News: IT'S THE 2ND ANNUAL GUATEMALA LIBRARY PROJECT BOOK DRIVE!    LOOKING FOR DONATIONS OF SCIENCE BOOKS THIS YEAR.    Check it out in the "Extending the Hand of Kindness" folder or here: http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=139832.msg3372084#msg3372084   

  • August 19, 2017, 02:57:42 AM

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31
Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: Pet peeves at work
« Last post by goldilocks on Yesterday at 04:31:45 PM »
People who react to their supervisors as if said supervisor was their Daddy with whom they have a contentious relationship with.  This was long before I was in management myself, but I had a coworker who would get very worked up if the director of our unit didn't ask us about our feelings.  "He never once came over to our unit to ask us how we felt about the new paint job!"  Seriously?  I work alongside you, and I'm not going to ask.  I don't even care how I feel. 

Now, yes, managers and supervisors should care to a degree about the morale of their staff, and about important departmental changes that affect how we do or job.  But 99% of what she complained about were either trivial issues or no issues at all --i.e., he wasn't checking in with us every other day to make sure we were happy.  She gave me a headache, and I can only imagine how the unit director felt.

or people who complain because Important Person passed them in the hall and didn't say hello.   Either they take it as a sign Important Person is Evil, or that we are all about to be laid off.   (For some reason it's never just them to be laid off, but all of us).   

Just once, isn't is possible that Important Person was distracted?    I'm sure I've failed to say hello before if my mind was completely somewhere else.
32
All In A Day's Work / Re: Lottery Pool Etiquette
« Last post by rose red on Yesterday at 04:11:44 PM »
It's not rude if you just want to play among your own group, but I don't see how it can be problematic for an "outsider" to join in either as long as all the names are kept track of. ???
33
All In A Day's Work / Re: Lottery Pool Etiquette
« Last post by kckgirl on Yesterday at 04:03:36 PM »
It's certainly not rude to make that rule if all members of the group agree to it, but I don't see how it would be problematic if an outsider is part of the group that wins. Everybody who played as part of the group gets an equal share or a proportional share depending on how much they paid into the pool.
34
Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: Pet peeves at work
« Last post by Writer of Wrongs on Yesterday at 04:01:01 PM »
People who leave a long message on my answering machine filled with information I don't need, and finally end with "goodbye and ... oh, yeah, call me back at nineohfivefoursixtwoblarugdhsds." Or worse, don't leave a number at all.

Your telephone number is the single most important part of the message. I don't need to know anything else.

This ^ is exactly why, when I leave a voice mail, it goes like this:

"Hi, this is Writer of Wrongs from My Workplace. My telephone number is (10-digit number). I'm calling to arrange (relevant information). If you could (whatever action is needed), I would appreciate it very much. *You can reach me at (10-digit number)."

* - If this is an introductory call to someone I don't know, I'll add here, "Again, my name is Writer of Wrongs with My Workplace."

I make sure I leave the name and number at both the front and end of the message, because I don't want them to have to scramble for a pen or listen to the entire message again. Because I hate having to listen to a 7-minute voice mail three times to try to translate the gibberish that was their number.
35
All In A Day's Work / Lottery Pool Etiquette
« Last post by Kaypeep on Yesterday at 03:53:53 PM »
When working for a very large company with multiple departments (we're talking several floors, remote site locations, etc.)
Is it rude to have a lottery pool for your department only, and to make it a rule to not let anyone outside the department to participate?

I think it's an acceptable rule because there's no way to communicate with all staff, and to allow one "outsider" to join in could be problematic if the group wins. It's easier to just limit the pool to those in the same department.
36
Argh.  My Teen Librarian came up with what she felt was a great idea for Library Month.  I agreed.  She asked if she should run it by the assistant city librarian first.  I said it would probably be a good idea.  She called him and asked if we could do this project and he said he would check with the interim director and our board.  I heard her say "Well, if they approve it, make sure Lily and I get the credit."

We got the credit all right.  The fairly simple, just for our branch, project has been hijacked by our board, stuffed into a matter transfer machine and a fly was tossed in with it.  Our simple idea for us has mutated into an unrecognizable, unwieldy monster that all the other branches have to take on as well.  And they added the extra feature of keeping statistics.  Everyone gave me the stink eye at the meeting where I hear I am responsible for this awful mess.  I put my hands up and said "Please, take my name off of this and do not credit it to me.  That wasn't what we wanted to do, it wasn't meant to be forced on everyone else and there was none of this extra nonsense."

In future I think we will just be renegades.  The mess the board have made is almost impossible to quantify in any way, shape or form. 
37
Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: Pet peeves at work
« Last post by pierrotlunaire0 on Yesterday at 03:45:44 PM »
 People who react to their supervisors as if said supervisor was their Daddy with whom they have a contentious relationship with.  This was long before I was in management myself, but I had a coworker who would get very worked up if the director of our unit didn't ask us about our feelings.  "He never once came over to our unit to ask us how we felt about the new paint job!"  Seriously?  I work alongside you, and I'm not going to ask.  I don't even care how I feel. 

Now, yes, managers and supervisors should care to a degree about the morale of their staff, and about important departmental changes that affect how we do or job.  But 99% of what she complained about were either trivial issues or no issues at all --i.e., he wasn't checking in with us every other day to make sure we were happy.  She gave me a headache, and I can only imagine how the unit director felt.

38
Humor Me! / Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Last post by ladyknight1 on Yesterday at 03:45:42 PM »
Scrolling through my Facebook feed last week, someone posted the video of a cyst being removed from AN EYEBALL. Just checked YouTube, there are several variations posted there. I had no idea.

When I asked my son what he wanted for dinner, he was watching that video.
39
Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: Special Snowflakes Redux - play nice!
« Last post by PastryGoddess on Yesterday at 03:39:52 PM »
I was very shy, even up to the time I went to college. My parents drove me down, and were going to help me move in etc. I still remember pulling up on move in day, and wanting my mom to go inside wiht me, as I was a bit unsure, and she told me nope, you do it yourself. So glad she did!

Oh, I was painfully shy as a teen, still am sometimes, however mom would have none of that when it came to any type of business transaction/life situation.

Me too! And you know what, while I'm still shy in large groups, say at parties where I don't know too many people, i have absolutely no problem doing waht I need to do, in life.

It's funny - just this morning I heard a commercial pertaining to this very topic!

The "mens lawyer" understands that even though your child is 18, they are still your precious snookums, and you need to know every detail of their lives.   Unfortunately, the colleges don't see it that way, and you do not have a right to see their information, even though you are paying for it.   But!   We have a solution!!   Come to the men's lawyer and he'll write up a document for you to get your child to sign (I'm guessing some sort of limited power of attorney).   But wait!   theres more!  If you are divorced dad, they'll do it for free.   Because they know how divorced dads are cut out of their childrens lives so much already.


I really don't understand any of this.   I was not involved in my childs college, other than paying for it.   However, if I had wanted to check on something or see her grades, I would have simply told her to provide me with what I wanted.   End of story.   If she refused, then a lawyer would be involved for an entirely different reason.

Ummm Wow...that seems a bit much
40
Family and Children / Re: Ask Amy - Sister buys family beach house
« Last post by bah12 on Yesterday at 03:28:54 PM »
I have skimmed over most of the posts on this thread and I have to side mostly with the Home-owning sister here.  Where I definitely agree that this is a relationship issue and there will undoubtedly be relationship consequences, it sounds to me like the LW doesn't fully understand or appreciate the financial and logistical burden her sister has undertaken with the purchase of this home.  Where the LW is appreciative that her sister bought the home so that it stays in the family, does she understand that she is doing a lot more than just paying for a house?   I think it's a bit much to expect that her sister is now obligated to host yearly family vacations.  Even if her siblings are bringing food and supplies to carry their respective families through the week, the owning sister is now obligated to not only pay a mortgage, but fully prepare the home, maintain the home, etc.  It's one thing for the LW's parents to invite their children to stay there every year for just the cost of their food and supplies.  It is also really wonderful that the sister was able to purchase the home so that these traditions can continue.  And where I think it would be really great if she was able/willing to just replace her parents old role and allow her siblings to use the place as if ownership never changed hands, I don't think it's reasonable to expect that she would be obligated or necessarily even able to do that.  My guess is that had this not been something her parents were selling, she would not have been in the market to buy a beach house for her extended family to use for their yearly vacation.  She stepped up in a way her other siblings were either unable or unwilling to do.  And I don't think it's too much for them to accept that their contributions to these vacations may increase as a result.

As for how much she is asking for, the LW didn't specify, I agree...but I also didn't read in that the problem was the amount of money was unreasonable, but more the fact that she was asking for it in the first place, coupled with the fact that the LW couldn't afford it. (And the second part read more to me like a reason to justify why she shouldn't have to pay). 
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