News: IT'S THE 2ND ANNUAL GUATEMALA LIBRARY PROJECT BOOK DRIVE!    LOOKING FOR DONATIONS OF SCIENCE BOOKS THIS YEAR.    Check it out in the "Extending the Hand of Kindness" folder or here: http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=139832.msg3372084#msg3372084   

  • February 28, 2017, 12:14:01 AM

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81
Time For a Coffee Break! / April the Giraffe is expecting a calf!
« Last post by Bobbie on Yesterday at 10:38:25 AM »
https://youtu.be/ZuYR4cTNbB0

This giraffe has been in labor for days. I am watching and hoping all goes well. Anyone else watching?
82
Life...in general / Re: Go Fund Me, part 2
« Last post by Outdoor Girl on Yesterday at 10:38:03 AM »
I wouldn't ask for my money back.  But I would hope that the money raised over and above what was needed would be donated to a worthy cause(s).
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Life...in general / Go Fund Me, part 2
« Last post by Redneck Gravy on Yesterday at 10:23:05 AM »
There was a child killed in a tragic accident last week in my town.  A Go Fund Me account popped up within hours trying to raise $5000 for funeral expenses started by a friend of the family.   

By Saturday evening the fund had topped $20,000 and there was an announcement that a local funeral home would donate the majority of funeral costs, so cost is now estimated around $2000.

Now there are some rumblings on FaceBook about the parents making a profit off of the loss of their child.

The parents didn't know the funeral home was going to donate partial cost and no one knew the fund would top the anticipated cost.  I hardly think they are "making a profit" and no one should berate them for a GoFundMe account they had nothing to do with setting up or the fact that the generosity here in our community is more than expected.  No amount of money will bring this family comfort and I cannot think of many things much worse than losing a child, this is a horrific tragedy. 

It is possible to get a refund, if you contact the recipient and they agree to refund your donation or you can prove fraud (hardly applicable here).  How many of you would try to reach these poor parents and ask for your money back?  And how rude would that be?  I can't even imagine dealing with that on top of everything else.
     

       
84
I must thank the wise minds of ehell, I've been trying the white vinegar trick to evade the perfume cloud that happen sometimes in my household and while it's not 100% efficient I'd rather get a wiff of vinegar than the headache inducing perfume.
I put some in an empty jam jar so that I can keep the lid on in the meantime.
85
Etiquette Hell Classics / Re: EH Classic - The Jealous Bridezilla 11-29-01
« Last post by TurtleDove on Yesterday at 10:02:40 AM »
^^^I am certain that there are people who are overly jealous and controlling (both men and women), but I think this is a "know your place" situation. Based on what the OP told us, she is simply not among the people close enough to Michael (and Jenny) to know whether Jenny is toxic (or conversely whether Michael wants to quietly sever his relationship with the OP). It is not the OP's place - whether as an ex-girlfriend, or as someone who lives 10 hours away and is apparently not all that close with Michael - to make waves in or opine on his relationship.

I am friendly with essentially all of my exes, but I would never dream of contacting them without response in the ways the OP describes, nor would I assume the worst about their intended. I am not a jealous person, but if someone were to have contacted my husband in the ways the OP describes her contact with Michael, I would not be at all surprised if my husband wanted to sever whatever relationship he still had with that person. Unless an ex is supportive of one's current life, they have no place opining on it. They are an ex for a reason, and the relationship would need to develop into something "current" (not based on the fact they are exes) for that relationship to be a value add currently.
86
If your son is spending a few days with his aunt and uncle you need to un-block their numbers on his phone so he can can call them from where ever he and his cousin are.  Block them again when he gets back home.

He wouldn't be going alone, I'll be with him. He's only 12.
87
Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: Thrift Score!
« Last post by siamesecat2965 on Yesterday at 09:56:33 AM »
Wasn't sure until now, but as I've mentioned, I sell online. Thrifted a pair of premium denim. which usually retail for close to $200, for under $10. Just sold at my asking price, no offers or negotiations, and netted me $30 in profit.

Found another (hopefully) that will sell well. I see in my FB group for the app i sell on, everyone gets these amazing Goodwill and SA deals. Well, not me. I live in the NY metro area, and nothing is cheap there. And you never find any great wonderful pieces cheap, if at all. A lot of lower end stuff, which is fine, but for my purposes, not. But i decided now that I have some idea to swing by the local Goodwill Sat. Found a pair of kate spade shoes, in pristine condition, just some wear on the bottom which is to be expected as they're worn. Retail for $175, and i paid 7.50 as it was a half off price tag (color of the day).

Hopefully i can sell for a nice amount, and someone else can get a deal.
88
While I pretty much agree with everything being said here by the majority, I am dealing with a tax return for someone that was married to a "sounds like Jenny".

From the word go he knew she suffered from low self esteem and had intense jealousy issues.  All through their engagement and marriage she was like a helicopter bride.  She called him at least six times a day and on the rare occasions that he was "allowed" to go anywhere without her she called every 15 minutes to check on him.  Anytime plans were made in advance she managed to get sick right before he was leaving so he couldn't go (this was for mens hiking/fishing/camping trips).  He eventually lost almost all of his friends.   

She could not keep a job because she was always on the phone with him or had to leave to check on his whereabouts.  He was almost fired because she kept dropping in at his school (he is a high school teacher) and made inappropriate remarks to some of the young ladies in his class.

When first approached to do their taxes a few years ago, she came with him to the appointment, which of course was fine.  She seemed combative from the word go and everytime he started to answer a question she interrupted him to give the same answer he was trying to give me.  At the end of the interview and I summed up the process to prepare their return she said, "call ME if you have any questions, I do not like women calling my husband."

Here we are six years later and I am preparing their final joint return (I don't care where they go after this, I have had enough).  He has filed for divorce, had to move into an undisclosed gated location, file a restraining order to keep her off school property and get a second telephone that she does not have the number for.  When he was relaying all of this to me at our meeting for this year's return; I asked him if he saw all the signs beforehand why did he marry her anyway?  He said, I loved her, I thought it would get better and by then I was afraid she would do something harmful if I left her.

So while I doubt that the Jenny in this thread is like this, they are genuinely out there, they marry and create havoc and not everyone sees their manipulation and red flags from the start or honestly believes it will get better.  This one has called me several times to see if I have questions and has asked me everytime if she can have his telephone number.  I told her after the first call, do not call me repeatedly or I will block your number and refuse to prepare this return for you.     



   
89
Entertaining and Hospitality / Re: Picky Christmas guests
« Last post by Twik on Yesterday at 09:33:42 AM »
Quote
I can easily see somebody saying "why not suggest getting the food catered to avoid the grease/confrontation, and offer to fetch it on the way offer, to sweeten the pot?

The problem with this is that the person who suggests that a host gets the meal from a caterer, is also suggesting that the host pay a cost that may be substantially more than they would pay to cook the meal themselves. If a guest suggests a caterer, then the guest needs to offer to pay for it themselves. If it opens up a whole can of worms because the host is going to question why the guest wants different food from what the host was prepared to provide, well, that's why a guest shouldn't start expecting a host to change their menu. Whether or not a person is a good cook, or whether their food is too greasy is subjective. A lot of times we don't care for a host's offerings. That's life. You can eat it, push it around on your plate and eat later, whatever.

If guests don't like the hosting relatives cooking, one option is for others to sometimes take on the responsibility of hosting and preparing the big holiday meals for all the relatives. I actually think this is a good idea because it spreads around the cost and the workload, and it also makes for some nice variety, rather than having the same food every holiday.

I agree. The solution to not liking the host's cooking is not tell them to buy a much more expensive catered meal. You either eat what you get, don't go, or make a compromise, such as offering to bring a dish that you know you will be able to fill up on, at least.
90
Gifts, Registries and Money / Re: How to say honeymoon fund?
« Last post by TurtleDove on Yesterday at 09:32:30 AM »
The problem w/ an official honeymoon registry is it really does look like the couple is asking for money. Because they are. And that can turn people off.
  Plus, they always take a cut of the money--and lots of people who are willing to give money are happy to write a check. People already do that anyway.
   And sometimes the way the honeymoon registry is organized is sort of offensive or offputting

However, I think it's almost better to flat-out say:

"We've registered some gift ideas at BB&B. We are also hoping some people will want to help us with our honeymoon, so we can create memories that will last a lifetime."

Or sometimes you say, "We have so much of what we need for our new home together; there are gift ideas on our registry at BB&B for people who want to give a physical gift."   And leave sort of unspoken, "but cash is what's most likely to be useful." And then you use the cash any way you want.

I think saying nothing is best. Register for what you want, don't register for things you don't. Presumably the people you have invited to your wedding know you and want to give you what you will appreciate. (all yous general).

I personally have no problem with whatever registry a couple makes, because I want to give the couple what they would most appreciate. But the bolded comes across a little weird to me unless said in response to a direct question. I wouldn't state it outright on an invitation or website.
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