« Last post by Take2 on Yesterday at 09:32:40 PM »
She brought over her family and 3 of her guests, leaving about 5-6 guests back at the party. When I expressed surprise, she replied she trusts them in her home and I let that drop.
It is not that Jane had no food at her parties, it is just that she had scant food and it seems like the $1 party pizzas get burnt while prepping drinks and then there are only a few. And people bring queso or other dip, but there is one bag of chips for 20 guests. And somebody brings a dessert, but it's one dessert for 20 people. She makes sure there is plenty to drink, as that is more of a priority for her. At my house, we provide an overabundance of food and drink, because that is how we like to host and because we get sucked in when planning and decide, ooh, we should make those in chocolate AND caramel flavor and ooh, we should make extras of the calzones because they'll be easier for the little kids. Before you know it, we have food and drink for 60 instead of 30.
Hmmm described almost precisely what happened. Jane called...and there was a football game going on and kids playing and adults chatting and I said sure, come on over. I never dreamed "we" could include anyone but Jane and her kids. I mean, she could have been bringing a trained circus bear or a biker gang, but I assumed if she meant anything else, she would include the relevant details like every other conversation I have ever had with anyone ever before. My 8yo son wouldn't even try that trick! So I told DH Jane and kids were coming and he made a sympathetic comment about her party having fizzled. Then he opened the door and wasn't sure if I knew Jane was bringing the others or not...but he wasn't going to slam the door in their face and make a scene. They were in the house for 10 minutes, and each minute was more odd than the one before as the story played out. But remember, I still have adult and child guests, playing, conversations and a football game going on. If I had it to do over again, I wouldn't boot these people out of my house and cause a scene.
If I could have told the future, and known to ask if she was bringing extra people, if her party was still going on, and if she planned to scarf a plate and retreat, I would have told her that wouldn't work for me. But in almost any case on the planet, those very questions would be incredibly rude, as they presume a level of rudeness that is over the top, right? "OK, but who exactly are you bringing?? And are you deserting other guests at your house? Will you stay and visit a while, or will you still be chewing as you run for the door for the land speed record of party attendance?"