot of posts from you in which you try to mould the world to your own preferences. This rarely works.
None of you seem to care that a celebration that is meant for family is deliberately excluding family on the basis of their love life.
She doesn't have the right to "own" Thanksgiving. She can have all the dinner parties she wants. But, what she should do, if she cannot accommodate all of the family--which includes significant others--these are full grown adults, we're talking about, not high schoolers--she should defer to someone else to host it who can accommodate everyone.
Larry has been married and presumably lived as an adult for a very long time. To host Thanksgiving and say that he can't bring a date is rude. If you do that then it is not a truly a family event because you would exclude your family member because he is only dating someone and not married to them.
If he was married, his aunt would have to invite his wife. I don't think it should be any different just because this woman is his girlfriend and not his wife.
No one should be presuming that because Larry is divorced that he will come single.
What if Larry was gay and not able to marry his boyfriend? Is Auntie's rule ok then?
You don't split up social couples and its not up to someone else to decide what constitutes a social couple for a adult.
I find it rather presumptuous to tell people they should care about the same things that you do. No one excluded family, the hostess just wanted an intimate gathering which didn't include a stranger to her.
As for owning Thanksgiving, where did that come from? I read nothing that she declared herself queen of the holiday. She does, however, have the right to invite who she wants. It's up to nephew how to handle that the girlfriend isn't invited, but the option of bringing her against objections of the host and family isn't one of them.
And Hmmmmm, as for the girlfriend's attendance, assuming she was unaware of the conflict, I hope the aunt and family were gracious and then expressed their anger later. How embarrassing and humiliating it would have been for the girlfriend to be either unwelcomed or turned away.