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Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: Baby Names - You're kidding Right???
« Last post by Nikko-chan on Today at 07:01:21 AM »
Seen today - Sharlette.  When I first saw it, I thought it was Scarlett.  Took another look, thought for some reason it said Shallot.  Let's hope other people this poor woman meets are not as bad at deciphering names as I am!

Why not use good old fashioned Charlotte? It is cute, I think.
Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: Horror movies - recommendations
« Last post by AvidReader on Today at 06:59:29 AM »
The Sentinel (1977)
Ghost Story  (1981)
Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: s/o superstitions-Unusual beliefs
« Last post by Thipu1 on Today at 06:57:26 AM »
I agree with this.  Our neighborhood has changed quite a bit since we first moved in 30 years ago. Still, there's something here I'm tempted to call a 'personality' and it has nothing to do with the people who live here.

This may sound nuts but, I swear that the light is different here. 
Family and Children / Re: How strong was DD's "no" for prom?
« Last post by Wintergreen on Today at 06:50:07 AM »
"Okay" to me means yes, so I'm a bit confused as to why you and your daughter thought she said no.  I can't think of any way that "okay" could be interpreted as no.  Her original mention of other plans was a bit wishy-washy, and his buying the tickets did seem like a way to try to coerce her into a yes, but this whole situation seems like a miscommunication.  I'd suggest that you, as parent, stay out of it, and tell his mom that it was up to the kids to figure out.  It's a good idea for her to learn to say no in a clear manner as a teenager.  You can definitely coach her on that, of course.

The statement for which the "okay" was given was "I bought two tickets", not to the question "will you come with me to prom". If I reply "Okay" to the first one, it does not in anyway imply "okay, I will be using other of the tickets with you". It's "okay, I hear what you are saying." Furthermore, there is nothing wishy-washy about stating "I have other plans, I'm not going". That is perfectly clear in any and every situation. I can see of course that hopeful boy (or anyone really) will hear what he want's to hear, but that really is not daughter's problem.
Trans-Atlantic Knowledge Exchange / Re: Opinions on school uniforms
« Last post by Cherry91 on Today at 06:48:43 AM »
I'm from the UK, where uniforms are almost entirely a thing, but I've done the full circuit from the school where as long as you were wearing a school polo shirt they'd leave you alone, to a private catholic school with the full uniform - blazer, jumper, skirt that had to be knee length (they'd make you kneel on the ground and if your skirt didn't touch the ground you'd be in trouble. All it did was teach us how to roll a skirt in such a way that you could pull it to full length in under 5 seconds), etc. You had to ask the teacher's permission to remove your blazer, even in the summer, and some of the teachers would make you suffer for ages before they gav you permission.

Then I went to a Sixth Form with no uniform whatsoever and it was glorious. I went pretty mad with the freedom and dyed my hair about 10 times in two years.
All In A Day's Work / Re: How to handle a language barrier?
« Last post by on Today at 06:47:04 AM »
It can be tough, especially if you are the only Telmar. I was in Narnia, but at my job there was always at least two other Telmar's around. I worked at two separate jobs in Narnia, and it really depended on the situation if people spoke Telmarine, or just stuck with their native Narnian. I think it's very polite for them to speak Telmarine for your (and in my past situation) benefit, because they definitely don't have to.
Do you enjoy these outings or are they tiresome? I remember one meeting in Narnia, which was 98% in Narnian and it was about 4 hours long and I was having the hardest time pretending to pay attention. Or maybe you could suggest activities outside of restaurants or bars or other loud places where it's easier to have one-on-one conversations, because from my experience I noticed that when we were all at a table together, people usually tended to converse in Narnian.
Family and Children / Re: What do you all think of this?
« Last post by 123Sandy on Today at 06:42:05 AM »
Boyfriend needs to find his own place. He's acting like a teenager, hiding away in his room and only coming out to eat. I'd find it annoying.
Techno-quette / Re: wearing earbuds or bluetooth at home
« Last post by camlan on Today at 06:40:04 AM »
I'll offer another perspective (I don't know that I agree with it, but I understood when my mom explained it to me).  She finds that it is contradictory to be in the communal area yet put off solitary vibes to the people who are there.  Putting in the headphones to her shuts out everyone else, which is fine if you are in public with strangers who have no expectation of communication or if you are in a separate room for alone time.  However, if you come and are sitting in the living room where people in the house gather, she feels bad when you then don't "gather" with the others who are there. 

It's like eating dinner as a family or at a dinner party - there's a social expectation that people will participate in conversation and carry their weight.  If you joined the dinner table and then expected to just eat your food while not interacting, it would put others off for sure.

There's also thE fact that you cannot share what you're doing with other people. They can't hear your music, or watch your TV show with you. Both of those things would help them learn more about you, create shared experience (which bring people together).

It's a very isolating thing. And inside the family, that's really awkward. And it's extra awkward if you're doing it in the shared space.

The same can be said for reading a book, writing, solving a puzzle, drawing, etc. There is a time for social interaction but there is also a time for more individual activities. Doing them in a shared space (as long as it is not disturbing) is a wy to make it less individual, not more.

Yes! I've had some lovely mellow evenings where my SO and I both sat and read or wrote, while snuggling on the couch and making occasional idle conversation. I really value that in a relationship, actually--the ability to sometimes do our own thing separately-but-together. Obviously this isn't every interaction, but sometimes.

Note that you can make the occasional idle remark. The trouble, for me, with ear buds or bluetooth, is that you really can't. In fact, as the OP says, you have to attract the other person's attention first, then talk. Not something I'd want to do every time I had something unimportant to say.

For me, the use of earbuds at home, as opposed to at work or on the subway, etc., signals that the person doesn't want to be interrupted. (I almost typed "bothered by other people," because that's how it seems to me.) It's one thing to send that signal at work, another thing completely to send that signal at home.

And it's to the point with the OP that she simply doesn't talk to her SIL much of the time, because of the need to check to see if he's occupied with a conversation or music or whatever he's listening to.

And that's a problem for people who share housing. The OP should be able to say, "Dinner will be at 6:30 tonight instead of 6:00," or "Please pick up some orange juice on the way home from work if you want some tomorrow," without having to spend time checking for earbuds, making eye contact, waving her hands in front of SIL's face. Getting his attention could take longer than delivering the short message she needs to give him. 

Because the habit of using bluetooth or earbuds is affecting the other members of the household, i.e. the OP, I think maybe having a talk about limiting the use of the devices, or restricting which rooms they can be used in, or some other compromise, might be in order.
89 general / Re: Creepy or just over zealous?
« Last post by 123Sandy on Today at 06:39:52 AM »
I'm going to say neither, it's probably part of his job. In the employees position I'd have found your reaction as "off".
Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: Horror movies - recommendations
« Last post by iridaceae on Today at 06:30:21 AM »
But shorter doesn't automatically make The Shining a good movie.
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