News: There is a new Ehell Kindness Project!  Check it out in the "Extending the Hand of Kindness" folder or here: http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=139832.msg3372084#msg3372084   

  • August 26, 2016, 07:17:02 AM

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91
Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: 2017 Eclipse - Viewing, Camping, other
« Last post by katiescarlett on Yesterday at 04:16:45 PM »
Oh, I am super excited about this thread!! My baby brother's 27th birthday is August 21 of next year, and he, his girlfriend, my little sister, I and possibly my other brother and his wife are going to Portland to see it. I'm glad I saw this, as the suggestions to look into booking lodgings now is a great idea!!

I would love to meet some e-hellions while in Oregon. I am in southeastern Oklahoma, a long way away.  :D
92
I was in high school JROTC (Junior Reserve Officer Training Corps), think junior military

The women's uniform was just changing from plaid skirts to black slacks so both were acceptable (can you imagine how different that looked in formation?) with solid white button down blouses.   

Hair was "above the collar or pulled back"   Earring studs, a watch and class ring were acceptable jewelry.

I don't remember any other rules and some thought that was pretty rigid at the time (late 70's).  Our shoes were black shoes (pretty much anything) and white nurse's shoes with our drill team uniforms.  I realize times were different but I remember hearing about scandalous soldiers that wanted to wear drop earrings or a ring on every finger or heaven forbid a non-white shirt!   :o

I wonder what instructors are having to deal with these days ?    ::)   

Navy JROTC during 96-'00 - same exact uniform standards that you gave with earrings, watch, class ring, and hair.  We all had the same uniform though - white short sleeve shirts for spring/fall and then the long dark navy/black (looked black to me) for winter.  All were supposed to wear the dark navy/black slacks and your black shoes were to be shined at all times along with your belt buckle.  Males were not allowed to wear earrings in uniform but the class ring and watch were allowed.
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Don't have time to answer more ???s.  But I have another myself and this may be insane on my part.

In looking over some responses, I have to agree I was kind of arrogant and stupid in suggesting things like an energy audit and so forth.  Would it be okay if I just sent a short email apologizing for that gaffe?  I had no intention of minimizing their problems by doing that.  It was something someone else spoke about and I thought "Ooh, good idea.  Maybe they have thought of it, maybe they haven't."

On the other hand, I disagree with my brother that he would have to spend "thousands" on appliances.  Each appliance that I bought in the last few years
has been under $600.  Of course-- I don't need or want a stainless steel fridge with all the latest doo dads, either.  (And no, I would never say that to them!)

If I were you, I would apologize and then move forward.  You really do need to work this out civilly. 

"Brother, I'm sorry for suggesting the audit.  I overstepped.  I would, however, like to talk to you about a long term plan for taking care of Dad.  While the current situation isn't working, I do think we can collectively come up with something that is fair to both of us and also be in Dad's best interest.  I'm not sure that I'll be able to fly down there anytime soon, but what do you think about me calling you guys next week so we can all talk it out?"

I might send something of "My apologies - I simply thought you hadn't thought of it yet.  Let's talk over phone/Skype soon.  Love, Yarnspinner."

And then drop it.  I would have the real conversation over the phone or Skype with just your brother or your brother and father.  No reason for SIL to be in on the conversation, even if she is married to YS' brother.  I know others will say that they're married and finances are co-mingled, but SIL needs to step back and let the siblings deal with their father for a moment.

It's not just that their finances are comingled.  It's that he's living in her house.  Not only is she contributing financially, in part, but she is also dealing with the day-to-day activities associated with him living there.  It wouldn't be fair to tell her that she has no stake in the claim when the decisions made very much affect her, her home life, her finances, and her kids' lives.  Now, if there's animosity between SIL and OP, it might be wise for her to discuss things with her husband and then trust him to represent her interest, but I don't think anyone should say that this is just between siblings.  Dad is only going to need more pointed and deliberate care as he ages and she very well be the one that chauffeurs him around, cleans up after him, deals with emergencies, takes time from doing things with her kids to care for him, etc.  She very much should be part of coming up with the plan and her input is just as important as either the OP or her brother. 
94
Life...in general / Re: Gift confirmation deadline awkwardness - advice?
« Last post by Take2 on Yesterday at 04:08:55 PM »
"Hi, I am just following up on the time share dates. We have two other sets of plans that are contingent on firming up the dates, so we really need to confirm within the next 2 days if we are going to be able to go, is that feasible? I am sorry to be difficult, we did not anticipate how full that month would be on our calendars! We really appreciate this generous gift, and are getting excited about the trip. Thanks again!"
95
Life...in general / Re: When the corrector is incorrect
« Last post by JeanFromBNA on Yesterday at 04:07:54 PM »
We saw comic Mike Birbiglia, and was talking about how his family pronounced his Italian last name:  Ber- BIG-lee-ah.  He described how after a show someone approached him to say, "In Italy, it's pronounced Ber-bee-lee-ya."  He said to himself, "In America, you're annoying."
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No, don't take money out of your IRA.  There are consequences.
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I might send something of "My apologies - I simply thought you hadn't thought of it yet.  Let's talk over phone/Skype soon.  Love, Yarnspinner."

And then drop it.  I would have the real conversation over the phone or Skype with just your brother or your brother and father.  No reason for SIL to be in on the conversation, even if she is married to YS' brother.  I know others will say that they're married and finances are co-mingled, but SIL needs to step back and let the siblings deal with their father for a moment.
98
Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: Professional Darwinism: Update to OP on p.74
« Last post by jedikaiti on Yesterday at 03:45:15 PM »
I have a Google Drive spreadsheet that uses Google Translate to translate into 90 languages at once. PM me your email if you'd like me to share it with you.
99
Life...in general / Re: Driving etiquette: Signage vs "local customs"
« Last post by TurtleDove on Yesterday at 03:41:00 PM »

If every car was on one lane I would never drive past them even if legally I was allowed to. I take my clue from how the traffic is behaving on that day.

How do you decide which car to merge in front of? How far back should people start merging over? Not being snarky - trying to figure out what the states that prefer this method recommend and why.

To be clear, again, in my state I know that zipper merge is recommended by the DOT and while not everyone executes the zipper merge appropriately at the very least that is the way it is "supposed" to be done around here so that is how I do it.
100
Life...in general / Re: Gift confirmation deadline awkwardness - advice?
« Last post by TootsNYC on Yesterday at 03:40:56 PM »
Maybe say, "I'm guessing we should plan to not head to wine country this fall and should go ahead with our other plans. Let me know if I'm wrong."

And give it two days and then move ahead with the alternate plans.
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