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51 general / Drive through question
« Last post by figee on Yesterday at 08:47:17 PM »
Question for everyone about whether I'm being rude.  This has happened a few times and I' wondering what everyone thinks.

I go to a particular McDonald's drive through about three times a week.  It is generally at between 6.30 and 6.45 am, and I grab a mocha and a hot chocolate for a friend as neither of us have had breakfast (we meet to run our greyhounds together).  The drive through has two order points side by side and there tends to be a zipper merge to a single pay point, then around to the pick-up/ waiting bay.  To get to the order points, you go around the corner of the building (so you lap the building) and you can't see if there is a car at both sides.  The orders are taken alternately, point A and point B.  Often what seems to happen is that people pull into point A, while I pull into point B.  This is usually fine, but occasionally there is a slight queue at point A and none at point B, but people can't switch lanes once in them, so I effectively jump the queue and end up in front of one or two cars in the A queue because of the order taking system (which is automated). 

Am I rude for going to point B knowing that there is the possibility I will queue jump?  When it happens, I do feel bad, and because I can generally hear the person I've pushed in on, I often buy their coffee as well as my own as an apology, but should I be doing it in the first place?

It just struck me today, as the person I'd paid for drove past me (I was waiting for some breakfast as well this morning so was in the waiting bay), honked madly, waved and toasted me with the coffee with a huge smile before heading off, but if it's rude,. should I be doing it in the first place?
Family and Children / Re: How to act?
« Last post by JenJay on Yesterday at 08:46:41 PM »
Think of it this way - If your mom is telling the truth, and your son is making up stories that portray his grandma so terribly, there must be a reason. Personally I believe your son but I'd be distancing him from his grandparents and if they want to deny saying these things, that would be my spin. "I don't know what to tell you, Kiddo is adamant that you said this stuff. If you didn't and he's lying about you, well that's just bizarre and concerning. I'm going to put some space between you while I figure out what's going on."
Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: Teacher's policy on attendance
« Last post by cass2591 on Yesterday at 08:45:47 PM »
Locked because people can't seem to resist snipping at each other.

Simple answer do the OP: Clarify (in person) with the teacher and address any questions /concerns then. If time is short, make an appt for a 1:1 discussion.
54 general / Re: The absentee son
« Last post by catwhiskers on Yesterday at 08:41:19 PM »
I'll be completely honest and say that what your husband really ought to be doing is treating his family like regular customers. Which means he fits them in as the schedule allows, and he charges them for the service he provides. Maybe he is more flexible about "what the schedule allows", and maybe he gives them a discount. But they shouldn't be able to jump ahead of other customers (especially if they aren't even generating revenue!), and they should be paying something.


So basically, the "free work" gravy train should end. And the "discounted work" deal should be at your husband's convenience, not theirs. If they want work done at their convenience, then they'll have to be willing to pay for that...and they might have to pay someone else entirely.

Couldn't agree more. I am self employed and some of my clients are my family, my friends, and the company my brother co-owns. The personal friends and family (not the company) get a modest discount, but their work gets the same priority as my other clients. If someone wants something "urgently" and I am very busy, then they can pay extra to have it done outside my normal working hours or I can refer them to someone else. I'm not running myself ragged in my free time unless I'm getting something out of it to make it worth doing.
My over 50 year old plus supervisor is getting married to the IT guy from our company.  She is great and we all love her! 

We were allotted a one hour surprise party/shower.  The wedding is in a different state and no one is expecting a invite to the wedding. 

They have lived together for about 5 years.  So I need a gift that no one will be embarrassed about.  Oh, and we are all losing our jobs after the first of the year, so I know they are moving too. 

I was thinking a basket of spirits?
Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: Your own personal mysteries.
« Last post by Mel the Redcap on Yesterday at 08:31:00 PM »
I had a loose ring fly off my hand once when I moved too quickly; I heard it strike the wall, and then it disappeared into the ether.  It wasn't anywhere on the floor.  It couldn't have bounced far enough to reach any furniture.  We even pulled up the carpet on that side of the room in case it had somehow crawled underneath it.  Never did find it. :(

I had the same thing happen once, complete with pinging off the wall! Mine did eventually turn up though, lodged in the top of a vase holding flowers.
Family and Children / Re: How to act?
« Last post by catwhiskers on Yesterday at 08:29:54 PM »
I know you want to believe your mom, but why would your son say that?  It's not something he would make up on his own.  It's also beyond the pale that she would attempt to sabotage you like that and confuse him about how to behave or what is truth.

Your decision to supervise visits is a good one.

I agree. It sounds like something that's both too specific to the situation and frankly, kind of bizarre, for a young child to simply make up. I'd believe my son over my mother in a situation where she has shown clear bias against the subject matter (haircut).

I'll be honest OP. From the update it sounds your mother was more interested in her own well being than understanding your POV, and in understanding that you and your DH are the parents here, and that your parenting decisions do not have to meet with her approval.  She also basically called your son a liar over the scream comment. That's the type of thing I would never forgive or forget.

OP, not only has she basically called your son a liar, if I've understood your posts correctly she has also been indirectly responsible for making him cry twice now when you've talked to him about things she has said. He's clearly already having issues with divided loyalty here, and she should not be putting him in this position. It's cruel.

Edited to clarify.
All In A Day's Work / Re: Ex-employee lied about having cancer
« Last post by Ceallach on Yesterday at 08:21:51 PM »
Does her LinkedIn profile have your company listed?  If so, then you'll probably be asked for references if she moves on to another company.  What is your policy on references?  Unless your company policy is to only confirm dates of hire, I think it would be hard for you to give a good reference for her. 

If you're in a small industry, then yeah I can see something like this coming back to bite her in the behind.

Very small industry.   And she had no experience prior to working for us.   That's why I'm thinking she may have exaggerated her experience with us in order to get an even more senior role elsewhere.

In terms of references, the way it works in Australia is that the employee provides referee information.   So they would give the name and contact details of a referee and the potential employer would call them.   So it's entirely possible to give a fake referee and if the company isn't vigilant (which many aren't) they don't realise anything is wrong.   Companies don't just call other companies to ask about prior employees.  She would have to ask me or another manager to be a referee for her.   Obviously she wouldn't do that. 
Family and Children / Re: Paying the PTA to leave you in peace
« Last post by blarg314 on Yesterday at 08:20:23 PM »

11 fundraisers over the course of a year for 40 students is roughly one fundraiser for every four students in the school!  I can see why parents get burnt out.

My particular parent group has communicated via physical note, message boards at kindy, face to face and facebook group begging people to tell us when a convenient meeting time would be, and trying various times and we still average about 4 parents attending.

If you're begging people over four different types of communication and are still getting four parents at meetings, then the system you currently have isn't working very well. You can even have a feedback effect - if the number of people who shows up is small, then there is more pressure on those few people to take on more work, further scaring off people who would otherwise be willing to help.

What I've seen for private daycares is that in the sign-up it specifically states states the requirements for volunteer work involved with the school - and typically this was on the order of three events *per year*, a much more manageable expectation.

If you combined this with a careful look at the work vs return for individual fundraisers, to concentrate on high return for value fundraisers, and a clear outline of expectations for individual fundraisers at the beginning of the year, so parents can pick and plan, you might get better responses.

It's also worth considering other commitments of the parents, because odds are that your group isn't the only fundraising commitment they've got. Even with one other child in a different school, one kid in scouts and one in a sport, that's three more sets of volunteer expectations added on to your school.

My cat Holly insisting on playing fetch with her favourite toy, and demanding pats every time she brings it back.  ;D
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