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  • December 09, 2016, 03:14:35 PM

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31
OP, the first time BN mentioned that your daughter invited the kids you should have said "Well, Sarah, doesn't make playdates; I do.  If she says the kids can come over please check with me before sending them".

I have to POD other posters who've recommended you take "time away" from the trampoline.  If the girls she's babysitting show up in your yard without permission simply walk them back to BN's house and tell her "remember, I'm taking a break from the trampoline".

If you don't shut this down soon I suspect you'll come home one day and find the kids in your yard while you weren't home.
32
All In A Day's Work / Re: Would this be bad form?
« Last post by RubyCat on Today at 11:42:38 AM »
Thanks for the feedback.  When I had run the idea by dh, he thought it might not be a good thing to do if I were considering looking for a new position.  However, he's been self employed for most of his life and when it comes to management vs worker issues, he's sometimes not the best sounding board.

Shifts tend to be 8 or 12 hours.  Sometimes we'll pick up a 4 hour shift but not very often.  More often, we'll stay an extra 4 hours if asked. 

I hate asking for accommodations and it's true that I'd feel guilty asking and then leaving soon after.  I'm also reluctant to give up 4 hours of pay a week.  Even though we can afford it, it still bugs me.  Also, I'd be less available to help sick uncle or babysit the grandkids.  That might also help with the burnout, though.  So many things to think about.  I think the schedule is already set through the beginning of February so I have a few days to think this through. But if I'm honest with myself, it's not good for me to continue as I have been.  I'm really aggravated with myself that I don't have unlimited spoons.
33
Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: Inexpensive Gift of Tea?
« Last post by sejeroo on Today at 11:33:31 AM »
There are all kinds of fun tea infusers out there, too!
34
Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: Inexpensive Gift of Tea?
« Last post by #borecore on Today at 11:31:38 AM »
I would go to TJ Maxx or Marshall's or Cost Plus/World Market. They almost always have unusual teas on pretty wooden boxes or tins, and definitely have cute mugs, too.

I think an assortment is your best bet. Throw in some cookies or candy if it fits in the budget.
35
Going out with friends tonight, after a really crappy few weeks at work.

And in a virtually all new outfit too!!
36
As I guest, I usually ask what I can bring, as my group of friends kind of grew up together from being broke 20 somethings to being people with our own homes and families.  The hosts of any party would generally make the main and the guests would bring the appetizers, sides and desserts.  But if the host/ess says, 'Not a thing!', I don't bring anything that is intended to be served for the meal.  I'll bring some wine and I might bring a food item that is intended as a gift but could also be served, if the host/ess desires.  This time of year, it is likely to be a plate of Christmas cookies.

As a host/ess, I generally don't ask anyone to bring anything.  If I'm asked, 'What can I bring?', I'll usually ask for something that could be an extra to the meal but not pivotal.  I like to have control of the menu so I know I have enough food.  We hosted DF's family at Thanksgiving and his SIL asked what she could bring so I suggested a salad, which made a nice addition.

DF's Mom is easy to get along with.  She has her traditions, though, so anything I bring is generally extra.  She hosts on New Year's Day, which is DF's birthday.  So I offer to make whatever cake he wants for his birthday and then whatever else she'd like me to make.  This year, we only live 5 minutes away so it will be easier to go over and help her with vegetable prep and so on.

I don't think it is fair to ask someone to bring something very specific, unless it is a signature dish for that person.  So someone who knows I make this fantastic chocolate orange zucchini cake (if I do say so myself  ;D) could ask me to specifically bring that but asking me to bring a pineapple cheesecake that they've never seen me make before is not on, IMO.

Any chance of you sharing the recipe for that cake?   ;D
37
I wish this would lead to Professional Darwinism, but it probably won't.

I work for a supplemental health insurance company (for those in the States, think of Aflac, but a competitor) as a claims examiner. My little unit consists of two co-workers and myself. Because we're so efficient at what we do, we're usually the only unit of all the claims units in my area to meet or exceed the expected turn around time.

To reward us for our sins, we often end up getting trained to help the other areas pick up their slack.

The current one we're help is something like 3 weeks behind. The reason why I wish it would end up in PD, is that one of the examiners of the unit we're helping tends to wander around and gab more than actually working. I have brought it up to my manager, but nothing has been done.
38
Think about what you will do if, or when, one of these children is injured and you get blamed.  I have lived in places where having a trampoline isn't worth it as applies to injuries and their aftermath.  You should really check this out.
39
Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: Jury Duty stories
« Last post by learningtofly on Today at 11:04:57 AM »
Called twice and didn't serve either time.

The first time I was a grad student and I was told to use that as my excuse.  There are a lot of universities in the city I was living in.  Half the rosters are college and grad students.  I knew a judge would not excuse me.  I was called into the juror box and seated.  They reviewed our forms.  It was a straight forward slip and fall case.  I had taken a pre-law class and worked briefly at a law firm.  I was dismissed along with the lawyer sitting next to me.  She left and I went back to the jury room to wait to be formally dismissed.

Second time I had to drive 40 minutes away, yes there was a courthouse 5 minutes away.  My DH got that one.  My boss was not amused I was leaving him with my work for the day. We were told there was one trial that day and we were all going to be considered for the jury.  There couldn't have been more than 40 of us.  It was medical malpractice.  Gentleman was already in the hospital and died of a heart attack.  I told them we were an overly litigious society.  They dismissed me.  It wasn't a line, as at the time people were suing at the drop of a hat.  The case took two years to get to trial. 

I'm waiting for the third time.  I'm overdue.
40
I understand that you're uncomfortable with confrontation.  But it's pretty easy to avoid a big confrontation by just dealing with it matter-of-factly in the moment.  First, explain to your daughter that you're going to take a break from the trampoline for the next few weeks (or, tell her it's just going to be a weekend activity -- either forever, or for the next few weeks).  Then keep an eye on your backyard.  The next time you see the kids jumping on it (and you will), just go out and cheerfully say, "Sorry, guys, we're not playing on the trampoline today.  You need to go back to neighbor's house now."  Ignore their whining, and just standing there, cheerfully and matter-of-factly telling them "not today."  If they ask when, it's okay to say forever, or for a few weeks, or that you're not sure.  I'm sure they will be back the next day, and you can just repeat the same routine.

If neighbor calls to ask what's up, you can either tell her you feel uncomfortable having so many kids jumping at once for safety/liability reasons, or you can just say, "Yep, we're taking a break from the trampoline for a while."  You don't have to give her a reason if you don't want to.  And if she says your daughter invited them over, just tell her that your daughter didn't check with you first, and you're not using the trampoline right now.  No need for a big confrontation or giving her reasons that she will undoubtedly argue against. 

And get a fence as soon as you can -- I have a feeling those kids will come over when you're not home, and I'd hate to see you suffer legally/financially if someone got hurt.
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