• April 23, 2018, 04:57:19 PM

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I think a Beatle item might be ok for an individual bachelor/bachelorette party, but not as the official wedding gift. I agree that should be for the both of them or for the household.
Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: Special Snowflakes Redux - play nice!
« Last post by Aleko on Yesterday at 06:31:41 AM »
Quote from: Outdoor Girl on April 20, 2018, 09:12:24 AM
I hope that [many, many words that would get me banned] got a severe fine!  And is banned from consuming any product from that brewery, besides.

(Is it wrong of me to hope that he got run over by the horses and the dray?)
Wrong?  Perhaps.  But I'm pretty certain it's a nearly universal thought.

It was mine, certainly.

I'm sure common boneheaded stupidity and ignorance were uppermost there, and that he didn't mean to spook them into bolting: just wanted to make them move along enough to let him drive past, and hadn't the wit to realise that you shouldn't ever try to make a horse move unless you are confident you can stop it.

But mainly pure selfishness. A year or so ago the British Horse Society ran a campaign to educate drivers in dealing safely with horses on the road:

What I find downright chilling is that the BHS felt it necessary to frame their message as: "Driving considerately around horses is important - because if you don't, YOU could die, or at least write off your valuable car. (And, BTW, you are also likely to kill the horse / the rider / other road users.)" They clearly reckoned that a significant percentage of British drivers are just too **** selfish to be careful around horses "just" because the horse and rider might be killed if they aren't.
I think wedding gifts should be for the whole "household," so kitchen appliances or a garden implement are OK even if you know that only the wife really enjoys cooking or gardening.
A manicure gift card or a Beatles album are not OK unless both partners are interested in and can use them. Those are birthday or holiday presents.
It's not something I would do, no, as a wedding present should be a joint gift and anything very personal for one person might not be good for the other. You could ask if X also like the Beatles (for example).  If in doubt, I'd rather give a voucher and let them choose something, or get stuff that's neutral but useful like plain white towels.
Do the experts here think they could settle an argument between me and my wife:

When attending a wedding where you know one half of the couple significantly better (which I would think would be most weddings), is it appropriate to give a gift that is clearly intended for the person you know, and not their new spouse? So, for example your friend is a big fan of The Beatles so you buy them a signed photograph of them, but you have no idea if their partner also likes The Beatles.
I did volunteer tax preparation for my office when I worked for the Air Force.  Most of the people were very nice and glad to get the help, except for the tax protester who wanted to know how I, in good conscience, could help people with their taxes, as (in this person's view) it's illegal for the government to make us pay taxes.  Among other things.  His wife was a co-worker of mine, and she sat there and listened to him spout off with an obvious expression of "I wish you'd shut up before you get us into trouble" on her face. 
57 general / Re: When you gotta go, you gotta go
« Last post by Raintree on Yesterday at 12:00:44 AM »
But back to the OP; she was not disrupting anyone. She went once when they arrived, again an hour later, and again just before they were about to leave, and since there was a washroom there, it didn't inconvenience anyone. It would have been more annoying if she hadn't gone before getting in the car to go home, and then announcing 10 minutes later that she had to go. And it'd be like, "Why didn't you go before we left?"

Stopping every 20 minutes on a road trip because a participant chose to drink a gallon of water would indeed be annoying and somewhat inconsiderate. Regarding coffee, if the departure is early in the morning I would hope that there'd be a bathroom break at some point in the first hour because, let's face it, many of us drink coffee or tea in the morning to jump-start us into consciousness. If I'm up and about and at a place with a washroom, I will use it at will, but if I am in a car with a bunch of people going somewhere, I can hold it a bit longer, within reason.

I think it's pretty much unanimous here that it was ridiculous of the OP's friend to comment or demand an explanation, and the frequency to me sounds entirely normal.
Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: The 'I Accomplished Something Today!' Thread
« Last post by snowfire on April 21, 2018, 09:24:52 PM »
DH & I replaced about 50 feet of sprinkler controller wire at my Mom's rental house & buried it. Also replaced 1 sprinkler head and got the sprinklers turned on for the season. Sprayed weed killer on the weeds in the driveway & sidewalk & put a wheel on the big gate. (It really should be two half width gates but I'm not ready to do THAT much surgery!) I'm stiff & sore because I tripped and fell but a glass of wine, 2 aspirin and some kitty therapy help.
59 general / Re: When you gotta go, you gotta go
« Last post by LonniesMom on April 21, 2018, 08:11:38 PM »
Okay, let me put it another way. My friend and I go to the movies. We are close enough to know that anything larger than a small drink will send her to the bathroom multiple times during the 2 hour movie. There is no need for her to order a gallon of coke in that time period, but she does anyway because she wants to. An hour into the movie, she has to disturb multiple people in the row to get in and out and possibly again before the movie ends. Is it wrong for me to be annoyed about the multiple disruptions that wouldn't have occurred had they ordered a smaller drink? Is it rude of me to not want to go to the movies with her because of her unthoughtfulness towards the rest of the cinema? Why does her desire to have a huge drink outweigh my desire to watch a movie undisturbed?

Or...we're going on a roadtrip. It should take about 4 hours. Just before we leave, you drink a 20oz coffee knowing that it will run through you. Half an hour down the road, we to need to pull over so you can go. Repeat every 30 minutes for the next couple of hours. Instead of 4 hours, it's now closer to 5 because of all the rest stops. On the return journey, is it selfish of me to request you don't drink such a huge coffee just before we leave? How is that more selfish than if you to drink the coffee, knowing that we'll have to stop multiple times and make the drive longer?

These are conscious decisions that people make, medical issues are not. If you make a conscious decision (ie drinking that gallon of water) that starts affecting my life in what I perceive as a negative way, why is it wrong of me to bring it up to see if it's something that can change? Would you prefer me to just stop going out with you without telling you why? Should I seethe silently everytime it happens? How often on here do people recommend talking to try and fix interpersonal issues? Why would this be any different?

You are correct and I see now what you mean with these examples. I did overreact and take it a bit personally. I apologize.
60 general / Re: When you gotta go, you gotta go
« Last post by Bales on April 21, 2018, 07:44:11 PM »
LonniesMom, it seems to me you're taking Mary Lennox's comments personally.  I think her comments and her perspective is valid.  You may not.  But I feel like you're stretching it beyond what her intent is based on your own personal lens that you're reading it through.  To me, it's akin to the original OP's friend assuming another friend may wonder what she is doing in the bathroom - it takes a fact (that OP used the restroom a few times) and extends an illogical conclusion to that fact.  In this case, I think you're reading too much into another poster's statements. 
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