Author Topic: A rather sad suggestion, but maybe apropos  (Read 13913 times)

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aventurine

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Re: A rather sad suggestion, but maybe apropos
« Reply #30 on: August 12, 2011, 04:14:18 AM »
Me thinks you, my friend, need a shovel buddy as much (or more) as I.  >:D

Perhaps you'd be willing to motor South when I go to my reward   8)

Of course! I'll even bring one of those industrial steam shovels!

I'm sure you'll be on your way to Philly if need be!  ;D

Deal.  We should start a service   :)




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Lisbeth

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Re: A rather sad suggestion, but maybe apropos
« Reply #31 on: August 12, 2011, 11:57:45 AM »
Ehellions, this thread really wasn't meant to be a humorous one.

I've seen that most of the recent posts have been jokes.  I understand that many people feel the need to make light of serious/sad situations, but in this thread, it really makes me uncomfortable.  Can we please keep it serious?  Thanks.
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Poirot

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Re: A rather sad suggestion, but maybe apropos
« Reply #32 on: August 12, 2011, 12:20:54 PM »
You're right. That's why we moved it to PM. No disrespect was intended, only gallows humor.
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Fluffy Cat

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Re: A rather sad suggestion, but maybe apropos
« Reply #33 on: August 12, 2011, 06:00:44 PM »
Ehellions, this thread really wasn't meant to be a humorous one.

I've seen that most of the recent posts have been jokes.  I understand that many people feel the need to make light of serious/sad situations, but in this thread, it really makes me uncomfortable.  Can we please keep it serious?  Thanks.

I guess everyobody grieves and/or handles death differently but I've come to terms with the most serious approach being the only approved one, even on the internet. 

I'm sad (abstractly as I didn't know the posters in question personally but of course regret their passing nonetheless) but personally, I would not like to be immortalised on the internet by internet acquaintances (versus genuine internet friends) in the event of my demise. 
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Lisbeth

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Re: A rather sad suggestion, but maybe apropos
« Reply #34 on: August 12, 2011, 06:51:15 PM »
Ehellions, this thread really wasn't meant to be a humorous one.

I've seen that most of the recent posts have been jokes.  I understand that many people feel the need to make light of serious/sad situations, but in this thread, it really makes me uncomfortable.  Can we please keep it serious?  Thanks.

I guess everyobody grieves and/or handles death differently but I've come to terms with the most serious approach being the only approved one, even on the internet. 

I'm sad (abstractly as I didn't know the posters in question personally but of course regret their passing nonetheless) but personally, I would not like to be immortalised on the internet by internet acquaintances (versus genuine internet friends) in the event of my demise. 

Being memorialized, though, would not be about how you felt but about the grief others might feel in your not being there anymore.  That's why it is said that "funerals/memorials are for the living" and what the suggestion was about.  And cracking jokes can be very insensitive to those who feel a good deal of pain and grief-which can happen, whether or not the people were acquainted in real life, or how well they were acquainted online.
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aventurine

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Re: A rather sad suggestion, but maybe apropos
« Reply #35 on: August 12, 2011, 07:05:28 PM »
I guess everyobody grieves and/or handles death differently but I've come to terms with the most serious approach being the only approved one, even on the internet. 

I'm sad (abstractly as I didn't know the posters in question personally but of course regret their passing nonetheless) but personally, I would not like to be immortalised on the internet by internet acquaintances (versus genuine internet friends) in the event of my demise. 

Being memorialized, though, would not be about how you felt but about the grief others might feel in your not being there anymore.  That's why it is said that "funerals/memorials are for the living" and what the suggestion was about.  And cracking jokes can be very insensitive to those who feel a good deal of pain and grief-which can happen, whether or not the people were acquainted in real life, or how well they were acquainted online.

I agree with FC.  My niece mentioned more than once that should she be killed in a car accident, she wouldn't want a roadside memorial (crosses, flowers, etc at the site of a fatal crash).  She died at 15, in a car accident, and we honored her expressed wish.  I said upthread that I think it'd be appropriate to notify online communities where one has a presence, but if that notification also comes with a request not to memorialize the poster, that should be honored.  Expressing shock, grief, cracking jokes, whatever the contributors feel is appropriate could be done on the notification thread.  A whole separate thread put up in my honor would be a bit weird (especially if no joking was to be allowed.  Jokes would, in my case, be mandatory.)




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AngelicGamer

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Re: A rather sad suggestion, but maybe apropos
« Reply #36 on: August 12, 2011, 07:07:15 PM »
Lisbeth, I really like the idea for a sticker and their account being locked like they do on Facebook. 




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buvezdevin

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Re: A rather sad suggestion, but maybe apropos
« Reply #37 on: August 12, 2011, 07:34:58 PM »
This.  Much agreement.

As a newer poster, but longer time lurked, I have noted occasionally posters in older posts who were frequent contributors but are no longer active.  While I would expect, and hope, the lack of continued posting activity was not due to passing, I would welcome something which acknowledged posters passing to recognize why they no longer posted.  That said, in conjunction with some other recent threads I do not know how readily that could be done without potential difficulties or issues.  Just wanted to add I like the idea.
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Lisbeth

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Re: A rather sad suggestion, but maybe apropos
« Reply #38 on: August 12, 2011, 07:35:47 PM »
I guess everyobody grieves and/or handles death differently but I've come to terms with the most serious approach being the only approved one, even on the internet. 

I'm sad (abstractly as I didn't know the posters in question personally but of course regret their passing nonetheless) but personally, I would not like to be immortalised on the internet by internet acquaintances (versus genuine internet friends) in the event of my demise. 

Being memorialized, though, would not be about how you felt but about the grief others might feel in your not being there anymore.  That's why it is said that "funerals/memorials are for the living" and what the suggestion was about.  And cracking jokes can be very insensitive to those who feel a good deal of pain and grief-which can happen, whether or not the people were acquainted in real life, or how well they were acquainted online.

I agree with FC.  My niece mentioned more than once that should she be killed in a car accident, she wouldn't want a roadside memorial (crosses, flowers, etc at the site of a fatal crash).  She died at 15, in a car accident, and we honored her expressed wish.  I said upthread that I think it'd be appropriate to notify online communities where one has a presence, but if that notification also comes with a request not to memorialize the poster, that should be honored.  Expressing shock, grief, cracking jokes, whatever the contributors feel is appropriate could be done on the notification thread.  A whole separate thread put up in my honor would be a bit weird (especially if no joking was to be allowed.  Jokes would, in my case, be mandatory.)

All of which is fine, but I think in this particular thread, which isn't about memorializing anyone specific but a general suggestion, the cracking of jokes isn't really called for.
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aventurine

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Re: A rather sad suggestion, but maybe apropos
« Reply #39 on: August 12, 2011, 07:47:09 PM »
I think in this particular thread, which isn't about memorializing anyone specific but a general suggestion, the cracking of jokes isn't really called for.

I will admit to some puzzlement about that.  Had this thread been about anyone specific, I'd agree with you.  As it is, though, I see it as a board-suggestion thread and thus a no harm/no foul situation. 

YMMV.




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Lisbeth

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Re: A rather sad suggestion, but maybe apropos
« Reply #40 on: August 12, 2011, 08:39:57 PM »
It does sort of hijack the thread topic.
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Fluffy Cat

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Re: A rather sad suggestion, but maybe apropos
« Reply #41 on: August 12, 2011, 09:39:08 PM »
Sadly, we have lost some members this year who have passed away.   :'(

Would it make sense to have a folder where they can be memorialized?  Also, is there a way to indicate this in their status (Super Hero, Member, etc.)?

On topic now.  Personally, I find the idea a little creepy.  I think letting a forum know when an active member dies is completely understandable, but some sort of memorial?  If I don't know you well enough for you to be real life or active internet friends with me and thus work through your grief in normal, personal ways instead of an all points bulletin tribute on the internet, then I doubt you really need any actual coping mechanisms.  And if you do, then, I think thats a little creepy.

I think you're intentions are good, but I really don't see the point or the helpfullness of such an idea.
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Lisbeth

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Re: A rather sad suggestion, but maybe apropos
« Reply #42 on: August 12, 2011, 09:42:50 PM »
So you won't be memorialized, Fluffy Cat.

However, it looks like many posters disagree with you that it's unnecessary or "creepy."
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Fluffy Cat

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Re: A rather sad suggestion, but maybe apropos
« Reply #43 on: August 12, 2011, 09:44:31 PM »
So you won't be memorialized, Fluffy Cat.

However, it looks like many posters disagree with you that it's unnecessary or "creepy."

Thank you for that as I'd prefer not to be memorialised here.  I was answering your OP.
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Fluffy Cat

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Re: A rather sad suggestion, but maybe apropos
« Reply #44 on: August 12, 2011, 09:56:02 PM »
I'm sorry, I thought the OP had a question about the appropriateness of such an idea.  I didn't realise it wasn't up for discussion so I'll be quiet about it now.  Carry on.
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