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  • July 30, 2015, 03:24:26 AM

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61
I wonder if the sister even remembered that Sarah was the mistress when she and hub picked the name.  She unlikely held on to the name the same way the sister did.  She might not have even thought about it.

I remember the name of the girl my ex was starting to more or less date right be before we divorced.  He was well on his way to cheating with her.  Her name was Candi - with an i.  There's likely not a sole in my family who knows that.  I don't even remember the name of the first woman he cheated on me with - wait, I mean the second...
62

This was not test, but the brainlessnes of this quality of question vs. wanted answer irritated me beyond any measure when I was child (maybe in elementary school). I had borrowed several "detective" books from library. Such that have those "here are the facts, now it's for you to deduct what happened, who is telling truth, who is not". And one had pictures, the question was something in the line "did Jack fall from the tree and break his arm or did John hit him". And the explanation was something like "Jack could not have been in the apple tree as he did not have resin in his shirts, as you can see from the picture." Picture in question was drawn, and such that it was mainly outlines, no shading, no coloring, more of a doodle of two guys and a tree. :D

Resin?  In an apple tree?  I climbed apple trees as a child, and I never had a problem with anything except ordinary dirt.  Resin is usually  pine sap.  John's defense attorney would easily get this case thrown out of court.

Yes, this is something I was thinking now as I wrote it too. Didn't catch it as kid. I'm also slightly wondering if I remember that part wront, it's been ~20 years after all, and if it talked only about dirt or something like that. Though I do have quite strong memory about it being resin. I have memory that in addition that I was thinking that such underdetailed picture wouldn't show a random spot on a shirt, I feel like I was thinking that it would also be very possible that he just didn't get any on his shirt, it's not like trees (definitely not apple trees as hindsight, but even those trees that generally might leave resing marks on you) are fully covered in it.

The real question is, if John broke his arm, why is he standing there instead of being rushed off to the hospital in an ambulance?  Of course, I also can't quite imagine a kid of roughly the same size hitting another kid in such as way as to break his arm.  Maybe twisting his arm behind his back, but hitting him?

Actually, it's fairy easy for a child to break a bone just after or during a growth spurt.  I think I broke something shortly after every large growth spurt I had...but I was one of those fearless daredevil children.   :P
I broke my arm when my older, heavier male cousin fell on me when we were playing tip. I was a loud, boisterous child too.
That question reminds me of the Encyclopedia Brown novels. The solution was just so strange that I wonder if they thought kids would get it.
63
Family and Children / Re: Friend admonishing my child
« Last post by PastryGoddess on Yesterday at 09:20:22 PM »
Could it be that Friend thinks DD is too old to need to be included?  That it was find when it was go out to lunch w/DD or use lunch $ on babysitter? But now that DD could stay home alone, Friend really wishes she would?

It's not friend's place to decide when OP's DD should stay home alone.  Did you miss the part where the OP and her DD already had this outing planned and were inviting the friend along?  If she "wishes DD would stay home", she is free to decline the invitation but it would be extremely rude to expect OP to disinvite her daughter.

I find that in these threads some people twist themselves in knots to blame the situation on the child or the child's presence.  Take away the fact that she is 13 for a second.  If I call and invite you to join my friend Sally and I for lunch, and it's clear that Sally has already been invited, do you get to "wish that Sally would stay home" and make that clear by being rude to Sally at the lunch?  Of course not, that's just obnoxious and rude.  Your choices at that point are to decline the invitation or accept and be polite to Sally.  If you would like to hang out with me and not Sally in the future, you can invite me only.  (Which the OP has already explained that she does not bring her DD along uninvited).  Really, it's like OP can't win here.  People are suggesting that she leave her DD home every single time that she sees this friend, on the off chance that friend doesn't like teenagers, even though friend has never said anything like that.  That is just unreasonable.

Friend is being rude, and whether or not she likes teenagers doesn't come into play here.  If you don't like teenagers, don't accept invitations when you know teenagers are included.  That's on you.

No, I didn't miss the invite setup nor do I think Friend isn't being rude.  I still think Friend might have been forgiving of a little kid but now doesn't want to with a teen though. And why she's being rude would impact what I advised the OP to say.

"Forgiving" her for what? Existing?  ??? The OP's DD is behaving (obeying her mom) and Friend has complete control over whether to spend time with her, since DD does not come along unless invited and Friend is told in advance if she is invited to join plans OP and DD have together. What is there to forgive?

Forgiving of behavior Friend views as childish.  Not the food incidents necessarily, but the wading in the creek or chin on shoulder.

The word forgiving bothers me.  There is nothing to forgive.  DD has not done anything wrong. 


If friend would rather not hang out with DD, that's fine.  But friend needs to say no when she is invited to specifically socialize with OP and DD.  But to accept an invitation that expressly includes DD and then treat DD so rudely is beyond the pale. OP and her DD have a specific way of communicating with one another.  There is no right or wrong involved.  If friend doesn't like it, then friend can make the decision to remove herself from the situation or limit interaction with OP and DD
64
Humor Me! / Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Last post by Elfmama on Yesterday at 09:20:00 PM »
One of my chickens died over the weekend when they were loose in the yard*. By the time I found her, tucked behind the woodpile, she was all rigor mortis'ed (and covered with ants; all praise to The Sweetie for fetching rubber gloves for me).

I turned her over a few times, looking for injuries. Despite her stiffness, her head kept flopping over. So I sort of gently wobbled her head, trying to figure out "Is her neck broken? Is this normal dead-chicken-neck-floppiness?"

It took a few days for me to appreciate the picture: Turn chicken *head flomp* turn chicken *head flomp* turn chicken *head flomp* grip head, let head go *head flomp*


*I think from the heat. I've installed a mister in the pen, and they're going to stay there until it gets back under 100F (38C).
That's also "Really shouldn't laugh at this..."  ;D
65
Family and Children / Re: Friend admonishing my child
« Last post by sammycat on Yesterday at 09:19:18 PM »
I think sometimes, particularly on a discussion board, people try to come up with explanations for rude behavior not because they are trying to excuse it, but because understanding the root cause of it can sometimes help with making it go away. And/or knowing what's really going on helps someone decide how they want to react to it.


That's one way of looking at it but when people post only things like "perhaps you should leave your kid home" or "could it be that she doesn't want to hang out with a teenager" without addressing the rudeness of the friend at all, that sure sounds like excusing rudeness to my ears.

You are right though that knowing the reason would help the OP know how to move forward. 

I just think people are jumping to one possible reason with no real evidence to back that up. 

If I found out that my friend never wanted to be in the same room as my child, that would in fact help me proceed.  If I were a single mother with limited time to see my child, I would not stop taking my child out for breakfast nor would I cut that back really.  I would just stop inviting friend.  Especially since OP has already clarified that she sees friend plenty without her child.  It's not like she is never willing to do childfree outings. 

I think other explanations are more likely however. 

The way I would proceed without knowing the reasons would be to ask friend, in private, to stop correcting my child when I have already specifically allowed a certain behavior.  The door is then open for friend to try to explain her reasons if she wishes but I think jumping to "you obviously just don't want my child there" would be way over the top and not the right way to handle the issue.

I agree, especially with the bolded. I personally don't think it has anything to do with the daughter or her age at all. IMO it's all down to Friend wanting to exert her authority over someone else in the misguided belief that her way is the only way. I think she's just plain rude, and trying to blame the daughter for simply being present or for her (totally normal and acceptable) actions is blaming the victim.
66
Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Last post by PastryGoddess on Yesterday at 09:17:12 PM »
You need to remember, the ads pay for the site.  If there were no ads we'd all have to pay to visit here. 

I loathe pop-up ads, but I've never seen any here,  I don't mind the ads at the top of every page that keep the board free for us to visit.

The PP were mentioning on other sites, not ehell.


You know, I don't quite get those 'ads in response to surfing'. I bought something from Keepsake Quilting, and just about every time I log in, here comes the ad for it! I bought all I need, folks, I have no interest in buying more!
Ditto for the pants and underwear I ordered, and the quilting supplies from Craftsy. I wish there were some way that they could know that I've ordered, so that they'd decrease the ads for a couple of months.

The original post that started it was talking about ads for this site. But yeah you can use AdBlock selectively
If you're referring to my post, I said 'Just about every time I log in, here comes the ad'
Not 'just about every time I log in here'. The ad shows up on other sites other than E-hell.

Yes I was.  I thought you just meant this site. I think the log in part threw me off. 

Thanks for the clarification
67
Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: Vacation Hills to Die On - What's yours?
« Last post by PastryGoddess on Yesterday at 09:15:28 PM »
DH and I are going to be visiting a few national parks and monuments in the southwest next month. He chose the location and I made the arrangements. These places are out of the way but popular and I didn't get an early enough start on the planning. We will be staying at four different lodgings as we travel around.  All I have to go by are the websites and reviews but the first lodging should be nice enough. The second is less nice than the first, the third less nice than the second, and the fourth looks like the kind of place you'd stay if you had no other choice which I didn't.

I'm trying to think of this as an adventure and hope that DH will do the same but I am a little worried that DH will find motel #4 his hill to die on and he will opt to sleep in the car instead.



I'm not sure where you are staying, but sometimes with those places it helps to keep calling around to see if there are any vacancies that open up at the last minute. It's not ideal, but I was able to get into Yellowstone that way. 
68
Family and Children / Re: Friend admonishing my child
« Last post by sammycat on Yesterday at 09:10:24 PM »
I am somewhat surprised at the responses on this. I wouldn't think twice if someone's child did this in front of me; I certainly wouldn't read it as possessiveness or a deliberate attempt to pull the parent's focus.

Nor would I. And I'm not a parent myself.

I wouldn't think twice about it either, and I am a parent. Come to think of it, I've seen this behaviour happen more with 2 adults than with a child doing it, so if Friend thinks this is 'childish' behaviour she needs to think again.
69
Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: Vacation help- south of England/West Country
« Last post by rain on Yesterday at 09:05:27 PM »
How cool - I'm going to be watching this thread as DS wants to go next summer.

70
Family and Children / Re: Friend hurt at sister's choice of name for daughter
« Last post by Surianne on Yesterday at 09:04:54 PM »
I can't even imagine how much it would hurt to be cheated on by a husband.  I think if I were the sister, I'd reconsider the name. 
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