The gifts you talk about sound lovely. Locally made earrings and such. They sound like very thoughtful gifts. If you're buying them because you think your mother will like them, and it's something you enjoy, (shopping and finding cool things for people) then I think you should continue.
But if you're buying them because you're trying to be more appreciated by your mom, then I'd say stop.
I was the child that no one was really interested in, so I get it. My brother was a genius and funny and just adored by my parents and their community. As an adult I went to a work party of my mothers (I was invited by my mother) and it turned out her work mates had no idea she had a daughter, they only knew of my brother. I realize today that I'm far smarter, logical, academically gifted and financially responsible than my brother. But folks will be folks and the best thing to do is get on with your life and accept what you can't change.
So, if it's the first option and you enjoy sending gifts, then continue to do so, but absolutely follow up. If she won't even talk to you on the phone, or she seems uninterested, move your love of giving to another recipient.
Oh they are things that jump out at me that she'd like. I know she appreciates me, she has told me, and I'm always there when she has a medical problem and I help her around the house without expecting anything in return.
My brother is a piece of work, a monster partially created by her. She always bailed him out of problems and gave him extra attention because she said, "I knew you'd turn out alright" (meaning me).
I know I'll be the caretaker as she ages and I'm fine with that. She loves me a lot but she favors my brother. I don't mind. My dad's neighbors didn't even know my father had a son but he talked about me all the time. (That made me sad to hear. I found this out in my late 30s when my dad died.) I was his favorite. Neither my brother or I flaunted or teased each other about it, that's just the way it was. The irritating part is that she won't admit it. I'm totally cool with it but she's in a state of denial. It's kind of funny. We've turned it into an inside long running joke.
So yes, in the future I will only give her gifts in person and will no longer mail them. That seems the most sensible thing to do. I get a response that way and know it made it to her.
(As far as the painting and wine night she has a gift card for, she has offered to give it back to me. I may just take her up on that offer and go with DH. It'll be a neat night no matter what.)
FYI, my brother yells at her, never gifts her anything but expects things from her, borrows money, still gets arrested, blew through his inheritance in 6 months, steals from her, and is constantly trying to get my mom to leave my stepdad (who is wonderful, quirky but very good to her). He's the first born, that's what I chalk it up to anyway. ....maybe he does need more help but I think the best help would be to cut those apron strings. He's mellowing with age but will always be Peter Pan.
Thanks everyone for listening. I rambled, I know. But my question was answered and I learned I should probably go to therapy over my brother!