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You know, I was all set to get defensive about this because the second time I peeked, I didn't enter the room and the first time I entered the room was at DH's request to grab some stuff out of the desk. But then I put myself in their shoes and I realize that yes, there should be an expectation of privacy, and I shouldn't violate that as a host. I appreciate hearing that from you - it's hard to stomach when you are in the wrong sometimes.

At their house sometimes my MIL will come barging in when we are in the room alone, and that always bugged the crap out of me. She'd also come in when we weren't in there because her clothes are in their guest room and that didn't bug me but certainly wasn't convenient. So this shouldn't be any different and I should have known/done better.

I will say though that putting myself in their shoes, I would still never leave a room as filthy as they did, and the dirty clothes (including underwear on the floor) still bugs me, as does the clean underwear/dirty socks on my desk. I was thinking about buying a piece of glass to cover the desk as it's unfinished wood and cannot currently be cleaned, so I will go ahead and do that.
Since you and Jamie are both supervisors and therefore equals? I'd be pretty blunt.

"Jamie, Mary needs way more training before she pulls parts for Widget X for me. [Details about pulling flanges] [Details about cart set-up] [Details about lost time] So, for the short term, either I pull the parts or Sam pulls the parts [assuming that there is someone who can do this]. If you'd like me to train Mary, I'd be happy to."

I agree with this. Perhaps add, "Please tell Mary that she is supposed to listen to me and follow my instructions." But I'd also say to Mary, "when you are pulling a cart for -me-, you need to follow -my- instructions, no matter what Jamie says. This is true for any situation like this, where you're following your boss's instructions to help someone else. The 'someone else' overrides your boss.
    "Now, let me explain why it matters to do things this way, and put them here on the cart. It's like a surgeon and a nurse--the surgeon wants her scalpel in exactly the right spot so no time is wasted fumbling."
33 general / Re: S/O - Keep Your Dog Away from my child...
« Last post by m2kbug on Today at 09:36:49 AM »
Take the boy by the hand and get down with him and help him pet the puppy safely or walk away.  "He's learning not to touch strange dogs, but thank you."  "He has to learn ask permission first," and then tell your son, "You have to ask permission first," and then help him ask or you ask for him (which might be faster).  You're making a little show for your child and a demonstration.  For someone to say, "That's okay, he's friendly," they are not undermining your authority, they are letting you know that the dog is friendly and they are okay with your child petting him.  It's your responsibility to restrain your child and collect him when you see an approaching danger.  What I don't understand is people encouraging a strange child to pet the dog after his parent said no.  This is where some other responses, my suggestions above and others, might be useful.  You deal with your child.  If the dog owner says, "Go ahead, it's okay to pet the puppy," respond with, "He needs to learn not to rush strange dogs and ask first." (and follow through by helping your child)  There's nothing wrong with, "He's not allowed," and walk away.  If you are happy with your son petting strange dogs and the goal is to teach him to do so safely, you need to be doing the work to stop your child despite strangers' encouragement and take the time to teach him to do it right. 

You can't rely on people to adequately restrain their animals, as we all know, and the burden is really on you to deal with teaching your child. 
One way that you (2 ladies) should do it is to stand in judgment next to someone (me) who just said the word "h*ll" and continue to condemn them, even though the swearer is trying to ignore you and trying to gather stuff together to leave the very public place where you are both standing. The condemnation would include talking about how dare the person swear, they have a young child, they don't need to hear that kind of language, you're such a nasty person to use that language, and they should get someone over here to deal with you. Yep, continue to just stand there with your child and rant about this person when the person is not speaking to you, generally trying to ignore you, and just trying to get out of there. That's the perfect way to do it.
Family and Children / Re: How Do I Handle This?
« Last post by LadyR on Today at 09:31:18 AM »

I don't think you're being rude, no, but I think it's one of those situations where a little bit of give and take will work wonders for everyone's relationships with each other. He could of course decline the invite, but you seem very set on having him there, so I think bending a bit, if you can, might be the nice thing to do.

Actually his presence doesn't matter one way or another. Honestly, I'd rather he come to the afternoon party. When he told me he had the girls that weekend and asked about the details, he brought up figuring out what to do with his kids, and I told him he wasn't obligated to do both. He told me he wanted to. I just worry that getting him to make separate arrangements and then having the other kids would be kind of rude.

I'll be honest and say I think it's weird to invite Pete to your child's party, but not his children.  I can see why he's confused.  Yes, I know that the children are invited to the other party, but to have a party for a three-year-old and designate it as "adults only" is strange and doesn't sound like a whole lot of fun for your daughter.

Actually, as far as I know Pete is NOT confused. He asked and clarified the situation. He brought up finding arrangments for his kids. I was asking advice on how to handle it when he finds out Eve's kids will be there.

My son loves his aunts and uncles. Plus his brother. And Eve's three children (including his baby bff), so he definitely won't be bored. His last birthday there was no kids because none of our friends with kids could make it, same with his brother's birthday, and he had a blast. Our friends adore him and love to play with him and he loves having their attention.
Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: Favourite Kids' TV Characters!
« Last post by otterwoman on Today at 09:30:58 AM »
I love The Backyardigans! Heck, I want to watch it!
Jack's Big Music Show is another one I love.
Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: S/O Children's TV Shows You Hate
« Last post by otterwoman on Today at 09:29:30 AM »
While I detest SpongeBob Squarepants, I've found it does serve a purpose for me. If DD is falling asleep too early in the evening or can't seen to wake up in the morning, I can turn on SpongeBob and it will wake her up.

Calliou is whiney. I hate Sesame Street for teaching kids to whine and pester adults until the adults give the kids/monsters what they want. And if Elmo can't read, why is he living alone?!
I have an over the door mesh & wire laundry hamper that I bought for us to use on vacation (not all hotels or resorts have a hamper for laundry).  It folds up to almost nothing, so it is easy to take with us & hang in the bathroom or bedroom - where we are changing clothes anyway.

I get the idea that the desk is being used as a "dresser" and sometimes an extra pair of socks or undies ends up being left on it as the guests are getting dressed.  They aren't thinking about putting them away as much as they are about getting dressed & out to join the rest of the group.  So, the spare ends up sitting on the desk - where the OP ends up seeing it because she needs to get something out of her desk.

I try to avoid having my sewing space in the guest room for similar reasons - there is also the issue that guests rummage around for a safety pin, to look at "what I'm working on", or to see if they can figure out if their next birthday or Christmas present is in there...

But finding anyone's underwear on my sewing table would make me feel just a bit grossed out - clean or not - that is my personal creative and work space!

Which is why there is now a designated "sewing room" instead of it being shared with the guest room.


ETA - just saw the comment about the ILs having scattered used dishes, dirty laundry, and similar "ick factor" trash around the room. 

Are they used to staying in hotels that pick up after them on a daily basis? 

Are they this messy at home?  Ask your DH - if their standards of cleanliness are changing drastically - there might be mental or physical reasons and you want to be prepared if they have to end up moving into an assisted living facility....

If they are just "taking a break" from their normal standards because they are "on vacation" - it might be time to suggest that they stay at a hotel the next time they come....

Because dirty dishes belong in the dishwasher or the kitchen sink to soak in hot soapy water (if they need soaking) - not a bedroom....
My store does the same thing with ground pork. One month it is next to the ground beef and the next month it is with the pork sausage.

What I really can't stand is that I looked three places for bratwurst yesterday, asked one of the meat guys, and he went over to check. Yes, you're really out of bratwurst in the usual places, I was hoping you would have some in the back (frequently the case at this store). Don't look at me like I am crazy.

This is my home store, a mile from my house and I know where everything is in this store. I told my friend, the assistant store manager, and he was surprised they were out of bratwurst as well. I made lots of appetizers instead.
I don't think it's rude to request that someone stop using vulgar language in their presence.  However, it is also wise to be prepared for a more aggressive refusal.

While I'm not a shrinking violet I do think that people who insist upon expressing themselves this way fall short in consideration for others.
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