News: There is a new Ehell Kindness Project!  Check it out in the "Extending the Hand of Kindness" folder or here: http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=139832.msg3372084#msg3372084   

  • July 26, 2016, 05:58:33 AM

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41
All In A Day's Work / Re: The shortcut -- am I being unreasonable?
« Last post by mrs_deb on Yesterday at 08:16:26 PM »
I don't think you're being unreasonable at all.  I had a very similar problem in my previous job (posted about it here, but I think it's been archived) where my desk was in front of my partner's, separated by half walls, and people constantly came into my cube to talk to her.  I even tried blocking the entrance with a plant, a stool, some boxes, my work bag, etc., and they'd just move the stuff and come into my cube anyway.  Drove me nuts.  I shamefacedly admit I also sometimes pretended I didn't realize they were there, and rolled my chair back into them and then apologized profusely, saying I had no idea you were there! and I didn't expect anyone to be standing in my cube! and stuff like that.  That didn't work either.  Finally I just resigned. 

OK, that wasn't exactly the reason :-).

You tried to be nice, you tried to be reasonable.  I think you did everything you could.

42
All In A Day's Work / Re: The shortcut -- am I being unreasonable?
« Last post by ladyknight1 on Yesterday at 08:07:17 PM »
There is absolutely no reason to walk that closely to a seated coworker unless your desk is next to theirs.  This guy does not sound reasonable.
43
Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: My friend is finally quitting (smoking)
« Last post by zyrs on Yesterday at 07:54:06 PM »
What worked for me was remembering that a cigarette craving usually lasts for 75 seconds and then your body and mind release you until the next craving.  And the cravings come with less and less frequency over time.

So, I got small things to focus on for 75 seconds or so.  Little puzzles, things like that.
44
All In A Day's Work / Re: The shortcut -- am I being unreasonable?
« Last post by MrTango on Yesterday at 07:47:44 PM »
I'd tell John that you're done dealing with his comments about you changing cubes and that if he makes one more comment about it, you're going to go to HR and report him for harassment.  If he makes one more comment, even if it's immediately after you give him his one warning, report it.

For example
John: *makes a comment*
You: "John.  That's enough.  I'm not going to put up with you harassing me about this.  If you make one more comment about my cube move, I'm going to report you for harassment."
John: "Oh, you're such a whiner."
You: "Excuse me." *march directly to whoever you need to speak with about his harassment*
45
Life...in general / Re: "You don't seem happy"
« Last post by Semperviren on Yesterday at 07:40:59 PM »
"Seriously, I'm just fine. But I can make something up, if you like."
46
That we have a thunderstorm nearly every afternoon since before the beginning of July! Not every single day, but very often. I don't spend a lot of time outdoors, so it doesn't bother me that way, but darn it, I want to sew! My machine is electronic, so like with all such things, one should unplug and not use them while lightning is flashing around. It breaks my momentum and I have a hard time getting back into my quilting. (I just want to put the borders on!)

Can you get a surge suppressor? I use electronics during storms nearly every day.
47
That we have a thunderstorm nearly every afternoon since before the beginning of July! Not every single day, but very often. I don't spend a lot of time outdoors, so it doesn't bother me that way, but darn it, I want to sew! My machine is electronic, so like with all such things, one should unplug and not use them while lightning is flashing around. It breaks my momentum and I have a hard time getting back into my quilting. (I just want to put the borders on!)
48
All In A Day's Work / Re: The shortcut -- am I being unreasonable?
« Last post by Surianne on Yesterday at 07:22:53 PM »
If someone is the only person doing something, then you can't help but "single someone out" when you need to talk to him about how his behavior affects you.  I spoke to our manager more about the extreme vehemence of his response than the actual issue.   

Sure, and I think that picking on the behaviour of walking by your desk is a poor choice for singling out a colleague in your first month at a new job. 
49
All In A Day's Work / Re: The shortcut -- am I being unreasonable?
« Last post by DCGirl on Yesterday at 07:16:14 PM »
Try not to let this be a brick in a wall of dislike that could be built between the two of you.

That is a really good way of putting things.  Thank you. 
50
All In A Day's Work / Re: S/O: Not so happy hour
« Last post by LadyL on Yesterday at 07:15:44 PM »
 
I find events where people go out in large groups with alcohol being the central entertainment to be totally unenjoyable and of no use for "team bonding" because I'm so uncomfortable at them that I can't relax enough to participate.

Since you apparently work at a place with a culture that involves frequent happy hours, I will offer some suggestions from the perspective of having been on the planning committee for department events like this. Happy hours are partly about socializing/"bonding" but they are also a networking opportunity. I am not always an energetic socializer, but I am more motivated by going on information gathering missions - and people who've had a few drinks will give up all kinds of useful information! I've gotten the most candid information about hiring practices, work environments, etc. at happy hour. Maybe reframing it that way will make it seem to have more of a purpose, rather than just "being around people drinking for fun."

I think the best strategy for the drinking averse is to make an appearance every other event, stay for the first 60-90 minutes when most people are on their first drink, then leave before everyone has a second or third round.
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