News: There is a new Ehell Kindness Project!  Check it out in the "Extending the Hand of Kindness" folder or here: http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=139832.msg3372084#msg3372084   

  • April 29, 2016, 07:15:01 AM

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71
"So kind of you to take an interest." / Re: Sigh. Only thought of it later...
« Last post by EllenS on Yesterday at 04:41:19 PM »
I'd probably make up a different reason every time.  "Cliff diving off Gibraltar."  "Hit a wall while race car driving."  etc.

Like a girl I once knew who was missing a hand.  She was buying something in my store one time and another customer goes "Oh my God how did you lose your hand?!"  Katie goes "Hmm? Oh, meat grinder accident."  When the customer left I said "Was it really a meat grinder accident or do you make up a different reason every time someone asks?"  She goes "No it really was a meat grinder accident, but oh yeah I mess with people all the time.  I'll be like 'shark attack'.  That lady caught me off guard."  Lol.

Or the girl at my school who had had a leg amputated.  When someone asked how she 'lost' her leg, she replied 'oh no, not again!' and started looking around, as if searching for it.

*spit take*
72
Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: S/O Beggars, Moochers and Scammers
« Last post by magicdomino on Yesterday at 04:40:38 PM »
BF's parents have been getting the income tax scam one where they call and say you owe huge amounts of back taxes and the police are going to come to your house if you don't pay it.  BF's mom wasn't sure if it was legit so called the number back and spoke to someone.  But she demanded written documentation to show where the mistakes were made.  The guy got really mad at her and hung up.

And then someone had the nerve to call again the next day!

I told her to report the number to the local police.

Local police can't do anything.  The IRS has a page on their website for reporting scammers, not that they can do much either since the scammers are overseas and change locations and phone numbers frequently.
73
It seems that I'm the only one who thinks she's trying to make conversation and just not doing a very good job.  If someone said they were worried about going to Oklahoma b/c of tornadoes, I probably would say something breezy about how odds are they'd be fine and I wouldn't let it ruin my trip were I going there.  I'd probably also make a comment if a good friend complained about losing their luggage - that's what you do to acknowledge something a friend says.  If you don't want commentary (good or bad), you don't put it out there.

OP, I really feel like you're letting your past color your impression of her a bit much.  I truly don't read any of it as condescending or even advice-giving.  It's just statements.  You've even gone so far as to say she's trying to lord her intelligence over you even though you're the one with the advanced degree - that just sounds like a major self-esteem issue on your part (I'm sorry, I realize I'm being awfully blunt).  Granted you have every right to unfriend or block or what-have-you if it annoys you.  I think the suggestion above that you just delete comments you don't care for and tell her you've already discussed why if she asks is a good one.  I also suggest take some time to look into why she's making you feel this way and learning to separate her from people in your past who hurt you.  She isn't them and I very much doubt she's trying to be like that.

There's a big difference between saying, "I'm sure you'll be fine, try not to worry, enjoy your trip" and saying, "You're just being silly."

Of course most people who are being obnoxious are not doing it on purpose, just like most people with horrible B.O.aren't doing it on purpose.

That doesn't make it any more pleasant to be around. It also doesn't mean you owe them an audience, or that you have low self-esteem for saying, "enough!"

Indeed, knowing when you've had enough is a sign of proper self esteem.
74
Life...in general / Re: Dealing with pushy salespeople
« Last post by sparksals on Yesterday at 04:34:47 PM »
Don't feel bad for your gunshot reaction.  I did something similar 6 years ago and Iposted about it here because i felt bad..

My dad died and we were at the grocery store getting ice for his wake. I was in an all back dress and hubby was in a dark grey suit....in August.  We had a cart load of ice and the person behind me made the joke that  she wanted to come party at our house.  Without even thinking, I said it is for my Dad's funeral.  Of course she felt bad and I immediately felt bad for retorting the way I did. 

Sometimes we are in a different headspace and given my dad had just died, I think I deserved a pass.  You do too. 
75
"So kind of you to take an interest." / Re: Sigh. Only thought of it later...
« Last post by Mustard on Yesterday at 04:34:09 PM »
I'd probably make up a different reason every time.  "Cliff diving off Gibraltar."  "Hit a wall while race car driving."  etc.

Like a girl I once knew who was missing a hand.  She was buying something in my store one time and another customer goes "Oh my God how did you lose your hand?!"  Katie goes "Hmm? Oh, meat grinder accident."  When the customer left I said "Was it really a meat grinder accident or do you make up a different reason every time someone asks?"  She goes "No it really was a meat grinder accident, but oh yeah I mess with people all the time.  I'll be like 'shark attack'.  That lady caught me off guard."  Lol.

Or the girl at my school who had had a leg amputated.  When someone asked how she 'lost' her leg, she replied 'oh no, not again!' and started looking around, as if searching for it. 
76
Life...in general / Re: late arrivals at restaurant dinner
« Last post by TabathasGran on Yesterday at 04:32:04 PM »
I probably would have wandered off without food or drink for that long.
The organizer was really quite rude and incorrect.
Why was the person late? I would be mortified to hold people hostage like that.

77
Hobbies / Re: What to do? Another genealogy question.
« Last post by Mustard on Yesterday at 04:29:08 PM »
My great grandfather shared his name with someone who lived in the same village in East Anglia in the 1840's and born within a year or two of each other, which has made for some interesting times while researching that particular branch of the family.  If that can happen in one small village, I can't see any reason there can't be two Freds 300 miles apart!
78
Recipe Requests / Re: I'm tired of salmon . . . fish tips and recipes, please.
« Last post by violinp on Yesterday at 04:21:15 PM »
Tilapia done up with capers is really good. My mom used to make it all the time: http://www.simplyscratch.com/2013/08/pan-seared-tilapia-with-lemon-and-caper-sauce.html
79
Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: S/O Beggars, Moochers and Scammers
« Last post by KimberlyM on Yesterday at 04:13:40 PM »
My boss fell for that one, going as far as allowing them remote access and giving them his credit card info. 
80
Life...in general / Re: How to not invite other friends on a vacation?
« Last post by KenveeB on Yesterday at 04:06:28 PM »
The surest way to get your friends to treat this like a big deal is to act like it's a big deal. I wouldn't think anything of two of my group of friends going on a trip together. (Several have, at various times, actually.) But if they started being evasive, not talking about their plans like they ordinarily would, and generally acting like they think they're doing something wrong, then I'd be thinking that they must be!
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