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All In A Day's Work / Re: Can you stop not-swearing?
« Last post by metallicafan on Yesterday at 05:22:39 PM »
I work for a debt management charity. We primarily deal with clients by email and post in my department but a few times a day will need to call clients or creditors - we don't take incoming calls.

The atmosphere is fairly relaxed, but we had a team briefing recently where our team leader told us to be careful about swearing in the office. We weren't told to stop entirely, but were asked not to do it at the top of our voice or across the room at someone. Perfectly reasonable. The only woman who had a slight problem with this was "Daisy", who sits about six feet away from me. She's a lovely woman with a filthy mouth.

She has now decided to introduce new non-swearing words and phrases into her vocabulary.

What this means in real terms is that yesterday I was on the phone to a client and heard a sudden yell of "Oh, hell's BUM!" Cue me biting down on my lip to avoid giggling while the client is asking what on earth that was.

And this continued all day. "Oh, hell's d*ck! Oh, donkey kong! Oh, ballbag!" I could see people around me jamming their fists into their mouths so as not to laugh, since laughing down the phone doesn't look good.

Is this worth trying to raise, or should I just hope she gets bored soon?

I fully admit that I found her word substitution really funny and nearly spit water all over my tablet!  ;D
I hate when people are timid in emails. I don't want to read things like "John suggested that I maybe contact you about this, so could you please get it to me by X date, or by Y week if possible? Sorry, I know you're super busy, sorry."  If you need something done just tell me and give me a deadline, but when you make things arbitrary and give me squishy deadlines and apologize your project goes lower and lower on my list of priorities.

I am direct. I am often too direct for some, and they take my communication as harsh. It's business, why tiptoe around?

Work is one place where I do think 'it doesn't hurt to ask'  Not for someone to do the thing, but to see if they already have a process to do the thing, and if it's available to everyone.  (Compartmentalized environment, and I get to do stuff that spans multiple compartments, fun times.) 

I do try to make the ask - Is there a process for this, and can you tell me how to do it for myself, but I also include the current situation and information for context.

I am always happy to make something clear or to provide additional guidance.

Example of when I am direct.

Employee X sends a request for a social media post to be sent the same day.
I reply that we need at least one day notice, preferably a week. This is due to scheduling, having the graphic or flyer checked to make sure it meets branding standards.
Employee X complains that is too harsh.

BG: We have specific colors and icons we are allowed to use. We caught an employee running a person page as their department name, in pink, with several protected branding items on it, in pink. Pink is not one of our colors. It took weeks to fix that.  :-X
Family and Children / Re: In-laws and motorbikes on the lawn
« Last post by ladyknight1 on Yesterday at 04:23:18 PM »
I would ban all motorbikes for at least 6 months, and possibly permanently. Not only are they openly defying your wishes, you have property being damaged, and them bringing bikes without advanced permission is dangerous.

Your DH needs to make this a set rule with her parents, family, and everyone involved. Without DH holding the line on this, his family will continue to ignore your wishes.
Family and Children / Re: In-laws and motorbikes on the lawn
« Last post by radcat on Yesterday at 04:10:43 PM »
OP - this sounds so stressful!

Yes it is!  We made a lot of compromises and alterations to everything to make sure the in laws had somewhere to live.  They store cars, a caravan and extra stuff in our shed.  We put a wall into our garage so they could use it as a storage facility.

I don't necessarily want to forbid the motorbikes in our back paddock.  I know the family get enjoyment out of it, and while we have no animals in there I'm fine with them using it, but on our terms.

I feel very disrespected and in some cases unwelcome on my own property.  They say no good deed goes unpunished though.

It's a shame,  because we used to have such a good, close relationship.
All In A Day's Work / Re: God Bless you from the other room
« Last post by TabathasGran on Yesterday at 04:06:42 PM »
it's clear in our office that we're all fine with the "Bless Yous"

Then again...TabathasGran hasn't been complaining to anyone, so maybe they all think she's fine with it. But she's not.

Iím fine with normal ones.
Just was annoyed by the ones yelled from another room for kicks.

Oh well. Iím over it
Family and Children / Re: In-laws and motorbikes on the lawn
« Last post by GardenGal on Yesterday at 03:54:33 PM »
OP - this sounds so stressful!  I think you're perfectly within your rights to ban all motorbikes from your property permanently, but if you still think they could ride in the paddock, then ban them for at least 6 months.  I would have your husband talk to his parents, and his brother, and explain that because they ignored your request that no bikes be ridden on the lawn, and the lawn is now badly damaged, that they can't ride any bikes ever again (or for at least 6 months if you want to go that route).  After that time you'll decide if bikes can be ridden on your property - and I'd stress to all of themthat this is your property entirely, not his parents.  If there is manual labor (or any expense) needed to repair the lawn, I'd have your husband tell his father and brother that since they caused the problem they need to do the labor and/or cover the expenses.  If they object, he can say that in that case there will be no motorbikes ever allowed again, and that it is not up for discussion. 

They were not only disrespectful of your wishes, but FIL in particular was extremely rude.  If they don't like your decision, that is their problem, not yours.  Personally, Id just go the way of banning the bikes permanently, since you can't trust them to respect your wishes.  Surely they can ride elsewhere, as they did before your in-laws came to live on your property.
Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: Baby Names - You're kidding Right???
« Last post by IMissItaly on Yesterday at 03:42:14 PM »
A middle name: Jay-ar......why not just use JR?
Family and Children / Re: In-laws and motorbikes on the lawn
« Last post by VorFemme on Yesterday at 03:41:29 PM »
Their home on your land - so they have to have access to get back & forth to their home, but they don't have the right to let other people onto your property & let them tear up the turf with the motorbikes.

Perhaps it's time to post signs saying "no motorbikes" and let your brother in law & his family know that the turf needs to recover for a few months to a year or more from being ridden on while it was so wet.  Some "natural consequences" from ignoring the clear instructions of "no motorbike use"....which are supposed to be the best "behavior modification" possible.  Except where the motorbike riders don't want to hear it or your FIL refuses to let anyone "tell him what to do".

And let FIL know that his motorbikes are included - actually no motorbike use at all while your husband sorts out what needs to be done for the damage to your property (landscaping is still part of the property).

Not an easy one to deal with...
Humor Me! / Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Last post by Reika on Yesterday at 03:30:08 PM »

I'm a practicing Christian, I'm sure I shouldn't find it as funny as I do. But "THE HOLY BODY OF CHRIST DOES NOT! CONTAIN! RAINBOW! SPRINKLES!" set me off and it kept going!|!

I laughed so hard I had to stop reading a few times so I could wipe away the tears!
All In A Day's Work / Re: Can you stop not-swearing?
« Last post by rose red on Yesterday at 03:27:49 PM »
Honestly it sounds like some of the words she has chosen as 'substitutes' for the objectionable swear words are at least as bad or worse than the words they're replacing!   ;D

Reminds me of Caroline Ingalls "We will not have wooden swearing!" because it's just as bad as the real thing.


What does 'wooden swearing' mean and yes, I have tried to look it up myself, but all I could find were people giving their opinion as to what it meant and their opinions were extraordinarily varied.

I think it means that just because you're not saying the F word, substituting words or losing control of your temper is the same thing because you mean it to be the same. That's how it's used in the Little House books anyway.

Ma said that when Laura was slamming her books shut and banging them down on the table. She didn't say a word, just banged objects around. Hence, "wooden" swearing since she was making angry noises with objects rather than words.

I thought she said the term more than once throughout the series. Maybe once to Charles? ??? Not positive though. Time for a reread ;D
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