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41
All In A Day's Work / Re: Good morning....let me ignore you
« Last post by Kiwipinball on Today at 03:56:44 PM »
Samgirl2/OP – I think what you did (post #34) is fine.

However, regarding all the “I’m not a morning person” comments, I hate getting up in the morning.  I don’t know of anyone who loooooves getting up early in the morning going to work every day, day in and day out.  But what if the people you have to work/interact with were to say “I’m not an afternoon person”?  Would you be okay with that?  And as far as actually placing restrictions on when someone can talk to you (general), well, what if the people you work/interact with would tell you not to talk to them between 1pm and 5pm?  Would you be okay with that?  Or is it SS? Hmmm….something to think about.

I hate getting out of bed in the morning. But I try my best to be pleasant.  By the time I get to work enough has happened in the day that I am fully awake.

It is SS, rude and unprofessional to dictate when others are allowed to speak. In this specific situation we do not have enough info to make a judgement on why the woman isn't responding.  But, saying  "I'm not a morning person" or placing restrictions on when one can be spoken to certainly isn't going to get anyone very far at work, or in life.

 I would be instanly put off if I heard someone say "Please don't speak to me until after 11:00 am, or the like.

I think it depends somewhat. I would be very put off if I couldn't approach someone about work before 11:00 am (unless that's when their day started) but wouldn't mind as much if they didn't want to chat about non-work stuff before 11. And I would expect that if I forgot and spoke to them, they wouldn't bite my head off or anything.

But for me, when I say I'm not a morning person, I mean more that I'm not likely to hear/notice you in the morning because that's not my strong suit to begin with and add in being tired... I do think employees need to be prepared to function when their workday starts.
42
Attire / Re: What did you do with your wedding dress after the wedding?
« Last post by lowspark on Today at 03:55:39 PM »
Sice we are going to Hawaii for our Honeymoon I am thinking of taking our wedding clothes and have our friends who are coming with us (she is a photographer) take a snap of of us jumping into the ocean wearing our wedding day clothing.  The dress will be ruined but it could be fun!

Wouldn't you rather donate it to charity or otherwise not waste it?

I kind of like your idea princessofthelake, although it sounds like it might be a lot of effort for the one picture as the clothes will probably be bulky and take up a lot of valuable luggage space.  ;)

But it's interesting that doing that might be perceived as wasting it, whereas storing it in a box in a closet for years on end is not. I'm totally not judging that response, HannahGrace, just that it made me think that really, anything other than somehow getting it worn or somehow used again could be considered a waste.

As I mentioned when I started this thread, my dress has been boxed up since 1980, and is not ever going to be worn again unless styles somehow drastically change in my lifetime, which I doubt. I ended up cutting up my veil to sort of dress up a wire mannequin I have in my guest bedroom. I'll try to remember to take a picture and post it.

It was hard to make that first cut but I'm glad I did it. The dress is awaiting some kind of similar fate. I just have to figure out what I want to do with it (probably make some pillows) and how I want to do it.

Sorry, I didn't mean to sound judgey either.  For myself, it felt incredibly indulgent to buy a dress for one day, and one way I can feel a little less guilty about it is to pass it along to someone else so that they can use it; if for some reason the charity doesn't want it, I would make something out of it so at least it has some utility beyond a single day.  I understand not everyone feels that way.

I didn't interpret your post as judgey at all! I didn't mean to imply I did. :)

It just occurred to me, reading your post, that I sort of did waste my dress by boxing it up all those years. I mean, at that time, it might have actually been useful to someone else. Maybe. But now? It's just an old dress that no one would ever want to wear again. Which is why I really am trying to make it useful again.   :D
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What we decided to do was we told Couple 2 that they were welcome to join during the same time frame Couple 1 would be there as long they could find a place to stay since our condo is maxed out.  We really have no problem with them being part of the fun now that we have had a chance to think about. 

Thanks again for the great suggestions!
44
Techno-quette / Re: Vaguebooking
« Last post by Aquamarine on Today at 03:53:44 PM »
I just ignore vaguebooking.  I am not going to feed into their drama by asking whats wrong, if they want me to know they need to come out and tell me.
45
Receptions / Re: Favor Ideas
« Last post by Harriet Jones on Today at 03:53:11 PM »
Reading all these, I think the overall lesson is: you can't win. Do what pleases you.   :)

ITA - the OP should do what pleases her!

However, it sounds like it would be less than pleasing to her if people left their favors behind, so she should at least understand the issues with non-consumable favors
46
Receptions / Re: Favor Ideas
« Last post by gellchom on Today at 03:52:47 PM »
That's true.  But if our group is in any way representative of the general population, it looks like most people don't like most non-consumable favors and consider them wasteful.  Certainly it seems that outside of a few communities, favors are not considered expected, let alone necessary.

And I also see that very few people like favors that are personalized with the HC's names or pictures.  I would definitely stay away from those.  We also got a good reminder to stay away from things that cannot be put in carryon luggage (liquids, sharp objects, even jam), and knickknacks that most people would just consider clutter. 

The favors people seem to like:
- none  :)
- consumables, especially homemade
- things that are useful at the event (e.g. fans at a hot outdoor wedding or head coverings at a Jewish wedding; the latter are often printed with the couple's names and the date, but only on the inside, so it still can be worn on later occasions)
- handmade items
- personalized to the guest (like photos or photo objects -- snow globes, magnets, etc. -- with their picture, with or without the HC)
- something that is a useful souvenir of the venue or city
- things that can be useful but do not need to be displayed in guests' homes (note pad, bottle opener, wine cork)

And we learned that some hosts will be insulted if the favor is left behind, but many guests figure they are just leaving it for someone who might want it.  Someone made a really good point that the hosts can sell or donate a whole bunch of things more easily than guests could do one at a time.  So guests should be discreet if they leave the favor, and hosts should try not to take it personally if they do.  And it might be a good idea to choose a favor that would be useful donated someplace if you have a lot left behind.

If I were in a community where favors were expected, I still don't think I would do them unless I could afford to do something fairly nice that I thought people would really want.  I wouldn't give away pencils or something just to be doing it, like a  booth at a trade show. 
47
Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: Favorite Childhood Books
« Last post by HGolightly on Today at 03:46:19 PM »
Cabbageweevil I think the works of Beatrix Potter are as required for Canadian children.  It helps having come from English and Scottish grandparents.

My favourite names were Mrs Tiggy-Winkle and Timmy Tiptoes.
48
All In A Day's Work / Re: Spitting out seeds at lunch
« Last post by SoCalVal on Today at 03:38:29 PM »
Well, I never literally spit out the waste, but I understand what you mean.

For the most part, I avoid eating foods at work (or in front of others) that are messy or inelegant (small things with pits, bones, overly juicy/covered in sauce and eaten with fingers, overly long like noodles, overly large or ungainly like big pieces of sushi).  I used to be pretty self-conscious when I would (and still am, to an extent).  However, fortunately, I'm not as self-conscious about eating these foods around others like I used to be so I'll remove whatever/handle whatever as discreetly and cleanly as possible but *will* eat them at work (so removing cherry pits isn't a big deal but handling meat bones still makes me self-conscious).
49
All In A Day's Work / Re: Good morning....let me ignore you
« Last post by LonniesMom on Today at 03:36:20 PM »
Samgirl2/OP – I think what you did (post #34) is fine.

However, regarding all the “I’m not a morning person” comments, I hate getting up in the morning.  I don’t know of anyone who loooooves getting up early in the morning going to work every day, day in and day out.  But what if the people you have to work/interact with were to say “I’m not an afternoon person”?  Would you be okay with that?  And as far as actually placing restrictions on when someone can talk to you (general), well, what if the people you work/interact with would tell you not to talk to them between 1pm and 5pm?  Would you be okay with that?  Or is it SS? Hmmm….something to think about.

I hate getting out of bed in the morning. But I try my best to be pleasant.  By the time I get to work enough has happened in the day that I am fully awake.

It is SS, rude and unprofessional to dictate when others are allowed to speak. In this specific situation we do not have enough info to make a judgement on why the woman isn't responding.  But, saying  "I'm not a morning person" or placing restrictions on when one can be spoken to certainly isn't going to get anyone very far at work, or in life.

 I would be instanly put off if I heard someone say "Please don't speak to me until after 11:00 am, or the like.
50
Life...in general / Re: Dining out etiquette (mentions vegetarianism)
« Last post by shortstuff on Today at 03:28:43 PM »
While I understand not wanting to offend your friend, it probably wouldn't occur to me not to order something I would enjoy.

To reverse it....if you were paying would you expect your friend to order something with meat?  No....I wouldn't either.   I would want my guest to enjoy their meal.  I'm sure your friend, while appreciating your intent would feel odd feeling there were strings attached to the offer of a meal.

It never would have occurred to me, either.  I have or have had friends and family would are soy free, dairy free, vegan, gluten free, strict vegetarian, pescetarian, and loose vegetarian.  We've been out to eat before and I've never thought about restricting what I eat.  The most the subject of their diets has ever come up was when we were trying as a group to pick a restaurant, and we wanted to make sure there were enough choices on the menu for everybody. 

I'm not sure how much my eating habits would change if a vegetarian was paying.  I'd probably order cheaper, because meatless dishes are usually much cheaper than even a salad with chicken in it.  That's honestly what I thought this thread was about.  But like I said, it wouldn't occur to me to not have meat in front of them, because I'm sure they see meat when they go out just themselves.  I hope this doesn't mean I have bad etiquette.  I always thought I was being kind to my friends by not labeling them and putting them in the niche of "vegetarian."  They're my friends first, their diet is much further down the list of how I identify them. 
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