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  • August 28, 2015, 02:43:35 AM

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Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: S/O PD Student Darwinism
« Last post by blue2000 on Yesterday at 08:41:49 PM »
We had to take off our hats in one class, because the teacher had caught people writing things on the inside. If there is a way to cheat, someone will find it.
Forum Announcements / closing account request
« Last post by Barnes66 on Yesterday at 08:37:44 PM »
Hi,can I please get my account deleted and my threads deleted as well.Thanks
We solved the birthday dinner issue. We found a restaurant that has no tomato products at all. It's a Chinese place. We are going there to eat. After dinner we will figure out the rest. I think I like the idea of buying new cutting boards and knives to leave here. Bfmom still hosts the major holiday dinners, so having those things here will make those meals easier.
When I first started working for the DMV, there was a road test examiner who was suspended by the state.  They had proof that he had accepted bribes from applicants to show that they had passed, when in fact, they hadn't even taken the test.  Since the state government had no idea how wide spread the corruption had gone, every person that he had passed received letters that they had to retake their road test within 60 days or have their license revoked.

This examiner had specialized in truck and commercial drivers only.  These were not 16 year olds.  These were professional drivers whose livelihood was threatened, and many of them could easily have been innocent.

Sad ending: 2 days later, the examiner committed suicide.  I often wonder if it was motivated by fear of all these drivers he had wronged (and he was also looking at refunding the fees he had charged -- the drivers had to pay several hundred dollars for the retest).
Family and Children / Re: Your visits are too long
« Last post by Stricken_Halo on Yesterday at 08:21:14 PM »
"It's been great visiting with you, but I need to go to work/run some errands/pick up the kids/[insert other activity]." I'm guessing this is a casual "come over for coffee" invitation from you. If she invites herself over, you're within your etiquette rights to say, "I'm so sorry, but this isn't a good time for a visit" (or "I only have an hour, and then I need to...")
Family and Children / Re: Your visits are too long
« Last post by LizC on Yesterday at 08:16:03 PM »
Start setting some parameters with an end time.

"Dear friend, let's get together and do X from 1pm to 4pm... I have some things I need to get done after that, but I'm looking forward to our time together."

And then start following through.

If she's a good listener, and considerate, she may even respond well to what some of my friends and I do... "Well, I love you, but I need to hermit now... Talk to you Monday night!"
Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: What's for Dinner?
« Last post by PastryGoddess on Yesterday at 08:09:11 PM »
1 pan pasta with chicken, sausage, pesto, tomatoes, and onions.
Family and Children / Your visits are too long
« Last post by alis on Yesterday at 08:08:56 PM »
How do you kindly say that to a good guest? My friend (who visits often and lives nearby) stays too long. 6, 7+ hours. She is a SAHM and gets lonely, but I work full-time and I need less intensity.
Let's look at it from the son's perspective. He and his wife have established a pattern that works for them. They have a church they like. Son doesn't often go to services, maybe because he works all week and likes to sleep in on Sunday, but he considers himself a member. They tithe. They get networking at their church. They get a tax deduction. They're doing well, at least in their own opinion.

Then Dad descends on them. He says he wants to give them money. That's nice. But then Dad starts grumbling that they're not using the money the way he wants. He wants them to stop tithing, even though it's spiritually important to the wife, and the son agrees with it. If they don't, he threatens, he'll stop giving them the money that they never asked for in the first place. Because, Dad implies, he knows much more about finances than Son.

This is not only overstepping things as a giver, it's got the potential to cause major problems in the son's marriage. Can any of the married people here say they would stop giving to causes they support because their in-laws disapprove? Can the son stop his wife from tithing, without getting into a nasty fight about how the money he earns is really "his" money (as his father seems to feel), not "theirs," and he's only letting her have some as his own version of charity? That her job looking after the house and children is not a real contribution to the family?

If Dad is truly concerned about Son's retirement, he can certainly see about setting up a trust; in fact, it might be a good idea to do it for all his children. But possibly, he might see his own public boast to "die broke" as being in the same vein as his son's statement that he "doesn't intend to live that long".

Yes, indeedy.
50 general / Re: S/O of treated dinners out
« Last post by mlogica on Yesterday at 08:00:34 PM »
We have discussed a few times what steps could be taken to limit her orders, but other than imposing a dollar limit, we don't know a polite way to tell her that it does affect how she is viewed by her coworkers.

And in the situation that the OP described, the bolded is such a big consideration.  Sometimes an action (in and of itself) isn't exactly rude, but it gets the same reaction.  Especially in a work situation, behaving or ordering out of the group norm is going to get noticed, quite possibly in a negative way.  The only one ordering an appetizer?  Okay, a little strange, but if you're comfortable being the only person eating, the rest of us are waiting for our food so it doesn't have a negative impact on us.  The only one ordering dessert, or asking for a refill on a post-meal coffee?  Now you might be keeping us at the table, because it would be rude to just leave.  Annoying, and people will remember.

OP, in the situations you described, I find the waitresses to be quite rude!  It is a shame to have missed the opportunity for a "teachable moment" with the employee, but I hope someone else has spoken with her.

These "free food" stories are always interesting, that's for sure.
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