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71
MommyPenguin wrote:

Quote
I do wonder what it is about math that makes so many people seem to think it's some sort of
genetic thing and that it's not their fault they aren't doing well at it.  Sure, some people are
naturally better at mathematical thinking just as some are better at writing, but short of an actual
learning disability, that doesn't mean that you can just say, "Well, I just don't have the brain for
math" when you can't figure out a basic algebra problem any more than somebody can say, "Well,
I just don't have the brain for writing" when you can't figure out the difference between "there" and "their."

Those of use who have discalculia (www.ncld.org/types-learning-disabilities/dyscalculia) do have a math learning disability.  As a parent of DSs with this LD I spent years explaining it math teachers who had never heard of it and just stated that DSs just needed to try harder. 

It's rude to proclaim "I hate your specialization".  It's another thing to have a conversation and explain I will always operate at a semi-concrete level in certain math concepts.
72
Madeline Peyoux covering Leonard Cohen.
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WolfWay, Duran's cover of "White Lines" was blistering live. The covers album, however? Let us never speak of it again.  ;)
I'll see if I can find a video of a live performance. Thanks for the heads up.  :D

I have a deep fondness for covers, and actually have accepted the awesomeness that is The Shat into my heart. "Common People" and "Bohemian Rhapsody" and "Rocket Man" are, look, just special, okay?!

Placebo's cover of "Running Up that Hill" is perfection.

No Doubt's cover of "It's My Life," however, is not.
Oh lord, no, bad bad wrongly badness. <shudder>

Speaking of fantastic cover versions: Richard Cheese does some glorious covers of rock/metal/alternative/rap songs in a the style of a lounge singer and its fantastic! He turns "Gin n Juice" into a slow rambling spoken word contemplative poem. He also turn Papa Roach's "Last Resort"  and Linkin Parks "One step closer" into chirpy little piano lounge singer pieces.

74
In a situation like this (where someone has twice fallen from the raft and is flailing and obviously terrified and panicking) I would suggest that they move into the very center of the raft and sit on the floor. Just remove her from the equation. There are enough people paddling that deadweight is not a problem.

I wouldn't do this because I was annoyed at her. I would do this for her safety and comfort. I also would not be annoyed at her because I would not expect a "basic" rafting trip to have the chance to toss someone out twice. That is really dangerous.  If I was annoyed at anyone, it would be at the rafting company for misjudging the trip and not having a way to remove someone safely from the raft.
75
Finding a guestbook for MIL's memorial service. 

I thought I could just go into a card store and pick one up. I've gone to at least half a dozen places with no success. 

 Silly me! The one store that carries them had two choices. One was 50 USD.  The other, nicer version was 88 USD!  I'm sorry but that's an outrageous amount of money to pay for a guestbook. 

We're ordering one on line but who would have thought such a simple thing would cause so much 'mishegas'?

Craft stores have them. For my wedding (in a week, eep!), we bought a picture album and some scrapbook paper. Instead of a guest book, we are having people write something fun on a scrapbook paper. After we get the pictures back from the photographer, we are going to pair the note with a picture of the person who wrote it. That will go in the photo album. Could you do something like that instead if you can't find a guest book? Share a memory of her then pair a picture of her and that person with the memory?

ETA: Sorry, didn't realize you'd already ordered one.
76
Life...in general / Re: Incident at the cashier
« Last post by lakey on Today at 01:14:17 AM »
The rude person here was the mother. The boy was young and didn't understand that he was causing confusion by moving around. The young lady didn't realize that the boy had something to buy so she simply misunderstood, which is not rude.
The mother had no business whatsoever in putting her hand on that young lady and moving her back. I hope that at some point someone tells her to keep her hands off people. Not only is it rude, but she risks someone shoving back.

All she had to do was to say, "Excuse me, my son was in line."
77
Adele's cover of Make You Feel My Love is just gorgeous. Didn't even realise it was a Bob Dylan song when I heard it.
78
Tainted Love seems to bring out the best in some singers.

I love the original Gloria Jones version, but Marc Almond, Max Raabe and Marilyn Manson have all done great covers.

I was just going to post that the Soft Cell version is one of my favorite covers. 

There are so many versions of You Belong To Me, but Jo Stafford gets to me every time.
79
Paper Trail / Re: Thank you letters - what do you like to receive?
« Last post by kareng57 on Today at 12:54:26 AM »
As everyone says, the most important thing is to thank the givers at all.

Prompt is important.  Of course at a time like a wedding, it's hard to get them out as fast as you otherwise could, but it's important to do your best.  It expresses enthusiasm and genuine gratitude.  I don't know how the rumor started that you're supposed to, or even that it's okay to, wait to send them until after the wedding even if the gifts were received long before the wedding (probably wishful thinking by HCs), but it's not true -- I've never heard of a single etiquette authority that says that.  Thank you notes for wedding gifts, like any other thank you notes, should go out as soon as possible after the gift was received, particularly if you didn't open it in front of the giver.

That's why I would not wait for photos.  I wouldn't include a photo at all unless it included the givers, like a cute candid of them, or a photo of them with the HC, or a family group shot, and only then if it didn't mean a delay of any substantial length.  I wouldn't include a photo just of the HC, though, and certainly not if it meant delaying sending them.

I also think that thank you notes should be handwritten, but it's not terrible if they are typed if neither of you really can write or even print legibly.  Ditto address labels -- not awful, but handwritten or hand printed is better.  Do sign your name by hand, though.

Absolutely no form letters -- that's about the only kind of thank you note that I think is worse than none at all -- or IMO computer- or website-generated letters (especially with advertising on them). 

And then there is content ...

No, I don't think anyone needs to write at Pulitzer level.  At the same time, I do think that there are okay thank you notes, good thank you notes, and great thank you notes.  It's fine to write any of these, just as it's fine to cook a simple meal or a delicious meal or an unbelievably great meal.  Everyone has different talents, skills, and interests, and not everyone wants to, or should want to, be a thank you note expert.  But that doesn't mean that those who want to make their correspondence the very best that they can, and really make those notes shine, are "sneering" at others who do a less memorable, but perfectly adequate, job -- any more than gourmet cooks sneer at their meatloaf-cooking friends who prefer to spend their time other ways than researching, shopping for, and cooking elaborate meals. 

As others have said, it's important to mention the gift and say something nice about it.  As I wrote on another string, I personally find it amusing when a thank you note for a gift chosen from the registry -- i.e., that the couple chose themselves -- thanks us for "the lovely china" or "the beautiful vase."  To me, it sounds like they are complimenting their own good taste.  No crime against the nation!  And yes, yes, yes, the important things are that they are thanking us and indicating that they know what gift we sent. But it's better, in my opinion, if they find some other way of expressing enthusiasm about registry gifts: "We are so excited to be able to set a nice table.  Bye-bye, jelly jars!"  "We can't wait until spring so we can fill the vase with colorful flowers; we will think of you when we do."

For gifts chosen by the givers, I like something along the lines of "What a great idea for a gift!  We love the electric dog polisher."  Everyone likes to hear that they made a great choice that pleased you.

For cash, I agree that mentioning what you are planning on buying, or what you are saving for, is nice.  I also like "Thank you for helping us off to a good start."

I will probably get flamed for this again, but I like starting with something other than "Thank you for the ..." and I don't like closing with "Thank you again," especially not in a short note of just a few sentences.  No sneering; I just think notes sound a lot fresher otherwise.  In fact, I generally try not to use the words "thank you for the ..." in the sentence about the gift.  Instead, I thank them for their good wishes, for celebrating with us, for their kindness and love, etc., and say something nice about the gift. 

And finally, I think it's nice to say something about the givers that has nothing to do with the wedding or the gift or the HC themselves.  I think it shows that the HC is seeing the giver as a person in their own right, not just the source of a gift or a wedding guest.

So here is a sample (let's say it's a gift they picked out themselves):

***

Dear Aunt Pitty-Pat and Uncle Horace,

Cuthbert and I were so glad you were able to attend our wedding.  Seeing your smiling faces as I came down the aisle will always be a special memory of the day for me.  You both looked great!

The moss-covered, three-handled, family gredunza is absolutely gorgeous.  It looks fabulous on the mantle!  Thank you so much for your loving thoughtfulness.

Have a wonderful time on your vacation.  See you at Thanksgiving!

Love,
Petunia

***

But there is nothing at all wrong with this, which is a pretty typical one in my experience (let's say it's for an item the HC registered):

***

Dear Aunt Pitty-Pat and Uncle Horace,

Thank you so much for the crystal water pitcher.  Cuthbert and I will think of you whenever we use it.

We were all very sorry that you were unable to attend our wedding.  Everyone missed you.  We hope your measles clear up soon.

Love,
Petunia

***

And then this one -- it gets the job done, but I think it looks like a note I would expect from a young child.  No, I wouldn't be annoyed or offended or think less of an adult who sent it -- but I can't say I would be very impressed:

***

Dear Aunt Pitty-Pat and Uncle Horace,

Thank you for the lovely gift.  We were glad you could attend our wedding.
Thank you again.

Love,
Petunia

***

I'm not sure why people find this hard.  I mean, if you were thanking Aunt Pitty-Pat personally at the reception, you probably wouldn't start the conversation by saying "Thank you for the ..." and you probably wouldn't end it with "Thank you again," and you'd have more to say besides.  You'd mention the gift specifically, and you definitely wouldn't hand her a picture of yourself.  "Aunt Pitty-Pat!  There you are.  Wow, you look great -- that is really your color.  Are you having a good time?  And, oh, Aunt Pitty-Pat, Cuthbert and I are absolutely thrilled with the hamster repair kit.  How did you know our hamster was broken?  Thank you so much!  You are the best!  Hey, did you get any of that bean dip?  Hurry before it's all gone!  Love you -- mwah!"

But anyway, as I said, thank you notes don't have to be excellent to be perfectly good.  I just think that people make it harder on themselves than it has to be if they would just imagine themselves talking to the people instead of writing.  If it's important to you to think of the recipients saying something like, "Horace, did you see this really nice note from Petunia?" then go the extra mile -- but if you don't care, just get something reasonably personal and specific out as promptly as you can, and you're fine.


Also - re sending the TY notes after the wedding - there must have been some kind of etiquette mavens recommending this in the early 1980s, since that's what I did.  We did receive quite a number of gifts during the 2 to 3 weeks before the wedding, and I wrote out the TY notes, but left them with a wedding attendant to put in the mail.  People still received their notes quite promptly.

I therefore find your assertion that people deliberately send the notes after the wedding due to laziness to be pretty unkind.
80
The permanent kind are standard in the UK -- in London, at least.  I can think of half a dozen in the area where I live. They're  useful reminders.
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