News: IT'S THE 2ND ANNUAL GUATEMALA LIBRARY PROJECT BOOK DRIVE!    LOOKING FOR DONATIONS OF SCIENCE BOOKS THIS YEAR.    Check it out in the "Extending the Hand of Kindness" folder or here: http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=139832.msg3372084#msg3372084   

  • January 18, 2017, 06:31:58 AM

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51
Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: DECLUTTERING
« Last post by gmatoy on Yesterday at 07:17:51 PM »
Thank you for posting! I had chemo fatigue on Sunday, so didn't do much. Then I did laundry on Monday and back for chemo today. When we got out, we decided to go get our DGD and bring her home for lunch. So I made waffles for all of us. When DH took her home, I did the dishes. Again, not much done...but, because of decluttering, I make sure to make my bed, wash the dishes, and throw out mail ASAP. So that is a plus. Off to do one more drawer...see you later!
52
Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: S/O Beggars, Moochers and Scammers
« Last post by Sirius on Yesterday at 07:12:47 PM »
I'll have to remember the elevator one. 

This wasn't a scam call; this one was a wrong number that happened many years ago at the place where I used to work.  One of the phones in one of the dictation booths we maintained for use by physicians rang at 7 a.m. PST.  I was the only one in the office, so I answered it.  It was a high-ranking officer from a base in Ohio (my base was in California) trying to call Hawaii.  Since I'd worked in flight billing and had had to call Hickam Air Force Base on a regular basis I knew what he was doing wrong, as there was a special prefix that had to be entered before the phone number in order to get a station that was not part of the continental U.S.  I explained what had happened and gave him the correct prefix.  He thanked me and hung up.  About two minutes later the phone rang again - it was the same officer asking, "Just out of curiosity, where did I reach?"  I explained that he'd reached a physician dictation booth at my base in California, which was when he told me he was calling from the base in Ohio.     
53
I also don't understand why cheese suddenly became a mandatory ingredient in burgers in most places.  I have the same problem with mayonnaise.  Now I have to remember to tell waiters "No cheese, no mayo" every time I order a burger.

Probably because the vast majority of people want cheese, so rather than ask "You want cheese on that?" they find it easier to make the cheese included and force the minority to have to say "no cheese".

Well at least I'm getting some support here. I was complaining about this via text as it was in the middle of this event and it was suggested I was a monority.  Since via text and I know autocorrect makes itself known regularly, that wasn't just a cool mistype.
54
Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: S/O Beggars, Moochers and Scammers
« Last post by MrTango on Yesterday at 07:09:08 PM »
Had one happen at work the other day. We were in the elevator, phone rings, co-worker answers it. It was the Microsoft tech support guy, telling my CW that his computer is infected with viruses.  We both work for IT, so we know that's not happening. CW let the guy yammer on for a few minutes then proceeded to tell him that he had called an elevator. Immediate disconnect.

Not the first time we've received sales and solicitations on the elevator phone. A few years ago, another CW and I were stuck in the elevator. Maintenance company was there doing a regularly scheduled PM, but forgot to cordon off the car they were working on (the one we were in). Quick call to the elevator company, apologies all around, we'll be moving in 5 minutes or less. Phone rings, thinking it might be the elevator company again, nope, some contractor asking if we'd like to book an appointment for him to assess storm damage. He was a bit put off when I told him he was calling an elevator and his services were not needed.

Now when scammers call the house, I tell them they've reached an elevator phone. It really cuts down on the repeat phone calls.  >:D

I'm always tempted to answer with "Central Command garrison, Colonel Mustang's office, Fallman speaking" just to see how long it takes them to hang up when they think they've reached a military/government phone number.
55
Family and Children / Re: Ask or let it go?
« Last post by Esther_bunny on Yesterday at 06:59:43 PM »
The gifts you talk about sound lovely.  Locally made earrings and such.  They sound like very thoughtful gifts.  If you're buying them because you think your mother will like them, and it's something you enjoy, (shopping and finding cool things for people) then I think you should continue. 

But if you're buying them because you're trying to be more appreciated by your mom, then I'd say stop. 

I was the child that no one was really interested in, so I get it.  My brother was a genius and funny and just adored by my parents and their community.  As an adult I went to a work party of my mothers (I was invited by my mother) and it turned out her work mates had no idea she had a daughter, they only knew of my brother. I realize today that I'm far smarter, logical, academically gifted and financially responsible than my brother.  But folks will be folks and the best thing to do is get on with your life and accept what you can't change. 

So, if it's the first option and you enjoy sending gifts, then continue to do so, but absolutely follow up.  If she won't even talk to you on the phone, or she seems uninterested, move your love of giving to another recipient.

Oh they are things that jump out at me that she'd like. I know she appreciates me, she has told me, and I'm always there when she has a medical problem and I help her around the house without expecting anything in return.

My brother is a piece of work, a monster partially created by her. She always bailed him out of problems and gave him extra attention because she said, "I knew you'd turn out alright" (meaning me).

I know I'll be the caretaker as she ages and I'm fine with that. She loves me a lot but she favors my brother. I don't mind. My dad's neighbors didn't even know my father had a son but he talked about me all the time. (That made me sad to hear. I found this out in my late 30s when my dad died.) I was his favorite. Neither my brother or I flaunted or teased each other about it, that's just the way it was. The irritating part is that she won't admit it. I'm totally cool with it but she's in a state of denial. It's kind of funny. We've turned it into an inside long running joke.

So yes, in the future I will only give her gifts in person and will no longer mail them. That seems the most sensible thing to do. I get a response that way and know it made it to her.

(As far as the painting and wine night she has a gift card for, she has offered to give it back to me. I  may just take her up on that offer and go with DH. It'll be a neat night no matter what.)

FYI, my brother yells at her, never gifts her anything but expects things from her, borrows money, still gets arrested, blew through his inheritance in 6 months, steals from her, and is constantly trying to get my mom to leave my stepdad (who is wonderful, quirky but very good to her). He's the first born, that's what I chalk it up to anyway. ....maybe he does need more help but I think the best help would be to cut those apron strings. He's mellowing with age but will always be Peter Pan.

Thanks everyone for listening. I rambled, I know. But my question was answered and I learned I should probably go to therapy over my brother!

56
A minor, quite comical "baked beans" thing: I have a (UK-produced) cookbook containing a great number of recipes of many kinds, involving beans of many kinds. In the section dealing with beans-and-pork-based stews, there are adjacent recipes for Boston baked beans; and succotash. The preamble for the succotash recipe reads: "When this dish was made in New Zealand [sic] to feed hungry settlers at the end of a day on the farm, the system was simple -- they counted back four hours from supper time, then started cooking. The Indians used whole ears of corn, and bear's fat for flavour."

From the context, it's plain that what the author meant to put, was "New England"; with the error not being caught by editing.  Oh, well -- only "out" by approximately half the planet -- who's worried?
57
Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Last post by AngelicGamer on Yesterday at 06:04:52 PM »
It is against Chicago etiquette to take away parking or shoves in Chicago in winter. Now, with the spots, if there are no lawn chairs or other markers, then it's free-for-all but people should respect their neighbors when told to stop. Guy should be lucky that he still had a car to be thawed out instead of it being towed or vandalized in worse ways*.

*I'm not a car owner so I don't know what being frozen during winter would do to a car. Maybe that is the worse, but what the guy did is just not done.
58
Gifts, Registries and Money / Re: How to say honeymoon fund?
« Last post by SianMcClay on Yesterday at 05:50:01 PM »
I come from a social background where weddings are fairly low key.  You have a ceremony, and then have a reception in the "nicer" back room of the local pub.  I know, not very classy, but cheap and cheerful.  And there are not a lot of gifts from guests.  There are a few, but not usually enough to register somewhere.  And I'm from a generation where most people of marrying age already have all the household items they need, so gifts don't tend to go in that direction. 

So I come here and I see there are a lot of opinions on how gifts are dealt with at weddings.  It seems that gifts are traditional and so are registrations.  I don't have a problem with either.  So I don't really see the difference between a registry at Bath and Body works or a honeymoon fund.  The guests have three options here.  Chose a gift from the registry at Bath and Body Works, or Donate to their Honeymoon Fund, or give a gift of their own choosing.  I don't think there is tackiness in that at all.

So, maybe make it one of these three choices in a fun way? "The couple have registered at BandBW (link here), and at fundmyhoneymoon.com, but gifts of your own choosing are also welcome, should guest decide to bring one, however the only gift that is important to the HC is your presence at the celebration.

 :o That was horribly written, but something like that maybe? 
59
Life...in general / Re: Expressing opinions on dessert
« Last post by MaryR on Yesterday at 05:49:34 PM »
^ I was also raised this way. If you don't want to eat the offering for whatever reason, don't eat or drink it, but always say thank you for the offer. Take a small taste of something if you aren't sure. If you don't like it, push it around on your plate, but thank the cook for the food. Putting salt/pepper/salsa/whatever on food before tasting the food is rude, so don't do it unless the special salt/pepper/salsa/whatever is the food being offered and the food is just the delivery system.

Above all, remember that food is offered with love. If you scorn the offering, you scorn the love.

(I have a friend who eats things I won't. When he tells me that he has made a new dish filled with things that he has forgotten that I won't eat, I just thank him for offering and bean dip. He was offering out of love, not to offend me.)
60
Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: What's for Dinner?
« Last post by Bijou on Yesterday at 05:21:31 PM »
I'm Portuguese on Mom's side and I'm making Portuguese Soupas for dinner (pronounced Soup-izsh).  It's what they always serve at the Holy ghost celebration.  It's  wonderful broth-y dish with beef marrow bones, chunks of chuck roast, pickling spices tied in a little cotton bag with cotton string, fresh mint sprigs, Worcestershire sauce, garlic and onions, cooked until the meal falls apart, ladled over thick slices of french bread.  It's fabulous and I haven't had it for along time because we always seem to miss the Holy Ghost celebration.  When I was little we always marched in the parade from the church to the parish hall on that Sunday.  It was always so cold and foggy and I wore my little white communion dress with anklets and little black patent leather Maryjane shoes.  My legs were so thin and we didn't have leggings in those days....brrrrr...
I just called my sister who lives about a thousand miles from here and asked if she could smell it cooking.  She said I better not open my front door because I'd probably find all my Portuguese relatives coming to visit me.  I'd shout,  "Come on in and grab a guitar!!!!!"
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