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91 general / Re: An Exercise In Morbidity?
« Last post by Margo on Today at 05:02:46 PM »
I think there are two separate things.  Walking, jogging, riding a bike through a cemetery doesn't seem inherently rude, but to some extent it might depend on the cemetery.  For example, Mt. Auburn near Boston was designed for people to use as a park in addition to being a burial ground, so I don't see any reason why it would be rude to do so.  There are likely others where that is not allowed.

I think the primary purpose has to be burial and the services around that, so mourners, whether part of a service in progress or sitting by a grave, take precedence and every effort should be made not to disturb them.  So if one is jogging or having a picnic or reading a book, you should avoid disrupting mourners and also move if you realize you are in a place where someone who wants to visit a grave needs to be.

Yes, but also bearing in mind that someone who is walking, or having a picnic, or reading a book may in fact *also* be visiting a grave, and may need to be there.  I have a close friend whose brother died in his early teens. She has told me that when the weather was suitable, she would often go and sit by his grave while she did homework,  that she took her first boyfriend there and sat down with drinks and snacks, because that was something she felt she needed to do to grieve for him, and feel he wasn't forgotten. If you didn't know that background, you might assume she was just using the graveyard as a quite place to read, or study, or picnic. Of couse you should avoid disrupting funeral services.
Time For a Coffee Break! / Re: Dear Dog:
« Last post by mmswm on Today at 05:00:43 PM »
I hope Baxter drives over to see you often!

Don't think he won't try!  He's settling in well.  We visited this afternoon.  He's such a door ball.  Coach's house is walking distance, so I think the boys might be over there as frequently as Coach and his wife will let them.
The lying isn't weird, exactly. It's someone trying to find a polite way of defusing being caught in an embarrassing situation, and not doing very well at it.

She knows it's a copy. She was hoping you wouldn't realize it, or be reassured that it wasn't if you suspected. Unrealistic, even a little funny, if you think about it.
Family and Children / Re: Spin off of "How is my baby?"
« Last post by Twik on Today at 04:58:12 PM »
I have to wonder what the MIL would have done if the OP hadn't chosen the correct photo. Crow with glee? Say, "See, even her own mother can't tell us apart!" And this would accomplish what, exactly?

It depends. A nice person might just think it was funny/adorable - "We all look so much alike!" But if there's already an undercurrent of not-niceness, I could see it accomplishing "See, you aren't a good enough mother to recognize your own child. I'm going to tell all my friends about how my DIL can't pick out her own baby."

It's one of those things that could be done anywhere on the scale from good-hearted to darkly malicious.
I Truly think in this scenario you can simply say "I don't want to hear it" and go back to your work.

If they press for more, direct them to management.

Don't feed trolls.
Most of the crafters around here can tell stories of gifts given to people who didn't appreciate hand-crafted originals.  Your MIL is happy with her photocopy and her cheap frame -- likely she wanted a bigger size in the first place, and isn't into burled wood frames.  Now, trying to convince you that a larger photocopy is your original is foolish, but for whatever reason, she didn't want to admit that she no longer has the original.  She may have even thrown it away after making the copy.  (Again, the crafters here can tell tales of hand-made quilts used as dog beds, and knitted sweaters trashed for the crime of being hand-made.  :-\  )

There isn't a whole lot you can do about it now.  As others have pointed out, once a gift leaves your hand, you relinguish all rights to it.  You now know that it may not be worth the trouble to give your MIL original drawings. 

It would probably be churlish to point out that MIL would be happy with photocopies if they were printed on nice "parchment" paper. 
97 general / Re: Eating loud food in the library
« Last post by Lynn2000 on Today at 04:51:03 PM »
If people would be okay with you talking at a normal conversational level in that library, crunchy food is fine.  If you would feel hesitant to chat for too long or too loudly, then I'd pick quieter foods because the crunch is more likely to disturb others.

This seems like a sensible standard to me.
When a non-fiction book title has the title and then what the book is about in the title.  As in, "TITLE OF BOOK: What the book is about".  I don't know why that irritates the beejezus out of me, it just does.  Just use either the title or what the book is about, you don't need both.
Humor Me! / Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Last post by AfleetAlex on Today at 04:47:41 PM »
I admit I know nothing about hens, so the idea that they like marshmallows made me laugh. The things you learn!  ;D
Family and Children / Re: Spin off of "How is my baby?"
« Last post by Lynn2000 on Today at 04:46:40 PM »
In light of frequent comments about how DD looks like your DH, with no mention of your contribution, I can see how MIL's gesture just seemed like a continuation of that, no matter how good her motivation. That would really get old after a while.

Side story: My cousin Jamie had a sister, Sally, who died as a teenager. When Jamie got married and had her first child, a girl, she named her Sally after her deceased sister. For months afterwards at every family gathering all we heard from Jamie's mom was how her granddaughter little Sally looked exactly like deceased Sally, with photos presented to "prove" it. I can understand why Jamie's mom was moved, but it really got a bit extreme, I thought. It was like little Sally had no identity of her own, she was just deceased Sally reincarnated (a belief we don't normally espouse in my family, FTR). And, it's not exactly weird or miraculous that a child should look a bit like their aunt anyway.

The kicker was that when Jamie had her second child, a boy named Steve, people would be like, "Who do you think he looks like?" and the response would be, "Hmm, don't know. How about those Knicks?" It kind of gave the impression that Steve wasn't as special to his grandmother as Sally, because he didn't have such a strong (allegedly) family resemblance. And, that's to say nothing of what Jamie's husband might have thought of all this.

I really think my aunt was coming from a good place with her comments, but from an outside perspective, it was kind of weird, I thought. As I said before, I have trouble seeing resemblances (goes along with generally having a hard time recognizing faces), so I've always found the "he/she looks just like..." conversations a little surreal.
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