Author Topic: A rather sad suggestion, but maybe apropos  (Read 13817 times)

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Poirot

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Re: A rather sad suggestion, but maybe apropos
« Reply #45 on: August 13, 2011, 12:28:12 AM »
First of all, I apologize (again) if the gallows humor that I engaged in has offended you Lisbeth, since you started the thread. That is why I moved to PM. I do think mentioning the passing of ehellions is a good idea. If memorial threads are desired, I totally support that too.

I feel a great deal of personal sadness on the recent passing of one ehellion in particular.  :'(  I would find it very inappropriate to post jokes and/ or gallows humor in her memorial thread.

This, however, is not a memorial thread for any particular poster, is it? I understood it as you asking for people's opinion of your idea, which I believe could be a good one for some members.

Frankly, I don't understand why all this correction and chiding of individual posters, myself included, is appropriate. And who exactly is the arbiter of appropriateness?
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jmarvellous

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Re: A rather sad suggestion, but maybe apropos
« Reply #46 on: August 13, 2011, 01:00:52 AM »
I don't want to discourage people from grieving for their eHell friends, but I also don't necessarily see the need for a logo or a more formalized memorial thread(s) in order for people to do so. Partly because, yes, I see the potential for abuse of such a system with the sad reality of trolls or liars, and partly because I don't see how the current procedure is deficient.

I also see the other side of the coin, which is that if such a button or folder made me uncomfortable (as it likely would, though I'm holding out final judgment), I could simply choose not to click on it.


Hopefully this isn't seen as an insult to those in mourning, as that's far from what I'm intending. But I do think the idea is an interesting one that could cultivate a back-and-forth discussion of the sort members seem good at.

ShadesOfGrey

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Re: A rather sad suggestion, but maybe apropos
« Reply #47 on: August 13, 2011, 09:45:38 AM »


[omit]  I think letting a forum know when an active member dies is completely understandable, but some sort of memorial?  If I don't know you well enough for you to be real life or active internet friends with me and thus work through your grief in normal, personal ways instead of an all points bulletin tribute on the internet, then I doubt you really need any actual coping mechanisms.  [omit]

I think you're intentions are good, but I really don't see the point or the helpfullness of such an idea.

I agree with this - I'm not sure it's an appropriate topic for this forum overall.  I also think there are other venues for people to express their real grief over such issues - by themselves, via pm and/or email with others on the forum, with your loved ones in real life, with a counselor, etc. 

This might also engender issues concerning death vs. banning (did they pass, or were they banned? Or did they just leave on their own??), mistakes made in notifications, trolls, not to even mention the different ways people grieve (humor vs. somber, ignoring/shuttng out vs. displays of emotion) etc. It also feels out of place for an etiquette forum- it's like you have this forum for a specific purpose, not for general socialization (though many people do make friends here), and this one thread that would be completely out of character for the rest of the forum.  The owner/mods dont allow just any topic here - all threads should be related to etiquette in some way, and to have a specific dedicated area for members that passed...seems quite off from the overall tenor of the forum. 
Words mean more than what is set down on paper. It takes the human voice to infuse them with shades of deeper meaning. - Maya Angelou

I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. - Maya Angelou

Poirot

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Re: A rather sad suggestion, but maybe apropos
« Reply #48 on: August 13, 2011, 09:58:05 AM »
You're correct, DP. The whole discussion is moot if ehelldame and the mods find any of this not in line with the purpose of the site, which is etiquette, first and foremost.
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kingsrings

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Re: A rather sad suggestion, but maybe apropos
« Reply #49 on: August 15, 2011, 02:18:32 PM »
I don't want to discourage people from grieving for their eHell friends, but I also don't necessarily see the need for a logo or a more formalized memorial thread(s) in order for people to do so. Partly because, yes, I see the potential for abuse of such a system with the sad reality of trolls or liars, and partly because I don't see how the current procedure is deficient.

I also see the other side of the coin, which is that if such a button or folder made me uncomfortable (as it likely would, though I'm holding out final judgment), I could simply choose not to click on it.


Hopefully this isn't seen as an insult to those in mourning, as that's far from what I'm intending. But I do think the idea is an interesting one that could cultivate a back-and-forth discussion of the sort members seem good at.

My thoughts, too. This is obviously a very sensitive subject, and I'd hate to see any harm done because of misinformation, either intentional or unintentional.

Oxymoroness

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Re: A rather sad suggestion, but maybe apropos
« Reply #50 on: August 15, 2011, 02:28:40 PM »
Jokes would, in my case, be mandatory.

I've had enough tragedy in my life that if not for gallows humor, I wouldn't laugh half so much.  :P

Please folks, if anything happens to me, please remember to laugh (even at me if you must).
« Last Edit: August 15, 2011, 02:31:05 PM by Oxymoroness »

MineralDiva

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Re: A rather sad suggestion, but maybe apropos
« Reply #51 on: August 23, 2011, 10:58:19 PM »
For ease of locating, it might be nice to have a special memorial-type folder to post notifications about fellow Ehellions who have passed away.  When I posted about Milosparront, I wasn't quite sure where to put it - and then when I posted, wasn't sure it would be seen by everyone who might want to see it.

I also like the shovel buddy idea.  I do so very much miss mine.  She sparkled as brightly here as her star in the sky does now.