News: IT'S THE 2ND ANNUAL GUATEMALA LIBRARY PROJECT BOOK DRIVE!    LOOKING FOR DONATIONS OF SCIENCE BOOKS THIS YEAR.    Check it out in the "Extending the Hand of Kindness" folder or here: http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=139832.msg3372084#msg3372084   

  • December 14, 2017, 10:43:34 PM

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71
Family and Children / Re: Have my stuff ... now I want it back.
« Last post by bah12 on Today at 01:03:43 PM »
It sounds like she believes she asked you to store them for her and not outright given them to you.  If there are items she wants to dispose of and you want to keep them, then you can just let her know.  "MIL, we treasure your china and would like to keep it in the family.  How much are you looking to sell it for?  I'll be happy to buy it!"

The things she wants you to return and use, just give back to her.  These things will likely come back to you again sometime in the future anyway.
72
Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: The 'I Accomplished Something Today!' Thread
« Last post by Dazi on Today at 12:42:13 PM »
Well, today has been kind of a lazy day. It's my first official day of winter break from school. I'm still waiting on one final grade, but I'm pretty darn confident that I pulled straight A's this semester. I have everything set to go for spring semester, though being the chronic overachiever I am, I will be double checking my list again.
73
Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: Thrift Score!
« Last post by siamesecat2965 on Today at 12:40:23 PM »
My almost 5 year old wants a jewelry box for her birthday.  I was trolling around the web and found someone selling a beautiful wooden one with a collection of vintage jewelry for ridiculously cheap.  I wrote to the seller and offered him what I could afford (and was willing to spend on a present for a 5 year old).  I let him know it was for her birthday.  He accepted my offer and said he'd fill it up with all sorts of "treasures". 

I went to pick it up and the box is solid wood, with arms that swing out to store necklaces, plus all the drawers to store rings, bracelets and other treasures.  The gentleman wasn't lying either; he loaded it up with brooches, necklaces, earrings, and rings.  Some of them were actual silver, and I think a strand of pearls is actually real (based on the weight of them).

My kid is going to be over the moon (although she's not going to get all the treasures at once; we'll portion some of them out for future presents), and this all cost me $20.

This is similar to something that happened to my mom. My grandmother's former landlord was a close family friend as well. He had a wooden silver chest he had built for his wife (who had passed away many years before). My mom said to him if he ever wanted to get rid of it, please let her know as she'd be interested in buying it. Well one day, he tells her she can have it.

So she brings it home, and its heavy! She opens it up, nad not only did he give her the chest, but his wife's silver too! She tried to give it back but he was having none of it. We still have it to this day.
74
Family and Children / Re: Have my stuff ... now I want it back.
« Last post by ClaireC79 on Today at 12:12:27 PM »
Did she GIVE them to you or did she want you to STORE them for her (but they remain hers) - could be simple miscommunication

The next time she asks for something (probably to give/throw away rather than the christmas ornaments which could have sentimental value) then ask her which it is
75
Life...in general / Re: Happened two weeks ago and still angry...
« Last post by Two Ravens on Today at 12:04:47 PM »
No, I donít agree with this. Hosting a kidís birthday party is generally exhausting. I wouldnít think anything of a general statement to that effect. The egregious action is the seemingly out-of-nowhere swipe at the OPs daughter.

Yes, the real issue is the swipe at the child.  However, I think laughtermed has a point.  The host was rude to complain about her guests at all.  The fact that the guests were children doesn't mean she should get a pass.

It's generally exhausting (for me) to host an out of town couple with a language barrier.  But It's not cool to get on FB later in the week and make a cutting remark about how the night was awfully boring with such little to talk about.  Even if you know other people will agree with you.

It's generally exhausting (for me) to host a small dinner party for your boss and a few other higher ups in the company.  Even though many would agree that it's exhausting I wouldn't post negatively about the evening on social media for others to commiserate with.

I mean, she stepped over the line with the remark about the child.  But really, she shouldn't have been complaining about what seemed like a routine kids party.  It is what it is.

Traffic is what it is. Going to work on Monday morning is what it is. Both are routine and people complain about those all the time. Some people just use Facebook to complain.
76
A job posting that I was considering had this:

Quote
Top 5 Reasons We Think You'll Love It Here

    Great employee bike program
    Amazing office location on the 19th floor with a killer view
    Full benefits package
    Awesome team of diverse individuals that love what they do
    Did we mention that we ride bikes at work?

Now, if they'd mention the bike program once I might have applied. I like to ride a bike although I don't do it very often. Mentioning it twice in their "top 5" makes me think that they're just a wee bit too focused on it. Somehow I wonder if "diverse individuals" includes overweight 59yos.
77
Client: Requirements?  Aren't you supposed to tell us what they are?
Me: *bangs head on wall*

No client, YOU tell us what your requirements are and we, the vendor, will build it to your specifications.

VP/Chief Product Officer: We need a portal!
Me: Great. What functions do you want the portal to have?
VP: I don't know.
Me: Ok, who is the intended audience?
VP: ***handwaving***
Me: Let me know when you know what you want.
VP: But we *must* have a portal!

VP (later, and to someone else): At my *previous* job, I had architects who were much better than Art.

Reminds me of a job interview I had where in every one of the five separate interviews, they asked me what I thought might be a problem with the proposed product and how I would fix it. In detail.  For multiple hours.  Except, I didn't help propose the product since, you know, I didn't work there, and therefore wasn't familiar with their design, and the product didn't exist yet so it's not like I could have experience with it prior to the interview. So other than guessing what design flaws might exist (assuming they were bad at design), I really didn't know what they wanted me to tell them.

I kinda though the job would be about how best to find and solve actual problems with the design, which is what I do and how I answered the questions.  I wasn't offered the job because my content knowledge wasn't thorough enough (as evidenced, I guess, by not coming up with the right imaginary problems?).  Really seemed like it came down to semantics.  Oh well.
78
Life...in general / Re: Happened two weeks ago and still angry...
« Last post by mime on Today at 11:57:39 AM »
She sounds like a total jerk and you're well rid of her.  I know it's hard to let go of something like this - I'm the prime example of not being able to let go - but saying anything to her is the equivalent of banging your head against the wall.  She's so un-self aware it's ridiculous.  Criticizing a child for needing to leave the room to blow her nose?!  And if her son is that over-sensitive she needs to get him to a therapist. 

I am wondering what her reaction would have been if your DD had needed to use the bathroom to relieve herself - would that have been criticized too?  Sheesh.

I agree with all of this: hard to let go. un-self aware. over-sensitive son.

Honestly, I really really want you to totally tell her off and call her out on everything she's said and done. I want you to do it in a very public and triumphant way. As a result, I want her to be embarrassed by her actions and I want others to see that you and your daughter were wronged.

The problem is that the results I want aren't likely to happen. Chances are others will already know about her family's shortcomings and already rolled their eyes at her criticizing someone else's kid. For those who don't already know this, you will just look obnoxious. Chances are she will not suddenly become aware of her self-centeredness and get a more objective view of her kids vs other kids. I doubt that you alone can get the results you want.

So just do what everyone is saying and let it go. Stay on the high road and keep demonstrating healthy relationships to your daughter -- whether than means correcting broken ones or walking away from them altogether. Let this 'friend' wonder why you (and potentially others) just seem to disappear from her life, because, chances are she won't understand why even if it was explained in very clear terms.

79
Family and Children / Re: Ex-wife still included in holidays
« Last post by livluvlaf on Today at 11:46:03 AM »
I think your in-laws and BF's ex wife are trying to keep things as normal as possible for the children.  At 5 and 7  they are unlikely to be aware of the finer nuances of separation and divorce, and want both their parents to be there for major celebrations.  The fact that the two most important adults in their life lived in the same house, but were not 'together" would have escaped them and so it is a very short time since the split.  This could be the first major set of holidays they have experienced after the divorce proper.  They probably have no concept of what 'buying a house together'  actually signifies, and the fact that your BF is still in the same house they all lived in only muddles their thinking further.
Having a close relative in almost the same situation, for many years we tried to act as adults and welcomed ex-wife and new girlfriend to both our family and her family gatherings.  Now the children who are in their late teens and early twenties can talk about how relieved they were to spend holidays all altogether at one place.

POD!!!

Holidays and special events are already busy and chaotic. Let alone splitting your time into two!

DH has divorced parents, and EVERYTHING has to be celebrated in triplicate. Once for his mom, once for his dad ... then my family. It is EXHAUSTING.
80
Teasing a friend that her new Lexus doesn't have side mirror defoggers while my 1998 Acura does.  My other friend also teased that her minivan has them... so how could a Lexus not have them?  :D  We all had a good laugh.
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