News: IT'S THE 2ND ANNUAL GUATEMALA LIBRARY PROJECT BOOK DRIVE!    LOOKING FOR DONATIONS OF SCIENCE BOOKS THIS YEAR.    Check it out in the "Extending the Hand of Kindness" folder or here: http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=139832.msg3372084#msg3372084   

  • January 18, 2017, 03:04:31 AM

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81
All In A Day's Work / Re: An Office Food Scavenger
« Last post by Venus193 on Yesterday at 02:02:00 PM »
I would have done my best to embarrass the living daylights out of anyone who did this to me, especially if there were multiple witnesses.  Maybe not E-Hell approved, but anyone who would do anything like that is likely to have had other victims.
82
Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Last post by Coralreef on Yesterday at 01:57:16 PM »
This woman sounds like a nightmare - https://uk.news.yahoo.com/residents-reveal-parking-war-with-selfish-mum-who-blocks-roads-with-4x4-134437513.html

Hopefully some authority will stop her - short version: She drops her kids at school and parks wherever she wants, frequently blocking peoples laneways for up to 45 minutes.

It would be so tempting to buy a wrecker car, and "ooops, did I just hit your car?  Let me move. "Ooopss, wrong gear, sorry to hit you again." Not that I would do it, but one can daydream.
83
Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: What's for Dinner?
« Last post by TracyXJ on Yesterday at 01:56:20 PM »
Because it's my son's 3rd birthday and his favorite food:  Mac'n cheese from a box.  He prefers it to my husband's homemade for some reason.  I'll probably grill some hot dogs to go with it.  And if I'm lucky, he'll eat some broccoli too!
84
Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Last post by Redneck Gravy on Yesterday at 01:50:21 PM »
I am in the process of purchasing two signs for the parking lot spaces of one of my clients - cost is going to be around $60 for both signs. 

Parking for
XYZ Company
only
Others will be towed

If this was a problem I was having I would not hesitate to purchase said signs.  You can install them in the ground, in a bucket of concrete or print them on poster board and use them as fold up signs when needed. 

Or I would contact my city road department and ask them about said signs.  I see these all the time by the high schools locally.  (kids were blocking in residents) 

Why keep retraining snowflakes?
85
Gifts, Registries and Money / Re: How to say honeymoon fund?
« Last post by ladyknight1 on Yesterday at 01:40:13 PM »
I would use very clear wording that it is a honeymoon fund.
86
There are lots of halal food carts in my city and I don't like the white sauce (partly because I have no idea what's in it) but I once walked away from one because the guy just wouldn't follow instructions.  I said "No white sauce" and he still put it on.  I said this a second time and he still put it in, like a reflex action.  That's when I said "Forget it" and walked away.  This was really frustrating because I didn't have a lot of time left to get food and get back to the office.
87
Wait, Buyer A is still interested after cancelling? And now wants more paperwork? :o

I would not waste any more time with them but tell them to take a flying leap... >:(

Rude, yes, but more importantly, totally unprofessional. 

Could she not have been serious about the purchase in the first place, and only have been after the financial information for her own gain? To start a rival business for example?

First thing that occurred to me with the update is, Buyer A saw all the pre-holiday sales info and now wants post-holiday sales info.  For essentially free.  That's a pretty complete picture for most businesses, and pretty useful for either buying out an existing business or starting a competing one. 

I think the majority partner nailed the reply.

I provided her with five years of financials.  If she wants to look at financials every six months I think she should pay for that privilege.  I get paid either way - but I think Buyer should be footing the bill for the extra work required, this is insane.   

No the Buyer has not been vetted and I also think that should be looked into if she requests anymore information.  Partners are supposed to meet with a broker in the next couple of weeks, that should be interesting information (more knowledge for me).   
88
OK. Here goes.

My experience has been with California tribes, but I have had a lot of conversations with members of other tribes & people who work with other tribes, and the experiences have been similar, een if the tribes are very different.  So, here is what I would do. It may be a lot lot more work than you planned, but I think it will be effective.

First, there is a reason no one is returning calls. Indians prefer to deal with people, not company representatives they don't know. Until you set up some kind of relationship, you will have little success. In most other business situations, you can arrange for a meeting, have a bit of chit chat & get down to business. This won't work here. Well, you can do that, but you will find that your meeting is very unproductive, and still have the no phone call problem. As I mentioned, it would be best to have at least two visits. The first, a general meet & greet; the second more focussed.

The first thing I would do is call the main company. Find someone who has been working with the tribe. You want someone who has developed good rapport and a good working relationship. If you get a big sigh and "It's impossible to work with those people. They always stonewall." you are talking to the wrong person.

Once you find Mr. or Ms. Right, have a long talk (I'll call the person Chris Right). Ask them how the tribe works. Who are the important people for you to talk to. The important people may not be the ones who are important on paper. Sometimes the tribal chair and council are powerful; sometimes only figureheads to keep the Feds happy. It may look like you need to talk to the Environmental Director, but everyone knows that nothing happens until the vice tribal chair gives approval. Sometimes you need to be vetted by people you will never know are important, such as certain elders.

Chris also should help you get a feel for the culture of the tribe. What is sacred to them and therefore off limits to you. Are there subjects that you shouldn't bring up? Is it OK to praise children or not? Do most tribe memebers live on or off the reservation?

Once you've got a good idea, ask Chris Right to set up a meeting with the first important person you need to see. It might be the vice chair or the vice chair's assistant or actually the Environmental Director. Chris must set up the meeting for you. Do not try to call and say "Chris Right suggested I call you." Chris has to make the call and set it up for you. Chris also has to attend the meeting--this is critical. Chris is vouching for you.

You may be puzzled about some of the people who attend the first meeting. Assume that they are there for a purpose and treat them as business colleagues. They are probably there to check you out.

Remember "personal." Usually it's a bad idea to bring your personal life to a business meeting, but here it is not. Introduce yourself. Talk about your credentials and what you do for your employer, but also mention yourself and your family. "I have three kids." "I just got back fro a trip to England." "My grandson told me he wished he could come with me since he is interested in geology and the XY rock formation has always interested him."  The idea is that you are visiting because you want to get to know the people with whom your company is working and you would like them to get to know you.

Listen. Listen more than usual. If someone goes off on a tangent, don't try to bring the meeting back to the main subject. There is a good chance you are being tested, to see how you react.

Expect that little may be resolved at that first meeting.

Be extremely deferential and respectful of elders, even more than you might be to your own grandparents. This is a very important thing in Indian cultures. Your behavior toward elders will be noticed. This means you may have to be observant--while you are trying to remember everything else! It doesn't matter if you have been introduced to the elder. Hold open doors, give up your seat, offer to bring a cup of coffee. On the other hand, don't strike up a conversation with an elder unless it's clear that it is OK.

Don't bring gifts to that first meeting. Gifts can be important, but, again, they need to be personal. A box of doughnuts or even homemade cookies are generic. (But do ask Chris Right if you should bring refreshments to the meeting. Refreshments, not a gift.) Wait until you get back, then send a gift. Remove the gift from the business context. The gift can be an inexpensive token, as long as it is personal. "We we were talking about cooking and I thought you might enjoy this cookbook of specialties from my home town." "When my son was 3, he loved this toy. It sounds like your son would as well." "The office staff mentioned how much they like flavored coffees. Here is my favorite one from my favorite shop."

Your gift may or may not be acknowledged. In some cultures, it is not supposed to ever be mentioned. But they will remember.

I found that Indians will accept a genuine and sincere "I don't know" as an answer. In fact,they will prefer it to vagueness and equivocation. It took me along time to realize that "I don't know" would not elicit an angry "what do you mean you don't know?!!" Offers to find the answer and report back must be folowed up on, or you will lose a lot of goodwill.

I would talk to your boss and Chris Right and be prepared with a response to "what do you think of the pipeline situation?" There is a good chance you might be asked. You may want to say, sincerely, that it is really complicated, and the more you look into it, the more complicated it seems ot get,but you are trying to keep an open mind about all sides. But that is something you need to work out for yourself. Just be prepared for it. 

OK. I'll stop now. Let me know if something doesn't make sense or if you have other questions.
89
Family and Children / Re: How to get relatives to back off
« Last post by Esther_bunny on Yesterday at 01:34:17 PM »
If you ever did get married, the next thing they ask is when you'll have a baby. So annoying.

Ugh. This happened to me. Down to my mom wandering through the baby clothes section at Target saying, "I'll never get to buy these things." and looking forlorn.

I have told her that I cannot have children (we've tried, trust me) but she still forgets sometimes.
I'd love to get pregnant but it's not in the cards and I've accepted that.
90
Family and Children / Re: No, really. Put in your hearing aids.
« Last post by MaryR on Yesterday at 01:33:24 PM »
DH has hearing aids and even when he is wearing them, he has a lot of problems hearing in crowd situations.

He has to pay attention to single out 1 voice and if everyone is talking at once, it all becomes background noise. There are times when its easier on everyone if he takes them out and relies on me to translate for him*. He has mentioned that family gatherings are harder on him because family members tend to sound more similar than strangers do.

This could be a part of the reason Aunt doesn't wear her hearing aids around family.

*Not really translate, he just needs to only have to pick out 1 voice instead of trying to hear voices in different directions. Perhaps someone could do that for Aunt?
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