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  • December 16, 2017, 10:43:36 PM

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61
I'd want to strike them off my invitation list, but for the sake of famly harmony I'd give themone more chance - and let them know that. Call M and remind her that she came the previous 2 years with a guest  she hadn't informed you about, who was rude to you.  And they came late.  And not always sober.  Therefore, they've got one more chance to show respect for you and the rest of the family, as you all want to have a stress-free holiday.

Tell her that she can bring A if he is polite and respectful, and if they haven't imbibed anything before coming.  Tell her that if they can't be there by 4pm they need to wait until after 5:30 to come, because coming during the dinner hour will inconvenience you.  Ask her to confirm if they plan to be there for dinner with a phone call the day before so you can plan accordingly. Tell her that if she doesn't call she and A are welcome to come after 5:30pm.

And if A is rude again, I'd call him on it on the spot, and not invite him again.  If they don't call but show up before 5:30 expecting dinner, don't let them in and just tell them "We're in the middle of dinner. As we talked about a few days ago, dinner was served at 4 and you were supposed to call me yesterday to confirm that you'd be here by 4 for dinner, and since you never called you are welcome to come back after 5:30 and join us then."

And I wouldn't invite them again.
62
First, has someone checked that this is a real need? We just had a scam in our town of a family looking for help.
Really people should try to go though existing programs when possible.

If someone set up the go fund me, then the friend should be asking...same reason we don't throw baby showers for ourselves.
63
Family and Children / Re: Have my stuff ... now I want it back.
« Last post by bopper on Yesterday at 04:27:31 PM »
I would give her the stuff in storage back.
If you had sold a couch so you could use her couch, I would have your DH say: "we took these items because you gave them to us. You never said it was temporary, so we sold our couch to use yours.  "
If you still have the old couch, I would just give it back.
64
Family and Children / Re: Remind me of the rules again – Invitations & Guests
« Last post by bopper on Yesterday at 04:24:30 PM »
Some ideas:

1) Talk to M and say that you want to let them know that dinner is served at 4pm...that in the last couple of years they have came late, which is fine, but then still expected dinner. At that point dinner will be put away and dessert will be out. Plan accordingly.

2) Depending on how you feel about "A"..."Also we noticed that you have brought a guest the last couple of years  without telling us...if you do bring A, then you have to let us know or there will not be any food planned for them. You can't come here, say "Who are you",2 hours late, and then demand  stuffing and potatoes that have been finished hours ago. You can ask if bringing a guest is okay, let me know by the RSVP date so I can plan food for them, and come at dinner time if you expect them to be accommodated.

Also how does M get told about the invitation? Do they personally get invited? Do they know about the dinner time?
65
Entertaining and Hospitality / Re: Round Robin / Progressive Hosting
« Last post by metallicafan on Yesterday at 04:24:01 PM »
Since your house is the last, what about sweet/ salty nibbles?
Bowls of mixed nuts, caramel/cheddar popcorn, sweet chex party mix. A big tray of fresh fruit, maybe with some chocolate to dip into. A cookie tray.
66
Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: Baby Names - You're kidding Right???
« Last post by pwv on Yesterday at 04:21:55 PM »
Kayleb

Kamilah
67
I don't think we know enough about the situation. Generally I don't like people asking for something for themselves. However, if she is a single parent who, because of the seriousness of her child's medical problem, has to spend so much time at the hospital that she can't get meals for other children, or isn't able to take care of everyday business in her personal life, then I would be okay with this. 
I've known a family who were in serious car accidents where more than one family member had extensive injuries. I've known people where a child was dying from leukemia and there was a long period of treatment.
It really depends on the circumstances.
68
So many times in situations like this people will say “Let me know how I can help.”  To me, this person is just letting people know how they can help. I don’t think it’s tacky.
69
Depends on how she reminded.

"We appreciate any meals you can provide in this difficult time" is OK to me.

"Send us meals" is tacky, but even then, it depends on how serious the situation is since worrying about your child can do a number on your brain.
70
It seems like A & M are viewed as a couple so I think it would make things uncomfortable if you told M not to bring him.

POD to others who have said that you (or your DH) should ask M if she plans to bring A this year.  Remind her that dinner is served at 4:30 and if she and A arrive after that there may not be a complete meal available to them as things tend to run out.

Also, you would not be rude to them if they show up under the influence of any substance to call them a cab and forbid them from entering your home.
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