News: There is a new Ehell Kindness Project!  Check it out in the "Extending the Hand of Kindness" folder or here:   

  • May 30, 2016, 02:13:18 AM

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The question is, will corporate do something or reply with the standard "we can't control what a franchisee does" letter which will (hopefully) absolve them from blame when things like this result in a lawsuit...

Corporate would be wise to respond.  If one of its franchises kills someone, it's going to affect the bottom line of the entire group.
Thank you guys for your advise. I got through the rehearsal dinner mostly unscathed. It's actually mid reception now, but this is the part where I had to leave for a little bit. They are serving food that is unsafe for me to be around. There is actually a safe zone for me but there were some issues that caused my dinner to inadvertently not be there. Oh well. I'm went to a restaurant that is safe for me and will return when I'm done eating.

I have to tell you what happened, though my food just arrived , so I will do so tomorrow. This woman flat out hates me, it seems.

Forgive my ignorance, but what do you mean by a safe zone from tacos? How are they unsafe for you to be around? I can understand that from someone who has a severe bee allergy, but food? This dumbfounds me. Also, where would you have eaten the Chinese food (had it been ordered) or the food you were going to bring from home at the reception? Was there a personal place set aside for your consumption at the reception? I don't get it.
I am annoyed at a couple of my Facebook friends who repost "outrage-causing" viral stuff on Facebook that has no particular proof attached, but often is a picture of a person or a license plate. I think it would be way way too easy for somebody to defame somebody they didn't like by attaching an anecdote to an out of context picture. For instance, taking a picture of a dog in a car and claiming "the owners left this dog in the car on a hot day for hours!" People see the picture, take it as proof, and repost it. I recently saw one that was a older and a younger woman having lunch, the younger woman with her phone out, and this whole story was attached about how the younger woman was a paid carer who was ignoring her client to text on her phone, etc etc...ok maybe but literally all we are seeing is one picture, and it makes me super uncomfortable to give identifying info attached to a negative story with no *actual* proof other than assumptions.

Almost a year ago your 2nd example could have been me - except with kids not an adult. I had my niece and nephew for the day. Niece had just gotten back from sleepaway camp. They aren't allowed digital anything - but are allowed disposable film cameras. (Part of the thinking is that since a grown up has to see the pictures to develop them there is less likelihood of inappropriate pictures being taken to bully people plus they can't be posted while at camp).  I had promised Niece we would drop off the cameras to be developed. SIs and I assumed the place they had been purchased would be able to send them out to be developed (they print digital photographs) but we were wrong. So when we stopped for lunch, I got out my Ipad to search for some place that could develop the pictures. I got some snarky comments about how I was being paid to babysit (the person must of overheard me say something about checking with Mom and Dad about a water park) and should be reported. My nephew outraged told them I wasn't being paid and we were trying to find someplace that developed film. All delivered with a mild lisp - which I think added to the shock value.
Humor Me! / Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Last post by TootsNYC on Yesterday at 07:10:38 PM »
My big brother also thought it was a one-time thing. He'd gone to school; he thought it was over.

Me, I was told, when I was impatient about learning to read, that I'd learn when I started going to school. I went the first day, and came home to announce that I wasn't going back. Mom asked why, and I said, "You told me they'd teach me to read. They didn't." I wasn't going to waste my time on them--no second chances!

I already knew how to read when I started first grade.  (no pre-school or kindergarten) I still remember the joy when the teacher passed out books, and the disappointment when I opened it and there were just pictures, no words.  What kind of rip-off joint was this place? 

Never quite trusted school after that.   :D

My mother had a short story she'd clipped to save about a little girl who was so excited to go to school so she could read exciting books like her big brothers & sisters, and her parents. She sort of could read a little bit, and then they learned on worksheets.
    And the first time they handed her a book, is was "See wingadingdingy and Jane," and she was livid at being given this boring book. So when she was asked to stand and read aloud, she did it really dramatically ("Run, Jane! Run, wingadingdingy!") and got the kids all worked up, and she got sent home.
That sounds like a brilliant result, mmswm!

OK, not that Diane is behaving like a petulant five-year-old, but if you're like me I can totally cope with the silent treatment (and dagger-looks have me fighting away the giggles), and would much rather that than any amount of sniping and under-breath comments.  You being a magnanimous grown-up around Diane's childishness will only emphasise her need to grow up and reflects very well on you.

I'm glad Robert saw first hand several instances of Diane's pettiness, as having your partner fully aware of what's going on is a great help [and stops you worrying that they might think you're exaggerating/making it up].

And, erm, sort-of congratulations?  ;D
Family and Children / Re: Problems with SIL and our family unit
« Last post by TootsNYC on Yesterday at 05:59:05 PM »
This is complex because of the Alzheimer's aspect. You don't mention how SIL knows MIL is paying for both of you or how she pays, or if MIL joins you in going out for dinner but can you stop the information train with respect to the annual birthday dinner? Instead of it being about both of you being covered, make it about the amount she decide years ago that she normally contributes for his birthday dinner. is; she established this precedent years ago and the amount is in keeping with what she declared she wanted to spend on his birthday. Whether is covers an extagagant dinner for him alone or something less so for both of you is not her affair.

It probably is her affair; she's on the checkbook, and she (not the OP's DH) has power of attorney.
I like my drinks cold but donít have enough space to store in the fridge, so there's an ice tray in the freezer. I use a straw to drink so the ice donít get in the way or hurt my teeth.
Family and Children / Re: Problems with SIL and our family unit
« Last post by TootsNYC on Yesterday at 05:50:26 PM »
I totally get why you think each household (and not individual) should pay the same amount for the cleaning lady.

Because cleaning the bathroom of two people's accumulated "grime" is really no more work than cleaning it from one person. It doesn't take longer to wipe down the sink when 2 people have been using it than when only 1 has. Maybe when you get up to 4...
   And one of the reasons you get married is to combine expenses.

(it reminds me of the laundry frustration I have in my co-op. All expenses are covered on a per-load basis. But the rental of the machine isn't charged per load, the way electricity is. That cost will be the same whether I do laundry or not--and when other people do less laundry, they want to charge me more. I truly believe it would be fairer to split the rental between evenly between households.)

I guess the big problem is, are you thinking of SIL as "part of MIL's household," or "her own household." She doesn't live downstairs w/ MIL. So she's in your household, and she's thinking of herself as a roommate to 2 other people.

I don't know if you'll ever get her to see it that way--a couple of people here don't see it that way. But I can see why you do.

perhaps your only argument is: Because this involves money, it's a business matter. You and your DH are legally a single business entity--it's a matter, actually of contract law. And so you pay from your household.
   When you were splitting it with MIL, you didn't pay per-person; you paid per-household, and that's the way it should continue. Since she is not in your household (not being married to either of your, nor your dependent child), and she is not in MIL's household (not living downstairs with her), she is her own business entity.

Now--if the price went up because the third person joined, then your supplier is essentially charging you a per-person rate, and I would say it should be divided on that basis.

But what we all think (which, as I noted, is not all the same anyway) doesn't matter; you can know that some people agree with you, but that's not going to help you.

CAME BACK TO SAY:  I see that she uses the bathroom upstairs--not the master bath (which you and DH use), but the main one. Which normally you and DH don't use. You certainly don't shower there. Your guests may use it, but hers would too.
   That might be one way to frame the cleaning fees as 1/3 hers. She uses 1/3 of the bathrooms in the house. MIL & caregiver use the downstairs bath; you and DH use the master bath, and SIL uses the upstairs main bathroom. That's an indicator of the fact that you and DH are a unit (you share a bathroom, which is the same to clean w/ 2 people as with 1).

AND MORE TO ADD:  Here's how the kitchen ends up being household and not individual: If you cook a meal for you and DH, you dirty one pan for two meals. Sure, two place settings--but only one frying pan, only one saucepan. Leftovers go in one container, not two.
   To me that's proof that a household ought to be able to count as a single expense. Inside that household unit, who contributes what is a private matter.

I ordered the kit today from Ancestry. It may not answer all my questions, but hopefully it'll point me in the right direction.

And coincidentally, just after I first posted in here, I got a message from a fifth or sixth cousin about a common ancestor.
I'd be tempted to give your youngest a notebook full of the absolute hardest math problems.  If she starts in on him, he can tell her he needs help with his homework.  Give her a pencil and let her go at it.

*snork*  She wouldn't even recognize what I could come up with even as math, let alone know how to solve the problems.  I know I can get both the standard and greek alphabets into a single problem that my youngest would understand.  They're still pretty basic, but some variables are just always stated using greek letters.  That could be fun.  Tempting.  Very tempting.  But I am trying to keep Evil and Snarky caged for this wedding, so I probably shouldn't let them out to play even a little bit.

Yes but Evils and Snarkys need to be exercised on occasion or they'll never settle down and sleep in their crates...
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