News: IT'S THE 2ND ANNUAL GUATEMALA LIBRARY PROJECT BOOK DRIVE!    LOOKING FOR DONATIONS OF SCIENCE BOOKS THIS YEAR.    Check it out in the "Extending the Hand of Kindness" folder or here: http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=139832.msg3372084#msg3372084   

  • April 29, 2017, 06:52:55 AM

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31
gena264 it is starting to remind me of a horrible/hilarious pamphlet that I read back in the 80's.  It was how to pick up women and I found it at a thrift store.  Basically the writer was telling guys that dating was a numbers game - the more you try the more likely that you will "score a date".  One of the techniques was to keep a little black book and call every woman who's number you could get, no matter what their circumstances might be.   Your "friend" might not pick up on your cues because he doesn't really care. 

I'm still suspicious of the gone all weekend thing, I have teens that takeover computers - but they don't get up before 6 am on a Saturday.
32
Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: Baby Names - You're kidding Right???
« Last post by Tea Drinker on Yesterday at 08:19:40 PM »
I saw Semaj today.

I knew someone who used that as a handle for online and fannish stuff, but I'm fairly sure his wallet name was James, and he was either James or Jim at work.
33
Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: Googling vs. posting questions here
« Last post by Tea Drinker on Yesterday at 08:13:27 PM »
Subjectivity comes in for a lot of things, and makes it more worth asking a forum.

So does "I tried googling this, and it's not helping."

I just posted to a town email list, asking people to recommend an ophthalmologist, and explained that this was because the two my doctor had recommended don't take my insurance, and the one my friend recommended isn't actually seeing patients at either of the offices I can get to. Several strangers were helpful, with answers like "I see so-and-so, at this location, and I like her" (and a few less so, including one "You could try X large medical group, even though they don't list that specialty on their website").

But that's a more utilitarian list than this part of EHell, so the question wasn't "Is this appropriate?" but "Are these people likely to have the information I need?" and when a neighbor was over here yesterday so her child could play with my cats, I asked if she knew an ophthalmologist and she suggested I ask the list. (I like living someplace where my neighbor isn't just willing to feed the cats for us, but we make a play date for her daughter to come see them again once I'm home.)
34
Family and Children / Re: S/O being cowed by your children
« Last post by Zizi-K on Yesterday at 08:07:14 PM »
So Charlotte is Anna's daughter too? If so then yes. Wouldn't it be better for these family members to communicate their needs and boundaries? If at that point Charlotte is unsupportive then Betty can move forward without revisiting the subject. Actually she should do that either way.

If I read this right, Charlotte is Anna's sister and Betty's aunt.

I'm not sure whether it's appropriate for Betty to contact Charlotte in order to get her to be more supportive for Anna--that's pretty clearly a relationship issue. It would, I think, be appropriate for Betty to contact Charlotte and invite her to get together for lunch, or coffee, or a movie, something that isn't a whole-family thing and therefore wouldn't involve Anna. And then she can decide whether this is just general catching up, or whether she wants to confide in her aunt about any of the relationship stuff. (Yes, there are situations where it's inappropriate to invite someone to get together "just the two of us," but a person can certainly call her aunt who she's on basically good terms with, even if they haven't been close.)

I agree. I think that Betty can confide in whoever she wants. Whether or not it is wise to do so with Charlotte in particular, I'm not certain. To do so, Betty would have to believe that she can somehow convince Charlotte of a different perspective than one she's been bolstering for years, as well as that Charlotte is influential with Anna and can somehow get her to stop complaining or trying to guilt Betty into a different kind of relationship. The first part might happen, but I doubt very much the second would. What is more likely is that Charlotte would run back to Anna with a report about what was said, and even more drama would ensue.
35
Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: Googling vs. posting questions here
« Last post by rose red on Yesterday at 07:32:22 PM »
I don't mind recipe requests either. I think they're fun. However, if you (general) ask us the recipe for, say, regular rice krispies treats (not a "fancied" up version), I'm going to roll my eyes and think you're just lazy. Like PPs say, that's like asking us what's the capitol of Texas; a fact that's easily googled.
36
Thanks everyone! After coming home from dinner with DH and checking my messages, there is ANOTHER one that just says  'hey'... so based on this and everyone's advice , I am unfriending and blocking. I just honestly feel harassed . This is just too much ...It is a shame that he is this way, I feel bad for him but I feel bad for me more now at this point !

Sounds like a good choice!

I wonder what he must be like in person if he can't even handle initiating a simple actual conversation online.

That is a good question! I actually got sidetracked and hadn't unfriended him yet when he sent ANOTHER message saying 'you can't chat no more?"
37
Family and Children / Re: S/O being cowed by your children
« Last post by Tea Drinker on Yesterday at 07:23:27 PM »
So Charlotte is Anna's daughter too? If so then yes. Wouldn't it be better for these family members to communicate their needs and boundaries? If at that point Charlotte is unsupportive then Betty can move forward without revisiting the subject. Actually she should do that either way.

If I read this right, Charlotte is Anna's sister and Betty's aunt.

I'm not sure whether it's appropriate for Betty to contact Charlotte in order to get her to be more supportive for Anna--that's pretty clearly a relationship issue. It would, I think, be appropriate for Betty to contact Charlotte and invite her to get together for lunch, or coffee, or a movie, something that isn't a whole-family thing and therefore wouldn't involve Anna. And then she can decide whether this is just general catching up, or whether she wants to confide in her aunt about any of the relationship stuff. (Yes, there are situations where it's inappropriate to invite someone to get together "just the two of us," but a person can certainly call her aunt who she's on basically good terms with, even if they haven't been close.)
38
My medical insurer no longer supports automatic Px refills.  I will have to call them in from now on.  I can't believe this.   ::)

I've been dealing with this for a while. It is just as inconvenient as it sounds. ::)
39
Family and Children / Re: S/O being cowed by your children
« Last post by lorelai on Yesterday at 07:09:18 PM »
So Charlotte is Anna's daughter too? If so then yes. Wouldn't it be better for these family members to communicate their needs and boundaries? If at that point Charlotte is unsupportive then Betty can move forward without revisiting the subject. Actually she should do that either way.
40
Thanks everyone! After coming home from dinner with DH and checking my messages, there is ANOTHER one that just says  'hey'... so based on this and everyone's advice , I am unfriending and blocking. I just honestly feel harassed . This is just too much ...It is a shame that he is this way, I feel bad for him but I feel bad for me more now at this point !

Sounds like a good choice!

I wonder what he must be like in person if he can't even handle initiating a simple actual conversation online.
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