News: IT'S THE 2ND ANNUAL GUATEMALA LIBRARY PROJECT BOOK DRIVE!    LOOKING FOR DONATIONS OF SCIENCE BOOKS THIS YEAR.    Check it out in the "Extending the Hand of Kindness" folder or here: http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=139832.msg3372084#msg3372084   

  • February 24, 2017, 09:16:31 PM

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31
People who can't do anything without a committee and decide that I'm part of the committee.   Someone in my family is looking for a used car to replace the (really, really, really, super) old car they have now.  I have nothing to do with this purchase.  I will not benefit nor will I suffer from any decisions the family member makes.  Also, I simply do not care what car they wind up buying because...I just don't.  I'm not even a car person whose input might be valuable.

I have received 3 phone calls today from family member asking my opinions about this or that car option.  I've quit answering the phone because I've been busy and don't have time to help her pick out a car.  The most annoying part is that if I did give any opinions or advice, anything she winds up not liking will be my fault because I "told her to do that." 

So, that's a hard pass. As it is, I'm looking forward to hours and hours of complaining about whatever she buys simply because that's how she is.
32
Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: Reading/Book Pet Peeves
« Last post by Winterlight on Today at 02:19:05 PM »
I'm willing to deal with a certain amount of typos and such in fanfic, but if I'm paying and I see those kind of errors I'm going to be annoyed. Get an editor and spare the rest of us!
33
But....dihydrogen monoxide not only kills people in excess, they can die if they don't get enough of it!  It's is just such a tricky chemical to balance...

Mom was a science teacher.  I've been hearing stories about this chemical for decades...since before I could pronounce dihydrogen monoxide, even.
34
Quote
I could see a shower for a fourth child if there was a large gap between the fourth child and the previous three but that's a fairly narrow target to hit and I doubt it's the case here!

I think it's lovely to host a shower for an expectant mother. When someone I know  is having a baby and there isn't a shower, I give them a baby gift, because I want to, not out of obligation. The problem with the emphasis on showers is that it seems to lead some people to think that it is the responsibility of others to provide for their needs. Just because there is a gap between the third child and the fourth, and the family may have gotten rid of the baby stuff doesn't mean that others need to provide the family with the baby stuff they need. They can buy the stuff for themselves.
It may seem harsh, but I do have a problem with someone having a baby shower for a fourth child unless there were some serious financial need.

I mostly agree with this. If some friends want to get together and maybe have a lunch and give a few gifts, there's nothing wrong with that. Where it goes into 'you don't do that' territory for me is when you (general "you") make anyone feel obligated, either to give or to host.

I have a friend who just had kid #4 after a big gap. It has been so much fun for me and DH to give away all the things-- especially the big things: crib, strollers, etc-- we don't need anymore (youngest is 2), and she was delighted to get all that stuff for free*. No shower, no registry, no expectations, and working out very well all around!

*Actually, they later gifted us some very generous certificates for two of our favorite restaraunts.

35
My mother is not a diagnosed narcissist, but I had a lovely therapist of my own suggest exactly what knitwicca described, to avoid a complete breakdown of my own from letting her own my headspace! I don't limit what I tell others, and I don't apologize if Mom is mad about whatever. She can get over it or die mad.

I explained the new boundaries (I will not be discussing topics A, B, C. If you bring them up, I will ask you to drop it, then hang up or escort you to the door.). She pitched a fit and didn't speak to me for a few weeks. Then she called me as though nothing happened, and I had to enforce those boundaries. She pitched some more fits, but eventually she learned that her options were to accept my boundaries and have a relationship with me or have no relationship with me. For a decade, I knew she'd stop talking to me every 6 months or so, but we've now gone over a year without a temper tantrum.
36
Yup, all natural doesn't mean harmless.  After all, arsenic and cyanide are 'all natural'.   ;D

and rattlesnakes, too, are all natural.

I also get annoyed with people who use the word, chemicals, to mean harmful.
All essential oils are chemicals. And so is dihydrogen monoxide.

37
She is the lowest member of the staff. The signs are proliferating and I will go to the business director if I need to.

She may have been instructed to do this. It may be listed as a duty of the admin assistant to post signs regarding office procedures. Even if none of her predecessors did it, she may ask and be told that yes, the assistant is supposed to do this. Maybe someone could address the tone of her language in the signs, if they are of the PA type.

We had a paid nursery supervisor position at my church that had sign posting listed as one of the duties. But no one had ever done it. Then a new person was hired, saw that she was supposed to put up signs, and asked. As part of the committee that oversaw her position, we told her yes, those signs are supposed to be up. So even though there had never been a sign before over the diaper changing table stating that we had to wash our hands before and after changes, and all the volunteers knew that you had to do that, she put a sign up. It ticked off some of the volunteers, but it was required for the position.
38
Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: Special Snowflakes Redux - play nice!
« Last post by JeanFromBNA on Today at 12:56:52 PM »
We stayed at a dude ranch this past summer, and my husband had a horse that we nicknamed "Bitey," because he bit any horse that came too close, including mine.  He also tried to bite the cattle during team penning.  That kind of behavior has unpredictable consequences.  My horse bolted after he was bit five minutes after the first time that I got on him in the corral.  Bitey settled down once he became comfortable with DH, but on trail rides, I was always behind him, not in front.  ;D

We also bribed him with carrots.   >:D
39
I've been part of a small business, and I agree about the constant demands for donations of money or goods. Like a lot of businesses, we had to set a policy--we give only to x and y, period. I was once in the tasting room of a small winery when somebody came to pick up the donation for the Local Charity auction. I noticed that it was a case of their finest stuff. I commented about the generosity and the tasting room person said "If we donated to every outfit that asked, we'd end up giving away our entire production. The owner is a major supporter of Local Charity, so they are the only one we donate to, and we are indeed generous to them."

From what I gathered from the forum post, this was just parents going around asking for support, with no real proof that they were associated with the team or the school. How would a business owner know it was legit? 
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