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  • August 29, 2015, 04:26:33 PM

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71 general / Re: Forward rush from back of the plane
« Last post by EllenS on Today at 09:49:45 AM »
I think the folks who describe "row by row" as "everybody stands up as soon as they are allowed and moves forward, unless they are waiting" are actually describing the exact same phenomenon as those who talk about the "step out when there's space and move forward as long as you don't block anyone."

I got the impression from the OP that she remained seated after the light went off, and expected everyone else to stay seated until it was their row's turn. That is the practice I have never seen on an airplane, anywhere.

Joe didn't invite Chris because he knew Chris would be upset that Jerk was there and Chris would either have confronted Jerk or Chris would have been hurt because Joe was friends with Jerk. So Joe either cares about Chris's feelings more than yours or he just didn't want a scene at the party.

Great point - I didn't think of that! OP, did Chris know the situation between you and Jerk? (Or between James and Jerk?). And is Chris the type of person who'd confront Jerk if he saw him at the party? If the answers are "yes", then it's obvious why Joe didn't invite Chris!

If the above is correct, then shame on Joe for choosing to invite Jerk over Chris, who was supposed to be a good friend.

Great points, both of you.  At this point I think I'd be loath to waste a perfectly good clue-by-four on Joe's head.
Recipe Requests / Re: Autumn/Halloween themed food for grown-ups?
« Last post by AnnaJane on Today at 09:48:28 AM »
I've always wanted to try this party theme, and one of these Halloweens I will: the Seven Deadly Courses. You pick a food dish that goes with one of the seven "deadly sins" basically. So something ultra fancy like caviar for pride, something hot and spicy for anger, something people tend to gobble up for gluttony, and so on.
However, if you notice that your siblings get the $100 dollars in cash, while you get, say, a $100 dollar gift card to a gardening store when you don't garden, you may well consider it so be a comment on your lifestyle, possibly even an insulting one.

And you are free to decline it.

And everyone would be perfectly 'polite' and there'd be hurt feelings, and almost definitely a rift in the family.

Dad needs to decide whether it's important enough to him that the money he's giving is spent just the way he'd like, to cause hurt and separation between himself and his children, and between them as well.

Yes.  We're bumping up against the place where "manners" and "relationships" don't necessarily jive. You can rip somebody's heart out with politeness, if they love you and you treat them with mere civility.

(I'm not saying this situation is that intense, I'm saying family bonds run deeper than social correctness)
Family and Children / Re: Calling all twins!
« Last post by jmarvellous on Today at 09:43:00 AM »
I'm 3 years older than my brother, to the day, and I've mentioned here before that we had many joint parties. We never looked askance at a combined gift, so long as it was age-appropriate for both, for birthdays or Christmas. It's how we collected lots of board games and bigger toys.

Twins might feel like us, or like other posters. If you have a limited budget and can afford a single, appropriate gift that's nicer than the 2 gifts you would otherwise buy, I think it'd be fine.
@johelenc: True, some of us grew  up without cellphones. But that doesn't mean we should demonize them or mock the people who did (or do) grow up with them. People grew up without many things - modern medicine, TV, landlines, internet - but that doesn't make us wrong or entitled for using those things.
Any thing can be used in a bad way - back in the day, a kid could still withdraw from the rest by reading a book or playing with some toy, so it's not like a lack of cellphones equals instant socializing (or vice versa).
There have been several explanations in this thread as to why someone might want their child to keep the cellphone. You don't have to agree with any of them, of course, but I think it would be kind of you to respect our point of view.
Family and Children / Re: Calling all twins!
« Last post by Lula on Today at 09:33:13 AM »
I'm a twin and I've always appreciated people acknowledging me as an individual--as proprietary as anyone else--in such seemingly little gestures as giving me my own gift.

As far as gifts are concerned, treat this as you would  joint birthday party for two non-siblings.  Give each GOH something according to your best understanding of his/her interests.  If there's one item you think both of them would really, really, really like, get one for each kid, if possible.

I feel like I need to write an article on How Not to Be a Jerk to Your Friend Who Is a Twin.
Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: S/O Beggars, Moochers and Scammers
« Last post by scotcat60 on Today at 09:32:39 AM »
An author named James Veitch has just written a book called "Dot Con" about the various exchanges he has had with internet scammers. One claimed to be Winnie Mandela, second wife of Nelson Mandela, and needed help in getting $45million out of the country due to Nelson's poor state of health. Mr Veitch replied that given Nelson Mandela had died three months previously, it was no wonder his health was poor.
79 general / Re: Forward rush from back of the plane
« Last post by Clareish on Today at 09:23:23 AM »
I've noticed that this does vary between regionally and international. Right now, I am flying more internationally, and it is whomever up first, gets off first (except for first class or whatever). I really have no issue with this, as you have no idea what people are dealing with. Examples: connecting flights, toilet issues, transport, etc. I am no in a rush (usually), so I sit back with my book. But, when I am ready, people do stop and let me in. I would never think to correct another adult! When I do have connections to make (the airlines seem to be making tighter and tighter connections, I just had an hour in Dublin which was tight!), I do rush and it never seems to be an issue.

Regionally, even within Canada and the USA, people are much more strict about it.

A story: My mother, years ago, hated to fly. Absolutely terrified. So she was one of the first off the plane. It was like a compulsion. I remember I was a teenager at the time and she left the plane way before a lot of other rows had gone on an inter-Canada flight. She left me, she was just that terrified (I was an older teenager, and well able to take care of myself, so please don't think she was being terrible). But, when I went to follow her, a man I did not know put his arm across my aisle seat, effectively blocking me in, and told me to wait my turn and that my mother was being rude by leaving so quickly. Again, he had no idea why my mother, or myself, might want to leave the plane, and I was left shaking my head as a stranger decided that he knew much better than I.

That experience is why I say that the OP handled the situation poorly. You do not get to impose your 'rules' (which are subjective) on anyone else with a lecture. I would not have been quite as polite in response as I would have cared to be, particularly as I often have short connections to make.
Paper Trail / Is there a reception?
« Last post by Lady Snowdon on Today at 09:18:07 AM »
DH and I received an invite to a cousin's wedding yesterday, and I am so confused by it!  At the bottom of the invite, there's a little note that says 5 pm cocktails, 6 pm ceremony.  Which to me sounds like they're not having a reception at all.  Then, I look at the RSVP, which has options for "We're ready to party all night long!" and "Regretfully decline".  Which sounds like they are having a reception, but why isn't it listed on the invite along with the cocktails and ceremony?  A friend thought maybe the reception is right after the ceremony in the same area, so no need to list it separately.  I'm starting to think there is a reception and we're not invited to it. 

Unfortunately, I'm not close enough to the groom's family to ask outright (the groom is one of DH's cousins, and that branch of the family doesn't get along well with other people in the family).  I'm hoping when we next see DH's parents they'll have a bit more information. 

Any thoughts from eHellions as to what could be going on here?
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