News: IT'S THE 2ND ANNUAL GUATEMALA LIBRARY PROJECT BOOK DRIVE!    LOOKING FOR DONATIONS OF SCIENCE BOOKS THIS YEAR.    Check it out in the "Extending the Hand of Kindness" folder or here: http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=139832.msg3372084#msg3372084   

  • March 23, 2017, 09:49:50 PM

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61
I am the same way, and while I know I've gotten better, I still find myself trying to just keep talking, without letting anyone else do the same!

But, I realize I do this, as do you, and that's the first step. I think all of the above suggestions are good; i esp. like the tennis ball example, i'm going to try and remember that for myself.
62
Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: Internet Based Side Gigs
« Last post by oogyda on Today at 01:50:37 PM »
I think this might be more suited for the Coffee Break folder.

I use eBates and Raise, often in combination with each other. I also took the time to learn the ins and outs of the cash back options available on my credit cards and take advantage whenever possible. Nerd Wallet is a great resource for learning about that. I also got a nice bonus for opening a new checking account last year, if you're in the market for that it pays to do the research as to which bank is offering the best incentives.

In my experience the trade off is privacy, complexity and time (shopping can become quite a headache if you let it) and the occasional "gotcha" when things don't work out as you anticipated due to misunderstood terms or some other fine print.

Regarding the bolded:  That particular money earning hint has brought in quite a bit of cash for me. 

It started with opening an account for Oogydh to use for his work vehicle.  It was easier to keep track of his gas purchases for reimbursement if that was the only thing on that card.  The new card offered points.    It made me look at the only other credit card we used and had been using for 2 decades.....it didn't offer points, so we opened an account that does.  Every couple of years, I have the cash value of the points applied to the balance.

Since we have excellent credit, we frequently receive offers for bonus points with a minimum purchase and interest free for a year or more.  Using these offers to buy planned major purchases, I have "made"  (I have the cash value applied to the balance) about $1100.  50,000 bonus points (translates to $500) if I spent $3000 within the first 3 months.....we did that one when we bought all new appliances for our new house. 

One must have discipline when doing this, though. I think the credit card companies put out these promotions on the hope that someone is careless. I use the card for it's pre-planned purpose, apply the points and pay the rest off within the interest free period and never use it again. 
63
Playing devil's advocate here - I see some good intentions here, but the execution is lacking. Like Marnie's Thanksgiving letter, this was probably created to solve problems but will now live on in Internet infamy.

1. They are trying to restrict the number of gifts, which can overwhelm an infant/toddler, but restricting the list to grandparents and aunts/uncles is the problem.

2. They gave a list of what they would like him to have, but again, in the execution of it, it comes across badly. Then when they talked about other things that could be bought, they put restrictions on it. Again, good idea but bad execution (and a bit greedy, in the wording about why they want receipts.)

3. The restriction of the list to one and only one book - they explain that he already has tons of books, and he doesn't like to be read to. Maybe they are trying to see if having a book with interaction (Cheerios book) will help get him interested - but again, bad execution in this letter.

About the only thing I can't defend is the personalization demand. The #1 thing that leads to child abduction? Nope honey, that would be letting relatives have access to the child - the vast majority of child abductions in the US are performed by relatives or other people that the child knows. So no, your 1 year old (who still probably has to be carried around in your arms) is not in danger because he's wearing a onesie that says Ryleigh on it.

I so agree with this.  The ridiculousness of parents trying to avoid child abduction - please take a breath.  Watch your children, teach your children and use some common sense for heaven's sake. 

The odds of a random abduction are 300,000 to 1; with all the media fear mongering there are genuinely only about 100 child kidnappings by strangers in the United States annually. http://www.pollyklaas.org/about/national-child-kidnapping.html?referrer=https://www.google.com/

The letter sounds like a demanding special snowflake set of parents period.
64
Family and Children / Re: Uncles cancer, and strained family relations
« Last post by lmyrs on Today at 01:47:07 PM »
If my husband was dying and I was working full time to support us, I can't imagine how absolutely horrid it would be to come home to a house full of people who can't stand me and have no qualms about it.

You say you can see Cindy's side, but can you really? Because you're bashing her pretty hard here. Regardless of her perceived moral failings, her husband is dying and his family hate her guts. I can't imagine why she doesn't want them around all the time...

Cindy is a drunk. Cindy dumped them into bankruptcy. Your parents and your uncle had to bail them out because of Cindy. Is it any wonder that she isn't super keen to have you around?
65
Life...in general / Re: Private Visitation for Funeral?
« Last post by camlan on Today at 01:23:26 PM »
As  for the items for the memorial table, if the OP was so closely related to the deceased to be in the private room with immediate family, and to be told not to sign the guest book, then my take is that she is also closely related enough (child of the deceased, sibling of the deceased, perhaps?) to bring something for the memorial table. And it seems that once she was told the items were "inappropriate" she didn't push the issue or demand that the items be put on the table. So I don't see anything to violate etiquette there. It's not as if she were some random work colleague or neighbor who wanted to take up a portion of the memorial table. And news clippings about the deceased and a book written by the deceased also seem like fairly appropriate memorial items.
66
Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: S/O Beggars, Moochers and Scammers
« Last post by GardenGal on Today at 01:21:19 PM »
Who in the eHell would bother to forge a $1 bill?

Edward Mueller. Really interesting story: http://www.nydailynews.com/news/crime/finding-mr-880-case-1-counterfeit-article-1.109016

Fascinating story - thanks for the link!
67
Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: Special Snowflakes Redux - play nice!
« Last post by GardenGal on Today at 01:14:21 PM »
Some places take asking for ID before serving liquor very seriously.  A couple of years ago I was flying with my then 92-year old MIL, and a restaurant in the Chicago airport asked for her ID.  We thought they were kidding, but they weren't. 
68
There's currently an ongoing situation in South Africa where hundreds of married women who opted (on the marriage registration forms) to keep their maiden names have been finding out that the Department of Home Affairs changed their names anyway (over their wishes). The women only found out last month when they went to vote in the municipal elections and found out that they were registered under the wrong names. Now the Dept is insisting that the women obviously didn't know how to fill out the form correctly so its their fault, silly little darlings that they obviously are (not actual wording, but heavily implied in tone).  There's a lawyer gathering a list of cases to start trying to take legal action.

 :o

Wow!

Thanks for mentioning it. I'll look up that story and follow it as the lawsuit progresses!

update from friend who lodged case:

#Marriednames is a greater victory than I thought.

The Department of Home Affairs has agreed, not only to change back the names of affected women and help them to get new birth certificates for their children if needs be, but they have also undertaken to:

* train staff to address bias or preconceived notions;

* include a compulsory “chosen name” tab on its system;

* disallow the “default” option (woman takes husband’s surname); and

* If Part C (surname) part of marriage form is incomplete, officials have a duty to follow up with individuals.

Great! Thanks for the update.
69
There's currently an ongoing situation in South Africa where hundreds of married women who opted (on the marriage registration forms) to keep their maiden names have been finding out that the Department of Home Affairs changed their names anyway (over their wishes). The women only found out last month when they went to vote in the municipal elections and found out that they were registered under the wrong names. Now the Dept is insisting that the women obviously didn't know how to fill out the form correctly so its their fault, silly little darlings that they obviously are (not actual wording, but heavily implied in tone).  There's a lawyer gathering a list of cases to start trying to take legal action.

 :o

Wow!

Thanks for mentioning it. I'll look up that story and follow it as the lawsuit progresses!

update from friend who lodged case:

#Marriednames is a greater victory than I thought.

The Department of Home Affairs has agreed, not only to change back the names of affected women and help them to get new birth certificates for their children if needs be, but they have also undertaken to:

* train staff to address bias or preconceived notions;

* include a compulsory “chosen name” tab on its system;

* disallow the “default” option (woman takes husband’s surname); and

* If Part C (surname) part of marriage form is incomplete, officials have a duty to follow up with individuals.
70
Family and Children / Re: Uncles cancer, and strained family relations
« Last post by IWish on Today at 12:54:28 PM »
I can understand why Cindy wants all the relatives out of her house when she gets home from work. The love of her life has a short time left on this earth, and she has little alone time with him because she has to work. The last thing I would want is a house full of people when I got home, as well meaning as they may be. Add in discordant relationships and it would be even worse. However, Cindy's manner of communicating her feelings was no doubt tactless and hurtful.

The family members are doing Jeff (and Cindy) a great service by helping out during the day but maybe they could be a bit more sensitive to what Cindy must be going through.

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