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  • February 25, 2017, 10:10:40 AM

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91
Etiquette Hell Classics / Re: EH Classic - The Jealous Bridezilla 11-29-01
« Last post by mime on Yesterday at 09:47:58 AM »
I agree with most of the assumptions in the OP (and suspect a bit of exaggeration/sarcasm for grins).

In the first paragraph, we learn that she views them as great friends, but Michael's view is different as he didn't prioritize letting her know about his engagement. I think the biggest assumption I'm making here is that Michael is in a healthy relationship with Jennifer.

About the comment in the second paragraph: "but I said fine, dancing with him wasn't something to cause trouble over or question her psycho ways" I assumed she said it all to Michael, but it is unclear. That colored my perspective, for sure. Even if she didn't say it all, it still suggests that she had to make the decision to not cause a stink over dancing with her ex on his wedding day. For most of us, I don't think such a comment would even need to made because it would be such a non-issue. It made me think LW believed she was denied something that she was owed and took the high road of not making a fuss.

For me, the third paragraph had "extinction burst" written all over it. This guy is clearly fading out of LW's life, and she doesn't like it. So.... she "makes several calls over the next week" so she can play the "I'm going to die" card. She is ignored (more evidence to me that Michael and Jennifer are doing just fine), but persists until she gives in with a "farewell, cruel relationship" message.

Finally, the last paragraph is where she still can't let go, and sends in the flying monkeys. OK, Michael and fiancée don't look good by playing the message to others, but it is much more of a stretch for me to see the LW as the rational person in this story.

All we know about Jennifer is that she didn't want her fiancée to dance with anyone else on their wedding day, and that she played several voicemail messages from LW for family members. Maybe a bit insecure and defensive, but she sounds much more reasonable than the LW.

92
Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: S/O Beggars, Moochers and Scammers
« Last post by Luci on Yesterday at 09:45:58 AM »
We handled the problem by just writing the checks, which Redneck Gravy said was not allowed. We lived in a sketchy neighborhood so we didn't let the kids go door to door and I still object to hitting relatives up for stuff. As a child, I was hurt by the rejection when people said "No" to the cookies or magazine subscriptions. All I learned from that was I'm not cut out for sales. I won't buy food or wrapping paper from a fundraiser because the prices are so elevated whereas a donation is deductible and I feel my money is better spent, so I often do write a small check when kids come to my door.  I was candy mom one year for one of the kid's clubs. What a racket! Definitely not cost effective from my part. I spent more on gasoline than the club brought in. I'm pretty adamant about that, but admittedly don't have an alternative for kids whose families can't afford  to pay the real cost of being in an organization.

 I love the way sports teams do it by having businesses sponsor the club for the advertising. Book Fairs are iffy. The product is the same as in a store and it's books! But, as it was in school and the kids came down down by classes, there was social pressure on the kids to buy. It was sad. I also like services like car washes and leaf raking. Of course paper drives are a thing of the past. We took part in the spaghetti suppers, too, because we could control the basic cost for the food, work hard, and the diners got a good meal for less than restaurant prices. Those are things that really are working together, not just going out on your own selling.  But "required" selling is something I just don't think is right and many parents really don't have time to contribute.
93
All In A Day's Work / Re: Preventing gifting by a coworker
« Last post by CrazyDaffodilLady on Yesterday at 09:35:49 AM »
Update: The potential gift recipient told the potential giver that he didn't celebrate birthdays anymore, and she seemed okay with that.
94
Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: DECLUTTERING
« Last post by ladyknight1 on Yesterday at 09:24:57 AM »
Provided everything goes well with the rest of the house buying process, I'm planning my moving strategy.

All clothing I can currently wear, like, and is in good condition is staying. The next smaller size of pants is staying. Everything else is going.

Even though we are hiring movers, I'm moving a two week wardrobe for myself, with two weeks of work clothes and two weeks of casual clothes, by using my large suitcase and everything on hangers will be moved in one trip. Shoes in their boxes, in a larger box. DH and DS will move their clothes for two weeks, themselves, and that way a lot of the stress will be reduced. Out of the closet, into the car, and into the other closet. Done!

We have to set up the third bedroom closet as a closet, since the owners removed the hardware and redid the drywall so we don't know where the studs are.  ???

At some point, the giant mirror that is losing it's silvering and is part of the wall will be removed, but we have to be prepared for a major refinishing/painting job when that happens.
95
We have a friend who is a commercial greenhouse grower and grows Carolina Reaper chilies. Oh my goodness, I can't be in the room with them, much less touch them.
96
Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: DECLUTTERING
« Last post by spookycatlady on Yesterday at 09:08:20 AM »
I'm totally overwhelmed by my space. I downsized to a small one bedroom condo from a 3 bed, 2 1/2 bath townhouse with finished basement two years ago. I thought I purged and abandonned enough then, but I really haven't.  I have too much furniture, too much stuff, so clutter gets messy in a hurry and my storage locker is full.

I'm planning on moving again in the next few months and have to really get ruthless. The thing is, I'm not quite sure what's happening because there are a lot of moving parts and none of us involved have reached a point of decision, so I don't know quite how to make the callon the things.

I'm either (in no order of preference):

- moving in with my bestie in her new townhouse as a tenant, where I won't need most furniture, but will be able to hang on to my full hoard art supplies stash

- moving into my gentleman friend's current townhouse, where I won't need any furniture, but will have to be very careful about the stash because room will be at a premium (half-custody of two teens that eat up a lot space)

- moving in with my gentleman friend in a new home that we purchase together. Some furniture stays, some goes, art stash remains intact, or

- moving in to a not as fancy neighbourhood for a larger, but cheaper apartment, most furniture stays, stash remains.

97
I don't cook with chilies much. If a recipe calls for "2 red chilies, thinly sliced, seeds removed if you don't like too much kick," what do I buy? Are they fresh? Dried? Also, I don't like a lot of heat, so would want something on the milder side (if such a thing exists). Advice?

They are either Fresno or red Jalepeno, more ripe than a green chile, and you will need to taste it to know how much to use. I don't like much of the heat, so I would pull the seeds out with a metal spoon, and use a glove on my hand to keep from getting the oils on your skin.

Thank you! And thanks for the reminder to get some gloves! I made something with jalapenos months ago (possibly the only time in my life I've done so), and found that even after 3-4 times washing my hands, I still had oil on my fingers... :)

Yes, definitely glove up. I use a lot of jalapenos, and they usually don't bother me, but we have a friend who grows the absolutely hottest jalapenos I've ever eaten - they're more habanero-level.  :-*  I always wear gloves when doing anything with those. The first time he gave us peppers, I didn't know about their heat and didn't wear gloves while making stuffed peppers. I had what amounted to a chemical burn on my hands for almost a week.  :'( I wear gloves all the time now.
98
Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: S/O Beggars, Moochers and Scammers
« Last post by Redneck Gravy on Yesterday at 09:05:02 AM »
I belong to a Facebook group for my community. Someone made several posts asking for GoFundMe donations for their child's school trip. They need $1500 and "every nickel helps."  That amount of money suggests a plane flight and an overnight stay.

Nothing about the child, what school, the purpose of the trip, or why the family cannot pay for it themselves. It could be high school seniors going to Disneyland's Grad Night, some bright kids invited to an academic decathlon, or just about anything else, academic or social.

The mods must have talked to the people because the posts have disappear d and there are no new ones.

My DD's band required that you sell so much of some useful/useless thing or another, you couldn't just write a check for $1500 or whatever it was.  The point was that they pull together as a team and sell items themselves and raise the money, not just have parents write checks.

I'm not understanding Redneck Gravy's post. "Required" that the studends sell? I am a band HS band member from the 60s with many band trips to D.C., NYC, Boston by bus from St.Louis under my belt (or butt). All six of our grandchildren are HS and college band members when applicable. DD was in both. DS is a HS band director and traveled internationally in college, and nephew won state teacher of the year award as a band teacher and takes his bands internationally. (Just giving my credentials.) I have never, ever heard of "required to sell." The kids are all given the opportunity to sell stuff or do public service that they get paid into their "accounts" if they can't afford trips or just simply pay the cash and be done with it. Some groups allow a student to work for the general fund or another student's account.

They all work together as a team to produce quality music and understand the economics of life. The only "requirement" is that they get the cash or not. The means are up to the family, student, and partaking of the offering to earn the cash by selling, working, or not. Don't earn or don't get supported, don't go. The end.

Therein lies the difference...band members were required to sell things as a fundraiser.  The student/family is not allowed to just write a check.  Nikko-chan's friend was clever and that's great - but what about those that don't have that kind of money?  And what did that child learn?   

The effort being made by students was to encourage them, as a team, to work together selling products/raffle tickets outside of big box stores, at football, basketball & baseball games, track meets, etc.  It also prevented wealthier parents from just writing a check and their child not having to participate in the team effort.

It would take entirely too much space to describe all the fundraisers used in her band career: raffles, selling Crush sodas wrapped in pretty ribbon sold as Valentine's, the dreaded cookie dough, beef jerky, concession stand nights, the wrapping paper fiasco, carnival night, poinsettia sales, turkey & ham sales, etc.  I can't tell you the number of times I have worked at concession stands, hauled flowers around and driven groups to various places to set up sales tables.  The point being it was meant to be a team project, not just a single band member raising their own trip money.   Yes, there were a minimum number of hours required to work on the projects but it wasn't so high that NO ONE could participate any at all.  And in DD1's case for her senior year they raised beyond the trip fund requirement.

DD2 was set up entirely different for her class trip.   All I can say at this point is thank goodness they graduated and it's all over.

Grandkids came home with flyers to sell something earlier this year, I called the school and asked how much they really profited from the sales, wrote a check and sent it back with the flyer.  I am not starting that in kindergarten when it is genuinely the parents expected to sell.                 
99
How terrible i am at math. Numbers confuse me, and always have.

So i sell online. mainly my own clothes, bags etc. But i also thrifted a bunch of stuff which is finally selling. When i first got it all, I had a dollar amount in mind, to make in profit, on each item. Some I've gone way over, some i barely broke even. So i decided to average out what I've made on my thrifted items.

So i took the price i paid, and subtracted that from what I netted from my sale, giving me an amount on each item. Great. Well, yeah, until i then tried to subtract my profit again, from what I paid for the items, and couldn't figure out why i had made like $11 total on all of them.

Duh. once i figured it out, I've actually done better than i anticipated but it took me 15 minutes of scratching my head to figure out why it wasn't working.
100
I'll admit now to being one of those people who didn't realize that essential oils were also a problem. Since they aren't based on some odd chemicals, I thought they were 'safer'. Not that I was basing that on any actual knowledge, just what 'made sense' to me  ::). I often wear a diffuser necklace with a couple drops of essential oil. As far as I know (from actually asking people if they can smell it), nobody else can smell it unless they're close enough to hug me.

I can almost guarantee that I would be able to smell it without being that close to you.  It would depend on the scent as to whether or not it bothered me.  We used to have a woman in our office who was using essential oils as a treatment for infertility.  She had to be spoken to on more than one occasion and told to knock it off, the smell was so strong.  I wasn't the one who complained that time.  Our office is supposed to be scent free; no one follows it.  I've had to speak to my supervisors on more than one occasion about air fresheners being used and some of the cologne and perfumes being worn, as well as the shower gel the lunchtime workouters use.  Fortunately, I'm not so sensitive right now.  I think it must be a hormonal thing as it comes and goes.

I guarantee you I could smell you as well...even at 10 feet away from me, possibly further depending on the scent.

Some essential oils or blends can be a problem for me, specifically those containing bergamot, anise/fennel, and pine tree/other fir trees (there are others, but those come to my mind at the moment). I know several people who are severely allergic to lavender. 

All natural doesn't mean "safe" or "hypoallergenic."

Wow. Well, now I know better!  I may have to see if anyone in my office is sensitive to them.

btw-- it's usually use spearmint or lemongrass. Just enough for me to notice it from time to time during the day.

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