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  • March 31, 2015, 08:19:00 PM

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Techno-quette / Re: Shutting down group texts
« Last post by Mommyoops on Today at 05:15:49 PM »
Just wondering if after you respond if deleting the text would work?
Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: DECLUTTERING
« Last post by TootsNYC on Today at 05:10:45 PM »
thanks, Jayhawk! I'm inordinately proud of it.
Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: DECLUTTERING
« Last post by jayhawk on Today at 05:09:49 PM »
Oh--I want to brag about my new decluttering tool.

My DD is away at college. Lots of the stuff is hers.

So I created a Facebook album that's private to her and me. And I can easily drop pictures into it from my iPod Touch. So I take a picture of something and put it in that album w/ a note, and ask her to just comment "keep / defer / toss."

We'll see if she actually does it now!

All In A Day's Work / Re: Bringing a baby to a work lunch
« Last post by bopper on Today at 05:08:59 PM »
How many people attend?  if you have a bunch of people and get a rectangular table, but boss and Suzy at one end and the guest of honor at the other and there will naturally be two conversations.
All In A Day's Work / Re: An irritating co-worker
« Last post by bopper on Today at 05:04:58 PM »
I wouldn't worry terribly  much about being friendly. Just don't be nasty.

I'd be so tempted to say, "Bob, leave me alone."

Or when he says, "do you want coffee," always answer, "Bob, did you  need something specific from me?" Or, "Did you need something work-related from me?" And when he says no, say, "OK, good," and walk off. Go to the bathroom if you need to. Or, if you are at your desk, say, "I need to get back to work. Please don't interrupt."  (don't say "please don't interrupt me"--use the "don't interrupt" bcs it's less personal; it makes it be about his actions interrupting, and not about his impact on you)

I think part of the issue is that he is in a completely different company and has no reason (except she seems like a nice person) to interact with her at all.
56 general / Re: Roommate's smelly cat
« Last post by IWish on Today at 05:04:19 PM »

I'm getting a little concerned about this cat.  The broken tooth could be rotting and hurting her/him.

Me too! Especially since it's forced to eat food right on top of rotting food (different bowls, but still) and right next to smelly litter. Your roomie is totally clueless (best scenario) and not a good pet owner. How would she like it if her dining room was also her (unflushed for a week) bathroom? Please help train her, for both the poor cat's sake and yours. No way as owner of the house would I put up with this.
All In A Day's Work / Re: An irritating co-worker
« Last post by bopper on Today at 05:03:56 PM »
On Ehell, we've talked about certain cultures where it isn't considered polite to say yes the first time.  The asker asks at least three times, the receiver says no twice, then agrees.  if you don't want it, you have to say no at least three times.  (We have also talked about how exceedingly annoying this is to those of us who were serious the first time.  :-) )  It may be that your co-worker thinks you are just being polite in refusing the first couple of offers.  Even if he isn't, you can pretend he is.  "Colleague, you may think that I'm being polite by turning down your offers, and that you have to ask a couple of times.  You don't need to do that.  If I want coffee, I'll say yes the first time."

 "Colleague, you may think that I'm being polite by turning down your offers, and that you have to ask a couple of times.  You don't need to do that.  If I want coffee, I'll get it myself."
Not so much a deal breaker, as when I recognised that there hadn't been friendship for years.

I'd known a couple when we lived in the same city. We moved away at the same time and they ended up about an hour and a half's drive away. We'd been part of a close group then, but things did gradually get less close. I'm terrible about keeping in touch and I think their lives got busy with children. We would swop news each year in Christmas letters

Last year I was diagnosed with a cancer, so had to have chemo and radiotherapy followed by an operation. There'd been no particular reason to let them know and I'd just been going to mention it in my Christmas letter.

My city holds a big event at the beginning of December and I'd volunteered to help out one day

That week they got in touch to say unexpectedly they had the Saturday free so were coming to my city for the big event and could we meet to catch up. They knew I'd be helping, so it would be a question of maybe half an hour at most. I was pleased as it would be nice to see them, but slightly worried about what to say about the cancer. It's rather a conversation killer in reply to "how are you?" or "what have you been doing lately". On the other hand if I didn't mention it wouldn't they find that strange when I sent the Christmas letter?

I needn't have been concerned. In that half hour the conversation was non-stop about them and people I'd never heard of, without any questions about me. It was vaguely pleasant to catch up, but that was the point when I realised that that friendship had died several years ago and we were really just acquaintances. I don't blame them. As I say, I'm bad at keeping in touch and perhaps if I'd put in more effort it would still be there. I'm slightly sad for what is gone, but I'd not want to resurrect it.
Thanks for the replies everyone. I'll have to sit down and read them all properly but to answer a few questions:

- yes she definitely sold the change table I gave her and not her old one. The advertisement had a picture

- I consider her to be a friend but not a really close friend. We're in the same friendship circle and we catch up for lunch and coffee, but I don't confide in her. We've been friends for about 5 years.

- When she mentioned my advertisement and that she needed a new change table it was done nicely and respectfully. It didn't cross my mind not to offer it to her as this is what my group does. On that note though, we're generous and considerate with not only giving items but after we've received them too. The norm is to pass along the items again for free once we're done with them. Baby/child items will often go around a few people in the group. If nobody else needs it then its the norm for the person to offer it for free outside the group or give it back to the original owner. I think this is another reason why its left a bad taste in my mouth. Again, I know the change table is now hers and she is within her rights to sell it though.

- Money wise she and I (and the rest of the group) are all pretty middle of the road. Our partners have basic jobs which are steady and provide an income, and she and I both work part time. Both our families have bills, mortgages and expenses though. I know that $35 would have really helpd her out, but it was really needed in my household too. This is one of the reasons why my friendship group is so good about sharing our baby/child items, it relieves the financial pressure on us all.

Side note: I mentioned what happened to my best friend who's also part of the same friendship group. She was aghast and thought I was joking at first. She sat in silence when she realised I was serious and didn't know what to say. It goes that much against what we usually do. As we chatted we both realised though that this friend is quite good at taking items but very slow at passing anything on. We'd just never realised before....

Did you "like" her boarding comment?  :P

haha! I didn't but I should!  >:D 

I was tempted to say something, anything...but then I realized that anything I say would come off snarky. And I do have to deal with her in the future, so I can't be rude! lol

Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it!

We're such bad influences

YES! Do it! If not for you, for all of us!

This shows how little she thinks of you, your son, and her dogs. (As others have said, if the "kennel induced trauma" is to be believed.) This is all the ammo you need to NEVER put her whims first.
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